Your Hilarious (& Heartwarming) Holiday Stories! (Best Of)

Summary

We Can Do Hard Things: Your Hilarious (& Heartwarming) Holiday Stories! (Best Of) - Detailed Summary

Episode Overview In the heartwarming holiday special of We Can Do Hard Things, hosts Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle come together to share a collection of their most memorable, funny, and touching holiday stories. Joined by their extended Pod Squad family, the trio delves into personal anecdotes that highlight the joys and challenges of the holiday season. From blended family dynamics to unexpected mishaps, the episode is a tapestry of laughter, tears, and invaluable life lessons.

Shared Holiday Stories

1. Blended Family Ornament Story

   • Hosts Involved: Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach
   • Timestamp: [02:34] – [09:12]

   Glennon recounts the awkwardness of blending families during the holidays post-divorce. An emotional turning point comes when Craig presents a custom ornament featuring six snowpeople representing the entire family, including Glennon and Abby. This heartfelt gesture symbolizes unity and acceptance, transforming the holiday atmosphere from tense to joyful.

   Notable Quote:

   Glennon Doyle: "It is really hard when you pull out all of the kids first ornaments and their second ornaments and all of the family ornaments that have happened well before I came around."

2. Amanda's Divorce Revelation Ornament

   • Hosts Involved: Amanda Doyle and Abby Wambach
   • Timestamp: [10:00] – [14:59]

   Amanda shares a poignant story about discovering a baby’s first Christmas ornament in her home post-divorce. This unexpected revelation led her to confront the complexities of her separation, ultimately embracing the imperfections and integrating her past into her present. The ornament remains a symbol of her journey through brokenness towards wholeness.

   Notable Quote:

   Amanda Doyle: "All I'm saying is that that was my first personalized ornament. Didn't go quite as well as yours."

3. Glennon's Santa Test

   • Hosts Involved: Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach
   • Timestamp: [20:03] – [26:05]

   Glennon opens up about her childhood experience of testing Santa's existence. Desperate to prove Santa isn't real, she refrained from making a wish list, leading to a Christmas filled with unwanted Barbie gifts. This story underscores themes of authenticity and the importance of voicing one's true desires.

   Notable Quote:

   Glennon Doyle: "If somebody gives me something that I'm never going to use, like kids, they gave me some stuff last year that I just... It wasn't cool."

4. Tina's Stepfather and the Ham Mishap

   • Guest Speaker: Tina
   • Timestamp: [26:14] – [28:00]

   Tina recounts her stepfather’s hilarious mistake of baking a ham with the plastic bag still on, resulting in melted plastic coating the meat. Her keen eye for detail as a young cooking enthusiast adds a humorous twist to what could have been a disaster, highlighting the lighter side of family gatherings.

   Notable Quote:

   Tina: "He put the entire thing on and baked it and didn't know."

5. Anna's 'Yum Daddy' White Russian Incident

   • Guest Speaker: Anna
   • Timestamp: [28:31] – [29:34]

   Anna tells a funny tale about accidentally referring to her father-in-law as "Daddy" while sipping a White Russian, leading to a room-wide awkward silence followed by laughter. This story emphasizes the unexpected moments that can bring humor and connection during family festivities.

   Notable Quote:

   Anna: "As I'm looking at him, yum, Daddy. And the room goes silent... we all just erupt in laughter."

6. Desti's 'Happy Ho' House Lights

   • Guest Speaker: Desti
   • Timestamp: [29:40] – [30:30]

   Desti shares the story of her family's holiday light display fiasco, where they ran out of lights while spelling "Happy Holidays," resulting in the unintended message "Happy Ho." This amusing mishap has since become a favorite family tradition, showcasing the blend of creativity and imperfection that defines their celebrations.

   Notable Quote:

   Desti: "Our house said Happy Ho all season. And this is easily my favorite style."

7. Taylor's TikTok Trend Turmoil

   • Guest Speaker: Taylor
   • Timestamp: [30:41] – [33:24]

   Taylor describes how a TikTok trend sparked by her 17-year-old sister led to a family Christmas falling apart. The attempt to incorporate trendy gestures resulted in emotional breakdowns, highlighting the generational gaps and the complexities of modern family interactions during the holidays.

   Notable Quote:

   Taylor: "Now we have two separate holidays. All because my 17-year-old sister wanted to follow a TikTok trend."

8. Emma's Green Bean Casserole Recipe Mix-Up

   • Guest Speaker: Emma
   • Timestamp: [33:41] – [43:37]

   Emma humorously shares her attempt to recreate her family's green bean casserole only to receive the canned version from her relatives. This story underscores the often humorous disconnect between tradition and modern conveniences in holiday preparations.

   Notable Quote:

   Emma: "To which my entire family replies, 'do you mean the green bean casserole recipe that's on the can of fried onions.'"

9. Jen's Bitter Sweet Cooking Memories

   • Guest Speaker: Jen
   • Timestamp: [43:52] – [45:57]

   Jen narrates the bittersweet experience of cooking traditional Czech recipes with her terminally ill mother. Despite culinary mishaps like burning gravy and rubbery dumplings, these moments fostered laughter and love, creating lasting memories amidst hardship.

   Notable Quote:

   Jen: "We had a wonderful, albeit chewy and burnt meal. But it was a beautiful last memory with her."

10. Jackie's Misunderstanding of 'Magic Bullet'

    • Guest Speaker: Jackie
    • Timestamp: [46:12] – [48:18]

    Jackie recounts a humorous misunderstanding where her mother-in-law referred to wanting a "Magic Bullet," which Jackie initially thought was a sex toy, only to realize it was a blender. This story highlights the amusing miscommunications that can occur within new family dynamics.

    Notable Quote:

    Jackie: "She was talking about a blender. Oh, is that what it's called?"

11. Krista's Ham-Heist Dog

    • Guest Speaker: Krista
    • Timestamp: [48:26] – [51:21]

    Krista shares a chaotic Thanksgiving memory where her dog devours a neighbor's honey-baked ham. The incident not only disrupts her family's dinner but also leaves the neighbor without their traditional meal, showcasing the unpredictable nature of pets during holidays.

    Notable Quote:

    Krista: "We have no idea which of our neighbors had to order pizza for their Thanksgiving dinner because our dog ate their ham."

12. Teresa’s Goulash Gift Amid Divorce

    • Guest Speaker: Teresa
    • Timestamp: [51:25] – [54:44]

    Teresa opens up about receiving a bowl of her ex-husband’s grandmother’s goulash during her divorce-induced loneliness on Christmas Eve. This unexpected gesture serves as a poignant reminder of support and thoughtfulness during challenging times.

    Notable Quote:

    Teresa: "I think it was the best gift I ever received was that tub full of grandma's goulash."

Host Reflections and Discussions

Throughout the episode, the hosts reflect on the shared stories, drawing parallels between personal experiences and universal holiday challenges. They emphasize the importance of authenticity, embracing imperfections, and finding joy amidst chaos. The discussion highlights how humor and vulnerability can transform difficult moments into treasured memories, fostering deeper connections with loved ones.

