We Can Do Hard Things

Episode: Your Inner Child: Is Yours a Voyager, a Defensive Driver, or a Scuba Diver?

Release: December 2, 2025

Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Amanda Doyle

Episode Overview

The Pod Squad dives deep into the concept of the “inner child”—exploring how childhood personalities, coping mechanisms, and ingrained beliefs shape us as adults. Using personal stories, listener questions, and their trademark blend of humor and vulnerability, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda examine who they were as kids, which parts of those younger selves still show up every day, and what it looks like to reparent and honor their inner children now. The theme is an exploration of play, coping, striving, and self-protection through the metaphors of voyagers, defensive drivers, and scuba divers.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Anxiety, Joy, and Presence

(00:00–10:15)

• The conversation opens with Abby recognizing how extreme stress has sapped her ability to “inject joy” into life, an active practice she credits with counterbalancing anxiety:
  • “I have usually been of the right amount of faculty in my own body to be able to counteract it with joy... but I haven’t had that lately.” —Abby (00:00)
• The group discusses joy as an active, even therapeutic intervention for anxiety, and the challenge of bringing joy and presence into not just leisure, but work and life’s difficult moments:
  • “I am learning and working on just bringing in moments of joy and play into my life.” —Abby (02:19)
  • Abby describes implementing this by having her family dance while doing the dishes to Nina Simone, emphasizing embodied, in-the-moment experiences (03:03).
• Glennon reframes anxiety as “the gap between my expectation of this moment or this person ... and the reality. And the gap is the anxiety.” (05:55)
• Abby reflects on the power of choosing thoughts: “If I have the power to create the anxiety, then I also have the power to create something different.” (06:24)

Notable Quote

“It is an interesting thing about how stress can just take away your personality.”
—Glennon (00:38)

2. Listener Question: Childhood Personas and Inner Children

(10:19–28:14)

• The Pod Squad takes a listener’s question: “What were each of you like as little kids, and which part of that kid still shows up every day?”
• Amanda shares a hilarious childhood artifact—a contract she drafted at age six or seven when Glennon borrowed $7. The contract includes interest, a repayment plan, collateral, and is notarized with a dinosaur stamp. The story illustrates Amanda’s childhood persona as the “defensive driver,” always preemptively safeguarding herself.
  • “If defensive driving was a personality, that’s what I’d be.” —Amanda (17:43)
• Amanda discusses the roots of her vigilant, hyper-responsible coping:
  • “If the world isn’t, like, orderly and predictable and understandable around me, I will find a means to make it so.” (18:39)
• The group explores family systems: Amanda became the “fixer,” while Glennon was the “feeler.” Both roles, they suggest, arose from the “water the family’s swimming in”—the context, not any one person’s behavior.

Notable Quote

“If the world isn't, like, orderly and predictable and understandable around me, I will find a means to make it so… My dinosaur stamp will protect me from any foreseeable offenses.”
—Amanda (18:39)

3. Abby’s Inner Child: The Voyager/Adventurer

(34:29–45:19)

• Abby reflects on her rambunctious, attention-seeking childhood (“I was a very obnoxious child… just wanted to be completely in all of the experience of life.” —34:39), and how her boldness, confidence, and drive for play led her to sports success.
• She shares that striving for attention and validation from her mother motivated her, and that her sense of worthiness became linked to performance rather than intrinsic being.
  • “My worthiness came from performance instead of existence.” —Glennon (42:21)
• Abby also delves into the dangers of outgrowing or repressing joyfulness in adulthood and within communal relationships, especially through parenting.
• The complexity of ambition: Abby questions whether her lifelong drive for “more”—for new experiences and adventures—is a manifestation of her true essence or a byproduct of capitalist striving. She’s currently wrestling with what “enough” means, especially in contemplating retirement.
  • “The thing that propelled me into the greatest experience of life… was this utter belief and this intuition that there was something more I could be a part of and create with and experience. And now… is what we have right now enough?” (44:00–45:19)

