← We Can Do Hard Things
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- [00:00]
Glennon Doyle
This podcast is brought to you by Kleenex Lotion tissues. You can't predict sick days, but with Kleenex lotion tissues, you can be better prepared for them while helping keep your skin healthy. Whether it's a surprise sneeze or a stuffy nose, it's always good to have something gentle on hand. Kleenex lotion tissues moisturize to help prevent skin irritation while you're battling those unwanted cold and flu symptoms. It's extra care when you need it most. With lotion built into every tissue, Kleenex lotion tissues helps keep your skin moisturized and healthy with every wipe and for those cold winter days, keep relief within reach. Grab Kleenex lotion tissues to help avoid the added discomfort of irritated skin during the cold and flu season. I mean, why not have one less thing to worry about when you're not feeling your best? We all know life is unpredictable, but if you can be prepared for that time of year when germs are going around by making sure you you've always got Kleenex lotion tissues at the ready for whatever happens next, grab Kleenex.
- [01:02]
Abby Wambach
Finding a great mentor who can really help me level up isn't easy. But my dream mentor, Amy Poehler. So when I heard that she had a class on Masterclass, I was so excited. Masterclass is the ultimate way to learn from the best, to become your best. It's the only platform where you can access over 200 world renowned experts for just $10 a month. An annual membership gives you unlimited access to every instructor whether you're watching on your phone, computer, smart TV or listening in audio mode. One class that really changed the game for me was James Clear's session on building new habits. With 88% of members seeing positive results, it's easy to see why Masterclass is so impactful. Plus, every new membership comes with a 30 day money back guarantee, so there's no risk in starting your learning journey today. Right now our listeners are getting an additional 15% off an annual membership@masterclass.com hard things. That's 15% off@masterclass.com hardthings masterclass.com hard things who's excited? I'm so excited.
- [02:23]
Amanda Doyle
I'm so excited.
- [02:24]
Glennon Doyle
I just can't hide it. I'm about to lose control and I.
- [02:27]
Amanda Doyle
Think I like it.
- [02:28]
Abby Wambach
I do think I like it too. And I haven't been this excited in a long time. Years.
- [02:34]
Glennon Doyle
Why are we excited?
- [02:35]
Amanda Doyle
Tell the good people while we're excited. Okay. You haven't been this excited for this Long. I have never kept a secret for this long. I am not a secret keeper. I am a truth teller. And I have been harboring this very exciting secret for so long. And today we get to tell you first, sweet Pod squad, we have written a new book. Amanda and Abby and I have written a new book which we have been secretly and diligently and very excitedly working on for years.
- [03:10]
Abby Wambach
Yeah.
- [03:11]
Amanda Doyle
The book is called We Can Do Hard Things.
- [03:15]
Glennon Doyle
Oh, my God.
- [03:20]
Amanda Doyle
The subtitle is answers to life's 20 questions. Okay, we're gonna spend this hour telling you the beautiful story of how this book has come together and why. I believe that this is the book that will make the biggest impact on the world that I've ever released. I believe that with my whole being. Before we get into all of that, we're going to tell you it would mean a lot to us if you would pre order this book right now.
- [03:51]
Abby Wambach
Yeah.
- [03:52]
Amanda Doyle
There are many reasons why pre orders actually matter in a big way to authors. And I have told you that a million times before when I've asked you to pre order my friend's books. Today, I'm asking you to take a moment and pre order we can do Hard Things. Answers to Life's 20 Questions by Glennon Doyle and Amanda Doyle and Abby Wambach.
- [04:15]
Abby Wambach
You guys, I'm so excited because I am on the COVID with Amanda Doyle and my wife, Glennon Doyle. Like we are co authors of something.
- [04:26]
Amanda Doyle
Yeah.
- [04:27]
Abby Wambach
Do you have any idea how fucking awesome that is for me? I just cannot believe this is happening.
- [04:33]
Amanda Doyle
I know.
- [04:34]
Abby Wambach
It's finally happening.
- [04:35]
Amanda Doyle
So it means a lot to authors for many reasons. Please, if you can, you can pre order this book right now, anywhere where you buy your books. Simple, simple, simple. Just go to wherever you buy books and press pre order. Or you can go to treatmedia.com t r e a t media.com and find all the links to pre order. I'll tell you what the hell treatmedia.com is another time. That's a whole nother huge situation. Today we're gonna focus on We can do hard Things. Answers to life's 20 questions, which is our big beautiful guidebook for being alive.
- [05:23]
Abby Wambach
Yes.
- [05:24]
Amanda Doyle
That will be in your hands in May. Okay. The Release day is May 6, but you can pre order now. Please pre order the book today. Pre orders help us so much. There is a second thing I have to tell you.
- [05:42]
Abby Wambach
This is why this is so exciting. Because it's not just one surprise, it's two.
