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Glennon Doyle
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Amanda Doyle
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Abby Wambach
Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things Today I have my lifelong dream of being a TV game show host. I did not on TV and not really a game show. Who knew that was one of your dreams?
Unknown
I did not know that.
Maybe we should start.
Abby Wambach
I feel like it would be so fun.
Unknown
You'd be very good at that. Well, we'll see. We'll see if you're good at that.
Abby Wambach
Yeah, we'll see. I don't know. I don't know. I might just have to go back to being a regular podcast host, which I'm exceptional at.
Unknown
Okay.
Abby Wambach
I had this fun idea and we'll see if it's fun of doing like a newly weddish game.
Unknown
Okay.
Abby Wambach
Where we have one of you leave and then I can ask the other one the questions about, like, so Glenn. And we would have Abby leave and I would ask you questions about Abby that you would be answering them as if it was Abby. And then we'll have Abby come back and we'll see if you are correct or not.
Unknown
Okay, wait, my question already is, am I answering? First of all, I want to applaud us all for attempting lightness. I think Pod squad this hour for you is our attempt to be light and easy, breezy and fun. So I'm going to try to avoid.
Abby Wambach
Well, you haven't heard my question.
Unknown
Okay, great.
This is my jam. I love this A game.
But my question is, am I supposed to answer these questions from the perspective of what I think, or am I supposed to answer these questions from what I think Abby will say?
Abby Wambach
I need you to just trust the process and there won't be confusion. It's not a tricky game. The questions will be so clear that you will know what is intended for you.
Unknown
And it's not.
Abby Wambach
You can always take a T. Okay.
Unknown
Take a T. Take a T. You.
Abby Wambach
Can take a T and just be.
Unknown
Like, oh, take a T. I have.
Abby Wambach
A follow up question. But you can't do that every time.
Unknown
Okay. I wish I had to try to.
Abby Wambach
Scream your way out of it.
Unknown
So I have a question. So before tests came to you in your life, were you the kid that was like. But Mrs. Johnson, I don't understand. I want to make sure that I get how to the instructor, like, were you that kid?
I like to understand what's happening.
Okay.
I like to try.
Abby Wambach
She likes to overstand.
Unknown
I'm like, over stand.
This is not a joke. I am of the same ilk.
I knew you were gonna say ilk.
Abby Wambach
Who says ilk?
Unknown
I do.
Abby Wambach
Abby says ilk. And actually, you might have just messed up one of my questions. Okay, Abby, you're excused. We love you so much. Do not be an earsight. I can understand. It's tempting.
Unknown
I won't.
I'll miss you. Where are you gonna go?
I'm just gonna go.
You're gonna go outside the room?
Yeah, I'll go watch some videos or something.
Reels. She's gonna go watch some reels.
Abby Wambach
She's gonna watch some tiny horses.
Unknown
And then when she comes back, she's gonna say, I read this study, and it's always just a real. That she saw.
I read the study. Okay, say I watched a video that.
Cited a study because we had to talk about it. I said, you need to say you saw it on TikTok.
Okay, can we just do the light most favorable to you?
The light most favorable. Okay, pods, why do you need to know that? She just popped back in and said, can we just answer in the light most favorable to each other?
Amanda Doyle
No, we need to do the light.
Abby Wambach
Most authentic to one another because then it will get more confusing.
Unknown
She wants you to text her when she's done. When I'm done.
Abby Wambach
Also, if there's any questions that you're like, that's ridiculous. I don't.
Unknown
That's.
Abby Wambach
Then just skip.
Amanda Doyle
We have plenty.
Unknown
I'll try to do my best not to do that because that's my. Rejecting the first offer is my MO But I will try.
Abby Wambach
And we're trying to do a little rapid fire.
Unknown
Okay.
Abby Wambach
If it's possible. But who knows? If Abby were an animal, what would she be?
Unknown
A golden retriever.
Amanda Doyle
Oh, God, that's so true.
Abby Wambach
I wish I had more golden retriever in me. If you got another dog and Abby had a hundred percent say on the.
Amanda Doyle
Name, what would she name it?
Unknown
I mean, the name person. I'm the name person.
Amanda Doyle
Oh, so she wouldn't.
Abby Wambach
Would it be unusual?
Unknown
No, I would have pages and pages. I already do. I already have pages of names, just in case we have another dot.
Abby Wambach
So your formal answer is she wouldn't.
Unknown
It would start with that.
Abby Wambach
Your hypothetical doesn't work.
Unknown
It would start with an H. It.
Abby Wambach
Would start with an H. Oh, honey and Hattie. Yep.
Amanda Doyle
Okay.
Abby Wambach
Hamburger. All right, number three.
Amanda Doyle
What is Abby's hidden talent?
Unknown
Planning things. Planning adventures. Planning vacations. Planning things. Making everyone have a good time.
Abby Wambach
Good time. Abby. Got it. Okay, who said I love you first?
Unknown
We don't know that, but I bet it was her. Okay, just based on our personalities, right?
Abby Wambach
Golden retriever, please. See? Golden retriever. If Abby had no soccer talent, what would have been her dream job?
Unknown
When she went to her college visit and they asked her what she was interested in, she said she wanted to be an FBI agent. And so the whole. Every college tour, they took her to the criminal justice classes, and she said, I don't wanna do this. What is this? I just want to be an FBI agent. And they said, this is what you have to do. So that's when she changed her mind.
Abby Wambach
And she got real serious about soccer.
Unknown
Then she majored in leisure. Leisure activity. That was like a major. And by the way, that's her talent. That's what she's good at. Planning leisure activities. And that was her major.
Abby Wambach
Are you sure it's leisure activities or is it hospitality?
Unknown
You can ask her, but I believe the word leisure was in it. Leisure planning. Leisure. I don't know. Yeah, it was leisure.
Abby Wambach
She. She majored in leisure. She majored. She major. It's amazing.
Unknown
And she's the only one in our family who uses her major.
Abby Wambach
Yeah, exactly. Her education is the only one applicable.
Unknown
It was the most helpful.
Amanda Doyle
What is Abby's weirdest quirk?
