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AJ Holiday
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
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All.
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AJ Holiday
Welcome to We Talk Back podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.
Tam Bam
We're just two unapologetically black women. An opinion who talks back.
AJ Holiday
What's up, y'? All? It's your girl, A.J. holiday. What's up, Tam Bam?
Tam Bam
Hey, y'. All. It's Tam Bam. I love y' all so much. How you doing, aj?
AJ Holiday
Why? Why you doing this? You want to fight?
Tam Bam
No, I'm just in a good mood. I'm fresh off of vacation.
AJ Holiday
Hey, how was that? What was that looking like?
Tam Bam
Girl, I cut up so bad on them people boat. Oh, I went on a cruise, and I'm not a cruise girly because I always end up sick. But this time, I started taking my Dramamine a day before, and I was taking it just twice a day the whole time, and I never got sick, and I just must have drank liquor all day for four days straight.
AJ Holiday
Did y' all have the top shelf package?
Tam Bam
I should have got a package. I did not get a package, and that was a mistake.
AJ Holiday
So you just was on the boat buying liquor?
Tam Bam
I was. I was swiping other people's sale card.
AJ Holiday
Where the boat left from. I don't really like cruises like that. I only been on a cruise one time, though.
Tam Bam
I'm not a huge fan of them either, because it just feels. Even though the ships are huge, they're like a little floating city almost. You just still feel confined. It's like you living in a mall or something.
AJ Holiday
The one cruise I went on was leaving out of Charleston, y'.
Tam Bam
All.
AJ Holiday
Just imagine how country that was. And it's like everybody from North Carolina, Virginia, South Carolina was on this cruise. I think the lit cruises be leaving, like, from Miami.
Tam Bam
Yeah, that's where we live out of.
AJ Holiday
And I have no. No balcony. Like, we booked it last minute. It was like the hole in the wall. Like, the hole. Like the window in the wall. Like the circle. Like, you gotta have a balcony on your cruise. I felt like I was stuck in a cheap motel on the ocean, you.
Tam Bam
Gotta have a balcony. I won't go on one if I. If. If I don't have a balcony, because I gotta have a place for my week. Yeah, girl.
AJ Holiday
My ex was selling drugs on the boat. And I mean, like, for real.
Tam Bam
They got a jail on the boat.
AJ Holiday
It's no laws on the ocean. Yeah, them people could do what they want. It's people who have come up missing.
Tam Bam
Oh, yeah. Somebody get thrown overboard. Let me tell you, there's a. There's a jail on there, though. You cut up, they'll put you in jail. They got security and they'll arrest you. I know for a fact, not because I got arrested, but I know somebody who did. And they was locked up the whole cruise.
AJ Holiday
That's crazy. This was smoking weed in the cabin. The. The people came to the door, was like, Mr. So and so, are you in there? Are you smoking weed in the cabin? And he, like, got real crunk on them. Like, real nasty. That's how. That's how I knew in our relationship when he would be lying because he got. He would get real angry. Yeah, like, you're wrong, right? He got so crunk on those people. No.
Tam Bam
Damn.
AJ Holiday
Well, he in the real smoking, girl.
Tam Bam
Exactly. I was dancing. I got a video I'm probably posted on We Talk back page on the story. I like my knees is back. Good. I don't know if that liquor had them oiled up, but I was getting to the flow with it. Partying the whole time in the water. I spent like three hours in the water. Like, in the water. I've never done that before. It was a pool, a beach club, and it was called the Hideaway Pool club. And, you know, I got the bar in the water, baby. I had a time that's on the.
AJ Holiday
Boat or wherever y' all docked it.
Tam Bam
It was in Bahamas.
AJ Holiday
Oh, okay.
Tam Bam
Or it was like called Cococay or something like that. It's an island. It's not. I don't know if it's not the Bahamas. I think the island is owned by the cruise line. I don't know. I might be wrong, but it was good. It wasn't Carnival. We were on Royal Career Unison.
AJ Holiday
Oh, royal.
Tam Bam
Okay. Yeah. And it was a nice time. We had a good time. Everybody got along. So it's fun. But what about you? My daddy.
AJ Holiday
My daddy wife, she works for a shipping company and they own, like, cruises. Like, we can get, like, family discounted, like luxury cruises. Like, even like in Europe. You just gotta fly, you know, to catch the cruise or whatever. But yeah. I'll never be having nobody who want to really go on a cruise. I asked my boyfriend about it and the started sending me like all of these ships turned upside down in the ocean.
Tam Bam
It is scary. It is scary. The idea, like, especially when you go out on that balcony at night and all you see is the vast, black, pitch black ocean. It make you realize how small you are. For real?
AJ Holiday
Yes, yes. Like, it wasn't until the end of the cruise I was on it, I realized, like, we could have died. It could have been some real Titanic. Like you literally are so helpless in the middle of the ocean and if.
Tam Bam
A storm hit, y' all just rocking, you know? Yeah. I met this. This guy. He was a security guard. He was from South Africa. He was in love with me on that boat. First of all, I was having my way. Or there's some white boys on there. These white boys was kind of fire, y'. All. They was trying to get me to get in that Jacuzzi with them, but I ain't do it. I came back with the same amount of. I left with. I'm so proud of myself. But he said if I want to go on another cruise, he'll get it. So if you want to go on a cruise, I'll take you. He. I got to go back to the same place because that's the only place he going for the next six months. But if you want to go, we.
AJ Holiday
They living on the ship. You know how them old people live on the cruise ship instead of paying rent places?
Tam Bam
Yeah, he lives on like he works on the boat. It's a six month contract. So he just lived there for six months.
AJ Holiday
Well, you talking about security?
Tam Bam
Yeah.
AJ Holiday
Oh, okay.
Tam Bam
Yeah, yeah.
AJ Holiday
We can use his employee discount for Royal Caribbean.
Tam Bam
But yeah, that was fun. Much?
AJ Holiday
Nothing much this weekend, man. My daddy in the hospital, y'. All, you know, you getting old when your parents start getting sick and like that. It's just, you know, I was talking to one of my homegirls and, you know, I guess sounding regular and she was like, girl, I know you were scared. I'm like, no. Like, this is literally a part of life. Yeah. What I'm saying. And I feel like the first time your parents get real, real sick, you start preparing for stupid. Like, my daddy definitely gonna be around, but his body just breaking down. He's just getting older and older. Oh, I just turned 75, but yeah.
Tam Bam
That'S he getting up there.
AJ Holiday
Hell yeah, man. But 75, like, we are not living longer than our elders. Like, they still outliving us 75 is still a long time.
Tam Bam
Yeah.
AJ Holiday
You know what I'm saying? There's a lot of people, younger people who have been passing and our elders still around here kicking it with diabetes and everything else.
Tam Bam
Yeah. I just want to avoid that, though. I don't want to be. I'm not gonna wood. Because diabetes is just, like, crazy in our community.
AJ Holiday
Absolutely. I don't realize how. How bad it is. And, like, it literally, like, it's serious. It's very, very serious. My daddy's diabetic, so of course that's where it starts. Right. But you got. We gotta take care of ourselves, man. We gotta eat better as.
Shopify Advertiser
As.
AJ Holiday
As young adults, you know what I'm saying? I got to work out because I don't want to be old, alive, and sick. I don't. That. I don't want that.
Tam Bam
Me neither.
AJ Holiday
And I don't want people to have to care for me. And y' all shout out to my. Look, stop. Shout out to my step mama, who only a couple years older than me, because, man, that is she. Is she there for my daddy? Okay. When I can't be, thank God. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm have to heavily just worry about my mama, you know what I'm saying? But, yeah, she. She.
Tam Bam
She is. But that's the blessing.
AJ Holiday
Yes. I'm grateful for her.
Tam Bam
Yes. So let's get into sins.
