Ep 256: Can You Tell Me How to Get… to the Bar?

Summary

We Might Be Drunk — Ep 256: "Can You Tell Me How to Get… to the Bar?"

Date: October 27, 2025
Hosts: Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Guests: Tom Segura, Shane Gillis, Chris Distefano, Sal Vulcano, Gary Veeder, Emilio

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Overview

This Halloween-themed We Might Be Drunk episode brings together NYC comedic heavyweights—along with guest Tom Segura—for a lively, unfiltered roundtable of irreverence. The crew dons costumes (Bert and Ernie heads make an appearance), passes around syringes of "Bloody Manhattans," and plunges into nostalgia, pop culture, the business of children's entertainment, parenthood, notorious NYC steakhouse tales, and rowdy movie recommendations. Everything is on the table: from Blippi's scandalous past, to lamenting legacies of Sesame Place, to dissecting diner culture and debating New York's best Italian spots.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Halloween Antics & Costumes [00:06–05:00]

• Opening Banter: The group dives in dressed up for Halloween, joking about the cumbersome costumes and sipping pre-made Manhattans from syringes.

• Sesame Street Nostalgia: The talk quickly turns to memories of Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers' documentary, and a humorous speculation on the private lives of childhood TV icons.

  Quote:

  “I picture Mr. Rogers coming home... his kids are like, 'It's not the same, dad. We're not making believe here.'”
  — Tom Segura [02:37]

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2. Children’s Shows, YouTube, & the Business of Views [03:33–10:40]

• Cocomelon & Modern Kids' Programming: The gang laments the addictive nature of new kids' shows (Cocomelon, Blippi, unboxing videos) and how these create instant, bankable content empires.

• The Money in Kids' Content: Jaws drop at Cocomelon’s 600M+ views, with comparisons to the reach of their own projects.

  Quotes:

  “48 million from five months ago… that’s more than the Brady Rose!”
  — Shane Gillis [05:28]

  “Every view is one parent going, ‘I can't take this anymore. Watch the Cocomelon, you dirty…’"
  — Shane Gillis [05:00]

• Blippi’s Infamous Origins: The crew relives Blippi’s viral past, discussing the notorious “Harlem Shake” video where the original Blippi defecated on his friend for views, and how he went on to create a $100M kids media empire despite this.

  Quote:

  “The way he shits on his friend is unreal... It shoots out like an explosion—almost like a paint... it looks CGI, but it’s not!”
  — Tom Segura [07:13]

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3. Parenting, Privacy & The Internet Age [09:48–16:28]

• Parenting in Public: The group discusses whether to obscure their kids’ faces on social media, the invasion of privacy, and how accessible personal info is online.

• Chris Distefano shares being robbed and stalked: Social media info made his address easy to find; crowd discusses the general perils of overexposure.

  Quote:

  “I show him fully nude—put the thing over his beer...”
  — Sal Vulcano [14:55, joking about privacy practices]

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4. Candies, Toys, & Pop Culture Throwbacks [19:36–23:44]

• Halloween Candy Debate: Nostalgic rundown of favorite candies for Halloween, disdain for candy corn, and everyone’s movie theater go-tos.

• Toys of the ‘80s and ‘90s: Talk shifts to Tickle Me Elmo, Cabbage Patch Kids, My Buddy dolls, and the uncanny creepiness of Teddy Ruxpin-type talking toys.

• Dolls to Trauma: Jokes about the origins of Chucky (Child’s Play) being inspired by "My Buddy" doll, and Tom shares a chilling (and comedic) tale about a toy talking when it shouldn't have.

  Quote:

  “One time it started talking—no cassette in there… started saying something we never heard before. Like, ‘The Jews will not replace us!’”
  — Tom Segura [21:42, clearly in-jest]

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5. Theme Parks & Family Outings [22:48–24:22]

• Sesame Place Disappointment: Sal and others groan about how lackluster Sesame Place is compared to Legoland and better water parks.
• Lazy Rivers & Parenting: Vacation mishaps and highlights: Shane gets drunk and drops his baby at Atlantis while trying to manage vacation dad duties; Tom praises the Bahamas' superior lazy river.

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6. New York Eats—Restaurant War Stories [50:00–59:40]

• BALATO Italian Saga: The group revisits a now-infamous, astronomically-expensive group dinner at Emilio’s Ballato in NYC. The bill exceeds $5,200, largely due to high-priced drinks and per-head charges. The story becomes a running punchline, symbolizing both inflated NYC pricing and restaurants' attitudes.

  Notable Moment:
  Group studies the receipt, shocked at $160 single drinks and water costing north of $100.

  Quote:

  “It’s the drinks where they got you… every drink was $25 or higher, $65 for that class [tequila]… they should call that out before they bring it over.”
  — Tom Segura [57:21]

• NYC Steakhouse Opinions: Hot takes on Peter Luger (“not that impressed”) and strip house being a top pick. The ‘service vs food’ debate: does rude service kill a meal if the food is excellent?

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7. Movies, Spoofs, & 90s Cinema [34:00–45:30+]

• Favorite Movie Spoofs: The gang name-checks Naked Gun and High School High, marvels over the resilience of moviegoers and candy traditions.
• DiCaprio, Benicio, and REAL Comedies: Discussion on the merits of seeing films in theaters, impact of long runtimes, and the new phenomenon of “4D” movie seats (water spray, shaking during action scenes).
• Sticky-Gloves Nostalgia for 80’s/90’s Commercials: Tom waxes poetic about the branding power of old TV ads and argues for companies to bring back classic commercial campaigns.

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8. Pop-Culture Deep Dives & Viral Clips [66:39–79:59]

• Liam Neeson Action Flicks & Their Clones: Speculation on why older stars do endless action movies—ego, relevance, and "staying fuckable."

• Instant Karma Videos and Viral Lawnmower Kids: The group watches and riffs on viral movie clips that circulate online, including a foul-mouthed kid from "Mean Creek" and cringe 80s rap musical numbers (“Top That!”).

  Quote:

  “A little kid being that hateful is insane. It’s kind of shocking.”
  — Chris Distefano [75:25]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Audience Tastes:

  “Kids don’t watch... it’s all YouTube, Bluey… We Might Be Drunk…”
  — Sal Vulcano [04:01]

• On Social Media & Family:

  “What’s the worst that could happen? And then they kidnap…”
  — Chris Distefano [15:08]

• On 80s Commercials:

  “Do you ever go on YouTube and watch 80s commercial compilations?… You’ll never remember them, and then you see them, you know every word.”
  — Tom Segura [46:01]

• On Blippi & Redemption:

  “If Blippi can come back, they [Ballato’s] can come back.”
  — Shane Gillis [59:01]

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Recommended Timestamps for Key Segments

• Sesame Street & Mr. Rogers Discussion: 00:29–03:37
• Children’s Shows & YouTube Culture: 04:48–07:41
• Blippi’s Viral Origins Dived Into: 06:38–09:41
• BALLATO Italian Bill Breakdown Drama: 50:07–54:10
• Candy & Movie Snack Wars: 43:00–45:47
• Retro Commercials & ‘Taste Buds’ Podcast: 46:08–47:06
• High School Fights & Instant Karma Vids: 70:20–73:36

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Final Thoughts & Tone

The episode is a gleeful free-for-all, blending genuine nostalgia, abrasive New York energy, and sharp contemporary insight. The comics riff on everything—parenting online, retro toys, bad service, and the curse of being both famous and recognized at high-profile restaurants. The energy is fast, punchy, and relentlessly self-aware. The tone shifts fluidly between crass humor, honest reflection on celebrity parenting, and sharp-eyed takes on generational pop culture.

Closing Vibe:
“It’s a scary Halloween. You ever just want candy and instead get a $5,000 check and a viral video of your worst moment? Welcome to adulthood.”
— We Might Be Drunk, Ep 256

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Road & Project Plugs (81:00–end)

• Tom Segura: Chicago Theater, Atlantic City, Beacon Theater, new talk-show pod "Manouche"
• Sal Vulcano: Pittsburgh, Oregon, Cincinnati/Liberty Township, opening for various comics
• Shane Gillis: Magoobies, Lincoln Theater (DC), Rochester’s Kodak Center, San Diego, Prior Lake, and December arena dates
• Chris Distefano: Salt Lake City, Reno, Carnegie Hall

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For First-Time Listeners

This episode delivers everything that makes We Might Be Drunk a favorite: wild stories, inside baseball on comedy and content, deep New York roots, and the knowledge that a dinner with this crew is risky (for your wallet and your dignity). Their sharp, relentless ribbing is matched only by remarkable self-deprecation and the absurdity of grown men discussing M&M commercials for several minutes straight.

Skip:

• Ads (40:20–41:36, 41:36–42:44)
• Producer/plug sections (after 81:00, unless you want tour info)

Listen for:

• The full “BALATO’s Bill” breakdown — a classic!
• Raw and funny parenting confessions
• Wild detours into the pop culture underbelly
• The funniest analysis of viral kids’ YouTube and Blippi you’re likely to hear

Transcript

[Tom Segura]

Foreign.

[Shane Gillis]

Folks, here we are. We might be drunk. Happy Halloween.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a big one, folks.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Take these off because this is a lot.

[Tom Segura]

Can somebody say big?

[Sal Vulcano]

All right. Hell yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Gary Veeder and Sal Volcano joining us. Feels good.

[Shane Gillis]

And we even.

[Chris Distefano]

We have some pre made Manhattans here in syringes by Matt Peters for Halloween.

[Shane Gillis]

Bloody Manhattan.

[Tom Segura]

I like it. I wasn't gonna drink, but I will.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Do we just take it like this?

[Shane Gillis]

Like.

[Tom Segura]

Are you going in? Immediately.

[Emilio]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

These are not bad. Pretty good.

[Tom Segura]

That gets locked into the costume.

[Shane Gillis]

One fart.

[Chris Distefano]

It works.

[Shane Gillis]

Hey, look at this piece. Get in the frame.

[Tom Segura]

Oh yeah baby, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh yeah, you're going.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, oh, there you go.

[Shane Gillis]

Are you garden?

[Chris Distefano]

It's good with all this candy. I can use this for Ozempic after the.

[Tom Segura]

What's that little worm's name on his. Oh, is it Worm? Yeah, that little guy. The guy that always kind of squeaks out. What's his name?

[Chris Distefano]

I don't know.

[Tom Segura]

Is it Ross? Roscoe.

[Shane Gillis]

Roscoe. I don't remember the word.

[Sal Vulcano]

I don't think there was.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, the worm would come out and talk to him.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't remember.

[Tom Segura]

The worm has a name. Slimy.

[Chris Distefano]

His Children of Sesame Street. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Loved it.

[Chris Distefano]

I was too.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, that Mr. Rogers.

[Sal Vulcano]

Sure, I want Mr. Rogers.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh yeah, that guy. He could have had any kid he wanted with that charm.

[Shane Gillis]

Do it though. The whole documentary. Like, here it comes. Sweater off, he's getting ready.

[Chris Distefano]

But he was a good man.

[Shane Gillis]

He was.

[Chris Distefano]

Swam laps.

[Tom Segura]

The doc or the Tom Hanks vehicle?

[Chris Distefano]

The doc didn't see the.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, I didn't see it pretty good but nonetheless I feel like I should have. I respect the man as a hero.

[Shane Gillis]

Fred Rogers. All those kids hated him. Ironically. Really? Yeah, they were like he was never home. He, he, he with all the other kids.

[Tom Segura]

Oh wow. His kids hated him. That's in the dock.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Ah, like he didn't read to us, I'll tell you that.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow, weird when it goes the other way. Apparently. John Wayne Gacy, great husband.

[Shane Gillis]

Is that right?

[Chris Distefano]

Always scheduled date night. Better than you, Gary. I mean it's crazy. Kids, kids love.

[Tom Segura]

Always clowning around.

[Shane Gillis]

He never kills. Yeah, that's good. You're very good.

[Chris Distefano]

Right before, right before Gary came on, he said. He said, I can never be on camera with you without you making me dress up something.

[Sal Vulcano]

I know it's this or the Gimp and the. Sure, I'll wear this again.

[Tom Segura]

I picture Mr. Rogers coming home and then coming in the house taking off his coffee and be like, it's a beaut. And just save it, dad.

[Chris Distefano]

Just.

[Tom Segura]

All right, that doesn't work here.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay?

[Tom Segura]

This is not the. We're not making believe here. Okay.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

How about it's real life, dad, right?

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, look at this. It's Gary's first abortion. There you go.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, I was looking at the screen.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, no.

[Tom Segura]

I was like. Your first abortion was Elvis and Richard Nixon.

[Shane Gillis]

Give me one of these.

[Chris Distefano]

They're good, man. You got to take one of those. That's right. Take it down.

[Tom Segura]

So the. The Bert and Ernie heads are off now.

[Sal Vulcano]

Now it's just.

[Shane Gillis]

I couldn't drink through it. All right, all right, all right. You got a hole at least.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I got the hole.

[Sal Vulcano]

You got to be happy.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, this is. I can go skiing in this thing. Make no mistake, this is insulated. I got to be honest. Damn well, I'm gonna commit to it.

[Shane Gillis]

I appreciate it.

[Tom Segura]

We'll see what happens.

[Chris Distefano]

We could have had a Cookie Monster in here. That was a fuck. He was a fucking stud on that show.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Derosa would be great, because he's already addicted anyway. Other things.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah, he's still going. They're all still going. This is. They still make new episodes, are they? Oh, yeah, of course. What, at Sesame Street?

[Chris Distefano]

Are they really?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. 100 full production. Never stopped.

[Shane Gillis]

Damn. You sure about that?

[Tom Segura]

I'm sure. I watch it.

[Chris Distefano]

Big kid shows. A Rugrats.

[Sal Vulcano]

But kids don't watch. They watch. It's all YouTube Bluey. They watch. They watch. We might be drunk.

[Tom Segura]

You should do a kids episode.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, God.

[Tom Segura]

Just G material. Juice boxes.

[Shane Gillis]

That's gonna be challenging.

[Tom Segura]

It's like the one crossover app for the. For the kids. For the children. Hey, you start with a fart, you can still do it. So do a lot of your best work.

[Shane Gillis]

That's true. Talk me into it.

[Chris Distefano]

Kids do like the farts.

[Shane Gillis]

What about Coco Melon? I heard that's bad news for kids.

