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Mark Normand
Van Corona's a guy you could tag.
Sam Morril
Oh, he's good.
Mark Normand
He's Good.
Sam Morril
All these LA photographers were leading off. Yeah. 12 bad photos of me. Why are we doing this?
Mark Normand
I know. It's like the beginning of Batman.
Producer/Photographer
It's like a fun house innovation in this field because otherwise it's just sort of like this picture over and over again.
Mark Normand
Sure.
Producer/Photographer
So I'm thankful to the Van Coronas of the world that do this sort of thing.
Mark Normand
This is a little over top, but
Sam Morril
like, you know, it's clever, but it's just a lot.
Mark Normand
Yeah, it's like when the newspaper spins in an old movie.
Sam Morril
Yeah. Yeah. That was a wild week in la, man. Are you still a little burnt out from it?
Mark Normand
A little. But I'm back. I'm back. A lot of drinking, Lot of drinking. And then we were so busy, we had a full dance card. We'd wake up, podcast at 10:30 in the morning, then we'd have another one at 1, then shows that night.
Sam Morril
Then that Netflix brunch.
Mark Normand
Oh, the brunch.
Sam Morril
The brunch was crazy.
Mark Normand
I could do an hour on the brunch.
Sam Morril
I mean, talking to Sarandos.
Mark Normand
Nice guy, great guy. Hell of a Greek. Cool guy. Great place. He's got like a Shangri La over there. Yeah. And beautiful tent. Horrible food. Come on, Ted.
Sam Morril
The food grew on me. He was pandering with that menu a little bit.
Mark Normand
A little bit.
Sam Morril
I mean, you got the fried chicken, you got the fucking waffles.
Mark Normand
Yeah, yeah.
Sam Morril
If they had grape soda, I would have been like, dude, come on, give
Producer/Photographer
me some details about the schmooze there.
Sam Morril
That, that, that fucking. Those waffles were good, though.
Mark Normand
Very good waffle.
Sam Morril
I could do an hour on the waffles. No, the schmooze was crazy. I mean, it was a real who's who everyone. You could Letterman, Eddie Murphy, Sandler, Seinfeld, Rock Chappelle. Yeah.
Producer/Photographer
Did people click up or were they all mixing?
Mark Normand
There was some mixing.
Sam Morril
It was very high school. And then when you're talking to one of the big dogs, it does feel like you're talking to a hot chick in a bar and people just swarm for you to fuck up.
Mark Normand
Oh, yeah.
Sam Morril
You know, like when we were talking to Sandler, they were circling us like vultures.
Mark Normand
Totally, totally. And you feel like it's like rare air. You're like, oh, my God. You get it for a second and he goes away. You're like, woo. That was crazy.
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah, it was crazy. And then that picture was pretty. A lot of drama. In the picture.
Mark Normand
Oh, my God.
Sam Morril
They're pushing us all in. They take that one big group photo, and, you know, we're all just like, just fucking take it.
Mark Normand
I know. It grossed me out watching people inch their way to the front so they could be more relevant. You look at me, I'm the exact last guy in the photo.
Sam Morril
I'm in the corner.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
I'm like, if you want to crop me out, go for it.
Mark Normand
Right?
Sam Morril
There was a couple, and there's always those, like, climbers at the thing.
Mark Normand
Yes.
Sam Morril
Like, oh, you're. Oh, what are we doing? A little bodega and soda.
Mark Normand
Ooh. Nothing wrong with that.
Sam Morril
Cheers.
Mark Normand
Hey, it's good to be back in the Big Apple.
Sam Morril
Yeah, that's good.
Mark Normand
If you zoom in, Sam's getting pushed out of the show business. Where am I?
Sam Morril
Right? Yeah. There I am.
Mark Normand
You got. You got Ronnie Chang, Spade, you got Spade was.
Sam Morril
Spade was singing. Yeah.
Mark Normand
Some good people near you. I got Dumb Faheem.
Producer/Photographer
There's Mark Way.
Mark Normand
That's because I. I felt weird climbing.
Sam Morril
I just went where they told me to go. I was like, just wherever you want to put me.
Mark Normand
Yeah. I was not even at the party at that point.
Producer/Photographer
As a photographer, I'm interested in how this was made.
Mark Normand
It's bleachers, circular bleachers. And then they asked it to throw a ball.
Producer/Photographer
Now, did they say, ronny Chang, you stand here, or did you not really get in there?
Sam Morril
Why does he have bleachers in his home? Dog fighting. We all felt it.
Mark Normand
Come on, cockfight.
Sam Morril
But no, it was crazy, man. All these. Look at all these, like, jelly roll. Bill Simmons is in there.
Mark Normand
Yeah. What the hell? Those two aren't funny. There's Jeff Garland for that. All right.
Sam Morril
Garland wants on the pod.
Mark Normand
Oh, great.
Sam Morril
St me on the way out, he's.
Mark Normand
We can just put cardboard cutouts of us and have him do the target.
Sam Morril
What else?
Producer/Photographer
The ball toss. Did they do this four times? Cuz I imagine somebody's face was covered.
Sam Morril
I was like, I'm not doing this.
Mark Normand
I think we did two or three. Two or three ball tosses. Yeah. It was well done. It was a big rig with a tripod. Yeah.
Sam Morril
Yeah. And then, I mean, we got to tell the Jerry story. That was awesome.
Mark Normand
Oh, which one were. I bombed.
Sam Morril
Yeah. We're talking to Jerry and Janelle James comes over and she goes, introduce me. So I kind of find an opening. I go, jerry, this is a very funny comedian. And Mar goes, monique. And Jerry just goes, not funny.
Mark Normand
Not because that's not funny. It's the exact opposite of what you want to hear.
Sam Morril
We all laugh when he laughs.
Mark Normand
She laughed too.
Sam Morril
She laughed. And then, you know. But Jerry loves you for. I mean, I feel like he. It was like a big brother type thing where he's like, he loves you. You can't help. Wasn't like, actually like, fuck you. It was more like, God damn it, Mark.
Mark Normand
Yeah, exactly.
Sam Morril
It was more like brotherly.
Mark Normand
Totally. He gets it. He gets it. But she laughed. All good. It's a joke at the end of the day. And then we gotta talk about the wife who might have a crush on you, by the way.
Sam Morril
No, I don't think so.
Mark Normand
There was something in the air.
Sam Morril
I turned down a flight on the pj. Dude.
Mark Normand
Well, tell the whole story. Give them the context.
Sam Morril
They. They come over. They said, you want to. She goes, you want to fly back with us tomorrow morning on the private jet? And I was just like, hell, yes. And, Marcos, it was an empty gesture. And I go, I don't think it was empty.
Mark Normand
Well, hold on, hold on. She goes, you guys want to come back on the jet? And she goes, I have your number. I'll text you. And I'm like, oh, my God, Sam's in. But she doesn't have my number. Yeah, and I was flying back at 8am already, but you had another gig, so you couldn't do it.
Sam Morril
I had Julian Edelman's podcast, and you can't bail on your boy. No. So I.
Mark Normand
So I needed the flight. But you got the offer.
Sam Morril
But then you couldn't do the flight anyway, because.
Mark Normand
That's true. I forgot my passport like an idiot, so I had to fly on a red eye.
Sam Morril
But he says it was an empty gesture. And then she texts me, are you coming?
Producer/Photographer
Wow.
Sam Morril
So it wasn't empty?
Mark Normand
No.
Sam Morril
Neither of us got to do the private jet, but we got the offer.
Mark Normand
We got the. And she DM me.
Sam Morril
Did she? What?
Mark Normand
She said. She said it was only for Sam. Yeah, no, she said, huh.
Producer/Photographer
What time did she DM?
Mark Normand
Probably like 10pm or so. I think she was like, oh, I offered to him. I have his number. I don't have his number. Let me dm. So it wasn't empty, So I took it all. We both got an offer, but again, she offered. I don't even know if Jerry wanted us.
Sam Morril
Yeah, if we. If we pull up and he's just like, Exactly.
Mark Normand
I kept picturing that. So, fine, we just show up at
Sam Morril
8am let's bounce some bits. He just takes a gun out, right, dude? Yeah. No, that would have been a long. It's a long flight.
Mark Normand
Yeah, for sure.
Sam Morril
I've never hung out with Jerry for that long, so I would be a little nervous.
Mark Normand
And there's nowhere to go. He can't really get away.
Sam Morril
But he's also very direct. Like, if he's like, I want to go to sleep, he'd just go. Or if he'd be like, I feel like reading the paper. I feel like you could just do your own thing.
Mark Normand
Totally, totally.
Sam Morril
It wouldn't have been that bad.
Mark Normand
No, no. I would have loved to do it.
Sam Morril
I would have.
Mark Normand
Love to. We appreciate it.
Sam Morril
Awesome offer.
Mark Normand
Yeah. So I'm sitting around the Comedy Store and I'm like, ah, my flight's at 8am you're already pissed off because it means you got to get to the airport at 7. It's in Inglewood. You got to leave at 6, you got to wake up at 5:30, you want to kill yourself. And then I'm checking in, scan, passport. Oh, yeah.
Sam Morril
You've only been doing this 20 years. He doesn't know to bring a fucking passport to Canada.
Mark Normand
No passport. So I told my agent, he's like, the only thing you can do is fly back on a red eye, get your passport, and then get back on a flight to Canada. I love, I love that.
Sam Morril
These agents always do it. All you have to do is suffer for a few days. I'm still taking my percentage.
Mark Normand
Exactly.
Sam Morril
We're doing the fucking grunt work.
Mark Normand
Yes.
Sam Morril
They have no problem telling you to not sleep for two days.
Mark Normand
And how about Bobby Lee? He's like, cancel it. I'm like, the gig's in eight hours. It's sold out. It's a casino. I gotta do it. He's like, no passport. Cancel it. So I still did it. Suck it, Bobby. This ain't mad TV anymore. Some of us need to work.
Sam Morril
You're a fucking animal. You have to.
Mark Normand
I had to do it.
Sam Morril
You can't bail on the sold out gig.
Mark Normand
But now I land in New York at 8am I'm like, I go home,
Sam Morril
sleep at all on the flight.
Mark Normand
Well, that's the other thing. So I was like, I got to get some sleep. We haven't slept in three days. We've been drinking for a week. I got to get some sleep. So I go around the Comedy Store. I'm like, anybody here got some Xanax? And they're all like, talk to Reggie, he's the drug guy. So there's a squirrely, squirrely.
Sam Morril
Blondies are back, baby. Yeah, you want some fucking drugs? He Goes, comedy club, you're getting them.
Mark Normand
I talked to this young kid, he's like a 21 year old door guy at the store, and I go, hey, I heard you're the drug guy. He goes, I got some kalanipin. I go, great. He goes, but it's at my house. And I go, that's no good. So there's a fan over here. He overhears everything and he goes, I'll drive. So the kid goes, I guess I can take my break. We jump in the dirtiest car I've ever been in my life. I'm pushing trash out of the way. I'm in the back seat.
Sam Morril
This would have been a great abduction story. Mark's got a gimp mask on.
Mark Normand
Yeah, they're telling me their life story. This guy's fucking weaving all over traffic. Horrible driver. We pull up to this kid's house a couple miles away. It's probably like a 10 minute drive. Not bad. But he just does a crazy UI on Sunset. We get to this kid's house, he runs in his mom's like, what are you doing home? He's like, shut up, mom. She's in a house dress, the cat's running around, he grabs the colon, he comes back in the car, he throws him at me, goes, get the fuck out of here. So then we drive off, we go back to the store, he goes back to work and I go to lax.
Sam Morril
It's weird because your use of drugs is actually responsible.
Mark Normand
Thank you.
Sam Morril
I mean, you kind of do need to. You need to sleep for the gig.
Mark Normand
You need it.
Producer/Photographer
He got in a stranger's car to get drugged.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
I'm trying to defend my friend here. What do you want?
Mark Normand
But I'll tell you, that Kalana pin
Sam Morril
on the flight, he's like, wait, which shape was that pill you took?
Mark Normand
That was fentanyl.
Sam Morril
No, dude, I slept the whole flight. I felt so bad for you. I was like. It's one of those things where you're like, I got fucking loaded. That night you left too. I was pounding bodega cat in the green room. It was fun. Fluffy was drinking it with us. It's nice. He was like, this is fucking smooth. You know, everyone's pounding it. Everyone except Burt, weirdly.
Mark Normand
I know. Sober Burt strikes again.
Sam Morril
Yeah, Kroll was having some. I think Kroll was having bodega. He was drinking something?
Mark Normand
Hell yeah.
Sam Morril
Was having some booze and I love it. And Matt Rife.
Mark Normand
Does he drink?
Sam Morril
I don't think he does.
Mark Normand
He's too handsome to drink.
Sam Morril
Simon Rex had some.
Mark Normand
Look at Simon.
Sam Morril
Yeah. Holy shit. Game of Fuck Mary, Kill. Fuck all you motherfuckers.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
Because I know I'm dead, but look at that, you know? Rife was fun, man. Yeah. He had a. He had a funny riff on Shaq. It was something about how he's anti slavery, but if he saw shaq in the 1860s, he would have been like, that one.
Mark Normand
Oh, that's great.
Sam Morril
That's pretty good, right?
Mark Normand
That's great.
Sam Morril
I cracked up. I had a couple good zings on Shaq, but Burt was like, roast Shaq. And I was like, you gotta prep for this thing.
Mark Normand
Yeah, of course.
Sam Morril
I can't just come in and I'm not just gonna, like, riff. Roast a legend.
Mark Normand
Right, Right.
Sam Morril
So I threw a couple at him. I got a few laughs. Luckily, I went on stage after Shaq. Bert and Gabriel Iglesias were on. I was like, how the fuck did the stage not sink? And then immediately went into zings. I said, like, shaq looks like Burt's liver. Something about Shaq. I said, inside the NBA and won't go to aa.
Mark Normand
Ah.
Sam Morril
And then the one that really popped was like, we know Shaq didn't go in any Diddy parties because he would have needed too much baby oil. That one hit me as he was lotioning up in the green room. And I was like, holy shit. This guy uses a lot of lotion. Yeah, he's a big fucking dude.
