Ep 216: Blake Griffin

Summary

Podcast Summary: We Might Be Drunk – Episode 216: Blake Griffin

Introduction

In Episode 216 of We Might Be Drunk, hosts Sam Morril and Mark Normand welcome a dynamic trio of guests: Joe List, comedian Nikki Glaser, and NBA star Blake Griffin. Released on January 27, 2025, this episode, produced by Gotham Production Studios, LLC, offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions on comedy, sports, and entertainment.

---

1. Morning Routines and Personal Updates

The episode opens with the hosts and Joe List engaging in light-hearted banter about their morning routines. Joe mentions trying something new by adding whole milk to his coffee, prompting a humorous exchange with Mark:

• Joe List [00:13]: "Mixed it up. Went whole milk in the coffee today."
• Mark Normand [00:16]: "Ah."
• Joe List [00:27]: "She's pregnant. That's mixing it up a little."

Mark jokes about not getting married, only for Joe to reveal that his fiancée is pregnant, adding a personal touch to the conversation.

---

2. The Demands of Stand-Up Comedy

The conversation shifts to the challenges of stand-up comedy, highlighting the rigorous schedules comedians often endure. They discuss JP's intense performance routine:

• Mark Normand [02:25]: "You gotta run it."
• Joe List [02:45]: "The infamous jelly roll bomb."

Mark emphasizes the necessity of persistence in comedy, comparing it to continuous effort:

• Mark Normand [02:30]: "You gotta run it. If I learned anything from that Jelly roll bomb, you gotta run it."

The hosts and guests share strategies for maintaining energy and creativity during demanding performances.

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3. Media Appearances and Performance Risks

Nikki Glaser's performance at the Globes becomes a focal point, showcasing her willingness to take creative risks. They commend her voice impersonations and bold choices:

• Nikki Glaser [10:58]: "She's grown as a comedian."
• Mark Normand [03:17]: "Just because you kill in one area doesn't mean you're the right fit for this."

Mark praises Nikki's ability to diversify her act, noting her successful risks:

• Mark Normand [03:17]: "It worked because it wasn't killing."

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4. Wrestling and Entertainment Industry Insights

Blake Griffin introduces a discussion on the wrestling industry, touching upon the physical demands and the prevalence of performance-enhancing substances:

• Mark Normand [13:09]: "The health care bills are crazy."
• Joe List [13:49]: "They're all addicted to opioids and steroids."

The conversation explores the parallels between wrestling and other entertainment forms, highlighting the sacrifices performers make to maintain their craft.

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5. TV Shows, Movies, and Cultural Commentary

The hosts and guests delve into discussions about popular TV shows like Squid Game and its societal implications:

• Mark Normand [15:18]: "It's about capitalism and society and greed."
• Joe List [16:09]: "But it's such a big production with these sets and the killing and the violence."

They analyze the symbolism behind the show's use of childhood games as killing mechanisms, reflecting on broader societal critiques.

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6. Personal Anecdotes and Emotional Insights

Nikki Glaser shares a poignant story about the emotional toll of external controversies on athletes and teams:

• Nikki Glaser [69:10]: "It was an emotional drain. So we were playing Golden State... we just went the whole season to get to this point."

Blake Griffin adds perspective from his experiences in the NBA, discussing the balance between personal well-being and professional expectations.

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7. Social Issues and Code-Switching

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing social dynamics, particularly code-switching and racial identity:

• Mark Normand [66:36]: "The term now, what the kids are saying is code switching."
• Nikki Glaser [66:50]: "Yeah, I definitely... I'm doing Mellow's podcast right after that."

They explore the complexities of navigating different social environments and the pressures to adapt one's persona accordingly.

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8. Comedy Writing and Creativity

The trio discusses the nuances of comedy writing, emphasizing the importance of authentic and evolving material:

• Nikki Glaser [76:34]: "I have this notes folder that I've had since probably 2000."
• Mark Normand [78:12]: "My idea for an abortion clinic name. Don't kid yourself."

They share insights into their creative processes, including how personal experiences and societal trends influence their humor.

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9. Sports Commentary and Team Dynamics

Joe List and Nikki Glaser provide in-depth analysis of the New York Knicks' performance, discussing player dynamics and team strategies:

• Nikki Glaser [72:55]: "We had bad... but we had one of my all-time favorite teams."
• Joe List [74:08]: "We'll figure it out. We get Mitchell Robinson back."

The discussion offers an insider's view of the challenges and triumphs within professional sports teams.

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10. Closing Remarks and Future Plans

As the episode concludes, the hosts and guests share their upcoming projects and tours, keeping listeners engaged with what's next:

• Joe List [90:05]: "This could go on forever. You guys get it."
• Mark Normand [89:45]: "We're moving some tickets and then the Thomas Wolf auditorium in Asheville."

They wrap up with humorous anecdotes and expressions of gratitude towards each other and their listeners.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Joe List [00:13]: "Mixed it up. Went whole milk in the coffee today."
• Mark Normand [02:25]: "You gotta run it."
• Nikki Glaser [10:58]: "She's grown as a comedian."
• Mark Normand [15:18]: "It's about capitalism and society and greed."
• Nikki Glaser [66:50]: "Yeah, I definitely... I'm doing Mellow's podcast right after that."
• Joe List [74:08]: "We'll figure it out. We get Mitchell Robinson back."

---

Conclusion

Episode 216 of We Might Be Drunk offers a rich tapestry of humor, personal stories, and insightful commentary on the intersections of comedy, sports, and social issues. Through candid conversations and engaging banter, hosts Sam Morril and Mark Normand, alongside their guests, provide listeners with a multifaceted exploration of the challenges and triumphs inherent in their respective fields. Whether discussing the relentless demands of stand-up comedy, the complexities of professional sports, or the nuances of social identity, this episode stands out as a thoughtful and entertaining installment in the series.

Transcript

[Mark Normand]

Hey, hey. Maybe our earliest episode yet.

[Joe List]

Gotta. Gotta appease the guest sometimes.

[Mark Normand]

You got that right, fatty. Here we are.

[Joe List]

Mixed it up. Went whole milk in the coffee today.

[Mark Normand]

Ah.

[Joe List]

Like oat better.

[Mark Normand]

I'm an oat man.

[Joe List]

I just figured we'd mix it up.

[Mark Normand]

All right, well, don't get married. You like mixing it up. Those days are over.

[Joe List]

She's pregnant. That's mixing it up a little.

[Mark Normand]

That's true.

[Joe List]

It's the pregnancy.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. It's not mine, but yeah. Yeah. Pregnant. Pregnant. Sex the other night, it's pretty wild because I think they feel more. Yeah, they're more sensitive.

[Joe List]

I've always wanted women to be more sensitive. That's my.

[Mark Normand]

Well, physically.

[Joe List]

Physically. I love Nikki's joke at the Globes where she goes, what was it? Fuck. I'm butchering the joke. I'm bringing up. But it's like, you know, night bitch. Queer.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yes.

[Joe List]

Just things Ben Affleck says during sex.

[Mark Normand]

Wicked. Yeah.

[Joe List]

Yeah, I love that one.

[Mark Normand]

Boy. She brought out the twins on the writer photo, by the way. Good Lord, I love that.

[Joe List]

Our friend Mike Lawrence in the top right. The only one who's not in a tux or a suit.

[Mark Normand]

That's right.

[Joe List]

Everyone else is dressed to the nines. He's in a Fantastic Four shirt. He's the best.

[Mark Normand]

He looks like the homeless guy that got in for the bagels. We got to give a shit. What a. What a set.

[Joe List]

That was great.

[Mark Normand]

And I'm not talking about the tits.

[Joe List]

I know. I thought you were, but talking about.

[Mark Normand]

Is that Bonnie?

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, Bonnie McFarlane.

[Joe List]

A lot of great writers in here. Yeah, great writer. A lot of great writers.

[Mark Normand]

I saw JP Last night at a New York comedy club, and I just was like, hey. And he goes, hey. And I go, congratulations. And he was like, thank you. He was waiting, wanted it. You know, she ran the set 130 times.

[Joe List]

Oh, my God.

[Mark Normand]

130. I mean, this is a workhorse.

[Joe List]

The math there. So that's like. She had, what, a month? She had a month.

[Blake Griffin]

Gonna math out.

[Joe List]

No, it'll math out. Save a month. 30 times.

[Mark Normand]

What, five is. Is what, 150, so.

[Joe List]

And you said 130?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, so that.

[Joe List]

Yeah, that makes sense. You bounce around. I could see that. Maybe she had longer than that.

[Mark Normand]

Think she had a little longer. She's known about it for a while, but. Yeah, that's. She's. JP was telling me it just kept changing and morphing, and I was like, we had the same thing with the roast.

[Joe List]

Yeah. I did the same thing with my kid.

[Mark Normand]

Transitioning.

[Joe List]

Yeah, yeah, I went for it. No, look, I totally get it because you're like, what is it, a four minute set? And then you're like, 130. I get it. 140 sets.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. You gotta run it. You got to run. If I learned anything from that Jelly roll bomb, you gotta run it.

[Joe List]

The infamous jelly roll bomb.

[Blake Griffin]

Have you seen this taken off online?

[Mark Normand]

I have. Some chooch made a YouTube video, like, Mark Norman has meltdown. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I brought it up, dickless. You're not uncovering footage of it? No, no, they don't. Right? No footage.

[Joe List]

No, no.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, thank God. I can't have that out there.

[Joe List]

It's like Epstein suicide.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I'd rather that. I'd rather be on the island. Put me on that list.

[Joe List]

He had a. He had a more graceful death, from what I heard.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, exactly. At least he got got off, but yeah, yeah. So she killed it. And she looked great. Even like the little silly stuff. The Adam Sandler Chalamet thing. You see that? Shallow.

[Nikki Glaser]

Boo.

[Mark Normand]

Shallow. I mean, Sandler was ready to go.

[Joe List]

It's a risk to do the voice because she hadn't done an act out to that point. It was all kind of just straight jokes.

[Mark Normand]

Totally.

[Joe List]

And she's like, woohoo. You know, the Sandler thing? And you're like, oh, shit, there's a risk. But it worked.

[Mark Normand]

It worked because it wasn't killing.

[Joe List]

And then she kept going, and then he brought it in. And then she took another risk with that Pope thing. I respected it.

[Mark Normand]

Wait, what was the Pope thing?

[Joe List]

She did the. The conclave. Wicked musical thing.

[Mark Normand]

I didn't see the Pope.

[Joe List]

Oh, it's cool.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Joe List]

You know, it was just. It was just silly.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Like, she did a little bit of like, that combination, and then she started singing it and it. And she did like a mic in her ear, like, oh, this is terrible. It's bombing. And her. She was just trashing herself.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's good.

[Joe List]

Like, I'm making a fool of myself in front of Elton John.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it was fun.

[Joe List]

It was. It was silly.

[Mark Normand]

The only person who I know didn't like the monologue was Jo Koy. All right, dude, that was a year ago.

[Joe List]

I totally forgot about it.

[Mark Normand]

That was January 2024. Yeah.

[Blake Griffin]

Is a great comic.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. How hard this gig is and how much you got to Prepare. I mean, 130 sets. Look at that writer's room. What is that? 20 guys? What? How many people is that?

[Joe List]

I think it takes a certain Type of comic, though, to host it.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Joe List]

Just because you kill in one area doesn't mean you're the right fit for this, you know?

[Blake Griffin]

Or what did she bring that he couldn't?

[Mark Normand]

She's a jokey kind of comic, and I think he's more Persona act out. Yeah. Stories likable. She's more cutting, and she knows a good joke. She's done a million roasts.

[Joe List]

Conan's doing the Oscars. Maybe this is a sign that that funny is back. It's not about anything but funny.

[Mark Normand]

Now that would be great. What a concept.

[Joe List]

Funny.

[Mark Normand]

A funny host, a funny comedian.

[Joe List]

I want to hear more about the. The war. That's what I want to hear. I want more war references.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe List]

Celebrities saying we need to do something. I mean, that was one of her best jokes, is the one that, like, you guys can do anything except tell people how to vote. I mean that, because it's like kind of like that's the tone now and that kind of, you know.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Joe List]

Whatever.

[Mark Normand]

All right, well, Whitney went for it too. Whitney's has a little more of a QAnon bent, but she had a. She had a crazy joke, heavy rant as well.

[Joe List]

At the end, she said Sandy Hook wasn't real, which I thought was weird, but I thought. I thought Whitney did. Was really funny because up top, she's just like. I mean, to me, it reminds like the shit we would do on morning tv. But you're on CNN New Year. Yes. So you're playing really to the people at home. You're not. You're gonna. You have to just accept you're gonna bomb.

[Mark Normand]

Right. That was a tough scenario.

[Joe List]

And she.

[Mark Normand]

She stayed in the pocket. I couldn't believe it.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, Anderson Cooper wanted to kill her.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He just got a pay cut too, so that must have been awkward. Like you're shitting on my network right after I got a pay cut.

