Dan Soder

Summary

Podcast Summary: We Might Be Drunk – Episode Featuring Dan Soder

Title: We Might Be Drunk: Touring Tales and Stand-Up Struggles with Dan Soder
Hosts: Sam Morril and Mark Normand
Guest: Dan Soder
Release Date: February 24, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of We Might Be Drunk, hosts Sam Morril and Mark Normand are joined by comedian Dan Soder. The trio dives into the realities of life on tour, the ups and downs of stand-up comedy, memorable encounters with celebrities, and personal anecdotes that highlight the camaraderie and challenges within the comedy world.

Life on the Road

Tour Bus Chronicles

Dan Soder kicks off the discussion by sharing his sleepless nights on the tour bus, humorously recounting how excessive late-night conversations with fellow comics kept him wired. Sam Morril relates, emphasizing the difficulty of sleeping in such environments.

Dan Soder [00:17]: "I'm gonna be doing it pretty hard, but you can't sleep."

Sam Morril [01:10]: "It feels a little like college, where you're like, yeah, I'll get fucked up."

Party Atmosphere and Unexpected Opportunities

The conversation shifts to the party-like atmosphere on tour buses, comparing it to college life. Sam narrates an incident where he was unexpectedly invited to participate in a morning radio segment, showcasing the unpredictable nature of touring with Bert Kreischer.

Sam Morril [00:37]: "But then just five minutes later, Pete comes back and he goes, they're really asking for you."

Memorable Touring Anecdotes

Boat to the Casino Misadventure

Dan shares a hilarious story about joining a friend from OnlyFans on a boat trip to a casino in Hammond, Indiana. The group's decision to wear show outfits resulted in them getting soaked, leading to a comical struggle with their suede jackets and squishy shoes.

Dan Soder [02:22]: "It's just, like, we're soaked."

Sam Morril [02:39]: "We don't have to watch the whole..."

Interacting with Celebrities

Meeting Eddie Vedder

Sam recounts his encounter with Eddie Vedder during a Pearl Jam concert at the Ava Amphitheater in Tucson. Initially excited by their conversation about weather and everyday topics, Sam's attempt to take a picture with Vedder ultimately dampened the experience.

Sam Morril [17:04]: "I see his face, be like..."

Dan Soder [19:24]: "He doesn't. Every time Michelle Wolf's introduced me to other people, I just..."

Stand-Up Comedy Challenges

Bombing on Stage

Both hosts and Dan discuss their worst experiences bombing sets. Sam describes a particularly tough moment when a mass shooter joke fell flat, leaving him questioning his comedic choices amidst slow audience reactions.

Sam Morril [69:00]: "I was like, you're not funny."

Big Jay Oakerson [74:53]: "It's pure silence. So I could hear everything."

Heckling and Audience Interactions

Mark shares his infamous encounter with a heckler during a show at the Dayton Funny Bone, where rude interruptions left him speechless. Dan echoes similar sentiments, highlighting the difficulties of responding to aggressive audience members without escalating the situation.

Dan Soder [67:32]: "A woman walks out and goes, you fucking suck."

Big Jay Oakerson [69:38]: "That's true."

Personal Stories and Friendships

Bonding Over Comedy

The trio reflects on the importance of forming strong bonds within the comedy scene. Sam and Mark emphasize how shared experiences and a genuine love for comedy have solidified their friendships, allowing them to support each other through the highs and lows of touring.

Sam Morril [91:22]: "We had a very lucky experience. Our group naturally came together..."

Dan Soder [91:55]: "We all gave a shit. And I think that really brought us together."

Dealing with Stress and Substance Use

Discussions about coping mechanisms on tour surface, with Sam and Mark addressing their use of substances like weed to relax before sets. They candidly talk about the pros and cons of performing under the influence, sharing personal stories of both successful and challenging experiences.

Sam Morril [51:17]: "Punchlines are like, when you... weed kind of helps me be like, oh, I never thought about it from that angle."

Big Jay Oakerson [52:11]: "I like to get high before I go on stage because when I riff, I'm more likely to say something that'll make me laugh."

Upcoming Shows and Tours

As the episode wraps up, the hosts and Dan share their upcoming tour dates and special appearances. From New York to the West Coast, they discuss their excitement for performing in various cities and the continuous journey of bringing their comedy to diverse audiences.

Dan Soder [97:00]: "We're going hard. Burlington, Vermont, Montreal, Toronto..."

Sam Morril [98:07]: "I'm doing the Flynn in Burlington, too."

Conclusion

We Might Be Drunk with Dan Soder offers a raw and humorous glimpse into the life of touring comedians. From battling sleepless nights and memorable mishaps on the road to navigating the complexities of performance and audience interactions, Sam, Mark, and Dan provide an engaging and relatable narrative for listeners who haven't had the chance to tune in.

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Notable Quotes:

• Dan Soder [00:17]: "I'm gonna be doing it pretty hard, but you can't sleep."
• Sam Morril [01:10]: "It feels a little like college, where you're like, yeah, I'll get fucked up."
• Sam Morril [17:04]: "I see his face, be like..."
• Dan Soder [19:24]: "He doesn't. Every time Michelle Wolf's introduced me to other people, I just..."
• Sam Morril [69:00]: "I was like, you're not funny."
• Dan Soder [67:32]: "A woman walks out and goes, you fucking suck."
• Sam Morril [91:22]: "We had a very lucky experience. Our group naturally came together..."
• Sam Morril [51:17]: "Punchlines are like, when you... weed kind of helps me be like, oh, I never thought about it from that angle."
• Big Jay Oakerson [52:11]: "I like to get high before I go on stage because when I riff, I'm more likely to say something that'll make me laugh."

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This comprehensive summary encapsulates the key discussions, insights, and humorous exchanges from the episode, providing an engaging overview for those who haven't listened to the full podcast.

Transcript

[Dan Soder]

All right, let's. Wow, that's a rare Norman. Miss, are we rolling? Joined by Dan Soder here talking tour bussing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey. Hey.

[Sam Morril]

You're gonna be doing it.

[Dan Soder]

I'm gonna be doing it pretty hard, but.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You can't sleep. I couldn't sleep when I was with you and Jay and Bert because Burt would just talk till, like, 4:00am and I'd be like, wired.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It's like a sleepover.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Are you up? Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But comics need a little recharge. Downtime. That bus, you wake up, they're like, how you feel today, big guy?

[Sam Morril]

The best is. I was. I. I think I finally. I would, like, sleep in patches on the bus. I was telling Sam I'm not a good sleeper on tour buses. And then one time, the whole curtain just opened. And Peter, who rules Bert's assistant, was like, hey, they're doing morning radio, and they want you to come up. And I was like, no. And then just five minutes later, Pete comes back and he goes, they're really asking for you. All right. But then it ended up being fun because you get up. Here's the thing about it. Here's the thing about going on the road with Bert is when you get up, it is partying. So it feels a little like college, where you're like, yeah, I'll get fucked up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Like, he was like, bring a joint with you. You could smoke in the studio. And I was like, I never get this opportunity by myself.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And it's shit you would never do on your own. If you were in a hotel in Poughkeepsie, be like, fuck that. But with Bert, you're like, I'll get on a fishing boat and catch a fucking squid.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. We went to the Ozarks when we were in Missouri, and I was like, this actually very fun.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

What'd you do in the ozone?

[Sam Morril]

We just swam. We just went to the water and swam, and it was great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We got that great shot of us with the little shark we caught.

[Sam Morril]

And I'm fucking squeezing the shit out of it because the guy was like, squeeze it. And then everyone was like, soda, you're squeezing it too hard. I was like, going anywhere? Yeah. I don't have the manliness of me to know how to squeeze something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Sam Morril]

I didn't grow up with a dad, so I just go like, it's either too much or too little, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then Big J's out there in jean shorts and, like, a Phillies jersey.

[Sam Morril]

Well, I told him. I was like, you should wear. You shouldn't wear your shoes. He was gonna wear his, like, good shoes. And I was like, we're getting on a boat. And then the second the water started coming over, he's like, thank God. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And you're like, yeah, that happened to me. Me, Chrissy and Nimesh did a gig in Chicago, and this guy from Only Fans was like, come on my boat. And we're like, all right, so we just go on a boat. And we all stupidly were like, we'll just take. We should take the boat to the casino.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that sounds great.

[Dan Soder]

It's in, like, Hammond, Indiana. Like, we could take. He's like, I get to get you there in the boat. And we're like, that's a great idea. He starts going, we're in our show outfit. And it's just.

[Sam Morril]

Just getting. So you went on that. You went in your show outfit.

[Dan Soder]

He's like, I'll take you to the venue. So we figured we had to buy boat.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

By boat. We thought like, this is going to be badass. And then we were soaked and we're.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And I'm like, this is the one night I'm going to wear a suede jacket. God damn it. And we like, pull over. Pull over. So he did dock us, and we had like a cab. Just soaked.

[Sam Morril]

Squishy shoes.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, they were squishy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It sounds like a joke. A Jew, an Indian, and an Italian.

[Sam Morril]

Sound like he was trying to get rid of them. He goes, I can get rid of three of them right now. There won't be a problem.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Remember the kid who lived in a houseboat? There was always a guy who lived in a houseboat.

[Dan Soder]

When I was in New York City.

[Sam Morril]

I guess, and I. I grew up landlocked in Colorado. Unless he lived on the Cherry Creek.

[Dan Soder]

Reservoir, this is a real bayou up.

[Sam Morril]

Because you guys remember. You guys remember how everyone got a fan boat when they were 15? And you're like, no.

[Dan Soder]

Remember chasing gators on the water?

[Sam Morril]

You remember when a gator will crawl in. In the. And you'd have gator and eggs. Never had.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Go out and get the P. Rogue. Get some crawdad.

[Sam Morril]

What? He lived on a.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There was always a guy who lived in a boat as a kid.

[Sam Morril]

Now I'll tell you the high plains white trash version, which is a 16 year old that gets his own apartment because he's, like, not living with his parents.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

That feels like, so awesome, dude. It is awesome.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's the best.

[Sam Morril]

You could go over there and just, like, smoke cigarettes. That's what I Always want. I was like, it's 22.

[Dan Soder]

It's pretty sad. But at 16, you're like, this kid's a fucking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

16, though, means something really bad happened. If you're living by yourself at 16 or 17, nothing great happens.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A good point.

[Sam Morril]

They weren't like, you know what? You got all A's. You're to live by yourself.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it's. Dad's in jail.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We feel bad.

[Sam Morril]

Mom's boyfriend gets a little handsy. Yeah, I got to go. I got to go live in, you know, whatever apartment complex was close by, like. Like the cherry knoll or something. It was always. That's the Colorado names were always, like, named after creek beds or something, and.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was a bunch of old. And your friend.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, it's great. It was great. But a houseboat is wild.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Houseboat was big. I mean, it was free. You could just get up and fish and go out, and you would go to school in the houseboat. It was great.

[Sam Morril]

What, do you dock it? Yeah, at school.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dock it. Put the book bag on.

[Dan Soder]

Houseboat is cool. If you're Tony Soprano and it's like your second thing. It's not great if it's your primary resident.

[Sam Morril]

Unless you're a disgraced detective.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, that's really good at fucking wreck John McDonald books. Dude in Florida noir.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, there you go.

[Sam Morril]

You love your noir.

[Dan Soder]

I love my dude, but it's got. The detective who solves the case. Is on the boat is kind of badass.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Because you're just, you know, you're down in the dumps a little bit.

[Sam Morril]

It's the romantic thing of a physical manifestation of you being down is like living on a boat. You want the Lethal weapon guitar lick playing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

You just got dumped.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. No, no, no. Your wife has to die.

[Dan Soder]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

There can't be, like, walking around telling lies about you.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, here we go. Who.

[Sam Morril]

Who.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who creates that? Does that guy gets a paycheck every time that lick hits.

[Sam Morril]

Oh. Oh, I don't know, but that's how Hollywood. Like, this is my problem with celebrities doing commercials is you're robbing a whole group of people that used to make their living.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

This is it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is the kid waking up.

[Dan Soder]

Why do you have to blow up my wife?

[Sam Morril]

But for. For our gay asses, it's like this. It's like that new one didn' that crowd work riff was going to be a lot funnier.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That fat chick in the condo doesn't fuck.

[Sam Morril]

First date, that waitress said she didn't have a Husband, but she did.

[Dan Soder]

I think Joe derosa jacked off in this condo bed last.

[Sam Morril]

How does Piff the Magic Dragon sell so much merch?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is Fluffy fat, or is he actually fluffy?

[Sam Morril]

How is. He's not fluffy anymore if he's skinny?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How do I get a river?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where did Matt Rife buy that head pee, man?

[Dan Soder]

You see his promo with Billy Idol. It's pretty fun, no?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Billy Idol, it's kind of cool. Pull it up.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, dude. I mean, when you get that famous, I think calling in favors like us getting someone that famous for a promo is a huge deal.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I think this is better for Billy Idol Idol's career.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's true. Whoa. White mocha. Cheers. Yeah, it's a nice day for a white mocha. Oh, shit.

[Dan Soder]

Kind of fun.

[Sam Morril]

It's fun. Shot beautifully.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

All right. We got it, though. That's. That's the gist of it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nice cheese stash. I'm selling, you sink.

[Sam Morril]

All right.

[Dan Soder]

We don't have to watch the whole.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, good.

[Dan Soder]

We were on a good momentum thing with that. I really derailed us there.

