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- [00:00]
A
In case you haven't heard, it's officially in Abercrombie Summer. The A and M Vacation Shop has everything on your packing mood board. I desperately need their new one piece, the A and F Marina.
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B
It's strapless, so flattering and paired with.
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A
Denim shorts will be my go to beach outfit this summer.
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B
Finally.
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A
Your suitcase isn't complete without finding that dress. You know, the one for the photo shoot. Abercrombie's boho dresses have that perfect beachy, romantic look. Make it an Abercrombie Summer shot. Their newest arrivals in store, online and in the app. Summer's here and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well groomed lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana? That's a no. But a banana? That's a yes. A nice tan? Sorry, nope. But a box fan? Happily, yes. A day of sunshine?
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B
No.
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A
A box of fine wines? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details My name is yesenia. In 2020, I had the very unfortunate experience of essentially uprooting my life to start a relationship with a man who I later found out was a pedophile. And this past February I had the very pleasurable experience of witnessing him get sentenced to 20 years in prison after successfully reporting him a second time. And so very long winded background as to why I'm here and why I feel like sharing my story on a larger platform than TikTok. Like why continuing to advocate even after a successful conviction feels so important to me personally. Because when I left Matthew In 2020, I struggled internally, like with the idea of reporting him. Even though in the last few months of our relationship I had started coming to terms with the fact that I was not being treated well and I wasn't feeling good. I still had a very like manipulated idea that he was like this very good person and that he was lied to and like seduced and like all this stuff happened, right? And so I didn't report him in the last few weeks that I spent in Florida. And it wasn't until I got home and I started dealing with the trauma of the like amount of like sexual abuse and manipulation and coercion that I went through in my time with Matthew that I'd kind of been numbing myself to to a certain extent. And I very quickly realized that I was going to continue to face that in the form of harassment. He was reaching out to me on a daily basis and taunting me and holding my belongings over my head, et cetera, et cetera. So that, along with the overwhelming guilt of having not done the right thing, I reported him and I reached out to his parent. And I feel like, for lack of better terms, I was ignored. And my last, like, option was to make a video on TikTok. So I did. It didn't garner a very large audience, but I did gain a comment from somebody saying that they knew of the victim that I was speaking of and that they talked to her about this and that she kind of mentioned that she wanted to report him and that they were still in contact with each other, and she was still feeling like she couldn't do that. And so this is the first realization that I had that, like, I was being willfully ignorant in this situation and that this young teenage girl was not a seductive woman, that Matthew genuinely was a very bad person and that I had not done this person or myself a service. Like, by not reporting him, I'd only benefited him. And so, unfortunately, that realization and the realization that reporting him the first time they made me delete evidence off my phone and et cetera, et cetera. So I kind of felt like this was it, and I just have to live with this overwhelming guilt of, like, not having done the right thing. And this girl had very clearly, like, reached out to me, maybe not screaming for help, but that's what it was, and so whatever. So I never continued advocating. And I just started kind of dealing with the environment that I was thrown back into that I worked very hard to get out of. And that became my forefront of my mind.
- [04:11]
B
And how long was that period after, like, between.
- [04:14]
A
So I left. I left in, like, October, and then I moved straight back home to Chicago, into my childhood home. And so maybe three months. I think three months passed before I reported him, officially got it, and then made the videos pretty directly after, and then just got very beaten down by the trauma of it all and the environment that I was in and et cetera, et cetera. So I stopped advocating in a time where I probably should have been doing it the most. And I didn't realize that until I reported him a second time. And I went through the investigation, and I learned that there was more than this one victim. And I talked to her directly, and I heard about the extent of the abuse that she was facing. And I met the other victims in court, and I saw him and his behavior in court and his family's behavior in court. And so going to dinner after with some of the girls, talking about our experiences and sharing what I had gone through on my side before reporting him. We kind of all collectively agreed that there. I should have kept talking this whole time, but also that there's still this, like, overwhelming sense that there's, like, this importance to get this story out to more than just us four girls. Four or five girls. So we immediately started sharing on Facebook groups and Reddit groups and things that felt relevant to us at the time and, like, the day after sentencing. And we were pretty much immediately met with reports and removals of our posts and whatever, and some not so nice comments from his brother at some point, mostly directed towards me. And more importantly, to get to the point of the reasoning of why I'm here, we received quite a few messages and comments from people on all platforms writing in to say that they were finding comfort in this conviction because they were victims. Whether it be, like, the same type of abuse that the girls faced from Matthew as minors or me as an adult in a relationship with this person. And unfortunately, an overwhelming amount of people reaching out to say that they were victims of Matthews directly. And that was, like, very impactful for me, but also very, like, heavy. And mind you, this has been, like, a few years process, and I'm just now coming this past February, coming to terms with the fact that it's more than three girls, it's more than one girl, it's like 30 of them. And this spans for such a long time, and that it was actively being, like, concealed and hidden and excused by his family this entire time, so that, in terms of the case, felt very impactful and very important to continue kind of sharing our experiences. Personally, for me, I was reached out to quite a few people who are friends and family members of Matthews, and they were involved with him in the time that he was, like, in an active investigation against him, and he was trying to garner people's support for him to show up in court and write, you know, character statements and stuff like that. And the narrative that he was spreading was, like, so vastly, like, dishonest. Like, so, like, insanely dishonest. And of course, because what else are.
- [07:35]
B
You going to do with that?
- [07:35]
A
Oh, 100%. But also just, like, not enough for anybody to say, okay, I'm willing to listen to you, even though you're being federally investigated, but, you know, just. Just very, like, dishonest narratives about my mental stability and the amount of trauma I faced as a kid and the position that I was in life before he met me and how he left me when I left and things like that. And so that along with a lot of things that he said about the victim that we had direct, direct involvement with and her like, involvement in the case and her support of him and her giving him a heads up and things like that. And obviously these were all very dishonest, but. And again, not enough to convince anybody, but it did unfortunately convince a lot of people. A lot of people showed up for this man in court. Just kind of hearing those narratives and hearing what was being said about me and realizing that I didn't take the time to put a different narrative out for people to cross reference or find or whatever. Who's to say they would have anyways? But still, um, I personally feel like I was doing myself a disjustice or disservice in not kind of sharing my experience and kind of letting it beat me down and keep me quiet for the few years in between. And so all of that in combination, it just feels like this is kind of a story that could affect and impact quite a few people. And there's parents who are still reaching out to me who are asking for, you know, tips and ways that they can offer an environment to their kids so that they don't reach out to people online or they don't experience this type of abuse online, et cetera, et cetera. So there's just a large range of people who could find comfort in this and be impacted by this. And there's also a large range of people directly related to him who have no idea of the truth. And also, just in our world, there's a common narrative being spread where it's like, crazy ex girlfriend, she's vindictive, she's doing this for a reason. And so kind of dispelling and like, I guess that's the word dispelling, that kind of ideology that we have and like giving people a reason to kind of think for themselves and use your own discretion and, you know, not just take somebody's word that somebody's doing things out of spite or something like that. So that's not something that I think we talk about enough where it's like, we oftentimes discredit women because we just assume that there's something wrong with them or anybody accusing anybody of a crime. It's very easy for us to write somebody off in what they're saying because we don't think that they're stable. And so I don't know, personally to Me that feels like my personal impact. And so altogether, that's kind of why I'm here today.
- [10:29]
B
I think that it's interesting that you kind of reflected on, like, all the ways that sharing your story can help people. And I always tell people, you know, I think when we think about sharing your story, we think that we're only. At first, we think that we're only going to help people that get it, like, directly get it. But it goes so much more beyond that. I always, always say that even if someone has a polar opposite story than you, we as humans, we have so many similar emotions, feelings, thoughts. And people can relate to that so easily just by hearing what you felt, what you experienced, whether it's before, during, or after. It could be, you know, any point that somebody can feel like they can relate to you.
- [11:13]
A
Yeah.
- [11:14]
B
And it builds a sense of community. But also, I think that there's so many aspects that need to be discussed. Like, you know, we beat ourselves up after the fact, I think, for not speaking up or for staying silent or staying with people that are horrible people. But, you know, at the end of the day, we're only human. And when we care about somebody or we fall in love with someone, naturally what we do is defend them and think, no, it can't be that. You know, it's easier to be in denial than to face a very, very hurtful truth. Um, and, you know, all of those things combined. I think that by not staying silent, of course, I think it's scary. Like we were talking about before, it's scary to speak up. You don't know what people are gonna say. You don't know who's gonna threaten you. You don't know what's gonna happen to you. We live in a very scary world.
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A
Right.
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B
But we also live in a world, thankfully, on the flip side, that when one person speaks up, I almost feel like everybody wants to start speaking up and everybody wants to hop on the bandwagon. Sometimes it's a bad bandwagon, sometimes it's a good one. But at the same time, you know, we live in this world where it's like when something starts getting traction, it's like people don't shut up about it, you know, until something is done. And I feel like your story obviously also shows that even if you are shut down once, and even if you might need that time to, like, be by yourself. Yeah. Gather yourself, get back on track, and then you do it again, it kind of proves that, like, you can get the justice, you know, and even if it Takes multiple times. Don't. Don't let anyone silence you. And there's no reason to be silenced. And of course, you know, it could be a story like this or it could be something more simple and not as, you know, big or something that didn't affect as many people. But regardless, you're always going to be faced in life with people that diminish you and shut you down and tell you that you are mental. I think that is such an easy thing for people to target is mental health. They call you crazy, they call you bipolar, they call you all these different things, you know, because that's the easy thing to do. And what else are they going to do? What else are they going to target, you know, and especially if you're somebody that is vulnerable and was in love with a person, it makes it that much easier to do those things. But I think it's amazing that you're here and that you've already been sharing your story in, you know, in. In ways that you can. And so, quick question. The other girls or victims, are they also speaking out? Are you, like, the only one that's currently speaking out about all of this?
- [13:47]
A
These girls, first of all, are very much so. Like, just coming to terms with the fact that there's. There was this case and there. This person got arrested and this thing that they thought would never come back to haunt them did. They weren't expecting this person to ever get caught, and they certainly weren't expecting the FBI to reach out to them and, like, involve them in investigation and whatever like that. So a lot of them are still dealing with that. They're adults who have been dealing with the trauma that they faced because of that and kind of trying to get through life on their own without acknowledging it openly. I think personally, that's everybody. That's what I've taken from the story that I've received from them. So they're not in a place where they're sharing as openly as I am, but in talking to them directly after the conviction, whatever, there's this general sense of upset that there was evidence of him being a bad person continuously being hid on the Internet, and that they involved themselves with this person. Not themselves, but they were involved with this person and. And et cetera, et cetera. And so because he was already outed and canceled on the Internet, and they were hiding that stuff from them, and the family was paying to have that stuff scrubbed from the Internet, the girls all collectively kind of feel like that's why there's this general importance to like, share the story out loud, but also their victims, and they're just now coming to terms with the fact that they can call what they were facing abuse and that, you know, they're valid and what they were feeling this whole time. And I think their journey and eventually talking about it is a little longer than mine. Yeah. So as of right now, they're all being their young little selves and getting their lives together.
