Ep 272: Jack Whitehall (The Burbs)

Summary

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We Might Be Drunk Ep 273: Jack Whitehall (The Burbs)

Release Date: February 23, 2026
Hosts: Sam Morril & Mark Normand
Guest: Jack Whitehall

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Episode Overview

In this installment of We Might Be Drunk, NYC comedians Sam Morril and Mark Normand are joined by British comedian and actor Jack Whitehall. The trio dive deep into topics ranging from fat athletes, drinking cultures, Jack’s new NBC Peacock murder comedy “The Burbs,” the quirky world of British food influencers, family dynamics in showbiz, and more. The tone is raucous and loose, with plenty of banter, pop culture tangents, and self-deprecating humor—classic for fans of the show.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fatness, Fame, and Sports Rivalries

Timestamps: 00:28–10:33

• Introductions and Attire Banter: The show opens with the hosts riffing on Jack’s “scrumptious” cashmere and their own thrifted looks (00:14–00:49).
• Celebrity Weight Losses: They riff on public figures who famously lost weight, such as Al Roker, Oprah, and Kirsty Alley, lamenting the lost “jolly fat person” charm (01:12–02:12).
  • Quote: “When Oprah lost weight, I was like, ah, like fat Oprah. And Lizzo is now losing weight. And I like fat Lizzo.” — Sam (01:54)
• Fat Athletes Are Still Athletes:
  • Stories of overweight yet successful sports figures—Thomas Brolin (football), John Daly (golf), David Wells (baseball), and darts legends Andy Fordham and Bobby George—demonstrate skill isn’t always about fitness (04:45–07:57).
  • Quote: "[Andy Fordham] worked out the exact amount of alcohol he needed to steady his hand." — Jack (06:19)
  • Riff about whether ugly/fat athletes make less money, comparing league salaries (bowling to the WNBA) (09:01–09:15).
• Performing Under the Influence: The legend of David Wells pitching a perfect game hungover sparks a debate about the challenges of various sports and the era of drug-fueled athletic feats (09:15–10:33).

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2. British vs. American Drinking Culture

Timestamps: 10:33–16:12

• Liquor vs. Lager: Sam notes feeling pressure to drink beer over liquor when touring in the UK, emphasizing the cultural centrality of beer and pub sessions (10:52–11:41).
  • “In England, everything is just go to the pub and it's every meeting.”—Jack (12:31)
• Drinking All Day Long: Jack explains that beer allows for “full capacity drinking all day,” and pub gatherings are still thriving, especially among older generations (11:07–13:10).
• Iconic British Pubs: The hosts romanticize classic British pub aesthetics—“Old Wood and Brass Bar and the Gold Rail pubs” with odd snacks and crests (13:10–13:42).
• Beloved British Movie “Withnail & I”: Jack raves about the film as a barometer for American friends (“If you don’t cry at ‘Akeelah and the Bee,’ you’re kind of a cunt.” — Mark 22:28), praising its boozy themes and authenticity (13:54–14:44).

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3. Crossing Into Acting, “The Burbs,” & Working with The Rock

Timestamps: 16:12–22:54

• Jack’s New Show “The Burbs” (Peacock): A murder comedy set in suburbia, filmed on the iconic Universal backlot, blending horror-comedy elements and ensemble performances (17:05–18:09).
• Working with the Rock: Jack shares his admiration for Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and how talking about wrestling brought them closer on set. He recalls the fun of being around wrestling legends and wild WWE antics (18:52–20:17).
  • Quote: "It's all performing. He became popular in wrestling because he was the best on the mic." — Mark (19:31)
• Censorship & Cultural Differences: Jack notes that on day shows in LA, everything is about coffee; in England, it’s about beer and drinking (12:31).
• On-Screen Chemistry Tests: A humorous account of Jack’s awkward but memorable chemistry test with Kiki Palmer (22:08–22:54).

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4. The Awkwardness of Filming Sex & Realities of Acting

Timestamps: 25:09–34:34

• Jack’s Wildest Role: Jack details filming a graphic orgy scene for “Malice,” the logistics of simulating sex, and its unromantic nature, including an extra requesting a selfie in the middle of the shoot (25:09–27:36).
  • Quote: “At one point he was like, ‘Oh, I was just wondering whether at some point I could get a selfie. It’s just my son’s a big fan of yours.’ I was like, ‘I don’t think he’s gonna be a fan after he sees this.’” — Jack (27:18)
• Typecasting & Comfort: Jack says he’s "desensitized" to on-screen sex now. He and the hosts joke about props, craft services, and how his dad constantly jokes about Jack’s...less impressive endowment (34:22–35:47).

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5. The Phenomenon of “Travels with My Father”

Timestamps: 34:34–41:15

• Show Genesis: Jack explains the accidental origins of his now-legendary partnership with his father—a non-performer who became a TV sensation after a single Edinburgh Festival chat show gig (36:13–37:33).
• Power Dynamics & Family Annoyance: The downside to working so closely with family; his dad stole the show, they became a duo, then the whole family got in on the act, leading to his parents now on their own podcast and tour—having “ditched” Jack (41:00).
  • Quote: “You create a monster...every time I walk down the street now, people are like, ‘Oh yeah, how’s your dad? He’s so much funnier than you.’” — Jack (38:20)

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6. Peeves Segment: What Grinds Jack's Gears

Timestamps: 41:36–43:51

• People Not Queuing Properly: Classic English pet peeve—improper lines and queue jumpers, a source of anxiety for Jack (41:42–42:15).
  • Quote: “When you feel people just joining from the side and there’s no order…no one’s doing anything to stop it…that gives me anxiety." — Jack (42:07)
• Waiting in Line as National Virtue: David Beckham’s celebrated act of queuing at the Queen’s funeral; breaking the queue as career-ending in Britain (42:30–43:13).
• Screen-Shaming Parents: Jack defends using screens to placate kids in social situations (45:03).
• Runner’s Bragging: Jack, an avid runner himself, can’t stand when people talk about their runs or ask for marathon sponsorship—unless it’s their literal job (46:32–49:39).
  • Quote: “Anyone who wants to talk to me about how far I’ve run or where I’ve run or how fast I run...it’s not good conversation.” — Jack (46:40)

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7. British Food Influencers & Culinary Culture

Timestamps: 51:01–56:14

• Algorithmic Obsession: Jack’s feed is full of British food influencers: Tubbs (gravy so thick “it looked like cement”), “Rate My Takeaway” (reviewing foods outside kebab shops), and others who are pseudo-celebs for eating on camera with questionable appetites and taste (51:13–54:26).
  • Quote: “That gravy...looks like chocolate. Was this dude in that bathhouse with you, Jeff?” — Mark (52:00)
• America’s Lazy Contrast: By contrast, U.S. food influencers often film themselves eating in cars (55:00), which the hosts suggest is less ambitious.
• London’s Food Scene: Acknowledgement that London food has vastly improved over the years, thanks in part to its diverse immigrant culture (56:07–56:28).
• Snackadiums and Calorie Bombs: Jack shows off his custom “snackadium”—an intricate food stadium of sliders, tater tots, and avocado for the Super Bowl (57:43–58:11).

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8. TV Tangents: British Reality Shows

Timestamps: 60:09–63:40

• Favorite British Reality Shows: “Four in a Bed” (B&B couples score each other for cash, incentivizing pettiness), “Come Dine With Me” (dinner party comps for cash, encouraging sniping). This leads to the infamous “Sad Little Life, Jane” viral clip (62:22–63:33).
  • Quote: “Enjoy the money. I hope it makes you very happy. Dear Lord, what a sad little life, Jane. You ruined my life completely so you could have the money.” — Contestant on “Come Dine With Me” (62:49)
• Contrast with “The Great British Bake Off'": The latter is more wholesome than these competitive, cutthroat reality shows (61:45–61:51).

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9. Closing Banter & Quick Hits

Timestamps: 63:40–end

• Critiquing America: Mark and Sam try to goad Jack into bashing America (“What do you hate about America?”). Jack graciously sidesteps, noting the U.S. currently draws more global mockery than the UK, which is a relief after Brexit (64:15–64:51).
• Ellen Degeneres Anecdotes: Jack reveals that, as a newbie, he was barred from doing a KFC bit on “Ellen” because of her vegan policy (66:17–67:01).
• Upcoming Shows & Plugs: Jack, Sam, and Mark promote their tour dates, with Jack reading out Mark’s in classic highbrow “British narrator” style (69:13–70:09).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Fat Athletes: “He seemed to still have a sort of avuncular charm, despite the fact that he had shed the pounds.” — Jack, on Al Roker (02:04)
• On Filming Sex Scenes: “I just feel so unsexy…On the last thing, I had to film a gay orgy which was—at a strip club in Watford—at 8 o’clock in the morning.” — Jack (25:39)
• On ‘Travels with My Father’: “You create a monster…he always gets the punchline…I’m doing all the work behind the scenes, but he’s getting all the credit.” — Jack (38:20)
• On British Food Influencers: “Pull up the gravy...It's like two girls, one plate. Holy hell. It's insane.” — Sam (51:50)
• On Reality TV Pettiness: “Dear Lord, what a sad little life, Jane.”—‘Come Dine With Me’ viral clip, played by Jack (62:38)

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Timestamps Breakdown

| Segment | Timecode | |-----------------------------------|----------------| | Opening/Banter | 00:00–00:49 | | Fat Celebrities and Athletes | 00:49–10:33 | | British v. American Drinking | 10:33–16:12 | | Comedy, “The Burbs”, The Rock | 16:12–22:54 | | Sex Scenes & Acting | 25:09–34:34 | | Travels With My Father | 34:34–41:15 | | Peeves | 41:36–49:39 | | Food Influencers & British Food | 51:01–56:14 | | Snackadiums, LA/London | 57:43–59:24 | | British TV (“Come Dine With Me”) | 60:09–63:40 | | America Bashing & Ellen | 63:40–67:14 | | Tour Plugs & Goodbyes | 68:13–71:00 |

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Overall Vibe

The episode balances sharp, irreverent humor with warm, candid moments as the comics share trade secrets, cultural observations, and plenty of NSFW anecdotes. Underneath the comedy, there’s genuine admiration for how comedians, actors, and even food reviewers carve out niches—whether it’s in a Northern kebab shop or on a Hollywood backlot.

