Ep 252: Matt McCusker

Summary

We Might Be Drunk – Ep 252: Matt McCusker (October 6, 2025)

Guests: Matt McCusker
Hosts: Sam Morril and Mark Normand
Producer: Gotham Production Studios, LLC

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Episode Overview

This episode of We Might Be Drunk features comedian Matt McCusker as he sits down with Sam Morril and Mark Normand (the hosts), sharing drinks and stories from the road. The conversation revolves around taping comedy specials, the highs and lows of touring, the evolving landscape of comedy production and distribution, and, as always, meandering tangents about pop culture, parenting, and their signature brand of irreverence.

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Main Themes

• Behind-the-scenes of taping a comedy special
• Comedy in college towns and the Boulder experience
• Current comedy distribution: self-producing, Netflix, Hulu, YouTube
• The grind of writing new material and bombing
• The state of live performance (arena gigs, city club sets)
• Parenting, domestic anecdotes, and dog stories
• Irreverent pop culture commentaries, peeves, and recommendations (recurring segments)

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Taping a Standup Special & The Boulder Comedy Scene

[00:12–03:01]

• Matt shares the process and emotional rollercoaster of taping his special in Boulder, Colorado.
  • The relief of “being in the magical in-between: taped but not released.”
  • Boulder exceeded his expectations as a crowd and city:
    • “I thought it was gonna be armpit hair and crunchy with dirty feet. It is hot moms with L.L. Bean on and little quarter zip ups.” (Matt, 02:23)
  • Anticipation and nerves, especially about non-sold-out shows and the Late Show crowd: “I had a couple riff things... but they were a little tepid.” (Matt, 03:11)
  • “As long as I'm over 50 [minutes], I'm happy.” – Matt on special length (03:46)
  • Mentions the business side: self-producing and planning to shop the special, referencing changes at streaming platforms ("Hulu blew their wad... numbers were below Netflix" – 08:37).

2. Comedy Industry State & The Streaming Landscape

[03:53–09:12]

• All discuss how specials are shopped and sold in the current climate.
  • Three tapings is the new norm, though “two is fine at this point” (Freddy, 04:17).
  • Platforms like Hulu and Netflix, with Hulu seen as “the hot, fat chick” compared to Netflix’s “hot girl at the bar.” (08:34)
  • “You always got YouTube as an option, too... it could blow up.” (Freddy, 08:49)

3. Comedy Process, Bombing, and Generating Material

[04:47–05:35, 23:45–26:49]

• "After taping, you go right back to bomb city writing new stuff... How did I write an hour?" (Matt, 05:03)
• The constant process of bombing with new ideas, even as established comics, rings true for all.
• Samuel Elliott (guest) shares his method for building new hours by running special new-material shows: “You start to cobble together, like, at least something.” (Samuel, 23:47)

4. Touring, Competition, and Comedy Routing

[06:32–07:21, 27:45–30:27]

• “Moving a gig can help you—get a little more time to sell," but it’s logistically annoying (Matt, 07:25).
• The impact of competing events/comics: “Theo Vaughn, Tony Hinchcliffe, Soder, and Burt all taping/performing the same night” (Freddy, 07:43).
• Life on the road: “It would be nice to have a scaled back version. If you could just do like 12 cities, that’d be nice.” (Samuel, 22:48)
• Arena gigs are discussed as exhilarating but surreal experiences: “In the round, for some reason, I don’t know why, feels easier.” (Samuel, 28:10)

5. Pop Culture, Movie Recommendations, and 4D Cinema

[09:29–14:00]

• All highly recommend the movie One Battle After Another (“See it in theaters…a real movie, not just Avengers 12.” – Matt, 10:21).
• Discuss the drop in box office for non-Marvel movies and the need for “word of mouth” for such films.
• Funny tangents about Sean Penn’s activism and random trivia:
  • “He also went to New Orleans on a canoe with a shotgun during Katrina.” (Matt, 11:45)
  • “He did an interview with El Chapo that ended up getting El Chapo found and arrested.” (Guest, 12:29)
  • “Garcia Shandling and Joan Rivers shooting the shit… intros are cool.” (Samuel, 18:10)

6. Animation, Writing, and Expanding Creative Outlets

[18:55–22:41]

• Samuel shares his foray into animation: “Animation takes forever… By the end, you’re just kind of like, dude, I don’t even like this anymore.”
• The origin of Rick and Morty is discussed (the crude original short that nonetheless sold the show).

7. Parenting, Domestic Battles, and Dog Tales

[36:46–55:21]

• Long back-and-forths about being married to a “stickler,” bombed trips to get a license, and dealing with bureaucracy.
• Parenting anecdotes: “The amount of batteries you buy with a kid, it’s crazy.” (Matt, 46:53)
• Dog stories:
  • Getting denied petting a dog in a grocery store was a top “peeve” (Samuel, 51:13).
  • The tale of Matt’s family putting down a dangerous junkyard dog (Samuel, 54:48)
  • The surprising link between O.J. Simpson and Akita guard dog behavior (52:28)

8. Irreverent Tangents & Notable Quotes

Infamous Web Oddities

• The group reminisces about “Lemon Party” (an infamous internet shock meme): “So you would…open it up and it’d be a bunch of old men blowing each other.” (Samuel, 44:41)

Comedy Special Intros

• “I like an intro...Did a drone shot of me running. I like an intro too.” (Matt, 19:20)

Micro-dosing & Sleep Hacks (Recommendations)

• Samuel highly recommends the ChiliPad for sleeping: “My side of the bed is just like, a frigid, freezing area the whole time I’m sleeping.” (Samuel, 56:07)
• He also shouts out low-THC weed drinks for barbecue hangs and the obscure British folk singer John Martyn: “If you want something new to listen to…he keeps surprising me with new songs.” (Samuel, 59:59)
• Sam recommends the audiobook Educated by Tara Westover for a compelling memoir (“it’s just really well written, very compelling” – Freddy, 61:12).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Boulder as an audience:
  “I thought it was gonna be armpit hair and crunchy with dirty feet. It is hot moms with L.L. Bean on and little quarter zip ups.”
  – Matt McCusker (02:23)

• On writing post-special:
  “After you’ve done it, you don’t even feel like a real comic. Like, I’m a fucking hack. I know this works, you know?”
  – Freddy (04:30)

• On spouses and sticklers:
  “My wife’s a stickler…she’ll be like, do you have your driver’s license? No, but I don’t need it.”
  – Samuel Elliott (37:44)

• On being denied petting a dog:
  “If I ask somebody to pet the dog and they’re like, no, that’s crazy, dude.”
  – Samuel Elliott (51:13)

• On Netflix and streaming wars: “Hulu blew their wad booking all those guys…now Netflix feels even better.”
  – Matt McCusker (08:37)

• On bombing in arenas:
  “In a club, you’re pretty, like, you can literally feel laughs. Not in an arena. You’re just, like, drowning.”
  – Samuel Elliott (29:51)

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Timestamps for Segments

• Boulder Special Recap & Taping: 00:12–03:40
• Comedy Market/Streaming Talk: 03:53–09:12
• Movie Recommendations & 4D Cinema: 09:29–14:00
• Comedy Process, Bombing, Writing Hours: 23:45–26:49
• Parenting and Domestic Life: 36:46–46:53
• Peeves & Recommendations: 47:00–61:17

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Recommendations (Wrecks)

• Movie: One Battle After Another (All, 09:29)
• Sleep Tech: Chili Pad (Samuel, 56:02)
• Weed Drinks: Low-THC seltzers (Samuel, 57:13)
• Music: John Martyn, especially “Solid Air” (Samuel, 59:59)
• Book/Audiobook: Educated by Tara Westover (Freddy, 60:36)

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Peeves

• Sticklers and rule-enforcers (Samuel, 37:34)
• Indoor lighting and blue light (Samuel, 48:39)
• Scented wall plugins (“Febreze”) and artificial smells (Samuel, 50:16)
• People refusing to let you pet their dogs (Samuel, 51:10)
• Overacting in shower sex scenes (Guest, 66:17)
• People who double down on questions/negate your experience (“You don’t have any cash?”) (Matt, 62:05)
• The guy at the tennis court who won’t answer where the sign-up sheet is (Matt, 62:40)

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Stand-Out Moments

• Hilarious riffing about Lemon Party and old-school internet pranks (44:13)
• The lengths comedians go to in crafting a special, including editing out head wounds with CGI (Samuel, 16:39)
• Sincere appreciation for the “intro” format in specials—nostalgia, storytelling (18:10)
• Dan Harmon and Rick and Morty’s crude origins as evidence that major creative hits can start weird and rough (20:35)
• Comedy industry inside baseball: negotiating taping dates, fighting for market share, dealing with streaming algorithm anxiety (06:32–07:43; 08:25)

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Closing Thoughts

As always, We Might Be Drunk delivers a blend of insider comedy chatter, pop culture tangents, and equal parts self-deprecation and swagger. Matt McCusker’s tales of taping, road hackery, and parenting provide a relatable and often hilarious look at life in and off the spotlight. The episode is rich with the hosts’ signature bits—peeves, wrecks, back-and-forths about the grind—and is punctuated by moments of real camaraderie and industry wisdom.

For upcoming tours and Matt’s special, check out MattMcCusker.com and catch Samuel Elliott’s Netflix special, "Humble Offering," dropping October 7th.

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Selected by and for comedy fans, industry nerds, and anyone who’s ever debated the merits of blue-light blockers or self-serve salsa bars. Cheers until next week!

Transcript

[Matt McCusker]

Hey, hey. Here we are. We're here. We're queer. We're back, baby.

[Freddy]

How you been?

[Matt McCusker]

Good, good. I taped a special that's. I got that magical moment where it's in the can, but it's not out yet.

[Freddy]

Boulder, the magical untapped comedy market, huh?

[Matt McCusker]

Untapped, uncut gem. It's like my penis. It's incredible. Knob. Cut.

[Freddy]

Okay, good.

[Matt McCusker]

Come on.

[Freddy]

Not doing a pod with a.

[Matt McCusker]

You don't like an anteater?

[Freddy]

It's all right.

[Matt McCusker]

I cut my sons.

[Samuel Elliott]

Did you?

[Matt McCusker]

Did it myself.

[Freddy]

You nibbled it. Yeah, a little bite.

[Matt McCusker]

Ah, Safety scissor.

[Freddy]

Put a little wine on, then you take a bite. They do that for the alcohol on the wean right after they do it.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, really?

[Freddy]

What a weird. Remember Geraldo had that bed? He goes, I got invited to a bris. You know, the circumcision. What do you wear to that? I just wore a tie with the ENS in the back.

[Matt McCusker]

That's so good. Great.

[Freddy]

Little topical.

[Matt McCusker]

Great.

[Freddy]

Not topical, one liner. You know, bris joke.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

They suck the blood off the tip.

[Matt McCusker]

With the herpes, then they don't try.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

And get herpes, but if they have herpes, they will pass them on to the kids.

[Matt McCusker]

I've heard that.

[Freddy]

Yeah. And then they shoot a load of the baby dick all over their face. Hot start. Anyway, so did you know on Friday, like, you texted me and you were like, I. I think I got it Friday pretty much. Right. Oh, good pick.

[Matt McCusker]

Ironically, don't cut that. All right. Yeah, yeah. We. Friday was one show, and it was, like, 85% sold. So I was like, this will probably be the battle. There's always one clunker, but there's.

[Freddy]

You know, you have. You have kills for the camera anyway, right?

[Matt McCusker]

That's true, that's true. But it just gets in your head, like, this one isn't sold out, but it looked good. And that one was hot. And I was like, hey, that feels good. And then we went to bed. Me and him hiked a mountain. In the morning, we got breakfast, got some sunshine, some vitamin D. Saturday, early show, lights out. White hot. Couldn't be better. Great crowd.

[Freddy]

The only unbelievable part of this is that Salicy's hiked. I believe this. Crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. It was weird. I got photos of it. He's in jeans. He's holding a camera over his shoulder. That's like.

[Freddy]

That's like when you see the coyote.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

The day you're taping a special, you're.

