DoorDash Gotcho Cash

Summary

Podcast Summary: We Talk Back – "DoorDash Gotcho Cash"

Hosts: TamBam & AJ Holiday
Episode Date: January 15, 2026
Podcast Network: The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts

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Overview

In this lively episode titled “DoorDash Gotcho Cash,” TamBam and AJ Holiday keep it real about the hidden costs of convenience and the surprising ways being broke can end up being more expensive than living well. Intertwined with their candid humor and personal stories, the hosts dive deep into financial pitfalls—from late fees to emotional spending—while also touching on pop culture, relationships, and listener confessions. The episode is an unfiltered and empowering resource for women navigating money, men, and the urge to splurge.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Health Resets and Personal Routines

• AJ shares she’s on a 72-hour water fast to reset her energy and "get empty" ([01:28]).
• TamBam is off carbs and sugar since January 2nd. She recounts trying (and failing) at the carnivore diet:
  “My burp smell like straight meat. Yeah, no, it was ill.” — TamBam ([02:53])
• Both reflect on the mixed emotions and small wins related to dieting and body image.

2. Weekend Catch-ups & Shopping Habits

• TamBam discusses the lull in her hair business at the start of the year.
• AJ admits to battling an online shopping habit and trying to stay out of stores, while TamBam brags about holding off on in-person shopping ([04:45]).

3. Award Shows & Black Excellence

• Teyana Taylor’s Golden Globe win sparks a conversation on Black representation in Hollywood and the perceived value of mainstream awards.
  “They started actually questioning whether or not, like, the awards...even matter. Because Sinners…was running up online… but they don't want to give them their credit.” — AJ ([08:08])
• The hosts speculate on celebrity relationships, questioning PR pairings and the nature of Hollywood fame ([09:11]-[10:57]).

4. Celebrity Gossip & Social Media Drama

• Selena Powell & Offset: The hosts discuss Powell exposing Offset for alleged financial struggles and share disbelief at repeated public scandals ([11:17]).
• Both analyze the industry's fascination with certain women and the groupie-culture ego cycle among male celebrities.
• AJ dives into the psychology of why celebrities confide in notorious “tell-all” women:
  “At this point, I want to know what the pussy’s like…What type of experience is she selling?” — AJ ([14:34])

5. Christian Rock’s Career Shift

• The hosts celebrate Christian Rock signing a professional boxing deal and cheer on her leaving drama behind:
  “I think seeing her as a boxer instead of fighting on baddies, like, is much better.” — TamBam ([16:01])

6. Relationships, Confidence, and Image

• Hot takes on Cam Newton, The Game, and being starstruck by athletes ([17:18]-[18:41]).
• Conversation moves quickly from male bravado to the realities of dating and financial disparities.

7. Main Theme: Why Being Broke is Expensive

[19:00 onward — Core Segment]

Hidden Costs of Financial Strain

• Discuss overdraft fees, late fees, and “convenience” transaction charges: “Being broke doesn't mean you spend less. It means everything costs more.” — TamBam ([19:22])
• Fees for paying bills:
  “You have to pay to pay for…” — TamBam ([19:43])

The True Price of Convenience

• DoorDash, Instacart, and delivery app fees: “If you order Chick-fil-A meal for $12, you're paying $22 or $24 with the tip, you know, $25 just for a $12 meal.” — TamBam ([22:10])
• AJ explains how Instacart marks up item prices and why gig-work conveniences are a “poor tax” ([22:33]-[23:04]).

Service Stories: The Downside of Gig Economy

• TamBam tells a story about an Instacart worker leaving groceries downstairs and making a snide remark, exposing the friction between customers and gig workers ([23:09]).

The Credit Trap

• How bad credit hurts across the board: higher car insurance, higher APR on loans, and rent late fees. AJ gives a satirical how-to on cleaning your credit file:
  “File a police report and report all that as fraud.” — AJ ([26:51])

The Cycle of Low-Quality Purchases

• Buying cheap often means buying repeatedly:
  “People with money pay once. People without money pay forever.” — TamBam ([29:03])

Emotional Spending & Self-Sabotage

• TamBam relates to “I deserve this” spending (e.g., $600 Tom Ford sunglasses), connecting self-care to unnecessary luxury purchases ([30:24]).
• Both hosts share emotional spending and eating stories ([31:13]-[32:18]).

Early Money Lessons

• TamBam’s story of making bank in Europe as a hairstylist and blowing it on temporary joys and “funding friendships.”
• AJ gives real talk to a nephew squandering money before college ([36:03]-[34:29]).

Car Ownership vs. Ridesharing

• Debate whether Ubering is cheaper than car ownership. Verdict: Not in rural/suburban areas—Uber plus convenience costs add up quickly ([40:13]).
• AJ discusses possibly investing in cash cars for Turo/rentals as a side hustle.

Living Above Means

• Discussion about depending on partners for bills, the danger of not saving when someone else is paying, and the importance of putting aside your own money ([44:32]).

Dating and Money

• The expense of dating multiple women versus finding one who actually likes you ([45:44]-[46:38]).
• A debate over whether it’s fair to expect luxury gifts in budding relationships:
  “Don’t ask me to buy something that you ain’t already getting for yourself.” — TamBam retelling a friend ([47:26])

Money Conversations in Relationships

• The necessity of being open about debt and money with serious partners:
  “If you’re trying to build a future with somebody y’ all got to talk about money at some point.” — AJ ([49:08])
• Women’s student loan debt and balancing expectations ([49:08]-[50:01]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Doordash Spending:
  AJ: “Would you be able to log into your bank account and tell our listeners how much you spent in the last 12 months on DoorDash?”
  TamBam: “I do not want to do that. I do not want that statistic.” ([21:20])

• On Self-Love Purchases:
  TamBam: “I just deserve these Tom Ford shades…I believe it, so fuck it.” ([30:41])

• On the Broke-Man Experience:
  TamBam: “Man, a broke man is a dangerous man.” ([54:27])

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Listener Segment: Dumb Bitch Story

Begins [50:48] — Hilarious and Relatable

A listener writes in about dating a man who lives off her, steals her groceries (“meat is crazy”), and even manages to block her first after burning her for nearly $700.

• “The final straw was when he asked me to send him $100 for something important and then posted himself at brunch the next day… He blocked me first.” — Listener ([52:56])
• The hosts mercilessly (but lovingly) roast the story, sharing lessons and similar personal experiences: “Taking meat out your house, feeding somebody else…imagine, yo, you put pork chops in the freezer, and you come home and your tray of pork chops is gone.” — TamBam ([54:02])

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Important Timestamps

• [01:28] – Health routines: fasting & carb-free living
• [05:12] – Slow January for service businesses
• [08:08] – Award shows & Black artists’ recognition
• [14:34] – Selena Powell + Offset discussion
• [16:01] – Christian Rock’s career pivot
• [19:22] – Introduction of main financial theme
• [22:10] – DoorDash & Instacart “convenience tax”
• [26:51] – The credit game: satirical advice
• [29:03] – “People with money pay once...” discussion
• [30:41] – Emotional spending confessions
• [34:29] – Money lessons for the next generation
• [36:03] – TamBam’s story of early financial abundance and waste
• [40:13] – Car vs. Rideshare debate
• [45:44] – Dating, gifts, and financial expectations
• [50:48] – “Dumb Bitch Story” segment: being scammed by a broke boyfriend
• [54:02] – The comedy and pain of realizing you’ve been supporting a user

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Tone & Style

• Bold, raw, and unfiltered but always supportive—keeping a comedic, down-to-earth vibe.
• Both hosts balance laughter with real advice, and their personal stories make abstract financial topics relatable.