[Tom Segura]

I think that's like brainwashing them.

[Shane Gillis]

It rots their brain because it's so fast and. And low brow.

[Sal Vulcano]

There's way worse stuff, though. They have unboxing videos, too. But Cocomelon is. I mean, I guess it's bad. It's all bad. None of it's actually a full on, like, show.

[Tom Segura]

Cookie Monster is an addict, though, right?

[Shane Gillis]

That's what I do. I put them on Derosa. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

But you know what's funny? If you watch these shows on YouTube, just pull up some of the numbers. Coco Melon unboxing or whatever. Dora.

[Chris Distefano]

Huge billions.

[Shane Gillis]

And that's Every view is one parent going, I can't take this anymore. Watch the cocoa melon, you dirty.

[Tom Segura]

It's probably the fastest way to becoming wealthy.

[Sal Vulcano]

Let's see.

[Chris Distefano]

Children's.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, absolutely.

[Tom Segura]

Because it doesn't matter about the replays. It's like they use it as a parenting. As parenting help.

[Sal Vulcano]

They also rip off cocomelo and other. Other places, of course. So.

[Tom Segura]

And kids, once they like their favorite thing, they want to watch it eight time.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

So that's it. The Google AdSense money is just raining in.

[Shane Gillis]

48 million from five months ago.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

More than the Brady Rose.

[Shane Gillis]

Like Gillis is special.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yes.

[Shane Gillis]

Which I think is similar, by the way. I think it's in the 30 millions.

[Emilio]

Really?

[Shane Gillis]

I think.

[Tom Segura]

I think once you hit that level, it's just gonna never not be fed.

[Shane Gillis]

Good point.

[Tom Segura]

It's an avalanche.

[Shane Gillis]

You're in the algo.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. That's a good point.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

The guy go virals. Go viral 47.

[Sal Vulcano]

Wow.

[Shane Gillis]

That's close.

[Sal Vulcano]

Four years ago.

[Shane Gillis]

Four years ago.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Nobody said Gillis was Coco Melon.

[Sal Vulcano]

Cocomelon's doing better than Shane.

[Shane Gillis]

That's new stuff.

[Emilio]

Oh, look at this one. 630 million.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, holy crap. God.

[Tom Segura]

That's right when they moved to Austin.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes. Wow. Damn. 611 mil. That's like the Holocaust. Yeah. No way.

[Tom Segura]

600 coco.

[Shane Gillis]

That's way more.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Nobody said cocoa melon either.

[Emilio]

Real.

[Shane Gillis]

All right.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm taking another syringe here, buddy.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Should I join? So try not to.

[Sal Vulcano]

As far as kids TV goes though, Blippi is another big one. And he used to be a comic. Do you know about this? Blippi? But he defecated.

[Tom Segura]

He on his friend.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah, he on his friend.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Wait, we all shit on our friends?

[Tom Segura]

No, you did.

[Shane Gillis]

Literally.

[Tom Segura]

Literally. You got to see the video. I've seen it.

[Shane Gillis]

And what?

[Tom Segura]

It's a must see. It's available.

[Sal Vulcano]

This guy.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, this is.

[Sal Vulcano]

This is the guy that took over for him. He pooped.

[Tom Segura]

No, no, that's the guy that shit.

[Sal Vulcano]

That's the guy that.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's the guy that shit.

[Shane Gillis]

I guess I'm tapped in future.

[Tom Segura]

I'm tapped in here. It was during that like Harlem Shuffle era.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

And he did it to that music and it was like. It wasn't like a video that you had to unearth, was it? He did it for views.

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And. But the thing is, the way he shits on his friend is unreal. The guy is laying on the floor waiting to accept it as you do.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Tom Segura]

If you're a good friend.

[Chris Distefano]

Once you make that agreement with the.

[Tom Segura]

Devil, he shits, and it shoots out of him like a. Like an explosion. Like, almost like a paint. Like, it's. It splatters, but it's real. And it splatters in a way that, like, you couldn't have done it. It looks like it's cgi. It's not. His friend accepts it, and then they just, like, sit there and, like, dance a little.

[Shane Gillis]

That's it.

[Tom Segura]

That's it. Yeah. No, that's. No, that's not it. That's. That looks like what it is.

[Shane Gillis]

Full of blippy.

[Chris Distefano]

Gary, we are going to have to up the ante on morning TV at some point.

[Sal Vulcano]

I know. I'll do it. I just wear a toilet on me. Ally's like, come on, G, you're embarrassing the family.

[Chris Distefano]

It's moving tickets.

[Sal Vulcano]

We did one in Alabama, by the way.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, my God.

[Sal Vulcano]

And the lady's like. And wait, you're telling me that you have a wife and kids at home?

[Shane Gillis]

After.

[Sal Vulcano]

I, like. I dressed as a G. I was like, sam. I mean, I guess that was a point.

[Chris Distefano]

We were in. We were in, like, the sticks in Alabama. And I was like, dude, this will be hilarious. Gary's gonna put a gimp mask on mid video. And we walk in, and everyone in there is like, a real man's man. The flannel. And I'm like, this could get messy, dude. Yeah, this could get bad. And we did it, and we couldn't. I couldn't keep a straight face because Gary just went all in.

[Sal Vulcano]

They were. They were pissed.

[Chris Distefano]

We were, like, 30 minutes outside of Birmingham. But it was. But it was.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, that's right. We were outside Birmingham.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. We had shows, and they were not.

[Tom Segura]

This is it. Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

By the way, this guy, I think he's worth a hundred million dollars.

[Tom Segura]

He's worth 100 million, this guy. After this, he created a children's show and sold it for 100 million.

[Shane Gillis]

Damn. So he sold the show after this?

[Sal Vulcano]

Yes.

[Shane Gillis]

That's impressive.

[Tom Segura]

And people know about this, and he's fine. No, no big deal. I mean, he wasn't trying to hide it. I think it was just. That's not a normal.

[Sal Vulcano]

That's amazing.

[Tom Segura]

That's full on diarrhea.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, man.

[Sal Vulcano]

He's in his ass.

[Tom Segura]

That's crazy.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, God. What do we do?

[Tom Segura]

Why, my daughter requests this man every morning.

[Sal Vulcano]

Happy Halloween.

[Chris Distefano]

Weirdly, she requests this video, which is.

[Shane Gillis]

God. All right, we got it. We got it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. We don't need the replay. This is like when they do the replays on sports and someone has a comp fracture. Like, we got it. We got it.

[Shane Gillis]

We don't need to see. There goes the candy I was craving.

[Chris Distefano]

I still want the candy.

[Tom Segura]

Anyone can overcome anything, really.

[Shane Gillis]

I guess so. Yeah, totally. How did we get here? We started. It's a kid show. Hey, Blippi. And then you got to pull that up.

[Sal Vulcano]

Things get crazy.

[Chris Distefano]

This is the time of year you. You start seeing the candy early in the year. Like, I don't know, like early September at Walgreens. You're like, yeah, it's coming.

[Shane Gillis]

It's coming, baby.

[Tom Segura]

Pounds of bags.

[Shane Gillis]

I already bought the pumpkins. I got them on my porch. I got the candy at home. I'm pumped. I got a new baby, so I'm trick or treating.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Are you. Are you gonna go out and walk around? Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

My neighborhood's very residential Brooklyn.

[Tom Segura]

And, you know, you're gonna leave a.

[Chris Distefano]

Bowl, you gotta do everything.

[Shane Gillis]

I'll be doing everything.

[Chris Distefano]

Are you. Who are you dressing the kids as this year?

[Sal Vulcano]

Sully's going as a ninja. Tyson's going as a vampire, and then the baby. By the way, I have three kids. It's not good.

[Chris Distefano]

And you should have made one of them at Borders Feet.

[Sal Vulcano]

And then Lottie, she's going as Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, wow. That's a nice.

[Sal Vulcano]

That'd be Jack Skellington.

[Chris Distefano]

I love it.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, you are.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, nice, Sally.

[Tom Segura]

What about you?

[Shane Gillis]

I got, well, the kids little with the three hairs, so I went with Charlie Brown.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, nice. Yeah, that's good.

[Shane Gillis]

Pretty traditional. Easy.

[Tom Segura]

You're obviously Pig Pen.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I'm Pig Pen in that equation.

[Tom Segura]

You got the natural. You know, the natural haze around.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You have two kids, right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I got a. I'm going as right now. Unless she shifts because she's been talking, which. But she. She came out of the gate with Kevin McAllister, and. And then me and my wife were going to be Marvin. Harry. We don't know what, you know, to do with the. With the remaining child.

[Sal Vulcano]

Leave him home alone.

[Shane Gillis]

Girlfriend. Wolf. Hey, Wolf. Tarantula. Pesci is the cop.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, a double Pesci.

[Sal Vulcano]

A double double Pesci. Interesting.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's because he gets. Then he do a gold tooth.

[Chris Distefano]

Pesci was on a run.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, my God.

[Chris Distefano]

Home Alone. Goodfellas in my cousin, like, back. Yeah, Casino.

[Emilio]

I think Casino and Home Alone are the same year.

[Chris Distefano]

Crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Talk about range.

[Sal Vulcano]

My cousin Vinny is on. I mean, he's on top.

[Chris Distefano]

Top all time comedies and Marissa Tomei.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, and especially in that. Especially in that movie. And that movie is unreal.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh my God.

[Tom Segura]

I saw a video recently of someone like, ran into Joe Pesci at like a restaurant and they put it online, like on. And he's nearly unrecognizable.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, I don't know.

[Chris Distefano]

Getting old, dude.

[Tom Segura]

It was kind of wild. They were like, people like, this is Joe Pesci. People like, that's not Joe Pesci. It was him.

[Chris Distefano]

Why? Because he thin.

[Tom Segura]

No, it just. It just looked. That's not.

[Chris Distefano]

That's a weird go.

[Tom Segura]

That's definitely not recent. I'm telling you, this guy. This.

[Sal Vulcano]

It's even. Yeah, that. Even.

[Shane Gillis]

That's not.

[Chris Distefano]

That goatee makes him look like he's like a cousin of Danny Trejo or something.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It was like, I think he sang or something. He stood up in his chair and sang at a restaurant. Even. That looks like him. This was like. I just was like, oh my God, I can't believe that.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, that's the thing is now he never wanted to be an actor. He wanted to be a singer.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

And acting just took off. He was in like a Jersey quartet.

[Chris Distefano]

Kind of like us, man. We wanted to be gay porn stars. But comedy just clicked.

[Shane Gillis]

I know. Well, Blippi took my move.

[Chris Distefano]

Pooping on your friend like that. Like that. First off, thank God that guy nailed that take, right?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Cuz you can't be like.

[Sal Vulcano]

As far as we know, he's like.

[Tom Segura]

He's like, they did it three. There's a third take. They did that three times? Yeah. No.

[Chris Distefano]

A little behind the scenes. The criterion edition of. Here it is with the director's commentary. Oh, I did not like when you all over me right there. But you know what? I stayed in the pocket.

[Shane Gillis]

Uhhuh.

[Tom Segura]

What's in it for the friend?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's how badly people want to be famous.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Like that guy. His high point is someone being like, you're the guy from the video.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

No chick is going to meet you.

[Sal Vulcano]

I think this is like early 2000s though, right? So even then you like, you didn't know if it was going to blow.

[Chris Distefano]

How was his voice?

[Tom Segura]

It's good. Wait, that doesn't sound good.

[Chris Distefano]

No, acting was the right call for sure.

[Shane Gillis]

Ye.

[Sal Vulcano]

I don't even believe that's him.

[Tom Segura]

That sounds way more of like a Frankie Valli. I wonder if that's his natural voice now.

[Chris Distefano]

He did Jersey Boys, right?

[Shane Gillis]

He produced. Oh, I didn't know that.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, the Broadway show.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, wow. Yeah, he can't sing.

[Chris Distefano]

Great actor, though.

[Shane Gillis]

Funny how. Yeah. You talk about the views. Have you heard the new trend? People having kids just for the views? I swear to God.

[Sal Vulcano]

How does that get your views up?

[Shane Gillis]

Well, because you go, hey, I'm pregnant.

[Sal Vulcano]

I got three. Please tell me properly.

[Shane Gillis]

You gotta do the whole pregnancy run, then the birth and then the hospital, and then the naming and the gender reveal.

[Tom Segura]

And so people are following, like, a real life family story. Is that what it is?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, it's just for the view. And then they go, what should we name them? And people vote in.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, God.

[Shane Gillis]

A whole new thing.

[Chris Distefano]

God, people are fine. We're doomed.

[Shane Gillis]

We're.

[Chris Distefano]

We're doomed as a species.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

I wouldn't even show my kid. You show yours.

[Chris Distefano]

I know.

[Sal Vulcano]

I was thinking about not doing it anymore.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, the cat's out of the bag, baby. Your kids, all of my wall.

[Chris Distefano]

Do you do this with the kid? I see some people put the baby emoji face over the baby pic because they're like, I don't want people to see my baby. Do you do that or.

[Shane Gillis]

No, I put my dates over his face. It's been working, but I usually show the back of them.

[Tom Segura]

I thought about it, but I haven't done it.

[Sal Vulcano]

I show him fully nude, put the.

[Tom Segura]

Thing over his beer.

[Sal Vulcano]

No, it does worry, you know, you're like, all right, you're posting this, but what could it be really useful? Just, I guess somebody just being like, oh, that's your kid.

[Chris Distefano]

And then they kidnap. Yeah. They couldn't take him away.

[Shane Gillis]

Thank you.

[Sal Vulcano]

What's the worst that could happen?

[Tom Segura]

Who are the people following it?

[Sal Vulcano]

I know.

[Tom Segura]

Like, there's better content out there.

[Shane Gillis]

I know. Is there?

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, dude, we just saw a guy get pooped on. Clearly, there's some good stuff out there.

[Shane Gillis]

People are scary, man. I. I had a. I got robbed and I was like, how the fuck will people know my address? And I got all these DMs, or people. Like, I googled it for six seconds and whoa. Address. So it's out there, Jerry, Your home. My old house, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, not. Not your house.

[Shane Gillis]

Not my new one. But I mean, if they could do.

[Chris Distefano]

It there, they could probably scrap it, but. Yeah, I remember I had a thing. I use this app community to get people like that. You can text me, whatever.

