We Talk Back

Episode: "Peri Who?" feat. Dr. Kelly Elmore

Hosts: TamBam & AJ
Guest: Dr. Kelly Elmore (OBGYN, founder of KOE Medical Consulting)
Date: November 13, 2025

Overview

This episode centers on demystifying perimenopause and menopause—key stages in women’s health that are often misunderstood or discussed behind closed doors. With the expertise of Dr. Kelly Elmore, a board-certified OB/GYN, the hosts deconstruct myths, share relatable laughs, and provide practical advice on thriving through “the change.” The conversation blends medical science, real talk, lifestyle tips, and the hosts' trademark humor, aiming to empower Black women (and all listeners) to embrace this life phase with knowledge and confidence.

Key Topics & Discussion Highlights

1. Candid Banter & Hot Takes (03:42–19:55)

• Weekend Catch-Up:
  AJ and TamBam kick off with comedic recaps of their weekends, setting the episode’s lively tone.

  • “You always lie!” – Dr. Kelly (05:25)
  • “I’m not a bread pudding girly girl. I never had bread pudding, now that I think about it.” – TamBam (06:22)

• Cultural Commentary:

  • Paul Pierce’s advice to ‘test’ a woman’s love by cheating on her sparks fiery debate.
    • “Don’t test me, cuz. You gonna fail every time.” – AJ (08:53)
    • “That is so toxic. So basically, you want to hurt the person you say you love… that’s weird.” – TamBam (09:36)

• Viral News:

  • A wanted man in Ohio sends police a new selfie to replace an unflattering mug shot.
    • “In the photo y’all…the photo that he sent is much better. It’s a better angle.” – TamBam (12:45)

• Social Issues:

  • Discussion about trans women in women’s spaces, sparked by a news topic about gym locker rooms, opens up complexities around gender, safety, and societal definitions.

2. Introducing Dr. Kelly Elmore – Women’s Wellness Advocate (20:04–21:20)

• Personal Journey:
  • Dr. Kelly describes her calling to medicine, early fascination with OB/GYN, and desire to be a safe space for women, especially as a first-gen college grad with personal ties to women’s health and domestic violence.
    • “I was called to the pulpit of medicine very early…when I was a little girl, something told me in my spirit that I wanted to be a physician.” – Dr. Kelly (21:33)

3. Debunking Myths: Menopause & Perimenopause 101 (22:44–25:02)

• Hormone Therapy Misconceptions:

  • Dr. Kelly explains the evolving FDA black box warning, clarifying that hormone replacement is NOT always dangerous or off-limits (22:55).

• Definitions and Symptoms:

  • Menopause: 12 consecutive months without menstruation due to declining hormones.
  • Perimenopause: The transition phase (5–10 years prior) marked by hormonal fluctuations; symptoms abound even before periods stop.
    • “There are more than 50 symptoms associated with having that drop in your estrogen, progesterone and testosterone.” – Dr. Kelly (23:52–25:02)

4. Real Talk: Experiencing the Change (26:27–32:56)

• Physical & Emotional Changes:

  • Acne, sleep disturbances, mood swings, joint pain, libido changes, midsection weight gain, brain fog, and hot flashes are all possible.

• Personalization Is Key:

  • Not every woman’s journey is the same; medical history, stress, and lifestyle play roles.

• Sexual Wellness:

  • “If you don't use it, you will lose it.” – Dr. Kelly (29:03)
  • Discussion of vaginal dryness, moisturizers, and local estrogen solutions.

• Men's vs. Women's Sexual Health:

  • Limited awareness of women-specific libido medications; strides are being made but need more advocacy (30:04–31:22).

5. Hysterectomies, Early Menopause, and Family History (31:22–34:40)

• Clarity on reproductive surgeries and their distinct impacts:
  • Removal of the uterus (hysterectomy) vs. ovaries (oophorectomy).
  • Surgical menopause is immediate if ovaries are removed.
  • Medical menopause can result from cancer treatments (34:40–35:23).

6. Black Women’s Unique Experiences (36:18–37:46)

• Stress & Early Onset:
  • Black women typically enter menopause 8–12 months earlier than white counterparts, much of it attributed to chronic stress and systemic inequities.
    • “Financial responsibilities, the mental and emotional responsibilities that we carry—more than most people do.” – Dr. Kelly (36:36)

7. Lifestyle Strategies for Thriving (37:59–43:06)

• Fitness:
  • “Your metabolism is slowing down...increase your strength exercises, add resistance bands, do what fits.” – Dr. Kelly (37:59–39:51)
  • Hosts discuss struggles with consistency, finding joy and community support.