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Takeaways

• Being broke is expensive: Fees, bad credit, and convenience services all add up, creating a cycle that’s hard to escape.
• Financial literacy is key: Even a little knowledge can dramatically improve life choices.
• Emotional (and relational) spending traps: Know yourself and protect your energy and your wallet.
• Community matters: The hosts invite laughter at their own expense and their listeners’, creating a judgment-free zone to learn and grow.

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Final Words

Whether it’s getting caught up in DoorDash spending, emotional retail therapy, or dating someone who raids your freezer, TamBam and AJ remind listeners:
“Being broke doesn’t mean you spend less—it means everything costs more.”
Their advice: Talk about money, hold your wallet—and circulate, don’t spend, your cash.

(Tune in every Thursday for more real talk, laughs, and listener stories on The Black Effect / iHeartRadio.)

Transcript

[AJ Holiday]

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[AJ Holiday]

Welcome to We Talk Back podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.

[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion. Who talks back.

[AJ Holiday]

What's up, y'? All? Thank you for tuning in for a new episode of We Talk Back. Oh, wait, yeah. It's your girl, A.J. holiday.

[Tam Bam]

Are you confused?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, it's a new week. Anyway, what's up, y'?

[Tam Bam]

All?

[AJ Holiday]

It's your girl, A.J. holiday. What's up, Tam Bamboo?

[Tam Bam]

Hey, y'. All. I love y' all so very much. Thank y' all for coming back again to chill with your homegirls, Tam Bam and AJ. How you doing, AJ?

[AJ Holiday]

I am doing fine. I'm fasting today for three days. Basically 72 hours.

[Tam Bam]

No food, just water.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, just. I wasn't feeling fine. You know, like, when you just be feeling like every day, I'm like. My energy was just, like, super low sluggish. Every time I eat, I could just. All the food is just sitting.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I need to get empty.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

So that's what I'm doing.

[Tam Bam]

That sounds. That's hard.

[AJ Holiday]

Who wants to fast for 72 hours?

[Tam Bam]

Hello, crickets. Insert cricket sound.

[AJ Holiday]

It's good for you.

[Tam Bam]

I'm doing free lipo. I have not. Yeah, yeah, free lipo. You're right. I have not had carbohydrates or sugar since January 2nd.

[AJ Holiday]

Nice. How's that been going?

[Tam Bam]

Scale has not moved, but three pounds.

[AJ Holiday]

That's a good bit. Today is the 13th.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Three pounds that don't come back. Like, I'll take it.

[Tam Bam]

Well, I don't know if they came back because I ain't looked again because I was getting frustrated looking every day. And then one day, it go up a pound and it go down a pound and it go back up. Then it went down three and ain't looked since it went down three. But I just been doing first I tried to do carnivore diet but I ain't built for that.

[AJ Holiday]

This strain. Meat.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Stink fart gas.

[Tam Bam]

Like my burp smell like straight meat. Yeah, no, it was ill. So I just been doing meat, vegetables and like low sugar fruits and not very much of it. Yep. And that's been. That's cool. I went to the movies and you know, I like. I love a movie date. I love going to the movies and I love the snacks that come along with movies. Well, I could not. I brought a string cheese with me.

[AJ Holiday]

And you know, popcorn. Oh, that's. Is that carbs?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's carbs.

[AJ Holiday]

Butter.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I can have the butter. I can't have the popcorn. So I just got a wee. A hot dog with no bun, no straight glizzy, no ketchup, no mustard, no bread. And the that took me was like she going straight weenie. Y' all just give her one weenie ball weenie for her.

[AJ Holiday]

Everybody eating that damn mystery meat.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that was it in the sins. Oh, wait. Did we talk about our weekends? Do you want to.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, it's the same. I didn't do much this weekend. I just.

[Tam Bam]

Costco. I went to Costco. I went to Ross.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't any stores this weekend, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

I've been really like trying to stay out the stores. Not okay. It's a problem like me being the bed in the dark like Amazon and whatever other website. But I feel like I might have been in Costco and TJ Maxx have. I haven't been there. I haven't been in those stores since January 1st, I think.

[Tam Bam]

Well, that is good.

[AJ Holiday]

Definitely been shopping online. That's another problem.

[Tam Bam]

Well, you know what? That's. That's. I think that's going to be what we need to talk about today.

[AJ Holiday]

Possibly.

[Tam Bam]

Yes, but. All right. So what did I do this weekend? What? No work. I worked a little bit, but. January do not want their hair done. Not the first week of January. Second week of January. It's slow. It's a snail's pace. Slow.

[AJ Holiday]

Valentine's.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Yeah. They're not getting their hair done. It's cold outside. It was nice actually this weekend though. Here. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

We had 75 degrees on Saturday.

[Tam Bam]

It was beautiful. Saturday. One of my homeboys From New York FaceTimed me and he didn't even open his mouth. I was sitting outside in the yard reading a book and it was all sunny and he didn't even open his mouth. He just saw me.

[AJ Holiday]

He was like, don't even have birds chirping up there.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, this is bad for him. But, yeah, I didn't do. I chilled this weekend. All right, let's get into Sins.

[AJ Holiday]

This is one thing I meant to brag about last week, and I forgot. You remember we were talking about them eyebrow pencils? He was like, Anastasia, Anastasia or whatever. Got some good ones. Why did my boyfriend have those pencils for me when I got to Barbados?

[Tam Bam]

Oh, see, he listens. I love a king that listens.

[AJ Holiday]

Tell y' all that these be existing out here, you just gotta.

[Tam Bam]

You just gotta tap in, find them, and.

[AJ Holiday]

And then also, you gotta be who.

[Tam Bam]

You want that part.

[AJ Holiday]

Right? So a lot of times we be unwilling to change. That's why you keep attracting you.

[Tam Bam]

Well, let me tell you something. My. My hinge bae, he gonna be my husband. I already could tell. Like, that's why I'm keeping this one. I'm keeping this one mine, period. All right, Sins.

[AJ Holiday]

Did you watch the Golden Globes? I don't know when the last time I watched a award show.

[Tam Bam]

Ever since the Source Award stopped, I. I ain't watched the award ceremony since.

[AJ Holiday]

So our girl.

[Tam Bam]

No, we lying. We was at the BET Awards last year. So since that. And did we really watch it? That was the last. Before.

[AJ Holiday]

That was a year before last. You said quick time go by.

[Tam Bam]

Damn.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. That was a year before last. We are in 2026.

[Tam Bam]

So.

[AJ Holiday]

Tiana Taylor won a Golden Globe. She won best supporting actress for the movie. After another one.

[Tam Bam]

After.

[AJ Holiday]

Excuse me, One battle after another. Have you seen it?

[Tam Bam]

No, not yet. That's on the to do list, though, because Leo, Leonardo DiCaprio is in there. He's. You know, that's one of my favorite white boys on the screen.

