Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Are You Garbage" featuring H. Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril

Episode Information

• Title: Are You Garbage
• Hosts: Mark Normand and Sam Morril
• Guests: H. Foley & Kevin Ryan
• Release Date: March 3, 2025
• Produced by: Gotham Production Studios, LLC

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Introduction

In this episode of We Might Be Drunk, NYC comedians Mark Normand and Sam Morril, along with guest comedians Dan Soder, Joe List, and Gary Veder, dive into a lively discussion filled with personal anecdotes, behind-the-scenes insights from the comedy world, humorous mishaps on tour, and interactions with fans. The conversation, sprinkled with humor and occasional tangents, offers listeners a candid look into the life of stand-up comedians on the road.

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Tour Bus Tales and Road Mishaps

Mark Normand kicks off the conversation by sharing a harrowing first-week tour experience. He recounts being stranded in a Sprinter van due to an exhausted driver, highlighting the perils of life on the road.

Mark Normand [01:25]: "We were watching the movie The Substance on my computer to stay awake, and the driver falls asleep at the wheel... It might have saved our lives by not being good."

Dan Soder and Joe List chime in with their own tour stories, discussing unreliable drivers and the challenges of maintaining safety during late-night travels.

Dan Soder [05:23]: "Random guys with bad driving habits make the tour unbearable. They always stick to the speed limit... but they're clearly driving too fast."

Interactions with Fans and On-Stage Challenges

The hosts transition to discussing interactions with fans, both positive and negative. Joe List shares an incident where a fan booed him after a tough set, leading to introspection about performance and audience reception.

Joe List [24:35]: "I apologized to the audience but they just stared at me like, 'What?' It was the worst feeling."

Mark Normand reflects on receiving critical reviews and the emotional toll it takes, emphasizing the human side of performing comedy.

Mark Normand [25:25]: "Everyone has an off day. There's always something you look back on and think, 'I should have done that differently.'"

Comedian's Life: Hotel Stays and Personal Safety

The conversation shifts to life outside of performances, particularly staying in hotels during tours. The comedians discuss the importance of choosing good accommodations and the anxiety that comes with being on the road.

Mark Normand [15:03]: "John Panette died on the road. It's a sad way for a comedian to go."

They also touch upon personal safety, sharing experiences of encountering aggressive individuals in public spaces.

Dan Soder [73:03]: "I was walking my dog at night and witnessed two kids harassing a woman. It was intense and felt like a scene from a movie."

Comedy Techniques and Writing

Mark Normand and Sam Morril delve into the nuances of writing and performing stand-up comedy. They discuss the evolution of comedy as an art form, the importance of material selection, and the challenges of keeping audiences engaged.

Mark Normand [28:18]: "Comedy is a fairly new job as an art form, so we've kind of perfected it just now quite quickly."

They also explore the concept of "check spots," where comedians perform during breaks in shows, analyzing its effectiveness in maintaining audience interest.

Mark Normand [21:17]: "For those listening, you don't know what a check spot is. They actually give the check during the show."

Behind-the-Scenes Stories

Throughout the episode, the comedians share amusing and bizarre behind-the-scenes stories from their tours. From dealing with unruly tour bus drivers to unexpected encounters with celebrities, these stories highlight the unpredictable nature of life as a touring comedian.

Mark Normand [38:54]: "We met Kevin Hart once. We chatted for a bit, but he was too busy to hang out. It was surreal."

Technology and Modern Challenges

The discussion also touches on the impact of technology on comedy, such as social media reviews and the pressure of maintaining an online presence. The comedians express mixed feelings about the transparency and critique that come with being active online.

Mark Normand [31:00]: "Yelp reviews aren't always helpful. Sometimes you can tell it's somebody having a personal issue rather than a genuine critique of the performance."

Conclusion and Closing Remarks

As the episode wraps up, the comedians reflect on the camaraderie among performers and the shared experiences that make touring bearable. They emphasize the importance of supporting each other and finding humor in the challenges they face on the road.

Joe List [86:35]: "Having friends on the road makes the experience so much better. It's like an 80s headliner experience, but more manageable."

Mark Normand succinctly captures the essence of their journey:

Mark Normand [57:27]: "You just have to accept you're going to be in the hole. That's a state of entertainment."

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Notable Quotes

• Mark Normand [01:25]: "The movie might have saved our life by not being good."
• Joe List [24:35]: "I apologized to the audience but they just stared at me like, 'What?'"
• Mark Normand [21:17]: "For those listening, you don't know what a check spot is."
• Mark Normand [38:54]: "We met Kevin Hart once. It was surreal."
• Mark Normand [31:00]: "Yelp reviews aren't always helpful."

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Key Insights

• Touring Challenges: Life on the road is fraught with unexpected difficulties, from unreliable transportation to safety concerns.
• Audience Interaction: Engaging with diverse audiences can lead to both positive reinforcement and harsh criticism, underscoring the volatility of live performances.
• Comedy Evolution: Stand-up comedy has rapidly evolved as an art form, with comedians honing their craft amidst changing societal and technological landscapes.
• Behind-the-Scenes Realities: The anecdotes shared reveal the often chaotic and humorous realities that comedians face behind the scenes.
• Support System: The camaraderie among comedians serves as a crucial support system, helping them navigate the ups and downs of their career.

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Conclusion

"Are You Garbage" offers a rich and entertaining glimpse into the lives of comedians Mark Normand, Sam Morril, and their colleagues. Through candid storytelling and humorous exchanges, listeners are treated to the highs and lows of touring, the intricacies of stand-up comedy, and the enduring bonds formed in the world of comedy. This episode serves as both an enjoyable listen for comedy enthusiasts and an insightful look into the dedication and resilience required to succeed in the challenging world of stand-up.

Transcript

[Sam Morril]

Hey, hey, folks. We're here. We're doing it. We're back in New York. It's 55 and sunny. It's glorious.

[Mark Normand]

Nice out, man. It's. Yeah. I did 16 dates, man. That tour bus. I didn't tell you the craziest thing that happened to me. Did I even tell you this shit?

[Sam Morril]

I don't think so about.

[Mark Normand]

I was in a Sprinter the first week. We didn't do a tour bus. So, you know, I like to leave after the show at night.

[Sam Morril]

Sure.

[Mark Normand]

Because, you know, you wake up, you get a day in the city, even though sometimes you get in, like, 2 or 3am I'd rather just sleep in and do shit in the city I'm in as opposed to. There we go.

[Sam Morril]

I agree.

[Mark Normand]

And he angled it in my direction, too. There's no one there. You should have angled it there.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, you're right. I was on the wrong leg. There we go.

[Mark Normand]

So we take a Sprinter, and there's two cars. One with me and Gary, another car with. With Brian and James. Brian's the tour manager. James films the shows, and we leave early because we're like, you guys go ahead. We got to clean up here. Like, all right. We're going from Charlotte. It's the first fucking night, by the way. Charlotte. To, I believe, Richmond. I don't. It doesn't matter. It's not important to the story. I don't. I paused there. But the guy starts. Oh, here we go.

[Sam Morril]

Hey, what's up, boy?

[Mark Normand]

I'm mid story. Sit down, sit down.

[Sam Morril]

Let's shake it.

[Mark Normand]

I'm mid story. I got a road story. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Hey, look at this. Get in here.

[Mark Normand]

I'm in the middle of this story. It's the first week of my tour. We're in a Sprinter. We aren't on the tour bus yet. We're in a Sprinter. It's me and Gary Veder, the driver. We're watching the movie the Substance on our. On my computer. And to try to just stay awake, you know, the driver fucking falls asleep at the wheel and he drives off the road. We're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And he goes.

[Joe List]

He.

[Mark Normand]

He goes up. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. I'm like, are you good? Do we need to get you coffee? I'm good, I'm good.

[Joe List]

I heard the movie was good to come.

[Mark Normand]

It's not. It's not in the movie. Might have saved our life by not being good. Because. Because he falls asleep again, like, an hour later.

[Dan Soder]

What?

[Mark Normand]

And this time, he drives straight off the fucking road. We're in the wrong lane, and we start feeling the, you know, the side of the road. Yeah, yeah, we're feeling it. And. And Gary and I hate this movie. The substance so much that it's keeping us awake. If we weren't watching this movie, we're dead.

[Dan Soder]

Whoa, Gary.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, we're watching. We're like, what the fuck? We. We got to know what happens, even though we can't stand this. And Gary just grabs the driver and starts shaking him. Like, wake up, Wake up. The guy's a good. Pulls over.

[Dan Soder]

What time of day?

[Sam Morril]

Night.

[Dan Soder]

I'm sorry.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, it's like 3:00am at this point. And we left. We left 20 minutes ahead of call. 20 minutes ahead. No, 20 minutes ahead of Brian and James, who in the other car. And they're like 20 minutes ahead of us because this guy's going. And he even said on the. When he pulled over, he's like, I'm sorry I went so slow. We're like, no, the fact that you went slow.

[Dan Soder]

Sorry, I missed my turn signal back there.

[Mark Normand]

I don't think you're getting rid of.

[Joe List]

Them the next day.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, we got rid of them that night. They pulled over, and we just squashed all our stuff in. In. That's another car. And we're like, you know, holy, man.

[Sam Morril]

What a hilarious review for the night.

[Mark Normand]

One of the Road.

[Sam Morril]

I know.

[Mark Normand]

That movie saved my life.

[Sam Morril]

Mixed reviews.

[Joe List]

Just so you know. I would have gave it a GoFundMe. Something real nice.

[Mark Normand]

I don't know.

[Joe List]

Not anonymous. I got to brag about it.

[Mark Normand]

Throw that name in there.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. And what a horrible headline that would have been. Sam Morill and Little Guy and Larry.

[Mark Normand]

Samuel dies in Charlotte twice.

[Joe List]

I think about that all the time. We were on a. We were on a flight with Susan Lucci.

[Sam Morril]

Whoa. Long ago, mama.

[Joe List]

Let me tell you something. 78 years old.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Joe List]

I would have made a right there in the aisle.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe List]

Unbelievable.

[Sam Morril]

Pull her up. I haven't seen Luchi in a. In a minute.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, she's for sure if that.

[Joe List]

But if that would have crashed on. They wouldn't have said nothing about us.

[Dan Soder]

She looks good.

[Sam Morril]

Looking real good. She.

[Joe List]

Sweetheart, too.

[Sam Morril]

Really?

[Mark Normand]

You talked to her?

[Joe List]

I said, you can go ahead. And she's like, oh, thank you so much.

[Sam Morril]

I helped her account.

[Joe List]

He helped her with her bag. He's trying to show off.

[Dan Soder]

Excuse me. Young, hot, strapping guys. And I'm listening. Yeah. Helped her with her bag.

[Joe List]

He would have been nothing.

[Dan Soder]

Proper rich woman.

[Sam Morril]

Sure. Look at that.

[Joe List]

Got cash.

[Sam Morril]

What is she, a pop Star. I mean, soap star.

[Joe List]

All My Children.

[Sam Morril]

That's the one.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Joe List]

Seventies.

[Mark Normand]

I don't know what I. Susan Lucci.

[Dan Soder]

I know the Children.

[Sam Morril]

That's Elon's new show.

[Mark Normand]

Two I talked to.

[Joe List]

But. But that's crazy, man.

[Sam Morril]

That's crazy. You could have been dead.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. I thought you were talking about Elon again.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, no, it was.

[Mark Normand]

It was. It was not a good start. But I was like, you know what? Good. Maybe it's a good omen. We get this out of the way and we. You know, because you.

[Joe List]

I mean, you guys experienced this more. But the first night on the bus or something like that, when you don't really know the driver.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, no, no. This was a sprinter van at this point. The first five days we did a sprinter van.

[Joe List]

But I'm just saying, when you don't know the driver and you hear those blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you're like, oh, we're going into a course.

[Dan Soder]

You picture yourself going through, like, a forest. Like, I'm done.

[Mark Normand]

We were on the bus one night and we. It was. It was just some of these fucking city to city. You just get bad roads and they're like, it's bad road. But we. We hit a pothole and we all. I woke up like, what the fuck? But I was like, yeah, whatever. I just went back to sleep.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

But I get a note from the driver the next day, and he goes, our man Jeff, he's the fucking best. He said, sorry about that pothole. And I was like, all right. I knew something happened.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Did you report this to the company or anything like that?

[Mark Normand]

I think he did. I think Brian did.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Mark Normand]

I was just happy to be out of there. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You're just getting.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Random guys. And they always. We always, like, correct. We've been like, hey, man, can you slow down? And they're like, no, I'm doing the speed limit. It's like, you're doing 95 miles an hour right here.

[Joe List]

Nobody had relax or nothing like that. You could have straightened the guy out.

[Sam Morril]

Good point.

[Mark Normand]

This guy used to drive Cosby, and I think he just. No, he was just. He was. He clearly was doing too many shifts in a row or something. I don't know.

[Dan Soder]

Well, the good thing about the tour bus drivers is that's, like, very. There's a lot of oversight. They have to turn in their journals and shit. Sprinter companies, like limo companies, they're just running and gunning. That guy's probably working at Amazon during the day. And then Being like, I'll drive your van at night.

[Mark Normand]

That's a good point. I mentioned it to our bus driver, Jeff and he's just like the best guy. And he was like a four hour drive.

[Joe List]

He fell asleep.

[Mark Normand]

That's nothing. I was like, he tells you stories where he's like, you can't shit in the, in the toilet on the bus. You've heard this shit, right? Of course you can't poop in the bus toilet. Cuz you know it doesn't go anywhere. You can't hot box it. I go, give me some names. Who's hot box the car with you? And he's like, he'll say like don't get me started on Air Supply. You're like, air Supply, they shoot your bus.

[Joe List]

I'm all out of toilet paper.

[Mark Normand]

He mentioned Sagura. Sagura. Hot boxed it.

[Sam Morril]

Oh really?

[Mark Normand]

James, our, our videographer hot boxed it. We cuz I made the mistake of ordering Nashville hot chicken in Nashville.

[Joe List]

Oh.

[Mark Normand]

And. And I ordered extra. The venue was like, get extra, get extra. So you know, James had three hot chickens.

[Joe List]

Oh.

[Mark Normand]

And he just in the middle of the night fucking hot box it. And I was like, you shouldn't have had three.

[Sam Morril]

That's not a hot. That's a miscarriage.

[Joe List]

One ping is one thing, but when you got a dump and you know that you're at least like 20 minutes, like years, nothing in sight. And that's a cold sweat that you never forget.

[Sam Morril]

But back to these. These drivers are always a little off. There's always a good way. A diddle or a drug history or a prison time. There's always something. Burt's guy got kicked off for being anti Semitic.

[Joe List]

Really?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. He got in a fight with kicked.

[Mark Normand]

Off that tour too.