[Matt McCusker]

Like, I looked it up after. I was like, are there Mountain lions. And they were like, oh, yeah, really big. Boulder.

[Freddy]

Boulder, right.

[Matt McCusker]

No, it's a California thing. Some cougars there, I'll tell you that.

[Freddy]

Were there.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, my God. Boulder, baby. I mean, I thought it was gonna be armpit hair and crunchy with dirty feet. It is. Hot moms with L.L. bean on and little quarter zip ups.

[Freddy]

It's a college town, too. Yes, college towns. Great comedies, great comments.

[Matt McCusker]

That's true. That's true. And everybody warned me. It's all queefy over there. You're gonna bomb. They're gonna be offended. They couldn't have been cooler. They were great.

[Freddy]

I really warn you about Boulder. I would think Boulder would be good.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, they just said it's a college town. It's very progressive and they're. They're gonna yell at you and, you know, throw paint on you. But it was fine. It was great. Great crowds. And then Saturday late show is a little tired.

[Freddy]

Yeah. But other than that, you had at that point. Yeah, between Friday early and Saturday earlier, like, I'm good.

[Matt McCusker]

100%.

[Freddy]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Then it was like, around. Riff crowd work, whatever.

[Freddy]

You get any magic moments on the Late Show?

[Matt McCusker]

I had a couple riff things. I think people kind of clammed up because they were like, it's a taping. So I was trying to egg them on and fuck with them, but they were. They were a little tepid.

[Freddy]

I wonder if it helps that it feels like every show is taped now.

[Matt McCusker]

That's true.

[Freddy]

It almost made sure.

[Matt McCusker]

But.

[Freddy]

Yeah, but you don't want to be. You don't be the person who gets dunked on in like a Netflix special.

[Matt McCusker]

Right.

[Freddy]

Longer.

[Matt McCusker]

Exactly. Yeah. I was waiting to dunk on somebody.

[Freddy]

I was ready if something good, but. Yeah, but you, like, how long do you think it's gonna clock in at?

[Matt McCusker]

I'm gonna say 53.

[Freddy]

That's a good time.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. As long as I'm over 50, I'm happy.

[Freddy]

Yeah. I think that's the number.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. So self produced, too.

[Freddy]

And. And you're gonna sell it, right?

[Matt McCusker]

That's right. That's the plan.

[Freddy]

That's the move.

[Matt McCusker]

Hopefully we'll see the market has changed. I think Hulu threw that big wad of jizz out there and nobody.

[Freddy]

Oh, that's a good pick.

[Matt McCusker]

That's all Sally. But the amount I'm in my head in that moment is unbelievable. Yeah. You know. You know that feeling like we're taping tonight. Gotta get me three.

[Freddy]

Doesn't it help that, you know, you got three?

[Matt McCusker]

Three is big.

[Freddy]

Three is almost like I Feel like two is fine at this point.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

I've always overdone it. I've always. I did four last time and I was like, what am I doing by the fourth? You're like, am I just punishing myself? I'm just like, I'm just putting off the celebration.

[Matt McCusker]

Right.

[Freddy]

But then even at the celebration, you don't feel good. Because if you're a comma. Because you're just like, I got to write another one of these. I know it's hard to do, like, you did it. I'm like, I know, but the next ones. Yeah, the easy part, when you're killing towards the end of tape in an hour, you. You don't even feel like a real comedy. Like, I'm a fucking hack. I know this works, you know?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, but you got to get it down.

[Freddy]

You got to get it down. But you're like, you don't feel good, right? Like, it should hit. And then if one line that always hits, stops hitting. You're like, that fucking line used to hit.

[Matt McCusker]

Of course. Well, I did three sets last night of like, hey, I'm back out there. I need to work on new stuff. Bomb city.

[Freddy]

Well, yeah, as you should.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, but it sucks. It sucks. You're like, how did I write an hour? How do I do that? I just threw this shit on the table.

[Freddy]

You need something bad to happen. Something bad will happen. And then you're like, that's. There's a joke. All right, to be bad, it has to be like something. Something, you know, interesting.

[Matt McCusker]

Sure, sure. All right, well. Yeah. Well, we got it. And Boulder. I highly recommend Boulder as a college town. As a regular town. It's pretty. How far from Denver? 45 minutes.

[Freddy]

Weird.

[Matt McCusker]

So you land and get on a bus.

[Freddy]

I was gonna say, did they have a comedy club? But why would they if Denver?

[Matt McCusker]

I know they had a little comedy room in our hotel, actually, but.

[Freddy]

Really?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it was like in the basement. They had a little room they do stuff in. And we got back from Saturday night, I'm drunk and. What's that guy's name? Ah, what was that guy with the long hair? Who? Oh, he was a comic. He was hanging out. Oh, I don't know. Oh, he's super funny. Long hair, Denver One liner guys. Kind of like the new Hedberg. Oh, give that a goo. I gotta give this guy a shout out because he's really funny.

[Freddy]

Well, what's the Google? Denver One line.

[Matt McCusker]

Denver One liner, long hair, comedy.

[Freddy]

Who opened the shows?

[Matt McCusker]

Caleb Simon.

[Freddy]

Oh, yeah, he's good.

[Matt McCusker]

Kill that Guy is ice in his veins.

[Freddy]

Yeah. I like that guy.

[Matt McCusker]

So funny. The whole is one of those things where the crew is like, who is this guy? This guy's great.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

How big the venue?

[Matt McCusker]

I'll think of it. I think it was about 950.

[Freddy]

It's great. Every. This all sounds perfect.

[Matt McCusker]

It was perfect. It all locked in. So I had a gig the night before in San Jose because Shane Gillis and I had the same gig night in San Jose, so I moved mine because he's Shane, and it worked out. So I was supposed to do San Jose in July. They moved it to the night before the taping. Best thing ever. It all came into place.

[Freddy]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Stars alive.

[Freddy]

Moving to gig.

[Matt McCusker]

I hate it too.

[Freddy]

Some panic that I might. My agent was like, you might want to move Chicago theater because even if it sells out, you. You would have to compete with the Cubs in the playoffs. And they're like, fuck, I do have a dude audience.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

To think about that shit.

[Matt McCusker]

That's true.

[Freddy]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

But it's coming up, right?

[Freddy]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Oh, that's.

[Freddy]

By the time this comes out, I guess it's this Saturday, so I guess it'll be.

[Matt McCusker]

We'll see.

[Freddy]

It'll be in the. Yeah, we'll see. If I moved it.

[Samuel Elliott]

Sorry?

[Freddy]

If I moved it, guys. I don't want to.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

Probably gonna tough it out.

[Matt McCusker]

Sometimes it helps to move it because then you get a little more time to sell.

[Freddy]

Yeah. But it's just fucking annoying. I have it routed with Winnipeg. It's just everything was kind of there for a reason.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

The routing mark had Burt going up against him at Red Rocks, which is just 25 minutes away.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

And Soder was there too.

[Freddy]

Yeah, and Soder was there.

[Matt McCusker]

And Soder was at the club, I think.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

And Tony Hinchcliffe was shooting his special the same day, and Theo Vaughn in a different city. And Theo Vaughn was shooting his.

[Freddy]

Doesn't hurt.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

You know, I'm just saying, like, a lot was going on that weekend.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Theo had his thing in Milwaukee.

[Freddy]

Had a baseball. Just brings up everything.

[Matt McCusker]

The marathon was going on, but you.

[Freddy]

Feel like you got it.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I feel really good about it, especially after seeing the Theo reports. But. And I talked.

[Freddy]

Hopefully he's okay.

[Matt McCusker]

He's. He's fine. He's fine.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

And he's a funny guy and he'll figure it out, but. Yeah. You want to go. Hey, Netflix. This one went pretty well. Just saying.

[Freddy]

Better by yours, man. I think they will see.

[Matt McCusker]

We'll see.

[Freddy]

Well, if not there I mean, dude, you got options.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, well, I think that.

[Freddy]

Fucking options. Dude, don't get hung up on the one hot girl at the bar. There's other.

[Matt McCusker]

I got, like, a fat chick.

[Freddy]

Yeah, Hulu. Hulu's a hot, fat chick.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, but I think Hulu blew their wad booking. All those guys and the numbers. I think we're below Netflix, and Netflix is like, oh, we. We feel even better now, ironically. Yeah. So.

[Freddy]

Yeah, well, you always got YouTube as an option, too.

[Matt McCusker]

That's true.

[Freddy]

And, like, it could blow up.

[Matt McCusker]

YouTube's the old. You don't bring. What do you. You don't diss the girl you brought to the dance or whatever. Yeah, whatever that thing is Netflix stock.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

It's like, whoa, $1,193.

[Matt McCusker]

Jesus.

[Samuel Elliott]

Per share.

[Freddy]

Yeah. Is that. Is that really good?

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

That's really good considering, like, two years ago it was, like, 200.

[Matt McCusker]

But it's also way down, it looks like. That's because that Black Rabbit show stinks.

[Freddy]

Is it bad?

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, the dialogue is horrible. I like Bateman.

[Freddy]

Yeah, he's good.

[Matt McCusker]

But I. I can. I don't get it.

[Freddy]

I'm non wreck.

[Matt McCusker]

That's a non wreck, baby.

[Freddy]

I got a wreck for you.

[Matt McCusker]

Please.

[Freddy]

I think it's. You think you're gonna have the same wreck?

[Matt McCusker]

The movie.

[Freddy]

The movie. One battle after another. See it in theaters. Dude, I saw it, and I saw it in IMAX in Rochester. It's one of those sad things where you're like, my shows are sold out, and I went to, like, an 11am IMAX of this. Do, like, 15 people in there.

[Matt McCusker]

Ah.

[Freddy]

Like, this is a good movie.

[Matt McCusker]

I know, I know. And IMAX.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

We signed 4D.

[Matt McCusker]

Ooh.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. What's up, dude?

[Matt McCusker]

Hey.

[Freddy]

No, it's all good.

[Matt McCusker]

Good to see you.

[Freddy]

We're talking about. Have you seen One Battle After Another?

[Samuel Elliott]

No.

[Freddy]

The new movie. It's good.

[Samuel Elliott]

Is that what everyone's talking about right now?

[Matt McCusker]

Good.

[Samuel Elliott]

Thank you, guys.

[Freddy]

It's a good one.

[Matt McCusker]

You gotta be a BL if you need one as well.

[Samuel Elliott]

Thank you.

[Matt McCusker]

Hey, your wife looks different. It's a white woman.

[Freddy]

Oh, nice.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, go see it. It's incredible. It's a. It's good to see a real movie in the theaters, not just Avengers 12.

[Freddy]

But you know what's depressing is that they're like, this is a non Marvel movie. And it's. It's got, you know, a real script and a real director, and they're like, how to do the box office 20 million.

[Matt McCusker]

Is that right?

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

Then I Mean, globally, it did a little better, but it's not like a huge. It was number one, but it's not like a huge hit.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, yeah, that happens, man.

[Matt McCusker]

Give it a week. Let's give a little time.

[Freddy]

I think it's a one of those word of mouth movies, though, because it's probably going to get some Oscar nominations.

[Matt McCusker]

Definitely.

[Samuel Elliott]

Are people. Is this causing any sort of, like, uproar? Are people, like, conflicting in opinions about this?

[Freddy]

No, I think people like it. It's just about, you know, it's 2 hours and 42 minutes, so people are kind of like, I don't know. And also. But it's like non stop action, dude. It's pretty crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

It really.

[Freddy]

It's really good. It's just really a good movie. Yeah, it's just really cool.

[Matt McCusker]

And they do the right and the left kind of. They're both extremes. Like, he's like a revolutionary. Then they show the right and they won't allow interracial marriage and all this. So it's.

[Freddy]

Well that if that's the right, then we're in trouble. There's like, these guys. There's like a secret club of, like, underground people. We don't give it, but they're like, insanely racist. But it's funny. It's like, over the top. Yeah, it is a funny movie. Sean Penn is unreal.

[Matt McCusker]

He's gonna win the Oscar.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. That's awesome. I didn't even hear. I never heard about this.

