One More Drink w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand

Summary

---

We Might Be Drunk — "One More Drink" with Sam Morril & Mark Normand (July 27, 2026): Detailed Summary

---

Episode Overview

In this lively solo episode of "We Might Be Drunk," NYC stand-up comedians Mark Normand and Sam Morril are joined by producer Renan as they riff through tales from the road, discuss the challenges and joys of comedy, test new material, and dig into pop culture, food, and more. With plenty of laughs and a few drinks, they cover recent travels, comedic encounters, joke workshop segments, New York summer life, and pop cultural phenomena, all wrapped in their unique, quick-fire banter.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

---

1. Summer Recaps, Suburban Stints, and the Joys of Slushies

• Mark’s Suburban July 4th: Mark spent Independence Day with family in the suburbs, highlighting kid antics ("One kid broke my watch" – Mark, 00:20) and the chaos of wrestling little kids.
• Slushy Nostalgia: Mark brings in a slushy maker, delighting the crew and sparking a chat about homemade frozen cocktails and the joys/disappointments of cheap ice makers (00:48–01:15).
• Pepsi vs. Coke: They riff on slushy flavors, which devolves into a comedic analogy from Mark ("That was like the kid version of banging a trans girl on accident. Like, what? It’s Pepsi. I had no idea." – Mark, 01:35).

---

2. The Eternal Bagel Debate

• Bagel Licensing Saga: Renan shares a story about a new bagel shop without bagels due to license issues, sparking incredulity and jokes about what counts as a "bagel license" (01:49–02:26).
• NYC Bagel Culture: Sam and Mark banter about bagel types, proper toppings, and the ritualistic nature of New York bagel shops. ("Open face is the way. Why did we cave to the sandwich?" – Sam, 02:57).
• Larry David Scene: Imagines a "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode around bagel “scooping” and New York deli faux pas (03:17–03:33).

---

3. Comic Encounters: Fans & Boundaries

• Young Comics on Trains: Mark describes being approached by an aspiring comic for advice during a long subway ride (Atlantic Barclays to 14th St – a "long one," 06:04), drawing comparisons to "mariachi bands you can't escape" and the difficulty setting boundaries (05:04–07:19).
• Mentorship & Vibes: Discussion on the difference between aspiring comics who respect boundaries and those who overstep. Key advice: offer outs and be self-aware ("Even a casual conversation needs a little distance." – Sam, 08:46).
• Fans Knowing Everything: Sam recalls Marc Maron’s challenges with fans knowing so much from podcasts, including dating complications ("Feels like these women know everything about his life." – Sam, 11:17).

---

4. Comedy Club Stories & Material Development

• Testing Jokes in Suburban Clubs: Sam and Mark swap memories of early gigs in suburban areas, audience walkouts over dark jokes, and struggles with new material post-vacation (13:26–14:45).
• Comic Lineage: Anecdotes about talented openers who move on to write for major roasts, and the mixed feelings headliners have about following crush-worthy young comics (13:56–14:08).

---

5. Pop Culture, Movies, and TV

• "Citizen Vigilante" Roast: The viral infamy of the film "Citizen Vigilante" (starring Armie Hammer) inspires jokes about dreadful cinema, "reverse Hannah Gadsby" Rotten Tomatoes scores, and vigilante films gone wrong ("When you watch it, you’re gonna want to bite your arm off." – Mark, 20:50).
• Aging Action Stars: Debate about the realism of older actors still headlining action films, with Denzel, Keanu, and references to "Equalizer," "John Wick," and "Man on Fire" (23:17–23:46).
• Upcoming/Recent Movies: Brief opinions on sequels like "Gladiator 2," Ridley Scott’s "The Last Duel," and summer favorites like "Sexy Beast" (30:38–31:27).
• TV Recommendations: Enthusiastic recs for "Widow's Bay," "Beef" season two, and the legendary documentary "Hoop Dreams" ("It’s a 10 out of 10 movie... as good a doc as has ever been made." – Sam, 71:46).
• Broadway Shoutout: Matteo Lane’s performance in "Chicago" gets high praise ("On Broadway. That’s like gay mountaintop... He killed it." – Mark, 18:28–18:36).

---

6. Sports Chatter

• NYC Summer: Reflections on heat waves, Yankees games, the World Cup’s effect on the city, and tourists marvelling at American customs (fireworks from the train, Buc-ees, AC with free ice).
• Soccer & Tennis: Soccer’s limited appeal in the U.S., fandom of World Cup stars (Haaland), and Sam raving about Wimbledon.
• Team Names: Classic bit about franchises with non-local team names ("Can’t have Utah Jazz," "Denver Heat doesn’t work," etc. – Mark, 62:44–63:06).

---

7. Comedy Workshop: "Working On Any Bits"

A regular segment where Sam, Mark (and Renan) test-drive or riff out new jokes and premises from the note apps on their phones.

(43:38–59:54)

• Sex Work & Comedy Parallels: Sam experiments with jokes tying the stigma and parent-shame of comedy to sex work: "No one leaves OnlyFans for teaching," "It’s just a job you leave for, not to." (33:26–34:42)
• World Records: Jokes about Bonnie Blue (who allegedly had sex with over 1,000 men in a day), the effort required, and the difference between male/female sexual achievement (35:16–36:12).
• Immigration/Patriotism Angle: Mark’s premise that the people who claim "America sucks" want others to immigrate, while the patriotic ones say "don’t come." ("It’s like a shitty party—if it sucks, you want others to come suffer." – Sam, 37:25–37:45)
• Romantic Nostalgia: Mark wonders why modern romance mimics old-timey poverty—carriage rides, stargazing, etc.—and riffs about how privilege is now doing "poor people stuff for fun." (“What’s romantic about being Amish for three hours?” – Mark, 57:21).
• Comedian Brain: Sam laments never being present—even during sex—for fear of losing a joke: "I gotta come so I can write this down." (45:30–46:11)
• Ozempic: Mark explores the rise of diet injections, privilege, and the extinction of "fat guys," with riffs about American excess. ("If I were fat, I’d just do heroin. You get high, it’s cheaper, and you’re cool." – Mark, 52:58)

---

8. Peeves Segment

(64:25–69:09)

• Snooze Button Inconsideration: Sam slams people who constantly hit snooze, robbing their partner of sleep ("Sleep is our one benefit from this job... you’re taking it away!" – Sam, 64:57), with riffs on comic schedules and sleep priorities.
• Comics Talking in Showrooms: Mark vents about comedians talking loudly at the back of shows, ruining sets and drawing ire from comics on stage (68:02–68:34).

---

9. Closing Recommendations & Tour Plugs

• "Hoop Dreams" Documentary: Both hosts gush about the classic sports doc, with Sam calling it a "10 out of 10 movie" and expanding on its emotional range and scope (71:46–73:14).
• Shows & Events: Tour dates and shows plugged for U.S. and European cities. Mark highlights East Hampton, SF, Houston, Nashville, and more, while Sam previews his European run, with jokes about new material being less "dick-centric" in the future (79:20–80:13).
• New Merch: Teasers for new "Drunk Cat" shirts and other merch inspired by prior episode bits (81:23–81:35).

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [01:35] Mark: "That was like the kid version of banging a trans girl on accident. Like, what? It’s Pepsi. I had no idea."
• [05:05] Mark: "How long did it take for you to, like, make it? Well, you’re fucked if you’re worried about that."
• [09:22] Sam: "Train is a moment where you can kind of zone out a little bit... you need those train rides where you just kind of zone out and let your mind wander."
• [11:24] Sam: "Feels like these women know everything about his life."
• [18:28] Mark: "On Broadway. That’s like gay mountaintop. Like, that’s—you made it to Mount Olympus."
• [20:50] Mark: "When you watch it, you’re gonna want to bite your arm off."
• [37:25] Sam: "It's like when you’re at a party that sucks vs. a party that’s awesome. When you’re at a shitty party, you’re like, 'You gotta come over, dude.'"
• [45:30] Sam: "During sex, I think of a good joke and then I’m like, I gotta come so I can write this down."
• [52:58] Mark: "If I was fat, I would just do heroin. You get high, it’s cheaper, and you’re cool."
• [64:57] Sam: "We get to sleep in... you’re taking it away."
• [71:46] Sam: "It’s a 10 out of 10 movie... as good a doc as has ever been made."
• [80:13] Sam: "Hopefully I have some jokes that aren’t about my penis or vagina by then."

---

Segment Timestamps

| Time | Segment/Topic | |-------------|-------------------------------------------------------| | 00:06–01:46 | Introductions, suburban July 4th, slushy nostalgia | | 01:46–03:35 | Bagel debates & NYC food rituals | | 05:04–06:11 | Young comics seeking advice; navigating fan boundaries| | 10:59–12:46 | Comedy career insights, stories from the road | | 13:56–14:45 | Memorable openers, struggles with new material | | 18:00–18:48 | Matteo Lane on Broadway, NYC fireworks | | 20:26–23:17 | "Citizen Vigilante" & bad movie talk | | 23:38–24:18 | Action movie debates, old stars vs. young heroes | | 30:38–31:27 | Movie recs: "Last Duel," "Sexy Beast" | | 43:38–59:54 | New material workshop: sex work, romance, patriotism | | 64:25–69:12 | Peeves: snooze button rage, comics talking in showroom| | 71:46–73:14 | Recommendations: "Hoop Dreams," new TV binges | | 79:20–81:46 | Tour dates, merch, and closing plugs |

---

Language & Tone

The language is irreverent, quick-witted, self-deprecating, and intentionally edgy. Both Sam and Mark balance sharp observational comedy with sincere moments about their craft and modern life, never missing a chance for a callback, an inside-comedy reference, or a joke that pushes boundaries. Plenty of rapid-fire banter, gentle ribbing, and breaking into character voices and hypothetical standup bits.

---

Conclusion

This episode of "We Might Be Drunk" is a quintessential hang with two of NYC’s sharpest comics, bouncing between genuine industry advice, the daily grind of new joke writing, pop culture dissection, and pure comic chemistry. Highlights include relatable peeves, tales of navigating comedy crowds, reflections on privilege, and the endless grind of being funny for work and life alike.

Highly recommended moments:

• [01:35] "Pepsi/Trans girl" analogy
• [06:11–07:19] Navigating young comic interactions
• [37:25] "Shitty party" immigration analogy
• [45:30] "Comedian brain" during sex
• [52:58] Ozempic/fat guy extinction
• [71:46] "Hoop Dreams" recommendation

---

For more: Check out the full episode at your favorite podcast platform or visit the "We Might Be Drunk" YouTube channel.

Transcript

[Mark Normand]

Hey, we're here. We might be drunk, baby. Solo app.

[Sam Morril]

I love a solo app.

[Mark Normand]

Good to be back, Han Solo.

[Sam Morril]

How you been?

[Mark Normand]

Whoa. Good. I just had the fourth of July. I was gone for six days. My flight got canceled.

[Sam Morril]

So you were struggling out there?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, it's a suburb. The hard part of the suburbs is there's kids everywhere, which is great. It's fun. One kid broke my watch, so that's gone.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, shit.

[Mark Normand]

Well, we're just all wrestling all day, you know, I got headlocks. They're so little. I feel like, you know, the Hulk.

[Sam Morril]

It is fun throwing a kid. Oh, great bit about throwing the kid in the pool.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

That's the closest you can come to abusing a child. Throw them into the pool. That's one of my favorite.

[Mark Normand]

Whole face changed. Yeah, that's a great bit. Oh, yeah, Peters is on the slushies.

[Sam Morril]

Slushy maker. Did someone send this or were you just hankering?

[Mark Normand]

I was hankering. These are going for sale on Amazon. My. My brother in law had one of these at the. The fourth of July.

[Sam Morril]

I love a slushy maker.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, we did margaritas, we did daiquiris, Kahlua. What do you call it? Pina colada.

[Sam Morril]

I love a. An ice maker too, but I bought the shittiest one. It takes like four hours to make, like, this much ice. I'll just use a tray. What are we doing?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, right. That sucks. So what do we got in here? A little bodega cat and cherry coke. Who looks like cherry Pepsi. They hate that guy. Yeah, Pepsi over.

[Sam Morril]

Some people claim they can taste the difference. I don't think I'm one of them.

[Mark Normand]

Come on. Mm.

[Sam Morril]

Dude, that's fucking incredible.

[Mark Normand]

That was like the kid version of banging a trans girl on accident. Like, what? It's Pepsi. I had no idea.

[Sam Morril]

That's language now. They used to be Lenny's. Another language.

[Mark Normand]

Right, right.

[Sam Morril]

Like, all right.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. New identity.

[Renan]

I got more Jewish. Oh, by the way, I went to my bagel place. New brand new bagel place on my block. I went in, no bagels.

[Mark Normand]

What?

[Renan]

I was like, you're two days open, you don't have any bagels? You sold out. He was like, we don't have our license yet to sell bagels.

[Mark Normand]

But there's a bagel license, though.

[Renan]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

I wonder who owns this. No bagel, no bagel, no bagel.

