Ep 244: Mike Lawrence & Mike Veccione

Summary

Podcast Summary: We Might Be Drunk – Ep 244: Mike Lawrence & Mike Vecchione

Hosts: Sam Morril and Mark Normand
Guests: Mike Lawrence and Mike Vecchione
Release Date: August 11, 2025
Produced by: Gotham Production Studios, LLC

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**1. Welcome and Introductions
The episode kicks off with Sam Morril and Mark Normand reuniting with their longtime friend, comedian Mike Vecchione, and introducing fellow comedian Mike Lawrence. The camaraderie among the hosts and guests is palpable as they reminisce about their early days in comedy.

• Sam Morril [00:06]: "We're back. We're joined by a very old and good friend, the hilarious Mike Lawrence."
• Mark Normand [00:15]: "Maybe my oldest comedy. Well, Veder is the first guy I met in comedy."

**2. Early Days in Comedy and Influential Figures
The conversation delves into their beginnings in the comedy scene, highlighting influential comedians like Sean Patton and the impact of iconic comedy clubs. They discuss the challenges of getting booked and the importance of finding one’s comedic voice.

• Mike Vecchione [00:40]: "Yeah, I remember you coming with Zach Sims, and I've told people the story of. He was funnier at first. You just worked so hard and found your voice."

**3. The Art of Comedy: Evolution and Originality
The hosts and guests explore the intricacies of crafting comedy, emphasizing the necessity of evolving one’s material. They discuss how early struggles and constant performance among peers refined their comedic styles.

• Sam Morril [03:02]: "Which is a skill. I mean, it’s like, you want to see someone hone, but that was hard in the early days if you're around the same comics, it’s hard. It’s hard to tweak a bit."
• Mark Normand [04:33]: "We have good and bad to that. They don’t have to go through that pain, that awkwardness."

**4. Industry Insights: Writing for TV and Performing Stand-Up
Mike Vecchione shares his experiences writing for high-profile figures like Brad Pitt and navigating the complexities of the entertainment industry. The discussion touches on the differences between writing for television versus stand-up comedy and the relentless demand for fresh material.

• Mike Vecchione [10:42]: "We’re waiting on it, and it's just to get Brian Cox attached is insane. Like, we got him based on. He thought the script."

**5. Personal Anecdotes and Challenges
The conversation becomes more personal as Mike Vecchione discusses his autism diagnosis at age 38, its impact on his career, and his relationship dynamics. The hosts share their own struggles with writing material that resonates universally while maintaining their unique comedic voices.

• Mike Vecchione [106:03]: "I got my official autism diagnosis at 38 and told her, she's like, yeah, I probably had that too. And my mom was like, I didn’t know you weren’t supposed to smoke when you were pregnant."

**6. Reflections on Television and Film
The hosts critique various TV shows and movies, examining their evolution over the years. They discuss the importance of originality in shows like "Seinfeld" and "30 Rock," comparing them to contemporary programming and highlighting the risks involved in creating groundbreaking content.

• Sam Morril [45:52]: "There’s this great book called Pictures at a Revolution by Mark Harris, and it’s like, all about the movies that change Hollywood in the late '60s."

**7. Roast Battles and Comedic Boundaries
Mike Vecchione recounts his intense experience participating in a roast battle against Ralphie May, detailing the fine line between humor and offense. The anecdote underscores the emotional toll and the fine balance comedians must maintain to entertain without crossing personal boundaries.

• Mike Vecchione [71:23]: "The roughest part of Ralphie's divorce was getting the ring off his finger. This one. I mean, this is my opener, because his whole narrative was every other comic is just gonna say, I'm fat, and they’re hacks for doing it."

**8. Promotion and Upcoming Shows
As the episode nears its end, the hosts and guests promote Mike Vecchione’s new comedy special “Low Income White” available on YouTube and share tour dates spanning across the United States and Europe. They encourage listeners to check out his work and support his endeavors.

• Mike Vecchione [35:10]: "Check out his great. Now promote him. Yeah, check him out on iTunes. Yeah, he was unplugged in 2017, but we’re plugging him in 2025."

**9. Comedy Industry Peeves and Observations
Towards the conclusion, the hosts share their pet peeves about the comedy and entertainment industry, including issues like review bombing, the repetitive nature of certain jokes, and frustrations with industry gatekeepers. This segment provides a candid look at the less glamorous aspects of their profession.

• Sam Morril [92:02]: "I got this one. I don’t think anyone’s touched. It’s about him being orange. I think it’s gonna fucking hit, dude."
• Mark Normand [94:35]: "What about this guy? He won’t just tell you something. He makes you have to say it. Drives me crazy."

**10. Closing Remarks and Final Promotions
The episode wraps up with final promotions for Mike Vecchione’s podcast “Nerd of Mouth” and his ongoing comedy tour. The hosts express their appreciation for the guests and tease upcoming episodes, maintaining the light-hearted and engaging tone characteristic of "We Might Be Drunk."

• Sam Morril [117:06]: "Check that out. Mike V is terrific."
• Mike Vecchione [117:15]: "Yep. Yeah. You look rugged and hunky."

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Notable Quotes:

• Mike Vecchione [10:42]: "We’re waiting on it, and it's just to get Brian Cox attached is insane."
• Sam Morril [03:02]: "Which is a skill. I mean, it’s like, you want to see someone hone..."
• Mike Vecchione [71:23]: "The roughest part of Ralphie's divorce was getting the ring off his finger."

Conclusion:
Episode 244 of "We Might Be Drunk" offers a deep dive into the world of comedy through the experiences of Mike Lawrence and Mike Vecchione. The hosts provide invaluable insights into the evolution of stand-up comedy, the challenges of writing and performing, and the intricate dynamics of the entertainment industry. Personal anecdotes and candid discussions make this episode a must-listen for comedy enthusiasts seeking both humor and behind-the-scenes perspectives.

Transcript

[Sam Morril]

We're back. We're joined by a very old and good friend, the hilarious Mike Lawrence.

[Mike Vecchione]

Hey, what's up?

[Sam Morril]

This is great.

[Mike Vecchione]

Hey, how are you?

[Mark Normand]

Maybe my oldest comedy. Well, Veder is the first guy I met in comedy. You might have been second or third.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, Veter's up there for me.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oldest, too.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

He was around Mo Pickens.

[Mark Normand]

Mo Pickens, the Pit.

[Sam Morril]

I walked by Auto Shrunken Head the other night. I was just going to.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I was going to bars with Todd Berry, which. I don't know which is sadder, but we walked by, and I was like, that was a bedroom.

[Mark Normand]

What I got to do to get booked around here.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, I remember. I remember you coming with Zach Sims, and I've told people the story of. He was funnier at first. You just worked so hard and found your voice.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, thanks. Yeah, well, he's. He's still around. He's still cooking.

[Sam Morril]

But Zach had that funny joke about how he's always the one when he goes out with his friends. Put the goat down. Yeah, I love that bit.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Funny.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Joke about his stepdad had a gun on his hip, and he's like. He also had an extra clip.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You know, for all the gun play. I'm butchering it, but it was.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, yeah. And, you know. Well, we didn't do him justice there, but.

[Mark Normand]

No, no.

[Sam Morril]

Everyone in the comments like, that guy.

[Mike Vecchione]

He's also alive. Yeah, he is alive.

[Mark Normand]

He started before me, so he knew how to do comedy, and I was.

[Mike Vecchione]

Trying, but you guys lived together and you traveled together. Well, Sean Patton came first.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. He was the Mecca. Hey, go follow Sean Patton. He's there. He's the beacon of hope.

[Mike Vecchione]

He's the. Yeah, he's the. The best ever. I think, in Sean of, like, not. Not of all time, but of, like, guys that I came up with and worked with.

[Mark Normand]

Unbelievable.

[Sam Morril]

Great story.

[Mike Vecchione]

I think, like, you know, those cabin sets and stuff. Like, I don't. I don't think anyone else. Where I was like, I don't think I'll ever be that good.

[Mark Normand]

Like.

[Mike Vecchione]

Like, Sean was that guy. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

New stuff every week. He would command that room. We'd all stand back there, and it was a judgy room of comedians.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He still killed.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, yeah. Beast, I'm guessing, like, whatever people say about Kinison at the store, that was patent at cabin for me.

[Mark Normand]

Well, he's one of those guys, too. Kind of like a Rory Scoville where you can't capture him with a camera.

[Mike Vecchione]

No.

[Mark Normand]

Kind of have to Be there. Which is a problem for a comedian because you want to blow up and get exposure.

[Sam Morril]

I remember they did that article on him. Like, how Late Night Set. That didn't capture him.

[Mike Vecchione]

And it's.

[Sam Morril]

You can't. You can't put.

[Mike Vecchione]

He doesn't have any bits that are five minutes.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, true.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, his whole thing is he loses you and then he gets you. Yes, but he loses you for a long time and in five minutes you just lose. You can't get. This whole thing would be. You know, it was amazing to watch the. The hole he would dig for himself. Even in front of people who knew and liked him, he would still find a way to alienate them just to win them back.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Which is a skill. I mean.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, it's a masterful skill.

[Sam Morril]

It's such a skill. It's like, yeah, the keeping people at a distance and then the fucking. The hook.

[Mike Vecchione]

And it's especially a skill when you're coming up where you just want to be liked so badly. And you're like, he doesn't care if they don't like him.

[Sam Morril]

He has that great story about getting thrown out of the strip club after he had the breakup. And it's this long bill, but the turn is how the guy threw him out. He's like, why are you throwing me out? He goes, I just can't have you crying in here. But that turn is like, oh, you're just waiting for like.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, what did he do?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he had that eight minute bit about falling in love and finding the woman of his dream.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Now they're living together and he's going to propose to her. And then at the end he's like, I don't have a girlfriend. I made it all up.

[Mike Vecchione]

I think what would be funny is you would. You would see a bit and then you'd want to see it again and then he just wouldn't because he's doing something completely brand new.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. And you're just like, oh, man.

[Sam Morril]

Which is almost like a bad thing. I mean, you like, you want to see someone hone, but that was hard in the early days if you're around the same comics, it's hard. It's hard to tweak a bit.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, totally.

[Sam Morril]

Because you're in your head, you're like, fuck, they're judging me for doing this bit again.

[Mike Vecchione]

And me and Mark would see each other ten times a week sometimes and just. And then you would, then you would like just perform for him. You know me, because we were the only people that would be the consistency. And I wanted you to like me.

[Mark Normand]

And these new queefs, they have it so easy because they can just put shit online. We had to build it in front of each other.

[Mike Vecchione]

I think there's good and bad to that.

[Mark Normand]

I agree. I agree. I think it's better to build, but they don't have to go through that pain, that awkwardness.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, but you have to know who you are more quickly now. That sucks. Like, the wilderness years are gone. Of just being able to take risk and find yourself.

[Sam Morril]

I love that I was at, like, you know, Broadway in the comic strip, because no one saw me.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

No one who mattered saw me. So I was like, I don't want comics to see.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's important.

[Sam Morril]

I remember Mike Destefano. RIP Mike. Hilarious guy. One of my favorite jokes ever, when he had. Remember that bit he had was his agent's like, fax me a bio. He's like, bio? I scream at strangers in a bar for a living. What'd you do before that? I was a drug counselor. What did you do before that? I was a drug addict. What do you do before that? I was 12. That's a great joke. But he was like, just hide. Just hide as long as you can. You don't want comics to see you and then come out of nowhere. They'll be like, oh, who's this guy? As opposed to like, you know, that's the one issue with starting in a big pond like New York, where you just, like, people are like, does that guy still suck? No, sometimes they get better.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. You'll talk about somebody and not realize that, like, you last saw them, like during Obama's first term. Oh, he always does that thing. And I'm like, I don't know if he does.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Mike Vecchione]

Dude. Remember the night that Obama got inaugurated in 2009. 2009. And we. We went up to Harlem, you and me, and you made fun of this comic.

[Mark Normand]

You.

[Mike Vecchione]

He was doing sound. The guy was doing sound effects. So then Norman called him Police Academy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Michael Winslow.

[Mike Vecchione]

And the guy, he pulled me to the side.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, it was hilarious. I remember he had a cream colored suit, like a yellowish.

[Mike Vecchione]

It wasn't. By the end, was very yellowish. By the end. And brownish. And dude, it was so.

[Sam Morril]

And he was gonna kick your ass.

[Mark Normand]

He was like, I'll kill you, motherfucker. Like, you don't talk shit about me.

[Sam Morril]

He's doing act outs. He's like, I'll fucking stab you and then I'll shoot you.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Because the white confidence we had that night because it was, like, the happiest that audience had ever been. And we're like, we could get away with it. Cause I remember I went up, I had a great set, and Norman was doing great, but then he made fun of the guy and those guys. It's not the same of, like, camaraderie. It's like, no, you're taking money out of my pocket.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. But I thought, hey, I would say this to a white guy. I'll say it to him. And it was not.

[Sam Morril]

We went up there together once, right? Was it Mocha's Lounge?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. Smokey, Smokey, Smokey Suarez. I remember one time I was bombing so bad that the odor just stands up, looks me in the eyes, and goes, you done? Damn, dude. I would have loved if he beat you up. And as he's. He's doing Punching.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. The old Batman pow Zam.

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm gonna automatopoeia your ass.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that Mocha's Lounge was wild because they would let you on.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And there was no rhyme or reason to it. It was no lineup or anything. You're on now. You go up and you do your thing, and then if you bombed, he would shit on you and your whole look and your whole act.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. But he let anyone up. That was funny, was. We were used to the alternative places in Brooklyn and stuff where they do the first part but not the second part. They judge you and make fun of your act, but they don't put you on stage.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

That is the difference between white and black people right there.

[Mike Vecchione]

They'll give you a chance.

[Sam Morril]

It was like, quiet versus, like, fuck you.

[Mark Normand]

It was inclusive but insensitive.

[Mike Vecchione]

And it was always funny going with different white comics, seeing who would code switch. And there was. And if I went with someone who could. I could never look at them the same way again.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, well, he would. You would either go blacker or you'd go whiter.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Those are your options. Yeah. Oh, good. G willikers. What am I doing? Oh, boy.

[Sam Morril]

You know, this knows what I'm talking about.

[Mark Normand]

Up top.

[Mike Vecchione]

Do you know where the magical Johnson Theater is?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, boss.

[Mark Normand]

I play this car closer.

[Sam Morril]

So I can cut him.

[Mike Vecchione]

He's.

[Sam Morril]

He's going blacker for sure.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he did crack, so I'll give him a couple black moments.

[Mike Vecchione]

I mean, some of the guys in the audience would become Israelites, Just not the kind he.

[Mark Normand]

He had the fat farm shirt on. Oh, my God.

[Mike Vecchione]

Is code switching.

[Sam Morril]

And let's be real, doing crack is kind of code switching as well.

[Mark Normand]

So, sure, sure.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. I got cross colors.

[Mark Normand]

Damn.

[Mike Vecchione]

What was that show, right? White Boys in the Hood. A whole thing that was just that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Kurt Metz, Oscar, Big J, they all did it.

[Mike Vecchione]

Joey Gay did it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Mark Normand]

Then there was Apollo, too. You could do the Apollo New Talent Night.

[Mike Vecchione]

Can you imagine if you were like a white comic that. That did well in those rooms all the time and you didn't get booked on that show and you're like, what. What is there for me if I don't have this? If I can't get White Boys in the Hood?

[Sam Morril]

Well, dude, Diddy had that one too, remember? Yeah, Diddy had his own. It was like Bad Boys of Comedy.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Pull that up. Wow.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, you're. I guess you're not using that credit anymore. Yeah, I guess maybe you are. He is innocent. Innocent of trafficking.

[Mike Vecchione]

You don't do a setup. You just lube the punchline. Thank you. Thank you.

[Sam Morril]

How y' all doing, Brooklyn?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, this guy looks nervous already.

[Mike Vecchione]

You know what?

[Mark Normand]

I'm glad to be here, y', all.

[Mike Vecchione]

But I had to go to the.

[Sam Morril]

Dentist, right, and get my partials and.

[Mike Vecchione]

Hooked up because one day, all my teeth just start falling the out. I ain't bullshitting.

[Mark Normand]

I was.

[Sam Morril]

I was talking to a one day.

[Mike Vecchione]

And I say, is this a sound effects guy?

[Mark Normand]

No, he was dressed better. This guy's great because he could be on a corner in New York just getting changed.