[Freddy]

That's another. That's another Oscar he can melt down and give to the Ukrainians to what he did. That's what he did with his other one.

[Samuel Elliott]

Did he really?

[Freddy]

That's what they said. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

He also went to New Orleans on a canoe with a shotgun during Katrina.

[Samuel Elliott]

What was his plan there?

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know. I think he was like, I'm gonna shoot some. Some kids or something. Everybody made fun of. We were all New Orleans on the roof, crazy crying, and we're like, get out of here, Pen. What are you doing?

[Samuel Elliott]

That's CRO. I guess he could rescue like, three people.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I guess so. There. There he goes. He's helping an old black guy.

[Samuel Elliott]

There you go.

[Matt McCusker]

That's nice.

[Samuel Elliott]

You probably need a shotgun to navigate, like, for like, animals and stuff. You know what I mean?

[Matt McCusker]

I guess that's what you want to call them, but good Lord, man.

[Freddy]

We got in here, you don't even need a plane. Just go down there, you take a few pictures, and people like, he's a good guy.

[Matt McCusker]

That's true.

[Freddy]

You don't need.

[Matt McCusker]

Didn't he with the cartel, too? Didn't he go down in the tunnels with the.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

He did an interview with El Chapo that ended up getting El Chapo found and arrested.

[Freddy]

I think he went to Venezuela, too, and was kicking it with Hugo Chavez.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, man.

[Freddy]

Yeah, he's done a lot of. He's done a lot of weird.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Wow. And he couldn't keep that girl. What's her name?

[Freddy]

Robin Wright.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

Hot lady.

[Matt McCusker]

That's how hard women are. You can make a deal with El Chapo, but your wife, she's like, I don't know what she wants.

[Freddy]

But this doesn't seem like easy crazy guy, like, hey, we're gonna see a movie. No, I'm going to the Ukraine again. I'm gonna.

[Matt McCusker]

That's true.

[Samuel Elliott]

He's just smelting an Oscar to. Yeah. I wonder if anyone got killed by an Oscar bullet.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, good question. Yeah, I wonder.

[Freddy]

They gotta get nominated for I Am Sam. More ammo. Jesus.

[Matt McCusker]

Don't go full retard.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, well, maybe he has to. To keep getting more Oscars to support the war effort.

[Freddy]

That's the next step.

[Matt McCusker]

You gotta double down.

[Freddy]

But it's high rack. You. You loved it too, right?

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Yeah, it's amazing.

[Freddy]

Benicio del Toro. Funny as too. I highly recommend.

[Matt McCusker]

Really good movie. Just. We won't give away too something 4D. Have you done this yet?

[Samuel Elliott]

No. Where you get, like, your legs tickled and stuff.

[Matt McCusker]

They spill water on you. They jizz on your face. Like the. The seats go up and down with the road and everything. So when you start the car, it goes like. Oh, it's so cool.

[Samuel Elliott]

How'd you like it?

[Matt McCusker]

I loved it. I thought it was gonna be a dumb gimmick, but it was added a lot.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's awesome.

[Freddy]

So damn.

[Matt McCusker]

Highly recommend.

[Freddy]

So I saw the movie Spotlight like that and. Bad idea.

[Matt McCusker]

I saw Station. All right, okay.

[Freddy]

Well, yeah, I saw.

[Samuel Elliott]

I saw moonlight in 4D.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, really?

[Samuel Elliott]

Cranked me during the scene. They crank you off?

[Matt McCusker]

Sickle Cell. He went all in.

[Freddy]

So when's the special come out?

[Samuel Elliott]

October 7th.

[Matt McCusker]

Hey. Mazel tov.

[Samuel Elliott]

Thank you, man.

[Freddy]

On Netflix?

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

Hell, yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. Coming out October 7th. A humble offering. So, yeah, it's.

[Matt McCusker]

You wrote that quick.

[Samuel Elliott]

I. Dude, I. You know what?

[Matt McCusker]

When was the YouTube.

[Samuel Elliott]

The YouTube was. I. I, like, lose track of it now, but I feel like. I. I say it was two years. I feel like. All right, YouTube came out two years ago, and then I kind of just hit the road right away with like, kind of nothing, honestly. It was kind of criminal, but the kind of figured it out. And then by, you know, the YouTube was just like all my old stuff that I just wanted to get rid of, so there wasn't really a rhyme or reason to it. And then this was the first time I got to actually, like, like, oh, you need like a. A cohesive hour kind of.

[Matt McCusker]

Uhhuh.

[Samuel Elliott]

And this kind of put it together. And then, you know, I was done with it.

[Matt McCusker]

Congrats, man.

[Freddy]

Thanks, man.

[Matt McCusker]

That's big.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. You know, I. I'll be curious to see. Everyone's saying that, and I'm like, well, we'll see. You know, it could fade into the ether, but as long as you get.

[Matt McCusker]

That top 10, I think.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, that's the big.

[Freddy]

I feel like they're making less specials though, too. I think it's like a. It's a good time to be.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, well, supposed to come out in January and they bumped it up, so I was like, that's cool.

[Matt McCusker]

That's a good sign.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, that was. I was like, that's. That's promising. But it's good.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Who shot that for you?

[Samuel Elliott]

Tyler Falbo.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

It's fantastic looking.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, he did a fantastic job and ever. Yeah, they did an awesome job.

[Freddy]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Where'd you tape it?

[Samuel Elliott]

The Ontario Improv.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, interesting.

[Samuel Elliott]

A lot of people trying to talk me out of that.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

They were like, are you sure you.

[Freddy]

Want to do it there?

[Samuel Elliott]

And I was like, yeah, I'm positive.

[Freddy]

It's big, right?

[Samuel Elliott]

It's. It's like 503 now. It's like 350 maybe.

[Matt McCusker]

Really?

[Samuel Elliott]

But it's like a. It's the old improv kind of thing. So it looks like it's not like the big cavernous improv. It's like an old club. It was. It was. And they really church it up. They did a good job.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it looks really.

[Samuel Elliott]

Set design killed it.

[Matt McCusker]

Hell, yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, man. It's. You know, it's done.

[Matt McCusker]

So how'd you like that editing process, huh?

[Samuel Elliott]

Dude, it's. I actually saw what you're seeing there too. I. I cracked my head day. The first day filming. What a lot. I did a. Outlet, like a very long and drawn out intro. That's all my pov. And I didn't even, like. It was a. You know, get like a camera guy who's like my body double doing it. I. There was one scene I was like, dude, let me just do this one scene. They were like, dude. Tyler was like, I never let actors work because, like, you have to know how to use the gear.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

And I was like, I was in bed with my wife, and I'm like, bro, I don't want, like, body double. Like, I'm supposed to be like, you know, whatever. And. And I Wore it for 10 minutes, and then I, like, kicked my leg and the rig just cracked me in the head. And I had. So they had to like, like, cgi a cut off my head.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, kind of for the whole special. It like, for the second. I filmed two nights, so one night it was fine. I filmed the other night, and it just. I had, like, four lines.

[Freddy]

The second night was the night, too.

[Samuel Elliott]

The second night was the night was the night I had to. I was on stage with, like. It was like a cut just caked in makeup, so I had to just kind of soldier through. And then, you know, they use the movie magic.

[Matt McCusker]

And I didn't know we could cgi.

[Samuel Elliott]

You can CGI wound off the head.

[Matt McCusker]

Whoa. That's good to know.

[Freddy]

Damn.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. You know, now people look for it like, oh, it's actually crystal clear right here. But.

[Matt McCusker]

Right, right.

[Samuel Elliott]

But, yeah, that was. That was. I had to let go. It was like a. It was kind of a pressure cooker moment, man, because I like, you know, everyone's like. They're trying to, like, film my head to be like, nah, it's good, it's good. And then they'd be like, more. Darker makeup, less makeup. And I had to tell them, like, yo, just let's let it rock, man. We'll figure this out after the fact.

[Matt McCusker]

Did you think about going, hey, I did this, like, just bring it up.

[Samuel Elliott]

I thought about it, but without it. Yeah, but then. Exactly. And then it's like, I feel like if I had taken off the makeup too much, it would have been just like. It was hard. Not just. It was in the front of my head. Ah, it was. It was like a. They had to put liquid bandage on it to get it to stop bleeding.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn.

[Samuel Elliott]

So, yeah, I cry, like, for real. Rocked myself.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

And it was for a sketch at the beginning of the special.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. It's like, totally unnecessary. Way too.

[Freddy]

In a way too like this for that thing. Everyone's going to skip through to get to the fucking hour.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. It was a bit of a struggle because they were like, we should shorten it. And I was like, now, man, we got it. It's got it. It was like a minute and 40.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, my God.

[Samuel Elliott]

But it's action packed. It's action packed. I think. I think people are gonna, like, It.

[Freddy]

No, I do.

[Samuel Elliott]

I.

[Freddy]

There's something about it. Like, you see an old one, like, Garry Shandling and Joan Rivers are like, shooting the shit and she's like, nagging him. You're like, this is kind of cool. I don't know.

[Samuel Elliott]

I'm a big intro. I like the intros.

[Freddy]

Have you done an intro?

[Matt McCusker]

I did an intro. My. Did the drone shot of me running. I like an intro too. I'm with you.

[Freddy]

Yeah, I did one once. I did a Barney Green.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, that was a great one.

[Freddy]

Barney Greengrass. Comedy Central when I did where I. I'm like eating a bagel and I. I pick up like an old lady and Barney Greengrass and I take her to Banger. And that's a. That's very important for a special.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it worked, though.

[Freddy]

It worked. It was fun.

[Samuel Elliott]

You get to feel like, you know, I didn't like, even direct it or do anything, but you get to kind of feel like you're like, yeah, I'm like, I'm making a movie here.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

Minute long thing of me.

[Freddy]

Like, it was kind of cool when Ari would do that in those storytelling things where he would just do something ins. Saying, you're like, it is cool. It is kind of.

[Matt McCusker]

It helps. So I gotta ask, you talking about making the cartoon. Yeah, yeah, tell us about that. Because we're trying to do a puppet show and no one likes it. So then I saw you do that and I was like, it feels like it's cooking. It's getting some steam.

[Samuel Elliott]

It was at first. So the first two did pretty well. And then the third one, there was a lot of like, blurred out cartoon penis in there. And I, you know, I don't want to be a guy who has a low view YouTube video. It's like, yo, I'm being shadow banned, obviously. But I. I wondered if that kind of. Or know people just genuinely were like, no, we don't like this.

[Matt McCusker]

I can see the right wing. Like, oh, we got to make everything gay. You know, Here we go.

[Freddy]

You're doing different shifts. I remember you telling me about that animation was like a thing you're passionate about. Like, when I saw you in Austin.

[Samuel Elliott]

You know, I. I like writing more. I like writing. So I. It's like as a. If it's for a book or whatever, I just like to write. And animation was like, well, this is like a. I. I thought it'd be a quick way to get ideas out there. It takes. Animation takes forever. Yeah, it takes forever. And you watch it so many times that by the end of it, you're just kind of like, dude, like, I don't even like this anymore. And then you see it and you're. God, that's pretty awesome.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it looks really good. I mean, that's why we want puppets because the animation took too long, so.

[Samuel Elliott]

And I. I co wrote them with my friend Pedro Salina. So I gotta give him a shout out because he. This. This one, Notary Republic Fort Lauderdale was about a notary Republic who can't read, but he can only smell documents. That was Pedro's idea. But that was like one of my favorite ones, so.

[Matt McCusker]

Hell yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

But that was kind of my idea. Like, let's throw them out there and see if we can come up with an idea that might be developable. Developable.

[Matt McCusker]

So did you think, hey, Netflix, we got the special. I might as well pick up the cartoon as well?

[Samuel Elliott]

That was kind of my plan, but I don't think it's happening.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, they're cunts over there.

[Samuel Elliott]

But no, I mean, we'll see. I don't know. I mean, do you ever see the original Rick and Morty? Like the pilot that kicked off Rick and Morty?

[Matt McCusker]

I have seen the pilot.

[Freddy]

Is it just the first?

