Podcast Title: We're All Insane
Host: Devorah Roloff
Episode: I Dated a Pedophile
Release Date: May 26, 2025

Introduction

In this poignant and deeply personal episode of We're All Insane, host Devorah Roloff sits down with a guest who bravely shares her harrowing experience of dating a man she later discovered to be a pedophile. This episode delves into the complexities of recognizing abuse, the emotional turmoil of reporting a loved one, and the journey toward healing and advocacy. Through raw and unfiltered storytelling, listeners gain insight into the profound impact such relationships can have and the importance of speaking out against abuse.

The Relationship Begins

1. Meeting Matthew

• Timestamp [19:09]: The guest, now 28, recounts meeting Matthew in early 2020 through the dating app Hinge while she was living a successful life as a stripper in Las Vegas.
• Quote: "I met Matthew in January 2020 on Hinge. We immediately discussed that I would not consider dating long distance or moving anywhere." ([19:11])

2. Early Red Flags

• Timestamp [20:40]: Despite initial red flags, such as Matthew using her real name to contact her in the strip club, she was swept up in the relationship.
• Quote: "He showed up and used my real name to call me to the DJ booth several times. That was a red flag I should have run from." ([20:40])

Recognizing the Abuse

1. Coercion and Control

• Timestamp [25:01]: The guest describes how Matthew began exerting control over her life, from managing her finances to dictating her personal habits.
• Quote: "He timed my showers and toothbrushing, making me feel like I was regressing to a child." ([30:58])

2. Manipulation and Emotional Abuse

• Timestamp [34:24]: Matthew manipulated her by alternating between being sweet and abusive, creating a cycle that made it difficult for her to leave.
• Quote: "One day he was affectionate, and the next day he'd criticize everything I did, making me doubt myself." ([34:24])

3. Sexual Coercion

• Timestamp [41:53]: Sexual coercion became a prevalent issue, with Matthew pressuring her into intimate acts while controlling her every move.
• Quote: "If I resisted, he'd withhold affection for days, making me comply out of fear and desperation." ([43:06])

The Turning Point: Reporting Matthew

1. Discovering Evidence

• Timestamp [56:19]: A turning point occurs when the guest receives a message from a former associate indicating Matthew's inappropriate behavior with a minor.
• Quote: "She sent me a video of them engaging in sexual activities, and another message stated, 'Don't do anything with that. It's considered child pornography.'" ([57:19])

2. Taking Action

• Timestamp [65:30]: Determined to seek justice, she breaks up with Matthew and begins the process of reporting him to authorities.
• Quote: "I contacted the local police and eventually reached out directly to the FBI after realizing the severity of his actions." ([70:04])

The Legal Battle and Sentencing

1. Investigation and Arrest

• Timestamp [80:13]: Following her reports, authorities launch an investigation, uncovering extensive evidence of Matthew's abusive behavior and possession of child pornography.
• Quote: "They arrested him and found numerous incriminating videos on his devices." ([82:09])

2. Court Proceedings

• Timestamp [93:25]: During the court hearing, the guest witnesses Matthew's lack of remorse and the blatant support from his family and friends.
• Quote: "Seeing him making out with his girlfriend in the courtroom, surrounded by supporters who knew nothing of his crimes, was heartbreaking." ([94:10])

3. Verdict and Sentencing

• Timestamp [97:07]: The judge sentences Matthew to 20 years in prison with 10 years of parole, delivering a firm message against his manipulative actions.
• Quote: "The judge saw through his facade and emphasized that Matthew is a genuine danger to society." ([98:52])

Impact and Advocacy

1. Healing and Support

• Timestamp [100:01]: Despite the trauma, the guest finds solace in knowing that her actions helped bring justice and inspired others to come forward.
• Quote: "Reporting him gave me the strength to help others and ensured he couldn't continue his abuse." ([125:34])

2. Ongoing Advocacy

• Timestamp [124:15]: The guest emphasizes the importance of sharing her story to empower other victims and dismantle harmful narratives that excuse abusers.
• Quote: "By sharing my experience, I hope to encourage others to speak up and seek justice." ([124:15])

3. Community Support

• Timestamp [125:32]: The support received online validates her efforts and underscores the collective fight against abuse.
• Quote: "The emotional support from the community has been heartwarming and validating throughout this journey." ([125:32])

Conclusion

In "I Dated a Pedophile," Devorah Roloff provides a platform for a survivor to articulate the complexities of being in an abusive relationship with a predatory individual. The episode highlights the importance of recognizing red flags, the courage required to report abuse, and the collective responsibility to support victims. Through her detailed account, the guest not only sheds light on her personal struggle but also contributes to a broader conversation about preventing and addressing abuse in society.

Notable Quotes:

• "I desperately need their new one piece, the A and F Marina." ([00:00]) [Skipped as advertisement]
• "In 2020, I had the very unfortunate experience of essentially uprooting my life to start a relationship with a man who I later found out was a pedophile." ([00:48])
• "Even though I had people saying, 'Don't keep letting this take over your life,' in the end, I had to find the strength to speak out." ([12:08])
• "Sharing my story is more important than whatever people have to say about it." ([16:31])
• "When you share your story, you're giving others the backbone to stand up and speak out." ([124:49])

Key Takeaways

• Recognizing Abuse: Understanding the subtle signs of manipulation and control in relationships.
• The Importance of Reporting: Taking action against abusers is crucial for personal healing and societal safety.
• Community Support: Building a support network can provide the necessary strength to overcome trauma.
• Advocacy and Awareness: Sharing personal experiences can empower others and contribute to broader social change.

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, it's important to reach out to professionals and support networks for help.