Mark Normand
That's a full barrel.
Sam Morril
He looks. He's pretty fit again, though, actually. Look at him. He's pretty. I mean, for a dude that big
Mark Normand
and that old, he's hanging in there. Yeah, he's for him.
Sam Morril
He walked in the green room, saw my knick shirt, and goes, fuck the Knicks.
Mark Normand
Whoa.
Sam Morril
But then he was cool. He was. As he shook my hand, he did it to every comment, but he was like, I'm a fan. I was like, that's nice to hear.
Mark Normand
All right.
Sam Morril
Even if he's full of shit, it was nice. But then he goes, fuck the Knicks. And I was like, come on. He goes, fuck him. I was like, you don't like Brunson? He goes, brunson's cool.
Mark Normand
All right.
Sam Morril
And then I was like, how about og? He's like, oh, geez.
Mark Normand
Great.
Sam Morril
Like, he slowly warmed up a little.
Mark Normand
There we go.
Sam Morril
He's just a. Shaq's a troll dude.
Mark Normand
Yeah. Yeah.
Sam Morril
That's part of what he does. I mean, you love him for it. I mean, he's so fucking likable.
Mark Normand
Shaq ducking ahead. That's great. That's a great shot. He looks like he's getting hauled off to jail.
Sam Morril
Damn.
Mark Normand
Geez, I love how Bert sober, still looks rough. Pull Burt up again.
Sam Morril
He's lost a lot of weight.
Mark Normand
Wow. What'd he look like before? Good for him. All right, Good time. Wow, that's a fun show. There's probably an earthquake joke in there too, with Fluffy and Bert Jackson.
Producer/Photographer
Theo is there.
Mark Normand
I don't remember that photo at all. Jesus Christ.
Sam Morril
Damn.
Mark Normand
Good Lord. Yeah. What? It's like you said, it was a blur. LA was a fucking blur. That was Rachel cracking me up.
Sam Morril
It was a blur, man. That was crazy.
Mark Normand
But these are great picks. 3.
Sam Morril
Oh, that's a classic.
Mark Normand
Classic.
Sam Morril
Put that up in the studio, that's a banger.
Mark Normand
Yeah, good idea. Liz knows how to take a photo now.
Sam Morril
Yeah.
Mark Normand
I think you get called ugly enough, you can really get ready for a photo. He knows how to do it.
Producer/Photographer
This is an interesting f. Marry kill.
Mark Normand
Hell, yeah.
Sam Morril
It's really. Preference, I think, at a certain point. Yeah, exactly. But you know. Yeah, the Knicks games were fun as hell. I got a crew at Barney's Beanery. Every game, dude. Yeah. Swartzen pulled up every fucking day.
Mark Normand
Was it packed in there?
Sam Morril
It wasn't that bad. Cause the games were at 4pm, right? So. Man, it was fun to watch. With a bunch of Knicks fans in a bar. Good times, man.
Mark Normand
I know. I wanted to go, but I forgot about the time change. So I was like, I had day pop.
Sam Morril
Guy doesn't know about time changes. He doesn't know about passports. He's a fucking disaster.
Mark Normand
I just thought the knicks played at 7 or 8 all the time. I didn't know they went to 4pm in LA. That's a crazy time for a basketball game.
Sam Morril
It is crazy.
Mark Normand
But here's the crazy part. I land at 8am in New York. I go home to get my passport. You know, I walk in, the wife feeding the baby. She's like, what the fuck are you doing here? So I got to bang the wife, play with the baby. I gotta mix those up.
Sam Morril
I thought you were gonna say, I walked in, she's with Shaq. I was like, what the fuck?
Mark Normand
Yeah. Then I, you know, we had a little time at the house to go home or go to Canada and do a gig.
Sam Morril
Did she come with you?
Mark Normand
No, no, she was. She was like. She had plans.
Sam Morril
That's the good thing about Toronto is you're there in an hour.
Mark Normand
Exactly.
Sam Morril
Barring any weird shit, but Toronto is a pretty cool city.
Mark Normand
It was cool, but it was. It was a place called Casinorama. So you have to land, then do a two hour. Ooh.
Sam Morril
That is a fucking brutal travel day.
Mark Normand
It was a brutal travel day.
Sam Morril
You took two flights and a two hour drive.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
And then did an hour, then did
Mark Normand
a casino with new stuff, animals. And this is, like, deep. I don't even know what town this is called, but they were great. Nice crowd and. Yeah, fun times.
Sam Morril
Damn.
Producer/Photographer
We did some podcasts while we were there.
Sam Morril
Yeah. Anthony Jezzle Neck.
Mark Normand
We've been dying to get Jezz for years.
Sam Morril
We got Kevin Neal.
Mark Normand
Kevin Nealon, the legend and Bobby Lee,
Sam Morril
but that one's not coming out for a while.
Mark Normand
Yeah. Yeah. Hulu, his people. I was so hungover on that one.
Sam Morril
I was hurting every day.
Mark Normand
Dude, he kind of carried it. I'm wearing my Sarandos outfit.
Sam Morril
Oh, yeah, same here.
Producer/Photographer
In a T shirt to the Sarandos.
Sam Morril
It's a nice T shirt. It's a Jalen Brunson T shirt.
Mark Normand
Standing next to Sandler, you were basically wearing a tuxedo. He's got an orange hoodie.
Sam Morril
I didn't know we had to dress up for the thing also. It was like fucking 110 degrees in that tent. I didn't know.
Mark Normand
That's true.
Sam Morril
I mean, Louie was sweating through his shirt like crazy.
Mark Normand
He looked rough. Holy hell.
Sam Morril
I don't. I didn't know you had to dress up for this thing. I thought it was just kind of a casual.
Mark Normand
I think they said, like, springtime nice or something. They had some word for it.
Sam Morril
Damn.
Mark Normand
But fun.
Sam Morril
I missed out on the. On the memo there, but, yeah, that was a fun. It was a fun quick l. A trip. How about that roast? That was wild. I didn't. I just saw the clips with the clips I thought were pretty funny. Everyone seems. Everyone's going to be mad, but people are mad.
Mark Normand
Comedians are mad, which is so strange. I'm a friend of mine, black guy was like, this roast was awesome. My favorite roast. This rose felt like a Jerry Springer vibe. Like it had some hatred, some screaming.
Sam Morril
It is weird when they hate each other.
Mark Normand
It is a little tense.
Sam Morril
It's funny and it's kind of exciting, but it's also like. I walked in to watch some of Chelsea Handler's set at the store when she was working it out and one of her writers turned to me and goes, are you a spy? And I was like, a spy.
Mark Normand
Relax.
Sam Morril
That's the tone of the roast.
Mark Normand
It's a roast. It's fun.
Sam Morril
You think? I'm like, hey, mayday, Mayday.
Mark Normand
Yeah, she's doing this. Tony, get her.
Sam Morril
It's like, I don't give a shit. Do your joke. I think it's lame to report. Of course I'm not gonna do that.
Mark Normand
But there were some amazing jokes, I gotta say. Everybody had a great set. Everybody had a. Well, not. Not the actors. All the actors suck. Tiana Taylor and Regina hall was a big, big waste of time.
Sam Morril
Yeah, but good actors.
Mark Normand
But good actors. But, yeah, some of the Roast jokes were like. I mean, top notch. Some of the best jokes I've ever heard.
Sam Morril
Yeah, it is funny, though. I thought Che's post was funny. I thought his post about Michael Che, it was like a news story. They love to everything. They just pour gas in the flames. I know, but I thought he was being facetious. I thought he was having fun with it, where he said, hey, black people roast you with. Look at this guy's shoes.
Mark Normand
So true.
Sam Morril
And white guys are telling dark family secrets. That is funny.
Mark Normand
That's why your mom hung herself. You're like, jesus.
Sam Morril
It is funny that. Where you're like, the levels to where you're just like, one guy roasts up, and it's a play on words and kind of sweet, and then the next guy goes up and is like, wasn't your baby stillborn? And you're like, whoa.
Mark Normand
Yeah. Everything was jugular. It was all right to the. There was no fun puns or silliness. It was just like, I don't like you and I'm gonna take you down.
Sam Morril
I have kind of a theory why people are offended or annoyed, and it's not like a super hot take or anything, but I think when the Roche went, like, on Comedy Central, it was kind of the only place that crazy shit was happening, because YouTube and Instagram, it wasn't, like, as big a thing. Meanwhile, now it's like Roast was supposed to be no holds barred, but now I feel like everything kind of is right. Like, a lot of comedy is going for the jugular now.
Mark Normand
Sure.
Sam Morril
So it's not as much as a special thing.
Mark Normand
Yeah, yeah. But you're saying we're kind of numb to stuff now.
Sam Morril
I think it's not as special.
Mark Normand
Oh, 100%.
Sam Morril
But roast should still be no holds barred. I think every joke should be. I do kind of. I don't always love when it's not the friends. Like, I think it should be friends doing it.
Mark Normand
I agree. Or at least acquaintances, you know?
Sam Morril
Cause it, like, Big J made sense because he's like, they've known each other forever. There's a history and stuff. But it is weird. And I'm not taken away. The clips I saw, everyone killed it at the scene.
Mark Normand
Kill it. Some killer stuff.
Sam Morril
But it is weird to just have, like, hired guns show up.
Mark Normand
It's impersonal. Yeah. And when I saw the writers, I was like, oh, no wonder it was so dark. It's Mullen, It's Amico, it's St. Germain, it's Lawrence. Those are J.P. mcDade.
Sam Morril
These are like, these are legit snipers.
Mark Normand
Killers.
Sam Morril
These are great writers.
Mark Normand
Great writers. Yeah. But that definitely felt different than the Brady Roast.
Sam Morril
The Brady Rose were his boys, though.
Mark Normand
That's true.
Sam Morril
It was Julian Edelman. It was Bledsoe. It was like, so personal.
Mark Normand
Right. But you slide Schultz. You had Tony, you had Nikki.
Sam Morril
Yeah, but it was more of a mix.
Mark Normand
I feel like it was more of a mix. But this rose felt like. Like that Brady Rose felt professional. It was like when Obama and Romney debated, you know, it's classy. This one felt like Trump and Biden debating just off the rails. I'm a better golf player. It was just like, we don't like each other. There was no handshake, no nothing. Like, Shane brought up Chelsea as saying she was hanging out with Epstein. Not even a joke. That was like, get her in trouble. Fuck her.
Sam Morril
That was like a norm type moment.
Mark Normand
Totally, totally.
Sam Morril
This person had dinner with. Look it up. That was like a fucking hilarious line.
Mark Normand
Yeah, yeah. Crazy. I mean, look, they're like, Pete's dad's dead. 911.
Sam Morril
I will say Pete is a fucking champ for the shit he takes.
Mark Normand
Oh, my God.
Sam Morril
I don't know if he gets enough credit for how much shit he takes. Like, just casually, like, your dad died in a fire. That's pretty fucked up.
Mark Normand
Never complains either. Yeah, yeah, he's. He's. He had some great jokes, too. Yeah.
Sam Morril
Oh, yeah. It's funny. You could tell just who hates each other and who's just playful.
Mark Normand
Yeah. Yeah.
Sam Morril
I kind of like the. I kind of like a tell will always say, keep it surface, man. Jesus Christ.
Mark Normand
Totally.
Sam Morril
It is funny that you're, like, digging into someone's like, how can I hurt this person? To me, that's like the spirit of a rose.
Mark Normand
Yes. It was hurtful. I was MGK. Yeah.
Sam Morril
And some double Ds.
Mark Normand
Ooh. Nothing wrong with that. But I wonder if she's happy she didn't do it.
Sam Morril
Nikki.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
I mean, it's kind of cool to just crush it and then be like, I'm done with it.
Mark Normand
I Think so too. I mean, left on a high note. It boosted her career. Like, I wonder if Big J will go to theaters now.
Sam Morril
Yeah, maybe.
Mark Normand
That's pretty cool. Yeah. Good for him.
Sam Morril
He was hilarious. That Keith thing was great.
Mark Normand
Keith was great. I mean, and he was there.
Sam Morril
It is funny because I remember we used to do Roast Battle and shit, and it's so, like, it was dark, so savage. Yeah, that's the other thing, though. It's like, I don't know, like, roasting, it just doesn't feel as special.
Mark Normand
No, of course not.
Sam Morril
I mean. Cause they just oversaturated with Roast Battle and all this shit. And then, like, you know, you'd see that it's not the same skill as stand up because, like, open micrs were fucking great at roasting.
Mark Normand
That's true.
Sam Morril
There'd be open micrs on Roast Battle where you're like, that was a good fucking bit. It's easier to write about other people than yourself.
Mark Normand
It is. Yeah. Well, Colin Quinn always had the great point. He's like, if you're not good at stand up, you're a great roaster. Just roast yourself in your act.
Sam Morril
Yeah, but Colin's actually, like, incredible at that. It's hard to be that. That level of self awareness is fucking painful.
Mark Normand
That's the problem.
Sam Morril
Like, Colin will tell stories like, that's his De Niro Baum story is incredible. But that level of self reflection, you're like, oh, my God, that hurts.
Producer/Photographer
Yeah.
Mark Normand
But he also did a Stern roast and killed.
Sam Morril
Yeah, well, he's a great comic.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
I can't remember.
Mark Normand
I think they were roasting Artie, maybe.
Sam Morril
Artie or Stern. I mean, I remember. I mean, Depolo and Geraldo had some great sets on that.
Mark Normand
Yep, yep.
Sam Morril
Depaulo had some dark shit on that one.
Mark Normand
Well, that was back when you wrote your own jokes. Like, you came in there with papers and it was all your shit.
Sam Morril
I think, like, if I ever did one of these, I'd want to at least be a big part of it.
Mark Normand
Totally.
Sam Morril
I think a lot of these comics were, though.
Mark Normand
Yeah. Yeah.