Check out Jack Whitehall’s new comedy “The Burbs” on Peacock and follow upcoming tour dates for all three comedians.

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Transcript

[A]

Foreign. We're talking about the weather. Hello. Hey, everybody. We're. We're here. We're queer. It's. We might be drunk. We got Jack Whitehall, everybody.

[B]

Hi.

[A]

What is that, cashmere?

[B]

A little.

[A]

Little cashmere. That is scrumptious.

[C]

Hold on, let me get it.

[B]

Get it, y'.

[C]

All.

[A]

Get it. That is lovely. Boy, oh, boy. I like thread count on that. Man, oh, man.

[B]

At any point.

[A]

Feel this.

[C]

We've tried to get you on the pod before.

[A]

This is sandpaper. Oh, this is our list. Our self esteem's coming out.

[C]

Great parmesan with that thing. It's terrible.

[A]

I think I got this at a thrift store in 88. But in the slacks are nice too.

[B]

Thank you very much.

[C]

Yeah. What else you got?

[B]

I'm a bit overdressed for podcast, but I took off some layers.

[A]

You're not overdressed.

[C]

We dress like on here. What else you got today?

[B]

I just did the Kelly Clarkson show.

[C]

Oh, nice. She's cool as hell.

[B]

Yeah, she was very nice. And the Today show in the morning, which was kind of wild.

[C]

Al Roker.

[B]

Al Roker.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

Yeah,

[B]

yeah.

[A]

Thin Roker.

[B]

Thin Roker.

[A]

Oh, I didn't know Big Roker.

[B]

Oh, really?

[C]

We were scared for him.

[B]

Oh, I'm glad I didn't know that.

[C]

Yeah. Pull up Roker Roker on Seinfeld. Remember that shit?

[A]

Wow. I mean, he was like. It's like an Eddie Murphy character. Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Look at that.

[C]

I remember him farting at that dinner table.

[A]

Yeah, look at that. This is pre Oz epic, by the way. He lost it the real way.

[C]

I think he got surgery. Ah, I think you have to.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh, quitter.

[B]

Well, this will all be great photo for the next time. I go. I had no idea.

[C]

You never told me. You know, how dare you?

[A]

Well, you know what no one ever talks about, but you grow up with a fat guy and then they lose weight, and it's kind of a bummer. I. I know him as fat.

[C]

He's not dead.

[A]

Well, sure, I don't want him to die, but I think when Oprah lost weight, I was like, ah, like fat Oprah. And Lizzo is now losing weight. And I like fat Lizzo.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But he.

[B]

He seemed to still have a sort of avuncular charm, despite the fact that he had shed the pounds.

[A]

Good. Some people lose hot, jolly fat man energy. Yeah.

[B]

Yes. Which is good.

[A]

Fme.

[C]

Yes, I do like when a woman used to be fat.

[A]

Llama used to be fat woman.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

The personality is definitely.

[A]

It's better Agreed.

[C]

We're hitting it hard for the holidays month. The black history month again?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

We're doing Oprah. Fat Al Rocafe. You should have mentioned Kirsty Alley. What the hell?

[A]

Come on, Marc.

[C]

She's really mentioning.

[B]

Yeah, that's true.

[C]

That's why I wish you stayed fat, Mark. She did. She passed away.

[A]

Well, Kirsty Alley, kudos to her. She was a fat cokehead. That's hard to pull off.

[B]

That's hard to pull off, but. Because you got to eat through.

[A]

What?

[B]

Eat through it.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're not really hungry on the blow.

[B]

That's impressive.

[A]

Chris Farley as well. Fat co kid.

[C]

Yeah. But he was doing other shit.

[A]

True. Hachi Machi.

[C]

That fat. She's just an actress. So it's like.

[A]

Right, right.

[C]

But like, that looks like most women in like, Kansas.

[A]

That's true. Yeah. Yeah, that's true.

[B]

It's amazing how instantly feels more inappropriate once they're dead. I was so involved with.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Cheers, dude.

[C]

Oh, my God. She's unbelievable.

[A]

She was very sexy. She was in Star Trek.

[C]

She was hot.

[A]

Yeah. So pull up a hot Kirsty, if you don't mind.

[C]

Just to spread it around.

[A]

Cleanse the palate a little.

[B]

There's a. There's a whole article on famously overweight celebrities that shed the pounds.

[A]

Wow. Oh, yeah. Cute. Cute.

[B]

This also feels disrespectful. There's no image of Kostiani that we can look at.

[A]

You can't win with the ladies.

[C]

She looks like Paul Gasol in that picture. What the heck?

[A]

Who?

[C]

The basketball player.

[A]

Pull him up. Geez. We're going down a wormhole here. This is why I can't watch Internet porn anymore. All of a sudden, I'm on a basketball player. Oh, yeah. Wow.

[C]

He's got that peacock look a little bit.

[A]

No.

[B]

Well, he was really fat as well.

[A]

No, they have the same face.

[B]

No, his brother was.

[C]

His brother Marcos. All was fat. I'm sorry. This is like. By the way, this is like me on my phone late at night. I'm Marcus all.

[A]

He was mad.

[C]

Let me keep going here.

[B]

Same. Yeah.

[C]

Hey, why aren't I writing more jokes?

[A]

Exactly. Holy moly. JD Vance meme.

[C]

He was fat, but he was a beast. He was really good.

[A]

Wow. Look at the gut on Grizzly.

[C]

Yeah, dude.

[A]

Good golly.

[C]

Yeah, but he lost it.

[A]

Well, Lucas, he was that big in the NBA.

[C]

Yeah, he was big.

[A]

That's even cooler to me.

[B]

I. Yeah. I have so much respect for like, elite athletes are able to do it when they look they look out of shape.

[A]

Definitely.

[B]

There was a soccer player called Thomas Brolin.

[C]

Pull him up.

[B]

Who again, like, just was not an athlete, but an unbelievable footballer. And he. He played with a beer gut.

[A]

Oh, my God, look at red faced Irish.

[C]

Was he like a tough guy, like a glue guy, or was he more finesse?

[B]

Yeah, no, yeah, finesse, real finesse. But. But he played in that era where he was playing against defenders that were like active alcoholics.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So it was probably slightly easier to play with a little bit of carrying a bit of timber.

[A]

Yeah, well, the John Daly. I mean, golf, Golf is a little.

[C]

And baseball, there are a lot of fat pitchers.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

The famous one is David Wells, who

[A]

just look at that tub of love. That's crazy. My God, that's a problem.

[B]

But then again, you even looking at that, you're like a lot of momentum is going.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Like, that board is going a long way.

[A]

That's true. It helps with the torque on the way back.

[C]

But he's the type of guy that if he sobered up, he might suck. Yeah, like, he might need that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, right.

[C]

It's like how Rodman was like, I need to go to Vegas and get fucked up for 72 hours. And they're like, just let him go.

[B]

Darts players as well. There's a lot of darts players that need to be drunk to be able to perform. I once went to a darts championship. Can we pull up Andy Fordham? He was nicknamed the Viking. And I saw him backstage in between going out onto the Occhi to like perform in a darts match. Very high level. And he was drinking from a bottle of Evian water. And I was like, oh, I heard that, you know, darts players drink beer. It's like crazy to see you actually drinking mineral water. He was like, it's vodka. And he worked out the exact amount of alcohol he needed to steady his hand so that he could go, wow. And throw. He looks like.

[C]

Remember the Million Dollar man from wrestling? He looks like Ted Dibiase.

[A]

Yeah, he does look like Dibiase. But he died.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

These stories are really cool. And then you're like, he died at 46.

[A]

Let me see that guy again. That is unbelievable. Wow.

[B]

Who's that?

[A]

I bet he got laid.

[C]

Dude, that's our buddy H. Foley.

[B]

He could play Andy Fordham in the.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The rise of the Viking.

[A]

Look at the wrist, though. That poor watch. My God, who does he look, he's kind of got like a meatloaf or something going on there.

[C]

Also dead.

[A]

Ah, damn.

[C]

With the name Meatloaf. You shouldn't have that long a life expectancy, though.

[A]

That's true. Look at that chubby. Wow.

[C]

That's insane. He gets there. Yeah. Oh, my God.

[A]

Wow. Now look at the hair. Dude, that guy got blown.

[C]

Do the dark skies get laid a lot?

[A]

They can find the clit. They hit it every time. It's a bullseye, baby.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Yeah, look, there's a guy.

[B]

Yeah, the darts players. There's a guy called Bobby George. Who is that? He was like the sort of the big Shaggart in the world of darts.

[C]

I pull up Bobby George.

[B]

Bobby George. He's got a great look.

[A]

Classic money with the necklace.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

He's a real showman.

[B]

He was like. Yeah, the sort of Michael Jordan of darts.

[A]

He's like a. Like a gaudy is the word.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Is that a game you can play forever or does your wrist start to like.

[B]

No, eventually you have to. So there is like a. Yeah, there's a sweet spot. But I think eventually you do have to retire because the wrist gives way or you. You get the shakes too much.

[A]

Damn. Yeah. Yeah. Well, bowling is the ultimate disgusting guy sport. I don't know if you guys bowling over there, do you.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

Okay, we got some bowlers and they are, I'd say, the ugliest, most out of shape athletes.

[C]

Well, you can be eating a grilled cheese while you play.

[A]

Well, this guy.

[B]

This is the guy. Pete Weber.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's the man.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

What's the famous. This is the best quote in history.