[Joe List]

Yeah. Well, he'll be all right.

[Mark Normand]

I think he'll be fine.

[Joe List]

He's made a lot.

[Mark Normand]

And he's. He's a Vanderbilt as well.

[Joe List]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He also looks like he's made of. Of icing, doesn't he? Like, too white. It's bothering me.

[Joe List]

I thought you said you wanted to eat him.

[Mark Normand]

Sure.

[Joe List]

He is. He is. That doc on him was brutal. Did you see that?

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Joe List]

I mean, he watched his brother kill himself.

[Nikki Glaser]

What?

[Joe List]

He's had. He had a dark life.

[Blake Griffin]

His brother commit suicide at Dalton.

[Joe List]

I think he was at home. No, he jumped out the window. Whatever he saw, you can look it up. I'm pretty sure we watched him. This is uplifting stuff. I brought it up. I'm sorry. It's my fault.

[Mark Normand]

I had no idea. Yeah, Andy Cohen's a fun guy. I'd like to hang out with him.

[Joe List]

He's a saucy dude.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, Big fan. He gets after it. He drinks. Oh, is that the brother? Yeah, the.35 yesterday. Since my brother Carter Cooper died, I think of him and miss him every day. Well, there you go. Yeah, man. All right.

[Joe List]

He's depressing.

[Mark Normand]

Well, that's my wreck for the week. That documentary.

[Joe List]

No, I got a wreck, by the way.

[Mark Normand]

Please.

[Joe List]

And it's. I know. We got emailed this wreck when we used to do more Patreon stuff and when we would take user emails. It's a movie called Fuck, I Can't Believe Another round. Oh, Danish movie Mikkelsen. Dude, it's amazing with the booze. It's about these teachers who are all miserable, and they decide that they're talking about this philosopher who says, your blood alcohol level is 0.5 too low. So if you can maintain an alcohol level of 0.5, then you're gonna be better at your job. And this guy's a bore. Everyone can't stand him. He used to be interesting, but now he's just become boring. And now at school, he's. The kids are loving him, he's engaging. His wife is fucking him again, you know? But then it's like, of course it spirals out of control. So it's. There's parts that are a little slow, but you got to give it a minute to build. And, dude, the ending's amazing. It's awesome.

[Mark Normand]

Saw half of it on a plane. I remember enjoying it, but I haven't seen the ending.

[Joe List]

Gotta finish, man. Yeah. Our buddy Ron on Hirschberg, who, by the way, made a short horror film that is amazing.

[Mark Normand]

Come on.

[Joe List]

I loved it.

[Mark Normand]

Well, he shits on every goddamn movie.

[Joe List]

So he better bring it.

[Mark Normand]

He better bring it. I can't wait to see it.

[Joe List]

It's very good.

[Mark Normand]

Okay, great.

[Nikki Glaser]

Very good.

[Mark Normand]

And he liked this?

[Joe List]

He loves it.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, great. Okay.

[Joe List]

That's what he said. He's like, you should watch this. I'm like, all right, slow down. He goes. He goes, I hate everything, so my wreck should carry more weight. And I go, you know what? You got a point.

[Mark Normand]

I guess so. He carries weight, but y. Yeah, he's one tough he to please. So I'm excited now.

[Joe List]

He really is.

[Mark Normand]

He's a tough cookie. He's Ebert, he's Our Ebert.

[Joe List]

He is our Ebert.

[Mark Normand]

Eat Bert. Okay, but I was gonna say one more thing about Nikki, but I'll move on.

[Joe List]

All right?

[Mark Normand]

No, I'm growing up. Well, it's gonna be about her boobs, but so I'll move on. Look at me. Moving on, huh? Count it. But yeah, you're talking Rex. Squid game.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Is blowing my tits off. The thing about squid game is it's wildly violent crazy murder. See, she was all legs before, and I feel like she's finally bringing the.

[Joe List]

Ladies with the thing is like, we already have Add him doing the things. You were in the middle of another story.

[Mark Normand]

I know. And he brought the cans out.

[Joe List]

You're talking about squid games. He's looking at pictures of Nikki's legs.

[Blake Griffin]

Literally googled Nikki Glazer's boobs.

[Joe List]

The problem is, this is like when your friends ignoring you while he's on your phone, but you see his phone.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, exactly. This is Sally Q's screensaver is Nikki's tits.

[Joe List]

But he typed in her legs. It was already up there. For some reason, he already been searching this.

[Mark Normand]

She's a friend. I'm not. I'm saying this as a friend, obviously, but she's always been the leg gal. Hey, look at me in high heels. Hey, look at me in the short skirt. Look at my legs crossed. But she's always had a. A great pair. And, you know, I've known her for years, and I've been waiting for this reveal of like, hey, one of the. Look, see, Zol. Leg, leg, leg, leg.

[Joe List]

You're right.

[Mark Normand]

And finally I feel like the. The cans are coming out and it's. It's right on time, if you ask me.

[Joe List]

I was going to say I thought she's grown as a comedian. Yeah. You know.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't. I don't care.

[Joe List]

You're right. She.

[Nikki Glaser]

She.

[Mark Normand]

She's.

[Joe List]

She's definitely. It's like when a player starts rebounding, too. Yeah. Not just the score anymore. You're doing all the other stuff.

[Mark Normand]

Right, Right.

[Joe List]

You, Nikki. Wow. Look at that.

[Mark Normand]

That's what I see. It was legs for days. And look, the legs are great. Nice set of stems.

[Joe List]

Are you a leg man, a buttman, or a breast man?

[Mark Normand]

I like all of them. That's my problem too.

[Joe List]

I. I resent when people ask, but I felt I needed to ask.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, well, you know, it's underrated. Hip to waist ratio. Oh, that's what nobody talks about, but that's what hits the.

[Joe List]

The one like that. You want that, like, Jessica Rabbit type.

[Mark Normand]

The Hourglass. Because sometimes you see a hot lady, but it's like this. And that really doesn't hit the. The primal passion, like the. Yeah, you know, and hips are great, too.

[Joe List]

Well, that is a kind of a part of having a great ass sometimes.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. That's true. You need the in and the out and the waist, but. Yeah. All right, I'll move on.

[Joe List]

It is funny, though, when you're, like. You're just so obsessed with. For me, like, tits is the first thing you're into when you're young. Like, ass you appreciate as you're a little older.

[Mark Normand]

That's true.

[Joe List]

When you're really young, tits, it's all about, oh, my God, tits. Yeah. And then you hold them, you're like, they're just tits. You know what I mean? But you see all these movies and you're like, oh, my God, the reveal, the tits, we build it up so much.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

But then, same with, like, fake tits. You expecting this amazing thing. You're like, oh, they just. They don't move a lot.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Joe List]

Kind of hard.

[Mark Normand]

They're hard tits. Yeah.

[Joe List]

I guess they make nicer ones now than, you know.

[Mark Normand]

I think tits are like wrestling. Yeah, we know they're fake, but I'm still on board. And then pro real wrestling is great, too.

[Joe List]

Now real wrestling's not as good.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. That's a good point. It's a good point. Well, at least it's real.

[Joe List]

Fake took reel made it better.

[Mark Normand]

There's a storyline. There's a storyline. There's a folding chair. There's pink tights.

[Joe List]

I went to wrestling at msu. It was fun as hell, man. Did I tell you that?

[Mark Normand]

No, no. Oh, with the lady.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Yeah, Fun.

[Mark Normand]

That's all.

[Joe List]

It's on RAW now. It's on Netflix now.

[Mark Normand]

Do you get into it?

[Joe List]

You go, yeah, it's fun. And the people. You see some people around you, you're like, oh, these people, like, they fudgeing, need this. I like that. Yeah, I like that. There's, like, some hardcore people that are like, I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

I'm with you. I. This is gonna be a leap, but I think it's a similar to kitty porn.

[Joe List]

Yeah, for sure. Where they're both awesome.

[Mark Normand]

They're. They're both great. But I think these guys go to these fucking nerds and psychos go to these shows and they get it out. They get their. Their. Their evil out, you know? Kitty porn. I'm not saying I approve of it, and I'm not saying you should go out and make any. But if it already exists and a guy watches it, maybe he's getting it out.

[Blake Griffin]

Okay, let's change this.

[Mark Normand]

A victimless crime. Maybe.

[Joe List]

I'm sure these wrestlers who gave everything to their life are really happy with the comparison.

[Blake Griffin]

Whatever. AI AI version. No one's hurt.

[Mark Normand]

There you go. He likes kids anyway.

[Blake Griffin]

He can hurt in the one you're talking.

[Joe List]

I'll take it further. Wrestling. And that might be better than wrestling, because wrestling, people get hurt. Yep.

[Mark Normand]

People die. Suicide, drugs stuff. Yeah. Health. Health bills. The health care bills are crazy.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, how fucked up are wrestlers these days?

[Joe List]

The still shots are pretty funny, though. He looks like he's just, like, laying down.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he does.

[Joe List]

He's like, hey, you need to lay down for a second, buddy. Doesn't look painful.

[Mark Normand]

No, but they're all addicted to opioids and steroids.

[Joe List]

Think about how sore we are. Just flying.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly.

[Joe List]

We're just flying to, like, a road gig. I'm like, fuck, I'm stiff. These dudes are doing that. And then just, like, jumping off a top rope. They're older than us.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. And they're huge men. I mean, like, just to stay in that kind of shape and that. They draw on all kinds of roids and tea and testosterone. It was epic. Who the fuck knows?

[Joe List]

I don't think they're taking Ozempic.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Maybe not.

[Joe List]

Maybe the really fat guys.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but some people want to be a fat wrestler. Like, that's their thing.

[Joe List]

The whole thing.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Like Butterbean or whoever.

[Joe List]

God. Remember Bam Bam Bigelow? Oh, yeah. King Kong Bundy.

[Mark Normand]

Oh.

[Joe List]

They all had to have three names.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Like school shooters.

[Mark Normand]

Thomas Matthew Crooks. Look at this fucking guy. Jesus. That guy has got zero muscle.

[Joe List]

Yeah. It's not a good look. They could have picked a more flattering outfit.

[Mark Normand]

I think that was the point.

[Joe List]

Yeah. Oh, man, look at that. He looks like the fucking Sloth from Goonies.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. No neck.

[Joe List]

Brutal.

[Mark Normand]

Yikes. That other guy looks great.

[Joe List]

Razor Ramon. Dude, that guy was cool.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. He's a hunk.

[Joe List]

Fucking dead dude.

[Mark Normand]

See?

[Joe List]

Died young.

[Mark Normand]

There you go. How'd he go?

[Joe List]

I was a drug addict and an alcoholic for years, and I think DDP got him healthy. Like, he. Diamond Dallas Page is like, an incredible guy and he just gets people. He'd had this yoga program where he would let these guys live with him, and he just got them sober.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Joe List]

He saved a lot of lives, and that was one of them. But I think he did a doc with Butterbean where he he rehabbed butter.

[Nikki Glaser]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Joe List]

No.

[Mark Normand]

What's he called now? Margarine Bean. All right. Yeah.

[Joe List]

His parents shouldn't have named him that.

[Mark Normand]

I think the whole thing's a croc country.

[Nikki Glaser]

Croc.

[Mark Normand]

All right. But yeah, squid game. Yeah, it's very good. It's very. See, everybody thinks it's murder. It's Asians. It's. There's no diversity.

[Joe List]

But by the way, it is all three of those things.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. But it's more. It's. It's got meaning, it's got symbolism. It's about capitalism and society and greed. And here's the cool thing. I don't. I don't give anything away. But yeah, in the show. In the show, they all have to play these games. Whoever doesn't win the game gets killed. But all the games are kids games that they all grew up playing. So it's kind of like, hey, you greedy cunts, go back to your childhood where you were pure and. And if you can't, you're gonna die. And that's the symbolism. It's like, hey, we gotta get out of this rat race and just go back to when we were happy.

[Joe List]

You're right. That's interesting. Yeah. I mean, I kind of was like, they kind of nailed season one. I was kind of like, what are they gonna. Also, the problem with some of these turnarounds with these big budget shows is like, by the time the second season comes out, you're like, oh, yeah, I know. So, like, what's it been, two, three years since this show is out?

[Mark Normand]

But it's such a big production with these sets and the killing and the violence. It's all these actors they have to write for. I mean, it's a lot of. A lot of moving parts.

[Joe List]

This guy's aged. Like Obama. Look at that. He doesn't even look the same.

[Mark Normand]

I think it's a hairpiece. But he's doing. He had the. Won the money. He won the last season, so he.

[Joe List]

Has to go back.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, well, he goes back, he's like, I'm gonna end this fucking thing. I got to go into the inside and end it.

[Joe List]

Interesting.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, there he is.

[Joe List]

Yeah, the hair is all different.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe List]

All right, look, I thought the first one was pretty incredible.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, it's worth it just to put on while you're. While you're shaving or jerking it or whatever, because it's. The games are incredible. It's like a Tarantino movie where the dialogue is great and everything, but you're really there. For the. For the Brad Pitt beating up hippies right. In Hollywood.

