Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)

Summary

We Can Do Hard Things: Episode Summary

Episode Title: Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Release Date: May 3, 2025
Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle
Produced by: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle in partnership with Audacy

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Introduction to the Episode

Time Stamp: [02:02]

In this special "Best Of" episode, Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle delve into the topic of pet peeves, exploring how our biggest annoyances reflect deeper aspects of our personalities and lives. Embracing the theme of "absurdity" as a coping mechanism for the challenges of 2022, the hosts aim to create an episode filled with joy, love, positivity, and a touch of humor while addressing the things that vex them the most.

Defining Pet Peeves

Time Stamp: [08:11]

Amanda Doyle begins by differentiating true pet peeves from what are essentially unacceptable behaviors. She explains that a pet peeve is "an idiosyncratic thing that annoys you," which may not bother others to the same extent. This personal lens means that while one person's irritation might be negligible to another, it holds significant weight for the individual experiencing it.

Notable Quote:

“A pet peeve is something that insults your soul... it's like a special gift that's been given just to you to protect your soul by giving you this thing that you hate.” – Amanda Doyle [09:31]

Common vs. Personal Pet Peeves

Time Stamp: [10:20]

The discussion shifts to universally common pet peeves, such as cracking knuckles, scraping plates with utensils, and people talking about themselves in the third person. The hosts identify these as widely recognized annoyances but acknowledge that their personal pet peeves often run deeper and are more specific.

Notable Quotes:

“People who talk about themselves in the third person.” – Amanda Doyle [10:41]
“It's literally raining cats and dogs. It is not, not in fact, literally raining cats and dogs.” – Abby Wambach [10:56]

Personal Pet Peeves Explored

Time Stamp: [13:40]

The hosts share their individual pet peeves, offering insight into their personalities and boundaries:

• Abby Wambach:
  Focuses on noise-related annoyances, such as excessively loud conversations in public spaces. Abby describes her sensitivity to noise as feeling "like I've been attacked by enemy fire," highlighting her struggle with highly sensitive person (HSP) traits.

  Notable Quote:

  “Anything that is silly or nonsensical or absurd is really helping me this year.” – Abby Wambach [05:13]

• Glennon Doyle:
  Expresses frustration with slow walkers and the disarray caused by others borrowing her belongings without proper care. Glennon emphasizes the importance of boundaries and the emotional toll of others' disregard for her personal space and items.

  Notable Quote:

  “It's so upsetting to me... Who don't look at the sink to see that?” – Glennon Doyle [31:14]

• Amanda Doyle:
  Highlights frustrations with passive-aggressive behaviors, such as people using "CC" in emails to subtly complain or involve others unnecessarily. She also mentions her annoyance with the phrase "I didn't have time," advocating for personal responsibility in time management.

  Notable Quote:

  “I feel like that's very the opposite of that whole meme. Like, Beyoncé has the same to 24 hours in a day as you have.” – Amanda Doyle [43:00]

The Impact of Pet Peeves on Relationships

Time Stamp: [22:46]

Abby and Glennon discuss how their differing sensitivities and pet peeves can create tension in their marriage. Abby's sensitivity to noise often clashes with Glennon's more carefree demeanor, leading to moments of silent frustration and mutual acceptance of each other's quirks.

Notable Quote:

“...we fight this invisible battle... and there's nothing we can do about it ever.” – Abby Wambach [52:11]

Strategies for Managing Pet Peeves

Time Stamp: [55:24]

The hosts brainstorm ways to mitigate the negative impact of their pet peeves. Glennon suggests that acknowledging and addressing these annoyances can lead to personal growth and better relationships. Abby introduces the idea of incorporating humor and proactive strategies, such as using humorous business cards to address loud callers or managing physical space to reduce annoyances.

Notable Quote:

“If someone is manspreading next to me on a plane, I will spend six hours on a flight spreading out as much as humanly possible.” – Abby Wambach [56:38]

Listener Engagement and Community Feedback

Time Stamp: [57:22]

The episode incorporates listener feedback, featuring Emily, a high school teacher, who shares her pet peeve about hyperbolic appreciation phrases like "teachers are superheroes." She emphasizes the need for tangible support and specific improvements rather than vague praise.

Notable Quote:

“If everyone said teachers should be paid $80,000, then actual change would happen.” – Emily [57:22]

Concluding Thoughts

Time Stamp: [55:57]

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the importance of understanding and accepting each other's pet peeves. They acknowledge that while these annoyances can create friction, embracing them is part of growing together in relationships. The episode closes with a call to action for listeners to share their own pet peeves and continue the conversation on fostering understanding and compassion within their communities.

Notable Quote:

“Instead of a little graphic that says teachers are superheroes and they should be paid a billion dollars... make a political call that actually states what teachers need.” – Glennon Doyle [58:21]

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Key Insights and Conclusions

1. Personal vs. Universal Annoyances:
   Pet peeves are deeply personal and can reveal much about one's values, boundaries, and sensitivities. While some annoyances are universally recognized, others are unique to an individual's experiences and personality.

2. Impact on Relationships:
   Understanding and respecting each other's pet peeves is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships. Open communication about these frustrations can lead to greater empathy and stronger bonds.

3. Coping Mechanisms:
   Embracing humor, setting clear boundaries, and finding proactive ways to address pet peeves can mitigate their negative impact and foster a more harmonious environment.

4. Community and Support:
   Sharing pet peeves within a community can lead to collective understanding and support, helping individuals feel less alone in their frustrations and more connected in addressing common annoyances.

5. Advocating for Change:
   Beyond personal annoyances, recognizing systemic issues (e.g., how we appreciate teachers) and advocating for tangible improvements can lead to meaningful societal change.

Takeaways for Listeners

• Self-Reflection:
  Identify your own pet peeves to understand what they reveal about your values and boundaries.

• Communication:
  Openly discuss your annoyances with loved ones to foster mutual understanding and respect.

• Acceptance:
  Embrace the fact that everyone has unique irritations and work towards accepting differences to build stronger relationships.

• Action:
  Turn frustrations into actionable steps that can improve not only your own well-being but also contribute positively to your community.

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Closing Note:
"We Can Do Hard Things" continues to inspire listeners to navigate life's challenges with honesty, compassion, and resilience. By openly discussing the things that annoy us, the hosts encourage a path toward living lighter, braver, and more connected lives.