[B]

The.

[A]

Here it comes.

[C]

This is like Bill Murray at the end of King.

[A]

Exactly. Here comes. Who do you think you are? I am.

[B]

Oh, so good.

[A]

God, you could not write that line.

[B]

No.

[A]

That has got to be sheer adrenaline pumping. Just elation. That's amazing.

[C]

Do they make a good living? Like a world class bowler, you think?

[A]

I don't think so. I think they do. Okay. I think like a WNBA player.

[C]

I bet that's not a good living.

[A]

All right, well then no. Yeah. Wow. That was a great little athlete. Ugly athlete run we had there.

[C]

Well, David Wells for the Yankees had the famous one because he went out drinking all night, pulls an all nighter and then throws a perfect game, which you just don't do.

[B]

He was.

[C]

He was a wild guy, this guy. He bought Babe Ruth's hat on auction and was like, I want to wear Babe Ruth's hats during the game. Baseball's like, you can't do that. And he was like, I'm doing it. And they just find him and he wore it.

[A]

Good for him.

[C]

He's like, yeah, I don't give a shit. I want to wear this hat.

[A]

Yeah. What's. It's a hat. What's the difference? I mean, it's a Yankee hat, right?

[C]

Yeah, but it's like old. I don't know.

[A]

I see.

[B]

And he would play like intoxicated.

[C]

I don't know if he played intoxicated.

[B]

But he was hungover.

[A]

He was hungover and an all nighter. Is that ain't easy?

[B]

No, that is. Yeah.

[A]

Man, what a bad. But it kind of takes baseball down a peg. If you can do this hungover and on no sleep and do a perfect game, maybe it's not that hard of a sport.

[C]

No, it's hard. I mean, you know, but you know, they were on Coke in the 80s too. I mean, they were. But that might help you. It's focus.

[A]

It's adrenaline.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Good point.

[B]

Probably good. Really good for like one innings.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's quite a long game.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Then he used to start telling stories in the outfield.

[A]

We should write a movie.

[C]

It's like Bull Durham meets Major League Man. By the way, we watch Major League. Great movie.

[A]

Great movie. This is our mascot. Don't mind him. Welcome to Epstein's Island. Wait, I wasn't gonna say. Oh, speaking of drinking and playing games all night, we've both done London many times and the uk, Wales, all that. It's a real beer culture over there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm a liquor guy. Yeah. And I found. I got a little. People got a little snickery with the, like the vodka sodas and the tequila soda and all that. And they're like, just drink a beer, you dweeb.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. It's a lot of. It's a lot of lager.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think that's just because it's. They want to elongate it as well. Just full capacity drinking all day sessions.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

Maybe it also feels more acceptable to start with beer.

[A]

Good point.

[B]

Doing it in the day or you're doing it. But yeah, it's a lot of.

[C]

But there's something fucking cool about a martini at lunch.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

There's something epic where you're like, are we just going to get fucked up at 2pm? This is crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't know. But yeah, I'm the same way. I would drink beer over there because I was like, oh, okay. Like Liverpool. I was like, holy shit, these people are the best. I love Liverpool.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But yeah, it was a lot of beer. It's a lot of beer and one of those shots they always want to do in Liverpool with those fucking shots called Jaeger bombs. Wasn't Jaeger bombs. It was something like that. It was like a. Oh, fuck, I wish. I. I don't know.

[A]

But.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you.

[C]

Do you not drink?

[B]

No, I. Yeah, I drink. What's your drink stage, though? I will drink anything and everything. I have cocktails. I'd have whiskey, like a martini, love red wine.

[C]

So, like, there's no way this guy doesn't drink because of that bad teacher show. I was like, I feel like you definitely. A sober guy's not playing this guy.

[B]

No. Yeah, I definitely Dr. Not on stage, though. I'm terrible.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

So sloppy and same. I just.

[C]

So I always think I'm good and then I hear the recording. I'm like, that was not.

[A]

That was. Yeah, you're a little step off. You're a little slower. But I watched your Fallon. It's a big drinking chunk.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I do. That is definitely something that I feel when I go to, well, L. A in particular. Everything is sort of geared around, you know, going for coffee or going for lunch. And in England, everything is just go to the pub and it's every. Every meeting. Drinking, drinking at lunch. It's still like. We have a great drinking culture, which

[A]

I. Yeah, we used to. We've lost. We're fizzling.

[C]

New York's still good.

[A]

Still good. But, you know, liquor sales are down. I think everything's down with young people, with the new generation. So you guys are hanging in there like five o' clock at a pub in London. Yeah, it's just they're. They're like pushing out into the street. There's so many drinkers.

[C]

Oh, man, that place. Devonshire.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, my God, that shoulder. Shoulder to shoulder. It's crazy. They got that great restaurant upstairs too. That's a cool spot.

[B]

Yeah, that's great.

[A]

And the pubs look good here. You got these dumbass bars with the neon lights and all that. You guys are like Old Wood and Brass Bar and the. The Gold Rail pubs.

[B]

Yeah. Horrendous bar snacks as well.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like weird potato chips and pickled eggs and.

[C]

I like a pickled egg. Yeah, I like that.

[B]

Just like all feels like a proper throwback. Yeah, I love sitting in a pub and just drinking all day.

[A]

And there's a crest. There's always a crest of like the sheep's taint. You know, it's always some old. The. The Lord Zanus or Whatever. And it's like swords and a, you know, a fat lady or something.

[C]

I just watched this movie last night, which is like, I'm told a British classic. Have you seen With Nail and I.

[B]

Oh, I love With Nail and I love my favorite.

[C]

Yeah, it's a real drinking best.

[B]

Yeah, I love With Nail and I. That's always my barometer. If I, like, want to test out how much I'm going to like An American Friend.

[C]

It's a good flick.

[B]

It's amazing.

[C]

I had a friend tell me how much she liked it. And then I saw just randomly Will Arnett being like, that's my number one favorite movie in an interview. And I was like, oh, shit. Two. I got two in one week. Let me throw it on. I love it.

[B]

So good. What's the terrible cunt?

[A]

Griffin. I've seen him before.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, it's a good. It's a really good drinking movie.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

So good.

[C]

2. Really down and out.

[B]

The amazing story about that is that Richard E. Grant plays the best on screen drunk.

[A]

Really?

[B]

That's t. Total. And he never touched a drop of alcohol.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

But the director, Bruce Robinson, insisted on getting him drunk once. And Richard E. Grant talks about this night where Bruce Robinson took him out and forced him to drink. So he would experience it once before he started filming. And it's the only time to this day he's ever drunk. But it's honestly the most perfect performance of a drunk.

[C]

I like a kind of down and out poor character who's still kind of like debonair in a way. Funny about that.

[A]

Kind of like Arthur.

[C]

Yes. Well, he's not down and out. He was rich.

[A]

Oh, that's true.

[C]

But, yeah, but there was something very sophisticated, like fake sophisticated. Yeah, I love that. Yeah.

[B]

He living in squalor, but he's still got this like, grandeur about him.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Such a funny. It's so good. The script is amazing.

[A]

Well, you got. I mean, we love British comedy. You got me in a peep show.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I've watched it twice now, just through and through. It's so good.

[C]

It's. Yeah, it's probably like my comfort watch on the road. There's like that, that Seinfeld, 30 bucks. Something I just know will make me feel good.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Sopranos.

[B]

I did a show with Sam and Jesse who wrote Peep Show. They wrote a student show after this, which I was in with them. And the scripts are always so good. And then obviously Jesse went on to write succession.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. He's amazing. But the mind.

[C]

You know that?

[B]

Yeah, the guy. No, no, no, no. The writer.

[A]

Oh, sorry, sorry.

[C]

The guy who wrote Peep show wrote Succession.

[A]

I did not know that. I love Succession. It's fucking great.

[B]

He wrote loads of. They basically exclusively wrote comedy. And then he had this show idea, which I think was originally just.

[C]

Succession's a comedy, though.

[B]

Exactly. A comedy, like, disguised as a drama.

[A]

But it's.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, they're great.

[C]

Was that cool working with those guys?

[B]

Yeah, amazing. Like, so, so good. And, like, just every script was hilarious.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Jesse Armstrong.

[A]

How did they know about that world? How did he know about the, you know, rich, kind of wealthy family?

[C]

Felt like a combination of the. Yeah, that book right there. No, no, God, it looks like the COVID That's why I thought there was that book.

[B]

That was the show I was in there on Fresh Meat.

[A]

Oh, really? Okay. Wow.

[B]

And then. And then Succession. But I think when he originally wrote it, he wrote it and it was just about the Murdochs. And then they had to change.

[C]

A lot of stuff was Murdoch. And then it was. It was like that mixed with. There was that book about the Viacom, Sumner Redstone. Yeah, it's a really good book. Yeah, it's about Sumner Redstone and his daughter and, like, how fucked up. So I think it was, like, it was those two books mashed, I think.

[A]

Mm. Wow. What a talent.

[C]

But, yeah, man, you've been all these things, and this new show, the Burbs on Peacock, and it's like a drama. It's like a comedy, but like, kind of a murder comedy, right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Murder comedy. I like a murder comedy. Yeah.

[C]

Well, I like that one on Hulu they did with Steve Martin and Martin Short.

[A]

That was.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it's that. It's like. It's got, you know, the burbs kind of.

[A]

It's off the movie horror as well.

[B]

Yes, the. The Tom Hanks movie from the 80s. And then it's like, taking the sort of premise that of, like, this family moving back to the suburbs and there being, like, a weird secret on the street and. Yeah, it's got a really great ensemble cast, and Paula Pell is really funny, and Julia Duffy, Mark Proch.

[A]

It's.