[Sam Morril]

Damn. No. So what do you need for a license?

[Renan]

I don't know. They're just. They're selling sandwiches. I was like, not even on A bagel. They're like, no, we don't have that license yet.

[Mark Normand]

That's a lie.

[Sam Morril]

You can't open a bagel place without bagels.

[Renan]

Thank you.

[Sam Morril]

That's crazy.

[Mark Normand]

It's just bread with a hole in it. So can you have a bread? Do you need a bread license or is it.

[Sam Morril]

Do you need a. Yeah, we only have garlic knots today, so you can make the hole. Yeah, what the hell? I'll look at crazy. That's crazy.

[Mark Normand]

Look it up.

[Sam Morril]

I will tell you they don't need any more business. But Apollo bagels, have you had that shit?

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Sam Morril]

It's unreal.

[Mark Normand]

Really.

[Sam Morril]

It's one of those, like, annoying influencer places with a line, but they deliver. It's so good.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

I walked by and there was no line. I was like, I gotta try it. Yeah, it's that good, dude. It's like a thin, crispy bagel.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, thin bagel. I like.

[Sam Morril]

And it's got the, you know, the smoked salmon, the dill, the capers, the onions. It's a fucking. And I love an open face. Yes. I don't like that we just gave in to the sandwich. Always. You're getting less bites, right? I like the open face.

[Mark Normand]

Are you. Do you scoop it if it's a fat bagel?

[Sam Morril]

No.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

It feels like sacrilege. You get looks.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, really?

[Renan]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I think in the New York bagel place, you're like, scoop.

[Mark Normand]

All right. Fucking damn. Geez.

[Sam Morril]

Coming out to you. It's coming out to your dad in the 80s. That's the look.

[Mark Normand]

You get scooped bagel. All right. That's a Larry David episode. I figured him walking into the temple and they're like, he's a scooper.

[Sam Morril]

That is a great episode. The whitefish.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. The sable.

[Sam Morril]

So seriously, you take your sandwiches.

[Mark Normand]

That's what they name it after him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, no one's getting sable.

[Sam Morril]

It's true. It's two fishes. It's two white fishes together. It's a lot.

[Mark Normand]

Is that what it is?

[Sam Morril]

I think that's what it was.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, God.

[Sam Morril]

You want the turkey? I love a turkey sandwich.

[Mark Normand]

Love turkey. Is turkey your go to Go to, Then roast beef, then ham?

[Sam Morril]

I might go ham, then roast beef. But yeah, turkey's just fucking solid.

[Mark Normand]

Retail bakeries require a food service permit and staff must f. Okay, so it's not a bagel license to sell bagels commercially. Oh, wait. While home based bagel operations are governed by new. Okay, I guess so.

[Renan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. Now I picture like a meth Head type guy making bagels in his trailer. Like breaking bagel with mom.

[Sam Morril]

Donnie in office. You better get ready for that. Jews and trailers. That'd be a fucking series. Damn, dude.

[Mark Normand]

I got a lot of Jewish actors. That's a different kind of trailer. But, yeah. So I was on the subway the other day, and I'm in Brooklyn going to Manhattan to do shows. Got a pod going. I see a guy come on one stop in, and he goes, mark Norman. I go, hey, what's shaking? He goes, I'm a young comic. I got to pick your brain. I was like, oh, there's no escape. He had me. It was like a mariachi band where

[Sam Morril]

you stuck there and, I mean, the mariachi band leaves.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. That's the big truth.

[Sam Morril]

The mariachi band. You got a minute?

[Mark Normand]

You know what. What was the. Right. When he said, so how long did it take for you to, like, to make it? And I was like, well, you're fucked if you're worried about that. You're not, you know, you're not doing it right. He's been doing it a couple of years. I got a bit about this. He's like, do break down the bits.

[Sam Morril]

And I'm like, but there were people like that when we started. And now I think with the social media shit, it's gotten out of whack.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

Because they're seeing people explode. Immediate. Like, no, no. It's like the comics we knew growing up who look at, like, road calendars, and it would be like, this fucking hack is headlining there. Yeah. Don't look at the worst guy headlining on the calendar. Look at the best dude.

[Mark Normand]

Good point. Yeah. But he was doing, like the. I don't know what I need to do. I don't know how I got to make it. And I'm like, oh, just keep going. He's like, how do I get an agent? What's the story? And I'm like, the fact that you don't know. This sucks for me. Is weird that, like, being a comedy, you got to be a little self aware. There's zero self awareness. And he was a sweet guy, super nice guy. But I'm like, the fact you don't know this is a faux pas is a bad.

[Sam Morril]

How many stops are we talking?

[Mark Normand]

We're talking from Atlantic Barclays to 14th Street, Union Square.

[Sam Morril]

Whoa, that's a long one.

[Mark Normand]

That's a long one.

[Sam Morril]

That's always when the train goes out, too. I know when you're in a conversation like that. They're like, oh, we have some maintenance on the track ahead. Fucking kill me.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Oh, God. It was. Do other people deal with this? It's like if a. If Bledsoe is on the train and a young high school quarterback group. Ledso. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

All right.

[Mark Normand]

That was a poll Culpepper. Whoever.

[Sam Morril]

If Mark stop watching football in 2004.

[Mark Normand]

Michael Vick, Brady, Jerry Rice. What?

[Renan]

Brady took over for Bledsoe, so it would be young Brady.

[Mark Normand]

All right. Young Brady sees Bledsoe on the train. Is he like, so how do you get a spiral? What's this? What's the deal with the end zone?

[Sam Morril]

I'm gonna go up to a quarterback. You're like, what do I do? And he's like, you don't look like you have it. I'm like, I'm working on it. No, I mean, it's. You know, he clearly respects you, but I think you got. You gotta make the boundary there of like.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Sam Morril]

Well, it was nice to meet you. Best of luck with everything. I gotta watch my set or whatever. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I just can't. I can't do it. Yeah, it's tough, but I come on here and trash it. This is way worse. Yeah, you could.

[Sam Morril]

You could have just said it to him and be like, oh, I'm sorry. Instead, you're like, yeah, 100,000 people here now.

[Mark Normand]

I know he did the. He's like, what are you doing? And I was like, I got a couple spots. He goes, can I tag along? And I was like, golly, man.

[Sam Morril]

It's tough.

[Mark Normand]

It's tough. But I caved, and he's coming on the show.

[Sam Morril]

God damn it.

[Mark Normand]

Mark.

[Renan]

Come on in. Renan.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

No, we. I happened to be with a kid on the street, but he was great. He was actually, like, awesome. He totally, like, gave me an out. And I liked him enough that I was like. I gave him my number.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Sam Morril]

And now I feel like now I have like. And I fucked him. And I think. No, I think. I think now I have, like, stock. I'm, like, rooting for him, you know, I'm like. Because, you know, he's like. He did his Montreal audition. He's like, I didn't get it. And I was telling him, you know, it took. You know, Mark. It took me, Mark, five years. I think it was our fourth or fifth year.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And is it. Yeah, you know, it's okay. You don't want to go before you're ready and stuff. And, you know, I don't know what it is anymore, the fest.

[Mark Normand]

But I don't either.

[Sam Morril]

But yeah. When they give you the out, you're like, that's beautiful.

[Mark Normand]

But you got a vibe from him that he wasn't a weirdo?

[Sam Morril]

No, he was cool.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. That's the difference.

[Sam Morril]

It was the second time I saw him, too. First time I saw him was on the street, and the second time was at his show, and I was like, all right, he's cool.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I mean, we're like hot women now, where people are like, let me get your number. Let me get to. Let me chat with you. And I'm like, I don't want to chat with you. And not to be. Not to say we're. When I met Seinfeld for the first time, he gave me his number. And I go, I'll never use this. And he goes, use it, use it. But that's the key. You got to go, I'm aware that you're huge, and I'm nobody. And putting some. Some distance between us, this guy was no distance. I mean, just.

[Sam Morril]

Just even, like, in a casual conversation, you need a little distance.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. You need to breathe. You need to breathe. It's. It's like going up to a girl and being like, can we fuck? You have to go, hey, can I take you out?

[Sam Morril]

I'll stop doing that.

[Renan]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

I told you that in confidence. I didn't know that would make their ass.

[Renan]

Are you guys entering your mentor phase?

[Sam Morril]

No, this is not before. Anytime you're. It's a young comic, and they see a working comic, I think, you know, But I was very much like, when I did that, I was also very. I was nervous, you know, I would definitely always give him it out and be like, tell me if I'm bothering you, or.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, that. That's huge. That goes a long way. Just that, like, that little wall up.

[Sam Morril]

Because, you know, Mark is also leaving home where there's a baby, and he needs these. Like, train is a moment where you can kind of zone out a little bit and get into, like. Because it's like Louie, when he was on this pod, saying, like, Chris Rock told him, turn off the radio. Even, like. Like, you need kind of those train rides where you just kind of zone out and let your mind wander, I think so. I totally. I get it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah. It was. It was hard. Your whole train ride, you're like, all right, I got 30 minutes to look at my notes, listen to a set. That's all good.

[Sam Morril]

It happened to me once on a plane ride where a guy's like, I'm a huge fan.

[Mark Normand]

Whatever.

[Sam Morril]

I was like, oh, thanks, man. And then. And then, of course, we're seated right next to each other on the long flight. And he was cool, though. He was like, I totally get you gotta work. I was like, thanks, man.

[Mark Normand]

Ah, there you go. There you go. I had a rig pig. I was going up to Edmonton, and the rig pigs are the guys that work on the oil field.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, totally.

[Mark Normand]

And they're like real blue collar guys.

[Sam Morril]

Blue collar. But they make a good living on doing that.

[Mark Normand]

Great living.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

But I sat next to him, and the whole ride he's like, so, what's Tom Segura like? And I'm like, he's a nice guy, funny guy. And then you get that moment of like, all right, I think we're done. And then a minute and a half later, he's like, bert Kreischer, really? That drunk? And you're like, shit, I can't get up.

[Sam Morril]

Tom wrote a whole book about this. Complaint interactions.

[Mark Normand]

I know. So it's. It's very nice, but it's. You gotta have some. Some buffer.

[Sam Morril]

It's like any conversation.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Anytime you talk to anyone. Because even any conversation you have, you ever talk to someone and they just don't let there be a moment of silence that those interactions stress the out.

[Mark Normand]

Me too. Me too. And then you want to get a line in, like, oh, some fans, like, hey, I love your stuff. And you're like, oh, I got a funny thing to say here. Then they step on it and you're like, well, what. What are we doing here? But I think what it is is they listen to 18 million hours of you. This is their turn.

[Sam Morril]

Right?

[Renan]

Right?

[Mark Normand]

That's what they. That's how they see it. Like, I gotta get my shit out.

[Sam Morril]

I remember opening for marin, like, in 2010 or something.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

And it was right when WTF blew up. And I asked him about what.

[Mark Normand]

What club?

[Sam Morril]

Rooster T. Feathers.

[Renan]

Woo.

[Mark Normand]

Sunnyvale, California.

[Sam Morril]

And he was telling me about dating and how it was just hard to date because he's like. He feels like these women know everything about his life.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, true.

[Sam Morril]

And then it's like, you know, you put these podcasts out, and if women want to, they could fucking. They could dig in and be like, oh, yeah. Oh, you ever do this? And you're like, I don't think so. Like, well, I heard you did it on this podcast. You're like, fuck, yeah, I was trapped.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. Oh, that's tough. How was that weekend with him? Because that's. That club has no real green room.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. It's like an Outdoor green room.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And the mic. I remember the mic kept breaking, and he was like, as comedians, we need one thing. And he ain't wrong. Don't make the mic break. But no, he was cool. He was. He'd hit me up and be like, you want to get some Vietnamese sandwiches?

[Mark Normand]

Banh Mi.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Nice.

[Sam Morril]

So, yeah, we get a lot of Vietnamese every day. We get a Vietnamese sandwich for lunch.

[Mark Normand]

That was. I remember the first time doing that club. It's so suburban. Yeah. It's, like, out by Silicon Valley. It's all houses with white picket fences, and it's the opposite of New York. It couldn't be more different.

[Sam Morril]

Totally.

[Mark Normand]

Although the club, I feel like if they were very squeamish, anything dark, they'd be like, whoa.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, dude. I remember working out that alligator baby joke. That was a club. A woman walked out and yelled, you suck. As the door slowly shut. And it's like, you know, that was a pretty. I guess some people would say dark bits, so you gotta work it out somewhere. And it is funny as hell that you work out in just, like, suburban strip malls.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Let me drag my dead baby chunk through Sunnyvale, California.

[Mark Normand]

That's the place to do it. It's a good room and a good club.

[Sam Morril]

It was good.

[Mark Normand]

And there was not really a lot of stakes there. I had an opener there. I wish I could remember his name. He was. You know, you magically get an opener. You're like, this guy's unbelievable. This guy has, like, a great comedy mind, good instincts, great writing. God, what was his name? He's a tall guy with long hair. So funny. But now every time I see a roast or he's on it, he's in the writer's credits. So I was like, good for him. He made it nice. I camera his name. I'm sorry, L.A. guy. Very funny.

