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Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah, well, we live. We're staying at the Anda. So you keep doing that thing where you're like, ah, the coattail's right there. Stay another hour and another hour, and then here we are.
Yeah, I used to drink. I. I get it.
Wait, you quit?
Yeah.
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What?
Anthony Jeselnik
I never thought I'd see the day. We're losing everybody.
I feel like no one drinks anymore. You guys, like the last two people standing. Even Swartzen's not drinking.
Matt Peters
Well, he had to quit.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah.
Yeah. And Burt quit.
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Burt quit.
Anthony Jeselnik
No one saw that coming.
Matt Peters
We were in a bar last night where Schwartzen met me, and he rolled him with a green juice. And I was like, I never thought I'd see the day. I was happy to see it.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah.
Matt Peters
And we had wings. He wasn't eating wings.
Anthony Jeselnik
I was like, all right.
Well, he'll be like, nick will be like, I'm sober now. I've been sober for two years. I'm like, when's the last time you had a drink? He's like, a year ago. I'm like, well, that's not.
I get it. Damn swordson. That's like when Jordan went to basketball or baseball. It's over.
Matt Peters
He came back, though, so I hope not.
Anthony Jeselnik
That's true. He'll be back. He'll be back.
Matt Peters
Don't say that. It's Nick that's bad, though. Well, root for people to fall back on who have a problem.
Anthony Jeselnik
Well, maybe he'll come back and own it. Like, I'll just have a beer at dinner.
I don't think how that's how it works.
Okay.
Matt Peters
Did you have a problem or did you just.
Anthony Jeselnik
I outgrew it. I say, you know, like, everyone around me stopped drinking. And I was like. I used to be the one who was, like, still kind of in control, and all of a sudden, I'm the only one slurring. And I was like, this feels weird as I get older that I was like, I'm just. I'm happy to leave it behind. And it's been like, you go to like. I went to dinner with Swartz and last night and the bill was like 200 bucks. And I'm like, this would have been a thousand dollar dinner when we were drinking.
That's true.
I don't. I don't miss it. I don't miss it.
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It is.
Anthony Jeselnik
It's unnecessary at times, but.
Yeah, I'm four years as a couple weeks ago.
Damn.
Matt Peters
Do you ever get bored? I mean, that's. That's the big thing for me. Like, you Feel great, But I do get bored.
Anthony Jeselnik
I was still smoking pot for a while. I gave up pot in October. And, like, I'll get back to my hotel room after show and be like, now what? Exactly, like, now what do I do? But I've. I've. I read a lot of books. Yeah, that's like my.
Matt Peters
I picked up a book from your ex, the stoner one. So did Matt Peters.
Anthony Jeselnik
Cool.
Yeah. Stoner is a. The great American novel. I say, yeah, I've heard it.
Matt Peters
I've saw other people wreck it. And then I saw you, and I was like, it takes, like, three people now for me, with a show or a book. It's like, I need, like, three different.
Anthony Jeselnik
That's the hard thing about being a book guy is that you can't get into a conversation without walking away with three recommendations. Yeah, I can't read all of these. So you're always just piling up books, man.
To go from booze to books is pretty good. That's, like, what our parents wanted. And here we are. Yeah, booze to books.
I don't regret my drinking days. I just truly outgrew it. And it wasn't a health thing. It was just like, you know, as you get older, it becomes a worse look. You know when you're like, just like the sweaty, smiley guy at the bar. As you get older, it's like, what are you doing?
Matt Peters
Yeah, you have to hang out with other sweaty, smiley guys. And then you're like, look at this fucking loser. And then you're like, oh, yeah, that's me.
Anthony Jeselnik
Well, I would come here and I would have, like, two beers before my set, and I was the only one having two beers before my set that I was like, okay. I don't miss not being that guy.
Yeah. And the hangovers, I mean, just. This is horrible. You wake up fresh as a daisy.
Not really. I don't. I don't sleep great. I thought, like, my sleep would be amazing, but it's just. It's not normal.
Matt Peters
Are you a coffee guy?
Anthony Jeselnik
Yes.
Matt Peters
That's the sleep.
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Yeah.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah.
Matt Peters
Because I had to quit coffee for, like, a month, and I was like, I'm falling asleep naturally. I'm not taking pills.
Anthony Jeselnik
I just do it for first thing in the morning. And I take pills because I grind my teeth so crazy that I take a muscle relaxer at night, and that helps me sleep. If I don't have that, like, it's
Matt Peters
a problem every night. A muscle relaxer?
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah.
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Whoa.
Matt Peters
That's why you seem so relaxed, right?
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah.
Matt Peters
You seem chill.
Anthony Jeselnik
Well, I've been waiting for you guys for like.
Matt Peters
Sorry. We were waiting outside for you. We were like, I wanna. I wanna know what Kari pulls up. And we were like taking bets. I was like, he seem a Porsche guy? No.
Anthony Jeselnik
I knew it.
Matt Peters
For some reason. I was like, he doesn't have kids. A two seater makes sense to me.
Anthony Jeselnik
I got a. I got a four door. I got the green Audi out.
I called it.
Matt Peters
Okay.
Anthony Jeselnik
I said, audi. Yeah, Audi's comfortable. It's a nice car.
I live close by, so it was easy to get here early. I'm not right next door like you guys.
How did you slip by? Did you go through the front door?
No, I walked in. They were like. They were loading in booze, so I just kind of walked in.
Oh, man, we missed you.
Yeah, too bad.
Nice Audi.
Now we're here.
Matt Peters
What's your routine when you write? Is it every day?
Anthony Jeselnik
It was like in the beginning when I am like starting the new hour. I just like every day as much as I can. My big thing was like, right before I went to bed, I went from writing in a laptop to a notebook. My brother had gotten me a notebook for Christmas. And I used to hate writing in notebooks, but he got me one. He got me a sketch pad by mistake. And by not having lines, all of a sudden I could just sit there like, my handwriting's so bad. The lines made me feel like I was back in school. But just being able to write in like a blank page, I would write like five or six jokes a night right before I went to bed and then wake up in the morning and, like, remember the jokes. It felt like an elf came in the middle of the night and wrote jokes for me.
Right.
And I just like trying those out. And now I'm at like 50, 55 minutes of my set. And that last five minutes or 10 minutes is really tough.
Yeah.
Because I've covered so many things in the hour that now I'm just like trying to find. I'm trying to find it on the stage. You know, I've got a couple bits that I've come up with that I just try to every weekend try to have something new to fill up that hour. But for like, I mean, you know, this, that, like an hour of a guy who just talks.
Yeah.
You can do like an hour 20, easy. But when you're doing one liner type stuff, I'm like, hey, it's 55 minutes. But like, you guys should be cool with that because it's like, it's back to back Exactly. I'm not fucking around at all.
No filler, no fluff.
Matt Peters
We have the same tour manager. And I'll ask him, like, how much time does Jeselnik do? Because I'm doing jokes too. So I'm like, I want to know what's appropriate.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah.
Matt Peters
You know, but then you hear about some people doing an hour 30, which I'm like, the fuck are you doing?
Anthony Jeselnik
That's too long. The other. The other, like, the other show's waiting. I asked Brian one time. I was like, brian, like, I'm at 55 minutes is like, what do you. Are people, like, feeling ripped off? And he goes, you don't understand what I've seen people do to get to an hour, you know what I mean? Where they're like, bringing people on stage and like, that, like, you're 55 is worth more than most people's hours that I hope to get to 60 by the time I go to theaters in the fall. But if it's 58, like, it's a. It's a rock solid 58.
Yeah. There's going to be way more punch lines in that 58 than the other guys. 1 hour 30.
Yeah, it's.
Matt Peters
It's more Machine Gun Matters, I think.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah, for sure.
I think so.
Matt Peters
Because you think about. There's some movies that you're just like, okay, this didn't need to be three
Anthony Jeselnik
hours, of course, but someone's always going to complain. And it's like, how much of those complaints bother you? I'll see the. Hey, he only did 55. And I'm like, only one person. Like, I still got, you know, applause. People were still happy when they left. Yeah, that. I think it's okay.
Yeah. Well, I just put out a special, I don't know, three weeks ago, and you're back to square one.
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And I.
Anthony Jeselnik
It's kind of like drinking where I'm too old. I don't know if I can keep doing this rapid fire, this many jokes in a row again. So I have two stories now, which I've never done.
Really? Yeah, it's hard. I always think that, like, people are like, what are you gonna do now? You do something different. Right. And this time it, like, made me mad that they were like, what do you, like? I was like, I'm just gonna make the jokes even shorter. And I always want to have a story. I've had stories before that I've, like, burned on late night because I used to bomb on late. On the couch on late nights so hard because you can't Just tell your jokes. Right. I'm like my Persona and my me that I just wrote bits that I was doing on stage that were, like, doing great. Well, I'm like, it's like, it could be a 20 minute bit, but I'm gonna burn it on Kimmel. And I was like, what was I doing? Like, what was I thinking?
Yeah.
But if I have. If I have stories now, they almost have to be about jokes. Otherwise it seems like the audience is, like, waiting for the twist and then like, what is. What. What's going on that I. I just like. I like writing jokes, you know, I'd rather do that.
Matt Peters
But it's hard to keep burning hours without a. Changing up the rhythm for a second. Because your rhythm, it's like Dangerfield, where it's like he would have to throw in a little crowd work to break up the rhythm. Right?
Anthony Jeselnik
Sure.
Matt Peters
And I've seen you do, like, a quick thing just to, like, throw him off a little.
Anthony Jeselnik
Right.
I used to do. I mean, now I have, like, sillier jokes to throw them off. I used to do crowd work a little bit, and then I stopped because everyone was doing crowd work.
Matt Peters
Right, Right.
Anthony Jeselnik
And I was like, this feels hack to me. I don't judge people for doing it, but it made me want to stop doing it.
Sure.
That now I'm just like, let me see if I can just go do the opposite of what people were criticizing me for and just make it, like, just double down basically.
Right.
Matt Peters
Right. Yeah. It's hard. I think I always talk to Mark about this because Mark's got all these great stories he tells, and he never puts them in specials. And I just think, like, we keep burning material, like, at a certain point.
Anthony Jeselnik
That's what I'm saying.
Matt Peters
I also like having a story at the end just to kind of like, change up the. The rhythm of what they're expecting. Because I can't do too many, like, set up punch in a row without them being like, all right, we get it.
Anthony Jeselnik
Right.
I mean, that's why I stopped podcasting was I felt like I was, like, burning creativity. Whether even if it's a story I wouldn't use. People are like, I see so many comics now where they're like, I saw the show. I like them better on the podcast. And I was like, I don't. I'd rather be better on stage. But I've tried to tell a story at the end, you know, wrap it up. Like, I had, like, thoughts and prayers where I'd like a big thing about. About social Media at the end. And like the audience is like, tell some more fucking jokes. Like, we'd rather hear jokes from you. And I'm like, okay, let me just stick to that and make it great. And if you put yourself in a box, you back yourself into a corner, you'll find a way.
Yeah, that's true. But that is annoying. When I read a bunch of my comments and they're like, same stuff, same formula. Come on, when's he going to evolve? And I'm like, can't this just be my thing? Can't my thing be the jokes?
You know, I thought about you because I saw some of comments, I wrote
Matt Peters
a few of them, I was a little sick of it.
Anthony Jeselnik
But I think like when you're one liner guy, we're a joke guy. Like, we are. It's about the live performance. When you're doing the show and you're doing joke after joke, the audience is going fucking crazy. And then when you're watching it on a screen, it's different. That like, we're like, we're built for the live show.
Yes.
The special is just like, hey, I'm done with this stuff. You can see it. But it's not the same as someone who's on their phone, on their couch, doing dishes, listening to a story. You know that it's like, what is, what is your job? And I decided my job is the live show to kill. I enjoy that more. Like, I'll, I'll take questions during check drop and people are like, is this gonna be a special? And I'm like, I'm performing for you live right now. Like, this is the special thing.