[B]

Yeah, it's. Great. It's. We filmed. Yeah. Filmed it on the original set in the Universal lot where they've. You know, the Monster's House and Desperate Housewives and all of those. So you went to work every day. You were going past, like. Like the. The Jaws bit where it's scaring all of the tourists and driving The Psycho house. And then.

[C]

Yeah, they just keep that up. The Psycho house. Just in case. Just in case, like, we're bringing it back, dude. I know. The remake didn't work. We're trying another remake.

[A]

Vince Vaughn.

[C]

Vince Vaughn and Norman Bates. That was wild, baby.

[A]

Your money. You're not dead, you're money, mom. Wow, look at that. But that's fun. That real Hollywood.

[B]

It was cool. Yeah. And those. Those trams with all the tourists. Every now and again, you'd be going up to set in a little golf buggy and they'd slow down as they went past you, and you'd see all of the tourists looking out and then being really disappointed that it wasn't the Rock or Kevin Hart.

[C]

You did that movie with the Rock, though?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Was that fun?

[B]

I think they'd rather have seen, but

[C]

you're acting some big shit now. How was it working with the Rock?

[B]

Yeah, good. Yeah, he was great. He was really. I mean, I love wrestling. So on day one, I sort of started asking him about, you know, WrestleMania and which wrestlers he liked, you know, working with and which ones he didn't like work. And he opened up instantly because he loved talking about wrestling because I guess that's, you know, his passion. Sure, I instantly turned myself into a fan, but that was like, safe terrain to. To talk about and trying to get him to.

[A]

Yeah, that's a beans tough transition to go from smell what the Rock is cooking to movies.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But is it, though? It's all.

[C]

It's all performing. Like, he became popular in wrestling because it was. He was the best on the mic. Yeah, yeah. He was funny.

[B]

He was so good.

[C]

He's a good performer, you know, and

[B]

then he was also in that, like. Yeah, that amazing era where they could just get away with so much shit. Some of the clips from Attitude era,

[C]

you're like, yeah, there was a whole. There's a whole faction of D Generation X. Their tagline was suck it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I was in seventh grade, like. Like, you have detention. I'm like, we just gotta be like, suck it about. Get out.

[A]

Yeah, I was. My high school mascot. I did that the first game. I got fired. Yeah. But it was like, right in that 90s era. So I was like, come on, the kids love it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Now he was the man. I mean, that era was crazy.

[B]

It's crazy. That clip of Shawn Michaels doing the air fellatio as well.

[A]

You're like, all that up. So Sexiest man alive.

[B]

That was like. Like the. The product back.

[C]

Whoopsie.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

You got to be careful with that screen saver.

[B]

I think you spelled sha wrong, so I think might have a different sha.

[A]

Michaels put the word wrestling in there on tv.

[C]

Not.

[A]

He put BBC acronym. There we go. That's a meme now.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

He did it very well, too. Yeah, he really nailed the. The ball tickle and everything.

[A]

Guys, there's an option. Huge, too.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah.

[A]

Holy moly, look at this guy.

[C]

I think he's blowing the big show. That's a big deal.

[A]

Jesus.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Yeah. Wrestling that. I haven't watched it really in a while, but, like, growing up, I. That was so fun.

[A]

Super fun. Send that clip to my wife.

[B]

Just send the other Shawn Michaels one to mine, please. Oh, God.

[C]

They play this every week. I'm not a fan of this.

[A]

You got to get some new material.

[C]

This is literally. He's like a morning. It's like I'm doing it for our guest.

[A]

Wow. He's fine. He doesn't care. We're trying to get on heated rivalry.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

How about that Kiki Palmer? She's a sight for eyes.

[C]

I remember seeing her in Aila and the Bee when she's a child actor.

[A]

That's a.

[C]

It's a great movie.

[A]

Yeah. Did you have a lube out for Mark?

[C]

It's a heartwarming tale about a spelling the bee. It's Laurence Fishburne. It's about a child. A child doing the spelling bee. It's a good movie.

[B]

I went and did a. Like a. Like a chemistry test with her. They flew me out to Atlanta to do a screen test, and I'd never met her before, and obviously being a little bit nervous and went into the room and I thought, you know, a little icebreaker would be. And I tell her that I love tequila and the bee and, you know, really moved me. I was, you know, floods of tears by the end. When you're doing the bit, you seriously,

[C]

if you don't cheer up a little of that movie, you're kind of a cunt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did she lose to an Indian kid? Because that would be the only realistic

[C]

ending of a spelling I haven't seen in a minute.

[B]

I think she wins. She wins.

[A]

All right.

[B]

It's fishy. Yeah. But I'd watched it on the plane on the way over. I think she was smart. I was talking about, like, watching it as a child, but I was watching it as a grown ass man.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The day before. And in floods of tears on an airplane.

[A]

Did she appreciate it?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It was on TV recently. And I was watching parts and I was like, yeah, you tear up. It's like a feelgood movie. For sure.

[A]

All right, maybe I'll put it on.

[B]

Don't watch it on a plane.

[A]

No, I won't.

[B]

You just everything.

[A]

The Lola jet you were on.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Loa.

[A]

I've been drinking. I couldn't get it out. I've never been on a plane. I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, that's good.

[C]

Oh, is that what it's called?

[A]

Yeah, it's called.

[C]

Oh, I. Yeah, I didn't know.

[B]

I haven't been on it.

[A]

Not an expert on the jet.

[C]

Do you ever have to read with someone where you watch them in their end and you're like, this was a

[B]

piece of what is in going.

[C]

Yeah. Going to, like, work with someone.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Every rock movie, baby. What are we doing here? I like the Rock.

[C]

He is a great. He's a great performer, though.

[A]

He is. He is. He's a beast. I think the first black wrestler pro.

[C]

No, no, that's not true.

[A]

I think he broke some record. Maybe first wwe. I think he broke a col. Barrier in some way.

[C]

Coco Beware was a wrestler in the 80s.

[A]

Coco B. That's the movie with Kiki Palmer. All right, well, look up Rest the rock. Black breaking barrier. I swear to God, I saw his documentary Rock breaking. Oh, God, it was gonna be porn.

[B]

Being the same since they brought up that clip of you two making out. Somewhat of a tail spin.

[A]

My boner here.

[C]

First black champion.

[A]

Thank you, champ. All right.

[C]

All right.

[A]

See, you guys are quick to white guilt me.

[C]

I up, dud.

[A]

I've seen the dog. All right. First black champion. That's big. That's big. That's big.

[B]

That's big.

[A]

All right.

[C]

That's pretty cool.

[A]

But, yeah, Kiki Palmer was in Aziz's movie, which is, I think, pretty good, actually. Good. It's called Good Fortune.

[C]

I got to watch. I ran into him.

[B]

I'm embarrassed.

[C]

I haven't seen it.

[A]

No, I saw it on a plane.

[C]

But it's fun.

[A]

But it's fun. It's like. It's deep.

[C]

Keanu Reeves.

[A]

Yeah, it's funny. Keanu Reeves steals it, by the way.

[B]

He's so.

[A]

He's great. But it's a great premise. It kind of breaks all the. Breaks the mold a little bit. Very good. But she's the. She's the love interest. So she's now hooking up with an Indian guy, then a white guy. So she's all over the place with the male lead.

[C]

Called Being an actor.

[B]

Good Point. Yeah. Being an actor is just professional hoeing.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Do you feel any vibes on set ever? You're like, oh, this is. This could be something.

[B]

I don't know if. It just feels so un. But even when you're, you know, doing the scenes where you have to, like, make out, it just feels so unsexy.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

Tell me about you. See us before those.

[B]

Brutal.

[C]

Yeah. It's weird, right?

[B]

Yeah. On the last thing I show I did, I had to film a gay orgy, which was. I mean.

[A]

Wait, what?

[B]

I did a show called Malice on Amazon where I played this sort of. Of, like, psychopath who was into some really deviant, like, sexual stuff and so

[C]

you're not enjoying it?

[B]

Sorry?

[C]

You're not enjoying the game?

[B]

No, no. He's just sort of there, like, zoned out. So I didn't have to, like. Yeah, I didn't enjoy it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I did have to film it. It was at a strip club in Watford. We filmed it at sort of 8 o' clock in the morning. I don't know whether there's going to be any seat. Oh, no, no, that's.

[A]

David, get that right side out of there. That's a shot of me in my house, but. Oh, what the hell are you doing?

[B]

There's so many dicks on this podcast.

[A]

He's got a problem. They autofill for him. Well, they actually typing.

[C]

Yeah, that's what he's doing at 8 o' clock in the morning, usually.

[A]

Right. I don't know how to look at

[C]

that, by the way.

[B]

Well, they edited out the most graphic stuff, so it didn't actually.

[C]

What was the most graphic stuff?

[B]

Well, the most graphic stuff is there's a sequence where I'm like, watching some people participate in sex and this old dude comes and takes me by the hand and leads me off. And then it hard cuts to him shoving me up against the wall and fucking me from. Wow. Yeah.

[A]

Love a hard cut.

[B]

So you're filming 8 o' clock in the morning. This guy who had, like. He had like a sort of cushion, like duct tape around his. His waist. And the weirdest bit was not the actual, like, you know, bombing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I went to boarding school, you know, Shut your eyes and go to a happy place. But it was like that sort of small talk in between. And at one point he was like, oh, I was just wondering whether at some point I could get a selfie. And I was like, maybe we wait till, like, door G for the selfie, because I suspect you haven't got your phone on you. I hope you have. He was like, oh, it's just that my son's a big fan of yours. I was like, I don't think he's gonna be a fan after he sees this, mate.

[C]

Were you naked in the scene?

[B]

Yeah, I was naked.

[C]

Fully naked.

[B]

I had a. Like a cock sock on. Oh, yeah, that's me entering the orgy.

[A]

Wow. Look at.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You're gonna see the guy.

[A]

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[C]

And they don't think women are people.