[AJ Holiday]

So big hitter, big fish. And then Sinners won two awards at the Golden Globes as well.

[Tam Bam]

I feel like they deserve so much more.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, they definitely be playing. They be playing.

[Tam Bam]

That. That award was like, good job. I'm sorry, y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Tam Bam]

I'm sorry, but that's what them awards felt like, you know?

[AJ Holiday]

But listen, they started actually questioning whether or not like, the awards and any of, like, the online, like, critic little websites and stuff, if they even matter. Because Sinners was, you know, they be. They was running up online. Yes, but then they don't want to give them their credit.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, they're not going to.

[AJ Holiday]

But them, you know, black people across the diaspora give you your credit, Ryan.

[Tam Bam]

Right. Oh, but Tiana, she was up there crying and I'm so proud of her and I'm so happy for her. I ain't see. Yeah, I ain't see no tears, but I know she was happy and I'm happy for her. I'm so happy for her. Like her and that dude, though, Are they still together?

[AJ Holiday]

I don't think so, no. I hadn't seen. I thought she was pregnant.

[Tam Bam]

Whatever.

[AJ Holiday]

It was a commercial that was on social media and then she just looked pregnant in that commercial.

[Tam Bam]

What's his name? Aaron Pierre. That's Mufasa. Yeah. That's how I can only always remember Aaron Pierre. That's Mufasa. That's right though, right? Aaron Pierre. Something like that. Anyway, I really don't think that was no real relationship. I really think that was one of those Hollywood put together relationships. Her publicist was like, all right, Tiana, we're gonna put you with Aaron Pierre. He is huge and he is hot. We're gonna put you with Aaron Pierre for like a year. You're doing that film right now. One battle after another. That's going to be a huge hit, has Leo in it. It's going to catapult you into superstardom and that'll give you time to heal from Iman. And listen, Teyana, just stick with me and I'm really gonna take you to the top. Okay? Just do as I say. I got you, girl. That was the conversation that was had. And that's true. She on the COVID of Vanity Fair. She just won a Golden Globe. All the things. And she had time to heal from Iman. So I think that's what happened.

[AJ Holiday]

They've been broken up for a long ass time now at this point. Like they've been divorced for a while. I mean, broken up, but they what? Divorced? Maybe a year and some change. But she was with Aaron Pierre for a year. I, I mean, I haven't seen anything saying that they aren't together, but it just doesn't seem like it. I, I don't feel the energy anymore.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

But I do agree that Hollywood definitely be pairing people together. A lot of these bitches is beards. I'm not calling Aaron gay. Right. Aaron. Aaron whatever his name is. I'm not saying he is not a heterosexual man, but oftentimes they do be. They be pairing people up like that. What's it? Taylor Swift that's had a lot of PR type relationships.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

During her career. A lot of people. So you just never know, man. Hollywood is definitely a big ass farce in the facade.

[Tam Bam]

I love it. Now, Selena Powell did You see her over the weekend?

[AJ Holiday]

Over the week?

[Tam Bam]

Yes, over the week.

[AJ Holiday]

Putting. What's the name on blast? Offset. Stupid ass. If I was Cardi B, I'll be beating Offset ass. I would just be beating his ass. So Selena Power said that she has a restraining order on Offset, though, and that he be.

[Tam Bam]

He broke. She said he broke.

[AJ Holiday]

And she said that he told her he only had like $13 million in the bank and that P want like, P from quality control want like 10 million of that. Plus he owed like 2 million in taxes. He just down bad. But I really think he probably told her that he would give her some money or pay for the coochie. And now he probably reneging. Like, I'm really broke. After you post videos with him in the bed. I'm just trying to figure out why y' all still fucking on that girl. She literally puts everybody on blast every time.

[Tam Bam]

It's. It's weird. That would still with a woman who do this. It's almost like they want this to happen. Like, maybe they're hiring her to do this. Because I can't imagine you would still be sleeping with a woman that's going to publicly out you. And you know that that's what she does.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I feel like. And then, I don't know, it's a little bit of homo if they're actually with her because they like it. It's a little bit of homoeroticism mixed in there. Like how men are like each other vicariously through a woman.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Because why do all y' all be on the same women in the industry? That weird, too.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that is weird.

[AJ Holiday]

Some type of, like, some homoeroticism going on. It's not like.

[Tam Bam]

Like, I think it's like an ego thing. Like. Like a watch like they treating this woman like a AP or like a. You know, like, this is the top tier of. This is the top tier of pussy. Because this person was having sex with her, so now I have to have it.

[AJ Holiday]

It's not about the woman.

[Tam Bam]

No.

[AJ Holiday]

It's about who else she's been with. So are y' all niggas, like, secretly in love with each other somehow? What is happening? I just don't understand. She was with that dude Clay from Love Is Blind. She put his ass on blast. I think she done been with Drake. I'm not. No. Who has sex with Keith Chief. What's his chief? Chief Keith, whatever them churn name is. I'm not smashing behind. Like, what If I was a man, I would not smash behind Keef Chief Is that his name?

[Tam Bam]

Chief Keef.

[AJ Holiday]

Keef Chief.

[Tam Bam]

We all as. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Chief is.

[Tam Bam]

A what his name is. Y' all know what we trying to say and don't.

[AJ Holiday]

But yeah, Drake, it's all type of Snoop Doggy Dog.

[Tam Bam]

Like, what?

[AJ Holiday]

What are you doing? Smashing Snoop Doggy Dog and putting him on video on in the bed sleep.

[Tam Bam]

Really?

[AJ Holiday]

I'll just be so. Yes, that happened. Y', all. They be so comfortable around this girl. I just don't understand the psychology of this shit.

[Tam Bam]

She has a certain set of skills.

[AJ Holiday]

Must be.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, she do.

[AJ Holiday]

Cause I, I, I at this point, I want to know what the pussy's like. Okay. I would like to know what type of experience is she selling, Right? Like y' all like your ass 8. Like, what is happening? I want to know. And I did see that she's a Gemini, so I can only speculate, like, the type of shit she could possibly be into. And I, and I almost can. Why they so comfortable, like, sharing information with her too? Because then, like, we might give off that energy that we ain't gonna tell them. Like, I know people be telling me that. I'm like, why are you telling me this? Strangers, right, be telling me. So I don't know if it's just this energy. Like, they just feel comfortable.

[Tam Bam]

I do hair. I get all kinds of information downloads from people that is like, you just met me today. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Are you okay?

[Tam Bam]

But you know, I appreciate that they trust me with their truth. What else about Christian?

[AJ Holiday]

So Christian Rock apparently signed a professional boxing deal recently.

[Tam Bam]

I'm proud of her.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes.

[Tam Bam]

Joe Bag, sis. Good job.

[AJ Holiday]

A real life athlete. Like, she was playing football. She was.

[Tam Bam]

What's it.

[AJ Holiday]

What's the TV show? Gladiator. She did.

[Tam Bam]

She won American Gladiator.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, like, girl, you had no business with a blue face. And then for him to be saying, like, she out of shape and fat now, that bothered me so bad.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, don't say that. Cuz she did have a baby and I don't. I think seeing her as a boxer instead of fighting on baddies, like, is much better. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

And her damn sister. What's the sister name?