[Mike Vecchione]

That guy has the same smile Mark would have had if that guy punched him.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. That's true. Yeah. Yeah, dude, he would zing you. He was basically Kill Tony. He was Kill Smokey. Just trash your whole act.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, dude, Mike and I are. We're, like, in the process of waiting to see if we sold a show. I feel weird even talking about it since it hasn't gone through yet. But, like, we've been working on the show for 18 months.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

And we got Brian Cox attached. And we're still having trouble.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

The industry.

[Sam Morril]

It's that hard.

[Mark Normand]

You stink.

[Mike Vecchione]

It has been so fun working with Sam because I feel like such, like, a LA sellout Sherpa because I've had to, like, explain to him how lazy the industry truly is.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, hey.

[Mike Vecchione]

Because you were, like, the most proactive guy I've ever seen. It'll be like, you know, Monday. And he's like, they haven't called back. I'm like, they're not gonna call back for three weeks.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, you do get impatient. Yeah. It's Hollywood, man.

[Mike Vecchione]

He's Jewish and he's found out there's other holidays. They celebr.

[Sam Morril]

You know what's crazy is, like, they're just insanely lazy. And you can't. If you follow these people on Instagram, you're gonna want to kill yourself. But you're like, turks and Caicos again. It's a work week.

[Mark Normand]

I know. It's crazy.

[Mike Vecchione]

That's my show money. They say we can't afford it. And I'm like, go to Turks or Caicos. And I saw both.

[Sam Morril]

I saw Bezos's wedding. I'm like, dude, that could have fucking been three seasons of our show. Come on, we're waiting on Amazon.

[Mike Vecchione]

We're, like, hoping, but I know every time a spaceship goes up, that's fucking eight. Eight pilots. Katy Perry, dude.

[Sam Morril]

We're, like, waiting on it. And it's just to get Brian Cox attached is insane. Like, we got. We got him based on. He thought the script.

[Mike Vecchione]

He does the zoom. Calls with us from, like, 11pm his time. He's in Scotland.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

Doing a play. So he does a full play. And then he's like. He's so fun in person.

[Sam Morril]

He's so cool.

[Mike Vecchione]

I haven't seen him, like, but, like, when you talk to him, he's just. I like this character because he is an asshole. A proper asshole.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

He's supposed to play my biological father on the show. I mean, he's a terrible person. And he's my biological father, a narcissist. But we made him charming in the show, so it's fun. It's a fun character.

[Mark Normand]

What about a production company shooting it and then trying to sell it? Because I know you guys don't want to fund it.

[Sam Morril]

That's probably the next step.

[Mark Normand]

If we don't sell it, don't go right to them. Go to someone who could shoot it.

[Sam Morril]

You know, we're saying I'm impatient. It has been 18 months.

[Mark Normand]

Months.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

No, no. But this is TV.

[Sam Morril]

It's TV, man.

[Mike Vecchione]

It was amazing. Like, the thing that made me really love, you know, I've. I've always, like, been a fan of Brian Cox and, like, you know, he's in one of the best superhero movies, X2.

[Sam Morril]

And he's great. Super Troopers.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You know, 25th hour. Zodiac.

[Mark Normand]

He's an adaptation session.

[Mike Vecchione]

We were, you know, I was watching, like, you know those Vanity Fair things where they talk about their whole career? And he was like. For years, people would look at me and be like, who are you? And he's like, that doesn't happen anymore. Now I am Logan Roy.

[Sam Morril]

Yes.

[Mike Vecchione]

But I remember there was like an article about him and Jeremy Strong.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Like, the difference between method and non method, where he's like, I just. The camera comes on and I'm Logan, right? And Jeremy would be like, you know, he would, like, call him dad and stuff. Like, okay. I always love, like, the Met, you know, the famous. Right. Laurence Olivier. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I don't know that well.

[Sam Morril]

You know, we stayed up for, like, three days. Dustin Hoffman, you know, he's like, I had to be. You know, I'm getting tortured. I have to be a mess, you know, in the scene. And Lawrence Olivier is like, my son. Have you tried acting? Yeah, that's a line.

[Mike Vecchione]

The best was. It was Jared. Jared Leto on the. On the set of Suicide Suicide Squad, you know, was sending, like, rat feces and, like, chicken heads and stuff. And there was an article and it was like, Viola Davis is having none of Jared Leto's shit. Like, she just went up to him and said, knock it off, Jared. Wow. I remember there was a story where on the set of Morbius, like, it's funny if you Method for a bad movie. It's like, what's the point?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but apparently you don't hear about Rob Schneider going. He really was a European jiggle at this time.

[Mike Vecchione]

But see, the.

[Mark Normand]

Andy.

[Mike Vecchione]

The.

[Mark Normand]

What is it? Jim Carrey, they said. Oh, yeah, everybody hated him.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, dude. Milo Milos Foreman in that and that. He's like, jim, can can we please do another? I'm not Jim, I'm Andy. And then. And he's just like, okay, Andy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

This guy did Amadeus and one flows over the Cuckoo's Nest.

[Sam Morril]

I understand, like, staying in an accent or something, but, like, staying in character to me is. It does seem a little.

[Mike Vecchione]

But the Morbius thing was, you know, before he becomes the living vampire, he's a guy on crutches. He would use the bathroom and crutches, and it would stall production for 45 minutes. Wow. And you know when you're like the producers and stuff, there's overtime and stuff like that.

[Sam Morril]

There's a story about Marlon Brando doing that where he was. He wanted to be cranky, so he stayed in an actual hospital bed for like, six weeks and was rude to the nurses. And you're thinking, like, I'm sure someone could have used that hospital bed.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Hospitals over corrected.

[Mike Vecchione]

What year was it? Because it might have been two. That's true.

[Sam Morril]

Holy shit, you got fat.

[Mark Normand]

Well, dude, what about the guy playing a pedophile? Does he go method? I was in a summer Camp. But it's for the role.

[Sam Morril]

Cox has played a pedophile, so I hope not.

[Mark Normand]

That's why Jeremy Strong was calling dad we.

[Mike Vecchione]

When I was with him, those boys were Jeremy weak.

[Sam Morril]

I loved. Yeah, I love interacting with him, though. He's like the coolest dude. And he. One of my favorite parts is like, you know, we're selling this, trying to sell this show, and we have our friend Matt, who's a production guy, and we really like him, but he keeps pushing the show, as, you know, it's the male biological clock. And Micah and I also like, yeah, yeah, but there's other stuff. It's like a father son show. And Matt's like, it's the male biological clock. No one's done that. And we're like. It's, like, weird to say, you know, with women. They might be pitching to women. They're gonna be like. And he's like, no, trust me. So we're on a pitch and. And he goes. And we do our thing. And then he goes. And it's also the male biological clock. And Brian Cox goes, what?

[Mike Vecchione]

That's horseshit.

[Sam Morril]

That's not. That's not a thing. Just like Cox.

[Mark Normand]

That's great. By the way, shout out to McDonald's for hiring him, too. He seems so. Not McDonald's, but he's kind of brought, like, Scottish.

[Mike Vecchione]

He's probably a part of a clan called the McDonald's.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. That's a good point.

[Mike Vecchione]

He was in Braveheart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny, you don't see him as Scottish because his voice is just. He. His.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Mike Vecchione]

Like, it doesn't have, like, a thick accent to it or anything.

[Mark Normand]

It's not like Groundskeeper Willie. No.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I love. The other part was we're talking about all the characters in the show. And he goes, it's just a joyful show. It's fun as hell. And this Sam character is just so pathetic. And I go, that one. Those are actual, real stories. Most of those are. That's actually my life.

[Mike Vecchione]

I would never want a son like this. Now.

[Sam Morril]

He's. Oh, dude, he's in. Troy Zagamemnon. He's in so much shit.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Manhunter. Hannibal Lecter.

[Mark Normand]

He's the original Hannibal Lecter that.

[Mike Vecchione]

I mean, to me, it's like, I would. I would rather be that than a movie star where there's no. There's no pressure on you when, you know, box office comes, you just get to be good and shit. Go home early. You don't have to promote stuff. For years.

[Mark Normand]

It's kind of like Gary Oldman. He just quietly killing it. No one ever thinks of him in, like, the Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise world.

[Mike Vecchione]

And if you ask me who the best actor of our generation is, I might say Gary Old because he becomes the characters.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Mike Vecchione]

You don't even know you're watching Gary Oldman sometimes.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. He's Commissioner Gordon, but he's also a Rasta guy. In True Romance.

[Sam Morril]

He was actually. That character was on White Boys in the Hood if you want. No, he was. He's hilarious.

[Mike Vecchione]

And so is this Fifth Element character. For some reason.

[Sam Morril]

You know, he did lean into that a little.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, yeah. But Chris Tucker with the, you know, rolling paint roller on his head was. Was hosting that episode, so it's okay.

[Mark Normand]

He would kill on Drag Race.

[Sam Morril]

Kind of an underrated movie, actually. Fifth Avenue.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I love Fifth Avenue.

[Sam Morril]

That's a fun dude.

[Mike Vecchione]

Mia Jovovich, did you ever see Valerian? That was that guy's attempt to make another one like that. Luke Besson.

[Mark Normand]

Never heard of it.

[Mike Vecchione]

I love an expensive bad movie that's unique. Like this movie. Like, Rihanna plays an amorphous shape shifting jellyfish.

[Mark Normand]

Pull it up.

[Sam Morril]

They offered it to Marlon Brando.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's funny when you see the poster is that.

[Sam Morril]

Holy shit.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. The opening of the movie is one of the most beautiful openings I've ever seen in a movie. The first six minutes are like, phenomenal. But. But here's why the movie doesn't work. The poster, like, look at the two leads, Dane DeHaan and Cara Devinier or whatever. They're supposed to be like hard boiled film noir ish, cops in their 30s. And it does not work. Because the thing is, a lot of times, like, especially European directors, they're so just obsessed with the visuals that they don't think about the acting.

[Sam Morril]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. Wow. I never even heard of it. This looks crazy.

[Sam Morril]

Look up the Rotten Tomatoes there. Syracuse.

[Mark Normand]

I like those. Look at those. Wacky.

[Mike Vecchione]

This came out Jupiter Ascending also was the Wakowski.

[Mark Normand]

I remember the name.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And they both transitioned, right?

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

Both dudes both became women.

[Mike Vecchione]

No, you watch that movie, you go, women directors, huh? No man would ever make this film.

[Sam Morril]

So the Rotten Tomatoes this is 47. And the audience is 53.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, but you know what, though? That's a better 47 and a lot of 47s, because like I said, like, he. He funded some of it himself, like Megalopolis. He got all these investors and everything. Like, he did make the exact movie he wanted to Make. Yeah, I would rather watch that than, you know. And I am like, you know, comic book fan and everything, but, you know, the Marvel made by committee movies, like, this movie has stuff in it you wouldn't see anywhere else.

[Sam Morril]

Right.

[Mike Vecchione]

Because only he could come up with it.

[Mark Normand]

I prefer that as well.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I'm gonna check this out.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's. It look like. Yeah. So the one on the left is the Rihanna jellyfish.

[Mark Normand]

The blue.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, that's. That's Rihanna. What?

[Mark Normand]

What a waste of Rihanna.

[Mike Vecchione]

No, she. She becomes Rihanna.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. Also. But that's. That's her.

[Mark Normand]

This is her after getting beat up by Chris Brown. Black and blue.

[Mike Vecchione]

S S, S, N, M, M.

[Mark Normand]

She did an umbrella.

[Sam Morril]

It is such a, like, artsy director thing to be like, we're gonna cast one of the world's hottest women and we're gonna make it look nothing like her.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's such a French. We take Seriana and now she's the jellyfish.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I'd pee on her.

[Mike Vecchione]

No, that happened after Chris Brown read the script.

[Mark Normand]

What?

[Mike Vecchione]

You're leaving me for what?

[Mark Normand]

You're gonna need a Valium. Valerian. What is a Valerian? It is made up. Word.

[Mike Vecchione]

I think he's Valerian.

[Mark Normand]

I'm pretty sure.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, but it's like that dude, right? It's just. It looks like what a European thinks an American would look like.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, yes, totally.

[Mike Vecchione]

That guy was in everything for a few. He was in Chronicle. He was in the second Spider Man. Amazing. Spider Man 2. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And there were these guys who were in everything. What was that guy from Ex Machina. He's also in the Revenant. He's also in.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, Damall Gleason.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. Yes. He's Brendan Gleason's son.

[Sam Morril]

Who was like. We literally wrote the role for Brian Coxboard. Like, we had to, like, prepare ourselves for him saying no. So we were like, Brendan Gleason's name came up.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Really? Yeah, we love.

[Mike Vecchione]

I love him.

[Sam Morril]

He's like, oh, yeah, he's amazing.

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm sure those guys take each other's roles all the time. Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

True, true.

[Mike Vecchione]

Although I think. I think Brendan Gleason's a little bit younger. He did. He did SNL like, a few years ago.

[Sam Morril]

He was funny.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, he was. I liked, like, having, you know, a character actor on that show.

[Sam Morril]

Dude, have you seen the movie the Guard? Huge wreck. It's Brendan Gleason and Don Cheadle. It's fucking great, great, great comedy.

[Mike Vecchione]

Banshees of interest in. I love was incredible.

[Mark Normand]

I love.

[Mike Vecchione]

And he's so good in it. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I like movies that are like. It's just straight up a play, basically. Incredible.

[Mike Vecchione]

As Martin McDonough. Right. Playwright. Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

The dialogue was good. The characters were great.

[Sam Morril]

That's a great comedy, right?

[Mark Normand]

I've never heard of this.

[Sam Morril]

It's fucking awesome.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

Highly underrated.

[Mike Vecchione]

Nice.

[Sam Morril]

I think it's by McDonough's brother.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Geez. Yeah, the Irish. Funny people. Good.

[Sam Morril]

Good at dark comedy.

[Mark Normand]

Irish and black is that. They're a funnier combo. Maybe Jew.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, black and Chinese for three movies. They got three movies out of that.

[Mark Normand]

You understand the words that are coming.

[Mike Vecchione]

Out of my mouth.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, did you pull up that Scottie Pippen thing I sent you? What is that? Let me see. I. I sent this to you weeks ago, and you just had it.

[Mark Normand]

By the way, rush Hour has a disclaimer on it. Now, a lot of these jokes are outdated.

[Sam Morril]

Really?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's what this.

[Sam Morril]

No way.

[Mike Vecchione]

It says. Like, the buddy comedies of the 90s were a different time.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

Really funny.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, that's. If that allows people to air it, that's fine. Disney plus, like Aladdin, it's.

[Sam Morril]

You know, you just look at the year it was made, and you just.

[Mark Normand]

I know we got to say smoking now, too, which is when it'll be like nudity, rape, smoking.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. But don't worry. Smoking was blurred out. We kept all the raping, but the smoking, you don't see it anymore.

[Sam Morril]

There's a rape scene afterwards. The guy takes out a cigarette. The mom covers your eyes.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sam Morril]

Too much.

[Mark Normand]

There's a movie. They do movies in the park by my house in Brooklyn now. And it was the Pride month, so all the movies were gay themed, and one of them was call me by your name, which has that crazy jizz in the peach moment, as we all know. But I thought, I don't know if they would show a straight jizz and a peach in the park. It seems a little naughtier.

[Mike Vecchione]

You mean if the peach was straight?

[Mark Normand]

Yes. It just feels like they wouldn't show two guy and a girl fucking. It's too crazy. But gay gives it a little artsiness to it.

[Mike Vecchione]

And I love that you're rehearsing for your next Rogan appearance.

[Mark Normand]

Am I wrong?

[Mike Vecchione]

You can't show straight fruit.

[Mark Normand]

Well, I'm not saying the fruit. I'm saying, what is a straight fruit?

[Sam Morril]

Straight fruit.

[Mike Vecchione]

Bisexual.

[Sam Morril]

Apples are pretty straight fruit.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. Apple a day. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

So Sam sent me this clip. Yeah, it's just Scottie Pippen just Lost his mind. I love this. Just posting this.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, man.

[Sam Morril]

What does the comment say? The caption? Lots of craziness in the world. Tell me something good. Palm tree son. I feel bad for the person who had to film this for him.

[Mark Normand]

I know his friends are.

[Sam Morril]

Just get me walking on this.

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm partially saying this as a wrestling fan, but athletes aren't meant to live after 50.

[Mark Normand]

True.

[Mike Vecchione]

No good comes of it.

[Mark Normand]

No, no, just go. Go into a tower like Michael Jordan. He just invests in things quietly and.

