Podcast Summary: "Never Hold Your Gay" featuring Phillip Miller
Podcast Information:
- Title: We Talk Back
- Host/Author: The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts
- Description: Hosted by two unapologetically Black women, TamBam and AJ Holiday, "We Talk Back" navigates the complexities of femininity amidst discussions on sex, relationships, money, and personal growth. The podcast offers raw, unfiltered, and comedic repartee, providing thought-provoking conversations and non-professional guidance to its listeners.
- Episode: Never Hold Your Gay feat. Phillip Miller
- Release Date: August 14, 2025
Introduction and Personal Anecdotes (00:00 - 03:30)
The episode begins with a brief advertisement from State Farm, emphasizing career development and community impact. Hosts AJ Holiday and Tam Bam warmly greet their audience, sharing snippets of their weekends. AJ mentions spending her weekend indoors due to heavy rain, while Tam Bam recounts a brief trip to Atlanta to avoid sitting idle.
Notable Quote:
- AJ Holiday (02:51): "Clarissa Shields is so innocent. Why did I hear she was a virgin up until she started with Papoose? Is that true?"
Pop Culture Discussions: Clarissa Shields and Busta Rhymes (03:30 - 08:07)
The hosts delve into sports and entertainment, specifically discussing Clarissa Shields' potential fight with the retired champion, Layla Ali. They express skepticism about the fairness and practicality of the matchup, highlighting age and training disparities.
Transitioning to entertainment news, Tam Bam and AJ address the assault lawsuit against rapper Busta Rhymes by his former assistant. They critique Busta's behavior and public persona, linking it to broader issues of accountability among Black men in entertainment.
Notable Quote:
- Tam Bam (03:30): "No one ever wanted to fight old ass guys back in the day. Now suddenly, you want to fight a woman 20 years older than you. It's crazy."
Incident at WNBA Game (12:23 - 14:58)
The conversation shifts to a bizarre incident at a WNBA game where a sex toy was thrown, injuring a 12-year-old girl. The hosts critique the individual's intentions, questioning how such actions went unnoticed by security.
Notable Quote:
- AJ Holiday (13:13): "Who pays for tickets to go to a game to do something this stupid?"
Introducing Guest Philip Miller (19:00 - 22:17)
Tam Bam introduces Phillip Miller, the CEO and owner of "Everybody Needs a Feel," a consulting company focused on fundraising and supporting nonprofits. They set the stage for a deep dive into discussions about being Black and gay, highlighting the relevance during Pride Month.
Notable Quote:
- Tam Bam (19:00): "We're talking all things gay and Black. We have a lot of questions and need answers, and there's nobody better to talk to than Phil."
Main Discussion: Black and Gay Identity (22:17 - 58:17)
Understanding LGBTQIA+ Terminology (22:24 - 41:03)
Phillip Miller educates the hosts on various terms within the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, explaining the nuances between "gay," "queer," and "bisexual." The conversation emphasizes respect for individual identities and the importance of flexibility in self-identification.
Notable Quotes:
- Phillip Miller (39:43): "Queer is designed to be more vague in general. It allows a little bit more freedom and flexibility."
- Tam Bam (41:02): "I just try to wrap my mind around what exactly queer means so I can understand and respect it."
Challenges Faced by Black Gay Men (41:03 - 57:34)
The discussion delves into the societal challenges Black gay men encounter, including stereotypes and misconceptions. Phillip highlights the importance of community support and personal authenticity, sharing his experiences from the military and his journey to acceptance.
Notable Quotes:
- Phillip Miller (54:21): "I'm super Black first. I was born Black before I knew what gay was."
- AJ Holiday (56:19): "Why is car insurance so high? Yesterday's lady was like, 'You could do auto pay,' and I was like, 'No, I'm not that responsible.'"
Safe Spaces and Coming Out (58:17 - 73:38)
Phillip discusses the significance of safe spaces like Black barbershops for open dialogue and support among Black gay men. He shares personal anecdotes about coming out, the reactions from his family, and the importance of timing and self-confidence in the process.
Notable Quotes:
- Phillip Miller (62:02): "Don't rush it. Do it for yourself, not for the satisfaction of others."
- Tam Bam (65:13): "I was wearing hats and they accused me of being gay. My grandma would laugh behind my back."
Relationships and Integrity (73:38 - 78:36)
The hosts explore the dynamics of relationships involving Black gay men, addressing themes of honesty, integrity, and societal expectations. They discuss the stigma surrounding past relationships and the importance of transparency.
Notable Quotes:
- AJ Holiday (78:07): "Do something nice for someone instead of trying to go viral."
- Philip Miller (77:45): "If you're willing to support me, I'm ready for that. If not, move on."
Closing Remarks and Sponsor Message (78:36 - End)
As the episode wraps up, the hosts engage in a light-hearted segment, taking a symbolic shot sponsored by Red Libre, a female Black-owned tequila brand. They reiterate their commitment to fostering open dialogue and encourage listeners to continue engaging with their content.
Notable Quote:
- Tam Bam (79:07): "Remember, speak now and never hold your gay. Bye."
Key Takeaways:
- Intersectionality: The episode emphasizes the unique challenges and strengths of identifying as both Black and gay, highlighting the importance of embracing multiple facets of one's identity.
- Terminology and Respect: Understanding and respecting LGBTQIA+ terminology is crucial for fostering inclusive conversations and environments.
- Safe Spaces: Establishing and utilizing safe spaces, such as Black barbershops, can significantly support Black gay men in their personal and professional lives.
- Authenticity: Embracing one's true self and maintaining integrity in relationships and personal endeavors are central themes discussed by the hosts and their guest.
- Community Support: Building a supportive community is essential for personal growth and overcoming societal challenges.
Final Thoughts: "Never Hold Your Gay" offers an insightful exploration into the lives of Black gay men, blending personal anecdotes with broader societal discussions. Phillip Miller's contributions provide depth and perspective, fostering a meaningful conversation aimed at understanding and empowerment.