- [15:41]
B
And I was going to say, too, you know, obviously, so many people handle trauma differently, but some people, you know, they don't. They don't want to. I don't say they don't want to face it. I don't think it's that. I think that they don't want to face it publicly.
- [15:54]
A
Yeah.
- [15:55]
B
People. And that's totally fine as well. And yeah, I. I always say, though, you know, people like you that do use your voice on larger platforms, I think that that gives a voice to so many that aren't comfortable with that, you know, doing it themselves. But it's not an easy thing. It takes a lot of, I think, reflection on your own. I think it takes a lot of time to really decide within yourself, like, is this something I want to do? Because in a sense, like, there is no. I don't want to say there's no turning back. You can always just disappear. But, like, you know, when you put something out there, it's like, it usually is there.
- [16:32]
A
People have seen it, and people I know have seen it. So they see it and know it forever.
- [16:36]
B
And I think, to a degree, you have to accept there's going to be a large group of people that support me, and there might be a large group of people that this defines me to them. And you almost have to be okay with both of those things. And I think that that takes a different type of healing in your journey. So you should be very proud of yourself that you're okay with, you know, and obviously, that doesn't mean it's easy. I don't want to think that, like, mean comments are easy, because they're not. Yeah, but you are making a decision to be. Like, sharing my story is more important than whatever the people have to say about it, you know?
- [17:07]
A
Yeah. And, like, when. So when I moved home after this and I, like, very vaguely told my family what happened and kind of my experience with him, I dealt with a lot of this on my own. I have a very loving and supporting family. They're just not very affectionate and, like, comforting, I guess. So a lot of this has been, like, coming to terms with and consoling myself and trying to find the confidence in myself to admit what happened to me and these other people without feeling, like, embarrassed or guilty or worried about people perceiving me. And so especially after, like, I had already kind of felt that way in myself when I reported him for the second time. Even though I had people saying, like, don't keep letting this, like, take over your life. And, you know, this isn't like your necessarily your problem because I wasn't a minor and I wasn't a victim. Right. But over time, it just, it got to a point where it's like, I. I don't. I work for myself. I don't have, like, co workers I have to go to work with every day. I don't see my family on a daily basis. It's really just like on holidays and things like that. And so at the end of the day, if people are asking me and, you know, encouraging me to speak up about something that benefits them, and I really don't have to come into terms with or like, contact with people who are not going to be supportive so much. And I've also spent the last three years, three, four years, very much so, like, training myself to not be embarrassed or care. Then I'm happy to do that and I'm happy to provide myself as a vessel to share information about this person. So I definitely don't think I would be if they didn't vocalize that, you know, that's something that felt important to them. And then especially if they didn't start doing that and then immediately start getting reported and removed, that that, like, fueled my fire. I was like, okay, now I'm gonna really talk. Yeah.
- [19:07]
B
Okay, so give me the. How old are you now?
- [19:09]
A
I'm 28.
- [19:10]
B
Okay, and when did you meet this person?
- [19:12]
A
20. 20.
- [19:13]
B
Okay.
- [19:14]
A
Early 20s.
- [19:14]
B
So give us the background, the rundown.
- [19:18]
A
So I moved to Vegas.
- [19:20]
B
Okay.
- [19:20]
A
By myself. Well, I had originally moved to Vegas with a guy. This is a common theme in my life. But I had moved to Vegas with a guy and that didn't work out. I just never saw them. So I moved home for a month and then got myself settled in Vegas by myself. And I was living a very successful stripper life. Love that. And I was happy. I was great. I had friends and I was doing things and I was sober. And, you know, I felt like, very proud of myself for being in this crazy environment, whatever. And so I very much so did not want a relationship.
- [19:52]
B
Yeah.
- [19:52]
A
Or to move or anything of the sort. I met Matthew January of 2020 on Hinge. And we immediately discussed that I would not consider dating long distance or moving anywhere. And so assuming that I was carrying on a very casual conversation with this stranger on Hinge and that it going to go nowhere, I was telling him information about what it's like to be a stripper and my name at work and all this stuff. And so little did I know he was going to show up and use my real name to call me to the DJ booth several times. And so that was kind of like my first, like, red flag that I should have just like, ran in the other direction, but I didn't. It was very wholesome meeting, which is odd to say you're in the middle of a strip club. But he was very nice, very sweet. And then.
- [20:41]
B
And was he living in Vegas or.
- [20:42]
A
No. So he was just visiting Vegas for a softball tournament.
- [20:46]
B
Got it. Okay.
- [20:47]
A
So I met up with him like the last two days that he was there. And pretty much like the last day that we were there got me very drunk and we went on. On a date and whatever. And he was very like, I don't want to spend any less time with you and I don't think I'm going to see you again. And I got very swept up and in this, like, idea of this, like, person who just like, has to, you know, make the best of this moment and unfortunately spent the night with him where he essentially coerced me several times into doing things with him while there was a person sleeping in the bed next to him from his softball team. And so this is like the first moment where it's like, I realized that I was deeply, like, not in a good place mentally. And that's what made it so easy for him to kind of pick up on things. Yeah. And so, like, that night, it was very evident that I was uncomfortable and I was sad and upset that this thing had happened. So the next morning it was like, I'm so sorry. Like, I just couldn't say sorry no to you. And like, I was hoping I could make it more special. But you just kept trying and like, as if it was my idea, as if I had just, like, made myself too hard to say no to. And 23 at the time, I for some reason was like, you're right, you're right, I did that. And you're a great person. And I'm just being this crazy person. So I let that kind of go. And so from there, January 2020, I visited Matthew. February, March. And in that time, he was continuously trying to get me to love Florida. And in the premise of, like, moving with him. And every time it was like, I don't want a relationship, and I don't want to do this. And then Covid hit, and the clubs closed down, and everything else started shutting down, and my leasing office started emailing people about whether or not they were going to pay their rent. And it was very scary. And obviously they couldn't have threatened me and they shouldn't have been. But in the time having just, like, the first time I'm living by myself in a state where I know nobody and whatever. And so him kept picking up on that, and, you know, seeing how that made me nervous, he very much so, like, laid into it and was like, you know, like, this is not safe for you. This is not a safe area. This is not a safe state. You're. You're not going to be able to do anything, and et cetera, et cetera. And so this over, like, the last. The next two months or month, I guess it was. Was, like, overwhelming. And it got to a point where I was just like, I don't know what I'm going to do. Yeah, I don't want to move home. Like, that's, like, the worst thing that I could do to myself. And so what, like, started as him, like, just casually emailing my leasing office to see what they'd be willing to do about less rent or ending a lease earlier so that I.
- [23:46]
B
Was that his decision?
- [23:48]
A
Yes, well, it was. Can I do this? And I said, we can message them to see what I could do to get out of my lease earlier so that I could find a cheaper apartment. And then that became, well, the cheaper apartments are in the very seedy part of Las Vegas. You can't do that. And so all of this in connection and eventually him being signed into my email and all this stuff just started when you barter. Started trying to barter my lease agreement down so that I could pay out to end my lease.
- [24:19]
B
Okay.
- [24:20]
A
And so then I'm, like, reading my emails, and I'm realizing, like, he's asking them to end my lease early. What I have to pay for that. And we got into a little spat about that. And then it was like this very, like, you're getting upset over nothing, and you're. You're scared, and I understand that, but I'm going to take care of you. And, like, I have a home, and I have this dog, and I just want this woman to come and make a house for me. And, like, yeah, coming from a home, that, again, was Like, I didn't have, like, the mom and dad figure. I had Grandma and grandma who were very loving and supportive, but not very affectionate. That's just kind of something that's very easily for me where I'm like, that's all I want. Okay. That's all I want. I'll go, okay.
- [25:02]
B
Yeah. And I like something I want to mention and pause and say, because I think that this is, like, so important to mention. Not only, like, it's. First of all, I always tell people, you never have to explain yourself when it comes to, like, okay, when you're a young girl, like, I don't care what anybody says. I think majority just want love. They want to feel love. We see these movies, we see the Notebook. Like, everybody wants love. And like, okay, your story was a little different. It was a strip club scene.
- [25:31]
A
But, like, who fucking cares?
- [25:33]
B
But, like, I just. I think that as women like Kai, we're different than men. Like, we want to see the best in people. We're forgiving. I think that if you're shown something or told something, you believe it. And I think, too, especially when you're in. And I speak in a similar. I say this from even my own perspective. You can be in a place where you're doing very well, but at the end of the day, you're alone. You're on your own. Like, who doesn't want a companionship? Who doesn't. Like, even if you're telling yourself and other people, like, don't want to date, like, at the same time, if that is presenting itself and it's kind of like, pushing at you, eventually, in my opinion, you're gonna be like, okay. Like, this is the right thing. Like, let me let it in. And also, I don't care how many times somebody shows you a red flag. It takes, like. In my opinion, it takes many people, like, hundreds of millions of those to eventually be like, this is bad. And sometimes you don't really gather them all and see them all until you're out of it.
- [26:35]
A
Yeah.
- [26:35]
B
So a lot of people, I think, beat themselves up about that. Or they're like, even people, especially with, you know, a situation where people are sharing it on the Internet, I think people are quick to judge and be like, oh, well, you should have seen, or this, that, and the other. No, no, no. Because when you are like, love is blinding.
- [26:51]
A
Yeah.
- [26:51]
B
And you want the best. No one goes into something wanting it to blow up, wanting it to be manipulative and bad. And I think a lot of times we convince ourselves that somebody's doing something because they care, not because they're trying to sabotage or ruin or be manipulative.
- [27:07]
A
And I think just in our society we kind of raise women or have at least like how my grandma was raised and how they raised me was very much to be a caretaker and to be a carer and a helping person and, you know, a supporter and to not always, like, see people as the worst that they could possibly be. And then also I was raised in a family that was very concerned and overly predictive of the worst possible thing happening. And so that combined was just very hard for me to be like, I would be in situations with this person where I was like, this is not right. And we would argue about those things. And then at the end of the day I would stay. And like, that's still a very hard concept for people I tell to understand. I when I uploaded this on TikTok, I think I got one comment, thank God from some crazy butt talking about like, oh, so you had like multiple signs so you're not a victim. Like you had multiple chances to leave it. Yeah, and I, I did. And in every moment of those chances I was aware of them and I was like, I should take these this episode is brought to you by Stay Farm. Knowing you could be saving money for the things you really want is a great feeling. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. Craftsman days are here at Lowe's with big savings on the tools you need. Save $100 on the Craftsman V26 Tool Power Tool Combo Kit now at $199 no matter what the project is. Craftsman's high quality, high performance products empower you to build on. Stop by your nearest Lowe's store and check out the full line of Craftsman tools today valid through 618 while supplies last. Selection varies by location and for whatever reason it was the excuses and the apologies and the like knowing exactly what I am like generally looking in light, looking for in life and what like triggers me to stay was very easily to like decipher and to use against me.
