Tan France w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

Summary

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We Might Be Drunk – Tan France w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand (June 15, 2026)

Episode Overview

In a vibrant, freewheeling episode, comedians Mark Normand and Sam Morril are joined by Tan France (Queer Eye) for drinks, jokes, and wide-ranging conversations about comedy, fashion, fame, sex clubs, queer culture, and much more. The trio dive into experiences in the comedy industry, swap personal stories, rate each other's fashion, debate airplane etiquette, and share showbiz peeves and recommendations—with Tan delivering both style wisdom and candid stories about his personal journey and celebrity encounters.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter: Drinking and Sober Guests

• The hosts riff on confusion among potential podcast guests about needing to drink—clarifying the show is We Might Be Drunk, not Definitely Drunk.
• Tan France joins in, joking about PR people and the show’s "optional" drinking premise.

Tan France [00:26]: "You should make that more clear to PR people we said 'might be drunk.'" Sam Morril [00:32]: "We didn't say definitely. It could happen."

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2. Breaking the Ice: Past Awkward Meetings

• Tan shares a hilarious story about first meeting Sam Morril backstage at Fallon, initially thinking Sam didn’t like him and jumping to “maybe he’s homophobic,” but later realizing it was just classic Morril awkwardness.

Tan France [02:26]: "I was a fan of yours... and you couldn't have been more awkward. I went back to my green room and I was like, that guy's obviously homophobic." Sam Morril [02:45]: "No, it's my face that's even worse! I'd rather be homophobic. I can change that. I can't change my face."

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3. Comedy & Fashion: The Intersection

• The hosts and Tan discuss how comedians should dress on stage, balancing style and authenticity.
• Tan reveals he helps Sam pick outfits for specials, emphasizing not overdoing it: comedians shouldn’t look too “hot” or over-styled to avoid distracting from material.

Tan France [05:44]: "You don't want to become a different person, otherwise, it's distracting... You've never looked like that, why would you look like that?" Tan France [06:13]: "It's not distracting. This shouldn't be a fashion show. I just want to focus on what you're talking about."

[Highlights: 04:27–10:18]

• Montage of comedians’ old photos, with Tan's real-time, sometimes savage, style assessments—skewering everything from bad shoes to “bloated” faces.
• Jokes about Wikifeet scores, self-deprecating foot humor, and praise for approachable street style.

Tan France [06:25]: "You guys are safe. You're fine." Sam Morril [15:19]: "Dude, I could catch salmon with these fucking toenails."

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4. Sex Clubs, Body Image, Viral Moments

• Mark shares a wild Berlin sex club story—dressing up with his wife and being propositioned by a stranger.
• Tan confesses to accidentally visiting a sex club and details the importance of body image, though admits he keeps his toned shape private.
• They riff on celebrity Wikifeet ratings and physical looks, with more playful jabs about attractiveness, aging, and fitness among comedians.

Tan France [12:07]: "Actually, I did accidentally once go to a sex club... walked right back out." Tan France [12:42]: "I work out hard, man. Like. Yeah, I just hide it."

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5. Goodwill Shopping & Affordable Style

• Tan explains that great style doesn’t require expensive clothes and recounts buying bargain suits on Queer Eye to make a point.
• He encourages tailoring as an affordable way to elevate clothes and motivates comedians to experiment, regardless of budget.

[Key Segment: 19:34–22:38]

Tan France [20:06]: "Here's my point. You should be able to buy something so inexpensive and make it good. If you can't, you're not a good stylist." Tan France [21:29]: "No one would know... people just assume you have to spend a fortune to look good. Now, that's bullshit."

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6. Pop Culture & Red Carpet Critique with Tan

• The group live-reviews celebrity red carpet and gala outfits, focusing on unconventional choices by athletes and stars.
• Tan praises boldness at events like the Met Gala but insists context is everything—what works at the Met doesn’t translate to the street.
• Tan defends Bezos’s wife against public critique, calling out the double standard just because she’s married to a billionaire.

Tan France [17:03]: "My issue is that she's fair game for everyone just because she's Bezos's wife. Whereas if she was any other woman, we'd say no."

[Fashion Deep Dive: 15:39–19:34]

• Detailed opinions on icons like Russell Westbrook, Kelsey Plum, and Bad Bunny, along with an impromptu primer on the boldest American designers.

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7. The Life of a Working Entertainer: Moving, Fame, and Cities

• Tan discusses living in Utah, its surprisingly liberal and gay-friendly community, and moving to NYC for increased work opportunities.
• Recounts his various U.S. filming locations for Queer Eye—Atlanta, Kansas City, Philadelphia, New Orleans, Austin, Japan (favorite), DC—and details the joys of Japanese culture and style.

Tan France [28:11]: "I've never felt safer being gay anywhere in the world than in Utah." Tan France [37:13]: "Japan is truly my favorite place in the world. It's incredible. We shot the show there and... now I go back every year."

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8. Wild Stories: Vagina Talk & Celebrity Parties

• The conversation turns raucous and honest: Tan reveals being shown the anatomy of a vagina (by a celebrity actress!) and debates how many holes the vagina has with the hosts—who display shaky knowledge.
• Tan affirms he’s seen more vaginas through work than most straight men, and the hosts are in awe at these showbiz “parties.”

Tan France [62:15]: "Straight men are like, me and pussy. I'm like, calm down, little boy. You've not seen anything."

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9. Childhood, Coming Out, and Family

• Tan recounts his experience growing up a South Asian kid in a white community in the UK, channeling his father's tough advice into physical toughness and feistiness.
• He discusses coming out to his family over 10 years, how his macho persona hid his sexuality, and the shock to those close to him.

Tan France [53:13]: "I was an exceptionally violent child... My dad made it very clear, you will not come home beaten... you will make sure you almost kill them." Tan France [54:48]: "I did it over the course of like 10 years, but I started when I was like 17, 18."

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10. Pop Culture Nostalgia

• The trio nostalgically reminisce about 1990s action stars like Jean Claude Van Damme, martial arts movies, their impact on kids, and the golden era of cinema.
• Tan admits Van Damme was his first "gay awakening."

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11. Best Comedy Recommendations & British Humor

• Tan gives his current entertainment "recs," admitting—“I forgot I'm a very gay man”—his recs skew femme or queer:
  • Jade (UK singer, ex-X Factor)
  • I Am Love (Tilda Swinton film)
  • Kunk on Earth (Diane Morgan, UK mockumentary series)
  • British stand-ups: Sarah Milliken
  • U.S. stand-ups: Leanne Morgan, Beth Stelling
  • Last One Laughing (UK), Caitlin and Usama (Funny AF)
• Tan discusses taste in stand-up, preferring storytelling comics over pure one-liner machines like Jimmy Carr.

Tan France [46:19]: "It's not you, it's your personality. No, it's not your personality. It's my fault... I want to be caught off guard. I don't want to know the punchline is coming every fast."

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12. Encounters with Comedy & TV Icons

• Tan tells heartwarming stories about working with and befriending Tina Fey (“she’s even nicer in real life”) and Amy Sedaris.
• The hosts gush about meeting their comedy heroes and the balance between admiration and not wanting to ruin the illusion.
• Funny encounters with fans in awkward places (bathrooms, planes), and the discomfort of fame.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Tan on Fashion Philosophy (20:06): "You should be able to buy something so inexpensive and make it good. If you can't, you're not a good stylist."
• Mark, after seeing old photos (10:41): "You look like you were discovered at the bottom of the pool."
• Sam, on foot ratings (15:03): "My feet are awful. Dude, I could catch salmon with these fucking toenails."
• Tan, on fame in Utah (28:11): "I've never felt safer being gay anywhere in the world than in Utah."
• Tan, on comedy audiences (46:32): "You two both do a thing that I like...you’ll just tell a story...His [Jimmy Carr's] is just a joke and then a joke and then a joke...no storytelling whatsoever. That is not my kind of comedy."
• All, on airplane seat etiquette (77:19–78:16):
  • Tan: "How is your height my problem?"
  • Sam: "This is an airline issue, though. They have turned us against each other..."
• Tan, on Queer Eye positivity (03:35): "You guys like that positivity. The world is so negative. That positivity is needed."

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Important Timestamps

• 00:07–03:43 – Sober guests, Tan and Sam’s awkward first meeting, Queer Eye nostalgia
• 04:27–10:18 – Comedy stage style critiques; honest fashion feedback
• 12:07–13:12 – Sex club stories, body image, Wikifeet banter
• 19:34–22:38 – Style, shopping cheap, importance of tailoring
• 28:11–29:49 – Utah's gay-friendliness, moving to NYC
• 36:13–37:37 – Filming Queer Eye worldwide, love for Japan
• 41:10–45:09 – Tan's entertainment recommendations (music, film, TV)
• 46:32–47:36 – Taste in comedy (storytelling vs. one-liners)
• 53:13–54:48 – Tan's childhood, fighting back, coming out
• 77:19–81:32 – Airplane peeves: recline wars, aisle vs. window
• 70:31–73:36 – Working with/comedy fandom (Tina Fey, Amy Sedaris)
• 83:01–85:55 – Tan’s new show "Honorable Gays" (Reddit “Am I the Asshole?” style)

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Recommendations & Shows Mentioned

Tan's Recs:

• Music: Jade (UK) – for club bangers popular with queer crowds
• Film: I Am Love (dir. Luca Guadagnino, starring Tilda Swinton)
• TV: Kunk on Earth (Netflix/BBC), Last One Laughing (UK)
• Comics to Watch: Leanne Morgan, Beth Stelling, Sarah Milliken, Zach Nowi Towers, Caitlin and Usama (Funny AF)

Books/Shows (from hosts):

• Strangers with Candy (Amy Sedaris)
• At Home with Amy Sedaris (TV show)
• Three Ninjas (90s martial arts family film)
• Fall Out Boy, Good Charlotte (music; 2000s nostalgia)

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Peeves Section (Airplane & Fame Etiquette) [76:52–81:32]

• Tan's #1 peeve is people complaining about reclined seats on airplanes and those who get aggressive about it.
• The crew debates who "owns" the space; Tan sides with the recliner, Sam blames airlines, Mark hates people bracing on his seat to stand.
• Fame brings weird encounters—Tan’s worst: fans following him into the bathroom for selfies.

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The Wrap-Up: Honorable Gays & Final Announcements

• Tan promotes Honorable Gays (YouTube show judging "Am I the Asshole"-style stories).
• Mark and Sam announce upcoming tour dates, cities, and tease their joint movie project.
• The crew closes with infectious energy and gratitude, riffing on everything from anatomy lessons to fan interactions.

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A Must-Listen For:
Fans of comedy, Queer Eye, fashion, and behind-the-scenes conversations. Expect wild stories, inside showbiz, and plenty of practical style advice with Tan France’s wit and candor at the center.

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Transcript

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, we cannot drink. But everybody's like, I'm sober now. I can't do the show.

[Sam Morril]

I remember we really wanted Hank Azaria on the podcast. Cause we, you know, obviously Simpsons guys.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Big time. Big time sober. And not only that, they're like, it's gonna piss off our people if we do it. And we're just like, so, yeah, you don't have to drink on this. That's how we're opening the show with Tan France.

[Tan France]

You should make that more clear to

[Sam Morril]

PR people we said might be drunk.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's good point.

[Sam Morril]

We didn't say definitely.

[Mark Normand]

That's a good point.

[Sam Morril]

It could happen.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, Delhi boy. Like New Delhi.

[Tan France]

No.

[Mark Normand]

Oh. Oh, sorry.

[Sam Morril]

Not everything is a pun mark.

[Mark Normand]

I saw Indian guys, to be fair. That would be fun.

[Tan France]

When I said I was at Delhi Boys, my mom assumed it was New Delhi.

[Sam Morril]

Okay. No, but we know Asif Ali and.

[Tan France]

And I think the other guy's called Saga. And. Yeah, those two together are amazing. And then the woman on the right, you don't. If you don't know who she is, she is one of the greatest comedy actresses. She's on a show called Never have I Ever, and she's fucking fantastic on it.

[Sam Morril]

And it's on Hulu, right? The show. Okay, I'm gonna check it out.

[Tan France]

Such a good show.

[Mark Normand]

Great hair on Indians. It's unbelievable.

[Tan France]

I know. And then you have great hair.

[Sam Morril]

You got good.

[Tan France]

It's a little fucked right now. Yeah, I just had to get it bleached.

[Sam Morril]

I didn't mean to say. Yeah, right after you said that, I'm like, yeah, it's fucked up.

[Tan France]

No, it's fucked up right now. I just got a bleach, which is crazy. It's yellow right now, so please don't notice that it's yellow.

[Mark Normand]

I didn't notice till you said, don't lie. All right. It's got a little Hitler going.

[Tan France]

It sure does.

[Sam Morril]

New Deli. Oh, no, sorry. Deli Boys. Now you got in my head.

[Mark Normand]

New deli should run with New Deli in there.

[Sam Morril]

Well, you say a New Deli Boy season, you're like, ah, yeah. New Deli Boys.

[Mark Normand]

New Deli Boys. She's hot.

[Tan France]

Yeah, she's wonderful.

[Sam Morril]

So, yeah, I mean, we. We met, like, years ago because I. First off, should we talk?

[Tan France]

Are we going?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, we're going.

[Tan France]

Okay. I was just saying to. My bubble says, we've never talked about this. When we first met, I thought, oh, this guy fucking hates me. So we met.

[Sam Morril]

I get that a lot.

[Tan France]

Yeah. See, I brace Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon.

[Sam Morril]

Do you remember Fallon?

[Tan France]

Fallon. We were backstage. I was going on. Your girlfriend at the time was going on. And I. I've dated a lot of

[Sam Morril]

comedians

[Tan France]

and I knew her, so. But I never met her. So I went back to say hello and you were there and I was a fan of yours. I was like, oh, my go. I love your work. And you couldn't have been more awkward.

[Sam Morril]

Really?

[Tan France]

Oh my God. Couldn't be more awkward. And then I went back to my green room and I was like, that guy's obviously homophobic.