[Sam Morril]

Well, he put a word in.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. But he was nuts. He tried to fight a guy. He was crazy.

[Mark Normand]

What did he say that was anti Semitic?

[Sam Morril]

I think it came. I don't want to. Maybe I should bleep the name. But he said something and was like, I'm Jewish. And he goes, oh, I didn't know you were Jewish. You fucking beep beep bedoop boop boop. And he bought a Kanye shirt.

[Dan Soder]

And we're back. That's all. I mean we kind of. Because we do a long runs. We do like a week long run like one nighters back to back to back. And we're living in these sprinter vans with guys you don't know.

[Sam Morril]

Yep.

[Joe List]

Sometimes he's driving like I'll draw, I'll.

[Dan Soder]

Drive if it's over. I will. We'll just get. Sometimes we'll just get a minivan and if it's over, if it's under four, I'll do it.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that's.

[Dan Soder]

I like driving. It's fun. We'll do a podcast and then we all fall.

[Joe List]

The.

[Dan Soder]

These guys suck.

[Joe List]

You put me in a car.

[Dan Soder]

He's out.

[Mark Normand]

I know, but you got to keep the driver company.

[Dan Soder]

That should be shot. He's typically shotgun man, but that should be the. That's the. You know what?

[Mark Normand]

Shotgun guy's got to. Got to stay up for morale.

[Dan Soder]

I think he's the first one out.

[Sam Morril]

He'll be up.

[Dan Soder]

But. So we're to bypass all of this for this tour that's starting as we're, like, today we're buying a big conversion van and we're going to use that. Like, we have a. One of our buddies is going to drive it and we're going to use that as, like, a tour bus. Like, that's going to be us in Detroit.

[Sam Morril]

What's a conversion van?

[Joe List]

Like, with the captain shirt?

[Dan Soder]

It's a 2024.

[Sam Morril]

Okay. Okay. Now we're talking.

[Joe List]

No way. K14.

[Dan Soder]

No, not the mitzvah tank. Excuse me, sir, are you Jewish?

[Sam Morril]

Bird's guy will not drive that.

[Joe List]

I'm always so tempted to say yes just to see what goes on in there.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, no one's ever asked you if you were Jewish.

[Joe List]

Yeah, they do. Around Hanukkah. The kids come up to you in the park, they say you're Jewish.

[Sam Morril]

It's a lot ruga.

[Mark Normand]

I always tell.

[Joe List]

You got a kishkin there. I am. I'll tell.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Holy. That's wild, man.

[Sam Morril]

But think about these truck drivers. They're in the same world. They're all these driver guy. The truck drivers just got busted for killing hookers. You see that?

[Dan Soder]

No.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that was our guy.

[Mark Normand]

He was. I would love that.

[Joe List]

Guy's everywhere.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Look at that.

[Dan Soder]

These are the last things I want to watch before we go on the road next week.

[Sam Morril]

This is why I fly. I like. I don't like the book.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Nothing bad's happened on a plane.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, those things are falling out.

[Joe List]

What is going on with this?

[Sam Morril]

As another one popped. Popped down. Apparently today it's the new school shootings. I'm calling it now. They're once a week. And I stopped caring.

[Mark Normand]

You should care. You're not going back to school. You're flying.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah, good point.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, it freaks. The one that landed upside down in Toronto.

[Dan Soder]

I saw something. It was A girl who had like. I don't know. This could have just been like, you know, propaganda on X. I don't know. But they were. Which is most of it now. I've. They said she had like. Why? It was like a.

[Sam Morril]

They had.

[Dan Soder]

She had very low hours.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Like over the. The co pilot who was like an 80 year, you know, seasoned vet.

[Sam Morril]

Not one of these guys, like a. Women shouldn't fly planes. But it is weird to me that they.

[Dan Soder]

I am.

[Sam Morril]

What the fuck? Well, they hit the women flying the plane. That's what's even weirder. That they hid.

[Joe List]

I don't think they want the backlash.

[Mark Normand]

I guess at the end of Crying Game or something.

[Sam Morril]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

It's a little trick.

[Sam Morril]

That's what I call fucking my wife. Yeah. Yeah. The pilot shit is scary. Something's going on in the skies.

[Joe List]

Something is going on.

[Mark Normand]

I knew like last run I was like, this is too good. Something's gonna happen. Like, it's too easy to. You know. And now, you know, you think how much we fly. Like you. You gave like, you've diamond medallion status on Delta. You're like a daredevil now, dude.

[Sam Morril]

It's crazy.

[Joe List]

It's all low rent too. It's not like the engine blew up. It's like you did that. A tire hubcaps came off or something like that. What the hell is this?

[Sam Morril]

The window crank is broken.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

But now maybe when you get a delay, you're not going to be as angry because you're like, maybe they need to do something.

[Sam Morril]

True, true.

[Joe List]

Yeah. But sometimes they just send you right up.

[Sam Morril]

We need Sully. We didn't know what we had. Yes. Sully was the man.

[Joe List]

That would never happen again, though.

[Mark Normand]

He got lucky.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Lucky as that was like a half court shot at a basketball game.

[Joe List]

Got a big check.

[Dan Soder]

Ever hear him, like the. He tells every. He like takes control. He's like, everybody, shut the up.

[Mark Normand]

Sit down.

[Dan Soder]

I'm landing this bird in the river. And everyone's like, what the he?

[Sam Morril]

Literally like, we need that guy with stuff.

[Mark Normand]

That was because of birds, right?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, for fuck's sake. Birds worried about getting attacked by another country. And we're like birds to take you right out.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah. Now there's. You see, there's a spider bit of guy, but yeah, it was flying.

[Joe List]

Allergic to spiders. Got bit by a stowaway tarantula.

[Sam Morril]

Yikes. Di is out of control.

[Dan Soder]

That sounds like spirit spiders.

[Joe List]

It was from Australia or something.

[Mark Normand]

How did that happen?

[Joe List]

I don't know. Got my cockpit and bit Him.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

No superpowers either. I got screwed.

[Sam Morril]

Iberia.

[Joe List]

Now. Who the is flying that?

[Sam Morril]

Yikes.

[Dan Soder]

I don't like purposely.

[Joe List]

We. We went to me. Me and the. And the bird went to Greece last year.

[Sam Morril]

Hell yeah.

[Joe List]

And we flew into Athens. Now you could either take an eight hour ferry from Athens to Santorini or you can take one of their local small mom and pop airlines.

[Sam Morril]

What'd you do?

[Joe List]

Took the fair.

[Mark Normand]

Me too. I did the exact same trip.

[Sam Morril]

Really?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. And. And eight hour. Dude.

[Joe List]

Salad? No.

[Mark Normand]

Fucking no.

[Joe List]

No.

[Mark Normand]

I felt the same way. That, that ferry though is rough. That was like rough. You throw all your shit and no one's watching your shit. You're like, someone could just steal your shit.

[Joe List]

Yeah, we got a room. We got a room. And they weren't any better. Yeah, that was. That was rough. I could see that thing tipping over. But I wasn't flying one of those planes in the Santorini.

[Sam Morril]

Really?

[Joe List]

Fuck that shit.

[Sam Morril]

Little puddle jumper.

[Joe List]

No. What?

[Mark Normand]

Ryan Hamilton's got the great power to.

[Joe List]

Get me off the ground.

[Mark Normand]

You know the Ryan Hamilton bit about how he's like how you take the Staten island ferry and you realize they just recreated the immigrant experience. Just get me.

[Joe List]

Change your name when you get back to Manhattan. What?

[Sam Morril]

I live here. He's a guy got hit by a bus.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I never heard that whole story.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, you should hear his material on it. It's amazing.

[Joe List]

It was a shuttle too, wasn't it? Wasn't it like an airport shuttle?

[Sam Morril]

It was.

[Mark Normand]

That sucks to land. And then the shit happens. You got the scary thing out of the way.

[Joe List]

That's like. That's what they say. You have a better chance of getting in an accident coming home from the airport.

[Sam Morril]

Yes. It's like guns. They say you're better. You're more likely to get killed in a pool than a gun.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Sam Morril]

Pull it up.

[Mark Normand]

Are you gonna say you're more likely to use it on your partner than you are an intruder?

[Sam Morril]

Well, that too. Yeah, that too.

[Mark Normand]

We should meet my partner then. You understand.

[Joe List]

Horrible shot.

[Sam Morril]

I'm pretty sure pools are the. The number one for family members.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Did your parents like force that into you when you were a kid? Don't ever dive into a pool, no matter what. My mom scared the shit out of us.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, 100 times higher than a firearm. But yet no one has any pool protests. Interesting.

[Joe List]

They put the gates up.

[Sam Morril]

That's true. That's the safety.

[Mark Normand]

It's also harder to get a pool than a gun.

[Sam Morril]

That's true.

[Joe List]

Very true.

[Mark Normand]

A pool is expensive. It takes a. It takes time to build.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You could just get a gun.

[Sam Morril]

Hartman could have used a gun, shot that lady.

[Joe List]

Yeah, yeah. He got shot, right?

[Sam Morril]

No, no pool.

[Joe List]

No, no. He got blasted by his wife. No disrespect.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, wait, I thought he died in a pool.

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Sam Morril]

Who died in a pool?

[Mark Normand]

Matthew Perry.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yes.

[Mark Normand]

No one told him life was going to be this way. Did you make the same joke?

[Sam Morril]

Hold up.

[Joe List]

Some say it wasn't the hot dog was the ketamine, but I see where you're going. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. It's a bad combo, though.

[Joe List]

He was drinking coffee. I think he'd be all right.

[Mark Normand]

Well, did Whitney Houston die in the tub?

[Sam Morril]

Tub? Yeah, tub on crack. No. Get out of here.

[Mark Normand]

We gotta ban these tubs.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Strictly shower guy.

[Joe List]

Do you guys think about that on the road? Like, when you're in a hotel? Like, oh, if I go in here, they'll be coming to get me.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. John Panette died on the road. And I think about, like, that is a sad way for a comedian to go.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, you don't. Better be a good hotel if I dine in, like, a La Quinta or a condo. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

A comedy still doing condos.

[Sam Morril]

Well, sometimes you save a buck.

[Mark Normand]

He's fucking liar, dude. No, but you hear when comics die on the road, and it's.

[Joe List]

I think about it all the time.

[Dan Soder]

There's been times. I've said this before. There's been times where, like, because he's typically up so early, me. Me and him, we'll hit the airport.

[Joe List]

I don't miss the breakfast.

[Dan Soder]

We'll hit the breakfast, just me and him, like, you up. And then there'll be times where nobody.

[Mark Normand]

You're.

[Sam Morril]

You up? Is the hotel breakfast.

[Joe List]

Yeah, you up? Usually one of us will be down there scouting it out.

[Dan Soder]

I already got eyes on it. It sucks.

[Sam Morril]

Or they got a waffle maker.

[Joe List]

Oh, I'm in business.

[Dan Soder]

And there'll be times where, like, no one's heard from him. And, like, you know, lobby calls, like, 10am and no one's. And I'm like, there's times where, like, we're 10. I'm like, man, I could have to go to the front desk and be, oh, come on, ship at his fat ass.

[Sam Morril]

Taft got stuck in the tub.

[Joe List]

Tap got stuck in the tub.

[Mark Normand]

Also survived the gun.

[Joe List]

What do you got?

[Sam Morril]

Breaking news.

[Dan Soder]

Plane crash.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, okay.

[Joe List]

Huh?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, that's.

[Joe List]

He's swimming.

[Dan Soder]

Is that breaking news? This just in, 1979.

[Mark Normand]

Does anyone else have an issue with angel of Death? Yeah, I don't like the word Angel.

[Joe List]

Demon of.

[Mark Normand]

Demon of death.

[Sam Morril]

Yes, yes.

[Joe List]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gary Veder]

He died in Brazil.

[Joe List]

Angel of death makes it sound like a good pool player or something like that. Good with the stick.

[Sam Morril]

Versus the black widow.

[Joe List]

How did he. How did he end up in a pool after he got caught?

[Mark Normand]

I don't know if Brazil, I think, got away.

[Joe List]

No shit.

[Sam Morril]

Fled.

[Joe List]

He's down in Argentina, probably.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe List]

Sipping the Malbecs. No way. Hitler.

[Mark Normand]

That's a good fucking value right there.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Love a good Malbec.

[Joe List]

True.

[Mark Normand]

Not a huge wine guy, but every once in a while, like, whiskey is my go to. On the road, but, like, every once in a while, you have like a. A bottle of wine or something.

[Joe List]

Can you drink whiskey with dinner? Like, yeah, why not? Really?

[Mark Normand]

I love it. Yeah.

[Joe List]

That's a man.

[Sam Morril]

A couple of rocks. What are you doing? You off the sauce?

[Joe List]

No, we're. We're drinking.

[Sam Morril]

Okay.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Just at Austin for a week, and it's like.

[Joe List]

You're drinking hot.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You were there for a whole week?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, pretty long.

[Sam Morril]

That's.

[Mark Normand]

That's. That's a long week.

[Dan Soder]

It's a long.

[Joe List]

Almost got thrown out of three forks down there. That steakhouse. Nice steakhouse, barracks and ourselves.

[Dan Soder]

We went day drinking at noon.

[Mark Normand]

The waiter's like, sir, you've had enough.

[Joe List]

I'm the angel of death.

[Sam Morril]

You're gonna die in an Uber pool on the way home.

[Mark Normand]

Why. Why'd you get thrown out of.

[Joe List]

We did. We were just embarrassing it. We were not dressed properly. We were drunk as we were yelling at each other for what we ordered.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

And it was just a scene.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, but no, it was. It was a.

[Joe List]

It was maybe didn't think so.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, that's a good time. You're cutting up.

[Dan Soder]

We were cutting up the.

[Sam Morril]

Just. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

The other patrons did not appreciate our vibes at the time.

[Sam Morril]

Was it that, or. When he got up, the tablecloth was tucked in and he pulled all the silver.

[Joe List]

It's funny. We.

[Dan Soder]

We. You were doing the dad thing where he's like. Somebody would be like, oh, what's that? Can you pass me the butter?

[Sam Morril]

He's like, shut up.

[Dan Soder]

You're embarrassing us. I'm like, dude, what the fuck? I was way over the fucking bomb.

[Sam Morril]

That's you, too.

[Joe List]

How much for the children?

[Mark Normand]

Whenever we're at dinner, Gary just goes, it's this guy's birthday. To our tornado prime.

[Dan Soder]

I hate that.

[Mark Normand]

And the first time, we're like, now every time he does it, we're like, all right, We. We get the joke?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You're embarrassing us.

[Sam Morril]

You might get a free dessert.

[Joe List]

Well, we were at a. We were at a. Like, a regular square four top or whatever, and we ordered so many appetizers that they flipped the leafs out underneath us.