[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[C]

Plan Shopify when you start something on your own, it feels like Suddenly you have 12 jobs. Marketing department customer service web Designer Accountant Therapist when we started this show, there were a lot of what ifs. What if nobody listens? What if we mess this up? What if it doesn't work? That's why having a partner like Shopify makes a difference. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US. You can build a beautiful online store with hundreds of ready to use Templates that match your brand style. It's packed with AI tools that help you write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography. And you can manage everything in one place, from inventory to payments to analytics without juggling a bunch of different platforms. If you ever get stuck, Shopify has award winning 24. 7 customer support. Start your business today with the industries best business partner, Shopify. And start hearing Cha Ching. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.comdrunk go to shopify.comdrunk that's shopify.comDrunk Cha Ching.

[B]

He was called Jeff. He was called Jeff.

[A]

They were really pounding away.

[B]

Yeah, they really were. And yeah, you signed up for one

[C]

day to be an extra.

[B]

This is.

[A]

Oh, man. Oh, you got some tits. That's Jeff. That's Jeff.

[B]

That's Jeff. That's the guy who wanted the photo because his son was a fan. See, look, I'm not enjoying it. I'm just.

[A]

There a lady though, right?

[B]

So, yeah, he's banging a lady.

[A]

But then.

[B]

And then what? What's about. Well, it. See, look. And then I look, I check him out and I'm like, yeah.

[A]

Oh, man, that'll do. People listening on audio are really missing out.

[C]

This is wild. Yeah, you should be watching this one on YouTube now.

[A]

Were you nervous? You're reading the script. You go, all right, I'm gonna go out for this ride. Roll. I got it. Here we go.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I don't. I feel like I've just become a bit. I. I've done a lot of sex on camera.

[A]

Oh, is that right?

[B]

Us too.

[C]

We just don't act

[A]

so.

[B]

Yeah, I guess I've been just sort of desensitized to it.

[A]

Sure. And then in the background, there's craft services, there's grips and lighting people.

[C]

So there were grips on set too.

[B]

They gave me a little the. The posing where the cox are sock, which they left in my trailer. And I. And I picked it up and it had a little label on the inside with an S on it. I was like, surely you take that. Or just put an L to make me feel better.

[A]

Come on.

[C]

That's hilarious.

[B]

Really sad.

[A]

I'd be like, give me a Christmas stock.

[C]

Well, just behind you, like Jeff, what

[B]

size did you get? Jeff's xl. Yeah, just find that in my ass crack at the end of the day.

[A]

Now, you had the show with your dad. Oh, sorry, sorry.

[B]

That's the only thing I haven't done any sex scenes. Oh, my God. Imagine his like a rugby sock, long and Thin.

[A]

My dad was huge, by the way. He would sleep naked. Huge hog.

[C]

He rocked the shirt and no undies.

[A]

Exactly. He would roll over and it would like. It was like a delay. Like, it flopped.

[C]

Is that from a kid's perspective?

[A]

Maybe, maybe, But I have photos. No, no, but that's the way to

[C]

do it as a dad. You just show your kid your dick when he's, like, really young. And that way it becomes a legend.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Charlie, get in here. Charlie, stay a while.

[A]

I got a one year old, his wallpapers just being naked just so he can really soak it in.

[B]

No, but my dad has, like. Like constantly makes jokes about how I didn't inherit his, you know, his blessed appendage. He's like, that's his bit that he'll do anywhere and everywhere on our show. Every time we go and, you know, go on a podcast or a chat show, it's his, like, root one first point of call, make a joke about how he's insanely hung and that I didn't inherit it.

[A]

It's like his hilarious. That's a cool dad. Or maybe traumatizing. I don't know. I like how your dad's dress.

[B]

Oh, he's done that all the time. Yeah, yeah. Now wears a suit.

[A]

Because this show is very popular. I think they did a couple seasons, right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, we did. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So how do you pitch this? You go, do you think, all right, I'm a comic, but my dad is fucking hilarious for an old guy who's not a comic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you go pitch this to what, Netflix or whatever?

[B]

Well, no, weirdly, the way that working with my dad started is it was always completely sort of accidental because I used to talk about him on stage and he was like a big character in my standup. And eventually I got to the point where I was just like, I can't keep doing jokes about funny shit. My dad said, so I'll try and write a show about something else. But then he was up at the festival, and then someone suggested that we do, like, a little, like, chat show up there at the Edinburgh Festival, where I interview other guests at the festival and he would just sit on stage as almost like a flesh prop. He would just be there and it would be funny that I got my dad up there with me and he would chip in every now and again. Anyway, he was up on stage, obviously, then like, completely took over, undermined me, threw me out of the bars, was asking his own inappropriate questions, and then someone was in the audience from the BBC and they said, oh, we'd love to do this on tv. And he was like, no, no, I'm not a performer, not an actor. I've never done anything. And he was in his, like, late 70s at this point, but I guess he saw the check that they offered him and was like, might as well. Then we did, like, yeah, we did three seasons of a show on the BBC. And then from that, Netflix were like, like, we have an idea for you to do a travel. So they pitched it to us. They were like, we would love you to do a travel series where you take him around the world.

[C]

It's amazing. He did one gig. Like, it's every comic strain. He does one gig and he's like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'll do a show.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The breakthrough in his late 70s, right?

[C]

That's like what you see in a movie. You're like, that's not how it happened. And then that's actually. Wow, that's amazing.

[A]

But that's. You get to spend all that time like, his dad's dead. My dad's ice cold. Like, I could never raise me alive. Yeah. Stepdad or whatever. But, yeah, my dad. I could never do that. If I was on that show.

[C]

He'd just be like, but that might be funny.

[A]

That might be funny.

[B]

That'd be.

[A]

It'd be going, hey, dad, so how was your childhood, huh? Shut up. I'm listening to music. Like, I couldn't. I get nothing out of it. Yeah, but your dad was, like, a natural.

[B]

Yeah, he was really good and really funny. Well, yeah, but then the problem is you sort of, you know, you create a monster because it was like opening Pandora's box. And the minute I put him on tv, I realized he was the funny one and I was the straight man.

[C]

You're probably guiding that. I mean, you have to kind of guide that way.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, a little bit. And I can work out, like, a scene. And, you know, obviously, it's an element of. It is constructed to put him into a funny situation and then, you know, orchestrate a world in which he's gonna say something inappropriate, but he always gets the punchline. So we did all, you know, five seasons of the show, and I'm doing all the work sort of behind the scenes, but he's getting all of the credit. And then every time I walk down the street now, people are like, oh, yeah, how's your dad? He's. He's so much funnier than you. And I'm like, yeah, thanks very much, man.

[A]

Did you get annoyed? Because, like, you know, family gets old after a while. I mean, I'm at my house three days in New Orleans and I'm like, I get the fuck out of here. Was it ever like, I had a

[C]

rat in my apartment last year and my parents were like, stay with us. And I was like, I'm going to chance it with the rats.

[A]

Yeah, exactly, exactly.

[C]

So give it a shot.

[A]

So on set with your dad for five seasons has got to be little grading.

[B]

Yeah, it was quite. They got shorter and shorter. Like, the first time we went away, we were filming for like two months and by the end it was like three weeks. It was quite a long time to sort of be together, like living, you know, in the same hotels, having breakfast, lunch and dinner together every day.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

But I would say the one advantage of like filming something with, you know, sort of snob in his 80s is that you get to do like a filming schedule but like through his lens so you can have all of these demands.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

We're having to work with an 8

[A]

year old, that's great.

[B]

That doesn't want to be here. So, like, you'd have to. Wherever we were in the world, even if we're in like the middle of like, I don't know, a minefield in Cambodia, we'd have to stop at 1:00 clock to go for lunch and it would have to be a cooked lunch and there'd have to be like proper wine and he'd have to have an hour at lunch to have like a nice, nice, decent, civilized luncheon. And then he'd come back at 2, he'd work for two or three more hours and that would be the end of the day. And it was just like it ran like clockwork because we had to be

[A]

like, oh, yeah, he's very old and that's amazing. It's like dating a woman in a wheelchair. Best table. You know, you get to board the flight first. It's incredible. Wow. Good, good little life hack there.

[B]

I just bring an elderly man with me now everywhere just to make sure that I get treated right.

[C]

How did, how did your mom deal with this? What did she think of it?

[B]

Well, she. She used to sort of tag along. She was.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

In the background to sort of manage him because he needed quite a lot of man marking in a lot of those situations.

[A]

Did he ever go, thanks, son, for getting me this famous.

[B]

No, he complained the whole time. I don't want to be doing this. And then he got a, you know, a degree of notoriety. Then he got my mom Involved in it as well. So then she ended up being on camera and then as soon as they could, they ditched me and now they have their own podcast. They just this year went on tour for the first time ever. Is, you know, aged 85. He's doing his first ever tour. I'm not even involved anymore. Because they have their own podcast and they have their own fan base.

[C]

You're talking to PR people. Can they get me on that? He's like, yeah. He's like, man, I know. I'm good.

[B]

Yeah. So, yeah, they've kind of weight.

[C]

I'm the funny one. Use me.

[A]

Damn, that's hilarious.

[B]

Just be careful. You know him and Jeff, your dad

[C]

and Jeff in the orgy. Same thing.

[A]

Power corrupts. All right, well, we got some peeves from Whitehall over here.

[C]

I love, love when people come.

[B]

Oh, peeves.

[A]

That's a big part of our show.

[B]

Oh, I didn't want to do these.

[A]

Okay. Peeves.

[C]

People who don't queue properly.

[A]

That's like a translation. Get in line.

[B]

Get in line. Yeah. Standing in line. People that don't aren't able to line up properly.

[A]

It's.

[C]

It's unacceptable.

[B]

It's. Yeah.

[C]

Diagonal cut in. It's like, come on, that's a big one.