[Sam Morril]

Really? Holy shit.

[Tan France]

Because I knew it wasn't my fault because I'm nice as fuck. And I was like, it can't be any damn. The only thing he had to go on is he's gotta be homophobic. And then you messaged and I was like, ah, he's not homophobic.

[Sam Morril]

No, it's my face that's even worse. I'd rather be homophobic. I can change that. I can't change my face.

[Tan France]

I think you were just high as fucking. You just didn't know how.

[Sam Morril]

I just thought, well, you know what it was. You were talking to her and I didn't want to like, take her moment' cause I knew she was a fan of yours. So I think I was kinda pulling back a little. But yeah, the second you left, I was like, I fucking love that guy. Cause we had watched. I wasn't. I'll be honest, I wasn't gonna turn on Queer Eye on my own, but she would put it on and I was like, this is fucking good. And you were my favorite.

[Tan France]

Oh, that's nice.

[Sam Morril]

And I love the hair guy too. Jonathan. I like him too. But no, but you guys were like the two guys. Like, ah, I like when your segments would pop up.

[Tan France]

Thanks, man.

[Sam Morril]

And yeah, man.

[Mark Normand]

No, it's like, that's funny, cuz he walked away and told me that you were anti Semitic.

[Tan France]

He was right. Read. But dude.

[Sam Morril]

No, but that show, I think I. I think I messaged something like, oh, no, you. I think you guys like that positivity. The world is so negative. I was like, that positivity is needed.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, man.

[Tan France]

Yeah. Yeah, you. Afterwards, you were so nice. And then we ended up hanging out.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, no, we hung a few times. Yeah.

[Tan France]

Okay.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. I'm not up on the new cat. These guys are way hotter than the old cat, so. Because I used to watch it when it was new back in the day.

[Tan France]

So there's a new guy. His name is Jeremiah and he is very handsome. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

With the Arms.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Pull up the old cast because they were a couple of.

[Tan France]

You're ridiculous.

[Mark Normand]

A couple of real slobs. No, I'm just kidding. I used to love that show.

[Sam Morril]

It's a good show.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Especially for straight guys. We don't know what the hell is going on. So we're like, oh, there we go. Look at these other.

[Tan France]

Speaking of straight guys not going on. That's how we really start to connect. Sam will every now and then send me pictures of clothes and say, what do you think? And so I give my.

[Sam Morril]

It'd be for specials. And I was like, look, it's one thing I look like shit on, like, in, like, a comedy club.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But if I'm taping this forever, I was like, dude, what do I do?

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

So I would hit him up, and I'd be like, what do you think about this jacket? And he'd be like, oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He.

[Tan France]

I'm pretty honest about it.

[Sam Morril]

Very honest.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, mama.

[Tan France]

Wait, did you just shoot it already?

[Sam Morril]

We shot that one. That was in Tampa.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Every special, I hit him up. So if I. If I don't look like shit, it's because of this guy.

[Mark Normand]

That's a beauty. Except for the face. I know.

[Tan France]

Every time he sends me pictures, I'm like, yeah, the outfit looks great.

[Sam Morril]

He just sends me a plastic surgery link. I'm like, oh, okay. I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

But I do remember that Netflix special, that one.

[Tan France]

And I'm amazing.

[Mark Normand]

I remember being like, well, you leveled up. Something's different about you. It was a damn jacket.

[Sam Morril]

Because he said. Because I said, I kind of like how Elliot Gould looks in the 70s with, like, those kind of. Of cool, like, corduroy suede jackets. And you're like, you gave me a link. And I was like, oh, I just bought the jacket you sent me to

[Tan France]

get so good in it. I was happy with that.

[Mark Normand]

That was different. Cause we're all wearing bomber jackets and jeans throughout the years. I know.

[Tan France]

And I really wanted to talk to you about it. That's actually why I'm here. This is an intervention.

[Mark Normand]

But there is a fine line with comedy where you don't want to be too snazzy.

[Tan France]

That's what I say.

[Mark Normand]

Takes away.

[Tan France]

That's what I say. So that was my issue with him. I was like, you don't want to become a different person. Otherwise, it's distracting. And there are certain people. I'm like, who are you? Like, I don't know that version of you. You've never looked like that. Why would you look like that.

[Sam Morril]

Like, they went too big. You think?

[Tan France]

Yeah, man. And so they.

[Sam Morril]

What is it, like a suit or something?

[Tan France]

Actually, it's not the men. It's often the women. I'm like, you've got, like, a nightclub dress on, but you're just like a regular girl who doesn't dress like that. You're a jeans and T shirt kind of.

[Sam Morril]

Right. That's why I always like how Sarah Silverman looked. I always thought she kind of, like, dressed, like, tomboyish, I love. But it worked for her.

[Tan France]

Yeah, I love it because it's not distracting. You're like, oh, no, I'm not. This shouldn't be a fashion show. I don't need you to get me a look. Look. I just want to focus on what you're talking about. Also, they shouldn't look too. Like, none of you should look too hot. It's distracting.

[Mark Normand]

Agreed.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

You guys are safe. You're fine.

[Mark Normand]

I got a million. Okay, so this is a bad look. This is a straight white guy trying to look. This is a corporate gig, I assume.

[Tan France]

Yeah, it's a lot.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

What. What.

[Sam Morril]

What am I doing wrong here? Right? I was on something called, I think, AOL Build. This was press.

[Tan France]

Everyone did AOL Build at some point.

[Sam Morril]

It was fun. The interview was great, actually. She was awesome.

[Tan France]

But, you know, it's not far off. My main issue is the shoe. I know that that sounds insane. The rest of it, I can make my piece with Tuck in the shirt somehow. Yeah,

[Mark Normand]

yeah. White guys love a baby blue button down. Every white guy has one.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, we're scared to express ourselves.

[Mark Normand]

Now, that's a cool look. Uh. Oh, he hasn't spoken.

[Tan France]

Oh, no, no. I really like that. No, no, I've got no issues whatsoever.

[Sam Morril]

It's an 80s Knicks jacket, by the way. Stop. I get taggedness all the time saying, I didn't know you were a Mets fan. That's a Knicks jacket from the 80s.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that fooled me, too.

[Sam Morril]

EBay.

[Tan France]

EBay fits like, I'd love to join in the conversation. I have no idea what you're talking about.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, here we go.

[Mark Normand]

Now that's a good face.

[Tan France]

Not angry at that as you. You look actually, you look really handsome.

[Sam Morril]

There was a gay guy in front of me, so I looked that way.

[Tan France]

That's how we look at each other.

[Mark Normand]

You're right.

[Tan France]

We stare a lot.

[Sam Morril]

No, that was. I was. That was like, let me go. As simple as possible.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. That's a slick jacket.

[Tan France]

I mean, I wish he had gone for a black or a white, but Other than that.

[Sam Morril]

A black shirt.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Really black on black.

[Tan France]

I just don't love that version of a burgundy.

[Mark Normand]

Got it personal.

[Sam Morril]

That's fair. This was during COVID I was trying to be funny.

[Mark Normand]

I'm eating here.

[Sam Morril]

Kenny Powers.

[Tan France]

J6. Good Lord. Wow, wow, wow. I didn't know you were so patriotic.

[Sam Morril]

It was a joke. But yeah, a lot of people took this seriously.

[Mark Normand]

Man.

[Sam Morril]

I should have done more push ups before this picture. You really shouldn't rock one of those without even as a joke. You're like, yeah, this is not funny. It's kind of sa.

[Mark Normand]

They call this cuck dynasty.

[Tan France]

They are definitely the shoulders of someone who's never even walked past a gym.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, pretty bad. When are we going to Mark? How long is this gonna be on me Long list.

[Mark Normand]

That's Boo's face too, if I've ever seen it. Look at that.

[Sam Morril]

That was winter. Clearly I'm layered up.

[Tan France]

Do you know what? That's my favorite one so far.

[Sam Morril]

Is it because layers are good.

[Tan France]

Layers are really good. And you look really handsome.

[Mark Normand]

What? Look at that guy.

[Tan France]

I think you look really handsome.

[Mark Normand]

All right.

[Sam Morril]

I look goofy.

[Mark Normand]

Look a little bloated.

[Sam Morril]

I am a little bloated.

[Mark Normand]

But mine's coming. Don't worry.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I can't wait for you. Let's give Mark a shot.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, God.

[Tan France]

Oh, here we go. Enjoy.

[Mark Normand]

All right.

[Tan France]

You called him. Blow it.

[Mark Normand]

I was literally ill here. I had a.

[Sam Morril]

You look like you were discovered at

[Mark Normand]

the bottom of the pool.

[Tan France]

What illness does that?

[Mark Normand]

It comes from eating ass.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Who's asked to eat Lizzo?

[Tan France]

Look at me.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I had H. Pylori, but they made me shoot. I couldn't get out of it, so.

[Sam Morril]

Jesus Christ.

[Mark Normand]

I was bloated. It was a water weight or something. All right. This would be on New Year's.

[Sam Morril]

That's not bad.

[Tan France]

I can accept that.

[Sam Morril]

It's fun.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Okay. Take that jackets from us.

[Tan France]

Actually. That's great.

[Sam Morril]

That's before Fallon.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Suits.

[Sam Morril]

I remember the set.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's me being extra homophobic. Right.

[Sam Morril]

Suits of supply is like a safe space for straight guys.

[Mark Normand]

Totally.

[Tan France]

I like a suit supply.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

You look great.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, thanks. Oh, this is me as a 13 year old skateboarder.

[Sam Morril]

Is that Bart Simpson?

[Mark Normand]

I embrace this. I'm getting old, but I could still. Still kick it around.

[Sam Morril]

Tony Hawk shouted him out on a podcast as being a good skateboarder.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Tan France]

You've made it. When?

[Mark Normand]

Yes. Oh, this is me bombing at Radio City.

[Tan France]

Was. Wait, was that is your special?

[Mark Normand]

No, I was opening for The Video Music Awards. You can see the astronaut in the back. Nobody cared.

[Tan France]

I like the tie.

[Mark Normand]

Hey, thanks.

[Tan France]

Oh, this is my favorite look.

[Mark Normand]

Me and the wife, we went to a sex club in Berlin.

[Tan France]

Wait, Was it Berghain?

[Mark Normand]

KitKat?

[Tan France]

Oh, shit.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

So we got dolled up just for the hell of it. Are they.

[Tan France]

Are they cuffs or is that a mini skirt?

[Mark Normand]

Her or me?

[Tan France]

No, you?

[Mark Normand]

No, that's a boxer briefs.

[Tan France]

Oh. It's a box. Okay.

[Mark Normand]

It was embarrassing because we showed up to the club and we got there way too early, and we're the only people in line dressed up and everyone had a bag. So they wear normal clothes, then go in and then change. There's lockers and stuff. So we looked like idiots. And I remember the bouncer was a real douche. He was, like, speaking in German. I was like, I'm American. He goes, how come I learned your language? You don't learn mine?

[Tan France]

Oh.

[Mark Normand]

And I was like, good point.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. No, I got with it. The Germans are very arrogant. Like, we. I got heckled a lot during my set. They were just like, fuck, Trump. I'm like, first off, I didn't vote for him. Second off, Hitler. Okay? You don't get to be smug and have had Hitler. Okay.

[Mark Normand]

That's fat. Good point.

[Sam Morril]

Any quick stories from the sex club, Mark?

[Mark Normand]

Well, I had sex with the wife in the club.

[Tan France]

Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

And a guy tapped me on the shoulder and said, me next. And I said, yes, sure.

[Sam Morril]

I traveled. I traveled with him. It was nice. Yes.

[Mark Normand]

So I. The guy.

[Tan France]

You. You just had sex with your wife in the.

[Mark Normand]

Well, everybody was banging. So I said, when in Rome, let's go after it.

[Tan France]

And then the German guy was even more angry, saying, we're not in Rome, bitch. Secondly. But I think the point of a sex club is to not have sex with your own partner.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. But she was not into the school.

[Tan France]

Why?

[Mark Normand]

Go.

[Tan France]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

You wanna see it?

[Sam Morril]

You had a hotel room, dude.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. It's a story. You gotta do it.

[Sam Morril]

Have you ever been to a sex club?

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Tan France]

Come on, look at me. Actually, I did accidentally once go to a sex club. It was one of those where you can't wear clothes you're meant to just in underwear. And I walked in with a group of friends who hadn't told me, and they know what a square I am. So we walked in and the doorman was like, okay, take your clothes off and put them in the locker. I was like, oh, ha, ha. And he was like, no, you can't have clothes on. In this club, walked right back out. There's nobody.

[Mark Normand]

What?

[Tan France]

Have you met me? Like, of course I'm not gonna go to a sex or.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Tan France]

Absolutely not.

[Mark Normand]

But you look. You're svelte, good shape.

[Sam Morril]

You work out. You definitely work out.

[Tan France]

I'm in great shape. I work out for 43 and my body is fucking tight. That's no one's business. No one needs to see that shit.

[Sam Morril]

Show the world.

[Tan France]

And also, especially now I'm old. No one needs to see this. The lights are off. Don't look at me.

[Mark Normand]

I'm upset. This feels homophobic.

[Sam Morril]

But you met your husband in like, in your 20s, but in like in Salt Lake City, right?

[Tan France]

Yeah. I thought you were about to eat in a sex club. Yeah, I did.

[Mark Normand]

See, you're gonna hold this back from the world.

[Tan France]

Thank you. So w. I can't believe there's a picture of that on the Internet.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, this is his background photo.

[Sam Morril]

Dude, you look like you should be in a Marvel movie.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Tan France]

I work out hard, man. Like. Yeah, I just hide it.

[Mark Normand]

Holy Moses.

[Sam Morril]

Moses. What do you think when this drops in the New York Post?

[Tan France]

I didn't realize it had made the Post. That's fucking insane. Do you know what?

[Sam Morril]

Cause if I do that, they're gonna be like, what the fuck happened to this guy? Send help.

[Tan France]

I really wish that I could. I'm not in that exact shape anym. I would love to be in that shape. Oh, it is the same. Like twins. Twitter. That's really mean.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I look rough, dude.