Sam Morril
I would think. I mean, like, when we did the Netflix roast of the year, we had help, but we were fucking putting our own shit in there too.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
Yeah. I think you need help. I mean, you gotta take. They have writers for a reason. But, like, I wanna be a part of this. I wanna add my own shit.
Producer/Photographer
Yeah.
Mark Normand
And what's cool about these is Burt called me and he's like, we gotta talk about the roast. And he said, Burt was in the Room. And he's like, a lot of people bombed in the room. But it worked on tv. Oh, really? Yeah. So that's very interesting. Like, Shane had a joke about Lizzo. People say, lizzo's washed up. The term is beached. Which I love that joke. And on the Internet, that went crazy viral. But in the room, he's like, okay, nothing on that. Great, Moving on.
Sam Morril
And they cut. Nothing on that.
Mark Normand
No, no, it's all in there. I saw it live. And he's like, okay, fuck you guys. Let's keep going. But so in the room, it didn't hit. But at home, I watch that on tv. And I'm like, that's gold.
Sam Morril
I love that Shane does that, by the way.
Mark Normand
I love.
Sam Morril
Like, some. Some people will tell you, when you're on tv, never act like you're fucking bombing. How? Oh, you have to. You have to at least. Like, I want. I'd rather think that. I'm like, I'd rather think that they. I want. If they think I suck, I want them to at least think. I know. They know. I'm like, self aware.
Mark Normand
Yeah, of course.
Sam Morril
I don't want to be up there. Like, I always hated the comics who were like, bombing with a smile.
Mark Normand
Yeah, yeah, right.
Sam Morril
Like fucking. You don't want to be too much on that shit, but a little of it.
Mark Normand
A little. Yes, sure. You're in the room. Like his SNL's. He. At one point, he had a joke, not get what he wanted, and he was like, okay, you guys hate me. I get it.
Sam Morril
The second one was a tough crowd. I thought, oh, for sure. I saw Shane working that out at the Cellar, and I was like, oh, that's a funny set.
Mark Normand
Funny killer.
Sam Morril
And he was really. I'm like, no. And then I was like, yeah. I thought the crowd didn't give him a ton on that one. Yeah, but that SNL monologue is fucking.
Mark Normand
It's changed.
Sam Morril
I don't know how you do well on that. It's like, with edgy shit like him. I don't know. No, I even hate calling it edgy, but it's not like Cookie cutter. And it's not trying to be cute.
Mark Normand
Yeah. Like Natal Kill. Millennial Kill. But if you go.
Sam Morril
Even Nate, though, it took a while. It took like you had to get warmed up a little bit because Nate has that unique rhythm. It takes a second.
Mark Normand
I think it takes a second. That crowd is not great. And they're so nervous. There's like an HR vibe in that crowd. And so anything a little off Color. They're like, whoa, what was that?
Sam Morril
It's NBC.
Mark Normand
It's NBC.
Sam Morril
I mean, you remember, like, don't you think our worst late night sets back in the day were, like, Fallon or Colbert?
Mark Normand
Sure.
Sam Morril
We did so much better. We did so much better on Conan.
Mark Normand
Yeah, definitely.
Sam Morril
It's also more of a, like, stand up vibe. Like, he kind of groomed the audience more for, like, stand up, I thought.
Mark Normand
Yeah, I think so, too. Yeah. Yeah.
Producer/Photographer
I was going to say, you watched all four hours. Who do you think had the set of the night?
Sam Morril
You watched all four hours?
Mark Normand
I was just at home. My baby fell asleep on me, so I had to. I couldn't move. So I was like, all right.
Sam Morril
His first words are going to be a slur.
Mark Normand
Yeah. He said, George Floyd. I didn't love the George Floyd joke, by the way, but we don't have to get into each joke. But I thought Tony had the most jokes and the best jokes in a row. But Shane's off the cuff was gold. And I thought Jeff Ross had a lot of bangers. I love the Keith. The Keith thing was great. I thought Kevin Hart was in a tough spot because everyone had done every joke already.
Sam Morril
It's so hard.
Mark Normand
And he did that.
Sam Morril
That's the weird thing. It's like, it's your roast, but you will get these shitty.
Mark Normand
The worst spot.
Sam Morril
Yeah.
Mark Normand
And he did the horrible machine gun sound effect, which I hated. But Shane telling Teyana Taylor, like, thank God she's funny because that.
Sam Morril
No, she's hot.
Mark Normand
Oh, sorry. Thank God she's hot because she is not funny at all. And I was. I spit my drink out because you don't see that on tv. Like, this fat, doughy guy is like, let me. I get to finally trash this beautiful A list Hollywood actress. And he was right. She sucked.
Sam Morril
He's a great host, too. That energy, like that drinking guy. Kind of fun energy as a host.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
And that kind of silly will say anything. I mean, he's perfect.
Mark Normand
Yeah. But if you want to talk crowd reaction, Cheryl Underwood had the biggest pop. She was, like, on a roll.
Sam Morril
We met her at the brunch. She was cool.
Mark Normand
Super cool. Super nice. She got it. She kept telling us, she's like, it's all jokes. No one's offended. She's like, talk about my dead husband. I thought Chelsea looked amazing. And she. She. You can see when she's up there, she's so poised, like, oh, she's a pro.
Sam Morril
So funny when the Rock sucks. Talk about dark jokes. When Tony said her husband killed himself after being together for years, he goes, I've been next to her a couple hours. I don't know how he made it that long. That's a funny joke. I mean, that's one that you're like, she's laughing. Thank God. If she's not laughing at that, you're like, fuck. But that's. I laughed at that one. I didn't see the whole clips, but I cracked up.
Mark Normand
Yeah. But people were like, some of the jokes are racist. And you're like, of course. Of course there's a lot of racist. Joe. Racism is hilarious.
Sam Morril
Yeah.
Mark Normand
White, black, Asian, Jew. That's what we're doing here.
Sam Morril
Yeah, it's just like, you know, it, I guess. What is it? Every two years now they're doing a roast.
Mark Normand
Sounds like it. They do so well. But see, the winner is Netflix is. Everybody's talking about it. Good, bad, backlash, praise. It's all talk. So they're. They're. They're cleaning up. Remember Jeff Ross's old joke about Shaq? I saw him try to peel the microphone. Yeah. I mean, he goes, if Shaq, did you walk here? Your knuckles are bleeding. That's horribly racist. But why are you laughing? It's racist, Salacus, what are you laughing for?
Sam Morril
Well, he's racist. That's why.
Mark Normand
Okay, I know you're not allowed to say that, but racism in the right context is hilarious. I'm sorry. I know that's a tough question when
Sam Morril
you know the person's not racist and you know the intent is just to make them laugh. There's something kind of fun about it. Yeah, of course. But, yeah, I mean, these things are, like, every two years now, so maybe. I don't know. I wonder who they roast next. I remember they originally wanted to do Tyson, and he didn't want to hear three hours of you're a rapist joke.
Mark Normand
So I think he backed out, but I get that. But also, we roasted Kevin Hart with Tom Brady. We roasted Kevin Hart in Funny af, and we roasted Kevin Hart on his own roast. It's like, we got enough Kevin Hart for a minute. We've roasted him three times in two years. I want more amex commercials and Chase Bank.
Sam Morril
Yeah, whatever he's doing.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Producer/Photographer
But can we talk about the peak moment for me at the fest?
Sam Morril
What was that?
Producer/Photographer
It was having Jeselnick on the podcast.
Mark Normand
Sure.
Producer/Photographer
And at the very end, which I think is gonna play at the week after this, here, Mark farts. And Jezelnick does not acknowledge it at all.
Mark Normand
No, he did not stare.
Producer/Photographer
Dead man Stare right off into space.
Sam Morril
Was this on the pod?
Mark Normand
Yeah. I don't even remember.
Sam Morril
I'm so numb to your farts.
Mark Normand
Quite the poker face on that guy.
Sam Morril
He just. So he was displeased, I guess.
Mark Normand
No reaction at all, but that's displeased?
Producer/Photographer
I guess so. It was like he was being molested.
Mark Normand
He just went to a happy place. Like, Nate at least went like. He had an angry, I think, Jezebel.
Sam Morril
Nate was like a disappointed father when you fucked up.
Mark Normand
Yes.
Sam Morril
He was really upset. I've watched that clip more than any clip on our pod.
Mark Normand
Same.
Sam Morril
I've revisited it. I can't believe I wasn't in the room for it. I came in.
Mark Normand
Wait, you were?
Sam Morril
I took a piss, and I came right back in. And you said. I said, I miss anything, and you go, nate farted.
Mark Normand
He did not care for it.
Sam Morril
He didn't like it.
Mark Normand
No, no.
Sam Morril
That's not his humor.
Mark Normand
I've sent him that clip before. He's like, stop sending me this.
Sam Morril
Really?
Mark Normand
Yeah. He's not into it. Like, not even later.
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah. He's gonna be on his deathbed, and all these amazing memories are gonna come up, and then he's just gonna hear you going, hold on.
Mark Normand
And he's gonna be like, yeah, Him, David Cross, and Jezeldeck are now my. My trio of fart haters.
Sam Morril
Cross hated it.
Mark Normand
Hated. He almost kicked me off the pot. He's like, you gotta go. This is crazy. And I had to, like, calm him down.
Sam Morril
Smell bad?
Mark Normand
No, he was just like, what the was that? Pull it up. I mean, it's a crazy clip that he said the N word two minutes later.
Sam Morril
What?
Mark Normand
Yeah. And I was like, you're mad at me. You're saying the N word. And he's like, that's. That's different.
Sam Morril
How is it? That's way worse.
Mark Normand
Yeah. What the hell? You think if Kramer farted at the Laugh Factory, he'd be canceled? I don't think so.
Sam Morril
Most awkward podcast of all time.
Mark Normand
You're gonna bleep that N word or what? No, that's disgusting. Sorry. Well, I figured you're a comedian. Yeah, fart joke. But that wasn't a joke. It was just a fart. Hey, guys. So we have a fun one here. All right. We don't get into the guy doing the breakdown.
Sam Morril
What is weird? The world sucks right now.
Mark Normand
I know, I know.
Sam Morril
Let's take a deep dive into Mark Norman. Problem farting on other comedians. David Cross looks unamused.
Mark Normand
Yes, I know. It's like planet Earth. With Attenborough.
Sam Morril
Oh, what is happening? So he was pissed.
Mark Normand
He was pissed. And he shut the thing down for a second. Then we got back into it. He calmed down.
Sam Morril
Why? I don't understand. Yeah, it's like, gross, but it's not like a. It's not a fucking.
Mark Normand
It's not malicious.
Sam Morril
It's not a pot ender.
Mark Normand
Yeah. So then he says the N word five minutes later. In what context? I think he was quoting a rap song, which. I don't care. I'm not, like, offended. I'm just saying nightmare, that. Oh, here we go. Sorry. Yeah, it's a nightmare. I'm with you on that one. He walks. He literally walks off.
Sam Morril
He's not doing a bit.
Mark Normand
He left the room.
Sam Morril
It's not a bit.
Mark Normand
No, no, he was pissed. Then we had to shut down earlier. I apologize. Yeah, it'll get you. Sorry. I should have given some warning there, but I think I tilted it to the right. If you.
Sam Morril
If you.
Mark Normand
If you gave me a warning, I would have said, you go out. That's a good point. I'm not going to clear Emma out of here. You're the one who needs to go out and fart in your own face. That's true. Sorry. I did direct it to the right a little. No, you didn't. You went this way. I went right leg up. No, didn't I? Check tape. Roll it. Roll it back. All right.
Sam Morril
JFK tape. What the hell? There was a second farter.
Mark Normand
The grassy hole.
Sam Morril
Damn, he is fucking pissed.
Mark Normand
He was pissed.
Sam Morril
He's a tough. He's a tough one.
Mark Normand
Yeah. He's a persnickety for sure.
Sam Morril
I definitely felt when he was on the pod, like, I don't think. I think people. You said it was well received, but, like, I felt in the room, it
Mark Normand
was a little tight, a little tense. It was definitely tense for sure.
Sam Morril
Like, I felt like he did not like us.
Mark Normand
I just figured I watched. Used to watch Mr. Show. Same. It's rude, it's silly, it's. It's ridiculous. So I was like, ah.
Sam Morril
Oh, dude, pull up. David Cross farting.
Mark Normand
Gary. Ah, good point.
Sam Morril
You remember this one?
Mark Normand
No. Maybe it'll drag it, but it was very juvenile. Ah, geez. Fart.
Sam Morril
And Gary, he buried his own work with your fart.
Mark Normand
Right?
Producer/Photographer
Love's a good fart. Here it is. Is it?
Sam Morril
No. Wait, what does that mean? David Cross loves a good fart.
Mark Normand
Yeah. What the hell?
Sam Morril
This might be some hypocrisy.
Mark Normand
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Mark Normand
Nice.
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Mark Normand
Yeehaw.
Producer/Photographer
Hold on. Let's get to the.
Mark Normand
What the hell? The title is called Love's a Good Fart. Look at that.
Sam Morril
Since we're here.
Mark Normand
Wait a minute.
Sam Morril
Can I show you my mom farting? Sure.
Mark Normand
This is huge.
Sam Morril
This is real.
Mark Normand
Okay.
Sam Morril
And this is genuine. We threw the TMZ stuff up because
Mark Normand
I didn't want anyone to steal my footage. Oh, no, he's loving it. This guy's an enigma. Wait a minute. Whoa. Wait a minute. Sorry. Is that for you? Is that your mom?
Sam Morril
That's my mom, yeah. Tom's mom is hilarious.
Mark Normand
Yeah, that's his mom. Wow.
Sam Morril
So maybe. Is it because you were in the room?
Mark Normand
I guess. But, you know, if you laugh at Eddie Murphy, then he walks in the room and you go get the out. What does that say?
Sam Morril
Damn
Mark Normand
farting. Gary. Mr. Show. There it is. So this guy, I guess he's changed.
Sam Morril
Yeah, whatever.
Mark Normand
He's not the man he used to be. All right, that's fine. You're watching the International.
Sam Morril
No, we're good. We're good. We don't need to do a deep dive. David Cross is a hypocrite.
