We Can Do Hard Things: Episode Summary

Episode Title: Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Release Date: May 3, 2025
Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle
Produced by: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle in partnership with Audacy

Introduction to the Episode

Time Stamp: [02:02]

In this special "Best Of" episode, Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle delve into the topic of pet peeves, exploring how our biggest annoyances reflect deeper aspects of our personalities and lives. Embracing the theme of "absurdity" as a coping mechanism for the challenges of 2022, the hosts aim to create an episode filled with joy, love, positivity, and a touch of humor while addressing the things that vex them the most.

Defining Pet Peeves

Time Stamp: [08:11]

Amanda Doyle begins by differentiating true pet peeves from what are essentially unacceptable behaviors. She explains that a pet peeve is "an idiosyncratic thing that annoys you," which may not bother others to the same extent. This personal lens means that while one person's irritation might be negligible to another, it holds significant weight for the individual experiencing it.

Notable Quote:

“A pet peeve is something that insults your soul... it's like a special gift that's been given just to you to protect your soul by giving you this thing that you hate.” – Amanda Doyle [09:31]

Common vs. Personal Pet Peeves

Time Stamp: [10:20]

The discussion shifts to universally common pet peeves, such as cracking knuckles, scraping plates with utensils, and people talking about themselves in the third person. The hosts identify these as widely recognized annoyances but acknowledge that their personal pet peeves often run deeper and are more specific.

Notable Quotes:

“People who talk about themselves in the third person.” – Amanda Doyle [10:41]
“It's literally raining cats and dogs. It is not, not in fact, literally raining cats and dogs.” – Abby Wambach [10:56]

Personal Pet Peeves Explored

Time Stamp: [13:40]

The hosts share their individual pet peeves, offering insight into their personalities and boundaries:

• Abby Wambach:
  Focuses on noise-related annoyances, such as excessively loud conversations in public spaces. Abby describes her sensitivity to noise as feeling "like I've been attacked by enemy fire," highlighting her struggle with highly sensitive person (HSP) traits.

  Notable Quote:

  “Anything that is silly or nonsensical or absurd is really helping me this year.” – Abby Wambach [05:13]

• Glennon Doyle:
  Expresses frustration with slow walkers and the disarray caused by others borrowing her belongings without proper care. Glennon emphasizes the importance of boundaries and the emotional toll of others' disregard for her personal space and items.

  Notable Quote:

  “It's so upsetting to me... Who don't look at the sink to see that?” – Glennon Doyle [31:14]

• Amanda Doyle:
  Highlights frustrations with passive-aggressive behaviors, such as people using "CC" in emails to subtly complain or involve others unnecessarily. She also mentions her annoyance with the phrase "I didn't have time," advocating for personal responsibility in time management.

  Notable Quote:

  “I feel like that's very the opposite of that whole meme. Like, Beyoncé has the same to 24 hours in a day as you have.” – Amanda Doyle [43:00]

The Impact of Pet Peeves on Relationships

Time Stamp: [22:46]

Abby and Glennon discuss how their differing sensitivities and pet peeves can create tension in their marriage. Abby's sensitivity to noise often clashes with Glennon's more carefree demeanor, leading to moments of silent frustration and mutual acceptance of each other's quirks.

Notable Quote:

“...we fight this invisible battle... and there's nothing we can do about it ever.” – Abby Wambach [52:11]

Strategies for Managing Pet Peeves

Time Stamp: [55:24]

The hosts brainstorm ways to mitigate the negative impact of their pet peeves. Glennon suggests that acknowledging and addressing these annoyances can lead to personal growth and better relationships. Abby introduces the idea of incorporating humor and proactive strategies, such as using humorous business cards to address loud callers or managing physical space to reduce annoyances.

Notable Quote:

“If someone is manspreading next to me on a plane, I will spend six hours on a flight spreading out as much as humanly possible.” – Abby Wambach [56:38]

Listener Engagement and Community Feedback

Time Stamp: [57:22]

The episode incorporates listener feedback, featuring Emily, a high school teacher, who shares her pet peeve about hyperbolic appreciation phrases like "teachers are superheroes." She emphasizes the need for tangible support and specific improvements rather than vague praise.

Notable Quote:

“If everyone said teachers should be paid $80,000, then actual change would happen.” – Emily [57:22]

Concluding Thoughts

Time Stamp: [55:57]

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the importance of understanding and accepting each other's pet peeves. They acknowledge that while these annoyances can create friction, embracing them is part of growing together in relationships. The episode closes with a call to action for listeners to share their own pet peeves and continue the conversation on fostering understanding and compassion within their communities.

Notable Quote:

“Instead of a little graphic that says teachers are superheroes and they should be paid a billion dollars... make a political call that actually states what teachers need.” – Glennon Doyle [58:21]

Key Insights and Conclusions

1. Personal vs. Universal Annoyances:
   Pet peeves are deeply personal and can reveal much about one's values, boundaries, and sensitivities. While some annoyances are universally recognized, others are unique to an individual's experiences and personality.

2. Impact on Relationships:
   Understanding and respecting each other's pet peeves is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships. Open communication about these frustrations can lead to greater empathy and stronger bonds.

3. Coping Mechanisms:
   Embracing humor, setting clear boundaries, and finding proactive ways to address pet peeves can mitigate their negative impact and foster a more harmonious environment.

4. Community and Support:
   Sharing pet peeves within a community can lead to collective understanding and support, helping individuals feel less alone in their frustrations and more connected in addressing common annoyances.

5. Advocating for Change:
   Beyond personal annoyances, recognizing systemic issues (e.g., how we appreciate teachers) and advocating for tangible improvements can lead to meaningful societal change.

Takeaways for Listeners

• Self-Reflection:
  Identify your own pet peeves to understand what they reveal about your values and boundaries.

• Communication:
  Openly discuss your annoyances with loved ones to foster mutual understanding and respect.

• Acceptance:
  Embrace the fact that everyone has unique irritations and work towards accepting differences to build stronger relationships.

• Action:
  Turn frustrations into actionable steps that can improve not only your own well-being but also contribute positively to your community.

Closing Note:
"We Can Do Hard Things" continues to inspire listeners to navigate life's challenges with honesty, compassion, and resilience. By openly discussing the things that annoy us, the hosts encourage a path toward living lighter, braver, and more connected lives.