- [29:25]
B
But I don't think people realize also.
- [29:26]
A
Just the fact that I had moved to a different state with this person in the middle of a pandemic at 23 years old.
- [29:32]
B
Yeah, not even just that, but I think the Idea. People don't realize, like, it takes a certain. I think. And some people don't even reach this at any point in their life. But, you know, it really does truly come with age of, like, having full independence and being able to, like, stand your ground and be like, I can be on my own.
- [29:50]
A
Oh, yeah. Like, I had never had. Yeah. Like, that's.
- [29:53]
B
And even though, like I said, you were on your own and before him and you were doing fine and, like, doing well, when something comes in and kind of sweeps you off your feet and you experience that, I don't think many women or even men are, especially at that age, are in a place where they can just cut somebody off and be on their own. It takes a certain level of, I think, different experiences and growth and age and understand so many different factors. People don't realize that.
- [30:18]
A
Yeah.
- [30:18]
B
So.
- [30:19]
A
Well, in anything, you have a bad friend and it will take you years to be. It will take you years of buildup and to cut them off to the last, worst possible thing. And this was it for me. It was, like, one thing when it was like, things were happening to me that I couldn't put a stop to or I was vocalizing. And it was a totally different thing when I was aware that this was one, against the law and two, done to somebody who's like, yeah. Severely unable to, like, defend themselves and, like, put themselves in the right mindset to make these decisions. So, yeah, altogether, it's just, I do think, like, there's not enough understanding towards us as women.
- [30:58]
B
So he did the apartment thing.
- [31:00]
A
Yeah. So. Okay. So, yeah, so then that was all, like, set away. And I essentially, like, had like, 10 email arguments with these, like, leasing office that I'm reading. And I'm like, I cannot walk into this leasing office and be like, my boyfriend, who's not my boyfriend, did that. And so I just signed off on it. And I paid the money, which was not. We didn't talk it down much. I paid, like, nearly two grand to get on my lease early.
- [31:30]
B
Right.
- [31:32]
A
And it's this whole, like, I'm gonna get a truck, and we don't have to, like, move with movers. Cause that's too expensive. We're gonna get a truck, and we're gonna drive everything. You're just gonna have to get rid of a few things. And then he's like, at my house, and he's like, you don't need this. You don't need this. Like, I don't have room for that in my house. I don't have room for that. So I'm like, I've gotten rid of all my stuff. I've you now. Like, he had rented the car initially, and then as we start driving, I'm paying for the gas, I'm paying for the food, I'm paying for the hotels. And that's, like, one thing, because I feel like I don't drive. I've never driven. I don't know how. And we had invited my friend Becca with us to take on some of the driving. And so I felt like, you know, I'm adding a person to it. Like, I don't want him to have to pay for her food and her hotel and all that stuff. So I kept making excuses for this, even though I had been told that these things were going to be taken care of. It just, like, he had done this a few times where, like, once before, he had, like, been like, oh, like, come fly out and see me, and I'll buy you a ticket home, and you won't have to worry about it. And then I get there, and he'd be like, I actually didn't get you a return flight. Like, that's on you. I don't want you to leave. So you have to figure that out for yourself if you want to so bad. And then that would be, like, held over my head that I wanted to go back to my home. So it was things like that where it was like, he'd say something and then I'd fall for it, and then it would be switched around last minute to some kind of sob story. My business is not doing well. You know, I just, like, thought I could cover this move, but I can't. But everything's fine once we get back to the house. And, like, I can, like, put down some work and whatever. And so whatever. I covered the cost of the van, and I covered the cost of the move and all that stuff. And I thought, that's okay because I'm in a relationship where we're gonna make sacrifices for each other for this big home and lovely picture. And so maybe, like, the first month was okay. He was very sweet and, like, affectionate. It was very different in the sense that, like, I had just been a stripper, and suddenly I've, like, moved with this person who's now uncomfortable with the fact that I was once a stripper, which, like, he never vocalized at first. And so then, like, there was this constant bringing up, like, my history, and I'm like, I may have been a stripper. I may have been. Let's not forget, he came There exactly, for one. And he's just a heathen in general. But it was just like this. I don't know, it was very weird thing to kind of put myself into terms with. I also wasn't, like, super promiscuous or anything like that in my time as a stripper, so it just kind of felt like, I don't know, like, I had to, like, prove myself to this person, that I am, like, this, like, homemaker person, and I'm not, like, this party girl. I wasn't. I never was. I was just doing this for the money.
- [34:24]
B
So he would just bring it up a lot.
- [34:26]
A
A lot. And then other times, it would be like, I'm so appreciative that you had, like, did that because you are so independent and you don't rely on me for things, and, like, I can ask you to do things and you're okay with doing them on your own and things like that. And so it was very, like, conflicting, where it was, like, so happy that you were independent and you could cover the cost of your move out here, but also, like, you used to be a. And I don't like that. And I'm like, okay, that was, like, the initial thing, and that was kind of all I was dealing with in terms of things not being super healthy for the last. For the first, like, month or two.
- [34:57]
B
Yeah.
- [34:58]
A
And then, obviously, I found his little business card for the Bachelorette hidden, tucked behind a magnet on the fridge. And I'm like, why do you have a calling card for the Bachelorette? And the first day, he tells me the story about, like, how he was in LA la and some lady walked up to him and gave him this card and asked, if, like, you ever want to be on the show, please let us know. And then I had received a text message from my ex, who I'd originally moved to Vegas with. And it was like, an article link. And I didn't open it because I'm like, shut up. Like, you just don't want me to move on. And. But I did bring it up to him again, and I was like, the Bachelorette. Like, what happened there? And so he admits that he had, like, matched with this girl, and they had, like, talked, and she.
- [35:46]
B
So he was on the show?
- [35:47]
A
Yeah, he was supposed to be okay.
- [35:49]
B
But he didn't go okay.
- [35:50]
A
He got canceled. And then he was removed the day before filming.
- [35:54]
B
And that's. Is this what that article said?
- [35:56]
A
Yes. Yeah. And so this. So he had been casted on the show, and they released, like, pictures of the contestants and Then some girl on Twitter said, this guy's been harassing me in my DMs for the last three years. And it went viral. And then other people in the comments. Yeah. Then they kicked him off the show. And then it went viral, like, even more after that.
- [36:13]
B
Got it.
- [36:14]
A
And so then they started scrubbing that information from the Internet. So that's why it wasn't super easy to find. Like, they pushed the articles down and stuff like that.
- [36:22]
B
Okay.
- [36:23]
A
And so his whole reasoning and excuse for this, which, again, I, like, don't know what I was thinking in the time where I'm hearing this. And I. I was, like, being very vocal with him, like, no, you're an idiot. And this was wrong. But I also wasn't like, I'm gonna leave because of this. Yeah. Even though he had hid it from me and lied the day before. But anyway, so his whole excuse is that, you know, this girl ghosted him. He felt like he deserved an answer, so he kept reaching out. And that after he got canceled and defended himself, and then got canceled again for defending himself, he kind of came to the realization, like, why what he did was wrong. And, like, all this extra stuff about this super big repentance that he had done because this thing had happened and, like, how it was, like, the worst time of his life and he wanted to kill himself and his mom had to, like, buy him a bunch of stuff and send him things every day and get him in therapy and all this stuff. Right. And so I just, like, was, first of all embarrassed that he was even gonna be on the Bachelorette. I was like, I don't wanna talk about this anymore.
- [37:27]
B
Hilarious.
- [37:29]
A
And so, unfortunately, I didn't read that article. I didn't look at the things that he had been saying. I just took his word as like, men are stupid, and sometimes they're aggressive when they don't get their way or the response that they're looking for. And so, unfortunately, I made that excuse for him and stayed. And so then again, things were off and on. It was very good, and then it was very bad. And it would always be like, my phone, what I was doing on my phone, who I was talking to, if I uploaded pictures or anything on Instagram one day, like, you're so beautiful and I'm so lucky. And the next day it'd be like, why do you need the attention? Why are you looking for validation from people? Like, everybody's online right now. It's Covid now. You're, like, uploading twice as much things like that. And so I got very reserved at the only thing that I would really share with anybody was me and him. That was all I would upload. I was always allowed to upload without getting shit for it. And so.
- [38:30]
B
And then did you get another job when you moved down there?
- [38:33]
A
That was the other thing is like three months in, I paint casually for self soothing purposes. And he was very like aggressive with trying to get me to sell my art, which is like somebody who like sits down with like a little wine and they like throw paint on a paper. I'm not like trying to sell my art or like list it online or have anybody have opinions on it or anything like that. And so I don't know, it just put me in a very uncomfortable position. I started applying for jobs and interviewing back to back in the middle of COVID and that was just a very uncomfortable process. And he would like make me so uncomfortable. He would like, I'd buy all these things for these interviews and whatever and then I'd be like, okay, like this is the time. And he'd be like, well, you expect me to get there? Like get you there in the middle of COVID Like there's not like really Uber. There is, but it's like few and far between to get one. And I just also didn't feel comfortable like getting in people's Ubers when a whole pandemic is going on. And so he'd be like, you know, oh, I'm. I'm expected to get you there and pick you up. And then I'd like be waiting outside this job interview, waiting for him to come pick me up after I just interviewed with people and like waiting an hour for somebody to come get me. And it was just very like, I don't know, like it, it was always like presented to me in a way where it's like I'm not doing enough and I'm not sacrificing enough or being understanding enough. Like I can't show up and drop you off and be there and whenever you need me to. But you need to keep applying to jobs and you need to keep interviewing and you need to keep doing these things. And so I was like very conflicted with that, very stressed out with that. So eventually I started selling my art to friends and family. And then that was like a consistent thing where he was like constantly like, you're now you have to like sit and paint, like do something, paint more, do this and that. Then that turned like once we started getting stimulus checks and stuff that turned into redoing his office for him, like decorating it. And so now I had this whole project and I was paying for all these like home improvement things, not just in the office, but in general. And everything was like, you don't have a job, you're not doing enough. Like they're giving you this money. You're not, you don't need it for anything. So like, you should be putting it into the house and you should be paying bills and you should be doing this, this and this. Right? And so thinking like, you're right, like we should both be equal in this living arrangement. Right? That's what I did. And so I was giving him money and I was doing all this housework and I was, you know, fixing things and whatever. And then that's kind of when it was like this sexual coercion and stuff like that started to rear its butt back in. It really was only that one night where he coerced me. And then from there, like everything felt very romantic and fine. And then at some point it was like very aggressive and painful and I would vocalize that and he would not say anything. And it would get to the point where like, we're in the middle of stuff and I'm like, I don't know what else to say at this point. Yeah, just let you ride this out and I'm going to sit here like a participant. And that was very uncomfortable. It got to a point where like I'd be doing things and I look and I'd realize I was being filmed.