Mark Normand
Just saying. I grew up. There's nothing funnier than a fart. I'm on a comedy podcast. I fart. I'm sorry.
Sam Morril
I'm just numb to. I don't. It doesn't. It's whatever. To me.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
Like, there's people I wouldn't do it in front of. I'm trying. I started seeing a girl and I'm, like, trying not to do it in front of her just to keep the romance alive.
Mark Normand
That's fair.
Sam Morril
I think once you start pooping and farting, it's just like, it opens a fucking. It opens a door to agreed. To, like, grossness.
Mark Normand
I agree. I agree. But I think once you're really serious, you can fart.
Sam Morril
No, you can, but it's just like, the longer you can avoid it.
Mark Normand
That's true.
Sam Morril
I'll even go poop in another bathroom. I'm like, I don't want it to be. I don't want the door open. I don't.
Mark Normand
Yeah, Yeah. I caught my wife once and it was disappointing.
Sam Morril
It was a bad one.
Mark Normand
Yeah, well, she's got, like, lactose and all that.
Sam Morril
Like what?
Mark Normand
Lactose. She can't have dairy and she's got to run to a bathroom.
Sam Morril
She's got that.
Mark Normand
I. I got an iron gut here. I can. I can eat a shoe.
Sam Morril
You don't ever get diarrhea from too much dairy?
Mark Normand
Not really, no.
Sam Morril
I just feel like if I eat like a whole. I have no self control. So if I eat a pizza, I eat like a whole pie. And then I'm just like the next day, just like fucking, you know, have like a beer with it. I'm like, oh, I feel like shit.
Mark Normand
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that'll do it. Yeah. Well, she's got, like, a little bit of dairy and she's off to the races.
Sam Morril
I'm sure she appreciates you disclosing this information, but, you know, that is. It is a fucking tough one when you see a person. There's something weirdly bonding, though, when you ever get, like, food poisoning with someone you're dating and it weirdly kind of brings you together even though you see shit coming out of every hole.
Mark Normand
Totally, totally. Yeah. It's like you're in the trenches with them, you know?
Sam Morril
Cause the second you both start to turn, you're like, all right, that was kind of fun.
Mark Normand
Yeah. Me and my ex had food poisoning at the same time, and she was on the shitter and I was in the toilet, and we were both just letting it go and it was very free.
Sam Morril
Wait, the shitter and the toilet.
Mark Normand
Wait, sorry, sorry. The tub and the shitter.
Sam Morril
The tub?
Mark Normand
Yeah, I was in the tub. Cause we needed a drain.
Sam Morril
Oh, you were shitting in the tub?
Mark Normand
I was shitting in the tub. Puking in the tub. Pissing in the tub.
Producer/Photographer
Sociopath.
Mark Normand
Well, I had to go. We couldn't both share a bowl. We only had one bathroom.
Sam Morril
That is.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
That isn't an en. I was gonna say an enigma, but it's not. Wrong word choice.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
No. That is a fucking disaster.
Mark Normand
Wait, where does the shit go? Down the drain, obviously. You have to mash it down. It was water. It was water. I was shitting water. It was food poison.
Sam Morril
And you run the shower.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
What do you think? You let it sit there. I don't know what he's up to.
Mark Normand
Yeah. But it was nice. We did it. We were in it together. That's what I'm saying.
Sam Morril
No, I know what you're saying. Like, World War II, I gotta pee for you.
Mark Normand
Oh, please.
Sam Morril
Every time I watch a movie with this girl, I'm fine with a little talking during the movie. I'm not like a stiff, but, like, you talk over the silent parts. You don't talk over the dialogue.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
So then she'll, like.
Mark Normand
I'll, like.
Sam Morril
She'll be talking and I'll, like, pause it or go back and she'll laugh. And I'm like, well, you want me to miss the dialogue?
Mark Normand
I do the same thing. And then they get offended.
Sam Morril
They get offended. When I talk to you in a movie, it's like a long, drawn, like, thief. You sent me a thief thing the other day. A lot of slow scenes you could talk over.
Mark Normand
Sure.
Sam Morril
But during the fucking Essential, she's like, wait, what's happened here? I don't know.
Mark Normand
Yes. Then you know what's happening. You have the nerve to ask me what happened while you talked over it? That's sociopath. That's crazy.
Sam Morril
So, yeah, you want to miss a great line.
Mark Normand
I know, I know. So I pause with my lady, and she's like, you don't have to pause it. And I'm like, but I do. And then I'll rewind it. And she's like, oh, here we go. We saw this already. I'm like, I didn't.
Sam Morril
I had a bit back in the day about a girl coming home and just complaining. Complaining. I'm watching a movie and, you know, I'm watching Annie hall, and she's, like, annoyed that I'm pausing it, and she's like, what? I'm like, I'm sorry, was your story nominated for seven Academy Awards?
Mark Normand
That's a classic.
Sam Morril
But, yeah, that's a good one. It's an oldie, but no.
Mark Normand
I'm with you, though. The talking during dialogue is crazy.
Sam Morril
Yeah.
Mark Normand
And you gotta. If. So you gotta let me pause. Or maybe she should pause.
Sam Morril
I like to control the remote.
Mark Normand
I do, too.
Sam Morril
I'm old school.
Mark Normand
Yeah. I'm the same way.
Sam Morril
I'm against a woman's right to choose what we're watching, but anytime.
Producer/Photographer
I've been in a car with my wife, I've been driving.
Sam Morril
Really?
Mark Normand
Same with you guys. Same.
Sam Morril
Yeah. I don't drive.
Mark Normand
Really? Oh. Oh, yeah.
Sam Morril
I can drive, but I'm scared. I'm so bad at it.
Mark Normand
Yeah, but I'm with you.
Sam Morril
I know people call me a pussy in the comments right now. And you know what? You ain't wrong.
Mark Normand
I feel like you're a Manhattan kid.
Sam Morril
I've done it. Like, I've definitely done it where I'm like, I'll. You know. But I'm not confident behind the wheel, I'll tell you that.
Producer/Photographer
Yeah, I feel like the same thing with the remote. Like, I'm the guy holding the remote. I'm the guy driving the car.
Sam Morril
They're gonna say, you're not confident with the remote. You're like, oh, fuck. No, I'm. I'm not confident.
Mark Normand
Well, my wife's cool. She'll just give me the remote. She's like, I don't want to do it. It's kind of like the grill guy.
Sam Morril
I love it. I love a woman who doesn't want to make a big choice.
Mark Normand
Yes, yes. She's like, you do it. It's too much pressure. I'm like, great. But I do not want to be the grill guy. You know? The guy's like, I got the grill. Like, great. You do all the work. You stand over there.
Sam Morril
I fucking. Okay. So I'm watching this movie with a girl. It's called the Witch.
Mark Normand
It's.
Sam Morril
She goes, anya Taylor Joy's. And I go, oh, yeah, she's really hot. And she goes, well, she plays a 14 year old in the movie. And I was like, I meant now.
Mark Normand
Whoa.
Sam Morril
What do you think of that's.
Mark Normand
She also plays a witch.
Sam Morril
Assume anyone I talk about it's right now. Yeah, I think Natalie Portman's hot as an adult. Not in Fucking the Professional.
Mark Normand
Okay, that was Jean Renault.
Sam Morril
But then she goes, let's watch. Let's watch the Witch. And it's a. I'm not a big horror guy, but it's pretty good. It's scary. And she of course, insists on watching it. So, like, fine, let's watch it. We watch it after it. Something hits my window and she's like, what is it? And I'm like, there aren't fucking witches in Manhattan. And then, by the way, I looked up, there are. Apparently, there are witches.
Mark Normand
I can see that there's a lot in Brooklyn.
Sam Morril
Yeah, exactly. There are. I looked at. But it's like at the same time, you're like, let's. Yeah, it's not really. Are they really a witch?
Mark Normand
That's hilarious.
Sam Morril
And also in Manhattan, we don't really. In New York, we don't really fucking pay attention.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
If you want a place to spell would, like, do whatever you want. We're fucking. I got stuff to do. But she's freaking out. She won't sleep. She wakes up in the Middle of the night, screaming at the top of her lungs. She goes, there's a man in the kitchen with a knife.
Mark Normand
What the fuck?
Sam Morril
And I just woke up, and I go, there's no fucking guy. Just go back to bed. And she goes, all right. And I was like, I didn't check. There could have been a guy with a knife. But I'm thinking also, like, if there's a guy with a knife, I'm fucking dead anyway. I may as well sleep the last 30 seconds and chance.
Mark Normand
Good point.
Sam Morril
I don't think I'm disarming a guy.
Mark Normand
Right. Wow. What the hell? A guy with a knife. Where'd that come from?
Sam Morril
From fucking horror movies.
Mark Normand
Oh, okay.
Sam Morril
Women want to be scared, and then they get too fucking scared.
Mark Normand
I guess not all women, but I
Sam Morril
feel like women that I've dated, they tend to. They like horror movies.
Mark Normand
Women love horror movies, and I'm not
Sam Morril
a big horror guy.
Mark Normand
Me neither. I don't like true crime that much either, but they want to watch that. That's real.
Sam Morril
Some of them. I like fascinating. I like ones with, like, you know, depth. Like, I thought the Jinx was a fucking work of mine.
Mark Normand
Oh, the Jinx is amazing.
Sam Morril
That was, like, genius, I thought. And I loved the other one. The stair was incredible. I thought.
Mark Normand
Yeah, yeah.
Sam Morril
But those were, like, beautifully shot and had, like, all these twists and. I mean, you can't land on a better ending than the Jinx. He fucking stumbles into a confession.
Mark Normand
Best ending of a documentary.
Sam Morril
Who the hell makes a true crime and gets a confession?
Mark Normand
I know.
Sam Morril
That's insane.
Mark Normand
He solved the crime with his directing.
Sam Morril
That's. It's so cool. That guy also made Capturing the Freedmans.
Producer/Photographer
Oh, yeah.
Mark Normand
Oh, really?
Sam Morril
Another great doc.
Mark Normand
Is that Jarecki?
Sam Morril
Yeah, he's a. He's a beast.
Mark Normand
He's a comedy fan, too.
Sam Morril
He's awesome.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
But, yeah, the Jinx was, like, unreal.
Mark Normand
But it's weird that, like, my wife will watch. This is a peeve. She'll watch a movie about a bad husband or a bad boyfriend. And I come home and she's like, what the fuck's up with this? You. God, you men do that? I'm like, whoa, I didn't do anything. Like, some guy will kill his wife. She's like, are you gonna kill me? I'm like, okay, but when you watch a movie about a good guy, I gotta get. I should get complimented. You know, if you watch a movie where a guy saves a day, then I walk in, you're like. You're a Hero. If we're being honest and even.
Sam Morril
Are you gonna kill me? Yeah, if you keep running your mouth, maybe I will. No, I think, you know, there's a
Mark Normand
man in the kitchen. It's me with a knife.
Sam Morril
We get blamed for the bad shit. But yeah. And also, I think. You know what also we get blamed for is if we have one friend who's a disaster.
Mark Normand
I'm right here.
Sam Morril
He farts on other guests. He just farts on them. No, but I mean, you get blamed and it's like, no, we all. Guess what. You have fucking crazy friends, too. Everyone has a friend who's at the fucking limit. And then that friend has a crazy friend.
Mark Normand
Yes.
Sam Morril
And that friend. I'm like, keep that fucking person away from me.
Mark Normand
Yes.
Sam Morril
But.
Mark Normand
But give me the reverse, too. If I have a friend who's a fucking Harvard valedictorians, helps the homeless. Cub Scout. We don't have to put on me either.
Sam Morril
We don't.
Mark Normand
You know, like, Joe List is a family man. He's a great father. He provides. You people are nice. I'm just saying.
Sam Morril
May is like. You hang out with Sam. He's fucking alone. He's got nothing. That fucking loser.
Mark Normand
He's got an ulcer.
Sam Morril
I do. It hurts. It hurts, baby.
Producer/Photographer
Mark's last apartment before he moved to Brooklyn. And Taylor Joy live there.
Mark Normand
That's true. Whoa.
Producer/Photographer
And Mr. Sandy Koufax.
Mark Normand
Koufax. Whoa.
Sam Morril
The big two.
Mark Normand
Same apartment.
Producer/Photographer
And Mark.
Sam Morril
Damn.
Mark Normand
And me. It wasn't a great apartment, but it was Sandy Koufax. The location.
Sam Morril
You could be a legend, dude.
Mark Normand
I can't believe he's still alive.
Producer/Photographer
He like pitching in 1962.
Sam Morril
I know.
Mark Normand
He'd walk in with his wife, and she was not too shabby.
Sam Morril
Really?
Mark Normand
Yeah. Like a hot, older blonde lady.
Sam Morril
Nice.
Mark Normand
And then she'd be walking around. It was. It was peak. What was that chess show.
Producer/Photographer
The game.
Sam Morril
Queen's Gambit.
Mark Normand
Queen's Gambit. It was peak. Queen's Gambit show. Yeah. So I'd be in the elevator with,
Sam Morril
like, you ever say hi, checkmate.
Mark Normand
You know? No, I didn't want to bother.
Sam Morril
I saw her in a yoga class once.
Mark Normand
Whoa.
Sam Morril
My ex liked yoga. So we just went. She was like, will you come to a yoga class with me? And I was like, I'm fucking. You know how it is. We travel all the time. You're like, yeah, I'm not gonna stretch ever.
Mark Normand
So we should be stretching.
Sam Morril
We should be stretching more. I don't stretch. So if someone pushes me to go to a yoga class, I'M like, I'll fucking do it. I went, it's like me, her, and four other people, and one of them is Anya Taylor Joyos. I just. It's one of the things where you're like, oh, shit, she's.
Producer/Photographer
Dude, she's 14.
Sam Morril
I know. I hope not. No, she looked beautiful.
Mark Normand
What a funny. She used to be 14. She used to be underage. Like, I know everyone used to be underage.
Sam Morril
So did you.
Mark Normand
Yeah, right.
Sam Morril
You showed me a baby picture of you. I wasn't jacking off to it.