Matt Peters
I think your stuff translates very well, though. I disagree. I think jokes actually translate better than stories to specials because the jokes can be clipped. They can, you know, stories, you have to be fully engaged and people don't have the attention span these days.
Anthony Jeselnik
It works well for clips, but people can like tune out, especially with the same kind of rhythm. Like, I'm just like, that's okay. To not enjoy the special as much as the live show. Like with a live audience, the energy is crazy when you just go joke, joke, joke. That I'm okay with people being like, the special gets boring. Like, didn't get bored. You know, everything is fucking boring if you sit there and watch, you know, whatever on TV all day.
Yeah.
So it doesn't, that criticism doesn't affect me anymore.
Okay. Thank you. I was, I was spiraling over that shit.
You're welcome.
I was really losing it. I was like, should I change. I get a new thing.
I mean, I didn't say you shouldn't change. Don't feel bad about. About the comments.
All right. All right, thanks.
Matt Peters
Do you have any jokes where you're like, this is my favorite joke, and it never hits.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yes, I have one that I do that I, like, found a way to cram it in. Like, I had had this joke that I wrote down, like, in my book late at night, and I just started crying, laughing. I was like, this is so funny to me. And a lot of times that's a red flag. Yeah. Like, when I'm like, think this is too funny. And then I went to Largo and tried it out, and the audience was just like, no. But Zach Galifianakis was on the side of the stage, like, crying with laughter, and, like, ran up to me afterwards and was like, that's so amazing. Don't listen to the audience. And I would keep trying it, and we keep bombing. And I would see Zach, and he'd be like, how's that joke going? And I'm like, you would not believe how badly it's going. And now I just do a thing where I'm like, I don't care anymore. Like, I've been doing this for almost 25 years. Like, this is what I like. I'm just gonna tell it to you. You don't have to like it, but I love this joke. And then that kind of sells it a little bit. But I have to literally set it up as, like, this is a joke that horrifies people. Yeah. But it is the funniest thing I've ever thought of in my life.
Once you say that, they're kind of
Matt Peters
like, all right, all right.
Anthony Jeselnik
It really changes the whole dynamic of the joke.
Matt Peters
You're trying to make them feel cool by. Yeah, by liking it.
Anthony Jeselnik
Like, Jimmy Carr told me what. Like, I had a bunch of jokes. It was like an early special. I think it may have been Caligula, like, my Comedy Central special. I was like, I've got these jokes that are, like, almost too.
They get.
It gets darker where. Like, the darker stuff. I don't know where to put it in. It's like, it should go at the end. And he was like, do what I do. And he's like, he just gave it to me. He was like, do what I do and just say, let's see how dark I can get. I'm gonna tell jokes to get progressively darker, and we'll see. And then they love every one of them, and it's an easy thing to do. And I was like, I can have that. And he's like, take it, it's yours.
It's just the packaging of it. It's how you present it that's smart. Because if you come out with a dark one, there's like, Jesus. But if you introduce it, like, that changes everything.
Matt Peters
Yeah. I was opening my new hour on a Charlie Kirk joke, and for my crowd, it was crushing. And I got off stage one night and Neil Brennan was like, don't open the hour on that. You're just gonna. You're gonna lose people. Put it like, seven minutes in. I was like, actually, I like that a lot. And I end up doing that. But see, you would have liked to open on it.
Anthony Jeselnik
I have a Charlie Kirk opener right now.
Matt Peters
Yeah.
Anthony Jeselnik
And I have. He was like, people are going to
Matt Peters
shut it off immediately. And I was like, all right.
Anthony Jeselnik
I have never taken advice from Neil Brennan. He's giving me a lot. And then he'll. Afterwards, he'll be like, you were right. And I'm like, I know.
Matt Peters
Like, I. I think he was right about this one. I'm glad I listened to it. And actually, it segued better in the middle than it is an opener. It felt like I was trying to be too offensive out of the gate, you know?
Anthony Jeselnik
Sure. I'm sure we have different Charlie Kirk jokes.
Matt Peters
Yeah.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah.
Matt Peters
Wow.
Anthony Jeselnik
Opening with it.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's just in. I mean, it's not. It's not even about him. It references him. But it is a Charlie Kirk joke. But it's not like, you know, I'm not trying to draw a line in the sand. Sure. I enjoy doing that.
Yeah.
My audience, like, knows me well enough now. Yeah.
We leave.
Matt Peters
People know.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, well, Carlin used to come out with the worst thing and where we'd run on stage, be like, hold on, hold on. Do you guys know that. Have you noticed that the Women Against Abortion are people you wouldn't fuck in the first place? You're like, wow. It's a fun opener.
Matt Peters
It's a good joke.
Anthony Jeselnik
Great joke.
There was. I was in New York, and I remember hearing about a set. They were like, doug Stanhope's in town. And they're like, it was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Where for 45 minutes, he's bombing. He's bombing so hard that Todd Berry and. And, oh, my God. Skanks for the memories. Attell are in the back, and he's asking them, would you guys mind coming on stage at the end and doing some time. So the audience feels like they have a show and they're just like. They don't know what to say. But it's like 45 minutes of bombing. And then all of a sudden, Stanhope just, like, turns on a dime and just starts ranting about his career and complaining. And then murders. They were like, murders for 45 minutes. And it was the best show they've ever seen.
Yeah.
And, yeah, I don't know why. People are too fucking stupid. They gotta have a picture of him up there. But, okay.
Oh, that guy.
Matt Peters
No, he took that picture. That's what he's.
Anthony Jeselnik
Okay, okay, that makes a little more sense.
Matt Peters
He showed up loaded to our pod at, like, noon. It was a fun one.
Anthony Jeselnik
And I was like, that's incredible. To bomb for 45 and then have the whole audience, even comics, being like, oh, my God. And then turning it around. And I wanted to go see him the next night. And it was just 45 minutes of him doing a set. Like, I think he really just had a bad time that night and was able to pull it out. But I think stand up, I think, is the greatest.
The greatest.
Yeah, he's your favorite. I think he's the best. Like, he's my favorite. Comics are guys like Dangerfield, Stephen Wright, you know, had. But the guys who were true one liner, joke guys. But the people that I admire the most are guys like Stanhope, who, like, donated his body and his mind to comedy. Like, he dresses like that for comedy. Guys like Chris Rock that I got to. Was lucky enough to tour with. And I was like, I'm going to study everything he does for this. Like, these, like, three months we're going through Europe. And after two nights, I was like, there's nothing I can learn. He's a genius. Like, I would watch how he prepped, but there was nothing I could glean from it.
Matt Peters
Right.
Anthony Jeselnik
He tried to give me a joke once.
Really?
It was like, this. This reference isn't working. Try this. And I was like, I don't use other people's stuff.
You never take a tag?
Never, Never. People, like, try. And I'm like, please don't. Like, I enjoy writing too much. I'd rather find it on my own. And he was like, louis got a joke of mine in his act. Like, seinfeld's got a joke of mine. Like, don't be a dick. And the crew was like, anthony, what are you doing? Like, take his fucking joke. And after a week of convincing me, I'm finally like, all right, I'll Try it. And it bombed. And the crew starts laughing and they're like, I've never seen someone so happy to have a joke bomb. I was thrilled because if it worked, yeah, I would have had to keep it. But I was like, no, your reference didn't work. So very happy.
So it's funny because it tells us Stan hopes the best too. That's his favorite, I think.
He absolutely is. Just like the stories he tells, the jokes he has. I think he like. Because every comics, like, I don't give a fuck. They all like to say that.
Yeah.
But very few, like really follow through.
Matt Peters
Very few go to Ukraine and fire weapons into Russia. Yes, he actually gives.
Anthony Jeselnik
No, I mean, moved to Bisbee and just like does what he wants to do. And everything he does is for comedy.
Yes.
Matt Peters
That Bobby Barnes pure the one on something to take the edge off that closer. That story. It's. Yeah, he can do social commentary. He can tell a funny personal story.
Anthony Jeselnik
Oh, yeah.
Matt Peters
Yeah. He's one of the best of all time, I think for sure.
Anthony Jeselnik
I mean, they're truly the greatest, I think.
Yeah. Have you seen him going to the town hall meetings in Bisbee, those clips?
I've seen a few.
I mean, he's just doing like, what do you call those? It's like a community, community service or press conference where you can just go up and talk about shit, like complain about a pothole. But he uses it for stage time and he open mics it. You could pull that up. It's. It's just hilarious.
Have you guys ever been to Bisbee to his.
Matt Peters
Have you been there?
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah, I went once and he had like a party and I went with a friend and the party was really fun, but. And like the town is like, it's a beautiful place. It really has the best like weather in the world. Like, it's just like you're comfortable all the time. But then I went to one restaurant and I was like, I would never fucking come back here. Like, it was like one of those where you really have to be self contained. But I, I liked it.
I would love to go. I'm a huge fan and all that. But I feel like it would get Sad after like 3 hours being there at his house.
It was, I mean, there was a bunch of different comics there. We did shows, they had play. Like it was a fun. It was fun weekend, but I have not been back. He said once he's like, he gets more joy from. From making the greeter at a Walmart laugh when he walks by than he does from Killing in front of an audience, just that little joke he tells when he walks by someone brings him more joy. And now the older I get, the more I feel that the more like making some old person laugh with some offhanded comment who has no idea who you are is more fun than an audience who's primed and paid money who wants to come see the act.
That's true. Do you have the thing? Cause in New York, a lot of guys will do the. Well, kill on the road. You got your people, and then you kind of go back to the clubs and it's. You struggle a little bit because it's not your people. Do you have that in la, where you can work out in front of randos?
I only do. I only have the one act. You know, I've never had, like, oh, this is like, they're out of towners. Let me change it up. Like, you see the movie. And so I'll struggle sometimes at, like, the improv. And it's like Chelsea Handler's crowd. Like, Chelsea Handler's at the end. I'm like, why am I doing so badly? Everyone looks like Chelsea Handler. And I'm like, okay, like, I get what's going on here, but I'm happy to struggle there. Because then when I go out and do it on the road for my audience, like, I kill even harder that. It's like. It's like going to the gym, you know, versus, like, playing the game that, like, getting. I did my Netflix as a joke show Tuesday in, like, a theater of 2,000 people. And after doing clubs for, like, a few months, it was great just to feel how different it was then. I'm like, I'm glad I was doing these show. These, like, smaller shows to get to that. But I only have the one act.
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Same.
Anthony Jeselnik
If I'm gonna bomb, like, let's bomb. But I don't have any saves. I don't have any kind of, like. Let me tone it down a little bit. Yeah, for this audience.
But do you get mad? You go, hey, this is good stuff. You're psychos at the improv. Like, if it's good, it's good.
I learned to be a professional. I learned from, like, being at the improv on a bad night, and I see Sarah Silverman go up, who I think the world of, and she's just acting like it's going great. And I'm like, oh, that's what a professional is. Like, people are still there to see Sarah Silverman, and they might be a bad crowd, but I'm like, if they're seeing Anthony Justin, like, I want to give them that experience and not be like, you guys are terrible. Or like, this is a bad crowd that I just like, act like I'm still the best, you know, like you aren't giving me the reaction that I would, I would want. Maybe it's a half filled room, but I'm going to give you the act to the best of my ability.
Yeah, I like that because you see a lot of these guys, like, third guy in a row, like, you guys suck. Fuck you. And the crowd's like, we do. We didn't know that.
Matt Peters
I don't do that. But I am. I can't just tell jokes and bomb. I have to be like, I'm aware this is not going well. I need to do something.
Anthony Jeselnik
Sure.