[Joe List]

God, that was fun.

[Mark Normand]

That was a good time. Because that one was a little drawn out more than the rest. You know, Pulp Fiction got some shootouts and some heroin. This one was a little more drawn out. But then once Brad Pitt gets in there and then he. They light the lady on fire in the pool. It's great.

[Joe List]

Mike, it's Mikey Madison, right? From Menorah. It's a girl from Minor. He lit on fire in there.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, really?

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I gotta see this.

[Joe List]

Oh, we gotta get Sean Baker on here. I think he'd. Come on, right? Simon's our boy. Maybe could hook us up.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. Florida project.

[Joe List]

Dude, this is an awesome movie.

[Mark Normand]

It's kind of uncut gemsy.

[Joe List]

I hear Anora.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Like, it's fast paced, intense.

[Joe List]

Yeah, that's. It's. And it's kind of funny. Like, that was too. But then also, it's. Yeah, it's. It's great. I loved it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm into her. Anora. Not a great name. She's a hooker.

[Joe List]

Stripper.

[Mark Normand]

A stripper. Okay. All right. I'll check it out.

[Joe List]

Check it out.

[Mark Normand]

Thanks for. Thanks for going with me on my kitty porn idea. I'm not. If we get AI, we're good.

[Joe List]

I'll follow you anywhere, buddy.

[Mark Normand]

All right.

[Joe List]

Next week, two comedians arrested for kitty porn. I shouldn't have followed him there.

[Mark Normand]

Follow me anywhere. I'm getting a truck. We're going out in New Orleans next year. It's gonna be fun. All right.

[Blake Griffin]

Is Beast Games. It's tagging on your.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, your kid has got you all up in the Beastmaster.

[Blake Griffin]

This shit is so good.

[Mark Normand]

He is really amazing.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Blake Griffin]

So Mr. Beast did a squid games thing with 1,000 contestants vying for $5 million.

[Mark Normand]

Holy shit.

[Blake Griffin]

Was the Squid Games, like, theme of, like, not killing people? Yeah, like, you get eliminated over nothing.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Blake Griffin]

And it is dramatic.

[Mark Normand]

What? Let me just. Let me take a guess at how many views this has. Oh, okay, I'm gonna guess the latest episode of this Beast Games has 58 million.

[Blake Griffin]

So the first episode was on YouTube as a teaser to get you to watch. The rest are on Amazon. Oh, first one, I think, has 151 million.

[Mark Normand]

Jesus.

[Blake Griffin]

37 million.

[Mark Normand]

I was way off.

[Joe List]

He got kind of trash, though, last time he did this.

[Blake Griffin]

Right, because this one over this one.

[Joe List]

Yeah, because they were like, it's just lacking in creativity.

[Blake Griffin]

No, no, this is not this one.

[Joe List]

But the other one was a lot more money. But the other one was yes.

[Blake Griffin]

He's getting sued for, like. People are suing for, like, emotional damage.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Blake Griffin]

Like, you put me through shit that I wasn't really supposed to go through.

[Joe List]

Like what?

[Mark Normand]

Like, here's the trailer we gotta get him on.

[Joe List]

Four will be dead. Yo, what's up, dude? Hey.

[Nikki Glaser]

Hey.

[Joe List]

Thanks for coming through.

[Mark Normand]

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[Joe List]

Hey, how are you, man?

[Mark Normand]

We're hungover.

[Joe List]

Yeah. I think I met you in Montreal, babe, today. Yeah. How are you, man? Yeah.

[Blake Griffin]

Matt, it's me, Matt.

[Mark Normand]

Matt.

[Blake Griffin]

Thanks.

[Mark Normand]

Hey, what's up?

[Nikki Glaser]

Mark.

[Mark Normand]

Nice to meet you.

[Nikki Glaser]

See you.

[Mark Normand]

Hey. Hey, what's up? Good to see you again.

[Joe List]

Yeah. Sit, sit there.

[Mark Normand]

We got you a coffee if you want one.

[Joe List]

Yeah. He said no, but I figure.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, okay.

[Nikki Glaser]

Nice. We watching some best play, watching some.

[Joe List]

Blake Griffin dunks, some highlights, you know.

[Mark Normand]

Take it off, man. Canadian tux, That's a lot of denim. Jay Leno by the way, Jay Leno might be the toughest guy on the planet. He got himself caught on fire. Yeah, doing fine. Then he fell down a hill. Quote, unquote. That's what he says.

[Joe List]

But they looked into it and the story does check out. I know.

[Mark Normand]

And he's still going, still ticking.

[Nikki Glaser]

What was he doing rolling down a hill?

[Joe List]

He tripped, I think.

[Mark Normand]

He was doing a gig in the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvania and he was walking down the Hampton Inn hill to get to the parking lot and he said.

[Joe List]

Because I think it was the only hotel in that area.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, he's got to be close to a billion probably.

[Joe List]

Well, because he never touched that Tonight show money, they said.

[Mark Normand]

And just his car collection alone is got to be worth a lot.

[Joe List]

Yeah, he and Jerry with the cars. Yeah, they love give a about cars.

[Nikki Glaser]

He's a pirate too.

[Joe List]

Looks like number two in like the second Austin.

[Mark Normand]

Oh yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Number three.

[Mark Normand]

Number three. Look at that. Another TV show host in blackface.

[Nikki Glaser]

He's.

[Joe List]

This is rough.

[Mark Normand]

He doesn't drink. He's had the same wife since high school. I mean he's like the most straight edge guy, but he has. I think the cars is like, I want to get laid, but I can't.

[Joe List]

You just fix shit.

[Mark Normand]

So you just fix it and buy cars. That's my theory.

[Joe List]

Are you a car guy, Blake?

[Nikki Glaser]

I'm not really.

[Joe List]

Me neither.

[Nikki Glaser]

I like, I just. Yeah, I appreciate people who have like nice cars, but I just like just drive an old car. Like, I don't know, it just seems like inconvenient.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it is. I have an old car and it's a bitch.

[Nikki Glaser]

What kind of car do you have?

[Mark Normand]

I got an old Beamer, a 1973 and it's a cool ass car. It runs great, but it just. In New York, I gotta maintain it. I gotta garage it. It's hell.

[Nikki Glaser]

I do have an. I have a 72 Bronco.

[Joe List]

Can you pull one of those? What they look like up? They look really cool.

[Nikki Glaser]

Which is. It's really fun to drive, but it's also kind of like every time I hit the gas pedal I'm like this, It's. This is the last drive.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, exactly. You can enjoy it.

[Nikki Glaser]

Make it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe List]

Those look awesome.

[Mark Normand]

That's a beauty. God damn.

[Joe List]

I would just trash. And now we're just like. That's fucking.

[Nikki Glaser]

I don't really like car old cars, man.

[Mark Normand]

Can't go wrong with that one. It's funny how O.J. happened.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, look, there's a. Wait, how did that work? Oh, that's the. What's going on here? Why is there a picture of me?

[Blake Griffin]

Oh, was there Plus Bronco.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, gosh.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. There you are.

[Blake Griffin]

I was looking for yours.

[Mark Normand]

OJ Happened. The Bronco went away. And then enough time went by. We're like, yeah, I'll bring the Bronco back. Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

I moved to Brentwood and I was like, you know what? Do I need a white Bronco? Yeah, got a white Bronco.

[Mark Normand]

Fuck it.

[Nikki Glaser]

You play.

[Joe List]

How long do you play in la?

[Nikki Glaser]

Was like, eight years, Nine years in la? Yeah. Two and a half in Detroit.

[Joe List]

How does that trade feel? What was the trade again?

[Nikki Glaser]

It was me for Avery Bradley Bobon. You know, the seven I love Bob. Yeah. John Wick and Tobias Harris and, like, a pick or two. Damn, though.

[Joe List]

You're worth more than that, though.

[Nikki Glaser]

And I. Thanks, man. I appreciate that. I actually needed to hear that to buy these.

[Mark Normand]

These players are like Amish people.

[Joe List]

To buy his. Harris is a good player.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, okay.

[Joe List]

Blake was. I mean, still putting up crazy numbers, man. It was.

[Nikki Glaser]

I needed that, too.

[Mark Normand]

Thank you.

[Nikki Glaser]

How about the Knicks last night, huh?

[Mark Normand]

You're on a.

[Joe List]

Don't it.

[Mark Normand]

You were on a run. You had a good run.

[Nikki Glaser]

Just the most miserable fans in all of sp. Always, always upset. Always.

[Joe List]

I'm thrilled. Dude. Upset. Now we got Jalen Brunson and Cat. I. I love this. I love Josh Hart.

[Nikki Glaser]

I know.

[Joe List]

This is the coolest team since the 90s.

[Nikki Glaser]

No, it'll be one of the best teams to lose in the second round.

[Joe List]

And do you really think we're gonna lose in the second round?

[Nikki Glaser]

I mean, it depends on your matchup, but, yeah. Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

You heard it here first.

[Nikki Glaser]

They're all gonna be. Don't be another. I'm sorry.

[Joe List]

Well, you're gonna be on Amazon next year with Dirk. Congrats, by the way. But, like, don't be another fucking show that just trashes my Knicks. Barkley and Shaq are such haters, man.

[Nikki Glaser]

I'm not gonna. I. My plan is to not trash the Knicks or any team for that matter. You know what I will do? I will go at GMs, I will go at owners, and I will go at coaches to a certain extent.

[Mark Normand]

That's fair.

[Nikki Glaser]

Because I'm just tired of, like. And this is probably, like, the former player just being like. I'm just like. I was just sick of those guys. Just on us every opportunity. Clippers? Well, no, just players in general. Like, I think that's just what the TNT guys do. And that's probably the best sports show maybe, of all time.

[Joe List]

It might be the best show of all. It's insane.

[Nikki Glaser]

It's incredible.

[Joe List]

Like, but you and Dirk is, is. That is an awesome. Dirk is. I love Dirk.

[Nikki Glaser]

I'm excited to hear his, like, just like, his. We don't hear him, like, that's true that much. Right? Like, you don't hear him, like, especially since he's retired, you don't hear his, like, analysis, but his, like, his, his brain, his, his basketball IQ is insanely high. I'm excited to, like, hear him give.

[Mark Normand]

Takes insights.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

I gotta ask you, because you said you're not gonna, you're gonna try not to shit on players like, what, what do you make of this Shaq vs. Dwight Howard beef that just won't die?

[Nikki Glaser]

I just, like, I don't know. So I had this same thing about when LeBron Miami. I was just like, you know, and everybody was just on everything he did. Right. And it was just kind of like. It kind of sucks because you guys aren't appreciating how good he is. And that was, like, truly the height of his career.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like, he was, he was unbelievable in Miami, and people were just on.

[Joe List]

I was one of the people. I hated him.

[Nikki Glaser]

I, I mean, I, I, I, I, I guess I get it to a certain extent, but it's also, like, separate what he did to, like, who he is as a player and just appreciate how good he is.

[Joe List]

I did. I see. I think I felt like I was doing both of those things. I was like, this guy. But also like, oh, my God, that's incredible. You know?

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. Which is like. I don't know. I feel like people lost, like, three, four years of his career where people were just like, they hated, Hated him.

[Joe List]

That's true. I think that's a good point.

[Nikki Glaser]

And it's like, you kind of gotta, like, I get that you don't like the guy for, like, what he did, but, like, also, like, appreciate how good he is. Yeah. It's like, it's two sides.

[Mark Normand]

I still think Bronnie's better than LeBron. Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Sleep for a while. But he's gonna get out. He's gonna, he's trying.

[Mark Normand]

He's got some hot girlfriends. I don't know if they're never great.

[Nikki Glaser]

When that's, like, the first.

[Joe List]

Oh, man. I wanted to ask you about that FX show. Did you watch it? The one about the Clippers?

[Nikki Glaser]

I was, I became friendly with Wayne Gretzky.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, nice.

[Nikki Glaser]

He. He thinks that show is the best show that came out on tv. And he's like, he's like, you gotta watch it, you gotta watch it. So we're in, we're out at this, this golf tournament and he's like, hey, just, just come here. Oh, put away.

[Joe List]

That's supposed to be Doc Rivers, right?

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's doc.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Ed O'Neill is Donald Sterling.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, wow.

[Nikki Glaser]

This is like a real. That was like a real clip like that. That, that was actually the one thing that I watched that like actually happened now. That White party that, that Donald Sterling has.

[Mark Normand]

Right. Oh, this looks fun. I haven't even heard of this.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, but was it bad? Well, so like, obviously Ed O'Neill and Laurence Fishburne were great.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

After that, it, it takes a sharp.

[Joe List]

Because you got to cast basketball guys.

[Nikki Glaser]

DeAndre Jordan's character is six, one almost seven foot guy. Right. You're looking at like a dude who's just clearly, you know, just a very average height guy.