[Samuel Elliott]

Not even. Not even. Sorry, I shouldn't even say pilot. It was like a sketch. I kicked it off and it's literally. It's like. It's like the dumbest video. It's just the guy, the old man trying to get the boy to like, touch his balls.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Samuel Elliott]

And it's like. It's just like a. Yeah, I think it's this thing. It's like a five minute thing. And it's just him being like, touch my balls.

[Matt McCusker]

Wow. And they bought it.

[Samuel Elliott]

They were like, this is genius. All right, man. You know, I. The commentary on these videos kills me.

[Matt McCusker]

I know.

[Samuel Elliott]

Hey, guys, real quick, let's play it.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

That show, first few seasons I thought were so funny, and then it just out of nowhere, it got kind of felt like it was like a whole new writing staff or something.

[Matt McCusker]

Didn't he got canceled or something, the guy? Yeah, Harmon.

[Freddy]

I think they both did for like a minute. Well, Dan was. I think he's back.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, okay.

[Samuel Elliott]

This isn't it. It's like a. This, this. It was like a short. It was based on a short that was just like him getting the kid to do something. Lick my balls or something. And it's like a poorly produced, like, format. Apparently that sold the idea.

[Matt McCusker]

Wow.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

It's a different time.

[Freddy]

Is it Adult Swim? Who bought it?

[Matt McCusker]

I Believe.

[Samuel Elliott]

Think so.

[Freddy]

They're in the weird.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean, that's true. And then south park did so well. Maybe they're like, hey, let's ride there.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's what everyone. Everyone wants a new south park, honestly. Yeah. Because if like. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

It's like, wait, this looks poorly done.

[Samuel Elliott]

It's something like this. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Wow.

[Samuel Elliott]

It's also crazy.

[Freddy]

It's just Back to the Future.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, exactly.

[Freddy]

Right. It's just like everything's got a thing. It's. It's doing, you know.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Literally wearing the outfit from Back to the Future.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. And he's like, in order to go back in time, you have to lick my balls.

[Matt McCusker]

Wow, that's great.

[Samuel Elliott]

Also the plot of the movie Spotlight, but yeah, man, you know, I just been trying to do just like, you know, different stuff because that for me, that's the goal. It's like, I'd like to just write.

[Freddy]

Honestly, you seem like a doer. You seem like you want to make.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. Make stuff and write. Yeah, I'd prefer that.

[Matt McCusker]

Are you not a fan of the road and all that?

[Samuel Elliott]

I. I like it. I like, but it would be nice to like have a scaled back version, you know what I mean? If you could just do like 12 cities, that'd be nice. Rather than having to like do it constantly and beyond Molo.

[Matt McCusker]

You got kids.

[Samuel Elliott]

Exactly.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

But you must have done the road pretty hard to. To gear up for this, right?

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, I was doing like, it was like two to three weekends a month.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

So. And I did it. I like a pretty long stretch of it, but nothing. Some people go out and do like for two weeks and I just do like two days and come back.

[Matt McCusker]

That's what I do.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, it's kind of the move.

[Matt McCusker]

Do you, you live in Austin? Do you do city sets?

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. Wait, what?

[Matt McCusker]

Like in the city, like in Austin, do you around during the week?

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, not as much as I should, but I still, I still pop out. I've been like, now that I have to come up with this new hour, I just wait until like, I absolutely have to do it, then I start. Oh, my God.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

I gotta figure it out. So now I've been. I've been doing a lot more because now I'm like, I'm. I'm still. I'm gonna start touring again, like pretty soon, so.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

Do you feel like you have a fresh amount of stuff?

[Samuel Elliott]

Sort of, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. It's the hard part.

[Samuel Elliott]

It's. Well, what I. What I always did, I always just did like a. What it Worked for the. This one is like, when I put out that special, while I was like, getting ready to film it, I started doing new material show. So I would do like a show where I'd be like, I'll do it all new 10 minutes. And you have other comics do 10. And then you do like five or six of those shows and you start to cobble together, like, at least something.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

And then you take that on like a decent 45 on the road and.

[Freddy]

Figure there's always someone on those shows who's doing old.

[Matt McCusker]

Always.

[Freddy]

There's one guy like, I saw that on Fallon.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

And I always say, look, no, Joe, it's like a newish, like, do something you're working on. Yeah, yeah. It is kind of the honor code, because people will start murdering and you're.

[Freddy]

Like, all right, we talk about this all the time. Back in the. The day at Mike's when you're doing a bit. Mark would always say, I can't tinker to Mike because, you know, like, they've heard this joke. But I'm just changing it slightly. I'm changing the word choice. And I feel that way, though. Yeah. The comedy seller will do new joke night that Wilson Vince will host. And it's. It's a great show.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

But now everyone wants on it. So we started with like seven eight minute sets. Now you get on it's like four minutes. Yeah, that's enough to just do the new shit.

[Samuel Elliott]

One thing.

[Freddy]

Yeah, but I like to try the new shit versus an old bit. Just to know words.

[Matt McCusker]

Yes, yes.

[Freddy]

That's why, like, if I'm doing a road set, I'm like, okay, let me just slide in one old. And you're like, fuck, the old one killed. And the new one's. Not that. Because it kills on a new joke show. But that's against other new.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, It's a good litmus test, though, to be like, all right, I'm getting a laugh. But yeah, how does this. Because it is funny. Because you're like, oh, this is working. But then their expectations are kind of lower because they're like, oh, it's a new joke. Then hit him with something tried and true.

[Matt McCusker]

And they're like, oh, yes, exactly. So I just taped my special this weekend and I went out yesterday with some new ideas. Bomb Fest, boy. And you're like, I suck.

[Samuel Elliott]

How did I write those, dude, I've been bombing hard. I. I've been going to the mothership. I'm like, just put me in the little room and just let Me just die on that stage. But I've. I'm starting to figure out. And, you know, again, it's. It's like, just enough to go to, like, clubs, and I try to work on it there and, you know, but it's the worst.

[Matt McCusker]

You're pretty well known. So you walk up and they're like, hey, here we go. And then you try to do it. They're like, we liked you.

[Samuel Elliott]

It's. It all depends. It's like, yeah, sometimes when I first moved down there, they'd be like, you never know who's gonna pop up. And the crowd would be like, who the is this guy? And then there'd be one guy be like, I love it. Yeah, that would be. That'd be a rough.

[Freddy]

You made that dude tonight, dude. Night.

[Samuel Elliott]

I turn on him.

[Freddy]

Like, shut the up, dude. It is. No, it's hard, man. It's hard to start, but I feel like the comedy crowds now cuts a podcast and stuff. At least a lot of the comedy fans are like, nah, this is part of the process. This is cool. So some people like watching you both. Like, that was kind of.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

I mean, dude, I'd watch some of my favorite comics. Bomb. And I'd be like, I've never seen Rock have rough sets. This is incredible.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

Like, no one. So few people get to see this side of him, you know?

[Matt McCusker]

That's true.

[Freddy]

Because these will be great in like, a week and a half.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. Yeah. I. For this, I, like, I had a really. Yeah, just like, get out there and be like, all right, I'm gonna kind of eat it for a little bit. And then, you know. Yeah. Because you are like, Although it's. I think it's so much more fun, man. Like, trying to figure, like, going up and be like, I have no idea if this is going to work for me. It, like, brings me back to, like, earlier on, we were like, oh, I don't know if it's gonna work or not. And, like, then you bomb me. You're like, I hate myself. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

And I feel guilty. Like, that guy paid a ticket and bought eight beers. And I'm like, up here, like, oh, is this Uber's weird? You know, he's like, what did I do? I wasted my night on this guy. The worst is when you do some old. And they're like, hey, you're working out up there, huh? And you're like, what? No, that's like my A material.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. Yeah. Like, it's nice. Someone.

[Freddy]

Yeah, it was a taping.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. It's like, it's nice to see you work. It's like, yeah, yeah, whatever. But no, it's fun though, man. That's all that, you know, that's how this hour just came out of, like. I, like, recorded that earlier special on YouTube and I called Shane. I was like, dude, should I, like, do clubs or just like, wait? He's like, oh, let's go do them. Just go do them. Who cares? And then like, he's like, that's what I'm doing. Like, I'm like, all right. And I, like, scheduled all these dates, and three weeks, three weeks later, he was like, fuck, dude. I don't know what the fuck.

[Matt McCusker]

Fuck.

[Samuel Elliott]

I based mine over yours, man.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I saw.

[Samuel Elliott]

But it kind of is the move. Just like, just rip it. I need to have, like, the pressure, otherwise I won't do it.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah. Hey, I think we're doing some of those. Those arenas with Shane in December. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm jumping on a few of those. That's.

[Samuel Elliott]

They're so fun.

[Matt McCusker]

It's so fun. It's like drinking 20 minutes, you know, decent paycheck, nice hotel, fun city.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, yeah. The round two is crazy. I never. I only ever did that.

[Freddy]

It's crazy selling that many tickets.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's cuz.

[Freddy]

That's like two shows kind of, right?

[Samuel Elliott]

Oh, dude, it's crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

And it's easier than you think. I thought the round would be like this, like, nightmare to do, but I think it's easier than, like, when you do the straight up arena where you're on a humongous stage, just facing people. I. That, like, I. You know, that's tough. But, like, when you're in the round, for some reason, I don't know why it feels easier because it's like you're just like, you know, here, this is like you're in like, seven comedy clubs at once, and you're able to be like, I'm in this one. I'm in this one.

[Matt McCusker]

I feel awkward rotating that. Weird. Like, I've been this way too long.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, you go.

[Freddy]

None of us are like mover comics.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

We're all kind of like in the pocket, just like, chilling, you know?

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. I kind of wait till I get a laugh and then I turn around. I'm like, I'm out of here. Because, yeah, otherwise you turn into like, you're like a minute hand on the clock. You're just.

[Freddy]

Yeah, let me give this punchline to the northwest over here.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah, let me rotate. I want to face Mecca for this One. Yeah. But then I'm like, the guy's behind me. I don't know. I feel.

[Freddy]

They got the screens and they got. It's. It is crazy. Like, I did. I did Grand Rapids with him, and it was like 18,000 people was like, this is insane.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

This many. Like, there's not that many more people in the city.

[Samuel Elliott]

I. Dude. Yeah. No, it, like, for real, like, messes up the city itself. Like, they'll be. It'll. There'll be, like, traffic and stuff because of it. It's pretty. It's pretty cool.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that's right. I did one. I think I told you this, but I did. With Reggie. Conquest. You know him. And he was so nervous in the green room. He's like, oh, God, I'm freaking out. I've never done an arena. We're like, you're gonna be fine. You got good jokes. Just tell the jokes. He goes up and he goes, hey, good to be here. I'm from Philly. Within, like, eight seconds, his biggest fear is happening. And then he goes, what the guys. So is Shane. Boom. So he's two booze deep.

[Freddy]

And, like, he's like, so I'm black. They're like.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. Bombing in those things does feel like. It's hard to even. Because you can't even quite. Like, in a club, you're pretty. Like, you can literally feel laughs and not in an arena. You're just, like. You're just drowning. You're like. Because you'll hear, technically, there are thousands of people laughing.

[Matt McCusker]

Right.

[Samuel Elliott]

You're like, it's not enough.

[Matt McCusker]

Right.

[Samuel Elliott]

This is a bomb. It's crazy. Yeah, that's.

[Freddy]

It is crazy, too, because I've done a bunch with. With Sandler, and I go up and I get no pop at all. And then I'm like. I'll bring up, like, Kevin Nealon or someone. They're like, oh, my God.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

Like any SNL guy from that era. Tim Meadows, they go apeshit.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, yeah.

[Freddy]

And it's like. Yeah. They grew up watching these guys.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

They're in the same world.

[Samuel Elliott]

It's a different thing. I was like, I didn't even know about the pop for a long time. I was living in innocence then. Yeah. You do some shows. You're like, oh, wow, that's. Yeah. You get your, like, kind of social worth score. Just kind of. Yeah, right there. Yeah. You're like, oh. But, you know, can't think too much about it.