Unknown
There's so many. She speaks like she's from the Victorian era. Like she. She doesn't even have to do a past life regression. I know from whence she came. Secondly, while I went, during stressful times, I tend to have internal repetitive actions that are self soothing. Like thoughts that are, you know, that I feel like keep me safe. And hers are outer ones, like movements, things that she starts with, like pacing or like things that all of a sudden, like during stressful times, you can tell because she's doing like a new physical thing.
Abby Wambach
I've noticed that. She'll be like, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Or. And she also talks to herself when she's dressed.
Unknown
Yeah, it's a. Mine are. But I. We are equal in like our different coping soothing mechanisms. But mine are internal and hers are external. And we've just figured that out.
Abby Wambach
That's so interesting. Okay, if Abby could only eat one food for the rest of her life, what would it be?
Unknown
I'm gonna say wagyu. She likes these fancy beefs that I'm not certain about, but she likes coffee.
Abby Wambach
$6 million besides people and dogs. If there were a fire, what would she say? From the house, the wagyu.
Unknown
Well, we do have arguments like that end in a heated manner about what? We would go back into the house and save ever since. This is.
Abby Wambach
Lesbians talk a lot.
Unknown
Oh my God. You don't even know. It's exhausting. Again, we cannot just understand each other. We have to overstand. But I know this woman and I know she's a hero. And so after we watched this is Us, I have had an ongoing conversation with her about whether or not she's allowed to go back into a burning building to save one of our dogs. It's not an easy conversation.
Abby Wambach
No, it's not.
Unknown
It's a terrible conversation. And I. I don't even know where we've landed. But it is an Ongoing one.
Abby Wambach
But we said besides people and dogs for that very reason. Okay. Would it be our watches?
Unknown
I'm trying to think if we're not like sentimental people about things. So it's tricky for me, I think. Okay. No, no. I think I know what she would do. I think she would save Chase's journals. Chase, our son, has these journals that are his, like, most prized possession, and I think she would save those.
Abby Wambach
What is a hobby Abby has that you don't fully understand?
Unknown
She likes to work out with people that are, like, yelling at her. Like in yelly environments where people are yelling. And then I can tell who they are in our community because when we walk by them, they yell at each other. But it's like, I don't know, it's a lot of yelling.
Abby Wambach
If Abby could have any superpower, what would it be?
Unknown
I think she would want to be able to teleport different places quickly because she loves adventure and traveling, but doesn't like the transportation part because of her life long life and have airplanes. So I think she'd just be able to get places without going.
Abby Wambach
You're doing great at this. You're doing the best at this.
Unknown
You think so? Thank you.
Abby Wambach
Yeah, you're doing great. How do you decide what to have for dinner?
Unknown
Oh, my God. We start in the morning, and then all day we pretend like we're having a nice conversation. What do you want for dinner? So we pretend we're not annoyed that we're having that conversation again. And it starts in the morning and it goes eight hours to nine to 10 hours. And then just like yesterday, we were. Abby looked at me at like three and was like, you know what? She said it in a nice way like, oh, why don't you decide what we want for dinner today? And I said, don't act like that's a nice thing to say. That's not a nice thing. Oh, God. It's just an ever going on conversation that will never end. And then we only end up getting one of three things.
Abby Wambach
What are they?
Unknown
Indian food, Mexican food. Those are both ordered. Or we just end up. It's called fend for yourself night, which just means good luck, everyone.
Abby Wambach
Perfect. What phrase does Abby use too often?
Unknown
Two things. One, she. Every time she has a question, she says, I have a question. And the redundancy does. The redundancy of this is so amazing to me, but I can't. Anyway, I have a question. And also the other thing she says before she's saying something that she thinks is important or is important is the truth is which. Never mind. I have no comment.
Abby Wambach
What is something that Abby is always right about?
Unknown
When we get in an argument, Abby is always the rightest. Okay. Because I am right about the particular issue. I am right in a court of law, but I am always wrong in the big picture. Because the thing is not about that. It's about loving each other and finding compromise and being kind with each other's hearts, which she is always doing. Which, really, when you think about it, is some bullshit, because she's always gonna win because she's always taking the high road. But I am crushing it on the lower road. Right, right, right.
Abby Wambach
You are right. In fact, she is right in spirit. Exactly. Okay. What is something that Abby is seldom right about?
Unknown
Facts.
Abby Wambach
Okay. What is the weirdest app Abby has on her phone?
Unknown
I don't know if it's weird, but she plays solitaire. I don't believe that there's anybody in the world that has more time on their solitaire situation. Never one time is she, like. No matter what she's doing, she's also playing solitaire. It's really impressive.
Abby Wambach
What is one thing that Abby would love to get rid of if you would let her?
Unknown
I don't think she loves my paintings.
Abby Wambach
The ones you make. Well, she's never gonna say that, so I'm gonna write that down. But what's something that she'd love to get rid of that she'll actually say?
Unknown
You're right. She won't say that. And by the way, she's the biggest supporter of my painting in general.
Abby Wambach
Right. She just doesn't like the product, the.
Unknown
Actual paintings, which I really understand. She doesn't like, like, knickknacks and clutter at all. She's the stuff. She's like. She picks up a thing, and she's like, what is this thing? And I'm like, I don't actually know.
Abby Wambach
But it's a decorative, ornamental thing. Yeah.
Unknown
And she only allows it because I need a bit of that for coziness. But she would have nothing anywhere. She likes things minimal.
Abby Wambach
Mm. Mm.
Amanda Doyle
Who brought up marriage first?
Unknown
I don't know, but I'm guessing her.
Abby Wambach
Same with I love you thing. Yeah. Okay. It was kind of dovetail. If Abby asks you to please get fast food for dinner, where does she actually want it from?
Unknown
Oh, that's so good. I mean, we love fast food dinner. I think she probably wants Chipotle. Is that fast food? I feel like that's fast food.
Right.
Abby Wambach
I feel like it's middle of the room.
Unknown
It's Medium. It's medium.
Abby Wambach
I mean, my kids think it's a restaurant. And I'm just like, yeah, that's right.
Unknown
It's medium. I think that's what she would want the most. Although she does like In N Out burgers too. But I say veggie.
Abby Wambach
We'll accept both of those. What would Abby say are her best personality characteristics?