Concluding Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda express heartfelt gratitude for their Pod Squad family and listeners. They reinforce the show's mission to create a space where hard truths can be shared openly, allowing everyone to feel less alone in their struggles. The hosts encourage listeners to reach out to those who might be feeling lonely during the holidays and to cherish the small moments of joy that make life meaningful.

Notable Closing Quotes:

Abby Wambach: "I love you, sister. I love you Abby and you."

Glennon Doyle: "Your presence will be our best present."

Amanda Doyle: "We love you, Abby. I love you Glennon. I love you, Pod Squad."

Final Remarks

We Can Do Hard Things successfully combines humor, sincerity, and relatability, offering listeners a mix of laughter and heartfelt moments. This holiday special serves as a reminder that despite the complexities and hardships, shared stories and genuine connections can illuminate even the darkest times.

Transcript

[Glennon Doyle]

It's hard to find a great mentor who can help me level up. My dream mentor, Amy Poehler. I was so excited when I heard that she has a class on Masterclass. With Masterclass, you can learn from the best to become your best. It's the only streaming platform where you can grow with over 200 of the world's top experts for just $10 a month. An annual membership gets you unlimited access to every instructor, whether you're watching on your phone, computer, smart tv, or even in audio mode. One of the classes that just really stood out to me was Building Life Changing Habits with New York Times bestselling author James Clear. I use this and you should too. Masterclass always has great offers during the holidays, sometimes up to as much as 50% off. Head over to masterclass.com hardthings for the current offer. That's up to 50% off at masterclass.com hardthings masterclass.com hardthings what does the future hold for business? Ask nine experts and you'll get 10 different answers. Bull market or bear market? Rising or falling rates? Inflation up or down? Can someone please invent a crystal ball? Until that happens, over 40,000 businesses have future proofed themselves with NetSuite, the number one Cloud ERP. With this unified business management suite, you gain a single source of truth that provides the visibility and control you need to make quick decisions. Imagine having real time insights and forecasting at your fingertips, allowing you to peer into the future with actionable data. When you're closing the books in days, not weeks, you can focus more on what's next instead of looking backward. Speaking of opportunity, download the CFO's Guide to AI and Machine Learning at netsuite.com hardthings the guide is free to you at netsuite.com hardThings netsuite.com hardthings Joy to the world. Welcome back kids.

[Abby Wambach]

It's holiday season.

[Glennon Doyle]

It's holiday season. Welcome back to the show. We can do hard things.

[Abby Wambach]

Wow. Wow.

[Amanda Doyle]

Baby sounds like an 80s disc jockey. Let's stitch ready to rumble. Here we are with the top 40. Oh man, I love everyone. Set your tape recorders. Pressing play and record at the same.

[Glennon Doyle]

Time so you can remember case.

[Abby Wambach]

And do you remember you'd have to wait to hear your favorite song. I used to wait and listen and listen for running just as fast as we can holding on to one another's hand trying to get away into the.

[Amanda Doyle]

Night and then you put your arms.

[Abby Wambach]

Around me and we tumble to the ground and then we say okay. And then you have to push play and record. And you'd get that. Okay. We are here with you, our favorite people on this entire beautiful Earth, the Pod Squad. And what we're doing today. We have gathered your beautiful, brutal, hilarious, embarrassing holiday stories.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, yes.

[Abby Wambach]

And we have lots of strategies to get through stuff. And that's what we do here. We try to make life a little bit easier by talking about the hard. And one of the things that we know know that gets us through is absurdity. We are gonna be here together. We are gonna laugh, we are gonna cry. We are going to remember that life isn't really all that serious. And that's our goal for today, is just laugh together and release fun to.

[Glennon Doyle]

Enjoy to the world.

[Abby Wambach]

Let's tell our stories first. Okay.

[Amanda Doyle]

I don't have any stories, so you go.

[Abby Wambach]

Well, I.

[Amanda Doyle]

Although my husband just listened. He came home last night, got in bed, and he's like, really? With the heart sticker? Really?

[Abby Wambach]

Wait, what?

[Amanda Doyle]

The embarrassing story with the no underwear sorority picture.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, John, listen to that one. Oh, yeah.

[Amanda Doyle]

Anyway. But I don't. I don't think you have any holidays, but I'll jump in if you jog the old memory.

[Abby Wambach]

Well, okay. Mine is actually a little bit. It's not funny. It's sweet. But I was thinking. I was thinking sister's like, fuck you. Listen, no one has more embarrassing stories than us. We've actually gotten messages that say, how can Glennon have so many embarrassing stories? And to you, I want to say, well, yeah, exactly. Okay, Exactly. So I. The second Christmas after the divorce, first one was just really hard for everybody. So we're going to skip over that one. We're going to go to the one after the first one, which was the second Christmas with all of us together. And we were gathering at our house, which had used to be me and Craig's house, because that's how we had to do it during that time. Awkward.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

It was just like. As every family that divorces and then tries to do the things together afterwards.

[Glennon Doyle]

It'S awkward at first. Mine feel it's awkward at first, big time.

[Abby Wambach]

And it's awkward. And then it's worse than awkward. It's painful. There's all these weird moments where you have to do things differently. And the kids are looking at you like, what the hell are we doing? How are we doing this? And then you're, like, trying to make it seem normal. And anyway, so second holiday, we're opening presents, and I open up the present from Craig to me, and the kids are all around And I open it up, and it's this thing that Craig has had made at the mall, and it's this ornament, and it's six snow people. He had had Craig, Glennon, Abby Chase, Emma, and Tish written on each of the snowmen's scarves.

[Glennon Doyle]

So sweet.

[Abby Wambach]

And so I opened it up, and the kids were watching, and it was just the snow people of our family all on one ornament that he had put us all on. And it was just. Well, I think one of my top three holiday moments ever, because it was just like, oh, this is how we're gonna do it. And he gave us that gift of, like, here we are, the snow people family. Little weird, but we are six now.

[Glennon Doyle]

There's nothing like cutting a slice of the awkward with this beautiful ornament.

[Abby Wambach]

I know.

[Glennon Doyle]

You know, I just. I was so, so touched by that.

[Abby Wambach]

I know.

[Glennon Doyle]

Cause it was like Craig saying, like, you're part of our family, Abby, and this is the way we're gonna do it.

[Abby Wambach]

I know. And it gave the kids permission to see us that way, and it gave us all permission to not see us as, like, we're this slice and that slice that is kind of. But we're like this one big snow person family.

[Glennon Doyle]

I actually think that this is the moment that he made the holidays forevermore. Not awkward.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, maybe it was like this.

[Glennon Doyle]

This, like, gift that he gave everybody that was like, this is our family and this is how we roll.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yes. And also, this is our family, and I declare it publicly on an ornament on our tree forever. Yes. It wasn't like a this is our family, and we'll just kind of.

[Abby Wambach]

Well, we'll roll with that.

