Start a Daily Delights Practice with Abby, Glennon & Amanda! (Best Of)

Summary

We Can Do Hard Things: Start a Daily Delights Practice with Abby, Glennon & Amanda! (Best Of)
Release Date: November 27, 2024
Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle

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Introduction to the Daily Delights Practice

In this engaging episode of We Can Do Hard Things, Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle delve deep into the concept of cultivating daily delights to navigate life's challenges. Building upon their previous discussions about the power of joy and gratitude, the trio explores how intentionally noticing and savoring the small moments of beauty can significantly enhance our well-being.

Experiences and Challenges in Practicing Daily Delights

The hosts candidly share their initial struggles and triumphs as they embarked on a practice of identifying daily delights. Amanda reflects on the difficulty of maintaining consistency:

Amanda Doyle [03:36]: "It was hard. It was fucking hard."

Despite the challenges, Abby emphasizes the transformational impact of this practice:

Abby Wambach [04:18]: "I was just living."

Defining and Experiencing Delight in the Body

Glennon introduces a fascinating discussion on how delight manifests physically and emotionally:

Glennon Doyle [07:00]: "I want to give the pod squad, like, a vivid picture of, like, when we tell these stories, what we would look like."

Amanda describes her physical sensation of delight:

Amanda Doyle [07:34]: "I feel juicy."

Abby provides a poetic portrayal, likening delight to a spiritual experience:

Abby Wambach [08:41]: "It feels at the same time like a bit of a rising inside of me. Like a little bit like... Like I'm going up on a roller coaster or something."

Sharing Personal Daily Delight Stories

Amanda's Delight: Navigating Daily Responsibilities with Grace

Amanda narrates a seemingly mundane yet deeply meaningful day:

Amanda Doyle [13:08]: "My husband out of town and the responsibilities of getting everywhere all at one time... I did not freak out."

Her ability to find joy in small victories, like beating a GPS estimate, underscores the essence of daily delights:

Amanda Doyle [14:33]: "I have to get back on my Wa Wa train."

Abby's Delight: Embracing Moments of Human Connection

Abby recounts a humorous yet heartwarming misunderstanding at TSA:

Abby Wambach [25:13]: "I don't know exactly, but I've been sober for 21 years."

This incident becomes a delightful memory, highlighting unexpected connections:

Abby Wambach [28:28]: "That's delightful."

She further shares touching moments involving her children and their resilience:

Abby Wambach [48:44]: "It was a damn delight just to hear her say, I was waiting for you."

Glennon's Delight: Finding Hope in Everyday Observations

Glennon shares her morning ritual at the gym, where she notices an older man purchasing a lottery ticket daily:

Glennon Doyle [30:22]: "This is my daily morning delight."

Her hope and enthusiasm inspire those around her, fostering a sense of community and shared joy.

Insights and Takeaways

The hosts collectively emphasize the importance of intentional attention:

Amanda Doyle [28:29]: "That is delightful."

They discuss how paying attention to delightful moments can shift perspectives and enhance life’s richness. Glennon highlights the contagious nature of delight:

Glennon Doyle [57:21]: "If I see somebody else in a delight moment, it does something to me."

Conclusion

In wrapping up, the trio encourages listeners to adopt a daily delights practice, fostering a mindset that seeks and celebrates beauty and joy amidst life's inevitable hardships. They invite the Pod Squad and audience members to share their own moments of delight, reinforcing the episode's central message: by focusing on the delightful aspects of our lives, we can cultivate resilience, connection, and profound happiness.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Amanda Doyle [03:36]: "It was hard. It was fucking hard."
• Abby Wambach [04:18]: "I was just living."
• Glennon Doyle [07:00]: "I want to give the pod squad... what we would look like."
• Abby Wambach [08:41]: "It feels like a lift. And then it also feels like a sinking into the truth."
• Amanda Doyle [13:08]: "I did not freak out."
• Abby Wambach [25:13]: "I've been sober for 21 years."
• Glennon Doyle [30:22]: "This is my daily morning delight."
• Amanda Doyle [28:29]: "That is delightful."
• Glennon Doyle [57:21]: "If I see somebody else in a delight moment, it does something to me."

This episode serves as a heartfelt exploration of finding joy in everyday moments, illustrating how a shift in focus can lead to a more fulfilling and resilient life.

Transcript

[Glennon Doyle]

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[Abby Wambach]

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[Amanda Doyle]

Day in and day out for three consecutive.

[Abby Wambach]

Well, it was hard. It was fucking hard. Look for joy. All right. I'm so glad it's over.

[Amanda Doyle]

Exhausted.

[Abby Wambach]

I'm so glad it's over.

[Glennon Doyle]

No.

[Amanda Doyle]

I could get back on my Wa Wa train.

[Abby Wambach]

Exactly. No, actually, it's been. Look, Abby's looking at us like we're nuts. Because she is delightful and she.

[Amanda Doyle]

She is.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes. And she has loved this exercise. Right? It's.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah. It's so wonderful.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes.

[Glennon Doyle]

I feel like people in the world are continually putting in our lap that we just have to follow this methodology of joy, go towards delight. And to me, it was just, like, so fun.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. To you, it was just like life.

[Glennon Doyle]

I was just living.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So I'm so excited to talk about these things because I'm joking a little bit, actually. I agree. It's the idea of what you seek, you shall find. Right. Like, if you are out looking for what to be delighted or what to be grateful for, that is what you see. And if you're out there looking for things to be pissed off about, that is what you find.

[Glennon Doyle]

That's right.

[Amanda Doyle]

Rosque says that the more you study delights, the more the delights there are to study.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes.