[Sam Morril]

Gambles till 5am Gamble.

[Mark Normand]

That's fine.

[Mike Vecchione]

He has to die the way his dad did.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Oh, you think that was. It must have been.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that was a hidden.

[Mike Vecchione]

That's.

[Sam Morril]

Imagine being Michael Jordan and you got your dad killed.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[Sam Morril]

You have everything and you know the conspiracy. I mean, that's what they say, right?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Is that right?

[Mike Vecchione]

They're actually making a movie of it and Brian Cox is playing Michael Jordan.

[Mark Normand]

Driving female drivers. Damn. That's crazy. Crazy. It's kind of like Will Smith you see Wrapped in London. Everybody's trashing it.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, my God. Have you seen the clips of him rapping? They're pretty.

[Mike Vecchione]

I saw the pretty girls rap.

[Mark Normand]

That was it.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

I like pretty girls. It is the most like if a gay person. Yeah, yeah, right. About pretending to be straight.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I love pussy.

[Mike Vecchione]

I eat it up like taffy.

[Mark Normand]

Loose lip sync ship.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, yeah. You could wrap this in Paul Lynn's voice.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Oh, wait, no. He does a live thing. Okay.

[Sam Morril]

No, no, please. Let's see this for a sec first. So this is pretty rough.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Chris Rock should come up and slap him.

[Sam Morril]

It's literally like everyone's calling him gay and he's like, we got my next.

[Mike Vecchione]

You think if he slaps him again, it's like a sitcom.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

He'll go back to being normal.

[Mark Normand]

He'll go back to Stefan. Oh, look at the sweater and everything. Come on. You know, Jada's gone. This is why it say your friend O.

[Mike Vecchione]

It is. It is.

[Mark Normand]

Poor guy.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's pretty gay.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. And just not catchy and no one cares.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, then he also. He did one where it was like him playing a bunch of different characters and they're all commenting on Will Smith. It's a rap about. You know, people say this about Will Smith and people say that and it's. It's. But it's like he's trying to do like the. The barber shop in Coming to America where it's like he's all the different. It's oh, it's embarrassing. Yeah, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Just nobody's excited about this.

[Mark Normand]

That's so crazy because he's one of the most famous people.

[Mike Vecchione]

He's like 55, 56.

[Sam Morril]

If he died at 50, he would have been good too.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I know, I know.

[Sam Morril]

Right before the Chris Rock slap. It's like, man, he went out well.

[Mike Vecchione]

It was a fun years.

[Mark Normand]

I won an Oscar that night too.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's a fun game to play when they should have died. You just take a celebrity and you guess the, the, the biggest moment that they could have died.

[Mark Normand]

I like it.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Mike Vecchione]

So Brando. Brando. But this guy 73.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Right after Godfather.

[Mark Normand]

Damn.

[Mike Vecchione]

But before the weird Oscar thing with the Native American and John Wayne. Get her off the stage. Pil.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, a guy's watching. So this is a good review, by the way. This is what it's. We are now watching a guy watching Will Smith.

[Mark Normand]

Not yet.

[Mike Vecchione]

Now we are.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Messi, Neymar and Ronaldo. Goals scored on these boys.

[Mark Normand]

I actually thought this was pretty good.

[Sam Morril]

This is not.

[Mike Vecchione]

Wiped the floor with these boys. This makes you realize how important Uncle Phil was to his life without that guidance. Dude.

[Sam Morril]

He had such a run in the 90s though. Holy shit.

[Mike Vecchione]

His career now is if he was raised by Ben Vereen.

[Mark Normand]

How did Jazzy Jeff win?

[Sam Morril]

How did Carlton win?

[Mark Normand]

I love Carlton.

[Mike Vecchione]

Alfonso Ribeira, you're watching. You're watching now. And you're just like, man, I missed the Wild Wild West.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, those were good times.

[Mike Vecchione]

I love when he wrapped the plots of the film.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. Welcome to Miami. He did the Men in Black rap.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, yeah. Here come the mibs.

[Mark Normand]

He's hosting the new America's Funniest Home Videos.

[Sam Morril]

By the way, that's probably a good gig.

[Mark Normand]

Great gig.

[Sam Morril]

Seems like a nice guy too.

[Mark Normand]

I'm sure he's banging some milfs. He's having a great time.

[Mike Vecchione]

I used to love how damning the theme song was where it was like, america, this is you. Look what you've become.

[Mark Normand]

That gets kicked by a Shetland pony in the nuts. That's America, baby.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's not unusual to see that. That's his.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's a good looking fam.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

I mean, he was silver spoons before. Been at forever.

[Sam Morril]

He's a good comic actor. I like when they were having. Didn't they have an episode where he got shot?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Weird turns on that show to the hood.

[Mark Normand]

Well, every sitcom had to have the serious crazy learn something episode.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And then the serious like, I wish I was stronger Than, like, a hug or something.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, they had the one where it was like, he gets, like. Like, mocked at the black fraternity.

[Mark Normand]

Oh.

[Mike Vecchione]

And he's like, you know, but why? I'm just as black as them. And.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

And then Phil is like, when will they ever learn? Phil is great, dude. He's the best. Shredder, James.

[Mark Normand]

That's right.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

He was the voice of Shredder in the original Ninja Turtles.

[Sam Morril]

Is he still alive?

[Mike Vecchione]

No, he passed away, like, years ago.

[Mark Normand]

He's like a phenom.

[Mike Vecchione]

You want to see something amazing? James Avery. Reginald Vel Johnson.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa. World's colliding.

[Mike Vecchione]

You're damn right. Yeah. James Avery.

[Mark Normand]

Family matters like Batman versus Superman.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

What are we doing here?

[Mark Normand]

Hey, Mike.

[Sam Morril]

Mike, come join us, buddy.

[Mark Normand]

There he is. Big Phil. Mike. Becky. Own, everybody.

[Sam Morril]

Mike. Did you watch Family Matters or Fresh Prince growing up?

[Mike Lawrence]

I'm aware of them. I didn't. Wasn't.

[Sam Morril]

It was a little.

[Mark Normand]

I was doing push ups.

[Mike Lawrence]

It was like, not during my heyday.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, Garcelle Buffo is in this. She was hot.

[Mike Lawrence]

Thanks for having me on.

[Mark Normand]

Right during. It's like we're watching Basic Instinct. Like, shut up.

[Mike Vecchione]

Did he freak off? They didn't tell him that James Avery was coming on the set. Oh, so this is like an outtake, but that they aired. They aired it. I remember seeing this as a kid. This is the most amazing thing.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, no.

[Sam Morril]

He's like, are they replacing me?

[Mark Normand]

What the.

[Mike Vecchione]

Just seeing Uncle Phil in a shirt is like.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. That's why I let it play out.

[Sam Morril]

I love James Avery, dude. He was the backbone of that show.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. Now you needed him. Best TV dad.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

But I like Cosby.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. What's beautiful about that clip was that those guys, like, they came up together in theater, and then they're like, look, we both made it. Oh, that. We have money jobs. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa. And they got the same gig, basically.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. Basically lawyer. I mean, judge, cop. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. By the way, so typecasted. He's a cop on the sitcom He's a Cop and Ghostbusters. He's a cop and Die Hard. And he's a cop in Turner and Hooch.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, but he's a friendly cop.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. He's friendly.

[Mike Lawrence]

He's like a liaison of the community.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

In Later Family Matters, when it was just like, the Urkel hijinks, every season, they would give him, like, one serious acting episode. So there was one where, like, these two white cops pulled over Eddie, and he's like, you pulled over my son? And Then, like, the subplot is like, Urkel is Bruce Lee.

[Sam Morril]

They had to throw in a silly beast story.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, no, the B story was the cops. Those writers knew what they were doing, man.

[Mike Lawrence]

I assume this started from the P. Diddy. There was a P. Diddy discussion before this. And then it went into the family.

[Sam Morril]

I don't even think so. I think we went.

[Mike Lawrence]

He started Family Matters first.

[Mike Vecchione]

We were talking about Will Smith.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, remember the. What you talking about Willis, Gary.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Coleman episode. Didn't get molested in one episode.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, he did.

[Mike Vecchione]

That was the first one he does his friend. They create. They gave him a friend just for that episode.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Mike Lawrence]

Well, he gets it in the bike shop, which is where all molestation should happen.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Stage parent. They're like, you're auditioning for a kid who gets.

[Mike Vecchione]

Now, now, now. I definitely sound like Rayman, but played by Gordon Jump, who was also the Maytag man and was on wcrp.

[Sam Morril]

A very special episode.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

God, they would have to do.

[Mike Lawrence]

I was molested by the guy from WKRP in Cincinnati.

[Sam Morril]

They had to prep you back in the day. They're like, it's a special episode.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's also funny that it's like the theme song is it takes different strokes to change the world or whatever. Like, that sounds like rule the world. That sounds like a defense of pedophilia. Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum.

[Mark Normand]

Look, he's watching a Diddy magazine, man.

[Mike Vecchione]

He's literally doing the original Veltron.

[Mark Normand]

I know. He got acquitted.

[Mike Vecchione]

What?

[Sam Morril]

Webster walks in, he's like, wait a second.

[Mike Vecchione]

There could be only one. They think they get little swords.

[Mark Normand]

Actually, it's Lowlander.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, that was. That was greater.

[Sam Morril]

Damn straight.

[Mark Normand]

Speech. All right.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Mike, you got a new special out.

[Mike Lawrence]

On YouTube, everybody, called Low Income White. I don't know where the cameras are. Please, please watch it on YouTube. Thank you guys both for sharing. I appreciate it.

[Mark Normand]

Nate Land produced.

[Mike Lawrence]

Nate Land produced.

[Mark Normand]

Hell, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

These two have been on the road together, I think.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yes. Yeah. Pete Davidson gigs. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

It's the best, man.

[Sam Morril]

How is that?

[Mike Lawrence]

Awesome.

[Sam Morril]

So good.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. It's amazing watching Mike have to learn how to promote because even on stage, he's like, if you. If you liked what you just saw, please go to my website. You don't have to, but if you would like to.

[Mike Lawrence]

No, I have to do it after every. Every set now. Because it's just.

[Mike Vecchione]

It works, man. I mean. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, you gotta do it. I mean, 20,000 people or whatever.

[Mike Vecchione]

Right, right.

[Mark Normand]

But it's like a hostage video. You're like, ah, God, please.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, I try to make it funny, but after every one it's like I have to do it, you know?

[Mark Normand]

Gotta do it. By the way, give the man a little room here. I like it.

[Mike Vecchione]

Those, those Pete shows are amazing because you are someone's first stand up comedian. Yeah, yeah. There are people there who have never been to a comedy show and I'm.

[Mark Normand]

Sure the 22 year old girls love seeing you.

[Mike Lawrence]

But it's weird.

[Mike Vecchione]

But it's weird. You look like the fathers that abandoned them.

[Mike Lawrence]

But Nate shows too. It's like half the people are just there. They've never been to a comedy show. They're just. They love Nate.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Crazy.

[Mike Lawrence]

So, damn.

[Sam Morril]

When you go out with Pete, do you guys do like a dinner afterwards or is it just kind of like. Like you're out after?

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm goes to the. Straight to the next place.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, we usually drive that night.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Wow.

[Mike Lawrence]

Go and then drive that night.

[Mark Normand]

Bus, I take it?

[Mike Vecchione]

No Sprinter?

[Mike Lawrence]

No, Just regular cars. Maybe an suv. Yeah, but just cars.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. We were one time. I don't know if you were on that one, but we were chased for like 45 minutes by the ladies by like this one fan on the road. Whoa. Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

No, I did come out of like when we were in Philly, I came out of the car and it was just like. I mean, it's just a window in to what he has to deal with where it's like you get out because everybody's like, oh, you have to deal. It's like, no, no, no. You get out of the car and it's like flash is going off. It's like disorientating and people around like us getting rushed into the.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Mike Lawrence]

Us. Him being rushed into the building, man, it's like you're ambushed.

[Mike Vecchione]

You know what I mean? Now the big thing is, is the ebay guys. So you know, he was in the Transformers movie and stuff. So they have the Funko Pops and. Yeah, how do they know?

[Mark Normand]

How do those guys get hip to that? They'll be at the airport at 6am the early flight.

[Mike Vecchione]

I was, I was at Largo in LA with Sarah Silverman, just in the parking lot. There was like three guys with her Wreck It Ralph toys.

[Mark Normand]

Dang.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You're like the day before Thanksgiving when Mike's calling a guy I know. Pathetic.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, you ain't nerd. You nothing. Well, it's a Spectrum. Yeah. Damn. I do have a wife and child, which a Lot of those guys do not.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's true.

[Mike Vecchione]

Right?

[Mark Normand]

Damn. That's crazy. Wreck it, Ralph.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. If you're in something like that, then, you know, that's like, they could sell it and.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Is there a market for that, though? Like, how much are they really getting for.

[Mark Normand]

And I've signed. I'm like, who's buying?

[Sam Morril]

I tell them that when they. When they. When they, like, any time. Like, no one wants.

[Mark Normand]

No one wants me. Get Jim Carrier Murphy.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, the thing too is the more that get signed, the more the value goes down.

[Mark Normand]

Ah, good point. Okay. You're really gonna do 65 bucks? You know, the shipping in. Is that worth it?

[Sam Morril]

Damn. Back in the day, if you were a retired athlete, autographs was like, that's how you kept making money.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, sure, sure.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But it was a big deal. Like, Joe DiMaggio would just make a ton of money signing.

[Mike Lawrence]

You could quit and just be a greeter at a casino.

[Mark Normand]

That's.

[Sam Morril]

That's my head shot.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's an oldie.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that's a good one. $62.

[Mark Normand]

42.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, 42.

[Mike Vecchione]

And you did a star, David, so.

[Sam Morril]

We know it's real.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Good boy.

[Mike Lawrence]

So now, is there a discount for the holidays for the high ones?

[Sam Morril]

Does Pete. Does. Pete is obsessed with Tony Soprano, right?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

I saw a thing of him buying like a Tony Soprano watch.

[Mike Vecchione]

So we. I'm staying at his place right now. We drove in. My wife's in Paulie Walnuts car signed by Tony Sirico.

[Sam Morril]

You're in Paulie Walnut's car? You should have gotten the car of the one where the fat gay guy blew him in. What does that go for?

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm sure he's tried it. And the cowboy hat that, you know, like, I ended up watching it for the first time, like a few years ago. And that was one of the saddest stories. And what was amazing about it, though, which I liked, like, in terms of writing, they never made Vito likable. He was still an asshole. But you just.

[Mike Lawrence]

He's a bully.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. Yeah. But you kind of felt bad for him. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Deserve to get fucking sodomized to death. I mean, that's such a.

[Mike Lawrence]

That's based off a true story.

[Mark Normand]

Is that right?

[Mike Lawrence]

The Decal Vacante family in New Jersey. One of the bosses was. There was a rumor that he was gay, and that rumor got him killed. So it's based on the truth.

[Sam Morril]

Mike looks like he would know fun facts.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

No, that's crazy.

[Mike Vecchione]

Everybody's got a guillotine, right? Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He'll nail the Gary Coleman guy. Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Between the two of us. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He'll do the mob stuff.

[Sam Morril]

Damn, that is. Yeah. That was tragic. Yeah. I saw a post recently. I forgot who did it. Someone tweeted this, but it was like, you know, if they made the Sopranos today, they'd make him go to a psychiatrist and his daughter would date a black guy and there'd be a gay subplot. Oh, my God. They just snuck it in. It was that good. You don't even pay attention.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. So good.

[Mike Vecchione]

I. My dumb Sopranos hot take, though, which is that I think they should have just recast the mom. The story was about him. No, no. When his. When his mom passed away, Lydia.

[Sam Morril]

She was so good, though.

[Mike Lawrence]

She was so.

[Mike Vecchione]

But she died. Yeah, but I'm saying when she died, they shouldn't have written the character out of the show. They should have gotten someone else. Should have Aunt Viv, too, because the story was him and the mom the whole time. Right. And then. And then it should have cast her.

[Sam Morril]

As a black mom. They should have gotten actual Aunt Viv.

[Mike Vecchione]

Remember, there was like, that. There was like, that Simpsons with, like. You know, we already have three grandpas that are jazz musicians. Like, every season, there's, like, a new cousin that's out of prison. And it's like they. They had these, like. Like, forced antagonists. And the mom was a natural antagonist.

[Mark Normand]

Speaking of which, how you doing with Marge dying?