[Sam Morril]

Nice plug.

[Mark Normand]

Sorry.

[Sam Morril]

He's great. He's one of the best. I'd love to get him work, but I can't remember anything.

[Mark Normand]

He's. He's doing fine. He's writing in every show. Every.

[Renan]

Every 100 comic. Comics are taking credit for what you just said right now.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. They'll cut a clip of this. Great. It's a wide net I'm spreading here, but I can't. Owen or I'll never think of it. Damn, he was good. I was in awe. He was hard to follow. And he was just a regular old nobody. Not nobody, but, like, random comic.

[Sam Morril]

It's a mixed feeling when you draw one of those openers because A part of you is so happy for comedy that a young buck is coming up and crushing. The other part is like, I got to follow this shit.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It was tough.

[Sam Morril]

At least if it's good, at least you're like, all right, I got to step it. I'm in that phase of new material now where, you know, I always start the new hour too dirty.

[Mark Normand]

Well, dirty works because it works.

[Sam Morril]

So like.

[Renan]

But.

[Sam Morril]

And that's fine for a little bit, but then you got to weed out something like this one. And then I. I was trying to, you know, try to get away with like all new. And you have your 15. And they let me lay it at the Cellar. And it was like probably like 17, 18. I did.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. Big.

[Sam Morril]

And then. And then you're like, all right, let me dig into the other new. And then you're like, this is too dirty. I could feel like the crowd knew it was too dirty. They're like, yeah, no, we got it right. Enough about your dick. You're middle aged at this point.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, the new stuff is tough. And I did. I did a six week or six day vacation. That first set back with new material. You feel like your gun is not loaded. You know, you're out there like, now you're head, your pistol whipping because you got nothing left.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I had a set of the seller and I'm outside and the host goes, you're on, you're on next. I was like, oh, cool. Got it. So he goes in and I guess he didn't see me in the room. He's just like doing six, seven minutes or whatever he did a while. Maybe it was five minutes, I don't know, but it felt long. And I'm talking to Mike Vecchione. We're just like bouncing jokes and stuff. And I'm like, why is he doing so much time? This is weird. And he's like, oh, yeah, it's weird. And then I just hear him go, where the hell is this dumb guy? And I just like get in his sight line and he goes, oh, sorry.

[Mark Normand]

Oh.

[Sam Morril]

I'm like, I'm here.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Sam Morril]

And then he's always, I'm sorry, that was my mistake. And he pushed me on. It's like you tap into some dude, just deep anger. I was like, I've been here the whole time.

[Mark Normand]

Well, you get. You get nervous up there when it's just.

[Sam Morril]

You totally, totally miscommunication. But it's a fun moment when you see a guy like kind of snap.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And then have nowhere to Put it because I was there. But it's funny when you see a dude just kind of have like a semi meltdown.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

When we were doing bad rooms all the time, I had him all the time.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, you just snap snap sets all the time.

[Sam Morril]

Thank God they don't have footage of us doing, like, prom shows from 2011.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, God, those were wild.

[Renan]

From 2011 or 2014.

[Sam Morril]

What's that? Whoa. What's that?

[Renan]

I have no idea. I just found it on the Internet.

[Mark Normand]

I was looking to be one of the comedy's most eligible backs.

[Sam Morril]

What the hell is that from?

[Renan]

I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

In Touch magazine. It looks like one of those rags you see at the airport.

[Renan]

I was looking up on the Internet.

[Mark Normand]

That's wild.

[Sam Morril]

Hello, Samuel.

[Mark Normand]

This is the picture they chose too, for a bachelor.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it looks rough.

[Mark Normand]

Well, I mean, not saying you look bad, but, like, give me a guy in a suit, you know, at a. At a Fallon or something. This is like, hey, ladies. Ha.

[Sam Morril]

2011. What magazine?

[Renan]

I think it's 2014.

[Mark Normand]

Okay. Wow. That's hilarious.

[Sam Morril]

Tell all. I'm sure that moved a lot of fucking magazines. Sam. Morrell's. What?

[Mark Normand]

He's ready to tell all.

[Sam Morril]

Holy shit.

[Mark Normand]

This is inquiry. You know, it's kind of looks like a real shitty kind of. What do you call those? Those leafy square magazines.

[Sam Morril]

I think this is like a red Eye thing. There's probably. I think this is a joke.

[Renan]

Oh, maybe.

[Mark Normand]

Maybe.

[Sam Morril]

Greg. Jono. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

This. Good call. Good detective work there.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, dude, I. I sleuth that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. What'd you do for the fourth? Did you set your AC for 78?

[Sam Morril]

We claimed we did.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Everyone claims they set it to 78, but no, I'm. You know, you. It's not livable.

[Renan]

Dude, can you explain what that your mayor Mom?

[Sam Morril]

Donnie. Just saying, you know, we don't want a power outage in the city. And then there was one, so everyone set it to 78 their AC units and it was like, dude, come on. Yeah, I mean, 78, when it's that hot outside, it feels like 88 in your.

[Mark Normand]

Totally. So. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

No, it does nothing.

[Mark Normand]

But no fireworks.

[Sam Morril]

No, I didn't see.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, man.

[Sam Morril]

I'm good with fireworks.

[Mark Normand]

Well, the videos of the train ride,

[Sam Morril]

it's like I'm seeing them.

[Mark Normand]

Train ride over the bridge. Pull some of those up on Instagram.

[Sam Morril]

No, those are cool. I saw those, but it's like.

[Mark Normand]

It's pretty cool.

[Sam Morril]

Matteo lives in my building. He was mad they wouldn't let. Like, you could only bring One person on the roof. And I was like, do you really need to see the fireworks? It's more of a social thing, I guess. You know what? I saw his play. I saw Chicago on Broadway. Matteo plays Billy Flynn, the lawyer in Chicago. On Broadway. Matteo Lane. Unbelievable. He killed it.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. On Broadway. That's like gay mountaintop. Like, that's. You made it to Mount Olympus.

[Sam Morril]

He's the top. And. No, he killed it, man.

[Mark Normand]

Good for him.

[Sam Morril]

He was so good. He can see he's got pipes. Yeah, he looks great. It's fun as hell. It's a fun show.

[Mark Normand]

Chicago's great. I've seen Chicago. Yeah, it's awesome. Good for him. Congrats, Mateo.

[Sam Morril]

But, yeah, I don't give a fuck about that. Yeah. It was so hot. I went to a Yankees game. I lasted maybe two innings.

[Mark Normand]

Damn.

[Sam Morril]

It was a heat wave. It was like 100 degrees. Then there's a rain delay. A rain delay in a heat wave is such a Fuck you.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. Yeah. Where's your God now?

[Sam Morril]

Well, there's nowhere to go. You're just kind of stuck around. I'm like, how long can I hang in the.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. In the merch store. Also, you're supposed to control the weather. What the hell? We.

[Sam Morril]

We had to call into our people.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. Look at that. He made it. Love the guy. Camera phone filming this. Oh, my Lord.

[Sam Morril]

I got that sweet Chicago bootleg dude.

[Mark Normand]

Hell, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

He killed it. I was proud, man.

[Mark Normand]

That's great. Yeah, I was. I was out in the burbs with the in laws. We had. We had a ninja. We had one of these. So. Drinking heavily. There it is. Look how cool that looks on the train.

[Sam Morril]

It does look cool.

[Mark Normand]

That is really something. What a town. What a country.

[Sam Morril]

All right, I take it back.

[Mark Normand]

You got me back for a train ride. That's pretty amazing.

[Sam Morril]

That's pretty epic.

[Mark Normand]

Imagine being a tourist, like a World cup tourist. Seeing that blow your mind.

[Sam Morril]

You really get to weeks of decent weather in this city, though. You're just like, it was legit. 100 degrees.

[Renan]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And ain't 100 in Phoenix, where you can kind of just chill. It's 100. Where you're like, I'm gonna kill myself.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. But I. Let me just throw this out there. Maybe the best summer in New York in the last 40 years.

[Renan]

I agree.

[Mark Normand]

This is the Knicks. Oh, yeah. World cup, the fireworks.

[Sam Morril]

And Citizen, starring Citizen Vigilante, starring Army Hammer.

[Mark Normand]

Hammer.

[Sam Morril]

What's it called?

[Renan]

Citizen Vigilante.

[Mark Normand]

Number one on Apple, number one on Amazon. Is it really?

[Sam Morril]

No, it's not.

[Mark Normand]

I swear to God. Give it a go. It's blowing up. I mean, any. Everybody's saying it's the worst movie ever made. Like, it's the production.

[Sam Morril]

Including him, I hear. Yeah, he's not exactly like, can you go in a press store? He's like, yes, it's the worst thing

[Renan]

that ever happened to me.

[Sam Morril]

It's worse than the allegations against me. That's how bad it is.

[Mark Normand]

When you watch it, you're gonna want to bite your arm off.

[Sam Morril]

What did he. What's the quote there?

[Renan]

It says,

[Mark Normand]

starring a racist film, citizen Vigilante, by calling it hateful and disgusting.

[Renan]

He says he was in tears after watching the final cut.

[Sam Morril]

Wait, go down. It looks like there was an AI Thing.

[Mark Normand]

Good tears or bad tears?

[Renan]

The claim that Hammer called the film hateful and disaster is not given. He was not given the full script and cried after viewing the final cut. Came from an anonymous source.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, so you know what they should do? You know how, like, Dune, they have the. The popcorn bucket. It looks like the Dune monster. For him, it should be like skin pieces. You know, they sell it at the theater. Lean in.

[Renan]

Like, you weren't given the full script. Who do you think you were shooting here? You're shooting a whole family.

[Mark Normand]

He had a decent argument, though. The whole scene. The opening starts with a big rape scene.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, okay. So they're doing the death wish thing.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sam Morril]

But then he just kills immigrants for no reason. He's just killing the wrong people.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Sam Morril]

This is what happened to me when I was in Joker. They. They said that I was gonna be. You know, they had me film, like, a ton of jokes, and I just assumed the movie was gonna be about me telling jokes. And then Joaquin Phoenix was in it. Pretty fucked up.

[Mark Normand]

They really twisted it.

[Sam Morril]

They twist. I should have read the whole script, man.

[Mark Normand]

Damn.

[Sam Morril]

No, this is ridiculous. This is like. You gotta. I guess he doesn't have an agent, though. I was gonna say, you could have an agent. 92.6% from critics, we call that a reverse Hannah Gatsby.

[Mark Normand]

Watch out. This could be our movie. Same numbers.

[Sam Morril]

No. Well, we got to kill those immigrants.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, right.

[Sam Morril]

We gotta stop leaning into that. In Act 2, for some reason, Mark and Sam, as a liquor salesman, just start killing immigrants.

[Mark Normand]

It's a really weird twist, killing bodega owners. You won't have our whiskey.

[Sam Morril]

That's my cat. As we walk into the sunset.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

90 minutes. So you got to give it that. At least it's quick. Are there clips we can find of this.

[Renan]

Oh, wait, wait.

[Sam Morril]

Read some of the reviews.

[Mark Normand]

Here we go. Let's see.

[Sam Morril]

The apartment scene is a horror show. Borderline snuff. A bloody home invasion mixed with smug. A smug lecture on politics.

[Mark Normand]

See that? That intrigues me. Unreal. He goes places others don't.

[Sam Morril]

Yes. Immigrants, homes, to kill them.

[Renan]

Wow. That's nuts.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa. Characters not developed enough. Best movie I've seen in a long time. It's pretty good if you set your expectations properly. Pretty daring subject matter. Oh, Equalizer.

[Sam Morril]

And John Wick. I didn't love Equalizer. I gotta be honest, everyone. I love Denzel. I just think it's like they made three of them. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. It's like, got moments. For sure. Denzel's awesome, but it's like. I don't know. It's, like, weird when a guy his age isn't like, I'm sick of the old dudes in action movies.

[Mark Normand]

That's what they do now.

[Sam Morril]

Because it's like. It's literally just. You have to do this. You have to just be like, a quick cut.

[Mark Normand]

And he's like, oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Because he can't do, like, crazy shit, right? At least Keanu, when he did the. John Wicks, was, like, young enough to still kind of do some cool shit.

[Renan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

That being said, Denzel's cool as fuck in the movie. He's always good.

[Mark Normand]

But that's the one. Dakota Fanning is a kid and he has a projector.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, she's no Chloe Moretz, right?

[Mark Normand]

That one.

[Sam Morril]

She's like a Russian prostitute.

[Renan]

Man on fire.

[Mark Normand]

Man on fire. I liked a lot.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that was a cooler one. But. But this is, like. It's also just funny. The Russian prostitute, he just like. So then he just murders all the traffickers. Maybe that prostitute needed that job. Oh, it's hard out there, dude.

[Renan]

Taking jobs away from immigrants.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah, Exactly. A reverse vigilante, if you will.