[Amanda Doyle]

And that is why I think everyone is out there pushing the whole gratitude journal dogma, because it's that the more you study it, the more there is to study. It's not like it's actually adding different things. It's just the noticing of the things that are already there.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes. I don't know if I've. If I've told the story before. If I have just. Oh, well. So when one of my kids decided he wanted to get on Instagram, and so we were like, okay, well, what. Why do you want to get on Instagram? He said he takes. He loved taking pictures. Okay, Michael, that's actually a good reason. Like, you want to get on there. Put your art on there. That's cool. But what he noticed, and we talked about a lot, is that the beauty of being a photographer, being a writer, being a gratitude noticer, being a joy seeker, is not like the time that you sit down and write in Your journal. That's not the benefit of it. The benefit of it is the rest of the day. Okay? So if you are a photographer and you're out there looking for beauty to snap, then your morning, noon, night, everything, a walk, becomes a search for beauty. Everything becomes a search for beauty. And so your life changes because of what you're looking for, not because of the end result. So this is why pod squatters, we feel like this is an important concept for adding, for having more aliveness, more joy. It costs nothing. This is maybe why the wellness industry isn't selling it hard. Because it can't be sold. It's nothing.

[Amanda Doyle]

Except for the gratitude journals.

[Abby Wambach]

Right, right. Which, by the way, P.S. if you. I have a journal on the market. It's lovely. I also know that just a piece of paperwork. Okay. Just. Just the voice app, piece of paper that could also be a gratitude journal. Okay, so can we talk, you three about the specific delights that we identified in our lives? I would like to suggest.

[Glennon Doyle]

But Can I interrupt?

[Abby Wambach]

Yes, of course.

[Glennon Doyle]

I would actually like to go around and figure out from the three of us how you. Your body, actually experiences a delight. Like the physiology or the emotion or the feeling or the reaction. I want to give the pod squad, like, a vivid picture of, like, when we tell these stories, what we would look like.

[Abby Wambach]

This is an iconic tripod moment, I believe, because we know if we are Abby's body, I'm spirit and sister's mind. Abby wants to know how delight is experienced in the body, which is very cool.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yeah, I feel juicy.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, okay.

[Abby Wambach]

Look at. She's so proud of herself.

[Amanda Doyle]

I know, I know. I came up with a thing that's actually a body thing, and I feel like I have caught myself in a moment.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yes. Yeah.

[Amanda Doyle]

I'm like, you just. You just saw a present that was hiding for you, and you just. You just saw it.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes. Okay, so it's a double delight, right? Because. All right, say you see, like, a dog. Most of my delights are just dogs. Spoiler alert. Okay, but say you see a dog. Like, say, for example, you see a dog that has slippers on. Okay. You feel delight in your body because you're seeing a dog that has slippers. The dog is delightful. But you are also simultaneously delighted about yourself because you are capable of being delighted. You're full of joy that you are not a robot and that you are a precious little thing that's being so delighted by this other thing. Right.

[Amanda Doyle]

You're a juicy little sucker who didn't miss the opportunity to just Revel in a slippered dog.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, it's good. I have a.

[Glennon Doyle]

How do you feel, babe?

[Abby Wambach]

Well, I have a little bit. I just thought of this, you know the famous line from Alice Walker's the Color Purple where she said, I think it pisses God off when people walk by purple and don't notice it. I am so weird and superstitious that every time I see something purple, I'm like, noticed. Got it. Noticed. It feels at the same time like a bit of a rising inside of me. Like a little bit like. Like I'm going up on a roller coaster or something. Like a lift. Feels like a lift. And then it also feels like a sinking into the truth. It feels like everything's a distraction except for this one thing. And then I see it and it's like entering a portal. In some spiritual traditions, they call it the thin places. And it's like the thin place is the place that is right. It's like the veil. It's right between this material existence that we live in and the other one. And the thin place is where you can get a little glimpse of the other side. So it feels a little bit lifty in my body and then sinky spiritually.

[Glennon Doyle]

Wow, that's amazing. You wanna know what mine is?

[Abby Wambach]

Yes. Ooh, I like your spells. Do it again.

[Amanda Doyle]

Do it again. For those who are used to 1,400 word answers like ours, do it again. How does it feel for you, Abby?

[Glennon Doyle]

It just goes, ooh.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, that too. You know, they say if you can say it shorter, you should say it shorter. And you did. You nailed it. Phoebe.

[Glennon Doyle]

I mean, I'm not saying I'm right or you're wrong. I just think that that's what comes into my whole being. And I know that chemically I know dopamine, I know all that stuff, but it just feels like, woo.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, there it is.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yeah. And also it reminds me of the life is forever tries. Because sometimes you can be like, went through this whole day and didn't access any delight and damn it, I missed it all. But really, when you're talking about that Color Purple quote, the rest of the quote is the part that I love because it's. I think it pisses God off when you walk by the Color Purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it. And then she says back, what does it do when. When it pissed off? Oh, it makes something else. People think pleasing God is all God cares about. But any fool living in the world can see it. It's always trying to please us back. Yeah, I say. Yeah. It's always making little surprises and spraying them on us when we least expect. You mean it wants to be loved just like the Bible say? Yes. Everything wants to be loved. There's just forever tries of delights just everywhere. It's not like shame on you for missing that. It's like, catch you in the next round. Oh my God, there's gonna be more.

[Abby Wambach]

It's every damn thing walking around. It's just standing there, existing, wanting to be loved. And when you notice it and get delighted by it, it's the fulfillment of the thing. It's like, yes, that's what creates the connection.

[Glennon Doyle]

Like Ross Gay was saying.

[Abby Wambach]

So it's connection. It's connection. All right, Sissy bear. I heard a rumor from you just now that you actually, and you've never told me this before in the history of our lives together, but that you are so inspired by the Ross Gay book, the Book of Delights that you actually wrote a teeny essay at about a delight in your life. I'm finding this hard to believe. I am delighted by that.