Mark Normand
Can I get that picture? She used to be.
Sam Morril
She used to be young.
Mark Normand
Ah, it's crazy.
Sam Morril
And by the way, I looked up her age in this. 19.
Mark Normand
All right, that's legal. Everyone.
Sam Morril
Everyone plays younger.
Mark Normand
Yeah, of course. Of course.
Sam Morril
It was a 24. I feel like they get away with people just being like, that's great because it is a 24 year old. But it was. It was fine. It was solid. I just. I'm just not into supernatural horror. It's got to be so good.
Mark Normand
Yeah, agreed. There's not a ton of character development. There's not a lot of layers to it. It's just like, she's a witch. Whoa.
Sam Morril
Scary. And supposed to be a lot of, like, turning on people because, you know, and not really investigating and turning against each other. And I just am like, well, this guy's a fucking idiot.
Mark Normand
Oh, like the Salem witch trial kind of thing.
Sam Morril
Kind of. But they blame her for being a witch, but she's not. But then it kind of. It's. It's. Look, it's. It was pretty. It's well made.
Mark Normand
For sure.
Sam Morril
It's a good. It's that famous director, Robert Eggers.
Mark Normand
Oh, big egg.
Sam Morril
It looks beautiful. He's talented as hell. It's just not my. It's not my genre, but I was watching, like, yeah, this is good.
Mark Normand
Yeah. I think a lot of those women were killed back then. Oh, yeah. By the way, the worst lawyer of all time. We're in the courtroom. The Salem witch trials are like, these are witches. Ah, you got me there. Ah, well, can we see some powers? No, no, we're not doing that. All right. I tried like this. You can't prove.
Sam Morril
Can we see some powers that proves they're a witch.
Mark Normand
Well, that's true. But they would have not been able to do them.
Sam Morril
Yeah.
Mark Normand
Saying their witches aren't real. This is. This guy should be kicked out along.
Producer/Photographer
Well, you know, they would throw the witches in the water with. Tied up, with ropes and with stones, and they would say, if she escaped, she's a witch.
Sam Morril
If she died, she was pure and, you know, she's tied up. Like, what's in this for me?
Mark Normand
Yeah, exactly. They should just do that about, like, a girl you hate. Ah, my ex, she's a witch. All right, put her in the water. We'll see what happens.
Sam Morril
Woo.
Mark Normand
Oh, wow. She's four. Oh, he's 42.
Sam Morril
Yeah, he's got a lot of movies.
Mark Normand
He was 14 once. Watch out. Such a.
Sam Morril
Such a hilarious thing to.
Mark Normand
That could be a bit. There's got to be a bit there. For sure. Everybody was 14.
Sam Morril
Everyone has been young.
Mark Normand
Yeah, that's hilarious. Like Epstein. Maybe Epstein goes the other way. Like, she's 16. Well, she will be 30 one day.
Sam Morril
How about his. You see his suicide note?
Mark Normand
Yeah, Yeah. I didn't read it.
Sam Morril
They just released it. I love how they just released this shit.
Mark Normand
I know. It's like a rap album.
Sam Morril
His suicide note, like, he totally wrote. He wrote, no fun, not worth it. I was like, jewish suicide note of all time.
Mark Normand
No fun, not worth it.
Sam Morril
Why did I do this?
Mark Normand
My stomach.
Sam Morril
No point in doing this.
Producer/Photographer
It literally reads like a Trump tweet.
Sam Morril
Like, Trump wrote it. Like, well, he's very Trumpy. If you read his emails. Oh, really? Because people were like, he's very smart. And then you read his emails and they're like, this guy's a bozo. Like, he talks like Trump a little bit. That's true.
Mark Normand
That's true.
Sam Morril
And then not worth it is like. My friend's like, that's awful. Would be worse if he said worth it.
Mark Normand
Oh, yeah, Worth it is worse. What's gonna come out first? The Epstein files fully, you know, public or Bobby Lee special? It's tough to say.
Sam Morril
Both on Hulu. But yeah, he. I just feel like they just are giving us, like, piece by piece.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
It's a slow news day. Give him another Colonel from the.
Mark Normand
Exactly.
Sam Morril
Epistein.
Mark Normand
Exactly. Let's just not think about the war. Don't think about the war. The gas prices. Here you go. Yeah, it's funny. The war, I think, started to get. Get us off the Epstein, and now you do Epstein, you get off the war.
Sam Morril
It's back and forth, back and forth.
Mark Normand
It's all chess game bullshit.
Sam Morril
Damn. You got any wrecks?
Mark Normand
Ooh, let's see. I watched something recently that was good. Oh, I watched the Martin Short doc.
Sam Morril
Oh, I didn't even know there was a doc.
Mark Normand
Oh, yeah. It's called Life is Short. It is heartwarming. My God. Some amazing. He's one of these guys back in the day, in the 90s, who would just walk around with a camcorder.
Sam Morril
Life is short. I thought that was a Verne Troyer doc. All right.
Mark Normand
That's the Kevin Hart roast. Yeah. But it's fascinating because he came up with all these greats. John Candy, Catherine o', Hara, Eugene Levy and him were roommates. Dan Aykroyd, all these guys. All these Canada guys. And they all did Second City together. And he has footage of all that shit coming up. And now they all hang out every holiday. So he's at his house and the doorbell rings in la and it's like, Catherine o', Hara, Dave Thomas. Tom Hanks walks in. It's insane. Steve Martin walks in. It's crazy footage.
Sam Morril
Hanks was at the Cellar the other night.
Mark Normand
No way.
Sam Morril
Actually, he was at Cafe Wa.
Mark Normand
He.
Sam Morril
All these famous people were at the Cellar one night. It was like, Olivia Rodrigo and all these people.
Mark Normand
Whoa.
Sam Morril
Yeah. And then they're like, oh, that's Tom Hanks. I was like, oh, shit. You saw him for like a second. Then I guess they went to the Cafe.
Mark Normand
Wah. That's crazy. Wow, that's pretty cool. Cafe. Wow.
Sam Morril
I know. I don't know.
Mark Normand
Go to the Cellar.
Sam Morril
I don't know what they're doing. That's cool. So the doc is what is on Apple?
Mark Normand
Netflix.
Sam Morril
I feel like all these are on Apple usually. Yeah. All right, cool.
Mark Normand
Well, this is not a Apatow joint, so. Got on Netflix.
Sam Morril
Short.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
The dock is short as well.
Mark Normand
Exactly.
Sam Morril
Yeah. All right. That sounds good.
Mark Normand
Really cool. He's just so talented. Like, he's one of these guys who. What the hell are you pulling up? I got sidetracked on Olivia Rucker. Yeah.
Sam Morril
She used to be 14.
Mark Normand
What are you doing? He's such an interesting guy because he has zero. What's the word? Self. Where you second guess yourself.
Sam Morril
No doubt. No self doubt.
Mark Normand
No self doubt. So he just does shit, and he just does these crazy big movements and finds it on stage.
Sam Morril
I would say you were the same way you farted on the biggest touring
Mark Normand
comic in America, Mark Nate Bargazi. Yeah, well, you know, I hear a funny story. Gillis was telling me he did a movie. He did that mad movie, and Christian Bale is in it as one of those announcers.
Sam Morril
Someone in it? Yeah.
Mark Normand
American guy, does the American accent. So Shane said he just does the accent all the time because he's trying to stay in character. Yeah. Huge comedy fan. And he's talking to Gillis and he goes, oh, my God. You're not gonna believe who I saw in the airport the other day. And Shane's like, I don't know who. And he goes, dusty slay. Shane's like, you like Dusty sleighs? Like, I'm a huge comedy fan. I couldn't believe I saw him. I was too scared to approach him. And you're like, dusty slay. I mean, like, Dusty's a funny guy and a cool guy, but the idea of Christian Bale being nervous around Dusty Slay is hilarious. I'm always blow. I have such low self esteem. I'm always blown away when like a big great actor likes comedy.
Sam Morril
I know.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
Or does anyone? Yeah, anyone. When they like it.
Mark Normand
I know, I know. Cool. Like, we have comedy nerds who will like buy our merch and, you know, watch the show every week. They buy Bodega cat. I'm always like, thank God for you.
Sam Morril
I know. I love that. It's fucking Daniel Day Lewis is like Brendan Sagalo. Oh, my God. Hilarious. It's great. I mean. Yeah, I heard about that movie. Nicholas Cage is in it. Edelman's in it. Julian Edelman's in it.
Mark Normand
Oh, nice.
Sam Morril
A lot of people. Maybe David O. Russell hasn't made a movie in a while.
Mark Normand
Yeah, he was great.
Sam Morril
Three Kings fucking Ruled, Killed with Disaster.
Mark Normand
Oh, yeah.
Sam Morril
Ben Stiller also.
Mark Normand
He did a Weird Fighter. Yeah.
Sam Morril
Silver Linings Playbook. He made some great flicks.
Mark Normand
Didn't he do one with Lily Tomlin? It was like a Huckabee. That was it. That was it. Yeah.
Sam Morril
She fucking lost it on him. Remember that?
Mark Normand
I thought he lost it on her.
Producer/Photographer
He lost it on her, but then
Sam Morril
she lost it on him.
Mark Normand
Well, pull that up, man. He's a good director. Yeah, he doesn't get talked about a lot.
Sam Morril
I think he might be. He might have some anger problems.
Mark Normand
Yeah, I think you're right that. Well, so Christian Bale lost it too. Remember that? He had a crazy snap on set and it was very.
Sam Morril
Yeah, but those dudes who go method like that are so in it. They're like.
Mark Normand
Yeah, they snip up.
Sam Morril
Yeah. They're probably an inch away from this.
Mark Normand
Okay, you were looking. You were planning for major B on the right. Put the thing down.
Sam Morril
You can put the boulder down for
Mark Normand
a second to use both hands. Yeah. And take your legs off the desk and a whole bunch of other stuff.
Sam Morril
I thought it was in a car when I was.
Mark Normand
Okay, let's just take it one line at a time instead of changing everything as we. It's very difficult to Even create what you're going to do when it's constant, a barrage of change this, change this,
Sam Morril
do it a different way, do it a different way. You don't get any started.
Mark Normand
Yeah. Okay. So I'm just saying. Let's just, you know, it's impossible. One actor's doing one thing, another actor's doing another. And I'm not. I'm. I'm not as. I'm not as brilliant as you. I can't keep up with you. We're being very efficient.
Sam Morril
Great actors, too.
Mark Normand
Yeah, you're being impatient. Let's rehearse. I couldn't understand you. No, it's not the first time. I thought he was yelling. I remember him yelling.
Sam Morril
There was one in the car. I remember they were in front of the fucking crew.
Mark Normand
There we go. I'm trying to fucking help you figure it out yourself.
Sam Morril
Well, I have.
Mark Normand
Yeah, yourself. Go ahead.
Sam Morril
Why don't you fuck your whole movie?
Mark Normand
Why don't you fuck your whole movie? Because that's what you're doing. Oh, they throw something. We better get some insurance and send. Oh, go do another Wonder Woman show.
Sam Morril
Go.
Mark Normand
Damn.
Sam Morril
By the way, one Woman show is.
Mark Normand
Yeah, I think it won some awards.
Sam Morril
Yeah.
Mark Normand
Whoa. He's off in the distance, screaming, you're a grown up. Comes like, kramer, I'm here to help you. That's all I was doing, trying to help.
Producer/Photographer
Can't wait to see you guys on set.
Mark Normand
This is something.
Sam Morril
Wouldn't that be funny if one of us was just a lunatic? Yeah, like, we're totally chilling that. I know where Mark's like, you're fucking up the movie.
Mark Normand
I said, oat milk. Oh, wow. That was crazy. Pull up the Christian Bale one if he can, because that one was very eloquent. He's still. He's still a British guy at the end of the day.
Sam Morril
I. I had dinner with Lily Tomlin once. And I will say I brought this up. I was like, just curious. And she was like, it's just. Shit gets tense sometimes. He's great. She was like, you know. So she seemed to brush it off.
Mark Normand
How long into the dinner was she like, sam, I'm a lesbian.
Sam Morril
Immediately prior. Was in love with her. You know that.
Mark Normand
No. Yeah.
Sam Morril
Oh, totally in love.
Mark Normand
And he liked the honking.
Sam Morril
She was very pretty back.
Mark Normand
That's true.
Sam Morril
Nashville and stuff.
Mark Normand
Yeah. Yeah. Laughing.
Sam Morril
Ever see shortcuts? Walk around and rip down. No. Shut the Up, Bruce. Do I want. No, no, don't shut me up. Am I gonna walk around and rip your fucking lights down in the middle of a scene. Then why the fuck are you walking right through like this in the background? What the fuck is it with you?
Mark Normand
Conor McGregor.
Sam Morril
He broke his accent.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
Don't you fucking understand? What movie is this?
Producer/Photographer
The Terminator one.
Sam Morril
I believe it's hilarious to have a full on meltdown on a bad movie.
Mark Normand
Yeah, yeah, true.
Sam Morril
Like Rob Schneider's like, will you get it together?
Mark Normand
This is too spicalo.
Sam Morril
Too.
Mark Normand
This is act right. You know, it's funny. My wife gets turned on by this shit. She thinks a guy screaming like that is hot.
Sam Morril
That's a problem.
Mark Normand
Oh, no. Well, she's like, he's passionate. That means he's probably gonna be passionate in bed.
Sam Morril
He's, you know, women like, I think decisive. Yeah.
Mark Normand
Yes.
Producer/Photographer
Knife in the kitchen.
Sam Morril
It was Christian Bale. He was preparing for this movie and. No, there was. I think this is the type of woman who's into that.
Mark Normand
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Cause you know, he's handling business. You know, he's tough, he's taking charge.
Sam Morril
But there's a fine line between, like, I'm in command, I'm in control, and I'm a complete lunatic.
Mark Normand
Well, that's women in a nutshell.
Sam Morril
I don't know what this is. I mean, maybe he's in the right here. I don't know the situation, but.