[Sal Vulcano]

And.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I use that for a minute. Yeah. And they started charging you.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. It's stupid, but. But then people. Someone just call my actual phone number. It's a different phone number than my actual number. And I was like, hello? And some guys. Yeah, I just found online. I was like, all right. I was like, God damn it.

[Tom Segura]

But wait, you think they robbed you or your home got robbed?

[Shane Gillis]

My home got robbed, but I was bitching about it. I go, how the. Who the hell got in my house? I mean, my address is not out there.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I see what you're saying.

[Shane Gillis]

And then people said, yes, it is.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, okay. So got you. So. But you don't think you were robbed by someone who knew your house? Okay, okay.

[Shane Gillis]

Although I had a. It was a couple theories because I would post like, hey, I'm. I'm out tonight doing this many shows. So somebody was like. Like, I bet a guy saw that, then he realized he could break in, but I don't believe it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, but that's you every night.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, exactly. He got. I got all my cash. That son of a bitch.

[Chris Distefano]

That was back when we had, like, a lot. But you got it. You gotta at some point deposit that, you know? I know, but I can't live like a drug dealer.

[Shane Gillis]

I had a cool drawer, though. I had a drawer full of cash, a slingshot, some shrooms, beauty photos.

[Emilio]

16 years old.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

That's why I keep all my money on me at all times.

[Shane Gillis]

How about the dummy wallet guy? He's got, like, a dummy wallet, a dummy phone, a dummy cigarette.

[Chris Distefano]

Here's my wallet. You open it, it lights on fire. The guy's like, oh, fuck.

[Tom Segura]

I came home one time off the bus from school, and there were cops at my house, and the door was knocked down and it was broken into. I lived at home with my family at the time, and my dad suspected it was our neighbor.

[Shane Gillis]

Whoa.

[Tom Segura]

They got into a little. Little disagreement about something. And then he said the guy was a spiteful guy, and he thinks he. He knew. When we weren't home, they came in and my room was ransacked. Whoa. So it was on the floor. They didn't take anything but cash and the cash out of my drawer.

[Shane Gillis]

How old were you?

[Tom Segura]

Probably, like, I would. My guess, 15.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh. It's very violating.

[Tom Segura]

It felt really weird. And after that, we got a rottweiler.

[Shane Gillis]

Whoa. Old school.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Damn. Well, that's pre ring camera. The ring camera changed the whole country.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Changed the game.

[Shane Gillis]

I mean, that'll be the first. That'll be the next TV show. It's like 2B and Paramount.

[Chris Distefano]

That was like. Speaking of horror, the movie Weapons. It's like the. The ring cam, the whole thing.

[Emilio]

My catalytic converter was stolen a couple days ago on My block and my car caught the thieves.

[Tom Segura]

No way. From your own car though.

[Emilio]

That's my own car.

[Sal Vulcano]

So your car recorded the camera?

[Tom Segura]

That's right.

[Shane Gillis]

I think that guy's an ice.

[Tom Segura]

And only if you would have only cleaned your windshield, you could identify him.

[Chris Distefano]

His friend lays in the car.

[Shane Gillis]

You can't use the squirter thing with the.

[Tom Segura]

He got a camera. But you got a 1 inch coating of dirt on that dude.

[Chris Distefano]

His friend lays in the car, the other guy just shits all over. Oh my God. Jesus the hell?

[Tom Segura]

Holy cow. Oh. So they didn't seal it because they saw.

[Emilio]

No, no, that's them getting away with it.

[Tom Segura]

The camera only get the license plate.

[Emilio]

The car shakes like this, the camera turns.

[Tom Segura]

So they had already cut out the catalytic converter.

[Emilio]

Yes, that's. They're getting away.

[Sal Vulcano]

What. How much you get for that anyway?

[Emilio]

I don't know what. They cost me 300 for a new one and then 300 to install it. So 600 bucks.

[Chris Distefano]

Shots.

[Shane Gillis]

Damn.

[Sal Vulcano]

Damn.

[Shane Gillis]

And that didn't help with the police at all.

[Emilio]

They didn't give a. Ah, they thought I did it.

[Tom Segura]

They got my sisters too.

[Shane Gillis]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Catalytic converts are a big thing.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

Wait, are they. Is it catalytic or Cadillac?

[Shane Gillis]

Catalytic.

[Tom Segura]

Catalytic.

[Sal Vulcano]

Okay.

[Shane Gillis]

So it stops the smog. Like you go to some countries, they don't require a catalytic converter. There's smog everywhere. Yeah, but.

[Tom Segura]

But I think this, I think this is long. Long. Like I don't think older cars only have catalytic converters.

[Emilio]

No, I know a. I have a 2005.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I think they stopped it right around there.

[Sal Vulcano]

That's why.

[Tom Segura]

Cuz her car is a 2003.

[Sal Vulcano]

So that's why I always keep my Cadillac converter on me.

[Tom Segura]

Hi, Elmo.

[Chris Distefano]

I do want to tickle him. I know.

[Shane Gillis]

Remember how big that was?

[Chris Distefano]

That was the biggest thing. Some of these, some of these toy trends. Remember the Tamagotchi?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

That was like. I'm trying to keep this alive.

[Tom Segura]

Little, little computer thing on your keychain. You have to feed it, change it, keep it alive.

[Sal Vulcano]

The Japanese keep it alive.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Sounds like a nuisance.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, I think so.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah. No, it was a full on baby.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Oh, weird.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, I got the Chinese one instead of. It was a girl. You don't keep it. So it's weird.

[Tom Segura]

Those were the ones that called caused brawls on like Black Friday and stuff like that. Tickle Me Elmo was hot. Yep.

[Sal Vulcano]

Tickle Me Elmo was big.

[Tom Segura]

Couldn't get it. Cabbage. Cabbage Patch Kids when we were little.

[Shane Gillis]

Yep.

[Tom Segura]

Remember, though? I mean, I'm a little older than you, gu. I think that was the one that was, like, people were going nuts. Garbage.

[Emilio]

Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

Cabbage Patch Kids. I had a My buddy doll. That was my sister.

[Shane Gillis]

What?

[Sal Vulcano]

Well, there's kid sister. Yeah, there was kid sister as well.

[Emilio]

Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

I just had my buddy.

[Shane Gillis]

My buddy became the cops. Go to of. Where'd he touch you? Because, look, it looks like a kid. So cops would have one.

[Sal Vulcano]

Well, he was a.

[Tom Segura]

That's the motivation with Chucky.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, is that right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Whoa. This thing did a lot of pull. Like, a lot of stuff.

[Sal Vulcano]

My dad used to just bring him, like, just have him, like, stick his head out with a knife, and then they'll just scare me.

[Tom Segura]

You rem the jingle?

[Shane Gillis]

No, my.

[Sal Vulcano]

My buddy and me. Yeah, Kid sister.

[Tom Segura]

My buddy.

[Shane Gillis]

I like how they just made him Irish. This kid's evil.

[Sal Vulcano]

It just looks like. Yeah. They give him the hair of the school shooter. Actually, both of them.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, it literally is the doll. It's like the same face.

[Chris Distefano]

Both those kids are gonna be like, gamers. Yeah, Both, like, gonna play Call of Duty too much. They're gonna be online. Okay.

[Tom Segura]

You remember like, a Teddy Ruxpin. Yeah, it was another version of that. It was a dog. Like a hound. I forgot what the name that it was. So it would work with a cassette tape in it, right?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And then my sister had it. And then one time it started talking. I swear to God. Started talking. No cassette tape in that. No cassette tape.

[Shane Gillis]

Whoa.

[Tom Segura]

To this day, we talk about it.

[Shane Gillis]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

And then it said a line that we had never heard before, like it wasn't in the repertoire.

[Chris Distefano]

The Jews will not replace us.

[Tom Segura]

And then we were like, what the hell? And we, like, looked, and there was no tape in there. Wow.

[Shane Gillis]

Come on.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I guess maybe there was. I'm assuming there was.

[Sal Vulcano]

How old were you?

[Shane Gillis]

38.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah. Yeah. Age matters in that.

[Chris Distefano]

Remember Russian Eve used to have that bit because I. I used to put weak batteries in my sister's Teddy Rugsman doll so it would die right in front of her.

[Shane Gillis]

No, I never heard that.

[Tom Segura]

That's funny.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a good bit.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm gonna try that with my vibrator. Guess you need me.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, the tables have turned.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I'll shake a little.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I'm the acoustic. That's bit.

[Tom Segura]

It's. It's Norman unplugged.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah. Remember that? A tell bit. He goes, what do you use? What kind of vibrator you use, ma'? Am? She goes, fingers. He goes, acoustic.

[Chris Distefano]

He's so good. So good a tell. We got to get him back. He's a guy who would have been a great pop in for this.

[Tom Segura]

What would he, what would he have dressed as today?

[Sal Vulcano]

Himself.

[Chris Distefano]

He'd be a good Oscar the Grass.

[Tom Segura]

Sell his, his, his costume.

[Sal Vulcano]

He would have been Oscar the grass.

[Shane Gillis]

You could be the Count.

[Tom Segura]

You could be a tell for Halloween. You just get the jazz, you know.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, by the way, we went to Sesame place over the summer. Biggest let.

[Shane Gillis]

Really Place.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's like the Langhorn. Langhorn.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

Langhorne. There's nothing there.

[Tom Segura]

It's been there since you were kids.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah, but it's terrible.

[Chris Distefano]

The.

[Sal Vulcano]

The rides are awful.

[Tom Segura]

They still have the lazy river.

[Sal Vulcano]

They do. They have that. But the water park's all spread out.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Sal Vulcano]

So you could go. But it's not even worth your time, really.

[Shane Gillis]

So you made the drive and it sucked.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, it's terrible.

[Chris Distefano]

Any highlights? Anything good?

[Sal Vulcano]

No, the food was terrible too.

[Shane Gillis]

What's the pedophile?

[Sal Vulcano]

I send it back.

[Tom Segura]

You go for the food. I heard, I heard Legoland is awesome.

[Sal Vulcano]

I heard it's great.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, really?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

The Sesame place sucks.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, I was gonna say, what's the pedo factor here? Like, how does this work? How do they know?

[Tom Segura]

I think they need a recharge. I haven't seen a commercial. I know. Who knows that even exists?

[Shane Gillis]

I didn't know it exists.

[Tom Segura]

And that's got a big brand behind it.

[Shane Gillis]

Big.

[Tom Segura]

They could probably do something.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, it looks like they have a water park thing there.

[Tom Segura]

They do.

[Sal Vulcano]

I mean. Yeah, they're showing you a good picture.

[Tom Segura]

I've been on that thing. Nieces.

[Shane Gillis]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I swear.

[Shane Gillis]

And you get a hotel and everything?

[Sal Vulcano]

No, we just drove and came back. Yeah, two hours.

[Tom Segura]

Things that fills up. It's like a bucket. It fills up and then every like 20 minutes it just dumps like. Like a water tower. Dumps on the children and like there's a lot of crying and everything.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah, there it is. There's that bucket.

[Shane Gillis]

That thing, man. Yeah. I went to the Bahamas and I stayed at a resort. It's all kids. It's horrible.

[Tom Segura]

Did you see that lazy river, though, I was telling you about that?

[Shane Gillis]

That was a great lazy river.

[Tom Segura]

I told you. Best I've ever seen that water.

[Sal Vulcano]

That water park's way better than this one.

[Shane Gillis]

One you've been.

[Emilio]

Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

Bob Mar.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So that's not where you went. You went to Atlantis.

[Shane Gillis]

Atlantis.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, you went to Atlantis?

[Shane Gillis]

Yes. Are you sure? No.

[Sal Vulcano]

You went to Bob. No, no.

[Tom Segura]

You went To Atlantis.

[Shane Gillis]

Drunk the whole time.

[Tom Segura]

You went to Atlantis?

[Shane Gillis]

But I'm such an idiot because it was my first time with a. With a baby on a vacation. So I just started drinking on the flight. And then my wife's like, what are you doing?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

We had to like, change his diaper. And I was like, oh, my God. So I was like dropping him. It was bad.

[Tom Segura]

Did you go in the lazy room?

[Chris Distefano]

I did.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. That was a fight.

[Tom Segura]

Started with that huge, like, huge, like tidal wave. And it pushes you all around.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Get off the. You don't have to get out of the tube.

[Shane Gillis]

It's great.

[Tom Segura]

Tube goes up.

[Sal Vulcano]

You could go back around.

[Chris Distefano]

Mark drops the baby, takes a on him.

[Shane Gillis]

Boy. The best. The best, though. Pull this up fatty again.

[Chris Distefano]

It's my fault for bringing it back.

[Shane Gillis]

Jesus Christ. God damn it. Blippy rake the victim.

[Chris Distefano]

How did that even start? Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

I'm sorry about that.

[Shane Gillis]

Reykjavik. Reykjavik.

[Emilio]

Good luck with that.

[Tom Segura]

Reykjavik.

[Chris Distefano]

Spelling.

[Emilio]

Good.

[Shane Gillis]

It's sick. I gotta go coolest places. But they have a mountain with. With a. Like a hot river. What do you call it? Lazy? No, Warm. Warm springs. Thank you. Hot spring. And there's a bar in it.

[Tom Segura]

This is Iceland.

[Shane Gillis]

Iceland?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

So the air is freezing cold. You look out into the ocean and there's a bar. You just swim up to there. It is nice.

[Chris Distefano]

It looks.

[Tom Segura]

You were there?

[Shane Gillis]

I was there. I did a gig there.

[Sal Vulcano]

I've seen pictures of this before. I see that.

[Tom Segura]

I immediately think, piss a lot of this.

[Chris Distefano]

You know what it's wor. Feel.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Natural springs.

[Sal Vulcano]

The water probably cleans it.

[Shane Gillis]

It's incredible.

[Chris Distefano]

You go to like. Like Oslo or one of these places and they just are like. Talk about like natural cold plunge. You're like, yeah, it's just freezing. You jump in.

[Shane Gillis]

Yep.

[Chris Distefano]

It's insane.

[Shane Gillis]

It's beautiful. They're better than us. It's clean. Look at that.

[Sal Vulcano]

Everything looks so clean.

[Shane Gillis]

Look at that song on the left.

[Chris Distefano]

But the women over there too, huh?

[Shane Gillis]

The women are crazy.

[Tom Segura]

Did you see any of those northern lights when you were there?