Transcript

[Glennon Doyle]

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[Abby Wambach]

Welcome back to We Can Do Hard Things. Hello to our wonderful people.

[Glennon Doyle]

Hello. You know, I wasn't talking to you.

[Abby Wambach]

I was talking to the listeners.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh. Oh.

[Abby Wambach]

But also you.

[Glennon Doyle]

Do you want to know something that I found out today?

[Amanda Doyle]

Uh oh.

[Abby Wambach]

Uh oh.

[Glennon Doyle]

I think soft rock is my favorite kind of music.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh my God. Are you listening to that new soft rock station? Who put it on the car?

[Glennon Doyle]

I don't know. Somebody found it and I every song, I'm like, oh, yeah, let's go.

[Abby Wambach]

Yesterday I was driving Emma home from school. Papa don't preach. Cameron, he says that he's going to.

[Amanda Doyle]

Marry me and we can raise a little family. Yes.

[Abby Wambach]

I mean, so good. I'm so glad you're digging it. What else has come up?

[Glennon Doyle]

Well, you know, I can't. I can't remember any songs or anything that just happened other than the moment I'm in right now. So I was just in the car five minutes ago and I was singing to a lovely song.

[Abby Wambach]

You don't know what it was.

[Glennon Doyle]

Uh.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, honey, speaking of Papa Don't Preach.

[Amanda Doyle]

Do you remember when we used to get together with all the cousins in Ohio and we would do. We would do talent shows and do you please remember the year that we decided to pick Like a Virgin for our to perform for? We were like 7 and 8 and 9 and we had no idea what the hell it meant. But we came down, all of the aunts, all of the uncles, my very grandparents, very Irish Catholic grandmother waited for us and we came down and fully performed Like a virgin, touched for the very first time, like. And do you remember the move her, Jen?

[Abby Wambach]

Yes, I remember the move. I remember we'd all put out our left hand and go. Touched for the very first time and touch our arm back and forth. Oh, we were. We were amazing. Yeah. Dance. Yeah. And do you remember the faces? Their faces, they just were like stone faced, just staring at us.

[Amanda Doyle]

I was like, wow, we are really impressive.

[Abby Wambach]

They are speechless. Speechless. Blowing their minds.

[Glennon Doyle]

So, yeah, that was my like 2 cents for today.

[Abby Wambach]

Thank you, babe.

[Glennon Doyle]

Random thoughts.

[Abby Wambach]

Soft rock for all.

[Amanda Doyle]

Which is a good segue because I feel like soft rock might be a lot of people's.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes. Yes.

[Glennon Doyle]

Ooh.

[Abby Wambach]

So we are in this year of our Lord 2022. We have decided for us. You do you. But we have decided for us that 2022 so far is the year where we just. We're out of giddy up.

[Amanda Doyle]

We're out of all.

[Abby Wambach]

We're all fresh out of giddy up. We are. We are no longer Rosie the Riveters. We are no longer full of resilience. We used all that up. And so this is the year where we survive by going largely dead inside.

[Amanda Doyle]

It's an army crawl. A full on. It was a Go get em cowgirls and now it's just an army crawl inch by inch.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

You know, it's that thing that you see on the interwebs where it's just like people ask you how you are and you just gesture vaguely. Yeah, I love the gesture vaguely tweets just at everything. Just so we have though, figured out that there's one vibe of 2022 that we can embrace and that might save us. And that is absurdity. Okay. I think that I am, like, punch drunk in the. Like, I'm. I'm dead inside. I don't care about much. But then, like, my kid falls in the kitchen, like, down on the ground. Now, that will get me through an entire hour. Like, anything that is silly or nonsensical or absurd is really helping me this year. And that's what we're gonna embrace. Okay, so to that end, this week we decided to put out to you an episode full of joy and love and positivity and absurdity about the things that piss us off. Okay.

[Glennon Doyle]

I have. I don't know if I've been as excited to record a podcast.

[Abby Wambach]

Really?

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah, there's just something about saying the things out loud that makes me very excited. Okay, this is part of the absurdity of 2022. No, no, no.

[Abby Wambach]

About me.

[Glennon Doyle]

No, it's nothing that you don't know. Something that I don't haven't said. But it's just, like, it's fun to talk about the shit that pisses us off.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. Pet peeves.

[Glennon Doyle]

So fun.

[Amanda Doyle]

Because I feel like right now, I mean, we do this whole thing where we talk about the super hard legit things, like, oh, we need to talk about these deep pains. And naming them is helpful, but we feel like these little peevish things that just annoy us are our little problems. But I think naming them and having other people be like, yes, because we are all on the solitary last nerve. It's like we had all the nerves.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes.

[Amanda Doyle]

The camel was unburdened. And now after two years of Pandemi the camel, it's too much straw and the nerves are one. And so this is why right now, it's like, we could take. We could take 18 months of the people in our house slurping up their cereal, but on the 19th month, it's done. Now it is done. We are finished.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, well, because. And we also cared about. The reason we didn't say anything or lose our shit before is because we still cared about making it through. Well, like, we felt like if there's an end line, we could. We were gonna have our moment where it was gonna be over and people would look at us in our family and say, wow, you did it good. You were an angel in the house. Like, you just good and faithful servant.

[Amanda Doyle]

You have done this.

[Glennon Doyle]

What a love warrior you were.

[Abby Wambach]

But now we've realized that's not gonna happen. We don't even see an end line. So we no longer care what people think of us in our home. Like, we just wanna Stop hating everybody. So we're gonna do what it takes to make the things stop that bother us. Okay? So, right.

[Amanda Doyle]

Every woman for themselves in the house now.

[Abby Wambach]

Everybody for themselves. So today we're talking about pet peeves, okay? And so a pet peeve, it's something that annoys the hell out of you, but the pet part of it is, like, it's particular. You believe at least that it's particular to you. It's something that insults your soul. The Whitman thing, Like, it deeply insults your own soul, but you're not sure that anyone else's soul is insulted by it. It's like a talent or like a special gift that's been given just to you to protect your soul by. By. By giving you this thing that you hate right. About the world or other people. Do you feel that's correct about what a pet peeve is?