Mark Normand
Yeah, but women like a fine line. They don't want to get assaulted, but they do want to get choked. I mean, there's a real.
Sam Morril
I mean, you want a guy who's able to protect you, which means he's gotta be a little tough.
Mark Normand
Right. You want a guy who.
Sam Morril
But he's too tough. He might kill you.
Mark Normand
Yeah. Can beat you up, but won't.
Sam Morril
Exactly. Sometimes it's good to remind him every once in a while. You know, I could beat you up.
Mark Normand
Yes, yes.
Sam Morril
But I won't.
Mark Normand
Exactly.
Sam Morril
But I could. I won't do it, though.
Mark Normand
Yeah, I can. And she's like, good. But I won't. She's like, great. Okay.
Sam Morril
But I'm thinking about it right now. But only because you brought it up.
Mark Normand
Yeah. And I'm hard.
Sam Morril
I do like a solo f. We get a lot of our weird out.
Mark Normand
Yeah. David Cross would not find this funny.
Sam Morril
That was fucking weird. I did not know that was a whole thing.
Mark Normand
Oh, yeah.
Sam Morril
That is crazy.
Mark Normand
I did the rounds on the Internet.
Sam Morril
I mean, clearly there's a fucking narrator. There's a fart breakdown.
Mark Normand
David Attborough kicked in. Yeah.
Sam Morril
That is crazy. Have you guys seen each other since?
Mark Normand
Yeah, he. It's you know, fart under the bridge. He totally. You know. I think he's forgotten about it, but still, I'll never forget.
Sam Morril
That would be weird if he was still pissed.
Mark Normand
I know.
Sam Morril
Just looking at you like, you know
Mark Normand
what we should do? We should both, like, stock up on beer, cheese, and cabbage and have them back. Have them back in here and just hot box the shit out of him. You guys are farting. We're farting.
Sam Morril
Let's get some, like, really oily Chinese food.
Mark Normand
Yes.
Sam Morril
And just let it rip.
Mark Normand
Oh, yeah.
Sam Morril
We're drinking prune juice.
Mark Normand
Yeah, we'll lock the door and just fart it up.
Sam Morril
He's like, why are we drinking prune margaritas? We're like, yeah, it'll be a good time.
Mark Normand
Welcome to the gas chamber. We love you, Carlos. We gotta get Odenkirk on here. He was at the Netflix party.
Sam Morril
I know.
Mark Normand
Yeah, he was.
Sam Morril
He's pretty cool.
Mark Normand
A shining light off in the distance I was too scared to approach Amazing career. Like, oh, yeah.
Sam Morril
SNL writer.
Mark Normand
Stand up, Mr. Show.
Sam Morril
Yeah. Then all these great fucking action hero.
Mark Normand
I know.
Sam Morril
I know the most. Like, if you told me he's gonna be an action hero in a movie, like, what?
Mark Normand
We do have a weird kink in America for old dudes being action heroes. Liam Neeson.
Sam Morril
We don't want it. We don't want to confront death. It's mortality.
Mark Normand
That's what it is. It's like a woman getting plastic surgery. I gotta stay hot. Yeah, we gotta stay tough, dude. Woman.
Sam Morril
Plastic surgery.
Mark Normand
Completely.
Sam Morril
Totally. Keanu, if you get trafficked, I could save you. Guess what? If it happens in real life?
Mark Normand
I can't.
Sam Morril
No. No. I can't even save you from the guy with the knife in the kitchen.
Mark Normand
Traffic. You can't even drive.
Sam Morril
I mean, have you ever seen the Equalizer with Denzel?
Producer/Photographer
Yes.
Sam Morril
Where it's literally a girl getting trafficked. And he walks in and he's just like, here's $9,500 for a freedom. Which I'm like, all right, Home Depot salary, let's fucking. What are we doing here? I know. And then they.
Mark Normand
Dakota Fanning.
Sam Morril
No, it's another girl.
Mark Normand
I forgot her name.
Sam Morril
But that's man on Fire. But. But then, of course, they're like, you
Mark Normand
know, man on Fire was Jay Leno. That's an old reference.
Sam Morril
But then he. But then instead, he's like. He's like, I just. He just beats the shit out of, like, nine armed Russians. He's unarmed. I'm like, Denzel's 70, dude.
Mark Normand
Come on.
Sam Morril
I know. I mean, it's enjoyable, but it's a lot of close ups because, you know, he can't move.
Mark Normand
You want him to move. Well, how old's Keanu? I mean, John Wick's on number four
Sam Morril
already, but he moved pretty well.
Mark Normand
He did.
Sam Morril
Especially in the first one.
Mark Normand
Yeah, but it's just weird. We wait till men are after 55 to start kicking ass.
Sam Morril
Does Keanu have the best action movie catalog of anyone? He might have the best action movie catalog.
Mark Normand
You think? With point breaks.
Producer/Photographer
3.
Mark Normand
Matrix. Matrix.
Sam Morril
Speed.
Mark Normand
Speed.
Sam Morril
Point Break, Point Break.
Producer/Photographer
Yeah, no, you got it.
Sam Morril
He might have the best action movie. Rambo, Five Rambos.
Mark Normand
So you're bringing in Stallone, Five Rockies.
Sam Morril
Yeah, but Rocky's not an action movie. It's a sports movie.
Mark Normand
Sports movie. But what about the Dependables? What's it called? Expendables? There's a couple of those they're wearing. Dependable. Depends. All right, same joke. That's a good one.
Sam Morril
Keanu's pretty all time, though.
Mark Normand
I would put Will Smith up there as well.
Sam Morril
Action. Oh, to that.
Mark Normand
Well, he's got a.
Sam Morril
He did hit Chris Rock. That was an action.
Mark Normand
No.
Sam Morril
What is there? I mean, this is like. I think that's untouchable.
Mark Normand
Maybe you're right. Maybe you're right.
Sam Morril
Four John Wicks and they're all pretty fucking good.
Mark Normand
Four John Wicks and three Matrix already.
Sam Morril
Already is crazy. But then he's throwing Point Break Speed.
Mark Normand
And I think Ballerina was. Oh, that's John Wick. Okay, never mind. I was gonna say, I think that's action.
Sam Morril
Speed is so good.
Mark Normand
I love speed. Pop quiz. Hot shot. I saw it in the theater.
Sam Morril
You saw that?
Mark Normand
I was 11. Yeah. It was amazing.
Sam Morril
Oh, that must have been insane.
Mark Normand
It was insane.
Sam Morril
What a dumb concept. And they fucking pulled it off.
Mark Normand
I know, I know. Well, Dennis Hopper is always good.
Sam Morril
A good villain is just everything.
Mark Normand
And Bullock was cute as hell.
Sam Morril
Yeah.
Mark Normand
They had the guy from Ferris Bueller in it randomly.
Sam Morril
Yeah. And then, I mean, Point Break fucking rules.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Producer/Photographer
It's one of the best.
Sam Morril
It's just such a fucking fun movie.
Mark Normand
It's so cheesy, but in a good way.
Sam Morril
It's aware. It knows it's cheesy.
Mark Normand
Yeah, it's fucking great.
Producer/Photographer
Remember a small bar in Brooklyn did Point Break Night, where they would have
Sam Morril
all the actors guys come in and rob the fucking bare.
Producer/Photographer
And they would pull someone out of the audience every night to play Keanu's part. And it was perfect because they weren't actors. And Keanu's such, like, a stiff.
Sam Morril
I'm an FBI agent.
Producer/Photographer
So stiff that just anybody could play the role.
Mark Normand
Well, Lis made the great point that he has to become a surfer in the movie. But he's the only one who sounds like a surfer. It's all these other guys are like, hey, what's up? I'm Flea. And he's like, what's up, man? He's the cop. But he sounds like the Valley guy. He's so good. Is he from la?
Sam Morril
He must be.
Mark Normand
I don't know. I know he's half Filipino. Yeah, it really is. But he's still it. Whatever Keanu is, it don't crack.
Sam Morril
I know.
Mark Normand
He looks amazing. Yeah. Where's he from? Beirut. We were way off. Holy shit. Oh, he's Canadian, huh?
Sam Morril
A lot of good exports, man.
Mark Normand
I know. Comedy is unbelievable.
Sam Morril
I mean, you just mentioned all those SCTV people, then. Fucking Jim Carrey, dude.
Mark Normand
Norm. Yeah, Norm. Seth Rogen, Michael Cera, Martin Short. Yeah. Lorne Michaels. Yeah, Norm. Dan Aykroyd, Rick Moranis, Mike Myers.
Producer/Photographer
Damn, his dad's Hawaiian.
Mark Normand
There you go.
Producer/Photographer
Chinese, English and Portuguese descent.
Mark Normand
I don't like when they add too many. Just give me the two parrots. What are the parrots? I don't know what to call you. Yes. I need a slur. Let's do what he do. What he mixes.
Sam Morril
That's why everyone loves him. He's every group mashed together.
Mark Normand
Ah, you're right, he is.
Sam Morril
When you're that ethnically ambiguous, everyone kind of claims you.
Mark Normand
And he rides motorcycles. He's in a band. I mean, he's a cool dude.
Sam Morril
The motorcycle thing kind of worries me. I think at a certain age, you gotta give that shit up.
Mark Normand
I think he did have an accident.
Sam Morril
Really? That's what I mean. You gotta fucking. I knew a guy who just fell off one of the things. He has a limp now, permanently.
Mark Normand
Whoa.
Sam Morril
Yeah, dude.
Mark Normand
Happened to Dean Del Rey as well.
Sam Morril
He's a limp.
Mark Normand
Yeah. Well, he fucked him up. He was in the hospital for like a week.
Sam Morril
Damn. I mean, that's what I mean. You get to a certain age.
Mark Normand
Yeah, yeah. And it's gotta happen.
Sam Morril
And they make laws and shit for this. It was like a Connecticut law, where you have. They made it all. You have to wear a helmet. Cause they were sick of scraping fucking people off the highway. It's like, you're not gonna wear a
Mark Normand
fucking helmet on a motorcycle on the highway.
Sam Morril
I know.
Mark Normand
That's crazy.
Sam Morril
I think you should wear a helmet with a bike.
Mark Normand
Probably.
Sam Morril
People fucking. We know A guy who died that way.
Mark Normand
Yeah. This guy won't touch a helmet.
Sam Morril
You won't wear a helmet on the bike. I see you always on the bike without a helmet. You should rock one. I hate to sound like an old.
Mark Normand
You're a dad.
Sam Morril
I'm an old and annoying Jew.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Producer/Photographer
I should wear a fucking helmet.
Mark Normand
It's hard to get one around that dome, though. Look at that thing you do.
Sam Morril
The dome.
Mark Normand
A spaghetti strainer or something.
Sam Morril
Spaghetti strainer with a little string.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
He falls. It just makes it worse. Like. Oh, fuck. Oh, God.
Mark Normand
The blood's coming up.
Sam Morril
Squirting in.
Mark Normand
Good times. Good times.
Producer/Photographer
So another thing that happened at the fest that I really like.
Mark Normand
Please.
Producer/Photographer
We interviewed Kevin Nealon and he sat on his balls.
Mark Normand
You're obsessed with the ball sit.
Sam Morril
I don't remember that.
Mark Normand
Yeah. He just went, oh, shit. Sat on my balls. And then he wants to put it on a loop.
Producer/Photographer
Kevin Nealon sits on his balls. It's like 12 million.
Mark Normand
It's like the Simpsons kicked in the groin. You're Homer kick to the groin with mole man. Pull that up if you can, because it goes
Sam Morril
and that and that beat out. Oh, no. Homer wanted that to beat out. Like the moving documentary.
Mark Normand
Wasn't that it? It was like some art.
Sam Morril
It was Barney as like, an alcoholic. And Homer's like, I gotta vote for. I gotta hope for a man gets old man.
Mark Normand
Football's a droid. That's what it is. Getting hit by football. The criticism contest is over. Give that man the $10,000. This isn't America's Funniest Home Videos. That's it. That is the parties. Yeah. Art house flick.
Sam Morril
That is so good.
Mark Normand
The Simpsons unrivaled for that run.
Sam Morril
Nothing's touching it.
Mark Normand
No. And it's still on.
Sam Morril
Prime Simpsons and Prime Seinfeld are like, fucking unbelievable. They're just unbeatable.
Mark Normand
Dude. Can't beat it. Yes. List said Matt Groening or Graining. Nobody knows.
Sam Morril
Was that a show? That's crazy. It's groaning, I think.
Mark Normand
I mean, what a legend that guy is. And no one knows what he looks like. So he could just go anywhere.
Sam Morril
That is all time.
Producer/Photographer
How much money must he have?
Sam Morril
A lot.
Producer/Photographer
Over 500 million.
Mark Normand
Pull it up.
Sam Morril
Yeah, I would think so. Although this shit's never accurate, but that's true. I think he would.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
What have they been on? 40 seasons? Too many seasons. You got to wrap it up.
Mark Normand
Yeah, but if they don't age, fuck it. It's like comfort food. I just see it on. I just leave it On. I don't even listen to it.
Sam Morril
You don't watch the new ones?
Mark Normand
No, no, no.
Sam Morril
But the old ones.
Producer/Photographer
600.
Mark Normand
600. You were close. The. Just the merchandise alone.
Sam Morril
And Futurama. You made a second hit show.
Mark Normand
Yeah, the Futurama is great.
Sam Morril
It's good.
Mark Normand
Yeah. There's movies now. I mean, it's.
Producer/Photographer
This is like Jerry money. Jerry probably has close over 600 million.
Mark Normand
Yeah. He said he's close to a bill.
Sam Morril
Wow.
Mark Normand
Yeah, I said it on some interview. Not to me, I'm not.
Sam Morril
The bill's nice.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
That's gotta be fun.
Mark Normand
Pull up Jerry zinging the guy at the diner on the bike, if you can find it. This might be hard to find.
Sam Morril
What is this?
Mark Normand
So this guy, like a TMZ type guy, is filming Jerry ride a bike. And Jerry parks the bike and goes into a restaurant to meet Larry David or something. And the guy zings Jerry, and it's like a weak, bad zing. And Jerry goes, that was it, huh? That was all you had. You saw me. You had time to prepare. You're never gonna see me again. You're nobody. I'm huge. Here we go.