[Mark Normand]

It looks, well, like big production, like high quality.

[Nikki Glaser]

But yeah, I Honestly, I watched 15 minutes of the first episode with Wayne and I was like, I can't watch.

[Joe List]

Wait, Wayne Gretzky made you watch?

[Nikki Glaser]

Made him passive. Yeah. By the way, that was his, his third time watching the show.

[Mark Normand]

Jeez.

[Nikki Glaser]

He's like, you gotta watch this.

[Joe List]

Well, the thing is, like, I'm like the target audience for a show like this. And I was like, I don't want to watch this. I listen, I listened to the. There was one, the podcast I listened to. I think you were on it.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. Ramona Shelburne did.

[Joe List]

That was good.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joe List]

But it's like.

[Nikki Glaser]

So that's how they sold the show.

[Joe List]

Of course, because no one will buy anything without IP now. But. But that's funny that, like, this show didn't need to be made.

[Nikki Glaser]

No.

[Mark Normand]

Well, winning time, I think did pretty good.

[Nikki Glaser]

Winning time was great.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that was good.

[Joe List]

But the basketball scenes were still like, you know. But somehow they cast a guy that looked like magic and Kareem.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Like, that's great. Those two guys were amazing.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. And you see the thing, the behind the scenes, how they shot the basketball.

[Joe List]

Yeah. They were on skates or something.

[Nikki Glaser]

Rollerblades. And he was like, he's really. I don't. I thought Winning time. Yeah.

[Joe List]

That book is awesome too.

[Nikki Glaser]

That I didn't read.

[Joe List]

That Jeff Pearl book is like, it's crazy. I mean, any stories about Pat Riley or fucking. There were rumors about you going to the Heat for a while. Were you ever like, did you ever want to go to Miami or. No.

[Nikki Glaser]

A little. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Look at these on rollerblades.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

That's kind of a cool idea.

[Nikki Glaser]

So I think that, like, I don't know, I think. I think, to be honest, like, I'm a tough critic on. On sports, scripted shows.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

And I thought that it was like, it was. It was better than anything I've seen recently.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

All right.

[Nikki Glaser]

Basketball.

[Joe List]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I feel the same way about stand up movies. Anytime you watch a movie, stand up and you're like, ah, that would never happen. No one has lockers in the green room, you know.

[Joe List]

Oh, yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Good set out there, man.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly.

[Nikki Glaser]

Why are they changing clothes? Yeah, just.

[Joe List]

It's a hard thing to write. It's hard to write comedians because it just feels like you're forcing them to, like, rib on each other too much. No. We also can just hang out and.

[Mark Normand]

They'Re all doing blow and hookers and you're like, we're all crying and sad. Ms. Maisel did a pretty good job, but that was about it.

[Nikki Glaser]

That was actually pretty good.

[Mark Normand]

That was pretty good. Yeah. I mean, a funny woman.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

What is this, Lord of the Rings? Kidding. Nikki did great.

[Nikki Glaser]

This is fantasy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Nikki killed it. I assume you hooked up with her.

[Nikki Glaser]

No, no, no. Got a lot of respect for her, though. She's a great gal.

[Mark Normand]

Great gal. Very funny.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. I mean, she's. She's just been on a run, killing it. I mean, she's always been like, roast. She's always killed it. And then like, that Tom Brady roast, like, put her.

[Mark Normand]

Yep.

[Nikki Glaser]

And now, you know, like, I assume, like, she's just on the fast track to whatever she wants.

[Mark Normand]

Now arenas, I think is. She's gonna be doing arenas. She's gonna be huge.

[Nikki Glaser]

I think, honestly, like, I don't see much of her stand up, but I see all of her, like, roast on.

[Joe List]

Hbo, they fucking hide everything or Max or whatever.

[Mark Normand]

She has a ton of stand up. I think she has like six specials or something.

[Nikki Glaser]

I just don't see, like, you know, you see like clips of everybody.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Nikki Glaser]

Like, all, like. I just don't see much of her stand up, but I see all of her roast stuff.

[Mark Normand]

It might be geared towards the ladies more. Maybe not hitting your algo because it's a lot of like. So then I swallowed the guy's jizz and like.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, yeah, I'm following.

[Joe List]

Yeah, no, no, I'm looking stuff like that up all the time.

[Nikki Glaser]

Your search history is just full of just as well.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. 1.7 billion.

[Joe List]

It's insane.

[Nikki Glaser]

I heard that their budget for the Tom Brady live roast was like 40 million.

[Joe List]

That makes sense.

[Mark Normand]

And they got to pay all those players, but, like, those.

[Nikki Glaser]

The people in the roast don't get paid that much. No, that's got paid a lot. But then they. They blew it out for, like, marketing for, you know. I assume that doing live stuff on Netflix is insanely expensive.

[Joe List]

What do you think? The budget for the one we just did was 500 easily. That was rough.

[Mark Normand]

Bad.

[Nikki Glaser]

Was that Jeff Ross's, like, thing?

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Joe List]

End of the year thing?

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he was directed it pretty much. He was high the whole time. It was. It was a mess.

[Joe List]

But, yeah, it's hard to roast people who aren't in the room. So we just focus on, like, Diddy and Luigi because we're like, you gotta pick people in prison if you're not gonna. If they're not here.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Joe List]

What are we gonna do? Roast Machine Gun Kelly? We don't give a shit.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. Punched down people who can't. Who can't say anything back.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Diddy and Luigi.

[Mark Normand]

It did feel like the Taylor Swift jokes got a little, like, all right from the audience. Like, hey, hey, that's our girl. Yeah.

[Joe List]

We had a bunch written and we were working them out, and they were not working. People were like, what the fuck?

[Nikki Glaser]

Really?

[Joe List]

Taylor Swift. It is hard to segue Diddy to T. Swift.

[Mark Normand]

That's true.

[Joe List]

In their defense, I was like, that. We could have worked on that.

[Mark Normand]

Both have screaming girls at their parties.

[Joe List]

That was one that we cut. What was. I had another one. Like, yeah, she. She crossed more. She broke more barriers than a girl from Oklahoma trying to get an out of state abortion that didn't make it. They cut a lot of ones.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, that's.

[Joe List]

We had a bunch of T. Swift ones that didn't make the cut.

[Nikki Glaser]

How much did they cut?

[Joe List]

A good amount.

[Mark Normand]

Good amount.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like, how many minutes did you guys do?

[Mark Normand]

We probably did 11.

[Joe List]

11. And they probably did seven or.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. So not bad.

[Joe List]

Not bad.

[Mark Normand]

Better than most.

[Joe List]

Do you get tapped to do a lot of comedy stuff because you did, like, Broad City.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Joe List]

Good in comedy.

[Nikki Glaser]

I also. I just love. I love. I love comedy. Love it. I will always, like, you know, do any. I just. I watch. I watch insanely, like, random comedies.

[Joe List]

Oh, give us some. What do you watch?

[Nikki Glaser]

I mean, like, I follow, like, stand up, like, a lot. And like, my whole algorithm is probably, like, every. Every fourth video is just, like, a random comedian.

[Mark Normand]

Hey, I love it.

[Nikki Glaser]

Go down the rabbit hole. And. And. And. I don't know. I just.

[Blake Griffin]

I love the other three things in the algorithm.

[Nikki Glaser]

Sports Fantasy football.

[Mark Normand]

And if you go to my huge titties, you go to my Explore page. It's just twerking tits and Norm MacDonald.

[Nikki Glaser]

Should we just. Should we just take a. Should we take a gander? Oh, Norm is just all over my. My. For you, page.

[Mark Normand]

The king. Yeah, but you did my show at New York Comedy club. I don't know, 2019. Yeah. And that was. That was fun to watch.

[Nikki Glaser]

That was. Yeah, I was doing. I was going to just for laughs right after that. So I was, like, trying to work out some stuff for it, and surprisingly great delivery.

[Mark Normand]

You had timing, and you tell. You worked it out.

[Nikki Glaser]

That means a lot.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it was good. And not to mention, it's a bunch of fat, bearded, dopey guys. And then you show up and it's. Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

I think that said, I was, like, really leaning into, like, I under. I get it. It's. I. I understand. So weird that I'm here right now.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Also, like, the fact that somebody would be like. And, you know, up to the stage, Blake Griffin, and people clap. I'm like, why are you clapping? Like, I could be horrible.

[Mark Normand]

That's true.

[Nikki Glaser]

Going to an NBA game. And like, they're like, all right, now, starting at center, Kevin Hart. You should clap for that. Like, I got screwed.

[Mark Normand]

Pat Oswalt, everybody.

[Joe List]

Didn't Kevin Hart beat Draymond in a shooting competition?

[Nikki Glaser]

They did that. All Star. All Star.

[Joe List]

Draymond's. I mean, what. Yeah, Kevin Hart's not bad.

[Mark Normand]

That's embarrassing.

[Joe List]

I mean, look, I don't want to see him in an actual. I did the. The charity game at MSG this year, dude. I gotta give you guys credit. Walking. Going up and down the court is. I had, like, retired NBA players being like, dude, pick it up on defense. I got.

[Nikki Glaser]

It's for charity.

[Joe List]

I know Tim Thomas was like, dude, get back. And I was like, like, I'm sorry I didn't play in the.

[Nikki Glaser]

Jamal Crawford playing. That dude.

[Joe List]

He was on our team. He carried us.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, he's.

[Joe List]

He's still incredible.

[Nikki Glaser]

He's insane.

[Joe List]

He's incredible. And he also. I mean, my mom wanted to come, so she's, like, sitting. You know, she's courtside. I'm just, like, playing horribly in front of my mother, which is. But Jamal Crawford's doing, like, spinning threes, and she was like, this guy's incredible. I'm like, it's Jamal Crawford, right?

[Nikki Glaser]

I mean, Jamal. We were. I was talking about this with my brother, but he has to have the. His last game of his career scored 51.

[Joe List]

I know.

[Mark Normand]

Jesus.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like, he was Kobe 60. Well, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. So. Yes. But for last games of your career.

[Joe List]

Dude, Jamal, I was such a fan of his. And I mean, you play with him for that whole time, right? That's crazy.

[Nikki Glaser]

He's awesome. He's just.

[Joe List]

He's calling Knicks games and he's doing such a good job. Like, none of us want to see Walt Frazier go, but you know, cuz we love him, but like, if eventually he will. And it's like we're spoiled with him and Alan Hahn, who are both great.

[Nikki Glaser]

Well, I mean, you guys have Walt Frazier and Breen. Like, just like, that's like an unreal regional or a team specific, like, broad. Like, it's insane.

[Joe List]

It's unreal. I've gotten Mark into basketball in like the last like couple years. And I have to like, explain Walt Frazier him, like, how cool Walt, like.

[Nikki Glaser]

The outfits whirling is that. I don't. How does he keep coming up with this stuff?

[Blake Griffin]

It's not embarrassing. Can I play some of your highlights for Mark?

[Nikki Glaser]

Sure.

[Blake Griffin]

Okay.

[Joe List]

Oh. Oh, my God. He was a stud, Darren.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, dude.

[Joe List]

He was a.

[Nikki Glaser]

You talk about. You talk about. It was just bl. Wow. Couple of. Couple of defensive highlights. I don't really get that too often. Wasn't really known for.

[Mark Normand]

Damn, dude.

[Joe List]

Oh, this is. That's on my Knicks. I remember that, Tim. I watched that in a bar.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Joe List]

And you were like super young here, right?

[Nikki Glaser]

That was my rookie year.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh.

[Joe List]

Because I remember. I remember being like, who the fuck is this guy?

[Nikki Glaser]

That game right there is like the game that I. I always kind of like, tell people. Like, my life completely changed after that game.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Joe List]

How did it change?

[Nikki Glaser]

It just went like, you know, like you play in college, you get drafted, you start playing. You, you know, you think like, all right, like, you know, like people. The basketball world like knows who you are. And then that game was just like. It just went like through the roof.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like usually, like walking around, like, people would just come up to me talking about that dunk or like that game. And it was like, by the way, it kind of goes unnoticed, but like Amara. I think amari had like 47 on me that game. And it was just. I could do nothing with him. That was when he was just on.

[Joe List]

A. I loved him, dude. I. So I remember that game because I remember you had another like spinning dunk that game, and Amari, like, kind of. It cut to Amari at the free throw line, like, like, like his way of being like, oh, this kid's awesome.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Damn.

[Nikki Glaser]

But he was also just. I mean, he. He dunked on me something vicious.

[Joe List]

Amari was so good that year.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, dude, he was.

[Joe List]

I loved him.

[Nikki Glaser]

He was. He was.

[Joe List]

Best Jewish basketball player.

[Mark Normand]

Hey, is that right?

[Joe List]

Oh, yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

He converted.

[Joe List]

There we go.

[Mark Normand]

I knew something was up. Thank you.

[Nikki Glaser]

Wasn't born into it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joe List]

I think our next best is Dolph shays from the 50s.