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, that was just. You know, I. It's fine. I don't. I don't watch anymore.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, damn.

[Mike Vecchione]

How am I doing with the show? Dying.

[Mark Normand]

But that's pretty big deal. Killing Marge.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, but that was a fantasy sequence. She's not actually.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, really?

[Mike Vecchione]

No. I thought the lady was like, I.

[Mark Normand]

Want out, Nancy Cartwright or whatever.

[Mike Lawrence]

I thought she went to wherever Apu went.

[Mark Normand]

I thought she was really dead.

[Mike Vecchione]

That is the best gig. Harry Shearer, like, records and, like, like, his New Orleans mansion.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

And just sends this. I went to a Table Read and got to see Castellaneta Live.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

Him doing Homer Live is like. It's insane. And then he goes into Quimby and Groundskeeper Willie. There was a part of it where it was him and Grandpa and he's just.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

Going back and forth with himself.

[Sam Morril]

They used to go on Conan and.

[Mark Normand]

Do that a little bit.

[Sam Morril]

I think it was Harry Shearer and Dan Kessel and all.

[Mike Vecchione]

You would never see Kavner do it. Like, on Inside the Actor's Studio, they would show everybody. Everybody else but her. There's also an LA Law episode where Dan Castellaneta plays a guy who is obsessed with being Homer Simpson.

[Mark Normand]

Pull it up.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Go network. You had net worth there. I want to see that. These guys are.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, it's got to be stupid.

[Mike Lawrence]

No, I'm just kidding. I don't know, man.

[Mike Vecchione]

You know what's amazing, though, is like, a lot of those guys were just on the Tracy Ullman show.

[Mark Normand]

That's right.

[Mike Vecchione]

And they're like, hey, you want to just do the this voice also? And that's like forever money.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. I know the show is shitty now, but it would be nice if it just never went away. I like that it's still going.

[Mike Vecchione]

I don't know. I disagree.

[Mark Normand]

It's kind of. It's like a safety blanket. Oh, what the hell.

[Sam Morril]

An organization that takes, like a serious.

[Mike Vecchione]

Show and dims their boat.

[Mark Normand]

Wow, that's too weird.

[Sam Morril]

That is really.

[Mike Vecchione]

But then he takes. He. I think he takes the mask off and it's, you know, and then they.

[Mike Lawrence]

Get on with the episode.

[Sam Morril]

I wish there was more. Voiceover stuff is so. Is so fun. I wish there was more. I did. I did like a few episodes on 10 Year Old Tom and it was so fucking fun.

[Mark Normand]

It's so annoying because people with both of us are like, you should do voiceover. I'm like, I would love to.

[Sam Morril]

I'd love to.

[Mark Normand]

Coveted. Nobody wants to give up their job.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's funny the way that. That. That homer is like, you know, drawn. Like, you could tell that is exactly like 1992. That's like season three. They're still figuring it out.

[Mark Normand]

Yep. Yep.

[Sam Morril]

Back when you could figure out a show.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Now you better come out of the gate swinging it.

[Mark Normand]

You.

[Sam Morril]

Even if you do, Netflix will just like, buy and then cancel a show. Like nothing.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

What do they give you, four episodes to prove yourself?

[Sam Morril]

I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

Something like that.

[Mike Vecchione]

I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

But my thing is start firing the guys who said no to a project and then they pick it up like. Like Family Guy. Somebody canceled Family Guy. They made a decision in a boardroom and they canceled the show. And then it got picked up again on a different ch. And now it's the biggest cartoon of all time. That guy should be fired for canceling it.

[Mike Vecchione]

Right?

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Mike Vecchione]

Everyone said no to Squid Game.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Mike Vecchione]

For years.

[Mark Normand]

There you go.

[Mike Vecchione]

For years. I think it took 15 years for that to get on the air.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

We're complaining about 18 months. We got to shut the up.

[Mike Vecchione]

That's just you. That's just me.

[Sam Morril]

You need one whiny person in the group.

[Mark Normand]

You do.

[Mike Vecchione]

He'll just text it. Like, when are we going to know? I'm like, we're not.

[Sam Morril]

I'm used to sending that with pregnancy texts.

[Mike Vecchione]

So there's only so many ways you could tell your writing partner, we don't matter.

[Mike Lawrence]

Sam writes back, but we're straight white. Don't they respect that?

[Sam Morril]

I don't understand.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, I won night in college. But besides that.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

It sucks. I think we're just used to comedy. We need to stand up. Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

It either works or it doesn't.

[Mark Normand]

Yep.

[Sam Morril]

We're used to knowing.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. December 2023 was when we first talked about. Yeah. The idea.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Crazy.

[Sam Morril]

But it evolves, you know, it gets better.

[Mark Normand]

It could have been made and canceled by now. Right, Right.

[Sam Morril]

There's this great book called Pictures at a Revolution by Mark Harris, and it's like, all about the movies that change Hollywood in the late 60s. So it's like the best picture movie. So it's like Bonnie and Clyde, Guess who's Coming to Dinner, which was like kind of the, you know, the fake progressive movie. And then they. In the Heat of the Night, which was kind of like the more badass one. Then it was Dr. Dolittle, which was a huge bomb. And then the last one was the Graduate. So it's like how it changed Hollywood. But, you know, Bonnie and Clyde was crazy, cutting edge, brand new, and it took like, I don't know, like five years to get made.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You think you got Warren Beatty and, you know, it went through all these people. They originally was like, Truffaut was attached to direct it.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

Warren Beatty isn't fully Warren Beatty until Bonnie and Clyde come true.

[Sam Morril]

He's badass.

[Mike Lawrence]

But it's always somebody has to take a risk. That's really what it comes down to. Somebody's gonna have balls and take a risk.

[Mike Vecchione]

And the biggest problem now is they just spend too much money on everything. Yeah. And then they look at everything as being too costly and it's like, just lower the budgets.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I know.

[Sam Morril]

Just charge more for paper towels and you can make this show Amazon. Come on.

[Mark Normand]

Well, that too.

[Mike Vecchione]

No, but it's like everything that cost over a hundred million dollars all looks the same.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

You know, but when you like the first Deadpool was only 50 million because Fox didn't believe in it. And it looks different than other comic movies. The love story is more grounded and believable because they. They had to make it character based because they couldn't afford to just do a bunch of action. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It's almost cool to see when, you know, if you look at, like, an old Scorsese movie where he had to work within a budget as opposed to now, he just do anything. But when you watch, like, Mean Streets or Taxi Driver, you're like, holy shit. He had to work with him.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. That's what used to end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had run times. Yeah. Like, that's the thing, too. I don't. You know. Yeah. You're like the greatest director. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Sometimes there's too much leash.

[Mike Vecchione]

Haven't you worked with the same editor? Like, talk to Phil. Machine maker. Let her.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, she did. Yeah. That's why the movies are still going.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, she got cut.

[Mark Normand]

She died. Yeah. She's on the cutter room floor.

[Mike Vecchione]

No, he needs somebody. Right. It's like, I remember when we were on tour and Killers of the Flower Moon came out and everybody. Everybody went to go see it except me, because I brought my PS5 because Spider Man 2 had just come out and my son wasn't even like, one yet. And so it's like, this is my only time. It's like, you know, fucking Burgess Meredith with the books in the vault. Yeah. And I was like, I'm gonna actually stay in.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Mike Vecchione]

I remember even my wife, like, you got to go to the movies if they're going to the movies. You know, like, those who look at you as not like, you know, playing along and everything. I'm like, they know that your Spider.

[Mike Lawrence]

Man told you not to go.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

But then I remember, like, everybody went but me. And they all hated it.

[Mike Lawrence]

I think they walked out and you.

[Mark Normand]

Saved three and a half hours.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You could beat the whole game.

[Mike Vecchione]

Right? This. This episode is incredible also because. But people often forget about it. Is that his wife hates. Hates books. And she crosses out every word in the book meticulously.

[Mark Normand]

What is she, a Florida teacher?

[Mike Vecchione]

But I wanted to read about they's and thems. There was time. Now.

[Mike Lawrence]

That was a great episode.

[Sam Morril]

It is funny when you go to a Barnes and Noble, though, now, and there's like, it'll be like a table and it's like, outlawed books. I'm like, well, they're not really outlawed. I'm looking right at them. They're right here.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. You actually raised the price on.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're trending now.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Mouse is like $60 now.

[Mike Lawrence]

Martin Noble should just transition into a coffee shop.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

That has books.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Mike Vecchione]

That's a public restroom. Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Public restroom is really the selling point.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Libraries now, it's just hobo heaven.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Air conditioning. There's Internet.

[Mike Vecchione]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

Bathroom, dude.

[Mike Vecchione]

When I. When I. When I moved to New York in 2007, I didn't have WI fi for like the first few months. It just. Just waiting in a library, you know, with the cum filled keyboard and just. You knew like, who was in the queue in front of you. I gotta go on Craigslist and look up jobs.

[Mark Normand]

God, it sounds so antiquate. You used to have a fucking tape deck. Remember that? Yeah. With the batteries that would fall out.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. Remember I'd bring three liter sodas.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, yes. Before the band.

[Sam Morril]

Do you still have sodas a lot?

[Mark Normand]

Lot.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, you have one right now?

[Mike Vecchione]

A couple a day.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Mike Vecchione]

Wow.

[Mike Lawrence]

The band was hilarious, though. I love the band because people lost it. They were like, you can't.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's a constitutional right.

[Mike Lawrence]

It's like, we're not. We're not saying that you can't get as much. You can go back and get refills on a 32 ounce, but you just can't have a 64 ounce.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's like, it's un American.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Sam Morril]

Americans just don't want to be told they can't do anything.

[Mark Normand]

That's true.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

It's like the. When they. Drinking and driving used to be legal and then they made it a law. And there's a video of like a local news guy. He's like, this is crazy. I can't drink and drive. What kind of country am I living in? What's next? They're gonna take away coffee.

[Mike Lawrence]

I never thought smoking indoors, the smoking ban indoors was gonna take. I was like, there's no way this takes.

[Sam Morril]

Thank God. That took. Thank God.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

It turned out to be a great idea.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Mike Lawrence]

I was wrong.

[Mike Vecchione]

I've only been here two days and the amount of people that smoke outside, I. Nobody smokes in la.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Mike Vecchione]

No. So it's like just walking around. Yeah. Vaping and all that, but walking around, like smelling cigarette smoke. It's like, it's.

[Mark Normand]

I know. Especially the heat.

[Mike Vecchione]

I just love that, like, scientist had to prove it was bad. No. Just cigarettes.

[Mike Lawrence]

No. It's the same thing with the phone now where it's like. We all know it's bad, but there's no. Like. I guess there's. I guess maybe there is hard, scientific, but it's not like it was kind of like smoking where it's like. Like when my mother smoked, I was like, where did you think the smoke went when you inhaled It. It's like, well, we knew, but there was no hard.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Mike Lawrence]

I mean, evidence out there.

[Mike Vecchione]

They have a Will Smith movie where he's brave enough to be like, yeah. When people get hit in the head in football, it's not good.

[Mark Normand]

Tell the truth.

[Mike Vecchione]

Can he rap in that accent?

[Mark Normand]

That guy was wronged. That's a crazy story.

[Mike Lawrence]

Oh, yeah, that's right. Doctors would smoke.

[Mark Normand]

Pull up the. If you can find the local news of the guys bitching about drinking and driving. Driving. It's so. It's in Texas. There's a woman just furious.

[Sam Morril]

How the hell do people not know vape?

[Mike Vecchione]

Dude in the 50s, like, you're charging.

[Sam Morril]

It in a USB port and then smoking it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You think that's not bad for you.

[Mark Normand]

And it's crazy flavors. It's all bad.

[Mike Lawrence]

It feels like you're downloading cancer.

[Sam Morril]

It's like 23, 27.

[Mike Vecchione]

Rod Serling with tumor. He died of lung cancer, but he would smoke all the time in Twilight Zones.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Groucho on you bet your life. Like, five minute cigarette, Adam.

[Mark Normand]

100%.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I think cigarettes are disgusting. Unless I'm drunk, in which case I'm like, I crave one when I'm hammered. You gotta have.

[Mark Normand]

Everybody switches.

[Sam Morril]

I was smoking a vape the other night because I was with a lady who was vaping. I was like, just give it to me. And I'm like, this is disgusting. When you're drinking, when you're drunk, it hits.

[Mark Normand]

I get it. I get it. I like a cigar every now and then, too.

[Mike Vecchione]

I love it.

[Mike Lawrence]

I got the little ones so you don't have to dedicate all that time to it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it's very time consuming.

[Mike Vecchione]

This is my addiction. I have hundreds, if not at least a thousand action figures away from the building. Yeah, it's an adult collectible.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

This is Kingo from the movie Eternals. I actually got this figure because, yeah, I'm buddies with Kumail and I just put the head on, like, other characters. So I have, like, Spider Kumail.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, that would be fun if you kept that in your pocket at the end of the day, you're like.

[Mike Lawrence]

After.

[Mark Normand]

Sex, you're like, give me Kingo.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, I'm the kingdom of my castle.

[Sam Morril]

What is this?

[Mike Vecchione]

It's kind of getting common, this one. A fellow can't put in a hard.

[Mark Normand]

Day'S work, put in 11, 12 hours a day, and then get in your truck and at least run one or two beers.

[Mike Vecchione]

He's the white version of that black comic we watched.

[Mark Normand]

This is a Californian too. This ain't even like a Alabama.

[Sam Morril]

Keep going. I want to see what else we got.

[Mark Normand]

Laws where you can't drink, you can't. You have to wear a seat belt when you're driving.

[Sam Morril]

That one's reasonable.

[Mark Normand]

Pretty soon we're gonna be communist country. Communist country. I mean, look at this.

[Mike Vecchione]

She's still alive and the baby isn't.

[Sam Morril]

I don't get what's the objection with the seat belt?

[Mark Normand]

Well, it's the forcing. That's the fact that it's a law now and it traps you.

[Mike Lawrence]

If you happen to drive into water, you can't get it, you can't get out.

[Mike Vecchione]

And also, also, the thing is, I know you just became a dad, but parenting, especially if you tell anyone how to raise their kid that you have to put a seat belt, all that kind of stuff, it's just. It gets so personal.

[Mark Normand]

Oh yeah, Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

I mean, going to the playground is like exhausting because you don't turned on. You know, like we're working together, you know, if I get arrested for pedophilia, that's not good. Good for the show.

[Sam Morril]

No, no.

[Mark Normand]

Or the kids.

[Mike Vecchione]

That's bad for everyone that might get it launched.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. A scandal could help.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, no, but like, you know, you don't. Because you don't know how other people are raising their kids and stuff. And if their kid does something with your kid and you know, even if like, like, like something like sharing like. No, he could have some if he wants and then they'll be like, we're teaching him not to.

[Mike Lawrence]

Becomes a RICO conspiracy then.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Has anyone like, have you done anything away and you're like, oh, maybe we should do it that way?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, I mean, I definitely. You know, watching other people hit their kids reminds me why I'll never hit my. Yeah, that was, that was traumatizing. Like he, like Logan was like one in three months and he was playing with this boy at like a train station and the mom just smacked him. Right in front of your kid? No, no. Okay, the kid, the kid in front of Logan. Logan saw it.

[Mark Normand]

Oh yeah. That's heavy.

[Sam Morril]

Damn. I like that when that happened to my kid. Cuz it showed my kid like, look, your life could be this shitty. It was like, I don't hit my kid, obviously.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

But it's like I, he.

[Sam Morril]

And he acts out a lot because of it.

[Mark Normand]

That's why I leave a Tina Turner photo at the house show.

[Mike Vecchione]

The wife, Rihanna, has a jellyfish.

[Mark Normand]

This will be you Give me a raspberry.

[Sam Morril]

He shows this kid. The R. Kelly documentary. Could be really bad for you, dude.

[Mark Normand]

You're lucky.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. You want to be trapped in the closet again? Volume 23.

[Mark Normand]

Nickelodeon doc again. You want to get slimed.

[Mike Vecchione]

Quite on set.

[Sam Morril]

That was a dark doc, dude.

[Mike Vecchione]

I watched it, too.

[Sam Morril]

That poor kid, man. Jesus Christ.

[Mike Lawrence]

That's a thing. You guys should do a documentary about something.

[Mark Normand]

Something.

[Mike Lawrence]

Not trying to write a show, just something that's already out there. And the dark side of it.