Matt Peters
You got to acknowledge I won't blame them, but I'll be like, okay. Like, I need to address it somehow or I just feel crazy. I feel like I'm on a date with someone who fucking clearly hates me. And I'm just like, this is good.
Anthony Jeselnik
I'll say things, but it's like in a positive way. I'm like, you guys are an amazing crowd to try out new jokes in front of. Right. Like, this is my target demographic.
Matt Peters
Sure. Like sarcasm.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah. They understand, but I don't let them see me sweat or think anything is wrong because again, there are people there who might never see me again. And I want to just do. I want to just be professional. I learned that from Sarah Silverman. I remember seeing Tom Poppa perform the day Greg Giraldo died and we all went to the Cellar to like mourn and everyone's like crying and I'm like, I can't imagine going on stage right now. And I walk through the room and Tom Pop is up there killing, like, nothing happens. I was like, that is professionalism. And that kind of like, I'll never forget that.
Matt Peters
Yeah.
Anthony Jeselnik
So I just, I just try to make it as professional as I can.
Matt Peters
I saw Tom. I went to the Geraldo benefit at the Beacon and Tom hosted and it was like such a fucking masterclass. He's a pro on emcee and just people were coming in. It was a hell gig to open and he. And he killed. It was. It was awesome.
Anthony Jeselnik
He doesn't get his due as one of the great comics I used to open.
Matt Peters
He does. I think.
Anthony Jeselnik
No one throws him in the ring. We love you tomorrow. He's opening with a Charlie Kirk joke now. It's unbelievable. Yeah.
Matt Peters
I mean, yeah. That was a Stacked lineup that. That benefit. It was cool. Seinfeld came in and, like, Attel and Lewis Black. It was all these people just, like, bringing their A game. It was cool.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah. I didn't get to know him that well at the seller because he, like. I knew him from the roast a little bit, and he was always great to me, but I didn't realize that the seller, like, he would, like, miss spots for, like, a week. And I was like, what's going on with Geraldo? And everyone knew but me. Like, I didn't know, like, what was happening. And then after he passed, I would hear stories of how miserable he was kind of toward the end and, like, doing the roasts. He, like, hated doing the roasts. Really hated them. Like, liked it in the beginning and then just felt like he was stuck doing them. And one of the reasons I, like, did three and then got out was, like, I was just thought about Geraldo. Whoa. And, like, having to repeat it. Doing jokes. Like, Jesse Joyce wrote a lot of his material toward the end because he was just like, I don't care. Right.
Some of those are amazing jokes, though.
You know the Artie Lang story, right?
Matt Peters
Yeah.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah.
I mean, that's like. Like flying him there and had to help him. Yeah. And then trashing him as soon as he got on stage.
Matt Peters
Like, his opener was already. You fat fucking drug addict.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah. And then they
got to do what
Matt Peters
I got to do, I got to do.
Anthony Jeselnik
Damn.
Matt Peters
I miss Artie a lot, too. I hope he's all right. I mean, one of the best dudes.
Anthony Jeselnik
He seems fine.
The fact that he outlived Norm is crazy. No one saw that coming.
He'll outlive everyone.
That's true. So will Stanhope, probably. It's like, Stanhope is our Keith Richards. I look like me this morning in the mirror. Jesus.
Matt Peters
I remember Artie Lang's joke about how NBA is all about education. He's like, oh, yeah, don't go from high school to the NBA. Yeah, right. If you're really about education, then get rid of the dunk contest and have a spelling bee. He goes, would you rather see them dunk again or watch Stephon Marbury spell Wednesday? I remember being like, holy shit. That's a good bit. That's great. Love, Artie.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah.
Matt Peters
So quick, too. On pods and everything was so fucking quick.
Anthony Jeselnik
Geraldo was fun, too, because it was fun to see a guy that smart, that prolific, and also a mess. I feel like we kind of lost that in the arts. You know, you used to have, like, a Bukowski type and all that, but now it's everyone's.
Matt Peters
Well, he was like a rock and roll, but also had the Harvard Law thing. So you're like, oh, you got a little bit of everything. It was kind of cool.
Anthony Jeselnik
That's true.
I always wanted to, like, hang with him and, like, get to know him at this at the Cellar, and it would just be him, like, on the phone with, like, Sprint corporate, like, yelling at them about his plan like, that. I was like, I don't want to talk. I can't. What am I going to say now that I've just heard him screaming at someone? Like, he was just never in that place. But during the roasts, he would. Like the. The last roast he did, I was a writer on it, and I had to do audience warmups where they were, like. They were talking about putting me on that roast in the middle. So I'm, like, waiting to hear the news. Like, am I on this roast? And they call me in, and they're like, we'd love for you to do warmup. And I was, like, so dejected. And they was like, which roast was this? It was the Hasselhoff roast.
Matt Peters
I thought you were on there, and.
Anthony Jeselnik
No, I was on the. The Trump one, the next one. And Jeff Ross had been like, he's been giving away his best jokes for two weeks, like, don't stick him in here. And Hasselhoff didn't want me. Hasselhoff wanted, like, a bigger star, and rightly so. But they call me, and they're like, you're doing warmup? And I, like, I can't say no, because I think if I say no, maybe they don't put me on the next roast. But I was like, this is the worst gig you can get.
Matt Peters
You're also so not a warmup at all.
Anthony Jeselnik
Crazy choice.
Exactly.
Matt Peters
And look, respect. You need warm up, guys. It's a thankless gig, but it's not your act. I hate going first myself. Even on first on a show.
Anthony Jeselnik
Oh, yeah. And they would tell me. They were like, you get a laugh, and then you wait until you sell the next joke so we can use your laughs for the roast. And I'm like, you're not making me like this more. But Geraldo, like, I saw him before at the red carpet, and I'm like, yeah, I'm doing a warmup. And he's like, you're doing a fucking warmup? And then he, like, pumped me up. And I remember walking out on that stage and Gerardo. Because Deus is out there, and Gerardo Stands up and gives me a standing ovation and is like, yeah. And I was like, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. Like, that was like. That meant the world to me. Whoa. That he, like, got me through that. I've got, like, Pam Anderson heckling me behind me, but Gerardo's like, like, standing up at every and clapping, and I didn't understand what my job was at doing warm up. And so I'm roasting people in the audience. And I remember Jeff Ross, even afterwards, was like, I can't believe how you called. You did like eight fat jokes about Nicole Eggert. And I was like, I thought, like, she would be cool with it. And they're like, no one's cool with it. They're in the audience. They didn't know they were getting roasted. Like, I was. It was a terrible, terrible gig. But Geraldo, like, truly got me through it. And then we talked, you know, after the roast, hugged him. And that was the last time I saw him.
Damn, damn, damn.
Matt Peters
I remember we watched Geraldo at Comics back in the day.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yes.
Matt Peters
And we were just super young. And what was it, like 2009 or 10?
Anthony Jeselnik
Something like that.
Matt Peters
It was his last headlining gig there for sure. But I just remember there's just audio of us, like, high fiving. Yeah. We're so happy. We're like, oh, my God, that joke's fucking. It was a great hour. It was his last hour, I guess. But he was a dude that did social commentary. He did, like, the self deprecating stuff. Like, he kind of. He hit every part you'd want as a comic.
Anthony Jeselnik
I mean, his bit about the worst president of all time is still amazing. Stowe.
Matt Peters
What's that one again about? It's about. No, the worst. They were saying Bush is the worst president of all time. And he's like, oh, yes, Selena. Yes, the president of the Selena fan club.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah.
Matt Peters
And then he added that tag, too about Cheney at the end. Remember?
Anthony Jeselnik
No getting shot in the face.
Matt Peters
Yeah, she got shot in the face. That's more vice presidential behavior.
Anthony Jeselnik
That's fun.
Matt Peters
It's like, oh, he always had that one. One last, like the joke about. Remember the joke he had about he heard a guy in the track or, yo, Monica, you got aids. And he's like. Which is already hilarious. But he's like. That's how they tell you. He's like, that Michael Moore's right. We have the worst health care. Always added the extra. You're like, all right, the joke's done. No, it's not. He's always got the one last punch. Yeah. He was one of my favorites, for sure.
Anthony Jeselnik
His bit about soulmates. A gay lion tamer got with a gay lion tamer.
Matt Peters
Oh, brilliant.
Anthony Jeselnik
He was. He was great. Whatever happened to him?
Matt Peters
No. One of the best, man. And then it's interesting because he did a lot of, like. We talking about rock? Rock does a lot of that stuff that.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yes.
Matt Peters
Where he kind of pushes you away in the setup and then. And then brings you back in the punch.
Anthony Jeselnik
I mean, Rock's process is like. It would kill me. It would truly kill me to try to do it the way he does it. What do you mean? Like, just standing on stage, looking at the ground, going, what else? For, like, minutes. And the audience is wrapped. They're like. The audience isn't complaining. They're not like, what's going on? But if I'm not like, joke, joke, joke. Like, I'm losing it. Where he can just stand up there and find something. And a lot of times nothing comes. But his process is just like, I'm going to hang out up here.
Matt Peters
Yeah.
Anthony Jeselnik
The audience is totally cool with me being up here. I'm Chris Rock. But I would just. I would melt.
I would.
I would be just a ball of sweat. And he is just so calm and composed. Doing it with nothing. Yeah, nothing.
And not just nothing. Kind of controversial topics, too. Like, he'll come out there and say, like, I remember he had this whole bit about these movies now where women beat up all. Like, a lady action star is beating up, like, 10 guys. And he's like, man, I could beat your ass. All three of you. If you came, I could kick all your asses. And the women, they weren't into it, but he's just locked in.
Matt Peters
That wasn't a bit. He was threatening some women in the club that night. It was pretty weird.
Anthony Jeselnik
He would tell me jokes. He would tell me jokes that would make me, like, fall on the floor laughing. Like. Like, this would be the centerpiece of my act if I had this joke. And he was like, I can't do it because I don't want to, like, hurt my family's feelings. And I was like, I would throw my family under the bus for that joke so hard.
Yeah.
But he just has incredible stuff that he's like, it's not worth telling. Like, he really thinks about his image and in a way that, like, beyond the joke, that I would not have the. I would not have the ability to do.
Yeah. He told a story years ago about it. They asked him to do the Porn awards. And he was like, nah. And then Jeff Ross did it. And then a year later he got offered Madagascar and he's like, they wouldn't give me that if I did the porn awards. I can't be on this Disney cartoon.
Yeah.
Matt Peters
And also it's like his career is going well enough. He doesn't have to do the porn awards regardless.
Anthony Jeselnik
That's true too.
Matt Peters
Yeah.
Anthony Jeselnik
Remember when he did like the MTV like music awards and just. And like roasted everywhere.
Yes.
Like, I remember he introduced NSYNC as. Who likes lip syncing? Who likes lip syncing? It didn't even say their name. And then that was it. And this was when, like, you could kind of. He was a big enough star and MTV was a big enough thing that you could do that, but he truly didn't give a fuck.
Matt Peters
I heard he called Nicole Eggert fat too. No, he.
Anthony Jeselnik
That's a brutal gig too.
Oh, brutal.
Matt Peters
Oh my God, you bombed it.
Anthony Jeselnik
I did the warm up. I didn't do like actually the TV stuff, but like, I remember Sebastian had a weird one and I think Silverman. It's. It's just there's kids.
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Matt Peters
I remember Dane Cook at like the height of his popularity was like. And just fucking bombed. I was like, this is crazy.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah.
The audience doesn't want to see comedy. No, they're there for themselves. Like, it's. Those are truly the worst gigs you can.
Matt Peters
The Oscars for Kids. Basically, it's even worse than the Oscars.