[Amanda Doyle]

I guess it was like, no, we are. You know, because is there anything more official about a family than when you get the ornament with everyone's name on it?

[Abby Wambach]

It was pride. It was like, no, we're proud of our snow person family. Right. Who says you have to be two snow people and 2.5 kids? We are all these snow people and prove that we're not, because the mall says we are.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes.

[Amanda Doyle]

And, you know, he had to custom order that because they usually don't come with three big snow.

[Abby Wambach]

No, no, no. To be clear, my snow person was a child fake kid.

[Amanda Doyle]

Okay.

[Abby Wambach]

Well, it was. Craig and Abby were the parents. Yes.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

Craig and Abby were the parents. And then I was a child snow person.

[Glennon Doyle]

This is like a shout out to all of, like, the quote unquote, step parents, or we call myself Bon A bonus parent.

[Amanda Doyle]

I think we call them snow people from now on.

[Glennon Doyle]

Snow people. Yeah. When we are decorating the tree.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Glennon Doyle]

It is really hard when you pull out all of the kids first ornaments and their second ornaments and all of the family ornaments that have happened well before I came around.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Glennon Doyle]

And so here is now this moment that I am included in putting my claim and my stake in this family on the tree during the time of which could be really othering or outsidering, you know?

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Glennon Doyle]

So I don't know. I just. There are. There are a few moments like that. Like when you guys start talking about the kids before I came around. It's like. It's like a. Like a shot to the heart.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Glennon Doyle]

And so here. I don't know, I just think it's such a beautiful thing that Craig was able to do for me because he brought me in in all these ways that I'm sure he never even thought of. But it was just. It's so touching. And so.

[Abby Wambach]

Craig Melton. Shout out to Craig Melton. I'm sure he doesn't listen to this. The last thing he needs is more of my voice in his ear. But if you are a friend of Craig, tell him we say thank you.

[Amanda Doyle]

Exactly. I just thought of a Christmas ornament story of my own.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, Lord.

[Glennon Doyle]

You did?

[Amanda Doyle]

Do you remember when you're talking about gifts of personalized Christmas ornaments, I just.

[Abby Wambach]

Had a flash of what you're gonna say. I cannot believe you're gonna tell the pods about this.

[Amanda Doyle]

I love this.

[Glennon Doyle]

No, Shout to the heart. Because I probably wasn't around even when you guys were little kids. I have so much FOMO obsession.

[Abby Wambach]

Sweetheart, you're gonna be glad you weren't around for this one.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, really? Okay.

[Amanda Doyle]

So. So, Abby. So when my first husband and I split, it was. We've gone over this. Please. See, in the middle of the episode. But the weird thing is I didn't know anything was amiss. So it was summertime. We had a 10 minute conversation about it.

[Abby Wambach]

About the infidelity?

[Amanda Doyle]

No, not the stage. A little bit about the marriage is over. Then another 10 minute conversation. Then I never see him again. 15 years ago by now. And I thought it was just, you know.

[Abby Wambach]

The.

[Amanda Doyle]

I don't know what the hell I thought it was.

[Abby Wambach]

We didn't know what it was.

[Amanda Doyle]

But anyway, it was done. I'm stuck with this house that's very underwater. I'm trying to rent it out. I go to rent it out. I'm at the house, like trying to get it set up. I'm there. And this package comes, but it's for a name that is not the correct name. So I'm like, that's weird. But I can't find an address. I just, like, open it up, see if I can figure it out to send it back. And it, Abby, is a baby's first Christmas ornament. With a note congratulating my husband on his new baby.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, my God. He was pregnant when he broke up with you?

[Amanda Doyle]

It is unclear. I did go at that point when I was like, what the hell's going on? I looked online, and there was a baby registry strongly correlated with a conception.

[Glennon Doyle]

Wow.

[Amanda Doyle]

Before we were divorced. But one cannot know. One cannot know. Seriously, one cannot know. All I'm saying.

[Abby Wambach]

Christmas, immaculate conception.

[Guest Speaker]

I'm sure. Yes.

[Amanda Doyle]

All I'm saying is that that was my first personalized ornament. Didn't go quite as well as yours.

[Glennon Doyle]

I mean, questions answered.

[Abby Wambach]

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Sister opened a baby's first Christmas ornament, and that is how she found out.

[Glennon Doyle]

Whoopsie daisies.

[Abby Wambach]

You know, we've been through it, Sissy. We really. We have been through it. With the marriage situation.

[Glennon Doyle]

She really got really close of getting away with it, you know?

[Amanda Doyle]

I mean, what is. No one gets away with anything.

[Abby Wambach]

Aunt Bertha sends a Christmas ornament.

[Amanda Doyle]

But that whole thing, I don't know.

[Guest Speaker]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

How do you feel about it now? Talk to us about now. You're 15 Christmases later. I mean, by the way, I remember that day, like, with. I remember standing in my kitchen at the sink, and you telling me this story, and just the blood rushing from my body, like, my brain trying to put together, like, the puzzle of what had happened. I don't even remember how we got through that day. I don't.

[Amanda Doyle]

Not well.

[Abby Wambach]

Not well.

[Amanda Doyle]

I. You know what? I just feel like. Who knows? This is my theory about life.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah.

[Amanda Doyle]

Who knows? I still don't know what happened. I still have no idea what happened. I just think it's it. Like, I still have the ornament. I put it. Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

What?

[Amanda Doyle]

Yeah. It's on my fucking tree.

[Guest Speaker]

No.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, my God. You are such a badass. It's on your tree.

[Guest Speaker]

Why?

[Glennon Doyle]

Why do you still have that?

[Amanda Doyle]

Because you know what? I just feel like. I feel like compartmentalizing our lives is dangerous. I just don't feel like there's any before or after. And there's no, like, he's bad and I'm good, and there's no.

[Abby Wambach]

Even.

[Amanda Doyle]

If I could know whether he was Cheating on me. And that's why he left. And that's why this baby came. And that's why who knows what any of it means. I just.

[Abby Wambach]

It was.

[Amanda Doyle]

It was real in my life. And it reminds me of my most brokenness. And it's up there with my baby's beautiful faces and the things they've made for me. And I just feel like it's like, why do we push away those and pretend like that's not all part of the same stew? That is who we are.

[Glennon Doyle]

This is the most evolved thing I've ever heard. That is so, so beautiful.

[Abby Wambach]

Beautiful. Wow. The cracks are how the light gets in.

[Amanda Doyle]

And who knows what's a crack?

[Abby Wambach]

Like, honestly, who knows what's crack?

[Amanda Doyle]

And I try to be open with my kids about it. About, like, you know, what happened and what was that like? And just because it's a very windy path in this life and there's no, like, well, that marriage was fucked up and this one's great. And do you see the trajectory of life and how it took that hard walk to get to this beautiful life? Like, no, it's just.

[Abby Wambach]

And then the next step is off the cliff, Right? The pride comes before the fall.

[Amanda Doyle]

It's beautiful. And a big fucking mess all at once.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yes.