[Mark Normand]

Child abuse.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

The dark side of child abuse.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Mike Lawrence]

Because everybody knows about the upside.

[Mark Normand]

Damn, she looks rough.

[Sam Morril]

Poor man of binds. Yeah. Something went bad.

[Mark Normand]

She used to be. That's my type. That age.

[Mike Vecchione]

What? The one on the left.

[Sam Morril]

She looks like the Blueberry. The Rihanna roll. Jesus Christ.

[Mike Vecchione]

She looks like she's about to say something sassy to Drew Carey.

[Mark Normand]

A lot of 90s sitcoms.

[Sam Morril]

Jesus Christ. Cleveland rocks. Damn.

[Mike Vecchione]

That show was great, man.

[Mark Normand]

That was a really innovative show.

[Mike Vecchione]

Blue collar Seinfeld. Oh, that's what it was. It was Seinfeld for pores.

[Mark Normand]

I like that.

[Sam Morril]

I like that show.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Drew Carey's kind of underappreciated.

[Mike Vecchione]

Ryan Styles.

[Mark Normand]

Just killer.

[Mike Vecchione]

Literally. Poor man's creamer.

[Mark Normand]

Dedrick Bader was great.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, he's the George.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. And they had the girl who was too attractive.

[Mike Vecchione]

And then that's Newman.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's actually the actor who played Newman.

[Mike Vecchione]

That's way night during the day. That's.

[Sam Morril]

Damn, dude.

[Mike Vecchione]

And then they would do. Remember, they would, like, do like. Like improv. Improvised, like, episodes and stuff.

[Mark Normand]

They were doing musical episodes.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

It was fun.

[Sam Morril]

It's cool when shows took swings like that back in the day.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Even if it missed, you're like, all right, you tried, right?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Now we did a live one. Remember that? Yeah, that was.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, that was the improv one. Yeah. And they would do it in. They did one in the east coast and the west coast and. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Cool.

[Mike Lawrence]

30 Rock is such a good show.

[Mark Normand]

So good.

[Mike Lawrence]

It's so good. I mean, it's ridiculous. And it's like, why. It wasn't the. This commercially. I mean, it was. Yeah, it was too smart. It's like people are tired from work and they sit down. It's like they just don't want to think.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

I think that's what it is.

[Mike Vecchione]

I mean, the sex symbol that Scott Adset could have been if we just let him into our hearts, I feel.

[Sam Morril]

But it went like, what, seven seasons? It was a huge hit. It just.

[Mike Lawrence]

It was a It was a critic.

[Sam Morril]

What is it?

[Mike Lawrence]

Critically acclaimed.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Whereas like what's the Charlie Sheen show? That was like a huge hit.

[Mike Vecchione]

Two and a Half Men.

[Mike Lawrence]

So that was a huge hit.

[Sam Morril]

How many seasons was it?

[Mike Lawrence]

30 Rock was like a critically acclaimed.

[Mark Normand]

It was critically acclaimed.

[Mike Vecchione]

Okay. Do you Mark will remember this guy? I don't know if you guys will, but it's one of my favorite sad showbiz stories. Do you. Do you guys remember Gary?

[Mark Normand]

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[Sam Morril]

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[Mark Normand]

Bullet up.

[Mike Vecchione]

I don't know. It's like cold heater after four beers. But no. Gary was this open micr at yes. Old guy glasses and he sounded like Elmer Fudd. He's like, I'm Gary. Remember that guy? Okay. So.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yes.

[Mike Vecchione]

All right. So I remember he told me this vaguely. He told me this story where you'll never find him. He was.

[Mark Normand]

He was like, covert ops.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. Yeah. And I. And I do believe he passed, but he was on 30 Rock as an extra for years and years, and he told me this story. He was like. And Tina said that I was gonna get a line in the finale.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Mike Vecchione]

And. And. And then I watched it in my shelter. He was in a homeless shelter, like, watching the episode of 30 Rock and saw that his line was cut. Wow.

[Mark Normand]

The cast of characters that we saw. Remember Charlie Abelson? Oh, he's gotta be dead angry Bob Bell.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, they. They missed the Kill Tony, but boat right in there with every pen of psycho.

[Sam Morril]

They'd be selling out a funny bone.

[Mike Vecchione]

Here's the thing. A lot of those guys would still bomb on Kill Tony because they'd be like, I can't just do one minute.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. That's true.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Because they gave you more time at the Village Lantern. It wasn't just one minute.

[Mike Vecchione]

You could really explore your soul.

[Mike Lawrence]

In five, is Colin with a drink ticket?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Is Colin Kane still around Donkey Punch fame? I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

I don't remember. Yeah, he's got to be. I don't know where he's.

[Mike Vecchione]

That was my favorite thing about the Village Lantern is there just be a big sign. Colin Kane's Donkey Punch. It was a show that was there.

[Mike Lawrence]

I know he was like. It was maybe 10 years ago, but he was like. He sold out Gotham.

[Mark Normand]

I remember that.

[Mike Lawrence]

He was selling out.

[Mark Normand]

He would crush.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. Oh. I did an MTV showcase with him and me and Drucker. Mike Drucker bombed and he killed. And we just were like, the bull.

[Sam Morril]

He was like. Like, it didn't add up. I was like, the hot guy who just hated women.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

That character.

[Mike Lawrence]

But he didn't start that way. He didn't start that way. No, no. It evolved into that. I think he was like, dude, he was running shows in the Village Lantern. He was like, doing jokes, doing real. And then he got managed by Louis Ferranda at Caroline, so he's getting a bunch of spots there.

[Mark Normand]

That's where I started.

[Mike Lawrence]

And then. But then it turned into. It turned into that.

[Mike Vecchione]

I heard a story that. I heard a story that he turned away Judah Friedlander at, like, Caroline's or something, because he was like, yeah. This guy's like, yeah. He thought he was a homeless guy, and the, you know, guy shows up in a championship of the world with the glasses and the hat and, you know, Colin Kane's not watching 30 Rock. Right, right.

[Mark Normand]

He was a hunk. I saw him open for Norm MacDonald. I paid the money and saw Norm McDonald. My hero. And then Colin Kane opened, and I was like, oh, this is weird.

[Mike Lawrence]

Open mic fun, right?

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Colin. Can the same sentence.

[Mark Normand]

What year?

[Mike Vecchione]

Wow. I mean, this year literally sounds like 2009.

[Mike Lawrence]

Eight or nine.

[Mark Normand]

08, right?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Close.

[Mike Vecchione]

Very nice.

[Sam Morril]

At comics.

[Mark Normand]

That was a different time.

[Sam Morril]

They still owe me money.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Sam Morril]

Piece of club.

[Mike Vecchione]

The one in Foxwoods?

[Sam Morril]

No, no, no. They weirdly, they made good.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

The one in the meat packing in New York City.

[Mark Normand]

14Th Street. That was like our room. We'd go to Ochi's every week.

[Mike Vecchione]

The place that was closed down by white rap. Remember, Tom McCaffrey started doing rap there, and the last show that they did was, like, one of his shows. And for a club to have their final show be a former comedian turned rapper. Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice. I say, but that's how it always.

[Mike Lawrence]

Is when the comedy club opens. It's like they just roll out the red carpet. We want to treat our comics right. Like, you know, dinner menu. We want free meal, whatever. But by the end, it's like, okay, you get choice of these five snacks.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

And then we'll pay you two weeks.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

First they're like pumpkin ravioli. Holy. The hell's going on here?

[Mark Normand]

CBS was the same way. You're like, whoa. How about this?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but, you know, they're laundering something or they're going to you.

[Mike Vecchione]

I remember showing up and he's like, I can't. I can't pay you. But he's like, I got these bottles of wine. I'm like, I don't drink. It's like. And you stole them. Very clearly.

[Sam Morril]

So utterly the most criminal. I can't pay you, but do you like cigars?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I'll blow you.

[Mike Lawrence]

I love that. It's a fencing operation now with a comedy element.

[Mike Vecchione]

Don't go near the Cuban embassy with these.

[Sam Morril]

I remember Norman and I went to comics like, it must have been 2010. And we watched. It was Greg Giraldo's last time headlining through crew and, dude, we were like, every other joke, we were, like, high fiving. We were kids. We're like, this is incredible. You know, Incredible.

[Mark Normand]

I saw Patrice there.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Geraldo there. I saw Marin do a what the. With Attella was on. I think Geraldo was on. It was incredible. Who else did I see there? I saw some grass, saw Aziz.

[Mike Vecchione]

I saw Mulaney there the first time.

[Mark Normand]

I saw Louis do Shameless there.

[Mike Lawrence]

Where is this?

[Mike Vecchione]

I was.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, maybe you weren't there.

[Sam Morril]

That was a great hour.

[Mark Normand]

Great hour.

[Mike Lawrence]

Where is this place?

[Mark Normand]

Comics.

[Mike Vecchione]

I love comics. I lost an ECNY. It was me, dad, St. Germain, Kate McKinnon.

[Sam Morril]

What's an ECN? What's an ECN?

[Mike Vecchione]

Emerging comics of New York Awards. I remember that in 2009 and when I was nominated for emerging comic. Don't worry, you guys won in the end. Yeah, it was. Was. You know, it was like. It was like alt comedy awards, basically.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

But, yeah, it was Kate McKinnon before SNL and she was nominated. And, yeah, Mike Kaplan won.

[Mark Normand]

We were always in the basement. Doing the Ochi's Lounge was like the B room. We were always doing the open mic. But to go upstairs was a real treat. It was.

[Mike Vecchione]

Remember the first time I got booked upstairs?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, me too. That's when I up DeRosa's intro, and he yelled at me for, like, a half hour. Hilarious. I don't know what I was.

[Sam Morril]

Hilarious.

[Mark Normand]

It was like 2010, and it was the height of Fear Factor or something. And I was in the green room. I was hosting. I was so nervous, and I go, hey, everybody, next up, give it up for Joe Rogan. And the crowd was like, whoa, hey, a TV guy. And it was Joe Derosa. But the Joes and the O's and the R I it up. And he walked out in this disgusting smooshy, you know, pasty Egyptian walks out. They're like, ah. So he claims to ruin his whole set. That and eventually his career. All right.

[Mike Lawrence]

And he's. Have you held it against him ever since?

[Mark Normand]

What do you mean, it was my fault?

[Mike Lawrence]

Oh, okay. Him screaming at you.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, no, I up as well. I. He was half joking, but he was pissed.

[Mike Vecchione]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Mark Normand]

What could you do, dude?

[Mike Vecchione]

I. I re. I remember we judged a roast battle in Austin, and this guy came up to him after and was like, you know, you were. You know, you could have been a little nicer. And Joe's like, I was being nice. You were terrible.

[Mark Normand]

Wow, Joe.

[Mike Vecchione]

I love Joe, man. I remember one time we were at the stand and a guy came up and did the whole, you know, heckling, but I was just helping out. It's just like, no, you weren't. Yeah, we're not helping out. Like, just to have that. I never have that confidence.

[Sam Morril]

I Love a guy who's this close to the edge at all times. He's this close to breaking. And his posture also suggested he wakes.

[Mike Vecchione]

Up at, like, Michael Douglas and falling down.

[Mark Normand]

Well, the best St. Germain roast joke, he goes, derosa, you look like you are constantly hearing about Sandy Hook.

[Mike Vecchione]

Did you do Saint Germain? I remember Saint Germaine had a roast, and Comedy Central came, and they were like, this is the meanest thing.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, we went.

[Mike Vecchione]

That we've ever.

[Mark Normand]

We went for the jugular, and everyone.

[Mike Vecchione]

It was brutal.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that was fun. Roasting got kind of crazy on YouTube somewhere, I think.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It got to a point where I remember a tell once saw one of them. He was like, jesus Christ. Keep it surface. Like, you're, like, digging into people's, like, family tree.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Because it's your career, and it's like, if you. It's like, this is my big break, so let me break up. This guy's dead dad.

[Mark Normand]

That's what it was. Call him gay dead relatives.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. I never took talk to. To Ralphie after Rose Petal killed him.

[Sam Morril]

We thought it'd be the cholesterol. But it was you.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, it was me and Jerry. All right. He had accomplices.

[Sam Morril]

I was watching that Roast Live, you vs Ralphie May, and I was like, he's gonna kill him on stage.

[Mark Normand]

I watched him yell at Jeff Ross, like, you, you know, backstabbed me. You're supposed to be my friend. And Jeff's like, you didn't have any job jokes.

[Mike Vecchione]

Can I tell you what happened before? It was crazy. So, like, you know, I said like, hey, is there anything off limits? And he goes, I'm an open book. Say whatever the fuck you want. And of course, he didn't realize, like, you know, I googled his divorce, and. But. But I remember when we were filming that day when we were doing rehearsals, a guy is, like, on his knee filming up, and he's like, you're giving me the fucking Godzilla shot. You're trying to make me look fatter.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

And he's, like, getting mad.

[Sam Morril]

That's why you look fat.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

And I just. I just remember I'm, like, knowing what I was gonna say, and I'm like, if this is pissing you off, buddy.

[Sam Morril]

Do you remember any of the jokes?

[Mike Vecchione]

I remember all of them.

[Mark Normand]

Give me one to the ring joke.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh. The roughest part of Ralphie's divorce was getting the ring off his finger. Jesus. This one. I mean, this is the one that, like, this is my opener, because his whole. His whole narrative was every other comic is just gonna say, I'm fat, and. And they're hacks for doing it. Right? So I said, you know, Ralphie's going through a divorce. It says a lot about your shitty personality that your wife would rather take half your money now when she could wait three months for all of it. That is. So that's when he, like. He immediately is like, wait, what? What did I get into? Yes.

[Mark Normand]

Because he brought the little Febreze bottle. You smell bad. Or whatever.

[Mike Vecchione]

This thing was just that I stink. And he called me Pepe Le Pew. Yeah. And then my closer, which is one of the best jokes I'll ever write, was, you know, I know it's hack, you know, for me to call you fat. And then. And then. And then he leans into it, not realizing. He goes, it is.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

I was like, but your family's gone. Everyone deserted you, and that fan beat you on last comic stand. And the reason I make fun of your weight is because it's the only thing you haven't lost.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's poetic. Now, here's ironic. That joke has no fat on it.

[Mike Vecchione]

Here's the thing. The way that his face shifted when I said the DAT fan thing was just. That was liposuction, but that was. That was where he legit got really pissed, where it was like, come on, man. Because it was in Montreal in front of all these execs, and. And, you know, there's those guys who. They can't let something like that go. Like, he surpassed that fan in every fucking way.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, he's a great.

[Mike Vecchione]

But he lost him on a TV show, and I knew it would still bother him, of course.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. But we never talked to Gad. I ran into his ex, like, two weeks later, which made me feel. Feel really bad about it, because she was like, you got him.

[Mark Normand]

You got him.

[Mike Vecchione]

Good job. I'm like, I didn't do it for you. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Well, the real loser is the stool. Wow. He had to get a stool. And then another stool.

[Mike Vecchione]

Wow, dude.

[Sam Morril]

And I remember even Ozempic would have been, I can't do anything for this.

[Mike Vecchione]

One of his reps came up to me, like, a few months after. He's like, you went too far. And I'm like, you're the one who keeps booking him. He's like, you know, like, it is, you know, roast battles. It's like, you know, you're in a UFC fight.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

And you're just like. I mean. And I. If he had said, hey, divorce is off limits, then divorce is off limits.

[Mark Normand]

Right. Well, you're like a backyard brawler. And he was like a. Like a Olympic wrestler. And you just went in and.

[Sam Morril]

He wasn't a roast guy, though. He was a. Obviously a very skilled comic. You know, he was prolific. And he was a murderer on.

[Mike Vecchione]

Even his fans were like, you know, he's a better cop. I never said he wasn't.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, we're doing a roast battle.

[Mike Vecchione]

I just said no one loves him.

[Mark Normand]

You went for one.

[Mike Lawrence]

I just said it was fat in 15 different ways.

[Mark Normand]

You went for the Juggler. Not easy to find. The weird thing is you drink more soda.

[Mike Lawrence]

Maybe high fructose corn syrup.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, I had to. I had to. I had to think like his audience.

[Mark Normand]

He had a Donnie Brasco.

[Mike Vecchione]

Damn.

[Mark Normand]

Poor. Well, remember.