[B]

I really don't like. And people like. When, when, when I can feel like an incorrectly formulated cue occurring, I get very on edge.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When you feel people just joining from the side and it's just. There's no. And no one's doing anything to stop it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That gives me anxiety.

[C]

Have you been to China? Yes, it's exactly like that. It's a big ball of people and one little interest and it just funnels in.

[A]

Well, they'll literally hit them with like a broom, have you seen, on the subway. They'll put them with a stick, like wedge them in there. Crazy.

[B]

We have, obviously in Britain, it's sort of. I think it's like a point of pride that we're quite good at queuing.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And we, I think so much more sort of national sport.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like David Beckham, I genuinely think, got his knighthood, which he'd wanted to get for years because he stood in a line when the Queen died. And there was that. The long line of people to pay their respects. He got so much cuter. So for the fact that even as a high profile celebrity, he stood in line with everyone else. And there was other celebrities like Busty Q barging.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they were like canceled. There was. There were these two television presenters that went Straight to the front of the line. Canceled. Taken off air, lost their show. David Beckham just stood there with everyone

[C]

else, which is what you're supposed to do.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Someone took a picture of it. He got a knighthood. Not for all of the charity work or winning football tournaments.

[C]

How about that stuff with his kid? That's pretty wild, right?

[A]

Are you allowed to talk about that as a countryman?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay, so what happened? His wife dance with their kid too sexily?

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

At a wedding?

[B]

Well, I. I saw that, and I'm like. I think of all the embarrassing my mum and dad have done to me, often on camera on that Netflix show.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, dancing during a wedding. I mean.

[A]

Yeah, and look, you could do worse than Victoria. Becky. Him with a. With a sexy dance.

[C]

Yeah, but if it's your mom, it's still your mom.

[A]

Dude, I'm from the South. Wait, is it. This can't be it. That's nothing.

[B]

No, that's. That's. I think there's another dance.

[A]

Oh, when I did my. Oh, boy.

[B]

No, that's AI doing too much AI.

[C]

No, there's AI.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

All right. Come on.

[C]

All right.

[A]

I don't get why this is. This was, like, a big deal for a hot minute.

[B]

When I did my show in Vegas, I took my mom and dad to Vegas for travels with my father. I tricked my dad into going to Magic Mike, and I told him it was a magician, and he was sat there in the front row. And then my mum was there, and she ended up getting up on stage and was being, you know, lifted up.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Topless Don?

[A]

No, thank you.

[C]

That happened to me. I did a gig with an ex of mine, and. And she went up there, and we were kind of having problems. We were, like, at the point where it was at point of no return already. And then I was just watching a guy, like, humper on stage, just like, this isn't helping.

[A]

No, no, thank you.

[C]

This isn't great.

[A]

And the mom, though, that's even weirder because you're like, this is a nice, sweet lady here. Don't defile her. She's wearing big red glasses.

[C]

That's what they do. They defile.

[A]

They defile the defilers.

[B]

Don't ruin this experience for me.

[A]

Me didn't help that she came.

[B]

I mean, I don't know. These are parents who.

[C]

Screen shame.

[A]

What?

[C]

So that's like. You're looking at your phone too much.

[B]

Yeah. Or like, giving you. Screens are amazing.

[A]

They're so good.

[C]

Thanks for watching us, guys.

[B]

No, we just like. I mean, the amount of sort of social situations recently that I've been saved by the presence of an iPad or

[A]

a phone that I can just.

[B]

Bit of Peppa Pig and just get my toddler to just stop causing chaos and, like, embarrassing me publicly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The idea of not being able to do that would just horrify me. I don't know how parents did it

[A]

before, but you can't go 24:7 screen.

[B]

No, just a bit of screen.

[A]

A bit of screen.

[B]

But, yeah, I get that.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I do movies with my kid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't. I don't get him an iPhone, but I'll do a movie with them. Yeah, I feel like that's a little better. Yeah. It's a allotted amount of time. There's an ending to it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But sometimes I feel like, here you go, kiddo. Play with this. It's. You'll never get it back. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Gives him his iPad. You're gonna watch the Mule with Clint Eastwood today.

[A]

Is that Jeff?

[C]

Strange choice.

[B]

Also, maybe with some of the stuff that you google, that's quite dangerous.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, good point.

[B]

Who's this Shawn Michaels?

[C]

Shit. It's not the wrestling clip.

[A]

No.

[B]

It's a different time.

[A]

People.

[C]

People who get too keen on running.

[B]

Well, that's a January thing, I guess,

[C]

right now, like, I'm gonna turn my life around. It's January.

[B]

Yeah. I just think running is interesting. Yeah, I like running. I run. I go. I run a lot. But anyone that wants to talk to me about how far I've run or where I've run or how fast I

[C]

run, it's not good conversation.

[B]

Oh, it's dark.

[C]

You're gonna do it.

[A]

Do it.

[C]

But no one wants to hear your fucking jog stories, you know?

[A]

Yeah, I don't want to sign up for your marathon either. All this sponsor me, you go run,

[B]

or a half marathon.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

They want a whole sponsorship.

[C]

And also, by the way, not eat. 12 miles, whatever. 13 miles. Not easy. But also, like, I don't give a.

[A]

I don't give a either. It's one foot in front of the other. It's already free.

[C]

Just exercise and extra.

[B]

Just do it.

[C]

You don't need to. Unless it's your job. Like, if you're like, one of those fitness influencers. Yeah, do that. But if you're not, that, I don't give a fuck.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

Even like ultra marathons and endurance events and things like that. I'm like, yeah, just go and do that, by all means, but don't tell me about it.

[A]

Yeah. If I last eight minutes in bed, I'm not bragging about it. You just do it. Yeah.

[C]

Because it never happens. No, but that is the thing, though. You realize, like, that is so much work. If we did it, it probably would become our personality.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, a Iron man, like, what is that? That's crazy, right?

[A]

Right.

[C]

A tough mudder. What do they call them?

[A]

Yeah, tough mudders.

[B]

That's what you would want to tell people.

[C]

That's what Norman Bates had.

[B]

Tough mudder.

[A]

This is a lot different than the Rachel ratio, I assume, just from the videos we've seen alone.

[C]

So Ironman is 2.4 mile swim, 112 miles on a bike, and then a marathon, a 26.2 mile run. That's insane.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah. I did an ultramarathon once by accident. I.

[A]

What?

[B]

My friend was doing this, like, by accident?

[A]

Well, yeah.

[B]

No, well, the ultra marathon element was by accident because my friend was doing this insane challenge where he was, like, setting off from London and then they were doing three marathons back to back, and then rowing across the Channel and cycling to the Alps. And they were like, can you do some of it? And I was like, absolutely not. And they were like, please, you just. Just come for one, like, leg of the journey. What would be the easiest bet? And they said. Said the third marathon, because everyone will be exhausted because they would have just run two marathons and you don't have to run it. You can walk it. So I was like, fine, I'll do that.

[C]

Sneaking in.

[B]

So I just sneak in, but then I start the marathon. And then about halfway through, they were like, oh, yeah, by the way, we got rerouted yesterday, so we had to take off a couple of miles. So we're having to add them to this marathon. So then they added an extra, like, three miles to this marathon that I accidentally said that I would do what

[C]

I had to do.

[B]

Yeah, I had to do like, 29 miles.

[A]

What'd that take?

[B]

Yeah, I mean, my time was like six hours or something. I was walking a lot of it, but again. And also I felt too awkward to go and ask anyone for any sponsorship or. Yeah, talk about it.

[C]

So 29 miles.

[B]

It sucks.

[A]

Do you have an ipod going? I mean, ipod. What year is it? Do you have a AirPod airport? Yeah, like a podcast. Give me a couple of people.

[C]

Must have listened to this pod while we're in a marathon.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

It's probably gotten through that final couple of hours.

[A]

Yeah. You know, there you go. Shawn Michaels. I just realized they should do that to get in the country. That should be the new immigrant, like citizenship. Citizenship. Like you do the swim through the channel, you know, run 12 miles, get on a bike. If you get into America after all that, we'll take you. We'll take you because it shows that you're fit, you're young enough, the stamina.

[C]

What if they already swam here from Cuba, though?

[A]

I'll count it. Yeah, that counts. That's burden. I think we got some here. That should be the admission process.

[B]

When you said that, initially I thought you were referencing the Shawn Michaels thing, and I was like, oh, yeah, you

[C]

have to suck a good dick.

[A]

That's not bad either. That'll be the women, and the men will be the. The iron man.

[B]

I don't think I'll try that immigration the next time.

[A]

It'll be an amazing country to live in.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

If you got to leave the country, why not? You didn't air tickle the balls.

[B]

Yeah, that's good.

[A]

Good stuff.

[B]

Good stuff.

[C]

What else we got for any more peeves?

[B]

I had no more peeves.

[A]

Oh, you had the toast. You had a toast or something. That was. Go back to. Jesus Christ. Go back to what's happening here, Rex. That's what I meant.

[B]

Look, with Nat and I movie.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

Holy. That's crazy. That's crazy.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

I was literally going between that and a couple of them other movies last night. I was like, two. I got two people saying, this is good this week. Let me give it a shot.

[A]

I liked it. Yeah. Wait a minute. British. British food influencers. Yeah, it's me. That British food.

[B]

No, this is great. Well, no, it's not. And this is why I become obsessed with, you know, the way, like, you watch one thing and then suddenly the algorithm is audits.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

And there was one guy who was like a British food influencer. He's called Eating with Tubs. And he went viral because he had this gravy that honestly looked like cement, and he was pouring over his roast dinner. And I'm mean it. Absolutely gross.

[A]

Pull up the gravy.

[B]

All I get is, like, these sort of anti food influence. Not anti food influencers. They are food influencers, but they're just British food influencers. So it's British. Oh, there's tubs.

[A]

There's tubs. Look at that gravy. It's like two girls, one plate. Holy hell. It's insane. It looks like chocolate.