[Amanda Doyle]

And it's including our tree.

[Abby Wambach]

And we can't decide what's good. You know what we thought was good that wedding day?

[Amanda Doyle]

And it was.

[Abby Wambach]

But like, it's that story about the sage and that every time something wonderful happened, the sage would say, it's good news, you won the lottery. And he would go, is that so bad news the lot? All your money means that somebody stole it. Is that so good news? Is that so? It's like we don't know what's good, what's bad, so we throw it all in the tree.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yeah, sister.

[Abby Wambach]

That is amazing. I never knew that about you. I learned something new about you today. I did not know you kept that shit on your tree.

[Glennon Doyle]

That's amazing.

[Abby Wambach]

That actually so badass.

[Glennon Doyle]

It gives me some hope.

[Abby Wambach]

Baby's first Christmas.

[Amanda Doyle]

I don't know about y'all, but after the holiday rush, I can get a little glum. That's when I love treating myself to something special. But I do not break the bank. And that's where Quince comes in. May I please have the honor of introducing you to the comfort stretch trench coat at Quint's? The average retail on this beauty is $228. But Quince's version, with five star average reviews, is under 100 bucks. What I love about Quince is how they make everyday luxuries so affordable. All their pieces are priced 50 to 80% less than other high end brands because they partner directly with top factories, cutting out the middleman. Plus, Quince only works with factories that prioritize ethical, responsible manufacturing. Treat yourself this winter without the luxury price tag. Go to quint.com hardthings for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q U I n c e.com hardthings to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com hard things okay, I'm excited to tell you today about MIDI Health. If you have heard our menopause episodes, you know how passionate I feel about women having access to information about their bodies and about something that so fundamentally affects their lives. Here's the deal. If you're over 40 and you're starting to experience some of the symptoms of perimenopause or menopause, if you're having hot flashes, insomnia, brain fog, moodiness, all of this can be related to perimenopause or menopause, log on to MIDI Health. I have done this. It is easy. In fact, I have recently been pursuing with MIDI Health hormone therapy to replace some of the hormones that are diminishing in my body. They're clinicians. They meet with you and they suggest specialized care for your health concerns. It's all through telehealth and 247 messaging and they call in your prescriptions to your local pharmacy. You deserve to feel great. Book your virtual visit today at join midi. That's joinmidi.com Today's episode is brought to you by Alma.

[Abby Wambach]

Finding the right therapist can be hard. I know this from experience. Some of the challenges include sifting through hundreds of options or no options at all, not being able to understand therapy approaches, specializations, degrees, or being assigned a therapist without really getting to test the waters. But it's easier to get started with ALMA because with ALMA you can browse the directory without creating an account or sharing payment information. I actually really appreciate that you can filter your search by your needs and preferences such as anxiety, relationships, gender more. Over 95% of therapists at Alma accept insurance, including Aetna, Cigna, UnitedHealthcare and many others. And you can book a free consultation call, which I also really appreciate. With any therapist you're interested in seeing. These 15 minute calls give you a chance to see if they're a good fit for you so you can find somebody you really click with Alma can help you find the right therapist for you. Not just anyone. Visit helloalma.com hardthings to get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello a l m a.com hardthings. Do you want to tell a story or do you want to move on to.

[Glennon Doyle]

I do want to tell a quick story. I do. Because this has just got to be a big shout out to my mama because.

[Amanda Doyle]

Aw, Mama won.

[Glennon Doyle]

Talk about the hope and the dream of a perfect holiday. My mom was like, really? Always and still is. So it is the most important thing to her to have family organized parties and traditions. And so what I'm about to tell you is just like a big apology to my mother because I wasn't the easiest kid. And now being a parent, I understand more than I did as a child, like most of us do. And so here I was this one year. I think I must have been 10, maybe, maybe even younger. I don't know exactly how old I was, but I was going to be testing the idea of whether Santa was real or not.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, get your kids out of. If they're. If they are. If you haven't gotten them out already with all the fucks, please get them out now because we're going to have Santa discussion.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah, good call.

[Abby Wambach]

Talking about fucking Santa.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah. Mute. Mute or fast forward. My mom told us all we need to make a list. And I was like, did she tell.

[Amanda Doyle]

You to check it twice?

[Glennon Doyle]

I was like, all right, yeah, no problem, I'll make a list. And she's like, where's your list? And I was like, I'm not going to give it to you because if Santa is real, then he will know what my list is. She was like, okay, got it. But I really didn't make a list because I knew she would find it because she's good.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, she's not necessarily.

[Glennon Doyle]

She's legit.

[Amanda Doyle]

You got it figured out by the time you come to your seventh kid.

[Glennon Doyle]

So fast forward to Christmas morning, sitting around. I've got six brothers and sisters. It's just mayhem. There's just presents everywhere. And for whatever reason, this year, I had already gotten over Barbie. I was a huge Barbie fan. I had like the house. I had the Corvette.

[Abby Wambach]

I bet you were.

[Glennon Doyle]

And I was switching Ken and Barbie's heads back and forth. Like, of course, this non binary thing was already.

[Abby Wambach]

How do I make this work?

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah, this doesn't look right for some reason.

[Abby Wambach]

Do I want to play with Barbie or do I want Barbie?

[Glennon Doyle]

Do I want to Play with Ken, or do I want to be like Ken? So all of these things. But anyways, this year, I got over Barbie. First president shows up. I get to go because we go in order from youngest to oldest, and then oldest, youngest, everybody get the right turn. And I open the present, and I see the color pink Barbie. And I opened it halfway, and I was like, this is a Barbie. And I threw it to the side, and I was like, I hate Barbie. Unbeknownst to me, at the time, my mom didn't know what to get me, so she was like, well, she likes Barbies. I'll just get her all Barbie stuff. Every present was Barbie, so every single present was Barbie. So every single time I'd open the present halfway, I'd throw it aside and go, I hate Barbie. Barbie.

[Amanda Doyle]

Ugh.

[Glennon Doyle]

You know? And so at this point, my mom's having a total freak out because she.

[Amanda Doyle]

Knows that every six presents is also Barbie.

[Glennon Doyle]

So she gets Beth on board. My eldest Sister Beth, she's 11 years older. She's like, go sit next to Abby and open up those presents and get her excited about poor oldest sisters.

[Amanda Doyle]

Oh, my God.

[Glennon Doyle]

Like, they're just trying to make it good and fun for all the youngest.

[Abby Wambach]

Are you okay?

[Amanda Doyle]

Are you okay?

[Glennon Doyle]

And so here I am having the worst Christmas ever. And this has set the tone for the rest of my life in terms of being a hard person to shop for.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, my God.

[Glennon Doyle]

My mom hates shopping for me because I was an asshole.

[Abby Wambach]

I had to teach her.

[Guest Speaker]

She.

[Abby Wambach]

I kid you not. The first Christmas together we got her presents, she would open them and be like.

[Glennon Doyle]

I'd be like, thank you.