[Mike Vecchione]

Remember, like, a few. Before we battled. He was really mad at Chelsea Peretti.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

On Twitter.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Mike Vecchione]

Because she had an album, a special, called One of the Greats, ironically. Yeah, yeah. And he was like. I went with, you know, I've seen Richard Pryor. I've seen, you know, George Carlin. George Carlin. You're not one of the greats. The whole thing was like, it's a joke. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Mike Vecchione]

And when I saw that, I was like, why is he in a battle, man? This is.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Damn.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Well, Rip.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

He's taking up two seats on that flight to heaven.

[Mark Normand]

He broke the stairway.

[Mike Vecchione]

Him and Brian are together. Did you see what they said about you? Did you see what they said on that podcast about my boy Ralphie? They broke. My boy Ralphie is Luca Brzi. Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Damn.

[Mike Vecchione]

No one had to tell him to take the canoli.

[Sam Morril]

He's Fetuccini Alfredo.

[Mark Normand]

There we go.

[Sam Morril]

All right. Poor Ralphie.

[Mark Normand]

Good comic.

[Mike Vecchione]

Check out his great. Now promote him. Yeah, Check him out on itunes. Yeah, he was unplugged in 2017, but we're plugging him in 2025.

[Sam Morril]

Damn, dude.

[Mike Vecchione]

He was a pro wrestler.

[Sam Morril]

The guy.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

No, no, the guy played Luca Brazzi.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Mark Normand]

Now, Ralphie was Sumo. Did you know Uncle Junior was also in the Godfather? Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

You know this Part two.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Who is he?

[Mike Vecchione]

No, he's Johnny Ola.

[Mike Lawrence]

Johnny Ola.

[Sam Morril]

Wasn't that part Junior?

[Mike Lawrence]

Wasn't it Part two?

[Mark Normand]

Maybe.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I just. We watched Goodfellas last week, and I was like, holy, I forgot Tony Ciro is in this.

[Mike Vecchione]

Those guys, they just. They probably had like a. You know, like Guinea Express. Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Well, they. He's from Brooklyn. They're all just.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

They don't know each other.

[Mike Lawrence]

It's the same 10 guys in all the movies, I think, Johnny.

[Mike Vecchione]

But the thing, like, even if you say, like, two lines in a movie like that, that's. You're at least a hundred thousand dollars. I'm thinking just residuals.

[Mark Normand]

No, definitely.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, Godfather residuals.

[Mike Vecchione]

The guy who was the. The warden in Shawshank, he was like. He said six figures reserves when TNT was showing it every week.

[Sam Morril]

That guy's acting a lot, that character.

[Mike Vecchione]

Remember when you, like, you didn't know what to say to your dad, so you just put TNT on and hope Shaw Shank was playing?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, right, right. By the way, look this up.

[Mike Vecchione]

Also an Ace Ventura, too.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's right.

[Sam Morril]

That's Ralphie's wife looking into his butt.

[Mark Normand]

That's what the donut sees before you.

[Mike Vecchione]

Either start living or start dieting.

[Mark Normand]

He's hitting the plate with a rock. But it's just chocolate. Look at how much a woman speaks in. In Shawshank.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's just the poster. It's just the poster. Rita Hayward.

[Mark Normand]

I think so.

[Sam Morril]

I think it might be any dude, say any of these, like, mob movies, like Godfather. Yeah, dude, The Irishman.

[Mike Vecchione]

Does that prison movie. Pass the Bechtel test, Chief.

[Mark Normand]

10 seconds. Wow.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Mike Lawrence]

Saudi Arabian.

[Mark Normand]

Approved.

[Mike Vecchione]

But even if you watch it in Saudi, like tnt, their faces are blurred.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, Right.

[Mike Vecchione]

They're veiled.

[Mark Normand]

Wait, so, Mike, do you have new material? Are you back on the road? You just. You just shot it?

[Mike Vecchione]

I don't have any.

[Mike Lawrence]

I don't have any Ice and Pope stuff.

[Mark Normand]

Stuff.

[Sam Morril]

That's funny. That's the first thing intel asked me when I got off stage last night. Do you have any Pope stuff? He's so cautious.

[Mike Lawrence]

But you're working on these chunks. It's like, I don't know how you guys do it. I mean, I know Sam. We talk on the phone.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

So we're going through jokes, but I'm trying to work on, like, chunks.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

You know what I mean? And it's like, it'll work in front of someone. You guys have your own audiences now, so it's like. But it's like, it'll work in front of some audiences, and it won't work in some. Some in front of other audiences. And it's like, I can't live with that. So it's like, I have to go back and then retool. So I have a bunch of those. I have a bunch of chunks that, like, are constructed but not really working.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Which is frustrating because it's like, you got to go back and then it's like, Let me get some confidence by just writing a couple of jokes, these standalones or whatever.

[Mike Vecchione]

And then maybe you don't want to cater to, like, just Nate's crowd, or you want stuff that could work anywhere.

[Sam Morril]

Right?

[Mike Lawrence]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, that's it. I mean, I. I mean, I have to survive. They're hot. They're great. He's doing arenas.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's.

[Mike Lawrence]

It's unbelievable, and they're really hot. But it's like, I'm still in the clubs in the city, and then I go on the road and work funny bones and stuff, so I have to kill there, too.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

So it's.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but you're a killer, man. You always turn it around. You always. Every time, every hour, it's like, killer.

[Mike Lawrence]

Well, thank you. But. But I need to, like. I find that talking it out really helps, too, because I used to be a. Sit down, get a cup of coffee and just churn it out. Out, and then see how it does in the set and then listen back or whatever. But. But it really helps to, like, sit down, get on the phone, and, like. It's a lot of energy, though. It is a lot of energy to do that, to write it and then. And then sit down and talk it out and then you just gotta keep working with it, though.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. The writing alone in your room, it's so. I feel like sometimes I'm the only guy who can't crack a joke. You ever just stare at a thing? You're like, what is it?

[Mike Vecchione]

Where do I go?

[Mark Normand]

And you feel like, does other. Do other people do this?

[Mike Vecchione]

Right?

[Mark Normand]

Just be. Who sucks?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I did. There was all that Epstein news yesterday. So, yeah, I'm gonna write a good Epstein joke. I spent, like, a couple hours on it. I tried, like, eight Epstein jokes, the seller, and they all fucking whiffed. Also, my neighbor was like, can you get me tickets? I'm like, yeah, but I'm doing what I'm gonna do. So. So now my neighbors, like, just had to watch me bomb eight Epstein jokes, and I was like, I don't give a.

[Mike Lawrence]

But then you get into that thing.

[Mike Vecchione]

Where it's like, you were on an Epstein island.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, but it's like, you get on a thing like that where it's like. It's exciting because it's topical, but then you did what you did there, where it's like, okay, how much time do I spend on this?

[Sam Morril]

I know.

[Mike Lawrence]

Like, how much. I mean, we're all stubborn and, like, whatever, but it's like, how much time should I spend on this? Topic that's gonna be out of the news in six months or three months. It's like, I feel right.

[Sam Morril]

Epstein jokes are still been working.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

But now it's a new angle that there's no list.

[Mike Vecchione]

Doj Sam's Epstein jokes didn't bomb themselves.

[Sam Morril]

But I mean, the. When he killed himself. 20, 19.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Mike Vecchione]

I mean, yeah, it was when he was murdered. I don't. Yeah. I think, like, I'm not a big conspiracy theorist guy, but a guy like that has too much confidence to kill himself. There's, like, too many guys.

[Mike Lawrence]

I'm one of those few people who believes he killed himself. I believe he killed himself. I believe he got there and was like. Like, he had this big Italian cellmate who killed, like, three people and was just, like, kind of a bully guy. And he was probably bullying. I could imagine. And Epstein saw that, and he's like, this is jail. When I get to. I'm not even out of penitentiary yet. Like, this is the rest of my life. I'm just gonna get.

[Mark Normand]

And he's kids, which is like a big no. No. Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

You're just getting abused in prison.

[Mark Normand]

So it's had a great, cushy, great life. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously, he's.

[Mike Lawrence]

Well, not a great life. More, actually. That's why I did mean that.

[Sam Morril]

I don't know. It seemed like a pretty cool life to me.

[Mike Vecchione]

Dude, do you do more pedophile jokes or less pedophile jokes now that you're a father?

[Mark Normand]

I've tripled down. How do I do that to the kid?

[Mike Vecchione]

I just had my kid introduce me to other fuckable kids.

[Mark Normand]

That's the only reason I had them. Marshall.

[Mike Lawrence]

Banned from daycare. Banned from picking up his sister.

[Sam Morril]

I remember when my sister had a baby. I got her Lori Kilmartin's book about having a baby, and I didn't realize she name dropped me in the book as having a dead baby joke. So my sister's like. She mentioned you. I'm like, oh, geez. I didn't. I like a joke about leaving babies. I think it was like an old joke. It was like I saw a headline, said, stone dad leaves baby in the oven. I'm like, it should say, stone dad puts baby in the oven. That's, like, the shocking part.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, right?

[Sam Morril]

Not the leaving, you know? But I didn't say it was an A plus joke. But, yeah, I remember that joke. But I was like, holy.

[Mike Lawrence]

That was a big Italian guy. Thanks for showing that.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, that was a guy.

[Mike Lawrence]

He was a monster. He killed, like, three people. And he just, like, I think he just. He felt that. And then. And then going to, like a penitentiary. He's like, I. I just can't do this.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, right, right.

[Mike Lawrence]

But that's my theory.

[Mark Normand]

I know everybody else think cameras were just magically off. Nobody saw it. Nobody saw them dangling there.

[Sam Morril]

It is also hilarious. So that, like, you know, Trump whole thing is like, we're putting out this list. And then a few weeks ago, Elon Musk is like, he's on that list. That's why you're not releasing it. And now Trump's like, ah, we gotta fucking.

[Mark Normand]

We gotta figure it out.

[Sam Morril]

I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Then Trump's like, we'll deport. Elon keeps flipping.

[Sam Morril]

Trump is like Matt Damon in the Departed. He's like, we gotta find this guy.

[Mark Normand]

Code switch.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

It's. It's too much to keep. Oh, it's a lot to write. And people go, you get so much material, huh? You know, random people. And you're like, I can't do it all. It's too much.

[Sam Morril]

It's tough to. When it's that big a story because you're just like, well, everyone's taking swings at. It was like a. So, yeah. I mean, but it's almost just a way to keep the muscle strong to tackle those times.

[Mike Vecchione]

Also, like, you know, the day that he was elected, like, I just knew it was going to be exhausting because, like, even, like the first time, like, when people who don't care about politics are, like, looking up what impeachment means and all of that, like, we didn't do that with Biden. We would not have done that with Kamala. Like, did you know about habeas corpus? Like, when the uneducated are trying to educate themselves, that's a problem.

[Sam Morril]

And when everyone's, like, deeming themselves a political comic, like, either go for the joke or don't, but, you know, but when everyone's like, here's the angle, here's how you should view things, you're like, that's.

[Mark Normand]

That's not what you do with Twitter. It's a 350 person writer's room. So you're like, I think I got an angle. And then you open Twitter and you're like, yeah, there it is.

[Mike Vecchione]

The problem, too, is that most Trump jokes anybody can make.

[Mark Normand]

I know. That's why it's so hard to get an original one.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And.

[Mike Vecchione]

And it's like, yeah, they're. What. What are you actually saying? It's like, you know, it's a Take.

[Mark Normand]

You try to get a new take.

[Sam Morril]

I got this one. I don't think anyone's touched. It's about him being orange. I think it's gonna fucking hit, dude.

[Mike Vecchione]

I call him Commander and Cheeto.

[Sam Morril]

Whenever I see someone like, Orange man, bad takes, I'm like, have you not. You don't see this is out there.

[Mike Vecchione]

I mean, you know that they were, like, on all those late night shows, they just took out their old. They just. You know, some of the jokes you're hearing now are from the first term. Like, they're just repeating them and first term jokes.

[Mark Normand]

What about his hair, though? Has anyone tackled it?

[Sam Morril]

Nah, nah, that's all you, dude.

[Mark Normand]

All right, I'll try it.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, but it's old hat to us. But you put a joke out there like that, it'll go viral.

[Mark Normand]

It'll.

[Sam Morril]

If you have a slightly original one, it could. It could pop. But that's true also, like, you get rewarded for speed on Twitter and, like, if you. If you get it. If you get there first.

[Mike Vecchione]

But.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but there's accounts that just, like, poach your joke.

[Mark Normand]

I know there's that, too. You see the same joke over and over.

[Sam Morril]

But now it's hard to do a late night show because by the time the show is out, everyone's, like, made. So that's what you really have got to have, like, a unique angle.

[Mark Normand]

Well, topical world. Look at Josh James Johnson. It's just. It's topical.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, it's also Twitter. What happened was a lot of the people that got writing jobs from Twitter could not hang in an actual writing job, and they stopped hiring from Twitter.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, is that right?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, that was happening a lot where it's like you to. To write on, like, I've worked on, like, the Soup. Like, to write on a show like that, the amount of output that you have to have, it's like you can't be, like a couple zingers a day. You have to write, like, 80 jokes. Like, you had to write a. I.

[Sam Morril]

Don'T know how you do it, dude. Because you're one of those people that you get a subject and Mike will fucking. Like, we all know this. He will rattle like so many fucking. Even working with Mike on the Netflix thing, we're working on the show. You just see he is a fucking. You are built for those rooms, and very few are.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's work, you know, it's like. It's that thing of. I remember when we did the Movie Awards in 2015, and it's like. And you. You know what's funny is like, what's great about them. It's different than stand up. Because stand up, it's like you are trying to find the best thing. When I write on shit like that, I put the worst thing, too.

[Mark Normand]

I agree. Yeah. Throw it all out there.

[Mike Vecchione]

Because it's also. It's like you're not saying it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, right.

[Mike Lawrence]

And let them choose.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

They might think it's the best thing.

[Mark Normand]

And it could jog another thing.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are jobs where it's just. You're just filling a page. I mean, it was like amazing. Like working on the. On the Globes with Nikki or as like, like, oh, how was that? We spent like, she killed that. Oh, it was phenomenal. And the hard work was there. Like, she went up almost a hundred times. She basically, it was like we started in November and it was funny. Like, one of the jokes that aired was the first one that I submitted.

[Mark Normand]

Hey, that feels good cleavage.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Do you remember the joke?

[Mike Vecchione]

It was like, you guys can do anything except tell people who to vote for.

[Sam Morril]

Wow, you wrote that one. That's a great joke.

[Mark Normand]

Great opener.

[Sam Morril]

Great to like. That's like a nice. But good for the room, too. To kind of zing them a little bit, but not too harsh.

[Mark Normand]

Too much. Not Gervais Elliot McDade in the back being all tall.

[Mike Vecchione]

I remember I posted this photo on my own wall. And a white woman, of course, was like, oh, I bet you're the kind of guy who adopts a black baby to feel better about yourself and call yourself progressive.

[Mark Normand]

Damn.

[Mike Vecchione]

So that was.

[Mike Lawrence]

You should be like, no, I do it for human trafficking. It's actually much worse.

[Mike Vecchione]

Have you heard of Mark Norman? He's going to buy him in a few.

[Mark Normand]

I don't go with the black ones. Yeah, but. Yeah, but I'm a little appalled by the diversity. Yeah, I'm sure that came up at some point, right?

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Good times.

[Mike Vecchione]

The guy next to JP Is Black Whitaker. And the guy, Meghan Markle.

[Sam Morril]

It's like, Where's Waldo?

[Mike Vecchione]

And then. And then. Okay, the guy next to him, that's John Max. He writes on everything.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, really? He's the guy.

[Mike Vecchione]

He is the guy. He writes on every single award show. He was one of Joe Coy's guys. Don't blame him.

[Sam Morril]

Actually wrote the line where he said, you should blame us.

[Mark Normand]

You're gonna be that when he dies. That's you, baby.

[Mike Vecchione]

I hope so.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I think you got that.

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm trying to vanch my beard. You know.

[Mark Normand]

Circle gets the Square. But, yeah, you're gonna be that guy.

[Mike Vecchione]

I would happily be that guy.

[Mark Normand]

When you guys walked in, was it like, Reginald Johnson and Avery?

[Mike Vecchione]

We.

[Mark Normand]

We.

[Mike Vecchione]

We. We. We worked on a thing with Brad Pitt together, me and that guy.

[Sam Morril]

What was that?

[Mike Vecchione]

It was just. He was doing, like, some award show speech. He was presenting David Fincher or something in France. France.

[Sam Morril]

And you wrote jokes for Brad Pitt?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

How did that come about?

[Mike Vecchione]

Through him. Because I. I did. The. The.

