We Can Do Hard Things: "Our Oscars Stories & How to Stay Steady with Life Changes"
Podcast: We Can Do Hard Things
Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle
Release Date: April 7, 2026
Episode Overview
This heartwarming and humorous episode invites listeners into an intimate conversation between Glennon, Abby, and Amanda, as they reflect on their recent trip to the Oscars and dive deeply into themes of loss, celebration, the beauty of community, and navigating change—both at a personal and collective level. With characteristic vulnerability and laughter, the Pod Squad discusses their own experiences with grief, celebration, family communication, and answering complex listener questions about love and parenting, offering solace and solidarity to all who are doing the hard and magical work of being human.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Oscars Night: Losing, Laughing, and Loving This Community
- Their Oscar Journey: The trio and their group—including producers, artists, and "Lesbian Avengers"—went to the Oscars where their documentary (about Andrea Gibson and partner Meg Fowey) was nominated.
- Celebrating Loss: After not winning, the group collectively and hilariously leaned into it, exemplified by Tig Notaro's signature deadpan humor and their in-lobby, self-deprecating "we didn't do it" dance.
- Abby: “I've never celebrated a loss like that before.” [05:58]
- Glennon: “Oh, I would rather lose with this group of people than win with any other group of people on Earth.” [07:00]
- Memorable Moments:
- Jimmy Kimmel, a family friend, announced their category—then didn’t deliver the win.
- Kevin Nealon’s reaction: "F*** Jimmy Kimmel." [07:35]
- Sara Bareilles and Brandi Carlile’s warmth on the red carpet.
- Meg Fowey’s radiance in the room, likened to "the entire sun... inside her body." [09:35]
- Reflections on the Film's Nomination:
- Amanda: “I just can't believe a film about terminal cancer and queer poets was nominated for an Oscar. ...It was not supposed to even be able to be made or be streamed. ...So many more people are gonna get to see this film and experience Andrea and Meg.” [10:27]
- The notion of public ritual in grief: Most people experience their loss in private, but Meg got to share and be celebrated, which was “the opposite of the usual burden.”
Notable Quotes:
- Glennon: “We are losers!… Not today, Oscars.” [07:00]
- Tig Notaro (paraphrased): Posted a video joking their only aim in making the film was to win an Oscar—not to honor Andrea Gibson—which spurred loving, dark humor among friends. [08:22]
- Amanda: “I blame myself for that. I think I brought that [loser] energy.” [10:27]
- Abby: “I can't understand [award shows]. It's just a lot of 'look at me' energy. I don't know if I'll ever go back.” [16:50]
2. Oscars Surprises: Activism, Appearances, and Mishaps
- Glennon’s disappointment: Few attendees displayed visible support for political or social issues—contrary to her expectations.
- “I was surprised at this moment in time, how few people were signaling support for hurting people in the country right now with their bodies.” [13:35]
- Only Javier Bardem made a direct statement: “No more wars and free Palestine.” [14:27]
- Fashion Mishap: Glennon’s dog chewed through her borrowed fancy shoes before returning them to the stylist.
- “Bad dog, good taste.” [15:58]
3. Listener Q&A: Parenting, Promises, and Navigating Change
Listener Question (From Marissa):
Why does Glennon say it was wrong to promise her kids she’d never get divorced, but often promises Abby she won’t leave her?
Exploring Promises and Change in Parenting
- Glennon & Amanda:
- Children naturally fear change; promising “never” can backfire because life is unpredictable. Shelter from any change can actually be harmful long-term.
- Glennon recounts Amanda’s kid reeling from selling a family car, highlighting how kids anchor stability to objects and routines.
- Glennon: "I think the more uncomfortable with change a kid is, the more it is our responsibility as parents to expose them to change within the safe comfort of the family in a developmentally appropriate way.” [24:49]
- Emphasize honesty and presence over hollow promises: “No matter what happens, we are all going to get through it together.” [26:56]
On Children Sensing Parental Emotions
- Kids can detect when parents are upset, even if not explicitly expressed.
- Amanda: “You think you’re doing a really good job masking anything you’re going through, but you’re not because you share a home.” [32:00]
- Falsely denying emotions could teach kids to distrust their intuition or to consider emotions as dangerous.
On Modeling Disagreement and Struggle
- Abby: “Having this way of communicating with our kids when they’re young... gives them better understanding around the imperfect perfectness of marriage.” [37:43]
- Discussed generational differences: older generations often hid problems; current approach is to expose and discuss them for healthier emotional development.
The Promise to Abby
- Glennon draws a distinction: She won’t promise her kids that life will never change, but she feels confident telling Abby she’ll never leave—because, in her words:
- “If I were to leave this marriage, it would not be because I didn’t want to give up on love. It would be because love is too hard. ...Leaving this one would be giving up on love.” [45:54]
- Admits, though: “I actually don’t know if we’ll get divorced because there are other people involved… But I know that I won’t leave.” [45:54]
4. Listener Message—Heather’s Story & The Freedom Fleet
- Heather: Called in to say she’s leaving her government job to “get on one of the boats” (referencing the podcast’s Freedom Fleet metaphor).
- The Fleet Metaphor:
- There is a "river of love and equality and justice," and we each get in a boat (Free Palestine, LGBTQ rights, climate action, etc.) and row together toward progress.
- “You are not the captain, you’re a deckhand… And when another boat comes by, all you yell at them is, ‘Go, go, go!’ We are in this together.” [50:01]
- “Many boats, one fleet.” [51:47]
- Actionable Advice: Amanda urges listeners to find their local Indivisible chapter to get involved in community activism and highlights an urgent vote in Virginia.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “I would rather lose with this group of people than win with any other group of people on Earth.” —Glennon Doyle [07:00]
- “I just can't believe a film about terminal cancer and queer poets was nominated for an Oscar...So many more people are gonna get to see this film and experience Andrea and Meg. And I'm just so happy about that.” —Amanda [10:27]
- “If we have a kid who is resistant to change and we create a fake world in the home where nothing changes...they will be completely stunned and everything will seem like a tragedy.” —Glennon Doyle [24:49]
- “We are not protecting our kids when we’re not telling them the truth, period.” —Abby Wambach [39:40]
- “If I left this one, it would be giving up on love.” —Glennon Doyle [45:54]
- “Many boats, one fleet...We are going to make it through this time because, in fact, as Michelle Alexander taught us, we are not the resistance. We are the river.” —Glennon Doyle [51:47]
Timestamps for Important Segments
- Opening & Theme – [00:00]
- Oscars Stories & Reflections – [02:03] to [18:22]
- Listener Question: Promises & Change (Marissa) – [21:29] to [45:54]
- Listener Message: Heather & The Freedom Fleet – [48:20] to [51:47]
- Practical Action: Indivisible, Voting – [51:47] to [52:59]
Closing Tone
This episode radiates the Pod Squad’s classic blend of warmth, humor, and direct honesty. It’s a reassuring listen for anyone grappling with “hard things”—from losing big and public, to finding beauty in the aftermath, to honestly discussing family fears and feelings, to getting involved in change-making. Glennon, Abby, and Amanda show us that we can do hard things—together, with open hearts, laughter, and a little dark humor—reminding listeners: “Many boats, one fleet. We belong to each other.”
For more on community connections and organizing, listeners are encouraged to check their local Indivisible chapter and engage in the 'boats'—movements for justice and belonging—closest to their heart.