[Abby Wambach]

I was like, honey, you act.

[Glennon Doyle]

Thank you so much.

[Abby Wambach]

Happy on Christmas.

[Glennon Doyle]

This is great.

[Abby Wambach]

You act excited. You lie. You do your face.

[Amanda Doyle]

You know, our family's weird that way. No one else is like that.

[Glennon Doyle]

I don't.

[Amanda Doyle]

Our family throws at parade for every stocking stuffer. It's not.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah. Is that right? I just don't know if that's right either. I think that there might be something in the middle. Right? Like, what is the best present you ever got me that I responded to?

[Abby Wambach]

The ice maker.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, that's good. The ice maker last year.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Glennon Doyle]

I really wanted that. I really did.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Glennon Doyle]

What else?

[Abby Wambach]

I don't ever remember anything except for what's happening right now.

[Glennon Doyle]

Okay.

[Amanda Doyle]

I'm just saying, Abby, that I don't know that that taught your mom a lesson. I think it taught you a lesson.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah.

[Amanda Doyle]

Like you were trying to be real slick and not write down your list for your mom or for Santa. And you got a bunch of shit you hated.

[Guest Speaker]

Wow.

[Abby Wambach]

That's what happened.

[Amanda Doyle]

So I bet you wrote a list next year.

[Glennon Doyle]

I probably did.

[Abby Wambach]

Expectations, Our resentment under construction. You did not share what you wanted. And when we don't share what we want, we get Barbies.

[Glennon Doyle]

Fucking Barbies. Before we end the story, Mom, I'm very sorry.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yeah.

[Glennon Doyle]

And I've set my whole life up for tough times in the present getting business because of this. And I can't help it. I can't fake it.

[Abby Wambach]

No, I can't fake it. That's what I love about you.

[Glennon Doyle]

If somebody gives me something that I'm never going to use, like kids, they gave me some stuff last year that.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, I know. You showed how you felt.

[Glennon Doyle]

I just. It wasn't cool.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay. You know, you showed how you felt. And this is what we love.

[Glennon Doyle]

Waste. I feel like it's a waste of time anyways.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, Mom.

[Glennon Doyle]

I love you and I'm sorry.

[Abby Wambach]

Let's hear holiday stories from the Pod Squad. Very excited. I think first we are hearing from Tina.

[Guest Speaker]

Hi, this is Tina. On Christmas day, when I was a young girl, my stepfather, he. He baked a ham. And he baked the entire thing in the oven with the lid on, completely in the bag. Oh. And the funniest thing is, is when he pulled it out me, who just happened to be standing there, and I am a connoisseur of cooking. Even at a young age, I was like, oh, my God, what is on the ham? And he was like, what do you mean? As he's basting it, I said, listen, you have to stop. There is a bag on the ham for the actual plastic that comes with the ham. He put the entire thing on and baked it and didn't know.

[Glennon Doyle]

That's the best. Okay, so Pod Squad Glennon is confused. So let me explain. Hams and turkeys, they come in that plastic. It's in a sealed, like, tight. Her stepdad put the ham in with the bag on, and so the plastic melted.

[Abby Wambach]

Well, did it say on the thing, take off the plastic?

[Glennon Doyle]

Yes.

[Amanda Doyle]

I mean, everything there's. That's not even a cooking thing. That said you just bought something from somewhere.

[Abby Wambach]

Thanks. No, it's like you have shoes. You gotta take it off.

[Amanda Doyle]

Take off the shoes before you wear them.

[Abby Wambach]

No, I mean, that's not true. There's bags of broccoli. You put the whole thing in the microwave. Right, right.

[Glennon Doyle]

I mean, when you're trying to steam a bag.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, yeah. He was steaming. Steaming the ham.

[Amanda Doyle]

And I stand oven but he put.

[Glennon Doyle]

Plastic in that's gonna melt.

[Abby Wambach]

I'm just gonna tell you. I will die on this mountain. I stand with Tina's stepfather.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah, we know.

[Amanda Doyle]

The best part is he was basting it. Let me just. Let me just pour some nice juicy fluids on this plastic, honey.

[Glennon Doyle]

Do you know what basting means, I hope?

[Abby Wambach]

Yes, that's the thing that people use to what lesbians used to get pregnant.

[Glennon Doyle]

A turkey baster. Yes, that's right.

[Amanda Doyle]

That's.

[Glennon Doyle]

That's an old school model before ivf.

[Abby Wambach]

So lesbians invented it, and then some people found out be good for turkeys.

[Amanda Doyle]

And then Tina's stepdad appropriated it for the turkey.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, let's hear from Anna.

[Guest Speaker]

Hi, Glennon, Abby and sister. My name is Anna and I'm a mother of three young kids. And so it's very common for me to refer to my husband as Daddy. And so this was a few years ago. We're at my mom and dad's house with all of my siblings and in laws and nieces and nephews and sitting around the table having White Russians. My parents had started a tradition of serving White Russians on Christmas day. So I'm sitting next to my dad and I take a sip of my White Russian and I say as I'm looking at him, yum, Daddy. And the room goes silent. Everybody looks at me. My face turns beet red. And then we all just erupt in laughter. And so now, every Christmas when White Russians are served, there is a lot of teasing about Yum Daddy.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yum Daddy.

[Abby Wambach]

Yum Daddy.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yum Daddy. Ew.

[Abby Wambach]

Ew.

[Guest Speaker]

So good.

[Abby Wambach]

Yum Daddy. No, stop saying that, please. Okay. All right, let's hear from Dusty.

[Glennon Doyle]

I call Craig Daddy.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes, you do. And it's really not so weird.

[Glennon Doyle]

So good.

[Guest Speaker]

My name is Desti. So When I was 12, my mom was really excited to do things up for Christmas. It's been a really hard year. So she wanted to do all the lights, think like Martha May Huvier from the Grinch.

[Amanda Doyle]

So I ended up on the roof.

[Guest Speaker]

With her trying to spell happy holidays with our strands of lights, except that we ran out of lights. So instead our house said Happy Ho all season. And this is easily my favorite style.

[Glennon Doyle]

That would have been my favorite house. That would have been my favorite house for her.

[Amanda Doyle]

Dusty, that's amazing.

[Abby Wambach]

I want to see all the Pod Squads pictures of themselves at Christmas with Happy Ho underneath all the selfies.

[Amanda Doyle]

So, yes, depending how you identify, you can either do Happy Ho or Yum Daddy.

[Glennon Doyle]

Ah, yes.

[Abby Wambach]

Okay, let's hear from Taylor Host.