[Sam Morril]

Whoa.

[Joe List]

At the table.

[Dan Soder]

So it turned to a circle table.

[Joe List]

Yeah. And I was in the aisle.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, leaf, Garrett.

[Joe List]

It was bad.

[Sam Morril]

I love the leaf.

[Joe List]

But we're still drinking. We're off the heaters, though.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Quit smoking.

[Joe List]

Positive news.

[Mark Normand]

Cigarettes are.

[Dan Soder]

That's the coolest thing in the world.

[Mark Normand]

They are cool.

[Sam Morril]

It's the hardest thing to quit, they say, is the cigarettes.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Cocaine's pretty tough, to be honest with you.

[Sam Morril]

All right. Cocaine's hard to get, though. Cigarette you can pop into the bodega.

[Joe List]

I would argue against that, too. You need a guy, give me a call. What are you doing?

[Mark Normand]

That's true, but I feel like cocaine is also the fear of, like, that not being clean also.

[Joe List]

Sure.

[Sam Morril]

We don't have to test a cigarette.

[Joe List]

Sure.

[Sam Morril]

Or fentanyl.

[Joe List]

I always had the idea, though. Like, if I. Back in the day, if I did it, I would wait 10 seconds. I'd be like, well, if something was in it, you'd already be dead.

[Mark Normand]

So you have. You have the guinea pig of the group.

[Joe List]

Yeah, but I'm just saying, like, you know, after the first 10 seconds, you're like, I'd be dead already.

[Sam Morril]

I don't know.

[Dan Soder]

That's really the scientific method there that you're at, that you're applying to the fucking. To the bumskies.

[Sam Morril]

That doesn't work with STDs, either.

[Dan Soder]

I'm clean. Go.

[Mark Normand]

His dick still looks all right.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I have buddies that still. I'm like, guys, you gotta. You know, there are a couple weekend warriors, you know, not comics. It'll, you know. That'll do. That'll do. Blow from time to time.

[Sam Morril]

Sure.

[Dan Soder]

And I'm like, dude, you tested it. And he's like, nah. You know. And I'm like, he's like, I've been buying it from the same guy for, like, 15 years. Like. But he's not getting it from the same place.

[Sam Morril]

Right.

[Dan Soder]

That is. You know, it's such flawed logic. But people are out there just rolling the dice.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, we were in a blue room in, you know, the Ozarks in Missouri. And the guy. Springfield, Missouri, whatever, The guys comes back, is filming us, and he's like, hey, man, you guys want some blow? And I'm like, did you test it? Not that we're gonna do it. Like, did he test it? He goes, no, the other guy did the guest spot, tested it.

[Dan Soder]

He's got a pretty good set.

[Mark Normand]

He's testing the crowd and the fucking blow.

[Joe List]

I guess I like how you said you weren't gonna do it, but did you test it? I'm just a little window shopping.

[Sam Morril]

It's not a check spot for the checks. You have to check the coke, and if you die, we're good.

[Mark Normand]

God. Remember, check spots do it. Yeah, I mean, those are like. They're kind of over, right?

[Sam Morril]

No, they got them in New York Comedy Club. I still see them.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Joe List]

They're longer, though. They kind of. They kind of like do them at the end and, like, a few people kind of eat them a little bit.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I think they do like four or five minute sets after when the checks get dropped.

[Joe List]

I was always petrified. I never really. I never really did them. Tommy Cassidy, Yeah, he. When we. He first got up here, he was a fucking machine with them. Well, he did come at Stand Up New York and Murder.

[Mark Normand]

It helps you. It helps you get an audience. Because I was always low energy on stage. So if I could get them during a check set, I was like, that's when I was doing them on the road, though. You'd do the same thing. I think you, like, go into a story because you're like, all right, they're gonna.

[Dan Soder]

You're losing them. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

They have to listen to the story. But then sometimes they'd just be like, fuck this story.

[Joe List]

Yeah. Get like two or three people and everybody close out the checks. You'd kind of gather the audience back a little bit.

[Mark Normand]

For those listening, you don't know what a check spot is. They. They actually give the check during the show.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Sometimes they do it like. They're like, oh, we drop them 10 minutes late, you know, before the end of the show. And it's like they'll drop them at the end of the host. What the fuck are you doing?

[Sam Morril]

It's so quick. I've been. You know when you sell tickets, finally you can start saying no checks. And they hate you for it. They. Because they're so.

[Dan Soder]

Weird thing.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Mary, Want to get out?

[Joe List]

I got fucking blow. They got to get to.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I guess so. But I can feel attention with the servers.

[Mark Normand]

But everyone's making more money now in the clubs when you're there, so it's not like the craziest request. It's just like it's another 10, 15 minutes, really.

[Sam Morril]

But, yeah, the idea of dropping checks on the headliner, the guy that came to see is so backwards. What are we doing? You're here to see that guy and you're going to hurt his performance.

[Joe List]

That would always fascinate me, like watching like, you know, back in the day, watching like, oh, they're killing, they're killing. And then they get to. And they'd be like, oh, the checks. And then they would kind of like they drop down like a. Like a speed in their set and then they'd fucking come right back and be killing them. Like, holy.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that's awesome.

[Joe List]

Just take a credit card. What are we doing?

[Mark Normand]

I know young people and you know, they're splitting it. Like, if it's like an older. It's like an older couple, you know, it's one card. Yeah, but if it's young, it's four groups, like, of young people. You're like, ah, they're fucking.

[Joe List]

And are that many people running out like that?

[Sam Morril]

Exactly.

[Dan Soder]

Might happen once a show and even once. His show is not going to fucking sink the club.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, we'll pay for it.

[Joe List]

Yeah, pay for it.

[Dan Soder]

I forget to not.

[Sam Morril]

I'm not doing that.

[Mark Normand]

Let's not get carried away here.

[Joe List]

Was that, by the way, was that an old clip of that lady yelling at you that you posted recently on Twitter? No, she was yelling at you at that New York comedy club.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah, that's old, but you a.

[Joe List]

Piece of shit or something like that.

[Sam Morril]

I kept putting it on Instagram and it kept getting taken off for like, you know, bad words.

[Joe List]

You handle that very well.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, what did she say to you?

[Sam Morril]

It's on Twitter. It wouldn't. They got taken off insta. But she just kept saying I made a joke about only fans. And she was like, you're supporting sex traffic. I was like, this is such a leap, you crazy twat.

[Joe List]

I thought we were sex positive.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, see, she booze me doing pretty well 7:47.

[Mark Normand]

Wait, what did I do indeed?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Zany's hoodie on.

[Sam Morril]

I'll wear anything for free. Wow. Now they're booing her.

[Joe List]

That's a great feeling.

[Sam Morril]

I know. Prostitution. Yes. I've given them money for years. The wheels are spinning.

[Joe List]

You're just like, kid's good.

[Sam Morril]

Say something funny. So crazy. You think you're the good guy in the movie.

[Dan Soder]

Great line.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, thanks. All right, feel bad, but the language was a bit much. Now they're throwing her out. What did I do? But I really want to reason with her. What do you mean? I'm promoting it. I'm telling a joke, you psycho. Jesus Christ. I'm seeing red. You can't tell, but I'm so angry. It was a cute little Asian lady with a mask on.

[Mark Normand]

The little dance.

[Sam Morril]

I'm sure that was transphobic in some way. We're really doing the numbers here.

[Joe List]

I had that not long ago and did not put any comedy into it at all. I kind of, like, was just like, what the fuck? Yeah, it was. It was a rough show. There was a table of four that was there that was causing a lot of trouble. And the host came out, was like, hey, there's this table up front. Really rough. They got them out. And then I got up there and like, the crowd wanted to laugh. Like, I think Eagle Wit went on before me. He got them back ready to go, all that stuff.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

And then these two, like, college girls to the right were just whispering the whole time. And I was just like, what the fuck? I'm like, we just got this nightmare out of here.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

And you're doing this. I'm like, who the fuck raised you?

[Sam Morril]

Yes.

[Joe List]

And before that, I was doing, like, a fat guy mayonnaise joke. And they were like, what the fuck is this guy?

[Dan Soder]

You're stepping all over my cerebral bits.

[Joe List]

It was a pin drop.

[Mark Normand]

Salacus, I just emailed you an email my agent sent to me from a show, from a woman hating me from over the weekend. And it's the worst one. It's a show you thought when. You can blur the emails, obviously when this comes out, right?

[Joe List]

Peters, did they throw those girls out now? I kind of smoothed it over.

[Sam Morril]

Okay, nice.

[Joe List]

Actually, some. Some lady in the audience moved it over and brought everybody together. And then I apologized to them. And I'm like, I just want you to understand. Whatever. Having a rough day. I can add it and fucking walk in this bullshit. But yeah, they just stared at me like, what?

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Joe List]

Which is the worst? When then all of a sudden, you're the asshole.

[Sam Morril]

Exactly, exactly.

[Joe List]

You know, but I didn't have the crowd on my side.

[Mark Normand]

Everyone has an off day. Like, there's always. There's always something you look back on. You're like, I should have done that a little differently.

[Joe List]

Sure. But also to the raw emotion of it, you fucking human being.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I got feelings too.

[Mark Normand]

It's. I mean, that's insanely.

[Dan Soder]

I can read it. I came to the show last night and I just have to say some of his jokes were disgusting and inappropriate. I'm from New Orleans and I love good comedy, but I feel like it was a waste of my time. I should have just went to the Parade. It sounds like it was written in the 1950s.

[Mark Normand]

It also sucks. It also sucks when you're like, shit, I thought that was a really good show.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Well.

[Sam Morril]

What? You still got it, baby.

[Joe List]

Why do they send. Why did they send that to you?

[Mark Normand]

They sent it to my agent, and he forwarded to me, thinking I would get a kick, and I did.

[Joe List]

What is the club Send that. I just let that go.

[Mark Normand]

I know. It was the film where he sent it to my agent. My agent's email is in my Instagram.

[Sam Morril]

Okay, but from New Orleans. Tits and dicks all over the street and homeless people. Your jokes are too much.

[Mark Normand]

My shit was more offensive than a New Orleans parade?

[Sam Morril]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

Do you know how fucked up those are?

[Sam Morril]

Man, I hope she gets run over over by that terrorist on Bourbon.

[Dan Soder]

Jesus.

[Sam Morril]

Sorry, I'm from there. I like jokes, too.

[Mark Normand]

No, I know. New Orleans also was, like, one night less.

[Joe List]

I was like.

[Mark Normand]

I felt, like, good about. It's funny when you feel good about it, because that's when you get.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I did one in Tampa once, and the woman. It was when I was working out this bit I had about an alligator eating a baby.

[Sam Morril]

Oh.

[Mark Normand]

And I was.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And it's funny because I think I did it all week in Albany and it got nothing. And then I was like, I think I'm gonna drop this bit. And then I brought it to Tampa, and it was like, murdering. Oh, shit. This is in the act.

[Sam Morril]

It's local.

[Mark Normand]

This woman left the show in Tampa and she just, like. She took a picture of herself crying from the parking lot and posted it to their Facebook. This is what the comedian did to me. I was like, it was a joke.

[Joe List]

My husband's an alligator. That's nuts.

[Mark Normand]

He's in prison.

[Dan Soder]

I have one this week. This guy messaged me. I didn't even tell you. It's from, like, last tour or something. He's like, hey, I remember when you bombed in Rhode Island.

[Sam Morril]

And this is like, dude, we haven't.

[Dan Soder]

Been in Rhode island since, like, 2022.

[Sam Morril]

And I'm like, ah, is the beginning of this.

[Dan Soder]

You know?

[Sam Morril]

I'm like.

[Dan Soder]

I'm, like, fighting with him in my head. And I'm like. He's like, you were reading out of your notebook.

[Joe List]

Be more specific.

[Sam Morril]

Thanks for bringing it back up.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. I'm like, dude, you're two years later. You're. You can't let me. You can't let me down a C set. You know what I mean?

[Sam Morril]

What the. The Internet does that. You never tweet something and you're like, oh, I misspelled something. So you edit it and then one guy has to go, I saw the edit. You come guzzler. And you're like, all right, I spelled it wrong. Why are you mad at me?

[Mark Normand]

It's also so true about the beginning of the tour where your just progressively will get better and better. Cuz I was promoting dates and. And I was like, well, people always complain. Why didn't you come here yet? I'm like, well, the hour will be better when I'm. When I'm in San Francisco, whatever. And he was like, so it's going to be a worse show here. I was like, technically, yeah, there will be a worst show.

[Joe List]

It go to the parade in any facet of anything. Okay. I don't know what it would take for me to send like a customer service email. I don't know what they would have to do to me in any facet of life for me to send this strongly worded email.

[Sam Morril]

Hear, hear.

[Joe List]

I just don't know what it would.

[Mark Normand]

Thank God for those people because they make the ratings accurate. Because if those people don't exist and you go to TripAdvisor. That's true. I'm grateful for those people. But yeah. I was in a hotel the other day. First hotel I'd been in on the road and it'd been like 12 or something days on a tour bus. And we check in the hotel, I'm like, all right, I'll take my first non venue shower in a while. It'll be nice. And of course the hotel's under construction, the drilling's insane. And I was like, ugh, I should write something. And I'm like, but of course I won't.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, crazy.

[Mark Normand]

It's crazy to actually write something.

[Joe List]

But restaurants, I will give you that. I walk in and get a bad crab rangoon. I'm gonna be furious.

[Mark Normand]

You can crab rangoon for breakfast.

[Dan Soder]

Stay at nice hotels.

[Joe List]

I'm not on track. This guy bombed in Rhode island.

[Dan Soder]

Dude. It's been living in my head. It's like shook me all week. I'm like, this guy's sitting at home for two years worried about one tough set.

[Joe List]

God damn.

[Sam Morril]

Don't you, don't you wish we had a late show?

[Dan Soder]

I got checks.

[Joe List]

Get up and start doing the bits here.

[Sam Morril]

I had one guy go, you ever had like a hot set? You do a, you do like a killer tight hour and one guy goes, a lot of new stuff. You're working it out like, no, no, that was all like, that'll Be something.

[Dan Soder]

In a couple of months. Yeah, until you get the reno.

[Joe List]

We do half hours, but I know what you're talking about.

[Mark Normand]

I did a warm up set for my last special at Comedy on Stage, which is, like, the hottest crowd I was killing. I felt, like, so good to myself. March 11, and one of the guys. And one of the guys, like, filming the show, working the club was like, yeah, man. We had Sean Patton here like, a week ago. Best hour I've ever seen. I'm like. I'm like, I'm taping a special in a week.

[Sam Morril]

I know. Jesus Christ.

[Mark Normand]

I know. We didn't mean to be. Vitor just looked at me and started. We just started laughing, but I was like, come on, Albert.