[Sam Morril]

Well, you made a whole movie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jesus. I know.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. This uncut. There's like three hours.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like an 824 commercial.

[Sam Morril]

Like the brutalist we made fun of. We made fun of it on the bonfire years ago, but there used to be a thing called Billy Idol wanted you to stop idling in New York City. Do you remember those?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Sam Morril]

He was like, I'm Billy Idle. Stop idling your car. And you're like, what the fuck? So this is way better. I'm happy to see he's working his way up.

[Dan Soder]

I miss New York taxi cab things. And this might be before you guys came to New York, but they used to do a thing where they'd be like, this is Paul O'Neill from the New York Yankees. Buckle up for safety.

[Sam Morril]

Great.

[Dan Soder]

This is Dr. Ruth. It would just be any celebrity.

[Sam Morril]

You know what my favorite one was at dia when you get on the train and it goes like. It'd be like, this is Peyton Manning.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Welcome to Denver. The one that always made me laugh was Andrew Luck in Indianapolis. The former Colts quarterback because he has my voice. So he'd be like, hey, this is Andrew Luck. Thanks for coming to Indianapolis. That's me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's fun. Is it a win or a lose? When it's like. Like, billy Idol, don't. Idol.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that a win? Like, hey, my song got picked. It all worked out, or are you like, I'm that guy now, because Sting had a deodorant commercial and said, don't stand, don't stand. So. And I'm sure he made a shit ton of money, but I'm like, now you're the deodorant guy.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. But then he shows you his houseboat.

[Dan Soder]

Right?

[Sam Morril]

That was the Billy. That was the Billy Idol. Don't Idol.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right, right.

[Dan Soder]

The commercial. So I don't, I don't know.

[Sam Morril]

It was like, really quick, but it. Yeah, dude, that's when you get asked to do a commercial like that, the money better be.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

He got paid every day from Diddy. From doing I'll be missing you.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, Sting did.

[Dan Soder]

So he hurts from Diddy going to prison, I guess.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Good point.

[Dan Soder]

Diddy going bankrupt is bad for him.

[Sam Morril]

That's. He's a character witness.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Please.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I thought about.

[Dan Soder]

He always seemed nice to me.

[Sam Morril]

He's like, I taught him tantric sex, so he didn't bust in any of those kids. So is it sex?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, it's got to be crazy surreal. As an aging musician, when you call up customer service and you hear your phone, your song on the whole.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, and you're like, oh, man. White Wedding.

[Sam Morril]

You know what made me feel old as fuck flying into Seattle. They played Soundgarden at the baggage claim. And you're like, we're cooked. If you're from, if you're Elder Gen, Elder Millennial or Gen X. We're fucking. We're. We're old.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right, Spoon Man.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it was, it was like, I forget what I think it was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That band kicks ass.

[Sam Morril]

But, I mean, they're the best. I. It was really funny to be, like, waiting for my bag, and it was like, my way, my wave, my way. And you're like, oh, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, because party. Like, here we. I'm old. Damn.

[Dan Soder]

Elevator once. Elevator music is the. You grew up with.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that's what we're at.

[Dan Soder]

It's like a really swanky hotel, maybe, and they're just trying to be hip. But then, even then.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But it does hurt, you know, at a houseboat. Pull this up. Kelsey Grammer.

[Dan Soder]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Joe, I, I, this is just a theory. Well, it's not a theory. His ex wife was on the Real Housewives or whatever, and she's like, crazy hot. Back in the day, she was like an MTV Spring break girl, which makes me think Frasier was getting some crazy pussy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Kelsey Grammer.

[Sam Morril]

He's like, hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling why don't you come suck me off?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like I'll toss your salad and have some scramble eggs.

[Sam Morril]

He ate my ass. And then he would make me watch him eat eggs.

[Dan Soder]

Coming in, double team.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. He goes, niles friend, what if we have a little menage trois?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Apparently he's a raging alcoholic.

[Sam Morril]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Really tragic childhood.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Mm.

[Sam Morril]

Like, isn't that weird when you. You were like, oh, I never expected Frasier Crane to have.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look at this. This resume of poon.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, he was on. He was on drugs those whole first few seasons. So if you rewatch them, it's insane how good he is because he's literally sticking the landing on these like crazy act outs and he's high out of his fucking mind. Which, you know, that's like when you.

[Sam Morril]

Find out Stephen King wrote a whole book and he doesn't remember it because he was all fucked up.

[Dan Soder]

Babe Ruth just eating sausages and.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

That breakfast.

[Dan Soder]

Smoking. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

What was that Babe Ruth breakfast like.

[Dan Soder]

Steak and eggs with sausage. Yeah, Everything.

[Sam Morril]

And then he's just. He's just taking them deep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They say it was half black.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, well, maybe he knew maybe half black. That's really. Maybe he knew that. He's like, ain't. No. He's like, white guys ain't gonna pitch to me like this. We get drunk and get the meat sweats.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Was he before. He was before Jackie.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yo.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

No, he was playing just against white guys.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, well, there you go.

[Dan Soder]

That's why a lot of the, you know, a lot of the baseball people be like, is he right? No real competition.

[Sam Morril]

That was a great line that Colin had in Train Wreck in Schumer's Rumor. He's like a 12 year old Dominican. Would have fucking taken Babe Ruth yard.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right?

[Sam Morril]

And you're like, yeah, you're right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Baseball was everything back then, dude.

[Dan Soder]

That was. That team was fucking Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig back to back.

[Sam Morril]

Also what sucks is Lou Gehrig got a horrible disease in the time when science was like, oh, yeah. Was like back. Science was just bad. And they're like, well, Lou, we're gonna name it after you. And he's like, it's horrible.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. It's not a sandwich in a deli.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You know, he was like dropping this really sad part of his book where he's just like, drop. He can't rip. He's dropping stuff. And young Joe DiMaggio is just next to him and he's just like, that's his hero. Watch him not be able. And they both just like cried. Jeez. Fucking dark moment.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like, when you meet Jackie Mason, you're like, ah, you're a dick. You're, like, bumming me out.

[Dan Soder]

You do a Jackie Mason?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I assume you do.

[Sam Morril]

No, I do a Rodney Dangerfield. Hey, you make your choices in life. Are you a Dangerfield or are you a Mason?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, good question.

[Dan Soder]

Did you do Buddy Hackett?

[Sam Morril]

No, Dangerfield. I just grew up watching, so that's how I learned how to do it.

[Dan Soder]

He was the best.

[Sam Morril]

I was, like, obsessed with him. Like, everything from, like, the movie where he's the dog.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Rover Dangerfield to Ladybugs. But then when my dad let me watch the, like, actual, like, you know, the Caddyshack Back to School was huge. Like, when I got to watch Back to School with my dad and I popped because the bad guys were Billy Zabka. The bad guy from Karate Kid.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

So when by, like, I was so young that I was like, that's. That's Johnny from Karate Kid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

I just loved it.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Dean Martin. That always made me laugh.

[Dan Soder]

Great actor. Ned Beatty.

[Sam Morril]

Great actor. Ned Beatty had to play the dude.

[Dan Soder]

In Deliverance that got.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Anally rape.

[Sam Morril]

I want to know what the.

[Dan Soder]

Play that role.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I want to know what the story is with Kinison getting the role as the professor back to School. Because that was back in the day when a comic was getting famous. Another, like, what Eddie Murphy did with Chris Rock and Beverly Hills Cop 2. Rodney kind of did with Kinison in Back to School.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Definitely. I'm sure he. Because it was right after the Young Comedian special. So he probably was like, get up here.

[Sam Morril]

And I love it. Because they do that thing about Vietnam. He's like, that's right. Tell him. What, you say it again. Yeah. This scene is like, history is just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's just information about the past. But not me. I mean, I hold history very sacred.

[Sam Morril]

Sacred.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The way the farmer looks at the earth and he holds it sacred. The way a Christian takes the Bible and he holds it sacred.

[Sam Morril]

The way a lot of people hold their marriage sacred. Rodney's listening face is funny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why don't we dive right in by interpreting one of the easiest events in the last 20 years of American history?

[Dan Soder]

I love one of the easiest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why in 1975, we pulled our troops out of Vietnam.

[Dan Soder]

The failure of Vietnamization to win popular.

[Sam Morril]

Support caused an ongoing erosion of confidence in the various American but illegal Saigon regimes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is she right?

[Sam Morril]

It's so funny. You could, like, see him getting mad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's good. I know a lot of people like to believe that. I wish I could, but I was there. I wasn't here in the classroom, hoping I was right. Thinking about it, I was up to my knees in rice patties with guns.

[Dan Soder]

And inward going up against Charlie, slocking.

[Sam Morril]

It out with him while pussies like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Putting headbands on the goddamn Beatle albums.

[Sam Morril]

Hey, professor, take it easy, will you? I mean, these kids, they were in grade school at the time. And me, I'm not a fighter. I'm a lover.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ah, come on.

[Dan Soder]

Today, like, what. What comic gets Tim Dillon.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, Tim Dylan. 100% would have gotten the Kinston roll. Great call, because Tim. Tim is so funny. He could have been it into, like a fucked up ranting. A rant where you go, it's funny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Like, no matter what he's saying, it's funny. That's a great call.

[Dan Soder]

That being said, please don't remake this movie.

[Sam Morril]

No, don't. Stop.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, do it with Matt Rife.

[Sam Morril]

Stop. He's like, we're all gonna get laid. And I mean it, because all I've been doing is getting laid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, poor Ned.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, Ned Beatty just getting fucked.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Every bar he went into after that, some guy got behind and went, hey, what's up?

[Sam Morril]

Or they.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, that's a rough audition to just one dude after another.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Squeal like a pig.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, and that. I bet. I wonder how many fist fights Ned Beatty got into.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

Because some drunk idiot told him to squeal like a pig.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right?

[Sam Morril]

He's like, hey, I'm with my family. We're at a nice dinner.

[Dan Soder]

It was a movie.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, because people don't know how to separate.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it's. It's. I'm Rick James, bitch.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, Disneyland, man.

[Sam Morril]

That was the biggest bummer. I got to see Chappelle when he came back from Africa in 2004.

[Dan Soder]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

At the Ava Amphitheater in Tucson. And I spent, like. I had no money. And I spent like, $90. That's a fuller money.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's a lot of dough.

[Sam Morril]

In 2004, I spent $90 to my friend Tank. Shout out Tank. He ran, like, the people for the Ava Amphitheater. And he's like, I can get you a really good seat. Chappelle's my guy. So I was like, he's back from Africa. I fucking can't wait. I was so excited for the new. I fucking smoked a joint. I walked in, I sat down, and he started. Great bit about white guys on meth fighting a group of black guys. A bit he's never done on a special. It's very, very funny. He's like, you should never fight a white guy that's shirtless and jean shorts with grease all over his chest. Something's happening with him. And he, like, does a whole thing about how they beat him up and it doesn't work. And I was like, on cloud nine. And then it just started. People going like, crack. I'm Rick J. Bitch. I'm Rick James. And then people were going, this was the worst. He'd be setting up a bit, and they just go, yeah. And he'd be like, all right, all right. And you saw him go, like, okay, all right. Like, all right. It just sucked. I was so mad. I was doing the white guy thing where you look behind you, like, at a movie when black people are talking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm not gonna say anything, but I'll.

[Sam Morril]

Look, but I'm mad. Just know I'm getting huffy.

[Dan Soder]

I will write a negative review of this, even though it's not the theater's fault.

[Sam Morril]

It's not. We know that. It's not the theater's fau. He had a great line, though, at one point, this. He was, like, doing a joke, and this lady was like, dave, for president. He goes, president? I can't even do three seasons on cable. He goes, you would get to the second year of my administration, and they'd be like, the president has left simply with a note on his desk that said, fuck it, right? And he, like. I saw him riff that. So for me, it was like. He said, it was. I had my first joke book on me. He signed my first joke book.

[Dan Soder]

How'd you meet him? You just waited.

[Sam Morril]

He. People were yelling for him after the show. And then I just, like, went and was like, who. You signed this? Will you sign this? And he signed it, and he kept my pen. And I was like, can I get my pen back? But, yeah, I have that joke book somewhere.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's funny. Like, I saw Carlin. I saw a sign.

[Sam Morril]

That's great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Young. And I remember everything. It's. You remember everything. Everything's like, they're in front of me. Holy shit, I remember.

[Dan Soder]

David, tell Playbill from the. From Carol.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There you go.

[Sam Morril]

That's.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I still have it.

[Sam Morril]

It's crazy. And then you, like. You just know him now, and you're like, I don't know Chappelle, but, like, Colin Quinn.

[Dan Soder]

All right.

[Sam Morril]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I bet he does now.

[Sam Morril]

I've been introduced to him at least four times.

[Dan Soder]

And you're like, do you remember one night, the seller. It was like, years, years.

[Sam Morril]

I Was blacked out drunk.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. It was probably like eight or ten years ago or something. And Dan sitting, talking to him at the Cellar. And then you went on stage and I sat down right after you, and he just looked up at me. He goes, it was great talking to you. Oh, he thought I was you.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, really?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's great.

[Dan Soder]

I've talked to him, like, since then, and he's been really cool.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah. He doesn't. Every time Michelle Wolf's introduced me other people, I just, like. I don't. I don't want to push it. I feel that way about, like, a lot of celebrities that I like. If I really enjoy somebody's stuff, I'm not pushing the meetup.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. Never push.