[Nikki Glaser]

Now we got Omri Caspie.

[Joe List]

Oh, y. He's good. Jordan Farm.

[Nikki Glaser]

Our Jew, Jordan Farmer.

[Joe List]

Our first team Jew is not as bad as you think it would be.

[Mark Normand]

It's like saying Dave Chappelle's the coolest Muslim.

[Nikki Glaser]

What I just realized is, you know Denny Advia?

[Joe List]

Oh, yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

He's. He's from Israel. Not Jewish.

[Mark Normand]

What?

[Joe List]

He's not Jewish.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. I just learned. Oh, I. By the way, I should probably preface this with the person that I heard this from is a complete idiot. So I don't.

[Mark Normand]

I don't.

[Nikki Glaser]

I don't know if I can trust him.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Joe List]

He's under Jewish players.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, maybe it's.

[Joe List]

Maybe it's.

[Mark Normand]

Maybe he converted out the Gaza. Shit. He flew the coop.

[Nikki Glaser]

Well, hold on. Amari Bailey. How is he Jewish? Is he Jewish?

[Joe List]

We're just adding people this point, Stoudemire.

[Nikki Glaser]

I don't think anybody's gonna notice.

[Joe List]

Kevin Garnett. Wait a second.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, you got a lady in there.

[Nikki Glaser]

Who is that? Camila?

[Mark Normand]

A lady and a Jew. This could be tough.

[Nikki Glaser]

That's. That's a. That's a. Oh, Blake Peters. A fellow Blake.

[Mark Normand]

Hey.

[Blake Griffin]

That's a short list.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

What's that joke? An airplane. Here, I need some light reading. Well, here's a pamphlet on Jewish athletes. You know what was cool for me watching you back in those days was I thought you were full white. So I was like, holy shit, we got one. Here we go.

[Nikki Glaser]

No. And then a little bit of a facade.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. It was exciting for a while.

[Nikki Glaser]

Sort of a chameleon that way. It's kind of blended.

[Joe List]

Everyone's claiming you.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's kind of cool.

[Nikki Glaser]

I always. I had a joke in stand up. I was like. I'm like. Like Undercover Boss, but only for finding out who's racist. Like, especially on airplanes, people are like, hey, brother, how you doing? Oh, yeah, get to talking. Yeah, I mean, you know, she's. You know, they're taking over. You're like. You're like, oh, he doesn't realize that I'm half black.

[Mark Normand]

Right? Have you had an N bomb where they didn't know?

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. Of course.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Nikki Glaser]

Of course.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, geez.

[Nikki Glaser]

Well, I don't. Yeah. I don't.

[Mark Normand]

From a white guy.

[Nikki Glaser]

I mean, I've had plenty in bombs.

[Joe List]

Mark used to have a great joke about when someone's racist to you. It's like a weird feeling because you're like, well, this is up. But I can't believe how much he trusts me.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, that's true.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, it is. It is nice.

[Mark Normand]

It's kind of comforting. But also, you know, when.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like when. When a black dude calls you. Calls you inward for the first time.

[Mark Normand]

You'Re like, oh, great feeling.

[Joe List]

Yeah. One of my best moments.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. You always remember your first time.

[Mark Normand]

That's true.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

That is nice.

[Joe List]

I love that.

[Nikki Glaser]

The Whites.

[Joe List]

The Chappelle show sketch where he did the black white supremacist, you know?

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Joe List]

And he calls me. He calls the kids the N word. And they all high five, Right?

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I think that might have been Bill Burr.

[Nikki Glaser]

Bill Burr.

[Mark Normand]

I think he was in the. In the car. The convertible, maybe.

[Nikki Glaser]

It was really. Yes, that's Bill Burr.

[Joe List]

He was in a ton. He was in the race.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah?

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. What's he say? He's like, so and so wide again, and they go, like, so good.

[Mark Normand]

So good.

[Nikki Glaser]

Bill Burr was in a. Yeah, he's in a decent fur with hair.

[Mark Normand]

I think that was a Neil Brennan joint. The Clayton Bigsby. That's.

[Joe List]

He's your buddy.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. I met Neil 2000. I think it was 2011 ESPYs. He was writing for Seth Meyers.

[Mark Normand]

Huh.

[Nikki Glaser]

And I met him doing a sketch. And then after that, I just. We just. Yeah, he kind of became my, like, mentor.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like, he just kind of, like, took me under his wing. He was like, the one person that was like, you. You got. You got to start, like, writing stuff. Like, start. Just write. Write jokes. And so he convinced me to kind of, like, keep a notes folder of, like, jokes, and I had nothing to do with it forever. And then I decided to, like, do some stand up, which is, like, an insane idea.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Terrifying. Terrifying.

[Mark Normand]

Well, you took it easier. Oh, yeah, it does get easier. You still can't ever crack it 100, but it does get easy.

[Joe List]

But also you. But you still bomb. Like. I. I bomb all the time because I'm. I'm trying new shit, which you're like, oh, my God. Still. I did three. The. I did New Joke Night, the Cellar last night, and I just watched Louie Bomb, but we all bombed. I mean, it was like, they were a tough crowd. And if you're doing new shit, you're gonna bomb. But it's like, man, what a privilege to get to watch Louie eat shit. I know one of the best minds ever and some of them were hilarious, but they're just, they'll be great in like a week or two.

[Mark Normand]

They're not ready yet.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. How often are you guys going up? Like, right, like this week? How many times will you go up?

[Mark Normand]

I did two last night. I got three tonight.

[Nikki Glaser]

Wow.

[Joe List]

I think three last night, two tonight. For me, I'm up. I'm up every night this week. But yeah, I just. I'm in writing mode cuz I'm going hard on tour next month.

[Nikki Glaser]

Doing new. Yeah.

[Joe List]

So I just got. I mean, I'm starting like a 50 city tour, so I gotta. It's gotta be new and good and.

[Nikki Glaser]

Are you like, Are you like. I thought of this on the walk over or the.

[Mark Normand]

Sure. Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

I'm just gonna. I'll just. I'll do it.

[Mark Normand]

Definitely. And sometimes that does better than the shit you worked on for six hours.

[Joe List]

I saw you on Norm show back in the day.

[Nikki Glaser]

What?

[Joe List]

It was you and DeAndre?

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Is DeAndre a funny guy?

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, he's hilarious.

[Joe List]

He seems like a cool dude.

[Nikki Glaser]

DeAndre was like the guy who, like, is like. So he just. It's like effortless for him to, like, walk into a room and like, make these people feel like he's like, connected with them and make a joke and then walk into like a completely different demographic of a room and like, fit in there. And he's. He was like the guy that kind of like kept us all together, kept things light. He's. He's very, very funny.

[Joe List]

Is this a clip? Oh, this is a great clip. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, this went viral.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, yeah. Is this a really good question, Norm?

[Mark Normand]

You're already into it.

[Nikki Glaser]

From.

[Mark Normand]

From Blake's good friend Norm Blake.

[Joe List]

It's fun watching, watching this year. Wasn't it cool?

[Mark Normand]

And I was wondering, like, there's a.

[Joe List]

Kind of a curse with Rookie of the year. Nobody's ever repeated it.

[Mark Normand]

That's cute.

[Nikki Glaser]

As hard as I can next year. I don't know. I don't know. Thank you for that question.

[Joe List]

That's great.

[Nikki Glaser]

He just showed up to. That was my rookie of the Year, like, press conference. Like, when I got the award, he just showed up.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Nikki Glaser]

No one was like, hey, Norm's coming. He just showed up and just sat in the audience and just raised. They're like, does anybody have any questions? And he's just like, boom. First one.

[Mark Normand]

Did you see him ahead of time?

[Nikki Glaser]

I don't even think I did. Wow.

[Mark Normand]

That's crazy because I had no.

[Nikki Glaser]

I. I didn't. I didn't realize. Maybe I saw him like from a distance like before everybody sat down. But yeah.

[Joe List]

Were you a big norm guy Guy?

[Nikki Glaser]

Hugh. I mean, he. He's like one of my all time favorites.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Same is.

[Nikki Glaser]

He is the. I. You know what's crazy? I just heard. You know that moth joke that he told? Yes, I just heard. Was it Colin Quinn?

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Nikki Glaser]

Hold him. The joke. And it was just. It's a very short.

[Mark Normand]

It's like 30 seconds.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. And he made it into a 10 minute joke. Yeah, it was eight minutes. Whatever.

[Mark Normand]

Because Conan was like, oh, we got to stretch a little bit. Somebody didn't come, so I guess didn't show up. So he's like, I got it. And he just pulled that like five, six.

[Nikki Glaser]

I can't imagine trying to just turn a 30 second joke into eight minutes. And it was all funny.

[Mark Normand]

I know it's funny.

[Nikki Glaser]

I mean, I guess. Yeah. Some of it you're just like, what the.

[Joe List]

What's happening?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he's a kook.

[Nikki Glaser]

Speaking of Neil Brennan, he's the one who. Remember when he takes. When Clayton Bixby takes his. His hood off?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Neil's face is the one that blows up. Remember? Do you remember that? At the end of the sketch?

[Joe List]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Can you get to that?

[Mark Normand]

I forgot about that again.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, my God. I didn't realize.

[Mark Normand]

Maybe that wasn't Bill Bur.

[Joe List]

Imagine going out for that casting part as a white dude.

[Nikki Glaser]

Bilber is in this.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Nikki Glaser]

In this sketch.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

You. You want to see my face? Oh, yeah, right. It.

[Joe List]

This was the pilot.

[Mark Normand]

There he is. That's right. That was a young, young Brennan. There was cookie and punch for us to enjoy and we can make. Talk about white brotherhood. That's incredible.

[Joe List]

Imagine putting this in the pilot. I mean, this is like ballsy.

[Mark Normand]

That was fun.

[Joe List]

Great sketch.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I watched this in college with like 18 friends. It was huge.

[Nikki Glaser]

Dude, that. So this came out when I was in high school and it was like one of those shows that, like, if you. It was. Came out on Wednesday nights. If you didn't watch that.

[Mark Normand]

Yep.

[Nikki Glaser]

Thursday you were left out of the conversation. Everybody was just repeating and. And quoting that show.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Ashley, Larry, when Wayne Brady said the N word.

[Joe List]

Charlie Murphy, dude.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Paul Mooney.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe List]

I mean, that was. That was a fun show, man. We were watching it last time on the tour bus and like all these sketches. Hold up, player haters ball. Like they all. Hold up.

[Mark Normand]

Prince.

[Joe List]

Prince. Oh, my God, that one was incredible.

[Nikki Glaser]

Even the ones that they, like, said, like, didn't work out as well. Remember when they had the player haters ball where they time traveled and they ended up turning it into, like, they, I think they were doing, like, sketches that didn't work out. Even those were just, like, incredible.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it was such a loose show too. There was one scene where Chappelle, he talks up front and then a girl's tit pops out.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And they did a whole thing on that. It was like a blooper.

[Nikki Glaser]

He's like, come on, titty. Come on, titty.

[Joe List]

What do you. What are you, like, all time comedy? Like, if you're, if you were on the road as a player and you need like a comfort watch before bed, what were you throwing on?

[Nikki Glaser]

Kind of depends. Like, I mean, I love the Office. I love Arrested Development. I love, like, like, I could just kind of go down. I've always been a huge SNL fan. Even, like, I, I was like, just powering through, like, the bad years. Just like, I'd watch every episode and just like, hope that, like, there was. I mean, I think, I think this season is, is as good as it's.

[Mark Normand]

Been and it's, it's cooking right now.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Blake Griffin]

Were you ever on the short list to host?

[Nikki Glaser]

It's. It's really hard for a basketball player because you, you basically have to like, host the, the first episode of the year. And that's, like, always reserved. Like LeBron did, I think the first episode.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

And that's.

[Joe List]

You know, you're made for it though, man.

[Mark Normand]

I know, right?

[Nikki Glaser]

I. I love snl. Love comedy.

[Joe List]

If you listen, we've had, we've had SNL people on the list. Blake Griffin, man.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. Come on, guys.

[Joe List]

Lauren, what's, what's going on now? You could do it Amazon, right? You got something.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's true.

[Nikki Glaser]

Come on, guys.

[Mark Normand]

What the hell?

[Nikki Glaser]

Got some good ideas.

[Joe List]

Besides you, who's a really funny NBA player?

[Nikki Glaser]

All right, so there's like, there's tears, right? There's the guys who aren't trying to be funny that are funny.

[Joe List]

Like Kawhi.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would say, like, everybody's every. Everybody had that run of, like, man, Kawhi's hilarious. And it's kind of like you're like, is he, though.

[Joe List]

Pull up a clip of, of Kawhi's laughing. I mean, he's like, awkward funny, right?

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, I mean. Yeah. And I, I honestly don't know him personally really well.

[Joe List]

I mean, I love him. I freaking love his game. This is great.