[Guest Speaker]

Hi, my name is Taylor. A little bit of background. My parents divorced during COVID and we're all older, so we're in our 20s and late teens, the youngest and we're four kids. And we were newly navigating sort of this split holiday but doing it together situation. And my mom and me and my sister right underneath of me have all been highly therapeutized. We are zen, we are healthy, as healthy as you can be and really working on our stuff. So all of that said, my youngest sister is 17 and convinced the rest of us that it would be really funny to do the TikTok trends where all of the kids are sticking up their middle finger in the family photo. But it wasn't funny. We did it. My mom looked at the picture, she actually laughed. But my dad just hysterically broke down crying which caused my brother to cry. And all of the women are just standing there looking at them like it was a joke, like it was supposed to be funny. And it turned into this huge thing and none of us could stop laughing long enough to take anybody's feelings seriously. And so we talk about it as like flipping the bird magettin and we talked through all of the all together. Now we have two separate holidays. All because my 17 year old sister wanted to follow a TikTok trend and convince the rest of us that it was a good idea.

[Amanda Doyle]

Wow.

[Glennon Doyle]

I'm so surprised.

[Amanda Doyle]

Oh my God.

[Abby Wambach]

A slappy pack this. So they all were flicking off and it just. That is the thing. That is the butterfly effect. That set the emotions into play. And the men started crying and then they don't do their holidays together anymore.

[Glennon Doyle]

Jeez.

[Abby Wambach]

So all the people who are in therapy started laughing and the men who weren't in therapy cried and left.

[Amanda Doyle]

Do you know what?

[Abby Wambach]

I think there's something there. What?

[Amanda Doyle]

Besides no TikTok things at Christmas?

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah.

[Amanda Doyle]

Or Hanukkah is to me that shows how whatever we're thinking about, whatever is the main thing on our minds, we think everything is about.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yes.

[Amanda Doyle]

So they saw the flicking off of the camera and they were like, see, this family hates each other now. They hate this holiday. They hate us. It's all ruined. When really they were actually having a great time. But you can't see past your own perception of what everything's about.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, everything's about everything. Yep. Oh, I'll be thinking about that one for a while.

[Glennon Doyle]

Let's do the trend this year.

[Amanda Doyle]

So Christmas is over and New Year's is just around the corner. We're in that cozy wild wilderness stretch between the holidays and you know what that means, it's time to relax and treat yourself. Macy's is getting into full relaxation mode over there. They have fresh new bedding, warm throw blankets, all the things to pamper yourself after your big holiday sprint. If you're spending the evening at home with your people, may I recommend the Macy's Sanctuary belted checkered fleece robe? It's like being in your fleece sheets except you're not yet asleep. Or maybe you're out on the town and looking for a party dress for your party. There are really beautiful long sleeve sequins mini dresses that I think are going to look great on you. The day after Christmas sale is on now from December 25th through January 1st, whether you're lounging at home or celebrating New Year's, Macy's has everything you need. So treat yourself to a little cozy comfort and a new outfit for the new year. Shop now@macy's.com or visit your local Macy's when you think about businesses that are.

[Glennon Doyle]

Selling through the roof like Aloe Allbirds or Skims.

[Amanda Doyle]

Sure you think about a great product.

[Glennon Doyle]

A cool brand and brilliant marketing.

[Amanda Doyle]

But an often overlooked secret is actually the businesses behind the business making, selling and for shoppers buying.

[Abby Wambach]

Simple.

[Amanda Doyle]

For millions of businesses, that business is Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet and the not so secret secret.

[Glennon Doyle]

With shop pay that boosts conversions up.

[Amanda Doyle]

To 50%, meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going. So if you're into growing your business.

[Glennon Doyle]

Your commerce platform better be ready to.

[Amanda Doyle]

Sell whenever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed and everywhere in between. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout experience as business powerhouses like Alo Allbirds and Skims. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com Odysseypodcast all lowercase go to shopify.com Odysseypodcast to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com Odyssey podcast.

[Abby Wambach]

All right Liz, let's hear from Liz.

[Guest Speaker]

My name is Liz and bless my husband's heart. He wanted to propose to me in front of my entire family for Christmas and so him and my younger sister had it all planned out. He gets the ring, she knows what box it's in and my my sister knows what's going to happen and I just have no idea. And so I'm sitting here with my 88 year old great grandmother, my grandparents and my 8 month old son and My sister's been pestering me this entire time to open this box. And I'm trying to do the whole Christmas thing, you know, trying to get the baby all settled. And so I am aggravated. Finally I give in. I'm like, give me the damn package. I get this package and I open it and I'm sitting there and I'm aggravated. Get it open. And I look at my husband and I said, what's this? He's down on one knee, asks me if I'd marry him. My 88 year old great grandmother from across the room, who's been watching this entire time, yells, what's going on, Linda? My grandmother goes, I'm not sure, girly. And my sister yells, shut the hell up. He's done after the marriage.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, I love this family. Yeah, I want to hang out with Shirley and Linda.

[Amanda Doyle]

What's going on?

[Glennon Doyle]

I'm not sure. Linda.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh my God, it's so good.

[Amanda Doyle]

That is good.

[Abby Wambach]

This reminds me, yesterday I saw this tweet that said, God, I love the holidays. The peace, the joy, the ornaments. The woman in front of me at Costco that just said, I don't care if we get your cousin a pile of shit, Larry. Okay, let's hear from Katie.

[Guest Speaker]

Hi, Glenn and Abby and sister. This is Katie. My wife Lindsey and I were traveling for Thanksgiving and we stopped at a gas station to fill up. And while my wife is filling up the car, I said, I'm going to go in and go to the bathroom. So I go into the gas station convenience store area, and they're single stalls. So I pull in the women's door and it was locked and I had to go pee so badly. So I was like, I'm just going to go in the men's. So I go in the men's, I go to the bathroom and then I leave. And I'm kind of walking in the aisles of the convenience store trying to find snacks or something, and I hear this woman kind of pounding on the door and she's yelling like, get me out, get me out. And I look over towards the bathrooms and I see my wife is leaning against the women's stall door, like pinning it shut, bending over, laughing hysterically because she thinks I'm in the stall. And so this woman is like, pounding on the door. She's like, get me out, get me, me out. And Lindsay is again just like bent over laughing. She looks up and sees me and then her jaw drops and I, I, I lose it. So now I'm laughing hysterically and she moves out of the way this woman comes flying out of the bathroom and looks at my wife and is like, what the hell is wrong with you? And ly just looks at it and is like, happy Thanksgiving. And I fell over. At this point, I think I was on the floor of the convenience store laughing hysterically.

[Abby Wambach]

What the hell is wr. My gosh.

[Amanda Doyle]

That's like unlawful confinement.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, my God, that's so good.

[Amanda Doyle]

How much fun. I love couples that do that kind.

[Abby Wambach]

Of stuff to each other. Same, like play practical jokes and tricks.

[Glennon Doyle]

And the other day I was. I. I was hiding for like a solid five minutes.

[Abby Wambach]

Maybe that's all you do.

[Glennon Doyle]

And. And so, like, I set the camera up and I'm ready.

[Amanda Doyle]

By the other day, she means every day.

[Glennon Doyle]

And like, she walks upstairs and then she takes a different route that she normally takes. So she found me.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. All right, let's hear from Taylor.