[Sam Morril]

Albert Brooks has a thing called a compusault. He's like, if you wait with an audience member long enough, they will find a way to insult you.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, that's great.

[Joe List]

That's good.

[Dan Soder]

We had. We were loading in a venue somewhere.

[Sam Morril]

Loading in. Jeez. I feel. I picture him on a forklift.

[Dan Soder]

It's a Rascal, but you're not far off.

[Joe List]

Like Hannibal Lecter.

[Dan Soder]

He's grabbing a chicken finger.

[Sam Morril]

Walk to the kitchen.

[Joe List]

Toughened up your nipples a bit, did it?

[Mark Normand]

Nice bottle of Kean and some crab Rangoon.

[Dan Soder]

We were walking kitchen, and, you know, it's like the.

[Sam Morril]

The.

[Dan Soder]

The two waitresses, they were probably like, early 20s, didn't know us or the show or whatever. And they were just like, what the is this show? And you're just like, I sold it. The out. You could have learned the name of it.

[Joe List]

Yeah. Something garbage. They make fun of each other.

[Sam Morril]

I don't know.

[Dan Soder]

I don't even think they're comedians. Jesus Christ, ladies.

[Joe List]

Not a magician.

[Mark Normand]

People do love you guys. I mean, my cousin came in. When I did your live show. My cousin came. He never comes in from my shows. He came in to see. Yeah. People love you, man.

[Dan Soder]

Thank you.

[Joe List]

Thank you, buddy.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. You guys are killing it.

[Gary Veder]

Some questions for y'all.

[Joe List]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

Hey, check out the Route 66 special out now.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Sam Morril]

On YouTube.

[Dan Soder]

On YouTube.

[Joe List]

Check out, man, have you ever bombed in Rhode Island?

[Dan Soder]

It's not a bomb.

[Sam Morril]

Let's be honest, though. Those Yelp reviews, though, aren't always helpful. Sometimes you can tell it's somebody having a personal thing.

[Dan Soder]

You really got to wait on a curve. You got to go like, I was just looking at something, a product that me and my wife were thinking about buying, and, you know, was like, the battery sucks. The battery. I'm like, all right, well, then if there's 10 people.

[Joe List]

That makes sense.

[Dan Soder]

That's battery sucks. Then you go that way.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, but when it's personal, like, I could have used a good review. I bought the DVD of the movie Manhunter for the. I bought some DVDs for the bus. Fun to watch a movie at night. The top rated one, the first one that comes up. The only prime option is an Irish dvd. I didn't know this was a thing. So it says like 18 and up. And I was like, oh, yeah. I guess if you think about it. Yeah, that's not rated R. That's weird. Yeah, but 18 and up. So I give James a DVD and he puts in. He goes, this is an Irish dvd. It doesn't work in America. I was like, why do we have different DVDs? Yeah, what's going on? So that. That was. I didn't leave a review again.

[Joe List]

But that lady.

[Mark Normand]

I could have used a review there.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, true.

[Joe List]

That lady with you was either like a look at me moment. You know what I mean? That had nothing to do with you.

[Sam Morril]

Right, right.

[Dan Soder]

I try to. I try to talk to my wife about it. It's like we see so many people, like, you know, you do, even if you're just doing shows in the city. It's like a club's a hundred people. So you're in front of.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Communicate with a hundred people over and over. Over and over. Maybe, you know, you might do that fucking ten times a week.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

It's like the average person does not communicate with a hundred people in a month. Of course, statistically, we're just seeing more. You're like, oh, that's just mental illness that ladies.

[Sam Morril]

And it's one out of a hundred. So actually your odds are pretty damn good.

[Mark Normand]

But that lady, she was going through something else that.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You're not arguing with the joke.

[Joe List]

What, the lady in the parking lot. Same thing.

[Sam Morril]

Yes.

[Joe List]

You're filming yourself. Come on. That's about you.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, my God. You know what happened to me? I'm in a fucking. I'm in Atlanta. And we go to the rec center most days. We'll play basketball or something. There's a sauna by the porch.

[Dan Soder]

We're start doing it.

[Mark Normand]

It's not. It's not a sauna. Like, in the locker room, it's like, you know, you got to go in clothed, obviously, in like a bathing suit or something, because it's both sexes. So this guy comes in, he starts fucking filming himself in there. And I'm in the shot and I'm kind of like, hey, man. And I'm kind of like, hey, could you not do. Can I not be recorded in your shot?

[Joe List]

It's like, kind of suck this guy's dick over here.

[Mark Normand]

I don't want anyone to see this. I'm running for office at some point, but. Yeah. And he goes, I'm not filming you. And I go, I see you right there. A couple other people were like, yeah, dude, what the hell? I need. Cause I'm not filming. So I was like, fuck. I just left. I was like, I don't want to do that shit.

[Sam Morril]

Weird.

[Mark Normand]

The filming without permission is such a peeve of mine, but to do it.

[Sam Morril]

In a fucking hot tub, a sauna, yeah, that's crazy.

[Joe List]

There's guys that do it now. They're like. I don't know why they're doing it, but they'll stand. They'll be in front of, like, a business, and they'll be filming the business. And they're also. They're like. They're like, baiting the owner to come out and be like, hey, man, what are you doing? Public property. I'm filming. Don't touch me. And the guy, like, touches his camera and he pepper sprays him.

[Sam Morril]

What?

[Joe List]

What the fuck? They're just looking for. They're looking for the confrontation.

[Sam Morril]

I don't know if we should even bring this up, but do you guys see that Alec Baldwin thing?

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I thought you're talking about the gunshot.

[Joe List]

I was like, oh, yeah, we saw that.30 roc.

[Mark Normand]

What happened?

[Sam Morril]

This kid is dressed as Trump, and Al Baldwin's, like, off. He's pulling his luggage out of a car at his house, and he's just trying to go upstairs. And the guy's like, oh, you shot a lady. But he's doing it as Trump. And Alec Baldwin goes, if you weren't filming right now, I'd break your neck. My kids are inside.

[Dan Soder]

And he leans in. It's real. It's real movie. It's real. Like, he's. You could.

[Sam Morril]

He's like.

[Dan Soder]

He leans in. He's like, listen, these cameras weren't here right now, I'd break your.

[Joe List]

He takes so much.

[Dan Soder]

We also know the comedian.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, really?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, shoot.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, I know who he is. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It's pretty shitty to do to this guy. I mean, the guy's just trying to, like, get into his apartment.

[Mark Normand]

Everyone's trying to. Everyone's trying to make their own name right now in ways that are boundaryless, I think.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Yeah. Cause they want the clicks.

[Dan Soder]

I was. I was leaving the cellar. I Was telling him I was leaving the Cellar the other night and I was getting picked up at Ben's and there was two comics barking for, like, one, you know, one of the clubs. And the guy's like, yeah, I don't want to get seen until my material's ready. And I'm like, that's probably like an 8 month comic making that decision of like, like. But I'm like, you have to be like, do I want to get likes? Right? It's great right there. At eight months in, this guy's having this conversation. I'm not ready to be seen.

[Sam Morril]

Anonymity is mature.

[Dan Soder]

It's mature.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, sure, sure.

[Joe List]

You got a camera on me? The ring.

[Sam Morril]

No, it's the ring.

[Joe List]

You realize my kids live in this building, right? But I want you to know something.

[Mark Normand]

We love the children.

[Joe List]

We're doing great deals for the children. Careful, okay? If this camera was here, I'd snap neck and half and break your neck.

[Mark Normand]

Right? You know that, don't you?

[Joe List]

Okay. All right.

[Mark Normand]

Alec Balden.

[Joe List]

Alec, bald.

[Sam Morril]

The guy stayed in the pocket. You got to hand it to him, man.

[Joe List]

I love he.

[Dan Soder]

Deliver it like Jack.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, okay. Oh, he's yelling at me.

[Joe List]

I'm a citizen of this guy.

[Dan Soder]

I was born and raised in New York City.

[Joe List]

I love you, Alec.

[Sam Morril]

Alec.

[Joe List]

Your favorite president.

[Sam Morril]

We need more bald ones out there.

[Dan Soder]

I love them.

[Sam Morril]

I do, too.

[Mark Normand]

He's got more balls than Dairo, that.

[Sam Morril]

I can tell you.

[Dan Soder]

De Niro ran away, Alec.

[Joe List]

Confronted.

[Mark Normand]

That's good.

[Joe List]

Damn. They always bust this guy's chops, man.

[Sam Morril]

Just let him go.

[Dan Soder]

I don't understand it.

[Sam Morril]

He shot the wrong person.

[Dan Soder]

I saw. I saw him in JFK recently and. What?

[Sam Morril]

No, I don't know. I was.

[Dan Soder]

He was walking by himself and everybody was just like, yo, Alec. And it was like. It was like kind of like a hero's walk. I get. It's New York, so he's.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Very liberal, but it was like he. It was. It was great to see everybody, like, because you only see him at his fucking lowest anymore. I mean, you see him in like a murder trial. He's getting accosted on the street.

[Joe List]

I bet you still got in the tank, too. I wouldn't want to with him. No.

[Dan Soder]

His legs look really bad in the second Comedians in Cars, though.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

When they're walking on his knees. He's got bad.

[Joe List]

Hit you with a miniola. Two step. There's.

[Mark Normand]

There's rage in there.

[Sam Morril]

Oh.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You ever saw the behind the scenes Larry Sanders where he's boxing with Gary Shanley, pull it up. But he's like hitting him hard and I'm like, dude, Shanley's tiny. What are you doing?

[Sam Morril]

I know the doc. I think, well, he's a Irish guy from Long island with four brothers.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You know, the guy did. Did some whaling. Yeah, I think he played hockey as well.

[Dan Soder]

He's the oldest brother, right?

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah. Boy, can you imagine the four Baldwin brothers back in the late 70s, just running club.

[Dan Soder]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

Billy, Steven, the other guy, Danny.

[Joe List]

I mean, it must have been nuts.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, look at these guys.

[Dan Soder]

He's a good looking older guy now.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, my God, you guys must have tore through Baldwin.

[Joe List]

Young was a different kind of good looking.

[Sam Morril]

Yes.

[Joe List]

He looks like two different people. Like he's a good looking dude now.

[Sam Morril]

Right.

[Joe List]

But back then.

[Sam Morril]

Holy shit. The coke years. Foley bought a few off that guy.

[Joe List]

No test strips back then.

[Mark Normand]

Glengarry. Alec Baldwin is a piece of ass.

[Joe List]

Oh, watched it last night.

[Sam Morril]

Blue eyes. Black Irish baby. Good times.

[Joe List]

Could have been Jack Ryan for those other two movies.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he was Jack Ryan in one, right?

[Joe List]

Yeah, he was Humphrey.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah, Beetlejuice. He had a run. Look at that hair.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Good looking. Jet Black.

[Mark Normand]

Always be closing.

[Joe List]

Today's man suit on. Still making it work.

[Mark Normand]

Hey, Bill Burr and Glenn Gary. Yeah, we got to go see.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe List]

Pretty cool.

[Sam Morril]

Quite a kick. Kieran Culkin, Bob Odenkirk, Come on.

[Mark Normand]

You hear the story that Nathan Lane is the reason he got the role?

[Sam Morril]

I did hear that.

[Mark Normand]

Crazy.

[Joe List]

What do you mean?

[Dan Soder]

And who got the role?

[Mark Normand]

Bill Burr. That he apparently called one of the direct, I guess, the director and said like, you need to hire this guy.

[Joe List]

Wow, I love that.

[Mark Normand]

He's an arena act. He's a killer. He's angry, he talks like these guys and you're like, that's pretty cool.

[Sam Morril]

I had to follow Bill Burr at New York Comedy Club the other night.

[Mark Normand]

Murder.

[Sam Morril]

Like, you feel like, ah, I haven't seen a guy in a while. Wonder how he's doing. Maybe working out some shit. He killed. I mean, unlike your Rhode island said, he really crushed.

[Dan Soder]

Can a guy work on material?

[Joe List]

I mean, I'm sending an email.

[Sam Morril]

Killer stuff. We hung out a little bit. What a fun guy.

[Joe List]

That's awesome.

[Sam Morril]

He also did a lot of dark and the crowd pulled back. He's like, you New Yorker. He did that whole thing and you're like, yes. He still got some. Some edge. And he yelled at everybody.

[Joe List]

That's awesome.

[Dan Soder]

I've never really had any real interactions with him pass them by. At the Cellar once or twice, but that's about it.

[Mark Normand]

His episode on here is one of my favorites we got. I mean, I want to get him back, but it's hard to ask a Broadway actor to come in. He's got one day off now, totally acting wise.

[Joe List]

He was in the first season of the Mandalorian. He was great in it. Then came back for the second season. Man, his episode, he's unbelievable.

[Sam Morril]

Really?

[Joe List]

Oh, so good.

[Sam Morril]

If you would have told him 20 years ago he'd be in Star Wars. Kicked you in the ball.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Gary Veder]

This is real.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I think we have it on set.

[Joe List]

Yeah, we do. Hey, somebody gave it to us at a show. Migs Mayfield. Great.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah. Make Her Please.

[Dan Soder]

A family program.

[Sam Morril]

All right. Look at Danny. Man, that guy is bloated.

[Joe List]

All of them just killing it.

[Sam Morril]

But Billy's a hunk.

[Joe List]

1976, Long Island.

[Sam Morril]

Man, those guys coming home from high school with the football jersey still on.

[Mark Normand]

Tag teaming chicks, high fives all around.

[Joe List]

They had to be the best looking guys in Long Island.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah, they're the lirr. They're just running train.

[Mark Normand]

Have you seen Billy Joel?

[Joe List]

True.

[Mark Normand]

That guy's getting asked because of his music.

[Sam Morril]

Not true. He's got to be 54 if he's a foot.

[Joe List]

You know what's funny is sometimes when you're out on Long island, you see, you know, like, they had such a big music scene in the 80s where like the, like the hair bands that didn't make it out but still made a killing out there and like played locally. Oh, yeah, you see some of those guys now in like their 60s and they could. They still have the hair. And you're like, oh, you were a fucking bass player for fucking White Lotus or something in 1985.

[Sam Morril]

That's the first thing I think when I see an old rocker, I'm just like, man, the trim. This guy must have slipped through. Look at these guys. These guys were just pounding, dude.

[Dan Soder]

They were fucking loaded.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah. Blue Oyster Cult.

[Joe List]

Are they Long Island? Yeah, no shit.

[Mark Normand]

Blue Oyster Clown or some other Long Island Twisted Sister.

[Dan Soder]

I think Twisted Sister really never got out of New York. I feel.

[Sam Morril]

Right. I see D. Snider all the time.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Where do you see him?