- [05:47]
Amanda Doyle
Because I so believe in the sort of life saving power of this book and this community. And because of this very interesting moment we're in in this country and world, we have decided to hit the road to take this beautiful book and this beautiful message on tour to your cities. To gather together, to be in the same room together, to celebrate, to truth tell, to comfort each other, to. To create an evening just full of hope and joy and unity. So, Sissy, can you tell them what they're supposed to do about the tour? Because what's going to happen is what always happens, which is probably this is going to sell out fast and then people are going to be sad that the tickets are gone. Can you tell them, Amanda, how to get tickets now? First? Yep. And how we are trying to do our best to protect them from the people who gather up all the tickets and then jack up the prices.
- [07:04]
Glennon Doyle
Absolutely. Okay, so, yes. Thrilling. Thrilling. The first time ever that the three of us will be on tour together. And it's just so exciting. I can't wait. Can't wait to see y'all there. So right now, the only people who can actually buy tickets to the tour are the people who are part of Glennon's newsletter community and part of this POD squad. I'm going to walk you exactly through how you do it so you can pause and come back. But we just want you to hear this, because this is to make sure that this community gets access to the seats first and to make sure, as Glennon said, that we protect this community from aftermarket, secondhand price gouging situations where the prices go way up. Because we're really trying to make the seats in these awesome venues be as affordable as possible in those venues. So here's what we do. If you're signed up for the newsletter, you already have that code in your inbox. So look for Glennon's newsletter, a little treat. And the code will be there and the links to buy will be there. So if you already have the newsletter, you can follow these directions, but it's already in your inbox. If you are not part of the newsletter, first of all, you better get yourself on the newsletter. Second of all, you want to go to treatmedia.com t r e a t m e d I a dot com there will be a place at the top where you can pre order your book. And right under that is a place where you're going to get your tickets. The book and the tickets are being sold separately. So when you get to the place where the tour dates are, you find the city you want and you click on it. And it's going to ask you for a code. This is the code. The code is the tour. We're trying to be really sneaky with that. The code is the tour. It's T H E T O U R. There's no spaces. It's all lowercase. It's case sensitive, so just all lowercase. The tour, no spaces. That's the whole ball game. We have until Wednesday around noon where the pre sale goes on. But this is for the POD squad and the newsletter to have early access. So do it now, before Wednesday, because you are the most important people to us. So, yeah, treatmedia.com, find your city, put in code the tour, and if your city isn't there, come visit. If not, hopefully, maybe.
- [09:43]
Amanda Doyle
Hopefully.
- [09:43]
Glennon Doyle
We don't know. Maybe we'll come back around. Wouldn't that be fun?
- [09:49]
Amanda Doyle
We're going to tell you the whole story of how this beautiful life guidebook, this beautiful book came together. But first, what I'd like to ask you to do. If you're a listener of this pod, if my work has meant something to you in the past, if you believe in our work and you want it to continue, here's where I ask you to do something. Please pre order. We can do hard things. Answers to life's 20 questions. Pre orders matter. Pre order this book right now. Anywhere where you buy your books. Simple, simple, simple. Just go to wherever you buy books and press pre order. Or you can go to treatmedia. T R E A T M E D I A dot com. Treat Media is a place we're going to be keeping all the information you need about this book, about this tour, about the community. So pre order the book today. Wherever you order books or go to Treat Media for all the links in one place.
- [10:50]
Abby Wambach
So for those who live maybe in the Midwest or up north, like in Rochester, where we say the word tour differently. I just want to make sure that I'm saying it right for all the people so that they know what the code is.
- [11:06]
Amanda Doyle
Baby, tell them how you say tour. Tell them your way of saying tour.
- [11:09]
Abby Wambach
Tour. It's tour. And that's what I'm gonna die by.
- [11:14]
Amanda Doyle
Okay, so first.
- [11:15]
Glennon Doyle
So that's what we're gonna brand it. We can do our things. The tour.
- [11:18]
Abby Wambach
Yeah, the tour.
- [11:19]
Amanda Doyle
Welcome.
- [11:19]
Glennon Doyle
Come visit us on the tour.
- [11:21]
Abby Wambach
So if you want to order your tickets, you have to put in the code. The tour, not the tour. So some people might write T O R E for the tour, but that's not it.
- [11:32]
Amanda Doyle
Oh, I see. Oh, I see. Okay, so what you're saying is if the word is spelled T O R E, it's tor. And if the word is spelled T O u R, it's 2R. So, for example, that would mean. How many stops are we making? 1, 2, 3, 4.
- [11:53]
Abby Wambach
So I just wanted to say it's the tour or the tour, but it's spelled T H E T O U R. That's the code in order to get your tickets for the tour.
- [12:05]
Amanda Doyle
Okay, here we go. Let's tell our beautiful people how and why and what this gorgeous book is.