Anthony Jeselnik
You have to just pretend like it's going great. Like those award shows, like Jo Koy doing the Golden Globes. Like, nobody wants to hear your shit. The audience at home does. So you have to pretend that it's like going great. Just pretend. And if you try to play to fucking Jack Nicholson, who's like six martinis deep, like you're going to bomb that it's just a horrible. A horrible gig. No. And like award shows, I remember someone described it as a room that just fills up with losers. Like, as the awards go on, people are just like, my awards over. I lost.
Yeah.
And it just gets worse and worse. So it's a total hell gig.
Hell gig.
When seeing Jimmy Kimmel, like, just crush it because he just has the timing, knows what the reaction to it Expects and knows he's playing to the TV at home. Like, it's masterful.
Yeah.
Conan really? Host Conan's incredible.
Matt Peters
Conan's unbelievable. I feel like Rock kind of got screwed a little bit when he hosted the Oscars because that was like, right when the sensitivity was turning.
Anthony Jeselnik
Sure.
Matt Peters
And I remember Sean Penn came out like, jude Law is a great American actor. You're all rich and getting laid by everyone. Take a fucking joke.
Anthony Jeselnik
Just joking.
Yeah.
Matt Peters
But, yeah, Rock has so many of those. He gave me confidence in a joke that never fucking worked. Where I saw him and he was like. He was like, oh, I've been telling people this joke of yours. And I was like, it's never worked. But then I told it for, like, another two weeks cause of him. And I was like, nah, it doesn't work.
Anthony Jeselnik
That's what I always loved when comics would make talk you into bombing where they'd be like, that joke. Like, don't listen to people. Like that joke. And then, like, after like, six months, you're like, why am I killing the momentum in my set? I'm gonna drop this.
Matt Peters
I did the thing where I'm like, finding different lead ins and it's still, you know, it's one you stick in a word document and may. Or like, maybe someday, but. Yeah, but that you have those.
Anthony Jeselnik
You know, I gotta ask, was it weird doing last comic standing? Because that's such a weird, networky industry show. It just didn't feel like that was cool they hired you.
Matt Peters
But Norm was on that season too.
Anthony Jeselnik
That's true. Norm was.
I only did it because of Norm. And I thought, if they're hiring me, they want me to be me.
Yeah.
And they did not. They were like, you. You have total script control. So I sat down with Frank Sebastiano and we wrote the scripts. Like, we would just write.
Matt Peters
Who wrote Dirty Work, right? Frank Sebastiano.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah. One of the best joke writers of all time. And we sat and I had a joke for everyone's intro got cut. Every single person I introduced with a joke cut.
All of them.
They cut all of my. Anything that I would have, like, wanted to do. And I remember, like, Norman, I would get into fights live on the air. Yeah. Like, it did not work out between us for the first, like, four episodes. And then we figured it out and we're, like, far apart. Like, Keenan Ivory Wayans wanted to fucking kill me. Roseanne was like. Was being, like, as nice as she could, just, like, to avoid my wrath because I was roasting everyone, treating it like it was my show.
Yeah.
Like, who cares about these comics? Like, it's. This is about me. And then they told me. I remember, like, Wanda Sykes and her producing partner were like, don't worry. We cut out anything that made you look like an asshole. And I was like, I did the show.
That's everything.
To be an asshole.
Matt Peters
Yes.
Anthony Jeselnik
So I remember hating it and sitting backstage waiting for the comics to finish. And there's a hundred comics, and they're all doing the same. Like the gluten free cookie bit. Like, gluten must be the best part of the cookie. I want a cookie made out of gluten. And I'm just like, this is awful. Norm is like, Norm. I remember Norm saying to someone, what the fuck is going on? To a girl on stage whose dad introduced her. Like, they had the dad introduce her. And she finishes and she's like. And she had had a good set. And Norm goes, what the fuck is going on? Because I was told I'd be here to see the funniest people in the 100 funniest people in the country. I don't think you're one of the hundred funniest people in the room. And it's like a room full of, like, cast audience members that I was like, oh, my God, this is going. I thought this was going to be, like, an amazing show because of the tension between me and Norm, because of the fights. Like, have to, like, go and calm down. We would get into fights.
Yeah.
But then we'd come and meet afterwards and be like, this is gonna be good tv. And then they cut all of it.
Matt Peters
And by the end, you and Norm were buddies.
Anthony Jeselnik
We were cool.
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Yeah.
Matt Peters
Yeah. Cause I saw them in the special you talked about.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We figured. We just figured out how to work together. But Norm was. I mean, Norm was out of pocket as a judge with the shit he would say. And I felt like I had to defend some of the comics.
Yeah.
And you really didn't know what he was going to be into from, like, sometimes he'd be like, I didn't like that. I want darker. And then someone come up with the darkest shit. And I'm like, no, you must have loved that. And he'd be like, why do you think I would love that?
Oh.
And I was like, oh, okay. And then, like, where there's tension there, but I'm like, tension makes good tv. Sure. Especially reality tv. And Last comic standing, they wanted none of it. Where if someone bombed and the three judges and I are, like, crying, laughing at, like, how bad they did we're like, this is going to be the best part of the episode. Cut.
What is that?
Because they didn't want to embarrass any comics at this point in the series. There's a reason that you can stream every season of Last Comic Standing, except for mine. It was just bad and. And banal. That it was.
But that's the problem with TV is, like, I feel like if you had that as an Internet show, you'd leave all that in and it would be way more entertaining.
Of course.
That sucks.
I wish. I mean, if they had. If someone told me we have all the fights between you and Norm on. On tape, I would be like, this is going to just, like, shoot it into space.
Yeah.
So that aliens know what greatness is. Like, it was just. It was. It was hard to be dealing with an idol and have it just not be going well. But, like, neither one of us was gonna back down. And I thought, like, this is amazing television.
Yeah.
And they took all of it. That. I was like. I was pretty upset.
Did you kind of want Norm? Because if I had tint with Norm, I would. I would be. I'd crumble. Because I want him to like me, of course.
I mean, I really wanted him to like me. He gave me no choice. And I felt like. I remember saying to someone, I was like, just because I'm Ringo doesn't mean I'm not one of the fucking Beatles. Because they were like, the judges are getting paid more than you. And it was the one gig where I took. Where I'm like, I'm taking less money so I can do whatever I want. Not realizing that when you take less money, you can't do anything you want. They don't give a shit about you. Right. When you're getting a lot of money, then you can, like, you have power. But I was just like, they were just cutting anything. They were like, you do whatever you want. We're cutting it.
Yeah.
So it was. And I realized that almost immediately. It was. It was tough.
You had a great line with Joe List when he was on it. I think he got, like, second or third. He went pretty far. But Norm loved Joe, and Norm was like, joe, you are a great writer. And you went, wow, Joe. Norm just called you ugly.
That was maybe the one joke that they left in of the whole. Of all. Like, I was always trying to riff and find a moment to make it more than just, like, these, like, terrible comics bombing. Like, Joe was great on that show.
Yeah.
The final 10, I was happy with. There were people like, Ms. Pat, who didn't make it that far, that I was like, Ms. Pat is, like, gonna win this thing.
Yeah.
And then they would just. It was just a weird, weird show where they had one segment where they would make. They had Wanda, like, reconstruct people's acts and be like, do it like this. Do it like that. And then they would come out and not do that. Well. And the judges would be like, we didn't like this. And they'd be like, wanda told me to do that. And they would cut that, of course. And then Wanda's furious that it was just, like, a weird.
I hate that.
I mean, it's terrible. It was a bad show. I'm glad it's canceled.
Matt Peters
Same reality TV is.
Anthony Jeselnik
It's just.
Matt Peters
I feel like. You don't watch a lot, do you?
Anthony Jeselnik
No.
Matt Peters
Yeah. I mean, it's tough.
Anthony Jeselnik
I don't watch a lot of tv.
Yeah.
But when I find something I like. Have you guys ever seen the show Mr. In between?
No. What's that?
It is someone recommended to me, like, a week ago, and it was on, like, 2018 to, like, 2020. It's an Australian TV show. It was on FX, and it's about an Australian hitman. So he's, like, going around killing people. He's total badass. But he's got a daughter.
Yes.
And everyone's chill.
I've seen.
He's like, gotta kill you, mate. And they're like, that's the way it cracks. Like.
Yeah.
So it's like you can watch it and it just, like, kind of washes over you. Yeah, I watch. It's like it's got a daughter or
something in the show.
Yeah. It's got, like, 22 episodes, half hour, and I watched it in, like, three days. And it's like my favorite. I wrote the guy and was like that. Your show is fucking amazing. They ended it perfectly. Like, it's an awesome show. Yeah, I. I loved it. Funny, funny, Good monologues.
Have a good. He'll have a whole rant about something.
And it's, like, big on social media now. You see a lot of clips. Mr. In between is the Jam.
Wow. How the hell did you come across that?
Someone. Just like, someone. I was. I like. I have a book club now, and I end it by saying, like. Like, TV's bad, movies are bad. Like, read your books. Because I truly believe that TV and movies have gotten really bad in the past couple years. Corporations, studios forming together. Like, there are fewer movies. They're all trying to be Marvel now. Which is fine, but, like, they're all the same. And TV is now like the streaming. It's like you get 10 episodes every three years. And someone was like, watch Mr. In between. I just looked it up. And if you tell me shows about a hitman and it's good, I'm excited about it. Yeah. Yeah.
Back to just the last comic thing. Don't you get annoyed with these shows where they tell you, they hire you to be you? It's kind of like the morning tv. When you. They bring you on morning TV and you act like yourself and they get mad. Doesn't that drive you crazy? That's. That's what we do.
Matt Peters
Yeah, but when it's a network, they never want. They're full of shit. You know, it's like what he's saying about movies right now, where it's a big studio. They want. They don't want something unique. They don't want a chance. They want what they're like, this will hit.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah, but that's why you like Norm. It's because he's Norm.
Matt Peters
I know. That's why we do comedy clubs.
Anthony Jeselnik
They want to not get fired. The executives on TV shows just want to not get in trouble and not get yelled at. They have to have you on for whatever reason. Like, the club has a deal with them. But I don't do morning shows. And, I mean, I had went through this phase where I had to, and it usually went terribly. Yeah, but I've done show. I remember I doing some show in Australia that's online that, like, went pretty well, but they were like, don't swear. Like, don't do any of your jokes. Don't tell us what the jokes are about. And I ended up just, like, roasting them. Yeah, but it's like, they're. It's just.
Matt Peters
You're not giving me a lot of options as a comedian here.
Anthony Jeselnik
Exactly right. Exactly. But, yeah, I just. I try to avoid all of that stuff.
Yeah.
Matt Peters
Yeah, I do. You watch a lot of old movies. You seem like you would watch old ones.
Anthony Jeselnik
I just watched. Someone recommended Point Blank to me.
Matt Peters
I literally was talking about that movie last night. I love the book series, too. The Richard Stark series.
Anthony Jeselnik
I've read so many of the Stark books, and it made me want to be reading the book instead of watching the movie. And they've made, like, eight different versions of Point Blank, like the Payback. Yeah.
Matt Peters
Point Blank's the best one, though.
Anthony Jeselnik
I think it was great. It was great, but it just. Again, I just was like, I'd rather be Reading the book right now.
Matt Peters
The book series is awesome. It's the Parker series. So that's a good wreck too, if you haven't seen that.
Anthony Jeselnik
So great.
Matt Peters
But yeah, that's like, kind of like a forgotten.
Anthony Jeselnik
Cool. I found a first edition copy of I forget. It's. I don't know if it's called Playland. It's. It's. It's a Westlake Parker book, but it takes place in an amusement park where, like, mobsters chase him into an amusement park. And it's basically die hard, like, 30 years before die Hard came out, he's in an amusement park, like, killing all these guys with the rides and shit.
Matt Peters
Those books are funny, too. That's the thing, too, is, like, they're just blunt and funny and. Yeah. Awesome. Awesome series.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah.
I don't know. Point Blank is a movie.
Yeah. Leave Marvin.