AJ Holiday
Did you see this?
Tam Bam
This woman, she went on Beyonce's Internet saying that women should ask permission before using someone else's husband to grab something high off the grocery store shelf. And these two women approached her husband and asked that, could they please. Excuse me, sir, could you please help me get that off the top shelf? I'm vertically challenged. They didn't say all of that, but, I mean, it was evident that they were short. And she said that her husband looked at her, and then she looked at him and gave him the okay that he could do it. But she feels like women should ask the woman, can your husband help me versus just saying it to the actual man. And if you ugly, just say that.
AJ Holiday
Girl, how many times he done cheated on you.
Tam Bam
Yeah.
AJ Holiday
He done made you feel small your damn self. Because.
Tam Bam
Right. You that insecure that a woman can't even. What's. Yeah, like, you can't. They can't ask for help. They say, excuse me, sir, can I have a piece of your dick? They want some grits off the top shelf or something like that.
AJ Holiday
God damn if I see any woman struggling to do anything. And I got a Capable man next to me. I'm actually sending him over there to help you.
Tam Bam
Right?
AJ Holiday
We'll be talking about.
Tam Bam
And if he don't, I'm like. I'm be like, what's wrong with you? Why aren't you helping? You see them right there. I'm sure too help all of us.
AJ Holiday
Weirdo. She's a weirdo, man.
Tam Bam
That's weird, man.
AJ Holiday
Listen, if you could bag him, you can have them. You cannot be that insecure, ma'.
Coca Cola Announcer
Am.
AJ Holiday
You know what I'm saying? He's going to who you want to anyway. You cannot control people in that manner. And then to go on the Internet and talk about it like you got your man in check, like he know better. That's even more whack, right?
Tam Bam
That's worse.
AJ Holiday
Yeah. That's the worst part of it.
Tam Bam
Where's your boss at? Where's your boss at? Because you had to look at her to help. It's crazy.
AJ Holiday
Your little regular de ass face.
Tam Bam
Anyway, no, you said something else before we recorded. You said, don't ask your man.
AJ Holiday
Oh, don't ask my man for no money. Okay, don't ask. Listen, don't. No. That I'm associated with. Should a friend be asking them for money? Okay. And let me tell you, I got a sit. I have a friend who asked and I. Before we started recording, I have a friend who asked my daddy to help her get her car fixed before. I feel like you want to suck my daddy dick.
Tam Bam
She already did fuck your daddy.
AJ Holiday
Because why the fuck I don't even know that. No, I don't even know that this happened. His girlfriend told me that you asked him to help you fix your car.
Tam Bam
And do you talk to this friend on the phone? Do y' all communicate?
AJ Holiday
No. Hell no.
Tam Bam
Oh, well, that's why she wasn't.
AJ Holiday
Because of it.
Tam Bam
No, I'm just saying that's why she didn't say nothing to you. Because she don't talk to you.
AJ Holiday
No, at the time. Yes, at the time. Yeah, of course. Like we have. We don't talk now, but at the time. Yes, this is my friend. So what I'm saying is, why would my friend. That's like you calling Rome my daddy and asking him to help you fix your car. Even if it's like him. He fixed cars, Right? My daddy knows how to fix cars, but I never knew that you called my daddy. His girlfriend felt a way about it and told me about it. Yeah, that is. That's the shit I'm talking about right there. Because you would ask my Daddy for some money, right?
Tam Bam
Not me. She's not saying. I would ask her, though. I would not ask you, Daddy.
AJ Holiday
I'm tired of explaining perception and, like, come on, they gotta. They gotta know how. How I'm saying sometimes they don't, though.
Tam Bam
And they'll be in the DMS. Like, don't be asking A.J. daddy for money. See, that's the problem.
AJ Holiday
You as in plural. Like plural. You. Right?
Tam Bam
Yeah.
AJ Holiday
You asking? Yeah, yeah. Like, why would you be asking my man for money? Asking any man associated with me for money. I have a problem with that. And I don't know that you did that. That's a problem.
Tam Bam
So let me ask you this. My friend, one of her close friends, her ex husband, they just got a divorce. He has rental properties. One of her close friends needed a place to stay and went to her ex husband for an apartment. She got the apartment but never paid the rent. So then he called the ex wife because they still communicate and was like, I'm about to evict your friend. She's like, you about to evict who? I talk to this girl all the time. And she never said that she even came to you to rent. To rent a place.
AJ Holiday
Oh, see, now that's up. That's weirdo behavior.
Tam Bam
Don't. I didn't know about the rental. I don't need to know nothing about the eviction.
AJ Holiday
Yeah, that's your business. Once y' all have a conversation and y' all do business, do not try to bring me back into the thing, because why am I just now finding out that she didn't pay the rent? You done gave her a lease and everything else. Why am I just finding out that she's even living in your place? Y' all both kept it from me. For what reason?
Tam Bam
And then she. He. He claimed he assumed that she knew. Yeah, you. Like, that's your friend you talk to all the time. I just assumed that you knew.
AJ Holiday
Interesting.
Tam Bam
But I wanted to let you know that I'm about to put your friend out.
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You know.
AJ Holiday
My thing is. See, see, you have to. Why would you not tell me that you hitting up my ex husband for a place to live? Or why would you not say don't, Don't. Derek got some apartments or whatever, Got some places. You think he got something for rent? Like, why would that not be a conversation?
Tam Bam
Especially when you talk to me? Right.
AJ Holiday
Exactly. Why would you circumvent me to then not pay him the rent? Right also. Yeah, see, that type of shit right there, it's weirdo. Yeah, that's weirdo for sure.
Tam Bam
But getting the grits off the top, that's fine. Helping you carry your suitcase down the steps, that's fine. You know, like, right. I ain't tripping.
AJ Holiday
Yeah. So the Internet is coming from one of my Gemini brethren or whatever you call it. Masika. She Gemini too, child. Masika, you owe me $57. I had bought a raffle from her one time for like some she was doing online and she never, like, followed through with the raffle. You owe me 57. So how much of it is $50 plus never a fee.
Tam Bam
What was it for?
AJ Holiday
Like Apple products, Like Apple, like raffle, like around this time, like a Christmas one year or something like that. She was doing something. Yeah. She never. She never did the raffle, right? Niggas was just waiting and fundraising, right?
Tam Bam
Crowdfunding.
AJ Holiday
Yeah. So recently her estranged husband passed away. So people online are like questioning her because she just recently posted a picture posted up with another man, her current boyfriend. So the post says Masika responds after social users question her grieving the passing of her estranged husband. Says people don't realize her new man Beano may be helping her. She said, I have to continue living my life is what the caption says. But when he. This guy passed like a month ago, right?
Tam Bam
It was.
AJ Holiday
I feel like it was just like a month and a half ago. A couple weeks ago, the headline came out that he had. He had died. And she like put out this super heartfelt message of online letter to him. Darius, my Darius Jamar.
Tam Bam
Did it have dashes in it?
AJ Holiday
Why you say that?
Tam Bam
Like if it's a dash in it? @GPT wrote that. Anytime I see a dash, you ain't right this fuck out of here, Girl.
AJ Holiday
When I tell you that, that is a whole conversation I just had with somebody because my friend is falling out with a friend. And we know this friend can't really talk that well. And she sent all this crazy ass responses. Like, with all these. Don't no normal person just be using all these hyphens? And the longer hyphen, the one that's a little piece of inches longer, like whatever that is, the dash. Nobody uses that in the real English language. For real. When they.
Tam Bam
Nobody uses it.
AJ Holiday
That is super formal.
Tam Bam
And if I see a lot of dot, dot, dots, I think you took the dash out and put that there. But it's okay.
AJ Holiday
We on to y'.
Tam Bam
All. We are.
Shopify Advertiser
To you.