[Amanda Doyle]

I do. This is why I think it's confusing, because if you research it, there's all of these things that are categorized as pet peeves that are actually just suboptimal behaviors. Like. Like not acceptable behaviors. Like talking with your mouth full, you know, staring at people. Like, I don't think these are appropriately categorized as pet peeves because it's just, like, people stop doing that. Like, a pet peeve is some idiosyncratic thing that annoys you, and that might not annoy other people to the extent it annoys you. So it. It has something to do with you specifically where. And. Whereas somebody else's pet peeve might not bother you at all.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, so what are, like. What are pet peeves that are super general to all of us? So we get into the specific specifics of ours.

[Amanda Doyle]

So common ones are, you know, cracking knuckles, scraping a plate with a fork and knife. Like, that sound. The sound of Styrofoam against Styrofoam.

[Glennon Doyle]

Ooh, yeah, I don't like that one.

[Amanda Doyle]

People who talk about themselves in the third person.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, Glennon hates that. Yeah.

[Amanda Doyle]

Overuse of literally, like, it's literally raining cats and dogs. It is not. Not, in fact, literally raining cats and dogs.

[Abby Wambach]

Everyone in this house literally does that every four seconds. When did literally start. Was it the Kardashians? Like, who did literally to us?

[Amanda Doyle]

I don't know.

[Glennon Doyle]

Literally.

[Abby Wambach]

Actually, I'm literally falling apart right now. Like, I'm literally. My insides are literally on fire. Okay.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yeah, it's your. Like, it's actually means directly the opposite of that, what you're trying to say. So slow walkers, losing socks in the dryer, you know, talking to People, while you still have your AirPods in. People do not like this. People not standing to the right side of the escalator, the sound of slurping. You know, things like this, these are. And then there's this whole other category of things that people call their pet peeves. But I think we're just giving humanity like a little too low of a bar to call these pet peeves. I think we should Levy would say just do better world. Because things like saying no offense right before you say something offensive. No, do better or better.

[Glennon Doyle]

Right.

[Amanda Doyle]

Or after. Or after.

[Abby Wambach]

Right.

[Amanda Doyle]

Standing too close to people, being a close talker. Clipping your nails in public, interrupting being late. What? People who don't pick up after their dog receiving a non apology.

[Glennon Doyle]

Hold on, I gotta go back to the clipping your nails in public that's a thing.

[Amanda Doyle]

It's a thing that people say is a pet peeve of theirs. Any self grooming in public.

[Glennon Doyle]

People do not everyone's clipping their nails in public.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, so I do think that there's. This is a distinct difference. Because saying that's my pet peeve. That people give a non apology is taking responsibility for something that is actually everyone else's responsibility. Like that's not a pet peeve. That's just like wisdom.

[Amanda Doyle]

Right? It's just like we're trying to have a civilization here. People stop doing these things.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, like we understand it wasn't written down like you didn't get a contract that said we the people, in order to form a less disgusting union, will not clip our fricking nails in public. But we just thought it was understood, right? So like dude on the train. Sorry, it's just my pet peeve that people don't clip their toenails next to me. Like no, do better.

[Amanda Doyle]

Right. So that's why we're not talking really about those today because we just insist upon a higher standard of the union. But it's the little things that say something more about you that bothers you and other people's behavior.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, so. Okay, I can talk about some of my biggest personal pet peeve category. Do you want me to start?

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah, I can't wait.

[Abby Wambach]

Well, I think you would know what it is.

[Glennon Doyle]

I know everything. I know everything. And I know all of these things are relating specifically to me also.

[Abby Wambach]

No, no, that's not true. All of these things annoyed me long before you.

[Glennon Doyle]

Okay, that's good.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay. You just kind of embodied them all in me. No, baby, I'm joking. Okay, so what I have thought about for the last Bit in. In trying to figure out what my pet peeves are is that they have a category. Most of my pet peeves have to do with sound.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

It's like loudness. Like, people who, for no reason, just speak in a voice that is so loud in general, first of all, it's just. I don't understand. Like, no one's told them that everyone's close and can hear. Okay, so general loudness.

[Glennon Doyle]

What if they're just trying to get their point across.

[Abby Wambach]

Public spaces where people have no auditorial yield? Like, I just feel like when we are in public spaces, again, we have gotten this memo about forming a more perfect union where we are going to kind of understand that we're not going to use voices that encroach upon other people's space.

[Glennon Doyle]

But you're saying public. You're in public. No, this is a public space.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, well, you know, you're not allowed to scream fire in public. You're not allowed to, like. Okay, you're not allowed to just walk up to me and smack me. But when you stand next to me with your damn FaceTime or your effing speakerphone and you have a conversation about your business, like, your business is the most important thing on earth, and you are almost always a man, and you are speaking so freaking loudly next to me, it is as if you have auditorially slapped me.

[Glennon Doyle]

Okay, remember the guy that.

[Abby Wambach]

That was noise pollution.

[Glennon Doyle]

The guy that you. You were having a FaceTime call in public, and he was having a FaceTime call in public,. And he was yelling. He was properly yelling on the phone.

[Abby Wambach]

Well, no, I was hiding in a corner in the hotel.

[Glennon Doyle]

And you asked him, you said, could you please, you know, could you please be a little more quiet? We're doing the same thing. And he just goes, I was here first.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

And he wasn't. And then he stayed. He got louder and louder and louder to prove a point to me. Just, like, doing all of his faults.

[Glennon Doyle]

What a jerk. I was here first.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. So anyway, I mean, it is like noise pollution.

[Amanda Doyle]

It's like, say someone came and was and, like, had a bunch of their stuff, and then they just. They just, like, threw it.

[Abby Wambach]

Threw it at you.

[Amanda Doyle]

It's like. It's like, you're not allowed to throw your trash at someone's person, but you can throw your noise all over other people's experiences.

[Glennon Doyle]

It's weird.

[D]

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[Glennon Doyle]

That's something I can't understand.

[Abby Wambach]

So that I have a freaking heart attack every time their car drives by. I I, it is as if I have to recover. And it's like, did your did you not get enough attention as a child? Like, what, why with the loud cars?

[Glennon Doyle]

What about the noise upsets you?

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, well why is it upsetting? Well, because I no judgment.

[Glennon Doyle]

Like why is it upsetting?

[Abby Wambach]

Well, I mean, I think that there are some people who are probably more highly sensitive to noise. Right. I'm clearly always been a highly sensitive person. So noise makes me, I mean, you know when, when you sneeze or when the doorbell rings.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

It is as if I have been attacked by enemy fire. Like my body doesn't know how to. I can break out in a cold sweat. You know that I know. Terrifying to me.