[Nikki Glaser]

Have you seen this? Oh, man, I'm a fun guy. Obviously, I love the game of basketball. I mean, it's just more questions you have to ask me in order for me to tell you about myself. I just can't give you a whole spill. Sitting at.

[Mark Normand]

What the hell?

[Joe List]

One of the best. One of the most talented players.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, he's insane.

[Joe List]

I mean, he's insane.

[Nikki Glaser]

I mean, I've heard, like, from his teammates. Like, he's. He's fun and funny and, like, loose and. But, like.

[Joe List]

But it's all awkward.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Autistics are great.

[Nikki Glaser]

Who else is funny? You know who's really funny? Jamal Crawford is hilarious. He. He speaks in, like. He always has, like, these sayings where he's like. He goes, mm, fam. Did you talk to him at all when you were.

[Joe List]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Nikki Glaser]

He probably didn't give you the whole. But he's like, fam. You know what? You know, there's lines on the highway for a reason, so everybody doesn't go. Like, he just says stuff, and he's like, how did you come up with it? He just, like, has all these, like, kind of old man sayings.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

He always starts like, mm, fam.

[Mark Normand]

He's got a catchphrase.

[Nikki Glaser]

Dude, he is. He's hilarious.

[Mark Normand]

It's hard to beat Barkley as a funny guy.

[Nikki Glaser]

Dude, Barkley so funny. He's just so good. I was. I was. I. I was at a golf event, and he was there, and we would go, like, excuse me. Sit at the bar at night, and he would, like. He just, like, entertains, and people come up to him, and he's so good with, like. He's just like, hey, yeah, bro. And he makes people feel special, and he goes back to his thing. It's like. It's. It's like a true talent. Yeah. It's like. It's truly incredible, like, how good he is with people. Oh, it's insane.

[Joe List]

I mean, Ernie is, like, one of the great hosts at anything. I mean, it's.

[Nikki Glaser]

It.

[Joe List]

That's another skill, too, to make. Put everyone at ease, you know?

[Nikki Glaser]

Dude. So at this golf thing, the TNT was putting it on, and I got to be on the desk, like, when. When Chuck was out playing, like, I kind of filled in for him.

[Joe List]

And that was with Nate, too.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, I was playing with Nate and watching Ernie navigate just, like, the dull moments and just bring people in and ask a question and throw it to this and Read a RITA sponsorship. Like, it was insane.

[Joe List]

Wow.

[Nikki Glaser]

He's so good at it. Yeah. It's like, such a special skill that, like, I don't think people realize how good he is at it.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. Well, Shaq is funny, but he wants to be funny. So to me, that takes him out of it a little bit. Whereas Barkley seems funny naturally.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I, I, I agree. And Shaq is just like, just on guys.

[Joe List]

It's insane. I kind of feel bad for Dwight.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, really?

[Joe List]

Kind of, like, feelings are.

[Nikki Glaser]

You're like, leave him alone, dude. He's. He's actually a nice guy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he is.

[Nikki Glaser]

Actually. He didn't know the candle. To me, you're just like, that's funny. But also like, God, dude.

[Joe List]

Like, but it's tough when a dude who, like, has all the accolades Shaq has is just shitting on people who have so many less.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Nikki Glaser]

Probably the most. I mean, he's the most dominant player of all time.

[Joe List]

I think so. Yeah. I mean, and then Dwight is. Was a great player.

[Nikki Glaser]

Dwight was unbelievable. Yeah, Dwight used to. My. The first time I really, like, got my, like, bell rung, like, hard. Dwight Howard, like, went up and goaltended one of my shots and came down. And he used to, like, when he would, like, like, jump and come down, I, I don't know if he was doing it on purpose, but he would just, he would just let his elbows just fly. And I took a Dwight Howard elbow, like, to the temple. And I remember, like, just kind of like, going back, and it was the first time I saw, like, actual stars.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

And I was kind of like, whoa. Like, I was just like, completely taken aback. He was so strong. It was like, it made you feel like, like a little kid.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, geez.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like, where you're just kind of like a little bit helpless. Yeah, just like, like he could pick you up and my feet would just be dangling, like, no, put me down. Yeah, like, he was, it was, it was nuts playing against him. And it's like, prime.

[Mark Normand]

What about the craziest game of the last 10 years? Jimmy Kimmel versus Ted Cruz. You guys see that? You didn't see this?

[Joe List]

This is right. I mean, both of them are off, but Kimmel's really gets. Gets lit up here. It's unfortunate.

[Mark Normand]

He grew up in Brooklyn. He's a, he played ball.

[Joe List]

Who did?

[Mark Normand]

Kimmel.

[Joe List]

Oh, really?

[Nikki Glaser]

But Ted Cruz.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Mixing it up with the Brooklyn.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Ted Cruz used to Rock on West 4th, right.

[Nikki Glaser]

What was this for?

[Mark Normand]

Jimmy Kimmel on him on his show. And Ted Cruz is like, well, I'm in better shape than you. And he's like. And then they went back and forth, and they're like, let's do a game and cruise one.

[Nikki Glaser]

That's embarrassing.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Joe List]

It's pretty. I mean, but this is not good. I mean, look, I played with the Rizzler, and even I can say this is bad. Bath basketball.

[Nikki Glaser]

I mean, that was. Man, wheelchair basketball has more. Has more action than this. Cruz has got kind of also. Did they do it in Texas?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, it looks like.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. There's no way. No way Ted Cruz had that many fans.

[Joe List]

This is a home game.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Oh, man. Poor Isaiah Thomas has to watch this.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, man.

[Joe List]

What? Any good drinking stories with players? Like, even off night in the city, and you're like, we're getting. We're getting lit up.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. Yeah. Trying to think. Okay. What can I say? Come on, PR. Come on.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Come on.

[Joe List]

You don't have to name names.

[Mark Normand]

No, no. Britney Spears.

[Nikki Glaser]

I'm trying to. So me. Brittney Griner.

[Joe List]

Crazy night.

[Nikki Glaser]

We're on our way to Russia. Things took a turn. It was actually my hashish oil.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Just tucked it away in her bag, took the fall.

[Mark Normand]

Can you imagine seeing her in a Russian prison as a woman? That would have just been a sight.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, I can imagine. Yeah. That was. What a time.

[Mark Normand]

I know. That was dark.

[Nikki Glaser]

Then we traded her for an arms dealer. Yeah, the Merchant of Death.

[Mark Normand]

That's it.

[Nikki Glaser]

Quite possibly one of the coolest nicknames of all time. You know, if it wasn't for him, you know?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah. It's up there being a.

[Blake Griffin]

Probably okay to play, right?

[Nikki Glaser]

What?

[Joe List]

Why? Because she's topless, you mean? Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

It's on YouTube.

[Nikki Glaser]

Actually. Really good form.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, boy. Anyone else? Hard. This is strange.

[Nikki Glaser]

Wait.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, boy. It's like we're showing Blake JFK footage. Back into the left. Rewind that.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, there's the shooter.

[Mark Normand]

Isn't she. Isn't she dating a guy now?

[Nikki Glaser]

No, no, no.

[Mark Normand]

Okay. I thought she was. She had a relationship with that.

[Nikki Glaser]

No, she's.

[Joe List]

Mark, I'm not saying I have the best gaydar, but that is. That is a lesbian right there.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, Got it.

[Nikki Glaser]

It.

[Joe List]

WNBA is having a moment, though, I feel like.

[Nikki Glaser]

I mean, you know, I mean, Caitlin Clark is.

[Joe List]

She's awesome, right?

[Nikki Glaser]

She's unbelievable.

[Joe List]

It's pretty cool.

[Nikki Glaser]

It's also like. It's. It's just kind of crazy to watch her, like, come in and it was like, the thing that the WNBA has been waiting for.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like, there's great players in the wnba, but, like, she's been like the. Like, she is. She's like, transcended basketball.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

And then everybody was just like, well. Well, we didn't want it like this. You know what? We wanted to be in the spotlight, but hold on.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Nikki Glaser]

It was just kind of like, why aren't you guys just, like, lifting her up?

[Mark Normand]

That's what I'm saying.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

It's awkward, but it's like, I know she's a white lady, but it's like Tiger Woods. It's. You never see a white person in basketball doing this. Well, especially a lady. I mean, he's. He's. What is he tie? Tie in black? Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Is he tie?

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Wow.

[Joe List]

You didn't see the. The racial draft.

[Mark Normand]

I think he's tied.

[Nikki Glaser]

I've always wanted to say this for shizzle. Yeah. I mean, Caitlin. I mean, dude, she is. Holy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Do you. When someone's doing that, do you ever reach out, like, oh, you're killing it or something? Do you ever send a message?

[Nikki Glaser]

I. I feel like people don't. Like, it doesn't really hit the same way when you're retired.

[Mark Normand]

No. Dude, come on.

[Joe List]

I don't know. I mean, you're gonn hall of fame.

[Nikki Glaser]

I hope you're going to see.

[Joe List]

I think you're.

[Mark Normand]

You're in rock and roll.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Right after the Ramones. This guy's. No, he. I think you're making it, dude.

[Nikki Glaser]

I don't know. We'll see. I don't know. It's not one of those things. I truly don't, like, think about it very much. And, like, if it happens, that's awesome. But if it doesn't, I'm not, like, I'm not.

[Joe List]

You know, if you need some guys to look at your speech, throwing a.

[Nikki Glaser]

Joke where, by the way, if I do, that speech will just be. It will just be. Be riddled with just. Just probably the worst jokes you ever heard. But it's just gonna be us. It's gonna be a set.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Who is set, man?

[Nikki Glaser]

It's like, I'm. You know, what. What am I gonna. Basketball gave me everything.

[Blake Griffin]

You know, it's like Michael Jordan's speech.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, yeah. He just.

[Blake Griffin]

Just.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, it's just.

[Joe List]

That's like that Shaq, where it's like, dude, you reached the mountaintop and you won. Why are you so angry?

[Mark Normand]

Never enough.

[Nikki Glaser]

He's going out, like people. Players that people forgot about. He's like Debtliff Shrimp. I remember what you said. But like, that. I mean, that's also like, those guys can't turn it off.

[Joe List]

I know.

[Nikki Glaser]

That's what made him so good.

[Joe List]

Have you met mj?

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe List]

And what's that like?

[Nikki Glaser]

He's awesome. He's just the cool. Like, he's just a guy's guy. He's just. He's. I mean, I've been. I was a Jordan athlete for years, and he's just. He's probably one of the coolest people. That's what, like, adds to his, like, gut thing. Yeah, he's just awesome.

[Mark Normand]

Yep.

[Nikki Glaser]

You don't see many clips where you're like, that was corny. You know what I mean? You'll be like, well, God, he really kind of went at those people, you know, like that. But like, you're never like, yeah, I was. He's just awesome.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, in the last dance when he's playing quarters and they're like, hey, you gotta go on corner, like throwing quarters.

[Nikki Glaser]

Spoken like a true. Stand up. You gotta go on.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's a good point.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like, your set's up in five minutes, Michael.

[Joe List]

They're calling your name.

[Mark Normand]

But, yeah, he was an animal with the. With the gambling.

[Nikki Glaser]

He is awesome. For years, my Michael Jordan story that I would always tell was the Dennis Rodman story that he told in the Last Dance where he went to Vegas. It was like, always my go to, like, you know, what's a Michael Jordan story? And he told that on Last Dance, and now I don't have a good story. It was always like, my, like, all right, you want to hear something cool? I told that story and then he told. I was like, fuck, I got nothing now.

[Joe List]

What was it like? I mean, he's got the Kobe pickup. What was it like being in LA at the same time as Kobe and having to. I mean, you guys were the team. It's weird to be the Clippers, but you guys were the team.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. I mean, you'll never take LA away from the Lakers or the Lakers or whatever. You guys get it. Yeah, yeah. But like, yeah, there was a good stretch of like, the Lakers kind of being pretty down and like, him getting hurt and stuff. But, like, dude, Kobe was. It's in la. It's. He is just. He's. God. Yeah, he is. He's untouchable. It was like, truly like. Like. I don't know how to describe it. Like, he. Like, the first time I. I actually met him, I was doing rehab. My. My first year, I got hurt. I was doing rehab and the lady Was doing my rehab was his. His, like, pt. And so I'm sitting there in the PT clinic, and I remember kind of just like, sitting there. I had, like, heat. You know, you do ice and heat to start. And I'm sitting there, and I kind of, like, look up and, like. Like, the energy in the room shifted. I'm not like a big. Like, the energy has changed. And I was just like, what's going on? Everybody got a little quiet, and I look over, and Kobe's, like, standing at the door, and I was just like, oh, this is. Like, this is. This is different.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like, he just, like, everywhere he went, it was just like. It was. It was so. I don't know. It's like. It was like seeing God.

[Mark Normand]

Sure.

[Nikki Glaser]

You know, it was. It was. It was. It was nuts.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he was. He was a guy. I mean, I do. I would do a theater in la, and I'd be doing great, and then I would do one Kobe joke, and they would boo me.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

So, like, I just couldn't with all that momentum.