[B]

It looks like chocolate.

[C]

Was this dude in that bath house with You,

[B]

Jeff.

[A]

That looks like Roku.

[C]

Oh, my God. That is nasty.

[A]

Wow, that looks great. I love gravy.

[B]

It's too thick, dude.

[A]

I'm on it. Thicker the better.

[B]

You. You would. You'd like that gravy.

[A]

I would love it.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Put that right in my ass.

[B]

But there's. Oh, yeah, that's.

[C]

This guy drives me mad.

[B]

That's Bevo. He's the one that eats it with. In. What. What does he do? Oh, yeah, he eats food without chewing it. No.

[A]

Yuck. Just about. Guys got crazy veneers. What the.

[B]

Who else do we have? We have eating with Todd, who's massive in.

[A]

In.

[B]

In the uk.

[A]

He's okay.

[B]

He. Oh, he's just a glass. He's like the biggest food influence in the uk. Like, he goes to a restaurant and then it's just. You can't book a table for love.

[A]

No one, really. You just.

[B]

It's a glutton.

[C]

That must go to your head too.

[B]

Yeah, he's got some power.

[C]

Now, do these guys have any background in food or they're just people who like food?

[B]

I think they're just people that like eating food. I don't. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, I've seen this guy.

[B]

Yeah, this guy's massive.

[A]

Wow. He looks like he's doing the leg work. He's going to these crazy places. He's traveling. Look at this guy. He's out on the. He's boots on the ground.

[C]

You're meeting the cow you're going to eat. That's kind of a bummer.

[A]

Works at a brothel. I need to.

[C]

I need to break bread with the lobster I'm about to eat.

[B]

Want to see that?

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Remember Richard, Jenny's joke about that? The lobster tank? He goes. They all have that look on their face like, any word from the governor?

[A]

Great joke.

[B]

What's the guy. My. My takeaway, I think he's called. He sets up a table outside kebab shops in England.

[A]

Oh, fuck.

[B]

Rate my takeaway. Rate my takeaway.

[C]

Rate my takeaway in London is the kebabs.

[B]

Yeah. But this guy, he does it in the north of England and he sets up a table outside like a fish and chip. And then he. Yeah, he's amazing. So I'm about to do this awards show when I go back, like, our version of the Grammys. And one of my ideas, because it's gone up north for the first time ever, is just to get this guy and stick him in the room, like next to, you know, Bruno Mars on a table.

[A]

Great.

[B]

Like, he just sets up his fault. Up.

[C]

People would know him. He's huge over there.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's. He's.

[A]

It's only kebab, or does he do everything?

[B]

He'll do a kebab or a fish and. Fish and chip shop or pie.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

And he'll just set up his table and set up outside.

[A]

I love this.

[B]

I'm gonna rate your takeaway. Look at this.

[A]

This is great. Suck at portnoy. Yeah, that's a lot of chips.

[B]

But this is. My algorithm is just all this. Me too. It's this guy eating kebabs outside.

[C]

I get a lot of this stuff.

[B]

Table, table. Or the man with the really thick gravy.

[A]

Yeah, a lot of people.

[C]

A lot of burgers that have an egg on them, and they're like. They're slicing, and the yolk just goes over. You're like, all right. A lot of dudes eating sandwiches in the car. I get a lot of that.

[A]

I see. That's the American influencer with the food. We're too lazy. These guys are going out there, they're doing the work. Our guys sit in the car or

[C]

just, like, the guy who eats at lunch. Have you seen that guy?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

He's like, this is my lunch today. And it's just a guy.

[B]

He just eats or just in the car. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

We have a lot of those.

[B]

There's a lot of those now.

[A]

I don't like the.

[B]

They. They pay those people, right?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

They launch a new product now.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Because every once in a while, you can tell. They're like, man, KFC is really good. And you're like, oh, this is an ad. I think they're on everything else. You're like, no, but this. This is good. This is real chicken, dude.

[B]

But in a way, though, like, those food influences that I watch, I think are quite. I mean, it's like, online is empic, because they just make me not want to eat food.

[A]

Good point. Yeah.

[B]

I see that gravy, and I'm like, I think I'm good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To ever.

[C]

But when it's like, good restauran on ste. Same with the pizza. I see those portnoy things pop up, and I'm like, I want pizza.

[A]

They look damn good.

[B]

Yeah, that's what. That's why I'm saying you just watch the British food influences.

[C]

But isn't food in London kind of taking a big step up?

[B]

I think so.

[A]

Well, the Indians helped it. I think that's.

[B]

Yeah, I think that's the advantage of being Colonizers is that we just went

[A]

around the world and that's the move.

[B]

Spices.

[C]

Those Vietnamese sandwiches are so good.

[A]

The French. That bread. Yeah, bread.

[C]

Hell yeah.

[A]

It's true.

[C]

What's a spice bag?

[B]

A spice bag is.

[A]

That's what Shawn Michaels is sickly.

[B]

The spice bag, I think is like chips with car. I think it's everything in there. Yeah. The other ones.

[A]

Is there meat in there too? Google.

[B]

There's meat in there.

[C]

Oh, yeah, Google.

[B]

Yeah. I think that's your job exactly.

[C]

No, I've seen these though.

[A]

The spice bag.

[B]

Yeah, that's become something. It's French fries with.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Like Chinese.

[A]

Oh, that looks amazing on it.

[B]

They're pretty good. The munchie box as well is pretty incredible. That's the Scottish one. Very popular in Glasgow where it's just like everything in a pizza box. So you go to a kebab shop and then they just shove in, like all of it.

[C]

What do they call this one in Rochester, man?

[A]

Garbage plate.

[C]

Garbage plate.

[A]

That looks incredible. Imagine you were drunk and high. Oh, my God. That's like seeing curly fries are so underrated.

[B]

Oh, the fries are so good.

[A]

Especially with the seasoning on there. Yeah, look at that. You got coleslaw, wings, pizza, fries. Looks like some halal meat on the left.

[C]

Yeah, that's a Super Bowl.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[C]

For a party off.

[A]

But I mean, you're gonna have a miscarriage. I mean, this is.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

I made a snackadium once.

[A]

I come again.

[B]

A snackium. That was an American thing.

[C]

Snack 80.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Type in Jack Whitehall snackadium. I think I posted it online. I was told that this was an American tradition that you do for the Super Bowl. What stadium out of food.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

All I know is just wings and pieces.

[B]

Images. Images. Yeah. I think it'll be on images. Yeah.

[C]

There.

[B]

I made that this year.

[A]

Uno.

[B]

A couple of years ago.

[A]

That.

[C]

Holy shit.

[A]

You made that? Yes. That's incredible.

[B]

Yeah, it's like got la sliders and what? Deep fried tater tots and that's an avocado.

[C]

You threw a real party here.

[B]

I know. It's just me. Just me at home at like 4 o' clock in the morning. Oh, tubs gonna ruin my way through that. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that is Tubbs esque.

[A]

Well, so is that lettuce in the middle for the field, the grain, that's avocado.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

This must have cost $10,000.

[B]

It looks like it, right? Yeah, it's pretty impressive. And then those were like the pepper army sticks. That I fashioned into the posts.

[A]

This is where the terrorists are in angry. Because we're doing this over here.

[B]

That's America.

[A]

Hell, yeah. Look at that. I mean, I could feed a family of. Of 100 people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we're just taking photos of it, making it for fun. Wow. Good on you, Whitehall. Thank you.

[C]

Very impressive.

[A]

You look like Jack Skellington here. What's the. You drinking ale? You're eating snack idioms. You're watching.

[C]

You have a good metabolism. He runs. You said, though.

[A]

All right. Okay.

[B]

I just. I just do an ultramarathon every day.

[A]

Day.

[B]

I just.

[C]

And gay sex. That does burn some calories.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And it burns.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, you're in hell of a la. Must have got to you. You're in good shape.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

How.

[C]

How do you deal with LA coming from London? What do you. What do you make of it?

[B]

I think sort of less is more.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Dip in, dip out.

[A]

The driving the phony.

[B]

Well, I don't drive. Drive.

[C]

Oh, can you not drive?

[B]

Walk around LA as well, which is insane.

[C]

What part of town are you in?

[B]

Well, I'm. Last time I was there, I was in Venice beach, which is not an area you want to wander around.

[A]

Yeah. A lot of RVs. Yeah.

[B]

So, no, I. I don't know. Would you not like.

[C]

I don't hate it, but I think extended periods are tough for me there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. It's not a real place, you know, like every. It's all built on showbiz. No one's actually from there. There's too much going on. But it's fun for a week.

[B]

Yeah. Fun. Fun to dip in and dip out of.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What's this? Charlie and the chocolate?

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I was doing four in a bed. I was anticipating four in a bed.

[B]

Well, this sounds like another orgy, but what is it?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

What is it? This is just like British tv, daytime television that I really like. Four in the bed with me. They're both sort of similar shows and they're just like, like, like shows that are just orchestrated for people to be like dicks. The four in a bed is like four sets of people that all. All own like, little hotels or like bed and breakfast. And then they all go and stay in each other's bed and breakfast. But then the premise of the show is that you're meant to like, mark down each other's bed and breakfast or hotel, but they're all like small, like family run businesses. And it just encourages everyone to be a real like, like, cunt. Cause you have to go there and just like dig around and try and find things to complain about. And you know, they always find like a little bit of dust in the cupboard and then mark them down for that or say that.

[C]

So they get rewarded for bringing them down.

[B]

Yeah, they get rewarded for bringing down someone else's like small business. And then at the end you're given like a little tray of cash. And then the same is true with Come Dine With Me which is the same premise but for like dinner parties where you go around to a different person's house each night of the week and then at the end you have to score them down and then. But it just encourages people to be a horrible guest.

[A]

Wow. So this is reality.