[Tan France]

What do you mean?

[Sam Morril]

I'm in better shape now than I was then, but that's really bad.

[Tan France]

Do you work out?

[Sam Morril]

I do.

[Tan France]

Do you work out?

[Mark Normand]

A little bit.

[Tan France]

See, I think that I have. To your 40s, obviously, right?

[Sam Morril]

I'm 39. If I didn't do it, I would look like shit.

[Tan France]

Yeah, our age, you gotta.

[Mark Normand]

You gotta.

[Tan France]

You just gotta look terrifying and you don't wanna look like your dad.

[Sam Morril]

My dad looks pretty good right now.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, really?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Okay. And we drink a lot too, so that just kills the body. Oh, here we go.

[Tan France]

My Wikifeet score would just be fucking fantastic. Is it still.

[Sam Morril]

It's 4.15 out of 5, right?

[Tan France]

It used to be 4.9. I had a solid wiki feat. Which is.

[Sam Morril]

Someone pulled it down, dude.

[Tan France]

I know.

[Mark Normand]

Is this the new Uber rating? I didn't know we had. Am I on there? Is he on there?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, you're both on there.

[Tan France]

I'm on there.

[Mark Normand]

I think so.

[Sam Morril]

My feet are rough.

[Tan France]

I'm gonna be pissed.

[Mark Normand]

I got slave feet. I mean, they got really yellow toenail knuckle hair.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Tan France]

Is there no rating?

[Sam Morril]

No rating.

[Tan France]

4.8. How are you? How is your.

[Mark Normand]

Higher than you. Whoa.

[Tan France]

That is. That's homophobic feet. Higher than mine. What is salmon there?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, there we go.

[Sam Morril]

I better not. My feet are awful. Dude, I could catch salmon with these fucking toenails. These are gnarly.

[Mark Normand]

Do you Sam Talon.

[Tan France]

Do either of you manicure, pedicure? No, Obviously.

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Sam Morril]

Nothing.

[Mark Normand]

I can't sit in that chair. I feel guilty.

[Sam Morril]

I'm on there. I took this photo.

[Tan France]

Yours is higher than mine.

[Mark Normand]

That's a good foot. Look at white out of here, that foot. Never seen a day of labor. Look at that.

[Tan France]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

It's in my mouth. You.

[Tan France]

I didn't know you had a foot fetish. That's fine.

[Sam Morril]

Look at that.

[Mark Normand]

Sucking that big toe.

[Sam Morril]

Suck on that, Tarantino.

[Tan France]

Yeah, it's not. We might be drunk. You've got to be drunk.

[Mark Normand]

I guess so. Yeah.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I want to know your take. Can we pull up some other people? I want to know Tan's take. Cause this is his thing. This is what he. People like you. Changed lives. I feel like. Oh, Kelsey Plum. She's pretty attractive.

[Tan France]

I'm not mad at whoever this is. Sorry. I'm terrible.

[Sam Morril]

She's a point guard on the LA Sparks.

[Tan France]

She looks wicked. She looks wicked. Love this look.

[Mark Normand]

This is crazy.

[Tan France]

Yeah, I know. She's got something special like that a lot.

[Sam Morril]

She would break us in half mark easily.

[Tan France]

Okay, you've got to remember it was the Met gala, so fuck off. Everyone. Everyone looks a little crazy at the Met gal. I love both. No joke. I love both for the Met Gala. Anywhere else in the world, that would be wild. But I think they look incredible.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Met gal is cheating. I feel like we gotta pull, like, regular.

[Mark Normand]

Ooh, yeah, man.

[Tan France]

No one's doing it wrong.

[Mark Normand]

Wait a damn minute.

[Sam Morril]

That's Russell Westbrook.

[Tan France]

Okay, funnily enough, that's one of the very few sports people I know. I think he's one of the best dressed men in the world. Not there. Yeah, like, that's obviously. But I know it's me.

[Sam Morril]

He should be waving down a plane in laguardia. What the hell is he doing?

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Tan France]

It's definitely a look, but I think he looks incredible.

[Sam Morril]

More Met gala.

[Tan France]

I was about to say something controversial. I'll leave.

[Sam Morril]

Say it. Say it.

[Mark Normand]

Come on, Tani.

[Tan France]

Actually, my controversial take is not a mean take. I actually feel bad for her. You might disagree completely. Just because she's the girlfriend, wife, whatever of Bezos. I don't love that. This is so the wrong place for this conversation.

[Mark Normand]

No, don't lay it on me.

[Tan France]

My issue is, is that she's fair game for everyone just because she's Bezos's wife. Whereas if she was any other woman in the world, we'd say no. Why are you talking about that?

[Mark Normand]

That's a great point. You're right. You're 100% right.

[Tan France]

And to be fair, if that was on anybody else, you'd be like, yeah, she nailed it.

[Mark Normand]

Great body.

[Tan France]

She looks good.

[Mark Normand]

Looks great.

[Sam Morril]

I thought that was Whitney for a second. I think she looks very good.

[Tan France]

Who's Whitney?

[Sam Morril]

Whitney Cummings.

[Tan France]

Oh, I think she looks good. Look how cute.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, Marcelo. Oh, shit.

[Tan France]

He looks great.

[Mark Normand]

What the hell is he wearing?

[Tan France]

The other thing is a little nuts. Kyle Kuzma went too far.

[Sam Morril]

He looks like a tampon. He looks horrible.

[Mark Normand]

I call that a Pepto Abysmal.

[Tan France]

Pepto Abysmal. I love both. You can hate on it all you want. The one on the left, I don't know his name, but LeBron James, he looks wicked. Look, I know it really looks like a schoolboy thing. It's a brand called Tom Brown. You both know Tom Brown, right?

[Mark Normand]

Please don't know Tom Ford.

[Tan France]

Tom Brown is one of the most iconic American brands, and they do shorts with jackets. I know it's. It doesn't seem great to most people. I think it's so fashiony.

[Sam Morril]

It's bold. You like bold?

[Tan France]

I like fashion. No, no, no. Anywhere else, I'd say no. But on the sports dudes, when they do the walk in and at the Met gal, I'm like, yeah, be bold. Like, have fun with it. Whereas that dude on the right, like, yeah, that's your street look. Wear it on the street.

[Sam Morril]

Bronson.

[Mark Normand]

That's a good look. I would wear that.

[Tan France]

The right. What's his name? Travis. On the right. That is the same brand as the shorts one. Okay, so that's Tom Brown as well. Wicked. Like, looks baggy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, Baggie's in.

[Tan France]

Baggie's really in.

[Mark Normand]

Look at those. Trousers are in.

[Tan France]

Okay, I'm not loving the one on the left.

[Sam Morril]

Westbrook is 0 for 2 with you.

[Tan France]

Yeah, I know, I know. I like the top of it. Like, if you were to wear a pair of jeans with that, like, yeah,

[Sam Morril]

you look wicked dressed like Mary Poppins. What is he doing?

[Mark Normand]

Somebody on Twitter said bad buddy looks like a goth Colonel Sanders.

[Tan France]

However, I fucking loved his look. I thought his look Was awesome. I didn't know it was him. He looked so good.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. What is he doing on the left? Is that a.

[Tan France]

It's a wild one. It's Mary Poppins. I don't know why.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's a. That's a Tom brown sweater, though.

[Tan France]

It's a Tom brown sweater.

[Mark Normand]

I know the.

[Tan France]

I'm learning. Thank you for saying that. You've always known it. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Okay. Wow. I'm learning a lot here.

[Tan France]

Look again, I wouldn't suggest. I need you to know I'm not dressing like this. I had jeans on and I had sneakers on, but when I'm on a press tour. So when you do a press tour, you get dressed up more. I don't dress like this in real life. I dress just as simple as. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, I live in black. Ah, nice. Or a pair of jeans. I'm never this dressed up for anything.

[Mark Normand]

But show the world your shoes. I mean, these have got to get

[Sam Morril]

out there, but you feel like you have to bring it because of who you are.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Of course.

[Tan France]

If I had my job, I would be in a pair of don't wash Levi's jeans every day, a white pair of sneakers, and a black tee. I would never, ever make an effort.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but how do you find. Like, that T shirt is distressed. It's. It's.

[Tan France]

That's my phone.

[Mark Normand]

How do you find the shirt?

[Tan France]

This is vintage. I go to vintage stores a lot. There's a place called the Di, which is our version of the Goodwill in Utah. And so I go to the Goodwill.

[Sam Morril]

So you get stuff, like for bargains. That's your move?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

Here's my point. You should be able to buy something so inexpensive and make it good. If you can't, you're not a good stylist.

[Sam Morril]

That's cool.

[Tan France]

If you're a stylist, you shouldn't be able to make any shitty, cheap thing work.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. Tell us. My wife.

[Tan France]

Do you know what? When I first got onto Queer Eye, I was already retired. I had money. I could have spent a lot. Instead, I wanted to show people that you don't need a lot of money. So I. Do you know what Primark is?

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Tan France]

It's like a super, super cheap store from the UK. You can get a suit for £50, which is like $60.

[Mark Normand]

Pull it up.

[Tan France]

And I wanted to show people. No, I can wear something that's less than $100. Get it tailored, and you will believe that this is a designer suit. And so I did.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Sam Morril]

That is cool.

[Mark Normand]

I joke about my wife, but she does a thing called where you rent clothes.

[Tan France]

Oh, yeah. Rent the Runway.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. And they're cheap. Cheap, whatever. But she'll just rent it and not own it. And she gets a million compliments, and if she gets enough compliments, she'll buy the piece. Yeah. Pretty good move.

[Tan France]

Yeah. Also, if you live in New York, I'm assuming you guys haven't got space for shit like rent, Right?

[Mark Normand]

Exactly. Exactly. Wow. Primark.

[Tan France]

Okay, I'm not saying that that's where you should buy your clothes. Where I need to make it very clear, don't support Primark. It's a terrible fast fashion brand. However, you don't need to spend a

[Sam Morril]

lot of money creative. I hear you. I remember that I got a suit for this movie I was making because I had to get blood on it, and I was like, let me get, like, a $100 suit. It looked pretty good.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

No one would know.

[Sam Morril]

I was shocked. I was like, this is a hundred dollars.

[Tan France]

Yeah, it's right. I think that people just assume, oh, you have to spend a fortune to look good. Now, that's bullshit.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

Yeah. Also, I was broke as a joke. I remember what it feels like to watch celebrities thinking, oh, God, I'm never gonna be able to look as nice as them. Get the fuck out of here.

[Mark Normand]

Mmm.

[Tan France]

Look as good as them.

[Sam Morril]

So you go to. I've been. I think I've been to the Goodwill and In Salt Lake City.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I was just, like, walking around, just, you know, a road comic. You're looking for stuff to do during the day.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And I got a cool shirt for, like, six bucks.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

But the problem is tailoring. Tailor. I find a cool shirt or jacket or whatever, and tailoring is like, you know, $200.

[Tan France]

You're going to the wrong tailor.

[Mark Normand]

I go to Alts, you know, Alts Brown.

[Tan France]

Tia. Oh, okay.

[Mark Normand]

Sorry.

[Tan France]

You. I'm telling you, you going to the wrong tailor. If you're just getting, let's say, a T shirt or a pair of jeans hemmed, you can get it done for, like, $10.

[Sam Morril]

Where do you do that?

[Tan France]

Why do you do that? Go to the dry cleaners. They'll do. They'll. How many pounds?

[Sam Morril]

My place is so expensive.

[Mark Normand]

See, that's.

[Sam Morril]

But I think it's New York City.

[Mark Normand]

Price might be New York.

[Tan France]

Yeah. It must be New York, because anywhere else, I got my whole suit tailored for $70. So all in all, I got my whole. My whole red carpet look for $150.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. That's crazy.

[Tan France]

Yeah. Okay. I need to make it really clear now. When I'm at the red carpet, I don't spend that. I spend a heck of a lot more. Yeah, but back in the day, I just wanted to prove a point.

[Sam Morril]

People must hit you up a lot, being like, I can't be the only one. There must be some. There must be. There must be some big dogs hitting you up. Like, what do I do?

[Tan France]

I get those texts almost every day.

[Sam Morril]

Really? Who's an interesting? Can you share any of them?

[Tan France]

I can't.

[Sam Morril]

I respect that.

[Tan France]

I think it's. It's. It's unkind to expose them.

[Sam Morril]

That's fair.

[Mark Normand]

Damn, does Lane Maxwell.

[Tan France]

That's exactly.

[Sam Morril]

That's why she looks so good in prison.

[Tan France]

She does look amazing.

[Mark Normand]

Does she?

[Tan France]

No. Dick, no.

[Mark Normand]

She's an attractive lady.

[Sam Morril]

It must be crazy to be living like. She must have been living well for a long time and then to just go to prison.

[Mark Normand]

Oh. Oh, come on.

[Sam Morril]

That. That. That 180.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I mean, brutal.

[Tan France]

She got to stay alive. The other one didn't. Yeah, actually, I don't believe that. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

You think he offed himself?

[Tan France]

No, I think he's. I think he's out.

[Sam Morril]

Really? You think he's just chilling somewhere in the world?

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I think they killed him. Him. He knows too much. That's my theory.

[Sam Morril]

Well, why not kill her then, too?

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Why let one and survive?

[Mark Normand]

It's a good point.

[Tan France]

No, I think they got him out.

[Mark Normand]

Okay. Interesting.

[Sam Morril]

He's just chilling somewhere in an island having a daiquiri.

[Tan France]

Not that island, but yeah.

[Sam Morril]

A different island. A new Epstein's island. They revamped it.

[Tan France]

They've gone through a rebrand.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

How does she look here? She looks kind of stylish, right?

[Tan France]

Look, this had money.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Wealthy family. Dad was a big.

[Sam Morril]

But there's people with money who look like shit.

[Tan France]

I mean, most people with money look like shit. Nah, she had a stylist. There's no way she was dressing herself. Even back in the day. She had a stylist.

[Sam Morril]

It's funny to be a sexual deviant and be like, I need to look good on the Runway.

