We Can Do Hard Things: Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)

Release Date: January 19, 2025
Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle
Guest: Reese Witherspoon

1. Introduction to Reese Witherspoon

[02:11]
Abby Wambach warmly welcomes Reese Witherspoon, highlighting her multifaceted career as an actress, entrepreneur, producer, and New York Times bestselling author. Amanda Doyle details Reese’s accolades, including her Academy Award for portraying June Carter Cash in Walk the Line and her nominations for Wild (2014). They also mention her roles in beloved films like Legally Blonde and television series such as Big Little Lies and The Morning Show.

2. Reese’s Personal Journey and Early Friendships

[05:14] – [07:27]
Amanda Doyle draws parallels between her own life and Reese’s, noting their shared experiences of early motherhood, marriage, divorce, and remarriage with blended families. Reese reflects on the significant difference between her 23-year-old self and her 46-year-old self, sharing heartfelt memories of her early motherhood:

“[05:39] Reese Witherspoon: ...I have to make a decision or make choices when you're that young and you don't know who you are yet...”

She emphasizes the loneliness she felt living in LA and how finding a community through a “Mommy and Me” yoga class was transformative.

3. The Importance of Female Friendship

[09:01] – [12:27]
The conversation delves deep into the value of female friendship. Reese discusses her admiration for female authors like Glennon Doyle, Cheryl Strayed, and Liz Gilbert, noting how their writings provide comfort and a sense of not being alone. Reese shares a pivotal moment from Love Warrior that changed her approach to friendship:

“[11:27] Reese Witherspoon: ...actively listening as a friend, sitting in quiet understanding... was a light bulb moment for me.”

Amanda acknowledges Reese’s exemplary friendship, pointing out how she consistently shows up and maintains life-giving connections.

4. Navigating Adult Friendships and Making the First Move

[13:02] – [17:27]
Amanda poses Reese questions about understanding and building meaningful friendships. Reese conceptualizes friendship as a “deposit and withdrawal system” where mutual support and contributions are essential:

“[13:36] Reese Witherspoon: Friendship is so much, but it's a deposit and a withdrawal system... you can't take a withdrawal if you haven't made a deposit.”

She shares anecdotes, including moving to Los Angeles post-college and how reaching out to a neighbor led to her best friendship. Reese emphasizes the bravery required to make the first move in forging new friendships.

5. Experiences with the Old Boys Club and Empowering Women in Hollywood

[29:38] – [36:49]
The discussion shifts to the pervasive "old boys club" mentality in Hollywood. Reese recounts her early days in the industry, acknowledging the lack of rules and inappropriate behavior she endured:

“[30:07] Reese Witherspoon: ...I was part of a system that had no rules...”

She speaks passionately about founding Hello Sunshine in 2016 to create a safer and more empowering environment for women in media. Reese details the collaborative efforts during the #MeToo movement and the solidarity shown at events like the 2017 Golden Globes blacktie solidarity protest.

Reese emphasizes the importance of women telling their own stories and the impact of Hello Sunshine in providing platforms for female authors and storytellers:

“[35:55] Reese Witherspoon: Women's stories matter. And that's my life mission.”

6. Maintaining Friendships in Adulthood

[24:00] – [29:36]
Amanda explores Reese’s strategies for maintaining friendships as adults with busy lives. Reese advocates for regular, random check-ins and setting clear boundaries to ensure friendships remain balanced and supportive:

“[25:36] Reese Witherspoon: Random check-ins. Like, you're on my mind. What's going on?”

She admits to past struggles with drifting away from friends but highlights her current efforts to be more intentional and communicative. Reese also touches on the challenges of ending friendships gracefully, emphasizing honesty and boundaries to minimize long-term pain.

7. Personal Insights and Self-Care

[43:27] – [46:30]
Reese shares her practices for self-care and personal nourishment, such as painting with her mother. She underscores the importance of taking time for oneself to reflect and grow:

“[55:20] Reese Witherspoon: I paint with my mom on Tuesday mornings... They literally just eat cookies, have coffee, and do watercolors... it's a delight.”

The hosts and Reese discuss societal pressures on women feeling either “not enough” or “too much,” with Amanda and Reese advocating for the affirmation that:

“[46:30] Amanda Doyle: No woman is too much or not enough.”

8. The Power of Storytelling and Media Representation

[47:07] – [54:44]
Reese emphasizes the transformative power of storytelling in media, sharing inspiring stories of women influenced by her work. She recounts instances where Legally Blonde inspired young women to pursue law school and shares her experiences in jury duty, highlighting how media representation impacts real-life perceptions and actions:

“[51:43] Reese Witherspoon: It was a five day trial... [jury] saw you as a leader because they had seen you as a leader on television.”

Reese underscores the responsibility and influence she holds as a media figure to inspire and empower the next generation of women.

9. Closing Thoughts and Gratitude

[55:12] – [57:38]
In the final moments, Reese expresses heartfelt gratitude towards her friends and the hosts for their support and companionship. She emphasizes the importance of telling meaningful stories and being a positive force in others' lives.

“[57:19] Abby Wambach: Reese, you are a friend. You are inspiration. We love you and thank you for being with us today.”

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Reese Witherspoon:

  • [05:39]: “I have to make a decision or make choices when you're that young and you don't know who you are yet.”
  • [11:27]: “Actively listening as a friend, sitting in quiet understanding... was a light bulb moment for me.”
  • [13:36]: “Friendship is so much, but it's a deposit and a withdrawal system... you can't take a withdrawal if you haven't made a deposit.”
  • [25:36]: “Random check-ins. Like, you're on my mind. What's going on?”
  • [46:30] Amanda Doyle: “No woman is too much or not enough.”
  • [55:20] Reese Witherspoon: “I paint with my mom on Tuesday mornings... It's a delight.”

• Abby Wambach:

  • [07:27]: “Amazing, babe, what's the difference between your 23 year old self and your 46 year old self?”
  • [46:01]: “I kind of do.”

• Amanda Doyle:

  • [13:02]: “Rhys, some questions about friendship because this is... a new frontier for me.”

Insights and Conclusions

Reese Witherspoon’s conversation on We Can Do Hard Things underscores the profound importance of authentic female friendships in navigating life's challenges. Her journey from a young, isolated mother in LA to a powerful media mogul illustrates the transformative power of community and support. By founding Hello Sunshine, Reese has not only created platforms for women’s stories but also redefined industry standards, fostering environments where women can lead and thrive.

Reese’s emphasis on maintaining balanced friendships through mutual support and clear boundaries offers valuable lessons for cultivating meaningful connections. Her reflections on combating the old boys club mentality in Hollywood highlight the ongoing need for structural changes to empower women across all industries.

Ultimately, Reese Witherspoon embodies the podcast’s ethos of confronting and overcoming hard things through honesty, vulnerability, and solidarity. Her dedication to storytelling and empowering others serves as an inspiration for listeners to embrace their own strengths and foster supportive communities.