- [41:54]
B
And he never said any, like never.
- [41:56]
A
Asked or anything like that. It was just so like, then obviously like maybe like the third time he'd done this, I like brought it up and I was like, I don't think that you're doing this to be a toxic person, but I need you to know, like, this is something that very not good people do. And like, if we're gonna have like a respecting relationship, like, I need you to have the respect. Asked me if I'm okay with things or like what I'm willing to work with. And was he doing his phone or.
- [42:26]
B
Like a computer okay.
- [42:27]
A
On his phone?
- [42:27]
B
So he would like set his phone up.
- [42:30]
A
Sometimes it would already be set up or we'd be doing things and then I would look up and it would be filming. And I just hadn't noticed that he had like had his phone in his hand waiting for the moment that I wasn't paying attention and so.
- [42:44]
B
And what did he say when you said this to him?
- [42:46]
A
You got naked for millions of people on stages. You've done this, you've done that. And, like, why is it so uncomfortable for you that your boyfriend that you live with wants videos with you? And I tell him, like, well, first of all, we live together, and you make me do this to you every day. Every day, nonstop.
- [43:06]
B
But also, like, so where.
- [43:07]
A
When are you watching these things anyways? Right?
- [43:11]
B
There's that, and there's also, like, just the normalcy of like, hey, babe, can we film this so that I can watch?
- [43:16]
A
Yeah, can. And that's like. That's the whole thing is like. And I would tell him this, like, if this felt like something that was so important to you, that this is what, like, you need to feel good. I am a loving partner enough to say there are things that I can work with as long as we put down things in place that I know that, like, this is not going to go somewhere else.
- [43:35]
B
Yeah, there's respect there.
- [43:37]
A
And so in every time, it would just be like, well, you have to bear with me. Like, I'm learning these things. You're the only girlfriend who's ever, like, put me in this place where I have to, like, reprimand myself and, like, keep track of what I'm doing wrong, whatever. Like, you have to give me some space to, like, allow myself to do that. So that was, like, the consistent thing. I'd get yelled at for being on my phone. I'd get. And we'd stop and I'd say, listen, what you are asking me to do right now, while you're valid, your feelings may be valid that I'm not here present with you. You asking me to not be on my phone when you're ready to speak to me or when you're ready to do something is not a comfortable thing for me, and it's not healthy. And I'm not gonna stay and deal with that. And it would be like, this whole, like, cr. Crying fit. And my mom and my dad, they didn't spend time together like this. And that's why it's so important to me. And every time I'd be like, and I understand that, and I'm going to try harder to be the person that you're asking me to be. But I also just want you to, like, ask me, like, I just want to be considered a person in this household that has, like, the right to an opinion of something. Right? And so that was that. It continued, especially with the, like, abusive side of sex. It got to a point where, like, if I would put up a fight, I just, like, wouldn't get affection. For a few days. And then when we would start doing stuff, he'd start getting aggressive. And if I put up a fight, it would like, immediately turn and obviously, like, you're being intimate with somebody and they're like whole energy changes because you're saying no to something that's very, like, jarring in the moment. So that was like a common thing that I kind of struggled with. And it just kind of got to this point where I felt like my job here is to, like, be a pleaser to this person. And so I didn't put too much of a fight up with that. At some point, especially towards the end, it got very easy to just like, not put up a fight because me, like, vocalizing this and then being turned down or like going a week without communication or like, acknowledgement was like, so stressful to me that I was like, I'd rather just like, let this happen. And so that was like, very struggling. There were times where the things he would make me do would literally be, like, life threatening. Like things in a car while we're moving, while he's driving, and things in an Airbnb backyard while my family's sitting inside. And so obviously there were times in the situations where I would put my foot down and again, I would just like, not be acknowledged for the next few days. I would just deal with. And it was like, more and more towards the end, I would like, really start, like, this is not okay. I'm not okay with this. And it's like affecting me and my emotions and whatever. And so it would just cause fights between us. And so towards the end, we were like, very combative with each other. And I definitely started coming to terms with the fact that, like, this was not a long lasting relationship. This wasn't my first forever home.
- [46:42]
B
And how long were you guys together at this point from.
- [46:46]
A
So I was with him from January till October. And so this is. This point is probably like, June, July.
- [46:52]
B
Okay.
- [46:53]
A
And so July.
- [46:54]
B
This all happened pretty fast.
- [46:55]
A
Oh, it was very fast. Very fast. And that's kind of why, like, people, they're like, you, you weren't manipulated. You weren't abused. I went from two months saying, I don't want this, I don't want this to, okay, let me just give everything up and I'll pay $3,000 to move and I'll give you all of my money and I'll do you say, and people really don't comprehend the fact that I come from a house, a family of women who have been through experiences with people who have not been nice to them. I've been very lucky to not have to face those experiences on my own. This is the first and only experience that I've had with somebody who's abusive. I went into it knowing, like, this is what abuse looks like. This is what this is. And da, da, da, da. And like, one. It wasn't just that picture that we have of abuse. There's more that goes into that that we kind of tell people, like, that's not abuse. That that doesn't count. Right. And that I was discrediting for that reason.
- [47:51]
B
I think that when somebody's using their past and their family and their trauma as an excuse as to why they're acting a certain way, I think that it kind of makes you think that it's not abusive.
- [48:04]
A
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
- [48:05]
B
You know, like, you're gonna feel bad for the person and be like, okay, they're this way because of this, because.
- [48:09]
A
Something happened to them. And that's kind of. And I would also, like, look at myself and look at my. And, like, my family experiences, and I'd be like, you know what? Like, people hurt. People act like this. And that's why he's acting like. Yeah. And it was very easy to make those excuses, even though I was going in it with knowledge that I thought I had that would, like, prevent me from falling into this trap. And people don't really understand the fact that even with that knowledge going into it, like, you can still be very susceptive to being manipulated and controlled and et cetera, et cetera. It's. It's really not that hard to do once you figure out what makes a person work and what they're looking for and what scares them the most. And so it was very easy for him to do so. Yeah. In that very short time span, he was, like, manipulating me into various things and just kind of working me like a hound in various ways. Right. So July my. I got to a point where I was. My showers were being timed, My toothbrushing was being timed. No, he had, like, this thing. So I smoke weed. Why? I self. I self medicate and smoke weed. So that was, like, the big thing for him, which he knew prior to me moving with him. And I had stopped for the first few. Three months, first of all. Because you can't find it in Florida anywhere. Yeah. Then I had kind of started because I was coming to the realization that I was, like, not doing well mentally because of what I was dealing with. Not that I made that connection, but I was like, I need to Need, I need to start smoking. I need to do something to like, calm down, calm down from what I'm feeling every day. And so I started doing that. And that's kind of when he would like, make comments about my body and how fat I was and how I dressed and how I smelled and my personal hygiene. And I, I think I take pretty good care of myself for the most part. My grandma taught me how to bathe myself and brush my teeth and do all those things perfectly fine. I, I had somebody there to teach me those things. Even though he likes to tell people that I didn't. He would just like, it would be anything. It would. I would be br. My teeth. And he'd be like, you're not doing that long enough. Like dentists say you're supposed to do it for this many minutes. Da, da, da, da, da. And it started as a joke and then it genuinely would be timing me. And then even that would be like. And then like, go, right? And then it got to a point where it was like, get up. Like we have somewhere to go. And I'd get up and I'd like. And he'd be like, no, go back to the bathroom and finish brushing your teeth. And I'm like a little 8 year old. Like, you're right.
- [50:38]
B
And same with the showers.
- [50:39]
A
And the same with the showers under the premise that like, like we were using too much water. And when I would wash the dishes, even though he had a dishwasher, it was turn the water off in between. And everything was very like, you are making my life harder. And I'm going to nitpick at all the ways that you're making my life harder or like that I don't like you being here. And so that also just kind of caused me to kind of make myself very small and try to conform to this like, helpful person that he wanted me to be. And so it was either time showers or showers with him. I really didn't have much time away from him. And even when I did, like, when he would leave the house, I was on surveillance, he was on the camera and he would speak to me through the camera. So like, I knew he was always watching. And there would be multiple times where like, never left the house, don't know how to drive, right? You're cheating on me, I think you're cheating on me, like you're inviting people over, etc. Etc. And so I knew that I was being watched all the time. It was just this constant, like, I'm never away from this person. And When I am, they're there. And so, yeah, just all of that felt very controlling. In July, it had like, reached its peak for me and I reached out to my aunt and she organized like a month long vacation for her family to rent an Airbnb that we could like, like, you know, stay together. And because it's again, quarantine, we weren't trying to like be out out. And so we had all agreed that we were, they were going to come stay with us at first. And then right up until like the month before their trip, he's like, no, maybe they should get an Airbnb. Like, it's just a house, it's just small and could be too crowded and all this stuff. So then I had to tell them to get an Airbnb. And. And that was fine. She was already considering it, but it was just the like, random switch up. And I decided that since that there was that switch up, like, I still wanted to stay with them overnight. So I spent the week with them in their Airbnb and he drove me all the way there and he dropped me off and spent the day with my family. And you know, like, we played hide and seek in the backyard and it was super sweet and they all loved him and everybody thought he was great. And he went home that night and I just like never heard from him. Like, he never responded my message or anything like that. And again, like, it never really crossed my mind that something was going on because I like, the first opportunity I have to like, be around family and that's like the moment you're gonna use just felt like too skeevy for me. So I didn't think of anything of it. And he was there like the day after and the day after. And then eventually I obviously went home after that week and everything was new. The bedding was new, the towels were new, like, all this stuff was new. He had like gotten this like, home thing, like the ottoman thing that I had asked, like the ottoman tray or whatever that I had asked for. And that he'd kind of been putting a fight up about, like just different things where he was like, I just feel like I want to make you comfortable and I like understand that I haven't been like, super nice and like, like I'm really struggling with like how to behave correctly in a way that doesn't make you feel uncomfortable and like, just want you to know, like, I'm actively working towards that and like, I really love you. All that stuff. Right? No, he had just had somebody in the house, so he had to change the sheets and change the. The towels and all the other stuff because he was sure that he was going to get caught up. So, anyways, I hadn't known that. That month passed. I had a friend over, and I was finding, like, little socks in my house. And it's like, stuff couch and, like, gray hair ties, and I only use brown ones. And I'm like, am I crazy? I think I'm crazy. And I fully, like, convinced myself that I was. That I was just, like, making these things up and that these must be my socks.
- [54:33]
B
Did you ever mention it to him?
- [54:34]
A
Yeah.
- [54:34]
B
Okay.
- [54:35]
A
And he was like, yeah, every time. It was like, it's. I literally don't know. But I'm here with you all the time. You've been here this whole time? Like, I don't know what you think. Do you need the password to my camera now? Is that what you need to, like, trust me? And I'm like, oh, my God, forget I even said anything.