- [12:18]
Glennon Doyle
Why don't you start with just how the hell it all started? Yeah, tell that part.
- [12:22]
Amanda Doyle
Okay, first we have to tell them my life affliction, which I have spent my whole life thinking was only my life affliction, and now I know it's a lot of people's because of the process of writing this book, which is that the amount of times I've sat with Abby and said, why every day of my life do I feel like I'm Dory from Nemo? Right? I feel like every single day of my life since I have had consciousness, I am faced with the exact same issues, the exact same questions over and over and over again, every single day. Why am I like this? How do I figure out what I want? How do I know what to do? How do I make peace with my body? Why can't I be happy? Am I doing any of this right? What is the point? These are the questions I face every single day. And every day, I just blink at these questions as if I am brand new here. As if I have never learned a damn thing. I am freshly clueless every single morning. And I think to myself, I am almost 50 years old. I know that I have learned a whole hell of a lot along the way. Why do I wake up every day having forgotten everything I know? It's like a really, really bad system. So all I end up doing is just facing every effing problem in my life as if it's the first time I've ever faced it. I just have to learn everything the hard way, over and over again. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.
- [14:00]
Glennon Doyle
Just keep swimming.
- [14:01]
Amanda Doyle
And what I really want is to stop learning things the hard way. I just want to remember things an easy way.
- [14:06]
Abby Wambach
Okay?
- [14:07]
Amanda Doyle
I want to remember things that I know and you both know. I have sort of glossed this phenomenon into calling it beginner's mind. I just say I have beginner's mind, but what that means is, I can't remember shit. I know. I learned this already. But I guess I'll learn it freshly when we wake up clueless and afraid. The three of us have sort of turned out to be each other's compasses, right? We check in with each other. We help each other remember what we know. We are each other's mirrors, as this pod squad knows all. In the span of one year, the three of us hit a really bumpy spot in life all at the same time. Okay? I was diagnosed with anorexia. Amanda was diagnosed with breast cancer, and Abby lost her beloved brother Peter. All of this happened right around the same time. I mean, as many of you know, the harder life gets, the more clueless we feel. Now, I'm just gonna repeat that as another part of this very bad system. The harder life gets, the more clueless we feel. The harder life gets, the harder it is to remember what we know, to gather the wisdom that we need to enter that hard time when we need it the most. All our wisdom is gone. And we learned that together. We would just sit with each other and just stare at each other and say, how do we go on? What do we do next? What is the point of all of this? And so what did we do during that time? We started writing down every single bit of wisdom we could remember. We started having deep, deep conversations with each other, asking these questions of each other, conjuring up every glimmer of wisdom, every treasure that. That we remember learning that would help us through this time in life. And then when we had mined each other for every bit of wisdom we knew, we turned outward, and we started asking people on this podcast the most brilliant, beautiful, wise guides we trust, the same questions. We asked them for the wisdom that they had gathered along the roads that they'd walked. We asked people, our friends in emails, we asked people in frantic texts in the first thing in the morning and last thing at night. And we did this Pod squad. The wild thing is we just did this for ourselves.
- [16:53]
Glennon Doyle
And Abby would be like, I feel like that episode we did with so and so, and she would just listen to it and come back from her walks and be like, I just re. Listened to that episode we did to try to figure out what the hell's going on.
- [17:06]
Abby Wambach
Like, how can I forget? I was present for the freaking conversation. I was there.
- [17:10]
Glennon Doyle
Yeah, but we'd have to write it down, because we'd be like, yeah, we forgot that thing that was really super smart that that person said.
- [17:17]
Amanda Doyle
Yeah, but isn't that what happens? I just want to take a moment and say, that sounds wild, but that is what happens when I feel lost and clueless because I'm facing some part of my life that feels unprecedented. Because everything always feels unprecedented to me, even though everything is precedented as shit. I've been through all of it already. We turn to our friends and books and podcasts, and we turn towards people who save our lives with something that they say. I mean, how many moments have we had in this space, on this podcast, on couches with each other, on phone calls with friends where we say, I'm lost. And our friend says something that saves our life in the moment and reminds us of who we are and reminds us of what we know. And it's like a flashlight that helps us step into the next thing, and then it's freaking gone. Right.
- [18:15]
Abby Wambach
That's the thing about podcasting and conversations that are the hardest for me because I'll be walking, and I'm an avid podcast listener, and somebody will say something, and I'm like, damn, that's so good. And I just keep walking.
- [18:27]
Amanda Doyle
Yes.
- [18:27]
Abby Wambach
And it's, like, gone.
- [18:28]
Glennon Doyle
And it just keeps walking.
- [18:29]
Amanda Doyle
Right out of your head.
- [18:30]
Abby Wambach
It's gone.