Unknown
Oh, my God. I mean, she just has the best personality. I'm trying to think of what she would say. I think that she likes her generosity of spirit and her presentness and her openness and her enthusiasm for life. I think those are all kind of the same thing, right? Yeah, she's very joy and adventure and open hearted. Oh, and then she said the other day, she said, I think I like myself. She said. And I said, I like you too. And she said, I'm really starting to like myself. And I said, well, in what way are you thinking? And she said, I think I see the world in a light, the light most favorable to the world. And I said, that is absolutely correct.
Abby Wambach
She does. She sees the world in a light that favorability that the world doesn't even deserve.
Unknown
And that's why the world loves her and that's why she ends up living in a better world than we do. Because, my God, that's the same way.
Abby Wambach
People like her and the world likes her back. Because she likes the world in an absurd wait.
Unknown
Because people remember how you make them feel. And she makes people feel like they're amazing because she really believes they are. And then everything is more beautiful for her.
Oh, my God.
Abby Wambach
Okay, I have four more.
Unknown
Who is Abby's hero when she was little? I know it was Michael Jordan.
Abby Wambach
Okay.
Unknown
I don't know who she'd say now.
Abby Wambach
Okay, which one of you is better at self care?
Unknown
We are both really good at self care.
Abby Wambach
Tied. Tied for first place.
Unknown
I think we're tied for first. And she hates a tie. She likes losing more than a tie. I do know that it doesn't make any sense to me, but she doesn't like tying.
Abby Wambach
What story does Abby tell over and over?
Unknown
All of them.
Abby Wambach
All of them.
Unknown
There's only like six. And it's comforting to her. And I do need to say one thing about that because this was life changing to me. I didn't understand. This is years ago. I didn't understand that she knew she was telling the same stories over and over again. So at one point I just said, do you know that like the kids know that one so well, they've memorized it. And she said, oh, yeah, I know. I don't care. I'm not doing it because I think it's new to them. I just enjoy telling these stories.
Yeah.
And I thought, oh, wow, okay. So you can just decide to not even consider the audience and carry on. I thought that was kind of badass.
Amanda Doyle
Well, also, I think it's bigger than that. I think it's like. Cause John does that and his entire.
Abby Wambach
Family does that, and it's just like a rotation of the 20 stories that get told. It's like. It's like, choose your own adventure. These are one of them. And I think there's kind of a comforting thing. It's like, this is our family culture. This is the stories that we tell. It's like oral tradition in a way of, like, this is what I want you to know about us. And, like, the vibe of the fam. I don't know. I think it is. I have grown to appreciate it. At first, I was like, I don't. Are we all just supposed to pretend we haven't heard this?
Unknown
That's what I thought we were doing. I thought we were pretending we hadn't heard it. But do you ever, like. Because sometimes we'll just be in a situation and somebody will say a word, and then I.
Abby Wambach
And you know it's coming. You're like, you just triggered that story. It's like a vending machine where it's like, if you say any of those seven words, you're getting one of those treats.
Unknown
And then sometimes if I just really don't want to do that, I, like, real quick, try to change the subject. Like an eagle change the train track. So we, like, miss it. But I. But in general, I think it's a beautiful, ritualistic sort of thing.
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
Abby Wambach
Okay.
Unknown
She loves to tell this story about when she was playing beer pong with Ina Garten at a Taylor Swift concert. She's told it on the pod, but that is one that if anyone says beer pong around us, or Taylor Swift, which, by the way, a lot of people say Taylor Swift a lot of the time.
Abby Wambach
Or Ina or. Or that kid is barefoot.
Unknown
Right, Right.
Abby Wambach
It's just anything. Anything that will lead. All roads lead back to Ina and Taylor and beer pong. If I had that story, I'd tell it every day to every person.
Unknown
It's a good one.
Abby Wambach
Okay, last one. Fill in the blank.
Amanda Doyle
Abby and I are total opposites when.
Abby Wambach
It comes to trauma responses. Okay. Amazing. Well, really great job. Really great job.
Unknown
Thank you.
Abby Wambach
How are you feeling? About her coming back in and giving her take.
Unknown
Curious. I feel really curious.
Abby Wambach
Okay. This is so exciting.
Glennon Doyle
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Unknown
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Glennon Doyle
About why we are the way we are, why we succeed, why we screw up, then you'll want to check out Armchair Expert. Hosted by Dax Shepard and Monica Padman. The show explores big, honest conversations with artists, thinkers, scientists, and cultural icons like Alex Cooper, Brad Pitts, and Monica Lewinsky, just to name a few. Together, they explore everything from identity and addiction to imposter syndrome and finding your purpose. Then on Fridays, they flip the mic.
Unknown
To the listeners with Armchair Anonymous, a.
Glennon Doyle
Listener driven series where real people call in with raw, funny, and totally human confessions. From disastrous dates and family secrets to accidentally joining a cult, they've heard it all. If you love self reflection, big ideas, and embracing the comedic chaos of life, follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. And subscribe to armchair expert on YouTube.
Abby Wambach
Can you tell her to come back from her small horse videos?
Unknown
Okay. And I'm switching with her. I'm leaving.
Abby Wambach
No, you're staying to hear her responses.
Unknown
Okay.
Abby Wambach
Okay.
Unknown
Hey, babe. It was so fun, babe. You're gonna love it, I think.
Abby Wambach
Okay, Abby.
Unknown
Yes.
Abby Wambach
Here we go, girl. Abby.
Unknown
Yeah.
Abby Wambach
If you were an animal, what would you be?
Unknown
So I think that it would either be like a teddy bear. Like a bear. Ah. Or like a golden retriever dog.
Abby Wambach
Your wife said golden retriever.
Unknown
Really?
Abby Wambach
Yes. Okay, Abby, if you got another dog and you had 100% say over the name of it, what would you name it?
Unknown
This is hard because I know for a fact that I have no say in this.
Abby Wambach
That's correct.
Unknown
Exactly.
Abby Wambach
Your wife's answer was she wouldn't.
Unknown
It's so good.
Abby Wambach
You wouldn't even ditch something with an horror is what it would be.
Unknown
Well, yeah, maybe because that's what she would want. For consistency's sake, of course. Yeah, we. I know my place here.
Naming is not your real.
Abby Wambach
You're taking care of the dogs after you get them.
Unknown
That's right.
Abby Wambach
Abby, what is your hidden talent?
Unknown
I think my hidden talent. That I think Glennon probably would say. This is. Feels so weird because I don't even know if this is a talent of mine, but I feel like you would say something about my emotional intelligence.