[Sam Morril]

He's in the village just walking around.

[Dan Soder]

Did you ever hear he was completely broke working a day job? Like this is after Twisted Sister. He was working at like the front desk of like a tanning salon or something crazy. And someone came to him to write Christmas music for somebody. And it's like turned into, like, three famous Christmas songs that are written by D. Sn.

[Mark Normand]

Look up what the songs were.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

He tells this snider what Christmas songs he wrote. He tells the stories. He was working at the front desk of, like, a dentist office or a gym or something like that.

[Mark Normand]

That dude's got a look.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe List]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, Celine Dion.

[Sam Morril]

Him and Judy Gold. Wait, do they pour some sugar on me?

[Joe List]

No, that's Def Leppard.

[Sam Morril]

Sorry.

[Mark Normand]

They're like, I want a rock. Right?

[Sam Morril]

Is that it? What's. What's D. Snyders?

[Gary Veder]

Yeah. I want to rock.

[Joe List]

We're not gonna take it. Was there a big mpv?

[Sam Morril]

Gotta take it.

[Joe List]

It had the guy from Animal House in it. Neidermeyer.

[Mark Normand]

He was.

[Joe List]

He. He was like the mean.

[Dan Soder]

The heavy guy.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

We're not gonna take. Hilarious. Whatever pays the bills.

[Joe List]

Sure.

[Sam Morril]

Comedians can't do that. We can't go up with Christmas jokes that pay off the debts.

[Joe List]

Oh, that would be awesome.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Just go out once a year. Like a mall Santa Claus. Yeah. You.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Like December to January. You just clean up.

[Mark Normand]

I'm working on my Halloween chunk.

[Sam Morril]

What's the deal with the O logs?

[Dan Soder]

Left one in the toilet in Rhode Island.

[Mark Normand]

Gary Goldman has a whole album called All I want for Hanukkah is Christmas. And it's just all holidays.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Love.

[Sam Morril]

That's incredible.

[Mark Normand]

I got a music wreck for you guys.

[Sam Morril]

Please.

[Mark Normand]

Sidney Bechet. New Orleans guy.

[Sam Morril]

I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

Saxophonist. You'll know him when you hear him. Amazing. Crazy life story. You can look it up. His. His life. He got in. He was a. From New Orleans. Ended up moving to France. He's like, oh, I got treated way better here. And he got into a duel with some guy and then accidentally shot a woman during the duel.

[Joe List]

What?

[Mark Normand]

And he got deported back to that guy. Deported back to New York.

[Joe List]

I thought he was new.

[Mark Normand]

No. Yeah, apparently. I looked him up. He apparently influenced Duke Ellington, but he couldn't read music.

[Sam Morril]

Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

But he didn't blow up to, like, the 40s, but yeah. It's like. His shit is great.

[Sam Morril]

Was it a gun duel or a sword duel?

[Joe List]

A gun holy saxophone duel. I feel like that's coming back a little bit. By the way.

[Sam Morril]

Duels.

[Joe List]

The horn. Now the horns are cut. Not that they're in popular music. I think they're coming back. The sax, specifically.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I hope so. I love horns. So do the Jews.

[Joe List]

This is what you're listening to.

[Sam Morril]

I love it.

[Joe List]

I wonder. The driver's falling asleep. Need a little Twisted Sister on the road.

[Mark Normand]

Dude, I. I can't do music with lyrics if I'm trying to write jokes.

[Joe List]

I'll give you that same.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. This is nice.

[Mark Normand]

It's nice. It's good music.

[Sam Morril]

This is just. With plays. When you walk through New Orleans, this is what you hear.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, dude, we got. We were just walking. We heard some great. Just local musicians there.

[Sam Morril]

I know, it's incredible. I went to the Blue Note once. I was like, I've seen this on the sidewalk and the Big Easy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, yeah. Oh, the blue night up here.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Darwin's packed out, though. Always places bumping.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, people love jazz. It's still like you go to the. What's the other one? There's a couple Smalls.

[Joe List]

Smalls. That's the old school joint. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

One in midtown. That's really good. It's like 40 something. 44.

[Sam Morril]

Birdland.

[Mark Normand]

Birdland, that's it.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. There's another one. There's like four in the Village. They're still there. I would love.

[Joe List]

What's the place on the corner across the street from Ben's.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Groove.

[Joe List]

Yeah, it does all right.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You do want to film a special there. You mean?

[Sam Morril]

I thought it'd be fun to go from jazz club to jazz club.

[Dan Soder]

Very cool.

[Sam Morril]

Comedy and jazz. It kind of a similar vibe.

[Joe List]

Yeah, that'd be pretty cool.

[Sam Morril]

Call it notes. You bringing notes up. Don't do that.

[Dan Soder]

Rhode island don't like it.

[Sam Morril]

All right.

[Joe List]

Spike you up on some heroin.

[Sam Morril]

Let's. Let's see these questions. Hey, fatty, hit me.

[Mark Normand]

Well, I'm sure we. There's a bunch. You can cruise through them.

[Gary Veder]

All right.

[Mark Normand]

They're not good.

[Sam Morril]

Are they? Mean.

[Gary Veder]

We have one here. Oh, sorry. They're just out of.

[Mark Normand]

They're a little out of order.

[Sam Morril]

All right. This whole court's out of order.

[Gary Veder]

If I can read it out loud, it might be better.

[Sam Morril]

Are you on mic?

[Gary Veder]

Yes, sir.

[Sam Morril]

Okay.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, sir.

[Dan Soder]

Sorry, sir.

[Mark Normand]

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Yeah, I love prize picks.

[Mark Normand]

I think prize picks is crushing it. I think they're a good time. I love watching sports. Why would you not do this?

[Sam Morril]

You got to do it. I mean, I had a lot of money on that hockey game. U.S. versus Canada. Cleaned up.

[Mark Normand]

You bet on Canada, you scumbag.

[Sam Morril]

That. Well, you know, Trudeau is the governor. Hey, all right.

[Mark Normand]

That was good. That was perfect.

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[Mark Normand]

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[Gary Veder]

I crouching over in a public toilet.

[Sam Morril]

That's not a.

[Joe List]

Okay, that's what I'm saying.

[Mark Normand]

These are like, is it garbage?

[Sam Morril]

They think there be.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, they hovering. That's what it means.

[Gary Veder]

Like they're crouching over the public.

[Mark Normand]

Well, if you're crouching over, it might miss the water.

[Joe List]

Yeah, it's a lot of on your phone, spreading your cheeks and all that stuff. It's like, dude, just roll with it.

[Dan Soder]

I do a hover if I'm real Janet, you know, I mean, it's never. It's like if there's pee and shit on the toilet seat and I Don't have time to be like, I gotta be a janitor and clean this. Yeah, I'll do my best to hover.

[Mark Normand]

Do you do the little Saran Wrap thing? Not Saran Wrap. What do you call it? The paper. The what?

[Joe List]

The ring.

[Sam Morril]

He's.

[Joe List]

I mean, I can't do it. I need. I need the cheeks to catch and open up.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, he's got a wild. We've talked about this a bunch. But he has a insane public bathroom.

[Mark Normand]

What is it?

[Dan Soder]

Ritual?

[Sam Morril]

Hit me, fatty.

[Joe List]

I'll flush the toilet. Yeah, I'll take the toilet paper, do a little dab of the water in the toilet and then wipe off the seat.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I've done that.

[Dan Soder]

See, you're not in good company. What are you talking about?

[Mark Normand]

It's a little weird. A little weird?

[Dan Soder]

That's insane.

[Sam Morril]

It hit the sink too.

[Joe List]

You could at the sink, but you don't. Then you got to walk out there with your pants down.

[Dan Soder]

Could do it on the way in. That's crazy to me. I'll do like toilet paper. All right. You know, I'll give it a once over visually. And if.

[Joe List]

Yeah, that's not the classy move of that. That's. That's pretty gross. And plus, that also means you're used to fucking squatting and shitting, which isn't great.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, the squatting. Shitting thing. I knew growing up who would do that. The kind of stand pooper. And I was like, yeah, what are we doing?

[Sam Morril]

It takes all the joy out of. Of it.

[Dan Soder]

I just got a squatty potty.

[Sam Morril]

It's game changer nuts. Couldn't I just crazy put a stack of books. Do I have to buy the.

[Joe List]

Trying to save a buck.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Do I have to spend 99?

[Sam Morril]

9.99. Hold on.

[Mark Normand]

Pull up the squatty potty.

[Sam Morril]

What is elevation right cinder block.

[Dan Soder]

Because that's. You're supposed to poop with your knees higher. Like that's how you're like colon or whatever shaped.

[Joe List]

You're the guy in black and white on the infomercial. Like standing on two telephone.

[Dan Soder]

You want to be an idiot, there's.

[Mark Normand]

Got to be an easy. You in?

[Sam Morril]

I gotta spend 25 bucks on a piece of plastic.

[Dan Soder]

You get saved 10%, 15% of your first order.

[Joe List]

What are you talking about?

[Sam Morril]

I get six bibles and a Quran and we're backing.

[Mark Normand]

That's.

[Dan Soder]

That's more than 24.99.

[Sam Morril]

I got them at home.

[Mark Normand]

25. You can't spend 20. The books are more expensive than 25.

[Sam Morril]

But I already have the book steals it from.

[Joe List]

You have a Bible at the house?

[Sam Morril]

I got many.

[Joe List]

Really?

[Sam Morril]

Why sell them.

[Joe List]

Is that true?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Paper moon.

[Joe List]

Paper moon.

[Sam Morril]

You've got.

[Dan Soder]

Dude, I had. It's because it's like. It's, you know, kind of opens. It lines everything up and opens the door. I went out drinking one night real bad, and I had fucking bud mud diarrhea with one of those things. It is like I almost ended up in the apartment above us.

[Joe List]

I didn't realize it was levels to them. There's heights to them.

[Dan Soder]

I just got the standard John.

[Joe List]

Yeah. I got. I felt like a Russian astronaut.

[Mark Normand]

Why is it better for you there?

[Joe List]

Lines you up.

[Dan Soder]

See how, like, your colon is, like, kinked.

[Sam Morril]

I get.

[Dan Soder]

Or your rectum. I don't know what it is. Is.

[Sam Morril]

Would this work for its anal sex?

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You think the knee should be up?

[Dan Soder]

Oh, let's hit the bathroom and figure it out.

[Joe List]

Yeah, that gets him to buy it.

[Sam Morril]

Get that Bible. Let's go.

[Mark Normand]

Because I. Because now I sleep with a pillow in between my knees. Do you do that to line up the spine?

[Joe List]

I do. I just do it just so I need the comfort. One between my knees and I. And I hug one. Damn.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I do that.

[Sam Morril]

I do it. Yeah, it feels good. Yeah, it does feel better.

[Joe List]

I remember when body pillows were back and I had a body pillow.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Remember the boyfriend pillow?

[Dan Soder]

What's that?

[Sam Morril]

Me neither.

[Mark Normand]

What's this, a soda bit?

[Gary Veder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, is this about getting older?

[Dan Soder]

Being honest at the age of 40.

[Mark Normand]

You know, I like more than good sex, good sleep.

[Dan Soder]

My fiance was like, do you want to sleep for nine hours uninterrupted?

[Sam Morril]

I'd be like, oh, you get over here. I'm gonna hold you.

[Mark Normand]

I'm trying to stuff a pillow in between my knees.

[Sam Morril]

There you go.

[Mark Normand]

That's how you get six noises out of me at 40. Put that pillow there.

[Dan Soder]

I'm like, oh.

[Mark Normand]

Oh.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, my hips are lined up.

[Joe List]

All right.

[Mark Normand]

God, doesn't it depress the. To you how much we have to censor this to get it?

[Sam Morril]

I know.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, how many bleeps there were? There's a hilarious bit, but God damn. Damn it.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. What do we do?

[Joe List]

I know what he's saying when I get into bed. And, like, the. Like, the comforter is fresh and the sheets are fresh. I have audible. Oh, yeah. And then I lift the blanket up and put the. Put the comforter between my legs.

[Sam Morril]

That's nice, clean living. Oh, yeah, I love it. Wait. Oh, go back to the questions. You ever Been so hungover. Speaking of dirty toilets, you've been so hungover where you're like, yakking or you got food poisoning and the toilet's filthy, but you don't give a. Yeah, you're in such bad shape, you're, like, leaning on the porcelain.

[Dan Soder]

Relief of it is better than whatever you're getting.

[Sam Morril]

There's a turd floating in there. You could care less.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, you're doing, like, shifts between puking and. Yeah, you're, like, switching over.

[Sam Morril]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

Shift change.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Awful. All germaphobia goes out the window.

[Gary Veder]

So I got one here. This is from DZ's Mundo. He asks, are you garbage if you ate raw hot dogs as a kid?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I did that.

[Joe List]

Right of passage.

[Sam Morril]

Hell yeah.

[Dan Soder]

They're not raw. They're. They come cooked. They're just cold.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

That was shamey for white trash.

[Joe List]

I did raw hot dogs, I did dog food, I did dirt, and I did my mom's roll on deodorant, which was weird.

[Sam Morril]

What, though?

[Joe List]

Yeah, I would lick it. I would lick my mom's roll. Deodorant.

[Dan Soder]

This is twisted Sister, man.

[Sam Morril]

If you don't eat ass, I'll be confused.

[Joe List]

My favorite.

[Sam Morril]

All right, he's just.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Get the squatty body.

[Mark Normand]

What flavor deodorant are we talking?

[Joe List]

It was like.

[Dan Soder]

It was like I was right guard.

[Sam Morril]

Okay.

[Joe List]

Because it was like. It was that baby powder and flavor. I don't know why I would do it.

[Sam Morril]

Interesting. Yeah, it's similar to a. Like a push pop when you think about it.

[Joe List]

Yeah. I would also. Anytime there was a bottle of cough medicine around, I would grab it and chug it. My mom would freak out.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. We had this pink medicine that was so fucking good.

[Joe List]

I know exactly what you're talking about. It's an antibiotic.

[Dan Soder]

Amoxicillin.

[Joe List]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

I love it.

[Mark Normand]

Pull it up.

[Dan Soder]

I love dimetab too, as a kid. Gets you back in here.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You ever snort some Vagisil? That's the crazy stuff there, dude.

[Joe List]

This is my girl right here.

[Gary Veder]

Was she eating that 29 minute video of a lady licking deodorant?

[Sam Morril]

29 minutes.

[Dan Soder]

She probably makes more money than all of us.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, right? Oh.

[Mark Normand]

People who do like, like, this is a cooking hack. Some of these are harder than. You take out the deodorant stick and you put butter in there and you can apply it. This is all more work.

[Dan Soder]

I don't think that's. I think that's just like.