[Glennon Doyle]

I've gotten the look like I've actually hurt you after I've just done something my body naturally does. She looks at me with death eyes and I'm like, I'm sorry. I, I and also it's a sneeze. I can't warn you. Just happens like there's no warning. Hey, babe, I'm about to sneeze. You know, do you know another person?

[Amanda Doyle]

It's another reason why I think your, your kind of like FaceTime and speaker phone conversations in public. Why it's universally annoying to a lot of people. They did studies of this where the it, it's the fact that your brain's job is to have closure on things. Your brain can't like shut off that conversation. They call it a half a log. Your brain is hearing half of the conversation. And first of all, you're annoyed that it is intruded on your space. But now your brain is doing the work of figuring out like, whoa, is he being rude to that person or what are they negotiating or what is happening over there? And your brain is trying to figure it out.

[Glennon Doyle]

And.

[Amanda Doyle]

But you're not getting all the information. And so it frustrates your brain. And that leads to.

[Abby Wambach]

Wow.

[Amanda Doyle]

To another level of annoyance that makes.

[Abby Wambach]

Sense to me because I'm such an internal person. So I'm always thinking things through. I'm not. I'm not really in the outside world anyway. I'm internal. So when you come in and with all your noise, it's like you've entered my brain.

[Glennon Doyle]

You've interrupted.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, you've interrupted me. Even though I'm by myself and not speaking to anyone, you have completely interrupted me. Right.

[Amanda Doyle]

So it's like Ed co opted my brain. Like, now you're giving my brain a job to do that my brain didn't have before. Now I have to figure out, you know, I don't know, are they gonna get through this? Is this a breakup? It's gonna happen right now. And I have to. Now I'm. My brain is involved in what you're doing.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes, my brain is involved in your business call. And I do just feel like there's something that insults my soul also about it. Like, you really don't see anyone else around you, right? Like the fact that you like on a plane. And then the dude is having. He's using his outside voice to have a business call. He actually believes this is the most important thing. Not to him, but to everyone else in this cabin. There's just something that really.

[Amanda Doyle]

Well, it's like vocal manspreading.

[Abby Wambach]

It's like you're taking focal manspreading, and then it turns into a hostage situation, and we're all in a hostage situation. And you know what else bothers me is that we all have agreed that we will just all be uncomfortable and annoyed, but we won't interrupt it. Interrupt the guy who's interrupting all of us. We won't say to him, dude, are you effing kidding me? We just all have to suffer silently. So mine category of pet peeve is sound boundaries, which I'm going to now call soundaries.

[Glennon Doyle]

For however long we have been knowing each other and together and married, this is. This is the thing, right? This is your thing. And so I wonder. And. And I, I actually. This is an honest question. This is not like trying to be snarky in any way.

[Abby Wambach]

Right.

[Glennon Doyle]

Is there any part of this that is your responsibility to train your brain to not be interrupted?

[Abby Wambach]

I don't know if I can not be interrupted, but I fully believe that my obsession with quiet is a slice of insanity on this earth that I Am living on with other people and machines.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yes, I hear you. I do understand that. But because it's so problematic for you in your life, in almost every public arena, and even in your private life living with me, is there then a cause to, like, let's try and work on maybe not having this thing affect you in such a negative way. Is there a way that we can work on loud noises not being so interruptive to you in your brain? I wonder.

[Abby Wambach]

I would love that. I'm not against progress.

[Glennon Doyle]

Okay.

[Abby Wambach]

And I also would love to have peace, and I would love to not be so upset by noise. What do you think, babe? What's your pet peeve?

[Amanda Doyle]

Is it having to hold in sneezes?

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah, having to hold in sneezes. That's not just a. That's not a pet peeve. That's just painful. Okay. So I've got a couple. Number one, like, slow walkers. Like, anybody doing walking slow. I don't get it.

[Abby Wambach]

I have to text her in airports sometimes because she's so far ahead of me that I can't.

[Glennon Doyle]

It's nothing I can do about it.

[Abby Wambach]

She can't hear me, so I have to text her and say, I'm back here. I've stopped for a coffee.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah. Or just like, in general. Anybody kind of doing things at a snail's pace.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[Glennon Doyle]

I know. But the bigger one, I think, for me isn't necessarily, like, sound barriers or boundaries. It's just overall, like, my stuff.

[Abby Wambach]

Ah, yes.

[Glennon Doyle]

You know, being the youngest of. Of seven kids, I don't like it when people, like, for instance, Emma just came into my room this morning, and she's like, can I borrow your tweezers? And I was like, you know what? Just have them.

[Abby Wambach]

Because it's so sad to have hope that she's gonna return them.

[Glennon Doyle]

I've. I've got two here. And I. I don't wanna be upset because I know that those tweezers are gonna come back and there's gonna be, like, a little ding in one of them.

[Abby Wambach]

If they even come back.

[Glennon Doyle]

If they come. They never come back. What am I kidding? Like, I got to go search for them. So just, like, you just take it. Borrowing my clothes. Because I know that nobody will take care of those clothes quite like me. And when it comes back, I see. I'm just doing it to protect people because. Because I know that nobody. Like, if somebody gives me something of mine back and it is dirty or less than, I'm pissed at that person.

[Amanda Doyle]

Right.

[Abby Wambach]

So you're Protecting your relationship. That's actually very good boundarying.

[Glennon Doyle]

I'm like annoying.

[Amanda Doyle]

I'm like, I get this. You know, I do that with people and information. There's so many people who say things to their, to their friend that they know can't keep a secret. And then they say, please don't share this with anyone. And then of course, because everybody knows that that friend can't keep a secret, they then do disclose it. And then you're mad at them. But I'm like, right, you, you should be mad at you. Yes. You gave that friend information that they could not handle. That's on you.

[Glennon Doyle]

That's right.

[Abby Wambach]

It was your self control problem. You knew what you were getting into. So you're protecting. Because our family doesn't have any boundaries with things. Nobody. I have not taught that.

[Glennon Doyle]

Zero.

[Abby Wambach]

No, we just walk into each other's shit and just grab things and like.

[Glennon Doyle]

For all the step parents out there or the bonus parents, like we call it, like that's a thing. Like that was hard for me to, to like get used to at first when the kids started to like actually like me, there was like a lack of boundaries with body. Like the way that they crawl on you and the way that they use your shit without ever asking and then the way that like parasites. Yeah. I just couldn't understand it. I was like, no, this is adult stuff. Like this is an adult shirt. You're not allowed to wear an adult shirt.