- [18:30]
Amanda Doyle
Yeah.
- [18:31]
Abby Wambach
And that's why this book is so profound to me, because it's all of the juiciest, good golden nuggets in one place.
- [18:41]
Amanda Doyle
Yeah. I mean, we realized we are constantly turning to each other and friends and podcasts and books to save us. And there's just a time where you also need it all in one place so you can save yourself. You just need every bit of it. We were talking about how when you go to a new country, you need a guide. People take with them something that is a guidebook that is made up of tips and wisdom and things to see and things to not miss and things to concentrate on and beauty of that place. And it is made up by people who have been. Been there, who have been there and who have walked those roads. And if you go to that new country without that guide, you will miss a ton, and you will not know how to make your way through that place as well as you would have if you had the guide. And we wanted that for life. We wanted a guidebook that when we entered new spaces, that felt new grief, loss, parenthood, love, joy, all of those. The roads that we walk onto each day. We wanted a guidebook made up of tips and wisdom from people who had walked those streets. And by the way, sometimes we're us. We were the people who have walked those streets. We needed the wisdom we had collected the last time we were on that road. We wanted it all in one place. We wanted a guidebook for life. And we are the people to have written that, because on this podcast and outside of this podcast, we have been so, so lucky to learn from each other and to learn from the wisest, most brilliant, bravest people who have walked this planet. And so what we did is we created a guidebook for life, divided into the biggest, most beautiful, juicy questions that every single one of us asks themselves each day. And then we collected every glimmer of story, idea, wisdom, tip that had been collected by us and by other wise guides who have traveled that road before. Because listen, when life gets hard, which is most days, right?
- [21:05]
Glennon Doyle
When life gets hard, which is as soon as you open your eyes.
- [21:08]
Amanda Doyle
Yeah. The most important thing to do is to remember. We have to remember what we know. We have to remember what we have learned along the way. We also have to remember the other thing that remember means. Remember means to recall what we've already learned, but it also means to come back together. Remember is the opposite of dismember, right? It's like, yes, we can make it through by remembering what we have learned personally, but we also make it through by coming back together with other people and saying, tell me what you know. Inside this book is a remembering of everything that we know. And it's also a remembering of everything that the wisest people that we know have taught us.
- [22:01]
Glennon Doyle
Yes. And it's a remembering of who we are individually and a remembering of who we are together.
- [22:19]
Amanda Doyle
You've heard her name in headlines during trivia nights as a punchline. Monica Lewinsky. She's been a major reference in pop culture since she was 24 years old when a scandal made her a household name overnight. Since then, she's fought to redefine her reputation, and now she's ready to use her experience to encourage others to take back their power too. On her new podcast, Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky, Monica leads honest and wide ranging conversations about what it means to write your own narrative. Each week, guests like Olivia Munn and Alan Cumming share how they've rediscovered purpose rebuilt relationships and redefined success after their most vulnerable moments. Through raw conversations with actors, athletes, activists and everyday people, Reclaiming explores what happens after the headlines fade and how to find your voice when the world thinks it already knows your story. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky wherever you get your podcasts, watch new episodes on YouTube or listen early and ad free by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts.
- [23:22]
Abby Wambach
As the weather warms up and spring is in the air. It's the perfect time to escape the usual routine and take a refreshing getaway. I recently discovered how special a spring retreat can be when I book an Airbnb. Instead of a hotel, we found a peaceful cottage. So cute, tucked away in the countryside, surrounded by so many blooming flowers and the sound of birds chirping. It was exactly what we needed. A quiet little escape with all the comforts of home. We had the whole place to ourselves with plenty of space to cook breakfast and enjoy meals at our own pace. Unwind with a good book in a cozy corner and even step outside to relax on the porch. Whether you're with family, friends, or flying solo, Airbnb gives you the home away from home experience with the space and freedom to truly relax. If you're looking for your own spring retreat, Airbnb has the perfect spot waiting for you.
- [24:17]
Amanda Doyle
I think that I know more than anyone on this entire planet that having the right therapist to talk to can make a life changing difference. That's why I think Alma is so cool. Alma connects you with real therapists who understand your unique experience. You can use their directory to search for someone who specializes in the areas that matter most to you, whether that's anxiety, relationships, or anything else. And what stands out to me about ALMA is that 97% of people seeing a therapist through ALMA say their therapist made them feel seen and heard. You know, I love that that level of connection isn't something you can get from scrolling through online advice or following social media. It's about finding someone who truly understands your journey and is dedicated to helping you make progress. Better with people, better with Alma. Visit helloalma.com hardthings to get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello a l m a.com hardthings.
- [25:29]
Glennon Doyle
You know, the stories that Abby tells, I would never have experienced those things in my whole life. A whole different experience. But when I read her stories in the book, there is a truth in her story that I'm like, oh, that's like me. Yes. Even though the details are totally different. Or it's a remembering of who we are at the deepest sense and what on earth it is we're doing when we're doing all the things that we're doing down here.