That's sweet. That's not what I said.
But what did you say? Good.
I said planning joy and adventure and trips.
Yeah, that is good.
Abby Wambach
Planning things that are a good time.
Unknown
Yeah, I'm a good time person. Yes, you are. Do you even think that I'm emotionally intelligent?
I do.
That'd be funny. She's like. I don't think that.
Abby Wambach
What if they questioned later was like. What is she not good at? She was like, emotional intelligence. Don't worry, I didn't ask that. Okay, who said I love you first?
Unknown
For sure it was me.
Abby Wambach
She said, I don't remember, but I.
Unknown
Bet it was Abby.
Yeah, I don't remember either, but I for sure think it would have been me. Glennon's not. I don't even remember.
Have I said it?
Yet you've said it. Yeah.
I love you.
Abby Wambach
She's getting more and more comfortable. One of these days. Any minute now. Abby, if you had no soccer talent, what would have been your dream job?
Unknown
I have a couple. I mean, I would have probably been a professional golfer slash FBI agent. You did. I literally went to college and told them, I want to be an FBI agent. And so they brought me to all these, like, criminal justice classes on my recruiting trip. Did you explain this?
Of course.
Abby Wambach
And then you were like.
Unknown
And not this.
I was like, no, FBI agents have.
To go to class.
Yeah. Leisure service management was my major.
Abby Wambach
I was like, she told me that. And I was like, there's no major that has leisure in it.
Unknown
It is leisure service management.
Abby Wambach
Okay, but service management, it's a little like hospitality for the leisure industry, right?
Unknown
That's right. Yeah, yeah. Like hotels, etc, which. Which ironically, I spent a ton of time doing those things in those places.
That's what I said.
Abby Wambach
The only applicable learning.
Unknown
My parents. In your family, literally, my parents were like, leisure service, what are you gonna do? I'm like.
Abby Wambach
And you're like, you're not paying for it.
Unknown
I'm. Get out of Dutch. I'm gonna be leisure.
I'm figure out how to be one of those FBI agents who doesn't have to go to school.
And I never graduated because I was really taking to heart the leisure part of my.
Abby Wambach
I was so good, I got my doctorate and left in a leisurely fashion. Okay. What is your weirdest quirk, Abby?
Unknown
Oh, no. Okay, well, now I don't know if this is just current news. I have been informed that my allergies have really been stoking marital fire inside of Glennon. I'm rubbing my nose a lot and, like, itching. And it's what she used. The word was distracting instead of annoying. And so now my nose is super itchy. So now I'm just like. I like, turn away and I do it and it's become a problem, I think, and I'm looking into it. I'm looking into, like, getting allergy shots. Climate change has really fucked me over. The freeze isn't lasting as long. Did you say all this?
Abby Wambach
She said, I feel like I'm going to get canceled for controlling your body. I should. No. Weirdest quirk turned into, like a really self flagellating, like, situation.
Unknown
Is that what you said?
I said it more general than that.
Abby Wambach
I said, no, you didn't say any of those things. You said Victorian era speech.
Unknown
Okay, but the other thing, physical and.
Abby Wambach
Verbal, repetitiveness that's what I was saying when she's under stress. It was the nose rubbing. Yes, It's. It's.
Unknown
So I wanted to keep it general because I didn't want to say anything that might hurt your feelings. Oh, that's sweet, but that's what I meant. Like outer things that. Self soothing.
Yeah, that.
Abby Wambach
You were talking about a nose rub.
Unknown
Yeah, a nose rub. More intense than maybe my understanding is the other. You said verbal also.
Oh, no, no.
Abby Wambach
I added the verbal part. I thought we were talking about something else.
Unknown
Oh, got it.
Abby Wambach
Take out the verbal.
Unknown
Got it.
Abby Wambach
The repetitive, repetitive movements.
Unknown
She said, I think a lot of people have those. I have them. Like, I play with these. This top all the time.
Yeah. Listen, pod squatters. Glennon has been dealing with this internally for, evidently months. And she's just revealed this to me recently, and she did it very lovingly and kindly. And she's not wrong.
Glennon Doyle
She's not wrong.
Unknown
I have some work to do around my physical soothing mechanisms that could be. I'll say it. That is probably really annoying to be next to somebody 24 hours a day going.
Abby Wambach
Cloud squatter. She's rubbing her nose.
Unknown
Click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Nose, nose, Nose Itch.
But I tend to be so irritated by things that are none of my business to be irritated about. So I have been talking to my therapist about this situation for four months. Okay. And I have not brought of you. Yes, I know. Because I was like, I need to figure out if this is my problem. But then over time, we realized, my therapist and I, that since it's going on and getting more intense, if it were me, I would want to know in a loving way so that I could decide whether this was a conscious thing I wanted to continue or if it's unconscious. Anyway, you see what I'm saying?
She's been trying for a while to, like, clue me in. Like, your allergies are acting up a lot more than normal, et cetera. And then in classic lesbian fashion, yesterday, I was like, gosh, this has been happening for so long. And I feel. I feel weird that you haven't brought it to my attention. She's like, but that's the work I'm trying to do, because I'm not trying to police your body and your natural reactions to stuff. So it's a thing that I'm now conscious of.
Abby Wambach
Yeah.
Unknown
And one last thing. We sat down to dinner just two nights ago, and I was like, I finally was about. I was gonna do it. And so I was like, I have to Talk to you about something. I'm thinking about it for, like, months. I am so nervous to talk to you about it. Blah, blah, blah. And now I need to work on the fact that. Because then I said, you're itching your nose, and she was like, what the. I thought you were gonna divorce me. I thought we were getting. So now I have to work on doing it.
I don't know.
Abby Wambach
Yeah. Yeah.
Unknown
In a less extreme fashion. Yeah.
Abby Wambach
Yes.
Unknown
Yeah.
Abby Wambach
All right. All right. Well, that took us down a road. If you could eat one food for the rest, if you had to only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Unknown
I feel like what Glennon would say is different than what's true.
Abby Wambach
Okay, give me both.
Unknown
Maybe for sure. Hot dogs for me. But, like, she would say either chipotle or pizza.
I don't know about food.
What did you say?
I said, why you? Or Waygoo or whatever that is.