[Amanda Doyle]

I'm sweating and I have a red face.

[Abby Wambach]

You do?

[Amanda Doyle]

Because I had just finished the book on this day that this thing happened. And I came home and I wrote it down on a piece of paper.

[Abby Wambach]

It's so delightful. Can you please read it to us? It's so cool.

[Amanda Doyle]

We might have to cut it because I'm embarrassed about it.

[Abby Wambach]

Well, we're not going to cut it. I mean, unless your delight sucks and then we'll.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yeah, if our delight sucks, then it goes in the sucky delight reject pile. Okay, this says, it says at the top, Friday, Daily Delight. Oh, okay.

[Abby Wambach]

And by the way, is there just that one? Is that it? Friday, Daily Delight. Yes, that's the only thing.

[Amanda Doyle]

It was a brief inspiration, a short.

[Abby Wambach]

Gratitude journal as most of them are.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yes. Okay. My husband out of town and the responsibilities of getting everywhere all at one time, all on me for the four day sprint. I managed to get myself to the school pickup line to retrieve the children in the hopes of arriving my son to his violin lesson. Which is because we are over scheduled suburban masochists. Scheduled 20 minutes from the dismissal bell, situated 20 minutes from the school. But I do it. I get there right on time to find my kids so famished that they strongly insist they could not possibly wait until after the 30 minute lesson ended to eat. And so, to my delight, I did not freak out. I pulled into the Dunkin Donuts, surprising myself with an acquiescence that would not have acquainted me on a rush day or any other day when I was their age, our parents household priding itself on being as full of love as it was full of puritanical practicality and efficiency. We got back in the car, noting that we are now four minutes late as projected by the gps. I then proceed to make up each and every one of those minutes on the drive. I should be embarrassed to admit, but I'm not that besting the GPS projection by one or even three minutes is my most fail safe daily delight. Yes, yes. The aforementioned over scheduled suburban masochist.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes.

[Amanda Doyle]

We pull in triumphantly at precisely the appointed time only to learn from our son's incredibly lovely, talented if communication challenge violin teacher that there is in fact no lesson today. And to all of our collective astonishment, I do not freak out. Instead I take them to the Italian store around the corner where we pick up spaghetti and meatballs, and at the checkout line I noticed a tall rectangular red Lazarusini tin which brought my whole body immediately to my 7 year old self in my Aunt Peggy's house. Aunt Peggy, whose home was full of deliciously frivolous things like that red tin full of amaretto cookies. Like time to sew me a Queen of Hearts Halloween costume, like constant laughter that defied her two divorces. Like time to learn to fly a plane like her father and pilot all over the nation with the 90 90ers, her woman's pilot friends, and to take us up in it so we could see the world from an inspiringly selfish perspective of a woman who does what she wants, her life and home so delicious, full of treats and frivolity that could not be found in our more stable but supremely practical home and pantry. And so I told the lady at the checkout how much I used to love those Italian amaretto cookies at my Aunt Peggy's. She said, you still love them. So I bought a few wrapped in parchment paper and turned and squeezed at the edges like a bow. Later, at home, with an unexpected boon of 15 frivolous minutes, minutes that I didn't even need to steal from the gps, I sent Aunt Peggy a message about the amaretto cookies, about every fanciful delicious treat I could find in her home, in her life, and about how the lady at the checkout had concurred that aunt's houses are the best houses and how I agreed and knew that I had the best of those houses and the best of those aunts. And then I ate the amaretto cookies and I still love them.

[Glennon Doyle]

What the fuck with you Two. And your writing.

[Abby Wambach]

Sincere.

[Amanda Doyle]

That was my sincere delight. When I saw that red tin can, I was like, oh, my God, Aunt Peggy and her amaretto cookies and everything else.

[Abby Wambach]

There is so much. There's so much.

[Glennon Doyle]

I mean, can we just stop for just a second? And the woman at the Italian store says, you still love them. Somebody in our life needs to remind us that the stuff that we used to like when we were kids, we probably still like now.

[Amanda Doyle]

And I said it like, I used to love those when I was seven. Like, isn't that silly? And she was like, you still love those cookies. You still love them.

[Abby Wambach]

I love that.

[Amanda Doyle]

And I was like, oh, my God, I wonder if I still love those cookies. And I do, by the way, still love those cookies. I ate them all.

[Abby Wambach]

To what do you owe this uncharacteristic not freaking out, which led directly to all this delight medication?

[Amanda Doyle]

I don't know. I think sometimes when John is out of town, I'm like, it's a wonder I'm getting through any of this. Godspeed to us all. It's like the standard has lowered or something because it's just me and we're just gonna get through it. And I'm just doing the best I can.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Amanda Doyle]

Rather than the like, we gotta be there and that. Never be late and on to da da da.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, I don't know. I totally get that.

[Amanda Doyle]

I'm not sure. Also, it was a beautiful day and I had the top down and I was like, fuck it, it's Friday.

[Abby Wambach]

Fuck it. I mean, it's so amazing how our people around us, we think we have to be so perfect and like on time and all the things and what they want more than anything is sometimes for us just to be like, fuck it. That's what they probably remember is the fuck it moments. So flipping beautiful red tin cans.

[Amanda Doyle]

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[Glennon Doyle]

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[Amanda Doyle]

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[Abby Wambach]

Okay, I'll do one next.