- [54:51]
B
Yeah.
- [54:53]
A
And I dropped it, especially because I was getting treated nicely again. And so for that first. That first two months after that, he was very sweet and very loving. There were little things I would, like, call family, and he would, like, get upset that I was spending too much time on face times with them and things like that. But that was really it. It was just like, you're not spending enough time with me. You're not spending enough active time with me. And then so I got very comfortable again, and I got very, like, this is nice, and this person's so sweet, and I love this relationship. We started, you know, doing some more home remodels and stuff like that. And there were a few little instances of some not so great things happening in between there. But for the most things, most part, things had kind of calmed down. And then one night, I'm sitting there on the couch. Well, I'm sitting on the kitchen floor after fully painting the kitchen, the cabinets for this man, and I get a message from this girl who had followed me like, a month earlier, and I'd never thought anything of it. And I'm on FaceTime with my best friend, and I'm like, oh, like, I have a bad feeling about this message. And she's like, it's probably nothing. It's probably nothing. And I open it, and surely enough, it's like, hey, sorry to come to you about this, but. And I immediately freak out.
- [56:20]
B
And was he home at the time?
- [56:21]
A
No, he had gone out. He had, like, gotten himself all dressed and ready. This is the other thing I Don't know where he was that night when I texted him, but he probably was not out with the boys like he said he was. But so she texted me just like, hey, like I know you live with Matthew. I found your page on TikTok because I had like shared like a home improvement video of the office that I had redecorated. And she was like, I've been waiting for the moment to reach out to you, but I just wanted to let you know, like, Matt cheated on you while you were away. And so that was jarring enough for me. But knowing full well how he was going to talk to me and react when he got home, if I, I had confronting him, I was like, I need evidence, like I need pictures, I need timestamps, I need whatever you have. Like that's all I'm looking for right now. And so she sent me a video of them engaging in sexual activities.
- [57:18]
B
Was it in your house? Yeah, okay.
- [57:20]
A
Yeah, yeah, in the bed that I had rearranged and decorated. And it was just a very quick video and then it like a screenshot, it exited out and you could see kind of the gallery of somebody's Snapchat and there's a bunch of videos. And so I'm like, this is insane. And so that was enough for me. And then right before I block her, she messages me again and says, don't do anything with that. It's considered child pornography.
- [57:51]
B
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- [59:50]
A
The new McCrispy strip is here. Dip approved by Ketchup Tangy Barbecue Honey mustard, honey mustard, Sprite, McFlurry Big Mac sauce, Double dipped in buffalo and Ranch More ranch apple and creamy chili McCrispy strip dip now at McDonald's. Does it ever feel like you're a marketing professional just speaking into the void? Well, with LinkedIn ads you can know you're reaching the right decision makers. You can even target buyers by job title, industry, company seniority skills. Wait, did I say job title yet? Get started today and see how you can avoid the void and reach the range right buyers. With LinkedIn ads, we'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Get started at LinkedIn.com results. Terms and conditions apply. And I am like, what the fuck are you talking about? And then I'm like, oh my God, the FBI are going to show up to my house right now.
- [60:44]
B
When she said that, did you understand why she was saying that?
- [60:48]
A
I did.
- [60:49]
B
Okay.
- [60:50]
A
I still was like, how old are you?
- [60:52]
B
Right?
- [60:52]
A
And so she had said she was 18 at that time, but that they had had sex when I think she said when she was 16 in the messages. I don't remember what the message said it exactly, but that they had.
- [61:04]
B
Was he.
- [61:05]
A
He's. He was 33 at this time. At this point, we had just celebrated his 33rd birthday. So after she confirmed that she was had been underage when they had had sex, I blocked her feeling like now this is not an appropriate conversation. This is not like on a grown adult and like you've been cheating on my man. Tell me more. Yeah, this is me talking. Was talking to like a child and I was like, I can't, like I can't do that. I can't carry on this conversation with this person because it just doesn't feel appropriate anymore. And then I'm, like, freaking out about the. On my phone, and my friend Becca's like, don't delete it yet. Like, we don't know what we're gonna do with that. Like, whatever. So I didn't. And I sent him a screenshot of, like, the original initial message where she just said that he had cheated on me. And he. Like, I think I had mentioned in the message, like, and she's a child. And that's all I sent to him. And he, like, rushed home, and he came home, and he's, like, bawling his eyes out, and he's like, I didn't even know I wasn't even gonna come because I was, like, gonna kill myself and all this stuff. And I have my friend on FaceTime. I really laid into him, and I'm just going off on and on about, like, how much of a piece of shit he is and all this stuff. And he keeps mentioning his guns and all this stuff. So I'm, like, telling her in the middle of this argument. Argument, like, I need to get out of here. And so, literally, my friend had visited me, like, three months prior to that. And, like, matched with somebody on hinge, that person came and picked me up that night. Complete stranger. But I just knew that, like, he was saying these things as a way to threaten me or make me feel unsafe, whether it was for my life or for his, and that I needed to get out of there. And so I spent the next two days at this person's house trying to, like, decipher what I was feeling and working through this narrative that he had told me. And on one hand, it was like, I was on Tinder, and this girl lied about her age. And we had this whole conversation. Then we met up and we had sex. And then she told me that she was underage. And then maybe I continued it and I shouldn't have, and that was wrong. And I admit that. And then he. And then I continue laying in him, and he'd be like, but she was already having sex. She was already having sex. It wasn't like I was her first or anything like that. She was already being promiscuous. And so I, like, listen to this narrative that he was giving me. And I'd be like, he was lied to. He's, like, a victim in this. And then it was like, but you're saying this stuff about a teenage girl being promiscuous, and it's okay. That you had sex with her because she already had sex. She wasn't a virgin. So that makes it better. And so I was, like, very internally, like, fighting with myself, like one that I had spent the last six, seven months with. This person who thinks this way and is, like, very dangerous to have been around in the first place. And also this narrative, like, oh, this sweet guy that I used to date was manipulated, and then he continued to make the wrong choice after that. Both of them were wrong to think in the first place, but that's just where my head was at. And I would kind of tell people very minimally about what was going on, and they'd kind of agree where it was like, well, do you think he's like, a bad guy? Like, this is just one case, and this is like, this happens all the time. And, you know, she's clearly into this and she clearly wanted it. And she's like, the way she's messaging you, like, it shows that she, like, wants a relationship with this guy. And that's why she was reaching out in the first place, because she realized, like, that's not what was happening and she wasn't getting that.
- [64:32]
B
That.
- [64:32]
A
And so all of this combined and everybody's willful ignorance kind of coerced me into thinking that I was right and thinking that, like, this isn't my. This isn't my fight. This person wanted this to happen, so this is their fight and they're okay with what's happening. And that's not my issue anymore. And then I moved home and I got that message on TikTok saying that they had talked to her and that she wanted to report, and I immediately lost it because I was like, this person is vocalizing that this thing that happened to them makes them feel like they were a victim and that they want help and that they are still so involved with this person that they can't seek that. And instead of, like, reading that message that I got initially as that, it was like, oh, like, you put yourself in this position, so you deal with it. I'm going to get myself out of here.
- [65:26]
B
So when you found all this out out, did you leave him right away? Okay, so I left.
- [65:30]
A
I broke up with him right away. And then the next few that month. So I guess September is when she let me know.
- [65:36]
B
Okay.
- [65:37]
A
And then that month, it was like the end of September. And so that September leading into October, I had spent packing my stuff and trying to arrange a move and also started only fans in order to provide.
- [65:47]
B
Yeah.
- [65:47]
A
For said move. And unfortunately, using the Content that we had the content that we had made to make that money. And so he felt like he was aiding in my move and, like, helping me do this thing because I was making money off of his videos on the Internet anyways. So I had arranged this whole thing. I'd arranged all my stuff to be moved. I paid all this money out of pocket on top of the money that I'd given him. I was broke. Then it comes time for, like, the movers to come get my. And he's like. Like, they never showed up. I don't know. They never showed up. Like, it. And then so, like, held onto my stuff, my belongings for, like, the next few weeks, and I very much so was still, like, coming to terms with the fact that I had been pretty heavily sexually abused and, like, still not wanting to, like, acknowledge it as that or that I was severely struggling in my life because of those things, as well as being put back into this environment that I worked so hard to get out of. And, yeah, just that the last time, I think it was, like, my birthday, and he had sent me something as a gift, and I was, like, so upset with him, and I was, like, yelling at him, and I was like, you need to stop contacting me. Like, I. I'm. I can't do this anymore. Like, you're not a good person. I can't sit on the phone with you crying to me about killing yourself because you think you're a bad person and telling you that you're not because you are not a good person. Person. And, like, I've let this go too far. And, like, you need to understand that I'm very serious in this. So I. I reached out to his mom and I said, pay for his therapy like you did the last time. And her response was basically like, I had said he. He cheated on me with somebody young. And she said, how young? Like, that was her first response. And I said, she was 16, 17. Oh, my God. Matthew's dad used to do stuff to me like this, to me all the time. Time. And that she was really young when they met. And so almost like, oh, I was a victim when I met him. And just very excusatory. And I kind of just was like, I already know where this conversation's going. I'm gonna end it here. And I let that be. And, like, whatever, if you didn't. I didn't know whether she reached out to him. The last thing she said to me was, don't tell him that. I know in my head, that's word for don't. Speak about this. And so. So I was like, you are excusing this. You're hiding it. So, like, I. You're not the person that I thought I could come to for this. And like I said, I reached out to the local police department, and I had already moved home to Chicago by that point. There was no way. And obviously I wouldn't have in the first place, but there's no way to send evidence of child pornography over email. So this detective, whoever it was that I spoke to, like, spent one day calling the high school and this girl's parents.
- [68:47]
B
So at this point, do you still have the girl blocked or are you in communication? Okay. And at this point, she's the only one you knew about?
- [68:56]
A
Yes. Now, other than in that comment mentioning. I know this person that you're speaking of. We go to the same high school, and he follows a lot of girls in my high school. That's the only.
- [69:06]
B
Okay.
- [69:07]
A
This detective reached out to her school, supposedly. I really don't know what was actually done, but two days later, he said, I reached out to her school and I tried to reach out to her parents. I didn't get in contact with them, but that her, like an advisor, a college advisor, somebody at the school had said that the student was like, 18 now and that they didn't want to talk. And so that was it. They weren't going to put them in contact with the student, et cetera, et cetera. And so that was it. Later, talking to her directly, this never happened and never came back to her at all. She never talked to anybody at her school about Nani wanting to talk about. About this or anything like that. So I don't know what happened there in the first place, but that's what happened. And then on that phone call, he said that, you know, obviously, I need to delete this child pornography off of my phone. And I did. And that was kind of like my defeat for me. I was like, even if I wanted to continue doing something or talking about this, like, I have nothing to go off of now.
- [70:09]
B
So this is. Right now, this is all the same girl, right?
- [70:13]
A
Yes.