[Shane Gillis]

No. Miss the lights.

[Tom Segura]

Have any of you guys ever seen northern lights?

[Emilio]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Me neither. Always wanted to.

[Shane Gillis]

I did too.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Sounds cool, right?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Whole lot of sky is green.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it was. It was wrestling.

[Shane Gillis]

What about it?

[Chris Distefano]

We did a wrestling episode with Soder and Gillis and the WWE made us pull it down.

[Sal Vulcano]

Wow.

[Chris Distefano]

Because we were dressed as. I was like Bret Hart.

[Shane Gillis]

You were Hulk Hogan.

[Chris Distefano]

Hogan.

[Tom Segura]

They made you pull it down.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

But that's satire. It's costumes.

[Chris Distefano]

I don't even know.

[Tom Segura]

You didn't have to bend to that.

[Shane Gillis]

Put it back up.

[Chris Distefano]

We got it back up, but they were complaining about.

[Tom Segura]

Did you use audio from wwe?

[Shane Gillis]

We might have done a video.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. Yeah, because you don't have to.

[Chris Distefano]

Shane didn't commit to it, but Shane's.

[Shane Gillis]

Dress is a dad who brought the kids.

[Chris Distefano]

But so do Macho Man. You, Hogan, me, Brett the Hitman Hart.

[Shane Gillis]

Is that movie out yet? The Smashing Machine?

[Chris Distefano]

It should. It's out soon.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay, that looks.

[Chris Distefano]

I want to see it, man. Saf d. I like this.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, we just saw one battle after another.

[Chris Distefano]

We were talking how good it was.

[Shane Gillis]

See it?

[Tom Segura]

No, I didn't.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I heard it's like. It's unbelievable, right? Yeah, I heard it's like if he did a Tarantino movie.

[Shane Gillis]

That's what I said.

[Chris Distefano]

Like, Coen Brothers type, right?

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

It's awesome. Yeah, it's. It's an awesome.

[Tom Segura]

It's on the list. It's on the list.

[Chris Distefano]

Big fan.

[Tom Segura]

Would you think these are cool? I like this. There's a good dudes. They. They actually came to the. They came to the Imperial Jokers movie premiere.

[Shane Gillis]

Whoa.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, this is really cool. They reached out, and Ronnie is one of the writers that helps write all those movies with them, and he's like, when we were making uncut gems, it was, like, really heavy material. And he's like, and I used to end every single day watching your show, and you reach out and told me. And then one of the brothers, too, and then they just, like, were really cool, and they were like, we want to come to the thing.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Nice guys. Really nice guys.

[Chris Distefano]

Josh is cool as fuck. I don't know Benny, but Josh, well, he's a psychotic Knicks fan like me, so he'll text about.

[Tom Segura]

I know the guy on the right. I think it's Josh now. The guy on the left up there.

[Shane Gillis]

Benny on the right.

[Tom Segura]

That's Josh. Yeah, yeah, Benny. I haven't met.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Seinfeld said that Spielberg would watch the show during Schindler's List because he needed some levity, which is a huge compliment.

[Tom Segura]

That's kind of what he was saying.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Emilio]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That's crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

And then Seifle did the episode where they're making out in Shindler's List.

[Chris Distefano]

Great episode.

[Shane Gillis]

Great app.

[Chris Distefano]

He made out doing Schindler's List.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Great idea we had.

[Tom Segura]

We tried to get Cookie Monster on Impractical Jokers, like, two seasons ago. Having guests. We want to go outside the box. We contact him. He wanted to come on Whoa. And then the powers that be at Sesame street said it wasn't the right brand match. And I didn't want to let go of the. Why are you laughing?

[Sal Vulcano]

No, just.

[Tom Segura]

Did I tell you something? I didn't want to let go of the idea of having a puppet on for the guest there. So we. We got ALF to get him. Took two years. The guy wasn't doing it. And we wrote him. We talked to him. I wrote him a letter. Q wrote him a letter.

[Shane Gillis]

And then.

[Tom Segura]

Then he said, you know, Tom, I appreciate this letter. Because he said no at first. Then we wrote the letter, and then he's like, if you're still doing this next year, reach out next year. We reached out. We convinced him.

[Shane Gillis]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

We had the actual. The. That's the very first ALF pup. Wow.

[Chris Distefano]

The original one.

[Shane Gillis]

How about.

[Tom Segura]

Spent the day shooting with him.

[Shane Gillis]

Does that count as a minority?

[Emilio]

He's an alien.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Yeah, it was. It was pretty wild.

[Chris Distefano]

Was Alpha. And the cigarettes.

[Shane Gillis]

He ate cats. I know that.

[Sal Vulcano]

That he ate cat.

[Tom Segura]

No, he had his own sitcom.

[Chris Distefano]

I know, but. Which was the one who was on the cigarettes. It was like, a problem.

[Shane Gillis]

You think of Joe Camel?

[Sal Vulcano]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

Way off.

[Sal Vulcano]

Holy Alpha Joe.

[Shane Gillis]

One's a camel, one's an alien.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, yeah, alf. I remember Al.

[Sal Vulcano]

Al had a sitcom.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it was. He was. He was massive.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow. Joe Camel. That was not good. Sorry. Yeah, he was kind of a cool camel, though, man.

[Sal Vulcano]

He's.

[Tom Segura]

He's the ultimate name. Another cool camel.

[Sal Vulcano]

Kids to smoke.

[Chris Distefano]

Actually hung out with him in riot.

[Emilio]

They say his face is a dick and ball. Balls.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Had that joke.

[Emilio]

What did he say?

[Sal Vulcano]

Subliminally a dick, but it's not subliminal.

[Emilio]

It's just a. Digging balls.

[Shane Gillis]

You think what? I see the balls.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah.

[Emilio]

See, it's a dick with foreskin.

[Sal Vulcano]

Looks like Ari's dick.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, pull it up. Ari's dick is smoking. Wait, so wait, you got elf.

[Tom Segura]

It is funny because it's him. It's a guy and his wife that do it.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, weird.

[Tom Segura]

And they. And they go under the table for, like, eight hours. And it's not. It's not a comfortable setup either. They're on, like, a piece of plywood and, like, sitting awkward. And he's. He's doing the voice and half of them. And she's doing half of them, and she's got, like, animatronic stuff she's touching. And they really grind down there.

[Shane Gillis]

See, I've pitched so many shows that the fact that ALF got made pisses me off.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Because I'm like, that got through.

[Tom Segura]

It was a different time.

[Shane Gillis]

It was a different.

[Tom Segura]

Wasn't there like a. Another show? Like, almost like a Married With Children with some. Some puppet, maybe Bobcat Goldweight. Yes. Right.

[Chris Distefano]

And it was.

[Shane Gillis]

I never watched Happily Ever After.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Something like Nikki Cox.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, Like. And there was a puppet on that, Wasn't it? There.

[Shane Gillis]

There was a puppet on. I never saw a bunny.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Pull that up.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know what it's about, but.

[Shane Gillis]

And Nikki Cox was banging J for a while.

[Tom Segura]

Is that right?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Unhappily ever.

[Sal Vulcano]

This is on, like, that's it. UPN9. Or like.

[Shane Gillis]

I think it was WB.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, WB up 9. WB. Same thing.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes. That's a bad Al bunny. Oh, what a rip.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, look at that.

[Shane Gillis]

So they went Elf and Married With Children combo.

[Tom Segura]

What is the. What's the deal with this thing? What is.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, it's a young E from Entourage.

[Tom Segura]

What?

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, where?

[Shane Gillis]

I remember.

[Chris Distefano]

In the middle, right?

[Tom Segura]

No, it's not.

[Chris Distefano]

That's E. That's Kevin Connolly. Dude.

[Shane Gillis]

There's Bobcat.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, E. Right. Sure, sure. Yeah. He did the voice.

[Shane Gillis]

Pull up some Nikki cock photos while you're on the page.

[Sal Vulcano]

That Happily Ever after also looked like a home improvement.

[Shane Gillis]

They have that same lighting and everything. Yeah, it was all the same back then. Hi. Yeah. Wow. That was 90s. It's like a Jessica Rabbit vibe.

[Chris Distefano]

That is Jessica Rabbit.

[Shane Gillis]

Back when you didn't have to have an ass.

[Tom Segura]

Didn't.

[Emilio]

I mean.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You're looking at that and you're complaining you got some problems.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, I'm just. That's an observation.

[Tom Segura]

It was Alyssa Milano.

[Chris Distefano]

Mark finds the hottest girl at the bar. He's like, I guess you don't have to have an ass. Just negs her down.

[Shane Gillis]

90S.

[Tom Segura]

At one time, someone I knew knew a girl whose family was really, really wealthy, and she had a house, like, up in the Hamptons, something. She invited all of our friends up, right? We get up there, and it was like we were welcomed to a resort. They had. They had everything we got up there. They had all this property. There was quads lined up if you want to take a quad out. They had this huge, huge pool. They were doing a lobster bake. They had. I mean, it was unbelievable. It was just unreal. Everyone had their own bedroom, and it was unbelievable. My friends floating in the pool. And the girls. There's like a bunch of girls. You don't have a hot tub, huh?

[Chris Distefano]

He's like, I thought you have got to keep them humble.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, my mom does. My mom has a problem with that. Oh, yeah. Yay. Sorry, Peter, but my mom will be like. I'll be like, I got Conan. She'll go, no, Letterman. Huh? All right, Keep talking to you.

[Tom Segura]

But he's not on the air anymore. But when he was.

[Chris Distefano]

You got to move to something else. This is too hot for the podcast.

[Emilio]

Sally Jay Moore used to say that she is the funnier than any comic he's ever met.

[Chris Distefano]

I don't believe that's just what you say about a really hot chicken.

[Tom Segura]

Me too.

[Shane Gillis]

I think that said the same thing about Jeannie Buss.

[Chris Distefano]

You know who's hilarious? Sharon stone. In the 90s, she was one funny gal.

[Shane Gillis]

Crawford had an hour.

[Tom Segura]

Cindy Crawford. I almost died laughing.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah, I met her, you know.

[Chris Distefano]

Funniest comedian, in my opinion. Kaya Gerber, daughter of Cindy. Cindy Crawford. Very, very funny.

[Tom Segura]

It looks like her.

[Shane Gillis]

It's crazy.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It looks.

[Shane Gillis]

Cuz the daughter I find is usually hotter.

[Tom Segura]

Cindy Crawford. I went from Alyssa Milano.

[Shane Gillis]

Look at that. I love Alyssa Milan.

[Chris Distefano]

And then.

[Tom Segura]

And then I went. I graduated.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Tom Segura]

To Cindy Crawford.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, God. Pete Davidson was all over that.

[Tom Segura]

Is that right?

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, look at that. The bottom row, left.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Also, wait.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, there you go, Pete.

[Shane Gillis]

I had another one. The daughter. Oh, Ally. Andy McDowell.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Her daughter is very pretty.

[Tom Segura]

I know our son. I know our son, Charlie.

[Shane Gillis]

Really? I think it's McDowell.

[Tom Segura]

Andy McDowell. Well, yeah. I thought Charlie McDowell was.

[Shane Gillis]

I think, hotter than the mom. What do you think?

[Chris Distefano]

The mom's pretty hot.

[Shane Gillis]

You like the mom?

[Tom Segura]

They look alike.

[Chris Distefano]

The mom is a beautiful woman.

[Shane Gillis]

That's true. Groundhog Day.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, yeah. She's great.

[Chris Distefano]

Classic.

[Shane Gillis]

All right. Maybe the mom's more of a natural. Beautiful.

[Chris Distefano]

What does this podcast become? I love that. This is. We gotta record one this week. The people have to hear us quietly mull over which mom daughter combo is better.

[Sal Vulcano]

A very measured man.

[Chris Distefano]

A married father. A married father's like, I suppose I'd bang the mother as well. No ass.

[Sal Vulcano]

No ass.

[Chris Distefano]

This is what passes for entertainment now go.

[Tom Segura]

I'm judging in this outfit. I could see it in the 90s.

[Shane Gillis]

What about Fifer?

[Chris Distefano]

We're idiots.

[Tom Segura]

There's no stuffing in this spot.

[Chris Distefano]

Brian Feifer. Holy.

[Sal Vulcano]

I mean, fifer. Yeah. Grease 2. That was my favorite fighter.

[Chris Distefano]

She's still a hot lady.

[Shane Gillis]

Grease 2.

[Sal Vulcano]

Pfeiffer.

[Tom Segura]

I don't think I've seen Grease 2.

[Shane Gillis]

What? You would love it.

[Tom Segura]

Really?

[Shane Gillis]

It just can't be. Horseshit.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

Grease 2. Pfeiffer.

[Tom Segura]

But is it. Is it. Is it like, is it. Is it a different set of people than Grease one?

[Shane Gillis]

Completely different people.

[Chris Distefano]

I got. I got a Michelle Pfeiffer for you. And veterans can back me up on this one. Fabulous. Baker Boys.

[Emilio]

Yep.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, the piano.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh my God, she's so hot and unbelievable movie. So, so fun.

[Tom Segura]

Was she the one in Gangster's Paradise?

[Shane Gillis]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, with Coolio.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that was a whole. During the 90s they had a whole run of movies with the teacher. Like remember the Substitute with Tom Baron?

[Sal Vulcano]

Then it was like three of them.

[Tom Segura]

The principal. Pull. There's another one.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, that was one Hillary Swank as well. Boys don't cry. No, wait, that's different. Hillary Swank, Teen bopper.

[Sal Vulcano]

She never did it for me. No ass.

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Sal Vulcano]

But no, she. Hillary Swank.

[Shane Gillis]

Nah.

[Sal Vulcano]

Great actress.

[Shane Gillis]

People they tell you is pretty.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

All right.

[Tom Segura]

No, she's incredibly.

[Chris Distefano]

She's an attractive.

[Tom Segura]

She's a very beautiful. I wouldn't kick any of the people we named out of bed free and cracked.

[Shane Gillis]

I would get.

[Chris Distefano]

That was so old fashioned to yourself.

[Shane Gillis]

He had a movie in the 90s where she was a teacher. May was a 2000. Sorry.

[Chris Distefano]

No, I know you're talking about.

[Shane Gillis]

It was when.

[Chris Distefano]

It was like when that ship had sailed too.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

That was like late.

[Shane Gillis]

And Burr had the great bit about it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Like how there it is.