Oh, okay.
Matt Peters
It shot really cool, too. It has, like, a weird vibe that it's. I think it's like the late 60s or something. I don't know when it was late 60s.
Anthony Jeselnik
Like, the dean from Animal House is one of the villains.
Like, it's just like Dean Wormer.
It's great.
All right, I'll check that out.
Yeah.
Matt Peters
Dean Martin.
Anthony Jeselnik
Huh?
Matt Peters
Oh, Animal House. No.
Anthony Jeselnik
Dean.
Matt Peters
Warmer. I think of the Ned Beatty. Never mind.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah, Ned Beatty. Deliverance.
Matt Peters
Yeah. Tough role.
Anthony Jeselnik
Tough role, especially get recognized.
Matt Peters
Good for him.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah.
Matt Peters
Someone had to do that role. That's a tough one to be recognized.
Anthony Jeselnik
I was so bad for him. You heard the story that, like, the director was like, what would. Did you ever get bullied when you were a kid? And he was like, yeah, they would tell me to squeal like a pig. They call me fat. And then he had the actors say that to him without telling him anything, where he's, like, having, like, a fucking, like, breakdown on. Like, they got the performance, but it was.
That's a great actor.
Yeah.
Let that in.
Matt Peters
Yeah, he's an. He's a hitman. Another. He's a hitman. And I think Mikey and Nikki. Yeah.
Anthony Jeselnik
Wow.
Matt Peters
Good flick, too.
Anthony Jeselnik
Not very intimidating guy.
Matt Peters
That's a 70s flick. That's a cool one. I got. I got a movie wreck.
Anthony Jeselnik
Please.
Matt Peters
Anatomy of a Murder, Jimmy Stewart, entire score by Duke Ellington. Really cool. It's a. It's like. If you like the, like, courtroom drama type, great dialogue. Like.
Anthony Jeselnik
Is that a Hitchcock movie?
Matt Peters
No, it's Otto Preminger. But it's awesome, dude. It's an awesome.
Anthony Jeselnik
Never heard of that.
Matt Peters
Yeah, very cool. Yeah, that's an old.
Anthony Jeselnik
That's a Fun one.
Matt Peters
That's a cool one. Peter Falk and Cassavetes. Elaine May directed it.
Anthony Jeselnik
Whoa, Slow as fuck.
Matt Peters
First 25 minutes you got to get through, but then it's awesome.
Anthony Jeselnik
Okay, but.
Matt Peters
All right, so you've toured with Rock. You've. I mean, we. I think we were talking once when I was out here, you were saying that you don't go out till you have 45 minutes on the road.
Anthony Jeselnik
On my last tour, because it was like my 20 year anniversary. My agent was just like, just go pick six clubs and go. And I had 30 minutes, so I had to fill 15 pretty quickly. first it was like, let me do class, like, jokes, my favorite jokes. My old specials. Hated that. Like, it just felt like, it felt hard to do. And I was like taking questions. And a lot of my last hour came from that. But people be like, talk about norm, you know, so I've got a norm story. Talk about the roast. I had my, like, Tyson story of, like, jokes that would get cut. And now I'm taking questions and it's all like, none of it's going to make it into my act that I don't know what. Maybe I just used up all the, the things people were interested in.
Yeah.
But now I had like, I went out with 45 minutes to clubs and now try building it for. I'm doing clubs until I just went out a few months ago, until September and then going into theaters. But I've got like 50, 55 and hopefully I'll have the hour by then.
Well, you kind of have a level, like a standard that you can't go under it. You know, people expect a certain amount of quality from you, joke wise and all that. So if you dip, that's a bad look.
Yeah. And I think people, like, I mean, if I pull out the paper and like, I'm trying out new jokes, people are thrilled, whether they're bad or good. You know, they enjoy me making the check mark or being like, oh, geez, I'm laughing at how bad it is. I could never do what. And I don't judge comics for doing this. When they're like, it's a workout weekend.
Yeah, I can't do that.
Like, I'm going to a club just to work stuff out. Come and check it out. Like, I just feel like I've set my bar.
Yeah.
The comics I respect the most now are the ones who just have a high bar because it's like, you see a lot of people. I won't name any names, but you can tell almost who got a too special deal from Netflix. Because they will. They'll say, you get a two special deal. You're ready with this one.
The first one's pretty good.
We need the new one instead. Six months.
Yes.
And you can tell which one is that six month one. That I'm just like, I could never do that. That I've always done, like, one special. When I'm ready, we'll do it. And I'm happy to take longer, but I want to be able to just tour it everywhere. And I tape a special because I've run out of places to go with it.
Yeah.
It's not like I'm just like, all right, time to put out a special. It's like, I enjoy the live performance so much, and I want to go everywhere.
Matt Peters
Totally.
Anthony Jeselnik
I want to go to, like, some fucking casino in Mississippi where everyone's in oxygen tanks and see how it goes there. Because once it's done, once the special's out, it's over. And I have to almost mourn the material.
Yeah.
I get into the new one, and I always say I might be retiring.
Yes.
Because I have to feel that way in order to put everything into it. And then when I'm done, I'm like, well, let's. If I get one more joke, then I kind of have to tell that joke. And then I need to build an hour around it.
Yeah.
But I never know what it's going to look like. It's very daunting that this. This truly might be it. We're like, now I have the book club. I'm getting into that book world. I'm being asked to write forwards for books that I really like or, like, interview authors. And so I think my next chapter might be more on the writing side of things, but. And travel has become, like, the bane of my existence.
It's a nightmare.
Like, airports have gotten worse and worse. Like, my new thing is I don't take connecting flights anymore. Ah. I just fly as close as I can get and then get driven to wherever I have to go. Because I just hate the airport experience that I could see this being the last hour. And I'm gonna milk it, like, every other weekend. If I tape a special, years from now, that's okay. There might not even be a special market in, like, three years. You know, if people decide when I
Matt Peters
feel less special, more every year, they
Anthony Jeselnik
definitely feel less special. But Amazon and Hulu got in the mix, so it became a competition again. But when they're like, we'll license it, like, you're not licensing shit. Like, not from me. Like, you either buy it or I'm not doing that. I don't want to put anything on YouTube at. Just at this point that I might not do a special. Like, Tosh hasn't done a special in 15 years.
I miss Tosh.
Matt Peters
Came up before us. We needed YouTube. We. No one would buy our shit. So our. Our first specials that pop to us were YouTube. It was, you know.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah. But that was before it got saturated, too.
Matt Peters
Yeah.
Anthony Jeselnik
YouTube is the future. Like, again, I don't judge. I understand why. But, like, for me, it's like, I just. I've gotten paid double for every special I've done.
Whoa.
You know, and if that continues, you'll get another one. But if they're like, we'll give you the same.
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Wow.
Anthony Jeselnik
I'll keep the hour. Like, Tosh has the hour and just tours when he wants to.
I'd love to see.
And once you have enough specials out, like, you don't really need more. You know, if someone do have a Netflix special, it's like, I've got three. So, like, what does a fourth do for you compared to just having an hour?
Yeah.
Where you make so much more with that. That. I like the idea of just having an hour and never retiring.
Yeah.
Just taking my time and doing what I want to do.
Like a Leno. Just have your hour.
Yeah.
And never post it anywhere. But don't you feel like, to me, it's about the boulder pushing it up? You know, it's just. That's something to do. Work on the new hour. Then when you put one out, you work on the next one.
Of course. But the boulder is getting heavier.
Yes.
And I'm running out of. Out of things to. To talk about, you know, that eventually, like, I'm very happy with and proud of my new hour, but I'm surprised because I was like, maybe I'm done after the last one. But I'm like, you find the way. And that is fun. But I'm like, but don't you say that every hour. Every time. But I'm getting older.
It's a young man's game. The traveling, the jokes are so short. It's hard.
Matt Peters
Well, you have this postpartum funk after you get rid of the material, and you're just, like, depressed, and you're like, what the fuck am I? Because you feel like you are the act. I identify as like this. I feel it's tough because towards the end, you're like, I'm killing. But I also feel like who gives a shit? I know these work. Cause I'm about to tape. So they better work kind of.
Anthony Jeselnik
But, like, I'll tape the special, and right when I'm, like, right about to be burned out, and then I kind of get a second wind and go to Europe and do other things where like. And I'm like, I want to kill myself if I have to do this again.
Yeah. Yeah.
And then the last show, I'm on stage being like, I wish there were six more months of this tour like you. It's like. It's a mental thing where I thought about, like, going to a hypnotist to be like, make yourself think every show's the last show, you know, and then you have that energy. Because if you're doing two shows in a night, the first show you're thinking about that late show in the late show shows, like, almost easier whether. And they're both good shows. You wouldn't be able to tell the difference because I'm professional, but. But it's that it's so much of it is mental.
Yeah.
I just think, like, when I'm in my 50s, which I will be when I'm writing the next hour, like, what is that? I know that the idea of having something else right to do would be nice. So who knows what happens and what the. What the industry looks like?
Yeah. I heard Jim Jeffries say, I think he's done eight YouTube specials. And he's like, do I need a ninth? Does that make a difference? What are we doing here?
Matt Peters
He told me once in a bar, and he goes, I've done nine specials, and each one is worse than the next.
Anthony Jeselnik
Oh, that's scary, too.
Matt Peters
Oh, no, it's in the last, rather. Yeah, but, you know, I mean. Yeah, you're right. You get burnt out. You run out of ideas, especially your style, which is like, you're hiding the ball. You're tricking the audience, you know? But your style is, like, weirdly palatable. Like, I can show clips of you to my mom, and she'll laugh because of the writing, you know? So in a weird way, your style doesn't seem that. Like, I hear you get called as a dark comedian, but you don't seem like a dark comedian to me. It just seems like it's. You know, it's. It's a. It's a turn. It's a right turn.
Anthony Jeselnik
I have dark subjects, but it's not always a dark joke.
Matt Peters
Right.
Anthony Jeselnik
It's like making light of something. And that's one of the things that. That Makes appeals to me to doing another one after this. Is that like, when your back is truly against the wall, then what do you come up with? And I am getting better, you know, just because of like doing it for 25 years to like, what does that look like? Which always makes me think, like, what if I did it again? People are like, what if you just did stories? Or it's more like your podcast where you're just kind of talking and that's fine. But I feel like my audience wants to see the hard work. Like, they're like, wow, this guy really, like carved the sculpture out of like ivory. And we get to like, appreciate it for 45 minutes to an hour.
Yeah, that.
Who knows? But I have to treat each hour like it's my last. Just for my own mental well being.
Yeah.
But I'm sure when I'm done, I'll want to get back on stage and do it again. Yeah, but that's gonna kick in, I
think later a couple years go by where you're doing the book club and you're gonna be itching. I gotta get back out there, gotta do another hour.
Matt Peters
But it's good to miss it.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah, of course.
Matt Peters
We talk about that all the time. The burnout is real. Like, I, I do feel burnt out from the road. This is the first time I've taken like, real time off the road. And I feel bad. Pretty good.
Anthony Jeselnik
I'm every other weekend now because the worst part for me was landing at LAX on a Sunday, knowing I had to come back on Wednesday.
Matt Peters
Well, the road out of LA is
Anthony Jeselnik
something that was, what was like murder to me that like now I come back on Sunday, I have the next weekend off, and I come back the next Wednesday and I'm like, okay, this is much easier.
Yeah.
Than it used to be. But I'm happy to take the time before I felt like I would get rusty if I wasn't out every weekend. Now I'm like, you know what? I'm almost better.
Really?
Almost like, I'm like, people are like, I've never seen you have so much fun on stage. Like you're laughing on stage. And I used to know I'm stone faced. And then it's like, because it's, it's, it's still fresh to me that I can enjoy it more instead of just like being a machine.
Yeah. It's kind of like seeing a girl every other weekend. You're like, ass is still fun. But if I see every weekend, it's brutal.
