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- [00:01]
Cassandra
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- [00:40]
Interviewer
It was just a really long drive.
- [00:44]
Cassandra
At participating McDonald's. My name's Cassandra and I live in New Mexico. I'm a realtor and I am telling my story of how I've had an anonymous stalker for four years and he ended up trying to date me. I guess we can start when I moved into Hobbs. So I grew up in Hobbs, the little town in New Mexico I'm from, but I moved there in March of 2020. I ended up moving back home from El Paso. I was living there, my mom got sick with cancer and so I moved home, wanting to kind of just help her out. And so at that time, Covid hit, it was like a really awkward period because I was a restaurant manager. So I had, you know, the idea that I could just move back home, get another job, help my mom out. That didn't happen. We were all shut. So I was like, well, I guess I could do real estate. That's a way for me to make some money. I'd always kind of been interested in it. So I ended up pursuing my license and getting licensed in October of 2020 and starting with a brokerage. And so pretty much if you're a realtor, you're putting yourself out there, posting online, showing yourself, trying to bring in business, you know, drawing people into you. And so it didn't take long. But In February of 20 is when I started getting text messages from a person who I didn't know who it was. The first message I got, it's always centered around real estate. So they told me that they were interested in buying a townhome, that they had gotten a large sum of money from their parents and they had a loan and they would like for me to help them, but they were also interested in me. After seeing my Facebook post, they found me attractive and they asked if I would have sex with them.
- [02:38]
Interviewer
So this was all in the first text that they sent you?
- [02:41]
Cassandra
Yeah. And so, you know, unfortunately, as a woman, that's really not that uncommon. Right, right. Harassment.
- [02:50]
Interviewer
You would just think it would be a little bit more, like, gradual.
- [02:54]
Cassandra
Well, maybe. Right. But. And I guess that's the thing, too, is that I feel like. Well, I kind of thought it was somebody messing with me, playing a joke on me or something. Right. At that time, I didn't have, like, an app to reverse look up phone numbers, but I did ask the other realtors if they would, and they said, hey, it didn't come up to anybody. So this is, like, a fake number, pretty much an anonymous number. So it's not an actual person using it from their direct phone line. So I knew then that somebody was maybe messing with me, but I didn't really think too much of it. You kind of just move on. You ignore it. You know what I mean?
- [03:27]
Interviewer
So did you respond at all to that, or.
- [03:28]
Cassandra
No, I don't think I did.
- [03:30]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [03:30]
Cassandra
I don't think I even texted back on that one. So that was like. I think that was, like, the beginning of February. A couple weeks passed, not even that long, and I got another anonymous message, and it was somebody saying that their name was Robert. And he was like, hi, my name is Robert. Do you remember me? And I was like, how do I know you, Robert? And he's like, we're Facebook friends. And immediately I was like, this is kind of feeling weird again. And I told him, I don't have any Facebook friends named Robert. And he told me that he needed to talk to somebody because he felt like killing himself. He said that he was upset and that he. His wife had cheated on him with his best friend and that he just needed somebody to talk to. And so immediately I was like, what is. What is this? Like, what is going on here? So I told him, call 911. Like, I really didn't even know what to respond to that honestly. But me, I am kind of like a caring person, so I didn't think it was the same person. Immediately I thought maybe it was, like, somebody weird from Facebook telling me too many of their problems or something like that. So he ended up saying that he just needed somebody kind of, like, he didn't say me, but he said, like, I wanted to talk to you, Cassandra. I wanted to talk to you. I need. I want to talk to somebody who understands me, who loves me, who will be there for me. And I just did not text him anymore after that. That was a. A really big red flag to me to get, like, a message from somebody that emotional saying those Types of things. And the messages were weird, too, because I couldn't tell if he was serious or messing with me. Obviously it was a little both, but he would put like, cry, cry, cry in all caps. Like, just very weird messaging. So when I received that one, I, of course, checked to see if it came back to a number. It didn't. So I made a police report at that point. I just.
- [05:39]
Interviewer
How far apart was the first message?
- [05:41]
Cassandra
Maybe a couple weeks.
- [05:42]
Interviewer
Okay. So it was pretty recent.
- [05:43]
Cassandra
Pretty recent, yeah. So I made a police report online with the text messages and the. The phone numbers associated with them. And I put that they were anonymous, that it didn't really go back to a number. I think maybe a police officer contacted me about it, but since they. It was anonymous, they couldn't do anything about it, so kind of left it at that. From that point, I think it was like, maybe just a couple. Like, in March, I started getting phone calls, no caller id. And on those phone calls, sometimes they would say things, but what I would hear is them masturbating on the phone. And at first I was like, what is this sound? But it was the slapping. It was very distinct. And so they would be masturbating on the phone. And that was very disgusting and shocking. There was once where. And as this is going on, you know, you go to the police, they're saying they can't help you. So what do you do at that point? Right? You kind of just endure. You learn. I would actually Google, like, stalkers, like, to kind of see what information was out there about it. A lot of the times they tell you, do not interact with the person. So I would definitely try to not interact with him, but he was reaching out so much. If it wasn't no caller id, sometimes he would just use, like, the fake number, and I would, you know, accidentally answer it, thinking it could be a customer.
- [07:16]
Interviewer
Right.
- [07:16]
Cassandra
I mean, when you're in sales, there's not a day you can take off, like, you know what I mean? Especially being a single woman, I don't have, like, somebody to help me support that income. So I'm always looking for work. And I do think that he. They do take advantage of things like that, especially for realtors. Right. Because we, for the most part, we don't always work with people we know. So those phone calls started coming in along with still the weird messages. I would still get the weird text messages from him. So that went on for about, like, another year. And I think I made another police report because I was going to lunch with my dad one time, and he happened to call the no caller ID number. So I did answer, and he was master. So I told my dad, listen, do you hear this? What does it sound like to you? And he was like, that's not what it is, Cass. That. It can't be that. And I was like, dad, what else would it be? And so we kind of left it at that. We went to lunch, whatever. The next morning, he called me, and he was like, something's not right. No. Nobody in their right mind would do something like that. You need to make another police report. So I did. I made another police report. Of course, he said, well, whenever you figure out who it is, you know, you can put a restraining order. You can do something like that, but until you know, we really can't do anything because these numbers are anonymous. And so I kind of just left it that.
- [08:40]
Interviewer
So, quick question. At this point, did you feel any fear for your safety?
- [08:44]
Cassandra
I was starting to.
- [08:46]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [08:49]
Cassandra
A little bit. I'll be honest with you. I did not really realize that because I. I just felt like maybe it was somebody online. Yeah, I felt like it was somebody online. Maybe your number is public. So you know what I mean?
- [09:04]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [09:06]
Cassandra
So I can't say that I thought it was somebody, like, close to me. I. And I think maybe that's why.
- [09:14]
Interviewer
I.
- [09:16]
Cassandra
I kind of just existed with all this happening to me, you know? And so. And it was because I did not. The police always ask me, well, who do you think it is? Who have you been involved with? Who's your ex? And I would tell them, I don't have an ex. Like, I didn't date anyone in town. There was nobody who, like, showed me a lot of attention or interest or anything. So there was nobody in my mind who could have been my stalker. So truly, it was an anonymous person to me. There was not even one person. I even had, like, an inkling that it could be them. So then in the following summer, I was still dealing with the harassment. But I will say that his behavior, sometimes it'll. He'll be bothering me, and then sometimes I won't hear from him for months. I mean, it'll just go silent right to where I feel like, oh, maybe he's gonna leave me alone or something. But he never does. He'll just pop back up again. So the next summer is when I got some really horrible text messages. So again, it started a note. It started as somebody pretending to be my client. So they said that. They said, hey, Cassandra, I. They basically said that they liked looking at my ass when I showed them a property and that they wanted to put in an offer, but they weren't sure if they were still going to be able to work with me after them telling me that. And so I knew that it was not a customer of mine. There was nobody that I had been showing properties to recently that was anyone who I thought could have been the stalker. And at that time, I didn't even know it was a stalker. I still just thought it was somebody maybe sick in the head, but not. I didn't really think that they were stalking me. I thought that they were just messing with me. I guess I was just kind of naive about it. So he told me that and I, I think I told him, like, who, who is this? Because at that point I was getting really frustrated with like who is this person? Not leave me alone. And he told me like, what did I get myself into? And he said, there's just one woman that every man has and that one woman is you. And I would give my left nut to see you in red panties. Hi guys.