[Shane Gillis]

Freedom Writers.

[Emilio]

Freedom Writers.

[Tom Segura]

I've never heard of that.

[Shane Gillis]

Horrible.

[Chris Distefano]

If that was your teacher, you'd be like, she's the hottest teacher. Come on.

[Shane Gillis]

I guess. True. Oh, she's hiling.

[Chris Distefano]

We'll get. If you ask Elon Musk, you would say she's not, but not bad.

[Tom Segura]

This is her blippy video.

[Shane Gillis]

Video Misogyny and mayhem and gangster rap. God, those movies are cringy.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, there was that other one. Busta Rhymes and Michael Strapaport.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, higher learning. Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, higher Learning.

[Chris Distefano]

Remember high school?

[Sal Vulcano]

Wait, that was when he was. He was a snipe, right, wasn't he?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Someone shot.

[Sal Vulcano]

No, not Buster, was it? Buster Rhymes.

[Tom Segura]

He was in it. It.

[Sal Vulcano]

Omar Eps.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. Omar Eps.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, Eps had a good.

[Tom Segura]

That was a powerful movie when I saw it. I don't know if it holds up.

[Chris Distefano]

John Singleton, man. Yes.

[Shane Gillis]

Before Rapaport was doing face to camera stuff. It was a better time. I don't know everything.

[Sal Vulcano]

True Romance.

[Shane Gillis]

He's got a.

[Chris Distefano]

He's got a crazy IMD.

[Sal Vulcano]

Crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

He does. He does Friends. He had a run on Friends.

[Tom Segura]

Dude.

[Chris Distefano]

True Romance is amazing. What was he High school high? Was Hilarious.

[Shane Gillis]

That was really John Lovett's.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, they spoof those movies.

[Shane Gillis]

That was back when spoofs were around, I guess we got naked gun6.

[Tom Segura]

What'd you think of it?

[Chris Distefano]

I liked it, dude.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I can't do it.

[Sal Vulcano]

I didn't see yet.

[Tom Segura]

I. I didn't. I didn't really. I saw a little bit of it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I did.

[Tom Segura]

I.

[Chris Distefano]

It was the hardest. I've heard people laugh in the theater and.

[Shane Gillis]

All right.

[Chris Distefano]

It was funny movie.

[Shane Gillis]

I love hearing that.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

This was.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, even the poster. So 90s.

[Shane Gillis]

I love it list said he saw battle after another in the theater and people were dying.

[Chris Distefano]

It got big. Last in the theater, but it got big.

[Sal Vulcano]

I mean, DiCaprio. I mean, he has.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I didn't know.

[Sal Vulcano]

There's real parts to it that make it funny in the.

[Chris Distefano]

In the moment.

[Sal Vulcano]

I don't.

[Chris Distefano]

Benicio is.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah, he's funny. DiCaprio is funny and likable. You know, I mean, it's some un. I. I think it's a great.

[Tom Segura]

It's worth seeing in the theater.

[Chris Distefano]

I don't. Yeah, absolutely. You got it.

[Shane Gillis]

We saw it at 11am What? What? Regal in 4D.

[Chris Distefano]

We did too, dude. Well, Veto and I show up to see the movie because we planned it all out. We're like, we're going to see it. We're doing a show in Rochester Thursday night, 7pm we'll see the 9:20. We show up to the theater.

[Shane Gillis]

Theater.

[Chris Distefano]

They're like the sounds up in the theater.

[Sal Vulcano]

We could play Caption.

[Chris Distefano]

We can play the closed captioning. We're like, no, we're leaving. So.

[Tom Segura]

But they.

[Chris Distefano]

Luckily they changed our tickets the next day to IMAX. So we're like, all right, sweet. Saw at 11:00am Hell yeah. But like you. But it was. Dude, it was fucking dead.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

In there.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That's the only time I could ever catch a movie. Maybe on the road.

[Shane Gillis]

Same. Yeah, but it's weird getting out of there because it's a three hour movie. So you're like, it's full. Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

Movies long. But he brought it. I thought it was three hours.

[Shane Gillis]

That scene on the highway at the end. I'm not gonna say anything. Yeah, we had the. The 4D seats that shake. So the scene.

[Tom Segura]

I've never done that before.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, it was incredible.

[Tom Segura]

I heard it was. I heard those things are a nuisance. I liked it like this water spraying at you and stuff.

[Shane Gillis]

I think that's a myth.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Shane Gillis]

Don't go see a porno.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Emilio]

But when there was gunfire you would feel like a burst of air behind your ear. Big.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

But in this country, you don't know. That's a real bullet. Good point.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. That's like, yeah, I saw Batman and Aurora. Terrifying. You don't hear much about the theater shootings anymore. It's all school.

[Sal Vulcano]

Nobody's going to the theater anymore.

[Chris Distefano]

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[Shane Gillis]

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[Chris Distefano]

You want another one of these? What do you mix it with?

[Shane Gillis]

I put it with a little soda.

[Sal Vulcano]

I mean, you should have the original blippi on. Maybe that would be it.

[Shane Gillis]

I would get huge numbers.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I gotta say, this bloody Manhattan is kind of fun.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude, I like it.

[Tom Segura]

All right. All right. Yeah. All right. Here we go.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm feeding myself like a hamster. It is like, I'm gonna give this to kids on Halloween.

[Shane Gillis]

Pretty good, huh?

[Tom Segura]

I tell you what, you made that? That's very tasty.

[Sal Vulcano]

What do you guys got for candy? Favorite candy? I'm going sour patch.

[Chris Distefano]

Are you a sour patch?

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah, all day. I'll do that in a moment.

[Emilio]

Movie.

[Sal Vulcano]

Sour patch and bunch of crunch.

[Tom Segura]

That's crazy.

[Chris Distefano]

You're doing this guy loves. He loves a crunch bar.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah, that's his go to. I like it.

[Shane Gillis]

Crunch bar. It's so thin.

[Sal Vulcano]

Bunch of crunch.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a weird little ball.

[Shane Gillis]

Weird. Go to.

[Chris Distefano]

It's good.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Movie theater. You're going. You're either going, popcorn, nachos, or chocolate. I can't do candy at the movie.

[Shane Gillis]

Same, same. I got a milk dud.

[Tom Segura]

Sour.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Yeah. Sour.

[Chris Distefano]

These are underrated. Is wrong with hide shoes.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Bless you. These are. All right, let me stop, guys. I'm in a G rated zone right now.

[Chris Distefano]

Candy corn. How do we feel?

[Sal Vulcano]

No, never.

[Shane Gillis]

You gotta have it around. But I don't like it.

[Tom Segura]

I. I don't mind it.

[Sal Vulcano]

I like on it so much for coloring.

[Tom Segura]

Even the circus.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a background.

[Shane Gillis]

I like these.

[Tom Segura]

I have one.

[Shane Gillis]

I do.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. What? Yeah. So you're a sour patch guy. Move. So you do that. This is nachos and popcorn.

[Tom Segura]

No, I won't do popcorn. I'll do nachos. Or I'll do like a.

[Chris Distefano]

This is trash. Yeah, the.

[Shane Gillis]

The cookies and cream.

[Chris Distefano]

This is one of my favorite ones.

[Sal Vulcano]

I think Skittles are trash.

[Tom Segura]

I would generally be like, I. I'll pass on that. Then I had it and I was like, this is not bad.

[Chris Distefano]

It's great.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Number one in my book all day.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Reese's good classics.

[Tom Segura]

You know what I'll do at a theater? Would I never get elsewhere? And I'm like, this is when I have it. Reese's pieces.

[Shane Gillis]

I'll do the pieces.

[Sal Vulcano]

Okay.

[Shane Gillis]

You don't put them in the pop corn?

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay.

[Sal Vulcano]

Chocolate M and M. I mean, peanut M. Peanut M. Probably my number.

[Chris Distefano]

You got it. That's my go. If I'm at a hotel lobby, that's what I grab.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Better than regular M and M. Oh, totally.

[Tom Segura]

The regular M and M really has gotten by with a. With a boost from the peanut M. M didn't exist. I don't know the fate of the regular Eminem, really.

[Chris Distefano]

This is like a boardroom meeting.

[Sal Vulcano]

By the way. This is how old we are. You remember the. The blue Eminem when they came out with that?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

The whole, like, you voted on it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

It would not exist if people didn't.

[Chris Distefano]

I like that.

[Sal Vulcano]

Blue M and M. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

When I was back, when this country.

[Tom Segura]

Was a democracy, you had five colors.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You had yellow, you had orange, Asian. You had brown, dark and light brown. There were two browns, light brown, dark brown, yellow, orange, and green. Those were the 5 MMs, I really think brown. Do you remember the commercial with the two kids? The two little league kids in the dark? I got. He's like, what? You know, he's like. He's like, you're eating M and M's. He's like, yeah, they help my game. He's like, how so? He's like, the yellow one is a single. The. The brown one's a single, yellow one's a double, orange is a triple. And with the green one, I take the ball downtown.

[Shane Gillis]

No, I don't remember that.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, it's a classic.

[Chris Distefano]

This is a great candy.

[Sal Vulcano]

So there also.

[Shane Gillis]

No.

[Sal Vulcano]

Are there any more, like, commercials like this anymore?

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Eminem, can you listen to my genius idea? I think. Do you ever go on YouTube and be, like, 80s commercial compilations and watch them? These things, you'll never.

[Shane Gillis]

They.

[Tom Segura]

You.

[Shane Gillis]

You remember them.

[Tom Segura]

You'll never remember them. And you see it. You know every word, Right? This is it.

[Sal Vulcano]

Ah.

[Shane Gillis]

This is done. Ring a bell for me. Might have been regional.

[Sal Vulcano]

This looks familiar.

[Shane Gillis]

No kids ever said Magnificent. Only one homer left. That's for me. Here's a chip.

[Chris Distefano]

M and M's chocolate candy.

[Shane Gillis]

Like how the kid wouldn't let him in your mouth.

[Sal Vulcano]

Not in your hand.

[Tom Segura]

He's doing it himself. I didn't get that reference as a kid.

[Shane Gillis]

I just had a great idea.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

A podcast where we argue about what food is.

[Tom Segura]

Babe, I got three years of mortgage payments out of that one.

[Chris Distefano]

Dude, you. That was probably my favorite podcast clips of any pod. It's very clippable you and DeRosa arguing nuggets.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it'll be back. It'll be back. We want to do it.

[Chris Distefano]

So. So far, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

They come back.

[Shane Gillis]

That was a great pot and a great name to whoever who came up with that name.

[Tom Segura]

We came up with it high and drinking and high in the pool in Montauk.

[Shane Gillis]

Whoa.

[Tom Segura]

We went down a list of names. I think he. He might have said it. And I was like that it has to be taste bud.

[Shane Gillis]

That's.

[Tom Segura]

We almost called it food fight.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, that's good.

[Tom Segura]

We had that first. And then he said taste buds. I mean. No, no, it's taste.

[Chris Distefano]

Taste buds is great.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah. Damn, that's good. That was a great fucking podcast.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you. But I. What I think is, I think the companies should like M and Ms. Right now should play that on the air right now as their. I think it will cause such a buzz. And so I think.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh yeah, bring it back to 80s commercials.

[Tom Segura]

Put them right on. No, no, like, you know, just put it. Make that the people like, what the fuck is this? That's the actual Eminem's commercial right now that you just use an old ones. It would explode. Yeah, it would explode.

[Shane Gillis]

True.

[Chris Distefano]

And it kind of. It shows how long it's been around.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Kind of cool.

[Tom Segura]

Anything, any commercial. Anything. Just show the 80s and 90s commercials for it. I swear. And now someone's going to. Someone out there will take my idea.

[Chris Distefano]

But if I was just.

[Tom Segura]

This is the.

[Chris Distefano]

The clip. Is this the clip where derosa snaps on him?

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, I get it.

[Shane Gillis]

Look how serious and gay he is.

[Chris Distefano]

Wait, wait, get the sound on here.

[Emilio]

Oh, sorry.

[Shane Gillis]

This is.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, this is to me. Yeah, I know this. I know this clip. Poverty.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh is my favorite thing.

[Shane Gillis]

He's wearing the blue blockers. Sit coach flying to, you know, a.

[Tom Segura]

City just to help appreciate. Because then under here, practicality, you just describe my.

[Shane Gillis]

Sal's laugh is great. God damn, I love Chris.

[Sal Vulcano]

That's crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

That was it all.

[Chris Distefano]

That was like a real wrestling moment.

[Shane Gillis]

That was amazing. DeRosa was built for that moment.

[Tom Segura]

He was. Because that was our studio. So that was my office. So he was. We were filming day sports. What's next? Since DeRose was outside the door, we didn't know he was coming in. And when he came in, oh my God, that was hysterical, man.

[Shane Gillis]

Comedy.

[Tom Segura]

So funny.

[Chris Distefano]

Iconic moment.

[Shane Gillis]

I think that single handedly kicked Chris out of that phase he was in because he was reading Marcus Aurelius like at the comedy club and everyone like, all right, we got.

[Chris Distefano]

I saw him in the street in those sunglasses. And I was like, he's doing this.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I was like, all right, good to see you, buddy.

[Shane Gillis]

Now he's back. Leather jacket.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, he was with Emilio, who was in similar glasses. Like, you don't dress like the manager. What's next, a fucking little ponytail?

[Sal Vulcano]

And Chrissy, by the way, Amelia was the one who told us to go to Amelia's Balato.

[Chris Distefano]

Really?

[Shane Gillis]

That was a big mess up there.

[Chris Distefano]

That was a disaster.

[Sal Vulcano]

That was your point.

[Tom Segura]

I was. I couldn't make it. I was gonna come to that because I heard what.

[Chris Distefano]

You dodged a bullet. I heard it.

[Tom Segura]

I heard it turned out. Yeah. But I will say I've been going to BAL for a very long time and I've always had a good experience.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, the good news is they got review bombed like a son of a. I mean, really, really, we should hit him again.

[Tom Segura]

What was it that happened? Have you talked about on here?

[Sal Vulcano]

This is me knowing we're gonna get fucked.

[Tom Segura]

What'd you say?

[Sal Vulcano]

I said, that's me knowing we're gonna get fucked.

[Shane Gillis]

Shit eating grid.

[Chris Distefano]

So what happened was.