Aren't you married?
Yes. But that's why I do the road quite a bit.
Matt Peters
It is good to miss things.
Anthony Jeselnik
It is.
Matt Peters
You need to miss things to still love them.
Anthony Jeselnik
Colin Quinn was like, you don't get. You don't, like, forget how to do stand up. People think you have to get up every night. Like, no, you don't.
You feel a little rust, though. Don't you have that little. Like, oh, wait, I'm a little slower here.
Matt Peters
A little.
Anthony Jeselnik
A little rusty and that, like, I have to kind of like, my memory. I'm using more of my memory to be like, where am I? But in a way that makes the show better, I think. You know, if I have to look at my set list for a second. Okay. I'm glancing down when I take a sip of water, but it's still, like, it's more fresh in my head. Like, a lot of actors will say, like, they, like, memorize the script and then forget about it for a week. So when they come in, they're fresh. Right. And I think there is something to that in stand up that you can only get once. You've been doing it for, like, over 20 years, and you kind of just have a little more confidence in. It will come to you.
Yeah. I have a theory that comics have the least dementia because we're constantly using our brain. We're trying to remember stuff, we're writing jokes that you meet a million people, then you have to get on a flight, you have to look at everything. I think that keeps us sharp, you
Matt Peters
know, These are true.
Anthony Jeselnik
That's my theory. Well, you know, these old guys.
It's certainly a theory. I forget. I've met so many people where they're like, hey, how's it going? I'm like, hey, what's up? How's it going? And then somebody. They walk away and someone's like, you hate him. Like, why were you so nice? I'm like, I have no idea who I was talking to. Like, I have no idea.
Matt Peters
But it's someone you hated.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah. Or like, I. We had a bad experience, like a club owner that I got into it with, you know, and then you, like, see him at Montreal, and they're like, how's it going? You're like, great. How are you? Good. How are the kids? And like. Yeah. You despise that person.
Yeah. Well, I mean, like, I just think, you know, you're. My dad will do these little puzzles because he's like, I'm trying to keep my brain fresh, but I think we're doing puzzles every night on stage and Set lists and all that. That's a theory. Maybe, like, maybe Harvard Harlan Williams is dementia. But, you know, I think. I think we're just staying fresh all the time. We don't need the puzzles. It's a theory.
I can see what you're saying. You got to memorize your act, and then you have to be able to be quick in the moment. Whereas, like, actors are trained to, like, memorize everything and then forget it forever. Lawyers are trained to memorize everything and memorize it forever.
Yes.
Where they got, like, know the rules of the law that, like, everyone's brain works a little differently.
Yeah.
I can see the comic brain being better.
And then we can go, like, look at. Don Rickles goes forever. Joan Rivers goes forever.
I got bad news about both of them.
Matt Peters
We were deprived some good Joan years at the end. I feel like she should have had a few more years.
Anthony Jeselnik
I think she's underrated.
I got to. I got to meet her. I got to work with her. I got to have her on my show, which was great. Like, Joan Rivers was huge for me.
Yeah.
I still have, like, a framed, like, note card she sent me.
Whoa.
Like, just thanks. I was. She had a show called In Bed with Joan and sent me a card to be like, thank you. And when she died, like, I enjoy. She was, like, scared of me. It was when I had the Jessalyn, like, offensive, and she thought I was gonna come on and roast her, but I was like, no, I think you're the most pure comedian there is, and you've never apologized. And I think the episodes got taken down. They might be up back again. I remember this, but when she died, I was upset, and I went back and watched it, and I had seen it the first time and then turned it off, but at the end, I just let it keep running. And at the end, it's her sitting at her kitchen table, kind of deconstructing the interview and being like, you know, I thought he was gonna be mean, but he was actually so. And I think he's just so funny. And, like, her talking about me felt like, like, that was the goodbye. Like, it was just this, like, amazing moment to be able to watch after. After she had passed. But I thought the world of Joan Rivers to be able to help her, like, be with the kids again.
Right.
She was thrilled to be on Comedy Central, and. And I'm glad she got to be back on the Tonight Show.
Yeah.
Before she.
Matt Peters
That was so stupid, dude.
Anthony Jeselnik
So dumb.
Matt Peters
You can't do that.
Anthony Jeselnik
So dumb.
What do you mean?
Matt Peters
Carson Bander.
Anthony Jeselnik
Oh, that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Matt Peters
You gotta take work as a comedian.
Anthony Jeselnik
But I get why Carson banned her.
Matt Peters
Yeah.
Anthony Jeselnik
Because she didn't ask permission to be on the show. I don't know why Leno didn't have her back. Leno was like, if Carson banned her, it's almost like when Pete Rose got banned and then the guy died like, a week later. And so the next guy couldn't reverse it. Yeah. Because Roselle was so beloved that it's like, why can't reverse this? This guy just died. Whereas if he had lived, maybe in like a year or two, they let him back in. But I also think that's stupid. But, yeah, I get it. But I was glad that Fallon, like, the first thing he did was bring Joan Rivers back.
Matt Peters
Yeah.
Anthony Jeselnik
She was thrilled to do it.
And talk about not giving a fuck. There's a montage of her on YouTube just if you ever get bored of her doing the red carpet roast. And it is. She says shit. Where you're like, jesus Christ, that was on NBC or whatever.
One of my. I love Joan to pieces, but one of my favorite things was when she died. Twitter was like an outpouring of comedians being like, we love her. And then someone was like, anthony, you've got to see this. And it was all of her writers from Fashion Police or whatever, where she would, like, they wanted to unionize, and she fought them on every step of the way of, like, we're too. We're too expensive of a unionize. You're not getting. You know, we're paying you what we're paying you. You're lucky to have this job. And they were celebrating her death like it was Osama bin Laden, really. And it was like, to watch every. All this outpouring of, like, heartfelt tributes, and then to see people being like, I'm glad she's dead. Was. Even to me, was funny. I'm sure she would have appreciated it.
Yeah.
If she had seen it.
Damn.
Matt Peters
It is interesting because you're a dick on stage. So if you're. I think the bar is lower for you off stage. So if you're, like, even kind of nice, you're like, oh, that guy's really nice.
Anthony Jeselnik
Oh, yeah. I hear that all the time about you. He's actually a nice guy.
Yeah. People, I think. I think it's easier for me to be nice because people come up afraid already. So it's easy to kind of like, okay, let me downplay this. Where it's the guys who seem nice on stage who have to Be dicks.
Matt Peters
Nice offstage.
Anthony Jeselnik
But I think of, like, Louie Anderson. Like, you saw Louis, you're like, louie, you want to come up and like, was he a belly? I think he would have to be to keep your boundaries. I know that. I bet Brian Regan, like, like, drives him crazy. I've heard Seinfeld will, like, just ignore people completely because they want to come up and like, I loved your show. And he's like, I know you did. Everybody did. You know that. Like, because of that, he has to be.
We all know how psycho Nate can be. Remember hanging out with Nate in the early years? You're like, you're terrifying. And now he's, you know, he's the squeakiest clean guy. Great guy, but he'll. He'll bite your head off.
I don't hang with Christians.
Matt Peters
Nice guy is kind of a trap in the rest of your life.
Anthony Jeselnik
Well, Regan's a booze bag. I mean. Yeah, you gotta. You gotta.
If people know you as nice, they just want to like the people who.
Matt Peters
You can't have a bad day.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah. Like, Sarah Silverman used to say that her fans were crazy because they all thought they were the only one, because she would get so much shit that everyone. People would be, like, obsessive, that she had to protect herself. Why didn't people just think, I'm, like, a psychopath, so if I'm. You're just like, oh, you're normal. It's. I'm not like, that. Nice. I'm just not, like, going to kill you.
Yeah. Evil.
I don't carry knives.
Do you ever find that a crowd just doesn't get you because you have a thing? And sometimes there's like, what's up with this guy? He's just mean and dark.
Yeah. I mean, it happens a lot if I'm on, like, an improv or, like, a showcase show with a bunch of. Of people.
Yeah.
But I remember my brother came to see me once, and I was like, oh, I just bombed. And he was like, you didn't bomb. He was like, half the audience was laughing, and the other half had their jaw on the table. Like, oh, my God. Like, what's he doing? Where they're not, like, upset, they're just shocked.
Yeah.
That I'm not like other people. Most people think of comedy as, like, airline food, and they want. They want hack. You know, they. They come for hack.
Exactly.
And they expect it. So when you're, like, the opposite, they're just kind of in shock. But you're not having a bad set. They're just experiencing it in a different way. Maybe they're not laughing, but they're not. Like, they're enjoying themselves.
Yeah, but you're still established now. People know who you are. But in the early days, that must have been hard. You must have wanted to pivot so badly. Just like, maybe I'll switch. It's not. They're not getting it.
I knew if I pivoted, I would fail.
Wow.
I knew that there was no. And I have friends who have said, like, they changed their act on the road and they come back to LA and their act doesn't work anymore.
That's great.
And I was like, I'm just gonna. I'd rather bomb until people figure it out. And I thought there was a joy in people watching me. And, like, no one's laughing, but it makes them laugh more because the table, like, I get a lot of letters of, like, I loved you more because the audience next to me hated you.
Right.
And so that made me like you more. And so I just like, let's lean into that. Yeah. And I mean, I like the energy, but if, like, the audience is kind of like, fuck you. Like, that's fun, too. Like, it's still entertaining. And I believe in my jokes.
Yeah. I just think it's commendable in those early years when you're, like, you're scrounging, but you stayed in the pocket.
I had. I had that period of about eight months from when I quit Fallon and started headlining. Yeah. Where I had an album out. So I had some fans who knew what I was all about, but people who, like, got flyered into the room and I'm, like, eating shit. And then the Trump roast happened, and the next day it was sold out with everyone knowing. It's dark jokes. And then things were different, but going. I mean, if I'm at a show with, like, Nikki Glaser and Chelsea Handler, they're there to see Nikki Glaser and Chelsea Handler. And I am a shock. And it's fun because it reminds me of when I started out.
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Right.
Anthony Jeselnik
And when I was just a big surprise.
Yeah.
That was interesting.
Matt Peters
There's gotta be moments of self doubt, though, in those eight months where you're just like, what the fuck? Like those. Those bombs to the hotel when you're in the room and you're like. Like, those are long nights. Till the next set.
Anthony Jeselnik
It was a long night. I mean, opening for people as a feature act was worse. Sure, it was worse.
Matt Peters
Who were you paired with?
Anthony Jeselnik
Sometimes I would be. I was pretty lucky. And Then I got to go with established people. But if I opened for Doug Benson, I bombed so hard that people would leave before Doug.
Matt Peters
This guy's not talking about movies.
Anthony Jeselnik
They would be so mad at what I was doing. But if I opened for Brian Posayn, they loved me. Like, they loved me or Sarah Silverman. They loved me. And I was lucky enough to get to go with Benson and Pose and mostly. But Benson, I would eat shit. But he liked you. He liked. He liked me just because I was, like, fun after the show. And, like, I would get wasted and have a good time.
Matt Peters
By the way, comics don't know enough about that. A lot of it. Just be fucking pleasant.
Anthony Jeselnik
Be a good hang.
Be pleasant. I remember Doug saying, you didn't when you got wasted, and I would be like, blackout. He was like, you didn't try to wrestle me or hug me. I think it's the guys who, like, get, like, modeling or start crying or, like, one hug or like, this is the best time of my life. He's like, you just didn't touch me. Yeah. Don't be the guy who wrestles when he gets drunk. Don't be the guy who sings the Humpty Dance.
Yeah.
You know, in the back of the car. And you can get as up as you want.
Damn. Shouldn't have touched Doug. I up. Where is Doug? I haven't seen that guy in 10 years.
He's around.
Okay.
He grew his hair out. He's doing his thing.