[Tam Bam]

Tiki. Need to sign up too.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. Tiki be rocking. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

Tatiki just got beat up on the last episode though, a little bit, but I think it was because she had on socks. No, she took her shoes off and she was in socks. And being a. A veteran of doing in socks on the floor and breaking my foot, I know how that kind of goes. So she fell, you know, and I was like, as soon as I seen her in them socks, I was like, yeah, that was a mistake. And she definitely fell.

[AJ Holiday]

Doing. Watching Baddies, is that, like, your guilty pleasure?

[Tam Bam]

I watch Baddies on the stair climber. I only watch it on the stair climber. So that is my show of choice for the staircase. It's like, oh, it just keeps me stepping.

[AJ Holiday]

I cannot watch that whatsoever.

[Tam Bam]

I can only watch it on the stair climber. I feel like this season is better. There is a little bit more dialogue and not so much. No, not really. I'm lying. It's still Crash tv.

[AJ Holiday]

Did you watch Natalie Nunn on Cam Newton? Yeah. Podcast either. My niece was trying to tell me about it. Yeah, I care that much. Some of those episodes I've watched, it's just that. I don't know. Cam Newton is just. He's not himself. He's not being his true authentic self. And I think every episode with a smarter person is coming out more and more every time. He just need to be himself. I'm not gonna say on the mic what that is, but that nigga lacks confidence. You know, as big as he is, you know, he looks like a God in person.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, he is. He is a handsome man.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. Very much so. Big gigantic man at that.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

It seemed like he should have been playing basketball. Like, he almost too big to be had to have been playing football. He's huge.

[Tam Bam]

I remember seeing him, like, outside the club in, like, 2017 or something like that, and I was like, it looked like a statue. Statue just walked past me. He was beautiful. He was perfect. I don't like all them.

[AJ Holiday]

You ever seen the game in person?

[Tam Bam]

No. He's taller.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes, I. I mean, I have. This is years and years ago, but yes.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

That.

[AJ Holiday]

That's a nice specimen.

[Tam Bam]

The hell?

[AJ Holiday]

My mom would call them neck benders. Call them in neck benders.

[Tam Bam]

All right, what are we chatting about today? So we are going to talk about how being broke is expensive.

[AJ Holiday]

Tell me about it.

[Tam Bam]

Tell me about it. I really want to get into it. You know, it's the beginning of the year. Let's just talk about this money and how we ain't even gonna really get. Listen, just come back. I don't even want to tell you what we're gonna do. We'll be right back, y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Tam Bam]

All right, so being broke doesn't mean you spend less. It means everything costs more, so. Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Lay fees.

[Tam Bam]

Overdraft fees.

[AJ Holiday]

Girl, bank of America used to save my life, girl, back in the day. Okay, but you spending more money every month.

[Tam Bam]

First of all you gotta pay to pay for.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly.

[Tam Bam]

Like, why do I have to pay you to pay you make it make sense. You know how like you call. Like you call in and it's like $4 to pay for some pay your bill.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Like you're so you're making me pay a convenience fee so that you can actually get more transactions because you allow people to do car transactions over the phone. Why are you passing that service fee down to the customers? That's essentially what they doing.

[Tam Bam]

It should be illegal. Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

Maybe we can get that on the ballot.

[Tam Bam]

I do.

[AJ Holiday]

Listen, I. I hate feeling like I'm getting scammed. I hate feeling like I'm getting finessed. And them little 4.9 nines.

[Tam Bam]

Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

Every time.

[Tam Bam]

That made me so mad.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, Bill. And they add in $4.993. Right.

[Tam Bam]

That's some paying for. Like you being so tired. You don't work so hard all day and then now you need food. So you pay for. What is it called when your groceries are delivered?

[AJ Holiday]

You know, instacart and stuff like that.

[Tam Bam]

Instacart. Instacart fees.

[AJ Holiday]

You instacart.

[Tam Bam]

Girly.

[AJ Holiday]

You a doordash girly.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, doordash. Anytime I call with a complaint. Hello. Thank you. You're one of our VIP members of DoorDash.

[AJ Holiday]

Even doordashing. How many years have you.

[Tam Bam]

You need to. When doordash was established. Because I've been dashing since the doordash opened.

[AJ Holiday]

Hold on. When we get into this conversation, would you be able to log into your bank account and. And tell our listeners, like, how much you spent in the last 12 months on DoorDash?

[Tam Bam]

I do not want to do that. I do not want that statistic.

[AJ Holiday]

It's been a hundred dollars over overall doordash. Remember when the Solita. The old lady used to live with me? That's only. I used to doordash her food. Yeah, I meant. I mean, I. I probably. I'll say probably about 500. I'll say about 500 over a span of 14 months. I was sending food to my house when I wasn't there. Other than that.

[Tam Bam]

That was so kind.

[AJ Holiday]

First of all, I don't like people playing on my food anyway. I'm gonna go pick my up. Your food is never the same when you get it to go. And it's triple. Not the same when you get somebody to deliver your.

[Tam Bam]

After, it's just okay, it's convenient. But the fees that come along with it. Your burger, like if you order chick fil a meal for $12, you're paying 22 or 24 with the tip, you know, 25 just for a 12 meal. You know, you're paying damn near double. But I mean you're paying for convenience.

[AJ Holiday]

And I don't know if people know this because I actually used to do Instacart, like shop the groceries and deliver the groceries on the app. The price that you're paying for the items are like significantly higher than what they are on the shelf in the grocery store. So you, you playing paying inflation on the cost of your groceries plus the service fee, plus the delivery fee, plus the tip. Unless you're using exact that part. If you, unless you're using EBT is not worth it. And you wasting your EBT at this point.

[Tam Bam]

Right, because you paying extra for the item with your ebt.

[AJ Holiday]

Yep.

[Tam Bam]

And listen, sometimes them doordash be getting on my nerves too because I had this one girl I remember. All right, so I, during this time I was living in the high rise and I instacarted and it was just like I instacarted some, like a lunchable and some juice and I think it was like some Tylenol or something. I had a headache and the left it at the front desk. I live on the 24th floor. That means, I mean it's an elevator. But I don't. If I wanted to go get it, go downstairs, I could have just walked outside and got it. You know, at that point, I don't want to come out my house. That was the whole point. She left it at my, at the desk. So I was completely annoyed by that. And she told me to get my big back ass up and go downstairs.

[AJ Holiday]

That's what this woman put in app.

[Tam Bam]

And like her picture, her hair was like all fuzzy and she had like two little pieces standing up. I was like, you look like a roach on this picture. I refuse to argue with the insect that had me so tight. And I reported that. Did you go get your stuff? I definitely got my big backup. People who do those gig jobs or.

[AJ Holiday]

Like fast food workers, they don't give a. They're going to go work someplace else tomorrow. Like it's easy to do those things. So you can't be trying to mistreat them people.

[Tam Bam]

Man. Wasn't trying to mistreat her. I just wanted her to complete her job, you know. I said, it's not front desk dash, it's doordash. You didn't come to my door.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, but anyway, yeah, so basically interest, right? So like, like say for instance, you're you have a bad credit score, that's making bad payments. Everything your life is. Excuse me, not life insurance. Your car insurance is going to be higher. You're gonna have higher interest rates on loans. Yes, everything is higher.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. So. Yeah, you're right. The overdrafts, free late rent. You pay your rent late, your rent is more, you know, you got a late fee. Is that how that works? I don't. I've never had. I've never paid my lint rate, my rent late. Thank God.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, me either. So.