- [26:00]
Amanda Doyle
Yeah. The Dory from Nemo feeling is that everything feels brand new every time a hard thing arises. It feels unprecedented. Right. But there is nothing that you are walking through that someone else has not walked through.
- [26:21]
Abby Wambach
That's right.
- [26:22]
Amanda Doyle
You are never alone as alone. Life is wild because we walk it alone. But we walk it alone together. Right? Whatever road you're walking right now, grief, horrific loss, problems in relationships, the state of the world, you're walking it alone. But alongside a million other people who have tips to help your journey, you are never doing it alone. That's the we. If it was I can do hard things, I would never. I wouldn't be. No, the we.
- [27:01]
Glennon Doyle
Yeah.
- [27:02]
Amanda Doyle
Super, super important, shared responsibility.
- [27:04]
Abby Wambach
And I think something around what we've done with this podcast and with the conversations we've had with each other and our friends, we realize we're just kind of all circling around the same 20 questions, you know? And I think that that's something that's so beautiful about this book, because the truth is, I really do want to understand more of why am I like this? Or who am I really? Do we really ever spend quality time thinking about the question beneath the problem or the hard thing that's happening? Because I think that that's where so much of our suffering lies, is that we don't know that we're actually asking ourself a much deeper, more important question than the problem or the hard thing that's happening in our life.
- [27:55]
Glennon Doyle
Let's tell em the questions. Let's tell em the 20 questions.
- [27:58]
Abby Wambach
Yeah.
- [27:58]
Amanda Doyle
First of all, I wanna say that we were all keeping this sort of personal survival guide for ourselves. It was for me and Abby and Amanda during that time. You know how you write down things for your friend that quotes that you think will help them? We were creating this sort of treasure chest.
- [28:17]
Glennon Doyle
It's like a communal journal.
- [28:19]
Amanda Doyle
Yes, a communal journal. That's a good way of saying it.
- [28:21]
Abby Wambach
When the three of us were actually in Cris together at the same time.
- [28:25]
Amanda Doyle
About different things, we're like, well, we're.
- [28:26]
Glennon Doyle
Fucked because usually one of us is doing okay.
- [28:28]
Abby Wambach
Exactly.
- [28:28]
Glennon Doyle
This is a real problem.
- [28:30]
Amanda Doyle
Well, it kind of was like that, right? Because we're used to one of us being steady while the other two are losing it, and then that person can kind of guide us. But when we all lost it, we needed some outward source of truth. Yeah.
- [28:41]
Glennon Doyle
We can't ask each other, so let's ask the words.
- [28:44]
Amanda Doyle
Yeah. And then what we say. We had lost sort of a compass, so we needed a map. Right. Like we needed something outside of ourselves. That's good. And so we kept this communal between the three of us journal until one day, one of us, I don't remember who it was, said, this has to be for everybody. This is so freaking good. We can do hard things. It's a guidebook for being alive. And the wild thing that we learned during the creation of the communal journal was that we seem to just ask ourselves, the three of us, the same 20 questions every single day, over and over again, repeat forever for our entire life. Now, the really cool thing is we thought that that was just us, but the more we asked all of the beautiful guides on this podcast, we discovered they, too, ask themselves some versions of these exact same, same 20 human questions in a million different ways every day. And so the cool thing about that, y'all, is that we figured out, okay, then if we can organize this book into those questions, this guidebook for life into those 20 questions, then we have ourselves a source to go back to, no matter what we're spiraling around every single day. We have a gift to give our friends that they can come back to throughout their day, no matter what they're spiraling around. We have a gift we can give our kids to say, this is what life is going to feel like, and here's how to find yourself, no matter what you're spiraling around.
- [30:27]
Glennon Doyle
And the beauty of that is, I feel like so much of our shame and fear comes from this place of thinking that we're the only ones struggling with this thing, even before we get to the fact of, like, how do we stop struggling from this thing? We're in a place of feeling shame and fear that it's just that we're totally messed up and broken that we're even asking this question. So for me, when I see you two struggling with the same thing and admitting it and the people that I respect the most in the world, naming the thing for them that they're struggling with. It's not just that they're telling me how they got through it or what they learned. Half of it is just being like, you, too. Yeah. For real. This person that I thought would have it figured out, that is a huge part of this is just the kind of universality of, like, oh, it's not that there's something wrong with me that I'm asking this. Maybe it's that this is part of being human.
- [31:39]
Amanda Doyle
Yes.
- [31:40]
Glennon Doyle
To struggle with this thing. And the other part of being human is to struggle together in a way where we can use each other as lighthouses through it. And so that has been a really beautiful part of this journey for us.