[B]

It's reality. It's so cheap. But it's just like a real fixture of British television and you go around and you've just gotta be really snipey and rude about like an evening out and then you score them at the end.

[A]

Oh, my wife would love this.

[C]

It's interesting cause like Great British Bake Off. I feel like they're so nice.

[B]

Yeah, that's really warm hearted and really nice.

[C]

But then you see chop or not chop. But what's the other way? You always think of British people like a Gordon Ramsay, a guy who's gonna

[A]

like carry the shred.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. No, this just encourages like just really. There's a really famous clip of a guy getting really annoyed because his dinner party had been like torn to shreds by everyone else and someone else wins the tray of cash at the end.

[C]

And can we get that clip?

[B]

Such a good heather.

[C]

Shocked.

[B]

No, wait, wait, wait. Go on. Maybe videos or images and I'll find it.

[C]

I wrote crashes out.

[B]

No, no, no, that, that, that's the man there. I think we put angry man on Come Dine With Me and it's like one of those, it's like a famous sort of viral clip. That man. Yes. You won Jane.

[A]

Oh, he gets hey JANG out of me.

[B]

You won J. Oh my God. Enjoy the money. I hope it makes you very happy. Dear Lord, what a sad little life. J. You ruined my life completely. So you could have the money. But I hope now you spend it on getting some lessons in grace and decorum. Damn race of a reversing dump truck without any tires on.

[C]

Woo.

[A]

Wow. Dang.

[B]

Oh, they look to cameras.

[A]

You've got a young John Oliver in there. So. Well done Jane.

[B]

You won Jane.

[C]

There was some good insults. Decorum of a backed up dump truck. Truck without tires.

[A]

Wow. Kept going with the. Was he Nick?

[C]

The. That was like one line after another.

[A]

Yeah. Wait, before. Before you go. Do you do your tours? But what do you hate about America?

[B]

This is Jack White.

[C]

Jeez, you were really slipping between the gay porn and. No, that was intentional.

[A]

We got a real boomer back there. All right, what do you hate about America? Real quick. Come on, give it to me straight. I'm just curious. What's the zing on us? We zing you guys? The bad food, the bad teeth, the weather. You know, the royalty sucks.

[C]

London doesn't have bad food anymore, though.

[A]

All right, all right.

[C]

I think it's gotten good.

[B]

I don't know. I feel like right now we're just very thankful for you.

[A]

What?

[C]

Really?

[B]

You're taking a lot of heat. It's just like, you know, no matter what, we're getting the shit, like in the uk. Just turn on the news and look

[A]

at what's going over here.

[B]

It feels great.

[A]

Good point.

[B]

Because we had, like, a bit of a moment with Brexit where it felt like, you know, our country was just sort of a bit of a laughing stock. And coinage and then guys have gone to hold my beer.

[A]

Yeah, good point.

[B]

Really great.

[A]

All right, I'll take it. What does it say? Every cul de sac has a dead end. There you go.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

All right. All right, I'll pull those dates up. Sorry. I thought we'd get something more vicious about America.

[B]

Okay. Sorry.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

After seeing what you like to watch, I thought you're going to be like, your country's like a reverse dump truck.

[B]

Reversing dump truck. C Jack Live. Oh, God. Yeah, that is currently on.

[C]

Not currently on.

[B]

Torch says no, I might do at some point.

[A]

Oh, okay. Well, keep checking. Keep checking every day.

[B]

Keep checking. Maybe I. Maybe I will do it.

[A]

And watch the burbs on Peacock.

[B]

Watch the burbs there. That's definitely coming out on. On Peacock. So you could watch the.

[A]

That. All right. Very exciting. And you got to get picked up for a season two, Right? That's the goal.

[B]

I guess so.

[A]

Okay. Hopefully. Hopefully, yeah.

[B]

They leave it open at the end, so there could be more. There's my face areas. Yeah.

[C]

Do you want to spend more time in America? Are you like. This is good.

[A]

Good question.

[B]

Yeah, no, I would like to spend.

[C]

I'd like.

[B]

Yeah. If it got picked up again, a couple of months in la, in sort of January, February, it would be pretty nice.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

But, yeah.

[A]

Sorry about Ellen. She moved out there.

[B]

She moved out there.

[C]

She came back.

[A]

She came back I think she, I

[C]

think they were like, we don't want her.

[B]

She's in the English countryside, isn't she?

[A]

Oh, yeah, I saw her.

[B]

I saw her in the English countryside.

[C]

When do you see it?

[B]

Yeah, I was, I was in some random hotel in the Cotswolds and I walked past. I was like, I swear that's Ellen.

[C]

Did you say what's up to her?

[B]

I didn't. I did do her show once when I was very young. I was one of those, like, sort of people that they'd, like, plucked out of obscurity. I'd only been doing stand up for a couple years of years and I was like, I guess this sort of interesting anomaly because I was, I don't know, 19, 20 and I went on the Ellen show and I remember I didn't have many bits, but I did have one routine about KFC and I was really excited to do that. And then they said, oh, no, you can't do that because she won't have any mention of meat products on the show because she's a vegan.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I think that's how veganism works. Like, she is aware that, like, chicken is.

[A]

Exists. Yeah.

[B]

I'm not going to be the one that like, lets her know about KFC and then that's going to be what, you know, you know, bumps her off the, off the rails.

[A]

But yeah, you can still talk about men. She doesn't eat men.

[B]

Well, no, they also said you can't talk lesbianism. Bring that up.

[C]

This long bit about you can't.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but, yeah, she lives in the British countryside now.

[C]

Sorry, how was, how was she on the show? Was she, was she nice to you or.

[B]

No, yeah, she was nice. Yeah. But I, you know, I was like, I only met her like when I walked out onto the, onto the set.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And I was a kid, so I think she was probably.

[C]

She walked off set and kicked the dog, went to a green room and smacked an assistant.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Comfort. Ate a bucket of kfc.

[A]

Used to have a lot of Schumer on. Real young. She had a lot of young comics on back in the day. I don't know.

[C]

Yeah, you were on, you were on Fallon. Pretty young, weren't you?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did. I, yeah, did. Found that was my, my next TV appearance on. On us.

[A]

What about British or American comedy? Sorry, what about American comedy? You guys hate it?

[B]

No, I love America.

[A]

All right. American comedy is great.

[B]

This guy.

[A]

Oh, sorry, sorry, my fault. I didn't know you had to go. My bad. All right. Where are you gonna be there, Sammy?

[B]

Well, when.

[C]

When is this coming out?

[A]

Do these after he leaves.

[C]

Yeah, we'll do my after.

[A]

Oh, get the hell out of here.

[C]

Get out here. You got to go.

[A]

Do.

[B]

Go. I can plug it.

[A]

What?

[B]

I can plug your dates. Yeah, I'll tell you. Sam's going to be in Stamford.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

Those are all sold out.

[B]

They're sold out. So if you're lucky.

[A]

If you are.

[B]

East Providence. These can't all be sold out.

[C]

They're sold out. It's a small venue.

[B]

Early show and late show. Tampa, Florida.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You're not as popular in Tampa.

[C]

Well, yeah, that one, I think. February 26th. I think we're February 26th.

[B]

There are still tickets. That's a special taping show.

[C]

Special taping.

[B]

That's a special taping as well. So you can be on Netflix.

[C]

Tickets available for LA.

[B]

Tickets are available for LA.

[C]

May 7 with Joe List, Rachel Feinstein and Jordan Jensen. And then. And then Lisbon, August 30th, and I'm adding a bunch of European dates. That's just the first one to go on sale.

[A]

But Lisbon, the most. The prettiest city I've ever been to, hands down. Yeah. So look forward to that one.

[C]

I can't wait.

[A]

That's a great little town.

[B]

Legal drugs and prostitution institution.

[A]

Is that right?

[C]

Really?

[B]

Wait, I think that's right. You should definitely check.

[A]

Double check out that.

[C]

Can you do marks now?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Good luck with these names, Mark.

[B]

You can see in Flagstaff, Arizona. Nice theater. You can go to another venue in Arizona. Suharita, Indianapolis. There'll be two shows there. An early and a late one and. And a third and fourth show.

[C]

I like the way he does that.

[B]

Very popular in the Buffalo area. Come along to Buffalo, New York. He'll be in the wonderful city of Portland.

[C]

Portland? What?

[B]

Memphis? Got a lot of Portland's. Providence as well. Rhode Island.

[C]

This makes our show sound more dignified.

[B]

Masterpiece in Lexington, Kentucky. Dania beach in Florida. We love Dania beach in Florida.

[C]

I do like it.

[B]

Rayleigh.

[A]

Raleigh. Raleigh, Sir Arthur. Raleigh. In New Cross, Newcastle, North Carolina.

[B]

North Carolina. Also in Los Angeles at the world famous Comedy Store, Moncton, Nebraska.

[A]

We don't know that one.

[B]

We don't know where that is.

[A]

Brunswick. It's in Canada. Wow. Nowhere.

[C]

How about this?

[B]

Bakanki? Yeah. Washington. Washington. You'll be there in Philadelphia. You're a busy man. Philadelphia.

[C]

Really doesn't want to see this kid.

[A]

Yeah,

[B]

just do it like Harry styles. Just do 30 nights in New York and let them come to you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

At this point, you don't want to go to Brookfield, Wisconsin, or Irvin, California.

[A]

Yeah. Irvine.

[B]

Irvine. Irvine Improv. That's a good club.

[A]

All right, we're off in the gym. They can read the phone book. Fun. So, yeah. Thanks, Jack. That was great. Yeah.

[C]

And I check out his show on Peacock.

[A]

Thank you. I've had a little too much burping? And Norman's talking shit about the poke? And I get down in the same way? Up on the roof like a Kyle? Cops coming and naked Samuel is feeling dangerous? I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans? This woman doesn't look like I remember her? And I get down in the same way? We might be true.