AJ Holiday
We on to you. Because, like, listen, man, if you are allowing ChatGPT to formulate your thoughts, when are you Thinking.
Tam Bam
But you know, I use chat GPT too though. I do.
AJ Holiday
Everybody does. It depends on how you're using it. You know what I'm saying?
Tam Bam
Right.
AJ Holiday
You clearly didn't have a response to none of this, so you lit. Ja ja. You basically put. She basically put my home girl's text messages in chat GPT and allowed chat GPT to then think for her response from her. Yes, that is. You're. We are very much so digressing as a people. But yeah, I don't. I mean, I don't know if they were still actively married. It's just so weird though. Have you seen the guy she's with now?
Tam Bam
No.
AJ Holiday
He's just like a young ass Y.
Tam Bam
N. Well, he ain't got no facial hair.
AJ Holiday
Nah. And got a mouthful of gold teeth.
Tam Bam
Everybody listen. I don't question nobody grieving. Everybody grieve different.
Shopify Advertiser
Every.
Tam Bam
Everybody go through their grieving process different. I don't even think her and that man was together at the time. But that still didn't make it hurt. That her baby, you know, her husband, he. She was in love with him at some point.
AJ Holiday
Yeah. And they have kids together.
Tam Bam
Right?
AJ Holiday
So together is it two kids? They might have two kids together.
Tam Bam
Yeah.
AJ Holiday
But looking at. I was about to talk about his. Her guy. So looking at him, it just reminds me of the guy that. What's the girl Delicious? You seen Delicious boyfriend? Where they going out with these LA gangsters. What the is these niggas? These niggas is killers.
Tam Bam
I'm scared of that type now. I used to like them when I was young. I don't want no more of that shit, girl.
AJ Holiday
I'm good. Did you go in jail? The niggas doing something to go to jail, they don't look like they not going to jail.
Tam Bam
One of my friends, her homegirl, she fucking with some gangster. And she is like a really. She green. She not no street chick. She's very green. A bullet grazed her head in the car with him. I'm talking about she got bullet burned on the side of her head where she got grazed by horning. And you still fucking with him. Whatever bullet you get next, you know, you know what I'm saying? Like leave that man alone. He is gonna get you killed. Are you crazy?
AJ Holiday
Think about going to jail. Like what? Dying never crossed my mind because I'm not about to be riding around with the Y N. I'm meet his ass everywhere.
Tam Bam
You know where there's nowhere. You can't come to my house to eat.
AJ Holiday
I would meet you.
Tam Bam
No we not going out to eat a bullet. Did you hear what I said? A bullet.
AJ Holiday
Prior to all of that happening, you just with a Y N. I'm not pulling like I'll meet you. I'm not getting in the car with you. If you really are. If I even think you living like that.
Tam Bam
Girl, I with you. If I think you're living like that. And now you got great out of her, I would. It ain't no dick that'll let me. Want me to get grazed by a bullet on my face?
AJ Holiday
On her face. She got.
Tam Bam
Yeah. Nah. And how old is she? Almost 40, girl. Bye.
AJ Holiday
You remember thought it was cute for a to smash them with the. With the pistol. I would see people post stuff like that. Like what they want, they want. Not have sex with them but with the pistol in his hand. Like them with the pistol in their hand is nut using the pistol to smash them but just, you know, having it on them, I guess. I don't know. Like I never been into that type of stupidity.
Tam Bam
No. That's weird. No. Thank you, Shane.
AJ Holiday
So apparently the the men's. The men's. The guys they would like to invoke financial celibacy.
Tam Bam
Okay, and what's that?
AJ Holiday
I think we should wait a little while before I give you a dollar. Basically like we be waiting the.
Tam Bam
Listen, listen, babe, I I with you but I'm just not ready for all of that. Okay? I'm not ready.
AJ Holiday
Because I always like men value they pop pocket and we value our so we know that but we still want you to give us the money.
Tam Bam
Right? Just what you said. Put the.
AJ Holiday
Yeah, just put the tip in. Let me get that car so I can put the tip of it in the atm.
Tam Bam
Just a tip.
AJ Holiday
And we treating it like some like yeah, I just want to sort of tip it.
Tam Bam
Let me tap one time. Just let me tap.
AJ Holiday
Just give me the last four digits. Just the last one. Don't ask the last four digits. Yeah, baby, baby, let me get that up off you.
Shopify Advertiser
Yeah.
AJ Holiday
That's how I'm letting niggas start acting like they own financial celibacy. I'm at the finesse link. Yo, baby, yo, let me, let me.
Tam Bam
Let me put that knees don't I.
AJ Holiday
Anytime a text me they miss me. I'm like, you never gave me money. How do you miss me? Men only miss women that they have invested in. That nigga does not miss you. He just trying to finesse my phone. You don't miss me. You never gave me any money. You do not miss me. Does that make Sense to you?
Tam Bam
No, what you're saying don't make sense.
AJ Holiday
You cannot possibly. We've been chatting, however. We've been chatting. We've been texting, whatever we might talk on the phone a few times, and you text me and tell me you miss me. You don't miss me. You never gave me any money.
Tam Bam
How missing somebody work.
AJ Holiday
Yes, it is men only. Like, that's crazy. Like, I just feel like, as a man, like, do you. If I was a man, like, I'm not really missing you. I'm trying to. I'm trying to do something right. Like, the people that I really miss are the people I gave money to. Those are the women I love. You see what I'm saying? Like, those are the people I really with. If I never gave you money, I don't with you. If a never gave you money, he don't with you.
Tam Bam
Right.
AJ Holiday
Is that not true?
Tam Bam
No, I agree. If they're not invested in you, they probably don't care about you. But. But I don't think that don't mean they don't miss you any bitch that they can deal with that they don't have to give money. I think they would probably miss a lot.
AJ Holiday
Nah, you never gave me no money. You don't miss me because you were easy. Impossible. You said because I was easy? Yeah, I mean, like, if.
Tam Bam
If they never gave you money, then you were very the guys.
AJ Holiday
Damn.
Tam Bam
No, I'm just saying, like, not you per se. Just like.
AJ Holiday
See you plural.
Tam Bam
Yeah, like. Yeah, like, you're very missable because you were easy to obtain and keep on. I didn't have to spend no money.
AJ Holiday
Exactly. Men do not miss women they had to spend the money with. Not for real. They just. Maybe they don't want to spend money with the person they know they got to spend money with. So they coming to your discount. Coupon greenbacks.
Tam Bam
What are we talking about this week?
AJ Holiday
And talk about the broke friend. You know, I mean, the broke bestie. The broke bestie, like, either.
Tam Bam
And we're not talking about y' all kids. We talking about your real friends.
AJ Holiday
And maybe at some point, you've been the broke bestie in life.
Tam Bam
I've definitely been the broke bestie before. Let's talk about it. We'll be right back.
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Coca Cola Announcer
Whoa.
What a vibe we've got, y'.
Shopify Advertiser
All.
Coca Cola Announcer
As always, it's classic HBCU energy. Nonstop action. The band is rocking and the crowd lit. Chants echoing, drums beating, everybody showing that school pride. Moments like this. Yeah, they call for an ice cold Coca Cola. Crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there. Mmm, yeah, that taste always hit the right note. Just like the band at halftime. Passionate fans, school colors everywhere. And an ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo. No matter the place, no matter the moment, everybody knows fan work is thirsty work. So grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBCU pride going.