[Joe List]

The only one that's good is you go to a diner, you Get a pat of butter. That's in the. For oil.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

They take a fork and poke it in there and then you squeeze that and it comes out like play. D'oh.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's kind of cool.

[Joe List]

Take that to the bank for like.

[Mark Normand]

A baked potato or something.

[Sam Morril]

Is that why you're hard butter Tuck?

[Dan Soder]

That's hard.

[Mark Normand]

What else? What other questions we have? Anything good?

[Sam Morril]

Here we go.

[Dan Soder]

This is gonna stink.

[Gary Veder]

Is it trashy to find farts funny?

[Mark Normand]

No, they're.

[Joe List]

Yeah. Are you writing these as these are going? No.

[Dan Soder]

Do you find Matt's alky's cute?

[Joe List]

Is he trashy circle, yes or no?

[Gary Veder]

Oh, man, these are terrible. Am I garbage? If I religiously watch? We might be drunk and. Are you garbage?

[Joe List]

No.

[Dan Soder]

Class, baby.

[Joe List]

All class.

[Mark Normand]

I do feel like we got a nice little crossover.

[Joe List]

100% huge crossover.

[Mark Normand]

And we both come out on Sundays, right?

[Joe List]

Right, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Sunday night. We come out Sunday nights and Wednesday nights.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, you guys are.

[Dan Soder]

You guys are doing two, four episodes a week. Between what? Between Patreon and Lot.

[Mark Normand]

Thanks for coming here. Holy shit. Are you guys sick of talking?

[Joe List]

No, we're still maybe a little bit.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, we're coming off of the work because we did a wild run promo for the special. So it's like. Yeah, we're fucking gassed a little bit.

[Mark Normand]

When you do a live show on the road, how much is stand up? How much is like crowd question?

[Joe List]

We each do about 25 minutes of standup and then we do about a half an hour of. Are you guarding garbage with the crowd?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, that's fun. It's great.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

No real heavy lifting, you know.

[Sam Morril]

And you film all that and that could be Patreon.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. So the. So yeah, so we. The special that what we drop. We're dropping. And we did Route 66, Chicago to LA. We filmed like essentially a special at every show. It was like nine shows from Chicago to la. And then we have the bus and like, you know, so it's. You ever see like Vince Vaughn's Wild Wild West? It's very. It's like our version of that or Comedians of Comedy or whatever. Whatever. So it's a lot of behind the scenes stuff.

[Sam Morril]

This going to pay off? I mean, that's.

[Dan Soder]

No, we're in the money. Like $200,000.

[Joe List]

We went heavy thing.

[Mark Normand]

You just have to accept you're going to be in the hole. Yeah, that's. That's a state of entertainment.

[Joe List]

Sure.

[Dan Soder]

It's also like we wanted to do, like, it'll be fun to be on a bus for Two weeks. Just crazy. Like, we. To do it for the life experience. And then also it's like, we've gotten this far by making bad financial decisions to an extent. You know what I mean?

[Sam Morril]

Like, that's garbage.

[Dan Soder]

That's. Yes. That's like, let's make it. Let's use it to make cool and, you know, have fun.

[Sam Morril]

You got to remember the fun part, because a lot of people like, how you doing that gig? The money's not great. I'm like, it's gonna be a blast. Like, fully loaded.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You might actually make more if you did your own headlining.

[Joe List]

Sure.

[Sam Morril]

But you gotta go get drunk. Getting a hot Ari a lot for that.

[Dan Soder]

Of, like, it's a good life experience. It's cool.

[Sam Morril]

Totally.

[Dan Soder]

When he would get like, I like you guys to go do, like, four guys in wherever and then go skiing or.

[Sam Morril]

Yes, yes, whatever.

[Dan Soder]

I'm like, that's a cool weekend that I would like to be able to do. As we.

[Sam Morril]

Ari might be a little. He's like, I'm doing a gig in Gaza. Pays $6. I get to wear a. A bulletproof vest.

[Mark Normand]

He walks around shirtless with a little hiking stick.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah. Always.

[Mark Normand]

You got to know when to cut Ari off. Like, the first half of the advice is good. Then he's like, you guys should stage.

[Dan Soder]

That's a good 100%.

[Joe List]

That's one of the. The things that we're lucky. Like, we didn't. We weren't headliners before we did this. You know, I was hosting in the city. He was doing road work, so we were able to have the experience off rip where we were going out with somebody. And I feel like everybody's doing that now more so than ever. Like, you know, Gary, everybody's taking the boys, all that kind of stuff, and everybody's together. It makes it so much better.

[Mark Normand]

It makes the road. It makes the road bearable.

[Joe List]

Like an 80s headliner. I mean, that must have sucked.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, well, that was where the drugs and the booze came. Sure.

[Dan Soder]

There's, like, no Uber. You just got to get a car with wherever. Yeah, it's like, sucks.

[Mark Normand]

They must have been low, lonely. I mean, you don't have a cell phone. You don't. You're really alone. I mean, I know that there's isolation that comes from just checking your phone all the time, too, and feeling left out. But, like, just not having contact a hotel, charging a shitload of money, long distance to call.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Anyone. I mean, an 80s or 90s road comic, that early 90s, that must be Pretty tough.

[Joe List]

I mean, they were pulling those guys out of hotels left and right.

[Sam Morril]

I know it's a hard living. It's like a beating. Like a country singer in the fucking 60s.

[Joe List]

Sure.

[Sam Morril]

A lot of heroin.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. We're very fortunate just to, like. It's like you hang. We were hanging with like three or four of our friends or, you know, it's like, well, you got to think.

[Sam Morril]

Comedy is fairly new as a job at an art form, you know? So we've kind of perfected it just now quite quick.

[Joe List]

100%. Like in the last, like 10 years.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Less than that.

[Sam Morril]

You can make your own shit, you can post your own shit. You can pick who you want on the road, you can pick what gigs you want. You can say no to a check spot. Like, it's really.

[Joe List]

See, I mean, there's so many guys doing monster shows. You two, all the boys. It's crazy to see.

[Sam Morril]

I just did an arena with Gillis on Saturday, and you're like, we're at the four Cs. I mean, the whole thing's insane. You're like, we're just telling jokes. This guy's a drunk and fat, maybe. And we're having a great time.

[Joe List]

Awesome. Is it?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I had.

[Dan Soder]

We were watching down the the thing and like, we're closing out in LA at a theater. And I literally looked at him. I'm like, we do see. Like, this is crazy. Like, wait, we fill a theater with people from him calling me bald and me calling him fat?

[Sam Morril]

Like, it's incredible.

[Joe List]

Well, we went and saw when Kill Tony was so crazy. Garden. We went and watched and it was just like, is this nuts? Sold out shows at the goddamn Garden. And they were showing videos of, like, you know, the history starting out in the basement of wherever they were. Yeah, it's crazy.

[Sam Morril]

It's crazy.

[Joe List]

Great to see.

[Mark Normand]

I saw Shane working out his SNL monologue last night, and it's fun to watch.

[Sam Morril]

Of course.

[Mark Normand]

Second time hosting and. And then I only got to see the first, like, four minutes or so because they dragged me back around the corner and I made a comment. It was Marcelo and Sam J. Were watching too. And I was like, man, I love that he has this one joke. I. I hope. I wish he called back to it because it's such a funny opportunity for a callback. And they were like, yeah, yeah. And then I guess Shane found me around the corner and was like, I heard you said I should have a callback. You didn't see the end of the set. You got to See the end. So I watched it again. I was like, he called it back. Hey. I was like, it's just one of those things you comics, you're like, oh, I know. This is such a good opportunity war joke.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I was just like, I need. But it'll. It'll be out, but I'm not giving anything.

[Sam Morril]

It'll be.

[Mark Normand]

It'll be out by the time this comes out.

[Joe List]

But we had. We had him, O'Connor and Pope do spots on a pop up show we did at the Creek. Man. He goes out there.

[Mark Normand]

Fuck.

[Sam Morril]

It's like Elvis. Yeah.

[Joe List]

Murdering.

[Mark Normand]

It was on. It's a funny monologue. It's really funny.

[Sam Morril]

He.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, his level of faith. It's like. Well, you're like, geez, dude. I was in the bathroom at the Creek and like, the walls were.

[Mark Normand]

A riot broke out.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Amazing.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. It was a crazy weekend. Minneapolis. We're at the hotel, at the bar. Santino is doing his Hulu. He's also at the hotel. So we got to hang out with him. Kevin Hart walks up. No shit. He was at the hotel and he was doing some big Arena Club whatever.

[Mark Normand]

You chat with him, too?

[Sam Morril]

We chatted with him. He's little nice.

[Dan Soder]

Now you bump into Kevin Hart. Does he know who you are?

[Sam Morril]

Zero. I've met him 38 times. I call him, I say, I'm Kevin Hart on stage.

[Mark Normand]

And no one sent him that.

[Sam Morril]

You think, maybe, but I think he's just so busy. He's in a nice plunge or he's working out.

[Dan Soder]

So you think like. I think of that too. Of like, how busy you are, how busy, you know, the four of us are. And then imagine how busy that guy.

[Sam Morril]

Is on Jumanji time.

[Dan Soder]

He's got like, you know, he's got a family and it's just wild.

[Joe List]

I met him once again, not indirectly, but made a fool of myself. I was hosting for Keith helium, maybe like 2018 or whatever. Keith was running his hour and he's like, listen, listen, Gavin might come in. If he comes in, you know, I'll give you the signal. You come up, get me and bring him up. And they never came back. They came in, but they never came, like, back to the green room. So, like, Keith got to a certain point in his set and, like, looked at me like, are we good? Are we good? And then he goes, give it up for Kevin Hart. Nothing didn't come up. And it was just like this awkward 30 seconds. And then Kevin Hart came through the crowd and jumped up on stage. Stage, man. Gave it to me in the fucking green room. He's like, the last thing you said was, you got it.

[Sam Morril]

Well, Shane invited Kevin Hart. I was like, hey, come, I'm at the arena, come pop on after. And he was like, I don't know, we'll see. So the whole time you see Shane on stage, like closing, but he's checking.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And Kevin Hart's a little guy. So he was really like, is that a little five foot one black over there? What is set? And we saw him after and he was like, I'm not doing that. I got my own show. I'm not gonna close out your dumb show. I was like, that's a good point.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Makes total sense.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

As comics, we like say yes to everything you forget you can not do.

[Sam Morril]

I know, I know. And he's like, I'm not popping on your show. You pop it on my show. I'm Kevin Hart.

[Mark Normand]

So they did an arena the same night.

[Sam Morril]

Kevin Hart actually did some room called the Ambassador, which like this big music venue. But he did like 18 of them.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, probably him working on material.

[Sam Morril]

Exactly.

[Dan Soder]

8, 000 seats a night to work on material.

[Joe List]

What he did, man, when the punchline opened, he did like what?

[Dan Soder]

Like, did like punchline in Philly. He was filming in Philly. I think that that movie with Brian Cranston or whatever. Yeah, so he was, he shot in Philly. They just opened. That's a pretty big room, that punchline. And I think he did like 20 shows like in a week because he's like, I'm here filming anyway, so just like, like two a night. And the, the rumor is, is that he got the parking in his own guys. He's like, I'm gonna bring in a third party to get the part. And it was like $50 to park. And I don't know if he took that money or he just gave it to his boy, like, you know, hooked his boys up. But that was the, the understanding is he had a parking deal.

[Sam Morril]

That's crazy.

[Joe List]

A businessman mentality.

[Sam Morril]

If you do 20 headline club, you could almost work out your whole hour.

[Dan Soder]

Like you just finish here in a week.

[Sam Morril]

Exactly. That's a year in a week. Holy moly, man.

[Gary Veder]

That's about that Bradley Cooper shooting that stand up.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I thought you're gonna talk about his Philly cheesesteak.

[Dan Soder]

I had it great.

[Sam Morril]

What does that mean?

[Dan Soder]

Wait, wait, I didn't know he's doing a stand up. No, a stand up movie.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, a lot of stand up movies.

[Dan Soder]

They'Re just very, very rarely done. Well, what's his.

[Gary Veder]

I don't know about it. I just know they're filming next week.

[Mark Normand]

At the Cellar, I think. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It's all about the Kramer incident.

[Dan Soder]

He plays Craver.

[Joe List]

No shit. If anybody could pull it off, it's Cooper.

[Dan Soder]

Love a coop.

[Joe List]

Shout out to him.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Phillies having a moment.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

This Cooper. Know who you guys are now.

[Joe List]

But it's funny you mentioned that. I waited on him. Yeah, I waited on him. Probably 2016. I worked at this place on the corner of Bedford and Morton, which was like kind of a who's who of a neighborhood. Like Sophia Copa lived down the street. That's when Louis lived there. Maybe it was a little earlier. It was when Louie was filming Louie.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Joe List]

And I would see him walking his kids to school, like in the show. And then like two days later, you would see him filming Louie on the street. Same clothes, same glasses, the whole nine yards. It was surreal. But it was one snowy day and I was in there by myself. Sure. As he comes rolling in. We sat down at the bar. I got him an oatmeal and a mint tea, and we were talking. He went to a high school. We're about the same age. He went to, like, a private school right in my area. So we knew a couple of the same people.

[Sam Morril]

People, huh?

[Joe List]

And we were like. We were talking a little bit. I remember like, hey, do you know so and so he's lacrosse player. And I remember looking at me and he goes, you play lacrosse?

[Dan Soder]

That was the goal.

[Joe List]

Wrap it up and get out of here.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. This is apparently like a two hour wait.

[Sam Morril]

It's.

[Mark Normand]

I passed by it the other day and I was like, what? And then you're like, they look good.

[Dan Soder]

It exists in Philly, so it's a famous guy in Angelo's. And I think there's probably some variation, but it's very much.

[Joe List]

But he's back there cooking.

[Dan Soder]

He's back there cooking. Yeah.

[Joe List]

He's a real Renaissance man. He just also. I think he was just a camera operator on something.

[Dan Soder]

He was working a movie camera op on a movie.

[Sam Morril]

Really?

[Dan Soder]

Working like 13 hour days as a camera operator.

[Mark Normand]

I just did a benefit, but I showed up late because I had other spots, so I didn't get to meet him.

[Joe List]

But was he doing a benefit for.

[Mark Normand]

I think it was for veterans.

[Joe List]

Okay.

[Mark Normand]

It was a charity. It was a good charity. Whatever.

[Joe List]

He killed it in the announcement on the Super Bowl.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe List]

Bringing out the birds. He was great.

[Sam Morril]

Go Birds.

[Mark Normand]

You guys must be fucking thrilled about that.

[Joe List]

How's that ass Beating.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

That was a bad game. Do you wish it was a closer game or.

[Joe List]

No?

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Dan Soder]

That'S as close as a Philadelphia team can manage.