- [70:13]
B
So he cheated on you with her?
- [70:15]
A
Yes.
- [70:17]
B
Well, recently, when you're with the family.
- [70:19]
A
Yeah.
- [70:20]
B
But the videos she sent you were from years prior.
- [70:24]
A
It was from. So she had. That September that she had messaged me. She had just turned 18 that September.
- [70:30]
B
Got it.
- [70:31]
A
So whenever they had had 17. Yes.
- [70:34]
B
Okay.
- [70:34]
A
Okay, got it. So, yeah, the video was. Wasn't like that video evidence was not of, like, that July date that I was out of the house. But it was evidence that they had been together.
- [70:43]
B
Got it. Okay, Understood.
- [70:44]
A
In the time that I had been seeing him. Now there's. Now I'm learning that there was three others around the same time that I was seeing him as well. Yeah. Okay. So. Well, okay, so the first reporting didn't go anywhere. Had to delete evidence. So I guess we'll skip to this second reporting.
- [71:03]
B
Okay. And this was. You said there was like a three month span in between.
- [71:06]
A
In between the first and second one. No, there was like a year.
- [71:09]
B
Okay. So it was a decent amount of time. Yeah. Okay.
- [71:11]
A
Oh, yeah. So again, I had thought like I had. Now I have no evidence. I can't say anything anymore other than what had happened to me directly and what I was told.
- [71:19]
B
And in this year, did you and him have communication?
- [71:22]
A
No. After I made that video and I was like, I've reported you. And they said I had to delete stuff, but I'm going to continue talking. That's what. That's when he stopped talking to me. Got it. Maybe he like sent me a birthday message after that and that was it.
- [71:35]
B
Okay, understood. So a year goes by.
- [71:37]
A
Yeah. And so I'm sitting there at my aunt's house, I think it was like January. And I got a message from this girl. Her name is Madison. Hi, Maddie. And she reached out to me and she said, you don't know who I am, but we have a mutual ex in common that we both despise. And he started talking to this new girl who's around the same age that you were when you moved to to see him, and that, you know, that she had seen my original TikTok videos and that's how she knew who I was. But that also that there was some overlap in the beginning of our relationship with him and her as well. Madison had unfortunately been talking to Matthew in the time where he was trying to be a contestant on the Bachelorette. So. And she was 18 at the time of meeting him. So she was also getting manipulated and pretty severely abused in some aspects. So she was also a victim of his. And that's why she reached out to me to say that, you know, she wanted to help this new girl that he was seeing because she also lived in a different state and she was scared that, you know, he was going to convince somebody to uproot their life again. I was more than willing to do this. I just felt like I needed that original message from the victim that I no longer had anymore because I had gotten so, like, like overwhelmed with Everything. And I eventually got rid of that whole phone and everything. So I no longer had that original message that she sent back in 2020. And I felt like I needed that to prove to this other girl, like, this is what this person was saying about the guy you're seeing. It's not just me.
- [73:09]
B
Yeah.
- [73:09]
A
Because I knew he was going to tell her, like, she's insane. So I unblocked the original. The victim that I had direct involvement with. I don't know what I would. I guess we can initial her S. Okay. I unblocked S and I messaged her and I said, like, I don't know your feelings about me, but I have thought about you, like, every day since I've left. And, like, just mentioning the overwhelming guilt of having not read her message in the light that, like, she was probably intending to send it, which is like, asking for help without actually asking, and that, you know, just apologizing for that and having not taking more time to, like, talk to her instead of just, like, immediately being like, I'm done, I'm out, and then just encouraging her. Like, for one, like, if you could send me this message to help this one person, that would be extraordinary. But if you ever felt like you needed to talk to somebody about what happened to you or, like, report him, you should. You absolutely can, and I will help you with that. And, like, like, I'm here to talk to you through that. And, like, there's no. I have no feelings towards you at all. I feel like what happened to you was wrong and you probably need help for it in some sort of word wording. That's what I said to her. And her response was basically that she had assumed that I hated her and that that's why she never felt like reaching out again, but she wanted to. And that she had spent the last few months prior to me reaching out, kind of still talking to Matthew and starting this process of gathering all this evidence of him abusing her and just being a not so great guy. And this is when she asked for help reporting him. And I don't. It was, like, immediate. I, like, typed out this message to this new girl that we just found out about. I was like, that's on you. I need to do this now. And I, like, Googled everything and. And again, I had, like, made sure she was ready to do this a few times. We didn't. It didn't seem like the most friendly relationship, but it was like, I was still very much aware that, like, she was still not separated from him and that while she was feeling like she wanted to do something about it. She was still involved in contact with him and that there was, like, this sense that I had to be, like, very sensitive towards her and what her experience is in this and that. Like, whether I want to report him right now, that's on me. But if she's not ready to, and if she decides she's not ready to, I have to be understanding with that. So, like, kind of trying to keep myself in check and whatever and continuously check in on her and make sure she was okay with what we were doing and whatever before I did anything. And once I messaged this new girl, she immediately called him, and she was like, this girl's messaging me, saying this, all this stuff, right? And I'm talking to Madison and S. In a, like, collective group chat about this girl, immediately going to Matthew and telling him that we're trying to warn him, which he didn't know all of us were involved. He just knew that I was coming towards her to this lady. So lo and behold, who does he call for comfort? S. And so she connects us on the call. Obviously, we're silent, but I got to listen into it. And he's going on and on about out. She's crazy. Like, she is insane. I think she's fully convinced herself that this stuff actually happened as he's talking to the minor that he did, in fact, sleep with. And so he's saying all these very disparaging things about me. And we were trying to kind of get her to say the right things so that he could say the right thing and vocalize that he had slept with a minor and have it on recording, even though you can't really do much with that with an illegal recording anyways. But we did that, and we got it. And, you know, he went on, and she's like, I forgot how she prefaced it, but it was like, you know, did you not see anything serious with me because I was 17? And he kind of fell right into the trap where it was like, I don't see anything. I don't see myself dating older people, older women, because they have kids or they're out of shape by that point, or they don't care about those things, like, keeping themselves hot and fit for me, and they've already got a husband or they're already taken or they're already successful, and they've, like, built themselves, and, like, I don't fit into that, and I'm not mature enough for those relationships. And so all these very, like, disgusting things for anybody to say about anybody, especially your reasonings for going towards younger people, because you can't. You're not going to be successful and you're not willing to put up with a female having a child and having the body that comes with that, et cetera, et cetera. It was just gross. And so just kind of all of that. I had, like, started very, like, slowly trying to comfort this person s and trying to, like, just make her understand that, like, he's not the good person that we all think he is. Even on that phone call, like, you could tell she was very much so serious about what she wanted to say and get him caught up by saying. But it was also very much so, like, I care for this person and I genuinely want to know why I was used this way and that. So, like, that, like, being an experience in. In that call and hearing her, like, kind of talk to him directly and like, ask like, why did you take advantage of me? And him say, like, it's because I'm a piece of shit was very validating to me. Anyways, I tried very hard to like, like, use that to like, make her feel comfortable and also see that she was doing the right thing. And that was a little bit of a struggle, but we made it through. And I used my resources from Google. I reached out to dcfs and they obviously couldn't do anything. They had nothing to do with Florida or whatever, but. And she wasn't a child at that point. She was 20 something. But the person that I spoke to with DCFS was very interested in my story. And so he was like, you know what you should do? You should call this person. You should make reports on Crime Stoppers and you should do this and this and this. And so I made multiple reports on like, any group, like any forum thing that I could find in reporting anybody. And then he said, you should call the FBI directly. And I was like, what? And you like, Google FBI phone number and there it is. You could just call them. You could just dial it in and call the FBI. And I was like, this is insane. And. And I did that. And I just kind of mentioned that this thing happened. I was told that this person was a minor at the time. And I've recently come into contact with that victim again. And they're saying that he has and taunts her with video footage of them having sex. And I also saw this video footage when I was warned about him. So he absolutely has or has had child pornography on his devices. And they were like, we can't tell you if we're gonna investigate this or not? And then I think maybe four days later, I was called by a detective.
- [80:14]
B
Wow.
- [80:14]
A
They were asking to be put into contact with S. And that was kind of something I had to check in with her. Like, are you okay with talking to these people directly? Like, kind of. That's kind of like what we need to make this happen. But I don't want them. If you say no, then this all stops. Like, I'm not gonna give them your contact. I'm not gonna like, say this, this and this. And so, so this is the point where she like, doubled down and she was like, yeah, like I'm. If they're going to talk to me and this is going to be taken seriously, then I'm willing to do that as long as my name's not like brought up and this doesn't like, ruin everything that I'm working for right now. And so I made that very clear to the detective. And they eventually started talking to each other directly and the investigation kind of took off from there. And I kind of took a back seat for the next few weeks. I would reach out to her and see if she had any information. And sometimes they weren't really telling her much. And that was very, like, stressful for her, which in turn was very stressful for me because then I started to feel like I put this person in this position to feel like they had to report this person. And now it's like dragging on. And every day they are like waking up dealing with the reminder of this trauma that they went through in this thing that they had to deal with. And that, that was like so overwhelming in the few. Like, I think it was like a year, two year process. 2022 is when I reported him. That went on for those two years where I was just like, I'm so sorry that this is happening to you.
- [81:45]
B
And it was just basically a waiting game.
- [81:47]
A
It was. They were trying to. So they arrested him pretty, pretty soon after and then they got subpoenas for. To search his house and they took his devices and they found a shit ton of pornography on this devices.
- [82:04]
B
And was it. There was multiple devices and was it all underage girls?
- [82:09]
A
There's no way of knowing. I mean, there's probably videos of me. Every girl that I've talked to that had relations with Matthew has videos with him on his devices that he actively would hold over their heads over the years. So there's. It's anybody.
- [82:23]
B
So when they collected his devices. Devices, they just found a lot of.
- [82:26]
A
A lot of that. A Lot of it. But obviously, I mean, you know what a child looks like. And so I think a lot of the stuff was pretty identifiable. And that's what they said to me, that there was a lot of. I forget the wording they used, but potential evidence. And so what I'm learning now is that that process took so long because they were using, like, facial recognition to go through the videos and try to identify people. And they were able to identify. On top of s. They were able to identify three other girls in which were underage. Yes. Just to clarify, those. The two girls that are mentioned in detail. There's one that's, like, not really talked about, but she is mentioned as a victim. The two that this case directly mentions were like, 13, 14. And they were online, but he was trying to get them to meet up with him, and they were like, Skyping and, you know, doing sexual acts, which.
- [83:31]
B
To that degree is considered grooming as well.
- [83:33]
A
Yeah. Oh, yeah. And that's part of his char. It's part of. It's pornography and coercion.
- [83:38]
B
Okay. So the two younger ones that they found evidence of were that he found online.
- [83:46]
A
14 online. And so the s. The original victim, she'd also found him online. And she was also.
- [83:53]
B
And when you say online.