[Sam Morril]

Can you help me with this custody hearing, too? I'm working on. Give me a couple zingers up top.

[Mike Vecchione]

Can you write from the perspective of beleaguered adopted dad?

[Mark Normand]

Both adopted black kids?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, yeah. But.

[Mike Lawrence]

But he doesn't keep in touch with any of them.

[Mark Normand]

No. No.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, Elon doesn't either. I'm trying to. You know, the autistic dad thing. I'm trying to the know.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Take that back, too.

[Sam Morril]

So what was it like working with Brad Pitt?

[Mike Vecchione]

I mean, you just sent jokes. I know.

[Sam Morril]

Did he respond or.

[Mike Vecchione]

No. I don't know. No, he never did to me. Like, John was, like, working with him directly.

[Mark Normand]

He ran him at the end, paid.

[Mike Vecchione]

In cash, and sent, like, a fucking, like, $500 bottle of wine.

[Mark Normand]

Hey.

[Sam Morril]

And you're like, I don't drink wine.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's so funny that. Yeah. I was like, can you get me more action figures, please? Can you get me Angelina Jolie, who played Ajax in the Internet?

[Sam Morril]

I heard that. I heard this new Movie's good. The F1 movie.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

He's actually great, man. He's a great actor.

[Sam Morril]

Let's get him on here.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, he's awesome.

[Mike Vecchione]

Bullet Train was great.

[Mark Normand]

Was it a lot of fun?

[Mike Vecchione]

And Angelina Jolie played Thena, not Ajax. That was Salma Hayek. I know someone would be upset, and it would be me.

[Mark Normand]

I was upset.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Brad Pitt's run has been pretty amazing. Yeah. He's in so many good movies.

[Mark Normand]

Produces good movies, too.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Departed.

[Mike Vecchione]

I love that. He's the guy who frees the slaves in 12 Years a Slave, and he produced it.

[Sam Morril]

I wonder who should play the hero here.

[Mike Lawrence]

He also played. Didn't he play a Nazi or did he beat the Nazis?

[Mark Normand]

He was like a fog.

[Sam Morril]

He was cool. As in that movie.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

All I know is Fight Club.

[Sam Morril]

Fight Club's good.

[Mike Vecchione]

I didn't watch it till too late.

[Mark Normand]

They.

[Mike Vecchione]

Fight Club was ruined by the people who love Fight Club. Yeah. It's like, fish, like, your fans aren't helping you.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but they're just. They're just both so good. Man, I love those two actors.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, but.

[Mike Lawrence]

And David Fincher is awesome.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, my God.

[Mark Normand]

That book you were talking about, about the not. Not producing the movies that are great, that I would say the same for review. Guys, I just watched the Led Zeppelin doc. They gave horrible, horrible reviews to Led Zeppelin out of the gate. This band sucks. They're not talented. They're the worst. Sorry, that came out of nowhere.

[Sam Morril]

No, I know.

[Mark Normand]

You mean. Yeah, like, they don't put on shows that are good, but they also review everything horribly.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, you know, you. You. You were asking me about pet peeves, right?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

We got to get to some.

[Mike Vecchione]

And reviews was a big one for me because, like, the Superman movie is coming out. I'm really excited about it. And, you know, they just lifted the embargo, and there's people, you know, you know, review bombing it because I like the Zack Snyder stuff and all that. My. My big pet peeve is don't listen to reviews. I was talking to a friend, and his whole thing was like, me and my wife wanted to go to a movie, and we couldn't decide because this had this on Rotten Tomatoes. It's like, just go to the movies. To go to the movies.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Fight Club is reviewed.

[Mike Lawrence]

Is it normally reviewed?

[Sam Morril]

No, I think it got booed at a festival. I think it was pretty well reviewed.

[Mark Normand]

I pull it up. Up. I think it was like, this is like a manchild, you know, movie. Blah, blah, blah. All right.

[Sam Morril]

I take 81's pretty good.

[Mark Normand]

Wow, that's incredible.

[Mike Vecchione]

You know that 96% popcorn is beating up the 4% that. I mean. Yeah, it's like.

[Sam Morril]

I remember Fair P for sure.

[Mark Normand]

Well, like, Shawshank bombed, you know, when.

[Mike Vecchione]

It came out theatrically. Yeah, that's nominated for best Picture, but.

[Mark Normand]

That's true.

[Mike Vecchione]

But a bomb. But I mean, I had one of those moms who was like, I don't want to take you to those Adam Sandler movies and those Chris Farley because they always got, like, bad ratings in the paper.

[Mark Normand]

Sure. Ace Ventura got better.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

All the comedies get horrible, right?

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, there was the thing in the In Living Color book. It's a great book, homie. Don't play that where they talk about bullying Jim Carrey because they're like, he would. He would stay at the office. Office. After everyone went home and work on Ace Ventura. But they were like, there were the amount of people that they. That was a dead script that they had passed from this person to that.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Mike Vecchione]

And they're like, there's no way this is gonna work. And the talking out of the butt thing and.

[Mark Normand]

Sure, right.

[Sam Morril]

Who else could have pulled that off, though?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

I mean, he was honing that character on stage for years, right?

[Mark Normand]

Maybe.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, God.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's great. That is my nightmare.

[Mike Vecchione]

I like that you didn't do Nikki so I can work again. See, it's somehow more diverse now. Look at all of those fathers of black children.

[Sam Morril]

I wrote down some peeves. Let me see what I got for a peeve.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I got a couple peeves.

[Sam Morril]

I got some peeves.

[Mark Normand]

This is a classic peeve. Maybe I've seen said it before, but it just gets annoying, you know, when you're in a room with it. One guy, just you and a guy in a room, and you go, what'd you eat for lunch? And they go, who, me? No, you're the only guy here that drives me nuts.

[Sam Morril]

Who, me?

[Mike Vecchione]

That. That feels like. Like you're pitching on the first day of Seinfeld. Who, me?

[Mike Lawrence]

That's small talk, though, Mark. Isn't it? Is it? Is it? Is it small talk? Well, who is he setting you up to let you know what the big lunch was?

[Mark Normand]

Well, it just mind. I'm like, who else? There's no one else here. Who else would I be talk. Talking to the. Who, me? Like, oh, oh, me. Like he's caught off guard.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I don't get it. It's crazy. I'm talking to you. I'm looking at you. You're the only person here when you go, Me? Yeah, you? Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Who you hanging out with, Betty Boop.

[Mike Vecchione]

What is this?

[Mike Lawrence]

I got a good one.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, man.

[Mike Lawrence]

It's when you're on a plane and they. You land and they take off the seat belt sign, it's supposed to filter out just one row. It's naturally one row at a time filtering out. Everybody knows that. And. But there's always usually one person who gets their bags immediately and tries to run for it, and they make it, like, maybe four seats up, and then they're stopped, and then they're confused as to how they're stopped. They're like, what? What do we do? It's. They don't have to catch another flight.

[Mark Normand]

I understand.

[Mike Lawrence]

If you got a connecting flight, all you got to do is like, someone like. But it happens. I mean, I'm not kidding. It's like at least once at le. Every time.

[Mark Normand]

Every time.

[Mike Lawrence]

Every time, there's at least one person who gets their bags and then rushes up and then is perplexed yes. That they only got four rows and they're like, what?

[Mark Normand]

Every time.

[Mike Lawrence]

What do you think is going on here?

[Mark Normand]

I know, I know.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's like.

[Mike Lawrence]

Do you see the natural progression of things? It's like. That's what it is.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, it's also like when you. When you land early, you always end up losing that time taxiing.

[Mark Normand]

That's true.

[Mike Vecchione]

It was like. I. I just.

[Sam Morril]

Especially in LA.

[Mike Vecchione]

40 minutes, you know, we got there 40 minutes early, we still exited the plane on time.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, they always happened to be yesterday, actually. That's true.

[Mike Vecchione]

Do you think there's a quicker way to get out of the plane or. The way they have it is the way that it works in Europe.

[Mark Normand]

They open the back door so you can flood out. Out like that, and it's so much better. Yeah, but they won't do that in America.

[Mike Lawrence]

They won't open the back door.

[Mark Normand]

Back door on the plane.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It's like my last relationship. She wouldn't open the back door, right? No, I.

[Mark Normand]

In Europe, they would.

[Sam Morril]

I got. I got a call from someone I haven't talked to in, like, 12 years, and you're dead.

[Mike Vecchione]

There's Brian Cox. Hello, Samuel.

[Mark Normand]

The character is pathetic.

[Sam Morril]

He left me a message and it was no context, just, hey, Sam, it's Kevin. That's the message. It's been 12 years. I need some context.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, come on.

[Sam Morril]

I need something more than just.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's.

[Sam Morril]

I can see who it is.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah. That's annoying. How about this guy? Hey, man, can I. Can I borrow, like, 60 bucks? How are you? He does the. How are you? In after. After the favor. Favor. Like, to be like, I'm not just asking for money. I'm checking in, too.

[Sam Morril]

How are you? Before is also annoying, though.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. Before.

[Sam Morril]

They're both bad, but.

[Mike Lawrence]

What would you rather have? Just a Venmo request.

[Sam Morril]

Just, hey, can I ask you something? Yeah, just like that. How are you? You don't care how.

[Mike Vecchione]

You can't borrow money. Expecting it back. If you ever lend someone money, you have to accept that it's gone.

[Mark Normand]

I know. That's. That's a bummer. And then if you ask for back, somehow they get mad at you because there was like.

[Mike Vecchione]

I don't know, there was a moment, like, when you're an adult of like, I can never ask for money again. I don't know when it was, but it just felt like because someone would do it to you and you're like, yeah. Oh, that's sad.

[Sam Morril]

I also don't like when they bring up they go, I know I owe you money, by the way. I'm like, yeah, that does nothing for me. You're aware of it. That's great.

[Mike Vecchione]

That's even worse. We have a tax.

[Mark Normand]

Or how about when they owe you 500 bucks or whatever and you're at a bodega and you're like, I'll get the Coke. And they'll go, let me get the Coke. It's a dollar 48.

[Mike Vecchione]

You just go, $498.50.

[Sam Morril]

I got another peeve. Just a simple peeve. Referrals at the doctor's office. I hate referrals. I have to go to the doctor to see another doctor.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's great.

[Sam Morril]

You need to write me a thing so I can see the doctor. I actually, actually need to see. I hate that.

[Mike Lawrence]

But sometimes there's no referral, which is confusing also, which is like, oh, we'll just take care of it. We'll just.

[Sam Morril]

I love it.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

But it's like, I thought I needed a referral. You don't.

[Mike Vecchione]

The difference in quality between the Paw Patrol movies and the Paw Patrol series, you'll know.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Do you have any qualms with the TV showing screen time? You worried about that at all with the kids?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, it's fine. I mean. I mean, you know, Ms. Rachel really triggered my autism. It was hard for me to watch because they do, like, zoom ins of her mouth. It's like very sensory. Like asmr, because she's a speech therapist, so she's like, teaching kids to talk. It is, like, very helpful for kids, but it's also. It was excruciating for me to watch.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Mike Vecchione]

But he loved it. It was his first thing that he watched. And she's. I just did an episode of my podcast all about her because of all the controversies that she's gotten in.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Which aren't even real controversies, but it's.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

The people that go after her.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, really?

[Sam Morril]

What's the name of your pod, Mike?

[Mike Vecchione]

Nerd of mouth. But her whole. Her whole thing was about, like, kids shouldn't die, and that's a hot take. They called her like an agent for Hamas.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Mike Vecchione]

Anti Semitic. And she. Because she did a video with a. A three year old Palestinian amputee.

[Mark Normand]

Ooh, yikes. I'm trying to have a nice Sunday here.

[Mike Vecchione]

Starting to enjoy my matzah.

[Sam Morril]

I don't know who's the agent of Hamas, but I think they work at WME as well. I got a great deal for you.

[Mark Normand]

Boy, she must be loaded. Right. I mean, the amount of views she has.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, now, yeah. I mean, she has. You know, that's how I feel about her controversies. But she. She has, you know, merchandise and all that. Like, toys at Target and Netflix deal.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Good for the smarter Netflix. She.

[Mike Vecchione]

She built it herself in 2019. Like, started the channel, and then, you know, the pandemic was like, there is something. I don't know if you're there yet, but when your kid first starts watching tv, that relief that you have of not having to worry about them the entire time is intoxicating.

[Mark Normand]

I know, I know. That's why you go on these YouTube kids stuff, and it's like 8 trillion views. Because every parent in America just be like, yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

And they put autoplay on. Never ends.

[Mark Normand]

Right, Exactly.

[Mike Lawrence]

What about the pen?

[Mark Normand]

The who?

[Mike Lawrence]

The crib? Isn't the crib. Protect them. I don't have any kids.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Unless you're putting the pen.

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm sorry, not a pen. But the thing is, sometimes there's an Italian baby in there, and he. And intimidates you, and then you hang yourself on the mobile.

[Mark Normand]

How old is Ms. Rachel?

[Mike Vecchione]

I think 42, 43.

[Mark Normand]

She must have wild sex.

[Sam Morril]

Rachel.

[Mike Vecchione]

That's her husband, Mr. Aaron, 42. He's a music director, and they do all the stuff together.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. She's from Maine. How about that?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

All right. Good for her. Her. She's killing it. Yeah. People love her. Yeah. Love her. It's almost like a hex she puts on you.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, because so much stuff made for kids is like garbage, like, designed to be garbage. Like Coco Melon and all of that. It's like very, like, quick cuts.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Things. And her thing is, like, focusing on her and eye contact because she talks.

[Sam Morril]

To them like they're people.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. It's called Parentees. Yeah, that's. That's the language of, like, how you change your voice and everything.

[Mike Lawrence]

Thing like Miss Rachel porn.

[Mike Vecchione]

Jesus.

[Mark Normand]

He pulled up his Rachel board.

[Mike Vecchione]

Did he put my face on instead?

[Mark Normand]

No, no, don't do that. I'll never get a boner again. All right, there we go. We got Rodney's Bar. Oh, yeah. Did. Did I skip a peeve? Did someone say a peeve? Or did someone have one?

[Sam Morril]

I had. I had to refer one, but yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, Yeah, I had another one. Oh, how about this guy? Guy. I'm going to this up. But the guy who goes. He won't just tell you something. He makes you have to say it. You know, be like. Remember that diner we went to last Week. And you go, I don't know. He goes, you remember the diner? Come on. It was the one on 34th. I'm like, well, what about it? He's like, what? You know. You know the diner. And I'm like, just tell me the diner. He has to make he. To pull it out of you. Drives me crazy.

[Mike Vecchione]

That was our friendship. But you were always drunk and I was always sober. So.

[Sam Morril]

You actually did fill in the blanks for us a couple times.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how you did it, because those early years were so hard. Like, I had a day job, I was living out in Crown Heights. I was getting mugged, doing open mics and I had to have a drink. And you stayed staged.

[Sam Morril]

Well, he had his other. He had his soda and his candy.

[Mike Vecchione]

My action figures.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, I. I gave those up when I moved to New York and that I started collecting again when I moved to la. And it is a more addiction because I'll buy one sometimes and it doesn't. You don't feel anything. And that's when you're like, okay, I gotta stop for a while.

[Sam Morril]

Is there one you had your eye on and like a big gig. You're like, I'm getting this one.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

What was that?

[Mike Vecchione]

Galactus.

[Mark Normand]

Pull it up.

[Mike Vecchione]

The Haslab Galactus is. He was like, it's like a $400.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Mike Vecchione]

He's 32 inches. Yes. And he comes with other figures. And it's. Yeah, I have it in my living room.

[Mark Normand]

Wow, that's your tall boy.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Look at that.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

600 bucks.

[Mike Vecchione]

That's on the aftermarket, but, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Can we get you like a used one? Like a car?

[Mike Vecchione]

No, I have one.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, you got one?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, yeah, I got it when it came out.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Oh, you made it.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, that was always great. Was like, you know when I would have a job and it's like, okay, I could get this and this and this. And then, you know when you're not working, you're like, all right, just got to stay lean.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Mike Vecchione]

But there are. But what they used to do is if I. If this is boring, I'll stop. But they have build a figures where you get six figures and each figure has a piece and you put it together so you end up buying shit you don't want just to make a bigger thing.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa. Damn.

[Mike Vecchione]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

That's a metaphor.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

It's so funny.

[Mike Lawrence]

Are you ever doing that in your wife? I'm sorry.