[Mark Normand]

It's funny.

[Sam Morril]

You just be pure evil, and you're like, I need someone to help.

[Tan France]

Isn't that insane?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Look at that. Very chic, vile bitch

[Sam Morril]

she is. What do you want him to say? She was lovely.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

She's a good person.

[Tan France]

Yeah. Like the actual devil.

[Mark Normand]

God, the short hair sucks. But that's the worst thing she's done.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. You gotta be so hot as a Woman to pull off short hair.

[Mark Normand]

You really do.

[Sam Morril]

Like Mariska Hargitay pulled it off. I'm trying to think, who. What's. Rita Hayworth pulled it off?

[Tan France]

Nancy Portman. Yeah, she pulled it off.

[Sam Morril]

Melanie Griffith back in the day pulled it off. But Halle Berry. But it's rare. You got to be so.

[Tan France]

Yeah, well, it's. I think it's a thing that makes it clear to the world just how hot you are or how not you are. Because when you cut your hair really short, it can ruin you.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. For sure.

[Tan France]

It exposes you. I think a lot of people do it, thinking, I'm hot enough for this. And then you're like, no, your features are large. You can't.

[Sam Morril]

Even. If you're hot, though, you're hotter with longer hair.

[Mark Normand]

I know you hate to say it, actually, not everyone.

[Tan France]

I think I still think that Natalie Portman, the hottest. With short hair.

[Sam Morril]

I think she's really.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, look at that. That is. Look at that face on the bottom left.

[Tan France]

She looks incredible.

[Mark Normand]

Unbelievable.

[Sam Morril]

She looks like Simple Jack. She's beautiful, but not with that look.

[Tan France]

Is it that she's gay gorgeous? Because I think she looks incredible.

[Mark Normand]

She looks like a little boy. No wonder you're into it.

[Tan France]

Actually, that's the streets who are into that. Just so you know.

[Mark Normand]

Good point.

[Tan France]

That's the affliction of straight men.

[Mark Normand]

Straight guys, originally.

[Tan France]

Little boys. I'm telling you, the straight men are the pedos.

[Mark Normand]

I know that.

[Tan France]

You guys are always coming for us. It ain't our.

[Mark Normand]

Oh,

[Tan France]

there are definitely some.

[Sam Morril]

She pulls it off.

[Mark Normand]

She's very attractive.

[Tan France]

But she's still more attractive with the long hair.

[Sam Morril]

For sure.

[Tan France]

She's gorgeous. Always. Actually, she rocked it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but she's got a lesbian vibe.

[Tan France]

Yeah. Because she's a lesbian. What else is she gonna get?

[Sam Morril]

Wait, is she the one who dated the Twilight guy?

[Tan France]

She was the Twilight girl.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Okay. All right.

[Mark Normand]

Robert Pattinson.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Who might be the most handsome man of all time.

[Sam Morril]

He's a handsome guy, right? Yeah. Like Brad Pitt and Benjamin Button. Look kind of weird, but it takes a lot. Make him look weird.

[Tan France]

Yeah, man.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. And snatch. They put a fake nose on him because he was too handsome.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

So they had to ugly him up.

[Tan France]

Couldn't you. Could you imagine that feeling? You go to set and they're like, sorry, we're really fucking struggling. We're gonna have to put prosthetics on you. That's how attractive you are.

[Sam Morril]

Crazy.

[Tan France]

I've talked about this so many times. My husband thinking, could you imagine just walking around knowing that people are checking you out in that way.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I know.

[Sam Morril]

It's like, what's her name? Gwyneth Paltrow in Shallow Halloween.

[Tan France]

Hell.

[Mark Normand]

She was like, this is horrible.

[Sam Morril]

They made her fat in that movie. She's like, this is awful. I'm like, yeah, maybe keep that to yourself. You want to tell everyone that this is hell?

[Mark Normand]

You cannot make that movie today.

[Sam Morril]

No.

[Tan France]

No, you couldn't. But it is a. Incredible. It's one of my favorite. I love that movie.

[Sam Morril]

That was crazy. So you live in Utah?

[Tan France]

Is that what you said? I live in Salt Lake City, Utah.

[Sam Morril]

Is that super conservative there? What's it like being a gay guy in Utah?

[Tan France]

No, I think that you've been to. Have you told me?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, we love Salt Lake. I mean, I love Salt Lake. Great comedy crowds, too.

[Tan France]

They love comedy. Well, they don't drink that much, and so. And they don't have a lot of vices, so that's when they get to let go and be free. Yeah. In Utah, I think that people assume because it's Utah that it's quirky and weird. It's not that weird. Maybe. Maybe I've drank the Kool Aid. Maybe I don't see it anymore. But it's a normal life. It's very liberal where I live. And I've never felt safer being gay anywhere in the world than in Utah. No one's ever caused me a problem. Also, they won't say anything to you. I'm sure you don't get heckled in Utah ever. Like when you. No, they think something mean, they're not gonna say it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

You were saying in Germany, they'll say, this sucks. Get off the stage. They would never say that. New type. They're just not.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, they're very polite people.

[Tan France]

Very polite people. It's one of my favorite places in the world. We're about to move, though. Moving to New York. So I'll see you.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Sam Morril]

Hell, yeah. That's exciting. What prompted the move?

[Tan France]

Midlife crisis. Legit midlife crisis for me and my partner and just work, man. Like you get more work here. And I was kind of living in that weird bubble. But I've been an entertainer for nine years now, and I thought, I can just live in Utah, fly to New York and LA when I need to work. Just. I'm too old for that. I just need to live here.

[Mark Normand]

And that's a longer flight. That's like a deceptively long flight.

[Tan France]

Five and a half hours. No, lay down.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Tan France]

Yeah. There's no lay down between Salt Lake and.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, how about that?

[Sam Morril]

Same with Vegas, I think. Right? Yeah. You're just under the.

[Tan France]

Yeah. The threshold. Yeah. I know it's tough and I do that a lot.

[Sam Morril]

It's a big airport, but. Yeah, it's still. I get it. Like we talk about Salt Lake all the time. It's that part of the world. Like for some reason, like comedy and like Salt Lake and Denver.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

That part of the country is so good.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. So true. But they need a lot. I mean it's. It's no porn, no coffee, no booze.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Was your. Your husband's from there, right?

[Tan France]

Yeah. Well, he's. He's. He was from technically Wyoming, but he's been there for like 40 years, so. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. Gay Wyoming.

[Tan France]

Actually, it's not rare. Yeah, but they don't.

[Sam Morril]

But like Salt Lake had a gay kind of underground scene where. I bet Wyoming not as maybe now, but back then, I bet not as much.

[Tan France]

No. And probably not even now. Whereas Utah, Salt Lake in particular, I think it's one of the top, gayest, gay, friendliest cities in the country.

[Mark Normand]

Ah.

[Sam Morril]

What are others? I mean, is it just. Are the other ones obvious?

[Tan France]

San Francisco, New York, la, place like that?

[Sam Morril]

Chicago.

[Tan France]

Chicago, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

New Orleans. Pretty gay friendly. That's where I'm from. Is it very gay? Huh? Oh, yeah.

[Tan France]

It's a problem. Not see that side of it.

[Mark Normand]

Really. The French Court is very like as a kid even it was. Whoa. Yeah. It was always been very gay friendly in public pockets.

[Tan France]

Because I. I lived there. We were shooting the show for five months in the French Quarter. We made the mistake of living in the French Quarter.

[Mark Normand]

That's a tough spot.

[Tan France]

Me and my husband and our kid.

[Sam Morril]

Any stick ups?

[Tan France]

No, no, no, no. Thank God we had security with us at all times. But it still felt unsafe. Really unsafe.

[Mark Normand]

Then the drunks and Bourbon street, all that. It's always loud. Parking's hell.

[Tan France]

Yeah. Parking was hell. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I can't believe you lived there.

[Tan France]

What? So.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, where else did you live there?

[Tan France]

I'm about to say something that I. Angelique, you might need to tell them to take it out.

[Mark Normand]

We can always edit it.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Hey.

[Mark Normand]

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[Mark Normand]

It's wild. I remember being a kid getting to a cab and the guy would have a beer between his lips.

[Sam Morril]

Dude, I remember that too. I went to school there for a year and a half and you'd get just drunk cab drivers all the time. Wild.

[Tan France]

Terrible.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, they have a daiquiri.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, there's all kinds of corruption with the mayor. It's crazy.

[Tan France]

They literally don't have the resources to top it.

[Sam Morril]

But you talk yourself, you're like, yeah, he probably drinks all the time. He's probably a good drunk driver. You start to like make deals with yourself. Not safe.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but as a kid it was fun because you could just do anything.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, well, he's not going to yell at you for smoking a joint back there if he's drinking. That was the one upside as a kid, but I think I was a

[Tan France]

kid, I'd be fucking terrified thinking the grown ups, not being the grown up. How are we going to get through this?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, you drank your way through it

[Sam Morril]

and it becomes your reality.

[Tan France]

You're just used to it.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly, exactly.

[Sam Morril]

So you did New Orleans. Where else did you live for a long time?

[Tan France]

Oh, my gosh. Okay, I'm going to try and do it in order. Atlanta, Kansas City.

[Sam Morril]

Atlanta was season one, right?

[Tan France]

Yeah. Season one, season two, Atlanta, season three, season four, Kansas City. Philadelphia for one season. New Orleans for two seasons. Austin for two seasons, Japan for one season.

[Sam Morril]

Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

Jeez.

[Tan France]

Oh, my gosh. Where was the last one? Where did we shoot the last one? Oh, dc.

[Mark Normand]

Nice.

[Tan France]

Fun.

[Mark Normand]

These are fun places.

[Tan France]

Yeah. Yeah, actually. Awesome. We had an amazing time. We always shot in summer, which was brutal because we. We are on the street. Fucking brutal. Brutal. But Japan was the best place I ever shot. Have you ever done.

[Mark Normand]

I've never been.

[Sam Morril]

We've got to go to Japan.

[Mark Normand]

We gotta go.

[Sam Morril]

It's like, then. I love Japanese food. I love Japanese culture. I wanna, I want to go American

[Tan France]

comics retour in Japan. Not really.

[Sam Morril]

Neil Brennan just went there and he. I, I think we could do it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah, we should do it.

[Sam Morril]

I don't think we're gonna sell a ton of tickets, but it's like, it would be worth it.

[Tan France]

Do you guys trip tour together ever?

[Sam Morril]

No, no. We might do at some point. We're working on a movie. If that works. We might do a little thing.

[Mark Normand]

That'd be cool.

[Tan France]

But Japan. Japan is truly my favorite place in the world. It's incredible. We shot the show there and it was already on my bucket list. And then I loved it so much that I go back every year. I'm obsessed with the place.

[Sam Morril]

What parts of Japan should we hit?

[Tan France]

Tokyo and Kyoto.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that's what I heard.

[Tan France]

Everyone who's ever been there. No one's ever gonna say I had a shit time, right? Like, no one's even gonna say I had an okay time. Everyone you will meet will be like, japan's fucking awesome.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Tan France]

Nowhere better in the world.

[Mark Normand]

Okay, Nowhere.

[Sam Morril]

There's a place in Flatiron on 23rd, I believe. I literally just had a. They do Japanese breakfast. I love the Japanese breakfast with just all the fishes and veggies.

[Tan France]

Will you text me when you find out what it is? Because I really do want to go. I love a Japanese.

[Sam Morril]

We'll go there.

[Tan France]

I would love that.

[Sam Morril]

Maybe all three. It'd be fun.

[Mark Normand]

I would love.

[Tan France]

I would love that.

[Mark Normand]

What's the breakfast though? I don't even know what they eat for breakfast.

[Sam Morril]

It's just, you know, pickled.

[Tan France]

A lot of. I know it sounds weird.

[Sam Morril]

The egg custard thing, the tamago, it's really good.

[Tan France]

Okay. Oh yeah, speaking of pickles, I'm assuming you've both been because you're both Jewish, right?

[Mark Normand]

No, I'm not.

[Tan France]

You're not?

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Tan France]

Come on, get out of it. Wow, you play it well. Have you did Katz's Deli? Do you know what that is?

[Sam Morril]

My Knicks watch party last night. Jake, who runs Katz's Deli, was at my Knicks party.

[Tan France]

So he was. I met him. Oh God, what's it called? Beat Bobby Flay. You know what, that show?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, of course.

[Tan France]

I went to Beat Bobby Flay and he was there as one of the judges and he was telling me about the place and I was like, yeah, bitch, I know. I know all about your place. Your pickles are the best. Pickles.

[Sam Morril]

Legendary.

[Tan France]

So good, man. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

That's Jake to my right.

[Tan France]

Lovely guy. Yeah, really good guy.

[Mark Normand]

That place is great. The food, the sandwiches is this tall.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, everyone says it's a ripoff.

[Tan France]

It's like.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's expensive, but also it's two meals easily.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. And their beef barley soup is underrated, by the way.

[Sam Morril]

And the knish. I used to always in the winter pop in for a hot dog and a knish.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Because at night there was never a line. And they were. It was a cheap meal. It was like a really cheap hot dog.

[Tan France]

Can I tell you what happened to my breakfast back then?

[Sam Morril]

It was.

[Mark Normand]

Please.

[Tan France]

It's not exciting to you, but I just need to know what I was going through this morning. Do you know what Sunday Morning Cafe is? It's a place that does cinnamon buns. Cinnamon rolls. And I got three cinnamon rolls this morning. I woke up. So I just got back from China last night.

[Mark Normand]

What?

[Tan France]

And I was really jet lagged, so I slept for 10 hours. I woke up at 9:30 and I was feeling really hungry because it had been so long since I'd eaten. So I went to Sunday Morning Cafe and got three cinnamon rolls. And they are fucking massive.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Sam Morril]

This is the place.

[Tan France]

And it was incredible. And I ate all three this morning.

[Mark Normand]

Holy moly.

[Tan France]

One after another didn't pause.

[Mark Normand]

Is this trauma eating Everything all right?