- [83:53]
A
Much younger before they actually met up.
- [83:56]
B
Like, where online?
- [83:58]
A
So the original victim that I had direct involvement with, she said an app called Yubo, which I've Googled this app. I think it's called Yellow. Now, you could be 13.
- [84:07]
B
Never even heard of these things.
- [84:08]
A
Be 13 to be on this app. It's like a neighborhood communication app, so you can talk to other people in your location. You're bizarre.
- [84:15]
B
Okay.
- [84:16]
A
And you could be 13.
- [84:17]
B
So he's literally a predator.
- [84:18]
A
Like, look, he's, like, out looking for. He's going for this.
- [84:24]
B
And, like, so it's not even like a dating app.
- [84:26]
A
It's just, like, it's supposed to be a community app. And they do. I think they. That it was originally, like, when. When she told me this, and I originally looked it up, like, whatever advertisement I saw, it looked like it was being, like, promoted to younger ages. So I don't.
- [84:43]
B
Weird. Okay.
- [84:44]
A
I don't know. But.
- [84:45]
B
And then the other two.
- [84:47]
A
The other two, it says, like, one was, like, on an adult dating website, but told him right away and he continued communicating with them.
- [84:55]
B
Right.
- [84:56]
A
And the other one was also 13, 14, and met him online. It doesn't. I don't think it really.
- [85:02]
B
Okay.
- [85:02]
A
Verifies.
- [85:03]
B
Yeah.
- [85:03]
A
Whether that was the same thing, but for all of them, he was aware of their ages. And like I said, the one that I had direct involvement with, Yubo, she met him on the app, like, way earlier. And so they had spent, like, three, two, three years or whatever that time frame is. I don't know the numbers, but a considerate amount of time prior to meeting up, talking and him, you know, coercing her and getting her to send him things. And so in going through the investigation and trying to figure out what to send to the FBI to get them to listen to me, she sent me a few text messages, and one of them was like, like, him talking to her after they had already had sex. She's, like, 17, right. And he's asking to see videos and footage or pictures of her at all age groups because he wants to see her progression.
- [85:51]
B
Ah.
- [85:52]
A
And she tells him straight up, I'm not sending you videos. I'm not sending you pictures of my body. And so progression.
- [85:59]
B
I like, hey, I hate that.
- [86:01]
A
Yeah. He said, like, vividly, like, I. If I had. If I could pull it out up very quickly, I could read it out to you. But it was like, specifically, like, I want to see you at, like, 12, 13, 14, like, very specifically, like, this is what I'm looking to see.
- [86:15]
B
Yeah.
- [86:17]
A
And so one of the other girls, like, I guess I don't really remember the exact premise of how this was discussed, but convinced her to meet up with him and then, like, got her family to, like, travel a certain distance. I think they still lived in Florida or wherever he was at the time, but almost met up with him. And then he canceled last minute because he was scared. But, like, it wasn't just some, like, online. Either way. Wrong. But he was actively trying to meet up with and victimize in person all of these victims, whether or not he was successful in that or not. Yeah. So I learned about the other two, and I didn't really hear anything about their abuse at that point, but that was very overwhelming. And then towards the end, they were really just trying to, like, get as many videos or, like, much evidence as possible.
- [87:11]
B
Did you ever figure out how many people he was talking to while you guys were in a relationship?
- [87:17]
A
I still don't know, but I have confirmation as of right now that there were three during.
- [87:24]
B
When you guys.
- [87:24]
A
During. Yeah. Including the minor.
- [87:26]
B
Oh, okay.
- [87:28]
A
But there could have been more.
- [87:30]
B
And that, to me, goes to show. It's like, like, you said you were sexual with him. He's having videos of you every day.
- [87:39]
A
Every day. And I was with him every day. He would be out of the House for maybe an hour at the max away from me. And in that frame, that was like. That was his moment where he was like, I just can't live without it in this hour that I'm out of the house because I shit you not. Like, sorry to my family, but I. I solely was there to be a sex slave. And, like, I very quickly fell into that because it was easier than just putting up a fight and living in discomfort throughout the rest of the day. And so whenever he wanted something that was there for him to be provided, no matter what I was feeling or what I said, and that still wasn't enough. And towards, like, the end of this investigation, they were really trying to gather it all together and pick it up. And we still. I had sent my phone in. They still couldn't get this original footage that I had seen from the victim that they were trying to recover from my old phone. And so, in an attempt, like, they had gone through the album and everything was pixelated. Like, it had all been corrupted, but you could still kind of make out what the image was. And so that's why I sent it to them to see if they could recover it or do something, something like that. And so I facetime with the detective with the FBI, and he was going through my camera roll trying to see if I could see where it was. And so I pointed it out, and whatever. They were trying to identify if s was the victim in any other videos that he had that they could use as evidence. And so, unfortunately, I was shown a video of somebody engaging in sexual activity which was, like, traumatizing all over again, is to, like, be sitting here and watching this other person who was not this victim that I knew of, also get victimized in attempt to, like, identify her. And now there's. There's a whole other person that I know of that was, like, directly involved with him and hurt in this way. And so that was very scarring to me in this process. And I tried a little bit to take a step back, but then things like, I just wouldn't hear anything, and neither would she. And so it was this constant, like, I need to be the one to check in and message and bother to make sure that this process is moving along. And there were definitely times where it just felt like nothing was happening. Especially, like, they had arrested him. They put him on house monitoring. They found the content, and then he was in his house out of jail for a year.
- [90:10]
B
And in this year, was he trying to contact you or still no.
- [90:12]
A
Okay. Yeah, for me, he was contacting Madison. He was contacting us. I don't think that the other girl said he tried to contact them in that time, but I don't think he knew who to contact. Yeah, so for this year that he's out, we're just all kind of waiting around. Waiting. It's a waiting game. And so every they'd sent us, they set a sentencing and we'd get all, you know, excited about this and then they'd have to reset it because he was needing this and he was neat, he was having health issues. And so this process went on forever because of him and as well as because the usa. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying. No judgments. But that's weird. Okay, one judgment anyway. Give it a try. @mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month Required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms@mintmobile.com close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe. Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste. Visit 1-800contacts.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-contacts. I guess we struggled to like find like the lawyer for a while like to get a set person in place. So the process and the, the system is just not great. So that certainly didn't help. But yeah, so I spent that year trying to advocate and continue to like hound these detectives for information and make sure that everything was happening. And it wasn't until like the last sentencing where it was like, this is it. I've booked my flight fight. I'm not gonna have to like call them and cry about getting my money back this time. And so I went to court and my. Okay, so like in between this year that I had reported him, he got arrested right before that, right before I made the call to the FBI, I reached out to his best friend, his best friend's wife, because they had just had a little girl who they brought around him a lot. And his cousin's wife who also had kids. And Matt made me do some not appropriate things in their house while they were there. So I felt like these are people, these are people with kids. These are people he's made weird comments about directly. Like, I need to warn them. And I did. And both of those people continued to let Matthew come around their house and their kids and whatever. And so because he's family, because he's family, he's friends, they've known him forever. It's not that big of a deal. She's just 18. So that was very upsetting. So it was even more upsetting going to court and then seeing him, first of all making out with his girlfriend in the court lobby.
- [93:26]
B
So he had a new girlfriend.
- [93:27]
A
Oh, he had a new girlfriend living with him, taking him to church every weekend. Because now all of a sudden all the Christian, all the, all the Catholic that I had to grow up dealing with and like, speaking about at home that he wanted to like, continue to, like, like, I don't know, make me feel bad about, like, for being a little religious, not even in, like practicing, just in like the way that I was raised in my values. And he would be like, well, that's because, like your family's religious and like. And so. And now all of a sudden he's going to church every weekend with this girl. Anyways. Point is, she's a changed man. He was. He found this beautiful, well mannered, good girl and he manipulated her.
- [94:10]
B
So she didn't believe any of this.
- [94:12]
A
I'm assuming she's still, she's still, as far as I'm away, is his girlfriend and they're still together. I mean, this is just February. So.
- [94:19]
B
Okay.
- [94:19]
A
And I haven't talked to her directly. I did reach out, but.
- [94:21]
B
So they're making out in the courtroom.
- [94:23]
A
They'Re making out in the court hall. They have like 30 people there in support of him. Half of them don't know how to dress in a courtroom. It's very sad. You think you'd invite people to represent you, you'd invite people who knew to not wear like a T shirt and jeans. But any point is he, his behavior was just terrible. The people that showed up were very clearly like unaware of the severity of why they were here to support this person, as well as the fact that there was not just one victim, that there was going to be three victims reading their statements and a lot younger and a lot younger than they had realized. And I kind of kept trying to remind myself that looking at all these supporters. And, like, these people don't know. They probably don't know the same way I didn't know. And that's okay. And his mother got up there and read her statement, and she got off, and she stared me down, and I smiled because it's just comical. Like, I. I didn't do this. I didn't do anything. I didn't create this problem. He did. And I gave you the opportunity to do something about it instead of me reporting him, and you didn't do that. So why. Why she was reacting that way anyway? So I smiled. I may have giggled or something. And his aunt, like, very loudly in the middle of this court hearing was like, why is she laughing? What's so funny? And looking over at the victims in general and just being very aggressive and intimidating, which means nothing to me. But these girls, like, had no knowledge that they were gonna show up to a courtroom with 40 people deep in there to support the person that they were there to, like, go against. Go against. And so them acting like that on top of that just made me feel so. So just upset. It was so upsetting. And it was like, I didn't want to reach out to these people or, like, do too much talking on the Internet because I can't imagine being a mother finding out that my son is a pedophile. And I didn't want to hurt somebody by, like, putting all their information out there, right? And then at the end of the day, like, they are in court, and it doesn't matter what you are saying or what they did, they. They don't like you. Regardless. They don't. They've been doing this for so long. They've been helping and concealing this, and that's just the type of person that this whole family is. And so that. And the aggressiveness and, like, when they were being ushered out, the aunt was like, why aren't they going with us? And it was, like, very, like, aggressive and just not. Not okay to, like, talk to victims like that. Like, obviously, there's. There's some distance in court because they're victims, and you guys still don't understand that. And that's why you're yelling at them in court. All of us kind of took note of that, and we all agreed to go to dinner after and talk about everything. And everybody kind of made remarks about him or the girlfriend or the mom or the aunt, you know, being very aggressive and the way that they were looking and the way that it made them feel. And that Matt in court while he was Reading his statement, turned around and looked at all of them directly. And like, that made them deeply uncomfortable.
- [97:25]
B
Was he apologetic at all?