The wait was worth it. Positive affirmations and all the hard work. The keys to your dream home from the vision board have been secured. I see you. A whole new future awaits your planning. From top notch decor, but on a budget to late night backyard summer cookouts, Life feels good. Now comes the time to fill it with memories. What will you host first? Maybe movie night, Game night. Stories that make us laugh. And spades tournaments that make us cry. First you need to get movers and new furniture. And what about party favors? Will there be a theme? Of course it's theme. Because you're always doing the most. Oh, yeah, the food to cook or order out. Don't forget to put it in the group chat so everybody can already see who gonna be there. All that planning can be stressful, but insuring your home shouldn't be. And that's where State Farm comes in. Because State Farm agents can help you choose the coverage you need. Just call, go online, or check out the app. An agent is ready to help so you can focus on showing off your new home. If you know, you know, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
IBM Advertiser
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Sophie Cunningham
This is Sophie Cunningham from Show Me Something. Do you know the symptoms of moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea, or osa, in adults with obesity? They may be happening to you without you knowing. If anyone has ever said you snored loudly, or if you spend your days fighting off excessive tiredness, irritability and concentration issues, it may be due to osa. OSA is a serious condition where your airway partially or completely collapses during sleep, which may cause breathing interruptions and oxygen deprivation. Learn more at don'tsleep on OSA.com this information is provided by Lilly, a medicine company.
AJ Holiday
All right, y', all, today we are talking about your broke bestie. Vacation season is going to be coming up very much soon. Or maybe y' all are planning some shit right now. Y' all know that list gonna get real short.
Tam Bam
Never leave that.
AJ Holiday
Exactly. By the time the vacation ends up, you might end up going by your damn self. And you're one other homegirl who has the money. That's one part of the broke bestie conversation. But I don't think that you have to stop being friends with somebody just because y' all in different tax brackets, basically.
Tam Bam
No, I think you just have to know your personnel for real. Like some friends that you're gonna invite to do certain things, and some friends you're not. Because you just might know that right now they ain't got it. So we was on. Let me just say this. We was on the trip and they was making like, I've known these girls for a long time, right? And they was making fun of me because, all right, at this stage in our life, the bill come, we just split it evenly. We ain't itemizing we ain't seeing who had what. It's just like we count it up and just chop it up. But they was making fun of me because at one time I'd be like, somebody owes me a dollar 79 cents more. I don't know, like, we did the math and I'm still a $79 cents short. Like, I used to penny pitch to the, to the T, to the exact coin. But at that time in my life, which was I was a young woman and I didn't have like any financial freedom. I was living hand to mouth. I don't know if you know what that means, but like, yeah, girl, not you, aj. God damn the listeners.
AJ Holiday
You looking at me.
Tam Bam
Well, who else I'm gonna look at? I don't know, not you, but like, you know, when I get it, you know, And I didn't really have a huge support system where I could be like, hey, I'm. I don't have no money, you know, so that's why I feel like I had to be like, very conscious about how I spent every penny that I got. You know, as I grew older and more financially stable, that was able to change. But my back then, they'd be like, Damn, it's only $2. I need my $2 a value. I can go to Wendy's and get, you know, 99 cent.
AJ Holiday
Me, my one of my ex best friends, you know, now my mama, we definitely weren't rich, right? But my mom, she's very, very good with money and she ain't buying shit you don't need, okay? So people living in the hood probably had way more shit than I had growing up. But we grew up in a, in a home my mom was paying a mortgage on, right? But I had a friend. And this is from through, from high school to college to, you know, grown, grown age, adult, you know, early 20s and shit like that. But I felt like she just always resented me because I had it and not even a lot, right? Because at some point we all started working. So if I. We were like going out to dinner and she like that. If she have it, I got it and vice versa, right? But at some point, I think my income elevated quicker than hers, like finishing college or in college, you know what I'm saying? So I can remember, like just I never. If I got it, you can have it. That goes really for anybody, you know what I'm saying? If somebody asks me for something and I can stand it, I'm going to give it to you for sure. I remember standing in express with Her. And I asked her. I think it was for, like, literally some. A dollar and some change. When I tell you she hounded me. And I had spent so much money on this bitch over the years. It was literally, like, $2 and some change. She was hounding me for.
Tam Bam
How old were y' all at this point?
AJ Holiday
We probably was like, I don't know, 20. 20, 20. Like, 20. Like, 20 years old. But, girl, you got here in my car on my gas, you know, Like, I'm not trying to calculate up on a bitch, but come on now. $2? You about to hound me for $2.
Tam Bam
So what? She asked you for the $2 back?
AJ Holiday
Yes, she did. And I got annoyed very fast, and I did give her her $2 back. And this is probably the first time I've ever spoken about this out loud, but that's some bum shit, bitch. I understand she was broke.
Tam Bam
Like, that makes me think of me, like, 18 years old in college. I don't have any money. That $2 is dinner. Huh?
AJ Holiday
You got my money? Do you see what I'm saying? My money is your money. At some point, you won't get these. This just the way she was hounding me for these $2. At some point, you gonna get them $2 out of me.
Tam Bam
It's crazy. $2 too.
AJ Holiday
I know you were exact. I hope you were exaggerating.
Tam Bam
I'm exaggerating the amount, but it was for real.
AJ Holiday
$2. And that's some, like, my money is your money. So at some point, you're gonna get these $2 out of me. Are you really have nothing else in your pocket right now that you need these $2? I probably needed to hear that to be okay with how she was hounding me.
Tam Bam
Well, maybe that's what the case was, though, because when you. When you're college age and you don't come from, like, wealth, college kids be broke. I used to. I was.
AJ Holiday
Everybody was broke. But she was fucking. I had a nigga who was bringing me a car so I could drive home gas, like. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, that is the difference. You see what I'm saying? Like, my. At some point, my mama stopped doing for me in college.
Tam Bam
Mm.
AJ Holiday
Right. My freshman year in college, I had to fend for myself. We got the same shit going on. Why are you broke and you having sex?
Tam Bam
No, I agree there.
AJ Holiday
What's. What is happening? So you could get money. You sitting on it.
Tam Bam
But that's prostitution. Stop. Don't tell the girls that.
AJ Holiday
Not pro.
Tam Bam
What if you're in college and you're dating someone just as broke as you. Y' all are two broke students. Y' all just trying to figure it out and make it work and rubbing pennies together. I remember me and my friend Stephanie going to Wendy's and I think we had $3 between the two of us. Like, that was it. We were so broke, you know. And we went and got Wendy's value menu and split a cheeseburger in half and split nuggets. Like, that's n was broke.
AJ Holiday
Yeah, I definitely.
Tam Bam
We were sitting on pussy, but we wasn't. We wasn't selling pussy.
AJ Holiday
Like, is not selling. He can at least take you to Walmart. He can at least take you to get something to eat, I guess. I don't know. I definitely had.
Tam Bam
But you were probably dealing with that boyfriend.
AJ Holiday
And I had a boyfriend outside of college. Yes.
Tam Bam
You got to get to her. What do you mean? I gotta get a girlfriend? At the time was broker than me. He was from New York and he was like. He was covered by my house to wash clothes. Like we was poor, you know, like, so I mean, college students are. We're talking about young 18, 19 years old. So you just very young. But once you get a little older, I think you start switching up how you move when it comes to money.
AJ Holiday
Yeah. Because, you know, as we grow, our money grows and sometimes at different or.
Tam Bam
It should.
AJ Holiday
And friendships can't always keep up. Right. So I have a friend right now. Oh, see? See, I don't be knowing who be listening nowadays, like personally. Right?
Tam Bam
Yeah, but you're not dropping no names, so.
AJ Holiday
Yeah, but she just recently got ousted from a baby shower because she was on acting on some broke. Whereas this friend threw her an entire baby shower. And now it's. It's her time. She's having another baby and somebody else is throwing a baby shower. And they collectively put money in the pot, like to do different things. She just didn't have it to do anything. Right. And everybody understood that. So she was asked to do like some tasks. So she said okay about doing. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So she told the person who asked her to do the task, like, can you pick up the cake? Or whatever. She told that person. Yeah. But then she told somebody else that they trying to low girl her. That's an internal problem.