[Tam Bam]

So I feel like after all. Right, so I'm lying. My rent was always due on the first, and they. You have a. To the fifth as a grace period. I pay my rent on the 5th at 11. 59. 59 every month.

[AJ Holiday]

So ignorant.

[Tam Bam]

So I've never been.

[AJ Holiday]

Money coming out at some point. Pay that damn bill.

[Tam Bam]

It just hurt. It just hurt every month.

[AJ Holiday]

Wait till the last damn minute.

[Tam Bam]

I always waited till the 5th of every month to pay it. But it's never been a late, you know, a late payment. I've never paid on the six in my entire life. So I just don't know what that looks like. But I'm sure there's some fees attached to me. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

If you pay like say for instance, your rent is due on the 1st and you have a grace period to the what, 4th or 5th? If you do not make that payment by the 4th or 5th, you gonna have extra added on to your damn account. Essentially, you're gonna have a late payment. And if it keeps on being late, then you're gonna have an eviction notice.

[Tam Bam]

So wait, if you keep on being late but you pay, you'll still get evicted. As long as you pay it.

[AJ Holiday]

As long as you pay it at some point. Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

And then bad credit, you have a higher apr, like on a car or any type of loan, the APR is so much higher, so that makes it more expensive. But then how do you get your credit back together? Because now you have all these loans that are higher. It's just like a hamster on wheel.

[AJ Holiday]

File a police report. File a police report and report all that as fraud. That's what you do. That's, that's, that's in short, to clean your credit. Because y' all know you like, your credit is really not like it's really. It's not like a. A government agency. The credit bureaus.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

And really how your credit and your debt is tracked is by the addresses in which you've lived at. It's not really even tracked by Your Social Security number. So that's why when you're trying to repair your credit, you need to get rid of all them old ass addresses on your credit report first. Start there. You send in letters. You call the credit bureau, correct your mailing address, and then any debt attached to those addresses that you had removed. You then dispute that debt. You dispute that debt. That was like, say, for instance, you got a credit card that you didn't pay, and it's tied to whatever address. Columbia, South Carolina. You dispute the address first, and then a couple months later, you come back and dispute the credit card.

[Tam Bam]

Is. Is this fraud that you're teaching us or is this.

[AJ Holiday]

It's not fraud. It's just, you know, the, the problem is that the minute black people start.

[Tam Bam]

Learning about some, they're gonna change it.

[AJ Holiday]

Rules up on us every time. But credit is some. It's some. Like, we literally. Americans. Like debt is like. It's just.

[Tam Bam]

Is big business.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly. You know what I'm saying? And it's literally our culture. The whole country is in debt. So why the would you pay this credit card? The credit card companies ain't paying their credit card.

[Tam Bam]

America is in debt billions. And you want me to pay you? Every time I go to the hospital, I write down My address is 1600 Pennsylvania. See my bill right over there? All right, then. Okay. So then also trying to buy cheaper products to save money. And guess what happens with that? It ends up breaking. And then you got to buy it again. So you're not saving that way either. It says people with money pay once, people without money pay forever. You agree?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, absolutely, Absolutely. I guess once you. You just. You just need a little tiny bit of financial literacy and everything else to start making sense.

[Tam Bam]

Mm.

[AJ Holiday]

Like the way in which, like say, for instance, like black people, like we go buy a car and this is not all black people, but black people are more concerned about how much they're paying per month versus the apr. You might be paying this little bit of money per month, but you're paying it for 20 years. You see what I'm saying? Versus somebody who may have like a little bit higher interest rate, but they're paying it for a shorter, shorter period of time.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

So you got to. It has to. You have to look at the money in that way.

[Tam Bam]

Like the places like rent, about how much it is Rent a center and you paying $4,000 for a couch that's worth $1,000.

[AJ Holiday]

Because paying $50 a week for. Damn. A thousand weeks or some stupid shit.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Finance and furniture is like, you can build credit, you know, if you actually have the money to buy the furniture. But if you want to build your credit, that's one of the easiest things to get financed for some furniture. But I don't suggest financing things like that, like small ticket items. Like, why are you financing? Just buy a piece by piece.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Or maybe you don't even need it. Okay, maybe you don't even need it.

[Tam Bam]

Yep. All right. So stress changes how you spend. I deserve this spending. Like, you know, I had a hard week. I just deserve these Tom Ford shades. I just bought a $600 pair of eyeglasses.

[AJ Holiday]

Like that sometimes.

[Tam Bam]

But I do deserve that shit, though. I believe it, so fuck it.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, I deserve a new car right now. And I am actively looking, but I actually am working on trying to figure out what type of income can I, like, what kind of business or income I can create to then pay for that car I want. Yeah. Trying to use my current finances. Like, what can I. What can I create to pay for this thing?

[Tam Bam]

Let's get. Let's get on YouTube every week and create some YouTube dollars. That's what we need to do this year and pay for it. Emotional purchases. Do you ever buy anything emotionally, like.

[AJ Holiday]

You know what I'm saying? Because I'm not like a big. Like, I got some designer stuff, but that's not like my. That's not my. You know what I'm saying? Like, I make the clothes and the things, so I don't really buy anything. Like, I like spending money. It makes me feel good, though. But like, just buying big, large items.

[Tam Bam]

Well, it could be small stuff. Like when I'm having, like, if I'm like, somebody hurt my feelings or I'm sad about something or somebody died or what, you know, that's how addicts be.

[AJ Holiday]

They only need one reason to up.

[Tam Bam]

To go to Ulta or Sephora. And I just put my headphones in and I just be trying, you know.

[AJ Holiday]

Throw it in a bag and throw.

[Tam Bam]

It in the bag. So I'm definitely an emotional purchaser.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm more of emotional eater than purchase.

[Tam Bam]

I remember one time, this guy, the money we. We had. Yeah, I like, I'm that too. I remember one time this guy was supposed to meet me for lunch and he was like, so late. He was like, I'm just running behind. I left because I was upset and I went straight to Ulta and then he sent me 200 because I was at Ulta so I could buy everything buy because I was upset. Like, don't Leave me sitting in a restaurant, and now I'm hungry in Ulta, buying makeup instead of going to get myself some food. You're not bad with money. You're overwhelmed. I don't know. You might be bad with money, buying stupid shit.

[AJ Holiday]

I had to tell my nephew. So my nephew just went to college. He finished high school semester early, and my sister dropped him off this past weekend. Now, I know for a fact we went to his game a couple weeks ago. My mama gave him like five or six hundred dollars to buy Christmas gifts. He literally spent five or six hundred dollars on Christmas shit, knowing he got to go to college the next couple weeks, right? So he sends me a text message asking for $50. This is one week after getting his money. You text me for $50 for DoorDash, for food. And I sent the money, but I was on a conference call at the time, so I sent it. And then when I got off the call, I called him. I said, where the fuck is all that money your grandma gave you? He was like, I spent it on gifts. I said, let me tell you something. I said, your grandma is probably like. Probably like the best in the family when it comes to finances. The rest of us are horrible. What I'm trying to tell you now, I'm trying. I'm. I am better now, right? But I have my daddy's spending habits. My mama don't spend no fucking money. She's such a penny pincher. You cannot spend your last on bullshit. You could have maybe just bought your girlfriend something. Your parents wouldn't have gave a damn if you didn't get them nothing for Christmas. I promise. They know you broke, right? Okay, so now you going to school, you could have had that extra 6, $700 on top of whatever else, or.