[Tan France]

Do you know? Yeah, it's not. All right.

[Mark Normand]

That's a lot of. A lot of bread.

[Tan France]

When you run a bread store for a couple of weeks, he can really fuck with you. And so you just eat one. What you want? So. Yeah. Three cinnamon rolls.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Tan France]

You have to go. It's incredible. Sponsored by them, but they were incredible.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. That's so good. Can't get that in China.

[Sam Morril]

I have an idea for you, by the way, for the next season of Queer Eye. There should be a hook.

[Tan France]

It's done.

[Sam Morril]

No, but there's the next after this one. It should be like incel edition. You take whoever's most voted most likely to shoot up an office or a school. You take that kid and you're like. And you're like, all right, you save lives. We're gonna fix you. We're gonna pluck the middle of your eyebrows. This could have been huge for me.

[Tan France]

I like this.

[Sam Morril]

You're gonna. You're gonna save them. And that way instead of shooting up the school, they're gonna, like, get the girl.

[Mark Normand]

They're gonna be cool.

[Sam Morril]

Or the guy, whoever. Whoever they like, but get them. Yeah. Scour Reddit for who's the most hostile.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Tan France]

I don't.

[Sam Morril]

We're giving you a makeover.

[Tan France]

Real life version. We could do a movie version of that. Cuz that sounds great. Yeah, it's like a she's all that, but like.

[Sam Morril]

Yes.

[Tan France]

A much more terrifying version of.

[Mark Normand]

I'm talking gamer, mom's base head, Mountain Dew, the whole thing.

[Sam Morril]

Yes. Save the day. We actually have your Rex here. Okay.

[Tan France]

I do have recommend. Wow. Okay, I need you to understand this. Now that I'm looking at this, I did not realize that they were Rex. Okay, these are not reqs for you because you are way too straight to appreciate any of this.

[Sam Morril]

I think we had some gay fans.

[Mark Normand]

Here's the thing.

[Tan France]

I was asked what I like right now, and I was like, great, okay. But apparently I forgot that I'm a very gay man. This girl Jade is iconic in the uk. She was on a show called the X Factor, which kind of like your version of like, America's Got Talent. Oh, yeah, sorry. America's American Idol. You're right. So she was in a girl band for 10 years. She just went solo and her album won album of the year. Our version of the Grammys, which we call the Brits. Her album's incredible, even if you're not a gay man. But she does say she makes music for the gays. It's incredible. When you're at a club like the Berlin One. That's the kind of music you will listen to. It just gets you in the mood. It's great.

[Mark Normand]

Is this gonna kill us, Peters? Hey, nice voice.

[Tan France]

She's got a wicked voice. And she always sings out. She's incredible. Anyway, that's enough, thanks. You don't have the money for that.

[Mark Normand]

Awesome. No, no.

[Tan France]

Okay, next. My rec. God, again, I forgot. I didn't realize.

[Sam Morril]

I've heard of I Am Love. What is this?

[Tan France]

Okay. You know, Tilda Swinton is.

[Mark Normand]

Of course.

[Tan France]

Okay, great.

[Sam Morril]

The girl I'm dating wanted to watch this the other night. We didn't watch. Is it really good?

[Tan France]

You will hate it. She will love it. Yeah, it's definitely a movie for the girls and the gays. Do you know that? Did you ever see that?

[Sam Morril]

Every movie she wrecks is a gay movie. And every movie I wreck is like a movie with the title, like the Woman who Got Murdered. It's like a noir from the 40s.

[Tan France]

So you know Luca. What's his name?

[Sam Morril]

Guardino. Oh, yes. We were gonna watch this. I heard. This is good. All right, I'm gonna watch it. I'm gonna let you know.

[Tan France]

Yeah, I think it was his day.

[Sam Morril]

I love Tilda Swinton.

[Tan France]

I love Tilda Swinton.

[Sam Morril]

She's awesome.

[Tan France]

She's wicked in this.

[Sam Morril]

So he did Challengers, right?

[Tan France]

He did. He did.

[Sam Morril]

That was a cool movie.

[Tan France]

Every movie he has done has been. Oh, okay.

[Mark Normand]

Call me all you need.

[Tan France]

So this is his first one.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

And I think it's an absolute masterpiece. But. But I will say this. If you're watching, you'll think, well, this is a nice movie. Until the last 10 minutes. The last 10 minutes, I sat there and I watched it twice. And both times the audience did exactly the same thing. I used to go to the cinema. I haven't been to cinema in a long time, but the whole audience are the same thing. The credits come up and I haven't never seen an audience sit through the entire credits in complete shock.

[Sam Morril]

Wow. I'm gonna watch it this week.

[Tan France]

Incredible movie.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Tan France]

Yeah. One of my favorites ever. Okay, then. Okay. This one you might appreciate. So I was asking my favorite star, do you know what Conk is?

[Sam Morril]

No.

[Tan France]

So do you know who Dan Morgan is in the uk?

[Sam Morril]

I don't.

[Tan France]

Will you pull up a picture of her? Okay, so Diane Morgan is a fucking national treasure. So she does a show called Conk, and it's in England. When we say, let's say, for example, I'm referring to you and you've got an opinion on Chairs It's Sam on chairs. That's just your opinion on that thing. So it's kunk on Earth. Kong Khon. Religion. Her Religion 1 is on Netflix. Is so fucking funny. She basically starts it out with, I'm gonna tell you which religion is better, Judaism or the Quran? Let's start with the Quran. Oh, so Judaism or Islam? And then she'll say, okay, let me read through the Quran and I'm gonna tell you if it's good or not. And then beep. Because obviously she'll get killed.

[Mark Normand]

Right, right.

[Tan France]

It's just this bitch is so fucking funny. And just the most unfiltered honest opinion on what.

[Sam Morril]

This reminds me a little like, remember back in the day, Penn and Teller did Bullshit? Yes. I thought that was a pretty cool show.

[Mark Normand]

That was a great show. But she's very dry and the deadpan delivery is what makes it.

[Sam Morril]

I'm gonna watch this too.

[Tan France]

So let me sell it. Morphea. She will speak to an absolute expert on a thing. So let's say, for example, Sam, you're talking about how much you love that camera and you're telling her. And once you're finished with how amazing that camera is, she. She'll say, looks shit though, doesn't it? Very serious professors. And you're like, are you. And I still don't know. She won't tell the world. Are the people who are the experts in on it because she's so fucking disrespectful about what they do for a living. And she's like, you wasted your whole life studying that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it's like Ali G or something.

[Tan France]

Why? Why? You've gotta.

[Mark Normand]

You will love it.

[Tan France]

You've gotta check it out.

[Sam Morril]

Check it out.

[Tan France]

Did you hear the check? Black mirror.

[Sam Morril]

Yes.

[Tan France]

He co writes that with her.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, wow.

[Tan France]

Yeah. That's crazy. So they do it together. And she's incredible. She's also on a show called. Do you know what last one laughing is? Yes. So, okay, I've got so many. Recsphere. I'm going to text you these later. So season two of the British version. That one.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, Jimmy Carr.

[Mark Normand]

We've had him on a few times.

[Tan France]

I'm going to say something. Okay, never mind.

[Sam Morril]

Say it. Say it, please.

[Mark Normand]

We can edit.

[Sam Morril]

Say it.

[Tan France]

You can edit. Oh, my God. Actually, you're going to kill me for this one.

[Sam Morril]

Say it.

[Tan France]

This is my. This is already me.

[Sam Morril]

Say it. Say it.

[Mark Normand]

Jimmy Carr's plastic surgery.

[Tan France]

No, I couldn't care less about his surgery.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I thought that was you gonna say.

[Tan France]

I think Jimmy Carr is meant to be, like, our version of who was, like, the most successful comic in America. Like.

[Mark Normand]

Like a Seinfeld or.

[Tan France]

Yeah, yeah, like a Seinfeld. Like somebody that's so respected, and you're like, you can get anything greenlit. And that's Jimmy. And I've always watched, thinking, huh? What?

[Mark Normand]

With that show.

[Tan France]

You mean with anything. Oh, let me tell you why. And I know this, Jimmy, it's not you. You are wonderful. I need you to know that. You're wonderful.

[Sam Morril]

But, Jimmy, it's not you. It's everything you do.

[Tan France]

It's not you. It's your personality. No, no, it's not your personality. It's my fault. The thing is, I think that his kind of comedy is so not my kind of comedy, because his is very different to. I think your. I know your work as well, Martin.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, thank you.

[Tan France]

You two both do a thing that I like, which is you'll just tell a story, and I don't know what you call that, but you'll tell a story. And I'm tracking, like, I'm following what you're saying, and I know you're building to something, and you'll do a callback, and I love that you'll do a callback. His is just a joke and then a joke and then a joke and then a joke. There's no. There's no storytelling whatsoever. And so maybe there's a massive audience that. But that is not my kind of comedy. I live for a comedy special almost every night. I watch comedy.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. All right.

[Tan France]

But I really go for. I want. I want to be caught off guard. I don't want to know that the punchline is coming every fast. And so. And I don't.

[Sam Morril]

You don't like formula? Like, we respect it because it is, like, a high degree of difficulty, what he's doing, where it's like, you're starting at zero every joke. So to me, it's like, okay, every joke's got to be pretty solid, but

[Tan France]

every joke lasts 30 seconds. So you've got an hour special of just joke. And now it's another joke. And that's another.

[Sam Morril]

Sure.

[Tan France]

Build to something.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. You like a through line?

[Tan France]

Yeah, man.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, it's flavors, Honestly, it's like, what's your flavor? Yeah, you know, it's like. I hear what you're saying.

[Tan France]

Personally, I think he seems wonderful, but I just. It's so not my kind of comedy.

[Sam Morril]

Can you tell us who you like?

[Tan France]

Yeah, I. I like, but I love loads. Okay, here are my Americans.

[Mark Normand]

All right.

[Tan France]

I don't know how you're gonna feel about any of this. Do you know who Leanne Morgan is?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah. We saw at the Netflix brunch. We're like, come on the pod. She said she's gonna come on. We got to get her.

[Tan France]

I love, love her. We became actual friends. I love this one. She launched her comedy special, and we were just bored one night, and I think it was during COVID It was a few years ago, and we saw a senior woman on a comedy special. Was like, this is gonna be interesting. You don't see that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's true.

[Tan France]

They don't get Netflix specials. They just don't.

[Mark Normand]

You're right.

[Tan France]

And so I was like, no, I want to check it out. It was one of the best specials I've ever seen in my life.

[Sam Morril]

She's funny.

[Tan France]

Fucking loved it.

[Sam Morril]

I like her delivery too.

[Tan France]

Such good delivery. Because you just don't expect it from her. Because thought that her accent was fake for the first 20 minutes. I was like, dickhead is doing this bit for a long time. And then finally you realize, oh, shit, that's just how she speaks. So love her. I love Beth Stelling. Sorry.

[Sam Morril]

It's all right.

[Tan France]

I love her company so much. I think she's so good at what she does. And then the Brits, obviously, you can tell I like a lot of women. And then the Brits. Sarah Milliken, I think, is an absolute genius. Pull her up.

[Mark Normand]

I don't know.

[Tan France]

Sarah Milliken is one of the most successful comics in the uk. Arguably one of the most. She. She has sold out massive tours.

[Mark Normand]

Okay, I know.

[Sam Morril]

I recognize the face. You recognize.

[Tan France]

She just did an American tour. A sold out American tour, which is hard for a Brit.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Oh, good for her.

[Tan France]

She's been doing it for, like 25 years.

[Mark Normand]

I've seen that cover.

[Tan France]

Yeah, she was. She was very successful. So, yeah, she's my favorite.

[Mark Normand]

All right.

[Tan France]

Yeah, she's my favorite Brit.

[Mark Normand]

Brit.

[Tan France]

Yeah, lots. Okay.

[Mark Normand]

But the laugh show is hilarious. They try to not laugh, and that makes everybody laugh. It's great.

[Tan France]

It is a genius formula.

[Mark Normand]

Genius.

[Tan France]

Actually, this is not for you guys.

[Sam Morril]

Now that we cut back in. I want to make someone's day. Mark, what are some young comics you like?

[Mark Normand]

What?

[Sam Morril]

I want you to say someone's name. Yeah. Shout out to young.

[Tan France]

I'm actually really curious. Who do you. No, I do actually want to know who.

[Sam Morril]

Let's shout out some people who are really cool.

[Mark Normand]

I got a million names.

[Sam Morril]

I'll shout out Maddie Weiner. She's killing at the Cellar right now. I really like her stuff. Stuff.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Ian Lara, Jordan Fisher, Sean Murphy, all very strong. Anthony DeVito. He's not that young, but white folks, there was. There was two blacks in there. Let's see.

[Sam Morril]

Ian. Ian and Jordan are not white.

[Tan France]

Oh, wait, wait. There's someone else that I love.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Tan France]

Just like to say special and useful. YouTube. Do you know who Zach Nowi Towers is?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I know the name. Yeah, I know.

[Mark Normand]

I've done his show.

[Tan France]

It was.

[Sam Morril]

So he's blonde guy, right?

[Tan France]

He's a blond guy.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, I know him.

[Tan France]

I thought he was like 20, but it turns out he's my fucking age. He popped up on my Instagram and then I watched his special. It was incredible. It was so well crafted.

[Mark Normand]

I did his radio show. He's really funny.

[Tan France]

Quick funny.

[Sam Morril]

Very other young folk who are killing it. I'm trying to think.

[Mark Normand]

I know I always blow this.

[Tan France]

I don't know.

[Mark Normand]

The young ones, they're out there. Oh, geez. I'll think of something.

[Tan France]

Are you watching or. I'm assuming you don't watch a lot of comedy because it's your world.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

Do you watch funny af? It just came out.

[Sam Morril]

No, we're gonna have Caitlin and Usaman, I think, together.

[Tan France]

Okay. So Caitlyn and Usama are incredible. Did they win? Don't tell me. I don't. No, no, I'm on the last episode.

[Sam Morril]

Okay. We just told you so.

[Tan France]

They're. Those two are fantastic.