[Joe List]

In their defense, the joke was about his death.

[Mark Normand]

It was about a helicopter. But. Yeah, but I really had him in the palm of my hand and then gone. Can I ask you. Oh, sorry.

[Joe List]

No, no, go ahead.

[Mark Normand]

Can I ask you a weird racial question?

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, dude, I've been waiting for this.

[Mark Normand]

All right, all right. So you're what, half and half?

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Okay. I don't know what the term is. Mulatto, but you got it right the first time.

[Joe List]

I think the second's bad.

[Mark Normand]

Do you find that in the. The throes of it, do you kind of. Of go, like, if you're in an interview, do you white it up? And then if you're in the locker room, do you black it up?

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, I think the. The term now, what the kids are saying is code switching.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, that's it.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, I definitely. Yeah, like, it. I'm doing Mellow's podcast right after that. By the way, if you want to see a stark contrast, it's gonna be me with, like, glasses on. I have, like, a chain on. Yeah, Kobe was dope as here.

[Mark Normand]

I'm like, dude, it's like seeing Jesus. God.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. I don't know. You kind of, like, you know, it's natural.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

I don't know. For me, it's like, it was kind of. Kind of natural. Now there's a term for it, code.

[Mark Normand]

Switching, but thank God for the term so I don't have to.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, no, you're still racist.

[Joe List]

But, no, we had Richard Jefferson on here. And I think that was the first time he mentioned the code switching thing. I think he might have asked him the same question.

[Mark Normand]

Is he man mixed?

[Joe List]

No, but he's just black.

[Nikki Glaser]

But he's. He's. I think he's well mixed.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he's.

[Joe List]

He's a pretty funny guy.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, he's great.

[Joe List]

I. I think he's a cool. That was a great, great.

[Mark Normand]

He drank a bottle of scotch.

[Joe List]

Oh, dude. He showed up to the seller that night and he left his wallet here. So he was.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, he was messed.

[Joe List]

He bought a bottle of Lagavulin and I was like, oh, I guess. I guess we're finishing this bottle.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's pretty awesome.

[Joe List]

That was pretty cool.

[Nikki Glaser]

You recorded what I was here. Oh, here. Yeah.

[Joe List]

He was great, man.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. I imagine this is probably the earliest episode you've ever recorded.

[Mark Normand]

I think it is. We mentioned that up, but we're happy.

[Joe List]

To get you in, man. What?

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

I want to ask you a couple more things. I know you got a heart out, but any, Any like, what was your favorite team to be a part of? I'm guessing it's the clips that. But that team always seemed like there was like a dysfunction to it.

[Nikki Glaser]

See, that was kind of like the thing that was like in the media.

[Joe List]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like we. I was actually. I was talking to JJ Redick about like not. Not that long ago, like a month ago. And it was like we were. We were close.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like we all. We liked each other. We like enjoyed spending time. It's just like years of like losing in the playoffs, like kind of eats at you and then like the spotlight and people just trying to tear you apart. Like it, it takes its toll.

[Joe List]

So you weren't as bad as they made?

[Nikki Glaser]

No, no. Like people tried to make it seem like we hated each other. We had bad like we, we. It was like one of the my like all time favorite teams. Like those years. Yeah, we. We had it down. We just never. We never won.

[Joe List]

It was a sick team. I mean, it was like. That's like a. Looking back, that's like a pretty crazy starting line.

[Nikki Glaser]

I mean, CP, JJ, DeAndre Jordan, Jamal Crawford.

[Joe List]

Barnes was a great defender, you know.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, we had, we had unreal. I mean, and there was a stretch too where we had like Lamar Odom, Grant Hill. Like, we had Chauncey Billups. We had like insane names. Yeah. And it was like, it was a. It was a fun run.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

It's got to be bittersweet to be on a team with great players because you're like, this is awesome. We're going to win. Maybe. But also, I got to step it up.

[Nikki Glaser]

I mean, honestly. Yeah, but it's. It's great because it raises your right, you know, you have to be great.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Because otherwise you feel like you're letting people down.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly.

[Joe List]

I mean. I mean, the Sterling thing, I'm sure you've talked about this to death, but, like, I remember that happened during the playoffs. Like, that's when he got. The tape was leaked. That's insane that you're in the playoffs. Did you feel like that really brought you guys together where you're like, all right, we're playing for something.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, it was like an emotional. It like just. It was an emotional drain. So we were playing. We were playing Golden State. We lose game one at home, win game two, go to Golden State, win game three. So now, you know, it's. It's two one. And Friday night we get a text like, hey, like, not emergency meeting, but like, it was a random meeting. So we go downstairs and Doc is like, you know something. We got word that someone's coming out tomorrow about Donald Sterling. They got some something, you know, whatever, you know, business as usual. And we're like, all right, good. I wake up Saturday morning and I think it came out, you know, at like 8:00 East coast time. So I wake up 8:00 West coast time. I have like 174 texts, and I'm like, what the is going on? And Reverend Jesse Jackson had texted me, like, you guys got it. You guys, you guys gotta. You guys gotta boycott. And we're just like. All these people were calling for us to boycott. And we're, we're like, we. We just went the whole season to get to this point. Like, why would we. Why would we boycott now? Yeah, it's not like we're like lining up and being like, all right, Donald Sterling on three. Or just. We're just like, we're playing for ourselves. We're playing for our families, fans, like, and it like, we went out and we. We lost game four, went back home, won game five, went back to Golden State, won game six. Then we won like an emotional game seven. And then who do we play? Oh, Oklahoma City.

[Joe List]

That was like KD, right?

[Nikki Glaser]

KD's MVP year. Oklahoma City one. Game one.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Lost game two. And then we ended up, we were like, up seven with like 40 something seconds to play in game five in Oklahoma City. And like, just complete meltdown. But it was just like, we were like, emotionally drained. Drained from that, like, that. That Donald Sterling thing was like, insane.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Never heard Staples center louder than Game 5. When we came back home, fans were there 45 minutes before tip off.

[Joe List]

Wow.

[Nikki Glaser]

We ran out of the tunnel. They had blacked out all the logos. Everybody was wearing black, which is kind of funny now.

[Joe List]

Sterling was wearing it on his face.

[Nikki Glaser]

But he was like, oh, sweet. Okay, we're doing this.

[Joe List]

Who do you think is more racist? Donald Sterling or just your average fan in Boston?

[Nikki Glaser]

I got a. I got a sweet. I got a soft spot for by.

[Joe List]

Obviously, I've taken my last special there. I love Boston. I just have to throw shade at them. I'm a Knicks fan.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, it's. Yeah, they're. Yeah. You guys have a great team, by the way.

[Joe List]

Can you give me some positivity? I mean, like, I really. Do you really think of their second round exit team?

[Nikki Glaser]

Because I think, well, it depends on their matchup.

[Joe List]

I think the only team that is definitively better than us right now in the east is the Celtics. But. But, like, you know, I think the.

[Nikki Glaser]

Orlando Magic, with everybody hurt, they're better.

[Joe List]

I'd be honest with. They scare me because they. They play. That coach is really good.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, he's great.

[Joe List]

And. And dude, Wagner. The Wagner bros. That sucks. Mo is out this season, but, like, Franz Wagner is incredible.

[Nikki Glaser]

He's nasty.

[Joe List]

He's. Bonchero is incredible. Yeah. Suggs incredible. You know, it sucks all these injuries they have, but that's. That team actually is like a playoff nightmare because of how they were losing. Hardenstein ripped my fucking heart out.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Because of how he played, man. I loved him. Losing Dante really hurt Randall. I've made peace with losing him. I was a Randall supporter until the end. We support ours here in New York, but, like, Cat is ridiculous.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you guys. You guys have a lot of talent. I just. You know what's going to happen probably in the playoffs. Like, they're. They're all going to be dead tired because of Tibs. They're just going to be tired and he's a great coach. They're just going to be tired.

[Joe List]

We just need some depth and then we're okay if we get some depth this time.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. My buddy last night was like, we. We statistically have the best. We have the highest scoring starting five of all time. And my brother Taylor's like, and how's their bench? And he's like, God awful. Like, yeah, it's like, sweet. Yeah.

[Joe List]

But if we get a bench, I think if we get a couple guys.

[Nikki Glaser]

So what are you going to do to get that Trades we still got. So who are you going to trade?

[Joe List]

We'll figure it out. We get Mitchell Robinson back, you know, bring up TJ Warren from the G League. I think. Do you think he could still play? He's only 31.

[Nikki Glaser]

I haven't seen him play in a couple years, so I don't. I don't know. But he's talented.

[Joe List]

Yeah, he's talented. And then we get, you know, I think we bring up Tyler Kolek, give him some more minutes. I know he's a rookie, but I.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like getting real deep right here.

[Joe List]

I know. Healthy, healthy. Deuce makes a big difference. That guy. I love Deuce McBride.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joe List]

Look, the Celtics were only a starting five for a minute too. It took them a second to figure out the bench. I think just give us a minute. We didn't know Peyton Pritchard was going to be this good. We didn't know, really.

[Nikki Glaser]

He's my first.

[Joe List]

He looks like a Rick and Morty character. I didn't think he'd be torching everybody. Pull up a picture of this guy. He's incredible.

[Nikki Glaser]

Peyton Pritchard. He my first, like, week in Boston after practice. You want to play one, like, which is one on one at the end of practice, you know. And one on one in the NBA is like you get two dribbles and like, it's very control. You're from a certain spot. It's like Peyton gets the. Peyton gets the ball and like I'm up on defense and he's just like. And just. I was like, you know what? I'm good. I don't need this. I don't need. He's so good.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

This kid, like works so hard. Like, just. Just the hardest. No, like, he's one of those guys where you watch him play and you're like, oh, he's got like that thing.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

I didn't know that. Like, I didn't see this for him. He's surpassed what I thought he was going to be. He's incredible. Do you think they're going to win it all again or do you think okc?

[Nikki Glaser]

If they stay healthy, I think they're by far the favorites.

[Mark Normand]

This is who Sterling wants hanging out with his wife.

[Nikki Glaser]

That's Sterling's dream right there.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, exactly.

[Nikki Glaser]

Peyton Pritchard started at all five positions.

[Blake Griffin]

Never asked this question of a non comic on the show. Are you working on any bits?

[Nikki Glaser]

I'm like always writing stuff down.

[Mark Normand]

Got anything noodling in the head? Some of you're dying to try out.

[Nikki Glaser]

Not really. I mean, this is, this is not going to go well.

[Mark Normand]

It never does. We do it with each other and it's always awkward.

[Nikki Glaser]

So I have this, like, notes folder that I've had since probably 2000.

[Mark Normand]

This is exciting.

[Nikki Glaser]

I mean, it's, it goes on and on and on, on. And it's just. Some of it's like, I've worked it out, some of it I've worked out, and some of it's just like, it might just like, I, I. You go back and read it and you're like, what the was I thinking? That's so dumb.

[Mark Normand]

See if I have one too. Just to make you feel less weird, because I got the same notes.

[Nikki Glaser]

Okay, here's a good example of, like, things that aren't funny, but it was just like a thing in my head, like, and I don't know where I'll ever use it. Like, this isn't for, like, standup, but, but like, so the, the, what I wrote down was a Jamaican man named Ja Free up and last name Steen. It's like Jeffrey Epstein. Oh, no, no, from the Islands. Jaffrey Epstein.

[Mark Normand]

That's funny.

[Nikki Glaser]

So, like, I don't know how I'm ever gonna use that.

[Joe List]

It's a character in a script. Yeah, you gotta make that guy.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, that's a good example of, like, just like, where if you read this notes fuller, you'd be like, that's the stupidest.

[Joe List]

You got a laugh in this whole room.

[Mark Normand]

That's clever. Thanks, guys.

[Nikki Glaser]

Jeffrey Epstein.

[Joe List]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Big ups to Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah, it's like stuff like that where it's like, it might not ever.

[Mark Normand]

How about this one? My idea for an abortion clinic name. Don't kid yourself.

[Joe List]

That's pretty good.

[Mark Normand]

I'll tweet it. I couldn't go in my act, but it's a tweet or like, I have.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like, what I need to work out is, like, substitutions and timeouts at regular jobs. Not just sports. Sports.

[Mark Normand]

Oh.

[Nikki Glaser]

So it's like, the ideas is good, but I don't have any jokes that.

[Joe List]

Could, that could be a, a sketch.

[Nikki Glaser]

I think, where it's just like, time like this. And a lot of my stand up is like, early on, I tried to, like, shy away from writing sports stuff because I was like, that's hacky. I don't want to. I want to, like, write real jokes. And I saw this Seth Rogen interview one time where, you know, he was doing stand up when he was like, 13.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

And he talks about how he came off stage one time, he was like, I went out and I did okay. And he's like this older comedian, established comedian in Canada, was like, how old are you? He's like 13. He's like, well, right about 13 year old. Shit. And I, I saw that and I was like, you know what? I should write sports stuff.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

You know, it's like the one thing I know and it's more authentic and.