[Mark Normand]

There you go.

[Sam Morril]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

Remember the Bilbo beach guy? He was killing those old. Gilgo Beach.

[Sam Morril]

Bilbo.

[Mark Normand]

Bilbo bagging beach.

[Sam Morril]

The cops are like, we can't find this Bilbo guy.

[Mark Normand]

He's barefoot. How can we not find Bilbo? He's in the Shire.

[Sam Morril]

We're at the wrong beach, I think. We're not picking up Bilbo on Maps app.

[Mark Normand]

Gilbo. Gilgo. Gilgo. That sounds like a weird channel. Where's the FIFA? It's on Gilgo.

[Sam Morril]

I had a joke about the Gilgo Beach Killer. It was about how about how he had a soundproof room in his home. Like a dungeon. Really scary. It was discovered by a cadaver dog. Which I was like, that's the worst dog job ever. Because there's like, you know, drug sniffing dog, there's CNI dog as a cadaver dog.

[Renan]

That's like.

[Sam Morril]

I heard they don't even bark when they find a dead body. They light a cigarette and go, poor kid didn't even have a chance. You offer them a treat and they're like, you think I can eat after the shit I've seen today?

[Mark Normand]

You can't bring that dog to the beach either. You throw him a Frisbee, he's like, hey, I got a head over here in the sand.

[Sam Morril]

They go home and beat their dog wife. I just keep it going. No, but it's. No, but that guy was like. Did you see that guy? He was like fucking massive.

[Renan]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

That was like. Remember True Detective? The guy was like, huge.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it was like that.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, he was. He looked like he was like 6, 7. I could be wrong, but really, he looks like Tucker Carlson if shit really went south.

[Renan]

Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

He does.

[Sam Morril]

Look at that shit.

[Renan]

So this is like an architect and he was featured on like ABC News, like, as somebody who makes great buildings

[Mark Normand]

or whatever, I think. Didn't he leave a note? He did some kind of troll. No.

[Renan]

He took their phones and then called their family.

[Mark Normand]

That was it.

[Sam Morril]

That's what that's like. It's like going back to the scene of the crime.

[Renan]

It's revictimized. He loves victimizing people and it's just more victimizing.

[Sam Morril]

He's trolling them, though.

[Renan]

Yes. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

That serial kills. Love doing that. He would go to midtown where you couldn't ping his phone. There was so much phone activity. Crazy.

[Sam Morril]

And yeah. Do you see the testimony? He was like, yes, I did all those things. It's like, whoa. But he's a. He's a psychopath. I mean, he's a.

[Mark Normand]

He's a.

[Sam Morril]

He killed like, I think eight. That they're sure. And I'm sure many more.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. When the wife was out of town, he had like a torture dungeon. Long island, baby. These are the people going to governors.

[Sam Morril]

No, he's a scary dude.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, Crazy. How often is a wife going out of town?

[Sam Morril]

I don't know. But you know, these people are always good at living double lives. Like, John Wayne Gacy was another one who, like, his wife claimed he, like, he never missed, like a date night.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, really?

[Renan]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

These guys, because they're good at Living a double life. They're able to maintain the other part without suspicion. They're able to keep killing people.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. So, you know, and going on a date night takes as much acting as not looking like a serial killer.

[Sam Morril]

Give him an Emmy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sam Morril]

That takes all the fucking.

[Mark Normand]

These guys. I mean, they're.

[Sam Morril]

You think Daniel Day Lewis can act? This guy was fucking smiling and grinning through one of his wife's stories while he had a fucking hooker in the trunk. Yes, that's acting.

[Mark Normand]

That is acting.

[Sam Morril]

Not saying it's good, but it's good acting.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, well, they should. You find a way to turn these guys to good, because they get shit done. These guys are efficient. Look at Ted Bundy. The guy's a fucking lawyer. He's getting out of prison. He's picking up any chick he wants.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Eat your heart out, Mateo Lane. That is performing, my friend.

[Renan]

Here you go.

[Sam Morril]

He gave him the old razzle dazzle.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Renan]

Mark, you have a new joke about undercover cop acting? Something like that.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I have a joke about how gay sex used to be illegal. And I'm like, how do they. How do they. How do they enforce that? That's gonna be the worst undercover gig of all time. And I just have a plainclothes cop in a hotel room, like, getting fucked in the ass. And he's like, you're under arrest.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, that's good.

[Mark Normand]

I had to wait till it went in until I could book you, but, yeah, just one of those funny scenarios.

[Sam Morril]

Make my day. A forgotten Clint Eastwood film.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Sam Morril]

Make me gay.

[Mark Normand]

Make me gay.

[Sam Morril]

So wasn't it a Pacino movie?

[Renan]

No. Make the palma. Which one?

[Sam Morril]

No Cruisin'. Cruising Undercover. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Did he actually fuck dudes in that movie? I never saw it.

[Mark Normand]

Probably. No.

[Renan]

No.

[Mark Normand]

Might have blown a guy.

[Renan]

Yeah, that famous line hips or lips is from that movie.

[Mark Normand]

Ah, Hips are lips. I don't know that line. I don't know what that means either. That means we're hanging out a different bar.

[Sam Morril]

Blow me.

[Renan]

Air. Fuck me in the ass.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, okay. Don't clip this. All right?

[Sam Morril]

Clip it.

[Renan]

So we do a segment on the show called Working on Any Bits.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's true.

[Renan]

Be a perfect time for that.

[Mark Normand]

Well, I'm writing down a Clint Eastwood movie.

[Sam Morril]

Make me gay.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Dirty hairy asshole.

[Sam Morril]

That might be too old a reference.

[Mark Normand]

That's true.

[Sam Morril]

The crowds are like, what the fuck? The fuck was that?

[Mark Normand]

We need an updated cop movie.

[Sam Morril]

Do you feel lucky?

[Mark Normand]

How about Pooh Detective? Okay. Do you feel lucky? That's too old. Too I think. What's the new cop movie? Maybe Taken. That's not a cop. Departed. That's still 20 years.

[Renan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Heat's coming back. Yeah. Training day two.

[Sam Morril]

Hope it's good.

[Mark Normand]

I know. The cast is amazing.

[Sam Morril]

It's just weird when movies take that much time off. But I feel like it fares better for a drama than a comedy, you know?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It's like they redid Dumb and Dumber. They redid Beverly Hills Cop.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Comedy. It's like you gotta be when you're in the fucking zone.

[Mark Normand]

I know. Happy Gilmore, too. It's all nostalgia jokes. It's all like, oh, remember that? Oh, I forgot about that guy. Guy. It's all callbacks, but, like.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I feel like a drama, maybe. He is a cool movie.

[Mark Normand]

Cool movie. And they got the same director, so that's a good sign.

[Sam Morril]

He's gone. He's got to be in his 80s.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Michael Mann, I think.

[Mark Normand]

What's his face? What's the guy who did Gladiator? Ridley.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He's still making a move. I think he's 95.

[Sam Morril]

Gladiator 2 is pretty rough, though.

[Mark Normand]

It wasn't great.

[Sam Morril]

Did he do that one?

[Mark Normand]

I think he did. Did he? I think so.

[Sam Morril]

That's one of those where you're like, why a sequel? It's no reason other than money.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Sam Morril]

Because you don't need a sequel.

[Mark Normand]

It was the first picture.

[Sam Morril]

The first one's so good.

[Mark Normand]

So good. It was a phenomenon. And he also did Napoleon, I believe.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. But the one he did before, that was really good. The one with Matt Damon and Adam Driver. It was like Rashomon style, where they were like. They were nights.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, the rape case.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. That was great.

[Sam Morril]

Like Rashomon, basically.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. That's underrated.

[Sam Morril]

What was it called again? Ridley Scott, Matt Damon. People are screaming in their phone. But that was a cool movie.

[Mark Normand]

Great movie. I saw it on a flight. I love same.

[Renan]

Yeah, it's telling me the Martian.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, the Last Duel. That's it. That was it.

[Sam Morril]

2021.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

That was a good movie, dude.

[Renan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Gillis recommended that on a flight. He was watching. He was playing a.

[Sam Morril]

That's so funny. I was on a flight with Chris o'. Connor.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, really?

[Sam Morril]

You got to watch the Last Duel? And I told him he had to watch Sexy Beast. And we fucking.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Sam Morril]

And we both were like, good pick.

[Mark Normand]

That's a cool movie. Sexy Beast.

[Sam Morril]

Sexy Beast is. And it's also, like, a good summer movie. Yeah. The vibe is so summery and so cool.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. What's that guy's name? The fat guy?

[Sam Morril]

Ray Winstone.

[Mark Normand]

He's great. He's cool dude. Yes.

[Sam Morril]

And that. And that song Peaches.

[Mark Normand]

You know his favorite movie? That is.

[Renan]

Who?

[Mark Normand]

Todd Barry Derosa and Todd Barry. Is that right? Yeah. Well, I gotta rewatch Sexy Beast. Me too.

[Sam Morril]

It's been a fucking movie.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Shane was doing his world of work. He does those role playing games with, like, World War II.

[Sam Morril]

No way.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, He's a big dweeb with that shit on the laptop. And I was watching, he recommended Last Duel. Yeah, it's funny. This beer drinking, football playing, you know? Funny guy.

[Sam Morril]

He's just fucking a slave is Thomas Jefferson.

[Mark Normand]

He's like, insert penis. I'd play that game.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's made by the people who made Citizen Vigilante. Rated M for mature. Let's see what we got for jokes. I got a few angles I want to try.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, me too.

[Sam Morril]

I'm in the place now where I'm in a lot with the. I just. I'm up every night. So the jokes are either working or not working.

[Mark Normand]

Same.

[Sam Morril]

I'm not really, like. I don't have a lot of, like, great premises, you know, or I think I would have more with them, but. Oh, this was an angle I had about, you see, women, like, I see. I get a lot of these, like, feminist posts, you know, like on my feed or whatever. And I got one that said, dear men, if she says, come for me, that means she wants it to be over. And I was like, yeah, I think every guy ever is okay with that. I've never heard one guy be like, this is really fucked up that she asked me to come. That was really messed up. So that was the first part. And the second part I had was like, you see these accounts? They were like, sex work is real work. Yeah, you see that all the time. And I'm like, yeah, it's usually a woman who does that, you know, because they think it's feminist to write that. If a guy is writing that, you're like, I think that guy just a lot of prostitutes.

[Mark Normand]

Right, right. That's true. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And I was trying to go further with the. The sex work thing. How it's like, is it a real job? Is it because people get defense. I threw it out a few times. And people get defensive with it with like, it's real work. And I'm like, well, it's definitely hard work.

[Mark Normand]

Sure.

[Sam Morril]

I don't know if it's real work.

[Renan]

Yeah. No, you have a W2.

[Mark Normand]

Well, it's like, Real work.

[Sam Morril]

People, people.

[Mark Normand]

That's fair, but under the table.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but if you're an. Only fans probably have a W2, right? Yeah, yeah.

[Renan]

I was talking about prostitution, but.

[Sam Morril]

Oh.

[Mark Normand]

But that's considered sex work as well, I think.

[Renan]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

It's an umbrella.

[Mark Normand]

It's an umbrella.

[Sam Morril]

So then I had a thing like people leave teaching to do only fans. No one leaves onlyfans to become a teacher. That was one thing I was trying to go with. And it's like I got kind of like a reaction, but didn't really know where to go.

[Mark Normand]

That's a good angle, though. That's true. It's kind of the same with comedy.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You know, like, no one is ever like, oh, I'm a comedian, but I'm dying to be the head of Nabisco. You know, with. The head of Nabisco will sometimes try comedy.

[Sam Morril]

Right. So comedy. I've always said comedy and sex work is kind of similar.

[Mark Normand]

I think that's an angle.

[Sam Morril]

We both don't get it. It's like.

[Renan]

We get it.

[Sam Morril]

We both. Both of our parents are like, are you sure?

[Mark Normand]

Right, right.

[Sam Morril]

That's an angle.

[Mark Normand]

Like four nights.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Work nights. You gotta take it up the ass. You gotta.

[Sam Morril]

Although I feel like sex work, you can blow up immediately. Whereas comedy, like, you know, Drea de Matteo, Shannon Elizabeth, they made money on onlyfans immediately. You know, Steve.

[Mark Normand]

Oh. Work out a little.

[Sam Morril]

Well, he'll make money. But like. But it's like at the harder transition.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, yes, exactly. You gotta give your soul away. It's usually a broken people too inside too.

[Sam Morril]

That angle too.

[Mark Normand]

Right, right.

[Sam Morril]

But I do feel there's like a weird kinship with sex work and comedian because it's like a we. They're both kind of.

[Mark Normand]

And you know, also a lot of comedians later will be, like, I said too much. I wish I hadn't opened up that much. Now my kids see it and then porn stars or whoever, like, ah, my kids see me doing porn.

[Sam Morril]

Either way, we're doing what we're doing because of an absent father.