[Sam Morril]

We've known Caitlin and Usama for a long time, so it's cool. It's cool to see comics who are working hard. Like a little bump.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, they were ready.

[Tan France]

Good job.

[Sam Morril]

We did those, those reality shows.

[Tan France]

Oh, you did? I know.

[Sam Morril]

Last comic sucked.

[Mark Normand]

They've gotten better since we. They. They us over. They'd put us in a car and make us wait, you know, like, oh, the car's not working. We'd all sit in a hot van and fight.

[Sam Morril]

Well, clearly Kevin Hart was like, I'm. I'm going to make this as comic friendly as possible. Whereas before, you're dealing with Netflix is way more comic friendly than NBC.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

Yeah. It seemed like they were really happy. Like, I think they were treated well.

[Sam Morril]

I'm sure it's still miserable. Those realities, anything where you pin people together, that's. That's why I like your show is like one of the few reality shows where it's not like a competition.

[Tan France]

The thought of being on what I don't watch Housewives or any of those Shows. But I know, obviously I'm not stupid. I know what the premise is. And I just thought, could you imagine going to work every day, every day, knowing my job is purely just to fight today? Like, I've got to call someone a cunt on camera today.

[Sam Morril]

Some people are really good, though. It's like some people are just, like, gifted with the ability to be like, I like confrontation.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, I wouldn't call it a gift. I guess it's a curse.

[Tan France]

But no, no, I don't shy away from confrontation. I want to something very clear. I think that actually the Internet apparently knows that I can be quite harsh. But I think the common misconception is

[Sam Morril]

Jimmy Carr is killing himself right now.

[Tan France]

I think that the common misconception is because I speak the way I do, that you can say whatever you want. I'm not going to say anything. Oh. I will always have retort. Like, if anyone. I learned this back in the day when I was a kid because I was such a skinny. I was a tiny kid. I was skinny and I was gay. I think that people always thought, I'll destroy him in a heartbeat. And my favorite thing to do was like, okay, just give me what you got. Give me what you got. And I'm gonna make you fucking cry. And you're gonna go home to your mom and tell mommy what this gay did to you. So, yeah, you learn that real young. I'm like, okay, bitch. Like, you think you're big, strong, straight guy. Let me show you.

[Mark Normand]

Anyone else Hard.

[Sam Morril]

I just love the idea of you getting bullied. And you're like, allow me to destroy you.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tan France]

Nice try, pussy. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

And so did you get bullied a lot?

[Tan France]

To go back to what I just said, I think so many tried. I was an exceptionally violent child. Exceptionally violent.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa, Violent.

[Tan France]

Yeah. And so look, I was brown in a white community. My dad made it very clear, you will not come home beaten. If someone swears at you or hits you, you will make sure you almost kill them. Like, if they're not bloodied, there's a problem. If you come home bloody, there will be hell to pay. Whoa. So me and my brothers just learned real young, talk to me wrong and I'm gonna beat the shit out of you. And then we were sent to boxing, so we really knew what to fight. And so, yeah, I loved when somebody would come up and try and treat me like shit. I'm like, okay, bitch, this is funny. You take your turn. Now it's my turn.

[Sam Morril]

I love the idea of you beating the shit out of a kid and then being like, and that's the outfit you chose, that's just awful. Damn, that's cool. Did your dad know you were gay at a young age or no?

[Tan France]

No.

[Sam Morril]

Do you think he would have been cool with it or. No.

[Tan France]

Well, no. God no. But he passed away when I was 13, so I think it was too young to know. And to be fair, no one would have known. No one would have known. Up until the time when I came out, I was living in Timberlands baggy jeans. I didn't speak as softly. Like I was a very, very aggressive kid. And so no one would have suspected whatsoever that I was gay. When I told my family, who I'm really close with, they were completely shocked. Shot. They're like, but you're one of the most aggressive people we know. But that's an act you play.

[Mark Normand]

How old were you when you came out?

[Tan France]

I did it over the course of like 10 years, but I started when I was like 17, 18.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. Pretty late.

[Tan France]

That's hilarious.

[Mark Normand]

Wait, which one is you?

[Tan France]

That's a really good question because none of those brown kids are me. I don't know any of that. I don't know any of the brown people in that picture.

[Sam Morril]

The kid's got good hair, though. Look at that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, beautiful.

[Tan France]

I have literally no idea why those brown people are meant to represent me. Never seen them before in my entire life. Don't know whose family that is. It ain't mine. That's me. Go bottom right. That little kid. Okay, I was four and my mum dressed me in that one with the bow tie, but that was me as a kid.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Okay. Yeah, you don't. You just look like a regular old guy.

[Tan France]

Regular kid, regular kid.

[Sam Morril]

Wow, you really had a glow up. Look at this middle one.

[Tan France]

This emo bitch. Don't make me make 10 seconds.

[Sam Morril]

That's how we'll end the episode. He just curbs on Salak. He was like, jesus killed over this.

[Tan France]

No, you're absolutely right. Do you know what? It's not the Justin Bieber I was. Do you remember somebody called Pete Wentz from like the early 2000s? Was he in a boy. A group of boy band or something?

[Sam Morril]

Good Charlotte, maybe.

[Mark Normand]

So that guy. Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, wow.

[Tan France]

I really liked that guy's hair. He didn't look like that. He had the sweep over hair when he was younger and like all the girls loved him and I thought, okay, I'm going to be that guy. So that's what I was going for.

[Mark Normand]

Damn I think I nailed it. Yeah, that was a tough era.

[Tan France]

What was really weird is seeing a Pakistani emo guy.

[Mark Normand]

That was a rough era. That rap rock kind of. Lip biscuity, Good Charlotte, all that Fred Durst.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that was a weird time.

[Mark Normand]

Totally.

[Tan France]

Okay. That bottom right there, that was the look I was always gonna. But he was, like, on the COVID of every magazine. I was like, who is that guy?

[Mark Normand]

Mm. Oh, Fall Out Boy.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Was there like a. Was there like, a celebrity who made you realize you were gay or, like, that's a hot guy right there.

[Tan France]

Yeah, yeah. Did you ever see. God, what was it called? Awol. Do you know what AWOL is?

[Mark Normand]

Mm. Mm.

[Sam Morril]

Is that the band?

[Tan France]

No, no, no. There's a movie with a guy called Jean Claude Van Damme from the 90s.

[Mark Normand]

We know him AWOL.

[Tan France]

And watching AWOL, I made my family get the A burner because we were poor, so we couldn't afford it, and so we got a burner copy of awol.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Tan France]

Something else in America.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Ah, that happened a lot, Lionheart.

[Tan France]

Yeah, that happens a lot in American movies are called something else in the uk. Anyway, so Lionheart. I just thought, who is. Who is this man?

[Mark Normand]

And he could do the split.

[Tan France]

And he was offered in spandex.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Tan France]

Like, his jeans were basically spandex.

[Sam Morril]

He had a run.

[Tan France]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He almost turned me. It was close.

[Sam Morril]

I was on Conan with him once, and I could tell the interview was not going well because Conan, halfway through the interview, was like, why don't you try and move on me?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, no.

[Sam Morril]

He was just looking for anything.

[Mark Normand]

Pull up. Him dancing in. Is it Bloodsport where he's drunk and dances?

[Tan France]

See, here's the thing.

[Mark Normand]

This dance is hot.

[Tan France]

I. I think I broke, like, VCR tape because there's so many. Yeah, there you go.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, man.

[Tan France]

And he had no moves. No moves.

[Mark Normand]

Yet

[Tan France]

the most attractive thing I'd ever said.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Tan France]

I've got those pants. Oh, wow. I really did get inspired by this guy.

[Sam Morril]

Look at this.

[Tan France]

No one had that physique in the 90s. No one else.

[Sam Morril]

And he had charisma for sure. Pull up the clip of him on the motorcycle. Have you seen this one? The shootout? It's the most stupid shootout scene ever. Yeah, no, he was. He had a run.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. All my friends moms liked Jean Claude.

[Sam Morril]

Is that one the second?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, there. This is the most target.

[Tan France]

Have you seen New Orleans love, Todd Target?

[Sam Morril]

No. This is the most insane shootout scene of all time.

[Mark Normand]

This is tan going to work in

[Sam Morril]

New Orleans I mean, this is pure 90s, 90s.

[Tan France]

I know everyone our age says it, but the 90s were fucking incredible.

[Sam Morril]

The movies in the 90s alone.

[Mark Normand]

Movies, TV, the music.

[Tan France]

Also, did you see that guy when he jumped over that fire? That was so clearly another fucking person.

[Mark Normand]

I know.

[Tan France]

He didn't have the same hair whatsoever. We didn't. We did not give a shit.

[Sam Morril]

There was a movie in the 90s called Three Ninjas. Remember that?

[Mark Normand]

The Three Kids Ninjas.

[Sam Morril]

The grandpa in the last scene, he's supposed to be this great martial artist, and he's just an old, tiny dude. And you can so clearly see a stuntman when he's doing, like, back flips. It's amazing.

[Tan France]

I don't know if you were the same when you were a kid, but when you'd watch martial art movies, once the thing was over, you would fight.

[Mark Normand]

You would fight.

[Tan France]

So I had brothers, so I would do it. Did you ever see a movie called In England? It was called Big Trouble? A Little China?

[Mark Normand]

Yes, of course. Kurt Russell.

[Tan France]

Oh, my God. I was upset.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, this is it.

[Tan France]

This is it.

[Mark Normand]

Wait, what happens?

[Sam Morril]

Big Trouble in Little China. Yeah, for sure. Famous director, wasn't it? Wasn't it someone big who did that movie?

[Tan France]

No, Really?

[Mark Normand]

I don't know.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, maybe this is. Yeah, the grandpa.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that was a bad punch.

[Sam Morril]

This is such a 90s villain. That haircut.

[Tan France]

I know. He always had to have a pony.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it was very seagal.

[Sam Morril]

This is killer.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa. They didn't show the kick.

[Sam Morril]

I don't think that was the grandpa for some reason.

[Mark Normand]

Aw, man.

[Sam Morril]

Remember, he gets him with the jelly beans.

[Tan France]

Yes, it's the same grandpa. He's the same guy in this. He fights in this, too. He's like the sensei in this. Oh, God, I fucking loved it. It was incredible. So it was the Asian dudes. There were three Asian dudes who were like, the ones with magical powers. Yes, they were the sons of the God guy. Oh, my God. I was obsessed. Like, one of them, that one who's snarling, did the lightning. Yeah, him. Oh, and the flips. My dream was to do the backflips across the recessed courtyard just to impress, like, all. I don't know why I thought the girls would be impressed. To impress everyone. To be like, just backflip across the entire thing now.

[Mark Normand]

Are you a gold star?

[Tan France]

There's one up above. Gold star. Just so you know. Which means you didn't even come out vaginally. I can't. What's it called?

[Mark Normand]

Wait, wait, what? Yeah, come out vaginally.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, you were C section. Whoa.

[Tan France]

Never touched it.

[Mark Normand]

One.

[Tan France]

Oh. It's called platinum. It's called platinum.

[Sam Morril]

You were in a C section?

[Mark Normand]

No, I was at the veg.

[Sam Morril]

I was a C section.

[Mark Normand]

Ah.

[Sam Morril]

Big ass.

[Tan France]

You started out platinum.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

Then you ruined it.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

But, yeah, Platinum.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. Platinum.

[Tan France]

No, thank you. Thank you for applauding that.

[Mark Normand]

That's impressive. Out of the gate.

[Tan France]

I do want you to know this, and I want you to know this, like, deep from my heart that this is true. Even though I'm platinum, I've seen more vagina than you two will ever see in your life, I'm sure. Ah.

[Mark Normand]

Where?

[Tan France]

Well, I make clothes for a living. And I see women in their underwear and naked all the time. I've seen so many.

[Sam Morril]

He's a peeping tombo.

[Tan France]

You got us be where? And how can I.

[Mark Normand]

The only thing higher than platinum would be if you came out an asshole.

[Tan France]

I don't know what we call that. Yeah, Real skill.

[Sam Morril]

That's awesome. You and the gerbil from Richard Gere right here.

[Tan France]

But, yeah, I think that straight men are like me and pussy. I'm like you. Calm down, little boy. Like, you've not seen anything.

[Mark Normand]

Now, is that. Is that a bum you out a little.

[Tan France]

It depends on who's. And so I went over and we had a couple of actresses join us for dinner. Some of the most famous actresses in the world. We were there hanging out, and. And I had said. I don't know how it came up in conversation, but I'd never seen a vagina, like, in that way. I'd seen them, but. But never, like, seen seen. We were talking about holes. Do you know how many holes are in a vagina?

[Mark Normand]

Holes? Well, there's the main hole, and then there's the pee hole. So I would say two, we're failures

[Sam Morril]

of the school system here.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

What do we got?

[Tan France]

No, give me your answer.

[Sam Morril]

I was gonna go two, too. Are we way off?

[Tan France]

Apparently it's three.

[Sam Morril]

Really? We have a lady in the room.

[Tan France]

You can't. Yeah, she's a lady. You're right.

[Mark Normand]

I forgot there was a lady.

[Tan France]

No, no, no. We have a lady in the room, so we're not gonna look at her or talk to her. So there are three, from what I'm told by these two actresses. And so I was like. I had no idea. I've never. I've never really seen one. So I had seen many, but just whilst we're getting changed in my studio and never thought to look, look, because that Would be impolite for a gay man. Actually, the straights also don't look when you're not asked to look. Anyway, so she said, come with me. I was like, what do you mean? And the other was like, oh, my God, are we gonna do this? And she was like, yeah. So we went to the bathroom, she took her jeans down and showed me exactly what everything was and how it operates. And what was the most surprising when I was like, what's that thing? And she was like, oh, that's my tampon string. I was like, oh, my God.

[Mark Normand]

Who is this?

[Tan France]

Oh, my God. Wow. What are you doing? Take that away. Don't take that away. It really was. Don't take. No.

[Sam Morril]

He said tampon string. She's like, 80, but I just guessed why.