[Tom Segura]

Was it that. It was just like an unexpectedly high bill?

[Sal Vulcano]

I don't think I ever got a pellet.

[Chris Distefano]

Ari's in a serious photo with half a beard.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, Ari looks like a hairless cat in that photo.

[Chris Distefano]

Mr. Bigglesworth.

[Sal Vulcano]

He's got. Yeah, he's got half a beard on one side.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

So what happened was I. I walked in and I was setting this whole thing up for Sam. I wanted to make it a nice birthday.

[Emilio]

Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

I thought I could pay for the whole thing. I only paid, but.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, you were gonna. You want to?

[Sal Vulcano]

I thought so. I thought it was gonna be like just. It was gonna be maybe Max. Like 500 bucks, 600 bucks.

[Shane Gillis]

We had 11 people.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Wait.

[Sal Vulcano]

Getting added too, as it was going on.

[Tom Segura]

So we walk in. In what world would that many people be that.

[Shane Gillis]

I know. That's crazy.

[Tom Segura]

That's like an app. Each.

[Sal Vulcano]

So anyway, I walk in, we, like, get to the restaurant, and they're sitting, these three guys.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, okay.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, no.

[Tom Segura]

That was such a good photo.

[Sal Vulcano]

These owners are sitting right outside the restaurant. So I say that we're here. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I say that they're incredibly rude.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah, they're incredibly rude. They're not going to seat us until our entire party's there. Understandable. That's fine. But we're waiting for, like, one more person at this time. So I say, all right, finally everybody's here. They go, we're going to bring you to the back table in this private room. And they do. And they go, so, what do you want us to give it? I go, like, what is. Like, what are some of the things that you recommend? And he goes, you want me to just. What do you go? Like, that works. The work. Yeah, the hits. I was like, the hits. And then so they gave us like a prefix menu item off the menu. And it was just. I guess I want to say it was like 200 each.

[Chris Distefano]

More.

[Sal Vulcano]

Maybe even more.

[Chris Distefano]

Way more.

[Sal Vulcano]

And the Bill was over 5000.

[Chris Distefano]

Dipped in and out real quick to say what's up? So they got dinged. So Sal.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, they did it per head. Even if they didn't eat.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

If they left, they'd left.

[Sal Vulcano]

And there would have been.

[Tom Segura]

You had a. You had an issue. You could. You had a. That was a. I mean, that was a fair thing to say to them. Like, these people just stopped by. Why'd you charge me for.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it was a whole.

[Tom Segura]

Did you have. Did you get mixed up. Up with them, or did you.

[Sal Vulcano]

No, we didn't. We just paid. And that was.

[Emilio]

Try and guess what it was. It was about 15 people.

[Chris Distefano]

Hold on, hold on. We just paid and complained about it for two years.

[Emilio]

Give me your highest estimate. What do you think it could possibly be for 15 people?

[Shane Gillis]

But a couple people. DeVito dipped out and Will dipped out.

[Emilio]

Food for 12 people, then. Give me your highest.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, so we're talking tax, tip, food and drink.

[Shane Gillis]

Mine, too. So tax cocktails.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. Okay, so with taxes. Boxing tip. Yes, with drinks, wine and food.

[Emilio]

Right.

[Tom Segura]

For 12 people. Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

I'm counting on you.

[Tom Segura]

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

[Emilio]

I want to say double whatever you're thinking.

[Tom Segura]

I'm gonna say 3,000 with tip, I think. So I'm gonna say if you add tip in and you just. Let's see if you're doing 20%. I'm say $3,600.

[Sal Vulcano]

What was it?

[Emilio]

$5,200.

[Shane Gillis]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Well, the wine. I mean, if you were pounding, like, really expensive.

[Emilio]

We were not.

[Sal Vulcano]

No, we weren't. And there really wasn't a lot of food. Food either.

[Shane Gillis]

It wasn't like a ton of food.

[Sal Vulcano]

Not a crazy.

[Tom Segura]

I put it at 250 ahead. Right. That would get me to 3,000 and then. Oh, no. Then tax. So then you just talk about, like, let's call it 3300. And then if you dip in 20%, you're at about 4000. So 250. That's 250 ahead before tax. And Tip. So I don't know what you had. Were you drinking like martini?

[Sal Vulcano]

No, not at all. Yeah, but it wasn't that crazy. But you didn't even get like. You didn't get individual dishes. Everything was just like kind of the family.

[Tom Segura]

Was it so much food you couldn't believe it?

[Sal Vulcano]

No, not at all.

[Shane Gillis]

At all.

[Sal Vulcano]

You would. You would have been better and it would have been less expensive.

[Tom Segura]

Receipt.

[Emilio]

We have a photo of it.

[Tom Segura]

I'd love to see that receipt.

[Emilio]

Let me bring it up.

[Shane Gillis]

I'd like to see that as well.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You know what? It doesn't matter if you're listening. Go ahead and give him another bad Emilio. They do deserve it.

[Sal Vulcano]

I died.

[Chris Distefano]

They were incredibly rude.

[Sal Vulcano]

I died on Sam's dollar a lot. There was not a great experience.

[Chris Distefano]

I see Peter last night we're doing Chicago and he goes, bavettes. Make sure Bavettes happens this weekend. So I'm like, text Brian. I can't wait.

[Sal Vulcano]

Have you been of Bavettes?

[Tom Segura]

No. And I got Chicago coming up. November 14th, Chicago Theater. November 14th, Beacon. December 29th. Let's do it.

[Shane Gillis]

Dude.

[Chris Distefano]

Dude, doy. Sal, I. I will say I do love Shaw's Crab House in Chicago, but we have two nights there, so we'll do Shaw's another night.

[Sal Vulcano]

That sounds good. He always gets me what I want.

[Chris Distefano]

Little Gary always gets what he wants.

[Sal Vulcano]

Sal to sell to Gary.

[Chris Distefano]

Let's be always win a video of you guys at a fancy dinner to be like, hey, I take care of little Gary too.

[Sal Vulcano]

We did a Omas and then.

[Chris Distefano]

Omakas.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that scratch. Scratch by Sushi.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

That place is unbelievable.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Took him.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, man. Good man.

[Chris Distefano]

It is a flex to take little Gary out. Was it Gary?

[Tom Segura]

Gary never Gary. Gary.

[Sal Vulcano]

Gary doesn't miss.

[Tom Segura]

Gary doesn't miss.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Except Chicago.

[Sal Vulcano]

Well, that was. See that. That wasn't fair.

[Chris Distefano]

No. For his last.

[Sal Vulcano]

For his other.

[Shane Gillis]

You just Netflix special.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah, the Netflix special. We go. We're gonna go out to breakfast. I picked a spot. He kept adding people, so I had to find something for this whole group. So that was not my fault. And it was last minute. I had to find something local.

[Shane Gillis]

I figured you had something in the.

[Tom Segura]

Pocket and it was a dud.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

But it was. It's under the gun is tough.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, well, it's one of those brunch places with like scenery you could take selfies at.

[Tom Segura]

You don't want to do one of those trendy.

[Chris Distefano]

He normally is pretty good. Because Gary appreciates what I appreciate too. Like a greasy spoon diner on the road.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, train.

[Tom Segura]

Train car.

[Sal Vulcano]

Train car, diner.

[Chris Distefano]

Dude, we're two Jews.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Emilio]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

But we get off that train, and I will say we. The Rochester one. Highland Park Diner, Shout out. I love that one. The one in Spokane, is it Frank's?

[Sal Vulcano]

Frank's.

[Chris Distefano]

That's a great one. I love a box.

[Sal Vulcano]

I think it's Henry's in Buffalo.

[Tom Segura]

We went to that one.

[Sal Vulcano]

Buffalo is a great Spokane.

[Tom Segura]

Didn't we go to one? It was. Oh, no, we went with the Jewish. That Jewish restaurant. We went to.

[Shane Gillis]

The one in Rich Richmond.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah. Earliest is excellent.

[Tom Segura]

I gotta start texting you guys. Like, I don't know why. I don't think the text comics. When I'm in a town, be like, guys, where. Where are we eating? Like, oh, yeah, yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

I'm the only one who could do it.

[Emilio]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Bevitz.

[Sal Vulcano]

Bavettes.

[Tom Segura]

Bavettes. I've never heard of that.

[Shane Gillis]

I've never heard of that one.

[Sal Vulcano]

That. Top Notch and then. Or Monte Verde. I think that's what it's called. Mon Verde.

[Chris Distefano]

Little Gary always gets what he wants.

[Emilio]

All right, so I got that proceed for you.

[Chris Distefano]

We've did this already.

[Tom Segura]

All right. Okay.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, Emilio, you got.

[Tom Segura]

You got four sparkling waters at 52 and four still waters at 50.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

104 bucks on there. So those are those. You got those bottles.

[Shane Gillis]

Yes. Or whatever.

[Tom Segura]

So you're talking about 10, 12.

[Chris Distefano]

Say whoever did that, it's 13 bucks.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, they just brought it over.

[Tom Segura]

It's 13 bucks a piece on those.

[Shane Gillis]

Two margaritas is $45.

[Emilio]

Look at this one drink, 160 bucks.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, all right, guys, hold the phone here.

[Shane Gillis]

Now, some lady got that.

[Tom Segura]

Someone's ordering some type of rare something.

[Emilio]

Or other that might be a bottle of wine. I don't know.

[Tom Segura]

Well, I mean, if that's what you're doing, I'm gonna, you know, See, they upcharge.

[Shane Gillis]

I go, hey, give me a reposado. And they got me a Class azul, which is 65 clams for one.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, that's one.

[Chris Distefano]

That's on top of it. They were not.

[Tom Segura]

It's the drinks.

[Chris Distefano]

Not pleasant.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah, they were rude. They were also rude. They were basically telling us to go ourselves.

[Shane Gillis]

They got 15.

[Tom Segura]

That's not right. So there you go. So the prefix itself was. Was 12 people. It was about.

[Sal Vulcano]

No, 15 people.

[Tom Segura]

200 and. 200 and something a person. It's. It's. It's the drinks where they got you. They got us the espresso every drink was 25 or higher. 65 for that class. They should call that out before they bring it over.

[Emilio]

Look at this.

[Shane Gillis]

Thousand dollar tip for treating us like.

[Emilio]

Oh, and threaten to break my camera.

[Sal Vulcano]

25.

[Tom Segura]

25.

[Sal Vulcano]

And again, not. Crazy amount of food.

[Tom Segura]

That didn't seem.

[Chris Distefano]

And I could have sworn I overheard them called Gary a dumb Jew. I don't know. I'm not positive.

[Shane Gillis]

That might have been me.

[Sal Vulcano]

So then I think it was everybody in our group.

[Tom Segura]

Everybody. Everybody threw in.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, we had to. DeVito didn't.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Because.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah, he had like a couple. A couple noodles.

[Tom Segura]

Whoa. So. And then it was that a whole cluster with credit cards. Everyone had cash on them.

[Shane Gillis]

LeBatard threw in a good six hundo.

[Emilio]

No, it's not true.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, yeah, I know there was.

[Tom Segura]

All right, Grouch.

[Sal Vulcano]

There was. There was a bit of a situation there with some of the people who drank. And then.

[Chris Distefano]

I can't keep relitigating this because I'm hearing from people complaining about it. I've gotten phone calls to people angry that we keep bringing this up.

[Tom Segura]

Who wanted the 165?

[Shane Gillis]

Go to the website and leave a review with the link to Blippy. Kidding.

[Tom Segura]

Go on record.

[Chris Distefano]

Leave a review.

[Tom Segura]

They've always been kind to me. I'm on the wall.

[Chris Distefano]

Leave a review of saying it made you on your friend. Made you have a diarrhea. Shit on your friend on the floor, and give it one star.

[Shane Gillis]

If Blippi can come back, they can come back.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it does feel like it does. That feels like a steep check to be dropped.

[Chris Distefano]

There's so much good Italian in New York City. You're out now, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

You're out.

[Chris Distefano]

Too many good Italian spots that treat you well.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. It's expensive and you're gonna be.

[Tom Segura]

Why? Why do you think they were not pleasant to you?

[Chris Distefano]

That's a.

[Tom Segura]

That's baffling.

[Sal Vulcano]

I think they think that they have a hot ticket, that they're always busy and they're taking that a little for granted.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. But if you're in the restaurant business and you have that kind of longevity, it's gotta. A lot of it's gott built on the surface.

[Shane Gillis]

I agree.

[Chris Distefano]

There's so much good Italian in the city too. In the Village especially. Got like Lartuzzi, San Sabino, Via Corona, all these great spots, you know, so.

[Tom Segura]

So if you go.

[Chris Distefano]

Go to the good.

[Sal Vulcano]

Like Vicks. You brought me on to Vicks.

[Tom Segura]

Vicks is good.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, dude.

[Tom Segura]

Vix is like, nice and.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah. Easy, easy. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

New York does Italian. Well, that's what we.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

That's our food here.

[Shane Gillis]

I would go the same with Peter Luger. They're mean to you. They do that. How you. We're. We're Brooklyn, so we're kind of.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, but they kind of earned it. At least I was.

[Tom Segura]

I wasn't that impressed with people I like. All right.

[Chris Distefano]

Luga's a classic. You can't get me to On Luger.

[Shane Gillis]

It's a classic.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

But hey, how about a smile? They do that thing where they're like, hey, you fig what's up, Right? Like, all right, all right. Geez.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it is. It does feel like a. A factory assembly line kind of.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

They just get you in there. They drop everything. It's like.

[Chris Distefano]

It's loud.

[Tom Segura]

And then they bring it. Did you have dessert there? They bring over like a bucket of cream.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

What the.

[Tom Segura]

It's called.

[Sal Vulcano]

But here's the thing. If a meal is good, I don't care how they. I'm treated. Just give me a. You know.

[Tom Segura]

You don't even. You didn't even like the meal of palatos.

[Sal Vulcano]

It wasn't. I wasn't blown away.

[Shane Gillis]

I agree.

[Sal Vulcano]

I wasn't blown away. Yeah, dude.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, for steak in the city, man. Strip house.

[Shane Gillis]

Always strip house. Top notch.

[Chris Distefano]

I love Keens is legit.

[Shane Gillis]

I'll throw an old homestead in there just for.

[Chris Distefano]

That was.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Fun.

[Sal Vulcano]

I never been a Sparks. Always wanted.

