We Might Be Drunk – Ep. 268: Bert Kreischer

Release Date: January 26, 2026
Hosts: Sam Morril & Mark Normand
Guest: Bert Kreischer
Special Guest Drop-In: Stavros Halkias

Episode Overview

This episode of We Might Be Drunk features comedian Bert Kreischer in a candid, irreverent, and wide-ranging conversation that bounces between personal health scares, the evolution of comic careers and fame, behind-the-scenes TV/film development, and the ever-changing nature of stand-up comedy. The signature tone is rowdy, fast-paced, and deeply funny—a mix of heartfelt real talk and relentless ball-busting, with plenty of memorable stories and hard truths.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fashion Statements and Comedic Persona

[00:06–03:15]

• The episode opens with playful roasting over Mark’s leather pants, drawing comparisons to pro wrestlers and Eddie Murphy-style special outfits.
  • Mark: “They feel sexy as fuck.” [00:41]
  • Discussion on comedians' attire for specials: overly flashy dress can backfire for newer comics.
  • Bert: “But you look like a pro wrestler doing a press tour.” [02:51]

2. Bert’s Serious Health Scare: Blood Clots and Sobriety

[03:45–12:56]

• Bert reveals a recent medical emergency: blood clots in his leg and lungs after a busy spell of cross-country flights.
  • Details include throbbing pain, ER visit, misdiagnosis, and the abrupt seriousness upon learning about clots in his lungs.
  • Mark: “You don't want to die from an easy joke … if I get a DUI and get in a car accident. Come on. If you want to, like, you want to get attacked by a shark, dude.” [31:16]
• Bert has been ordered to stay on blood thinners and off alcohol indefinitely.
  • Debate about how this might affect his “party animal” comedy persona and whether audiences will notice.
  • Sam: “The show is called Fully Loaded...everything’s boozy.”
  • Bert: “I own a vodka company. I don’t quit drinking.” [18:48]

3. Planes, Travel Risks, & Coping with Change

[04:05–12:53]

• The group discusses the dangers of long flights, inactivity, and dehydration.
  • Bert now gets up every 30 minutes on planes and wears compression socks.
  • Jokes about what coping vices are left: “You might become a candy guy, dude.” [19:20]

4. Adjusting to Life After Drinking

[12:56–18:59]

• Bert chronicles rapid improvement in his health after quitting booze/unhealthy habits (workouts, weight loss).
• Discussion on losing vices and whether comics change when they lose their signature "thing."
  • Mark: “Back in the day…we lived on the street, and we were all the same type of person. We just wanted to get fucked up, play music and fuck chicks…when we made money—Axl said, ‘I’m moving to Malibu.’” [25:21]

5. The ‘Two Bears’ Gift Arms Race: Comedians and Spending

[20:18–23:22]

• Bert details an escalating joke tradition of lavish birthday gifts between him and Tom Segura: e-bikes, $15k jet skis, even chartered private jets, reflecting their wild competitive friendship.
  • Stavros, reacting: “That sounds so dangerous. The Jew in me is like, you get the music on…you lose your senses.” [21:19]
  • Mark: “We were just Hammered [on the bike], not a care in my fucking life.” [21:14]

6. Pandemic-Era Hustle and TV Show Development

[85:49–89:24; 81:04–87:40; 87:40–94:08]

• Bert gives a deep dive on the origin and pitch of his new Netflix show "Free Bert", drawing on his 2016 career collapse, family, and the concept of structuring it like a bingeable drama, not a sitcom.
  • Bert: “I want it to be like Slow Horses and Black Doves…I don't want to do episodic.” [81:05]
  • Pitch meetings included the real Leanne Kreischer, whose banter with Bert became part of the show's dynamic. “They think you lost your mind. You’re like, dude, it’s my family, but Mindhunter. And they're like, what?!” [87:40]

7. Comedy's Evolution: Crowd Work, Grifts, and Being Yourself

[45:28–46:07]

• Sharp commentary on the rise of crowd work content and “right-leaning grifts” in comedy.
  • Mark: “Very few people do material these days. It's a lot of, like, what will the fans clap at? Or how can I get them interactive?”* [45:37]*

8. Comedian Health Trends: Ozempic/Manjaro & Body Image

[36:16–53:18]