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AJ Holiday
Nobody is low girling you. Nobody even knows that this is happening. Right. But this is how you're feeling because your money up right now. And instead of you just recognizing that because everybody else recognizes it and they're not Putting pressure on you for any, you know, financial contribution, they have some tasks you can still contribute. It doesn't have to be monetary, right.
Tam Bam
But that's the ego. That's an ego thing right there. That's you will be shame.
AJ Holiday
That's accountability. You know, there's a lot of different things wrapped up in there. But one thing that is not, is not your friend's fault, right? So if comments was made, shit like her and all her friends, they be high rolling, they got to do this, they got to do that. So when you start like critiquing what other grown 30, 40 year old people are doing, are able to do and you're not able to do it, that doesn't make like they're not wrong for being an adult, you know what I'm saying? And trying to live life because first of all, a lot of people be having hella bills, right? But they gonna live first, which I agree with fucking bills a little bit. Fuck them a little bit. But yeah, live also, right? But she's just, right now, she's just in between blessings. You're not broken, you're in between blessings. Broke is. This is a state of mind, right? If you just broke, you ain't trying to do nothing to get out of that. And the thing is is that, yeah, I like listening to Reverend Ike, Reverend Ike said if you, if you curse the rich, you'll never be one, okay? So you can't just be talking shit. I don't believe in a non prosperous God. I don't want to go to no church where the preacher broke, okay? I don't want to go to no hospital where the, where the doctor broke. Like I don't want no broke because that is not my state of mind, right. I believe people should be compensated and be making money and be very prosperous. So that's what I'm, that's the energy. I'm with like that type of energy that is broke energy for sure. You're thinking this is not gonna, this is not where you're gonna be always so congratulate and appreciate and show gratitude until you get to where you going.
Tam Bam
Have you ever had like something really good happen for you and somebody that you thought was going to be celebrating the loudest was real quiet?
AJ Holiday
Yes, absolutely. And sometimes it could be a motherfucker with money, right? It's just still the things not happening for them so they can't even, you know, be happy for you in that moment.
Tam Bam
You know, I've had that happen and at first I was feeling away, but Then I, you know what? I decided not to take it personal because it wasn't about me. You know, whatever they were. Whatever they were feeling was an internal thing. And I did not take it personal at the time. I just was like, you know what? Everybody going through their own. I don't know what she's going through right now. She might.
AJ Holiday
Exactly.
Tam Bam
You know, I think a lot of.
AJ Holiday
Times, if we just step back and realize most don't got nothing to do with you. A lot of things, right? And the things that do, you know, what got to do with you. But a lot of times, things, the way people feel it do start with them internally. And even if you feel like you are. Like this feeling is warranted, right? Still. So you can stay on top of your blessings. Make it your. You the problem. Just make. I am learning to be the problem, and I'm okay with that. It's my fault.
Tam Bam
Let me tell y' all this, and this is me be being vulnerable and admitting at a time where I was, like, low key hating on my friend one time. Oh, this is. I'm a human. This is me being honest. All right? So at that time, me and her would, like, share designer bags, right? We would swap out if her bag matched my outfit. I bar, you know, girls bar. Somebody broke into my house and stole a bunch of out of my apartment, and her bag got stolen, so I had to replace her bag, which was like, almost three grand. And I gave her her money, you know? You know, I paid my debts, so I paid her. And she was calling me to show me the new bag she bought with the money I just sent her. And I was like, bitch, honestly, I don't even want to see it. And I just like, I don't want to see that motherfucking bag, bitch. I don't. And I felt like a. Like, she kind of felt salty that I wasn't happy about her new bag. But I am always happy when you get something new. Like, yes, my friend clock that she, you know, she bossy, but when it's.
AJ Holiday
You felt like you bought it.
Tam Bam
Yeah, I felt like I bought that shit.
AJ Holiday
I'm looking in the sky because I'm trying to think that if my friend got robbed, would I charge her for my stolen item? I don't know that I would because at this point, I probably paid for it myself. Okay.
Tam Bam
Right.
AJ Holiday
And now I'm asking her to cough up $3,000 for the bag. I don't know. I don't know. Let's file this insurance claim, see if we can get this goddamn money. I don't know if I'm. I don't know. I think I would just eat it. Honestly, I think I would have just ate it. I don't know if I would have made. I think that you. If you were the one that this got stolen from, you would want your three bands, too.
Tam Bam
Yeah, yeah.
AJ Holiday
See, and this is where, like. Okay, you can understand where you're from.
Tam Bam
Listen. And that's why I pay my debts. I. Listen, I had it. I was responsible for it. Somebody stole it from me. Listen, I. I replace what I. You know. But don't call me about no new you got with my three bands. I don't want to hear it.
AJ Holiday
Now, let me tell you how I know this. Wanting them $3,000. Because when we first started this podcast, okay, we was using some wine glasses at this bitch's house. When I tell y', all, Tammy ass had me for a month to replace her broken wine glass. She did that. Me, on the other hand, I would just bought me a new wine glass. That's just it.
Tam Bam
I love it.
AJ Holiday
It was an accident.
Tam Bam
I love it.
AJ Holiday
It was an accident.
Tam Bam
Did you.
AJ Holiday
I remember I sure did. On the way to record one day, you reminded me via text message, and I stopped right at the. I think it was the Container Store.
Tam Bam
Crate and Barrel.
AJ Holiday
Crayon Barrel. Crate and Barrel. She knows.
Tam Bam
Yeah.
AJ Holiday
Her. One glass.
Tam Bam
Okay, it was one glass. And they weren't even expensive glasses either, but they're so cute. Oh, I can't wait to move back in my house.
AJ Holiday
I'm not. I'm just gonna replace my. Like, I don't have people break so much. If I really, really love it, I feel like you should take the initiative. Initiative. And go replace my. But I'm not about to ask you to. If it was an accident, but I feel like you should automatically do it. Like.
Tam Bam
But I feel like you offered to replace it, though.
AJ Holiday
I did not.
Tam Bam
No, you never did this.
AJ Holiday
I might have. Even if I offer. Even if I offered, you shouldn't have held me to it. God damn. Damn. My glass. You haven't brought my glass. Like, let me get your glass.
Tam Bam
Instead of four, now it's three instead of wino, right?
AJ Holiday
I need my glass.
Tam Bam
Yeah, But. Yeah. So a friend who maybe I was hating a little bit at that time, but only because it was my money. If it was. I mean, guess technically it wasn't my money. It was her money. I replaced something that belonged to her, but because I had to fork over that money, it just hurt a little bit to see because that was in my head. That's whatever you bought supposed to be mine, right?
AJ Holiday
I could have bought that bag for three bands. I just bought you a bag for 3,000. Yeah. I don't know. That is a lot of money. That is a high price item. I would have, I, I would at least settle for 1500.
Tam Bam
Yeah, but. And this is that. That was when I learned my lesson about exchanging shit with each other. Like borrowing stuff.
AJ Holiday
Yeah.
Tam Bam
Don't borrow my shit and I ain't borrowing yours because I do not want to have to replace it if it go missing.
AJ Holiday
Yeah, I really don't. You know, my mama taught me that a long time ago. Don't be letting people borrow your shit. And don't you borrow people things. If you need something, let me know something. You know, I really don't ask people for personal items. For sure. I have, I have a lot of shit went walking out the door. What people you let hold things, they act like they forgot to give it to you. You knew you wanted this shit when I, when I let you hold. When you asked me about it. Where you so and so at? Let me borrow that. When you asked me about it, you was already plotting on accidentally taking that shit three hours back to your fucking house. But I feel like I have had a friend who I'm no longer friends with. She had got a large settlement from a car accident. She got into like a real bad car accident where she got really fucked up. And like during the time from this accident, it might have been like a year and a half where she was waiting on this settlement. Our relationship like plummeted during that time. Like I was going through like a badass breakup at the time. Her and her boyfriend and they were trying to get like stable and then they actually, they were engaged too. They were trying to get stable and how with housing and all that stuff. But they had this big ass in between blessings. They had this super blessing coming through and our relationship just declined at that point. And I, and I, I feel like the, the people who I am no longer friends with, I know I, I know their struggles and I know like their upbringing, I know how they struggled in life and I feel like they couldn't wait to one up me when that is never my mindset, bitch. Because this person could have never let me get my hand on that type of money first and not make sure she was straight. And not saying that I think she should have made sure I was good. Right? But I just realized that the whole time our friendship just wasn't what I thought it was, you know what I'm saying?