[Sam Morril]

Like, Josh Homme from Queens of the Stone Age is my favorite musician of all time. He's kind of been around, like, Bill Burr opens for him sometimes. I'll never push that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. And it'll happen eventually.

[Sam Morril]

If it does, it does. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I think there's nothing wrong with this idea that you have to be friends with every person you like. You can just be a fan.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's true.

[Sam Morril]

And being a fan sometimes is very valuable.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Better.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Because you're just like, you know, I.

[Dan Soder]

Never met Ned Beatty because I think I would have tried to rape him.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I would have gone, I hate to say this, but square like a pig. Could you square like a pig? He goes, God damn it. I ruined it with Eddie Vedder. I went, what? Yeah, I went to. I'm. You know, I'm not a huge Pearl Jam fan, but we did. We did Bonnaroo in 2015, and, oh, yeah, it didn't go well for me because I brought a girlfriend and didn't really go. The best.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I remember that.

[Sam Morril]

Didn't have the greatest time. So Ari Shafir was, like, that bad.

[Dan Soder]

Or was it just the girlfriend?

[Sam Morril]

Sets were bad. It was just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was clingy. Don't go with your friends. Come with me. It was your friend. We couldn't. Never saw him.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. It was one of those things where. And Ari being the secret mensch that he is, because he'll never be loud about this. Yeah. And then she was never heard of again. Only some teeth were found in a lake. But he was like, dude, let's go back 2016. He was like, you know, obviously you can't get booked. But he worked a deal out with Rocky, who had booked comedy, and he's like, we're gonna do a secret show two in the morning. And it'll be me, you, Sean Patton, and Jack Knight. That was, like, the show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nice.

[Sam Morril]

And I was like, great. And he's like, I got an rv. We can stay there. And we've got wristbands and food. Tickets didn't get paid, but it was awesome.

[Dan Soder]

Awesome.

[Sam Morril]

So I went that year. It was like, Judd Apatow, Pete Davidson, Nate Bargettsi, a couple other people were at the comedy tent. So people we knew.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Specifically Pete and Nate. And, like, I'm hanging out with Nate. And then Eddie Vedder. Pearl Jam was headlining. Eddie Vedder's friends with Judd Apatow. So he came to the comedy tent.

[Dan Soder]

Whoa.

[Sam Morril]

And we were just sitting outside talking, and I was having a great conversation with him. We were just, like, talking about weather and humidity and, like, Hawaii versus Chicago. All the.

[Dan Soder]

Like, that's a great conversation. We're talking about the weather.

[Sam Morril]

It was. But I'm telling you right now, we were locked in. We were having a good combo. And I know he knows that, but.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He'S sick of talking about Pearl Jam.

[Sam Morril]

That's exactly it. And watching everyone suck his dick around him. Like, you're so amazing. You changed my life. And I was like, fuck this Tennessee heat. And he's like, brother, you're telling me. And then we went into it, and he was smoking a cigarette, and I was, like, smoking a joint. We're just, like, having a fucking hang.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And then they were like, eddie, they're. They're gonna take you. And I went, hey, man, do you mind if I get a picture? And it ruined it. It's just, like, you could just see his face, be like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, damn.

[Dan Soder]

You went from, like, a peer to a fan.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. And that's why I was like, I don't think if I would have done that again, I wouldn't have taken a picture.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that it?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, well, you got it.

[Dan Soder]

It wasn't worth it.

[Sam Morril]

Wasn't worth it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really? But you have that forever.

[Sam Morril]

Look how high I am.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, man. You look high.

[Sam Morril]

I am ripped.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're like the sham wow Guy.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. And I just lost a bunch of weight, so I was wearing these tight T shirts. I was like, oh, I could finally wear tight T shirts.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's disgusting that. That's nine years ago.

[Sam Morril]

I know. That's wild.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yikes.

[Sam Morril]

And then when I did. Here's why, I also felt bad. Get it out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sorry.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, dude. I felt it rumble in my hand. What sucks is everyone else started asking for pictures after I did it, so that even. It ruined it even more. There Was like, five other people that wanted a picture.

[Dan Soder]

And you're like, you were the Katrina floodgate.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You were the Levy.

[Sam Morril]

The levies broke.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What was that Louis story? You had that funny Louie back in the day? Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I am just now on go ground with Louis, and I have not told him this story, but it's. It was an infamous one in our group of friends, so. Remember Comedy Village? The old Boston?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Boston on Third Street a little bit.

[Sam Morril]

It was on Third Street.

[Dan Soder]

It wasn't CBs.

[Sam Morril]

No, no. CBs. Was McDougal.

[Dan Soder]

So it was, like, that way.

[Sam Morril]

Like, it was on West 3rd. It was next to Il Molino.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

The firehouse.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. And then became, like, Zinc Bar. Yes, I know.

[Sam Morril]

And so it was the Comedy Village in. In the West Village. The old Boston. It was the old Boston Comedy Club. And I used to bark Monday nights. There was, like, a show there that this lady Daniella put on, and I would bark, and List would host.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, all right.

[Sam Morril]

This was like, when we first started hanging out. It was 2007, 2008. And we'd drink a lot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Christy the waitress would, like, feed us shots that we couldn't afford. So you'd do, like, a double shot of Jameson. And then my barking got real good. You're out there like, what are you doing? You want to talk?

[Dan Soder]

The legend of the Drunken Barker.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, But I found out at the. When I was barking, I found out it was, like, a cheat code. I could sit in the front of the place and smoke cigarettes and just hang out with all the comics. Like, when it was warm out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Everyone would just hang out front, and I could just, like, chill and hang out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was it Voss and Keith and Norton.

[Sam Morril]

But it was Monday nights, so it was like, Norton would come around you back. But it was like, me, Lips, Ira Proctor, Dan Bolger.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

Like, you were. You'd come around sometimes a little bit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But once in a while. And then it was like, Matt Ruby, and a bunch of people would be there just kind of hanging out. And List was opening for Depaulo. And List was like, I got to go around to the cellar. DePaul's there. I got to get my check from last weekend. And I was like, great. And he comes back like he was hosting, so he, like, ran back out of breath, and he's like, louie's there. He's like, louie's there. And Louie was working on Chewed Up. So it was like he was building Chewed Up. And he's like, lou, go tell him we got a show. Working. There was like, maybe eight people.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And he's like, go tell him we got a show working. And I was like, okay. Way out of my.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, I'm gonna tell him at the well.

[Sam Morril]

I was like. And he's like, you better go, boy. Go get him. And I went over there and Shaq, rip. Shaq, the bouncer from the cellar. Big J introduced me to him, so he was the only person I knew, really on the staff at that point.

[Dan Soder]

Gentle giant.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, dude, the best. Shaq was the best. And I was like, shaq, can I go watch Louis set? Is he on right now? And Shaq was like, yeah, he's on stage. I'll. I'll let you in. So he, like, walked me downstairs. I watched the back half of Louis set from the hallway. Yeah, he got off. And I was drunk. I was like. I was pretty drunk. Oh, yeah, we've been drinking shots.

[Dan Soder]

It's just a bad combo of drunk, excited, nervous. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And. And your idol is like one of your. One of the comedy gods gets off stage.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And I was like, he got off stage. And I was like, great, great set, Louis. And he's like, thanks, man. And I was like, the Village is working. And he goes, what? And I go, the Village is working. He goes, I. I don't know. And I go, the Village is working. Like, three times, I think.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

He, like, looks at me in, like, a very Louis way of like, like. And I go, I don't know what I'm talking about. He goes, neither do I. And then he just turned around and walked up the steps, and that was it. And, dude, I came back. This is. This is something that's burned in my brain. This is something. Because Joe is so animated, like, stuff. And I'm walking down West 3rd and I'm coming to the thing, and he's going like this. He's going.

[Dan Soder]

You know that list.

[Sam Morril]

He goes, what are you saying? Woo. He goes, is Louie coming? Is Louie coming? And I. I told him the Village is working. And he goes, what? I told him the Village is working, and let's think through that. And he goes, we're in the Village. And I go, I know. I just tried to sound cool. Doesn't make any sense. And that was it. And then anytime Lou would come around. I mean, I quit drinking, but anytime Lou would come around, I'd be like, ah, fuck.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Well, we've all had the. You know, my famous one with Louis, where I'm opening for him, we're having a good time, hanging out in his hotel room. I'm sitting on his bed. He's at the desk. List is in a chair. I think Wolf was there. Somebody else. And I thought it'd be funny to rip a huge fart.

[Sam Morril]

Oh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And he flipped. He's like, what the fuck was that? I was like, you're Louie. You're like the fart jerk off guy. Like, what do you care? And he's like, you're on my bed.

[Dan Soder]

We've been through this too, where, like on the Daily show, there's a clip of him being like, yes, farts, you're an asshole.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Mark literally got this. Sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Dan Soder]

Do you want to tell us what.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You did last Wednesday?

[Sam Morril]

No, what did I do?

[Dan Soder]

You did this show with Lou.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I did a show with Louis. Yeah. I've, like, done it because of List. I've done a couple shows with Louis. Have not brought up the Villages working.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Sam Morril]

I'm surprised List hasn't brought up the Villages.

[Dan Soder]

I think you would find it funny at this point.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I think you would go like, oh, well, you're retarded. Yeah, I was. I was being stupid. I was being like. I was just so excited.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, of course.

[Sam Morril]

It was like. And you don't know what to say.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It's almost like you're hitting on a beautiful woman. It is where you're like, I want to make you feel good.

[Dan Soder]

Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like the Eddie Vedder. You talked about the weather. You didn' you're so pretty. You were like, hey, it's cold out. You know? But then you got the number at the end. I did.

[Dan Soder]

Where I was like, almost just jerk off before you talk to Louie.

[Sam Morril]

Empty the tank.

[Dan Soder]

I don't care anymore.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, you go, oh, you're here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, sorry.

[Sam Morril]

I want to talk to Dan Natterman. Get out of my way.

[Dan Soder]

You're nothing to me now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jerking off before you meet Louie is ironic.

[Sam Morril]

It. Yeah. That was like, one of those things where we were coming up where I.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was like, fuck, we've all had them.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Have you had one?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I've had a few. Well, yeah, I had one with Louis I'd rather not mention.

[Sam Morril]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

But I have. I remember I was on Conan once, and Luke Wilson just. I was just hammered afterwards.

[Sam Morril]

I was like, did you get excited?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, you know, I had a few. I had a couple whiskeys before I went on, and I'm in the green room and Luke Wilson, you know, came back. Super nice guy. He's like, I'm going to keep my eye on you never saw him again, of course. But in the moment, you're like, oh, cool.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And I was drunk, so I was like, fucking Royal Tenenbaums and Rushmore hall of Fame. And I think I said, royal Tenenbaums in old school. You're in the hall of fame for those two. And he was like, okay.

[Sam Morril]

Okay is never good. I was like, meeting someone and them going, okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But they do forget when I first met Seinfeld at the creek to go see Colin Quinn's one man when he was running it back.

[Sam Morril]

Unconstitutional.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes. And Seinfeld's front row because he was directing it or producing it, something. And I went up to. And I went. I was such a retard drunk, you know, 22 year old. And I was like, you know, I'm the master of my domain. And he just went, oh, yeah, he.

[Sam Morril]

Gave you his bag.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He gave me the bag. I'm sure he's heard that 9 million times. Ned Beatty, ass rape, quality.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, the master of my domain. Yeah, you're right. You are hitting that one way too late.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I might as well have gone up and gone.

[Sam Morril]

He's like, what is that? What are you doing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's the deal?

[Sam Morril]

Why are you quoting an old episode? Stop.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What did I think was gonna happen? He'd go, oh, shit.

[Sam Morril]

No one does that.

[Dan Soder]

We should hang out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We should hang.

[Sam Morril]

It's funny to watch our friends start to get that now. Like, Shane gets people being like, he's making them at night. And Shane's like, but every time I see that, I don't ever judge, because I just think of me going, the village is working.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Like, anytime I see someone, Shane going, I'm a dog. Shane.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right?

[Sam Morril]

I'm making him at night. And he's like, all right. I'm like, I get it, buddy. 20 years, you're going to regret that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. What can you say? Because you want to show. You know them, but you don't want to. I don't know. You got one opportunity. What do you say?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I don't. That's got to suck.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's tough. You want to kill it, you got.

[Sam Morril]

To be like, okay about it, right?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, that's a fan. You have to be nice to someone who is supporting your stuff.

[Sam Morril]

The coolest one I ever got was a Billions fan. It was after the end of, like, season three where I turn on Bobby Axelrod. I, like, leave the company or whatever. And I was walking to Sirius xm and this old black dude goes, can't believe you did that, man. And I had my earbuds in, and I went, what's up? And he goes, why'd you do that? And I went, why did I do what? He goes, you turned your back on my man Axe? And I was like, oh, yeah. No, I don't know. Sorry. An old black guy giving you props. Yeah, thanks, Mr.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right. This is why I'll never play a slave owner in a movie. Still, they. They think you're that guy.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

That's why Brad Pitt wisely cast himself as the guy who freed the slave, by the way.

[Sam Morril]

He didn't wisely cast that. He was the producer, and he gave himself. He was like, hey, could you put me in the movie as the guy that only makes women come? I just don't want to be anything.

[Dan Soder]

By the way, that's all of his movies anyway.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's true.

[Dan Soder]

But no, I love that. He's just like. He's got one scene, and he's like, I'm gonna free you.