[Matt McCusker]

No.

[Samuel Elliott]

I feel like people get a little. You know, it's a. It's a Thing people get.

[Freddy]

Yeah, it'll be fine.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. Weird about the pops because they're the big pops.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

Thunderous. I saw it at a. I was at a long time ago. I was at Drake and Future did a concert together. I don't know if they're still buddies. They might. They might have had a falling out and nobody likes. People didn't like Future, really. And that was like. Because they didn't. They didn't like, really clap for him that much. And then Drake came out and everyone's like. And I was like, oh, that could. I could see that causing a little.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, sure.

[Samuel Elliott]

Maybe that's. You know, they're not buddies anymore because of it.

[Matt McCusker]

What the hell's Future saying? What's his tune? I don't know him.

[Freddy]

Is he the one that banged Larsa Pippen?

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, that gets a pop for me.

[Freddy]

That's such a boomer way to know him. He's the one who. Boy banged a 90s bulls wife.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. Pippin, man. The Pippin family, man. That's like out of, like a tragedy. The Jordan. Because I think Michael Jordan's son might have also had sex with.

[Matt McCusker]

Wow.

[Samuel Elliott]

Scotty Pippen's wife. Yeah.

[Freddy]

They were dating, I think.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Holy.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. There was like a huge.

[Freddy]

That.

[Samuel Elliott]

That was like, I, you know, I your in my Gucci flip flops. It's like a huge line. And it was about Scotty Pippen's, I believe.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn. Yeah. Flip FL up.

[Freddy]

She banged a lot of NBA. She banged someone who was on the team with Scotty Pippen Jr. Really? So it's weird that it's like you're a teammate with a guy who's like, I, your mom.

[Matt McCusker]

Wow.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. That's not a good locker room.

[Freddy]

It's not a good locker room.

[Matt McCusker]

Who is that who came out and he said he. All the Kardashians, including the mom.

[Samuel Elliott]

Is it Kanye?

[Matt McCusker]

No, it wasn't Kanye.

[Samuel Elliott]

Oh, no.

[Matt McCusker]

Some other guy. But we'll. Oh, man. That's the mom.

[Freddy]

That's Larsa Pippen. What? Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Of Scottie Pippen.

[Freddy]

Scotty Pippen Jr. Scottie Pippen's wife. He must have cheated on her so much, though, in the 90s.

[Samuel Elliott]

This is like. Yeah.

[Freddy]

Revenge tour.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, interesting.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, that's also, you know, it's Live by the Sword, Die by the sword.

[Matt McCusker]

There he is. Future Tristan.

[Samuel Elliott]

Oh, man. They. I didn't know they had a. They're pretty organized. Is this all the guys that had sex? This is.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, my Lord.

[Freddy]

Oh, no.

[Samuel Elliott]

Marcus Jordan, People magazine. Shame on you guys, man.

[Matt McCusker]

Jeff, Kobe.

[Freddy]

Now we're getting to like, G Leaguers.

[Matt McCusker]

Caitlin Clark.

[Samuel Elliott]

Damn, dude, that's an insane article. That sucks.

[Freddy]

When you're. When you're.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's the ones we know about.

[Matt McCusker]

Exactly.

[Freddy]

When your ex wife is hot and she has an appetite for that, she's gonna get it.

[Matt McCusker]

Of course.

[Samuel Elliott]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

That must suck of your Scotty, because he seems like he's, like, spiraled a little bit.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Poor bastard. He was also second fiddle kind of guy too.

[Freddy]

Yeah, that's a great second fiddle to me.

[Matt McCusker]

Sure.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Can you pull up the guy who banged all the Kardashians? I forget.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, I'm curious who that is.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know if it was Ray J. That feels too easy. But it was some guy, some rapper.

[Samuel Elliott]

That'S like the Thanos.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

No one person has had sex.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, he said he did it.

[Samuel Elliott]

Oh, no.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn.

[Freddy]

That seems like too hard to accomplish. Yeah, I don't think getting the mom in there too is a tough one.

[Matt McCusker]

Yes. But she looks damn good.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

The game says slept with most of the Kardashians.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, my bad.

[Samuel Elliott]

Visual. Yeah, we get the people. Okay, which one is that? This? I think that's even one.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know who that is.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

I think that's Nicki Minaj.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, fun. This guy's doing all right. Is he the guy who made the gay jokes and got. No, that was.

[Samuel Elliott]

That was the baby. Yeah, baby, baby.

[Freddy]

We sound so uncool on this podcast. Wait, which one is Future? No, the baby. That's the one.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah. Damn.

[Freddy]

The game had a moment, though. He had some cool tunes back in the day.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, man.

[Matt McCusker]

Really?

[Freddy]

I like, I like. Yeah, he had, like, the hated or love at the Underdogs on top.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, he was like, 50 cents. Yeah. Yeah. He was like, 50 Cent came out and they were like, all right, let's. Let's get. You know, he was like a kind of another 50 cent kind of thing. Tougher. 50 cent was such a tough guy. Everyone's like, well, it's crazy, right? Yeah, he was.

[Freddy]

You got shot nine times.

[Samuel Elliott]

Like, you can't you ever fantasize about surviving? Like, yeah, I do it all the time.

[Matt McCusker]

All the time.

[Samuel Elliott]

Would you get, like, a tattoo about, like, where all the bullets were? I. I had a fantasy about that. A lot of just being in some sort of, like, you know, like, work situation or something where, like, you have to take your shirt off and they're just like, holy, that guy's been shot. Have, like, all the bullet holes and you'd put, like, spider webs on them or something.

[Matt McCusker]

Right.

[Samuel Elliott]

Just walking my dogs back. That'd be so cool.

[Freddy]

I think I could survive nine punches, though. I mean, nine bullets is insane, you know? Lucky you are that. That didn't hit.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that's true.

[Freddy]

But he all. He was also like a. I mean, he's huge. He's a man.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, he's a man.

[Samuel Elliott]

True. Yeah, he's.

[Freddy]

Nine bullets is insane.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. What happened?

[Samuel Elliott]

I don't know, man.

[Matt McCusker]

He looks pretty clean.

[Samuel Elliott]

Trying to find the bullet wounds.

[Matt McCusker]

Maybe tatted over him.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's. That's what I would do, honestly. Yeah.

[Freddy]

He would not have had this career if, like, one just hit the spine and he's just in a wheelchair.

[Matt McCusker]

True.

[Freddy]

A lot of it's the swag.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. If he got shot nine times and it showed severely, that wouldn't be. Oh, yeah. One of them hit his cheek.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, damn. He used to also bang Chelsea Handler.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Which is also hard to do. The good thing about fucking Chelsea Handler is, you know, she'll get an abortion. She does not want children.

[Freddy]

You know, some of her insults hurt almost as much as the bullet, too.

[Matt McCusker]

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[Guest or Additional Speaker]

So we have some peeves and Rex from.

[Samuel Elliott]

Oh, yeah.

[Freddy]

Oh, you brought them.

[Samuel Elliott]

I do. I got some peeps. I got some peeves. Here we go. Hey. It was funny too, because I was like, I don't know. I don't really Nothing really. As soon as I started thinking about them, I could have listed like 40 million.

[Matt McCusker]

I love it.

[Freddy]

This is exciting.

[Samuel Elliott]

There's a I got a lot of peeves. Sticklers.

[Matt McCusker]

For real.

[Samuel Elliott]

That was the first one. That was me just, like, kicking stuff around. Yeah. Actually, I don't like sticklers, man. Like, when people are being like, yeah, that pisses me off.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

My wife's a stickler. She'll get me. She'll stickle me on some. And I'm like, yeah, it doesn't matter. It's like, well, we need to do it. And I'm like, just ignore it. And then sometimes I'll be wrong and it'll blow up in my face.

[Matt McCusker]

I'm like, yeah.

[Freddy]

Like, women are more likely to be sticklers, you know?

[Samuel Elliott]

She does. She'll be in a good way, too.

[Matt McCusker]

Do.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

You need a little structure.

[Samuel Elliott]

You do. You do. Sometimes she'll hit me with, like, I'll be driving. And she'll be like, do you have your driver's license? I'm like, no. She's like, you need it. It's like, no, I don't. Like, nothing's gonna happen. She's like, you should have it on you when you drive.

[Matt McCusker]

Wow.

[Samuel Elliott]

But.

[Freddy]

But it sounds like you're a good pair.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, we are.

[Freddy]

Because you need one of them.

[Matt McCusker]

We.

[Samuel Elliott]

We do. And then I need to be a stickler. It's actually. Yeah. Because I'll, like, show up to get, like, my driver's license. Like, do you have, like, three forms of id? I'm like, they don't give a fuck.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, sure.

[Samuel Elliott]

They definitely do. Then I'm like, this guy's a fucking asshole. Fuck this guy.

[Matt McCusker]

I just got a new ID. And they were like, do you have a W2? I'm like, no, you have to leave. Then. Like, what? I've been waiting two hours. I gotta go back the next day.

[Samuel Elliott]

I got a new ID recently, and they spelled my name, you know, Mick Kusker, but they spay. It was MC Space, Cuspa, and I betrayed my wife. She goes, they're not going to let you. Blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, it's not going to affect anything. Relax. And like, we got rejected for some weird tax thing we're doing. Trust your license.

[Freddy]

I was like, every time I fly United, for some reason I can't change, I'm Samuel E. Murrell. On my license, for some reason, it just saved Samuel A. Like, the E is part of my first name. And they wouldn't let me on. I'm like, I try. I've called. I've changed everything. They're like. I'm like, clearly. You see, there's an error here. Like, yeah, clearly. Clearly I'm this person. And they're like. They wouldn't let me. I. It was like, a whole thing I had to go through.

[Matt McCusker]

Wow.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. That. That gets me so mad when I'm like. When it's like, dude, you know, like, you're holding me up on some dude.

[Matt McCusker]

To be fair, I wouldn't let a guy named Samuel Elliott, either.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Can we have a guess what E stands for?

[Freddy]

Yeah, go for it.

[Matt McCusker]

You got anything, Ernest?

[Samuel Elliott]

Okay. Edward.

[Matt McCusker]

Eric.

[Freddy]

That'd be a cool. It's Elias.

[Matt McCusker]

Never gotten that.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

I used to lie to people and say I was named after Defoe and Platoon. It was a Private Elias. Right. So, yeah, I was, like, named after Defoe. And they're like, that movie came out the. I'm like, yeah, it doesn't matter. Don't worry about. That's a lie. But he was a cool character.

[Matt McCusker]

Defoe, huge dong, packing heat. Packing heat. They have the cgi. His dong bulge out of some movies.

[Samuel Elliott]

Are you serious?

[Matt McCusker]

That's how big his dong is.

[Samuel Elliott]

Why didn't they let it ride?

[Freddy]

Because they said large Venture, I think, was saying it would have messed up the scene. That's how big it was.

[Matt McCusker]

Distracting.

[Freddy]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Whoa.

[Samuel Elliott]

Is that his dick?

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, that's a limp. Okay.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

That's a big, limp dick.

[Matt McCusker]

I thought it'd be bigger, to be honest.

[Freddy]

It's pretty good.

[Matt McCusker]

All right.

[Freddy]

But he is a short guy.

[Matt McCusker]

That's true.

[Freddy]

I mean, think about how shocking would be to see a guy that short with, like, a. I don't know, man.

[Samuel Elliott]

That could have been him. Like, completely shrivel. Okay.

[Matt McCusker]

And he's uncut.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yikes.

[Samuel Elliott]

It is Friday. There's. Yeah. Judging flaccid penises is tough. You also really let yourself. You're like, that's a big flaccid dick. Then you have him. Like, that's not that big. You're like, yeah, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Trust me. It's bigger than mine.

[Samuel Elliott]

My part is this trap a couple times. That's why I'm like, you know, it's. It's a dick.

[Matt McCusker]

It's way bigger than mine. I just thought it'd be bigger just by the bulge.

[Samuel Elliott]

I had.

[Freddy]

I had a bit about this, about his, like, how they had to hire a body double for this. I'm like, some struggling actor got a call from his agent, like, dude, we booked you the part. Which one? Hamlet. He's like, no. Small cock.