[Joe List]

They sacked him five times. They fucking stripped him, knocked him in the face. Kelsey didn't do shit. I fucking loved it.

[Sam Morril]

Hell, yeah.

[Joe List]

Nothing against them personally, but.

[Dan Soder]

No, it's personal.

[Mark Normand]

Do you hate Travis and love Jason?

[Joe List]

I don't hate them.

[Dan Soder]

Political answer. Coming in hot.

[Joe List]

He's fucking. I mean, he's an awesome tight end. Wind.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, he.

[Joe List]

That motherfucker.

[Mark Normand]

I was waiting for it.

[Joe List]

All right, pretty.

[Sam Morril]

I do love when these actors do extra. Like Daniel Day Lewis became a cobbler.

[Joe List]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

Ten minutes. And then he was like, all right, I'll go back.

[Joe List]

I know.

[Sam Morril]

They always go back.

[Joe List]

It's always the stories you hear too. Like maybe like, they're not that famous. Like. Yeah. I said no at first. And they had to like really come and beg me to do it. And I decided to do it.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Did you? Did you?

[Sam Morril]

I know. Oh, exactly.

[Mark Normand]

Some of those guys at that level, maybe.

[Joe List]

Yeah. No, it's true. But yeah, he was. He was like making shoes or something like that.

[Sam Morril]

D. Snider.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but it's always like a. It's always like a great actor. It's never like, Rob Schneider really was a European gigolo to prepare for this role.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, they made two of those fuckers.

[Mark Normand]

I was the second.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

European.

[Sam Morril]

European.

[Joe List]

First one was a home run.

[Mark Normand]

That was a heat check. Yeah, I'm going to be. I'm going to be a gigolo.

[Joe List]

Tim Meadows was in that too, wasn't he?

[Sam Morril]

What? Isn't he in?

[Joe List]

Yeah, I think Tim Meadows was like his guide in that in the beginning.

[Mark Normand]

He's great.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

The ladies man.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Yes. Maybe that's what I'm thinking of.

[Dan Soder]

House Boat.

[Mark Normand]

Bill got moments.

[Sam Morril]

It's.

[Dan Soder]

Ladies man was all right.

[Sam Morril]

It's. He was at the SNL 50th, which I love to see because it's like this super conservative who's gone off on these crazy rants and he has to. They all have to play nice with Rob Schneider, which is like, you know, SNL is like the most liberal show ever and they show. They shove his ass in there. There. I bet he was so uncomfortable. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

He went a little kooky. Patooki, right?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I don't keep up on the day.

[Joe List]

To day, but Twitter get you.

[Sam Morril]

It'll get you. You know, you have a few cocktails, you're in a hotel room alone, you start.

[Joe List]

Sure.

[Mark Normand]

Getting after it it's right in your pocket.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Got Roseanne too.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Gary Veder]

Like a cop walking around with a gun.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Kill you.

[Mark Normand]

The gun. The gun is more dangerous a bad cop is than a bad tweeter, Salus.

[Joe List]

Like an angry man with a knife.

[Dan Soder]

Let me get this guy.

[Joe List]

Have a chardonnay, something.

[Sam Morril]

Salue's got. Your lady got a. A bottle thrown at her and you went out to the guy. Oh, a rock. Sorry.

[Joe List]

Salue's got a little fire in him.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, you could tell.

[Joe List]

Nice.

[Mark Normand]

Who. A rock.

[Sam Morril]

Where.

[Mark Normand]

Where this happened.

[Gary Veder]

46Th Street. She was walking to the subway, like.

[Dan Soder]

Here, like in Midtown. 46th Street.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Geez.

[Mark Normand]

And it did. Did it come close to hitting her?

[Gary Veder]

Yeah, she said she ducked like this.

[Sam Morril]

Whoa.

[Gary Veder]

In the street. She was walking along where the buildings are, and it was just from the sidewalk, the edge of the sidewalk to the wall. And she had to go like this.

[Joe List]

Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

Did she. Did she smell what the rock was cooking?

[Joe List]

Did you drag her around? Like, where is he? Point me out.

[Gary Veder]

She was shook and she just jumped on the subway and left.

[Joe List]

Damn.

[Gary Veder]

I walked around the neighborhood showing her pictures of homeless guys. I was like, is it Tim?

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Dan Soder]

How'd you get pictures of homeless guys?

[Gary Veder]

I brought my phone and I was.

[Dan Soder]

Like, you started just taking pictures of random homeless guys.

[Sam Morril]

I was like, is this him through a rock?

[Joe List]

Probably Beautiful pictures too, by the way.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Don't look right at the camera.

[Mark Normand]

Rough day to be a homeless guy in Times Square.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Just everyone's when another homeless guy starts taking pictures.

[Joe List]

Is my trash.

[Dan Soder]

I'm heating up an hour in.

[Sam Morril]

What's that guy? People of New York. Then there and there. A guy who does homeless. Hobos. Humans of New York. You just say you're that guy.

[Dan Soder]

I might. We. I was walking my dog with my wife about 9, 10 o'clock at night. My neighborhood saw three kids across the street. And you could just tell it was like this. It was out of a movie. The one kid was afraid, so he was hanging back. Oh, the other kid pulled up. I think they're called the sheisties. Like, he pulled the thing up over his face. And I'm like. And they were following a woman. And I'm like, the energy of this just isn't good.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

But she didn't seem nervous. Nervous. And then a bus pulled up and stopped so I couldn't see. But they ran up and grabbed her bag or whatever. So I just hear her screaming. And I. I'm proud of him. I took off and chased them, but.

[Sam Morril]

All right.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, I Knew I wasn't.

[Sam Morril]

Was it a fake chase where you put the effort in?

[Dan Soder]

I waited for the light. I waited for the crosswalk.

[Sam Morril]

What kind of dog.

[Dan Soder]

You got a dog that. It will bite them.

[Sam Morril]

Okay, okay.

[Dan Soder]

But I gave the dog to my wife because I was like, you stay here. And with the dog and.

[Sam Morril]

Damn. Is that him?

[Gary Veder]

Looks like Kanye. You make yourself look like Kanye.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yikes.

[Dan Soder]

The city's going to.

[Sam Morril]

I know. Look at this. No one cares. That's weird. They're just like, oh, Kanye's here.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I don't know if it looks.

[Mark Normand]

I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.

[Joe List]

It looks still weird, which is the.

[Sam Morril]

Least racist thing I've ever said. They don't look alike. Man, this city, I'll tell you, it's kooky.

[Mark Normand]

It's going.

[Joe List]

It's always going to be great, though.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it is always going to be great. But that. That's crazy. To get a rock thrown to you. That's. I could kill a person.

[Sam Morril]

Was he Muslim?

[Gary Veder]

If I.

[Dan Soder]

Yes.

[Gary Veder]

Random homeless dude. Wife said that looks like him.

[Mark Normand]

Did you pepper spray another guy?

[Gary Veder]

No, I didn't find him. She didn't positively identify the guy.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, you're. You're a rogue vigilante. I don't know about garbage. I think you're maybe a menace to society, a criminal.

[Dan Soder]

Deserve to be. Locke, up.

[Sam Morril]

Manhunter now. Did you get a description of the guy?

[Gary Veder]

She described him.

[Sam Morril]

Okay. So that helps.

[Gary Veder]

And then I went around photographing guys who look like that. Texting her. He texted me back. She's like, not him. Not him.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, maybe him, but it's not good enough.

[Gary Veder]

Maybe it's not good enough for me to randomly pepper spray a dude.

[Mark Normand]

She got to get a confession, man.

[Joe List]

Not at all.

[Mark Normand]

You got to bring Detective Benson in for that one.

[Joe List]

Plus that pepper sprays hit or miss. It could just piss somebody off. Bear spray. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Have you ever pepper sprayed a person?

[Joe List]

No. What?

[Mark Normand]

I don't know. He has.

[Sam Morril]

I've gotten the brunt of it. Like, I wasn't directly hit, but I was around it, and it hurts.

[Mark Normand]

We gotta ask for consent.

[Dan Soder]

I thought she was sleeping.

[Joe List]

We had a kid do it in high school. In the stairwell?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

It fucking fucked up everybody.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

We were in college and a fight broke out. And in the stairwell, and There was like, 10 people, and nobody would stop the kids, whose house is like, knock it off. Knock it off. Knock it off. Off. I was down at the bottom and somebody just went and got a fire extinguisher. Just down the thing and everybody just was like. It just diffused the entire situation.

[Joe List]

Now that's kitschy. That's what you need.

[Dan Soder]

That's fun. That didn't hurt anybody. All right, I'm out of here.

[Mark Normand]

I think the gel is better than the spray. Especially.

[Dan Soder]

He's sending these pictures to his wife. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

The gel doesn't. The spray can go in the wind. Can go anywhere.

[Joe List]

But what's the gel?

[Mark Normand]

There's. Gel is. I think. Do you have it on you? Don't test it.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, hey.

[Sam Morril]

Is that gel a gel?

[Joe List]

And I like a pomade myself. Real. A gel gel.

[Gary Veder]

It's a direct spray so it can't.

[Dan Soder]

Blow back at you.

[Sam Morril]

No mist.

[Joe List]

Full psycho. Huh?

[Sam Morril]

The.

[Gary Veder]

Because you really did him right in the eyes of the. With the mist.

[Sam Morril]

Give me like a hit. Right on Rodney. Right there. Hit that.

[Joe List]

No, it'll.

[Mark Normand]

It'll up the air in here, man.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, really?

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Even the gel. Not the.

[Gary Veder]

Just like, you know, like the shave gel you put on your face.

[Sam Morril]

Go ahead. Go ahead and hit me on the. On the we might be drunk poster there. Can we get a shot of this?

[Joe List]

I got lunch after this.

[Dan Soder]

Branding on a burrito still pepper.

[Joe List]

What are you doing?

[Mark Normand]

Wait for him to get the video.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

We need content as we kill ourselves.

[Sam Morril]

I want to see this joke. Yeah.

[Joe List]

We gotta walk by this.

[Sam Morril]

You gotta. You'll be fine. You like jello?

[Joe List]

He sprays himself in the face.

[Mark Normand]

You just get Andy McDowell.

[Joe List]

Jesus Christ. Goddamn.

[Mark Normand]

That's misogynist.

[Sam Morril]

Wait.

[Gary Veder]

It's starting to sting the nostrils.

[Sam Morril]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

That's a great bar. Gets you line. When he's like, yes. He got maced or something. And they're like, was it mace or pepper spray?

[Sam Morril]

He's like, what kind of life would.

[Dan Soder]

I be leaving if I could tell the difference?

[Sam Morril]

He's good.

[Dan Soder]

He's good. I think his first album, that was.

[Joe List]

Oh, we're.

[Mark Normand]

It's like ketchup versus cats up. But it's for, you know, getting.

[Sam Morril]

There you go.

[Mark Normand]

Taken down sound.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I got a whiff.

[Joe List]

Did you really?

[Sam Morril]

I gotta fart and clear the air.

[Mark Normand]

Damn. Come on, Mark.

[Joe List]

I mean, my eyes are burning a little bit. No, I'm writing an email. That's it.

[Mark Normand]

I knew this was a bad idea.

[Sam Morril]

One star, you get nothing. What are you guys crazy? I'm. I'm deeply inhaling. I'm getting nothing.

[Dan Soder]

It's pretty crazy. There's a guy walking around my neighborhood now who's just taunting women and just being like, you dumb. I'll kill You. But he's not doing anything illegal enough to where the cops could arrest him and prosecute him. So they're not even arresting them.

[Sam Morril]

You sure he's not just doing crowd work?

[Dan Soder]

He's got a camera.

[Mark Normand]

That Jeff die having a bad day, right?

[Sam Morril]

There you go, Peters.

[Mark Normand]

How bad is the smell over there? Matt, he's. Yeah, don't sniff it that close. What are you doing?

[Sam Morril]

Chloroform.

[Mark Normand]

It's not that bad.

[Sam Morril]

All right, you see, it's the Jill. Nice. There you go. So, yeah, the guy's taunting women.

[Dan Soder]

They just can't arrest him. It's been about five weeks. Norman's like, I've never been to your neighborhood. It's been about over a month now. And he's been arrested once this week and he's already back out on the street that next day.

[Sam Morril]

It's not illegal.

[Dan Soder]

I know. Yeah, he tries to put cigs in kids mouths and stuff like that. He says he's gonna kill your dog.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I just got a whiff.

[Joe List]

Did you really? Throat.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I got in the throat.

[Dan Soder]

A bad hang.

[Joe List]

Does it smell like peppers?

[Sam Morril]

No, you wish.

[Mark Normand]

How bad is that shit?

[Joe List]

Stuffed.

[Sam Morril]

I don't have it yet. I caught it in the throat, but I have.

[Dan Soder]

Unless I have Covid.

[Joe List]

Yeah, I'm not getting it either.

[Sam Morril]

All right.

[Joe List]

It's like an aerosol hairspray kind of thing.

[Dan Soder]

I'm getting a little light headed.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, no, it's more of like when.

[Gary Veder]

You have something caught in your throat.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

All right, we're fine.

[Joe List]

I had a piece of granola caught in my throat last night.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, that'll get you.

[Joe List]

Oh, man.

[Mark Normand]

Damn. I do love some granola though, man.

[Joe List]

A little yogi with a little bit of honey.

[Mark Normand]

Parfait action. Throw some fruit in there.

[Joe List]

Yeah, I have a trick for Chobani. If you're Chobani people.

[Sam Morril]

Sure.

[Dan Soder]

Throw it out and get a sandwich.

[Joe List]

Hey, it's good.

[Dan Soder]

Take that, Rhode Island.

[Joe List]

Shake it up before you open it. Don't you. Don't stir it. Shake it up and then open it and it's all mixed in. Try that on the road.

[Sam Morril]

What about the peanut butter with the oil? Does that work for that?

[Joe List]

What? Peanut butter?

[Sam Morril]

It's an oily peanut butter.

[Joe List]

No, he's talking about the fan.

[Mark Normand]

He's asking the fancy peanut butter.

[Sam Morril]

You don't buy that? You're a jiff man.

[Joe List]

I don't have peanut butter in the house, but yeah, I wouldn't buy that.

[Sam Morril]

Really? Just keep in your pocket.

[Mark Normand]

I love big peanut butter.

[Sam Morril]

I love I can't live without peanut.

[Mark Normand]

I eat it by the spoonful.

[Sam Morril]

Me too.

[Joe List]

I do a peanut butter spray.

[Mark Normand]

Just hope they have an allergy, you.

[Sam Morril]

Piece of that might work. Another allergy guy. Yeah.

[Joe List]

You do peanut butter. You caught it.

[Mark Normand]

I caught it?

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It goes in and out. What were you saying?

[Joe List]

You do peanut butter by the spoon.