Oh, yeah, that's funny. I think that I'm now deconditioned to eating expensive things.
Right. That's what I said. I said. All I know about it is that it's like a million dollars.
Yeah. I love a good wagyu steak.
Abby Wambach
Are you telling me in your heart that if you could eat one food the rest of your life, it would be hot dogs?
Unknown
Yes.
She loves a hot dog.
It's my favorite food in the whole world.
Abby Wambach
Wow.
Unknown
She's from Rochester. Hot dogs are big.
It's an upstate New York thing.
Abby Wambach
Oh, it is?
Unknown
Yeah. Garbage plates. Red hots with cheese and hot. And hot sauce. And they do a special hot sauce up there. Look, it's not healthy. I don't do it very often, but when I get a hot dog, this body is the happiest.
Abby Wambach
It can be amazing. Okay. I've learned something other than people and dogs. If there were a fire and you could go back and save something, what would it be?
Unknown
Like, my most precious thing.
Abby Wambach
I guess. Precious to you?
Unknown
Yeah. What would Glennon say that I would say probably. She probably would say, like, my medals. But it. For me, what I would definitely save is this ring that my mom gave me. That was an heirloom my grandmother had her wedding ring had, like, a bunch of these teeny little tiny diamonds, and when we turned 21, we got three of those diamonds. And so I. I would save that ring.
Abby Wambach
Oh, that's so cool. She had it made for all of us.
Unknown
Yeah. Oh, it's beautiful. Yeah. Every single one of us.
Abby Wambach
That's beautiful.
Unknown
What did you say?
I said, Chase's journals that I would save Chase's journals. I would.
I don't even. Where are they?
They're over there. Clearly, I was wrong.
I think you answered for yourself.
Well, I think you should save Chase's journals.
Too bad. Okay.
Abby Wambach
Because, like, not her grandmother's ring.
Unknown
Well, no, I'll accept that as well.
Abby Wambach
Okay. What hobby do you have, Abby, that your wife Glennon does not really understand?
Unknown
All of them. I mean, golfing, surfing.
I understand surfing.
I mean, you understand it, but you don't understand it.
I understand it spiritually.
Yeah. Crosswords. Although that's wordy. What did you say?
I said working out with people who are always, like, yelling.
Nobody's yelling.
I feel like they are.
Nobody has ever yelled. Not one time has anybody ever yelled.
What you think is yelling is not what I think is yelling.
No, nobody even talks at all.
I hear that when I walk by that place.
Abby Wambach
Wait, what? They're just yelling at Glennon. If they're not yelling, you've projected on them yelling. Go.
Unknown
No, never once. Never once.
It feels like a. Like, high energy.
Okay, so what happens is there's 12 of us in this class. The music's louder. The music is so loud because that's. Oh.
Abby Wambach
So the singers are the ones yelling.
Unknown
They are also yelling.
I think that the singers are yelling. Nobody's yelling. And sometimes the trainer will have to, like, increase the volume of their voice to explain what's happening next.
Like, that's what yelling is like.
10 seconds.
Increasing the volume of your voice. 10 seconds is yelling.
5 seconds.
Time.
They'll say time.
Right.
Abby Wambach
Who wants that? Who wants someone yelling at you?
Unknown
Time.
Because you have to know what time it is. And when you're done with the exercise, you don't actually.
You're choosing that kind of stress.
Abby Wambach
Well, clearly we are correct that Glennon does not understand that hobby. Okay, if you could have any superpower, Abby, what would it be?
Unknown
Time travel.
Abby Wambach
Yes.
Unknown
Yeah. Like going from here to there without having to be on a plane.
Abby Wambach
Yeah, that's what I said. Okay. How do you decide what to have for dinner, you two?
Unknown
Oh, I asked Glennon, and Glennon asks me, and then Glennon has an idea, and then I take the idea and I run with it?
Abby Wambach
Amazing. What would you say if she said that you start in the morning, both of you discussing it as if you're having a pleasant conversation, and you pretend all day like you're having a little bit of a pleasant conversation, but all day you're trying to figure out, and you're ratcheting it up. And then at some point, sometimes you just say, well, I'll let you decide what to have for dinner, Glenn. And then she says, I don't want to know. I don't want that job from you. And then you end up just ordering out or fending for yourselves.
Unknown
Yes, that. That. That rings true. That actually happened last night. I sometimes try to, like, do a bait and switch with her that I'm.
Glennon Doyle
Like, oh, my gosh. What do you want for dinner?
Unknown
Like, it's a gift.
Like it's a gift.
Abby Wambach
She's like, you can't just put a.
Unknown
Different emphasis on a different syllable and make it seem like a gift.
Abby Wambach
What phrase, Abby, do you use too often?
Unknown
That witch. That witch is. What else? What else do I say?
Abby Wambach
Wait, wait, in what context is that? Which. Like, use it in a sentence.
Unknown
Okay, so you want to try?
No, I can't even try.
I can't either right now.
What's another phrase? What did she say?
Abby Wambach
I said, do you have any more.
Unknown
That you think I do? I just can't think of a single one.
Okay.
Yeah.
The ones I said was, every time you have a question, you say, I have a question. Just because I believe it's that you want double the time and attention.
I want the attention.
Abby Wambach
No, it's like, in one second, everyone's gonna be focused on me. I'm reclaiming my time.
Unknown
Yes. And then I also said that you say, the truth is.
The truth is. Yeah.
Before.
Abby Wambach
The truth is that which I'm about to speak after I have this question.
Unknown
That's right. That's right.
Abby Wambach
Okay. What, Abby, is something that you are always right about.
Unknown
I don't know what I'm always right about. I don't feel like I'm right about much. In our family, there's so many smart people around.
Abby Wambach
Well, we have established you are not right, in fact, but you are right in spirit.
Unknown
Yeah.
That's good. I'm not right in facts, but I am right in spirit. That is my vibe.
Yeah.
That is my vibe. I'm gonna take that with me.
Thank you. Which means that you're always the rightest. That's what I think. I think in every argument we're having or thing, you're. You're the rightest because you're on the biggest plane of intention and you win the argument. That's right.
Like, you win it factually, but I lose it.
So I win it. Yeah, I won.
Abby Wambach
What is it if you win the whole world and lose yourself, why do.
Unknown
I feel like an.