- [11:32]
Interviewer
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- [12:58]
Cassandra
And now back to the episode and that freaked me out. So I told him if you're One of my customers. Why don't I have your number? Because I knew it wasn't one of my customers. And he told me, quit being toxic. I want to marry you and have your babies. And I told him, do not contact me anymore. Because that was. It was, like, all over the place. Like, this guy is in the head messed up. And so the next text he sent me was that he could rape me whenever he wanted, that he could rape me at an open house. He could technically call for a showing and rape me as many times as he wants. That I could contact the authorities, that I have no control, and that I'm either gonna let him taste my pussy or he's gonna stalk me and take it from me on the down low. And so that is when, like, everything came down on me. That is when I realized that I do have a stalker. I have somebody who wants to hurt me and who will try to hurt me. Of course, I went and made a police report, took that to them. They were shocked. They were immediately was like, who is this person that's messing with you? And I told them, I do not know who this person is. I'm scared. I. I think this person's gonna hurt me. And they said, well, until we. Until you know who this could be, there's nothing we can do to help you. Whenever you figure it out, you can get a restraining order.
- [14:29]
Interviewer
Do you think at this point you had actually shown this person a house, or you don't think so?
- [14:34]
Cassandra
I still don't at that point, no.
- [14:36]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [14:36]
Cassandra
I still didn't think that I had any contact with them.
- [14:39]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [14:41]
Cassandra
Before that, I think maybe like, a couple months before that, I had gotten messages from him while I was at my old broke brokerage. And it was crazy because he literally was like, and you're there with Karina. And that is literally the person I was standing next to. And I don't even remember seeing anybody in the office that day that wasn't somebody who worked with us. So it even got me thinking that it was a man in my office. You know what I mean? At one point, I even thought it maybe was the admin messing with me. Like, it just made me think so many people it could have been that I really was so lost with who this person might have been because he was just messing with me in so many different ways. So after he told me that, that's when, of course, like, I couldn't. I. I wasn't going on showings anymore by myself. I couldn't work with men, really. Like, I wanted to anymore because I was afraid that it could be one of them. That's when I really had like started putting up the boundaries, the walls and everything because I was even starting to get afraid to have just regular guys approach me anymore because I did not know who this person was. And I was getting obviously really scared. I can't imagine somebody texting somebody saying, I'm going to rape you and stalk you and take it from you, you know. So the cops did put a watch over my house at that point. So they did try, you know, to do something for me at least. But yeah, they couldn't really. I guess at that point it didn't make sense to even try to look at phone records or anything like that. So basically after that, I just kind of kept living life, but just knowing that, yeah, I do have somebody who's trying to hurt me. During that time, there was one phone number that when you would look it up on Google, because the same thing would happen. He would go silent for a few months and then he would hit me up again in with no caller IDs, with texts, you know, saying dirty stuff, pretending to be a customer, calling, pretending to look for real estate. So he had done that. And he, he was a Hispanic male. His voice was Hispanic, I could tell. And he didn't sound older. He sounded like somebody maybe close to my age, a younger dude or something. And so one time he had called me and I happened to look up that number. And for whatever reason, this number is associated online, I think the websites called telos, but it's where you can report harassment. And so that phone Number has like 30 reports of realtors from all over the country that have said that this man has harassed them. Whomever this man is, he's been harassing them, he calls them, he masturbates on the phone.
- [17:38]
Interviewer
So this, and this was on the website that it said that.
- [17:41]
Cassandra
Wow, okay, so this person. It's not. And that's one thing I always thought of. If this person is messing with me like this online, he has to be messing with more people. That's another thing is that I always reached out to all the other female realtors. Are you having these issues? Are you being contacted by anonymous numbers? Are you having no caller IDs call you? Nobody. Nobody said that they were. I work in an association that has like 150 realtors, majority of them women. So that was. To me, it's upsetting because it really scares me to know that this man is so focused on me in that way. It scares me because when he said that I am the one woman for him, I don't want that to be true. You know what I mean?
- [18:28]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [18:30]
Cassandra
So that the website that said all those reports, I mean, even up until I think at that time when I and I have one report on there, I went ahead and put my report on there and I think that was back in 22. And even up until I think I looked at it Today, up until September 23rd, there's even more posts afterwards. And he's always giving random names, Hispanic type names, but he's even started FaceTiming. So what he does is he'll ask these realtors for showing, saying that he's trying to move into the area and so they're going to these properties showing him and he doesn't show up on the camera at first. So it kind of makes him weary, like what's going on. And then when he shows up, he'll show up masturbating.
- [19:15]
Interviewer
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- [19:45]
Cassandra
I think you're on mute. Workday starting to sound the same. I think you're on mute. Find something that sounds better for your career on LinkedIn. With LinkedIn job collections, you can browse curated collections by relevant industries and benefits like Flexpto or hybrid workplaces, so you can find the right job for you. Get started@LinkedIn.com jobs finding where you fit. LinkedIn knows how. I think sometimes he shows his face, sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he's in bed. Really creepy stuff. Really sick, sick stuff. So found that out and just really had no resources or anyone to turn to because the police are not very helpful in these types of cases. There's not a lot of resources they have, I will say that. You know, and there's really nobody to investigate at that point either. So just I got my concealed carry license. I mean, I tried to do what I could to make sure that I stayed safe, especially in the job that I had, but kind of just move forward and keep living. So that was in 22 and for the next couple years, same thing. Right. I would just hear from him every now and then. The harassment there was One time where he sent me pornographic images. When he, when he calls and I would answer, he got smart. He realized that I was not answering the no caller ID anymore. So he wasn't able to reach me that way. So he started again going back to just, just calling me off of the fake numbers. I would answer. He would like, tell me what type of positions he would want to have me in. Like just really disgusting things. And it got to a point to where like when he would call me. It's just really hard to move or move forward with your life when you know that you have somebody like that who is in your life. It actually became like a little fun fact about me. Like when people would meet me and they'd ask like, what's a fun fact about you? I'd tell them I have a stalker. Because it was just like an everyday part of my life and it was, it was not something that I could just put on the back burner. Like it was. It's a problem I face every single day. And I don't think people realize that, that, you know, they see me, they see me going through life and moving forward, but they don't see that I am still struggling with this person. Whether, whether I knew who they were or not. They're still messing with me. They're still changing who I am as a person. Emotionally. I'm not the same anymore. My relationships that I have with others are not the same anymore because it's changed me a lot is who I am as a person. I haven't dated in the last four, four or five years because of this. All these events that have happened to me as well. And I definitely don't feel sorry for. But it is a fact that it has changed me.
- [22:53]
Interviewer
And it's scary.
- [22:54]
Cassandra
It's very scary. Yeah.
- [22:56]
Interviewer
And I think too like, like you were mentioning with the police, unfortunately they don't. I really don't think that they have the resources or even the knowledge to know what to do in stalker type situations. Like, unless it's somebody, I feel like showing up at your door constantly. It's. I feel like when it comes to these online or these over the phone situations, they are like lost on what to do.
- [23:19]
Cassandra
Yeah. And it's really, you know, of course, being a victim, I get frustrated with law enforcement and everything. But at the same time, I do understand that they can't just go out there and be accusing anyone and everyone. I do understand that they have to have clues so they can look through the leads and everything like that. And I will Say that if you're thinking about getting into real estate, you should be aware that there's a ton of people like this out there and that you. You should do your utmost to protect yourself from these types of individuals. I think people see Realtors and they think that it's just a pretty face selling a home. And you have to be smarter than that. You really, really do.
- [24:02]
Interviewer
Yeah, that's what I was going to ask you. I was going to say, why do you think it is that Realtors are dealing with that more?
- [24:09]
Cassandra
I think it's the way we. We put ourselves out there online. That's. That's one thing that the national association of Realtors, they usually do have safety courses for us to take. And it's. It is beneficial because we, of course, want to seem very open and friendly so that we can attract the business. But at the same time, we're also allowing people to feel that they are given permission to give us that type of attention because we're saying, oh, we're here for you. We're here to serve you. We're here to make your dreams happen. You know what I mean? And the wrong personality can take that and think that that's an invitation for them to. To become. Get into your life one way or another.