[Tan France]

No. Who's.

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Sam Morril]

Helen Mirren.

[Tan France]

No. What, do you think Helen Mirren would just show me her vagina?

[Mark Normand]

That's what's interesting.

[Tan France]

Just so the audience know, he just pulled up porn. No, it's not her. I was in complete shock.

[Sam Morril]

Wow. So you're getting invited to better parties than us?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I'm like, you guys want to come over and watch the Knicks all over pizza? You're seeing celebrity vaginas.

[Mark Normand]

You are.

[Tan France]

And then she told our friend to show, and our friend was like, no, I'm not fucking showing you, dickhead. And she was wearing. Do you know what a boob tube is? It's just this fabric that goes around. There's no.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, like a tube top.

[Tan France]

Yeah, tube top. Sorry, in America called tube top. And so she was like, okay. And then without giving her any notice, she just turned and pulled it down. She was like, at least show me your boobs. I was like, I've seen those. I don't care about those.

[Sam Morril]

What a party, man.

[Tan France]

Was he even a party? Party was just a nice, quiet dinner. It's just an interval during dinner.

[Mark Normand]

And are these attractive women shockingly beautiful? Oh, they're just showing gay guys everything.

[Tan France]

Shockingly beautiful.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. You know what we have to spend to see that? I get it for free.

[Tan France]

They're not an only fans. You don't.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Tan France]

You're not gonna spend money on them, but gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. Anyway.

[Mark Normand]

Wow her.

[Sam Morril]

The comment section's me running wild right now.

[Tan France]

Janet was again. I. I've seen many. I know what they look like. It was the most beautiful vagina I've ever seen.

[Sam Morril]

Well, we have to. We know it's a certain age because of the tampon, so the detectives already.

[Mark Normand]

Good point. Good point.

[Tan France]

If it was somebody younger than somebody who has a tampon. I'd be terrible. I wouldn't have been in that situation. I just need you to understand.

[Sam Morril]

I think I speak for Mark too. I say I'd be glad to see Meryl Streep's vagina.

[Mark Normand]

True.

[Sam Morril]

Legendary.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

A lot of range, but it is legendary. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Wow.

[Sam Morril]

I didn't mean to bring it to a screeching hall.

[Mark Normand]

I'm thinking about vagina now.

[Tan France]

And then life got even crazy.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, man. He's the one in Leftovers, right? Leftovers. By the way, huge hog on Thoreau.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

He would go through the jogging.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, yes.

[Tan France]

Pull that scene up.

[Mark Normand]

But I don't want to get too excited.

[Tan France]

I need you to know he is one of the greatest comedy actors. Have you seen him in anything else? He's fucking incredible.

[Sam Morril]

He wrote Tropic Thunder.

[Mark Normand]

No. He did.

[Sam Morril]

He co wrote it.

[Tan France]

What?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he said so.

[Sam Morril]

American Psycho. He's funny as hell in that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

And even just general conversation, he's so funny. He's in. Do you ever watch the show? There's no reason why you would watch this. You know who Amy Sedaris is, right? Of course, of course. Okay.

[Sam Morril]

Strangers with Candy.

[Tan France]

Incredible show. And also the TV host. I forgot his name. Steven is amazing in it.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah.

[Tan France]

So good.

[Sam Morril]

Look at it.

[Mark Normand]

He's got like a potato. What's going on here?

[Sam Morril]

That's a weird shape, though. It looks like a French cruller.

[Mark Normand]

Sunday Morning Cafe.

[Tan France]

So he was an Amy Sedaris show, which is At Home with Amy.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Tan France]

And he plays multiple characters on the show. His comedic timing is incredible. And he always plays a ridiculous character. His body's insane. I know. Yeah, yeah. He's. He's one of.

[Sam Morril]

You don't get to eat anything if you look like that, right?

[Tan France]

He doesn't eat. I don't think he eats dessert even now. He's not a dessert person whatsoever.

[Mark Normand]

Pull up his dating.

[Sam Morril]

Dude. That's gotta be a crazy diet.

[Tan France]

I want to you each know that even there he's probably like 50.

[Mark Normand]

Damn. 50.

[Tan France]

He's in his. He's in his mid-50s now. And his body's insane. Insane.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. Good genes.

[Tan France]

No, it's not that. He works really hard.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Tan France]

No, he works out so much.

[Sam Morril]

That's such a cop out thing to say.

[Mark Normand]

Okay, now it's just fun knowing Jennifer Aniston was getting pounded by that hog. That's exciting.

[Sam Morril]

For years. Look at that. Six years.

[Mark Normand]

Good for her. Okay, I'll be there.

[Sam Morril]

Weren't we supposed to get Amy Sedaris on this podcast. What happened there?

[Tan France]

She's a fucking genie.

[Sam Morril]

Busy.

[Tan France]

Can I tell you the craziest story about her? I met her through Justin. So have you. Do you ever go to Ray's bar? Raise Bar, My favorite bar in New York.

[Sam Morril]

Pull it up.

[Tan France]

Owned by Justin, a guy called Carlos and. And, oh, my God, Mark Ronson. You know, the DJ Mark.

[Sam Morril]

Sure.

[Tan France]

So they own Rays Shout Out Raise. It really is the best bar in the city.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. Throwback.

[Sam Morril]

We're so good about it.

[Tan France]

That boat booth in the corner, if ever I go, they're very nice and they let me have the booth because they'll partition it off. And I was going one day because Justin was hanging and he said, do you want to come? Come hang. Went over, turned up, and Amy Sterris is there. And I'm a mega fan of Amy Steris and I never met her. And at this point in my career, I know how to keep my cool. So I just went over and said, hi, what are you doing there, Amy? And she was like, oh, I'm just having a snack. She had brought to this dive bar saltine crackers and really expensive caviar. And she was there putting caviar on saltine crackers and just having a snack there. It was one of the weirdest experiences, thinking, of course you brought fancy caviar.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, right.

[Tan France]

She's insane in the best way. I think she's an absolute.

[Sam Morril]

I ran into one of the street ones. I don't know her, but I was with Todd Berry, who knows her, and just. She did like a drive by zing on Todd Barry, really. She called him old or something, and it just. It crushed him. But he was. We were laughing, but it was like,

[Tan France]

I don't think she can't. I think that that's just who. She cannot be wildly funny.

[Mark Normand]

Have you seen her house?

[Tan France]

No.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, my God. So cool. Quirky, like, really fun decorations. She does a show out of there. Like a show. Pull up her house. It's incredible.

[Tan France]

Is that where she does her actual show? I believe so that I can know it. If you haven't seen it. At Home with Amy Sedaris is one of the greatest comedy shows on tv.

[Sam Morril]

I gotta watch it.

[Tan France]

Incredible. She's pretending to have a lifestyle show, like a Martha show.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Tan France]

But she booked everything up. And then her assistant is Cola Scholar. And if you don't know who Cola Scholar is. Oh, my God. Cole plays a woman who lives next door who's her assistant, and he plays it so hard. It plays it so. Well, it's gentle genius.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, what a family. Her and the brother. That's a. Quite a bunch of talent there.

[Tan France]

I know. I really. So I was doing a comedy show called Dressing Funny for Netflix, and he was gonna be our guest, and I quit the show the day before. He was meant to be my next guest because I love his work.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

How is it working with Tina Fey? Because we. We. I've never seen Mark freeze up. We were in an elevator with her at a Knicks game, and Mark turned to me. He goes, I'm gonna say something. And he completely chickened out. And I. And I get it.

[Tan France]

So nice.

[Sam Morril]

Because we just. Because we're fans, and we don't want to cross that line.

[Tan France]

Okay. Okay.

[Sam Morril]

30 Rock is like the comfort show.

[Tan France]

I watch it almost every night.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Tan France]

I'm gonna be so lame and give you my. My famous person story. So I was on a Red Carp, my first ever Emmy's. The first year we had only been on TV for, like, three months, four months at this point. Literally just got onto the red carpet. Carpet, and Tina Fey ran towards me and said, oh, my God, I can't believe you're here. And I thought, she can't be talking. There's no way she's talking to me. I turned around thinking, who's talking? I can't believe that I'm seeing Tina Fey. Then I realized, it's me, bitch. And so I was like, wait, who do you think I am? She's like, dan, you did get. I was like, oh, yeah, okay.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that. It is me.

[Tan France]

Anyway, we got along great. And she was like, I'm such a fan. If you ever want to hang out, it's like, of course I want to fucking hang out. You kidding me? You're teen a f. Ing veggies. And so I said, look, this is really weird, but I'm about to start this comedy show for Netflix. If you'd ever consider being on it, thinking, I'm just gonna shoot my shot. She was like, for you. Yeah, I'll do that. And so a couple of weeks later, on Dressing Funny, she agreed with Rachel. Oh, my God, I love her. Why am I forgetting her name? Rachel Dratch. I'm just chatting Rachel. That's no disrespect to you. She's an icon. So her and Rachel Dream Ratch just did my show, and my husband came. He never. He's never been to anything I've done. He couldn't give a shit about this job. He was like, can I come to set I was like, yeah, come to set. Because we are obsessed with my favorite show ever. Yeah, he just sat and watched. Every time in between takes, I'd go back to the green room, and he's like, you're talking to Tina Bay.

[Mark Normand]

She's a feeling.

[Tan France]

And then, yeah, we developed a show together, and I couldn't believe it. And so we got to zoom. I'm praying she will never see this, because the first two zooms we went on sneakily. I took a picture of her on my zoom, thinking, I just need to know that forever I can look back at this picture and be like, I had a zoom with Tina Fey, right?

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Tan France]

Insane.

[Sam Morril]

I had a thing like that with pitching a show with Brian Cox. I never snapped a picture. I was too chicken. But we had him attached to do a show with me, and it never went anywhere. I mean, maybe it will at some point, but it doesn't matter. Just getting Brian Cox, I was like, he liked the script I wrote.

[Tan France]

That's literally what I was about to say. Who gives a shit if it never goes anywhere?

[Sam Morril]

I wrote with Mike Lawrence, by the way. But, yeah, we were in awe of Brian Cox.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But, yeah, Tina Fey is another one who's just like, to be the straight person on that show and still get all the jokes off.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Like, it's crazy. Like, you just made it so you're as funny as everyone in the show, but you're supposed to be like, the. But it was crazy writing.

[Tan France]

I actually think she has the best lines of all the lines. I mean, I know Tracy Morgan's incredible.

[Sam Morril]

And Alec Baldwin.

[Tan France]

No, of course.

[Sam Morril]

Unreal.

[Tan France]

Tina. Her lines are better than anybody else's, and I will say that. And I'm not just saying this to blow smoke. Brass. She's so much better in real life, really. She's wonderfully kind. I was really nervous thinking, there's no way somebody this big is gonna be a good person. Right. Because I was so new to all of it. I just thought that they're all cunts. Like, they've got to be cunts who are that famous. She could not be nicer.

[Mark Normand]

So cool.

[Sam Morril]

I think that's the reason we didn't want to say anything, because I watch 30 Rock all the time, and I'm like, I just want to, like, love her.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I almost don't want to meet her, you know, because she's. Because she's so awesome.

[Tan France]

But you're right about the elevator. There's certain places where she can't escape,

[Mark Normand]

you know, it feels weird I was

[Sam Morril]

about to say on the way out, it's okay sometimes.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, exactly. Let the door open.

[Tan France]

Yeah. There's certain places where people will say whatever they want to say to me and anywhere else. I'm like, this is lovely and I really appreciate it. And I'm sure you've got your versions of it too. But my two places, I'm like, please, please don't talk to me here. Elevator. Because you don't know how long you're in there.

[Mark Normand]

Yep.

[Tan France]

But the one that happens the most, it happened yesterday is when somebody follows me into the bathroom.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, the urinal's an annoying one.

[Tan France]

Well, like I haven't used the urinal in nine years because of that. It happened my first week of becoming an entertainer and someone came to the urinal next to me, started peeing and then started to talk to me about how much they loved the show. And I was like, listen, mate, I don't know what to say. My dick's out.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

Literally got my dick out. And then after that, I've never used a urinal again because people have followed. It happens so much more than you think. Yesterday I'd gotten up a night 19 hour flight and then the manager of the Delta Lounge said, can I have a picture? I was like, yeah, sure. He said, but I can't take it on in the lounge. It's against company policy. I was like, okay. I said, I'll be back in a minute. Use the restroom. So I went to the restroom and he came in to have a picture of me there.

[Sam Morril]

That's not against company policy.

[Tan France]

So I turned and said, mate, that's so nice of you, but I need you to wait outside. And he was like, oh, did I make it weird? I was like, yeah, you're like, unless

[Mark Normand]

you're going to show me your vagina.

[Tan France]

You made it weird, man. Like, why would you come to the restroom with me?

[Mark Normand]

That's crazy.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa. I've never had that one. Never had the restroom thing.

[Sam Morril]

You've never, you've had the urinal. You're next to the urinal.

[Mark Normand]

I guess so. But never the follow in. I, I, I get the, the at the restaurant a lot where the guys are standing over you. And I'm like, oh yeah. And I'm like, how long I'm stuck here? So you got gotta leave.

[Tan France]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

That's stuff.

[Tan France]

Don't you just do that? Well, it was really nice to meet you.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

That's the move. That's the line.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I guess so. I love a drive by. Hey, Comedy.

[Tan France]

I love a drive by. It's my absolute favorite. Yeah. I will take a Drive by over and I. You can do it all day, every day. That doesn't.

[Mark Normand]

All day whatsoever. So just a quick ego boost. Yeah. Boom.

[Tan France]

Yeah. Also, it's nice for the people around who don't know you. You're like, yeah, bitch.

[Sam Morril]

I try to. I think the elevator, too. I remember. I think we were at a game. Bill Bradley was in the elevator. Nick's last legend. Like, you know, old guy now. But I literally. I'm like, I don't want to bother him. On the way out of the elevator, I was like. I was like, huge fan. Thank you for everything and that and that. And he was like, thank you for. And keep it that quick.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Also, what I love about Tina Fey, her at the Knicks game, she just, like, everybody's hooting and hollering.