[Abby Wambach]

Our children walk into our room, they get in our bed, they get out of our bed, they go into our closet, they go through our crowd. I've never ever taught stuff boundaries.

[Glennon Doyle]

I mean, the middle of the night, bed sleeping. I didn't get this. I mean, I came in ammo is 8, so I get it more with her. But Tish was 10, Chase was 13. And like there were times where like all three of them were in our bedroom sleeping. Somewhere on the floor, somewhere in the bed. And I'm just like, I guess this is what life is.

[Amanda Doyle]

No.

[Glennon Doyle]

Like not only are the boundaries of my personal shit gone, like the boundaries of space and stuff. And like, you know, I don't know.

[Abby Wambach]

And Abby has cool clothes, so. And they fit our kids. So everybody at our. I will look around the dinner table at night and every single person at the table, including Craig, we'll have Abby's shit on.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah, that's something.

[Amanda Doyle]

So do you think that that was a gradual? Because when you put it like that, that sounds crazy. But then I feel like. I feel like for people who maybe were with the baby since they were born. It's just a gradual breaking down of any kind of dignity or personal integrity or any idea that stuff is sacred or anything belongs to you.

[Glennon Doyle]

I had dignity. I came in with dignity.

[Abby Wambach]

Do you feel like you still have it, like. Or have you gone dead inside about it?

[Glennon Doyle]

No, it's gone.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay.

[Glennon Doyle]

Gone.

[Abby Wambach]

That's good.

[Glennon Doyle]

I mean, literally, Tish. Tish wore a sweatshirt. She came. I mean, luckily, now they know it pisses me off so much that they at least ask before they take, like, something that they know that I like or.

[Abby Wambach]

I just got, like, her favorite thing.

[Glennon Doyle]

Like, my new favorite sweatshirt I just got. She's like, can I wear this? And I'm like, fine. She's like, thank you.

[Abby Wambach]

It is one of your things, and it makes perfect sense. As the youngest of seven and not going through the. The. The slippery slope of loss of dignity with coming in late to parenting.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

And you want the things put back, just put where they belong.

[Glennon Doyle]

And also, there's a little nugget here. I'm gonna digress. The little thing that's just, like, me, personal, I think.

[Abby Wambach]

Are you gonna talk about the sink.

[Amanda Doyle]

Glenn? It was really leaning into the borrowing because it didn't affect her.

[Glennon Doyle]

Okay. So the sink that we have. The sink that we've always had, the sink that all people have. The sink that all people have has a hole. Some sinks have a disposal thing that, you know, you get to wash the food down, and then you press a button or you flip a switch, and the disposal, you know, it gets all of the spoons. Disposal, Disposal.

[Amanda Doyle]

It's like. It's a garbage. You know, that.

[Abby Wambach]

Wait.

[Glennon Doyle]

Disposal.

[Abby Wambach]

A disposal.

[Glennon Doyle]

I think. I think I call it a disposal disposal. It disposes all.

[Abby Wambach]

No, all food.

[Glennon Doyle]

And my family seems to think that the. The disposal is just for when food goes down the drain, not to rinse food that is in. On the bottom of the sink. Dishes need to get done by the folks in our family. The way we do it, the dish folks are the ones who have not done anything to cook the food right?

[Abby Wambach]

So I don't cook dishes.

[Glennon Doyle]

I go sit down, and I get to play on my phone for 10 lovely minutes by myself after dinner. And almost every single time, I walk back into the kitchen to get my tea, and I look down the bottom of the sink, and there is all of what was left on everyone's plate that night at dinner on the bottom of the sink.

[Amanda Doyle]

It has been disposed none.

[Abby Wambach]

I repeat, it's a dispose. None.

[Glennon Doyle]

It's a disposed. None. Sink. And it's so upsetting, the kind of rage. I'm like, the job is not finished.

[Abby Wambach]

You have given entire speeches.

[Glennon Doyle]

First of all, when you finish your job of, let's say you rinse the stuff off in the sink and then you put your dish in the dishwasher. Who doesn't look in the sink? Like, what kind of a person do you have to be to not look at the sink to see that? Because guess what happens? That food dries on the bottom of that sink.

[Abby Wambach]

Right? Okay. So this is your pet peeve is the bottom of the sink.

[Glennon Doyle]

It's so upsetting to me.

[Abby Wambach]

Right. I just want to explain one thing to you that I feel in the house that I have sort of a theory of work, okay. And I call that in my heart and mind. I call it the 9010. Okay. I start big projects. I do really a lot of things you do, but I start them, I organize, I putter, I do all the things, but I really get tired at the end, okay? So what I feel like is if I'm starting a project in the house, that I can take it to 90%. I can take it to 90%, but then I'm gonna leave the extra 10. So, like, if there's gonna be.

[Glennon Doyle]

That's what we're teaching our children.

[Abby Wambach]

There's gonna be boxes in the hallway that need to go out to the thing, to the garage, or there's gonna be trash bags that need to go out to the trash, or there's gonna be some food at the bottom of the sink. But what I want is for my partner to come look at that 10% and say, wow, she did 90%.

[Glennon Doyle]

I actually don't mind when you start a big project and all, like, you're.

[Abby Wambach]

You're.

[Glennon Doyle]

Because that makes you happy. And also not having to finish something is. That feels like an actual gift, an act of service that I can do for you.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay.

[Glennon Doyle]

Like, that's something that I love.

[Abby Wambach]

Because I'm a starter and you're a finisher.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yes. However, this theory, if. If applied to your soundaries, it would be like 10% of the time. I just, like, knowingly ignore the thing that pisses you off the most. And I don't knowingly do that.

[Amanda Doyle]

I also feel like the 90% rule, the I'm a non finisher rule, should only apply to tasks that take longer than 30 minutes.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay.

[Amanda Doyle]

Okay. I don't feel like a huge closet organization. Great. Non finisher rule. I'm gonna leave all this crap around here because I've done my contribution. But the non finisher rule cannot apply to the 10 minute cleanup after dinner.

[Glennon Doyle]

I just feel like actually no such a career. Here's what we're actually talking about, sister. It is not a 10 minute situation. This is a five second deal. This is grabbing the sprayer.

[Amanda Doyle]

Mm.