• Bert explains using Manjaro for weight loss after a harsh cardiologist appointment, how GLP-1 drugs (and sobriety) are affecting comics, and the odd social dynamic around getting fit as a comic.
  • Bert: “I'm more comfortable as a fuck up.” [35:14]
  • Mark: “What’s the vice? You gotta have a—Take the edge off.”
  • Bert: “The outfits. I guess this is some way to get it...” [19:56]

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On health scares:

  • “They do an ultrasound and she’s like…You have a significant blood clot behind your knee. We gotta see if they're in your lungs. And then they’re like, they’re in your lungs.” – Bert [05:47]

• On changing comic archetypes:

  • “I think I'm done taking those pictures…No one wants to see you looking good.” – Bert [35:47]

• On showbiz and ego:

  • “I put this on because no one would ever invite me to do this.” – Bert, about creating his own big-stage comedy tours [93:01]

• On the evolution of relationships/fame:

  • “But as you grow as men, You're…not the same type of person.” – Bert [27:51]

• On joke crafting vs. storytelling:

  • “When you write, are you guys always trying to write the perfect joke, or perfect the joke?” – Bert [101:08]
  • “I’m trying to build a log cabin where you guys are just whittling and going, that's the perfect log cabin.” – Bert [101:39]

Best Bits (with Timestamps)

• Leather pants roast & comic style – [00:06–03:15]
• Bert’s blood clot/clots saga – [03:45–12:53]
  • “So, they flood me with iodine…and I feel like I shit myself. I'm naked on this thing with a blanket over my dick.” – Bert [10:16]
• ‘Comedians are just broke kids who dream big' – Slash anecdote – [24:05–26:26]
• Podcast therapy on vice replacements – [18:00–19:56]
• Behind the scenes: escalating Two Bears gifts – [20:18–23:22]
• Comic weight loss, societal pressure – [35:27–38:10]
• Meta-commentary on crowdwork trend – [45:28–46:07]
• Pitching ‘Free Bert’ & the changing TV landscape – [84:05–89:24]
• Bert’s humility & autodidact grind – [89:41–92:05]
  • “My whole energy has always been, push a rock uphill.” – Bert [94:35]

Comedic & Memorable Exchanges

• On fans expecting shirtlessness:

  • “There would be 80% of the room that’s going, Is he gonna take it off?” – Bert [33:14]

• On the perils of kids with product placement:

  • “Reach out to a brand now and sell his first word…All you gotta do instead of going mom and daddy…say Pepsi.” – Bert [55:40]

• Analogizing Bert’s party days to Carrot Top’s props:

  • “But it’s like seeing Carrot Top without the props or something.” – Sam [32:01]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:06–03:15] – Opening banter, fashion roast, comics & stage outfits
• [03:45–12:53] – Bert’s blood clot health scare and aftermath
• [12:53–18:59] – Adjusting to sobriety, health, career pressures
• [20:18–23:22] – The “Two Bears” birthday gift war
• [25:21–27:51] – Evolution of comic relationships, money, and homes
• [31:16–35:27] – How health, weight, and image collide in comedy
• [45:28–46:07] – Trend of crowdwork and right-leaning grifts in standup
• [81:04–87:40] – Pitching and producing “Free Bert”
• [94:35–101:08] – Industry hustle, “making it,” writing the next big special

Final Thoughts

A funny-yet-frank episode that explores not just the peaks but also the pitfalls—the dark hospital moments behind the party-animal persona, the breakneck pressures of comedian success, and the internal wrestling with identity as both an artist and a person in flux. It’s brash, full of zingers, but consistently vulnerable in the vein of old friends talking real, with Bert Kreischer’s storytelling at its center.

“When light flashes before your eyes…you go, dude, I've lived a fucking–No one expected this to happen to me, right?” – Bert [95:22]

For New Listeners:
Great for those who want inside baseball on stand-up and TV, a raw look at the costs of “living the bit,” and the real-talking camaraderie that makes We Might Be Drunk a favorite for comedy fans.

Upcoming:

• Bert: Beacon Theater (NYC) April 23–25, plus Florida/Tampa/Duluth tour dates.
• Stavros: Special taping in Tampa, February 26th.
• Watch “Free Bert” on Netflix.