Oh, all right.
Yeah.
I used to do Doug Love's movies once a month. Remember? That show is huge.
He still does it, but he. I don't. He just doesn't ask the same people, I guess. He's doing as part of the festival. I think it's around.
All right, great.
Matt Peters
What's your favorite part of Europe to hit when you're. When you're traveling for crowds and just to chill?
Anthony Jeselnik
I mean, it always changes. I loved Amsterdam. I used to think I would, like, move there. And then last tour, I was there for, like, a week, and I was, like, over it by the end.
Yeah.
Matt Peters
The narrow streets are tough. The bikes. It's hard. It's a walking city, and then it's hard to walk.
Anthony Jeselnik
You just. You just walk through all of it. Like, all right, I'm good.
Matt Peters
Yeah.
Anthony Jeselnik
But I really like. I mean, I love Dublin. I think of it, like, more as what the audience is like, and the audiences were always fun. But I would wake up in some countries where I was like, where the Am I? Like, I don't know. Where I am, I'm in, like, Cyprus or some shit. Where I didn't know. I liked all of Europe. I really liked Berlin. I love the audience. I loved Scotland was really fun. Edinburgh is like, one of those beautiful places I've ever been doing. That festival was great.
You did that?
Yeah.
The full month.
No, I did, like, two nights. I used to want to do the full month because I remember Morgan Murphy went one year a long time ago.
Yeah.
And so she did the full month and ate every night for, like, four people and hated it. But when she came back, she was bulletproof. Like, nothing could throw her. And I was like, I want that. I want to feel like that. And my agent would never let me go because he was like, you're not gonna make any money. And now when I was going through on tour and I got to just do it for, like, two nights, and it was great. But just walking around that city, it's fucking. Just Harry Potter.
Yeah.
Harry Potter in real life, that. I enjoyed that.
I just watched that Hannibal. Did you ever see a Hannibal doc about Edinburgh?
No.
It's pretty great. And he hates it, like, 23 days in, and then he just snaps and then he turns it around. He loves it.
Matt Peters
But there was something about those gigs early on where you're like. You dread those Tuesday through Saturday gigs, but then you come back doing like an hour a night, two hours a night, and you're like, holy shit. I added. So there is that value of just running shit into the ground, whether the crowd's good or not. You figure shit out.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yep.
Yeah.
That's. Comedy is like, you're miserable. You hate it. You get on stage, you have a great time on stage, and so you're like. You're having the worst time of your life for like, two months.
Matt Peters
Yeah.
Anthony Jeselnik
But you're getting better. And the shows again, the shows are like everything where if you had, like, a week off, like, I went and did Asia, I did, like, Hong Kong, Taipei, Tokyo. Brutal. Because I had, like, a week off in between. I'm just sitting in a hotel room in, like, Taipei during monsoon season, paying for three hotel rooms for, like, my opener and my.
Matt Peters
I think I messaged you about this, asking you about this, and you were like, this is a lot.
Anthony Jeselnik
It's a lot. Because I just. In Australia and then New Zealand, and it was like I was ready to go home. So you sit in this hotel room and it's raining too hard to even do anything outside. And then the show was like, they don't understand English humor. So they would come to kind of see a show and it was interesting, but then that's it. And it's like 200 people after you've been doing like thousand seat theaters everywhere.
Matt Peters
And your word choice is so specific. It's not like a big cartoonish act that might translate.
Anthony Jeselnik
It was all expats or like people just not understanding. But you're in this weird venue. I was like, never, Never again. Like, I would go there and visit in a heartbeat. Beautiful places.
Yeah.
But doing a show there was like, why? Why?
And the week off is too much.
It's way too much. It's way too much. And you don't think about it. When the agent sends you the schedule, you're just like, yeah, I want to do all these. And then you get on the plane, you're like, wait, what?
Yeah.
I mean, for how long? That I need to pay more attention to what I'm. What I'm doing.
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Yeah.
Anthony Jeselnik
I had that with us. I did. I've done Australia a couple times, but the last one I did three weeks instead of two. And I was like, I wish I was home at that third week. It was too much.
I thought about going to Australia and like staying for a week before the shows begin. Because you get. And you had like a day or two and then you start.
Yeah.
And that first show, you feel like you're on NyQuil.
You're wonky.
Like you're just like, I don't know where I am. I went started in Perth last time and I was like, why am I in Perth? It's on the other side of the fog. Like, you land in Australia, you have another like four hour flight.
Yeah.
I was like, I just want to give me Melbourne and Sydney, but I got to do the Sydney Opera House. And it was like insane. It felt like, like I've done Sydney Opera House and Carnegie hall. And they were both like, oh, my God.
Yeah.
You really feel every moment of like, this is a career high. You know, I don't know if it gets better than that. People talk about arenas, but I'm like, give me a perfectly built theater.
Agreed.
Where the acoustics are incredible and that is the best you can get.
Wow. Opera House. That's really. When you made it.
It felt. I remember being like, which room in the Opera House? And they're like, the Opera House. I remember like just killing. Having a great time killing. And then right at the end, my last joke, a woman just got up to use the restroom. And the acoustics are so insane that I could hear every Footstep, and I'm still killing, but it's just like, wow. Like, this place is really built for, like, the greatest symphony of all time, but it's just you telling dick jokes, and it just felt incredible. Yeah, I can't wait to go do that.
Carnegie Hall, I said, was built before speakers, so the sound is supposed to be. I opened Jimmy Carr there, and that was a hot show because his crowd just wants jokes. But the problem is Louie was in the front row. So I'm just looking at Louie while doing jokes, and he wants to be supportive. So you do a joke. He'd be like, this is brutal. You're killing me. Sit in the third row or do a set.
Matt Peters
First row's rough.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah.
Matt Peters
Oh, when they sit your family up, what are you doing?
Anthony Jeselnik
I know.
Matt Peters
Telling a blowjob story. I see my mom's face, like, ugh.
Anthony Jeselnik
I'm like, yeah, she's heard it a million times.
Where you at on Jimmy Carr? I think he's top notch.
Oh, he's great. I mean, he's been almost like a mentor to me where, like, I always feel like my. I try to be prolific, and I think about how, like, my idols, I'd like. Like, Stephen Wright was my idol. He put out two specials, you know, put out, like, five or six, you know, But Jimmy Carr is so far ahead of me. Like, it's probably so much.
Yeah.
That he's a guy that I will really sit and try to learn from, that I absolutely love, love Jimmy Carr. I thought it was the last time I heard from Jimmy. He had done that special where he was like, I'm gonna get canceled. Like, the special will get me canceled.
Yeah.
And then he got in trouble for the joke about the Roma. About the Gypsy. The gypsy, yeah. And he was like, would you. He was like, would you put out a tweet or speak out about this? And I was like, motherfucker, the special is about getting canceled. What's your problem?
Matt Peters
And he said he wanted you to be like, this isn't offensive. What does he want you to write?
Anthony Jeselnik
He wanted me just, like, defend him as a comic. And I was like, I'll talk about it on my podcast. And, like, how this is, like, stupid. But he's like. I mean, he's like, you know, escaped through the vent of many a cancellation.
Yeah.
You know, having jokes about, like, soldiers being amputees, where the soldiers come out and say he's visited the hospitals. Like, he can say whatever he wants. Right. Or he said that he had a joke about the Royals or something. I think he, like a tax evasion thing that he got, like a scandal.
Oh, I remember that.
But then, like did a greatest hits tour, right? Yeah. The new king, like, sent him a letter being like, would you write jokes for me? You know, and he's like, has that frame that he's like. I mean, he's bulletproof now, but I love, I love Jimmy Carr.
Yeah, he's. He's got gears too. Like, everybody thinks he's a one liner guy. I saw him at the Cellar a while ago and he was running a Fallon and it was killer. But then he did his five minutes. He's like, all right, let's have some fun. And he just shifts gears and he goes filthy. And the crowd is like, the walls are shaking. Then he could do crowd work, he could riff. I mean, he's, he's got it all.
Yeah, he's great. He's always been supportive. If I go to London, he'll come to the show and you hear that fucking laugh.
Yeah. You know, like, he's weirdly open about his surgery and the transplants and all that too. He's got a lot of wisdom. Like, I'll see him on these smart guy pods, these intellectual pods. And he says shit, where you're like, that's great. That's really smart.
Matt Peters
Yeah. I mean, he's concise in every way.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah.
Matt Peters
Jokes, thoughts. Yeah, he's good at that.
Anthony Jeselnik
I went to London once and it was a terrible week in London. My first time ever there. I'm doing the Soho Theater and it was when it was like during Edinburgh. So that none of the comics are in town. Yeah. So it's the loneliest week of my life. I'm just like miserable in. It's so hot. I'm just doing a seven o' clock show and there's no opener even. It's just me doing it for an hour. And Jimmy has me over to his house. It's me, he has me and Jim Jeffries over. He's showing me around, he's showing me everything. And then he comes to the show that night and I make a joke about like the cab driver drops me off at the house and he's like, wow, what do you got to do to get a house like this? And I go, tax evasion. And then I tell that joke at the show and everyone laughs. Jimmy laughs. And I'm like. And then Jimmy had these TVs. He had like his flat screen TVs outside that. He was like, I got these from children's Burn Units. Because they have to keep it so moist in there. If they have a TV that was special coating so it can rain on it. And then I'm like. And then he's got these TVs and, like, people are laughing and Jimmy's laughing a little bit less. And I'm like, oh, I'm telling too much about your life right now. I need to stop this. But he's always been. He's always been fantastic and a guy. I will, I will. I would ask advice of Jimmy Carr. As much as I, like, adore Chris Rock, Jimmy Carr is more like. Like me. Sure that I. He would be a guy I would go to for advice if I did that kind of thing.
Jimmy's also.
Matt Peters
Tax evasion.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah, exactly.
Well, you never saw him start really. Like, I felt like he was. I just saw him. He was amazing. I never. You never saw, like, the early years, remember on.
Matt Peters
On Comedy Central?
Anthony Jeselnik
Blue up your own shit. Yeah.
What was it, fatter then?
Matt Peters
Distraction, right?
Anthony Jeselnik
Was that it? I don't know.
I think it was distraction. You had to, like, put your own stuff on. On, like in a box. And if you got the question wrong, they would destroy your thing instead of winning the other thing.
Yeah, I don't remember this.
Matt Peters
It was on Comedy. Put Comedy Central.
Anthony Jeselnik
Oh, wow. Yeah.
Matt Peters
I remember his late night sets.
Anthony Jeselnik
Killer.
Matt Peters
I feel like we were like, maybe we were the last era of comics that were, like, desperately trying to get on late night.
Anthony Jeselnik
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Matt Peters
That was the thing. I mean, some comics are pumped to do Fallon once or something, but it's not a thing really.
Anthony Jeselnik
But it was even before the Internet made it a thing where it was like, just to have the credit.
Yes.
For them to say you've seen him on Kimmel was like a huge uplift.
Totally.
We used to care about. I don't know if you guys. Did you guys ever care about Premium Blend? Was that a thing for you?
Matt Peters
We were right.
Anthony Jeselnik
After that, it was like, you got premium blend, then you got a late night, then you got a half hour. And it was before even, like, half hour seemed like the biggest thing.
Matt Peters
Yeah, you could headline off that back. Young comics can't headline off that anymore because now they're going against. Against TikTok people and YouTube people. But you got a Conan set. They're like, all right, I guess he could maybe do an hour. And it was a life changer.
Anthony Jeselnik
But I remember there were like five. It was a five year period where the only thing that sold tickets was if you said you'd been on Chelsea Handler.
I remember that.
That was the. And it was the only. And I had never been on Chelsea Handler, but that was the only thing that sold tickets. And Netflix changed everything. Like, all of a sudden, Comedy Central was doing a lot of specials, and then Netflix just took over.