[Tam Bam]

500 and spent 200 on gifts. It made it stretch, you know?

[AJ Holiday]

Like, what type of gifts did you buy? I get nothing. And here I am still putting my fucking money in the pot. I'm confused. And I told him, I said, listen, as long as I got it, you got it. But you gotta be more smart with your money. Like, you gonna be so broke in college, right?

[Tam Bam]

And that's normal, you know? That's normal. But you definitely got to be more considerate of yourself when it comes to the money that you have. In college especially. I remember when I first started seeing some real money that wasn't given to me, right? Because, you know, young girl. So I started that I was earning myself, and I. This is when I was living in Europe and I was making Money hand over fist, doing all the girls on base hair. And the money was coming so fast and I was like, I was working on the economy so I was charging pounds. My sew in was like $200, but it was. I, you know, I said 200 pounds, which converted to dollars. It was $2. I was making $400 or so in and I was just eating and I was doing like five or six in a day. I was pumping them sewings out. Like I saw the money was just so. It was like a sewing car wash in that I was like in and out, in and out.

[AJ Holiday]

And now I'm acting like a drug dealer.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I was paying for, I was funding friendship, I was funding vibes. I was like, we going out tonight? Don't worry about it. I got it and I don't worry about it. I got it. A lot of shit, if I could look back on it. I rented some shit called a land yacht for me and my friends to go. Literally a sprinter. That's what it was. It was a sprinter, a big ass sprinter, but they called it a land yacht. And it was so we could party in London and it's just like buying dumb ass and paying for a friendship even. Most of them, I don't even talk to them no more. So definitely paying for vibes. You get caught up with that. I wish I could have all that money back. And then when you getting money like that, especially as a young person, that you assume that this is just the rest of my life.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. You know how many times like when I was in my 20s, I just ran up on like 10 bands right quick. So many times. So many times. Like I'm supposed to have that money time. Like I. But at that time I didn't know how to work money. I. I wasn't financially like sound financial. I didn't have any financial literacy. For real. Like I never used to just spend, spend. I can hold on to the money for a while, but eventually it'll be gone, right? Because you're not really using the money. You're not making the money work, work for you. Working for the money.

[Tam Bam]

If I had to sit. You can't.

[AJ Holiday]

You can't dwell on the past, man. You'll make yourself sad as hell, man.

[Tam Bam]

Yep. I remember, I remember being some. I had got. I can't remember what kind of car I was driving, but it was a nice car. And it was like this man riding past me and I was like, how he even get like that? It was a old ass car he was in right and then I remember thinking about him when I was driving this old ass Ultima. I, I only had it for a little while, but I remember thinking about how I had judged that man for.

[AJ Holiday]

Having an old car.

[Tam Bam]

Like how what happens where you just ain't getting no money. That's how I was thinking as a young girl. And then I think it was like my car had ended up getting repossessed. And then I had to buy like a little cash car to hold me until I could get my credit right to go get me a new car. And I was driving like a old Altima and I thought about that man that I had judged that day for having a old car and ooh, humble pie, baby.

[AJ Holiday]

Humble cash car me. Because one thing I can't stand is a car payment. I have, I have had a brand new car once in life that I bought cash Hyundai Sonata for $25,000. Okay? I'm not trying to drop 25 bands on a car nowadays because now I know how I can use that 25 to make 50. But cash car me, I do not mind. Especially right now. Even used cars are. I went to go see a Mercedes over the weekend. That's one thing I did do. And I'm like, why would I spend $50,000 on a 2019 car, right? Because I, I, I can't get the brand new for a hundred something thousand, right? You know what I'm saying? Like to me it just doesn't, it just doesn't make sense. You know, you see the people on social media with the cars with the bowls and all that stuff. This, it doesn't make, it's not, it's not, it doesn't make sense.

[Tam Bam]

I can't lie. I love you. I was, that was last year. But I, and here's the thing, I least. So I'm paying toward a car that.

[AJ Holiday]

Is always a brand new car.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, yeah, but. And then I was in Lexus this past week trying to switch it out, you know, like. Because I just don't want the same thing for a long time. But I want me a G wagon.

[AJ Holiday]

Is not a bad girl. I'm nasty, okay? I love g wagon.

[Tam Bam]

That 20, 26g wagon look real good. Yeah, but girl, what you hear that baby? If you listen to this episode, I.

[AJ Holiday]

Don'T even about to play with my like that.

[Tam Bam]

I'm.

[AJ Holiday]

But one thing about it, he gonna try, he gonna try to get it. Do you think it's cheaper to uber around instead of having a car payment? Like I know in places like New York and like that.

[Tam Bam]

Not here, not here. Because you think about it at least especially you know, when in the country, miles are different, you know, and it's less Ubers if you're probably in a big city still, it's still not going to add up over 30 days. You gonna spend more than 500 or 600 in 30 days. Going back and forth to work, going, getting food. If you do any hanging out, that gonna add up. That's why I feel people sad for people who go into menial jobs and they got an Uber there every day. Because it's like, damn, how you can't even dig yourself. Yeah. You can't even get to work.

[AJ Holiday]

That's it.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. You can't even dig yourself. Yeah. And then it's just like, why even go. Just live off of Section 8 and Government Assistance at that point.

[AJ Holiday]

Damn. So when I was looking at the Mercedes, right, Because I want. I want a gle 63. I started then looking at used smaller like the cle, low mercedes or whatever to put on Toro to then pay for the car I want.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Because I can buy two of them, $7,000 a piece with a hundred thousand miles on it. That's what I mean by creating like some type of income to pay for what I actually want.

[Tam Bam]

But the only thing about once you get them cars with a hundred thousand miles on it is they start having problems, right.

[AJ Holiday]

At one driving it with it, having a problem. And it'll be like for local rentals, really, I'll put it like 300 miles.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. But when the problem happened, you got to pay to fix it.

[AJ Holiday]

I got a mechanic. Yeah, I got a mechanic, so. And I'm a mechanic. You know, I'm. I. I could do enough to keep running. So I'm gonna have some lemons out here. I think that is what I'm gonna going to do. Because it just doesn't make. It doesn't make any sense. And I saw a business model on Instagram where this guy, he wasn't even using Toro. He basically was given like Ren just had like a little small rental car service. Just like you would go to Thrifty or whoever. Right.

[Tam Bam]

But.

[AJ Holiday]

But for people who are doing like doordash and shit like that, who want to do doordash, he rent the cars to them doordash.

[Tam Bam]

Well, that was the hustle. That was a smart hustle.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. So you can get a couple like five of them going. You know what I'm saying? Just for people who do gig jobs, don't have a vehicle.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Or Who.