[Matt McCusker]

That's funny.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's.

[Matt McCusker]

All right. Let's.

[Samuel Elliott]

I mean, back.

[Matt McCusker]

Brutal.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, that's. That Shit fucking fires me up. And again, sometimes I will be about to miss an exit, and I'll be like, I know, shut up. And then I'll be like, thank God. But, yeah, that'll get me going.

[Matt McCusker]

My wife is a backseat driver and horrible driver.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

I'm like, why am I taking advice from you? You can't drive.

[Freddy]

I'm both those things. I'm a terrible driver, and I'm. I'm. I never. So out of respect to the driving community, I don't drive. Yeah, I have a license, but I don't want to be because I've been in that situation where I'm driving so poorly that people like, you idiot. I'm like, I know. I'm sorry. Yeah, just take it.

[Matt McCusker]

Right?

[Freddy]

But, yeah, but I try to keep my mouth shut.

[Samuel Elliott]

I'm a big phantom breaker. I'm in the passenger side. I'm like, a lot of my.

[Matt McCusker]

Interesting. Do you stop short? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

I always feel. That kind of makes me feel good, though, when I'm like, whoa.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it does feel good. That's how I met my wife. On a bus. Got the tits.

[Samuel Elliott]

Grab some titties, save her. Saved her life.

[Matt McCusker]

When stuff's all over the floor, you.

[Freddy]

Seem like a neat guy.

[Samuel Elliott]

I'm actually. No, I'm kind of a mess. But, like, really, I used to work. I used to paint houses. And, like, you know, when you're painting, you have all these different paint buckets everywhere. You get to a point where, like, you can't move anywhere. And, like, dude, it makes me.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

Or like, toys on the floor for my kids. Like, if there's toys everywhere, I'll be like, once. Once, I can't walk. Like, I can have, like, stuff out everywhere. It doesn't bother me if it's on counters. If it's on the floor, I. It, like, freaks me out.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I get that. Then you step on that Lego and that kid getting a wallop.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

Have you had that moment yet?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude, my kid. All these. Has all these fruits, like, made out of wood. Like, little pieces of fruit, like, so you can chew on and whatever. You step on a half a banana, it stinks.

[Samuel Elliott]

Oh, dude. Yeah, I have. We have a lot of unicorn stuff. And it's like, you catch a unicorn horn, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn.

[Freddy]

Kids.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, I have two little girls.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, we got a lot of unicorn.

[Matt McCusker]

Just checking. No, my brother had My Little Pony, and my dad was like, oh, here we go. Did he nervous? Yeah, but he turned out normal.

[Samuel Elliott]

Really straight yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Just joking.

[Samuel Elliott]

What about kings? Yeah. Like, it might be some kink in there, though, if it's like, probably.

[Matt McCusker]

Probably like the unicorn up his ass or something. But, yeah, he had all. He loved My Little Pony.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's funny.

[Freddy]

There's gonna be some study. Like what. What you play with as a kid is gonna lead to something.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know.

[Samuel Elliott]

Oh, yeah, I was. I was a big Barbie molester. I'd fly. I'd find Barbies, and I was. Yeah. GI Joes are all up. I was. It's kind of disgusting. Oh, wow.

[Matt McCusker]

That's funny. My brother was a kid molester, so. No.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's why he had to buy little ponies.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Geez.

[Samuel Elliott]

Oh, wow. So this is. Yeah. My Little Pony. Yeah. Well, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

There really is porn on anything.

[Samuel Elliott]

I know. That's crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn. See if this. We might be drunk porn. Just me and Sam blowing each other. Remember the Lemon Party?

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

Which one's that?

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, what is it? You want to tell them or should I? Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

You never seen Lemon Party? It's pretty cool.

[Freddy]

What is it?

[Matt McCusker]

It's a classic. Oh, God. What?

[Samuel Elliott]

You gotta go.

[Matt McCusker]

Lemonparty.org There you go.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, it was cool. You, like, sent it to somebody. They'd open it.

[Freddy]

You had to say, are you serious?

[Samuel Elliott]

They didn't have all this stuff before.

[Matt McCusker]

I agree. Oh, they got really bought it.

[Freddy]

So what is it?

[Samuel Elliott]

Oh, dude, it was a website. If I'm thinking of the right one. There it is.

[Matt McCusker]

There it is. There it is. Oh, they colored over it.

[Freddy]

Oh, I have. Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. So you would have said you would take it. Thankfully, you'd open it up and it'd be a bunch of old men blowing each other.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

You know anyone that ever sent that to their dad?

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, God, no, I never.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, I never. I never had the courage, my friend. I don't think my dad would find.

[Freddy]

The humor in this.

[Samuel Elliott]

No. He was spaz. My friend in church one time, you know, like the. If you go to Catholic church, you're the sign of peace and shake hands. My friend gave his dad the French tickle on the inside of his. And dude, he.

[Matt McCusker]

He.

[Samuel Elliott]

He flipped. He held up a hand. He was like, what the. Like, he's gonna hit him. Because it kind of does. Oh, man.

[Matt McCusker]

There it is. Classic. These guys are having a good time.

[Freddy]

At the bottom's having a great time.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Who's the worst position? Who's the best position?

[Matt McCusker]

I think the guy in the. Laying on his back is doing the best.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, he's probably asleep. Honestly, they're all together.

[Matt McCusker]

This is the worst holocaust footage I've ever seen, by the way.

[Freddy]

The worst way to find out someone died. He's cold.

[Matt McCusker]

Go to mouth to mouth.

[Samuel Elliott]

It almost looks like the same guy. Like, almost like a Photoshop.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, right. Holy. It's like an M.C. escher.

[Samuel Elliott]

The kisser.

[Freddy]

Looks a little Epstein esque.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, little Epstein.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

Way too old, though.

[Matt McCusker]

One of the left's kind of got a Johnny.

[Samuel Elliott]

I thought this was Tom Brady and his son.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, the ass eating in the top left. All right. X out, X out.

[Freddy]

My God.

[Matt McCusker]

Jesus. Oh, man.

[Samuel Elliott]

The old man gay porn market is crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Crazy.

[Freddy]

A man's ass. You've got to have a strong tongue.

[Matt McCusker]

We.

[Freddy]

We are not well kept.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's true, actually. I didn't think about that. Gross. Top of the mountain.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it really.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's top of the ass eating mountain.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Pallet here with the next one.

[Samuel Elliott]

There we go. This is just stupid. If, like when your kids get like. If they. You take them to like a circus or whatever and they buy some dumb thing that, you know, they kind of forced you to buy. Like a blinking thing with a blinking light. If I come down in the dark and I see the light blinking, I want to just like snap it in half.

[Matt McCusker]

Whoa.

[Samuel Elliott]

It just pisses me off. It's just this piece of toy, and you come down, it's supposed to be dark, and it's just like a multi colored pulsing light, right? You're like, what the is that? And you go, it's that thing. Oh, unicorn bubble maker that I bought for $40.

[Matt McCusker]

Wow.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. That pisses me off, man.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. The amount of batteries you buy with a kid, it's crazy.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, it's pretty nuts.

[Matt McCusker]

Everything lights up and whatnot.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Brutal. You just wait.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, true.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

We'll see you guys holding any peeves? I think we may have one more.

[Matt McCusker]

I got one.

[Freddy]

I don't have any. Good.

[Matt McCusker]

And I got a toast I want to hear.

[Freddy]

We haven't done toast in a while.

[Matt McCusker]

We do a toast for. Because all we do is peeves. So every now and then you got to give a shout at something good.

[Samuel Elliott]

Okay.

[Matt McCusker]

There's a new taco spot on Christopher Street.

[Freddy]

I is this one I'm thinking of.

[Matt McCusker]

I think it is right by. What is that? Papaya? What's that called? It's got. I went in there the other day because I was jonesing for his taco and it's cheap, it's quick. It's got the salsa bar, a big toast of the sauce. You go to a Restaurant, they got the bar with the free, the green salsa, the. The. The red, the. The spicy, the lime wedges, the radishes, the onions.

[Freddy]

Love a pickled beet or onion too. Oh, I went to one that used to be. They used to have it on St Mark's it used to be like that, but it was a falafel bar. And I was like, this is incredible.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, that's nice.

[Freddy]

You just pack it in a pita. You just love it. It's great.

[Matt McCusker]

It's the best.

[Samuel Elliott]

Is it? And is this like made orders, like a chipotle style where they like.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

Tacos in front of you and you.

[Matt McCusker]

See the guy whipping it up, you're like, that's my chicken, that's my pork, dude.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, yeah. Self serve salsa bar. Oh, huge, man.

[Matt McCusker]

I'm sure that's big in Texas.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, you get them, but not everywhere does it, man. So when you see them, it's like, this is. It's really nice.

[Freddy]

You guys got the good max, man. That's like the one cuisine in New York. We haven't. We don't. We have a couple spots, but yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

It'S not the same.

[Samuel Elliott]

No, they, they really.

[Freddy]

California and Texas have some good.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, the Mexican food there is for real. Phenomenal.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, I'm with you on this one. The next one, people.

[Samuel Elliott]

Which one? Indoor, bro.

[Matt McCusker]

It's the worst.

[Samuel Elliott]

I can't stand indoor lights, man.

[Freddy]

Yeah, speaking of, it's pretty bright in here.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, this is like. At least you're like, you need them. It's like a podcast. You need them for filming. But like. Yeah, dude. Like when I. First thing in the morning, the lights come on. I really pisses me off.

[Freddy]

Now you realize how healthy natural light is. You just go outside and you feel the sun. You're like, this is what I'm supposed to do. Yeah, this is, it's.

[Samuel Elliott]

Dude, like a good. Like a flu. Like a fluorescent light in like an office. Like they used to make me feel like ghastly, man.

[Freddy]

Yeah, my apartment lights even kind of suck. They're even too bright.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, you gotta get the blue light blockers. But you look like the world's biggest dork. That's the only drawback.

[Freddy]

You ever do the, the red light before bed? I have the red light lamp by my bed. It helps.

[Matt McCusker]

What is that?

[Freddy]

It's just a red light, but yeah, it's easier.

[Samuel Elliott]

Blue light wakes you up and red light kind of calms you down. Cuz blue lights like daylight and red lights like more sunset. Oh, that's why you wear the blue light blockers and everything looks red. I have the salt lamp, which is kind of like red light.

[Freddy]

I do, I do it also if I like. I'm watching a show or something before bed. I'll put the. The glasses on me too.

[Matt McCusker]

Interesting.

[Samuel Elliott]

I. I do them if I have to fly early because like the airport, when you like wake up when it's dark and go to the. And you're just like. I put the blue. You put the blockers on. That is actually nice.

[Freddy]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

But you know, it's just some people see them like, what the is that?

[Matt McCusker]

You look like a. Like a. Like a marksman or something. Yeah.

[Freddy]

I was FaceTime with a girl and she's got the red light. I got the red light. We look like we're like FaceTiming from like 2001 Space Odyssey. I'm like, this looks so weird, but.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, the red light district. Must see great.

[Samuel Elliott]

True. Yeah. Sleep like babies.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah. I mean their are bleeding, but yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

The other handler kicks them back into a burlap sack, but other than that.

[Matt McCusker]

Wait a minute for breeze. This is interesting.

[Samuel Elliott]

I don't like the plugins, man. I don't like them.

[Freddy]

What are these again? The Febreze plug. Plug them in the wall and they. And it's a nice smell.

[Samuel Elliott]

Smells. Yeah, I would say more like chemically just. And especially when they spray. If I'm just standing somewhere and I get sprayed with a mist of chemical sense that like pisses me off.

[Matt McCusker]

It is a very artificial chemically smell.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. I. I'm a huge. I'll. I've been to places before and I'll just like kind of pop. I went to. Used to go to a gym where they kept them. I would pop them out of the wall and just.

[Matt McCusker]

Nice.

[Samuel Elliott]

I hated them.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, the tell's got that old joke.

[Freddy]

I was literally just thinking of this.