8. Perimenopause Awareness — Why So Quiet? (43:06–44:19)

• Dr. Kelly explains lack of mainstream discussion due to outdated medical fears and generational gaps. Contemporary culture is revisiting these conversations as women seek more knowledge on symptoms and management.

9. Symptom Deep-Dive & Common Misunderstandings (44:19–48:19)

• Beyond hot flashes, symptoms can include heart palpitations, anxiety, unexplained weight gain (“menobelly”), and joint pain.

  • “Mood swings are huge…but we have to figure out, is this depression…or is this perimenopause?” – Dr. Kelly (45:25)

• Differences between PMS, perimenopause, and menopause are clarified; importance of paying attention to change and seeing a doctor if post-menopausal bleeding returns.

10. Fibroids, Food, and Black Women’s Health (48:51–51:15)

• Fibroid Risks:
  • Black women are more afflicted; stress and diet are key contributors.
• Dietary Tips:
  • Reduce fried foods, sodium (go easy on the seasoning salt!), focus on “the Viva Life 5.”
    • “If you do it more than 90% of the time…you’re going to be so much better off…” – Dr. Kelly (51:31)

11. The Viva Life 5 & Holistic Health (51:52–54:43)

• Viva Life 5 Guidance:

  • Eat fruits, vegetables, nuts, grains, beans; high-quality protein; optimize spirit, mind, body, sleep, and finances.
  • Moderation in meat and alcohol; excessive drinking will worsen symptoms.

• Holistic vs. Pharmaceutical:

  • Dr. Kelly supports a combined and transparent approach; shares use of herbal remedies like maca and fenugreek, but urges communication with providers (59:53–61:47).

12. Sex, Sleep & Embracing This Season (61:56–66:05)

• Many women experience a spike in their sex drive during perimenopause due to hormonal fluctuations—a “second puberty.”
• Sleep is crucial: “There is nothing wrong with sleeping!”
  • “If you’re feeling hot and horny, I think it’s okay!” – Dr. Kelly (64:23)
• Track cycles and symptoms beyond just periods.

13. Intergenerational Conversations (66:05–67:49)

• Dr. Kelly advocates open dialogue between mothers and daughters about menstruation, perimenopause, and menopause—knowledge is power.

14. Dr. Kelly’s Work & How to Connect (67:49–70:14)

• KOE Medical Consulting and Viva Life 5 offer education, personalized coaching, webinars, and corporate health equity workshops.
• Website: drkellyomd.com

15. Dumb Story Segment (70:38–75:39)

• Dr. Kelly shares a “dumb story” from college—getting stood up for a date (and never letting it happen twice) and another about a risky business investment.
  • “Be very careful about your investments…open the books!” – Dr. Kelly (74:04)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If you don’t use it, you will lose it.” – Dr. Kelly (29:03)
• “Black women go through menopause about eight months to a year earlier…that is associated with the amount of stress and weight we carry.” – Dr. Kelly (36:32)
• “Mood swings are huge, but we have to figure out, is this depression…or is this perimenopause?” – Dr. Kelly (45:25)
• “There are medications for women that help them improve their libido—they’re just not talked about as much.” – Dr. Kelly (30:21)
• “This can be the best time of your life as well—period.” – Dr. Kelly (70:08)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Female sexuality & menopause myths: 22:44–25:02
• Symptoms of (peri)menopause: 26:27–32:56, 44:19–48:19
• Hormone therapy – risks & access: 22:55, 28:41–29:03
• Black women’s earlier menopause and why: 36:18–37:46
• Fitness and nutrition for midlife health: 37:59–43:06, 51:15
• Holistic supplements: 58:38–61:47
• Dr. Kelly’s “dumb stories”: 70:38–75:39
• Dr. Kelly’s platforms & resources: 67:49–70:14, 75:48

Takeaways & Advice

• Don’t fear “the change”—get educated and proactive.
• Track your symptoms and family health history.
• Talk to healthcare providers about ALL options—both holistic and medical.
• Adopt “the Viva Life 5” for physical and emotional well-being.
• Keep the sex life alive—moisture, desire, happiness are all worth advocating for!
• Join supportive communities like Viva Life 5 for guidance and accountability.

How to Connect

• Dr. Kelly Elmore: drkellyomd.com | Instagram: @doctorKellyomd
• Hosts: @officialtambam & @ajholiday2.0 on Instagram
• Podcast: @wetalkbackpodcast

Final Words

Perimenopause and menopause are normal, natural, and survivable. “Do not be afraid of the change. ... It can be the best time of your life as well—period.” (Dr. Kelly, 70:08)