- [31:57]
Amanda Doyle
Yeah. It's like we thought that the fact that we spiraled around these questions every day meant that we were doing life wrong. And what we realized is that the fact that we Spiral around these questions each day just means we're doing life, right. This is it. This is it.
- [32:15]
Glennon Doyle
Good news, bad news, y'all. This is it, right? The good news is it's not you. It's life. The other good news is, wow. Are these beautiful, beautiful stories that help us feel less alone and find our way. And to me, it is so grounding reading it. I've gone back and read it. Seriously. Flipped to chapters, like, six times.
- [32:36]
Amanda Doyle
Oh, me too.
- [32:36]
Glennon Doyle
Every day in the past two months where I have felt like in a parenting thing, where if I'm like, oh, God, suddenly I don't know what's going on, and it feels chaotic and I feel scared. I've gone back to reread our own chapter on parenting and felt like, okay, I feel grounded now. Now I know what it is I'm doing here.
- [32:55]
Amanda Doyle
Yeah, you remembered what you knew. And I have never in the history of my writing career ever looked at a book that I've written, ever. I've never picked up Carryon Warrior. I've never picked up Love Warrior. I've never picked up Untamed. When I'm done, that's it. It's like looking at an old yearbook picture for me. I don't ever want to see it again.
- [33:14]
Glennon Doyle
You're missing out the good parts.
- [33:15]
Amanda Doyle
I've heard they're good. I've heard they're fine. Now, listen, I've read them 7 trillion times before they go into print. Of course, this book I have opened. Maybe. I don't know. I'm trying not to exaggerate. At least twice a day. It's wild. Like, I'm using it to remember. It's so grounding. It gives me hope. It feels like it makes the chaos of life feel absolutely unchaotic. It just makes things feel clear. So here's some of these questions. If you find yourself in any of these questions, just take note. Are these any of the swirling questions in your brain? Why am I like this? Who am I really? How do I know when I've lost myself? How do I return to myself? How do I figure out what I want? How do I know what to do? How do I do the hard thing?
- [34:23]
Abby Wambach
Oh, that's such a good chapter. That's my favorite chapter.
- [34:28]
Amanda Doyle
How do I let go? How do I go on? How do I make peace with my body? How do I make and keep good friends? How do I love my person? Sex. Am I doing this right?
- [34:52]
Abby Wambach
That's gonna be, I think, a popular chapter for our people.
- [34:58]
Amanda Doyle
Parenting. Am I doing this right? You should know, Pod Squad, that the working titles we had for those chapters for about a solid year was just sex, colon, wtf. Yeah, parenting, colon, wtf. So we just softened it to am I doing this right?
- [35:16]
Glennon Doyle
Okay, but as you read it, no.
- [35:19]
Amanda Doyle
Wtf.
- [35:20]
Glennon Doyle
That's the real question.
- [35:21]
Abby Wambach
What the fuck?
- [35:24]
Amanda Doyle
Why can't I be happy? Why am I so angry? How do I forgive? How do I get unstuck? How do I feel better right now? And what is the point? Okay, I want you to know that probably about three quarters of the way through the creation of this book, I think Amanda was right. About to go into her double mastectomy, Abby was just buried in grief. I was so just stunned with confusion and stress and overwhelm. And I wrote to Valerie and Allison and said, it has to stop. I can't do it. I cannot. I know we can do hard things, but everything is too hard. And I don't think that we can finish this project. Like, it has to go on hold.
- [36:27]
Abby Wambach
And Valerie and Allison are on our team, just so the folks know.
- [36:31]
Amanda Doyle
And a few hours later, Valerie wrote me an email back, and I want to read it to you because it's one of the reasons why you're hearing this message. And this book is actually going out into the world in May. Here's what Valerie wrote back. I understand. If you ever want to begin again, know this. This book is it. This is the life guide I want to hand to my daughter to help her make sense of her life, her people, and her world. To remind her that she already has all the wisdom she needs inside of her to help make this hard, beautiful life just a little bit easier for her. This book is the guidebook for life I want to leave her with so that she remembers she can always find her own way, because that is what this book has done for me. So, y'all, I received that email and then spent a few nights with my eyes open wide, staring at the ceiling, because I knew that that was true. I knew that this was also the book that I want to leave my kids. I wanted to leave it to them. I want to give it to everyone I know, because life is so hard. But the good news is we don't have to do it alone. And we don't have to do it freshly every morning, and we don't have to figure it out by ourselves. That there is so much, much help and wisdom and clarity out there. And now we've gathered it all up, and it's right inside this book. And I've never been so certain that a book is going to serve this gorgeous world that I love more. What if I told you the most important part of spring cleaning is the sock drawer? Yep, you heard that right. It's time to ditch the worn out pairs and refresh your collection with Bombas. First up, if you're looking to kickstart a new walking or running hobby, Bomba's Blister fighting sweat wicking athletic socks are your secret weapon. They'll take you from that first mile all the way to your first marathon. And if you have a wedding to attend this spring, Bomba's dress socks are perfect for loafers, heels and any fancy shoes you're rocking. I love wearing my Bombas merino wool socks. They are so, so comfortable. It feels like I'm walking on clouds and their underwear feels like nothing. While giving you all the support you need, Bombas is going international. Enjoy worldwide shipping to over 200 countries. Head over to bombas.com hardthings and use code hardthings for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M V-A S.com sl hardthings code hard things for 20% off your first purchase bombas.com hard things and use code hard things Robert Half research.