[Sam Morril]

I'm Canadian.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

So I've got none of this blood on my. Because he does. He comes in in 12 Years a Slave, and he's right, I've got blood out, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

DiCaprio's got a couple of big N bombs out there in Django.

[Sam Morril]

Well, this. I was actually just reading about how he was uncomfortable with the script of Django, and Samuel Jackson was like, no, say he does that to people.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, he wants you to say it. Sad to make you uncomfortable.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I was just watching this movie, Deep Cover with Laurence Fishburne.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Dan Soder]

There's an opening scene where, you know, it's all these, like, black guys auditioning to be this undercover agent, and there's this white guy interviewing them, and he goes, what's the difference between an N word and a black person? And he keeps asking him, and one guy punches him, another guy, like, freaks out. And here it is. I was watching. I'm like, hopefully there's more to this guy's role.

[Sam Morril]

Dude, that's crazy. He went in and had to read that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

He goes, can we not do that scene? Can we do the other scene? And they go, do the scene.

[Dan Soder]

There was some background noise. We need you to say it again. He's like, fuck. And these guys.

[Sam Morril]

These cameras aren't recording.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Oh, Plane went by Room Town.

[Dan Soder]

But there's a callback in the end to it where Fishburne gets. It basically gets him in the end. But it's like.

[Sam Morril]

That's the difference.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Well, who would rather play this? Or Ned Beatty's role?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, Great question. That is tough, that role. Because you're not getting raped.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. That's a fake rape.

[Sam Morril]

That's. I don't care, though. But like we were saying, people believe it's real.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

True guys would just walk up to you and be like, do they have to sew your asshole back together?

[Dan Soder]

And I feel like black people get. Give Leo props. Like, Roy Wood even has that bit. That's a great bit about him being like, we need guys like you to tell the story, basically.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, that's why Louie's bit of Goodbye Jews. That is like, I never even thought about the audition process till that bit.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Goodbye Jews.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Juilliard.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

That is so funny because, like, actors are very liberal and very, like, you know, I don't want to hurt. Is this a safe space? And then they have to say wild ass shit like that. Okay, here we go. Get down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know. That's why I'm so glad. I think we're all safe here. We've never done a photo of us in blackface. I know, because like, every time a Kimmel thing or a Sarah Silverman thing or a Jimmy Fallon thing, it always bubbles right back up and you're like, God damn it, that's gonna live forever.

[Sam Morril]

Well, you know. Yeah. And it really is a picture says a thousand words.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And it's all the N word.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's the difference right there.

[Sam Morril]

That's the picture.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. And that's gotta suck. And I don't think Jimmy Kimmel's a racist. I don't think Sarah Silverman's a racist or Fallon. But he's like, that photo just lives.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. At what point do you go like. Because you can't really get mad at it because you did it, right. Kimmel's. It was the. The Karl Malone.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Who's. Why they call it diabetes? Carl Malone thinks they need to call live obedience.

[Dan Soder]

That sounds a lot better.

[Sam Morril]

Look at world. I got Liver Beaties.

[Dan Soder]

But then some people get more mad at Kimmel for this than they are at Karl Malone. A 12 year old.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's true.

[Sam Morril]

That 12 year old produced an NFL caliber to tackle.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So wait, who's this 12 year old?

[Sam Morril]

His kid ended up going, whoa, this kid played in the NFL? Carl Malone's illegitimate son played in the NFL. And then once he made it the NFL, Carl Malone was like, yeah, he's mine. Whoa. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn. That's the best case scenario, I guess.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, that's actually his real son. I'm talking about. Look up his. The one from his. From The. From the grape. From the stat story. Grape. I talk in TikTok now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I'm going to unalive myself. I had sex typing Carmelo and Rape Baby. I don't know. That's probably a way. Sorry, Grape Baby. That sounds racist.

[Dan Soder]

Calm. There's a website.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Rapebaby.com now. Oh, that's him. All right.

[Sam Morril]

Karl Malone Jr. Okay. His name isn't Carl Malone Jr. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

They don't usually take the name.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, they don't have. It's not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His name was named Rape Baby Malone.

[Sam Morril]

It was. Yeah. There it is. At age 20, Carl Malone had a child with a 13 year old.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

13.

[Dan Soder]

Which means he. When she was 12.

[Sam Morril]

And you should look it up. The guy's name. I'm. I'm mad. I'm such a pothead. I usually know the guy's name, but he played. It's what. Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn good name.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Demetrius Bell. That's exactly who it was. Played in the NFL and played in the NFL a while. Like, had a career.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

And once he was finally NFL, Carl Malone was like, he's in the NFL. Yeah. It was my baby, but it's wild.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So the mom's like, what, 28 now?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. She's. She's still out there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

She's younger than him, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Demetrius Bell.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Dude, isn't that wild?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, man.

[Dan Soder]

Sports are cool, man.

[Sam Morril]

But you're also like, if you're a rape baby, how mad are you that the rapist isn't a professional athlete caliber. DNA.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's true.

[Sam Morril]

You're like, my mom got raped by a fat little slug right. At the bar. And now I'm, you know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that how they do it at the clinic? Well, he's an athlete.

[Sam Morril]

I think you should keep it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

What's. What's your. What's. The rapist's 40. You go 4. 4. And you go right.

[Dan Soder]

A boyhood episode of Law and Order. Svu overtime.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, it sounds like a perfect Republican argument. Like, hey, hey, you might be in the NFL one day. Don't. Don't abort them.

[Sam Morril]

One out of right. 500,000.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. It's always. You might cure cancer. That's always the go to.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. But that was. When you find that out, you're like, that sucks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You ever paid for an abortion?

[Sam Morril]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you got them for free? Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I do them myself. There's wire hangers for a reason. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Dude tells you got to get. It's hard to get them off the thing.

[Sam Morril]

But, you know, it is crazy. I used a wire hanger recently to. Something fell down our sink and it was like, right. You know where the. Where the pipe curve curves. Yeah, it was there. It was like a long. And I was like, oh, I can get it. And we had. From the dry cleaners. We had it. And as I was undoing it, I was like, crazy that people used to do abortions with these things.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Insane. I think about that all the time.

[Sam Morril]

It's just like, wow, when you hold your son. I can't believe a coat hanger could have got rid of you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I saved 350 bucks.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Have you paid for one?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, twice.

[Dan Soder]

The first one didn't take an after pill.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, there you go.

[Sam Morril]

Morning after pill. Or. Or plan. Yeah, the plan B is like, if you haven't paid for those, what are you doing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that's a must.

[Dan Soder]

It's crazy that you can just get that like that. But Ritalin, you need a prescription.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Well, you can just get a thing that'll destroy a baby.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

It's just like they. You have to go to the pharmacist, but they just give it to you.

[Sam Morril]

It is a mulligan. Yeah, Can I get a mulligan? I think I came in a lady.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's a wash. You just do it, like as a precautionary.

[Sam Morril]

You go, you take one. I'll take one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Do anything to me.

[Dan Soder]

But, hey, she tried to split it with me. I was like, nah, it's probably my fault. I'll pay for it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I have bodies.

[Sam Morril]

I have plan B pills. Yeah, I remember that was like when I had no money and there. And she was like, I think. And you're like, yeah, we'll. We'll take a walk to CVS and then you're like, 50 bucks. You know what I mean? Holy shit.

[Dan Soder]

She tries to throw an orbit to you, like, Nah, just.

[Sam Morril]

No, I want a. I want a Sobey. No, you don't get the white Sobey with the. The abortion pill.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What do you think would happen if you gave a morning after pill to an infant?

[Sam Morril]

I don't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just let him eat it.

[Sam Morril]

He gets twice as strong. Oh, no, he's growing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. They should also make them in, like a dispenser. If you buy like 10 of them, you can get like a.

[Dan Soder]

Cool.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Like pens, a baby's head or like a punch card.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

They go, 10, 10 paying bees. You get a free abortion.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, remember how in Wayne's World he had the licorice thing on the roof?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

With Morning after pill.

[Sam Morril]

God, that was awesome.

[Dan Soder]

Technically, stock up on those.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, why not?

[Dan Soder]

I wonder what the expiration date is on that.

[Sam Morril]

I also think those things are probably going to be off the shelf soon.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

With Trump.

[Dan Soder]

Not in New York.

[Sam Morril]

Not. I mean, dude, you don't know.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You have no idea. They could restrict.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I feel like I could make my own.

[Sam Morril]

You just have rubber gloves on and goggles.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You just hand her a bottle of whiskey.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, you go drink that, but you got to drink it all at once. Bodega Cat playing B Liquid Plan B.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

By the way, plan B is the name of Brad Pitt's production company.

[Sam Morril]

That. Which is wild.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's plan B.

[Sam Morril]

Which is wild. Why would you do that?

[Dan Soder]

If it dies and he has no one to blame.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Good point.

[Sam Morril]

That's the name of the drug is RU486.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I bet it took 486.

[Sam Morril]

RU486 and a baby.

[Dan Soder]

It should be called RU187.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it is funny thinking about calling an abortion 86ing a baby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Hey, guys, we're 86 on infant. Like a restaurant. Yeah, we're slammed. We're 86 on baby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Whoa.

[Dan Soder]

Are you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Four hundred and eighty six. That's brilliant.

[Sam Morril]

Brad Pitt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Plan B.

[Sam Morril]

Called plan B. And they're like, oh, Brad, you've never had to use that. Any. Any girl he's spunked in, she's been like, I'm holding it, right? Yeah, they just plug her, Right?

[Dan Soder]

Weird that he adopted too.

[Sam Morril]

Well, they had actual.

[Dan Soder]

But they adopt too well.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They wanted some ethnics, you know.

[Sam Morril]

Look at that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got to score points.

[Sam Morril]

Look at that kid cast.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Like a college catalog. Look at that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Apparently they all hate him now.

[Sam Morril]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that correct? Is that right?

[Sam Morril]

I don't know. I feel like they do that with celebrities, kids all the time, where they go, like, you know, all of his kids are trans, Right? All right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A couple of Elon's, I think are trans.

[Dan Soder]

One, I think one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

One.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, it's a numbers game. At a certain point, you're gonna hit. You can't be like pro population and anti trans. You're gonna hit trans.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah. Shiloh Jolie. Pitt has said she would like to be called John.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There you go. Because I think he roughed her up a bit.

[Sam Morril]

But where was that when we were kids? I knew a ton of kids that got beat. They didn't switch it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He beat the mom. I mean.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, oh. So they. Shiloh wants to switch to a man to defend her mom.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right? I guess so. I always say she went to the press about getting beat up by him, and first rule of fight club can't talk about it.

[Sam Morril]

That's why he was mad. Why did you do that? Why did you do that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm Bob. I have bitched it.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah, the Grammys thing. Kanye West's relationship with his wife is just abuse.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's going on here with the news abuse.

[Sam Morril]

It's like, I don't give a fuck who you are. You can't pitch it to me that it's anything other than wild abuse.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't think she likes showing her body? I'm just playing devil's aim.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I know. And I know there are people that go like, I love that kink. But it's like, there was one picture I saw.

[Dan Soder]

It's a hard kink to pull off. We're gonna walk the red carpet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look at these knobs.

[Sam Morril]

You gotta hear famous tits are giant.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Those are. That's.

[Sam Morril]

Isn't it weird she looks exactly like Kim Kardashian.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A little.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

If you had an ex and she started dating a guy that was like, hey, this is. This is Ted.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Just looks like you. And you're like, what are you doing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm flattered.

[Sam Morril]

You would.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, a little bit. Or maybe not. Maybe it would mean that my personality was that bad that you have to.

[Sam Morril]

Go, well, I think Kim broke up with him, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. Well, he went, cool, cuckoo, but not medicated. This is a better option because she's not as famous. She's not as high maintenance, probably. She does whatever he wants. And her tits are bigger.

[Sam Morril]

So funny, though, that she's just, like, in comfy sweats.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

He's like, we're gonna go get dinner. And she's like, do you want me to put on the plastic six pack we got? He's like, yeah, squeeze your titties in them plastic six pack.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That is unreal.

[Dan Soder]

He started tweeting again, and it was like, literally when they dropped the Luca trade news, which is so funny that, like, he thought he was going to make a bigger splash, but everyone's like, oh, my God, Luca.

[Sam Morril]

The biggest trade in NBA history.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And you go like, crazy. What? Kanye. He goes, I'm crazy. I am a God. And you're like, yeah, Lucas on the Lakers. Shut the fuck up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, he tweeted, I was going to fuck Kamala, but I don't fuck losers. That was like, his first tweet back.

[Dan Soder]

And he misspelled it.

[Sam Morril]

N. You want that one back?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. What is this a relief for? I love that there's, like a charity behind her.

[Sam Morril]

It's so funny, really. Just get her clothes. Throw an army blanket on that woman.

[Dan Soder]

To get people clothed after. There was one time, Los Angeles, she.

[Sam Morril]

Was just naked one time, holding, like a stuffed cat. She just had to walk around like that. You're like, that's your outfit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Just holding. You're just like a scared kid after a nightmare. But you're naked.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right.

[Dan Soder]

It's got to be a tough existence to be in a relationship with Kanye.