[Glennon Doyle]

Turning the faucet on, spraying water for five seconds, turning it off, and their job is done.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, so finishing, not putting in effort is really pisses you off because you also, I would say another of your pet peeves is when we're watching the sports.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, don't get me started on people who jog places.

[Abby Wambach]

Right?

[Glennon Doyle]

You don't ever take a fucking play or moment off. Like ever. To me, that's like character.

[Abby Wambach]

When someone is not showing their best hustle. Yeah, she stands up off the couch, gets very close to the television and makes us watch the person over and over and over again. She rewinds, watch, rewinds. That guy. That guy.

[Glennon Doyle]

Did you see it?

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, y'all. So I often have to make these presentations to show the kind of work that we do to partners or people outside of our business. That was always very tricky for me because I didn't know what the hell I was doing until Allison, our wonderful team member, taught me about Canva. Canva is a platform that helps you simply and easily make presentations that are beautiful and simple and easy even for someone like me without any design experience. You start with this stunning template and then you can drag and drop graphics, add eye catching charts, and incorporate animation even to really make your slides stand out. And what's even better is that if you're short on time, you can generate slides and text in seconds with a prompt, keeping you on task without juggling multiple apps. And if you're working with the team, collaboration is a breeze. You'll love the presentations you can easily design with Canva. Your audience will too. Love your work with canva [e-mail] this.

[Glennon Doyle]

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[Abby Wambach]

Sissy, what do you think? What is your category? If Abby's no hustle, I her pet peeve is no hustle. My pet peeve is no yield. If you're not yielding auditorially, if you're not yielding on the street, if you're not yielding in spirit, you insult myself.

[Glennon Doyle]

It's almost like we're opposites.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yeah, almost like you're opposites. I have some common ones. Like, like, even thinking right now about chalk makes me want to, like, it hurts my teeth.

[Abby Wambach]

Why does it hurt our teeth?

[Amanda Doyle]

I don't know. I don't know. It's very upsetting. Right now I can't hold chalk. I was never able to do sidewalk chalk with my kids. I'm like, I. No, thank you very much. Of course, like, loud, chewing, all the things. Then I have ones that I don't know if they're ones that bother people, but, like, people who stand too close to the baggage claim when it's coming around. I don't understand that. Why do we need to crowd the baggage claim? We could all just stand around. We could all see the bags, we could all go forward when our bags come and take them away. But instead we're all, like, jostling for front row seats on the baggage claim. I don't understand that. Say we're doing dinner and then the dinner's all ready, and then we have some delay because, of course we have 1400 delays every time someone's going to wash their hands. That takes 15 minutes. And then. And then now it's time to eat and the, like, beautiful prepared meal is now cold and my darling husband will just take it and eat It. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.

[Abby Wambach]

That's.

[Amanda Doyle]

That's cold now. And he's like, it's fine. And that insults my soul because I'm like, this is supposed to be a warm meal. We just made a warm meal. We have hot machines right there in our house. We could just put it in the hot machine and then eat it as God intended it. And he's like, yeah, it's fine. And I don't. I don't understand.

[Glennon Doyle]

I don't understand that he's trying to be polite. And also, he's like, in from a big family. Like, we. We ate lukewarm food forever.

[Abby Wambach]

But also, sorry, no. No hustle, no yield. You're no fine. You don't like fine. Don't give sister fine.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yeah, that is one of my best.

[Abby Wambach]

Don't give peace. Fine.

[Amanda Doyle]

Fine. People saying fine about anything. How. How is it? It's fine. You might as well say, you are just average and barely fine. Makes you, like, throw up in my mouth. Just the word yes.

[Abby Wambach]

Any version of. Of acceptance, of mediocrity, of not caring.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, no, no.

[Abby Wambach]

Of fineness. Is your. In any form. Is your pet peeve? Is one of your big pets categories, your categories.

[Amanda Doyle]

I also have another totally random one that. I don't know. It's weird, but the. The phrase, I didn't have time. I didn't have time to do that. I didn't have time to get to that. This one has always, always bothered me. And I don't. I just feel like it's not intellectually honest because there's no having of the time. There's just spending of the time. And we choose what we spend our time on. And I want to say very clearly that, like, I. This is the opposite of that whole meme. Like, Beyonce has the same to 24 hours in a day as you have. Like, no, no, she doesn't. Like, that's completely ableist and classist and shaming and ridiculous. Like, I realize that I have the resources of, you know, a professional woman who cleans my house, a professional therapist who cleans my brain, a very involved partner, a mom down the street who is there for any emergencies. Like, I don't have the same amount of time as somebody else. I have more of it. And maybe passivity is kind of my kryptonite too. It's like mediocrity and passivity. I feel like not just saying I don't have time is basically suggesting that time will either arrive and giveth unto you, or it will not. But, but, but that's not how time works. So for me, I don't say it because it allows me to actually realign my values. Like it's either I haven't made time or I haven't prioritized that yet or I'm going to invest the time next week in that or that's not a priority for me. It gives me the agency of it to not suggest that like, oh, there's just a dearth of time and I am expected to do all of this and I can't. It's like, no, you can do whatever within your resources as they are for any given person. Just do with your time what you place the highest and best value on.

[Abby Wambach]

Yep.

[Amanda Doyle]

That's not to say that you should maximize every bit of time. That's the opposite of what I'm saying. I perfectly respect people who are saying I invested a lot of time this week in my family, I'm prioritizing my kids practices. I'm gonna make time for that next week. I respect that more because you're saying, you're claiming what your time is. I just wanna clarify that. I'm not saying optimize and make your time most efficient. It's like actually be honest about what you're doing and in fact nobody has time for everything, so. But you. But you are making time and you're investing times time in other.

[Abby Wambach]

Yep, I get that. What else? Do you have any other ones to see?

[Amanda Doyle]

I mean, I really don't like a passive aggressive CC on an email. Do you ever notice that where people think they're like telling on you or something by CCing someone on the email and you're like, nope, nopity, nope, we're not doing that here.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, passive aggressive cc. Yes, I have experienced those and I'm sure I have done those. Yes, yes, yes.

[Amanda Doyle]

Oh, done those. Okay, let's talk about the things that we do that are annoying to other people. I know. I have a shit ton of things that are so annoying.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, well what are some of them?

[Amanda Doyle]

I have a lot of them. I ask questions incessantly during TV shows and movies.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh my God, that's a freaking. That's illegal.