[Matt McCusker]

I can't remember.

[Freddy]

It was something about when you see this Febreze, like, who are you fooling? I know you did something smelly in here.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Now it's lemon and yeah.

[Freddy]

It's a classic. Is it all that's like scanning through the memories to tell.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Freddy]

I was just thinking it's a good bit.

[Matt McCusker]

Okay, hit us with the last one.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

If people say no to petting your dog.

[Samuel Elliott]

If I. If I ask somebody to pet the dog and they're like, no, that's crazy, dude. It happened to me in the grocery store the other day and I was. And it was like a dog. A type of breed I used to Have. So I'm like, oh, man, you have an Aita. Let me. Let me. And they were like, yeah, I'd prefer if you didn't. I was so mad and, you know, like, was with my wife, and I'm walking away. I'm like, she's a. My wife. Relax, dude. It's her dog. She can say. And I'm like, yeah, that's up. Yeah, I was just mad. I mean, that's your wife.

[Freddy]

She's a stickler for the rules. She is, but.

[Samuel Elliott]

She is, but you're right, she is. But, dude, it was like, bro, I just want to pet your dog. Like, what the, man? She was like, yeah, I'd prefer if you didn't. And just kind of, like, walked, like.

[Matt McCusker]

Yanked the leash and was just like, geez, some owner.

[Freddy]

It's also like, I'd prefer such a weird way to phrase it.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

Like. Like, make up a lie. Like, oh, I'm sorry, he's got a bad something.

[Samuel Elliott]

I thought I was just being. I was just like. Like, asking was just, like, a formality. I was, like, getting ready to grab this dog's head. I was just trying to be polite and be like, hey, you mind if I pet your dog? And she's like, yeah, actually, no.

[Matt McCusker]

Wow. The dog's probably like, come on.

[Samuel Elliott]

What the.

[Matt McCusker]

Let me get this pet.

[Samuel Elliott]

Let me get this pet. Yeah, I love Akitas.

[Freddy]

They're like, what those look like.

[Samuel Elliott]

They're. They're these, like, giant Japanese dogs that have, like, curly tails, and they're like. They're like, vicious guard dogs, too.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Simpson had an Akita.

[Samuel Elliott]

Did he really?

[Freddy]

I guess they're not that good guard dogs.

[Matt McCusker]

Whoa.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

It was with the wife when she was killed.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Saying, this is how, you know, O.J. did it. Because it would not attack its owner.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yes.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

But it would attack a stranger for sure. Attacking its owner.

[Matt McCusker]

Love family.

[Samuel Elliott]

Dang. That's a good. That's actually a good defense because, yeah, they are like. They were like. I feel like people say it's about all dogs, but they used to, like, guard, like, the children because they're very good with their families. But if a stranger walks in, they'll literally just try to kill you.

[Matt McCusker]

And it's rare you see a dog in blackface. I mean, look at that. That's full Al Jolson on that thing.

[Freddy]

Dude.

[Samuel Elliott]

And they don't really. They wouldn't bark. They kind of just like, if I had someone come into my house, they'll just quietly follow, like, shadow that person. And if they, like, move quick, they'll jump up and they're awesome.

[Matt McCusker]

Whoa. Interesting. Really cool, Akita.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. Really good dog. That's a. That's a shout out to the Akita.

[Freddy]

Jeff Ross has a giant, giant guard dog that he brings everywhere. And I always run into him on the street because we go to the same coffee shop, and every time I see this dog, it, like, lunges to attack me. And I'm like, that. That's kind of a peeve.

[Matt McCusker]

I'm like, yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

I'm like.

[Freddy]

Every time I just wave, I'm like. I'm like, all right, sorry. You know?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that's annoying. And they always go, he's all right, he's all right.

[Freddy]

But it's like, everyone like, well, maybe stop bringing him around everywhere. You got this weapon with you.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, exactly. Try to bite me.

[Freddy]

You're having a gun that's just faulty.

[Samuel Elliott]

We. We had a. My dad and his brothers had, like, a trash business, and they had, like, this, you know, trash yard where they had, like, literally, like, a junkyard dog. And it was the meanest dog. Like, it would. It would, like, frill. Try to bite. Like, I was a little kid, and I would, like, pet its head, and if I stopped, it would be, like, growling, and it bit like, a couple of the customers.

[Matt McCusker]

Jeez.

[Samuel Elliott]

And they had. They fucking put it down. Like, they did it themselves.

[Matt McCusker]

Remember how scary that was? We walked by that one house with the dog, and it would be like, come running up at you. We'd, like, eat the fence trying to get to you. And you're like, jesus. Who enjoys this?

[Freddy]

It's a movie. The Sandlot.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

True.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

Dog.

[Samuel Elliott]

Do you ever get chased by a dog?

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, yeah, I have.

[Freddy]

I don't remember.

[Samuel Elliott]

I did one time. Yeah. We were freaking out. I got it. Like, it. It got me. It didn't bite me. It just, like, knocked me down. Paul's on me. And then ran away, which is pretty nice. But I was myself.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I. I cried. My mom had to come out. I was 38. But, yeah, it was bad.

[Samuel Elliott]

But, yeah, the junkyard dog, they put it down themselves. My uncles, like, shot it. Shot it.

[Matt McCusker]

Old school.

[Samuel Elliott]

Old school. Shot it and it took, like, two rounds. Was still alive.

[Matt McCusker]

Jeez.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, it was really gross.

[Freddy]

Shoot in the head.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Where are you from?

[Samuel Elliott]

Right outside Philadelphia.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

Delaware County. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of nuts. They did that.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

They're like, yeah, we put that dog. Because that dog was. I was like, oh. Because I used to see it. Like, I'd pet it because I Still, like. Like the dog. Yeah. And they're like, oh, we gotta put it down. Like, yeah, we shot that thing, like, three times in the head. It's still. Still moving.

[Freddy]

His uncle was Christy Gnome.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, it's. I know it's not a popular take to say, you know, oh, shot the dog. But that was.

[Freddy]

That's crazy.

[Samuel Elliott]

Growing up, it was like, yeah, you put animals down. Like, I. I grew up on, like.

[Freddy]

Down in other places, too, I guess.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. That was just, you know, because I grew up in kind of like a rural area, and, like. Yeah, you would. Like, I would go out with my dad and, like, if you're in his garden, if there was, like. I think they're called voles. Like, kind of like a little groundhog tunneling animal. And he'd be like, all right, we're gonna drop smoke bombs in the holes. And you'd smoke it out and just stand by the last hole with a gun and just. Dude, it was pretty brutal.

[Matt McCusker]

Whoa. That sounds kind of fun, though, with the.

[Samuel Elliott]

It was pretty. It was pretty awesome.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

But, yeah, it was like. Yeah, and they did you, like, their eye would just be, like, gone. It just blows these things apart.

[Freddy]

Did he have wrecks, too? Did I see it?

[Samuel Elliott]

Wrecks? Oh, yeah. These are gonna be duds, man. But. Oh, you know what's good, dude? The chili pad.

[Matt McCusker]

Chili.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's a huge wreck for me. Yeah. So, like, you know, you're like, your just. Bed gets hot when you're sleeping.

[Freddy]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

There's a thing you plug into your wall, and you fill a unit with water. You got to use distilled water so the minerals don't build up and, like, clog it. So you roll that little pad out underneath your sheet, and it covers, like, half the bed. So my wife has regular bed. I have chili bed. And it maintains, like, you can set the temperature, So I do, like, 64 degrees. So my side of the bed is just like, a frigid, freezing area the whole time I'm sleeping.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn, that's great. In the summer.

[Samuel Elliott]

Oh, dude, it's. It's awesome.

[Freddy]

I think our buddy Ryan Hamilton uses this.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, dude.

[Samuel Elliott]

This is a. I was like, you know, I heard about him, but I started using it. It's like. And it's just so nice. You turn it on, brush your teeth, take a shower, and you get in your bed, and it's just ice cold.

[Matt McCusker]

It was a good wreck.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

Do you keep the room cold?

[Samuel Elliott]

As cold as I can with the wife, dude. You know what I mean?

[Freddy]

They.

[Samuel Elliott]

They're like iguanas, bro. They run hot. So I keep it as cold as I can. And then also her feet will come over onto my chili pad. It's like. It's like an electric fence. She'.

[Matt McCusker]

So I got diarrhea real bad in Mexico. That. That bet was a chili pest. Low THC weeds.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, I'm a big fan of those. Did we just get those? Oh, yeah. Similar thing, though. I. I like them, man. They're nice. They're nice for a little backyard barbecue because they're not like. They make them like 2.5 milligrams, where you can like, have one and not like, freak. And you can slowly drink them on. They're. I'm big on those.

[Matt McCusker]

All right, good call.

[Samuel Elliott]

So this is a dud. John Martin. It's just a guy I've been listening to. It's just. He's like a obscure kind of like British folk singer from the 70s. It's not really the thing that rivets the nations, but.

[Matt McCusker]

Pull him up. I like folk.

[Samuel Elliott]

He's. Dude, he's actually. He's got a cool story, too.

[Freddy]

What's his story?

[Samuel Elliott]

He just was like, you know, kicking around. He was a musician and then his wife was like. He married. He met this lady who was a. Like a. I think it's with a. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Guy.

[Samuel Elliott]

Oh, there he is.

[Matt McCusker]

There he is.

[Samuel Elliott]

But his wife, he, like, met this lady who's success, who's a successful musician. And then like, he was like, I'll just be like a studio guitarist for you. And then he completely took over the album and was like, yeah, we're gonna be co writing. And then he impregnated her and just like, left for two decades and went on the road and became a successful. He's really.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, this is right up my. Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

And he. He plays in a bunch of weird tunings too. So, like, you know his songs, you can like, tune the guitar so when you strum it, it sounds like a chord in and of itself. So he was just like. He'd always mess with all these weird tunings. He was all. If you watch his videos, he's always like, just yacked out of his mind doing concerts. He's really. He's a funny guy.

[Matt McCusker]

Hell, yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

But he eventually got super fat and he became an alcoholic and he, like, like, broke his neck by crashing into a cow on like, a country road in Ireland. And he, like, ended up losing his foot.

[Freddy]

Oh, no.

[Samuel Elliott]

From some other type of infection. There he is. Dude. Turned into a unit and there's a doc it was really cool. There's a documentary on him and he had, like, lost his foot. He's in this horrible car crash. And, you know, he's just like. His whole life kind of exploded, and they just. He got to play, like, just a show and like, a pub. He was like, traveling the world. He was like a pretty. You know, he was like, hanging out with Phil Collins and. But eventually he just, like, has one leg and just shows up and plays a show in, like, an old pub and he's just, you know, like, this is awesome.

[Freddy]

I think I got that. So that guy playing slots in Vegas.

[Matt McCusker]

He.

[Samuel Elliott]

Dude, he went. He went full bore. He just drank every day.

[Freddy]

That is a face. That is an amazing face.

[Samuel Elliott]

But he's so good, man. He was awesome.

[Freddy]

I'm pumped.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

John, my. Solid air was like his big. Did you ever hear of Nick Drake?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

So he. Solid air. He wrote that him and Nick Drake were boys, and he wrote that for Nick Drake. Because Nick Drake was a sad boy. Boy.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

He died.

[Matt McCusker]

Holy moly. See, this is what's good. You were worried about this wreck. This is good stuff.

[Samuel Elliott]

It's a deep cut for sure, but some people.

[Freddy]

You're wrecking of the right people here.

[Samuel Elliott]

Nice.

[Freddy]

And I feel like our listeners love, like, this.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

More of a future guy.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. John Martin, he's. Yeah, he's got a huge. He's. You can, like, if you want something new to listen to, because that's on Spotify. I just get, like, the same. I listen to all the time. So this was a guy I got to, like, really go, like, through album by album. Like, damn. He keeps surprising me with new songs.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. And, hey, micro dosing. We could all get behind that.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's. Look, that's it. The chili pad, weed, seltzers, music and microdosing. That's how I've never.

[Freddy]

I've still never tried.

[Matt McCusker]

Really. Not at all scared, man.