[Sam Morril]

Has to suck to hang out with.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, of course. Sensory.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Which is. Katie finds that. The funniest thing. She goes, a lady named Sensory, which sounds Italian for sensor.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Is all. I've never seen her not naked. All right, that one right there where you're like, what is that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's two on the. No, it's like Anthony Weiner.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Showing his dick, right?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bernie Madoff. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. It's. It's like, yeah, dude, paid off. I didn't even think of that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn. That's.

[Sam Morril]

It's just got to be. I like, you just want to. Obviously, Kanye's a musical genius. Sure. Musical genius. But then at one point, it's like, this is like when a hot lady starts ruining someone's life.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And you go like, well, what's it worth? He's like, well, she's so hot. And you go, but outside of that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, he looks like a Mortal Kombat villain. What the fuck's he wearing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He does. Although Yoko wasn't hot and fucked shit up, so.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Better to go hot and fuck up, I guess.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. But that's. That hat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Chain mail.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

This is strange.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look at this guy. He's like a Hefty bag.

[Sam Morril]

He really does just always dress like a five year old that got into his parents closet. He's like, I'm wearing oversized boots and my dad's suit jacket.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I'm going to work like daddy. And you're like, sure. I mean, you wonder if he ever got medicated, if he would have been like, I made her do what? Yeah, you know, like, you want him Snap back snack. Back to reality. Being like, oh, that was like, kind of mean.

[Dan Soder]

It's a lot to look back on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, it would take a few days.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Days.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I'd love if his head evened out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

He would be like, what was I doing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like a blackout where you're like, what did I do?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God.

[Dan Soder]

I Said, what about the juice?

[Sam Morril]

He wakes up. He wakes up. He's like, what are these teeth? Where's my wife?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right?

[Sam Morril]

My kids are all, how old? And she's like, do you want me. Me to grab the floss and wear it as a jacket?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right?

[Sam Morril]

It's like, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's like, why am I.

[Dan Soder]

It was all a bad dream. She's like, no, I really. Pete Davidson.

[Sam Morril]

He's like, I was really hoping that wasn't true.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But, like, with his new wife, there was, like, when he got in trouble, like, his old assistant sued him, and she said that he would tell. Kanye, would tell his wife that he wants to her mom. I don't know if that's true. This is something I read online. But he was like, I want to your mom. You're like, that's so funny. Just to do that to someone you're dating, being like, I want to fuck your mom. And she's like, all right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Like, at one point, you go like. You can't be like, yeah, it's hot, baby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, baby, you want me fucking mommy.

[Dan Soder]

It's a dude who watches too much. It's a dude who watches too much porn.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Because in porn, that's cool, but in real life, that's fucking disgusting. Incest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It also feels like a Seinfeld premise, like, of an episode where they're like, how do I get out of this relationship? Jerry, say, you want to fuck his mom.

[Sam Morril]

She's into it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, she's into it.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Someone said a long time ago, one of my buddies who's black. So this counts more, okay? He was like, yeah, Kanye's a nerd. He's like, kanye's just a nerd. And he just got access to everything. So he's acting like a nerd would. Where he'd be like, I make hot girls dress crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right?

[Sam Morril]

It's not cool, though. And he's like, yeah, it is cool to me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right?

[Sam Morril]

I got silver teeth fairness.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's Sensory's mom.

[Dan Soder]

The mom's cute, is hot.

[Sam Morril]

All right, Kanye, we're back in on you. She's wearing a red rocket pop dress.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. Like, to break her over the counter. What does she think of the daughter, is the question. Like, we gotta get the daughter to go on call her daddy.

[Sam Morril]

And, dude, they will do. I'm telling you right now. There will be a documentary in, like, 15 years where she's like, this is what happened. I hope this is the abuse. This is why I did it. The money or whatever, a lot of drugs.

[Dan Soder]

Probably.

[Sam Morril]

Probably. Like. Yeah. Well, they said that rumor that he's addicted to nitrous.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Whoa.

[Dan Soder]

What did that do? What does that do to you?

[Sam Morril]

I don't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like a whip it.

[Sam Morril]

I don't. I genuinely don't know. But when people say that whenever someone's addicted to a drug I don't know what they do. I don't judge them because I got like. I don't know what that would do to you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want ketamine.

[Sam Morril]

Ketamine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know what that does?

[Sam Morril]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, so you can't judge me.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, well. How much ketamine do you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm just kidding. I don't know.

[Sam Morril]

I had friends that used to do lines of ketamine in high school.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Me too.

[Dan Soder]

Isn't that what killed Matthew Perry?

[Sam Morril]

It's like horse tranquilizer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. They would do it off a key. Is that what killed him?

[Sam Morril]

I think it was a mix. I think old Chandler Bing had a cocktail in him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Could I be any more up he.

[Sam Morril]

But they like ketamine. I remember back in the day was the drug that. When the friends. I knew that did it. I was like, oh, that's way too hard.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Same, same.

[Dan Soder]

But it seems like it's more.

[Sam Morril]

He was high concentration of drug ketamine in his blood.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Whoa. Fell asleep in the hot tub.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, he fell asleep in that fountain in the opening. That would be a great parody. Just seeing.

[Sam Morril]

Sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We're like, he's not.

[Dan Soder]

He's not.

[Sam Morril]

Okay. We gotta revive him. They rip his tuxedo open.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Joey's like, how you doing? I'm dying here. I'm dying.

[Sam Morril]

So no one told you ketamine was gonna kill you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what they're doing above. Wake up.

[Sam Morril]

So no one told you ketamine was gonna stop your heart? That's fucked up. Have you done ketamine?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I've never done it.

[Dan Soder]

Have you done it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've never snorted anything.

[Sam Morril]

I can't snort St.

[Dan Soder]

Morning freaks me out.

[Sam Morril]

Uppers make me obnoxious. I'm already obnoxious. And I smoke a lot of weed. So, like, an upper would just be a nightmare for people.

[Dan Soder]

Caffeine's great too. I'm good with just caffeine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Caffeine and booze. Yeah. That's a big boy.

[Sam Morril]

Caffeine and weed are exactly what I love. The perfect balance together. Love it. Really love to get high. Then have a coffee.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's nice.

[Sam Morril]

It's real nice.

[Dan Soder]

So you can. You're like a productive pothead.

[Sam Morril]

Kind of. Kind of.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You get juiced up. I noticed when you smoke, you're like, up and at em.

[Sam Morril]

I have fun with it. I like it. It's you. When you quit booze, you got to have something.

[Dan Soder]

Can you write high?

[Sam Morril]

I prefer to. Whoa. I prefer. I. What I do is, like, I think, like, a lot of my premises and stuff that, like, I know I want to talk about is I write sober. But, like, punchlines are like, when you. When you. When a joke goes a different way, weed kind of helps me be like, oh, I never thought about it from that angle.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right, right.

[Sam Morril]

Harlan used to do that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's right.

[Sam Morril]

Carlin used to write. And then he would smoke a joint and go back over his writing and be like, oh, I could, like. I could, like, put this in because I think it just makes you sillier and weirder. So you, like, come up with a joke. Really? Like, oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Takes the filters off a little bit sometimes. You're right. Like, this sucks. I suck with the weed just kind of in it.

[Sam Morril]

Big J told me one time he likes to get high before he goes on stage because when he riffs, he's more likely to say something that'll make him laugh. And then when it connects to the audience, he's like, oh, that's genuine.

[Dan Soder]

It depends who you are, though, because I've tried it once. And I was like, yeah, this ain't. This ain't my drill.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I've had bad experiences, like doing stand up and writing high. It's like sometimes you're like, oh, this is all so stupid. I'm so stupid. And then you're just down the. Down the tube.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I did shrooms before a set once that was bad.

[Sam Morril]

Were you peaking when you went on or were you, like, getting high as.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was getting high and then kind of peaking and got off?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I did. This is like 2012, maybe 2000. It might have been a little late than that. Ari did his. This is not happening. And he was like, we're all going to do mushroom and do a story about doing mushrooms. So Ari showed up with the mushrooms. I was there first out of everybody. He was like, hey, will you go first? And I was like, sure. We ate the mushrooms. I went on stage and I was telling a story about when I got pulled over in high school on mushrooms by a cop. And they let us go. And it was, like, crazy. But I was, like, on stage and felt so good. I was, like, comparing things and I was like, ah. And then this light on the stairway turned on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh.

[Sam Morril]

Because it was at that strip club. Yeah, the Cheetah One.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Cheetahs.

[Sam Morril]

The one upstairs. And a light on the stair turned on, and it, for some reason got my attention. And then I spiraled. It was spiral.

[Dan Soder]

It was the cops flashlight. You were driving.

[Sam Morril]

I was like, I'm back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm back.

[Dan Soder]

I'm on stage.

[Sam Morril]

I just looked over and I was like, huh? And then everything. I was like, are you guys. And then I felt like my people was this.

[Dan Soder]

Did. Was it on t you.

[Sam Morril]

I think you just. Your pants.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was bad.

[Dan Soder]

Were you on TV for this one? It was just a live show.

[Sam Morril]

This was like, way before he did it as a TV show.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, thank. I would hate to be doing a TV tape.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Of course.

[Sam Morril]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Dan Soder]

I love these pants. They're killer pants.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Sam Morril]

Yeah. TV taping. Did you ever do one drunk or.

[Dan Soder]

Like buzzed a special or like a.

[Sam Morril]

Tv like a lady?

[Dan Soder]

A couple Conan's I had. I've had a couple whiskeys in me because they would just have whiskey there, right? I have a few glasses.

[Sam Morril]

They had a full bar.

[Dan Soder]

I think my best set on there. I was buzzed.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really.

[Dan Soder]

It was just so loose. I knew the jokes like the back of my hand because they were just. I'd been doing them for a while and I didn't really think about it, and I was like, that was a really good one. That was like Burr and Bill Hader were on that show too. It was a cool one to be on. I got to follow Bill Burr.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Great white panel.

[Dan Soder]

It was fun.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And. But yeah, I don't think high would freak me the fuck out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, of course. Well, that Conan shit, they leave you in that back room for like three hours.

[Dan Soder]

That jug of. Remember that jug of popcorn?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

The cheese and the caramel? Oh, dude. I would eat half of it while I was there and I'd go on like, ugh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you're just ruminating back there. You're like, ugh. Hope is good. What if I forget my jokes? What if I'm gay?

[Sam Morril]

The first time I did it, Nate was with me, so it was easy because we were just sitting around talking and Nate knew everybody because Nate had done cone himself.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that's true.

[Sam Morril]

So Nate just like. It was like, Nate work there, right? We just, like, knew everybody. And then it went so well. The second time I did it, I was like, I don't need anybody with me. And that was the biggest mistake I made.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Huge.

[Sam Morril]

Because then I was just sitting by myself. Like, you said forever, right? And then you're like, speaking. Oh, sorry, were you say.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, speaking of Nate, we just went to his hotel room and Tribeca, how cra. It was like. It was like a layer in the side of a mountain.

[Sam Morril]

It's. It was unbelievable. It was the coolest hotel room I've ever been.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Greenwich.

[Sam Morril]

The Greenwich Hotel.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think it's owned by De Niro.

[Sam Morril]

It's next to the Tribeca offices. It's fucking crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Unbelievable.

[Sam Morril]

The room, the penthouse he was in was crazy.

[Dan Soder]

Just kept going for kicks. Or was he filming something?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was filming that Billy Geist thing, whatever that was. Willie. Guys.

[Sam Morril]

Willie. Guys. He did the Willie Geist show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But that. I mean, he got us all food. We had a big screen tv. We watched.

[Sam Morril]

It was like. It was like a foreign dignitary.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

Like. Like the president of, like, a foreign country was there. And you're like, we're gonna bring in sandwiches that he likes. Yeah, great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he had, like, a sauna on the roof. He had his own greenhouse.

[Sam Morril]

I took a picture of the hotel like I was. Or of the hot tub on the roof. When I was out there smoking weed, I was like, this is insane.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know.

[Sam Morril]

So he does. Oh, he does own it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, wow. Okay. I mean, that place was beautiful. So him.

[Sam Morril]

Type in the. Type in the.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

Type in the Greenwich Hotel.

[Dan Soder]

Struggling right there. You pulled it up.

[Sam Morril]

See if you can see the penthouse, because it was crazy.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, that pool looks kind of cool.

[Sam Morril]

Let's go to images.

[Dan Soder]

Man. That's a cool front desk.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Right. When Dan walked in, they were like.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, there it is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're here for Nate.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, we sat right there. Sat on that couch, eating sandwiches. That was one of the rooms.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was just one of the living rooms.

[Dan Soder]

Look at that window.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

That's where we watched the tv. Was against the window.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. Louis Katz sat there. Or you did, maybe.

[Sam Morril]

I almost farted. And by farted, I mean my pants. It was crazy. It was one of those places that. There. That's exactly where we were. Y. Nate was on that chair on the right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right, right.

[Sam Morril]

Ari was on the chair on the left. It was. It was one of those hotels where I was like, I'll never be back in here. No, there'll never be a. There'll never be another situation where I'm back in this penthouse.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it was one of those ones where the elevator opens to the room that's.

[Dan Soder]

I like that, dude.

[Sam Morril]

Halfway up in the elevator, assistant. Nate's assistant was like, you're here for Nate, right?

[Dan Soder]

I was like, what if I'm not?

[Sam Morril]

If I' not, you're in big trouble.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, right. We looked so shitty. They're all dressed up, bow ties, and.

[Sam Morril]

We'Re, like, so nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What was the Hang like, though.