[Glennon Doyle]

Great.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay so I have had a very interesting experience with the Delight project. I noticed that a lot of my delights have to do with misunderstandings with strangers. Okay, which I have always considered annoying and strange about me, but now I'm reframing as delightful. Okay, for real? For real.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

And I'll tell you why. Because. Okay, so last weekend we took the little one to a soccer tournament, and we had to go on a plane because that is what the soccer requires. I have thoughts about suburban masochists. Right, Exactly. That's a different podcast. So we're going through TSA now. The TSA line is a lot of things to me. Number one, it's not my favorite place. Okay. Because if I don't like things that are, like, go very slow, but pay attention, because soon it's going to be fast. You know, that's why the credit card machine bothers me with all the waiting and don't do it, and then suddenly do it, and then they give you your change. You don't know what to change, and the lines behind you, and you just want to throw all your money and run out of the store.

[Glennon Doyle]

The cash register.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, at the cash register. Right. That. It feels like that moment, but like there's more at stake.

[Amanda Doyle]

There's people behind you.

[Abby Wambach]

Life and death. Yes. I'm like, I guess we're just all pretending that we're not taking our shoes off and walking on this filthy. There's a lot you just have to not think about. And then the poor TSA people, I cannot imagine how much shit they deal with day in and day out, because it is a cranky making situation, which is decidedly not their fault. So, you know, it's a powder keg. And I'm just trying to do my best, all right? I really am. I'm trying to just not do anything that's going to make anyone's lives harder in the next few minutes. All right? So I start putting my things in all the many bins, and there's this woman behind the TSA agent behind. You know, there's the one that's, like, telling everybody over and over again to do the same thing over and over again forever.

[Amanda Doyle]

It's like a mother of a toddler.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes.

[Amanda Doyle]

Did you brush your teeth? Did you brush your. You need to brush your teeth.

[Abby Wambach]

Brush your teeth. Yes. So I'm just trying to not cause any problems. I'm listening to her, I'm looking at her, like, trying to make sure that I'm doing it right because it's different all the time. I'm about ready to walk through the thing over the thing. She calls to me. She makes eye contact. She calls to me and she goes, what was your last drink? Okay. I look at her, process what she's just said, and I say back to her, I don't know exactly, but I've been sober for 21 years.

[Amanda Doyle]

And it was probably like a Captain Morgan or something back then, right?

[Abby Wambach]

I'm sure it was. It was probably a Red Bull and vodka is probably what it was. Or a Franzia. My last drink was a box of Franzia. Anyway, she looks at me, this woman who before looked like maybe she hadn't slept for eight days, looked like she was having no funny business from anyone. She looks at me, she looks very confused for a second, and then she says, I said, what was your last bin? I saw it happening very fast. Okay? And I look at her and go, oh, yes, yes, that makes more sense. And then she looks at me again. She goes, what was your last spin? And then she cracks up.

[Glennon Doyle]

She breaks.

[Abby Wambach]

And this is all happening in five seconds. She breaks character. She breaks character.

[Glennon Doyle]

She turned into her human self.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes. And I'm telling you, she. Her eyes sparkled. Her mouth got. So she cracked up. She was laughing. And we didn't have any time to resolve it. I just moved right along. I was like, I can't cause any more problems. I can't explain why I just said that. When I got to the other side, I was thinking, okay. What I thought was, I know this is ridiculous. This is even worse. But I was thinking, I know we're not supposed to bring liquids, so maybe now they're checking how far back our last drink was because we're not allowed to have liquid in our bodies.

[Amanda Doyle]

Like, you better not have an accumulation of 12 ounces of liquid in your body either.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes. I thought it was going to be like surgery. When you go in and they're like, when was your last. Neil. So that's why I was trying to explain, I'm going to be fine because it's been 20 years. So. Okay, so I get to the other side. One of the girls was in front of me. So she's seen some of it. She's like, what just happened? So I explained it to her. Abby didn't see or hear any of it because she was behind me. But later, when I was explaining to her what happened, she said, God, I thought that that was the happiest TSA agent I've ever seen. She was so happy. She actually noticed how happy this woman was. So my point is that I loved that moment so much. And it was this moment of not stupidity, but, like, mishearing, misunderstanding, communication. Yeah, but the going off script thing, even when it's an accident, causes this moment of humanity and delight between two people that are strangers. I was thinking yesterday about how I will never forget that moment forever the rest of my life, because it was so weird. I don't think she will either, the way her face happened. So how weird that two complete strangers who will probably never see each other again, who met for five seconds, will have this weird shared memory.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

That's delightful.

[Glennon Doyle]

It's delightful.

[Amanda Doyle]

That is delightful.

[Glennon Doyle]

There is something to be said about having somebody who's, like, in a position of, I don't want to say power, but in a position where they have to be serious and their job is serious, and to get them to forget about that for just a brief moment, and it's impossible. I have never seen that at a TSA agent before.

[Abby Wambach]

That kind of joy. Right? Because when you try to do it, it's not good.

[Glennon Doyle]

I mean, she just is like, when.

[Abby Wambach]

People try to do it.

[Glennon Doyle]

When I was putting my stuff on the. On the conveyor belt, she was just looking.

[Abby Wambach]

Shaking her head.

[Glennon Doyle]

Shaking her head. Big, big smile on her face.

[Abby Wambach]

I was just like, imagine saying, what's your last been for six days in a row? And then someone looking at you and saying, I've been sober for 25 years, which is dead. And then in my head that night, this is, like, my bookend of the delight of this experience because I was delighted by it all day. And then when I went to bed, I realized I was making up scenarios in my head. For example, in my head, that woman needed a sign to get sober. She was, like, for weeks and months trying to figure out, like, maybe I should get sober. And she was, like, really trying to get sober. And then she was like, send me a sign that morning. And then this woman's like, I've been sober for 25 years. But then I'm like, wow. I'm, you know, an hour and a half into this fantasy. Instead of going to sleep, and instead of being like, why are you doing this? I was like, my brain is so delightful. Look, I am just making up a story for this lady. That's delightful.