[Mark Normand]

Spoonful. I love it.

[Sam Morril]

You don't do that.

[Joe List]

No.

[Sam Morril]

I go, I can't go a day without peanut butter.

[Dan Soder]

It's good protein.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah. It's bad for.

[Mark Normand]

You don't have too much, but yeah, you have a little bit and then. Yeah.

[Joe List]

A lot of seed oils.

[Mark Normand]

Some Greek yogurt.

[Sam Morril]

Man, that's my Zen is peanut butter. I just put it right there.

[Mark Normand]

When did Zinn become so popular?

[Sam Morril]

Everybody loves.

[Mark Normand]

Everyone loves this.

[Joe List]

I don't know. There's no tobacco in them. I've been on them, but they're like my mouth up.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah, they'll get you.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Speaking some healthy vices.

[Sam Morril]

See, the Nutella guy died.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. You were really.

[Sam Morril]

I love Nutella.

[Mark Normand]

Mark's a Nutella.

[Joe List]

Well, they say that's all palm oil. That's no good for you.

[Sam Morril]

That's my N word. Love Nutella.

[Dan Soder]

The guy who created it.

[Sam Morril]

Yes. They spread his ashes.

[Joe List]

A bit of a hazelnut.

[Dan Soder]

I think Mark's getting hit with that pepper spray.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Gary Veder]

Francisco Rivella comes from a Nutella.

[Joe List]

Oh, maybe Nutella, the co creator died February 13th. Died on Valentine's Day helping develop TikTok.

[Dan Soder]

Kinder Chocolate and Ferrero Rocher.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Dan Soder]

That's a little bit of cake.

[Joe List]

That's a legacy.

[Dan Soder]

That's a repack.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, speaking of. Speaking of Valentine's Day, I got a fucking pee for you.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, Hit it.

[Mark Normand]

So they don't deliver the flowers to my girlfriend. So I had to call the guy and be like, hey, man, what the fuck? And he's was like, well, we saw you ordered it, so you can just forward her the email to show her you.

[Sam Morril]

That's hilarious.

[Mark Normand]

I was like, you think she wants a receipt, you idiot?

[Dan Soder]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

What a shy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. 1, 800 flowers. Don't mess with them, guys.

[Sam Morril]

You hear that?

[Joe List]

I just go, yeah, I got. Go local for that kind of stuff.

[Dan Soder]

I did. I went. I had 100 flowers and went local and felt pretty good about it a little bit.

[Mark Normand]

But you got to go local. You're right.

[Sam Morril]

I went local. My guy got deported. He's good on.

[Joe List]

He's on a plane with a dozen roses. Someone's gonna be real happy when you get back home.

[Sam Morril]

That Tom Holman guy is terrifying. You see that guy? He's like the ice head. No, he's just yelling at people.

[Dan Soder]

I don't follow the news.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, man. He's like, we're gonna come to your house, we're gonna pull you up by your hair and kick you in the pants. That guy, that guy. Look at that guy. Yeah, that's wild.

[Mark Normand]

He's got a caffer energy about.

[Sam Morril]

Yes. His paw stinks.

[Joe List]

Shut it down.

[Gary Veder]

This guy. Where they were like, aren't you gonna be separating families? He's like, no, they can take the.

[Sam Morril]

Whole family with them. Yes, that's ice in his veins.

[Joe List]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

Also that the.

[Dan Soder]

The amount that shirt sticking out of the suit collar is a. Whatever.

[Sam Morril]

Tough look.

[Mark Normand]

I can't believe we sprayed pepper spray in here thinking that would not be a stupid idea.

[Sam Morril]

Gel.

[Joe List]

Yeah, it was gel.

[Mark Normand]

That walk by is going to be rough.

[Sam Morril]

I know.

[Mark Normand]

It's gonna be bad.

[Sam Morril]

Well, Rachel's gonna be like, smells familiar.

[Joe List]

Speaking of Tafford, he's not doing the shows that much anymore.

[Dan Soder]

He subs them out.

[Joe List]

It's some other bozo.

[Sam Morril]

What?

[Joe List]

Yeah, guys. Not even wearing a bad blazer. Guest host somebody.

[Mark Normand]

I like taffer.

[Dan Soder]

He does 30% of them.

[Mark Normand]

Now, the episode he did for Puerto Rico, I was like, that's a decent guy right there.

[Dan Soder]

I really do like. I mean, he's. The show kind of stinks and stuff.

[Joe List]

He just makes you want to go to a casual dining restaurant, get the signature cocktail, some potato skins, and just sit down and drink and get up.

[Mark Normand]

One of the bartenders who always comes in, the star bartender, she's always frowning. The one who's just like this. Yeah, he's always in a bad mood.

[Joe List]

They always got like loops in and the hair.

[Dan Soder]

Their names are always in their.

[Joe List]

None of that works at a busy restaurant on a Friday night. Get out of here. It's like all that calendar was Johnny tips.

[Dan Soder]

And I'm like, that's. It's like a weatherman in la, dude.

[Mark Normand]

The bar is in the back of a trailer park. They're trying to teach him how to make a old fashioned, you know?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

To three bartenders who were on.

[Mark Normand]

You idiot.

[Joe List]

20 bags of stepped on Coke. That's how this bar is going to survive. All right?

[Sam Morril]

The best is the guy who tries to fight Taffer. You know, he's like, I've been running this business for 30 years. You're not going to come in and tell me how to do it. I got my daughter, she's pregnant. She's on the Fryer.

[Mark Normand]

You ever see the clip of Gordon Ramsay?

[Dan Soder]

I love.

[Mark Normand]

I've seen every episode, the Gordon Ramsay. And the guy goes at him like, get the out.

[Dan Soder]

The one that found the cockroach. And the guy's like, you planted that. He's like, what? You just walk in and there's a dead cockroach in the dining room? We've never had cockroaches.

[Mark Normand]

The guy kind of is acting black, too. For what? He's. I think so. Just click on it. I don't know. I don't know till I see it.

[Joe List]

What the fuck?

[Mark Normand]

This isn't the one. I mean, it could be good.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, British.

[Joe List]

British.

[Sam Morril]

Hello.

[Mark Normand]

Tell you what. I don't think you can actually cook.

[Dan Soder]

I can't tell if they're really mad.

[Mark Normand]

Come on. Yeah.

[Joe List]

Finish it, then.

[Dan Soder]

Finish what? What I'm about to say.

[Joe List]

Cook and muscle.

[Dan Soder]

That's the producer in them.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Keep it going, keep it going. Ramp it up.

[Mark Normand]

Find the other one. It's the guy who's like, you know, just wait.

[Joe List]

What I want to know is who was such a dick to Gordon Random Ramsay.

[Sam Morril]

Right?

[Dan Soder]

I mean, that's just like, what? That's just that industry, chef culture.

[Sam Morril]

Chefs.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Two British guys fighting.

[Mark Normand]

Sounds like that might be at the top. No.

[Joe List]

How dare you?

[Mark Normand]

No, the top one. The one I'm pointing to.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, this is the reality show?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. This is it. Yeah. This dude. This dude sucks.

[Dan Soder]

Peer pressure.

[Joe List]

What, you want a fucking medal? What do you want me to fucking say? What do you want me to say?

[Mark Normand]

They know who they fucking are. We chose as a group, and they.

[Joe List]

Stood out, and they said they belong there.

[Sam Morril]

Stand up.

[Joe List]

They know who they are.

[Sam Morril]

Uh. Oh.

[Mark Normand]

Listen, you chippy idiot. I have one nominee and why. Plain English. And you're mouthing off, and you couldn't answer me now can you just tell me in plain English, the first nominee and why he's nominated? Is that clear?

[Sam Morril]

That's clear.

[Joe List]

Thank you.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, O. Anyone else?

[Mark Normand]

Hard it levels up? I mean, that's. You got to go to the real.

[Joe List]

It's funny. He's so tough, but he makes the most delicate eggs.

[Mark Normand]

Okay, answer the question.

[Joe List]

We keep talking like this.

[Dan Soder]

Out in the parking lot. Out in the parking lot, kid questions.

[Mark Normand]

You give the answers. That dog want a jacket? Want to talk some? Let's go.

[Sam Morril]

Step outside.

[Joe List]

I ain't here for that dog. Oh, that fighting. Oh, wow. You want to get rough?

[Mark Normand]

Do you think I'm scared?

[Joe List]

No.

[Mark Normand]

You got two big security guys, right?

[Joe List]

You were a second ago.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, the cameras.

[Joe List]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Make sure they're rolling.

[Mark Normand]

I asked you one simple question, and you couldn't answer me. And then you want to get all tough and up close and personal.

[Dan Soder]

You. Yeah, you ain't on but a. Whoa.

[Sam Morril]

Take that. You lie me. Welcome to America.

[Dan Soder]

Really?

[Mark Normand]

It really is a difference in cooks between America and Britain.

[Sam Morril]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

You didn't execute your plan. You suck my dick, dumb.

[Sam Morril]

This guy's got to start a restaurant called you. I would eat there.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, take your clam. Shady.

[Sam Morril]

You dumb.

[Mark Normand]

That guy's awesome.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, he's set for life, that guy. I mean, I would eat there every day.

[Mark Normand]

He's applying to a restaurant job. Like, are you the guy that had the meltdown? Yeah, it was me. You.

[Joe List]

I start on Monday, kid.

[Sam Morril]

Here's your omelette dog.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Should we plug? Plug? Some dates you guys got coming up, Plug.

[Joe List]

We got the Route 66 special out now that we're gonna check that out.

[Dan Soder]

And then the Back on the block tour starting March 8th in Pontiac, Michigan. Then we're going all through the Midwest. Indy. A lot of them are sold out, but Indy, Madison, Milwaukee, Milwaukee, Minneapolis.

[Joe List]

Then in April, we got Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh.

[Dan Soder]

And Cleveland, and then we're taking the summer off.

[Sam Morril]

You guys prefer a club or you like. What do you guys do? Music venues.

[Joe List]

Funny you mentioned that. We cracked in the theaters a little bit.

[Sam Morril]

Hell, yeah.

[Joe List]

We like some of the theaters.

[Dan Soder]

Love the Wilbur theaters on a weekend. And if we're doing a week, and then the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday will be clubs.

[Sam Morril]

Good call.

[Mark Normand]

And you're on Punch up as well here.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, punch up. Shout out to Danny.

[Mark Normand]

Danny Franco, our buddy.

[Sam Morril]

Look at that. Cleveland. Sold out. Cleveland. Always coming through Cleveland's.

[Dan Soder]

We'll do the really good club like Cleveland Hilarities, one of the clubs.

[Joe List]

I love all those. Good Charlotte, Comedy Zone, Killbox.

[Sam Morril]

I love. Love that great room.

[Mark Normand]

That's a classic. Tough to get to that bathroom.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, yeah, that bathroom's tough.

[Joe List]

Bathroom's rough.

[Dan Soder]

But, yeah, we try to do the. The clubs that we really like and then theaters in the bigger cities.

[Sam Morril]

Hell, yeah. Yeah. All right, all right, all right.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, the den.

[Sam Morril]

When does this come out?

[Joe List]

The den theme.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, second. Got it.

[Dan Soder]

You're.

[Mark Normand]

You're building up, or you are. You're amping up the tape.

[Sam Morril]

I'm building up. I'm almost done with the hour, but I'm doing the Adam ray thing, the Dr. Phil in Chicago. So I said, fuck it. Let me go the night before and do the Den.

[Dan Soder]

Great. Great room.

[Sam Morril]

Great room.

[Mark Normand]

Classic.

[Sam Morril]

Love it. So I'll Be doing the Den. That's a. That'll. That'll be coming up. Might sell out Atlantis Casino in Reno, which is like Vegas's downsy, little brother. Oh, ye. Then we're at the Nashville, Ryman, Napa, Santa Barbara, Asheville, Bristol, Tennessee, New Brunswick, Ithaca, Reykjavik. Then we're going all the way to the UK and whatever that is. And, yeah, all kinds of stuff. Cardiff, Birmingham, London, Glasgow. That's where they stab you over there.

[Joe List]

There you go.

[Sam Morril]

Belfast, Rochester, Portchester, Albany. All the.

[Mark Normand]

I got a pizza wreck in Belfast.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, really?

[Dan Soder]

Really get it.

[Mark Normand]

No, no. Jared Free came on talking about this guy, too. He's awesome.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that's right.

[Mark Normand]

All right. Yeah, we got. Yeah, New Haven, Providence, Portsmouth. We added a late show there, baby. Love you guys. Portland, Maine, Burlington, Montreal, Toronto on a Tuesday. Come out, guys.

[Joe List]

There you go.

[Mark Normand]

We got Buffalo, Albany, Columbus. And then in April. Yeah. Columbus, Royal Oak, Grand Rapids, Milwaukee, Madison, Des Moines, Iowa. Never been in St. Louis. Yeah, you skipped past one there, buddy. Kansas City, Minneapolis, Phoenix is going hard. End of the year, Phoenix, another show. San Diego, Sack SF Masonic. Can't wait for that shit. Never played Portland. We just added a late show there. Seattle, that's a Monday, so please buy those. Scaring me. Seattle, the more the best. Vancouver, we just had a late show, too. Boise, Idaho, Salt Lake and Denver. Punch up.live Sam morale slash tickets. Samuel.com shows hours getting better, baby, baby. And we're having some fun while we're doing it. Got a hot show, so.

[Joe List]

You too, too, the best. We love you.

[Mark Normand]

We love you guys.

[Sam Morril]

Skipping Rhode Island?

[Dan Soder]

Hey, we're working on New England. Get the base tell this quick.

[Mark Normand]

And of course, you know to listen to their pods. I'm sure you already do. Are you garbage? The most fun pod.

[Sam Morril]

Hell yeah.

[Mark Normand]

This guy's great, isn't he?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, he's killer. You had Nate recently?

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

That's fun.

[Dan Soder]

He was great.

[Joe List]

Yeah, he was. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, yeah. I mean, he came in and, like, kind of broke the game. We were like. He just said yes to every question, like, have you done this? He's like, yeah, I do that.

[Sam Morril]

Jesus Christ, don't fart on him.

[Dan Soder]

That's all I've heard.

[Sam Morril]

He hasn't been back since.

[Mark Normand]

We'll broker a peace agreement.

[Sam Morril]

Yes. All right, boys. Thanks.

[Mark Normand]

Love you guys.

[Joe List]

Thank you so much. Thank you, everybody. Sunday's the day for my next bender. A bit of p. You know, the future's close. I've had a little too much burping, and Norman's talking about the Pope. And I get down in the the same way up on the roof like a cops coming and naked Samuel is feeling dangerous. I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans. This woman doesn't look like I remember her. And I get down in the same way we might be drunk.