[Sam Morril]

It was fun. It was all us. It was all people we knew. It was like, me, Norman, Sal, Louis, Katz, Nate.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ari.

[Sam Morril]

Ari.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just a good chopping. Chopping the. Chopping the. Is that a thing? Shooting the shit. Chopping it up and doing a lot of talking and comedy business.

[Sam Morril]

It was great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was great.

[Sam Morril]

It's always fun because it's fun to, like, talk to Nate where you go like, yeah. He still got that in you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You see him doing well? Yeah, yeah. Then you talk and you go like, you ain't never going to lose that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Sam Morril]

Comics never lose that. You seen this? And you go, tell me about it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's in the most expensive hotel. He's. He's doing a Christmas special. He's doing arenas. And he's like, this guy never supported me. He never helped me on the way up. I had to do it all on my own.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. But it was. It was. It was a fun hang. And that hotel was wild.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, that never goes away. But this shit helps.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, that's nuts. I'm doing a couple dates with. You're doing some dates with Shane, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hell, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I'm doing a couple.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You doing Minneapolis?

[Sam Morril]

No, I'm doing Colorado, Utah, D.C. and Cleveland.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's gonna be fun.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's fun. He was like. He's just like. He wants to bring all of his friends on the road.

[Dan Soder]

That's cool, man.

[Sam Morril]

He was like, hey, you want to do some dates? I was like, fuck, yeah, dude. I'm doing one of those dates I know is with James McCann and Big.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

J. Oh, that's killer.

[Sam Morril]

So that's gonna be a fun fucking love, McCann.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

See, that's the beauty of shit. He never really changed either, because he's. He's having celebrities hit him up. We're, like, bombing in front of Eddie Vedder, and he's Bradley Cooper's like, you want to hang out?

[Sam Morril]

They get, like, giddy around him. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shane.

[Sam Morril]

Hi. Can I hang out with you? Shane? He's like, yeah, I guess.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. All right. Drake.

[Sam Morril]

It was funny watching him. He took me to a barbecue two years ago on Long island with some 49ers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

And it was Kyle Juszczyk. It was Kyle Use Check's house. And George Kittle was there.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I met him through Shane once, too.

[Sam Morril]

And they're, like, so funny because they're like, love, Shane. And you're like, I love you guys so much. Fan. You guys are the best. But it was then you have to, like, lose It. After a while when you're at a barbecue with him, you're kind of like you're a regular guy. Also, I've met him before, so.

[Dan Soder]

The good thing about being a Giants fan is not a lot of football players star. Strike me at this point.

[Sam Morril]

Well, they were at the Cellar the other night.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who really?

[Sam Morril]

The New York Giants.

[Dan Soder]

Which one?

[Sam Morril]

They were being a problem.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. They're at the field.

[Dan Soder]

They're not.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Well, I wish I would have known. It was the Village Underground. They were at the Vu and they were on. When you're on stage, they were in the right. In that, like, back corner room where that. That back is usually where people get noisy because they feel so removed from the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes. And the bars right there.

[Sam Morril]

So they were like, talking. This. My set was fine, but I could hear them talking, and I didn't go after it. And then I got off stage and I was like, yo, what's up with that group in the right corner? They go, oh, that's New York Giants. And I was like, I wish I would have known that because I would have talk much shit. I would have immediately been like, hey, you got to win more than seven games if you're going to interrupt the show.

[Dan Soder]

I don't think close to seven.

[Sam Morril]

That's what I mean.

[Dan Soder]

Three.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it would have been fun.

[Dan Soder]

They can't even tank properly.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's brutal. That is the weird part about the seller is sometimes there's celebrities there that you don't have any interest in. Bump into. And they'll just be like, good set. And you're like, oh, fuck. All right. I'm trying to think of one of the weirdest ones. One time I was bombing in building Maher.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Sam Morril]

SD walked Bill Maher into the room.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Holy.

[Sam Morril]

Years ago. And I was like, ah, I don't even like this guy, but this sucks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This guy's bombing.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, really? That's your set.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, you're doing Subway material.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I had a one time. I met Spike Jones there.

[Sam Morril]

That's cool.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was pretty cool. Matt Damon, he was there a lot.

[Sam Morril]

But I met him because of Papa and Brian Koppelman.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yep, yep.

[Dan Soder]

Trying to think of a new rule. No more soda going on.

[Sam Morril]

First, why does Dan Soder. Why I talk about smoking weed? It was actually Big J and I smoked a joint and I was like, I don't like to smoke right before I go up because I usually freak out. And Jay was like, don't be a pussy. And then I was doing. This was like 2013. I was doing a new bit that was, like, killing, like. It was like. I had had it for a couple weeks, so I was opening with it just to, like, you know. And I'm doing it, and this lady gets up, and I go, where you going? She goes, I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette. I heard you do this joke last week.

[Dan Soder]

And I was like, whoa, damn.

[Sam Morril]

And I was like. And I was pretty new at the Cellar, so I was like. And I just, like, went back to old material. And so it wasn't going the way I wanted it to. Cause it was old material that I didn't even like anymore. And then I saw Esti walk. First off, Esti walked in the room, which scares the shit out of you.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Sam Morril]

And then Bill Maher, I was like, is that Bill Maher with est. Holy fucking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's your worst heckle? Worst thing that just crushed you? Got you. You couldn't come up with anything.

[Dan Soder]

A club called Rooster T fet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know it.

[Sam Morril]

Shout Out. Sunnyvale, California.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hell, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I don't even think it was Sunnyvale. Oh, yeah, it was Sunnyvale. It was not even. It was like rams. Like Cupertino or whatever.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's like, south of San Francisco.

[Dan Soder]

And it's like a small crowd. I was not selling shit. And I was doing that. Which people some now know as the Alligator store.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

It was a work in progress, that story. It took a while to get it where it was, and I guess it wasn't there yet, because in the middle of it, a woman walks out, opens the door, and goes, you fucking suck. And the door just slows. It's like slowly closing in. Slow mo. And I'm just like. I just kind of stopped. And some other woman goes, I think you're doing great. And I was like, that was even worse. The pity's worse than the outrage.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Pity's worse.

[Dan Soder]

And I was like, oh, God. It's just hard because I didn't have.

[Sam Morril]

I think you're a sweet boy.

[Dan Soder]

I didn't have an opening to hit her back. Cause the door shut, right? So I'm like, oh, you just won.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Smart way to heckle is say it and leave. Yeah, you can't rebuttal. Worst. The pity.

[Dan Soder]

That was a bad one. That's the one. First one. I also got spat on once at. That was a bad one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Spat on.

[Dan Soder]

I was doing the door there, and they throw you up sometimes. And I was. I went on, and I just, like, was going back with this guy, and I was dressed like shit, you know, I Had like, you know. Yeah, the same pants I wore every day.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Shitty young comic. And he was like, look at those cheap fucking pants. I was like, yeah, they're fucking. This doesn't pay much.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And then we went back and forth a few times, and he just was like, I forgot what I said. That really fired him up. But he just got up and I just heard, and I was like, oh, boy. And then he just. Fucking terrible people. Great aim. Hits me right here. And the staff was so cool. The staff liked me. There it was all these tough Latina waitresses, and they're like, barricade. And they wouldn't let him on the stage. I'm like, this is humiliating for so many reasons. Hits me, walks out and shout out Chris Murphy, who, like, I was a young comic. I was a little rattled that he was kind of scary. He was like, I'll walk you out. And I was like, I love you, Chris. I don't think you're making a difference. This guy, was he there? He walked me out. No, he wasn't there. He was gone. But.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Holy.

[Dan Soder]

When you're a young comic, you're like, fuck. That was a little weird, man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got hock to it.

[Dan Soder]

Not the good kind.

[Sam Morril]

Definitely finished you, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Finished all the time.

[Dan Soder]

This guys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's pretty bad.

[Dan Soder]

Those are the two that jumped out immediately.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, I have a couple. One was. Was not long ago where I was doing a joke that I put on my YouTube special about, I'm always afraid I'm going to let the mass shooter into the building. It was an early show at the Cellar, and I was like, I'm a people pleaser, you know? And I, like, did the act out of opening the door, and it got nothing. And this guy right to the side of the stage goes, you're not funny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh.

[Sam Morril]

And I was like, that's harsh. And then I just. I didn't address it. I just fucking like, you know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How do you not address it?

[Sam Morril]

I went like. Because the joke bombed so hard. He technically was right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh.

[Sam Morril]

And I was just like.

[Dan Soder]

And you were new at the Cellar.

[Sam Morril]

No, this is 18 months ago. And I fucking ate it, dude. I ate it so hard. Oh. I. But I stuck to my guns. Like, I was like, fuck this. I'm gonna do these jokes. I know these jokes were.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But I bombed. And I got off stage. I was in the back hallway, and one of the waiters came out, and he was like, that was impressive.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

I watched you stay to your guns, but you took a beating on that one. It was so bad. I had a set at New York Comedy Club on West Fort on East 4th, you know, across town. I called and talked to Shane the entire walk over because I was like, no, the joke works. Joke works. And he was like. He was like, yeah, dude, you're fine. This is just like. I was just like a bad set. I was like, oh, I'm not gonna fucking stop doing the job. And it was me up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

Is it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Got nothing and it's a shooter joke or what?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it was a mass shooter joke.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dark.

[Sam Morril]

And they were like, oh. And the guy goes, you're not funny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn, I should be throwing out for that. That's crazy. I got a pity. I was bombing. I was somewhere on the road, some funny bone. And it was a papered room. And do you remember which one I think it was? Dayton, which is already sad. Yeah, a Dayton funny bone. Papered room, half full, whatever. Sweating, dry mouth. Bombing. Two older ladies in the front row, probably 65. One leans over and goes, this is bad. Heard everything. It's pure silence. So I could hear everything. And now you have to pretend you didn't hear it and keep delivering the jokes with a smile on your face and tap dancing and jazz hands, and I wanted to kill myself.

[Sam Morril]

You just knocked loose a memory.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right.

[Sam Morril]

When I was at Helium in St. Louis, you know the Helium, the room? They're, like, right in front of you. Worst helium, but they're, like, right in front of you in, like, a little semicircle. I was doing a joke that was on my HBO special about killing my grandmother because she asked me what gluten was, and it's like a big act out or whatever. And this old woman was with her daughter in the very front. I did the whole joke.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It didn't do bad, but the laughs came down. And I heard her lean over to her daughter and she goes, I don't like this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh.

[Sam Morril]

And I was like, and you. You can't go back at that. No one else heard that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Exactly. Just you have it.

[Sam Morril]

And then the rest of the time, it's like you're performing with, like, this, like, spot, where you're like, I know this fucking woman hates me.

[Dan Soder]

It's like when a sibling would do something, like, under the table.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And I was like, well, I can't throw the first hit. They're gonna think it's me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Exactly.

[Dan Soder]

Don't realize it's defense. But, yeah, dude, I experienced that club once where everything was just going wrong that week.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, helium St. Louis.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. I was in the bathroom the first night. Veterans on. On stage. And I can't. The bathroom door. Just.

[Sam Morril]

Sliding door with one of those turn locks.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. So I couldn't get out. And Vitor's, like, about to call my name. Like, fuck, what do I do? I had to kick the door in. So I broke the door.

[Sam Morril]

That looked like that would have been. By the way, I think that has to be your next special intro. Fucking kick the door out. You're like, are these motherfuckers ready for this?

[Dan Soder]

I didn't do it in a cool way. It wasn't like a cop movie thing. It, like, kind of. And then, like, the little lock thing in the middle was just gone. It was. There was like a hole this big. So. So I got. And Gary's like, what the fuck happened? I'm like, it wouldn't open. I was texting the manager. No one answered. And then the next night, I thought it was a good idea to get rainbow trout at a restaurant in St. Louis, Missouri. I deserve this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got a gay fish.

[Dan Soder]

I deserve this. And in the Uber to the club, I was like, man, my stomach's killing me. I'm like, I don't know if I'm gonna make it to the club. And the Uber driver, he's just going, I had some diarrhea last week. Turned that bowl pink. And I was like, why are you doing this?

[Sam Morril]

Don't do that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Little tugboat kid captain.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's got war stories.

[Dan Soder]

God damn it. I had to, like, hobble into the club. I ran into the bathroom. Veer had to stretch. He'd do like, 35. I had diarrhea. I might. I'm sure I've told this on the pod before.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. So they put through that little hole in the door.

[Sam Morril]

Did you get through your whole set?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I made it. The Pepto numbs you. You're good.

[Sam Morril]

But by the end of the set, were you feeling like, oh, I got a again?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I was bad. I was in a bad way. That is. It's not good. In the same stall that you ruined the night before. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

That's so funny.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Dan Soder]

I thought, I've told this on the pod. I'm sure I told that one time.

[Sam Morril]

I was pooping at Bricktown Comedy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. Oklahoma City.

[Sam Morril]

Good. Great club. And I shut the door, but I was pooping, and I thought I had more time. And then they were like. As I was finishing, I heard them calling me, no, no, no, no, no. And then you're like, I gotta clean. I gotta clean. I gotta wipe my hands. And it was like three dance odors. It was like, dance odor. Ah, Dance odor.

[Dan Soder]

And then what you have to do at that point is you walk out slowly. You have to make it seem like it's on purpose.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right, right.

[Dan Soder]

You know, I like to wait.