[Glennon Doyle]

That's cool.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, so that's one of my delights, babe. What about you?

[Glennon Doyle]

Well, every morning, I'm a routine person.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes, you are.

[Glennon Doyle]

I love my morning routine. I do nearly exact same thing every morning. And part of my morning routine is that I go work out at the gym near our house from 7 to 8am Almost every single week.

[Amanda Doyle]

Weekday, yes.

[Glennon Doyle]

And when I first started going there about a year ago, I Started noticing something that was. Was happening. And where we live, there's like this liquor store that opens up at 7:30 every single morning. And that's early for a liquor store.

[Abby Wambach]

It is. It makes me kind of sad.

[Amanda Doyle]

Did you see the tsh?

[Glennon Doyle]

I did not. But they sell like, conveniences and stuff there. But anyways, I started noticing this older gentleman would pull into the parking lot. I do not know this person.

[Abby Wambach]

No.

[Glennon Doyle]

Never seen him. I don't know his name or anything like that. But every single morning he shows up right as that place opens up and he walks his little rear end into that store and buys a lottery ticket every single day. And there is nobody on the planet that has belief that good things can come to anybody who believes it for themselves. This is my daily morning delight. You know that scene in Good Will Hunting when I knew you were gonna say that.

[Abby Wambach]

We need to review this pod for how many times we've referenced for different reasons.

[Amanda Doyle]

That scene from Good Will Hunting.

[Abby Wambach]

Tell it, baby.

[Glennon Doyle]

You guys can probably explain it better.

[Abby Wambach]

Do you want me to do it?

[Glennon Doyle]

Yes.

[Abby Wambach]

So Ben Affleck picks Matt Damon up every single day to take him to his construction job.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

Will is like this mathematical genius who should probably be working at MIT or whatever. So Ben Affleck explains as his best friend that every single day when he walks up to Matt Damon's door to pick him up for his construction job, he has a second where he hopes and prays that Will will not answer the door because he's gone off to do his life and gotten out of this town.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah. Yeah. And went and got to be able to, like, do his dreams. So for me, my dream and hope is that this gentleman who is buying this lottery ticket stops showing up. Because then I know he's won the freaking lottery. And it is a delight. And I work out with 10, 12 people different every morning. Every single person knows about my obsession with this person who is going to win the lottery one day. The all the trainers that they're like, there's your guy. There's lotto guy. And I love it so much. And one of my superpowers is, like, when something delights me, I want to, like, share it with people.

[Amanda Doyle]

You are so good at that. You're very good at that.

[Glennon Doyle]

So that's my little daily delight that I also like. I really love a good lottery ticket.

[Abby Wambach]

You do? You're so hopeful.

[Glennon Doyle]

I don't do it anymore.

[Abby Wambach]

Abby Wambach used to get an every time she would be absolutely positive that she was gonna win.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

And I just. I freaking love that about you. Yeah, I mean. Shocked. Shocked when she doesn't win.

[Glennon Doyle]

For.

[Amanda Doyle]

What does the future hold for business? If you ask nine experts, you're going to get 10 different answers. That's one more than the experts you asked. Because nobody knows. Bull market or bear market, rising or falling rates, inflation up or down. You be the judge. No one knows the answer. And there's no crystal ball until that happens. Over 40,000 businesses have future proofed themselves with NetSuite by Oracle. It's the number one Cloud ERP. With its unified business management suite, you gain a single source of truth that provides the visibility and control you need to make quick decisions. Imagine having real time insights and forecasting at your fingertips, allowing you to peer into the future with actionable data. When you're closing the books in days, not weeks, you can focus more on what's next instead of looking backward. Speaking of opportunity, don't miss out. Download the CFO's guide to AI and machine [e-mail] HardThings. It's free and packed with valuable insights. That's NetSuite.com HardThings.

[Glennon Doyle]

The holidays are almost here. Between traveling, hosting family, and finding the perfect gift, it's such an exciting, busy and yes, sometimes stressful time. Luckily, I've teamed up with Ring and it helped me stay connected to home for all the merry moments. Even when I'm on the go. With Ring, you've got your whole home covered. Their video doorbells alert me when gifts arrive and I can even chat with delivery people to let them know where to leave the package. Ugh. It's the best. The indoor cam. Well, it's a game changer. So easy to set up. I use it to check in on my pets while I'm away. We love to watch Honey and Hattie. And with two way talk, I can even talk to them. Hi, honey. Hi Hattie. And when I want privacy, I just flip the manual cover to turn off the camera and mic. Wherever the holidays take you, Ring, make sure you're always home for the holidays. So head to Ring.com to find the latest deals on Ring, video doorbells, cams and alarm kits. Ring makes the perfect gift for everyone on your list. It's the best. Go get it, folks.

[Amanda Doyle]

Okay, I have one.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay.

[Amanda Doyle]

Recently I escorted the fifth grade trip to Colonial Williamsburg.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh my God.

[Amanda Doyle]

Which was a 13 hour endeavor that included riding hence and yawn to and fro. To and fro on an auto bus with like 100 fifth grade kids to Colonial Williamsburg. And then we walked around. And then, as if there wasn't enough injury already suffered, we were waiting for the bus. And then the skies just open up. It is a total deluge. And we're all standing out waiting for the bus. And then it's like this moment where everyone's trying to decide how to respond.

[Abby Wambach]

Exactly.

[Amanda Doyle]

There's that moment where everyone's trying to decide whether to be, like, super cranky and vocally angry or just, like, quiet and fuming frustrated or just to, like, resign ourselves to the fact that we're going to be sitting on a stanky bus for three hours home with 100 fifth graders. And then. So after this moment passes, there's, like 25 of the kids, like, run over to this corner, and they're splashing in the puddles, and they are doing the arm pump, you know, the universal signal of honk, honk your honk, honk, honk at us.