[Chris Distefano]

Never done. It's famous.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah. The mafia shooting.

[Shane Gillis]

Pull it up.

[Chris Distefano]

It was.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, it's a. Yeah. You'll sit at that picture.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know.

[Chris Distefano]

I think what happened outside.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah, outside.

[Chris Distefano]

It was. What's his name? It was Sammy the Bull or something like that.

[Sal Vulcano]

No, Paul Castellano right there. And his.

[Shane Gillis]

That help your business or hurt your.

[Sal Vulcano]

Business and his driver.

[Shane Gillis]

It helps. I bet it helps question, cuz it's in the paper now and it's notorious. Whoa.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, John Gotti was the one who ordered the hit. Yeah, Gotti ordered it.

[Tom Segura]

That was like the hit of our lifetime.

[Sal Vulcano]

What was that one? And then there's the other one that happened in the barber shop where the guy got his.

[Tom Segura]

No, that was Sweeney Todd.

[Chris Distefano]

That was the hit of our lifetime. As opposed to the YouTube video we saw earlier, which was the. Of our lifetime.

[Tom Segura]

And the barbershop was the musical of our life.

[Shane Gillis]

What's the. What's the barbershop?

[Sal Vulcano]

The barbershop. Look up like barbershop Murder on Park Avenue.

[Shane Gillis]

Throat slit.

[Sal Vulcano]

Mob hit. Yeah, throat slit.

[Tom Segura]

Ooh, that's my most.

[Chris Distefano]

Eastern promises, remember?

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That's my most. That's my most. I hate.

[Sal Vulcano]

This is a famous one. I didn't imagine it, did I?

[Tom Segura]

Movies. I hate hearing about it.

[Chris Distefano]

Toug.

[Tom Segura]

Stop watching.

[Sal Vulcano]

I think it's that barber shop right there.

[Tom Segura]

The Dragons, hbo.

[Shane Gillis]

This is the Game of Thrones.

[Tom Segura]

I stopped watching it at the season six. I was like, I've seen enough Slip throats.

[Sal Vulcano]

Anastasia. That's who died.

[Shane Gillis]

Whoa. Never heard of Midtown Starbucks.

[Emilio]

Love the hats.

[Shane Gillis]

Look at the hats. Wait, why does it say star? You think it was. I think.

[Sal Vulcano]

I think this is a Luigi one.

[Tom Segura]

You think he was tailed there? You think someone gave the. The drop inside the. Inside the barber shop? Like he's here right now?

[Sal Vulcano]

I take it back. I don't think his throat got cut. I think the hitman came in and then he just started shooting him up. When he had the towel, it'd be.

[Tom Segura]

Great if he did, like, something else. I just make him drink all the barbicide or something.

[Sal Vulcano]

It was like the same thing. They put the towel over the face and then it's like, boom.

[Chris Distefano]

That seems fun to be a detective back then. You just throw on one of those hats.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

What year?

[Emilio]

57.

[Tom Segura]

What year?

[Emilio]

57.

[Tom Segura]

That's pre DNA.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So you really had to, like, go in there and. And catch the guy and be like, not Morgan Freeman. What's his name? What's that guy who walks in and he's. What's his name? The actor?

[Shane Gillis]

Colombo.

[Tom Segura]

No, it's. It's a. It's, it's, it's.

[Chris Distefano]

It's.

[Tom Segura]

The guy from King Kong. Ain't got nothing on me. He's the.

[Shane Gillis]

The Bone Collector. No, he's the American gangster.

[Tom Segura]

He goes in, he assesses the whole room right away.

[Shane Gillis]

Training Day Equalizer.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Really have to go in and equalize.

[Chris Distefano]

Devil in a Blue Dress. Keep naming. Denzelman.

[Shane Gillis]

Malcolm X.

[Chris Distefano]

He got game, Macbeth.

[Shane Gillis]

Gladiator 2.

[Tom Segura]

This whole time, I couldn't think of a single movie.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, dude.

[Chris Distefano]

You know, it's kind of a fun one from the 90s with Denzel. It's not a great movie, but for some reason, I just liked Fallen. Oh, yeah, yeah. That was creepy. John Goodman and Denzel. It's like, yeah, yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

Time is on your side.

[Chris Distefano]

I never saw it, man.

[Shane Gillis]

Fire is.

[Chris Distefano]

I got to see it.

[Sal Vulcano]

Manifire is. I. I feel it doesn't hold up. I used to think it was great.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, I could see anything. He's in pretty much.

[Tom Segura]

He's.

[Chris Distefano]

He's like, got that Nicholson thing with fences.

[Shane Gillis]

Cool.

[Tom Segura]

Wasn't that a thing? Fences.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, that was a thing. Apparently, is a real man of fire.

[Chris Distefano]

I watch that Kurasawa one. High and Low.

[Tom Segura]

Did you see the Equalizer?

[Sal Vulcano]

I did. I saw. I saw all three. I saw all three. They're. Yeah, they're.

[Tom Segura]

I think the first one was gorilla. Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, they're remaking everything. They made the Accountant two.

[Sal Vulcano]

God, it was tough. That was a tough one. I like the first one, though. The first one was.

[Chris Distefano]

The first is good.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah, it was fun enough.

[Shane Gillis]

Slow start, but yeah, it picks. I watched it on the Floor, but.

[Sal Vulcano]

You see all these guys. You see Affleck, Liam Neeson, they're all doing this, like, similar movies.

[Tom Segura]

It's odd. It's odd what Liam Neeson ended up doing, like, after the Ice. My set of Skills one.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, the Taken.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he did another hundred of them.

[Chris Distefano]

Yep.

[Sal Vulcano]

I know.

[Tom Segura]

Like, not just Taken. Like, every movie was the exact same. And it's weird because he's a notable actor that can get work, but he then took the same action role in, like, four. I'm not even joking around.

[Shane Gillis]

He did a wolf.

[Tom Segura]

30B movies after that.

[Shane Gillis]

I have a theory on this.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Shane Gillis]

These old. These guys get old and they want to still seem tough. It's the same with Jane Fonda. They get old, but they still want to be fuckable. That's the guy's version of staying fuckable.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Shane Gillis]

And then you get Tom Cruise doing it. You get a Keanu. Did it with Wick.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

You know, the Liam Neeson, Matt Damon.

[Chris Distefano]

I think with Cruz, he just wants to still be like, box. He cares that people are going to the theater. So it's like, I just want people to see the movie, and that's what. What they see.

[Tom Segura]

You know, the thing with Neeson is they all felt like the exact same movie.

[Shane Gillis]

What was the gray? You see the gray? Oh, that one taken with wolves.

[Tom Segura]

That one was, I think, a little bit of a curveball. Him. Him fighting wolves.

[Chris Distefano]

I like that better than Dancing with Wolves.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm taken by wolves. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I find that to be charming.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I think he just. I mean, spoiler alert, I guess. But he dies at the end, doesn't he?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

The wolves get him.

[Shane Gillis]

He slipped in the shower.

[Sal Vulcano]

You know, I liked Odenkirk's movie, though. That was another version. Yeah, they made it another one. But, yeah, the first one was good.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't know.

[Sal Vulcano]

Is this out?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah. Was it. Was it good? The second one, I didn't see it. He the first one sold me on it. Yeah, I watched, I was like, I, I, I believe him in this role.

[Shane Gillis]

It was a curveball and it worked.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

But back in the day, you would see Jean Claude Van Damme and you'd be like, holy shit, this guy's tough. Now there are guys who don't know how to fight, but I don't think he how to fight either. But you believed it.

[Shane Gillis]

You believe you could do a split.

[Chris Distefano]

Jet Li, I remember was on Conan once with Jean Claude Van Damme and I could tell the segment was really going south. Cuz Conan goes, why don't you try.

[Shane Gillis]

A move on me? That's when you know Conan's like, save.

[Chris Distefano]

This interview, let's go.

[Shane Gillis]

Damn. Yeah, Every mom when I was a kid wanted to bang Jean Claude.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah, we do those split, yeah, crazy, crazy splits.

[Shane Gillis]

Splits.

[Sal Vulcano]

You'd always be in his undies.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, dude, Jackie Chan was crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

That guy's a real professional. He's on another level.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. His own stunts.

[Shane Gillis]

By the way, they say the NWORD quite a bit in Rush Hour. Yeah, he says it.

[Tom Segura]

No, he doesn't.

[Chris Distefano]

A couple times say, yeah, he says a couple.

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, he goes, say you're my nword. And he goes, he says it. Wow, that's a fun time. That was a comedy.

[Chris Distefano]

It was a different time.

[Tom Segura]

And those are box office smash hits.

[Shane Gillis]

They made three of them.

[Sal Vulcano]

Their chemistry was, I mean, Chris Tucker is incredible.

[Shane Gillis]

He's incredible, incredible. That guy steals everything.

[Tom Segura]

Not because he's, I was be like easy. But he's not, Is he not really doing a lot right now.

[Shane Gillis]

Chris Tucker, he's in Sheen's documentary. Apparently they were pals.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Money talks, dude.

[Shane Gillis]

That's right.

[Chris Distefano]

We watched that on the tour bus.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Vito and I like, we're reliving our, our favorite night. Yeah, this doesn't hold up great. But, but Tucker's amazing in it.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, he's so good.

[Tom Segura]

That's when Hogan.

[Emilio]

Yes.

[Shane Gillis]

Does he break his neck or something?

[Chris Distefano]

He knocks him out.

[Emilio]

He puts him in. He claims that wrestling's fake and he's like, is this fake? And he puts him in a chokehold and knocks him out and he falls flat on his head.

[Chris Distefano]

He's like, I said wrestling's fake. I didn't say you're not stronger than me. Right?

[Tom Segura]

No, it's actually hard to watch his head just slam.

[Chris Distefano]

Cracks his head on the floor and he gets that.

[Tom Segura]

David. I mean, Richard Belzer.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Emilio]

He says he has no memory. Memory of what happens after this?

[Shane Gillis]

Whoa, Back up.

[Emilio]

And he's like, oh.

[Sal Vulcano]

Nobody helps.

[Tom Segura]

You know how dangerous that is?

[Sal Vulcano]

I know.

[Shane Gillis]

The head on the cut could have.

[Tom Segura]

Done full brain damage.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't care for this face slapping.

[Emilio]

Yeah. So did he get.

[Tom Segura]

Did he sue him for that?

[Emilio]

Yes, he did, in one.

[Tom Segura]

And do we know what. What kind of. What kind of cash prize he won?

[Chris Distefano]

That is.

[Sal Vulcano]

That's insane.

[Tom Segura]

To also not react, like, to keep reacting like it's normal, that the guy just dropped it and slammed his head against the ground.

[Chris Distefano]

Doing that with different types of dudes. This is a comedian you're with, right?

[Emilio]

So this is a total comedian movie. Pops back up and says, we'll be right back. He says, I have no memory of this.

[Shane Gillis]

Whoa. What a pro.

[Chris Distefano]

Holy.

[Shane Gillis]

What a pro. Oh, he's bleeding.

[Tom Segura]

Bleeding.

[Sal Vulcano]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

He's bleeding.

[Shane Gillis]

You were in sh. Oh, my God.

[Tom Segura]

There's a certain amount of people that say he deserved it.

[Chris Distefano]

Who did?

[Tom Segura]

Belzer.

[Shane Gillis]

I heard Big Bird.

[Tom Segura]

Come on.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, we said. We just have, like, a really heated political discussion in these outfits. Like, dude, we got to do something about this Gaza situation.

[Shane Gillis]

The.

[Chris Distefano]

Are we watching?

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Emilio]

Sal. $400,000, not how much you won.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Sal Vulcano]

What's that. What's that today, though?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, Put that in the calculator.

[Emilio]

Oh, I will.

[Shane Gillis]

What was that, 85 or something?

[Sal Vulcano]

I'm gonna put that at. I'm gonna put that at 1.6.

[Tom Segura]

I. I think it's more than that.

[Shane Gillis]

I'm gonna go two.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I think more.

[Shane Gillis]

It's a little less than the Bolato bill.

[Tom Segura]

And they treated them better.

[Shane Gillis]

That's true.

[Emilio]

Adjusting to 1.2 today.

[Shane Gillis]

Wow. Well, what year was it?

[Emilio]

Did you say 1.2?

[Tom Segura]

I said more than 2. He said 1.6, I think.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah. I went.

[Emilio]

I'm guess 88 or 86.

[Shane Gillis]

We need the year.

[Tom Segura]

I was going off, but I guess.

[Shane Gillis]

We don't need these.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Damn.

[Emilio]

85.

[Shane Gillis]

85.

[Chris Distefano]

It's funny because we all think, like, I take a fucking knockout for that kind of money.

[Shane Gillis]

Sure.

[Chris Distefano]

Then you're like, that could have done. That could have been bad.

[Shane Gillis]

I got put to sleep so many times in, like, eighth grade. Just friends learning about it and sleepovers.

[Tom Segura]

Super dangerous.

[Shane Gillis]

Super dangerous.

[Tom Segura]

You're cutting off oxygen to your brain.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

That was a fun night.

[Chris Distefano]

We used to wrestle. We used to beat the. I know.

[Sal Vulcano]

You do chokeholds all the time. That was like, the thing.

[Chris Distefano]

Remember that bomb, kids?

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, A lot of power. Bomb. We would do a thing for two minutes. We'd go like, Billy. Chris. Two minutes and you just go. Bloody noses. And you'd break up like a beam on the banister.

[Chris Distefano]

Billy gets him down. He shits all over his face. That 10 more times on this episode.

[Tom Segura]

Had a fight club.

[Shane Gillis]

Basically had a fight club.

[Chris Distefano]

That's the thing.

[Sal Vulcano]

Concussions weren't like a real thing. No, I mean you get concussions, but nobody cared.

[Chris Distefano]

It was just like Goldman has a bit about this.

[Shane Gillis]

They said, you got your Bell R. Yes, yes, exactly.

[Chris Distefano]

I remember. We did it. We got caught by our coach. We all like beating the out of each other. And he was like, you're all suspended idiots. Because we were all, you know, we'd have each other in like sharpshooters and.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh yeah, idiots.

[Chris Distefano]

We were dumb.

[Shane Gillis]

There was always the one kid who would lose his temper. Remember that? You were like, it was just a fun fight. And he was like.