[Abby Wambach]

Actually, I do know that about you. We don't. You, we barely ever watch TV with you because you are, you know, trying not to be mediocre. And so I pretend when you're with me that I don't watch TV all day, which is what I actually do. You know, I'm obsessed with reality TV and I've tried to Watch it with you. And it is, it's so awful. You can't understand. You can't understand what they're doing. You can't accept the housewives for who they are to ask me questions as if any of it's logical. Why is she doing that? Why is she screaming? Why? Why is she behaving?

[Glennon Doyle]

Who is so and so?

[Abby Wambach]

Why does she dress that way? What do you mean, why? We don't ask why. The Real Housewives are not to ask why too.

[Glennon Doyle]

And Also, you're not 10, right?

[Abby Wambach]

Just keep thinking. Just be quiet and keep thinking and just keep reading. You know, like when you read and you just keep reading and you get context, I, Yeah.

[Amanda Doyle]

It makes John want to stab his eyes out. He, of course, he's just, he looks at me like, I, I can't believe. I can't believe I love you. You're horrible. You're horrible. I can't, I don't know why. I can't stop. I'm like, do you think she's really gonna. They're not gonna let her die in this movie, are they? I, I can't. I, I, I all the time can't stop asking. I also do this very annoying thing where I sit, say in a very passive aggressive way, like, we should do X. You know, like, we need to take out the recycling. We need to. But I 100%, for sure mean I would like you to.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. Or even more you. You mean why the hell haven't you yet? That's what you mean.

[Amanda Doyle]

But I think if I say we. Oh, God, it's so bad. I, yeah, I do that. And then, oh, I am late and I, I view my lateness.

[Glennon Doyle]

Why?

[Amanda Doyle]

Because I chronically, I start going places later than I should.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, now that is intellectually honest. Thank you.

[Amanda Doyle]

But I always in my head am like, oh, that was situational. Oh, my God, can you believe. Except that every single time it takes me 20% longer than I give myself. But then I act like that 20% is a complete fucking surprise every time.

[Abby Wambach]

That's interesting. I would say that.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah. What are yours?

[Abby Wambach]

I think it's interesting that you have lateness as one of your annoying things. And lateness to me is a pet peeve.

[Amanda Doyle]

Oh, no, it's not. It's like a phobia of yours. It's like a deeply rooted scary thing for you.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, it's very upsetting to me. And I think it's because of my addiction years because I was so, didn't show up for so much and I disappointed so Many people that I'm being late now, it really triggers something in me.

[Glennon Doyle]

Well, either way, it's the right way to live.

[Abby Wambach]

Well, except that it's also. I have learned from a lot of people that like being supremely annoyed about other people's lateness, it actually has a lot of ableism in it. There's a lot of issues related to neurodiversity that lead to lateness. And also that there's a lot of, like, capitalistic patriarchal whiteness. And, like, everyone has to be aunt. It's very, like, American. And you know, all of that. I actually asked. We polled our family last night about what is the most annoying things that we do. Yeah, we asked our kids. And I think it's interesting that what you said to me about the most annoying thing about me is how easily annoyed I get that, like, actually having so many things that disturbed me is the most disturbing thing about me.

[Amanda Doyle]

Because that's awesome.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. Because it's. It's like, first of all, just annoying. But there's, like, a serious thing about it, which I think that probably anybody who lives with somebody with anxiety or deals with the ripple effects of that, which is that it affects the whole family's experience all the time. Because everyone's feeling, like, in public places, they have to, like, protect this person, or they are now hypersensitive of everyone's volume and everyone's. Because this person has rippled their anxiety into the rest of the family. So I think being so easily annoyed is something that is annoying.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah. And by the way, I just want to, like, make sure the pod squatters know that. That Glenn and I talk at, at length about this, and this is something she also understands and accepts as part of who she is. I'm not trying to, like, point to and get her and point something out.

[Amanda Doyle]

Although we should do an episode like that.

[Abby Wambach]

I love, like, surprise Attack.

[Glennon Doyle]

Glennon's sensitivity is one of the things that I love about her the most. And it's also. It makes it the hardest in moments to, like, live with her. And I would bet our family feels that way. But I'm not attacking you. I think that this is who you are, and I have to come to accept this about you. But sometimes it's just like when a sports game is on and I scream because there was a play. There was this moment that was amazing, and I'm like, oh, my gosh.

[Abby Wambach]

And I'm on the floor in the kitchen, like. Like, how are we being attacked? Are there. Are the kids okay?

[Glennon Doyle]

And then you realize like, this is sports. This is things. So we have this, like, there's a moment in time where we're. We fight this, like, invisible battle, I suppose that is like, I'm doing the right thing. And also you're doing the right thing. And it's just a good thing.

[Abby Wambach]

It's marriage. It's like, oh, here we are again, where you're being you and I'm being me, and there's nothing we can do about it ever. That's right. And there's like, no, there's no point of saying sorry.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

Because nobody's freaking changing.

[Glennon Doyle]

Right.

[Abby Wambach]

Like, if we love each other madly, if we could have, we would have for each other. No. Abby's going to keep being loud and. And surprising. I am going to keep being ridiculously sensitive about that loudness and surprises, and we're just going to keep staring at each other forever. Just being like, here we are again. You being you, me being me.

[Glennon Doyle]

And I think accepting that moment. Right, like that. That invisible irkness, that invisible moment where we're both like, I can't believe, like, accepting like, oh, that is who you are.

[Abby Wambach]

What's your annoying thing?

[Glennon Doyle]

Well, I'm pretty perfect.

[Abby Wambach]

Can we talk about sneezing?

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah. So the sneezing, the loudness, the sneezing and the coughing that I don't. First of all, I don't muzzle or mute myself. You're unyielding quite like the way that you would want. And I sometimes forget to cover my mouth.

[Abby Wambach]

I just want.

[Amanda Doyle]

This is a very common one, but I. I suggest it goes on the do better list, not on the pet peeves list.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah, this is. This is right. This is right.

[Abby Wambach]

I am a former preschool and third grade teacher, and I know that everyone gets taught that everyone, we, the people, in order to form a less virusy union, freaking put our arms over our mouths when we sneeze as an act of service.

[Glennon Doyle]

But, babe, now you too could be a patriot.

[Amanda Doyle]

Abby.