[Sam Morril]

No, I went up there and I was like. I was just pooping. Like, I like pure honesty. You just go up there and you go, guys, poop was falling out of my butt. When he said my name the first time, it was. I was. I was. I was being relieved.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

That is a good club. I like OKC.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I went. I went. And it was like 104 every day there. It was like smoke. I want to go back when it's not. When you're. I wasn't sweating on stage like a tent preacher. Oh, is wild.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. That's a tough one. You always think you can in time. I. I hate a rush.

[Sam Morril]

Rush is the worst.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The worst. You want a free calendar? Turn the phone off, Light a candle, and really enjoy it.

[Sam Morril]

When was the last time you were constipated?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I never get constipated.

[Sam Morril]

Have you ever had major constipation?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Never.

[Dan Soder]

First time I ever prayed to God was constipation.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Dan Soder]

It's first grade and I.

[Sam Morril]

Didn't we talk about this last time I was on. If we've talked.

[Dan Soder]

Damn. I feel like I don't want to repeat another.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've never heard this. Constipation.

[Dan Soder]

No, I just. Yeah. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Because I've. I was.

[Dan Soder]

You get it all the time.

[Sam Morril]

No, but I had a horrific one at comedy at the Carlson in Rochester, New York.

[Dan Soder]

Another club I like a lot.

[Sam Morril]

Love that club. And it was similar on. I was constipated for, like a week, and then I was at that club, and I was, like, begging God to make me poop.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What causes this? Habituates.

[Dan Soder]

Bad. Yeah. Bad diet. What are you eating?

[Sam Morril]

Well, my. I think it was. I truly think it was because the 49ers lost the NFC championship game.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here we go.

[Sam Morril]

And I was so mad about it. It's when they lost to the Rams, which we beat twice that season. So the year the Rams won the super bowl over the Bengals, the Niners lost the NFC Championship Game. And then I had a blowout Facebook thing with a family member. Like an end contact. Like a very real.

[Dan Soder]

Over the game?

[Sam Morril]

No, over our. Just the history with me and this family member.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

It was like a fucking. Like I was sh. When I wrote it, I was so angry, and I wrote it. I Read it to my. I read it to Alan, and Alan was like, that was great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

Read it to my mom. And my mom was like, him. It was like a guy that, you know is related to me that I don't. I don't have a relationship with anymore.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So you think stress.

[Sam Morril]

That's exactly what my doctor said.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

Because I went to the doctor, I was like, I've been constipated for, like, eight days, and my diet has stayed the same. And I'm usually very regular.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Every morning. And I was like, and I can't. And I was like, I'm trying to force it. And he was like, no, you got to drink Miralax and just let it happen.

[Dan Soder]

Stress will do it, though.

[Sam Morril]

And it was stress. And then I did suppositories.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It can't be the game. I think it's all the family. I think the game is a little stretch.

[Sam Morril]

I was stressed out during the game, and I tried forcing a shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, interesting.

[Sam Morril]

Honestly, this is the. I'm telling you, the hundred percent, the real truth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lay it on me, fan.

[Sam Morril]

Halftime of the NFC Championship game, I tried to force the shit out. Didn't happen. Was mad. I held on to it. The family thing happened the next day, and I was locked up for, like, nine days.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A combo.

[Sam Morril]

And then I.

[Dan Soder]

And then my doctor was stuck, too, so.

[Sam Morril]

What's that?

[Dan Soder]

I said, the Niners were stuck, too.

[Sam Morril]

Now. Dude could get past Aaron Donald and.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He couldn't get blockage out the Browns.

[Sam Morril]

Have you ever done a suppository?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Dan Soder]

That was a low point. As a young road comic in an Amtrak bathroom, having to put a suppository up my ass.

[Sam Morril]

It made me think. All I could think about was Louie Joke.

[Dan Soder]

What's that?

[Sam Morril]

Where he was like, he had to do. They gave him a painkiller that was a suppository. And he put it in. And then he's like. It started getting warm. He's like, why don't I shove more stuff up my ass? Yeah, it's such a good bit. He's like, why don't I shove everything up my ass? But I did it. I did it. And it made some of the poop come out, but not enough that I was like, oh, I'm doing it. And then I did a suppository. I remember in the hotel and Rochester, nothing. And I just remember being like, come on, God. And then I talked to my doctor.

[Dan Soder]

My doctor ignores the wildfires in la. He's like, let me help. Soda.

[Sam Morril]

Hold on, Let me Let me knock this loose. But my doctor was like, drink as much Miralax as you want. It won't hurt you. He was like, put every time you're just sitting around, stomach acid. What is it? It loosens your stools. Like, it's for constipation. So I was just, like, sitting around in my hotel room and I'd be like, just do a dump of mirror. Like, did the two shows that night. Still couldn't poop. Got home to my apartment and had the most enjoyable shit of my life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like a dumb and dumber.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. It was one of those things where I think after the weekend of the stress of the shows.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

And everything was done and I sat down. The noise I made when I pooped was like. It was dumb and dumber because I.

[Dan Soder]

Was like Lion King.

[Sam Morril]

I had to do three. Three flushes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I was like, oh. And then I flushed. I was like, oh. And it me up so bad that, like, I was, like, high. Like, I, like, got done pooping and I just, like, laid down on my couch. I was like, that felt wonderful.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Dan Soder]

It is kind of like in the end of the movie where you have to, like, the extra gunshot to the bad guy.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Let me make sure this is gone.

[Sam Morril]

Stay fucking dead.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, stress hits everybody differently. When I'm super stressed, my beard falls out.

[Sam Morril]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. So it hits everyone differently. Beard's looking pretty full now. Yeah. My razor broke, so I gotta buy a new one. But.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but it will come out in clumps.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, just circles. Like a really. Like a nickel.

[Dan Soder]

Razor's breaking is a peeve.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Of course.

[Dan Soder]

Break a lot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They really do.

[Sam Morril]

I use a buzzer now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what I use.

[Dan Soder]

But they fucking. They break all the time.

[Sam Morril]

You know what? Yeah. You just gotta find one that doesn't break.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Unless Manscaped is sponsoring this episode, in which case their stuff is really good. Manscape's got it is good.

[Sam Morril]

It is great. Manscape does some good work.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They do good gifts.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Those boxes. Yeah. I got 9,000 razors.

[Sam Morril]

That's the way to go. Because you're sponsored by them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

That was like me giving digital picture frames, which if anyone I gave is watching this. I apologize. But it's a good gift.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Great gift.

[Dan Soder]

Those are pretty cool, actually.

[Sam Morril]

We had, like, six of them. And Katie's like, what do you want to give them for Christmas? And I just grabbed one and she was like, okay. Like, I'm it. Why not? It's just gonna get a gift.

[Dan Soder]

I'm like, I got you some bodega Cat.

[Sam Morril]

With you. I just give impressions as gifts. Yeah, I'll do your voicemail as Macho Man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What about the singing gift? The singing telegram that went away?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. He'd be like, happy birthday.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right? It's now cameo. You guys have any thieves or bits you're working on? Oh, I got. I got a peeve.

[Dan Soder]

What do you got?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Buy you guys some time.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You ever have this guy? This happens to me all the time, and I hate it when the guy. You go. I go, hey, some guy's like, so, yeah, my friend was a heroin addict. He eventually died. And I go, oh, did he die of a heroin overdose? And another guy I was with goes, of course he did. What the fuck kind of question is that? And then the guy goes, no, actually got hit by a car. And I'm like, how about you not call me out before, you know.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, he made me seem like an asshole because I asked that question.

[Sam Morril]

What else is he gonna die from?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that was it.

[Sam Morril]

It was cancer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right?

[Sam Morril]

There you go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Exactly. So don't give the guy shit for asking a dumb question.

[Dan Soder]

He said eventually too, so I think your. Your instincts were right.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Thank you.

[Sam Morril]

That is weird to be like, why are you asking him that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right? I get that all the time. Like, of course, you idiot. Why else. How else will you think he died? I'm like, well, we don't know. And then it was a different thing.

[Sam Morril]

The fuck? That does make me mad, because that's someone trying to make you look stupid when you're. When you're smart.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Exactly.

[Sam Morril]

Like, no, I actually had a good question. Like, why would you ask that? You're like. And then there never. Is. The apology is never as loud as the accusation. Of course they never go, like, I'm sorry, I jumped in on that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

Fucking wrong.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So always ask questions.

[Sam Morril]

My peeve is very generic, but it's very true. Text back. Stop. Like, what if I text you and you don't respond? I'm taking that very personally.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You hear that?

[Sam Morril]

No, dude, I'll tell you this right.

[Dan Soder]

Now because he's terrible.

[Sam Morril]

I'll tell you right now with Michael Che. I stopped texting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Me too.

[Sam Morril]

I just don't care anymore. Yeah, I don't. And I love. We're not high school. You're not too cool to text me back. I'm your friend. At least give me a thumbs up. Yes, I won't name names, but there's two people that I. I've been trying to hang out with. And it's just three unanswered texts. And I go, well, then I think we're done. And I think we're done.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And I don't. I don't accept the. You know, I know people that are like, well, I'm overwhelmed. I got a lot of texts or whatever that's like, say that that's fine, but the next text I get from you better be an apology for the text you didn't answer. Like, hey, dude, I just saw the thing above. I'm sorry, I must have missed it because I understand. Ms. You're getting on the train. Someone texts you, you read it, you.

[Dan Soder]

Put it back, get overwhelmed sometimes. I completely agree that you do a bunch of these.

[Sam Morril]

There are people that are consistent that I don't put up with it anymore. It was one of them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

A guy that you would text and just not hear from him. And you're like, I think we're good then.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I just don't care that much because.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I'm not looking for a. How are you? Like, I'm not trying to start a conversation. Some stuff. I. He was like, you want to come to SNL and we'll hang out? Some band was on. I, like. So I was like, I'd love to. And I texted, what time should I be there? Nothing. So you're like, I know you're busy, but I'm not trying to chit chat. I need this information. I don't want to show up at the wrong time. I ended up going, but I just.

[Sam Morril]

Showed up, dude, there's. There's one of our friends that I text that it's. It's just all blue.

[Dan Soder]

Can we. Can we blank the name we say?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I mean, they're going to read lips.

[Dan Soder]

Wow. I would not think that does not.

[Sam Morril]

Answer any of my texts.

[Dan Soder]

Why is it.

[Sam Morril]

I don't know. And. But it's not just me, so that does help. When I've talked to friends and they go, like, he doesn't respond. And you go, like, clearly, he must be going through something. But I can only give so many texts. I'm kind of like, I don't care, dude. If I see you around, I see you around.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you guys are close. I don't want to give too much away here.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I mean, it just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's a Hispanic man.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, he's. He is a black lesbian trans comedian. No, but I think it is, like, in the age of texting, it's like, the least you can do is just go, like, either if you forget, go. Sorry, dude. I didn't see that text. My bad. Yeah, easy, because he did that on a Christmas text. They sent a very nice Christmas Christmas text. And then a couple days later, he's like, holy. I thought I answered this. Merry Christmas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, okay. Damn.

[Dan Soder]

I have some friends like that too. I have a couple close friends, and I. I know that they do this to everybody.

[Sam Morril]

When you find out they do it to everybody, it does help.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not so bad.

[Dan Soder]

Don't look at their phones. They really don't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's true.

[Dan Soder]

One of them.

[Sam Morril]

But that's true. You know, your friend does.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Because you're around them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

See how much they're on their phone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

There's no fucking excuse.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, well, there is also, and this is not you, but there are people out there who are like, it's like eight favors in a row now. I'm not responding.

[Sam Morril]

I will only be upset if I send you a positive, benign message and you don't respond.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

A sincere reach out of like, what's up? Would love to grab. You texted me back. I was like, hey, let's go get diner.

[Dan Soder]

I was on the road, but I want.

[Sam Morril]

You're on the road. And then you wrote, hey, dude, sorry. Just saw this. I know it's a little late.

[Dan Soder]

We do want to hang.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

We live.

[Sam Morril]

But I would. That's not something I would hold against you because I knew you were on.

[Dan Soder]

The road, but, you know, I'm talking.

[Sam Morril]

About when it happens to the.

[Dan Soder]

The bait and switch texters. This is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's true.

[Dan Soder]

The. The texters who are like, how you been? And then they rope that into a favor.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Gomez.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, I don't think I've ever gotten a text from. That isn't a question. I've never got a question of how are you.

[Dan Soder]

It's a statement.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

It's like you're doing story wars this Wednesday. I'm like, I told you I couldn't do that. He goes, I'm confirming you. I'm like, there was no confirmation.

[Sam Morril]

I will. I will.

[Dan Soder]

I love you, Lewis. But I didn't confirm.

[Sam Morril]

I will add to your point, there's nothing worse than someone going, hi.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I hate hi.

[Sam Morril]

Hey. Hey. What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that's never good.

[Sam Morril]

Hey. What? Never trouble you sackless.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

Go like, hey, can you do this? Or hey, don't. Hi.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. Guess what?

[Sam Morril]

You're gonna get back. Hi.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

That's all you're gonna get back. And then I'm not gonna answer the next question.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Girls would do that when you're dating. They'd be like, hey. And you're like, dude, I. You got to set something up here.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, Instagram message from a girl a long time ago. Long time ago. But she wrote hi, and I wrote hi back. And then she. There was no other.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She wants you to do the dirty work.

[Dan Soder]

Hey, this is a little volley.

[Sam Morril]

I don't know.

[Dan Soder]

You do it.