- [24:59]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [24:59]
Cassandra
You know what I mean? And so I do recognize that. I think I still. I mean, I try to present myself very professionally because of that. I've even. It's even made me more aware of, like, how I dress and how I put myself out there, because I don't want that type of attention. Oh, man. I've gotten myself into a lot of bad, like, altercations, honestly, because I've really become almost a bitch, to be honest with you. And it has hurt my real estate career. There's a lot of times where, you know, I feel horrible. I really, really do. This is one thing that I will have to change about me is that I became very distrusting of men in general. So because I had this stalker, I feel like I felt like all men were evil because I was like, the potential of men to be evil is there. I know it, because I have a stalker.
- [26:00]
Interviewer
Do you think that's why you didn't really have an interest in dating 100?
- [26:05]
Cassandra
Yeah, I really. It was just. That was my biggest fear is my stalker trying to date me and me not knowing. And so, yeah, I just. It's like a fine line you have to walk. Right? Because I do want to have this big personality that people can relate to, that people can be Attracted to. But at the same time, I know I have this issue with this stalker. And the more I put myself out there, he's watching even this, you know. You know, I have to be aware that he's going to watch this and he's probably going to take it in a totally different way than the way I'm putting it out here, you know. And that's just part of my reality. And that I think that's the craziest part that I've come to terms with is this is my life. What I'm living through right now is my life. And I would have never, ever thought that I would have something happen to me like this, that would even bring me on a podcast like this, to be honest with you. Because it is a life altering event.
- [27:07]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [27:09]
Cassandra
So moving forward. So that was my life for four years. I just lived with having this anonymous stalker. To me, it was just part of my life. It was just something that was going to be there. I truly and naively believe that this was just a random man online. I believe that it was. I honestly believed it was a man living out of state because I had no clue who it would be. And I. Maybe that was a way of my brain protecting myself or something. But that's what I believe. Right.
- [27:41]
Interviewer
Because if you think about the alternative of, oh, this person could be watching me or near me, you start to put yourself in a hole and get terrified anywhere you go or anything you do.
- [27:51]
Cassandra
Yeah. I will say that it's hard to live your life like that. Under paranoia 24. 7. It's easier to not, honestly. So that's what I did. I just kind of moved forward, honestly. And I even will say that I kind of even stopped using all those safety precautions that I did because you just kind of get used to it. I got conditioned to it and just kind of moved forward. But it was in December of 24, so just last year. Well before that. So in 24 I maybe heard from my stalker a few times, but nothing really big, I think. You know, definitely still getting the phone calls, him saying gross stuff to me, random texts, but nothing like really shocking or anything. So it's just all the normal stuff I was dealing with. With. I think he was not as active. But I do remember that around September or October, because I had a listing. I remember thinking about it. I was on a walk and I got a random call again from a number I didn't know, but it had been some time probably since a stalker had called me. Because I didn't automatically think it could be him. Usually if he's been interacting with me a lot, I automatically think of him. But I didn't. So I just thought it was going to be a regular call. And I answered, and it was a gentleman, Hispanic, and he was asking about an investment property, looking for one. I said, yeah, I can help you with that. And he was like, okay. I said, well, what are you looking for? And he was like, well, just an investment property. And I said, okay, well, you know, what price range? Bedrooms, like the condition? What are you looking for? Exactly? He was like, well, I don't know. Where do you live? And so to me, I knew it was him. I knew it was him calling to mess with me, because that's what he does. He just wants to talk to you all weird. So I hung up. And so I was like, this guy's messing with me again. So in December, I actually had a listing that was vandalized, and it was vandalized by probably like tweakers or something. They ended up selling like the electrical line from it. They sold the water line, all the, like, I guess, metals and stuff like that. And then they also stole the AC unit. So the listing was under contract with the buyer. My seller had to get all that stuff repaired in order for the loan to go through. So I had to reach out to different, different contractors and businesses to get those repairs done. I just made a. A Google search for a particular type of contractor. And I called the office and within one minute I get a text message from a man who I had spoke with previously. The last year in 24, he had reached out on occasion about real estate. I have never met this man in person. And one thing that really stood out to me when he would message me about real estate is he seemed like he was. He seemed like he knew me, he was very friendly with me, but I definitely did not know him. So I remember the first time he reached out. He asked about a property I had posted on Facebook and he had put his name and his business. So I almost felt like he thought I knew who he was or something. I'm not really a know it all type person. I don't really like to get into people's business. So even in a small, small town, I really don't know everybody's business, who they are, what they do. So I really didn't know much about him. Over the last year, he started messaging me in March asking about real estate in 24. And so he'd reach out every now and then asking about properties I'd give him a little info, and he'd, like, just leave it at that. He did ask me about the charity work I was doing at the time, and so I kind of felt like there was some interest in him to me with me, but I kind of just, you know, left it that I don't like when men are friendly with me and I don't know them because it makes me feel very uncomfortable. So whenever he messaged me for the quote, I felt uncomfortable because I'm like, oh, here's this guy, like, and I have to deal with him to give me this quote. He's already kind of weird with me when he texts me online or when he texts me about homes. It was weird because when he was texting me about homes, I'd asked him, hey, what's your last name so I can save it in my phone properly. He never texted me his last name, and I was like, that's weird. And so when he texted me about the quote, it was so quick. I was like, oh, he's gonna want some, like, type of attention from me. I just get annoyed with guys like that. And I didn't think anything of him. I just was like, here's some random dude, like, probably has a crush on me. Probably, you know, somebody just weird. So I think we, like, scheduled a time for him to come by to give me the quote, and he did. He came by, gave me the quote, and it was really quick. But I was surprised. I was attracted to him. I'd never met this guy in person, so when I did meet him, he ended up being, like, really close to my age. He was handsome, and I was like, oh, wow. I maybe misjudged him. And he was really nice. So he told me the amount for the work that would need to be done, and we left. It was really quick interaction, professional. Nothing that I thought. I didn't think too much of it. But he immediately texted me back and told me, hey, like, I have a soft spot for jobs like that. Because I told him what had happened to the sellers, and he told me that he would give me, like, a thousand thousand dollars off and that he would do the work himself to save some money. So I was like, oh, my gosh, thank you. I really appreciate that. Especially for my sellers, because them having to pay for all that work out of pocket, like, to me, that was a huge blessing. So I just made a little joke with him, like, hey, maybe I'll give you a lasagna. Like, I really appreciate it. And we kind of just left it at That I think it was, like, maybe a week or two later he scheduled to do the work. So I did have to open the property for him. So I had to go buy and open the lockbox. I didn't want to see anyone. I didn't want to meet them there. So I just went early to open it. And I texted him, hey, I got that open for you. And he was like, oh, did I see you just leaving right now? And I was like, yeah, I just pulled off. And he's like, can you come back? So he said, sure. And when I came back, he gave me a $50 gift card. And so I was like, wow, this guy's, like, really nice. And he did the job. It was, you know, good job, and kind of left it at that. And so afterwards is when that was in December, the end of December. I do remember that he texted me on Christmas day asking about a property that was already under contract. And I thought that was weird. I was like, why is this guy always, like, randomly texting me, even on Christmas? So I was like, this guy is thinking about me or something, and maybe that's just me being in my head. I don't know. But that's the way I took it. And so he would find ways to just message me about little things. I took it as, like, him kind of being attracted to me. I thought he was handsome. Handsome. So I definitely didn't mind or anything. But it wasn't, like, where we would constantly talk. It was just, you know, a little, hey, blah, blah, and that would be it. I think he had messaged me after that about, like, he sent me a photo of, like, a little microwave lasagna, because that's the charity work I was doing is making lasagnas for families in need. So he showed me his little ugly lasagna, and I made a joke about it, told him I would make him one sometime for being very nice about everything that he's helped me with. So we go into January, and he was, like, always looking at my Facebook. That's one thing I can remember is that I was like, why is this guy, like, he's always trying to find reasons to talk to me? So he'd be like, oh, I saw you posted this. Oh, I saw you posted this. And so I'm like, oh, he's definitely, like, attracted to me. And so I ended up needing a stove for that same listing, and I needed to put it in so that way the loan would go through. And I had made a post on Facebook saying, in search of a used Stuff stove. So he immediately reached out