[Mike Vecchione]

Sorry, what are you say.

[Mike Lawrence]

You ever doing that and your wife's like, but could you cut the lawn or redo the deck? Like, you're putting together this complicated action figure.

[Mike Vecchione]

She knows what I am.

[Mike Lawrence]

It's like, we need the bathroom redone. It's like, you could take your action figure skills and redo the bathroom skills, though.

[Mike Vecchione]

Mike, when I got my official autism diagnosis at 38 and told her, she's like, yeah, you think I didn't know?

[Sam Morril]

What? How did you. How did you get diagnosed with it? How did it play out?

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, I took a test, and so you talk to the psychologist for a few hours, then you have to talk to your parents. That's the worst part.

[Mike Lawrence]

With no eye contact.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I can do that.

[Mike Vecchione]

No, now you're self aware, so you have to try to make it. It's way worse. It was so funny, as my dad was like, yeah, I probably had that too. And then my mom was like, I didn't know you weren't supposed to smoke when you were pregnant. And. And then you. It was so funny. I had to go into the psychology office and, you know, the waiting room, and it's just me and a bunch of kids. Because that's when you're supposed to get tested.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

And then you're doing all of these different, you know, cognitive tests and memory tests and things like that.

[Mark Normand]

Was it cool be with a kid? You could compare action figures.

[Mike Vecchione]

Mine were better. No. And then. Yeah, and then I got the. The diagnosis. Yeah. And it was. And. And I remember, like, oh, God, what if my wife thinks different of me? And she's like, yeah, of course I knew. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

But she's like, I've been making excuses for you.

[Sam Morril]

She's like, you're a grown man in a silver surfer shirt.

[Mark Normand]

I knew.

[Sam Morril]

Put it together.

[Mark Normand]

Adina's awesome. She gets it.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, she is awesome. She got it.

[Mark Normand]

She got. And you sound cool on a date. You're like, you know, it's Brad. Pit gig. I made six figures. Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

And I made Brad Pitt. I had to get him to six different Brad Pitt action figures.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. The day. You sound great. Six figures. You're working with Brad Pitt. You're at the Golden Globes. I mean, you're killing it.

[Mike Vecchione]

She'll say that for me because I always feel weird doing it. It's like, you know, Mike worked for. I was like, I didn't ever even talk to him or anything. I just sent jokes and I have.

[Mike Lawrence]

This wine that he sent me.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Is there anyone else you worked with that were like. That was really random like.

[Mike Vecchione]

Like that. Oh, all the time.

[Mark Normand]

You got quite a resume.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, well, you know, when you write, like, for award shows and stuff, it's like you're writing for everybody. Like, you're writing. Everything is written. You have to write the intros, you have to write the outros. You know that guy Max, he often does the patter. But there's, like, patter people where. That's their job. When you see two celebrities on stage just talking, like, there's guys who. They just write that, right? Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Hey, Viola Davis.

[Mark Normand]

You look well.

[Sam Morril]

That's a good line. Thank you.

[Mike Vecchione]

But the monologue, the way that, like, the monologue works, it was, like, funny. With the globes, it's like you get a seating chart and it was funny. So, like, two days before the globes, we are all sitting there because you're helping Nikki with memorizing where everybody is. So we're all. We got footage of this where they would, like, show us. I was Tilda Swinton. She's like, tilda Swinton is here. It's just me going, Right. But we would wave so that she would know, like, when the show's happening. That's where Tilda is. That's where, you know, shalam is. They have to know all that in advance.

[Mark Normand]

That makes sense. Geez.

[Mike Vecchione]

And it's funny, too. The politics of who sits at what table and everything.

[Mike Lawrence]

And when to make the jalapea joke. And then the slap, which you write, I assume, better.

[Mike Vecchione]

I know the guy who wrote that joke.

[Sam Morril]

Someone writing Will Smith is like, I like pretty girls. Like, that's it. No, I'm straight.

[Mike Vecchione]

The only thing I'll say about that joke is like, you know, I've talked to the guy, and it's like he wrote 20. That's the one they picked. And he never, you know, he wasn't thinking, oh, this would, you know. And then Chris Rock picked it, and he didn't think that would happen either.

[Mark Normand]

No one, no nothing.

[Mike Lawrence]

Alopecia.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

G.I. jane. Come on.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Crazy Mike. You were a wrestler.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, it's coming back.

[Mark Normand]

Is it?

[Mike Vecchione]

It replaced after midnight.

[Sam Morril]

Byron Allen is.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. Comics Unleashed. Oh, Comics Unleashed. I just got the email.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, hey.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, it's in the 1235 slot.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Nice, nice. That guy needs more money. He owns the Weather Channel.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. No.

[Mark Normand]

How is that still a channel?

[Sam Morril]

I know. I think we talked about this already.

[Mark Normand]

Seinfeld, Episode two. How is the Weather Channel a channel?

[Mike Vecchione]

Why don't you just go outside? It's partly cloudy.

[Mark Normand]

You.

[Mike Vecchione]

You've met him a few times. Do you Ever have an inkling to do the voice in front of him?

[Mark Normand]

He enjoys it.

[Mike Vecchione]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

He enjoys it. He's, he's very thick skinned. He can really zing him. And he's cool with everything. I mean, you see him with these Palestine hecklers. He's just like, yeah, you, you know, he doesn't get phased at all.

[Sam Morril]

I saw an interview where he was like, he said he liked being made fun of, which is like, it's probably the right attitude.

[Mark Normand]

He did SNL and the whole sketches. What's the deal with coffee tables there? There's no coffee on it, you know, and he's right along with him. Right, right. Which, you know, it's kind of fun.

[Mike Lawrence]

Well, that whole 30 Rock thing was Tina Fey crying?

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Mike Lawrence]

He's like, are you doing these?

[Mark Normand]

I'm crying.

[Mike Vecchione]

Are you doing an impression of me? No, I'm sad.

[Mike Lawrence]

It's hilarious.

[Mark Normand]

Crazy blackface was on NBC. Who was black? She did blackface on the show a couple times.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, he said Kramer blackface was on NBC.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, he did blackface as well on Seinfeld called.

[Sam Morril]

Kramer did. Oh, it's a chicken episode.

[Mark Normand]

No, no, no, different one. That one.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. It was like, it wasn't blackface that we like got. It was tan.

[Mark Normand]

He was dating a black girl and he shows up to the house and the dad got offended.

[Mike Vecchione]

Dude. I, I think he might have been the one who showed me mark. But when he him apologizing on Letterman. Oh, and then, and then Sci Fi going, stop, it's not funny.

[Mark Normand]

Stop laughing. Because we've laughed at the guy for 15 years straight.

[Mike Vecchione]

He used to laugh at. Well, also, the warmup person is like, come on, everybody. He's gotta keep the energy up.

[Sam Morril]

This guy used to send me shirts and they were like kind of, they were like basketball shirts mixed with pop culture, this company. And one of the shirts, they were somewhere really cool. Like he did like a Knicks one, a Death Row records Knicks one. But then he did one he sent me, and it was Kramer in blackface. He's a black guy, so he thinks it's funny. But I was like, I can't wear this fucking shirt. People gonna think I'm a psycho.

[Mike Vecchione]

You have to show them the fork that stuck up your ass.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I forgot about. That was it. That's not it.

[Sam Morril]

That's not, I don't know where it is.

[Mark Normand]

Damn.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, man.

[Mike Vecchione]

I, I, I started around the time that happened. And yeah, and it was interesting, you know, it's like there's that part of me that it's like, it did feel like people were saying he's an amateur. And he had done a lot of standup before.

[Mark Normand]

Right, right.

[Mike Vecchione]

I mean, Michael Richards.

[Mark Normand]

Right, right.

[Mike Lawrence]

But was he. He was a stand up, I think.

[Mark Normand]

In the way of when he stood on stage and did pr.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Like he used to go on Johnny Carson. Just him and just. He had a whole character where he was a bad weightlifter and all the weights would fall off the rack.

[Mike Vecchione]

Right, right.

[Sam Morril]

He was a great physical comedian.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But, yeah, that's. I think they meant amateurs. And like, he didn't really know what a hand handle himself when things would go south.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And he's been, you know, praised for years and years, then all of a sudden he's getting heckled.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Remember him in uhf?

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Stanley.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

You feel when they take that mop.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, yes.

[Mike Vecchione]

Child. He's the villain and problem child that.

[Mark Normand]

Killed me as a kid.

[Sam Morril]

Damn, he's so young.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Look at that. Wow. Hey, there's Weird Al. He's coming to the garden. You see that?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I might go.

[Mike Vecchione]

He was. He was a guy too, right? He was like the stickler on Seinfeld. Right. Like in the outtakes, Richard would be the one who was mad all the time.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he was super.

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm sorry.

[Sam Morril]

We had Larry Charles on.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, we're having on in the future, I guess.

[Sam Morril]

No, we had him on at this point.

[Mike Vecchione]

Okay. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

He said he'd never seen Michael Richards laugh or smile.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Mike Vecchione]

Until that night at the.

[Sam Morril]

It is funny when comedians get described like the biggest sociopath ever. Like, he's never smiled. Once you're in comedy, you don't smile ever. You're surrounded by Jason, Alexander, Seinfeld, Elaine.

[Mike Vecchione]

And knowing where that's coming for Larry Charles of like, you know, writing scripts for him and hoping that he laughs and oh, man, I want this guy to love this thing.

[Mark Normand]

And he was just so dialed in and he just obsessed. If you would. If you would mess up, he'd go, come on, come on. What are you doing?

[Sam Morril]

I think he gave a lot physically to those scenes. So I think it's like when you get annoyed, when you're given so much and it's not working out, you're like, I can't keep summoning this.

[Mark Normand]

There's a scene where the AC falls out the window and he does a thing where he chases it and he breaks a rib. Really? So he was kind of a Buster Keaton. He was like, I'll go all in.

[Mike Lawrence]

He's not a veteran.

[Mark Normand]

Actually.

[Mike Lawrence]

The guy's like a war hero.

[Mark Normand]

I don't know.

[Mike Lawrence]

I mean, I'm. I'm all for what you're saying, but.

[Mike Vecchione]

Don'T worry, the heart is purple. It's not black. It's crazy because like, he. That show, like the Seek, he is a part of the secret sauce, obviously. But like that, that is how you make a show of just protect. Like Jerry was genius of protecting yourself with just the best performers and. Yeah. And the three of the, you know, you know, George, Elaine and Kramer are completely different.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. But they're all, you know, that you have physically because there were so many Seinfeld clones, but they didn't have the physical comedian or.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, but before that, it was all family. Everybody was trying to do Cosby. Yeah, everybody was trying to do family comedies because it's like, we need to sell.

[Sam Morril]

We need.

[Mike Lawrence]

Family comedies are what's hot. And then that came in and it was like, you know, obviously we know the story. It's like they and the guy at NBC believed in it or else it wouldn't have got that kind of a run.

[Sam Morril]

They were trying to do Cosby. He was trying to do that.

[Mark Normand]

Them.

[Mike Vecchione]

And it didn't get a proper 22 episodes to the third season.

[Mark Normand]

Right. Yeah, yeah. They had a time. Time move that helped them. They were after Cheers at some point. That helped the ratings. But you did have Taxi and Mary. Mary Tyler Moore.

[Sam Morril]

Taxi's so good.

[Mark Normand]

Taxi's good. That's not good stuff.

[Mike Vecchione]

Barney Miller.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

But I felt like after Cosby, everybody. I was really trying to force the family TGIF 100.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. They go with what works. That's the same.

[Mike Lawrence]

Right, right, right.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. Right.

[Mike Lawrence]

You know, and for something new to break, somebody has to take a risk.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, probably. Why Married with Children work. It was like the anti Cosby.

[Mike Vecchione]

It was called. Not the Cosby's.

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Look at that. Wow, that's crazy.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, it's crazy because, like, yeah, Seinfeld would not exist now. They would not. You know that it has a name change of the Seinfeld Chronicles. And then, you know, Elaine's not even in the first episode. True that they would.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

But the five, you know, episodes of a first season, they would just cancel it after that.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, 100.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. It was in the summer. Right. I think they just.

[Mike Lawrence]

But then it would get reborn on tubi.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Well, there you go. And see. See Mike on to be. No, you got a special out there.

[Mike Vecchione]

I had Comedy Central years ago.

[Sam Morril]

Well, check out Mike's podcast. Nerd of Math. And watch Mike Vecchione's new special on YouTube, Low Income White. Low Income White. On Nateland Entertainment, two of our faves.

[Mark Normand]

Clean as a whistle. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Look at you.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. You look rugged and hunky.

[Sam Morril]

Look at that.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Good nights, Tempe, Des Moines, Hartford, and the Zany's lab.

[Sam Morril]

Nice.

[Mike Lawrence]

Mikevecchione.com for dates, please follow me. Comic Mike V. Oh, yeah, definitely.

[Sam Morril]

Check that out. Mike V is. Is terrific.

[Mark Normand]

One of the best.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Thank you, guys.

[Mark Normand]

What's the next?

[Mike Vecchione]

First saw you at Ochi's lounge and comics and I was like, that's a comedian.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Thank you, buddy.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Remember, we get a. We get a nugget every now and then. You're like, oh, Hannibal's coming. Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

This is crazy. My lady is gracing us with this present.

[Mark Normand]

One time Marin came down, he was like, look at all you said. We loved it.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, God.

[Sam Morril]

I'll be it. I'll be at. When does this come out? Irvine Improv. And then we got Oklahoma City. Then we got the Venetian in Vegas, Rochester, the 22nd, the 25th. 25th through the 27th in Rochester, New York. Chicago Theater, Winnipeg. A big Euro tour in October. It should be up by now.

[Mike Vecchione]

You're one of those dads that far hearts on their kid.

[Sam Morril]

But he has.

[Mike Vecchione]

You're just.

[Sam Morril]

His first words was please, no, you're.

[Mike Vecchione]

Just going to raise you.

[Sam Morril]

I'll be in Barcelona, London, Paris, Amsterdam. All over. I'm forgetting a bunch of Dublin. I'm all over. It's on my website. I'm coming out to your place in Europe. Then we got Salt Lake City and the biggie at Carnegie Hall. December 4th. Oh, Reno as well. I forgot. But yeah. December 4th, New York, New York.

[Mike Vecchione]

And he will not be writing on a TV show. And we'll have plenty of free time.

[Mark Normand]

Hey, I'm in the Hamptons and Calgary with Adam Ray. Las Vegas, Dallas, hello. And then good old Akron, Ohio, Dayton. Then we're going to Halifax. I've never been there. I'm pretty excited. Ottawa, Huntsville, Hattiesburg, San Jose, Boulder. We added a show. And then we're off to Europe. Athens, Oslo, Stockholm, Helsinki, Dublin. Then back to some casino and valley center. Off to Magoobies. Rochester, D.C. chocolate City, Rochester, Niagara Falls, San Diego. Come on out, say hello, get some.

[Sam Morril]

Bodega cat, bodegat whiskey.com and just, just DM the bodega cat. Whiskey account, Instagram. Matt, our boy will. Will get it in your liquor store. I me stumbling in the beauty bar drunk. Might have gotten us in a beauty bar in New York. So that's how it happens. Two guys, like, why don't they serve bodega cat here? And I go, why don't, you know, ask the owner right there? And they did. And he goes, you have a whiskey? I think. I think we're in.

[Mark Normand]

We gotta keep you drinking just for business.

[Sam Morril]

Okay. I'll keep stumbling in, dude.

[Mark Normand]

Hell, yeah. The stumble in.

[Sam Morril]

We should stumble in.

[Mike Vecchione]

You know, smoothly.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Well, folks. Yeah. Check out the special. Hire Mike to write for you if you're Brad Pitt level. Are you doing the ESPYs?

[Mike Vecchione]

No, no. Something about the way I look in sports. They just didn't put the two together.

[Sam Morril]

All right. You guys are the best. Yeah, this the fun one. And we'll see you guys next week.

[Mark Normand]

Sunday's a.

[Mike Vecchione]

A bit of piva wreck.

[Mark Normand]

You know, the beer juice.

[Mike Vecchione]

Close. I've had a little too much burping.

[Mark Normand]

And Norman's talking shit about the fucking poke. And I get down in the same.

[Mike Vecchione]

Way up on the roof like the cops coming and naked Samuel is feeling dangerous. I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans this woman and doesn't look like.

[Mark Normand]

I remember her and I get down.

[Mike Vecchione]

In the same way.

[Mark Normand]

We might be true.