[Abby Wambach]

Honk your honk.

[Amanda Doyle]

And each car that goes by, probably 85% of them honk back at the kids. And it is as if every single honk is like a goddamn miracle.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yes.

[Amanda Doyle]

Every honk, they start screaming and jumping up and down like they have just, like, won Abby's lottery. And then again, they wait for the next car. They do it with equal gusto, arm thing. And then they honk. And then they're just as freaking delighted the next time. And it happened because we were waiting there for a long time in the rain for, like, 40 minutes. And you just could not help but smile. Because all of it, the finding a fun thing to do in an uncomfortable situation and making it more fun, the fact that it's rating them, that they're doing it, and then this universal language we have, which is so odd, of.

[Glennon Doyle]

Just pumping your horn, is so weird.

[Amanda Doyle]

And then everyone being like, I got you, I got you.

[Glennon Doyle]

H, yeah. Why is this universal song?

[Abby Wambach]

Because it's a truck.

[Amanda Doyle]

In trucks, they're used to have their horns, like, a little strap that they pull down.

[Glennon Doyle]

It also works with boats. We used to do this. This is how we get. We get the big liners to honk their horn, and we'd go, honk your horn.

[Abby Wambach]

But I think even that is, like, so little control and power.

[Amanda Doyle]

The honk as a response is. Why does that elicit such delight? Because it's like the honking is, like, offensive. But in this context, it's like, yes.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes, we're all in this together. Strangers. Connection with strangers. Man. There's something to it.

[Glennon Doyle]

So good.

[Abby Wambach]

So good. Okay. A couple little Ones. Can I do like a couple little ones? Yes. So we have a golf cart that we use to drive around our town. We don't have it for golf, but people have those. And sometimes I drive it around in the early morning and the same people are out, like, walking their dog. This one guy walks his dog. This one lady is always speed walking. And in my head what I sing over and over again is, these are the people in my neighborhood. In my neighborhood. In my neighborhood. Yes, these are the people in my neighborhood. They're the people that I meet when I'm walking down the street. They're the people that I meet each day and it makes me really happy. And I don't know any of their names or talk to them ever, but they're part of my song. And then a little one is, I was walking on this big sidewalk that we have where lots of people walk on by my house and the roses are all blooming. And I do find myself very delighted by flowers and things that grow. I don't understand it. I don't understand why we don't freak out about it more. I will never understand how a very small packet of seeds that is as big as 3 inches turns into a hundred foot garden where one piece of cucumber is a hundred times bigger than the little seed. I don't understand why people don't freak out about that miracle all the time. It's so fucking crazy. Like, I'll be like, you guys, this seed that you can barely see on my finger became that thing and we're all just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, standard. It makes me feel bad for Jesus when everyone was like, show us a miracle. And he's like, look at that fucking watermelon.

[Amanda Doyle]

Look around, asshole.

[Abby Wambach]

Look around, assholes. So anyway, there's this one flower garden that these people have and it's. The whole thing is full of apricot colored roses. Ooh, they're the most beautiful color. I kept thinking, somebody loves this color.

[Amanda Doyle]

So much, it's really doubling down. The gardener's like, what about some blues or some green? She's like, no, pretty much apricot. Pretty much all apricot.

[Abby Wambach]

Apricot. And this is what I'm thinking. And they're so beautiful.

[Amanda Doyle]

I think we have enough apricot. Add more apricot.

[Glennon Doyle]

More apricot, right?

[Abby Wambach]

And that's what it was. Delightful, right?

[Amanda Doyle]

Like, that's delightful.

[Abby Wambach]

People who like something so much that they're like, no, all apricot. I don't care. I don't care if other People like a little red.

[Glennon Doyle]

No.

[Abby Wambach]

As for me in my house, me.

[Amanda Doyle]

And my house, we're apricot.

[Abby Wambach]

We choose apricot. Okay, so I'm having all of these thoughts, being delighted by these flowers, being delighted by the apricot freaks who planted this garden. And I run into a lady. Okay, like literally.

[Amanda Doyle]

Literally.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, literally run into a lady.

[Amanda Doyle]

So you're walking or are you still in the golf cart?

[Abby Wambach]

I'm walking. No, I'm walking. Thank God. Right?

[Glennon Doyle]

Did you run, like, was she walking the opposite way or were you walking in the same direction?

[Abby Wambach]

Unfortunately, I had apparently drifted a little bit over to the left side, like to the place where the people were walking forwards. And I was. It's not a law, but it was everyone's walking.

[Amanda Doyle]

But it's customary and courteous walking on.

[Glennon Doyle]

The right side of the.

[Abby Wambach]

Everyone was walking. I veered in my delight. I veered towards the apricot.

[Glennon Doyle]

That happens to me on treadmills.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, wait, when I'm watching.

[Glennon Doyle]

No, when I'm watching something on TV on a treadmill, I literally almost fall off anybody who ever watches anything on a treadmill. So, like, you, you were like, oh, delight.

[Abby Wambach]

And I went towards it and then, and then I ran into a lady. Or she ran into me, depending on how you look at it. I was in her spot. Okay, I was in her spot. And then I was like, oh, I'm, you know, whatever I said, I know. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And she goes, I've been sober for 20 years. Did you say that? And then she goes, pay attention. Okay, listen, I have not stopped thinking about this. I didn't say anything. She had a point in her own worldview.

[Amanda Doyle]

In her non apricot, focused life perspective, she had a point.

[Abby Wambach]

It was so fascinating to me because I felt like a little bit offended in my soul walking away because what I was doing was paying attention. I was paying such close attention. I was paying more attention than any of the other undelighted assholes who were walking by Apricot Village, not even noticing. I was not paying attention to the things that avoid pedestrian collisions.