saying, hey, I saw somebody posted a used stove. If you can get. If you need help with that used stove, getting it to your property and setting it up, I will help you. And so I was like, damn, this guy is always watching what I'm doing. Like, literally, I just posted that, and he is already going to help me. So it started to raise red flags with that with me. So I was like, he's very interested in what I'm up to. And two, if he is interested in me, why isn't he just asking me out? So I actually thought he was married. So I was like, this is a married man trying to mess with me. Sneaky. Yes. And so that's something I actually deal with kind of often. That's very common. Yeah, exactly. And so I wasn't thinking anything really, like, nefarious with him, but I did think that he was being, you know, inappropriate in a way. So I was like, dang, am I going to take this married man's help? And I'm like, yeah, I got to get that this deal closed. So I am. So I ended up telling him, hey, I found a stove. If you could help me, I would really appreciate it. And so we did. We set up a time for him to meet me to get the stove and move it to the listing, because it was in another. A little town right over. So when we met up with one another, we were obviously attracted to each other. I think we were, like, asking each other, like, oh, you know, how long have you been doing this type of work? How long I've been a realtor? Because we didn't really know each other before personally, just from our little interaction with the work that we had done on that listing. And then he helped me with it, and it was very. He wasn't being flirty with me. He wasn't, like, crossing any boundaries or anything. But I knew that we kind of liked each other. I was kind of excited about it in a way. And so after we had gotten done putting it in, we'd left. And it was, you know, it wasn't too big of a deal, but he had started. Of course, we were texting a lot that day. And so he was like, oh, well, maybe I'll have the courage to ask you to lunch sometime. And I told him, well, I would like that, but I don't know anything about you. Are you single? Because to me, I'm like, this guy has a really good job. He's attractive. Like, there's no way he could be single. And so I think he said, oh, well, I have a family in Albuquerque. I'm just trying to like, have. Start something here. Yes, he said that. And I was like, okay, well, I appreciate you letting me know, but thank you. I can't go to lunch with you. I, I do appreciate your help, though. And he was like, I'm just kidding. Bad joke. And I said, yes, because the worst type of men are attracted to me. And he was like, no, I'm recently divorced and I'm. I'm single. And so I was like, okay, well, you know, know. So it didn't, it didn't make me feel better. If anything, it showed me that he is still sneaky in a way. So to me, I was like, oh, he's just a narcissist. He's like some guy who's just trying to use me for my benefits and just get some pleasure out of me and whatnot. I've like, dealt with that type before. And that's definitely what I was feeling from him. That's why I was like, he's hiding something. Especially with all those, those gifts he was giving me and, like, trying to help me so much, trying to be like this perfect guy to me, you know? So I was still trying. So I'm, I'm trying to figure this guy out, right? I have all these thoughts in my head about him. And he's like texting me constantly after this. Like, you know, really texting me a lot. So that evening, it was literally the same evening that he helped me put in that stove. I'm talking to my girlfriends in, like, a group chat. And we actually met up a little bit earlier in that day. And I was telling him, like, guys, I'm talking to this guy. Do you all know who he is? And they're like, no, we don't really know him. I always ask my friends, do you know this guy? And they're like, no, we don't really know him. And I'm like, okay, well, he says he's divorced and. But I think that there's something off about him. I don't trust the situation is what I told them. And they're like, yeah, well, be careful, because if he's newly divorced, you know, you can't trust newly, newly divorced guys for, like, relationships, like long term or anything like that. That's what we were thinking. So we actually looked up his court records, right, because we're females, we're going to want to see that stuff. So it. There was like a divorce.
- [40:12]
Interviewer
So at this point, were you Able to get his last name.
- [40:15]
Cassandra
So, well, so that's going on with my girlfriends, right? So I was also talking to a guy friend, asking him, hey, do you know this guy? He works for this business. He owns it. And this is his first name. Do you know his last name? And he was like, no, I don't know his last name. But here's a reverse phone number. Look up. Try it. So I had one, an app that I used. When I ran his number, it didn't pull anything up. So that one is trash that I had. But when I ran it through that one, his last name came up. What's crazy is maybe a couple weeks before that, I had googled his name and his business, and an article came up from 2015 about a man who attacked his ex girlfriend. But I didn't know this guy's last name. And to me, he kind of looked like him, but he kind of didn't. So I didn't think too much of it. So when my friend told me to use that reverse lookup, I got his last name. So I see his first name and his last name name. When I Google it, that same article comes up and it's him. So this man, in 2015, he attacked his girlfriend at the time. He stabbed her multiple times and was charged with attempted murder. He also around that time, raped a woman. So he is currently a sex offender. He's a registered sex offender. And he did go to prison for that. That. So when I saw that that that was his record and that he was a registered sex offender, all these, like, little things started clicking in my head, right? Like, okay, this guy has a really bad past, and he's not even trying to, like, tell me anything about what's going on with that. Not only that, but the way he was always watching me, trying to see every little thing I was doing. So what's funny is that night I had already told. Told him good night. I'd already told him, I'm going to bed. Like, good night for the night. I had maybe posted something about, I'm also a cosmetologist. So I had posted something about, like, oh, the only reason I went to hair school is for hair product. And he messaged me. He's like, oh, I just saw that you posted on Facebook about being a cosmetologist. It's crazy. I'm also a barber. And I was like, God, this guy does not leave me alone. Like, he is just obsessed with me. And that's when it clicked in my head that that man is my stalker. So also on the reports, so you can google his name and you can see all these articles online from his history. But on one of them, there's a woman that the woman that he raped, she says that she didn't even know him. With a Venmo debit card, you can Venmo more than just your friends.
- [43:04]
Interviewer
You can use your balance in so many ways.
- [43:06]
Cassandra
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Interviewer
You can Venmo this.
- [43:14]
Cassandra
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Interviewer
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- [43:48]
Cassandra
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- [43:52]
Interviewer
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- [44:01]
Cassandra
And he raped her and stalked her. So his victims ended up reaching out to me. And she said that they went on a date. Their first date. He attacked her. He. He started beating her with brass knuckles. And he called the cops to say that it was in self defense.
- [44:22]
Interviewer
So let me get this right. This guy, I'm backtracking a little. So all this stuff is happening with the master. Reading calls, anonymous, all this stuff. When you posted on Facebook that you needed a contractor, did he.
- [44:38]
Cassandra
Was it a re.
- [44:38]
Interviewer
Was it his real Facebook page that he used?
- [44:41]
Cassandra
Good questions. Good questions. So I posted on Facebook that I needed this stove. Right.
- [44:45]
Interviewer
So before that, before, like when he did the first job for you?
- [44:47]
Cassandra
Well, I called their office looking for the contractor, but he is on Facebook.
- [44:53]
Interviewer
So like a real profile?
- [44:55]
Cassandra
No. So he's a registered sex offender. He's not supposed to be on social media. Okay, but this gentleman, what he does is he hides behind his business accounts. That's how he's seeing us online. That's how he's being able to be a predator.
- [45:10]
Interviewer
Okay?
- [45:11]
Cassandra
And I brought this to police. So what he does is he has a business account for his business, but he also has a second account that has his Business name in it twice that he kind of uses for his personal. You know what I mean?
- [45:23]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [45:23]
Cassandra
So that's how he's been able to watch me, to contact me, to like my stuff.
- [45:28]
Interviewer
And that's what he used to comment and say that he could. Like, he did that work or whatever.
- [45:34]
Cassandra
Yeah, well, that's what he's using to. He never commented on my stuff, but he would. He would like my stuff. He would see my stories, but he was using it to watch me online. Right. So how did you.
- [45:45]
Interviewer
You end up reaching out to his company?
- [45:48]
Cassandra
So. Just randomly googling it. That's why I. Girl, get this. That listing I got really shouldn't even have been my listing. That's just so weird. It's. God, it is literally fate in God. I'm telling you that I was supposed to catch this man. Yeah. And I say that because this listing also. So turns out. Out randomly, a friend on Facebook was like, hey, my. My friend needs to sell his home. I told him to hit you up. Do you mind reaching out? And I was like, yeah, of course. So I contacted the seller, and he.
- [46:23]
Interviewer
We.
- [46:23]
Cassandra
We hit it off. We got the contract going. I got him listed. Turns out another girl who joined our brokerage, she was like, hey, girl, how did you get that listing? And I told him, oh, I got it off of her. I told her I got it off of a referral. She. She's like, that's so crazy. I. I was gonna list that home, and he decided not to list with me because he did not like how we did our contracts. And I was like, no way. And she's like, yeah, I met up with him and everything. We were gonna sign the agreement, and he decided not to. And so, yeah. And what's even crazier is that my buyer that was with me ended up buying with her. So it was like we got flipped out.