Notable Quote

“The reason why I was such a good soccer player is because I really did think of it for a long time as something I just got to play.”
—Abby (38:55)

“What you have, the way you have always experienced the world is adventure… you equate the striving or the reaching towards whatever’s next as life itself. So if you stop that and just sit in the enoughness, that is what people do before they die.”
—Glennon (46:07)

4. Glennon’s Inner Child: The Idealist and Poet (Scuba Diver)

(54:01–63:30)

• Glennon admits she doesn't have a clear image of her childhood self, so she reads a poem she wrote in third grade titled “Hope,” which addresses global peace:
  • “A disagreement is two different ways of thinking… An agreement is a compromise. Isn’t peace the answer?” —Glennon (56:17)
• She shares her childhood belief that her words could change the world—a blend of sweetness, idealism, and a little grandiosity.
• The group analyzes children’s coping mechanisms and personalities, with Amanda observing about herself: “All the problems in the world result from my failure to communicate.” (63:30)
• Glennon reflects on her urge to express and connect, and the double-edged sword of believing she’s responsible for fixing everything through communication.

Notable Quote

“The only thing that I remember about this poem is a feeling in my body … this is gonna do it… this is what’s gonna do it [bring peace to the world].”
—Glennon (57:17)

5. Reparenting, Integration, and Moving Forward

(64:30–67:24)

• The Pod Squad wraps up by reflecting on how to honor, reparent, and integrate their inner child as adults:
  • Abby: “I’m letting joy lead my life right now. And play.” (65:27)
  • Amanda wants to honor her energy and protectiveness, but heal her nervous system and “drive less defensively”—to discern actual danger from unnecessary hypervigilance (66:41).
  • Glennon seeks to allow self-expression to exist for its own sake, rather than as an assignment to “fix everything.”

Notable Quotes

“My goal in life these days is to heal my nervous system so that I know what is actual danger and what is actually just life.”
—Amanda (66:41)

“Having the goal of expression just be expression, and not thinking that it's some, like, divine job to fix everything… Something about that.”
—Glennon (66:44)

The episode ends with the suggestion that listeners keep a childhood picture nearby—a simple reminder to nurture and be gentle with their inner child.

Key Timestamps

• 00:00–09:21: Joy as a counter to stress and anxiety; balancing presence and future worries.
• 10:19–28:14: Amanda’s childhood contract story and the “defensive driver” personality.
• 34:29–45:19: Abby’s bold inner child, struggle with worthiness, and the complexity of ambition.
• 54:01–63:30: Glennon’s third-grade “global peace” poem and the “scuba diver” search for meaning.
• 64:30–67:24: Final reflections on reparenting the inner child and integrating their strengths.

Memorable Moments

• Amanda’s detailed childhood contract, including a notarization with a dinosaur stamp—“My dinosaur stamp will protect me from any foreseeable offenses.” (18:39)
• Abby’s story of the obnoxious, confident child—jumping on backs and messing up perms to get attention (36:25).
• The reading of Glennon's poem and her earnest conviction it might end world conflict (56:17–57:49).
• The hosts’ honest questioning of what motivates adult striving, adventure, and what it means to define “enough” (45:19–49:52).
• The concept that our core coping responses—be they voyaging, defensive driving, or scuba diving—are rooted in our efforts to manage uncertainty, create safety, and keep our spirits alight.

Tone and Atmosphere

The episode is lively, self-deprecating, and earnest, with the Pod Squad laughing at their childhood selves, gently teasing one another, but always returning to deep compassion for the inner child. The conversation moves fluidly between specific, personal anecdotes and broader reflections, blending humor, psychological insight, and practical wisdom.

Final Takeaway

The path to wholeness includes recognizing, honoring, and integrating our inner child—whether voyager, defensive driver, or scuba diver. The practice isn’t just child’s play; it’s the heart of doing hard things and braving the everyday with joy, gentleness, and self-acceptance.