[Guest Speaker]

My name is Taylor, and my partner and I do my favorite thing every Christmas. We were inspired. Both of our dads passed away when we were 17 year olds, and we have had a lot of other significant deaths in our family. And so now for Christmas, we buy each other gifts in honor of those people. So my husband calls it on behalf of and their behalf gifts and their favorite things to open around Christmas. So hopefully that inspires you all to keep the memory of your loved ones with you and make that liminal space very present in your life. Thank you for all y'all do. I love you all and I'm just so thankful. Bye.

[Glennon Doyle]

That's awesome.

[Amanda Doyle]

That's beautiful. That's very cool.

[Abby Wambach]

So she's saying they give gifts on behalf of someone who's passed.

[Glennon Doyle]

So good.

[Abby Wambach]

That's really beautiful.

[Glennon Doyle]

I'm gonna start doing that. All right, I'm gonna do it.

[Abby Wambach]

Let's hear from Adrian.

[Guest Speaker]

This is Adrian, and I have a holiday story, which is I have always loved Christmas since I was a kid. I was the ringleader of loving Christmas. And then I went to college, I got politicized. I learned about capitalism. And I was like, I'm not down for this capitalist holiday. And all this stuff I told my family, like, look, post capitalist, okay? So I come home, wake up Christmas morning with my sisters, and we come downstairs and there's no gifts, nothing. No stocking. There's just nothing. Now, mind you, I'm like 24, 25. Like, there's no children in the house. Maybe there shouldn't be anything. But the look on my face apparently betrayed my anti capitalism to my entire family. And my dad started laughing. Like the Grinch who stole Christmas. And I was trying to play it cool. I'll just have some grown up coffee. This is fine. Like it's fine. Meanwhile, inside, I'm six years old and crying and devastated. Then my parents go upstairs and they came down with these like very elegant bags of like adult gifts. And they were like, we hurt you. But mostly they're just laughing in my face. And every year, every year I get to hear this story.

[Glennon Doyle]

Oh, yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

Adrienne's parents for the win.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yep.

[Abby Wambach]

You know, all of our children are anti capitalist until they need a plane ride home.

[Glennon Doyle]

That's right.

[Abby Wambach]

Till they need to test anti capitalism with a little Christmas attitude.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

That's so good. That's so good. Okay, Emma.

[Guest Speaker]

Hi, my name is Emma. I do really love to cook. And my family and grandma and mom and I have always cooked together. So one day I was like, you know what I'm going to do? Friendsgiving. I'm going to cook this meal. And so I texted the whole family group chat and said, you know, I really love our secret family recipe, the green bean casserole with like the cream of mushroom, the green beans and the fried onion.

[Amanda Doyle]

Classic.

[Guest Speaker]

I said, can you send me the secret family recipe? To which my entire family replies. And by secret family recipe, do you mean the green bean casserole recipe that's on the can of fried onions that all of the United States of America makes everything feel good? So there's my short and sweet story. I'm still made fun of to this day.

[Abby Wambach]

Well, after that story, isn't it like the Nestle? Yeah, after that story, we have to mention Phoebe Buffet's grandmother's secret chocolate chip recipe that she was going to take to her crave. And the recipe was by Nestle Toll House.

[Glennon Doyle]

Nestle House.

[Abby Wambach]

Love me some Phoebe. Okay, Jen.

[Guest Speaker]

Hi, my name is Jen and this is a bittersweet holiday story. When I was 27, my mom was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. And as we neared the holidays, we realized she wasn't going to be here for Christmas. And also realized that all of our family traditional Czech recipes were in her mind, in her brain, and had never been written down, just passed down orally. So we decided, stupidly, to recreate Christmas in October with her so we could share the meal with her and write down all these recipes. The first misstep was the pork gravy. So we're supposed to broil the drippings at 500 degrees according to my mom's brain, which wasn't at peak capacity at that Point. And the first thing to happen is smoke billowing out of the oven. And my 4 year old nephew knows what to do in a fire so he's running through the house screaming quick, quick, fire. We have to get out of here. Evacuate. Alleviate some tension. And then next was the potato dumplings. And when we scooped those little suckers out, they were pure rubber. We had screwed up something along the line and my mom was pissed and devastated so she chucked one of those little fuckers into the sink and it ricocheted around like a bouncy ball off the sides of the sink and we all just erupted into the silent laughing, tears streaming down your face. Can't breathe laughter. And it was beautiful and amazing and we had a wonderful, albeit chewy and burnt meal. But it was a beautiful last memory with her. And I think about every year when I make those little dumplings and they turn out wrong and it just brings with me joy.

[Abby Wambach]

I think that story is so beautiful.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yes, she said wonderful. I albeit burnt and rubbery. I just feel like so much could be said of life. It's wonderful, albeit burnt and rubbery.

[Abby Wambach]

That's right. They turn out wrong and it brings me joy. It's like all the mess of it is the beauty of it. Thank you, Jen. Let's hear from Jackie.

[Guest Speaker]

Hi, my name is Jackie. I had just recently started dating this guy in my early 20s and I was out at the bar with his family and talking with his mom on the side and she told me that she was going to be asking her husband for Christmas for the magic bullet. And I proceeded to tell her how I wanted a magic bullet as well. And I thought it was really interesting that she was so open with me. This was our first Christmas together, you know. Thought she was telling me about her sex toys that she was going to be asking from her husband. So she's telling me, oh, yep, the one that I want has all different speeds, different pulses. And I ask her if she is going to get the one with the massage glove. And she looks at me and she's like, I don't know about the massage glove, I am talking about a blender.

[Amanda Doyle]

Wait, did she say this was her mother in law?

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, she says it was just dating this guy. Hold on, I'm recapping. Jackie was dating a guy, she went to a bar with his family and she was talking to his mom and his mom said she wants a magic bullet.

[Amanda Doyle]

And she said I also want a vibrator.

[Glennon Doyle]

A magic bullet.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh my God, I can't believe how cool this mom is, she's talking to me about wanting a vibrator, but I think she was talking about one of those things that they have on like qvc.

[Glennon Doyle]

See a blender? Yeah, like a nutribullet. The thing you turn upside down. And she thought she was talking about the freaking silver bullet. Oh, is that what it's called?

[Abby Wambach]

Silver bullet.

[Amanda Doyle]

Jackie was comparing notes to see if she was getting the best model. And so I asked her if she wanted if she was going to get the one with the massage setting.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh my God.

[Amanda Doyle]

I don't know about the massage setting.

[Glennon Doyle]

No massage gloves. The massage gloves.

[Abby Wambach]

Jackie thought she was about to have the coolest mother in law ever.

[Guest Speaker]

Yeah.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh God, that's so good, Jackie. Thank you for that. You've made my Christmas better. Krista.