[Amanda Doyle]

Well, it's like that meme. Not all wanderers are lost. Not all those not paying attention to you are not paying attention.

[Abby Wambach]

Right. And we're going to move on in a second, but I'm just going to put a flag in this because what I'm saying is that I feel like there's something here. I feel like we are paying attention. It reminded me of when I don't close the Cabinets or whatever. It's not that I'm not paying attention. I'm actually paying attention to something very important and beautiful. I'm just not paying attention to the thing that gets the things done or avoids problems. Do you know what I'm saying, though?

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah. You have a design. Your priority list of what you want to put your attention on is just different.

[Abby Wambach]

Perhaps we pay attention on different dimensions, but attention is being paid. Do you have any more you'd like to chat about?

[Glennon Doyle]

Well, I have one that I thought was so touching. This last Sunday, our son was competing in a half marathon. And we were on this soccer trip and I wake up at like 6:50 in the morning and I see that there's a notification on my phone, FaceTime from Chase. Now in our world, that's like alert.

[Abby Wambach]

Level whatever, because he's not awake.

[Glennon Doyle]

And we are on a road trip with Emma. He didn't remind us that this was happening, so we had no idea that he was actually running. So I called him, no answer, text him, no response. And then about two minutes later, he facetimes me and turns the phone on. And what I realize is he is in the middle of his marathon and he's at the 10th mile. He and his roommate in college are running together, which I think is the sweetest thing ever. And so long. And the short of it, he wanted to include me and Glennon on his run, which, like, it just was so.

[Abby Wambach]

Sweet, such a delight.

[Glennon Doyle]

And it just made me feel delighted.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. And he wanted to include you.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

He called you. She's like, yeah. She's like, yeah.

[Amanda Doyle]

I just didn't call me, but when.

[Glennon Doyle]

I hung up, that was the first thing Glennon said. He called you. And I was like, oh, he did? And that makes me very excited and go, ooh.

[Abby Wambach]

And another kid related delight that we were talking about is that our youngest in one of those soccer games, she got hurt. And they kind of get hurt. And then you wait a second, they usually pop right back up and sometimes they don't. And that's like a really scary moment. And so she didn't pop right back up. So when she didn't pop right back up, I turned. I'm just registering what's happening. So I turn towards the chair next to me to say oh, shit to Abby. And Abby's not in her chair. We're way up in the stadium thing. I look down to look for Abby and she's already running across the field to the child on the field. Right. So what happened after is that we're way up in the stands, me and Craig and Abby and all the parents. And she got really hurt. She's fine, but she got.

[Glennon Doyle]

It was a big collision.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. And so she's laying there and the trainer's out there and the coach is out there, and she's not moving, which is terrifying to us. Eyes closed, not moving. Abby gets out there, she says, am I here? And then she opens her eyes and starts moving. She said, I was waiting for you. She wasn't gonna move or open her eyes until her mom was there to say whether she should move or open her eyes. But her certainty that if she just kept her eyes closed for five more seconds, that her mom would be in that circle. And like, you know, when Abby Wambach runs out onto the field and is like, that's my kid. The trainer just is kind of like, okay, go ahead. Like, let me know. Let me know what we should do.

[Glennon Doyle]

I mean, it wasn't that the sweet. It was really sweet.

[Abby Wambach]

It was a damn delight just to hear her say, I was waiting for you. Just the certainty knowing that, you know.

[Amanda Doyle]

Oh, my God, that's so beautiful.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah. So Glendon wasn't around when I was playing, and I would fall a lot. I fell down a lot. I was a very physical player. And so to make sure that my mom wasn't losing her damn mind watching me have all of these physical collisions, interactions, I would lay on the ground with my thumb up if I was okay and just trying to, like, dive. They call it, elongate the call. Or play a psychological game with referees.

[Amanda Doyle]

The refs didn't catch up on thumbs up. He's, like, writhing in pain. But she's got a little baby thumb.

[Glennon Doyle]

Up, Little baby thumb. Or like, there were a couple times where I just thumbs down. I was actually really hurt.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, that'd be so sad to see your kid laying on the ground and then go, thumbs down.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah. So we taught Ameth a little all good. But I knew instantly that it was going to be a big collision. I knew she was going to be fine, like, truly. But I also knew that Emma didn't know she was going to be fine. And so I needed to get out there to make sure that she knew that I knew that she was going to be fine so that she could be fine, and she was fine.

[Amanda Doyle]

That story is so beautiful.

[Abby Wambach]

I just thought of a delight from that moment that maybe Emma has a little bit of be in her, because the trainer goes, did you hit your sternum? And Emma heard, hit your sternum. So she's just doing whatever they say. So she slams herself in the chest while she's laying down.

[Glennon Doyle]

She was just laying there and she goes, bam. And I was like, whoa.

[Abby Wambach]

And the trainer goes, why'd she do that?

[Glennon Doyle]

She goes, because you told me to hit my sternum. She said, did you hit your sternum?

[Abby Wambach]

She's like, well, now I did. Anyway. All right. Do you have any more little ones, Sissy, you wanted to say, I garner.

[Amanda Doyle]

A lot of delight from the fact that the dog always knows when a kid is sad or hurt.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh.

[Amanda Doyle]

If a kid is so sad about something, you don't know what to say. But then Seamus just walks in and, like, puts his head on their shoulder or their lap and it's like, how did you know that? It's amazing to me.

[Glennon Doyle]

It is. I know we have. We had to, like, actually edit all of the dog because we could just sit here and talk all day long about the delights our dogs give us. The dogs, they're just our besties.

[Abby Wambach]

They're delight reminders is what they are.