Tam Bam
Money.
AJ Holiday
Not even. I don't even think it's money. I think a lot of times the problems I have with people, it could be like that's part of it, right. I have more money in my 20s. Okay. First of all I gotta go real hard the next 10 years.
Tam Bam
You probably didn't have more money. You just probably got more financial responsibilities now than you did when you were.
AJ Holiday
We still ain't got no churn like I feel like as long as you don't got no kids, you balling.
Tam Bam
That's how I just.
AJ Holiday
I always had my own place, you know what I'm saying? For the most part. Like I. I have always had bills.
Tam Bam
Yes, but the egg was $27 back then. Gas wasn't as high as it is. All these, you know, the responsibilities have changed. Then you were accruing student loans, now you're paying them. You like just. You might have been on your parents insurance then. Now you got to pay health insurance. I don't feel care what nobody say once you get closer to 40 you going to the doctor. Way more you did than you did when you was 20 years old.
AJ Holiday
Why the was my cold payment $80?
Tam Bam
Yeah.
AJ Holiday
Primary health care visit.
Tam Bam
Yeah. So just like that that started adding up. You're not wearing cheap ass clothes no.
AJ Holiday
More like oh girl we was in college shopping at BB and Art and B. Yeah. I don't know how the fuck or where we was like my little friend group where we was getting the money from but we was in there. And BB and R and B was not fucking cheap. I mean you paying 125 then in college for a shirt, right? I don't know.
Tam Bam
You couldn't tell me shit in my little R and B. I used to love that shit.
AJ Holiday
Where was we getting the money from? Your some baker pumps and some bigger pumps. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. I don't know what he was getting the money from. For real. Express Express ain't never been cheap.
Tam Bam
No.
AJ Holiday
I started college with hella Express. My sister be boosting too. I had so much Tommy Hill figure and like that back then my sister was.
Tam Bam
I'm about to say still because tell her where I need some tired again.
AJ Holiday
She not got arrested a couple times. She don't do that no more.
Tam Bam
Yeah.
AJ Holiday
But what was I saying? Yeah, I don't know. I think it's sometimes it's the motion right? Just you always have emotion and I know I make it look good even if I don't have it. Good. Like, I don't have it. I' ma still make it look like I got it. You know what I'm saying? I've been big money my whole life and broke financially. You know, people, I, I, I, I would always be surprised, like when guys or even homegirls, like, I don't know, what about me? What make you think I got money for you to borrow? Is no. Is it not ever, like, surprising when somebody calls and asks you for money?
Tam Bam
It is very surprising to me because they know I ain't giving out no money. Like, I will give you money, but everybody knows that I'm the very last option.
AJ Holiday
Like, do I look like a lick? Do I look like a lick? Like, do I look like a safe space that you could. I ask people for money. I ask men for money. So why the fuck are you coming over here asking me for money? Are you okay? Are you okay?
Tam Bam
Okay? Are you okay?
Coca Cola Announcer
What a matchup we got, y'.
AJ Holiday
All.
Coca Cola Announcer
This is that classic HBCU vibe. Non stop action. The band is rocking and the crowd lit. Chance echo drum beat everybody showing that school pride. Game like this. Yeah, it calls for an ice cold Coca Cola. Ah, Crisp and refreshed. That's a game changer right there. Yeah, that taste always hits the right note. Just like the band at halftime. And just like that, we're back at it. Passionate fans, school colors everywhere. And an ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo no matter the sport, no matter the yard. Everybody knows fan work is thirsty work. So grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBC TCU pride going. The wait was worth it. Positive affirmations and all the hard work, the keys to your dream home from the vision board have been secured. I see you. A whole new future awaits your planning. From top notch decor, but on a budget to late night backyard summer cookouts. Life feels good. Now comes the time to fill it with memories. What will you host first? Maybe movie night, Game night. Stories that make us laugh. And spades tournaments that make us cry. First you need to get movers and new furniture. And what about party favors? Will there be a theme? Of course it's theme. Because you're always doing the most. Oh yeah. The food to cook or order out. Don't forget to put it in the group chat so everybody can always see who gonna be there. All that planning can be stressful. But insuring your home shouldn't be. And that's where State Farm comes in. Because State Farm agents can help you choose the coverage you need just call, go online or check out the app. An agent is ready to help so you can focus on showing off your new home. If you know, you know like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
IBM Advertiser
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Sophie Cunningham
This is Sophie Cunningham from Show Me Something. Do you know the symptoms of moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea, or OSA in adults with obesity? They may be happening to you without you knowing. If anyone has ever said you snored loudly, or if you spend your days fighting off excessive tiredness, irritability and concentration issues, it may be due to osa. OSA is a serious condition where your airway partially or completely collapses during sleep, which may cause breathing interruptions and oxygen deprivation. Learn more at don'tsleep on OSA.com this information is provided by Lilly, a medicine company.
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AJ Holiday
Group trips so vacation and shit like that. Like like I said the vacation starts with how many people in the group and by the end of the damn I don't know how many ever 4 months y' all got to pay towards this thing. Half the group then fell out and Then people get upset when you stop inviting them places. You is not that I'm now I am, like, considering your pockets even when you're not right? So it's not that I don't want you to do this thing. I just don't want to put any stress or pressure on you to do it.
Tam Bam
I don't even. I don't even consider that because I be feeling like people are an adult. I don't count people pocket either. You can do it. You gonna do it. If you can't, you can't.
AJ Holiday
So you're gonna still invite them?
Tam Bam
Yeah. It's up to you to decide how you want to allocate your money, right? Yeah. So go ahead now. If you make poor choices, that's on you, baby girl. I don't know what to tell you.
AJ Holiday
All on the boat, all on the cruise, and then you got rent due when you get back.
Tam Bam
Spending the rent money is crazy. But I don't think I have friends that are like. I think we're all at an age where we're not making dumbass choices like that.
AJ Holiday
I don't know. I feel like some people probably still are. Like, they just trying to live right now, and then they resent it and they have buyer's remorse, you know, when the thing is over with. And now you mad at everybody else but yourself. Sometimes you got to stay in the house.
Tam Bam
Yeah.
AJ Holiday
Sometimes you got to sit down. You save so much money. Well, I don't know now. Because of online shopping, bitch. Because I'd be in the dark last I was planning a vacation booking. I don't know how the fuck I'm about to pay for this shit, bitch. But I'm out for Christmas.
Tam Bam
Huh? You leaving this year?
AJ Holiday
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm book. I booked for the 29th. 20. Excuse me. The 20. What's the day after Christmas? 26th. 27th. So the 27th to January 2nd. I'm out.
Tam Bam
I know that's right. You going with your man. Where y' all going?
AJ Holiday
Beatles.
Tam Bam
Are you? Listen, that been on the bucket list, so. I'm glad you're going.
AJ Holiday
I know. So I've been. I tried to see where else because the. The longer you wait, you know, the plane tickets, everything go up. But I'm out, man. I need a vacation. I. I haven't felt like I deserved a vacation in a long time because I've been just out here doing what the I want to do. I feel like I deserve a vacation right now. And I'm taking.