Abby Wambach
Because I am because you are. Yep.
Unknown
Yep.
Abby Wambach
Okay.
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Unknown
Yes.
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Abby Wambach
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Abby Wambach
So what is something that you are seldom right about, Abby?
Unknown
Most things I said.
Abby Wambach
Facts.
Unknown
Facts. Yeah, facts.
Abby Wambach
That's what we see.
Unknown
Yeah. Most things. Remembering Information.
Information.
Abby Wambach
Information.
Unknown
But generally I get. I'm good about the vibe.
Abby Wambach
Yeah, yeah. That. Which is the vibe.
Unknown
Yes, that. Which.
Abby Wambach
What is the weirdest app that is on your phone?
Unknown
Oh, man, I've got a lot of them. What would be the weirdest one that Glennon thinks? Solitaire.
Abby Wambach
That's what I said.
Unknown
Yeah.
Abby Wambach
Look at us.
Unknown
We're doing good at this.
Okay, so I play solitaire. It's my, like, numb. Just check out and it's so fun. It's just get me out of this life and world for 15 minutes. Solitaire is it. I think that whenever that happens, whenever Glennon sees me on solitaire, I think that she has like an internal panic attack because she thinks it is the most uncool.
What? Uncool? I'm the least cool person on earth. Why would I care about cool?
But like, it's the most unintelligent. I think Glennon.
Abby Wambach
I don't think so. I solitary. It requires a lot of my intelligence.
Unknown
But the way that. Okay. She one time criticized the way that I played it because I like to go for speed and so am I just making this up?
Abby Wambach
No, that's what. That's all this is.
Unknown
Halter.
Abby Wambach
There's no, like, doing it. She's not playing.
Unknown
She's not just going like this because it like.
Abby Wambach
Okay. The motion that Glennon's doing is like the getting cash out of your hand motion.
Unknown
Like possibly making it rain.
Abby Wambach
Making it rain. Like, so she's not.
Unknown
I'm pressing it.
No, there's no strategy. It's like she's actually just trying to.
Because it's like on auto. Like, it can automatically.
Abby Wambach
You play auto solitaire kind of, but not really.
Unknown
Yeah, yeah.
I wasn't gonna say anything, but I'm.
Abby Wambach
That's not even playing. That's just being present for it.
Unknown
Correct.
I am trying. The. The whole goal for me to play.
Solitaire is playing something by yourself. What is it when you're not even playing? It's nothing. A tear. It's. There's not one person playing. It's nothing.
I am trying to get away from my world.
0.
A tear accompl that and the way that I play my life.
Abby Wambach
You're watching a program that is playing solitaire.
Unknown
It's like those kids that watch other people play.
I am moving it. I am doing it, but I am doing it for speed. I'm a speed solitaire player.
Abby Wambach
I'm not judging the mindless because it's the mindless scroll that I do on the phone. But what I'm just saying is, I'm just wondering if we can call it playing solitaire if you're not like, okay, here I have an eight. The eight goes on the nine. I'm gonna put it there.
Unknown
Yeah. But the way that my brain works is that it's done it. I see the red and I'm like, oh, it goes there. And it just automatically does it for me.
Abby Wambach
Okay.
Unknown
Like, I press it on purpose because I see the move. It just does it faster for me.
Abby Wambach
You're gonna end up in the same place anyway. Might as well let them do it. That's your theory?
Unknown
Yeah.
People like to have a player piano in their house. It just plays for them. And so for her, it's like watching a player piano.
Abby Wambach
Yeah. But those people don't say, what are you doing right now? I'm playing the piano. They say, I'm listening to my player piano.
Unknown
I'm doing solitaire.
Abby Wambach
That would be a hobby.
Unknown
I don't understand.
Abby Wambach
Okay. Got it. All right. So what is something, Abbey, that you would love to get rid of if Glennon would let you?
Unknown
I mean, I think the thing that she would say, but it's not true for me, is I think she would say maybe her painting stuff.
Abby Wambach
That's what I said.
Unknown
But that's not true. True.
But then I said, I don't know if that's true. And so then I said, knickknacks.
Oh, yeah. God damn it with the tank. Knickknacks. All of our shelves are buried. Like, buried in knickknacks.
They're not buried. There's, like, five things upstairs.
You guys were filled to the brim over here.
Abby Wambach
Nicky Nakis, Nicky Nack, Patty Wack.
Unknown
I like space. It makes me feel clean.
Abby Wambach
Who brought up marriage first?
Unknown
No idea. But for sure I knew that I was going to marry her. I don't know.
Do you know I said, I don't know, but I bet it was you.
Yeah. Especially, like, with three kids, you know, it was a little bit more complicated for her, so. Yeah. Yeah.
Amanda Doyle
Abby, if you were to ask Glennon.
Abby Wambach
To please get fast food for dinner, where do you actually want it from?
Unknown
Oh, Chipotle.
Abby Wambach
Yep, that's what she said, but we didn't know if that was counted as fast food or not. It is, so. She also said, in N Out Burger.
Unknown
Yeah. Glennon's not a huge Chipotle fan. So whenever Glennon's gone for, like, a night and nobody's in the house or it's just me and the kids, it's Chipotle all day. Yeah, I get, like, once every six months.
Abby Wambach
What is your Chipotle order?
Unknown
Burrito bowl. Burrito bowl, double chicken.
Burrito bowl, double chicken, both Beans, pico de gallo, cheese, beans, sour cream, no lettuce. And then hot sauce.
Abby Wambach
Now, hell with that. Lettuce.
Unknown
Yeah. Red hot sauce. Side of chips, side of guac. And then the way that I do it is you take a chip, you dip it in the bowl, you put a little guac on top, because guac all over the thing. This doesn't feel right to me. Yeah. The problem is, when we eat Chipotle, I'm the only one who has this chip thing. I'm the only one that orders chips. Oh.
Abby Wambach
And everybody wants a chip.
Unknown
Everybody believes that it's a family chip bag. It's not a Sony chip. I have to actually tear. I have a whole system with Chipotle. I tear the bag, and I put the bag next to me, and then I just see the.
Abby Wambach
On the chair. On the chair next to you.
Unknown
No, I just put them next to my bowl as if, like, these two are partners.
Abby Wambach
It's a private servant.