[Mark Normand]

There you go. Exactly.

[Sam Morril]

Bad dad. No, I don't know. Something there. And then I wrote one more thing about this might be dated, but I. I was just looking up sex where like crazy shit. And Bonnie Blue, that woman, she slept with 1057 men and in one day. That was a Guinness record. They just kept fucking her the whole day. Yeah, and I looked it up. The previous record, 919 men. So she could have stopped at 920.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's good.

[Sam Morril]

She really wanted to shatter this record.

[Mark Normand]

Overachiever.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

She's the Joey Chestnut of nuts.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. It's like, just fucking at 9, 20. They're like, we got it. She's like, no, keep it. Let's keep going. Yeah, I'm cha. I'm not chasing the record. I'm chasing greatness. I don't know where to go with that one, but I think that's like a. There's a turn, maybe there.

[Mark Normand]

If I was the thousand 19th guy, I'd go, come for me, please. Like, let's end this thing. Jesus. Well, they don't all come, the guys.

[Sam Morril]

You think she made every one of them come? That would have taken, like, weeks.

[Renan]

I think everyone gets a 20 second shot.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, they get 20 seconds.

[Renan]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

That really shows you what garbage guys are.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I know. They'll line up for that shit. That's the new breadline.

[Sam Morril]

The other thing is, like, if it's impressive when a guy. Like, when you hear, like, Wilt Chamberlain or Gene Simmons, like, for a guy to fuck quadruple digits, you have to be an absolute legend.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. For a woman to do it, you

[Sam Morril]

really just need a free day.

[Mark Normand]

He need a free day. Write that down. That's something. Clip that.

[Sam Morril]

Remember that.

[Renan]

All right.

[Mark Normand]

You need a free day and a bed. Maybe that's.

[Sam Morril]

Maybe that's nothing. All right.

[Mark Normand]

Well, yeah, no, no, that's something.

[Sam Morril]

I'm just trying to figure it out here. I got. That's why me. I feel a lot of my new topics are, like, too blue.

[Mark Normand]

But Bill Burr had that old line, like, why how come a guy fucks a bunch of girls? He's a Casanova. If a girl. Jim Jeffries, Was it Jeffries?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And he's like, because it's hard to get laid for a guy.

[Sam Morril]

That's a version of it. Well, his version. He had a line I remember, like, there. There. There are dwarf sluts. There are no dwarf studs. He goes, maybe in their own realm, but none who have crossed over. That's a great line. But yeah. So then maybe that last part's too much in his territory. So maybe I just dumped the last.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, no, I think that's the free day is a good line.

[Renan]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

What do you got? What are you working on?

[Mark Normand]

Is this anything? I think the point is. Is something. But it's not funny yet. The most progressive people are like, america sucks. America's racist. It's corrupt, whatever. But they want immigrants to come in. They're like, come here. Come to America. But the people who love America, the Most. You know, it's like, land of the free. Free speech, pride, liberty. They're like, don't come here. So it's weird to be the one who loves the place is like, I don't want to show it off. I don't want you coming over. But the people who hate the place are like, come on by.

[Sam Morril]

You know, the angle is.

[Mark Normand]

Please.

[Sam Morril]

It's like when you're at a party that sucks versus a party that's awesome. When you're at a shitty party, you're like, you got to come over, dude.

[Mark Normand]

Please, I need.

[Sam Morril]

I need company.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

When you're at a. When you're at a good party, you're not looking at your phone, right? You're not trying.

[Mark Normand]

You're not.

[Sam Morril]

You're not recruiting for the good party.

[Mark Normand]

That's good.

[Sam Morril]

You want people to come to the shit party.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

So you have someone to talk to.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. Misery loves company.

[Sam Morril]

But, yeah, maybe that's not enough. But that's like a angle.

[Mark Normand]

That is an angle.

[Sam Morril]

But it's interesting to be patriotic. And then also. But then the other angle is you're patriotic because you're like, I don't want anyone else in here because it's so good.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah, right? It's almost like I thought of a comparison. Could be if you hate your wife, you're like, please her. Please come by. Come over. But if you love your wife, you're like, get away from her. I don't know if that's true, though. I think some guys come over and bang my wife. I don't care. Bang my wife, please.

[Sam Morril]

Maybe instead of bang my wife, like, come over, like, let's. Let's do a thing.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Like a dinner. Instead of fuck her.

[Mark Normand]

Double date. Because I'm. Double date.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And then the guy who's like, no, I love my wife. I want to be alone with her.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. That's interesting.

[Mark Normand]

That's not the. Hilarious.

[Sam Morril]

You love the country and you want less people in.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it needs that. Perfect analogy. Perfect comparison.

[Sam Morril]

The problem is, it does kind of track that you wouldn't want, right? Because it's like, when you want to show it off.

[Mark Normand]

Hey, come on.

[Sam Morril]

By visitors. Not for temp. Not for.

[Mark Normand]

Not for permanence. Yeah, right, Right.

[Sam Morril]

That's the only problem with the premise, I think, is, like, you. It's the same reason people get mad when, like, too many people move into their neighborhood.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Same shit, right? They look at New York or New America like, it's that cool restaurant. Like, don't tell anybody we Got a sweet thing going here.

[Sam Morril]

You're gatekeeping.

[Mark Normand]

You're gatekeeping. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. But I love this country. Yeah. Don't you want more?

[Renan]

Oh, this isn't for your thing, but maybe we hate when neighborhoods get gentrified. But those same people love it when immigrants come here, Right?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's true.

[Renan]

It's a gentrification.

[Mark Normand]

Well, it's kind of like how they say, like, when an English guy comes over, it's colonizing. When a Muslim guy comes over, it's diversifying. And you're like, well, isn't that colonizing as well? But it's. Now you're getting in some controversial territory here, some scary waters.

[Sam Morril]

I think there's something interesting about Patriot versus Like, I'm trying to think of the angle of Patriot versus maybe the angle. I hate America. But then you want. But then you want people to come by.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I picture the kids with their parents, like, I hate you, mom. Blah, blah, blah. And. But you wouldn't want more people to come to your family cookout if you hate your parents, you know? But if you love your parents, you.

[Sam Morril]

I think I. My issue with the. Is the premise is I think it's a lot. It's logical that people think that way. I don't agree with it, but it's like, it tracks that they would feel that way.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I guess it just stood out as humorous to me that the people that

[Sam Morril]

hate it, it's got to be something bigger than. It's like. Okay, well, it's kind of weird. Yeah. I'm thinking of Norman's voice here. Like, as in. Yeah, you're searching for an analogy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. If you hate it, why would you want people to come? Because you're saying it's so bad. Oh, this place is corrupt. It's racist. It's, you know, horribly. Run. Get over here. We want more of you. If you think it's so bad, why would you want people to show up?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. If you love it.

[Mark Normand]

If you love it, you think you'd want people to show up.

[Sam Morril]

Maybe the angle is for the wife. Maybe it's like, I'm fucking my. If I love my wife,

[Mark Normand]

I want it for myself.

[Sam Morril]

If you eat something that tastes bad, you want somebody else to taste it too.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's interesting. Oh, that's good. That's good. Yeah. Oh, this is horrible. Try it. And you're like, why would I try it? Like, because I want you to see how horrible it is. But if it's good, you're like, don't touch my Food.

[Sam Morril]

The problem is you're trying to wrap up a big thing with like one line.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly.

[Sam Morril]

The issue is I don't know if there's one line. It's got to be a bigger bit, I think.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

That's clever. I don't know if that wraps it up.

[Mark Normand]

I don't know if it wraps it up either, but that's not a bad little button on it. Good call, Peters.

[Sam Morril]

That's good.

[Mark Normand]

All right, what else you got? Willy's is a premium THC infused social tonic crafted by the legendary Willie Nelson. It's a locale low sugar alcohol alternative that delivers a fast asking you acting euphoric social buzz without the regrets that come with alcohol. Willy's Social Tonic comes in a 5 milligram and a 10 milligram option with a smooth balanced flavor. Enjoy one as a shot, sip it over ice, mix it into your favorite mocktail. Whatever you want to do. Boy, what a great idea. Each bottle is third party lab tested for accurate dosage so you can trust and customize your experience. Willy's unique blend of thc, cbd, CBG and L Theanine. Sounds like a lady I dated. Delivers a feeling of calm, clarity, euphoria and relaxation. Hold on, let me get a little hit before my shows tonight. Oh, that's good. I'll be nice and loose. Might slip up and say a slur. Willie ships directly to your doorstep in more than 40 states. Order now at drink willys.com and use code WMBD for 20% off your first order plus free shipping on orders over 95 bucks. And live like a legend. Zbiotics After a night out. That's us. I don't bounce back the next day like I used to, baby. That's why I use Zbiotics Pre alcohol before having drinks. Zbiotic Pre Alcohol Probiotic drink is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. It was invented by PhD scientists to tackle rough mornings after drinking. Here's how it works. When you drink, alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut. It's a buildup of this byproduct, not dehydration. That's to blame for rough days after drinking. Interesting. Pre alcohol produces an enzyme to break this byproduct down. Just remember to make pre alcohol your first drink of the night. Drink responsibly and you'll feel your best tomorrow. You know me, I'm getting older, so got to take the pre alcohol just so I can get back to work. Don't want to take any chances and this stuff helps. And you know me, I like the sauce. July is packed with BBQs, fireworks, late weekends and late nights with friends. Keep the good times rolling into the next day. Head to zebiotics.com drunk and use code drunk at checkout for 15% off. Thank you. Hey folks. Shopify. Starting a business a big deal. But Shopify makes it simpler by giving you tools you need from day one. Visit shopify.com drunk to get started. Shopify's templates and AI tools can help you design and launch a great looking website quick with no coding required. It's optimized. Checkout helps turn more visitors into customers and returning customers can complete their purchases in a single click. And if you have any questions, Shopify's built in AI assistant sidekick can help you build your store, troubleshoot problems and keep moving towards that first ching. Oh yeah. We love, we love Shopify. We sell cups and booze and merch and shirts and all kinds of good stuff. So we need it, we love it and we can't do anything and they make it easy. So if we can do it, you can do it. All you need is the idea. Shopify handles the rest. Start your free [e-mail] drunk start your free [e-mail] drunk oh, here's an idea.

[Sam Morril]

Thought like how this is an idea. I don't know where to exactly go with this. It's like the idea is comedians are so we're never fully present because we're always trying to chase a joke which is not a good or ideal partner for a woman. It's like you want a man who is gonna be there. There have been times where during sex I think of a good joke and then I'm like, I gotta come so I can write this down. Oh yeah, I don't wanna lose a joke. And I'm like, that's not a good partner for you. You want a man who will like hold you after sex. You don't want a guy who's, you know, bare ass jogging toward a notebook, giggling, trying to remember something that's not like a good after sex moment. So I'm trying to think there's like a bigger bit there about how, like about just never being present.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Well, has this been done? If you were running out of the room to write a song about her, that would be kind of nice. But the fact that it's a joke means you're literally making a mockery of whatever just happened in the bedroom. You're right.

[Sam Morril]

Like, like Paul McCartney is like, you Inspired this song. No woman wants to inspire a joke.

[Mark Normand]

No, Nobody. Yeah, Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I wrote this joke about you. What was it? It was about fucking you from behind. Not exactly. I want to hold your hand.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, there we go. I love the. The visual of her. Her on her arm, you know, hands and knees or whatever. All fours. And you're using her back to write the joke. You got your moleskin out on her back. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

When did that joke hit me? I was making love to a woman.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

In the La Quinta Inn.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Because otherwise it's. Your body is a wonderland. This is. Your pussy stinks.

[Sam Morril]

It's also that funny.

[Mark Normand]

Big difference.

[Renan]

I want to hold your glance.

[Sam Morril]

It's also funny because it's like whenever a musician dies, they're like, oh, we found some recorded stuff. And you're like, oh, that's cool. You never find that shit from comedians. That's like, where they're like, oh. Oh, dude, we just uncovered a diarrhea truck stop chunk from Sam Morrill after he died. Maybe there's something there. I don't know.

[Renan]

That Lenny Bruce book right there on the COVID is a picture of him dead of an overdose. And that's a fucking big swing.

[Mark Normand]

Is that dead or passed out?

[Renan]

That's dead.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he's dead. Holy shit.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that's dark.

[Mark Normand]

The first one's him and his kids, right? Damn, that is dark. Jesus. But yeah, I love. And there's all these great songs like Melissa, Sarah, Smile, Layla. And yours is. If a girl saw her name on your notebook, she's like, oh, no. You know, Whereas, like, you see Layla, you're like, oh, my God, I'm Layla. This is touch.

[Sam Morril]

You got me on my knees. My joke. I had you on your knees. Yeah, no, it's definitely. It's definitely a thing where you're like, you try the joke and if it hits, I'm like, hey, I got to tell you something because I'm not going to run it by you before because it might bomb.

[Mark Normand]

What's the point of the fight?

[Sam Morril]

But I'm like, hey, I got to do this. Sorry. It's a good bit.