- [47:03]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [47:03]
Cassandra
I. I remember when she posted that she closed with that buyer. I was like, oh, he didn't close with me. Like, what is going on? I was like, I cannot believe he didn't close with me. But after I found out that I ended up taking her seller, I feel like it was in some way like God's doing.
- [47:18]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [47:18]
Cassandra
To be honest with you.
- [47:19]
Interviewer
And the fact that you reached out to.
- [47:21]
Cassandra
I'm telling you, I Googled that type of contractor. Of course, because I will say because I had seen his Facebook, you know, company on Facebook and everything, I was familiar with him, so that is why I decided to call. But I. I in no way, shape or form Knew that it was the.
- [47:38]
Interviewer
Person that was calling.
- [47:39]
Cassandra
No, knew that it was him. Even though that gentleman had reached out about Facebook, I. About real estate, I'd honestly forgotten about him. You know what I mean? Because he wasn't even somebody I thought about. It was just another man reaching out about something, you know? So, yeah, when I say that, I put it together because. Not only because of his history, he has a very violent history against women, but also because of the way he. I literally. It felt like he was hunting me. I felt like he was hunting me, finding reasons to talk to me, like, weaseling his way into my life. Like, why would he give me all those discounts? Why would he give me a gift card? Why would he just want to help me with that stove? You know what I mean? Like, I really felt like he was genuinely, like, hunting me, trying to find any little reason to talk to me, especially watching me on Facebook so much. And then so I told my. Oh, so my sister is actually a victim. Victims advocate in Seattle. So she's helped me with this thing the whole time. And so I called her, my dad, and I told them, I think I know who my stalker is. And they're like, how? And I was. I told them, it's this gentleman who's trying to date me right now. He has a really violent history with the way he's interacting with me. I just. I know it's my stalker. I just know it's my stalker.
- [48:57]
Interviewer
And in person, those few times that he helped you with things, you didn't get any, like, type of.
- [49:03]
Cassandra
This is what's so weird. And I still think it's so weird. He was, like, cold with me in person. Like, as warm as he was with me in text, in person, he was almost, like, shy.
- [49:15]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [49:15]
Cassandra
And to me, that was weird, right? Because. And that's why I say, like, there was something he was hiding, because a normal guy, when I just felt like he would be, like, more trying to get with me, but I feel like this guy really was, like, hunting me in a way.
- [49:29]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [49:30]
Cassandra
Okay. So I told my girlfriends, I told my sister, I told my dad, and they were like, you need to text us saying that you know who this man is. Another thing that immediately happened as soon as I figured out was him. It was shock, okay? Like, I literally felt like I got thrown into, like, another dimension, like a dream, because I was like, how is this happening to me? How is the man who has stalked me for four years trying to date me in my life right now? It felt like so. It felt Disgusting. It felt like I was in shock. Honestly, I feel like for yourself too.
- [50:05]
Interviewer
It kind of makes you, like. Like, for me, at least. I feel like I would start questioning myself and like, how I even, like, I would think to myself, how did I even let it get? Like, how am I attracted to this? Even though, like, you didn't know? Like, I feel like that's what I would do. I'd start like blaming myself for like even being attracted to that person. Even though you didn't know.
- [50:24]
Cassandra
Well, this is the crazy part is that I. I did have a crush on him. Right. So, like, yeah. Messes with you in your head because you're like, oh my gosh, like, am I okay? I kind of do like him. Like, I actually do like my stalker. Like, it was really just okay. But then also I was like, oh, hell no. This man is very, very, very dangerous. And he's not the. The. I mean, because in the news article of one of his victims, they say that it said that they had no idea that he. That he was going to do something like that. That they had no idea. So I immediately was even more afraid for my life at that point. Once I figured out that it was him and he was like trying to be in my life and that he actually was in my life, that is when the real fear hit me. And so I took. Told my friends, I told my dad and my sister. I said, I am too afraid to stop talking to him right now. I'm way too afraid to just pull away because I'm scared that he's going to figure out that I know it's him. And I genuinely was so scared. I mean, if you've been called in message like that and you've been threatened rape and then you find out that not only do you know who your stalker is, but your stalker is somebody that has raped another woman in. Tried to kill someone, and is a free man right now. I mean, that.
- [51:56]
Interviewer
And somehow got into your life.
- [51:58]
Cassandra
Yeah, like, that freaked. I mean, I was literally. I couldn't sleep all night the next day. Of course he's like texting me all day long. I'm having to put up this front.
- [52:08]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [52:08]
Cassandra
That everything is okay. And immediately, like, literally by that day, I was already creating problems with him because I knew that I needed to. To maybe continue talking to him, but I also knew that I needed to cause so much friction that he didn't want to talk to me anymore. So that was my game plan. Right. Is that.
- [52:28]
Interviewer
Was he asking you any personal questions about yourself?
- [52:30]
Cassandra
Oh, yeah. He was asking girl, he was asking me like, why I'm single, what I want out of life. So remember I told you that he Remember I told you that he told me that he wanted to marry me and have babies. My stalker did. So when I was texting this guy, I told him, hey, what's your four year plan? You know, just like I already figured out by that he was my stalker, but I was still trying to play along just to keep things cool. He told me to have to have a wife named Cassandra with his last name in, in a baby. So to me, that was like cementing that he's my stalker. Because who tells a woman that, that you haven't even been on a date with her and you say that to her, like, that is some unhinged behavior. So the next day he did try to get me to go over to his house. He was like, oh, I'm cleaning up because I, I had to go put up a listing. I was literally in so much shock. As I was hammering my listing, I busted open my hand because I just, my head was everywhere. I was like in a dream. But he tried to get me to go to his house for like a date. And I remember like thinking, oh my gosh, I cannot go with this man anywhere, like, even in public by myself. So I made an excuse saying like, oh, I don't like when guys asked me over to their place without even taking me on a date. And I could tell that he was like getting annoyed with me and stuff, but I didn't care. So pretty much for like the next. So that maybe was like a Saturday. Friday night was when I realized that. Or Friday or Saturday. Thursday was when I realized he was my stalker. So for like the next few days, the next week, week, I continued speaking with him, which was actually really good because I was able to get a lot of messages from him that really showed that he texted very similar to my stalker punctuation. The way he would use ellipses, the way he would use commas, the way he would say, hey, some of the phrases that he would use very similar to my stalker. And so to me it was just like cementing that he is my stalker.
- [54:37]
Interviewer
And during this time, you weren't hearing from like a different number.
- [54:42]
Cassandra
And great question, question again. So like I said, when me and him first met and started interacting, my stalker kind of picked up. But as soon as me and him got closer, no more stalker. I was not hearing from my stalker at all. And so for the next week, I would just, he would be Wanting to talk to me. So for, like, the first few days, it was him trying to talk to me. But I think I made, like, some excuse. Oh, I forgot to tell you. So he ended up. Ended up the day after he helped me with the stove. And I think it was actually that night that I figured out that he was my stalker. So I figured out he was my stalker. The very next day, he has a Facebook giveaway for realtors to give him a $100 gift card. And I win it. Two other people win it, and it's random, but I'm like. It was just, like, so many reasons he was. Was doing. Creating reasons to, like, have me around, have me in his life. So all those things were just, like. It makes sense to me. It makes sense that this man is my stalker. There's no one I've ever thought was my stalker until I met him.
- [55:57]
Interviewer
And before you figured it out, did you ever tell him that you had a stalker?
- [56:02]
Cassandra
No.
- [56:02]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [56:02]
Cassandra
So that's another thing, too. Usually I didn't tell him because we really hadn't gotten to that place of, like, intimacy or even. Even really personal yet.
- [56:12]
Interviewer
Right.
- [56:13]
Cassandra
But I didn't ever mention my stalker. And that's a really big clue right there, because if you ask any other guy I've ever tried to talk to, that is, like, one of the first things I tell them is that I have a stalker. And that. That's, like, you know, a really big concern in my life.