[Sam Morril]

I know this isn't really related, but it's just something that I just thought of that really annoyed me. Back in the day when I was single, before I met the love of my life, Katie Nolan, I was on match.com. i signed up for it old school. I want this, like, 2000, like 6, 16 or whatever. And I was like, I want to meet someone. I want to actually meet someone that isn't a comedian, that isn't in the entertainment industry. I just want to meet someone. And it's New York. So I signed up for this match. Match.com. you have to, like, put in effort to, like, do a profile.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, really?

[Sam Morril]

I did, like, a whole profile. I spent time on it. And then when I first started getting matches or whatever, it was women being like, I bet I'm funnier than you. Delete profile because I don't want to fucking do this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, no.

[Sam Morril]

I bet my gets wetter than yours. What are we. We just going to say. Are we going to say crazy at each other? How good of a dick does your brother suck? And they're like, why are you saying this? I thought you were funnier than me. Yeah, riff it. You stupid. God, it made me so mad. I got like, four of those.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got that, too. Make me laugh right now.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, you show me your tits.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, there you go.

[Sam Morril]

Let's just be honest while we're both here, right? What's your suck game at, lady?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I would just send him a clip on Conan.

[Sam Morril]

There you go. Yeah. Dude. What. You know what's funny is I got. You guys definitely have to get these messages where a fan will send you a tag for a bit that's already recorded. Like, it's on a special and it's out. And he goes, you know what you should say, right? Here you go. I got it.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, we used to do a lot of bits on here, so we would. I would sometimes get them for bits that we were working on. And I was, like, flattered that our. Oh, yeah, they were, like, witty lines sometimes. I didn't end up using them ever, But I was like, that's a good line, you know? Yeah, it Was kind of fun. Yeah. But for the. For the finished bit, sometimes a comic will do that. And I'm like, you know the fucking bits, right? Right.

[Sam Morril]

There's a comic that tried giving me a note recently. One note I got that was great. Like, Mary Santoro saw me do a joke, and she was like, hey, at the end of the joke, you should say this. She goes, do you want a note? And I went, no, I don't. And then she was like, can I just tell you what I think? And I was like, yeah. She goes, at the end of this joke, you should do this. And it was correct. I was like, didn't think of that. And she was laughing. She goes, I know we hate getting notes. We hate getting notes. But then another comic, and I'll tell you who it is at the end, who none of us respect, lets you know I'm not wrong.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And he was like, you know what you should do? Because I have. I just have, like, a throwaway line about how I'm getting older, but I'm doing old man stuff. And I talk about leaving the flashlight on my cell phone on. And he's like, you know what you should do at the end? Your flashlight should be on your. On your.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, now your props.

[Sam Morril]

I went, yeah, we were at one of those underground shows or whatever. And I went, what? And he was like, yeah, you should do that. And I was like, beating the.

[Dan Soder]

Out of him.

[Sam Morril]

I think we're on the same show.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And I was like, no, I don't think I'm going to do that. And he was like, oh, well, it's just, like, a thing. And you're like, that disgust.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

No. Oh, but, Mary, I was, like, apologizing. I was like, I'm sorry. That actually is a good idea.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right, Right. Damn.

[Sam Morril]

Such catty little.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, it's all such insecurity.

[Sam Morril]

You know, One of my favorite things that ever. When I first started on Billions and I met David Costable, who plays Wags.

[Dan Soder]

He's a great actor.

[Sam Morril]

He's a generational talent.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, he's great on a lot. He was on Damages.

[Sam Morril]

He was on. He was Gil and Breaking Bad.

[Dan Soder]

Right?

[Sam Morril]

He was. He was in. He was on the Wire suits. I mean.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, he's had a. He's had a nice.

[Sam Morril]

He is. I'm gonna tell you this right now, possibly one of my favorite humans, easily one of the favorite people I've ever worked with, but one of my favorite human beings I've ever worked with. I got to go to a fucking boxing match at Barclays with him and rappers love wags when Billions.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

There was like, yo, that's my man. Cause he was like the shit talking, get pussy, make money guy. Yeah. And he's funny. He's very funny. But he told me when I first met him, we were in the makeup trailer. We were like in hair and makeup. We're like getting ready to go to set. And he was like, this is like season one. And he's like, oh. I was like, I'm not really an actor. I'm a comic. So that's why they kind of brought me on here to be like, you know, this shithead in the office or whatever. He goes, you're a stand up comic. And I was like, yeah. He's like, you are the second worst group to each other, only behind Broadway dancers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Interesting.

[Sam Morril]

He's like, broadway dancers will push each other downstairs to get roles. Comics do it verbally. And I was like. He said that. I was like, you know a lot of comedians. He was like, yeah. I was like, that is. We are. That. We are the bitches. That's hack. Swan is a great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I did. I took an improv class when I first started comedy because I heard you're supposed to do that. And I was blown away by how supportive. Nice.

[Dan Soder]

Other. I think it's just like, well, you.

[Sam Morril]

You form bonds and you form like little groups and they're just cliquish. But if you ever want to get a comic comfortable around you, just start talking shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Works every time.

[Sam Morril]

It will work every fucking time.

[Dan Soder]

I think once you find your group.

[Sam Morril]

It'S like, yeah, we had a very lucky experience. Our group naturally came together like this wonderful planet we lived on where it was just an explosion. We all move. We were all doing it at the same time. We all hanging at the same time. Shout out to Rebecca Trent in the creek for giving us a place that we could go and, like, hang out and black out and get completely black out and throw up. Tecates.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You know what I mean? But it's like, that is important.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, also, we had a shared love, like, actual love of comedy. Like, a lot of people are hobbyists or they do this to get to some stepping stone. We all gave a shit. And I think that really brought us together.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. We also would, like, sit around, talk jokes.

[Dan Soder]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

And talk old jokes. Like, dude, List and I. I remember and it was like, when you and List started hanging out, I was already hanging out with List. And I remember he would be like, ah, Norman's one of us. He Just wants to talk about jokes, wants to talk about old specials. And you're like, great, great, great. And you really is like a filtration.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

System where you're like, yes, yes, exactly.

[Sam Morril]

Because, listen, I were quoting comedian at each other, like, within a week of hanging out, right? Like, what are you doing this weekend? You're like, this weekend working here? Yeah. Or he would get off and you'd be like, work, work, work, work. Yes, man. I can't talk to Colin about that movie because he.

[Dan Soder]

I love money in it, though.

[Sam Morril]

I'm like, dude, it framed how I look at stand up comedy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. And if you watch it different points in your career, it means something else.

[Sam Morril]

I watch it weeks ago. Hey, how great is it the beginning? We see young Sherrod.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

There's a certain compulsion among comedians to get on stage.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You want to go on.

[Sam Morril]

He goes, you're up next. Oh, my God.

[Dan Soder]

Young Russ.

[Sam Morril]

And my favorite is when Colin, sitting right by the server hutch, you know that table, and he points to the other table and he goes, Apollo's got a friend in a think tank tank. Nick, where's your friend in that think tank? Telling you that think tank bit's gonna be big. And the story. You know what? I. I just quoted comedian Madonna went to the cellar. I heard Schumer brought her, and she and Madonna bombed for a half hour.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't say, like, she bombed.

[Sam Morril]

She bombed so bad that, like, I.

[Dan Soder]

Was like, bring John Mayer back.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Oh, she would kill for a mayor set. But it was funny. I think the British press was like, she did so well. And the American audience couldn't handle it. We could.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We got it. But it's like that Quinn bit.

[Sam Morril]

That's what I mean.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When he goes, minute of grace.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. He goes, jack Nicholson, who's the most beloved person on the planet? After five minutes, they'd be like, all right, Jack, what do you got exactly right.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, dude, there's even a clip of Jack. I don't know if it's the Oscars or what, but he brings out Robin Williams to like.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah, I remember that.

[Dan Soder]

Like, he's leaning on a comic.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Whoa.

[Sam Morril]

But Madonna kept doing the thing where she was like, do you guys hate me? And then they would clap, what a.

[Dan Soder]

Week for a role or something.

[Sam Morril]

No, she just wants to do it. She's tried stand up before.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He did Fallon. She ope open for me at the. Not open for me, but I was opening for Schumer at the Garden, and she went on before me, and it was the easiest softball follow of all time.

[Dan Soder]

Do you talk to her?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I tried to get her number. She wasn't into it, but, no, I. I was too scared to approach her. I didn't want her to mace me.

[Sam Morril]

Before the pandemic, when Jon Stewart was hanging back out at the. I remember that it was me, Stewart, and Michelle Wolf at the table. And Schumer, you know, bro, brought her in and took her downstairs to do a set. And, like, everybody followed.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You know, it pulled, like, the side tables, and everybody, like, went down the thing into Jon Stewart. I was like, you don't want to go watch Madonna do stand up. And he, like, looked at the tv and he goes, not at all. Look back at the tv. And I was like, this is why you're the best. I said that to Jon Stewart. I said, you are the. Like, the. The whole theory of never meet your heroes.

[Dan Soder]

He's cool.

[Sam Morril]

That is not true with John Stewart.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Great guy.

[Sam Morril]

He's the fucking man.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

He just sat down at the table.

[Dan Soder]

When he was doing, like, his. That first hour was.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but when he sits. When he. When he'd come to the cellar, you literally felt there's. There's celebrities that make you feel like, yeah, Stuart. I was like, hey. He, like, remembered the club I worked at. He's like, weren't you down in Florida? And I was like, yeah, I did that. And he's like, it was awesome. I'm gonna be at the Levity Live in Alabama in Huntsville, February 20th through the 22nd. And then I'll be at the Balboa Theater February 28th in San Diego. I'll be at the United Theater March 1st in Los Angeles. We're trying to hold on to that date. We might have to move it. But March 2, I will be at Palace Fine Arts in San Francisco.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nice.

[Sam Morril]

And then March 7th, I will be. Or March 8th, I will be as part of Guild is last fest. I'm doing a theater in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Cool.

[Sam Morril]

Dance order.com for all my dates.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hell, yeah. And check out the YouTube special. It's climbing.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's. We're at, like, yeah, just. Just go watch me do stand up. I love doing it.

[Dan Soder]

Go see Dan the road. Dan's got a great podcast as well right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah? Who's this? Oh, geez. I'm picking up some casinos so I don't have to leave the baby for too long. He's in the car right now. Atlantis Casino in Reno. Then I'm doing Nashville at the Ryman. Then Nashville Napa Santa Barbara, Asheville, Bristol, Tennessee, New Brunswick, Ithaca, Rochester, Portchester, Albany, Burlington. Wasawassau Wax off. Yeah. Something we took from the Indians. Green Bay, Eugene, San Jose, and Mashantucket at the Great Cedar Showroom at Foxwoods.

[Sam Morril]

Hey, I'm doing the Flynn in Burlington, too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, all right. I've never done that one.

[Sam Morril]

Burlington rules.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I do like Burlington.

[Sam Morril]

Burlington is great. And also, they have the greatest sandwich shop in the world called Four Corners of the Earth. Oh, it's one guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, really?

[Sam Morril]

It's all the sandwiches. And he. It's his. It's his thing. It's the greatest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm in. I'll see you there. All right. What do you got, Sammy? Sammy the Bull.

[Dan Soder]

Start. When does this come out?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Eight weeks.

[Dan Soder]

Roll down a little bit. Let's just say. Yeah, we got February 11, Tulsa, Austin, Dallas, Houston, NOLA, Memphis, Knoxville, Nashville, Birmingham, Atlanta at Durham. Thank you, Mark. We got New Haven, Providence, Portsmouth. Added a second there.

[Sam Morril]

Look at this.

[Dan Soder]

Maine. We're going hard. Burlington, Vermont, Montreal, Toronto. There's all.

[Sam Morril]

Hey, we're all doing the Flynn.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, baby. Buffalo, New York, Albany, Columbus, Royal Oak. You know, Grand Rapids. It goes on and on. Samro.com. i'm coming everywhere, baby.

[Sam Morril]

This is crazy.

[Dan Soder]

This is March 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th.

[Sam Morril]

Yo, you know what's crazy?

[Dan Soder]

No break on a tour bus.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hell, yeah. March 8th.

[Dan Soder]

Are you important?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maine.

[Sam Morril]

No, I think I'm right by you, though. On.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Down by the Bayou.

[Sam Morril]

Down by the bayou. March 9th, you're in Burlington.

[Dan Soder]

Let's hang.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I'm not there till. Damn it. I'm not there. I'm not there. Damn it. I thought I was there, like that weekend.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

By the way, that state theater. Watch out. Those guys get hammered.

[Dan Soder]

Those, we talk. This last time. I had a great one last time, but okay.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, that's hilarious. I'm not at the Flint till May. I thought May was March. I'm stupid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All good.

[Dan Soder]

Coming up. Then we got the West Coast. All through the West Coast. I'm hidden. So SamRel.com shows or just follow us all on. Punch Up Punchup Live. Dance Soder. Punch up dot live.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Shout out. Punch up.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Punch Up Live. Sam Morrell. Get tickets there and see Dan on tour, man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hell, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Great to see all of you guys. Thanks for having me on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Thanks for coming in.

[Sam Morril]

Yep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hope you can shit soon.

[Sam Morril]

Poop time. Sunday's the day for my next bender. A bit of piva. You know, the future's close. I've had a little too much burping and Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope and I get down in the same way up on the roof like the cops come woman and naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans this woman doesn't look like I remember and I get down in the same way we might be true.