[Mark Normand]

And I think a lot of these singer songwriter guys sing the song at their wedding. Imagine doing your act at the wedding. You know, I've tried.

[Sam Morril]

It's not good.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, how about this?

[Sam Morril]

On the back of the Lenny Bruce book. I'm not a comedian and I'm not sick. The world is sick and I'm the doctor. I'm a surgeon with a scalpel for false values. I don't have an act. I just talk. I'm just Lenny Bruce. Don't know if I agree with any of that. Gotta have an act.

[Mark Normand]

Pretty heavy handed.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, It's a bit self righteous.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. What's his face? What's the guy's name? Bill Hicks. Bill Hicks has a whole thing. He's like, the act is what you go to when you're out of stuff to talk about. I'm like, ah, that's not true. That's true. It's all about the act.

[Renan]

Does remind me of the.

[Mark Normand]

The Hedberg joke about running to get a pen.

[Renan]

What is that joke?

[Mark Normand]

If it's funny, I write it down. The pen's too far away. I convinced myself it wasn't fun.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, that's a good one.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Quick, quick, quick, fun one.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. What do you got?

[Mark Normand]

I'm working on this bit about Ozempic. How all my fat friends are on Ozempic and.

[Sam Morril]

Are you guys both on it or not?

[Renan]

I'm on it.

[Sam Morril]

Are you okay?

[Mark Normand]

One guy.

[Sam Morril]

You did it the fucking old fashioned way.

[Mark Normand]

Did it the real way. Whoa.

[Sam Morril]

How does it feel to do it the real way when everyone around you is cheating? You're like fucking Jeter in baseball in

[Renan]

like 2000 and I'm Derek Jeter.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I feel like it's IVF versus jizz, but so Oz epic. Everybody's on it. I'm like, fat people are going to be going away. They're going to be like endangered. You're going to see a fat guy in 20 years. Going to be like seeing a Native American, like, hang in there, brother. You know, stay strong. Yeah, you're living off the reservation. He's like, yeah, dinner reservations. I'm trying to hang on.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, that's fun.

[Mark Normand]

And all that hits. And I'm like, it's weird that we. What do you think a third world country thinks of Ozempic? Like, they're dying for food. They're starving. They're skinny, skin and bones. And we're paying money to get there. Like, they don't have any food and we're paying money to not be hungry. Something funny about that.

[Sam Morril]

They don't know where dinner's coming from. And we're just like, literally like, I got too many dinner options.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Depaulo has a joke like that.

[Sam Morril]

What's his.

[Mark Normand]

He's like, he saw a poster. He's like, some kid's like, I don't know where my next meal is coming from. He's like, neither do I. Popeyes, Papa John's, the dominoes well, it's like.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but it's like drugging yourself to not. To not eat is insane.

[Mark Normand]

It's like, insane privilege. Exactly. Exactly. And I have an act out where the skinny guy's like, why don't you just not eat? And you're like, what, are you kidding? We have. Look, we have over here, you know, we got the Snickers ice cream bar. We got the McRib. We got all this shit. So it's a lot harder for us to not eat.

[Sam Morril]

It's addiction. It's like. But then you try to tell them it's addiction. It's like these people are going through withdrawal. Right? These fucking countries. Yeah. I mean, explaining it, maybe. I mean, it's just. I feel like those angles have been done. The explaining, the privilege to them. Like, what's this? Like?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, those have been done. But, like, the angle of, yeah, I take a shot to kill my appetite,

[Mark Normand]

that to me, is. There's something there. Take. I. I'm paying $400 a month and shooting myself in the side with a needle to get where you're at.

[Sam Morril]

I'm using my health insurance to do something unhealthy. I'm using my health insurance to be unhealthy, like you.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. That's how far we've come. I tried an angle of like, I can't get my wife pregnant. I'm like, I'm aborting people. That's how much. How much I can have a kid, but that's too dark. I think people are like. They hear abortion, they pulled back. But I like the analogy. Then I have this whole thing about. I watched him do the needle, and then we walked around Brooklyn and we saw a heroin addict. And I'm like, hey, it's like you. That gets a laugh. And he goes, dude, that's not like me. And I'm like, I know he's skinny, and that kills. And I say, if I was fat guy, I would just do heroin. It's cheaper. You get high. And I've never seen a fat heroin addict. And it's cool. No one's ever like, no rock stars. Like, I wrote this song on Ozempic.

[Sam Morril]

That's a great line that hits, but that's good. Yeah, yeah. Miles Davis wasn't. That's fun.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, But I. Something with the Third World country thing.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Axel wasn't like, slash, if you keep doing Ozempic, you're out of Guns N Roses, man.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. They're like, please do Ozempic. I had a Whole thing about a homeless guy is, like, he sees a fat guy and he's like, oh, man, I need money for drugs. And the fat guy's like, so do I. You know? But that never hit either. I tried so many different iterations.

[Sam Morril]

It's also like, there's so many negative side effects for Ozempic. Like, you lose your ass if you're a woman.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, true.

[Sam Morril]

You lose your ass, you lose.

[Mark Normand]

You lose bone density. A woman.

[Sam Morril]

I feel like your face gets really.

[Mark Normand]

Face gets all jowl or emaciated looking. They have oz epic face. It's pretty real. So, yeah, could be something.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Wait, say the last part again.

[Mark Normand]

The heroin part.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

If I was fat, I would just do heroin. You get high, it's cheaper and you're cool. Heroin addicts are cool.

[Sam Morril]

And you don't need health insurance to get it.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, true. Holy shit. That's crazy.

[Sam Morril]

Holy shit.

[Renan]

That's Kelly Osborne.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

Well, I love the quote is, stop kicking me while I'm down. And Salaki's like, let's pull this picture up. Let me check her wikifeet real quick.

[Renan]

By the way, I'm catching a lot of hell for bringing up Caitlin's wikifeet.

[Mark Normand]

Ah, you see? Are you?

[Renan]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Why would you do that?

[Renan]

Wait, why would I do it? Why would I catch hell or why did I do that? I've done that with a million guests we've had here.

[Mark Normand]

I've done it for you.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's different doing it to a guy. You can't have that mustache and me pulling up women's feet.

[Renan]

I treat everyone the same.

[Mark Normand]

All right, you got another one?

[Sam Morril]

I feel like these are, like, not baked enough. Let's see what I got.

[Mark Normand]

Equal opportunity. Pull up a man's feet. You pull up a woman's feet. God damn it. No one likes men's feet. That's the problem. That's the problem. Yeah, we don't have good feet. That's not our thing.

[Sam Morril]

No woman's ever been into a man's feet.

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Sam Morril]

It's a weird fetish.

[Renan]

It is.

[Sam Morril]

We don't take care of our feet, and men who take care of their feet, it's. That's weird.

[Mark Normand]

That's weird. You ever see the guy in the pedicure window? You're like, look at this dude. What's he doing?

[Renan]

By the way, to her credit, I spoke to her downstairs and apologized after that show. I was like, hey, that was weird. I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to be weird.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But you apologized and then offered to photograph her feet. It was a weird move. I thought

[Renan]

she did say, no, keep it. Funny is funny.

[Mark Normand]

All right.

[Sam Morril]

And then you walked away and she was like, creep. No. I don't know. What do I have? I have a few. I have a couple I can't crack. So I had this one thing about, like a divorce friend who, you know, he always brings up. She said we were gonna be together till death, you know, And I was like, right. But she did say that at the wedding. That's a high point, you know, like, you can't just go off the high points. I remember I was in a relationship once, and during sex, the woman said, my pussy belongs to you. After the relationship fizzled, I let it go. Sure do. I wish. I do. I wish I got in writing, of course. But you have to know when to lawyer up. But I think that's a fun part. And then I want to keep going. So he met.

[Mark Normand]

That's funny.

[Sam Morril]

He met this woman on a fetish app. And it's like, yeah, dude, you thought that was going to be till death, right? Like, you can't. Like, I'm not saying I'm not judging you for using these apps, but like, you think, like, we both like bondage as a healthy foundation for a long lasting marriage.

[Mark Normand]

Good point.

[Sam Morril]

A good point. It's not funny. So I think that was the angle. It's like, problem is, like, with these apps, it's like, know what's a hookup app? And know what's a.

[Mark Normand]

You know, a long lasting relationship?

[Sam Morril]

But that's maybe just a good point and not a good joke.

[Mark Normand]

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I like that my pussy belongs to you. Because what if you get a gynecology bill in a. In a year and you're like, what the hell is this? Like, it belongs to you. You got to pay for it.

[Sam Morril]

Should not have signed on the dotted line.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but yeah, the bondage thing, I wonder if there's a. I'm going broke.

[Sam Morril]

What happened? My ex wife had ovarian cancer.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Why are you paying for that? I own her.

[Renan]

I got the in the divorce.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it's not bad.

[Sam Morril]

It's not bad.

[Mark Normand]

I would take that.

[Renan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Promise it's attached to her.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You know?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Visitation.

[Mark Normand]

Visitation rights. They're a conjugal visit. Yeah. There's no glory hole for. I guess the is a glory hole. At the end of the day, whoever

[Sam Morril]

came up with a glory hole. Optimistic, fella.

[Mark Normand]

Very optimistic.

[Sam Morril]

Because that's like you got to have some trust for that one.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, you don't know what's on the other end of that.

[Sam Morril]

You don't?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[Sam Morril]

The first person to do the glory hole was brave.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Jamming your dick in some drywall and just hoping for the best.

[Mark Normand]

I won't even answer a number. I don't know. I put my dick through a wall. Depends on where the wall is, too. Yeah. If the wall is at Chuck E. Cheese, maybe don't put your dick through. But if it's at the locker room, the great wall. That's a little thick. That's a hole.

[Sam Morril]

You got a big dick if you can make it through that one.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. Hung Chinese dick. What'd you say?

[Renan]

Chinese dicks.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, okay. Hung dynasty. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Well, you got another.

[Mark Normand]

Is this stupid? Just tell me. This is stupid. I'll throw it out the window and stuff. Slip my own wrist and get on Wikifeet. So I did a big romantic dinner with the wife, Took her to a carriage ride through the park. Candlelit dinner. Laid on a blanket on the park, looked at the stars. And then I realized, why is this romantic? This is just shit people did 200 years ago. You know, I'm like, what's romantic about being Amish for three hours? You know, we're just doing shit that's poor people do in the 1800s. And I'm like, it's only romantic if you do it a little bit. If that was our lifestyle, we'd be poor. It's like camping. Camping's fun for three days, but if you live like that, you're a homeless person, you know, so none of that hits, but it's a point.

[Sam Morril]

But I think it's also like, privilege is having no privilege for, like, three days.

[Mark Normand]

Isn't that weird, though? That having no privilege is like, whoa, that's how good we got it.

[Sam Morril]

Well, like, there's people who can't afford phones, but then, like, were like, keep me away from my phone. It kind of goes with your ozempic thing.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Sam Morril]

Like, we, like, I have to put my phone in the other. When you see someone with, like, a flip phone, you're like, that's privilege. You know what I mean? Right, right. It's like, less technology is privilege.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, true.

[Sam Morril]

So it's maybe. Maybe the angle is like, rich people

[Mark Normand]

live in the woods for a week. Just like, get away, you know, as a retreat, they call it where other people live in the woods because they're a fugitive or, you know.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Someone lives in, like, A penthouse. You're like, where are you going for the weekend? My cabin.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly, exactly.

[Sam Morril]

It's got to be a string of things like that.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. I haven't eaten in two days. What are you. You broke? You can't afford food? I'm fasting.

[Sam Morril]

Fasting is good. That's another good one.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Trying to think of other things.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. What's the thing where you don't have to. We do it to show how good we got it, but they're actually things people didn't do or did because they were poor.

[Renan]

You're treading on rich men, poor man territory.

[Sam Morril]

No, I think it's different enough.

[Mark Normand]

His are like. You work in a trailer.

[Renan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Outdoor shower. Yeah. It's a little different.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

This is more privilege, I think. But then I say, do you think what we're doing now will be considered romantic in 200 years? You got a lady on the moon talking to her robot best friend like, hey, I had a hot date last night. What'd you do? Well, we drank White Claws and vaped. We played pickleball, did a TikTok dance, and I just name shit. Annoying shit. We do now.

[Sam Morril]

It's something. Yeah. Ryan Hamilton has a somewhat similar bit about a carriage ride where he goes, you'd think in a hundred years we'll be like, all right, let's get in this Ford Focus.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's the same bit. Same. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

So that part you'd have to copy. The other part, I think could still be something if you go another way with it.

[Mark Normand]

All right, Good to know. All right. Glad you told me that.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I think. I think it's got to be like a lot of examples. It's got to be like a Norman like. Yeah. Like the fasting with something. The other thing, being off the grid,

[Mark Normand]

trying to think flip phone is close.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Flip phone to something.

[Mark Normand]

Maybe Having a horse. Like, having a horse is kind of a record player. Yeah. Yeah. An old camper.

