Podcast
We Read Movies
Hosted by We Read Movies · EN
There are good gay movies out there, but we won't be talking about them. We're three unqualified nobodies who discuss the very worst that gay cinema has to offer. At We Read Movies, we don't just watch movies, we read them for filth.
10episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Boy Culture: Generation X
Aug 2901:09:28Tap to summarizeThis week, we watched the sequel, 20 years in the making, to Q Allen Brocka's film Boy Culture, about a very sex-negative prostitute who bums everyone around him out. After raising money on Kickstarter to produce a star-studded TV series about the continuing adventures of everyone's least favorite escort, eventually we got this movie made up of the 6 episodes they actually filmed slapped together with no continuing story or any of the promised stars. Was it worth the wait? Let's find out! Topics discussed: Pretending to be straight to get on competition shows The men-who-will-have-sex-for-money capital of the world Tricking tops into bottoming, with rhetoric Tricking escorts into saying the n-word, with rhetoric Hammer Jack and Tiger Bolt vs. Professor Trenchbottom of the Impenetrable Deep We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm
Transcribe →Henry Gamble's Birthday Party
May 23, 202501:29:15Tap to summarizeThis week, we watched the coming of age teen movie Henry Gamble's Birthday Party, about the most terrible pool party you've ever imagined. Dark secrets about your mom's sex life, casual racism, self-harm, and worst of all a guy playing the guitar. Can Steve from Stranger Things jerking off into a sock save it? Let's find out! Topics discussed: Free-use porn Being prayed up Your cousin's brother Holy ghost poops Pool safety We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm
Transcribe →Codename: Dynastud
May 9, 202501:23:08Tap to summarizeThis week, not to spoil things too much, but we watched the actually very fun superhero/spy comedy/thriller Codename: Dynastud. In the distant dystopian future of 2024, being gay is illegal, and only one man can save us, the magical spy codenamed (by himself, so more what we'd call a "nickname") Dynastud. Featuring head-exploding jizz, evil gay robots, and a Canadian space station, we had an absolute blast talking about this movie. And not just the kind of blast that involves exploding a guy's head with magic space jizz Topics discussed: Batman's code of ethics Green Lantern's dumb weaknesses An even weirder comic book B. Kliban Cats How many heads can you "accidentally" explode with your cum before you're considered a murderer Links mentioned in this episode: https://www.pomegranate.com/collections/b-kliban?srsltid=AfmBOoqEFA5NL_lty1C_PYfg-f3fEgHN1ltKfc9chq4N4MfSt-sClTuH We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm
Transcribe →Birder
Apr 11, 202501:24:58Tap to summarizeThis week, we watched the only somewhat incomprehensible 2023 thriller (?) Birder, which is described on IMDb as being about a "bird watcher who invades a nude queer campground in New Hampshire, ensnaring locals with his dark fetish." What is this dark fetish? Is it bird watching? Let's find out! Topics discussed: Gangbangs made up of emojis Choking people Dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks AI pokemon erotica The New York dating scene We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm
Transcribe →Emilia Perez
Mar 28, 202501:20:34Tap to summarizeWe're back! This week, we watched the Academy-beloved, audience-disliked 2024 movie Emilia Perez. Does the Spanish-language musical about a trans Mexican druglord in hold up, even though it was made by a cis French director who chose to learn nothing about trans people, about Mexico, or even to learn how to speak Spanish? Let's find out! Topics discussed: The problems with Mexican kidnapping codes Why can no one in this musical sing? David Cronenberg's Crash How to know you're the bad guy We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm
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The Little Hours (with Tyler Mead)
Dec 13, 202401:17:02Tap to summarizeThis week, we had special guest Tyler Mead on to talk about the 2017 comedy (mostly?) The Little Hours. Based on one story from The Decamaron (apparently. We've certainly never read it), it's a mostly improvved story where Aubrey Plaza, Alison Brie and Kate Micucci play foul-mouthed, horny nuns and they're all at least a little bit queer too. So what's not to love? Topics discussed: Nick and Vanessa Lachey belong in jail Reading is fundamental and we wish we could do it Glicked Non-English speakers in movies always have English accents Links mentioned in this episode: https://www.tylerhmead.com/ We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm
Transcribe →Pitchfork
Nov 15, 202401:23:45Tap to summarizeWe're back! After a long hiatus while Chris moved across country, we're officially in full swing again, and bringing you a talk about the 2016 slasher (stabber? poker?) Pitchfork, about a group of teens being hunted by a man with a pitchfork for a hand for... reason? Topics discussed: Murderous little girls Straight ads in front of gay porn Goat Story Cow tipping What would Freud think of this movie? We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm
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Vampires: Brighter in Darkness
Jun 24, 202401:51:08Tap to summarizeAfter a brief hiatus, we're back, with the truly amazing bad movie Vampires: Brighter in Darkness. Vampires are real, y'all, and they're all gay, obviously. But otherwise they're not at all like the vampires you're used to. They can summon demon scorpions, and teleport, and hitch rides on the backs of airplanes, but mostly they just hiss at each other. They hiss so much. Topics discussed: Glen Powell's cannibalism story What to do with $10 million Pokemon again AFI's hit song Miss Murder Vampires, what are they exactly? We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm
Transcribe →Brooklyn Bizarre
Apr 22, 202401:13:32Tap to summarizeThis week, we watched the not-really-a-movie movie Brooklyn Bizarre. It's 80-90% montages of upsetting weirdo burlesque performances, and then there's a completely unexplained murder at the end, but join us as Eric tries to convince us that it actually means something. Topics discussed: What exactly is burlesque? Chris describes a very short porno Mumblecore movies that pretend they're gay movies Russian accents What exactly is a metaphor? We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm
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Departing Seniors
Apr 1, 202401:31:42Tap to summarizeThis week we watched the 2023 slasher movie Departing Seniors. When a gay high-schooler is pushed down the stairs by bullies, the blow to his head that almost kills him actually gives him psychic powers, which he can use to see the future. He then uses that power to save his bullies (who, you may remember, just pushed him down the stairs) from a vengeful serial killer, it's unclear why, tbh Topics discussed: The 3 Body Problem is kind of a dumb show But so are a lot of shows we like Other movies that have psychic powers in them Bad hair Never forget that, in the comic books, Thanos wants to make love to a skeleton We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm
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