Podcast Summary: "Trusting Yourself Again with Dr. Hillary McBride"
Podcast Information:
- Title: We Can Do Hard Things
- Host/Author: Glennon Doyle and Audacy
- Episode: Trusting Yourself Again with Dr. Hillary McBride
- Release Date: May 20, 2025
Introduction
In this heartfelt and insightful episode of We Can Do Hard Things, hosts Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle welcome Dr. Hillary McBride, a renowned psychologist, researcher, podcaster, author, and speaker. Dr. McBride brings her extensive expertise in trauma, embodiment, eating disorders, and the intersection of spiritual and mental health to the conversation, particularly focusing on her latest book, Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing.
Understanding Spiritual Trauma
Dr. McBride begins by defining spiritual trauma, emphasizing that spirituality is an innate human desire for connection, meaning, and flourishing, distinct from organized religion. She explains:
“Spirituality is not religion. And spirituality isn't owned by any system or institution. Spirituality is born into us."
[04:27]
Spiritual trauma occurs when experiences overwhelm an individual, leading to fragmentation—disconnecting from oneself and others. Dr. McBride asserts:
“Any trauma is spiritual trauma. Anything that we've ever been through that has fractured us from ourselves, from the land, from each other...”
[06:32]
Manifestations of Fragmentation
Fragmentation manifests in various ways, such as disconnection from one's body, suppressed desires, and internalized shame. Dr. McBride highlights:
“I can't feel my body. I want my body to go away. My body can't be trusted.”
[08:13]
Amanda Doyle adds that fragmentation also involves hiding parts of oneself, leading to a diminished sense of humanity.
The Role of Family and Religion
The conversation delves into how family systems and religious institutions contribute to spiritual trauma by enforcing messages that undermine self-trust and autonomy. Dr. McBride explains:
“If someone says you cannot trust yourself, you're bad, or your body is dangerous, that's spiritual trauma.”
[07:54]
Abby Wambach shares her personal experience with family fundamentalism, noting:
“I have to deal with so much of this, like internalized homophobia that I had learned from such a young age...”
[14:41]
Amanda extends the discussion by comparing family systems to religious ones, emphasizing that:
“Isn't every family a religion and every adult just healing from it?”
[16:28]
Breaking Cyclical Patterns
Dr. McBride and the hosts explore strategies to break free from these entrenched systems. Key strategies include:
-
Emotion Regulation: Learning to manage and tolerate discomfort to engage in healthy conflict.
“We can't do conflict in a healthy way if as soon as I feel threatened, I have to blame you and push you away.”
[38:47] -
Open Communication: Sharing personal struggles and ongoing growth to model vulnerability and resilience.
“You're showing her yourself in process... there's something about being in process that she can let people into.”
[53:15] -
Self-Compassion: Accepting one's flaws and working towards healing without self-judgment.
“We are allowing ourselves to be human, messy, and flawed while supporting others in their journeys.”
[56:54]
Building Healthy Communities
The hosts discuss the importance of creating communities where individuals can belong without sacrificing their authenticity. Dr. McBride emphasizes:
“Wonder and curiosity are a big part of the way forward... how am I like you? And how are you like me?”
[49:38]
Amanda Doyle shares a personal story about addressing her own judgmental behavior with her daughter, illustrating the power of explicit conversations in fostering understanding and reducing fragmentation.
Personal Reflections and Stories
Throughout the episode, personal anecdotes highlight the challenges and triumphs of overcoming spiritual trauma:
-
Amanda's Story: Amanda recounts a poignant moment with her daughter, Emma, where she openly discusses her judgmental tendencies, empowering Emma to recognize and question inherited biases.
“When you see me or hear me doing that, I want you to look at me and think, oh, that's what my mom does.”
[23:44] -
Abby's Experience: Abby speaks about internalized homophobia from her upbringing and the ongoing process of unlearning harmful beliefs.
“It's still so deeply entrenched in me... I have a double consciousness.”
[15:17]
Conclusions and Takeaways
The episode concludes with actionable insights for listeners seeking to heal from spiritual trauma:
-
Reconnect with the Body: Engage in activities that foster bodily awareness and presence.
“Take a moment after listening to this and notice what's inside. What does it remind you of? How does it feel?”
[60:41] -
Foster Critical Thinking: Encourage questioning and personal discernment instead of blindly following authority figures.
“The ability to think critically and push back is essential for us to be whole, healthy people.”
[25:07] -
Cultivate Compassionate Leadership: Leaders should model vulnerability and ongoing personal growth to create environments where others feel safe to express themselves.
“Leaders being human and showing their in-process selves inoculates systems from becoming toxic.”
[54:17] -
Build Inclusive Communities: Strive to create spaces where diversity of thought and experience is honored, allowing for both connection and individuality.
“How do we create communities where you do not choose between being held and free?”
[38:47]
Final Thoughts
Dr. Hillary McBride's conversation on We Can Do Hard Things offers a profound exploration of spiritual trauma and its pervasive impact on individuals and communities. By addressing the roots of fragmentation and advocating for compassionate, self-aware practices, the episode provides valuable guidance for those seeking to trust themselves again and foster healthier, more inclusive relationships.
For further insights, listeners are encouraged to explore Dr. McBride’s book Holy Hurt and continue the journey of healing and self-discovery.