- [56:29]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [56:30]
Cassandra
And, yeah, I never mentioned that to him, not once, because I knew he was my stalker, and he is my stalker. So I kept talking to him. But I would create a lot of issues for us. Right. So I would accuse him of liking other realtors. I mean, going crazy. I was doing my best to make sure that, like, this guy would not want to talk to me anymore for reasons other than me knowing he was my stalker. I did not want him to know that. So I accuse him of, like, liking other realtors. Oh. I got mad at him for not texting me fast enough. Just, like, the most pettiest, awful things you can do. And so I'm sure to him, it just seemed like I was being crazy, but that was the point I was trying to do. So it got to a point where I was able to just block him on everything. I told him, I don't want to talk to you anymore. You're not giving me the same attention that I want, blah, blah, putting it all like, I'm the crazy one. You're normal. And so I blocked him on Everything. I blocked him on Facebook, all my social medias, and on my phone. And the very next day, I went to the sheriff's department. So I didn't go to them directly. So because the police. And this is where I made the biggest mistake. Um, so because the police was not very helpful to me at any point, I actually went to. He was a friend at the time, the undersheriff. I went to the undersheriff because I felt like if I went to him personally, he could at least tell me what the best decision to do. I trusted his judgment in law enforcement. So I went to him, letting him know that, hey, I think this man is my stalker. These are the reasons why, you know, basically everything I told you. And he told me that he knew of this man, that this man had caused problems in the community before. Even after the horrible things he's done, just. He said, even, I think in the last couple years, he got kicked out of. Off the board of the. What is it called? The country club because they found out he's a sex offender. He was harassing one of the women out there as well. So, I mean, immediately he was believing me or he pretended to believe me. So he asked me if I was okay with getting one of the investigators involved, which ended up being like, basically the investigator that handles the sex offenders. Another big mistake. So they both are being told what I told them, which is that I believe that man is my stalker. That I showed him the text messages, the ones I told you about from the beginning, the ones about the rape and stuff like that. I told them how my interactions with him is what made me believe that he is my stalker and that I. I didn't know what to do. I needed their help. And so they're the ones who told me. They told me that day because I told them that he had been messaging me about Facebook, contacting me about my Facebook posts. They said, especially that detective. She told me that that was enough to get him arrested, that they could get him arrested, arrested that day for violating his parole for being on social media. She had also asked me if I wanted her to confront him about being my stalker. And I said, no, I do not want him to know that I know that he's my stalker because I'm afraid of him. I am afraid for my life. That's what I told them. So they asked me if they. If I would let them move forward because they said that they could arrest him. And I said, yes, if you think you can arrest him, yes, please move forward. And so we. And I told them, before you do anything, because they have to go to his probation officer. They have to go to his probation officer to get all the evidence so they can arrest him for that probation violation. So I told them, before you do any of that, I want to know how much involvement I will have, because I want to know if he'll know it's me or not that's accusing me him. Because I was afraid of him. And I didn't think that he knew that I knew he was my stalker because of the way I played it off. And I told them that I had been talking to him for the last week because I was in fear of my life, that I told my sister and my dad that I knew it was him, but that I was still talking to him because I was in fear. And I told them that I had to pretend to be crazy with him, that I did that on purpose. And I also mentioned that I believe, like it was the grace of God who. Who. Who not showed me, but that. That allowed me to see it was him so I could protect myself from him. So a couple weeks. A week went by. I hadn't heard anything from the sheriffs about him being arrested or not. I reached out to. Or a few days went by, I reached out to the undersheriff, asking him if I could have the detective's number, and he said he would have her reach out to me. When she did reach out to me, she was saying that she hadn't heard from the probation officer and that that was very unlike her, that she was sick and usually she's on top of things, and that they'll get back to me and just kind of giving me the run around. So they did that again and again and again. She was telling me, oh, well, you know, they got to bring him in. They haven't brought him in yet. And I. And before they bring him in, they'll let me know what it'll look like for me and my involvement. It got to a point where I called her or I told her that I felt like they were not helping me, that I felt like it was a mistake, that. That I ever went to them because I felt like they weren't doing anything to help me in my situation. And that's when she gave me a call and said that. That she would reach out to the probation officer to see what's really going on. And I told her in that phone call, if you guys don't help me, I don't know what to do except come forward and come out publicly as Some sort of recourse for him. And she told me that day that she knew. Knew that he hated public humiliation, that she knew that some of his past victims have come forward publicly and that she felt sorry for him because she thought he was a changed man when that would happen. Why is she telling me this? Right. Yeah, exactly. So I didn't think too much of that. But the next day is when she messaged me saying that her. His probation officer brought him in and they couldn't find anything on his phone, and there was no reason to arrest him. And so I was irate. It's. I wasn't irate. I mean, I was texting her, but I told her you told me that. That you were able to arrest him for being on Facebook. And there was even other girls who were my friends who came forward saying that he had been messaging them too, on Facebook like that too through his business profile. But I guess to the sheriff, we'll get into that part, what they say about it. So because they did that, because they decided to not help me and to let this man just be free or have no consequences, after saying that they were going to help me and that it was an arrestable offense, I decided that the best thing I could do was to go to Facebook and to put that I knew who my stalker was, was the people of ho. My community knows that I have a stalker. I've made it known that I have a stalker. It's best for people to know that you have a stalker when somebody's doing that to you, because it's not good to keep it a secret. People should know that somebody's harassing you like that. So I did a Facebook post and I put that I knew who my stalker was, that he was a registered sex offender, and that the police did nothing to help help me. And so I kind of left it at that.
- [64:12]
Interviewer
Did you say his name on there?
- [64:14]
Cassandra
No, I've never, ever mentioned his name. And so the next day is when I did a second post, and my second post was attached with the messages where he's. The text where the stalker said he was going to rape me. I attached that with it. But the next post I put more details in it. So I had put that I had went to the sheriff's department and that they said that they were going to help me and that they didn't, and that this gentleman hides behind his business and that he was a registered sex offender, that he had previously stabbed his ex girlfriend many times and that he was free to be a danger to the community basically. And that's when everything really blew up. So people started sharing it. Not only were they sharing it, but they started commenting on it. People were starting to put two and two together of who it is. That same day I started having the sheriff's department and the police department reach out to me because it blew up. I guess you could call it like viral in our little town. But that post went viral and so I started getting phone calls from the sheriff in the police department and it felt like harassment.
- [65:37]
Interviewer
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- [66:10]
Cassandra
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Interviewer
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Cassandra
More deliveries.
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Interviewer
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Cassandra
We'll be right down. And more memories, babe.
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Interviewer
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- [66:29]
Cassandra
Shop now at Amazon.com blink for just $69.99. It did not feel like they were calling to help me. It felt like they were calling to find out where I was. And it turns out that he had put a restraining order on me. So because I made that public post, he went and he filed a restraining order against me saying that I was causing death threats to him because people were, because of his actions, threatening his life and his business and his family. So that got really, really, really crazy. But I'm glad. I'm so grateful I did that because if it hadn't have been for me doing that, nobody would have helped me. Yeah, I would not have been able to get even a little bit of help. So I did that and I had the restraining order served on me. The sheriff's department ended up calling me and basically trying to apologize for their wrongdoings, in my opinion. So I ended up getting the sheriff's report and the detective completely lied in her statements. She said that I did not want them to investigate, that she asked me to investigate and I told her no. She said that. She told me that there wasn't enough evidence to arrest him. And she told me that I the only Proof I had was that the Holy Spirit told me. Told me that's what she put in her report. Yep. And so I actually did file a complaint against the sheriff's department. I moved forward and did the. The investigation. It was bogus. They literally. The. The guy who was in the investigator for the formal complaint, he said that because he was using a Facebook profile that didn't have his face on it, it doesn't count as a parole violation. So that's the type of sheriff's have in that community. They only protect themselves. They do not protect anyone. And they will do anything to cover up what they need to. To stay protected.
- [68:34]
Interviewer
It is unfortunate because you're messing with people's. Other people's lives.
- [68:39]
Cassandra
If it was one of their children, I guarantee you it wouldn't be the same story. And unfortunately, it wasn't. It was me. So I no longer trust the Lee County Sheriff's Department. And I would say if you have any matters that are important to you, I would think twice about who you go to, unfortunately.
- [68:59]
Interviewer
Yeah. And it's.
- [69:00]
Cassandra
And people should know that.
- [69:01]
Interviewer
Right. And the thing is too, is, I think with a lot of these. I mean, it goes with domestic violence as well. They. It's not. It doesn't seem to be taken very seriously until it's too late.