[Guest Speaker]

Hi there. My name is Krista. About five or six Thanksgivings ago, we have two little kids. They were playing, running around outside. We were running around outside and our dog was out there as well. Unbeknownst to us, she disappeared somewhere into our neighborhood for maybe 10 minutes tops. Came back, all was well, we loaded the kids, the dog, all the food into the car and we are heading to my mom's house for a lovely Thanksgiving dinner. So we get down there, everything's great until about 15 minutes before we sit down. All of a sudden our dog grows up. An entire honey baked spiral ham. How do I know it's honey baked? Because the crackling edges were still attached to the ham. It was perfectly sliced. It was clear to anyone what it was. My mom looks at me for an explanation. I just kind of shrug. I have no idea. I look at my husband for an explanation. He also has no clue. We eventually clean it up and move on with the family dinner. The problem is, to this day we have no idea which of our neighbors had to order pizza for their Thanksgiving dinner because our dog ate their ham. I am still absolutely horrified. My dog, on the other hand, does not seem to care. She walks around the neighborhood like she owns it, like everything's fine, like she just really wanted some ham.

[Glennon Doyle]

Could you imagine a lot of people use like their garages or outdoor area to like keep things cold because you don't have enough room in your refrigerator for the holiday food. Could you imagine having your ham or turkey or whatever outside and then like going out to like, you know you've preheated the oven, you're gonna bring it to room temp. Fucking ham is gone. It's just gone.

[Abby Wambach]

Still talking. What do you do?

[Glennon Doyle]

Do you look around like, did this ham get up and run away.

[Amanda Doyle]

You'd be yelling at everyone.

[Abby Wambach]

Oh, you know, they were all blaming each other.

[Amanda Doyle]

Yeah. And then I'd be like, wait, did I buy the ham?

[Abby Wambach]

I buy the ham. I didn't buy the ham this year.

[Amanda Doyle]

Do you know what's fascinating is that the whole thing came up and it was. It was still in its, like, pre slice.

[Abby Wambach]

Yes. Because dogs, they just swallow shit whole. They do.

[Glennon Doyle]

I mean, the other thing that's really interesting to me is that this dog ruined somebody's holiday. I don't know what I was going to say. I had a really good point. No, it was going to be good. Damn it all to hell.

[Abby Wambach]

It's okay.

[Amanda Doyle]

The pre sliced.

[Glennon Doyle]

No, no.

[Amanda Doyle]

Okay.

[Abby Wambach]

All right, let's hear from Theresa.

[Guest Speaker]

Hi, this is Teresa. I have a heartwarming holiday story to share with Pause Squad. I was getting divorced in 2014, and it was very hard for me because I loved my ex husband's family. He had a large extended family. They were all very good to me. And I. I was feeling really lonely on Christmas Eve because that was always a big family extravaganza. And they were. That was always one of the highlights of the year for me. My family doesn't live here. And they'd kind of left me on my own anyway through the whole divorce. So I was sitting at home kind of in a moat, feeling really sad, and then there was a knock at the door. And I opened the door and it was my soon to be ex husband's cousin who was bringing to me a butter dish Tupperware. That's the fancy Polish Tupperware if you're in Buffalo or anywhere in the Midwest. Full of goulash from my ex husband's grandmother, who knew that I was sitting at home alone, missing everything and missing her goulash in particular, which is always a big, big holiday highlight. And she handed it to me through the door as if it was some sort of transaction of like sacred documents or something and said, grandma wanted you to have this, and merry Christmas. And I think it was the best gift I ever received was that tub full of grandma's goulash. So sometimes it's the little things that are really the big things. Thanks. Happy holiday.

[Abby Wambach]

You know what else is good? Grandmas, grandmas who just include women, whether they're on the ins with their families or they're outs with their families. Like the people who think of the person who might be lonely and just reach out something little. That would be a good thing for this holiday.

[Glennon Doyle]

Yeah.

[Abby Wambach]

Just to Think of somebody in your life who might be a little lonely this holiday and just reach out.

[Glennon Doyle]

I also remembered what I was going to say before. What if the family of this ham is listening? If one near a ham went missing, please call in and leave a voicemail. Yeah, I need to hear it from your side.

[Amanda Doyle]

And also I just love the idea of that you can just maybe rise up above a little bit of that. Just because people are no longer going to be married. That that has to be whole clothes cutting off from them. I mean, where it's possible. I think little gestures like that. Again, the compartmentalizing that we talked about before, it's just like there's no world in which someone was a huge part of your life and your traditions and you loved them and you cared for them and you spent all of these important events with them. And then the next year, because of something totally separate from you, it's like, well, that's no longer a thing we force ourselves to do. Emotional gymnastics instead of realizing that the truth of it is if you cared about them then, you care about them now. And it may be in a little more complicated of a way, but we make it too tidy. And in making it too tidy, I think we hurt other people and we hurt ourselves. If you have love for people, you can show it.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah.

[Glennon Doyle]

I also think in terms of divorces and isn't the holidays supposed to be about trying to be of joy and love and inclusion? And it's like when this divorce thing happens, there automatically becomes this weird exclusion.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah. In and out.

[Glennon Doyle]

And this person's now on the outside and I just, I don't believe in that. You know, like marriages happen, people happen. I love some of my in laws that are no longer married to my brothers, you know, and I think that that's really important that they know that I love them. And no matter what, my nieces and nephews are half theirs.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, that's right. Well, I love this wild, huge family we've created, this pod squad. It is just been a great joy of my life this year. And it makes me feel comforted to know that no matter what the next year brings, we will be back here next year at the same time telling ridiculous stories together and reflecting on the year together and preparing to do the next year together. And for that constancy I am grateful. And I just hope all of you find some tiny bursts and slices of joy inside all of the mess that the next week will inevitably bring.

[Glennon Doyle]

And peace.

[Abby Wambach]

Yeah, little flashes of peace. And I love you, sister. And I love you Abby and you.

[Glennon Doyle]

Will be the gift in the present. Your presence will be our best present.

[Abby Wambach]

I hope so because I haven't bought a lot.

[Amanda Doyle]

I love you Abby. I love you G Bird. I love you POD Squad.

[Glennon Doyle]

I love you guys so much and I want to buy Sister all of.

[Abby Wambach]

The things I know we do like you.

[Amanda Doyle]

Please act on that impulse.

[Abby Wambach]

We love you. Enjoy your people. If you're alone, enjoy yourself because you are the thing.

[Glennon Doyle]

If you're with people, you are the thing too.

[Abby Wambach]

That's right. We'll see you next time. Love if this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to us if you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do these three things. First, can you please follow or subscribe to We Can Do Hard Things? Following the POD helps you because you'll never miss a an episode, and it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. To do this, just go to the We Can Do Hard Things show page on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Odyssey, or wherever you listen to podcasts and then just tap the plus sign in the upper right hand corner or click on Follow. This is the most important thing for the pod. While you're there, if you'd be willing to give us a five star rating and review and share an episode you loved with a friend, we would be so grateful. We appreciate you very much. We Can Do Hard Things is created and hosted by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle in partnership with Odyssey. Our Executive producer is Jenna Wise Berman and the show is produced by Lauren Legrasso, Allison Schott, Dina Kleiner and Bill Schultz.