[AJ Holiday]

Whose car is fucked up right now instead of just, like, doing, like, Toro, it might. You might be charging them less per month to use a vehicle versus how much you could actually make on Turo. But you got five cars in rotation, five cash cars that you don't have a car payment on. You just paying insurance. And hopefully nobody gets an accident or hopefully it doesn't break down, right? Yeah, I can get 60, $100,000 right quick to buy what I want.

[Tam Bam]

Mm.

[AJ Holiday]

That's my thought process.

[Tam Bam]

Well, do it, girlfriend. I don't fuck with them cars because I know how to put gas in it. I can change a tire, but after that, don't ask me to do shit. I can change my tire, and I don't even know if I gas, and I don't want to do that. Come put the gas in it. So that's my. That's. That's the. The topic for the year. Turn your money into more money, friend. Don't just be spending it up. And don't buy dumbass like bags and shoes and stuff like that when you don't know how to you paint. Let me tell you something. The worst thing you can do is if you got, like. Especially if you got a man that's paying your bills. I'll give you an example from my life. I had this guy, you know, that I was seeing at the time, and he was. He paid my rent for, like, three or four years straight. And I was always. I had sense enough to save the rent money that I made. And because, like, one day, abruptly, the just stopped paying everything. It wasn't no beef. It wasn't no falling out. It wasn't nothing. He just.

[AJ Holiday]

Money got funny.

[Tam Bam]

He just stopped. Now, I've seen where women have had that same situation going on, and they depended solely on a man's income, and they were spending their money, you know, buying boots and bags and shoes and then ended up evicted from their apartment because they just wasn't anticipating that money drying up the way it did. So I know it's a bitch listening. Sorry. I know it's a woman listening right now who's living like that. Girl. Stop. You put that money. You make the same amount of money you would need for your bills and put it up. Don't be that girl.

[AJ Holiday]

Chicken head. Chicken head. And also, one thing I want to touch on before we get off the topic is, like, money in relationships, right? You ain't you in a relationship and still living even some people be married and still, like, have all their finances separate because you get with people. You realize, girl, hold on. Why the hell is she say, aj, You AJ Holiday, too.

[Tam Bam]

Look on the screen. Yeah, it was like that last week, too. I don't know why I got.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, like, in relationships. So like, some men, men complain about, you know, how much money, how expensive it is to be in a relationship, to date, to court, shit like that. Like, you end up spending all this little bit of money, and it should be adding up. Dating. If you date in multiple women, find one woman that actually likes you who, you know, gonna suck your dick at the end of the date. Stop dating multiple women, seeing who gonna get a coochie up at the.

[Tam Bam]

But I'm saying, how can you know.

[AJ Holiday]

For sure you know who likes you and who doesn't? Because usually it's the you don't like. Like who likes you. And you know for sure you getting some head at the end of the day. Stop dating multiple women, trying to see who gonna smash. And then you be mad because at the end of the week, your budget, you done went way over your. Your dating budget or whatever you want to call it.

[Tam Bam]

I was talking to Terry, and he was saying how he was to talking to this girl and he liked her or whatever, but then she asked him to buy her YSL bag, and he was like, I ain't got no problems buying stuff like that for a woman in his voice. I ain't see you with no YSL bag. Already. You wearing Michael Kors bags, and you don't have no ysl, so why you want me to buy you a ysl? I was like, nah, but it's okay to want to upgrade. Like, she want to be up, upgrade her. He was like, if you was happy with Michael Kors before me, I just feel like you should be. Also. Don't ask me to buy something that you ain't already getting for yourself.

[AJ Holiday]

Right? But you better get that.

[Tam Bam]

Coach.

[AJ Holiday]

Coach coming out with some real nice tabby.

[Tam Bam]

The tabby bags are cute.

[AJ Holiday]

I got one. I got the book bag.

[Tam Bam]

That is so. They are so cute. So I'm here for that. Oh, yeah. Start there. Don't just jump to the ysl. Start with a tabby asking for a tabby bag.

[AJ Holiday]

It's for baby mamas. But that little book bag is so functional. Okay. I love it.

[Tam Bam]

The little tabbies are really cute and. But I don't feel like very good.

[AJ Holiday]

Leather, first of all. Like, Coach got some of the better leather, first of all. It's very buttery. Yes, Very nice.

[Tam Bam]

It's very nice. So I get his Logic. But I also understand hers because.

[AJ Holiday]

But who is she to him? You see what I'm saying? Because the same way we value our coochie, these men's value their. So they're not about to just be splurging like, that's my. I'm buying a YSL bag for it. You know, you can't ask a regular working man for that type of. I mean, you can, right? But he may not be able to come.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, he may not be able to get it.

[AJ Holiday]

I come through, and it might fall him up. Now he think he, like, owns you because he got you that bag.

[Tam Bam]

And that's another. That's a whole nother topic. Because there's gratitude, equal obligation. I want to talk about that on the episode. For sure. Yeah. All right, I got. Listen, what were you gonna say? Because I was gonna take us to commercial.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh. I just was gonna go through these last. A few talking points.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, no, go ahead. Go ahead. Hit them. For you.

[AJ Holiday]

Supporting someone else's comfort, avoiding money conversations at all in relationships, because that's what you was. I was talking about, like, the money in relationships and how important it is. You are trying to build a future with somebody. Y' all got to talk about money at some point. You got to talk about credit scores, how much student loan. You know, women love to brag on them damn degrees, but we got way more debt than men for sure. Because a lot of figure it out. They are business owners with no debt.

[Tam Bam]

Mm. And that's beautiful.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, we got a corporate job making a hundred thousand dollars, but you got hella debt.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I don't have a lot of credit card debt, but I do have, like, student loans and hospital debt.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't have no hospital, but student loans for sure.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, Y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

Y' all gonna get the bare minimum until the day I die. If I around and run into a large lump sum of money, I might drop off a bunch of bags of nickels via UPS to Sally Mae.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Y' all don't want it.

[Tam Bam]

All dependies. All the pennies left in the United States because you know they done making them. Yeah, yeah. Y' all got that drop them off and dump truck.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, y' all doing it.

[Tam Bam]

They gonna take it. All right, so we're gonna go to commercial, but when we come back, guess what we got. I appreciate y' all because y' all are showing up with the dumb bitch stories in 2026, so I got one to share with y'. All. We'll be right back. All right, A.J. you want to read it.

[AJ Holiday]

I guess I can.

[Tam Bam]

Y' all got another 15 minutes.

[AJ Holiday]

Shut up. It says, hey, Tam and AJ. I'm already embarrassed.

[Tam Bam]

What?

[AJ Holiday]

You start off like that, I'm already embarrassed, so please be gentle. Or don't, because I probably deserve it. She goes on to say, I met this guy through a friend and we started hanging out.

[Tam Bam]

Heavy.

[AJ Holiday]

Not official, but we were together enough that people thought we were. He basically lived at my place, but still called it kicking it. Or just kicking it. He didn't have a car at the time, which I didn't think was a big deal. I was picking him up, dropping him off. Girl, not you. Picking up dick and dropping it off. Paying for her, paying for his Ubers. Oh, excuse me, paying for the Ubers. When we went out, he always said he'd get me back once he got situated.

[Tam Bam]

Situated.