- [69:11]
Cassandra
No. And the fact that that detective mocked me, that was really, really. That really shows me what type of detective she is. She's not the type of detective to. To want to really investigate. What's funny is while they were calling me, trying to apologize to me, one of the other. I don't even know what type of officer he is a deputy or what, but he was saying that the. The detective didn't do any wrongdoings. The. The sheriff who did the wrongdoing was the first guy who took my report and said that he couldn't help me because it was anonymous numbers. They try to thr on him. And I told them because her. They. They ended up calling me back saying that, okay, we want to help you. We want to help you with this stalker thing. I told them that I. I wanted to speak with the lawyer first because I felt like they were. I didn't know if they were trying to get me in trouble or not. I'm telling you, when they were calling me, it did not feel like they were trying to help me. I thought they were trying to get me caught up. I did not trust that detective anymore. I felt like she was trying to get me. Me caught up. So she ended up calling me saying that she was the one that had to help me because it was her case, by the way, she's in charge of him. So to me, it's just her protecting him for whatever reason. Maybe to protect herself, she has to protect him. But she was like, telling me, well, why didn't you give me the text messages of him saying he was on Facebook? And I said, why would I know to do that? You're the one who said that you were going to do these things. Why would you not ask me for this? Them? So she is not a very good detective whatsoever. They all dropped the ball in that department. The only reason why they were pretending to try to help me is so that they could not have to face the public scrutiny like they should have to.
- [70:55]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [70:57]
Cassandra
So I ended up going back to the police department when all of that happened, and I got the restraining order.
- [71:03]
Interviewer
Filed on me because in January of this year.
- [71:05]
Cassandra
Right, okay, let me see. Think, let me think. So by the time all that had blown up, it was in February. February 10, I think, is the day I put it all on Facebook. So I went back to the Hobbs Police Department to see if they would help me. So by that time, I had already had the restraining order out. They were already aware of the whole situation because the whole city was aware of what was going on. And so I ended up talking to a detective who took all my information. He got all the messages, and he is actively working on it right now. So I'm grateful for that. And hopefully something comes out of it. It's already been a long time. They are not. They're not very good about keeping you updated or anything. I am a little worried. I mean, I have one people saying that he is violating his parole, and you have one entity saying it's not a violation, and he's still not arrested to this day. So to me, um, I. I don't know what type of violations they have to occur to actually be arrested, but it seems like they have a lot of leeway with these sex offenders. It seems like these sex offenders have a lot of free range to just do whatever they want in the community.
- [72:20]
Interviewer
And have you heard from him since you blocked him?
- [72:23]
Cassandra
So it's really interesting. February, so before I went to. Before I came out publicly, so I'd already gone to the. The sheriffs, but before I came out publicly, there was a profile on Instagram that was looking at my accounts. And so I ended up messaging them, saying the person's name, saying they're registered sex offender. They're not supposed to be watching me online anymore. And pretty much since then, I really hadn't heard from them up until the restraining order. So the stalker has been really laying low. And I think it's because they know. Know they're being investigated.
- [73:00]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [73:02]
Cassandra
So with the restraining order, we go to the restraining order hearing. I put a counter restraining order on him with evidence that he was my stalker. But when we went in, he was represented by a lawyer. I literally cannot get any representation. Nobody will represent me. I've reached out to lawyers in Albuquerque. I've reached out to a lot of lawyers in town, and they will not help me because they don't like taking on these types of cases. There's no criminal charges pending, so there's nobody to really represent me, which really sucks.
- [73:37]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [73:38]
Cassandra
So I've been just doing all this stuff alone on my own. And so he has a lawyer. And whenever the restraining order hearing was, I mean, it blew up because I could not even get a word in. The judge wouldn't even let me explain my counter petition. It was basically like I was being examined by his lawyer and. Yeah.
- [74:00]
Interviewer
And was he there?
- [74:01]
Cassandra
He was there, yeah. So it was online, basically. But, yeah, he. I know he's bothered. I can tell he's bothered. His business, he said, has taken a huge hit. You know, it's affected him, and it should. Definitely should. It's affected me, too. You know, I think he should have some consequences from this. If not legal, then and personal for sure. But the judge did. Throughout both of our restraining orders, I ended up trying to file a second restraining order on him. We actually just got done with that hearing last weekend, and the judge did deny me again. He said unless something changes, I wouldn't be able to do a restraining order on him in that way, at least. And so that's where we are right now, now.
- [74:53]
Interviewer
And he has not reached out from, like, more anonymous numbers up until, like, since then.
- [74:58]
Cassandra
So I got a weird call and text maybe, like, last week sometime.
- [75:03]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [75:04]
Cassandra
But I'm not too sure if it was him or not. Yeah. So.
- [75:12]
Interviewer
So right now, it's just, like, in the middle of everything.
- [75:14]
Cassandra
Yes. So right now, I mean, he's. I don't. I don't even think he's really. I don't know what he's up to, but, I mean, as far as I know, we're basically just at existing. Yeah. It's just crazy to me. It's super crazy.
- [75:30]
Interviewer
Do you feel any better that of, like, where it is now, or do.
- [75:36]
Cassandra
You still feel pretty. I agree. 100% honest. I feel so much better knowing who he is.
- [75:40]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [75:41]
Cassandra
Just having that, that unknown eliminated, it gives me a lot of power and control back.
- [75:48]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [75:48]
Cassandra
I have a lot of control in this situation. And I think that's something that, that really bothers him and that's his biggest mistake. He could have stayed in the shadows. He did not have to try and date me. It's his own fault. I just, I'm grateful that I'm smart enough to have realized that it was him. And I really do believe that God made it that way. You know, the detective mocks me, but I'll give credit where credit's due. I do believe in the Holy Spirit. And I do believe that there's no.
- [76:17]
Interviewer
Such thing as coincidence either.
- [76:19]
Cassandra
Yeah. You know what I mean? And that's why I say I really feel like it's, it was supposed to happen this way. He was supposed to get caught up like this. I never would have thought that, like, I would have this situation in my life, especially because I really just don't interact with guys like that even before him. I mean, I'm, I'm just not someone who likes a ton of attention and people. I get a, you know, I get a, a lot of negative. Oh, man, I, I, I even myself am a controversial figure in my community, to be honest with you. There's a lot of people, I think, who do support me and there's a lot of people who don't. There's a lot of people, I think, who want to see me shut up. So it's just interesting. It's really interesting the way this whole thing has played out.
- [77:09]
Interviewer
Yeah. And you know, unfortunately, I think that we live in a world where everybody likes to have an opinion, even when, when there really doesn't need to be one. I think if somebody genuinely feels scared for their life and for their safety and their well being, they have every right to speak out about that and talk about that. And I don't think anyone really understands it unless they're dealing with it, you know, And I don't think people realize, like, as a single woman, it is scary. You know, even if you aren't necessarily being stalked, things aren't the same. Like, you live alone, you go, you know, you run your errands alone. Like everything you're doing is alone. And that opens up a door to have more things happen. Unfortunately. And we don't live in a safe world. We live in a world where it is scary. People do have a lot of leeway that shouldn't. And there isn't many help. There isn't much help or many resources, I think, when it comes to women's safety.
- [78:08]
Cassandra
Yeah, It's. You know, one thing that really, I think that we need to change is this man is a licensed professional, is a sex offender, and he's allowed to go into people's homes and properties. And I don't know if that's really smart for the state to be allowing that, you know, and you were alone.
- [78:27]
Interviewer
With him multiple times, like, thank God that you're okay and nothing happened. But the fact that that was even an. Like you said, like, the fact that that was even even able to happen is a problem because you had no idea.
- [78:43]
Cassandra
And what's crazy is that several women have come forward saying that he's harassed them in some way, too. Not stalking, but like him personally. So women who have applied for a job say that after that, he won't stop messaging them. Another lady came to me saying that he was sending her gifts, messaging her. And this is while he was a married man.
- [79:07]
Interviewer
So does he. So he does have a family?
- [79:11]
Cassandra
Yeah, I guess that. Yeah.
- [79:13]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [79:14]
Cassandra
His family.
- [79:15]
Interviewer
Okay. But that's not. But then a girlfriend that he was. Attempted murder.
- [79:19]
Cassandra
That was different. Yeah, that was like 10 years ago.
- [79:22]
Interviewer
Okay.
- [79:22]
Cassandra
His past and stuff like that. But yeah, I mean, his past is still in the present. That guy is not changed whatsoever.
- [79:28]
Interviewer
Well, even the comment that you said that it was the detective. Right. That made saying that I thought he was a changed man. That's not your. That's not your call to make.
- [79:36]
Cassandra
Yeah, that detective is interesting, for sure.