[Sam Morril]

A horse or something. Yeah. You ride horse.

[Mark Normand]

If you live on a ranch, you can afford to have a horse. Back in the day, a horse was just like how you got around.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

All right, all right. This helps.

[Sam Morril]

There's something there. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Hamilton Ford Focus Hamilton. That's good. Look at that pick.

[Sam Morril]

That's a great one, dude.

[Renan]

Thank you.

[Mark Normand]

My kid would Slushie is going to

[Sam Morril]

be a hit, buddy. This is the drink of the summer right here. A cherry. A cherry Pepsi and a Bodega Cat Ninja.

[Mark Normand]

I bought a Ninja ten years ago is for making smoothies. Now they're like, fuck it. We're going all in on frozen drinks.

[Sam Morril]

They got the ice cream maker now.

[Mark Normand]

They do, yeah. Oh, what a country.

[Sam Morril]

Let's not get carried away here. We're doing an ad for Ninja right now.

[Renan]

What is that big box? Speaking of, what is that giant box?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, baby.

[Sam Morril]

Well, chefs in Buffalo sent us this nice package because I guess we talk about them all the time. How good chefs is.

[Mark Normand]

Love chefs.

[Sam Morril]

This is. I love that it says total protein, 39 grams. Is anyone eating a chicken parm for their. After their pump?

[Renan]

I don't.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, it's delicious. Look at that block of cheese.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Sam Morril]

I will say Chef's is fucking amazing.

[Mark Normand]

Love chef.

[Sam Morril]

Taking some of this home, baby.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, look at that marinara.

[Sam Morril]

Look at that pasta sauce. So if you live in Buffalo, you already know, but my two favorite spots in Buffalo are chefs and mothers. Two fucking amazing restaurants. Buffalo, underrated city.

[Mark Normand]

Great town. Great people, great club with all this stuff. Buffalo is the anti Syracuse.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Both upstate. But Buffalo is so much more pleasant.

[Sam Morril]

It is more pleasant.

[Mark Normand]

Way more pleasant. Way more sports team helps. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

The neighbors, the Bills, they got college ball in Syracuse, but it's not the same.

[Mark Normand]

Not the same. The Orange.

[Sam Morril]

I just love cities that, like, have struggling sports teams. It just. You can't help but have character.

[Renan]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You still believe.

[Mark Normand]

I love that. Although we have the Pelicans, and no one is, like, rallying behind them.

[Sam Morril]

It's a Saints town.

[Mark Normand]

It's a Saints town all the way.

[Sam Morril]

And you know what's annoying about the Pelicans is, like, every one of their players is, like, untradeable. They're like, we need four firsts for this player. We're not trading them. And it's like, you had 20 wins last year.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Not every player can be untouchable on a fucking lottery team.

[Mark Normand]

Right. And it's been said before, but you can't buy a team. You gotta fuck with the team name. If you're gonna put the Jazz in Utah, it just doesn't work. You can't have Utah Jazz.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

It's such a contradiction.

[Sam Morril]

New Orleans Pelicans, too. It's like, not a scary animal. Well, Minnesota's the Wolves.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

Orlando's kind of weak to the Magic, but, yeah, the New Orleans.

[Mark Normand]

We were the Jed. They were the Hornets for a minute, which also is kind of a Southern

[Sam Morril]

thing, but they took that from Charlotte. I didn't like any of that either, but. But New Orleans. Yeah. It's just not.

[Mark Normand]

But imagine the Denver Heat. It doesn't work, you know? It's a cold town.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You know, Makes no sense. Doesn't make sense. What's Phoenix?

[Sam Morril]

The Suns?

[Mark Normand]

Perfect. Perfect.

[Renan]

You know the Lakers, Mark. The LA Lakers.

[Mark Normand]

That was Minnesota.

[Renan]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

The Lakes. Yeah. What about the Clippers?

[Renan]

I know this one too, but go ahead.

[Mark Normand]

I don't know.

[Renan]

Oh, it's a clipper ship.

[Sam Morril]

That's why they call Joe DiMaggio the Yankee Clipper.

[Renan]

Clipper. He's from San Francisco.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but the way he moved through the outfield. The Yankee Clipper.

[Mark Normand]

Now there's gotta be a barber shop in LA called the Clippers. Oh, has to be. There's gotta be.

[Renan]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

Come on. But what does a Clipper have to do with la?

[Renan]

I think they're boats and it's a water city.

[Sam Morril]

Well, there's definitely lakes, LA Lakers. I'm kidding.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I don't know. All right, thank you, chefs. That's a nice box. Sam's own Sam owns this box. Oh, there is.

[Renan]

I'm looking for it.

[Mark Normand]

Okay. Oh, that's a statue.

[Renan]

Clippers.

[Sam Morril]

I got a peeve, by the way. Can I hit you with a peeve?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

The person who's inconsiderate with the snooze.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, snooze button on the alarm. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, my God. When you're in a bed with another person and they kept. They kept hitting the snooze.

[Mark Normand]

Geez. Veterans in trouble. You guys both nightcaps.

[Sam Morril]

I'm like, you know, it's. It makes me crazy, dude.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's bad.

[Sam Morril]

I have. We have one perk as a. As a comic. You don't get health insurance.

[Mark Normand]

Nope.

[Sam Morril]

You don't get any real life perks. We sleep is our one benefit from this job.

[Mark Normand]

Here. Here.

[Sam Morril]

We get to sleep in.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

You're taking it away.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Sam Morril]

And then she's, like, fidgeting. She's like. She's like, I left something in the bed. I'm like, what? Your common decency.

[Mark Normand]

Also, don't wake me up. My wife does this one. She goes, are you up? I'm like, what, are you crazy?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, now I am.

[Mark Normand]

Wake me up, you coos. I'm trying to snooze.

[Sam Morril]

Are you up? Is you say it. You don't touch while you do it. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

She's like, you up? I'm like, now I am. By the way, I went from you up to you up.

[Sam Morril]

Watch the kid.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. That's what it means. Like, I need your help. Like, I'm doing the kid alone here.

[Renan]

You up makes the kid you up makes the kid. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You up. Used to lead to sex. Now it leads to chores.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. For from the kid.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. That could be something. Write that down.

[Sam Morril]

Write it down.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. You up is brew. My wife does that all the time. And I just. Sometimes I just lay. I just like go fake it. I fake it all the time. That's my faking it.

[Renan]

I do like the snooze though.

[Mark Normand]

Snooze is a real problem if you're alone. Alone.

[Sam Morril]

I love this alone. It's great.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but what is the point?

[Renan]

You can control your dreams a little bit.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, get out of here with that. What are you, Vanilla Sky?

[Sam Morril]

I was going to say the same thing. Control your dreams.

[Mark Normand]

Dreams a little bit. Get the hell out of duh.

[Sam Morril]

Sad is banging Heidi Klum. He's like, all right, 10 more minutes.

[Mark Normand]

Just sleep till 8 instead of 7:30.

[Renan]

Because you're not controlling any dreams.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but here's where this news comes in. You want to be a go getter, so you set it for 7:30. And then you wake up like, what the fuck? Who am I? I'm not a go getter.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

So you set it for another 30. That's what it is.

[Mark Normand]

I guess.

[Sam Morril]

So we're all idealists when we go to bed. We're all like, we're going to take on the world tomorrow. But you know, you're not.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it's like that Gary Goldman jokes. Like, I set my phone for seven, I'm going to do the crossword puzzle. I'm going to work out. I'm going to make a smoothie. And then he's like, what am I, a farmer? Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I remember opening for Gary Goldman back in the day and he was like, breakfast tomorrow, 9am And I was like a young drunk comic. And I was like, I was like counting my whiskeys that night. I was like, I can't be too hungover. He wants to eat breakfast at 9am but it was. It's a lesson. It's like, oh, this is a job.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, you did it.

[Sam Morril]

I did it.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, wow.

[Sam Morril]

I did it.

[Mark Normand]

But good for him. Good for you.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, but I remember he was watching me drink. He's like, how do you do that? And I was like, I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I've had people do that too. Feels kind of good. You're like, I can handle it. You're a puss. Sam zones this puss.

[Renan]

I think there's something there. Sam.

[Sam Morril]

He's at our funeral. He's like, I always ask him how they did that.

[Renan]

I Think that's there's something there with. You're an idealist when you said it and you're a realist.

[Sam Morril]

I'm sure that's been done.

[Renan]

That's been done.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I think, I don't think that's

[Mark Normand]

like a sign about that. He's like this night guy and this morning guy and he's like, I hate night guy. Night guy's like, I'll be fine. Another movie, another ice cream sundae. And then morning guy's like, what are you doing to me? Yeah, be night guy.

[Sam Morril]

It's different, but it's a better version of whatever that is. It's like, that's just a bet. It's been done better.

[Mark Normand]

I got a peeve. This is comedy specific. Maybe, but you're in the showroom and you got a comic person, a friend, an associate, whatever.

[Sam Morril]

Another open micro is about to get destroyed here.

[Mark Normand]

That kid was a nice kid. I don't want to jump off the fucking bridge, but you got the comic in the showroom. You're both watching. Oh, man, this guy's really funny. Yeah, look at that. Oh, that's a great joke. But he won't stop talking in the showroom. So now I'm an accomplice because the guy, the comics on stage like, hey, can you guys shut up back there? Who is that? What's going on? And I'm like, what do you do? We're comedians. And you're breaking the cardinal rule of you're, you're a heckler now. Basically you're talking during the show, like, hit me in the lobby. Hit.

[Sam Morril]

The loud talker is a tough one

[Mark Normand]

in the showroom and he's a comedian. So I'm like, you should know, this is crazy. And now you're including me. So I'm a part of the crime now.

[Sam Morril]

I've done though, like, we got to keep it. It's usually a drunk guy.

[Mark Normand]

That's usually, that's what it was.

[Sam Morril]

A shit faced guy who's just like talking way too loud. I'm like, hey, we should, we should keep it down a little. And by we, I mean you. Exactly, Mr. Ninth Tequila.

[Mark Normand]

I know I had the guy. I was at a New York comedy club, sold out. I'm in the back by the door and this guy's like, oh man, that's a great joke. I helped him write that. That was my tag. And I'm like, shut the fuck up. We look like assholes. Yeah, you're including me in the crime.

[Sam Morril]

Loud talkers in quiet rooms are Tough.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Even in a movie. You ever watch a movie with someone and they just keep talking? Yes. It's like, even when it's just two of us, I'm like, what are you doing? Like, I'm all for the commentary during the low scenes without dialogue, but you can't talk over important dialogue.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Sam Morril]

That was pertinent to the plot right there.

[Mark Normand]

How about the people get mad when you pause it?

[Sam Morril]

I go. I do. I go further. I go back.

[Mark Normand]

I go back, too.

[Sam Morril]

I wanna. I wanna see what happens.

[Mark Normand]

I need every line that was one

[Sam Morril]

of my old bits is, you know Annie Hall. Yeah.

[Renan]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

She's talking to me the whole. She keeps telling me about her day, and I pause it. She's like, what? She's like, you're ignoring me for Annie Hall. And I go, was your story nominated for seven Academy Awards? It's a harder one to get away with these days. Because now they're like, why Woody Allen?

[Mark Normand]

You could tweak it. You could tweak it to.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, I'm not telling it anymore. Shut here. But, yeah, no, it's. I love when. And also, talking is for bad movies, right? Like, you want to watch a Steven Seagal movie? Let's talk through it. Make jokes the whole time.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

We're watching, like, a really good. Especially during foreign films. I'm like, oh, my God. It's hard enough to pay attention here.

[Mark Normand]

I know. I need the dialog. I went to see the Matrix. This is how long ago this is. And my friend's like, I've seen it. You got to see it. You know that guy, he's like, I'm going with you to see.

[Sam Morril]

They watch. They study your every reaction, staring at you.

[Mark Normand]

I hate that. I hate people watching me react.

[Sam Morril]

Neo, you're the one.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Or the guy was like, let me show you my hot rod I built with my dad. And you're like, oh, okay, great. And he shows it to you. And you're like, hey, how about that? And he's like, that's it. And you're like, wow, I'm on the spot here. Let me enjoy the hot rod. I gotta. Who's this for, me or you?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, dude, the girl I'm seeing now, her ex is gay, so she'll, like, tell me stuff. And my enthusiasm is just not enough.

[Mark Normand]

Never.

[Sam Morril]

When you were with a gay guy before, she's like, I made this dress. I'm like, oh, cool. And she's like, that's it. I'm like, yeah, that's all I have to give on a dress you made. I'm a straight guy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sam Morril]

Break some freaking. Break some free agency, Knicks news, and then I'll fucking lose my mind. If you want to see a big

[Mark Normand]

reaction also, that could be. Could be a test to see if you're gay. Let me show you this dress.

[Sam Morril]

I love it.

[Mark Normand]

You're like my ex. This is over.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I called it fabulous.