- [39:36]
Glennon Doyle
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- [40:13]
Abby Wambach
I think one of the things that I feel, especially now in the time that we're in, we talk about this book being the great connector, knowing that other people are going through similar things that you are. Me too, yes. Oh my gosh. I can't believe that they're writing this. This is a love letter to every one of us. That's why the tour or tour is going to be so fucking beautiful. Because we are going to be together in theaters around this country to be able to actually feel the experience of what it is to do life together. What it is to be wondering and spiraling around these questions that we're all having. Maybe this book can be your guide. I know it is for me. I know it's been for you Glennon and you Amanda. And honestly I've done a lot of really, I would say impressive things in my life and I'm certain that this is a thing that I feel absolutely the most proud of myself for 100%, because it's like. And this, like, makes me feel a little bit emotional. As a soccer player, I was so one dimensional in so much of myself. And the past 10 years since retiring has gotten me to this place, to this moment. This book has been co authored with my two best friends, and it's been made out of love and desire and grief and this excavation, this podcast and this community and the Pod Squad. I feel like we've gone on a journey together, but it's kind of been in the ether in a way.
- [42:07]
Amanda Doyle
It's been like, where is it?
- [42:09]
Abby Wambach
Where.
- [42:09]
Glennon Doyle
Where do we can't hold it and touch it? And this is the best we've got, the best we've been through on our journey. Holding and touching and being able to come back to.
- [42:20]
Amanda Doyle
And babe, can I say one thing about why I think it makes you so emotional? Because it has made you very emotional every time we talk about it. My guess is in soccer, you were just, like, admired for this shiny version of yourself that was very. You felt it was a bit talent based. It was a little superficial. It wasn't your full self.
- [42:38]
Abby Wambach
Yeah.
- [42:39]
Amanda Doyle
And now on this podcast and in the book, it's like your insides are out. You're showing people who you really are and being seen. This is why people love to write. You're being seen for who you really are on the inside, which makes you feel known.
- [42:55]
Abby Wambach
Yes. But it's also an offering, because I don't think this is just about me, you, and Amanda. This is all of our stories. This is the map. This is what we get to hand to ourselves. I needed this book more than anything for myself.
- [43:14]
Amanda Doyle
Yeah. You know, so many people have said, what are we gonna do? This is such a hard time. And it is a hard time. I don't know. I don't have all the answers. I have an answer. I know what we're gonna do during this hard time is we're gonna remember. We're gonna remember what we know in this book and we're gonna remember as a group, meaning we're going to come together. So go pre order the book, please. I'm asking you to do that. And then we're going to remember in person. Okay? We're going to come back together as a community. We're going to be in the same room and we're going to get through this hard time together. So is there anything else that you two want to add before we sign off and ask these people to do what we need them to do next.
- [44:02]
Abby Wambach
Well, I think if you've had any takeaway, if you've been walking on the street and you've been listening to this podcast and you've had moments, because I know that this happens in the conversations that we have. You have moments where you're like, oh, my gosh, that's so amazing. And then you forget to write it down or you're in a conversation with your friend. This happens to us all the time. We're in a conversation and they say something that changes our life. But you don't want to break up the conversation and be the nerd that pulls out a notebook or your phone and writes it down. We've done it for you. This is a book for you, your friends, your children, for your people to do life with. For me, this is the greatest gift that I feel like we've done to give to ourselves.
- [44:48]
Amanda Doyle
Yeah.
- [44:49]
Abby Wambach
To the three of us. And also, I want to say this. There's nobody on the planet that loves to be on tour more than this kid. I know.
- [45:00]
Amanda Doyle
My God.
- [45:00]
Abby Wambach
And I am so excited to get on stage with the two of you. I'm so excited to, like, see the POD Squad in real life. We are going to have a blast. It's going to be so fun. Pre order the book, buy the tickets, code the tour, anything else.
- [45:21]
Amanda Doyle
Sissy.