Tam Bam
I always feel like I deserve. I Just got back, and I feel like I deserve another one.
AJ Holiday
All right, Restaurants without checking budgets. Do I need to check with you to see? Do I need to consider somebody's pocket before I pick what restaurant we going to eat at? I feel like most of my friends, if we don't spend money on nothing else, we spending money on food, right?
Tam Bam
We're going to go eat or just don't go. Like, you don't have to go. Like, that's the thing. I'll listen. I'll let you know up front what I'm going to spend. If you invite me to something I'm not, I'll be like, oh, no, I ain't doing all of that. And then here's my thing. I want to go to everything. So I. Like, I went to. In just the past month and a half, I went to New Orleans. No, I went to Chicago, New Orleans, New York, Texas. Then a cruise with different bitches for every trip. But I. I'm. I'm frugal, though. Like, I'm not spending too much every place. Cause I got bitches next week I'm going somewhere with. So I can't run it up with y', all, but I'mma do enough, you know?
Shopify Advertiser
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AJ Holiday
How do you not make your friend feel away, though? Is that even a thing? Like, if you have a. I remember a friend asked me if I wanted to go out to eat. And this is like, when we're now older, this is the person who actually. For the $2 back. So now we a little older, right? She got a kid now, all this shit. And I remember calling to ask me if I wanted to go out to eat because she was in town, and she was like, and I'm paying for. She said, I'mma pay too, for once. What is the phrase? Basically, she's saying, and I'm paying because you always was paying for me before, right? That's on your mind. I never thought about. The only time I would think about things I've paid for is when she would act selfish.
Tam Bam
Well, maybe she was just trying to let you know she paying it for it. She want to treat you. That was like, a good gesture, I guess.
AJ Holiday
But our friendship ultimately ended up ending, really because of, like, money shit. Like, just. I remember when she first got her driver's license, and she was like. She sent me a picture of her license, and she was like, don't I look like. Don't I look like my mama on this license?
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AJ Holiday
I was like, yeah, like a black panther. Cause she had her Afro, right? You asked me if you look like your mama, a 50, 60 something year old lady and you got an afro on your driver's license. I was like, yeah, you look like your mama. Not I said her mom's name now. Not like your mama. Yeah, she was like. She messaged me back. She was like, why? Because I'm not hidden behind weave and makeup. I was like, hello. That ain't. I never had nobody to take me to get a driver's license in a car. Hello.
Tam Bam
What are you mad about, girl?
AJ Holiday
So all these years, mind you, I got a car out last year, high school, and that car got both her and I to work. That car got both her and I to college. Whatever I had, you had, right? But our entire, entire friendship, you have been like tallying up some shit on me that I'm not, right? You're tallying up what I'm able to do for you. I'm not tallying up what I've done for you. Yeah, somehow you built resentment towards me for being capable, right? That has nothing to do with me. And I think sometimes if anybody, like I shouldn't have to dumb myself down to ever make anybody else feel comfortable like this says, don't, don't intentionally flex. How do you intentionally flex? You're going to always be intentionally doing something to somebody who can't because they just going to be feeling away. If they going to feel away, it's not, there's no avoiding that. You know what I'm saying? It's no avoiding that mental illness. Because that's what it is is hating.
Tam Bam
Like, is there a way that you're flaunting your wealth or riches? I can't, I don't. Oh yeah, I don't agree with that.
AJ Holiday
Because I don't know yet to be flying, but you would think that the. It be the little things that somebody's still jealous of. It's your aura, your energy, your. Your motion, right? Don't add money on top of that. Because I had motion before I had money. Same I had the energy before I had the bag. And I still ain't got no bag. You know what I'm saying? Like, not the big bag, not what I consider a bag. I saw, I thought about this topic because I saw a post online today and this dude was saying, he was like, this bitch just commented on his post and this shit fucked me up. She said, he said, the person commented and said, everybody ain't struggling, like I'm all right. And it made him think, like we like a lot of People like, post about struggling and this, this, this, that and that, this, that and the third going on in life. And that's not everybody's situation. Situation.
Tam Bam
Yeah, because when I was saying, like, I was poor in college, it's some people listening. Like, I don't know what that's like, you know, it's probably like we got listeners that don't have. Can't identify with being a poor college student, you know, so I've always been a hybrid.
AJ Holiday
I always been that in the middle, you know what I'm saying? I never had everything. I. I don't feel like I ever had enough of anything. Have I ever missed a meal? Yeah, I have. As an adult, I have missed. Let me stop lying.
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AJ Holiday
Because you got something to eat?
Tam Bam
I don't think I ever missed a meal.
AJ Holiday
I think I've never missed a meal. I've never. My lights ain't never been off in my house as a child or as an adult. Those are the things I'm a. I'm a pay before I do anything else.
Tam Bam
Yeah, me too.
AJ Holiday
That's. You're not. You're not being responsible. Your life is the biggest business you'll ever run.
Tam Bam
But I mean, everybody bottom different, you know, so. Yeah. What some might consider. What I might consider I'm doing well. I'm wealthy. Is a person out there listening would be like, if I ever get to that, like, coming to America, maybe one day you can have all of this. And he was like, that would be something. Yeah. Because now I'm poor as fuck.
AJ Holiday
Right.
Tam Bam
Everybody is, you know, everybody's wealth.
AJ Holiday
Everybody different.
Tam Bam
Yeah, but at the end of the day, don't. I don't think you should. Like, I think it's milk. Mean girl energy to pick your friends based on how much money they got or how they come in financially or.
AJ Holiday
Are there somebody you've been friends with for a long time, you know what I'm saying? And this is like, you leveled up quicker.
Tam Bam
Yeah. You know, but I wouldn't.
AJ Holiday
Like, they can't keep up.
Tam Bam
But you're not, you're not going to discard them because of that, you know.
AJ Holiday
Like, no, absolutely not. But they might discard you. You know what I'm saying? Like, that happens. They might start. A lot of times people who are really wealthy will tell you it's not them that changed, it's the people around them that changed. People start treating you differently. We don't even got no bags, but we, we. We got motion. Right. People don't treat you differently. Yeah, just Thinking you got some shit going on that you might not.
Tam Bam
Right.
AJ Holiday
I always get a surcharge on shit just because I know Charlamagne always trying to tax me on some shit. I don't have Charlamagne's money, that part. So you know, people, it's just a thing, right. And I feel like if success oftentimes it either garners admiration or it garners hater. Like a hater, you. You become a hater. And adults just have a hard time admitting that they a fucking hater. So they will create reasons to justify the hate. Or she be flexing or on her and on her friends, they be doing too much. Like, no, you not doing enough because you could be making more money. But you like to lay down. I like to lay down too.
Tam Bam
I gotta say, at some point you.
AJ Holiday
Gotta get up, right?
Tam Bam
I agree. Or you know what? Some people are okay with not having a lot of money, but. And if you like, I think everybody wants more money, but I think people, some people are okay with like having just a regular house, a regular job. They can feed their family, they can make sure their kids are healthy.
AJ Holiday
Yeah, absolutely.
Tam Bam
Yeah. And they're not trying to go on a yacht, they're not trying to buy expensive bags. And all that is just.
AJ Holiday
I don't do none of that. Yeah, I mean, I definitely like a low little boat trip on vacation.
Tam Bam
I'm gonna say, you like a yacht?
AJ Holiday
Yeah. But like all the materialistic things, like I always say, I want to, I like to buy experiences. It's never gonna be things and stuff.
Tam Bam
I want both. I love me a good bag, a good shoe.
AJ Holiday
Right now if I gotta choose. You see what I'm saying?
Tam Bam
Yeah.