[Mark Normand]

It was weird. It's fierce. How about the guy who. He shows you something, he wants your reaction, so you fake a big reaction, Then he yells at you for faking it. I'm like, which one is it? If I go, oh, that's cool. You go, that's it. But if I go, whoa. How about that? He's like, oh, you didn't mean it. I'm like, I can't win here. It's a lot of stuff.

[Sam Morril]

No winning in life.

[Mark Normand]

Can't win.

[Sam Morril]

There's no winning.

[Mark Normand]

Can't be genuine, can't be fake.

[Renan]

No one makes it out alive, I guess.

[Sam Morril]

So I got a good wreck for you. And I text both of you guys about it because I haven't seen it since I was a kid, and I was definitely too young the first time I saw it. Documentary. Hoop dreams from the 90s classic. It's a 10 out of 10 movie. It's like, as good a doc as ever has been made. Yeah, even you don't have to like basketball. Like, I. I know people who love this, who didn't, who never like basketball. It's. It's like three hours.

[Mark Normand]

Is this Chicago?

[Renan]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. They send the kid to the white school. Yeah, a lot of white people.

[Sam Morril]

Isaiah Thomas went there. Yeah, he was a Chicago guy. But, dude, it's. It's so intimate, like, the way they show the families. And the dad is struggling with the drug addiction, and it's just like an incredible movie.

[Mark Normand]

Great movie. This is what a doc is supposed to be. This is, like, top tier. Well, who made it?

[Sam Morril]

I forgot it was three guys.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, really?

[Renan]

It's the first time I've ever seen a doc that, like, takes six years to make.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. Yes.

[Sam Morril]

So you see them from, like, eighth grade to college.

[Renan]

What's that?

[Sam Morril]

Eighth grade to college.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. And did they make it?

[Sam Morril]

They didn't make the NBA, but they, you know, they had college careers. And. Yeah, it was.

[Renan]

It's.

[Sam Morril]

It's a lot. A lot of stuff. A lot of emotions. The families, it's complicated home life. But then they're also very loving parents. But then also one of the guys gets a scholarship revoked Cause he was smaller and didn't really pan out. And then it turns out he's really good.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Sam Morril]

So it's crazy. It's a really, really good movie. Not just about basketball. It's a great, Great doc.

[Mark Normand]

The 90s really embraced basketball. It was such a. Remember, like, above the Rim?

[Sam Morril]

Hell, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Space Jam. And even Every Little Thing was basketball back then. Michael Jordan, I guess, was.

[Sam Morril]

Jordan just was crushing. Blew through the roof.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Renan]

Oh, sorry. The director also made an Allen Iverson, 30 for 30.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I heard. That's a great one. Yeah. I mean, you can't go wrong with Iverson, man.

[Mark Normand]

No, no. AI. The original Hoop Dream. I mean, I gotta. I gotta wreck off your wreck.

[Renan]

Which one was it?

[Mark Normand]

I hit Celic. I'm with the wife. We're bored. We already banged. She can't drink. Whatever. She's going through some stuff. So we need a show. We need a show. So I'm like, ah, I don't know any shows. We finished the Apple show. What is it called? The one on the island.

[Renan]

Widow's Bay.

[Mark Normand]

Widow's Bay. We finished it.

[Sam Morril]

I'm starting that this week.

[Mark Normand]

And then so I hit. It's good. It's good. It's cute. We hit up Salacus, and I go, hey, you got any shows? And he goes, I got one for you. Beef 2, the second season of Beef. And I was like, I didn't really love the first season. I like Ali Wong, whatever. But I didn't love the first season. He goes, this is totally different. It's got a White Lotus vibe. It's better than White Lotus.

[Renan]

Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

I think this is so well written. The acting. The British woman is unbelievable. Oscar Isaacs kills it.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, he's good.

[Mark Normand]

It's so well done. And it's one of those shows that makes you anxious when you're watching it and you hate everybody, but you root for them, but you hate them. But they're bad people. Really well done. Beef two, second season.

[Renan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Check that out. It's right there on Netflix. You don't have to go searching for it.

[Renan]

Yeah, I wasn't a big fan of season one. I watched the whole thing. But this is almost like a whole separate series.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, completely.

[Renan]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Damn. It's just. These people are bad. People are all out for themselves, and they keep getting further and further into the shit, and they have to keep getting out of it. It's. It's one of those. It's really well done.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Mark Normand]

Very good.

[Sam Morril]

All right, I'll give it. I'd do Widow's Bay first, but are

[Mark Normand]

you doing World Cup? Are you watching anything?

[Sam Morril]

I mean, that this can be dated by the time it comes out, but, yeah, I mean, that fucking Viking from Norway. How cool is that guy?

[Mark Normand]

Hollandaise.

[Sam Morril]

Love that guy.

[Mark Normand]

He's great. I want a deep dive with that guy. He's been doing this since he was 16, like, making those goals. And he's 65 and, you know, he

[Sam Morril]

also probably would have been gray at any sport. He's just one of those. He's, like, big and strong and fast. And you see these videos of him. Like, you can push your body to another level. You just realize, like, there's a. And it's like, no, you can push your body to another level.

[Mark Normand]

He is a Viking. Well, that's what you want out of Norway. You want this guy. And they got him. And he's got some real DSLs on him, too, by the way. Oh, yeah, he's a. Have you seen all the news with the. The Brazilian player. His girlfriend looks like this guy. Really? Everybody's AI ing these two fucking. And it went so viral that he hit up the Brazilian guy, who's. He's like a young black guy, and he's like, we got to do something together because this is, like, blowing up.

[Sam Morril]

Fuck your girlfriend.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. So now they're. They're hanging out.

[Sam Morril]

Damn, dude.

[Mark Normand]

But really cool. He's been going to Texas. There's all these videos of him in Texas putting on the. The cowboy hat and cats.

[Sam Morril]

His deli.

[Mark Normand]

He catches deli. That's great.

[Sam Morril]

That's a great. A photo op for them.

[Mark Normand]

Everything's like 5 million views. 6 million views. The guys. People love him.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, he's box office. Also. I'm watching this tennis, man. The tennis has been great. The Wimbledon men and women.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I mean, shit. I even know about this.

[Sam Morril]

So fun, man. Great, great matches.

[Mark Normand]

Love tennis. What a.

[Sam Morril]

What a. Yeah. Djokovic had a fucking amazing match the other day.

[Mark Normand]

He's the man.

[Sam Morril]

He's on. Hanging on, dude. Hanging on. Yeah, he's so. It's so badass. That's a cool thing about these athletes. They get older and it's like, at certain time, Father Time's gonna take over. But the ones that kind of hang on. Yes, he is the goat.

[Mark Normand]

He really is cool, dude. It's all mental.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, soccer's fun, man. I'm enjoying it.

[Mark Normand]

We had lunch at the Cellar yesterday in that Argentina game. Oh, Messi is really, really imaginable.

[Sam Morril]

Guy was looking like Jalen Brunson out there.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Renan]

I'm glad we finally tied it to the Knick somehow.

[Sam Morril]

He's unreal.

[Renan]

You know what I've been enjoying about this World cup thing is all the people from Europe and Africa and South America coming to the United States, loving it and loving it. Being like, I heard this was a hellhole. I heard that. You know, the streets are dangerous, and they're like, people are giving me free rides. I'm getting beers.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. People from Haiti are like, we heard it was unsafe here.

[Renan]

Right?

[Mark Normand]

Free rides they get at a restaurant. There's air conditioning going, and they get ice in a water glass. That blows their mind. They're all addicted to ranch. They're going to BUC EE's and Costco Ranch. They love it.

[Sam Morril]

Love a good Buc ee's, dude.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, The Lou. We got Buc ee's.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. No, it's. It's cool. It's hilarious that Trump tried to. He talked to FIFA.

[Mark Normand]

He did fix it.

[Renan]

He fixed it, though.

[Sam Morril]

He fixed it. But he's bad luck.

[Mark Normand]

We lost.

[Sam Morril]

The one Knicks game they lost in, like, 13 games was the one he went to.

[Renan]

When I say fix it, I mean. Rigged it. He rigged.

[Sam Morril]

He actually rigged it. Yeah, he didn't. He rigged it and we lost. And then he didn't say anything.

[Mark Normand]

Right. I know.

[Sam Morril]

I love that. He's like, I've been looking into it. Apparently, a red card means you have to sit the next game. We're like, you didn't know that?

[Renan]

He said, we'll have better luck next year.

[Mark Normand]

He's also gotten rid of some green cards. Okay. But, yeah, yeah, the whole thing sucks. And we still blew it.

[Sam Morril]

And all our good athletes are playing different sports.

[Mark Normand]

It's not our sport. If we're going to adopt a foreign sport, it should have been Sumo. We got the fatties. We can do it. And we're. We're just not. It's not a soccer.

[Sam Morril]

We got enough people if. If we. If we had, like, a LeBron playing, you know.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. With the WNBA of soccer, sadly, just not for us. I'm sorry. It's low scoring, though.

[Sam Morril]

We are no in. In women's basketball. We own it, dude.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. Well, what are we, New York?

[Sam Morril]

No, no, no. Well, I mean, just the US Team.

[Mark Normand]

Us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got the fever.

[Renan]

Also, women's women won the US Women won the last three World Cups or something.

[Mark Normand]

That's a good point.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Renan]

We do something.

[Sam Morril]

Well, because they. Because there's no money in any women's sports except for, like, Tennis and golf. So they're like, we'll just play soccer because we love it.

[Mark Normand]

You gotta love it.

[Sam Morril]

And turns out that leads to winning.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

All right, I got Brea improv coming up August 21st through 23rd. Then we got Europe. We got Lisbon, Athens, Budapest, Zagreb, Vienna, Warsaw. Added a second night there, we got Helsinki, Sweden, Copenhagen. And then I added a couple club dates. I'm going to add more. Stay tuned for more dates. Just go to Punchup Live, shamarrill Tour. And yeah, I got Nashville for a couple nights for Zanies. And then I got American Comedy co in San Diego the last two weeks of September.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, fun.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, fun rooms. Getting back into the swing of things.

[Mark Normand]

West coast.

[Sam Morril]

Hopefully I have some jokes that aren't about my penis or vagina by then. I will, I will. The material is going to keep getting better, guys. So I'll see. I'll see you soon out there.

[Mark Normand]

Hell yeah. Well, that's going to be a fun Europe run.

[Sam Morril]

I'm pumped, dude.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. Zagreb.

[Sam Morril]

I hear it's unreal.

[Mark Normand]

Really? Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Here it's awesome.

[Mark Normand]

Never been.

[Sam Morril]

I would love to hear the. Like, the beaches are sick too, but it's like a really cool town.

[Mark Normand]

All right, I'm at the clubhouse in East Hampton. That's actually a really fun room. And make it. Make a weekend out of it with the kid. San Francisco, coming to Cubs. Love it. Houston Improv. We'll see you there. It's gonna be hot as shit. Zany's in Nashville, Pittsburgh, Improv, Laugh Shop, Calgary, Casino Regina, Acme and Mini App and laugh. Every time he says Casino Regina, I know it's funny.

[Sam Morril]

A lot of Regina.

[Mark Normand]

Austin Powers. Yeah, dude. Saw that in the theater too. Comedy works in Denver at the Heat and Charlton Music Hall. Charleston Music Hall. Can't wait to get down to Charleston.

[Sam Morril]

I gotta book a gig there.

[Mark Normand]

And comedy on State in Wisconsin and Madison. Helium in Portland. And that'll. That'll be good for a while. Come on out, say hello. Get some bodega cat. We gotta. We should have some merch cooking soon.

[Sam Morril]

A lot of you guys. I guess we're into Mark's shirt. I was into it, that's for sure. I was like, how do we not make these so from a few episodes ago. I think it was the Knicks episode.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it was the Knicks colors.

[Sam Morril]

I love that shirt, man. A little drunk cat.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

So, yeah, we're gonna get those on shirts, on sweatshirts, on hats, we're get some really cool shit made. Bodegatwhiskey.com Follow BodegatWhisky on Instagram. What do you got?

[Mark Normand]

What do you got, Sally?

[Renan]

I just had a doc get released. It's called Jeff R. Curry. You better fucking laugh.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, nice.

[Renan]

It's a tour doc where he's trying to build an hour for his Netflix special while his wife is going through cancer treatment.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, wow. Heavy stuff.

[Sam Morril]

I heard both of them almost died. All right, it was right there, dude. It was right there. No, I heard it's very good. Give it a watch.

[Renan]

It's on his YouTube page. Jeff Arco.

[Mark Normand]

All right, well, we're cooking. Thanks, folks. We'll see you next time with a guest. All right, Sunday's the day for my next offender. A bit of piva wreck. You know, the beer chew's close.

[Sam Morril]

I've had a little too much burping,

[Mark Normand]

and Norman's talking shit about the fucking poke. And I get down in the same

[Sam Morril]

way up on the roof like a cops coming and naked Samuel is feeling

[Mark Normand]

dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans this woman doesn't look like I remember her? And I get down in the same

[Renan]

way

[Mark Normand]

we might be true.