[AJ Holiday]

I also started noticing my groceries disappearing faster than usual. Not just snacks, real food, meat, drinks. Stuff I know I didn't eat.

[Tam Bam]

Meat is crazy. Like this. Taking meat out your house, feeding somebody else.

[AJ Holiday]

Chad. One day I went to pay a bill and realized my account was lower than it should have been. I brush it off because I didn't want him to be. I didn't want his. I didn't want to seem dramatic. Then my car declined at the gas station, and I literally had to sit in my car and breathe. That night, I checked my statements and saw change and saw charges I didn't recognize. Small stuff. Food, places near his house. Girl, what gas stations I never go to. When I asked him about it, he said maybe my car was hacked while holding the phone I'd let him use to order food. After that, things got weird. He started sleeping over less, but still asking for favors, borrowing money, wanting rides, acting annoyed when I asked questions. The final straw was when he asked me to send him $100 for something important and then posted himself at brunch the next day. Cha, you a sugar mama.

[Tam Bam]

Yep.

[AJ Holiday]

I cut him off without a conversation, Period. That's the type of shit I like.

[Tam Bam]

Yep.

[AJ Holiday]

Cold turkey. I changed my cards, changed my locks, and then did the math.

[Tam Bam]

So change my locks. You had that nigga gave that nigga a key.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly. Yeah. He was slanging dick.

[Tam Bam]

Yep.

[AJ Holiday]

Between rides, food, missing money, and random expenses I covered just to keep the peace. I was out almost 700. I wonder, like, this was, like, one month or what, right? She said, I never got it back. He blocked me first.

[Tam Bam]

He blocked me first. Is crazy. When the money dried up, he was like, I don't even want no pussy.

[AJ Holiday]

Did you see that?

[Tam Bam]

Hold on.

[AJ Holiday]

I'll tell you about it.

[Tam Bam]

I snorted just now. Damn.

[AJ Holiday]

It says, I'm not even mad anymore, just tired. I learned that love doesn't have to be abusive to be expensive.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know what that mean.

[AJ Holiday]

You gotta get a black eye. I mean, that is expensive.

[Tam Bam]

Love doesn't have to be abusive. No. If you taking my money, that's abuse. I don't know what you're saying. That's. It's the meat for me. Imagine, yo, you put support chops in the freezer, and you come home and your tray of pork chops is gone. What the. You didn't even cook it here. Like you took it somewhere else.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, you gotta be careful with these, man, because they. Man, a broke man is a dangerous man. I'm telling you, okay? And broke is state of mind. This whole thing is about state of mind. You're not broke. You're in between blessings, okay? And when you get money, you don't ever say spend. You say circulate so you can come back.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

All right, Stop spending your money. It's not going to come back that way. Or you could say use. Because we use money. You don't let money use you.

[Tam Bam]

But you know what? I applaud you for having such a kind heart. And I pray that you encounter someone who appreciates that and reciprocates. So that's my prayer for you, for the 2026 girlfriend. Because I know girlies like this. I know girlies that, like, are the. There's givers and there's takers, you know.

[AJ Holiday]

And givers always attract takers.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. So you just have to have some discernment about who you let into your life. And I. I don't mind giving. I like, when I see that a man is willing to give to me, I'm willing to give, too, you know?

[AJ Holiday]

Yes, absolutely. But I'm always shocked when I gave somebody a coochie coupon. Never asked them for anything. And just one day out the blue, they might. This has happened to me before. Like, do I look like I give niggas money? Me, I'm always confused by that. Few times it happened, I'm like, do I look like a trick? Do I look like a lick? Is what I be wanting to figure I'd be trying to figure out. I know I don't look like a lick, but again, it's that Gemini. I made a feel comfortable to even put his guard down and put his pride to the side and ask me. I'm still Hurt your feelings.

[Tam Bam]

Listen, I don't. Even if. Especially if I. If they done for me, I don't mind helping if a.

[AJ Holiday]

But you never did anything. I never asked you for anything. Why are you fixing your mouth to ask me for anything?

[Tam Bam]

How did he get your car information? Like, how did he get that? Like, he was just too. Too comfortable with your money with that man. Because y' all wasn't even together. According to this story. Y' all wasn't together. You gave him a key. And see, all right, that's another thing. You have to establish titles. You have to have clear boundaries. That was not even your man. And he had a key to your. And your debit card. Stealing your pork chops out the freezer. Girl, Like, I am sorry. This is a lesson to be learned in your ear.

[AJ Holiday]

The ancestors is right there. That's not your. That's not. Every time you pass him the car under the table to pay in front of your friends, that's not your.

[Tam Bam]

That's not even your man.

[AJ Holiday]

Every time you was on Amazon looking for some. For him, you buying him some. Fashion over clothes. That's not your.

[Tam Bam]

That's not your neighbor. But you learned a valuable lesson. And we're not gonna keep making fun of you because we love you. We appreciate your dumbish story so much for sharing. And it's happened to the best of us, right? Yeah, Because I remember. I remember my dumbish story. My very first dumb bitch story about buying the. The shoes. And then I flew away. I flew back to England. As soon as I turned my phone back on, he was hugged up with a. On Facebook in the shoes I bought him. So. Girl, you ain't by yourself. I've been there. Okay? But I. But I never had no meat stolen. That's. I kept the meat.

[AJ Holiday]

A man stealing groceries out. Somebody refrigerated, like, just taking a pack here, a pack of steak, people going to notice as much as steak costs. Now I be looking at the prices in Costco when I go pick up my. My sea bass.

[Tam Bam]

As much to cook as it do to eat out now. So I get why he took it, but it's just kind of up.

[AJ Holiday]

Shame, shame, shame. But anyway, y' all being broke is very expensive, okay? More of the store, it costs even more. So get your finances in order. Go see a. A financial specialist. Most banks offer free services, right? If you just want to sit down with somebody and. And see what your options are, even if you're trying to pay off, put your car for collateral, get you a low interest rate, low loan and pay your off.

[Tam Bam]

But you got to pay that.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, you can. You. But it's, it's actually doable. It's just if you want to do it, you know, I'm saying you could pay off large sums of debt. And then also again, we live in a country where like, debt is our culture. Call them goddamn people and tell them you are experiencing super financial hardship and you just don't have it. You will be surprised how much of debt they will slice because they rather something than nothing. They rather not have to charge it off and never get the money right.

[Tam Bam]

And never get a penny.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, they'll take. They'll take a fraction. Got a $15,000 credit card. They might let you pay 8, they might let you pay 5.

[Tam Bam]

Give them something in payments.

[AJ Holiday]

So you just gotta open your mouth anyway, y'. All. If you enjoyed this episode, y' all tune in every Thursday on the Black Effect I Heart radio app or wherever the you get your podcast at. This is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagram. Kick it Tam, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All. It's official. Tam Bam on Instagram. Also follow We Talk Back podcast on Instagram. I love y'. All. Again, I can't tell y' all enough. I'm gonna tell y' all at least 51 more times this year that I love y'. All. Remember, speak now.

[AJ Holiday]

And hold your wallet.

[Tam Bam]

That for real.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay.

[Tam Bam]

This year, especially Deuces We Talk Back.

[AJ Holiday]

Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. This is an I heart podcast.

[Tam Bam]

Guaranteed human.