[Chris Distefano]

Turned real stabbing someone.

[Shane Gillis]

Then there was the kid whose dad beat him. So then he's like, you know, he would see red when you fought him.

[Chris Distefano]

What's the clip? It's like gone viral a bunch of times. Where the kid is like bullying all the other kids on the boat and he's like, you fucking. He's saying slurs to everyone.

[Shane Gillis]

On a boat?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Is it karma? It's like a karma video where it's called Amazon.

[Emilio]

No, it's.

[Chris Distefano]

No, it's. It's a movie. It's a kid.

[Tom Segura]

It's like, oh, it's not okay.

[Chris Distefano]

It's always going viral. Viral. I don't know what it is.

[Shane Gillis]

Ling. On a boat. I'm excited.

[Tom Segura]

You ever watch those Insta Instant karma videos on YouTube? The best. When someone's being a dick or a bully or an then immediately like they crash their car or something.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Emilio]

Are you thinking of a Sandler movie when he's yelling on the. At the kids on show?

[Chris Distefano]

Definitely not a Sandler movie. It's way.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, it's a movie.

[Tom Segura]

I got a feeling something really bad's gonna happen to you and your whole family. O. Doyle.

[Shane Gillis]

I saw a great one where a guy chews out a dude in a car and he just turns around and hits a. A foam pole. So good. Cuz he has to pretend like it doesn't hurt.

[Chris Distefano]

This is it. All right. Wait, pause it.

[Emilio]

Okay.

[Shane Gillis]

Mean Creek.

[Emilio]

Wait, is that Drake Bell?

[Chris Distefano]

Fast forward a little bit. Yeah, fast forward a little bit.

[Tom Segura]

Can you play this on the pop?

[Shane Gillis]

I don't know. Peters.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, here it is. Here it is. Right? This isn't it.

[Shane Gillis]

I guess.

[Chris Distefano]

No, it's like right Here. Oh wait. It must be before this then. No, it's earlier than this. It's when he's yelling at everyone in the boat.

[Tom Segura]

Does the kid die because he can't swim?

[Shane Gillis]

What does he think was happening? They just gonna not push him over. They're in a canoe.

[Tom Segura]

But did we that kid die?

[Chris Distefano]

I don't know. I've never seen the movie. I just seen the clip where he's like.

[Tom Segura]

Because if he doesn't drown it's not really that big.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, that feels like a real B movie. Here. Mean Creek.

[Chris Distefano]

Shut up, George. What the hell is this?

[Shane Gillis]

We gotta go back to the video.

[Chris Distefano]

You gotta find this out.

[Tom Segura]

Did you ever see that top that.

[Shane Gillis]

Rap top that rap?

[Tom Segura]

Oh we did.

[Sal Vulcano]

We watched it.

[Tom Segura]

Did we watch it together?

[Sal Vulcano]

I think we watched.

[Tom Segura]

It's like an 80s movie about.

[Chris Distefano]

Is it now?

[Emilio]

I found. Is that Karen called?

[Sal Vulcano]

Isn't it rollerblades? They on rollerblades or something? She the girl comes in.

[Tom Segura]

Right?

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah, I watched that with you.

[Shane Gillis]

Shut the up Billy. You stupid. Shut the up.

[Tom Segura]

Skinny.

[Chris Distefano]

But how did we get here?

[Emilio]

You know that?

[Tom Segura]

I really do cuz all you do is branch around school talking about about your father. Hear about your fathers and how their work. All right. And making me sick.

[Sal Vulcano]

I like how this kid has a lisp too.

[Shane Gillis]

This looks like a Ron on reviewing a movie piece of.

[Tom Segura]

This is.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm going to glad.

[Sal Vulcano]

That's crazy.

[Shane Gillis]

He's a good actor though.

[Tom Segura]

Well, I believe him.

[Shane Gillis]

He's.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

What happened? Who is that actor Drake? Was it Josh Peck?

[Emilio]

Josh Peck?

[Chris Distefano]

Dude, he's pretty good.

[Tom Segura]

Oh that. That's Josh Peck.

[Shane Gillis]

Is he related to Gregory?

[Tom Segura]

Like this guy is like a very famous. He's funny famous. She's really funny.

[Shane Gillis]

Holy beautiful eyes on Peck.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Emilio]

Wow.

[Sal Vulcano]

What's he in?

[Chris Distefano]

He's the one who didn't get molested on Nickelodeon, right?

[Shane Gillis]

No, I don't know.

[Sal Vulcano]

That was. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Sal Vulcano]

That's the guy of Drake lost the.

[Emilio]

Weight after the by the way he has asked to be on the show. He really contacted us to be on this show.

[Shane Gillis]

Only if he reenacts that all of.

[Chris Distefano]

Us we and we have to act really scared. Yeah. We're on a boat.

[Shane Gillis]

Stop it. You dead.

[Chris Distefano]

He called. He called a little girl a that.

[Shane Gillis]

Has 4 billion views.

[Sal Vulcano]

Fathers.

[Shane Gillis]

He is. And he's so fat. Wow, look how wide.

[Chris Distefano]

Keep it going for a sec.

[Tom Segura]

They had table reads of this.

[Shane Gillis]

Wow. Is she even Japanese? Oh like Jewish American princess. Okay. Skinny butt munching.

[Tom Segura]

He's hitting everything. Weight sizes, sex.

[Chris Distefano]

He's Bobbing and weaving like Muhammad Al.

[Shane Gillis]

There's something different about ass eating and munching.

[Sal Vulcano]

I bet he probably riffed some of this too. They're like, oh, were you expecting that?

[Chris Distefano]

They were like, none of this is in the script. You were supposed to just say shut up.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, in the script. It's like, bunch of jerks. The director's like, make your own.

[Shane Gillis]

Have fun with it.

[Tom Segura]

Print it out of your.

[Chris Distefano]

The alliteration.

[Shane Gillis]

Holy shit. Amazing.

[Chris Distefano]

Imagine if that wasn't the script of the writers. God will say. He's like, yes, it's gonna flow.

[Tom Segura]

Well, let me take you to the exact opposite of that spectrum. Watch how this girl defends herself in time. Top that. It's the. It's. It's the rap. And top that.

[Shane Gillis]

Top that. All right.

[Chris Distefano]

God damn me. I gotta watch Mean Creek later.

[Shane Gillis]

I know, right?

[Tom Segura]

Okay, so these Girls are friends, 89. And they come across these.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, Jesus.

[Tom Segura]

You gotta back it up a little.

[Sal Vulcano]

You gotta started. Yeah, I've seen this.

[Shane Gillis]

Get the cutest walk. Oh God, I'm king and they know it.

[Tom Segura]

When I step my fingers and body I am hot and they're not. But if you want to hang a bean, I. Oh, keep it. No, I'm not in the mood. Oh my God. Come on, let's go back the other way.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, good idea.

[Tom Segura]

Are you kidding? I'm so embarrassed.

[Shane Gillis]

You are? Yeah, like mil sister.

[Tom Segura]

Look how cool he is.

[Shane Gillis]

I will never be hit. Oh, hold on.

[Emilio]

I gotta bring the guy back.

[Shane Gillis]

We got a nice matchup.

[Tom Segura]

Up her confidence. And watch this.

[Shane Gillis]

Stop that. I wish you'd finally take a real look and really.

[Tom Segura]

Stop that. What's that? Stop that. Forgive. Stop that.

[Shane Gillis]

I don't really give a.

[Tom Segura]

About trying.

[Shane Gillis]

Stop that.

[Tom Segura]

Stop that.

[Chris Distefano]

Stop that.

[Tom Segura]

You can try to you blue. I will make a fool of you.

[Shane Gillis]

All right. We got a watch on that. October 7th. That was. That was a lot. That was a lot.

[Tom Segura]

But she also told them.

[Shane Gillis]

Stop that two ways.

[Chris Distefano]

Two ways to get your point across. That's what I say.

[Shane Gillis]

Holy man. That made me uncomfortable. Yeah, the video was classic.

[Chris Distefano]

You better find a way to keep that little kid on the boat in the episode, Peters. Cuz we.

[Shane Gillis]

We need that. Yeah. I can't imagine Mean Creek as a big. Yeah. What do you call it? Residuals. Or we could.

[Chris Distefano]

I've seen that clip a lot on the Internet.

[Shane Gillis]

I haven't seen you die like that, Josh. Kitty.

[Chris Distefano]

A little kid being that hateful is insane. It's kind of shocking.

[Tom Segura]

Do you remember what his story was?

[Chris Distefano]

The cat I Never saw the movie. I don't know.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, you just saw that?

[Chris Distefano]

I just saw that clip, and I was like, what the Is this?

[Shane Gillis]

Wow. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Shane Gillis]

That. That really opened.

[Chris Distefano]

I start with the meme me. Who disagrees with anyone? Who disagrees with anyone. Me, politically.

[Tom Segura]

It's just that.

[Chris Distefano]

That's great.

[Shane Gillis]

This.

[Sal Vulcano]

This works too.

[Shane Gillis]

You got shitty ideas. I like how they keep jiggling. It keeps wiggling.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I know.

[Shane Gillis]

That was a lot.

[Tom Segura]

Why is the other guy.

[Sal Vulcano]

And he's just staying there.

[Tom Segura]

The other guy's already.

[Sal Vulcano]

And his mouth is open.

[Tom Segura]

Why does he have to be.

[Shane Gillis]

Be naked?

[Tom Segura]

He's already being on. I mean, it's like.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah, this. This show is really heavy.

[Chris Distefano]

This is a scary Halloween. Wow.

[Shane Gillis]

You guys want any candy Road?

[Tom Segura]

We might be putting the Sesame Street YouTube algorithm because of the thumbnail. We got to make sure you watch those GS.

[Shane Gillis]

That's true. Holy hell. Where do you go from here? You guys on the road?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You guys coming Gigs coming? Coming up, boys. You're with me.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

Saudi Arabia.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, this is out after that.

[Sal Vulcano]

Chicago theater. Doing.

[Tom Segura]

And you're doing Chicago with me.

[Sal Vulcano]

Am I?

[Shane Gillis]

Are you not?

[Sal Vulcano]

I think so.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, no.

[Tom Segura]

You're doing the Beacon with me, though.

[Sal Vulcano]

Beacon?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, no flight.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

No flights. Yeah. I'm on the road. Always adding cities. Torn all the way through 26.

[Chris Distefano]

Here you go.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. So I got Chicago on the 14th. Atlantic City, February 28th. Beacon Theater, December 27th. The Rhyme in April 12th.

[Shane Gillis]

A lot of.

[Tom Segura]

Lot of big theaters coming up. Savvy comedy dot com. And then I got a new talk show pod coming out called Manouche. Late fall, early winter. I'm doing it.

[Shane Gillis]

So can we hear the premise?

[Tom Segura]

Really big guest, really small talk. It's. It's. It's a. Like a really absurd. It's, like, in and out of sketch and real talking without, like, calling it out. It's like something a little bit different.

[Shane Gillis]

All right, great.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Well, I just realized you got the best career.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh.

[Sal Vulcano]

I'm open with these guys opening for everybody.

[Shane Gillis]

Nate.

[Sal Vulcano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

Arenas overseas.

[Sal Vulcano]

Got to do it all.

[Tom Segura]

Dinners.

[Sal Vulcano]

It's all right. Dinners, yeah, dinners, dinners. I'll be in Pittsburgh. That's all. These places are not the actual major cities, but they're right next to them.

[Shane Gillis]

Go to Nate Bar's website.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sal Vulcano]

Pittsburgh, Oregon, and Cincinnati. That's Cincinnati. Liberty Township.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

The question is, if you're open to. At the Beacon, do you still take him to a nice New York joint?

[Sal Vulcano]

Of course he does.

[Shane Gillis]

All right. Absolutely part of it.

[Chris Distefano]

There's some good stuff around there. Sushi Osaka, Upper west side.

[Tom Segura]

We are going someplace the next two days, but we're driving home from Providence on.

[Shane Gillis]

Oh.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, nice.

[Tom Segura]

All right, cool. Be on our bed on that.

[Chris Distefano]

Last night I got Salt Lake City. I'm going back to wise guy. Second time this year, November 14th through 16th. And it will be at two shows in Reno, Nevada, at the Atlantis Casino. November 29th, Carnegie Hall. December 4th. Let's go. See you guys there.

[Shane Gillis]

Local bar.

[Chris Distefano]

We'll be there.

[Sal Vulcano]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

All right. Oh, tonight, I guess this is 26. Oh, great, then I'm in. Magoobies. Two shows sold out. Come to the first two. It's on Halloween, so nobody wants to come to those, I guess. But hey, we're in Washington, D.C. lincoln Theater, Rochester, New York, at the Kodak Center. Niagara Falls, San Diego, and Prior Lake, Minnesota for a casino. And I'm doing some Shane Gillis Arenas in December as well.

[Chris Distefano]

So, yeah, definitely add some stuff. But when is it coming out?

[Shane Gillis]

26Th of October.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, tonight we're playing San Diego. San Diego tonight.

[Shane Gillis]

That's love, you guys.

[Chris Distefano]

Drink some Bodega Cat Whiskey. Get a bodegacatwhiskey.com DM Bodega Cat Whiskey on Instagram. Matt Herman will get back to you. If you want us in your liquor store, your bar, whatever, we're making some moves there.

[Shane Gillis]

You're here.

[Chris Distefano]

Shout out to all the places carrying us right now. We love you, you, new one. A new one just started carrying us, right?

[Shane Gillis]

Oh, yeah. We're all over the south. The Southeast. Whoa.

[Chris Distefano]

All right, well, I love you guys and we'll see you next week.

[Shane Gillis]

Al farted.

[Tom Segura]

See.

[Chris Distefano]

See all these. See both these boys on tour.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah. Happy Halloween, queens.

[Tom Segura]

Sunday's the day for my next bender. A bit of p. You know, the beard juice.

[Shane Gillis]

Close.

[Tom Segura]

I've had a little too much, but. And Norman's talking shit about the fucking poke. And I get down in the same way. Up on the roof like a cop's coming. And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous. I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans. This woman doesn't look like I remember her. And I get down in the same way. We might be true.

[Shane Gillis]

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[Tom Segura]

And survivors motives remain dangerously unclear, but.

[Shane Gillis]

If you're brave enough, who knows what you might find? Pre order now for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series XS and PC available October 30th.