- [45:22]
Glennon Doyle
It just feels like a great, great honor and delight to have been part of this community with all of you listening who have made this podcast, not a podcast, but a real community of like hearted, curious, swirling, loving people. It's a really special place and special group, and it's a really special set of wayfinders that we have in this book, that it just feels like the power of community, like the power of community of this podcast community, the power of community of the thinkers and the writers and the swirlers that are also featured in this book. It's like probably 60 to 70% are stories, but we felt it was important and we're honored to include a portion of this book for the people who have changed our lives and saved our lives and the wisdom they have and the different experiences they have and the way their lives might intersect with yours. And a lot of those people are folks you've heard from on this pod and they have shared their stories so generously. And that feels like the power of community. And it just feels like in this moment where it's a really, frankly, scary moment to be alive and to know what we should be doing and to know how to make an impact toward good and away from what feels like a very scary, bad future for our people. There is something about the messages in this book and the community aspect of this book that feel really strong for me and really important for me because it is about struggling and getting through struggling and how to navigate your way through that and how to have ground beneath your feet as you do it. And it is also very much about finding and claiming joy and ease and your birthright of peace and sexuality and connection and friendship and. And sisterhood. And I really do believe that is so important right now in this moment, that if you hate your life, there's a lot less to fight for. And if you are living according to your birthright of joy and peace and connection and, yes, struggle, because that's your birth rate too, then you are way less susceptible to what is happening in the world right now because you know who you are. You remember. And you also remember what life is for. And you also remember what community is for. And you also remember they're worth fighting for. And so, just as the really big picture thing and a super most intimate thing, I'm proud and I'm grateful.
- [49:04]
Amanda Doyle
It's amazing. It's amazing to me that this is what we've been working on for years. Because look, I don't think that a book is going to save the world. I'm not saying that. But I can't believe that this is what we've been working on and that we have this offering in this particular moment. It feels bespoke.
- [49:23]
Glennon Doyle
Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, less that it'll save the world and more just like if it saves you, if it helps save you, get through your days to remember who you are and remember your joy. That is the only way we're going to save the world.
- [49:40]
Amanda Doyle
That's right. Yes. You save the world, you can save, as Mary Oliver used to say. Yeah.
- [49:47]
Glennon Doyle
So I'm thankful and I'm so excited to go hit the road with you and see all of our people. I mean, you haven't been on the road for five years, Glenn, and we've never done it together and it. It's been great. And we'll keep showing up here with you together.
- [50:03]
Amanda Doyle
Yeah. And I'm not afraid or ashamed to say that parts of this are really a two way street. Right. That like, if this is something that you want to go on, if this is important to you, we actually need you to do your thing. We're gonna do our thing and show up for tour. We're gonna put this book out we need you to vote for that by doing your part today, which is pre ordering the book. It means everything for many different reasons that I've explained before and I can in the future. It matters that there are pre orders that say the world cares about this book and the world wants more of it. So please pre order the book today and if you want to come see us on tour, get those tickets today because they'll go fast. We love you. Hold on.
- [50:51]
Abby Wambach
Just before. In case you're about to like you wanted to listen to the whole podcast, go to treatmedia.com t r e a t m e d I a dot com to pre order the book and also to get your tickets for the tour. The code is the tour T H.
- [51:12]
Glennon Doyle
E T O U R all lowercase, no spaces.
- [51:15]
Abby Wambach
Yeah.
- [51:16]
Amanda Doyle
And if you don't want to do that, you can pre order the book wherever books are sold. We love you. We can't believe we are going to go on this ride together. There's nobody else we'd rather go on it with than you. POD Squad and shout out before we end to Alison, who we could have. We would be doing none of this. Who has been with us since the very beginning. Without her, none of this podcast happens. None of the book happens. The book is just dripping with her, with Allison. Thank you, Alison.
- [51:53]
Abby Wambach
Can we bring her on stage for one of the.
- [51:55]
Amanda Doyle
Of course we will.
- [51:56]
Abby Wambach
We're gonna force you to do that, Alison.
- [51:58]
Amanda Doyle
And in addition to Allison, shout out to Valerie and Annie and Audrey, who have also been just unbelievably wise and fun collaborators on this book. We love you so much. We're so grateful. We'll see you on tour. Go pre order the book. Bye Bye. If this podcast cast means something to you, it would mean so much to us if you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do these three things. First, can you please follow or subscribe to We Can Do Hard Things? Following the POD helps you because you'll never miss an episode. And it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. To do this, just go to the We Can Do Hard Things show page on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Odyssey, or wherever you listen to podcasts. And then just tap the plus sign in the upper right hand corner or click on follow. This is the most important thing for the pod. While you're there, if you'd be willing to give us a five star rating and review and share an episode you loved with a friend, we would be so grateful. We appreciate you very much. We can do hard things is created and hosted by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle in partnership with Odyssey. Our executive producer is Jenna Wise Berman, and the show is produced by Lauren Legrasso, Allison Schott and Bill Schultz.