[Glennon Doyle]

Exactly. The masks. Now I'm just like, I'm good. I'm just like. I just cover the sides, make sure.

[Abby Wambach]

It doesn't come out to be fair. But have you always done that? Or did you, before our marriage, feel like it was okay just to sneeze out loud in a room?

[Glennon Doyle]

I felt like it was fine.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. And it's.

[Glennon Doyle]

I know it's not. I know my mind. It's not. But I also. The sneeze comes at me quick and powerfully.

[Abby Wambach]

I just want to say at the end of this pet peeve conversation.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah. How Are you feeling. You pissed at me?

[Abby Wambach]

No, I just love you so much.

[Glennon Doyle]

I love you too.

[Abby Wambach]

Thanks. And I know you're going to be Abby, and I'm going to be glad, and sister's going to be sister Sister.

[Glennon Doyle]

And this is the way that we continue moving forward in our marriage is just like the, you know, because the beginning parts of relationships, it's just like, oh, my gosh, everything is so new and you're amazing, and then it turns into deeper loving and all the things. And then it's just like, basically we just gotta accept each other.

[Abby Wambach]

Well. And don't you think that the thing that. That attracts you to each other is like, I'm sure that one of the things that attracted me to you was your, like, living largeness was yours. Taking up space was your boldness. And that's what drew me to mute. Okay, so what is our next right thing?

[Glennon Doyle]

I don't know.

[Abby Wambach]

Tell us your pet peeves. Yeah, I want to hear from the Pod Squad what your pet peeves are.

[Glennon Doyle]

And I think the next right thing isn't just that. I think it also needs to be about what are we doing, because we know we. Having said these pet peeves out loud, I think that now it's like, oh, is there a way I can kind of lessen the ones that are. That are annoying other people around me and also work on the ones that annoy me because I'm the one that's suffering over here. So it's like is is going dead inside about people borrowing my shit, what I need to do so as to not suffer myself?

[Abby Wambach]

Right? So going dead inside as a strategy, full circle. How can we go dead inside about these pet peeves and which ones are in the do better list? Because, you know, one of the best things that ever happened to me is when one of my friends gave me a stack of business cards that say nothing but stop talking. And you can go around the airport and to the man who's doing the very loud business call, you can just hand him a card that says, stop talking. I've never actually done it. Yeah, I'm like, but they're in my purse and they feel good being there, right?

[Glennon Doyle]

That would be so fucking amazing if.

[Abby Wambach]

You'D be in case of emergency. I forgot to mention manspreading on a plane.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, Jesus.

[Abby Wambach]

I want you to know, Pod Squad, that as an act of service for all of us, if someone is manspreading next to me on a plane, I. And perhaps this is a good metaphor for the way that I react to pet Peeves I will put both of my arms on. I will. I will spend six hours on a flight spreading out as much as humanly possible so that I am in pain just to prove my point that that dude does not get any of my space.

[Amanda Doyle]

Oh, my God.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay.

[Glennon Doyle]

It's upsetting for sure.

[Abby Wambach]

Let's hear from the opposite of our pet peeves. Our pet loves our pod squatter of the week. Emily.

[E]

Hi, Glenn and Abby and sister. My name is Emily. When you were talking about teachers being superheroes, like, that, you know, whole discussion hit me like a brick because I am a high school teacher, and, you know, one of the things that I don't know, you know, if this is applicable for other people and, like, whatever, but I always think, like, make it tangible. So, like, when everyone's like, teachers should be paid a billion dollars, I'm like, no one's going to pay teachers a billion dollars. But if everyone said, teachers should be paid $80,000, then actual change would happen. So, like, that's my big pet peeve and, like, feeling of, like, a way we could make change is by changing the way we talk about things like that and making real, actual changes that we think people should earn, you know, things along those lines. What have they earned? And being specific and not hyperbolic because that's the only way that we can get change.

[Abby Wambach]

That's exactly right, Emily. That's exactly right. And we've talked about that before in terms of whenever we throw those things at people, oh, she's a superhero. They're superheroes. That's just a way of pandering. That is more virtue signaling of the person who's saying it than anything that's beneficial to the person you're saying it.

[Amanda Doyle]

About and, in fact, detrimental. Because we're saying they're superheroes. They can and should, in fact, continue doing unreasonable levels of work, which they can do because they're superheroes. Normal people should not be expected to do that, but they should.

[Glennon Doyle]

That's right.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes. Yeah. So, like, instead of a little graphic that says teachers are superheroes and they should be paid a billion dollars, like, make a political call that actually states what teachers need, which is more money, more benefits, better maternity, paternity leave, all of those things that people who are actually humans and not superheroes need.

[Amanda Doyle]

Also, on the pet peeve note, can I just throw out another one? Because as we're talking, it really churns me with the teacher thing. Can we just make a minor suggestion that as you're considering teacher appreciation gifts and thank yous to teachers, holiday gifts and stuff. Maybe less of like the mug with your kid's face on it or the ornament with your kid's face on it. Maybe more cash money, maybe more gift cards like, because I'm pretty sure they're seeing a lot of your kids face lots of hours of the day. But what they're not really seeing is those dollar bills.

[Glennon Doyle]

Just Amen. That's right.

[Abby Wambach]

And as a former teacher, I will tell you that there was one year when I wanted those things. That was the first year that I taught and I was so in love with those kids that I did want, you know, your little lollipop doll that you made with your kid's face on it. But just I think it is it is a good rule in general to remember as a parent that no one loves your child like you do. No one in the whole world. No one. Not even their teacher. And if you're considering a gift with your kid's face on it, really for anyone else, cash instead. And with that We Can Do Hard Things we'll see you next week. If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to us if you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do these three things. First, can you please follow or subscribe to We Can Do Hard Things? Following the POD helps you because you'll never miss an episode, and it helps helps us because you'll never miss an episode. To do this, just go to the We Can Do Hard Things show page on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Odyssey, or wherever you listen to podcasts and then just tap the plus sign in the upper right hand corner or click on Follow. This is the most important thing for the pod. While you're there, if you'd be willing to give us a five star rating and review and share an episode you loved with a friend, we would be so grateful. We appreciate you very much. We Can Do Hard Things is created and hosted by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle in partnership with Odyssey. Our Executive producer is Jenna Wise Berman and the show is produced by Lauren Legrasso, Allison Schott, Dina Kleiner and Bill Schultz, SA.