Unknown
Yeah, it's private. And then I just see them. And then sometimes kids will go, can I have a chip? And I'm like, yes, begrudgingly. Yeah.
Abby Wambach
So the entire breedable is eaten through the vehicle of the chip.
Unknown
Mostly. Sometimes I run out. Sometimes I run out when chips are now delegated to other humans. Run out. And then I gotta.
Abby Wambach
I gotta, like, actually use a fork.
Unknown
Use a fork. But, like, sometimes I'll do the fork. In between, I see the chips are running low. It's a whole system.
Abby Wambach
Yep, yep, yep, yep. Got you. Okay. What would you say are your best personality characteristics?
Unknown
I'd say one of them is I'm pretty easygoing. I like to have fun. Mm. I'm pretty, like, dependable. Like, stable.
Would you Say I said that your generosity of spirit and presentness and your. The way you look at people in the world, that you see the world in the light most favorable to it and to other. Other people in the light most favorable. So since you have such a beautiful opinion of the world and other people. Other people in the world tend to be beautiful to you, and then you end up having a more beautiful life than the average bear.
Wow, that's so sweet. And thank you.
Abby Wambach
And she also said emotional intelligence, which.
Unknown
Is the same thing.
Abby Wambach
I know, I know. Who is your hero, Abby?
Unknown
Well, I had different heroes at different stages of my life.
Abby Wambach
Okay, what were your early.
Unknown
When I was really young, it was a woman.
Sheila Doyle.
Abby Wambach
Shit.
Unknown
Yeah. Sheila Doyle.
I forgot about her. Sheila Doyle. She picked Sheila as her confirmation name because she was so obsessed with Sheila Doyle, who was an.
Abby Wambach
Sheila is not a common confirmation name.
Unknown
Well, Abby didn't ask what was common.
Mary Abigail. Sheila Wambach.
Because she was like an older girl in the neighborhood who was an athlete. And Abby thought she was the coolest.
Yeah. She was the daughter of one of my parents. Best friends. And my sisters were also my heroes growing up. My sisters, Beth and Laura.
Abby Wambach
Yeah. Yeah.
Unknown
And then as I got older, it was like Mia Hamm, Michelle Akers in soccer. And then. I don't know. Who the heck did you say I picked?
The one that you always tell me was your hero, which was somebody from a different sport than you.
Who.
Well, I think his number was 23.
Oh, Michael Jordan.
Yeah.
Yeah. He was like, back in the day, there were no, like, women. Professional. Very few on television at all. So, like, Michael Jordan was like, it. Like, the way that I practiced. I, like, tried to imitate him in his fierceness.
Be like, Mike.
Yeah. And honestly, when the wannabe. Wannabe wanna be. Like, my commercials came out and then Mia was like, I do. I do. Yeah, I definitely.
Oh, yeah, Mia was in them.
Yeah, she was.
Weren't you in one with him and Mia?
Abby Wambach
No, there was one later with the golf and then she's hitting the.
Unknown
Yeah, I think you were in one.
Oh, yeah, I guess I was. I was.
Yeah.
It was a Gatorade commercial. Yeah.
Abby Wambach
So that's kind of cool that he was your hero. You were looking at him on tv and then you were in a commercial with him later.
Unknown
Yeah.
Abby Wambach
I mean, good work.
Unknown
That happens to most people. Most people end up in commercials with their childhood heroes. Yes. And then.
Abby Wambach
And then don't remember about Sheila right now. What's she up to?
Unknown
I don't know.
Abby Wambach
Which One of you is better at self care.
Unknown
Glennon.
Abby Wambach
Why did you say that?
Unknown
I think because I do employ a lot of self care mechanisms. I do sauna, I do cold plunge, I work out, I do PMF mat, I do red lights. But I think that Glennon has established the baseline of like, that's what we do here. And I'm so grateful to that. So I give her the credit for starting me into the becoming. Really? Like self care.
Abby Wambach
Would you say that, like, you would be like, tied maybe?
Unknown
I think that Glennon is good at doing self care things that don't require any other devices. I'm good at like buying the things.
Abby Wambach
You're, you're, you're an accessor. Heavily accessorized self care.
Unknown
Yeah. Like I, I'm not gonna just do yoga on a mat. Like, that's never gonna.
Abby Wambach
You're gonna have a studio.
Unknown
I need to have a thing that helps me with. So I need the thing to basically do the self care for.
Abby Wambach
You needed the solitaire version of yoga?
Unknown
Well, I think we, because it's different, like when we, we have different ideas of self care. Like what's the forward facing self? Like, it makes sense that your self care would be physical things. Yeah, my self care is more like emotional, mental. Right. Like they're different. And that requires like a lot of meetings and then books and yours requires a lot of.
We are trying to come to devices. I think we're coming to the same end, but we're using the forces differently. I know that if I take care of my physical being that I am making the whole thing. I am taking care of my emotional and my mental wellness that way. That's how my body works. It's how my being works. And I think if you take care of your emotional through the intelligence factor, then the physical form can feels better.
Abby Wambach
Your wife said that she thinks that you'd be tied for both first place because you're both very good at self care. But she also said that you would prefer to lose than to tie so that you would.
Unknown
That's right. I would never say tie tying is worse than everything.
Abby Wambach
Yeah, that's right.
Amanda Doyle
We have two more. What story, Abby, do you tell over and over?
Unknown
All of them.
Abby Wambach
That's what I said. That's what she said.
Unknown
I'm just a repeater.
Abby Wambach
Fill in the blank. Glennon and I are total opposites when.
Unknown
It comes to cleanliness.
Well, maybe it's the same. Same.
Yeah. What did you say?
Abby Wambach
She said trauma responses. But maybe your cleanliness are both trauma responses.
Unknown
Yeah.
Okay.
Abby Wambach
So what do you mean? Oh, we're gonna have to wrap this up. This has been a really nice conversation. We had learned a lot.
Unknown
You come back and I get to answer, and then we really did great. I feel like. Do. Do we have, like, a score? Because I like to.
Abby Wambach
Yes. You won. We won.
Unknown
Well, no, no, this is not winning.
Abby Wambach
We won, babe.
Unknown
No, I'm gonna come back.
Oh, oh, oh.
And do the questions, and then we have to compare the scoring.
Abby Wambach
Yeah. I will figure out a way to score you so that somebody wins.