Sam Morril
It's like the guy in the action movie where they take their best shot.
Mark Normand
Yes.
Sam Morril
And then Steven Seagall just goes.
Mark Normand
Yes. And. But it's such a better move than to read to zing him back. He just. He just insulted the Zing.
Sam Morril
That's all you got?
Mark Normand
Let's see it.
Sam Morril
Is this it? God, tmz. So douchey.
Mark Normand
I know.
Producer/Photographer
Oh, this is where you had breakfast with.
Mark Normand
Oh, yeah. This is the one on 57th. How you doing, man? Brooklyn Diner. How's everything been? Everything good?
Sam Morril
Sure.
Mark Normand
Yeah. Enjoy New York City, man.
Sam Morril
Why are you riding a bike, man?
Mark Normand
You don't need a bike.
Producer/Photographer
Got to come up with something to.
Mark Normand
Well, I would think a guy like. That's all I got. Let me ask you, what's the worst crowd, the worst performance you ever done? Where was it? Like, how'd it go down?
Producer/Photographer
I'm sorry.
Mark Normand
One more time. The worst place. Like you. Bomb. I'm sure comics go through all the time. Another very weak, weak question. You need something? Then what would you want me to ask you? Trying to get this on tmz. Yeah, I am tmz. Yeah. Well, you gotta have something.
Sam Morril
I've seen that show.
Mark Normand
You gotta.
Sam Morril
People that get stuff on that show, they. They ask provocative, interesting questions. I mean, you are an interviewer now.
Mark Normand
That is true.
Producer/Photographer
Correct.
Mark Normand
I don't want to ask anything.
Sam Morril
Asking a comedian about bombing that's like, you know, you ask some kid that is just starting in the business. Yeah.
Producer/Photographer
I'm an old pro.
Mark Normand
Doing it 35 years.
Sam Morril
Yeah. It's like asking a cab driver about
Mark Normand
making a wrong turn. It's like two elements. Schooling the guy. The guy. Like, I get to meet Jerry, and he just jujitsued and flipped the whole thing. And now Jerry's like.
Sam Morril
But he gave him his moment.
Mark Normand
Like, he tried.
Sam Morril
Well, I mean, he gave him a clip, clearly. But also, it's so funny that he's like, I'm not mad. I'm disappointed. Oh, that's the saddest part of this is that he's getting just fucking karate chopped.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
And I mean, oof.
Mark Normand
I know. It says, look at that. Jerry took him to school. Literally. Wow.
Sam Morril
He's like, you're a bad interviewer. Here's why your question's bad.
Mark Normand
Yes, yes.
Producer/Photographer
It's framed poorly. Everything's bad about this.
Mark Normand
Yeah. And he's giving him the time of day, too. And the guy's still blew it.
Sam Morril
You're ambushing a legend with, why do you ride a bike? You don't need to ride a bike. I don't know. Some people fucking ride. It's like asking someone, why are you on the subway? It's a fucking easy way to travel.
Mark Normand
Right, Right.
Sam Morril
Maybe he likes riding a bike.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
Who gives a shit?
Mark Normand
I just love that you never see, because I don't.
Sam Morril
You want to take a fucking private jet to the diner? What are you expecting?
Mark Normand
But if I were Jerry, I'd be like, what can I say back? What's a good line? But this was a way better move was to take him down.
Sam Morril
Yeah.
Mark Normand
To undress the guy.
Producer/Photographer
What did Jerry say to you after? He said, this is Monique.
Sam Morril
Not funny.
Mark Normand
That's not funny.
Sam Morril
We all laughed, though. It was, no. Well, this is worse because he fucking likes Mark.
Mark Normand
Well, hopefully, but he gave me the point, too. He goes, that's not funny. And I went, deflated. What can you do?
Sam Morril
The private jet. He sees the pilot, he goes, osama, not funny. He's like, get off the jet. Get up.
Mark Normand
The pilot is in the audience. Yeah. Well, you ever seen that Curb episode where he goes, hey, your wife's got nice tits. And he goes, why the would you talk about my wife still? He can't say that. He goes, I took a risk. That's my whole comedy monster.
Sam Morril
Who said that?
Mark Normand
Larry.
Sam Morril
He says, yeah, he's talking to some guy.
Mark Normand
And he goes, boy, your wife's got great tits. And the guy flips he's like, you can't talk about. Why would you say anything goes? That's my whole life.
Sam Morril
You're gonna be on the jet with him. You're gonna say the wrong thing. He and his wife are gonna parachute out like a Point Break.
Mark Normand
I'm so cold, Johnny.
Sam Morril
That's cuz you're dying, man. Hey, you're losing blood and you're gonna die. And he's like. He's like, why do you have to be so direct?
Mark Normand
Yeah, it's a little literal.
Sam Morril
You losing blood, man?
Mark Normand
Oh, yeah. See, I took a risk. When I saw that, I jerked off.
Sam Morril
I laughed. I laughed at both. Yeah, I laughed at how inappropriate you were and I laughed at. Jerry called it out. I thought it was fucking funny.
Mark Normand
I thought, yeah. Taking risks here. We're going for it. We're all comedians. It's a private setting.
Sam Morril
I took a risk. I mean, one of my favorite curb moments is when Larry is playing cards and the guy folds on a great hand. And Larry goes, you fucking cunt. Oh, you cunt. And he just won't let up. And everyone shuts down around him and goes, that's a very misogynistic term. All these proper people are like, excuse me. And he's like, but it was a cunty thing. He can't let it go. That is like. That is prime Larry David. That is like at his peak.
Mark Normand
Totally. And the guy was a little effeminate too. So he was like. He was like triggered and taken aback. And they had to hold him and console him. So good.
Sam Morril
Being held after being called a cunt is the cuntiest thing ever. It solidifies that you're a cunt. So that whole scene had me dying, dying. Calling an adult man a cunt and not letting it go.
Mark Normand
And then later, if you know the episode, they're like, the wife's like, we can't have Larry over anymore. I think he's inappropriate. I think he's over the line. And it shows him and Cheryl in the car together. And they're jokingly. She's like, you can't say that. He's like, don't tell me what you say. And he like, fake hits her. And they think it's real. Cause it's through the windshield.
Sam Morril
So good. Oh, man, Such a good episode.
Mark Normand
Wait, is this it? I don't know about this.
Sam Morril
Nothing happened with the dog.
Mark Normand
Well, obviously something happened. Okay, but it says I took a risk right there.
Producer/Photographer
I know, but it's. One second.
Mark Normand
Oh, fuck.
Sam Morril
I took a risk.
Mark Normand
Oh, it's A gif.
Producer/Photographer
Yeah.
Mark Normand
Oh, this could be a virus of some kind that's on Peter's.
Producer/Photographer
No, Nothing.
Mark Normand
Nothing. All right, well, maybe YouTube. I mean, it's not.
Producer/Photographer
It's not on YouTube.
Mark Normand
We described it. I took a really a. Curb has some fucking moments and it'll never come back. I guess. I guess it's done.
Sam Morril
They went out. It's such a. It's such a classic.
Mark Normand
Oh, yeah.
Sam Morril
Are you Curb or Seinfeld? Gun the head.
Mark Normand
Damn, that's tough. Oh, geez.
Sam Morril
They're both so good. I mean, and Curb has that Seinfeld season, which is so good. One of the best seasons.
Mark Normand
The eye toilets. Yeah. I'd probably go Seinfeld because it's a more well rounded show, I think. And Curb can get a little off the rails sometimes because it's unscripted, but Curb's got the edge also. I haven't seen it as much. Larry is like my hero.
Sam Morril
I feel like Seinfeld's like a great leadoff hitter that just always gets on base. And then Curb is like a home run hitter where it doesn't always work, but when it works, it's like it's fucking 450ft.
Mark Normand
Exactly.
Sam Morril
It's killer.
Mark Normand
Great analogy.
Sam Morril
Like, Seinfeld is so consistent. It's so like, you know, I can put on any episode. I'm just like, oh, my God, everyone's. And when it really finds its footing, too, in, like, season two, three, where you're like, oh, my God, this is. Shows used to get that moment to cook and figure it out, but when it really is cooking.
Mark Normand
Oh. And then it ties up at the end. It's a beautiful thing.
Sam Morril
It's perfect. And every character's perfect. And there weren't female characters who were that funny back then. They didn't let women be funny.
Mark Normand
Yeah. And Elaine is unreal.
Sam Morril
There was a couple shows, but, like, very few, where a woman is as funny as a man.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
And Elaine's hilarious.
Mark Normand
And talk about goalposts. You always say the goalpost moved. There's a scene where a guy whips it out on Elaine.
Sam Morril
I know.
Mark Normand
And it's a joke. She's like, he took it out and it's a big laugh. Yeah.
Sam Morril
Crazy.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
He's a sexual predator, that guy.
Mark Normand
I know. And we're laughing and we're laughing.
Sam Morril
It's a different time.
Mark Normand
I mean, there's a mouth rape joke. Sorry.
Sam Morril
Oh, same joke.
Mark Normand
Same joke. He goes, so what happened? Because he gets knocked out in the dentist's office. And then he's Like, I don't know, but I was spitting a rinse like there was no tomorrow. He put his dick in my mouth.
Sam Morril
Yes.
Mark Normand
Which is insane.
Producer/Photographer
So Bryan Cranston was in this building
Sam Morril
and we couldn't get him on the pod.
Producer/Photographer
We couldn't. And I got a second to photograph him.
Mark Normand
I had, like, what?
Sam Morril
I had just a few frames. Let's see it.
Mark Normand
You're tmz.
Producer/Photographer
Let me tell the story first, because I can't find it.
Sam Morril
What's the worst audition you've ever had, Brian?
Mark Normand
Biggest bomb.
Producer/Photographer
So I was like, I gotta tell you, I'm a big Seinfeld guy. And for. When you were studying your character, Watley.
Sam Morril
Yeah.
Producer/Photographer
Do you think that in the background when you're studying for your character, you think you sexually assaulted Jerry?
Mark Normand
You said that.
Producer/Photographer
I said that.
Mark Normand
Whoa.
Sam Morril
Well, you're that fucking nerd.
Mark Normand
You're that.
Sam Morril
You're that Comic Con guy.
Mark Normand
Was it real
Producer/Photographer
actors do background in their mind.
Sam Morril
Totally. And he's like a serious actor.
Producer/Photographer
Yes.
Sam Morril
So he gave me.
Producer/Photographer
He gave me a dead stare, like, oh, wow. Fucking asked this. And then he said. I like to think that under the ether, he gave consent.
Sam Morril
Damn, that's weird.
Mark Normand
That's a stretch. That's like. What do you call that? Refactored history. Reinventing history. There's a word for it.
Sam Morril
Revisionist.
Mark Normand
Revisionist. That's revisionist.
Producer/Photographer
I think he was joking.
Sam Morril
Yeah.
Producer/Photographer
But, yeah.
Sam Morril
Yeah. I don't think he's ever been asked a question that crazy. That is. I mean, the episode. I think he converted to Judaism just for the jokes.
Mark Normand
Oh, amazing.
Sam Morril
A shtickle of fluoride. Fucking classic.
Mark Normand
Are you offended as a Jewish person? No, I'm offended as a comedian.
Sam Morril
It's so classic. That's like that great Chappelle bit. Remember that? That's a great photo. Remember when Chappelle did the Michael Richards bit?
Mark Normand
Yes.
Sam Morril
And he said that N word's having a bad set. Yeah. That was brilliant.
Mark Normand
That's what I knew. I was 10% black and 90% comedian.
Sam Morril
That's a brilliant joke.
Mark Normand
Incredible.
Sam Morril
That's a great pick of Peter's, dude.
Mark Normand
Oh, yeah. Look at that green suit. Yeah. What were you doing? That Jolly Green Giant Cranston was coming in.
Producer/Photographer
He dressed up.
Mark Normand
Is that velvet?
Sam Morril
Yeah. Oh, the suit.
Mark Normand
It looks like maybe not.
Sam Morril
Wow, that's a cool pick.
Mark Normand
Cranston's a great actor.
Sam Morril
How do you approach him when he. When he's there?
Producer/Photographer
Can I just get a minute to do a portrait?
Sam Morril
That's cool. And he was.
Producer/Photographer
And then ask him the most awkward question ever.
Sam Morril
That's his. That's literally his reaction to your question.
Producer/Photographer
So they came in to do this pod for. What was it called? What's the pod called? Oh, all right.
Sam Morril
Yes. No, maybe.
Producer/Photographer
Which is about Malcolm in the Middle, and he.
Sam Morril
And they can get him and we can't, is what you're trying to say. Well, apparently, his PR people do not like us or me.
Mark Normand
Just me. You guys are fine. We know why. All right, I need to bring it up.
Producer/Photographer
So Mark farted on one of our guests. This is a continuing theme.
Mark Normand
That's not my kind of humor.
Sam Morril
They repped David Cross, and the PR
Producer/Photographer
person lost their fucking mind and said, never again.
Sam Morril
And the guest didn't lose. I know, but they think that we're crude. What happened?
Producer/Photographer
Dave Franco's coming on.
Mark Normand
Whoa. So that's weird.
Sam Morril
So their client was Alison Brie. So we can get.
Mark Normand
We can get her husband.
Sam Morril
We can get Dave Franco, but we can't get.
Producer/Photographer
Interesting. I didn't say who. The person he farted on who got
Sam Morril
upset, but she didn't seem to be upset.
Mark Normand
I've seen the clip. It's. She. She giggled.
Sam Morril
She didn't giggle, but she. Revisionist history right there.
Mark Normand
She gave consent.
Sam Morril
She liked it. She liked it even worse. She used to be 14.
Mark Normand
Pull up the clip, God damn it. I think there was a smirk. She said something like, I was gonna pretend like it didn't happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sam Morril
No, she wasn't. She didn't seem pissed.
Mark Normand
No, not at all.
Sam Morril
But the PR people, I think, were in shock. They're probably used to Fallon.