Yeah. Yeah. That Handler was like Bobby Lee, Moshe, Natasha Jo Koy. Yeah, they were killing it.
But now with podcasting, I mean, podcasting at first, like, it cut out morning radio.
Thank you.
You could go sell tickets without having to do morning radio because of your podcast. And now let's cut out comedy clubs where you people go. I feel like people go straight from. Not everybody. People go straight from the podcast to a theater because they have that market where they can sell out a theater where a lot of these comedy clubs I'm going to, they're like, thank God you're here.
Really.
Because the big names just are skipping clubs altogether. It's the guys who have the same act every year.
Yeah.
Through. And it's diminishing returns.
That's why I need the clubs. I'm back in the clubs now to
Matt Peters
work out, and I'm have to start back up soon. I'm not at enough time yet to do. To do it again, but I. Hopefully soon.
Anthony Jeselnik
You know, I love the clubs. And then when I go to theaters, I'm like, thank God I'm out of the clubs. But I love that, like, give me brick walls and a low ceiling.
Same.
It's so much. It's so much fun.
Yes.
And then you get to a theater. Like, I did the theater Tuesday, and I was like, I'm so glad I had that club experience to get. Otherwise, I wouldn't be appreciating. I wouldn't be feeling it the same way.
Yeah.
But it's. Clubs are nice to build up.
Matt Peters
And also right before you tape, there's something about, like, the repetition right before you tape where you're just like, oh, I feel fit. And when you're just building up, you're like, oh, I can. I can bomb here a little more than I can. And I can't do this in the theater. I can build up.
Anthony Jeselnik
Yeah. Yeah. Theaters are more of a presentation. Here's my act or a club. I feel like I'm tinkering.
Like, I was talking to Bert Kreischer, and he was like. He's like, arenas are the perfect way to get ready for a special. I was like, please tell me why this is crazy. He's like, because everyone's watching you on the screen. So he's like, it's like as if you're taping the special every night where you just know how it's gonna play on a screen.
Yeah.
Versus. Versus. When you're in a club. When you just really don't know what it looks like.
Yeah.
That was like, oh, I could see that making sense to you.
Say we will. About Bert. He knows marketing and, like, those little tricks. Like, you know his special. Two of his specials have the most retention, like, record. And he knows all these moves. Like, put the closer first or cut out this, cut out that. Like, he got. He gave me for. He's like, don't talk about the city you're in on a special. Don't. Don't have, like, an intro. Just get right to it. I think he kind of started a lot of that.
Matt Peters
Sometimes the intros, like, it depends who you are. I thought the Rory Scoville did one of those intros that was really funny.
Anthony Jeselnik
They're great.
Matt Peters
Yeah. I mean, it depends who you are.
Anthony Jeselnik
Depends who you are.
Matt Peters
I don't like this one size fits all. Like, this is what you do.
Anthony Jeselnik
He's dialed in with that shit.
Matt Peters
Yeah. A lot of people are. A lot of people who have hit a certain level of success are like, it's this or nothing. It's like, every fucking comic's different.
Anthony Jeselnik
I know Seinfeld's like that. He's absolutes. You can't gain four pounds or you're different. You can't wear leather on stage or whatever. You're like, all right.
Yeah, I don't believe in any of that. Yeah. I've talked about the city I'm in. Like, I don't have it. All my specials start with me on stage. Like, mid. But I talk about the city you're in. Like, why wouldn't you? Yeah, if you have a good joke.
Exactly.
If you're just like, New York City. And they're like, yeah, like, who cares? But you have to have something to say about it.
Yeah, agreed.
Matt Peters
But where are you going to be coming up on tour?
Anthony Jeselnik
Anthony knows. Let's see. Let's. Let's click on the link. Brea, Spokane. I love all the clubs around la.
Yeah, me too.
And I'm just doing, like, clubs I really like. Fort Wayne is awesome. Talk about brick walls, low ceiling. Oklahoma City, I love. I just had to move that.
Matt Peters
It's a good one.
Anthony Jeselnik
That'll be there. And I'm doing that. Eugene, Oregon. Olsen Run Comedy club. Kevin Nealon. I hear great things about it.
Yeah. I never heard of it.
And they were like, and you set your own ticket price that I. You say what you want. And then like, Ali Wong came and did like $80 tickets for like two weeks, just two shows a night, and killed it. And I was like, okay. And they're like, what? And they're like, what do you think, Anthony? $45 for your tickets? And I was like, I think so. And then I look at the website and it's all. Everyone's less than 45. People are like 25, 35, whatever. And then there's someone named Ashley Gavin.
Oh, I know ashley.
Who had $50 tickets. And I was like, 55. Like, I don't know who this is, but I got to be more than her. But. But, yeah, that's sold out. And then I'm ending. I'm doing that some thing in. In Canada. Part of that, a great outdoors fest. Oh. Which is. It's always fun, but they're always like, it's going to be you, Sarah Silverman, Chris Rock, and Bill Burr. And I'm like, awesome. And then they announce it and it's like Jeselnick, Pete Davidson, like, Jordan Jensen. And I'm like, where the. What happened to the other people that I bailed? Yeah, but. But no, that'll be fun. And then I. I'm going to announce the theater tour in June.
Matt Peters
Nice.
Anthony Jeselnik
And do every other weekend theaters. And I want to do a thing where I, like, I go to the city and I can enjoy the city. You know, like, I'll go to Minneapolis and see how many shows I can do in that theater and just hang out. Instead of, like, you get there, you go to the hotel, you shower, you go to the show next morning, like, you're flying and I'm just. I want to try to just chill it out.
Yeah. Yeah.
Matt Peters
The airport's ruining, man. I hopefully will do a tour bus for as long as I can physically, but I just like waking up and getting a day in the city.
Anthony Jeselnik
It kills your profit margin. Would you ever do the private?
I've done. The only time I take a private is if. Is if it's like, I've got to fly to a city that day and I've got to take a connecting flight, you know, where it's like, it's not that far. It's like just far enough not to drive.
Right.
But it's going to be like six hours. And I'm like, give me. I'll pay the 10 grand for a private jet, but that's like my limit.
Yeah.
It's like one hour in the air. On a private jet, just to cut that out. But I hate that expense. My thing is, just go. Let me go by myself and meet the opener there. I'm tired of having the team. I had the tour manager and the opener and the photographer, and I was like, I feel like I'm, like, hosting a party.
It's too much that I just want
to, like, get off the plane, walk to my car. Yeah. And then have everybody meet me there.
I agreed.
Yeah.
These. These entourage people. I don't get it. It's a lot of work.
It's a lot of work because you
got to save that for the stage, all that. Also socializing. Do you. Do you watch special still?
No. Occasionally I'll watch something. I just rarely. I go to see shows. I went sucker Roy Scoville's new hour right before he taped. I think he's, like, the best one working right now. So funny, because a lot of people like you just. You get to a level and then you kind of coasting. You're hanging on to what you have, and it's great. But Rory just, like, has been stepping up that I really love. I love silly, you know?
Matt Peters
Yeah.
Anthony Jeselnik
I don't want to see moms like, I'm dark. You'd love it. Like, no, I wouldn't. Yeah. Like, that's what I do. But I really love Rory. He's like, what? Like, I used to. I used to talk up. I can't believe I'm blanking on his name right now. He's the biggest comic in the world. Nate Bargazzi. I talked about Nate Bargazzi so much, and now I think it's like. I think he's like. He's like. Now he's at the top, where it's like. It's a little bit less silly. You know what I mean? That he's just like, the establishment now.
Right.
That Rory, I think, is the new. The new Nate. Nate was like a secret.
Yeah.
When you saw him, you were just, like, blown away by it. That. I think that's. I think that's Roy now.
He's claiming to take a break now. Nate, he's talking about stepping back a little bit.
He's building Christian amusement parks.
You know, he's Willy Wonka.
Yeah.
There's a couple guys. Rory, Sean Patton, Sam Talent. Like, I feel like almost a screen doesn't show how their magic. You got to see them a lot.
Matt Peters
I like Sam Talent's book.
Anthony Jeselnik
That was.
That was a really great book.
Best book about stand up that I've ever. I really, really novel about stand up. And I'm getting an advanced copy of his new one's about to hit. Man, I can't wait.
Matt Peters
Yeah, no, he's awesome. Awesome guy, too. I got Turning Stone Casino in verona, New York, June 6th. Then I'm doing Europe. There's another fart, Mark.
Anthony Jeselnik
Sorry, keep that one.
Matt Peters
Then I'm doing Lisbon, Athens, Budapest, Zagreb, Vienna, Warsaw, Helsinki, Sweden, and Copenhagen. I'll add some other stuff when I have more material, but, yeah, special. Hopefully coming out around then. We'll see.
Anthony Jeselnik
So back in the clubs, we're adding shows. I'm doing those four o' clock Saturdays. Those will sneak up on you. Milwaukee, Philly, Irvine, Tempe, Detroit area. Mark Ridley's Hilarities. Emerald City. I'll never have you done that one. Seattle, Emerald City. I've never done it either. I'm nervous. Side splitters in Tampa, Cobbs in San Fran and Houston. And Nashville. Come on out, get some bodega cat. We were drinking it last night. I'm hurting. And. Yeah, check out Anthony on the road.
Matt Peters
All right.
Anthony Jeselnik
Enjoy my book club. Book club, that's the important thing. Justin McBook Club. Put your email address in or just go to YouTube and check it out. But it's. It's doing well.
Matt Peters
Peters and I just picked up Stoner. We'll let you know. I'm pumped to read it.
Anthony Jeselnik
Please.
Does Mulaney have a book club as well?
Kind of. Oh, I wish everyone would have a book club. People are like, are you guys competitive? It's like, not at all. But Melania's just like, here's three books I'm reading. And then that's it. Yeah, I'm like, I have like an I talk for an hour about the book. You can email me. I answer questions about the book. I, like, really want to get people to read and love reading as much as I do.
Hell, yeah.
Matt Peters
Nice.
Anthony Jeselnik
All right, thanks, folks. We'll see you all in hell. Praise Allah.
Sunday's the day for my next offender. A bit of fever wreck. You know, the beer juice.
Close.
I've had a little too much burping. And Norman's talking shit about the fucking poke. And I get down in the same way up on the roof like a Cops coming and naked Samuel is feeling dangerous. I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans this woman doesn't look like I remember her and I get down in the same way we might be true.
Podcast: We Might Be Drunk
Hosts: Sam Morril, Mark Normand
Guest: Anthony Jeselnik
Release Date: June 8, 2026
Episode Theme:
An unfiltered and thoughtful dive into the trials, rhythms, artistry, and inside stories of modern stand-up comedy. Anthony Jeselnik (along with hosts Sam and Mark) explores sobriety, writing habits, tour life, the evolution of specials, comedic philosophies, and legendary figures in the comedy world, all layered with their trademark dark wit and honesty.
Timestamps: 00:06–03:40
Timestamps: 04:26–08:54
Timestamps: 06:33–11:24
Timestamps: 11:41–14:33
Timestamps: 08:54–10:46
Timestamps: 15:00–18:15
Timestamps: 19:04–24:56, 51:57–55:42
Timestamps: 41:07–48:05, 55:23–56:36
Timestamps: 02:13–03:02, 46:13–51:12, 89:09–90:12
Timestamps: 57:07–63:07
This episode delivers a masterclass in stand-up philosophy, seasoned with personal stories and practical wisdom from one of comedy’s sharpest minds, supported by Sam and Mark’s insider perspectives. Topics range from craft integrity and the evolution of specials to burnout and the value of literary escape, all delivered with the group’s signature humor and candor. If you're a fan of stand-up, creative process, or just want to hear comics discuss the realities and joys of the life, this episode is both rich in laughs and genuine insight—bookmarked by memorable asides on everything from the late Joan Rivers to favorite noir novels.