[Samuel Elliott]

I don't know. Mushrooms are number one.

[Freddy]

I'm gonna try it. I'll try it with you.

[Matt McCusker]

I'll try. Yeah, we'll do.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's a good idea. Yeah, that's.

[Freddy]

I know.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's.

[Freddy]

I think that's what. I'm gonna do it.

[Samuel Elliott]

But, I mean, you could. You can just throw it away if you freak out.

[Freddy]

I got. I got a wreck.

[Matt McCusker]

All right.

[Freddy]

I'll do audiobooks sometimes because I'll, you know, just walk around a lot. And I started this audiobook. It's. It's called Educated by Tara Westover. It's incredible. It's this Woman who grew up, like, Mormon in Idaho. And it's like the dad was completely, like, crazy, off the grid. Like, wouldn't let them go to school and let them do anything. And it's just her childhood. But it's so well written. It's like, she's such a good writer. Kill buddies with Ryan Hamilton. That's how I heard about it.

[Samuel Elliott]

Nice. It's a memoir. I like memoirs.

[Freddy]

It's really good.

[Matt McCusker]

All right.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's awesome.

[Matt McCusker]

Is there a hook? Like, does she come out on top as a.

[Freddy]

Well, clearly she's out.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

I mean, you know, she's writing about it, so.

[Matt McCusker]

Cool.

[Samuel Elliott]

So she escaped Mormonism, you're saying?

[Freddy]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Whoa.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's pretty cool.

[Freddy]

But it's just, like, crazy stories. They wouldn't let you go to the doctor.

[Samuel Elliott]

She's got a boyfriend.

[Freddy]

Her brother within a. Was in a car crash, and his teeth were, like, up, like, here. And they were like, you can't go to a damn. And the mom was in the same crash, and the mom is kind of up from it. And they kept thinking she was getting better, but they like, no doctor. The dad's like, if she's meant to be better, God will see to it. And then she became into, like, healing.

[Samuel Elliott]

And all this weird.

[Freddy]

It's a crazy. Then the first older brother gets out and he's going to college. So she's kind of hearing about it. Dad's like, college is bad. But she's like, you know, you're a kid, you don't know who to trust. It's. Yeah, it's just really well written. It's just. It's compelling.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, I like a good. That's good.

[Matt McCusker]

I got a peeve.

[Freddy]

Please, hit me.

[Matt McCusker]

All right, all right. Two of them. You ever have this guy? He goes, what do you think of John Martin? I go, I don't know him. You don't know John Martin? That's why I said, I don't know him. You don't know him or you go, it's the same guy? He goes, oh, I'm out of cash. You got any cash? I have no cash. You have no cash? Yes. I said no cash. So you don't have any cash at all? That's with no cash dishes. So. I hate that guy.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. They're putting their problem on you.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

Like, how dare you?

[Matt McCusker]

Right. And the doubling down of it all.

[Samuel Elliott]

Oh, that's so funny.

[Matt McCusker]

Now this one's real. A real. This guy's a real piece. I love this guy. So I'm trying to start Playing tennis. I got, I got a racket. I have courts by my house, but it's old school. You got to sign up on a booklet on the fence and the people get there at 5am yeah, so I try to wake up early. I got up at 8, which is early for me. I ran out to the sign up sheet and I couldn't find it. And I see people playing tennis and I was like, where the hell's that sign up sheet? And the guy goes, dude, you missed it. It's all filled up. And I'm like, okay, well where is it? So I know for next time. He goes, it's full, but let me just know where it is so I can sign up. He goes, I'm trying to tell you, you're not going to get on the court today. The whole sheet's full. And I'm like, well, where is the sheet? He goes, it's full.

[Samuel Elliott]

I'm like, I know it's full, but where is it?

[Matt McCusker]

Is it.

[Samuel Elliott]

So we went back and forth for 20 minutes.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know where the sheet is, dude.

[Freddy]

Damn. And you, and you woke up early. You're proud of yourself.

[Matt McCusker]

I had the racket in hand, I had a hot outfit on. Ah, short shorts.

[Freddy]

Play with your wife or solo? What do you do?

[Matt McCusker]

No, I'd rather play with a wall. But no, no, I got. Me and Ruby go out there.

[Freddy]

Oh wow, that's awesome.

[Matt McCusker]

But I was like, I'll get the sign up. Cuz I wake up early, I got a baby and the guy yelled at me.

[Samuel Elliott]

Oh dude, I, I had a, a scaled down version of that recently. I brought, I have two dogs and I brought them to like a little like, you know, it's like a field where it's like kind of like an impromptu dog park thing. And I like my one dog's like losing his vision and like I watch him walk into stuff in my house. Like he's going blind. I, I can verify, you know, it's like I verified this through my own experience sitting there at the dog park. I'm like, he's walking around, walking along, he walks towards this guy and I'm like, oh, you know he's blind. Carefully might walk into you. And the guy goes, he doesn't look blind to me. He's getting around pretty good. I'm like, well no, like I watch him walk into stuff all the time. And he's like, well, how'd that happen? I was like, you know, I don't know man. I know like one time he ate like 14 chocolate cupcakes. It was like my one daughter's birthday, and he just crushed a bunch of chocolate cupcakes. And I was like. I asked the vet, and the vet said, it's not even about the chocolate, but the sugar from all of that can do, like, a. Some sort of diabetic thing. And maybe that messed up his vision. The guy goes, I got diabetes. Doesn't work that way. And I had. I had to just be like, all right, man, I'm leaving. Like, sit here and argue. Like, my dog is up. I'm with him every day.

[Freddy]

And you're condescending doctors. Pretty annoying.

[Samuel Elliott]

He wasn't even a doctor.

[Freddy]

Oh, yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

This game was just a guy. He was just like, he had diabetes.

[Freddy]

Apparently, or knew someone for some reason.

[Samuel Elliott]

No, he was just kind of like, that's crazy.

[Freddy]

That's crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Just negate guy. Just negating everything.

[Samuel Elliott]

Doesn't look blind to me.

[Freddy]

It's like, yeah, that's even worse.

[Samuel Elliott]

I just watched him walk into a concrete picnic table, dude. Like, he's definitely blind.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Does he get fucked up? Like, it hit his nose all the time now?

[Samuel Elliott]

Like, I. I can now he listens, though. He knows. Never listened before. Now if I'm like, whoa, whoa. He's like. He stops and I can kind of.

[Matt McCusker]

It's kind of nice.

[Samuel Elliott]

It's kind of nice.

[Matt McCusker]

You're a dog whisperer. Damn. Dog whisper. Another guy who got divorced, by the way. Once again, ladies, you're inconceivable.

[Samuel Elliott]

They initiate. Women initiate. I think, like, 75% of divorces.

[Matt McCusker]

That's what I heard, too. That's why lesbian is number one.

[Samuel Elliott]

Oh, they get divorced hard, man. Yeah, that's. I mean, that's a. You know, forget about it. That's a truck with no brakes right there.

[Matt McCusker]

Also, you gotta think the periods are sinking. Oh, can I get double period in one home?

[Freddy]

Yeah. Neither one of you is holding back on those fists.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yep. And, you know, at that point, too, it's. If it's double period, there's no one there to be like, hey, well, this isn't really a big. You know, this isn't a real problem. This is.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, you need the cushion guy who's, like, takes the blows. Now it's just two. Two big cascading waves of blood.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, that's. That could be tough. Hey, that would be tough, man.

[Matt McCusker]

It's like the Shining in there. There.

[Samuel Elliott]

Totally.

[Matt McCusker]

Sorry.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Quick peeve, if it's okay.

[Matt McCusker]

Yes.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Overacting in shower sex scenes.

[Freddy]

Wow.

[Samuel Elliott]

You're talking about porno.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

No, no, I'm just talking in movies. In movies, like you would see in a theater. Like, they're the.

[Freddy]

Wait. Shower sex scenes.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. People have sex in the shower in.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Movies, and they're like, oh, I think they're grabbing, like, the side of the wall.

[Matt McCusker]

That's not how it goes. Goes. Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

If you have sex in the shower.

[Matt McCusker]

Nothing like that.

[Freddy]

Yeah. One of you is just annoyed that the other one's wet and you're not.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

You know, I. I was. I thought you were saying overacting in porn, which. That annoys me. When the dude's, like, hamming it up too much. I'm like, all right, You're.

[Matt McCusker]

You're not why we're here.

[Freddy]

Why don't you settle down?

[Matt McCusker]

And why are you showing the guy's face? And the guy's like, all right, all right. We're both making the same face.

[Freddy]

The porn guy. The porn guy who wanted to be like Jerry Lewis.

[Samuel Elliott]

And you're like, jesus Christ, I'm trying.

[Freddy]

To jerk off here. He's ruining it.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

By the way, fun fact. I saw a study on this. What is the female body part that is observed the most in porn?

[Samuel Elliott]

I would say the feet or the eyes.

[Freddy]

I would say the face.

[Matt McCusker]

Interested? The face.

[Samuel Elliott]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Because you want to know how she is reacting to.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

So you think tits. Vagina. But.

[Freddy]

So if anything, we're good guys.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

Washing it. We True.

[Samuel Elliott]

Your face.

[Matt McCusker]

I like it.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Freddy]

We're good people.

[Matt McCusker]

We're just waiting for that jizz to hit it.

[Freddy]

All right, we got some.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

Plug some dates come. But first, I've watched Matt's new special on Netflix.

[Matt McCusker]

Hell, yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

Humble offering. It was. Yeah, it was cool. It's cool to make. I'm excited it's coming out.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Samuel Elliott]

And, yeah, I'll be in Buffalo, New York, October 17th. And then Bricktown. I'll be in Tulsa. The Naples, Florida. Madison, Wisconsin. And the Blue Room in Springfield, Missouri, Matt McCusker dot com. So, yeah, I'm excited.

[Matt McCusker]

Have you done math? Madison.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yes. I love that. Their green room is the best.

[Matt McCusker]

The best.

[Samuel Elliott]

Yeah, I love that.

[Matt McCusker]

The best, Jerry. All right, what do you got, Freddy?

[Freddy]

Barcelona, Milan, Dublin, Liverpool, London, Paris.

[Samuel Elliott]

Damn.

[Freddy]

Amsterdam, Berlin. And the second time this year, Salt Lake City. Wise guys. Seconds. I love that. I Love that spot. November 14th through 16th. Reno, Nevada, November 29th. And then Carnegie Hall, December 4th. Please come out today.

[Samuel Elliott]

That's awesome.

[Matt McCusker]

Samuel Elliott, back down. All right. Hey, we are going to. I don't know when this comes out. Oh. Athens, Greece, baby. Oslo, Helsinki, Stockholm. I got Dublin the night before you.

[Freddy]

God damn it.

[Matt McCusker]

So I'm stealing those tickets.

[Freddy]

Chips in the night.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, you are, but you've never been.

[Freddy]

I've been to Dublin.

[Matt McCusker]

Ah, you've been there.

[Freddy]

Now you'll crush me.

[Matt McCusker]

Nah, my tickets aren't going right.

[Samuel Elliott]

I like Ubis.

[Matt McCusker]

I do too.

[Freddy]

It's good to hear, but I was blaming anti Semitism, so it's not great to hear.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah. Magoobies in Baltimore area, Washington D.C. chocolate City, the Lincoln Theater, Rochester, Kodak Center, Niagara Falls with the. That's on the Ontario side, the good side. And then San Diego and Prior Lake, Minnesota outside of Minneapolis for the casino. And I'm adding more dates and hopefully we'll sell this special. Get some bodega.

[Freddy]

For sure. Get the bodega cat. Bodaycatwhiskey.com See you next week, guys. Thank you.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeehaw.

[Samuel Elliott]

Thank you, guys. I've had a little too much burping and Norman's talking shit about the fucking post.

[Matt McCusker]

And I get down in the same.

[Samuel Elliott]

Way up on the roof like the cops coming.

[Matt McCusker]

And naked Samuel is be living dangerous.

[Samuel Elliott]

I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans. This woman doesn't look like I remember her. And I get down in the same way. We might be training.