- [79:39]
Interviewer
And that's not to say people can't change, but if somebody's coming to you, like, you didn't pull it out of your ass. You know what I mean? Like, all of this is happening to you. This is how you feel.
- [79:49]
Cassandra
So another. Another crazy thing that I tied to him. I personally do believe it's him. So I was telling the story about this. That phone number with all those reports from the realtors. Right? Yeah. So one of the girls in my brokerage, she comes from a different brokerage. She moved over, and she was saying that just last year, some of the Girls were getting FaceTime calls from somebody. What they would do is they would use the seller's name of their listing, a Gmail or an email account, FaceTime. Them. Them. But it would be a man masturbating.
- [80:26]
Interviewer
But you said that. Would he ever show his face or no? Okay. So people didn't know it was him.
- [80:32]
Cassandra
I guarantee you it's that same guy. It has to be him.
- [80:36]
Interviewer
It's crazy.
- [80:37]
Cassandra
He's a predator for sure.
- [80:38]
Interviewer
Yeah. It's. It's unacceptable and it's very, very scary.
- [80:43]
Cassandra
Yeah.
- [80:43]
Interviewer
So I mean, and I think too like with social media, the, I mean, that's all people do now is put themselves out there, there, you know, constantly. And it just gives people the ability, these scary people, the ability to just choose, basically.
- [80:59]
Cassandra
Yeah. And that's basically what he does is he just gets on there and shops around and that's what people say. I guess people say that they knew him for liking realtors, that he likes the pretty realtors or something like that. But I am still surprised that nobody's come forward saying that they're also stalked as well. So.
- [81:19]
Interviewer
And you know, everybody bothers me differently too. Like maybe for some people it's. They just ignore it or they. And you know, everybody's definition of things are different. Some people might not feel it's a stalking. Some people might feel like, oh, it's better to ignore it, you know, But I think any situation like that, it's better 100, always better to speak out because the more you speak out about it, like you said, the more people know. And people should, should know because it is a safety concern.
- [81:44]
Cassandra
Yeah.
- [81:44]
Interviewer
And it's a concern for your well being. And like you said, it has a, it has had an effect on, you know, how you even approach your job. And that's sad, that's unfortunate because you know, in your career you want to be personable, you want to be open and friendly, but to feel like you can't, that puts a halt on things. And that's unfortunate as well.
- [82:03]
Cassandra
Yeah. But like I said, that is why I'm so grateful to finally know who it is because it gives me relieved to where I don't have to be questioning every single man who comes into my life now. And I really, truly do feel really terrible at the way I've looked at men. So even now I can finally like breathe a little easier, you know what I mean? So even though things aren't maybe where I want them to be, I still.
- [82:33]
Interviewer
Feel like there's some relief in that knowing.
- [82:36]
Cassandra
Yeah, I definitely. And I feel like he is paying some consequences for his actions right now. He ended up, I didn't tell you this part. He ended up getting a lie detector test done. He put it on Facebook, like right around that time that I put all that stuff out there. Yeah. So his attorney and him, they picked the, the lie detector person. They picked the questions. Of course. Right, of course. Yeah, they passed it or whatever, but, I mean, he's doing anything and everything to try and prove he's innocent.
- [83:05]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [83:05]
Cassandra
If you were innocent, I don't think you'd be pulling up a lie detector test, in my opinion.
- [83:11]
Interviewer
That is crazy.
- [83:13]
Cassandra
I. I still can't believe that.
- [83:15]
Interviewer
How it ended up working out, that you ended up reaching out to.
- [83:18]
Cassandra
I know that's crazy. That's why I say that House is my favorite listing. That will always be my favorite listing. That is the listing that showed me who my stalker was. Living four years with a stalker is really hard. It's a long time to have to deal with stuff like that. I don't think it does.
- [83:40]
Interviewer
It must become part of your identity. And I don't think people realize that.
- [83:43]
Cassandra
Because it really does.
- [83:44]
Interviewer
Dealing with daily, it's something that's just there. But I'm. I mean, obviously I hope that everything completely goes in your favor and you get some sort of of, you know, peace of mind with the situation even more so than you have, you know, with law enforcement and. And everything in between, obviously. But I'm. At least you know, who it is now. And that's. That's scary because I think too with social media, you can have a stalker and like you said, maybe they could be out of state or not something that it can be right in front of you. But the fact that you were literally face to face and had no idea and you, like, you had no clue you were looking at this person as somebody that could maybe be somebody you'd be interested in.
- [84:25]
Cassandra
I know that's crazy. Part of it.
- [84:26]
Interviewer
Ye.
- [84:27]
Cassandra
Honestly. And that's why I say, I think in my post I put that, like, life can be so cruel because to me, that is so cruel. Like, right. You get excited about something.
- [84:37]
Interviewer
Like you said, like, it's, you know, it is exciting to meet someone new and be interested in someone, and then it's ripped away from you and it's like, oh, like, why would I ever want to open myself up and try that again? But I think it does go to show. And it might take time, but it does go to show. You know, you can't let something like that stop you. And you. That all happened for a reason. You found it out for a reason. So maybe that was the only way that it could happen. But you shouldn't let it stop you from, you know, being excited again in the future or, you know, opening yourself up for the opportunity to meet someone good, because there is someone good out there for everyone. It just takes time and that doesn't mean we shouldn't be cautious. I think it's always good as a woman to be cautious. And as men too. Women can be scary as well.
- [85:17]
Cassandra
Yeah. But honestly, everybody, men come forward saying that they had. Yeah, everyone, like.
- [85:22]
Interviewer
Yeah, well, you always should have like a little wall up in some boundaries. It's a very scary world, but we can't let things stop us. You know, you can take extra precaution for sure, and we all should. But I have hope that you'll find someone amazing for you.
- [85:38]
Cassandra
Oh, well, thank you. I think so eventually too, but definitely, I would say so. A lot of women have actually come to me saying that they've had a similar situation where they've gone to police in our town and they've been dismissed. They haven't had things investigated and they've been hurt before. So it's very disappointing to hear that that's the type of community we live in. So I am hoping that there are changes that, you know, we as a community come together and realize that we do need to ask more from the police enforcement around us and use your voice and speak up and that, you know, they have a responsibility to protect us and we should make them protect us. Yeah. Because they would definitely want me to be silent about all this.
- [86:29]
Interviewer
But I think, I think too, it's. It reflects on them as kind of like an embarrassment.
- [86:34]
Cassandra
Definitely.
- [86:34]
Interviewer
It's like, oh, well, we couldn't help, so now they're just like being public about it. But I think that a lot of people would just stay silent and be like, oh, well, if they can't help me, then no one can. But you can always be a voice for yourself. And I think that you. This is a perfect example. Example of that. You've shown that. And that's really important because everybody should use their voice where they can because sometimes you're your only advocate, you know?
- [86:56]
Cassandra
Yeah. And I can't even imagine, like, if this man were to have been allowed to stay doing what he was doing, I mean, obviously he was affecting other people, not only me.
- [87:06]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [87:07]
Cassandra
So, yeah, like you said, I really do believe that this was the way it was supposed to work out. Even though, I mean, it's not a great situation. I, um, I still am grateful for everything that's happened. I'm grateful that I wake up safe every single day. Um, Cuz yeah, when I realized who he was, I mean, I was really close to being hurt, that's for sure.
- [87:32]
Interviewer
It's scary. It's a really scary situation, but it's one that's important to talk about. And obviously, I'm so grateful that you wanted to come on here and talk about it seriously. I appreciate it, and I know that there's so many, many girls and women that can relate to it, for sure. You know, it's. It's a scary thing, and it's something that, like I said, I think speaking out about it is one of the most important things you can do, because unfortunately, those resources just aren't there yet. But hopefully, the more people talk about this, you could only hope, the more knowledge that law enforcement would want to have on situations like that to know how to better help and make people feel safe. Because everyone deserves to feel safe and feel like they could be protected.
- [88:12]
Cassandra
Yeah. And I will definitely say, like, if you're somebody who's going through something similar, it'll make you question your reality. It'll make you wonder whether you're being right or not. And I would just say have the confidence to know that what you're going through is real and know that you shouldn't be going through that and trust your gut. Yeah. And even if you're the only one standing up for yourself, do not back down and do not let people tell you to be quiet when you shouldn't be.
- [88:43]
Interviewer
So absolutely.