AJ Holiday
And not saying that I really have to choose. I'm not just living for me. I don't even have kids yet. But I think about right now, at this age, if I have a kid, what am I leaving for them? That's why I'm like, I gotta grind for the next 10 years. Cause I did what the fuck I want. I wanted to for the last 10 years. So the next 10 years, girl, we're going to be fucking 50, 60. That shit is coming, girl. Whatever girl is fucking coming and it's coming. So what's the what, what a 401k looking like, right? What a retirement looking like there's other things to consider other than yourself and your fun today.
Tam Bam
No, I agree.
AJ Holiday
So if, if right now at this, at that age and you still worrying about, you know, not being, being able to eat with your friends or do A vacation with your friends. When you gonna do something different?
Tam Bam
I agree.
AJ Holiday
We getting older, and I feel like there's a certain. Like, there's just adult shit that people gonna want to do. And it's nobody else's fault if you can't do the adult shit with them.
Tam Bam
This is true. What you gonna do? Barbecue a mildew?
AJ Holiday
Yeah. What you gonna do? Barbecue a mildew.
Tam Bam
Yeah.
AJ Holiday
For real. For real.
Tam Bam
That's my last last.
AJ Holiday
My last last is take the trip, bitch. If you gotta pop some extra pussy.
Tam Bam
To do it, don't do that.
AJ Holiday
Listen, they fucking anyway. Why would you not. The men know they gotta come with the offerings. Y' all do not let these. Oh, you shouldn't be. You shouldn't go on a trip. And you should having sex. I'mma challenge y' all in 2026. If you. If your finances are not in order, do not pop that in 2026. You do not deserve to be popping that. Bottom line. Okay?
Tam Bam
I don't. You know what? Not only do you. Not nobody deserves to be inside your body if they can't help you. If you're. If you're up out here, why is anybody inside your body?
AJ Holiday
Why? You got time. Cannot come. Thinking about my light bill.
Tam Bam
Right? That part.
AJ Holiday
A loved one to get a hundred dollars from every she. I challenge you to do that, and she couldn't. Can you get.
Tam Bam
I don't know.
AJ Holiday
I didn't ever follow up. I just was like. I just threw it out there. Like, I can't be sucking dick to pay your light bill because that's how I feel. If I. Not to say I gotta get this money from this man to do this thing for this person, but his money is mine too, essentially. Right? So if I. I am fucking with somebody that I know that will do anything for me, at some point, I might have to use them to do something for you. Why I gotta do that when you too.
Tam Bam
Yeah, I'm tripping. It's a little prostitute a little bit, but it's. I get where you're going, where you're going.
AJ Holiday
2026 challenge. Do not pop that if you ain't popping no bands, okay? And watch how lit life get. If all. Everything feels so much better when you got money in the bank. Everything is lit. It feels good to party with money. It feels good to have sex with money. You had to worry about some shit.
Tam Bam
It just. Let me tell you what. I also challenge the girlies. Don't spend your money on a bunch of things like what Cash Doll said, don't Waste money on a bag and can't put a bag in it. If you can't. If you using all your money on stuff, but if some shit happened, you can't fund your life. That's a problem. Stop doing that. You don't want to just look good. You really want to be good. I see that happening.
AJ Holiday
Wearing their money.
Tam Bam
Like, girl got all kind of Chanel bags and all the shoes, and a nigga was, like, funding a lot of this stuff, and then he decided to stop paying her rent, and she was evicted immediately. Immediately. What are you doing?
AJ Holiday
The bags are an investment, right? So you can sell them. But then people be still trying to hold on to stuff, to still look good for the Internet. Whole time, they life in shambles. Probably got a kid out here.
Tam Bam
Just.
AJ Holiday
It doesn't make any sense.
Tam Bam
I saw this one girl, she had, like, all the designer. All the designer. I'm talking about closet stupid. And then, like, was about her business was like, she had, like, a boutique or something, like, and it was folding, and she wanted to gofundme. She put up, like, a gofundme asking people to give her money. Girl, if you don't sell all that shit, you got all that, all of it, but you want to keep it. You want to keep all that stuff and use everybody else money. No. Start over with that. You have what it. That's why when the on what's that show with Mary J. Blige, the Tejadas, and they was, like, trying to come up with.
AJ Holiday
I was like, right?
Tam Bam
I've been wearing designer for three seasons straight.
AJ Holiday
Give me that Louis Vuitton sweater, little throw you had on.
Tam Bam
I'll buy it right now. I would literally watch the show and take their outfits and, like, add it up. Remember? And I screenshot and post the prices of all that y' all got, what y' all need. Why is y' all killing people? Y' all got this right there.
AJ Holiday
They one bill away from being a regular nigga. You don't live your life like that, man. That shit is really whack. And I mean, aside from rent, life insurance, something happened to you. Now you trying to get do dinners and go fund me for a funeral. Your ass deserved to be cremated. You did not. Oh, we gonna make. We gonna make you pay for it. Like Diddy made Biggie paid for his own funeral.
Tam Bam
We won't recall. That's crazy.
AJ Holiday
We gonna recoup it.
Tam Bam
Wow, That's. That's time to go. All right.
AJ Holiday
We all enjoyed this episode. Y' all tune in every Thursday on the Black Effect. I Heart Radio Apple wherever the you get your podcast at. This your co host AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagrams. Kick a tam, y'.
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All.
Tam Bam
It's official tam bam on Instagram, y'.
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All.
Tam Bam
Follow We Talk Back podcast on Instagram. I love y' all so much and I really appreciate, appreciate y' all for joining us every week and being our homegirls and listen us listening to us talking about nothing. Yep, every week. And I love y' all for it. Y' all remember speak now.
AJ Holiday
I don't know.
Tam Bam
Never hold no hold your wallet. Hold on to some of that money. Stop running it up.
AJ Holiday
Oh, don't, don't try to hold your friend accountable for having a bag. Can't be mad at her.
Tam Bam
Bitch. Bye y'. All.
AJ Holiday
Deuces We Talk Back podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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AJ Holiday
All.
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As always, it's classic HBCU energy. Nonstop action, the band is rocking and the crowd lit. Chants echoing, drums beating, everybody showing that school pride. Moments like this, yeah, they call for an ice cold Coca Cola. Crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there.
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AJ Holiday
It matters that we're not just in your community, but that we're part of it. It matters that we're here for you when you need us, day or night, and we want everyone to feel welcomed and rewarded. It matters that CVS is here to fill your prescriptions and here to fill your craving for for a tasty and, yeah, healthy snack at cvs. We're proud to serve your community because we believe where you get your medicine matters. So Visit us@cvs.com or just come by our store. We can't wait to meet you. Store hours vary by location.
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AJ Holiday
So that means a half day. Yeah, give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront.
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AJ Holiday
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Tam Bam
Guaranteed human.
Hosts: TamBam & AJ Holiday
Podcast: We Talk Back, The Black Effect/iHeartPodcasts
This episode dives unapologetically into the realities of friendship and finances—navigating the group dynamics when one or more friends are "the broke bestie." TamBam and AJ bring raw, hilarious, and honest perspectives on how money impacts relationships among Black women, especially around vacations, group trips, and showing up (or not) for each other when wallets are tight. They share personal stories about being both the friend with and without money, handling expectations, and keeping friendships thriving despite differences in financial status.
“At this stage in our life… we just split the bill evenly. We ain’t itemizing… But at one time, I’d be like 'Somebody owes me $1.79 more.' I used to penny-pinch to the exact coin… I was living hand to mouth.” — TamBam [34:53]
“If I got it, you can have it… that goes really for anybody.” — AJ [36:07]
Friendship resentment over money:
Tone: Irreverent, honest, comedic, sometimes vulnerable, and always opinionated—just like your realest homegirls would be.
Recommended For:
Anyone who has ever planned a group trip, split a dinner bill, felt the sting of financial comparison among friends, or just wants an honest laugh about the very real intersection of money and friendship.