[Sam Morril]

It's very Liz Lemon.

[Mark Normand]

It is. It really is.

[Sam Morril]

And Tracy's very Tracy.

[Mark Normand]

And he's right next to her.

[Tan France]

Like, Tina could not be more Liz. And I know that we're not meant to see her as the character, but it is, like, 100% it's her. Like, a lot of the time, you'll meet people that you all met, people that you love a character. Then you meet them in real life. You're like, oh, no, you're really fucking boring. And you're not. Of all that character. But she can't turn it off. She literally can't turn it off. She is Liz.

[Mark Normand]

I love that. We gotta get her on. Peters. Get Tita on here.

[Sam Morril]

All right.

[Mark Normand]

Also, Same initials.

[Sam Morril]

Only 10 minutes left. This is a smooth transition into peeves if we can.

[Tan France]

Okay, okay.

[Mark Normand]

A little bit.

[Tan France]

So that bathrooms. Sorry. Look at what fucking professional app. I'm gonna do your fucking. Your link to this. Not only a bathroom is my issue. The biggest issue I have is on a plane. There's been a lot of discourse about it recently online. So here's my biggest issue. When you're on a plane and you just want to recline, and then that person behind you will make a complaint. Or even worse, push it back.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa. That's fighting words. Push it back. This is my seat, man.

[Tan France]

You have no idea. Yeah. How hard it is to be like, don't call them a cunt.

[Mark Normand]

Don't call them a. Don't call them a cunt.

[Sam Morril]

The pushback's aggressive, but I gotta say, as a tall guy, I hate the recline. It always crushes me. It always crushes my legs.

[Tan France]

But I've got A really important question for you. How is your height my problem?

[Sam Morril]

Wow, these are fighting words.

[Tan France]

I can't afford that seat and that is a long ass flight and I need to.

[Sam Morril]

No, on a long flight, you gotta recline. I'll give that for sure.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, man. Would you do the same to a fat guy?

[Tan France]

I would do the same to anyone. Anyone. You know, I just think if again, I paid. Most of the discourse online is just because you paid for it doesn't mean that you get to take up my space. Once somebody reclines, you fucking recline, right?

[Sam Morril]

This is an airline issue, though. They have turned us against each other because they've made the plane seats too small. So instead of being mad at the airline, you're mad at your neighbor. They have turned us on each other and I resent that.

[Tan France]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Sam Morril]

This is a flight issue. These seats are the same size for people who are smaller. Generation.

[Tan France]

Generation ago.

[Sam Morril]

Because these are old planes.

[Tan France]

Yeah, that's fair, that's fair. But would you ever say to someone because you are tall, don't recline your seat?

[Sam Morril]

No, I would never say it, but I'll be like, ugh, it's like one of those.

[Tan France]

And I'm fine. You keep your own anger to yourself. That's the respectful thing too. Just, just swallow it and just.

[Sam Morril]

I've seen the photo of the person with the hair, the long hair above the screen.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's crazy.

[Sam Morril]

Disgusting.

[Mark Normand]

They should be deported.

[Tan France]

I saw someone do this and I know it's so mean. And I'm not suggesting you do it, but it's so what I would want to do, but before I became public. Put chewing gum in that fucking hair. Someone put chewing gum in the hair. I'm like, yeah, I see. You deserved that, dickhead.

[Mark Normand]

Look at that. That's appalling. In the coffee. Whoa, what a move.

[Tan France]

Yeah, I totally get it. Like, how disrespectful.

[Mark Normand]

And then drink the coffee, put gum in.

[Tan France]

It's so disrespectful to do that. I get the calm. I get it.

[Mark Normand]

Now to piggyback on the recline. I hate this guy who uses your seat to get up every time he's yanking.

[Tan France]

Oh, my God.

[Mark Normand]

Sometimes I'll hit my ha. Little bit, you know? Drives me crazy.

[Sam Morril]

I'm like, any aggression or hostility that leaks into my seat is tough.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You getting up shouldn't be my issue.

[Tan France]

Speaking of getting up, do you. Do you have a preference on where you sat on the plane window or aisle?

[Sam Morril]

I'm an aisle man.

[Mark Normand]

All day.

[Sam Morril]

All day.

[Tan France]

Wow. I'm always window. I will never ever go.

[Sam Morril]

Because you're too famous. I think you need to hide.

[Tan France]

I'm not gonna say that, but I will say it does make it harder for people to talk to me or disturb me in a fucking. If I'm by the window. You're absolutely right. And so a window though means that every time I need to use the restroom, I have to ask somebody.

[Mark Normand]

That's why I don't do it.

[Tan France]

Which. No, no, I absolutely get it. Before I became an entertainer, I always had the aisle so I could just get up whenever I wanted to. Also, you get to stretch your leg when the cart's not around, which is great, but I need the security of that window seat. I just need to just be able to tuck away to be left alone. And so I need to get out of the way when I need to pee. And the guy yesterday was pissed with me the entire flight. And so at one point I did say to him, I know it's annoying, but what do you want me to do? Yeah, I have no option.

[Mark Normand]

I need to pee, right? Yeah, but you gotta. You gotta pee. You gotta pee. But are you over peeing? Some guys pee like 10 times.

[Tan France]

I try and do it as little. I will drink as little water as possible so I don't have to. It's maybe like twice. Yesterday was a 19 hour flight. It was gonna happen a lot.

[Sam Morril]

That's crazy.

[Mark Normand]

That guy's nut.

[Tan France]

Oh, my God. It was not.

[Sam Morril]

I've done it. I've apologized. When I've gotten that scene.

[Mark Normand]

You're a peer.

[Sam Morril]

I'm a peer. Oh, I pee a lot. I drink a lot of water and coffee, so it's like that combo is going to kill you.

[Tan France]

Yeah. But you're in an aisle, so you're fine. But if you're in a window, that would be annoying. But if you're. If you're in a window seat, you've got to respect it and be like, I'm not going to drink too much water and I'm going to get up much.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I'll say this. If you're sleeping, mount me, climb over me. I don't care.

[Tan France]

Yes, I've done that.

[Sam Morril]

I've done.

[Tan France]

However, then I have to do what you hate because when you mount somebody, you have to use the front. Yeah, you gotta. You need the support.

[Mark Normand]

But it's always awkward when they wake up. Right. When you're face to face.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

That's weird.

[Tan France]

Yeah. Yeah. I just need to mention one other thing. You just pulled up the Deli Boy, Season 2. The COVID has Fred Armisen.

[Mark Normand]

Ooh.

[Tan France]

And I don't know Fred at all. We're not friends, but I see him regularly at events and he'll always say hello. He's very nice. Fred's one of those people that is such a sleeper. Where do you know him?

[Mark Normand]

No, we don't know him. Actually, I like the show.

[Tan France]

When you first meet him, you think, oh, he's not at all what he is on tv because he's fucking hilarious. And he just seems like a really quiet, boring guy for 10 seconds. Then he'll do what you mentioned Amy Sterris does, which is she'll burn you without you noticing. And you'll be just having a conversation. Then he'll drop something in. You're like, you funny fucker. Like, where? And it's insane, really. He came out of nowhere.

[Mark Normand]

I love that.

[Tan France]

But every time, again, it's been like 10 times that I've seen him and we just did a press tour together, and every time I see him, I just think, oh, yeah, I forgot, you're not Fred from snl. But a few seconds in, you'll drop something fucking crazy. Oh, yeah, you are hilarious. You're just a lot more chill in real life. He's so insanely funny. Some people just have that where they're not fighting for a joke and it's got nothing to do with what you're talking about.

[Mark Normand]

About.

[Tan France]

They'll just drop in something funny that you just think. You think like a. It's almost as if you're on the spectrum, because no regular person would think that.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, I like that.

[Tan France]

And that's why it's so funny.

[Mark Normand]

All right.

[Sam Morril]

And honorable gays.

[Mark Normand]

Can I tell you about honorable gays real quick, please?

[Tan France]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

You look like Michael Imperioli a little in that shot. A little bit.

[Mark Normand]

Sopranos.

[Tan France]

I do. I've never seen Sopranos.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Tan France]

I've never seen the Godfather.

[Sam Morril]

I've never seen any Sopranos. Is a must have.

[Tan France]

Yes, yes. So, honorable gaze. I do a show a little bit. I do a show. Actually. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. I do a show with two Instagram comics, but they're also now touring comics, Eric Sedano and Rob Anderson. I pose a question from Reddit, which is, do you know, what am I? The asshole is on Reddit? It's where, let's say, if you example, you've had a situation between you and you don't quite know if you've been the dick or he's the dick. But you've had a fallout, so you tell the Internet, you tell Reddit this is a situation. And then you always ask at the end, so am I the ass?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I like that.

[Sam Morril]

Are you, like, a mediator here?

[Tan France]

Yeah. So I'm the judge of this. And so we. We have the stories, we animate it, which I think is so funny. The animation is hilarious. So the story comes to life, and then I decide once the other two have fought both sides of which they think is the right party, which one they think is the wrong party, and I decide who is actually in the wrong. It's so funny. It's only 15 minutes. They're five minutes each story. And I think that it's great concept

[Mark Normand]

because we need that in the world. You know when you get the guy on the subway blaring music, and you go, hey, can you turn it down? He goes, fuck you. It's a free country. You're like, wait, how did I become the bad guy?

[Tan France]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You need that guy to step in and say something.

[Tan France]

Yeah. And I am. It's the most me. And so I think everyone's gonna think I'm a really harsh person once they've seen this show, but I just think, no, I'm just a real person on. On tv. I've been forced to try to pretend that I'm just, like, always nice.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Tan France]

That's just the whole Queer Eye brand. I'm just. I've never gotten a real opinion on anything. And on this, I'm like, nah, you're a con. You're a con. Why would you do that?

[Mark Normand]

There you go. All right. Is that online? It's online.

[Tan France]

It's on YouTube. There's four episodes out. We've got another four coming. And then we start shooting season two.

[Mark Normand]

Hell, yeah.

[Tan France]

Love it.

[Mark Normand]

Online's the way to go. TV's going on.

[Tan France]

TV's dying, man. It's almost over. It's so sad.

[Sam Morril]

I got. What do I have coming up? I got Lisbon, Athens, Budapest. Tickets still available in Budapest. Holy shit. Zagreb. That's gonna be great. Tickets. Moving there. Vienna, Warsaw. Just added a second show in Warsaw, Helsinki, and then Stockholm and Copenhagen. I'll add some more dates, but hopefully our summer is okay. Booked with that movie.

[Tan France]

So.

[Mark Normand]

Trying to shoot a movie.

[Tan France]

Can you tell us about the movie? You're not sharing yet.

[Sam Morril]

It's just two drinking buddies who have a liquor company, which we do have, with bodega cat whiskey, and it's. It's kind of their journey, and Failure and stuff. But it's fun. It's got hard. It's. It's a good. It's a really good script, I think.

[Tan France]

And you two of the leads.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

And we co wrote it and joke a minute.

[Mark Normand]

It's funny. It's kind of a throwback with.

[Sam Morril]

With two other writers, Esther Steinberg and Noah Gardenshwart already in production. We're working on it. We're working on it. We'll see if that things. We kind of need to know a lot this week.

[Mark Normand]

It's like your thing. There's a meeting to have a meeting and all that.

[Tan France]

Did you pitch already? No.

[Sam Morril]

Independent financing, so we're not pitching. We're just gonna make it ourselves.

[Tan France]

Great.

[Sam Morril]

We got the money. It's all about the deals now. And we don't give a shit about that. We're just kind of like, whatever. We shouldn't be saying this, but like, we don't care. Just fucking make the movie.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Sam Morril]

We're not trying to get rich on this. We just want to do.

[Tan France]

I of you do scripted already?

[Mark Normand]

We wrote it.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

No, no, no, no.

[Tan France]

But are you already in scripted stuff? Like, have you done a movie?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, he has a few.

[Sam Morril]

I made a movie, but yeah, it's not. It's gonna be out next year.

[Tan France]

Wait, quick question.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

You're both in it, and you just said I can't act.

[Mark Normand]

Well, I'm playing me, basically.

[Sam Morril]

Dude, we've done script reads with him. He's amazing in this. He's himself.

[Tan France]

Imagine that. That's true. You're on stage and you're acting on stage.

[Mark Normand]

I get. I got my.

[Tan France]

I've honed my. He's good.

[Sam Morril]

He's lying. He's a good actor.

[Mark Normand]

Break out of it.

[Sam Morril]

The investors are listening.

[Tan France]

He's lying. I can act.

[Mark Normand]

I'm a great.

[Sam Morril]

He is a good. He's a good actor.

[Mark Normand]

All right, I'm in Tempe coming up. That's. That's my boyfriend there leaving. I'm in Oak, Michigan and Cleveland, Ohio. Keep going. Seattle, Washington, Tampa, Florida, San Francisco, Houston and Nashville.

[Tan France]

You do a lot of shows?

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. Going to Canada as well. Calgary, Regina, Minneapolis, Denver. Come on out. Markdomaccomedy.com check us out on punch up. Get some bodega cat.

[Sam Morril]

How many holes in Regina, Mark?

[Mark Normand]

Three holes in a vagina. Vagina, apparently. I'd like to see that. And I'm gonna take a look at my wife tonight. Get down there with a magnifying glass and a ring light and go to town and it's sad that a gig I taught us more about the vagina that we know.

[Tan France]

You're welcome.

[Mark Normand]

All right. Check out Tan. Thank you, folks.

[Sam Morril]

Thank you, Tan.

[Tan France]

Sunday's the day for my next offender.

[Mark Normand]

A bit of piva wreck. You know, the beer juice.

[Tan France]

Close. I've had a little too much burping. And Norman's talking shit about the fucking poke.

[Mark Normand]

And I get down in the same

[Tan France]

way up on the roof like the cops coming?

[Mark Normand]

And naked Samuel is feeling, feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans? This woman doesn't look like I remember her? And I get down in the same

[Sam Morril]

way

[Mark Normand]

we might be true.