[Amanda Doyle]

Also, the way Alice says, specifically, pacifically.

[Abby Wambach]

That is a source of delight for me.

[Glennon Doyle]

Sweet.

[Amanda Doyle]

It's gonna be so sad when she learns I've never told her it's wrong.

[Abby Wambach]

Good. Just.

[Amanda Doyle]

Cause selfishly, I want her to keep.

[Abby Wambach]

Saying it that way. I love that. Pacifically.

[Amanda Doyle]

I would like to draw your attention to.

[Abby Wambach]

I had two little ones. One is, I was thinking about it. It's a delight to me every time our friend Alex comes over and I open the door and she just stands on the doorstep and looks at me. She tilts her head to one side and puts this face on her face that makes it seem like we haven't seen each other for 30 years. And she's been on a long journey and she has finally made it. She lives in la. We see each other once a week. But it looks as if we have been on a long journey and have finally found our way back to each other, which it sometimes feels like life is like that. So Alex on the doorstep is one of my delights. And also I have this yoga instructor who is really cool and wonderful. And then every time I leave her class, she goes, bye, Glennon. I love you.

[Glennon Doyle]

Aw.

[Abby Wambach]

The other day I said, I love you too, Anastasia. And I do love her.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, that's so sweet.

[Abby Wambach]

It's like these people that show up in our lives and help us through an hour, help us through whatever. Yeah. I love you, Anastasia. I really do. I love you.

[Glennon Doyle]

I have a delight.

[Abby Wambach]

What's that?

[Glennon Doyle]

So on Tuesday morning, I had made plans with your mom and your mom to go to my gym that I was speaking about earlier. And I think she was feeling a little nervous because, like.

[Abby Wambach]

Because she's 75 years old, and she's going to the workout place that I have not gone to one time because I'm too scared of it.

[Glennon Doyle]

And she gets in there and she's moving weight. Your mom is amazing. She's so fucking badass. And so my delight comes when the trainer comes over and he's like, that's excellent form, Patty. Excellent form. And I was like, oh, my God, that's so exciting. And then the walk home. Your mom was so grateful and thankful. And it's kind of intense and overwhelming at first because there's a lot going on if you don't know how it kind of flows. And it was just a fucking delight. It was amazing to me to, like, go and do this thing. And also super inspiring for me. Yeah, it's, like, changed my outlook. I don't have parents that are active in their 70s, you know, so it's reframing, like, what my vision is for a future for ourselves, you know? It's really cool.

[Abby Wambach]

Cissy, do you have any you want to end on?

[Amanda Doyle]

I feel like the small town delights delight me. The little things. Like, I was just thinking about how when we go for a couple weeks in the summer to this small town where John grew up going, and everyone's looking out for slash parenting everyone's kids, and there's not like a Don't talk to my kid like that. There's just nothing. It's like, please say what needs to be said, because it's just a few blocks in their shop where you can get, like, milkshakes and sandwiches and stuff. And I remember calling up one time because I had to take Bobby somewhere, and I didn't even say who I was. I was like, I. Can I please have an egg sandwich on bread? And they go, wait, is this. Is this for Bobby? And I was like, yeah. And they go, that's not Bobby's order. We'll make Cobb syrup. And I was like, okay. And it's the same place where Bobby came home one day and told me that unfortunately at the market, the milkshake machine was broken. I was like, good for them. The milkshake machine was definitely not broken. They had just been like, this little boy has had too many milkshakes. So we're just gonna tell him the milkshake machine is broken. He's like, you'll never Believe it. The next day he went in, he's like, the milkshake machine is working again.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, my God, that's so cool.

[Amanda Doyle]

I just really like that where you can just. People can just make executive decisions about like your kid has been over served of milkshakes. And we're just gonna tell them so good.

[Glennon Doyle]

Just some common. Some like small town common sense.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes. And communal raising.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Abby Wambach]

I have freaking loved this. I think we should ask the Pod Squad. I think that we should collect delights from the Pod Squad. This is like good stuff, y'all. It's like you can't add time, you can't change time, but you can kind of change the way you spend your time, the experience of life. By focus, I mean, let's plant some apricot roses. Let's plant some apricots and pay attention. Let's pay attention.

[Glennon Doyle]

Pod Squad, if you want to share some of your delights, call in 747-200-5307. That's 247-200-5307.

[Abby Wambach]

You're a delight, babe.

[Glennon Doyle]

I am an. I actually am.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yes, you are.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes, you are.

[Glennon Doyle]

I am. And guess what? I think you are also a delight.

[Abby Wambach]

You do.

[Glennon Doyle]

One of the things that I am most delighted by is you and your delight. Wow.

[Amanda Doyle]

Oh, delight abounds.

[Glennon Doyle]

I just love, like, honestly, if I see somebody else in a delight moment, it does something to me. I'm like, oh, yeah, look at that person. Oh, oh, oh, oh, Pod Squad.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, we'll see you next time.

[Amanda Doyle]

Go out there and get your all.

[Abby Wambach]

Bye. Bye. If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to us if you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do these three things. First, can you please follow or subscribe to We Can Do Hard Things? Following the POD helps you because you'll never miss an episode, and it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. To do this, just go to the We Can Do Hard Things show page on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Odyssey, or wherever you listen to podcasts, and then just tap the plus sign in the upper right hand corner or click on follow. This is the most important thing for the pod. While you're there, if you'd be willing to give us a five star rating and review and share an episode you loved with a friend, we would be so grateful. We appreciate you very much. We Can Do Hard Things is created and hosted by Glennon Doyle, Abby Walter, and Amanda Doyle in partnership with Odyssey. Our executive producer is Jenna Wise Berman, and the show is produced by Lauren lagrasso, Alison Schott, Dena Kleiner and Bill Schultz.