Unknown
Okay.
Abby Wambach
But right now, y' all are winning together.
Unknown
All we tied with winning.
Abby Wambach
Tied at first place with winning together as unit.
Unknown
Thank you for doing that.
That was fun.
Abby Wambach
I learned a lot about both of you. So fun. I love you. And good job, everyone.
Unknown
Yeah.
Abby Wambach
I think you are officially still newlyweds, because you still know shit about each other, which I find incredibly impressive after this long.
Unknown
Well, I think that when we come back. Will this be a second episode when we come back?
Yeah, we'll do another one.
Okay, so then here we go. You got to close us out.
Okay. Love bugs, we adore you. Thank you for listening to that. I'm not sure what you got out of it, but I hope you got something. And we will see you back next time. And I guess, Abby, you'll answer questions about me.
Can't wait.
Okay. Good luck doing as good as I did. Bye. See you next time. If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to us if you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do these three things. First, can you please follow or subscribe to We Can Do Hard Things? Following the POD helps you because you'll never miss an episode, and it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. To do this, just go to the We Can Do Hard Things show page on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Odyssey, or wherever you listen. Listen to podcasts and then just tap the plus sign in the upper right hand corner or click on follow. This is the most important thing for the pod. While you're there, if you'd be willing to give us a five star rating and review and share an episode you loved with a friend, we would be so grateful. We appreciate you very much. We Can Do Hard Things is created and hosted by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle in partnership with Odyssey. Our executive producer is Jenna Wise Berman, and the show is produced by Lauren Legrasso, Allison Schott, and Bill Schultz.
We Can Do Hard Things: Episode Summary – "The Not-So-Newlywed Game with Glennon & Abby: Who Wins?"
Release Date: August 5, 2025
Host/Authors: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle
In this engaging episode of "We Can Do Hard Things," host Glennon Doyle teams up with her wife, former soccer star Abby Wambach, and sister Amanda Doyle to play a heartfelt and humorous version of the classic Newlywed Game. The episode delves into the dynamics of their relationship, highlighting both the strengths and quirks that make their partnership unique.
Abby Wambach kicks off the episode by revealing her childhood dream of becoming a TV game show host, injecting a playful tone into the conversation (02:17). She introduces the concept of "The Not-So-Newlywed Game," where one partner answers questions about the other, aiming to see how well they truly know each other. The game promises laughter, insights, and glimpses into their personal lives.
Abby explains the rules: one partner leaves the room while the other answers questions as if they were Abby, then Abby returns to validate or refute the answers (05:02). The trio embarks on a rapid-fire round, covering topics like animal preferences, childhood dreams, and hidden talents.
Notable Moments:
Animal Preferences: When asked what animal Abby would be, the answer unanimously is a golden retriever (06:00). Amanda exclaims, "Oh, God, that's so true" (06:01), highlighting Abby's friendly and loyal nature.
Dream Jobs: Abby reminisces about her initial aspiration to become an FBI agent before dedicating herself to soccer (07:11). This reveals a blend of ambition and eventual acceptance of one's true passions.
Favorite Foods: The discussion about what Abby would choose as her sole food for life brings out personal preferences. One member humorously chooses wagyu steak (09:06), while another opts for hot dogs, emphasizing the diversity in their tastes (32:21).
As the game progresses, the questions delve deeper into personal habits and unique traits.
Key Insights:
Quirks: Abby's repetitive actions during stress, such as pacing or rubbing her nose, are highlighted. One partner mentions, "She'll be like, okay, okay, okay" (08:50), showcasing how each copes differently under pressure (08:10 – 08:50).
Hidden Talents: Planning adventures and vacations emerge as Abby's hidden talents, reflecting her organizational skills and passion for creating memorable experiences (06:38 – 10:02).
Self-Care Practices: The conversation reveals contrasting self-care methods. While one partner engages in physical self-care like sauna and cold plunges (52:14), Abby focuses on emotional and mental wellness through emotional intelligence (53:05 – 53:34).
Notable Quotes:
The game shifts towards sharing and recounting personal stories that have become family traditions.
Highlights:
Repeat Stories: Abby fondly discusses how certain stories, like playing beer pong with Ina Garten at a Taylor Swift concert, are told repeatedly, serving as a comforting family tradition (17:41 – 19:43).
Hero Figures: They explore childhood heroes, revealing how influences like Michael Jordan shaped their aspirations and personalities (49:43 – 51:32).
Dinner Decisions: The humorous struggle over deciding dinner underscores the everyday challenges and compromises in their relationship (11:13 – 15:19).
Notable Quotes:
As the game concludes, the discussion turns to recognizing and appreciating each other's strengths and acknowledging areas for growth.
Key Points:
Acknowledging Strengths: Both partners express admiration for each other's generosity, emotional intelligence, and ability to see the best in people (15:24 – 16:39).
Handling Conflicts: They candidly discuss how differences, such as in self-care practices and coping mechanisms, are navigated with love and understanding (28:05 – 30:49).
Future Episodes: Plans for revisiting the game with each partner answering questions about the other promise continued exploration of their relationship dynamics (54:44 – 55:23).
Notable Quotes:
The episode wraps up with heartfelt affirmations and plans for future interactions. The hosts encourage listeners to engage with the podcast by following, subscribing, and sharing their experiences, reinforcing the community aspect of facing life's challenges together.
Final Thoughts:
Strength in Vulnerability: By openly sharing their personal stories and vulnerabilities, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda exemplify the podcast's mission of embracing honesty to lighten life's burdens.
Continued Growth: The promise of future episodes hints at an ongoing journey of discovery and deeper connection, both for the hosts and their listeners.
Notable Quote:
Fun and Games: The Not-So-Newlywed Game format provided a lighthearted yet profound look into the hosts' relationship dynamics.
Humor and Heart: Balancing humor with heartfelt moments, the episode showcased the authenticity and depth of Glennon and Abby's bond.
Personal Insights: Listeners gained valuable insights into coping mechanisms, self-care practices, and the importance of understanding and supporting one another.
This episode of "We Can Do Hard Things" not only entertains but also offers a genuine portrayal of navigating a committed relationship with honesty, humor, and unwavering support. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the podcast, "The Not-So-Newlywed Game" provides relatable content that underscores the beauty and complexity of love and partnership.