[Mark Normand]

It'S interesting and it sets you apart.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. So I always had like, so I always had this like thought it's honestly probably in my notes folder way back. But it was like, you know when like I would like walk down the street and people would be in LA and people would be like from across the street be like, go Lakers. And I was just like, how, how insane is that? Like, I don't see my UPS guy and be like, Go FedEx. Why are you yelling that at me? I don't care who you cheer for.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Nikki Glaser]

It'd be insane to think that everybody has to like be a fan of the team that I'm on.

[Mark Normand]

When I see him, I go, Hamas.

[Nikki Glaser]

Don't we all? I'm sorry, can we cut? Can we cut?

[Joe List]

I think, I think your sub in could be a sketch thing. I think the idea of like a surgeon, he's having like a bad day, he's killing someone. Like, get a sub in here.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, that.

[Nikki Glaser]

But also like, think about calling a timeout in the middle of surgery.

[Joe List]

It's like, oh, get the music going to you.

[Nikki Glaser]

You sit on like a bench and you're just like, this guy's like, flatlining.

[Joe List]

You have to get the TNT music. Na, na na na.

[Mark Normand]

A therapist too. The guy's like, yeah. Then I diddled my third kid timeout.

[Joe List]

I had one last night that got something about like, I have this whole like Luigi CEO chunk working. And now one of the things that bugs me is the, the CEO, everyone was like, he was a father. And I'm like, well, that's sad. But that doesn't make me care more.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Joe List]

Like, if a single person dies, I'm not like, well, luckily he had no, he had nothing.

[Nikki Glaser]

I'm like, how do, how do you. I want to hear your take on the Luigi you. Yeah, Because I'm like, I get it. Insurance companies are, they're, they're awful.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

But it's also like, I, I, I, I, I can't be the one that decides who lives and dies.

[Mark Normand]

Of course.

[Joe List]

But it's crazy. It's Our take, I think he's just.

[Nikki Glaser]

He'S like a vigilante.

[Joe List]

It's cr.

[Nikki Glaser]

It's, it's like, it's bananas, mind blowing.

[Mark Normand]

And he's a hot guy. Six pack. Valedictorian.

[Nikki Glaser]

More than hot. I don't know. There is. There's so many layers to it. I don't know how to feel about it, to be honest.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

One of those things, I can't decide.

[Mark Normand]

He goes to McDonald' everything's wacky about it.

[Joe List]

Yeah. I think.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. He ate in at McDonald's. He didn't go just pick it up and he didn't postmate.

[Mark Normand]

Right, right.

[Nikki Glaser]

He's just like, yeah, I'll have the number four.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

And I'll be right over here at this booth. Like, we got him.

[Joe List]

Yeah. I think it's hard when the people who are like celebrating the murder, but it's tough also because protests don't do shit.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

It's not going to change health care, you know, so it's.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. He brought light to a situation that is clearly.

[Joe List]

But nothing's going to change. Also.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. The. By the way, he. That CEO answers to a board and then they're also just going to appoint a new one.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe List]

And we're not going to know who it is. They're not going to put him on the website. So the new vigilante is not going to know who to kill and know.

[Blake Griffin]

About the health care system is that they held that meeting after he was killed. He was there for a meeting. The CEO, by the way.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

What a great point. They're like, well, obviously. Was it. What was his name? Obviously Brian's not going to be here today. But I think we. He would have wanted us to. To go on.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. And keep scamming people.

[Nikki Glaser]

By the way, that's such a great point. That's all you need to know about that situation.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Nikki Glaser]

I'm like, I'm like. I kind of like struggle with like the thought of it. So I'm just like, I get it. But also.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

That's more than most Americans are doing, I think right now. I think most people are like calling him a hero, you know?

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. Which like, I get it. He brought light to like a up situation. But also it's just like.

[Mark Normand]

Well, we, we had the Boston bombing kid. Remember? He was like a hot kid. He was a cover of Rolling Stone. No, no, we didn't have him on, but like we had him in America. He was a big deal. He was like some people Thought he was a hero, but that was way different.

[Joe List]

He's actually going to be played very soon by Timothee Chalamet, his next character. He looks like him a little.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I could see it.

[Nikki Glaser]

Most got the mustache going. Well, everyone over of rolling.

[Mark Normand]

I'm telling you, people were blowing this guy.

[Joe List]

Hitler was on the COVID of Time.

[Mark Normand]

That's. Well, that makes sense.

[Nikki Glaser]

We.

[Joe List]

We did. There was another thing on the news where they're like, he's a coward for shooting this guy in the back. And it's like, well, it's shooting him in the front that much. Is it that much better. Hey, excuse me.

[Mark Normand]

Around. Turn around.

[Nikki Glaser]

I have morals. Turn around.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's true.

[Nikki Glaser]

There it is. It's all bad Adolf.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, he was timely. You know, this was a big deal. So I kind of get it checks out. We're weird about our covers. We act like if you're on the COVID it's like, oh, we love you, but it could be a bad guy.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Blake Griffin]

He won man of the year.

[Mark Normand]

Mark that. He win sexiest man for tie year, was it.

[Nikki Glaser]

Let's talk about what else was going on. A lot of people don't talk about that.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly.

[Joe List]

I mean, look, Nick Noli won sexiest man. Looking back on stuff.

[Mark Normand]

Did he really?

[Joe List]

He was sexy back then, though.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I guess that's true. Not. Not that mug shot.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah. Let's pull up. Nick Nulty sexy. I mean, I see. I get it.

[Mark Normand]

Really.

[Joe List]

He was on the way down, but they got him right at the.

[Mark Normand]

I guess.

[Nikki Glaser]

I mean, I feel like now sexiest man of the Year, they're just like. They're trying to make a splash.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like, you know what? We're gonna pick the guy who no one's expecting.

[Mark Normand]

100%.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

I mean, that's not a great look.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, my God. I thought that was Gary Busey.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Similar.

[Joe List]

They look alike there.

[Mark Normand]

You never saw this?

[Nikki Glaser]

I mean, I have seen it, but I kind of forgot that he looked like. Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joe List]

It always.

[Nikki Glaser]

What happened?

[Mark Normand]

Drunk night, Cocaine, Hookers Tuesday. Yeah.

[Joe List]

I think you threw hookers in.

[Mark Normand]

I threw hookers. I always do.

[Joe List]

We don't want to keep you. We know you got another pod, man, but. But thanks for coming by and good to have you, dude.

[Nikki Glaser]

The cast.

[Joe List]

Thank you, man.

[Mark Normand]

Thank you. Thanks for bringing Andrew Tate on. That was exciting. I'm sure you hear that 17 times a day.

[Nikki Glaser]

The USA goalie. Tim. Tim Howard. Yeah.

[Joe List]

Oh, I could see that.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, okay.

[Nikki Glaser]

During the World cup, it was like, Tim Howard.

[Joe List]

You guys, I would get Michael Phelps with Down syndrome. They threw in the second part at least.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I can see it.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I can see it a little darker.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I would get Angel Reese. I don't know why.

[Joe List]

Yeah, I could say it. Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Annie.

[Mark Normand]

What is she, six, three?

[Nikki Glaser]

She's. She's. I don't know how tall she is, but she's. She's tall.

[Mark Normand]

Damn. That's crazy.

[Nikki Glaser]

I saw her one time in person, in heels, and it was just like, six, eight.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. Damn.

[Blake Griffin]

So who would win? Angel Reese versus Bronnie, one on one.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's a match.

[Joe List]

Ronnie's winning that, right?

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He's. Yeah. Just because of physicality or biology.

[Nikki Glaser]

History.

[Mark Normand]

Reality, it just.

[Nikki Glaser]

It's just, like.

[Joe List]

Strength.

[Nikki Glaser]

Well, I. It kind of blows my mind that we're having these talks, because it's just like. I mean, yeah, sure. Everybody's like, you know, oh, Bronnie sucked, dude. He. Like, if you. He's. He.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

I mean, it'd be, of course, cigar.

[Joe List]

But is he. Is he in the NBA without LeBron?

[Mark Normand]

That is the question.

[Nikki Glaser]

Thanks for having me.

[Joe List]

Like, Jake Busey's defying actor, is he in movies without Gary?

[Nikki Glaser]

Could he get there? Yeah, I think, like, yeah. Being one and done in college, I mean, it probably would have served him better to, like, you know, but, like, if you can get drafted, go get drafted.

[Mark Normand]

There you go.

[Nikki Glaser]

I have zero issues with him getting drafted at the 56 pick.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

I have zero issues with the. At the Lakers being like, all right, you know, we're gonna. We're gonna do this. The. The. The thing that they kind of. I think that they probably messed up on is, like, don't give him 8 million guaranteed.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like, give them what is gonna be okay.

[Joe List]

Financial.

[Nikki Glaser]

And then. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Nikki Glaser]

He made 10 times that in nil.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

So.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Nikki Glaser]

I mean, maybe not 10 times, but he was making. He's. He's made his own money.

[Mark Normand]

Sure.

[Nikki Glaser]

Right. And he also doesn't ever have to worry about.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

So it's like, just give him the normal thing, and you'll get everybody off his back. Let him just, like, earn it. Have him play the G League. And, like, I don't know.

[Joe List]

Was he flying private for the G League games?

[Nikki Glaser]

I don't. I have no idea if that's true.

[Joe List]

That's crazy. I heard.

[Nikki Glaser]

I don't know.

[Joe List]

That's confirmed, but.

[Nikki Glaser]

Well, by the way, he would. I mean, he only played a certain amount of road games, so. No, I. I honestly probably was really, like. I don't know, like, wouldn't you want.

[Joe List]

To be with the guys. I just think it's weird.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah, I. I agree with that. That. But it's like, can you imagine being like just like standing there waiting to board and you're like, is that Bronnie James?

[Mark Normand]

That'd be crazy.

[Nikki Glaser]

Bronnie James right here. I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, so basically he's the Hunter Biden of NBA. Powerful dad, a lot of money, did.

[Nikki Glaser]

A few things illegal.

[Mark Normand]

They'll get pardoned.

[Nikki Glaser]

Got pardoned. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

All right, well, hey, thanks for coming on here, man. Thank you, thank you. I can't wait to hear the code. Switching on the next step. Yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

So I was with these white boys and they talking about the Knicks. Can you believe that? I'm just doing like a death.

[Mark Normand]

So there's black people and there. But Blake Griffin, everybody. Thank you so much. That was great.

[Joe List]

Yes. Starting the bus tour, folks. Charlotte, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Philly, dc, Bethlehem, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Austin, Dallas, Houston, nola, Memphis, Knoxville, Nashville, Birmingham, Atlanta. We're going hard. It's all February. Durham, New haven, Providence, Portsmouth, N.H. going to sell it to there. I can't wait. Portland, Burlington, Montreal, Toronto, Buffalo, Albany, Columbus, Royal Oak, Grand Rapids, Milwaukee. This could go on forever. You guys get it. I'm coming to the west coast too. I'm coming all over. So if you didn't hear your city there it is probably there. Or it's coming in the fall. Punch up live Samuel slash Tickets or just Samuel.com shows. Mark, where. Where you gonna be, man? That's true.

[Mark Normand]

I'm knee deep in baby crying. I haven't slept, but just got a couple biggies to. To bring up and then I'll leave you guys alone doing casinos. Cuz they're a big money grab. You get in, you get out. So I'll see in Reno and Atlantis, then the big one in Nashville. Ryman Auditorium.

[Joe List]

Good as it gets.

[Mark Normand]

Can't beat that. Very exciting. We're moving some tickets and then the Thomas Wolf auditorium in Asheville. Gotta make up the date because a Helene that cunt.

[Joe List]

Is that Tom Wolf, the writer?

[Mark Normand]

I assume.

[Joe List]

That's pretty cool. Asheville.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, Cool city, dude.

[Joe List]

Yeah, very cool. Well, thanks to Blake Griffin. That was a great episode. He's awesome.

[Mark Normand]

You know the drill, dude.

[Joe List]

I think we just got in San Antonio. We're moving. We're moving everywhere. New merch coming too. We're changing up the merch a little bit. Oh yeah, it's a lot of cool stuff coming with Bodega cat, bodegacat whiskey.com. order a bottle. But also, like, dude, we're gonna have a big year. A lot of cool shit cooking. Mike and I got cool shit cooking.

[Mark Normand]

We tweaked the movie a little bit. We did a little rew. So things are happening. Wheels are in motion.

[Joe List]

Wheels are in motion, baby. We're moving.

[Mark Normand]

Sunday's the day for my next offender. A bit of piva wreck. You know, the fear. Jew's close. I've had a little too much burping. And Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope. And I get down in the same way? Up on the roof like the cops coming? And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous? I'm out to lunch here in noon New Orleans?

[Joe List]

This woman doesn't look like I remember her?

[Mark Normand]

And I get down in the same way?

[Nikki Glaser]

We might be true.