Mark Normand
They're used. Exactly.
Sam Morril
They're used to, like the most.
Mark Normand
I wish you a cartoon like getting away with things. I just farted. No one caught it.
Sam Morril
I caught it.
Mark Normand
I wasn't gonna say anything. Damn giggle. I tasted it. Oh, no. Yeah, you can get away.
Sam Morril
I thought she played it up perfectly.
Mark Normand
I thought so, too. But we looked. That was like. What was that, 15 years ago? We look at a whole different.
Sam Morril
She's literally. Mark's like, she liked it. She's in the elevator with the VR people. Never again. How dare you. Never forget.
Mark Normand
Well, I doubt she's been farted on an interview.
Sam Morril
Yeah, I would. I would bet that. Yeah, she's great. Love Madman.
Mark Normand
Dude. So cool.
Sam Morril
What are we getting?
Mark Normand
Slattery and Ham Community.
Sam Morril
No dice.
Mark Normand
I bet. Oh, really? Well, maybe when Slattery coming on. Stepping stone to Ham.
Sam Morril
When's. When's Joan coming on? When we get Christina Hendricks.
Mark Normand
Oh, I won't fart on Her. Oh, really? Wait, that's a lock?
Sam Morril
Yeah.
Mark Normand
She said yes. That's gonna be tough to.
Sam Morril
She's awesome.
Mark Normand
Gotta. Gotta be on the best behavior there, Sam. Yeah, dude, you're gonna be. Eyes up here. Sam's a tit man. Jesus Christ.
Sam Morril
I'm a full baggage man.
Mark Normand
All right.
Sam Morril
Am I a tip man?
Mark Normand
Oh, yeah, yeah, Big time.
Sam Morril
You think so?
Mark Normand
Since I've known you.
Sam Morril
I don't think she would ever force me. What are you?
Mark Normand
I'm a full pack. I'm not like a tit guy, but I like tits. I like ass. I like a leg. I like.
Sam Morril
I mean, face is obviously most important.
Mark Normand
Not for me. Really? Yeah. I'll do a butter.
Sam Morril
Really?
Mark Normand
Oh, yeah. I don't mind the butter. Face is almost hotter to me because it's like all body. Does that make sense?
Sam Morril
Yeah, but the body you can fix. The face you can't fix.
Mark Normand
That's true.
Sam Morril
I guess you can now with it.
Mark Normand
I guess you can.
Sam Morril
Surgery and stuff. But that's kind of weird too.
Producer/Photographer
Kind of more appreciative.
Mark Normand
You're looking.
Sam Morril
You're looking at the face more.
Mark Normand
I guess they're not. Not doggy. I guess in my scenario, we're not going on a date. Where'd he go?
Sam Morril
I don't know. We walked him. Dude, all this part talk has offended our producer, Matt Peters.
Producer/Photographer
God, she's beautiful.
Sam Morril
She is an attractive woman. And she's so cool on Mad Men.
Mark Normand
I know.
Sam Morril
I mean, that's like. That is like the tough character. I love her arc and I love that she is a part of the company and I love that she's been through the wringer.
Mark Normand
Totally.
Sam Morril
She's just like. I mean, one of the coolest characters and every character on that show is great. That show's a fucking masterpiece.
Mark Normand
It really is. Was it amc?
Sam Morril
Yeah, and Breaking Bad.
Mark Normand
What a run.
Producer/Photographer
Catching shit today for not having black people on the show.
Mark Normand
It's 1962 and there were black people.
Sam Morril
They were like in the elevator and stuff. Yeah. It wasn't enough, obviously, but it was.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
I mean, look. Period pieces, you know?
Mark Normand
Yeah. I mean, what about Asians? What about Latinos?
Producer/Photographer
Like, they're like, well, it's New York in the 60s. There are black and Hispanic people everywhere.
Sam Morril
There were some black characters in the show, but yeah, there weren't a lot. For sure.
Mark Normand
Yeah. There was the one where Peggy slept at the black lady's house and then she stared at her purse. Remember that?
Producer/Photographer
Oh, wow.
Mark Normand
Yeah. So that wasn't it. Not a great look. But again, it's the 60s, and there's
Sam Morril
an episode where Roger did blackface. I don't know what they're talking about.
Mark Normand
Good point. And they got robbed by a black guy on the sidewalk at one point. On a date. Representation. Representation.
Sam Morril
No, it's a great. Save these for the next Kevin Hart roast. But no, it's a. It's. Dude, it's a perfect show. It's incredible.
Mark Normand
Oh, incredible. Yeah. I mean, it made ham.
Sam Morril
Yeah.
Mark Normand
Put them on the map. For sure.
Sam Morril
It's great. Should we. Should we plug some.
Mark Normand
Yeah. Dates going. Oh, you had a weird face. Oh, okay. Guess that's just your face. Here we go.
Sam Morril
I got the Turning Stone Casino in Verona on June 6th. And then. Yeah, I got a big little. I'm gonna add some stuff soon, but hopefully we're filming a movie in July.
Mark Normand
Hopefully.
Sam Morril
We're working on it. I got August 30th, Lisbon. Then Athens, Greece, Budapest, Zagreb. In Croatia, Vienna. Warsaw. I think we're at a second in Warsaw. I'm pretty pumped for that. Helsinki, Stockholm, and Copenhagen. And then I had some stuff I'm building up. I'm building up in the city at. At Comedy Cellar and other clubs. I'm bouncing around. Did your show last night. They were kind of tough last night.
Mark Normand
They were. Everybody had a. We all struggled.
Sam Morril
I got off stage. Becky Ohm got off stage. I go, how you doing, man? He goes, better. Before that set.
Mark Normand
Yeah, they were.
Sam Morril
And I said, oh, yeah. And then I went up and I was like, oh, you ain't lying.
Mark Normand
Yeah.
Sam Morril
What was it? They. I usually get a nice pop at your show, and I got no pop.
Mark Normand
No pop. They were a lot of foreigners, and I think it was hot as shit in the room. The room is too hot.
Sam Morril
I feel like that's been a problem there.
Mark Normand
It is. It's a.
Sam Morril
But your show is like. Like, literally my. I feel, like, so confident going into your show. And I left. Like, I don't have as much as I thought.
Mark Normand
No, we all. But I wouldn't judge them by that. They were tough. All right. When's this come out? Geez. Oh, Sunday. Okay. I'll be in Philly. I think it's all sold out. I do well in Philly. And then we got.
Sam Morril
Oh, helium.
Mark Normand
Yeah. Back in the clubs. Wind Creek Event center in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Oh, that's a November.
Sam Morril
That's a great one.
Mark Normand
Oh, is it Spokane Comedy Club? We added a 4pm it's not selling. Milwaukee, improv, Irvine improv, back to LA. Bringing the. Bringing the boy to LA. Whoa. Yeah. Mark Ridley's comedy Castle. And outside of Detroit, Royal Oak. And then Hilarities in Cleveland. All great rooms, great club. Emerald City in Seattle. Never been excited. Hold on. David Cross. All right, you said the N word. Cops Comedy Club at a ssf. Houston Improv. That's a big room. Love, love Texas. Zany's in Nashville. Here we go. Pittsburgh Improv.
Sam Morril
All classics. You might have to move some of these though.
Mark Normand
Yeah, if we make a movie, I'm ready to move.
Sam Morril
If we make a movie, I'm fucking pumped. I don't want to jinx this, but I'm feeling a little good about it.
Mark Normand
Yeah. Apparently they've been location scouting.
Sam Morril
That's what I hear.
Mark Normand
Regina. Regina, Saskatchewan, Calgary, Alberta and Minneapolis to name a few.
Sam Morril
And follow us at Punchup Live. MarkNorman. Punchup Live. Samorrill. You can get our exclusive content there and also get our mailing list because all the apps are burying our shit. You can't see where we're gonna be. And this, you'll see it. And yeah, we got Mark's documentary with Salacus. A Markumentary. Oh yeah, Pushing Boulder. Doing great on YouTube right now.
Producer/Photographer
450,000 views.
Sam Morril
That's amazing.
Mark Normand
We're gonna hit half a mil soon. And get some Bodega cat.
Sam Morril
Get some Bodega Cat. Any places to shout out? Cause I think made some progress in Ohio. I think we're legal in Ohio now.
Mark Normand
Legal Ohio. And maybe Jersey. We just got a new distributor.
Sam Morril
New distributor. So yeah, no longer with park street in Jersey. More than that. Coming soon. New distribution. If you have a bar in Jersey, you want Bodega Cat. Dm, the Bodega Cat Instagram account. Bodega Cat whiskey.
Mark Normand
Hell yeah.
Sam Morril
And talk to our boy Matt Herman. And we're cruising with it. It's more and more restaurants in New York City. Chicago hit us up too. We're legal in Illinois, so let's keep fucking moving. Love you guys. See you next week.
Mark Normand
Woo hoo.
Sam Morril
Comedy Sunday's the day for my next offender.
Mark Normand
A bit of piva wreck. You know, the beer Jew's close.
Sam Morril
I've had a little too much burping. And Norman's talking shit about the fucking poke.
Mark Normand
And I get down in the same
Sam Morril
way up on the roof like the cops coming.
Mark Normand
And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous.
Sam Morril
I'm out to lunch here in in New Orleans.
Mark Normand
This woman doesn't look like I remember her. And I get down in the same way.
Sam Morril
We might be true.
Episode Date: May 18, 2026
Hosts: Mark Normand, Sam Morril
Production: Gotham Production Studios, LLC
This episode features a lively, no-holds-barred catch-up between New York comedians Mark Normand and Sam Morril. They recount their wild week in LA, including stories from the Netflix comedy brunch, the celebrity-packed group photo, run-ins with comedy legends, and the drama and camaraderie of the recent major Roast event. As always, the episode is packed with sharp comedic banter, irreverent anecdotes (often involving drinking, misadventures, and bodily functions), and sincere discussion about comedy craft, industry quirks, friendships, TV classics, and even their personal relationships.
Wild LA Week:
The hosts share exhaustion and post-party vibes after a week of heavy drinking, stacked podcasts, and shows in LA.
Netflix Brunch Stories:
Brunch Menu Riffs:
Sam and Mark joke about the soul food-inspired menu:
Group Photo Drama:
Private Jet Offer Mishap (04:41-06:26):
Jet Social Anxiety:
Passport Fiasco:
Mark forgets his passport before a Canada gig; agent pushes him to take a red-eye, retrieve it, then fly back.
Desperate for Sleep:
Mark resorts to getting drugs from a Comedy Store door guy, driven to his house by a fan:
Backstage Antics & Boasting:
Stories about drinking with other comedians (Bodega Cat whiskey, etc.), celebrity run-ins, and jokes about who drinks and who doesn't.
Roasting Shaq:
Sam describes the anxiety of roasting legend Shaquille O’Neal:
Roast of the Year Breakdown (14:38-21:39):
Both hosts analyze the tone and social dynamics of the Netflix Roast (apparent real animosity, darkness of jokes, difference from roasts past).
TV Set Dynamics/SNL Crowd (22:41–23:28):
Favorite Roast Sets (23:30–24:38):
Rules of Couplehood:
Bonding over Sickness:
True Crime Doco Obsession (44:44–45:53):
Classic Sitcom Riffs (69:24–78:56):
Roast Jokes and Social Context (25:34–26:24):
Martin Short Documentary Recommendation (51:52–53:15):
Actor Meltdowns & On Set Drama (55:38–60:41):
Keanu Reeves Action Movie Debate (64:00–66:53):
Comedy Fan Surprises (54:12–54:49):
Agents & Representation (06:59):
Podcast Guest Booking Politics (80:13–82:32)
“It was very high school... When you’re talking to one of the big dogs, it does feel like you’re talking to a hot chick in a bar and people just swarm, waiting for you to fuck up.”
— Sam Morril (01:38)
“If you want a place to spell would, like, do whatever you want. We’re fucking, I got stuff to do.”
— Sam on NY indifference to witches (43:57)
“Racism is hilarious... in the right context.”
— Mark Normand (25:34)
“Once you start pooping and farting, it just opens a door to grossness.”
— Sam Morril (38:36)
“Christian Bale being nervous around Dusty Slay is hilarious.”
— Mark Normand (54:49)
| Segment | Timestamp | |---------------------------------------|------------| | Netflix Brunch & LA Recap | 00:32-06:36| | Private Jet Offer & Travel Fiascoes | 04:41-09:18| | Backstage Drinks, Shaq Roast | 09:18-11:14| | Roast of the Year Discussion | 14:38-21:39| | David Cross "Fartgate" Incident | 27:06-30:07| | Relationship & Domestic Life Peeves | 35:36-40:44| | True Crime & Documentary Talk | 44:44-45:53| | SNL/Crowd Dynamics, Standup TV Sets | 22:41-23:28| | Simpsons/Seinfeld Sitcom Riffs | 69:24-78:56| | Keanu Reeves/Action Movie Rankings | 64:00-66:53| | Martin Short Doc Recommendation | 51:52-53:15| | Actor On-Set Meltdowns | 55:38-60:41| | Comedy Fan Surprises | 54:12-54:49| | Guest Booking Politics | 80:13-82:32| | Upcoming Comedy Dates/Plugs | 86:05-89:10|
The episode is quick, punchy, and self-deprecating, alternating between inside-comedy talk, personal oversharing, cultural commentary, and raucous off-the-cuff jokes. The show leans into a “no filter” style, with banter about showbiz hierarchy, roasting, relationships, and the indignities of both celebrity and everyday life. If you love behind-the-scenes comedy stories and can handle (or crave) juvenile humor blended with razor-sharp smart talk, this episode delivers.
A whirlwind, laugh-packed, and gloriously irreverent conversation—this episode offers a unique backstage pass to the world of comedians at their most candid. Expect stories of LA excess, how comedy’s social scene works (and sometimes doesn’t), what happens when you fart on a comedy legend, and why the right roast joke, or group photo, can make or break your week. The episode is a master class in hanging out, showbiz anxiety, and loving comedy—warts, bodily functions, and all.