- [97:28]
A
So, so this. So great that you mentioned that. The judge in this case, so great. He really, when he sentenced him, he like, handed him a new one. It was great. What he said was like, when you go through this court process, you have to look at everybody's side and look at behavior and body language and whatever. And so he was saying, when you were up there and you're reading about how much of a struggle this has been on your life, there's a pile of napkins sitting on your table by the time you're done. And then two girls that you victimized went up and shared their stories about what you did to them. And not a single napkin was added to that pile. And then you want to sit and turn, like, apologize to them. And you're not apologetic and you are a genuine danger to society, especially because you want to, like, sit here and make it seem like you're not. And like his mom got up there and read like a five page essay about, about all the great things that he's doing because his dad has dementia and he's helping him with that and somebody needed an air conditioner installed and Matt did that. And it's just so nice that he's such a nice person. All of that to garner support and then you don't even really have a reaction or care about what you've done to people. And that was so evident to the judge. So it was very validating to all of us. Let, like this guy with 40 people and then us four girls on this side. And the judge was like, I see right through all of this stuff.
- [98:52]
B
Yeah.
- [98:53]
A
And like, this is. This is nothing to mean. Like, you are a genuinely bad person. So, no, he wasn't sincerely apologetic. The only time he really broke down and started crying was to turn to his group of supporters and say, I'm so sorry. Because he had clearly lied to them about what they were coming to support him for. And a lot of them, like, there were people putting their hands in their. Their face, in their hands. There were people like, huffing and puffing and clearly, like this, just uncomfortable with being in this room and in support of this person because they had no idea that this was the truth and that it was so severe and that they all showed up blindly and like, so it's very sad, like, to know that not only did he manipulate, manipulate these girls and me and everybody else that is a victim of his, but his supporters and the people who showed up for him and the people who are still getting on Reddit and saying terrible things. Yeah, they're all a victim of his abuse and his manipulation, and that's why they're doing this.
- [100:02]
B
So was he sentenced at that court hearing?
- [100:05]
A
He was sentenced, yeah, to 20 years, 10 years parole. They were asking for a lesser, for the lesser charge, I think of like 15 years. And he gave him the full, the full charge. So, yeah, and then like I said, we, we started getting on Reddit and sharing and I mean, we got a lot of support and it was very, very heartwarming, very sweet and validating, I guess, to come from like, like three years of this process for one, not telling my personal story to my personal people and then kind of coming out and kind of now, just now this year, kind of saying, like, I, I've been dealing with a lot because of this, and then having people online immediately offer that, like, emotional support that like, I didn't give my people the chance to, you know, and so that's been very validating to me in this whole process.
- [101:05]
B
And more, you said more have been coming about it.
- [101:08]
A
Yeah. And so then that's the other thing is the amount of people who have messaged to say, like, when we were in high school, Matt did this to a young girl, or when we were this age, he did this to me.
- [101:19]
B
So if more people continue to come out and there's proof, could that add to his sentence at all or no, I don't know.
- [101:27]
A
There was one specific girl who reached out to me and she wasn't being very explicit, understandably. And I don't want to push anybody for information, nor am I in a place where I can add on more trauma that this person has caused other people. But it sounded like he did something pretty severe to her and that she was looking for information of who I talked to because she wanted to consider reaching out to them and asking if there was evidence of hers as well. And so, and, and I think about this, and I was having a conversation with one of his various friends or cousins, and they were like, like making a joke about searching for missing girls in the areas that he's lived in and whatever. And they're like, it's probably not, it's probably never been that serious. But like, you never know. And that's my thought process of this is like, these people, they always escalate, right? Abuse always escalates. And once, you know, you can get away with things, it's always worse or at some point it was worse. And you de. Escalated. So the thought that there's probably somebody who's been affected in a way worse and to a different extent.
- [102:35]
B
Yeah. And it's like you only know what you know of now. It's like you just. You don't know what else there could be or how serious it could have been.
- [102:44]
A
And so that's. The other thing is just today when I was in the shower, I got a message on TikTok from a cousin of his who said that they just found this story. They just found out that he was arrested. This is like a family member of his, and they're just. Just now finding out that he's arrested. And it just made me realize, like, this is not for attention. This is not. This is like a genuine. Like, so many people don't come across this information because it's being hidden from him or it's just not like information that's being shared or talked about.
- [103:13]
B
And you said he is still suppressing it.
- [103:16]
A
Yeah.
- [103:16]
B
Okay.
- [103:17]
A
Oh, so if you search Matthew, Read Dion, everybody search it right now. No, but if you do, like, his IMDb comes up, like, the first FBI press release will come up, and then everything else is like some other Dione, some other article, something else, which it wasn't originally like that. The day after when I first searched him after his arrest, his IMDb has been changed because he did background acting and some stuff, and so that's been changed, and that comes out up in one of the first searches. So things like that, they're. They are actively and have actively paid for stuff to be scrubbed and pushed down on the Internet.
- [104:00]
B
So a lot of his family still supports him?
- [104:02]
A
Oh, yeah.
- [104:02]
B
Okay.
- [104:03]
A
I wouldn't say a lot. I think people definitely came to terms with the fact that they were lied to. But other than that, like, the cousins and friends who were like, told like, hey, I. I'm getting investigated for this thing. And then they took that information and did their own research. They're the only one who are not supportive of him that I know of, and they're the only ones who have reached out in support of me. And so the brother and all the cousins and all the other people who keep checking my page and, you know, anonymously leaving not so nice comments on things that are being posted are still very actively doing those things and supporting him. When we. We got on Reddit, somebody who knows the. He's this family, like, mentioned his brother very briefly and not liking that him at all either. And he immediately started typing in these Reddit groups and a Lot of it was directed at me to slut shame me and bring up my only fans career, which he seemed to have quite a bit of extensive knowledge of the type of content that I have up, which is kind of odd, and the lack of posting that I've been doing recently. And so he was like, Basically I said he had said something to this person in response, and he was like, you can't make judgments about people. Da, da, da, da. And I was like, I think you can make judgments about somebody who shows up for a pedophile in support of a pedophile in court. And he said that he was like, like complacent support or something like that. I forgot how he like worded it, but that he was just there as a, like a family support, not to support what he had his brother had done. And then something or other. And then he was like. And I was like, you, you're like victimizing your brother or whatever. And he basically made a comment about, like, better than being victimized by men in strip clubs and online and then mentioned that I haven't been making content or doing only fans. And he was like, I'm glad that you seem to be finding some value in your life. Like, hopefully you can really submit to that and, like, find a better purpose for yourself. And that's kind of where it started. And then every day after, he would clock back in under a new profile, same name, still putting his name, Greg Dione in there, and just like outright telling me I'm not a victim, that what I faced doesn't count as victim. Like, that I was just an idiot girl who made the decision to move with this guy and that I need to stop spreading this narrative that he's a pedophile, pedophile. Because he's not. Because it was online. It was just online stuff, like, vivid, like, okay, but if that was true, I don't think he'd be in, I think the Reddit. I forget what I put the Reddit under, but all of these comments are visible under the Reddit. I think it's like Matthew Read, Dion Snark or something like that on Reddit if you want to go see his comments. But I'm just paraphrasing. But yeah, like, there's just this general, understand, like this general, like, comment thread that he left makes it very evident that one, they don't understand that I'm an adult making consensual content online on my own body. And that that is completely fine. Especially like when you're sitting there saying that and your brother was doing that unconsensually. So like why you're judging me for what I'm doing when it's my own body and I'm allowed to do what I want. And then two like this minimizing of what he's done because it wasn't in person and because this victim wasn't actually underage. It's a federal case. The FBI did their research. She was underage. They can do the math of the numbers of her birthday and her age and they look through their devices and they have the evidence she was underage when they had sex. That makes him a predator. And he was talking to young girls and trying to actively get them to meet up and doing sexual activities with them online to an extreme extent. None of that is dismissible. None of that doesn't make him a pedophile. And a weird thing that I've witnessed a lot in consuming content about similar people in similar situations is that people who like to make excuse for this behavior want it to be, be like labeled correctly. And I know that there is a term for a person who has an attraction to a certain age group and that that doesn't all fall under pedophilia. What I'm not going to do is like start using this term that most people don't know the meaning of to like negate the severity of what his crimes were. Everybody knows what a pedophile is. I forget what the word is.
- [108:46]
B
When did these new words come about?
- [108:47]
A
Yeah, they're, there's like, like, like psycho. Like you know, like psychology has to have like. I don't even get that. I'm so like, it doesn't make sense to me. You're on anybody who's a minor, you're attracted to them, you're a pedophile. Like I'm not gonna sit here and name it something else.
- [109:04]
B
And also like what. So would you guys have rather let this go on until he met up with a 13 year old and had sex with a 13 year old?
- [109:09]
A
Because it was, it was gonna happen. And you know what, on top of that, in all of these instances where these people are doing these things, it gets to a point where somebody slips up, this girl gets pregn and then what does he do? Something's going to happen eventually and you like them continuing to negate it and pretend like it wasn't what it was could have led to a pretty severe outcome in the end if this had continued like years on down the road.
- [109:39]
B
Well, something I just don't like is I think that we live in such a sensitive world now in the sense that it's like everybody wants to. To tiptoe around different labels and different titles and definitions of things, when in reality, like you said, if you're underage, you're a pedophile.
- [109:54]
A
It is. That's that.
- [109:55]
B
Why does it have to have a different name? Because he only did it online, which it technically wasn't only online.
- [110:01]
A
It wasn't. Yeah. But also it's more labeled, like in the age groups. Like, pedophile is like baby until, like a certain age. And then there's another word for like 13 to, to like older teens. Right. I'm not going to break it down. Yeah. In those terms to make it easier for these types of people to hide.
- [110:22]
B
Or to feel like it's not as bad.
- [110:24]
A
Because as audiences and as a society, we hear that word and we're like, oh, she wasn't a child. Also, she wasn't like a baby. So, okay, so it's different. And.
- [110:35]
B
But once again, like you said, who knows like when. And with somebody like this or people like this in general, it's like, who knows down the road if this person wasn't caught, if it wouldn't escalate to younger and younger and younger.
- [110:47]
A
Oh, yeah. And it was. He was, he was asking to see her at younger age groups.
- [110:51]
B
That is true, too.
- [110:53]
A
So the attraction to this younger age group is there. It's there.
- [110:57]
B
Yeah. That's true at any point.
- [110:59]
A
And so him, him saying that was really just. It's one thing to say, get online and say that me as an adult, I wasn't a victim. I kept staying in a situation that I knew I wasn't. Wasn' good for myself. And also the story that he thinks is true and was given is completely false. And so that's what he's spewing and an assumption that that's what happened. And so I wasn't really all that upset or offended. I. I'm a defensive person in general. So I was definitely typing back, but it didn't really personally affect me until it was like, stop labeling it as this thing. Because it wasn't this thing. Now you're a bad person. Now you're a disgusting person for saying such a thing. And then also trying to, like, he got on. He was like, why aren't you posting? When I started reposting the things that he was saying to me, why aren't you reposting the things that I said about this and how I understand that they're victims and because you are still negating. You are still ask. You're saying, I'm okay. I understand that this happened and that he's been charged for it. But what you're saying thing is so extreme, and it's making me and my brother look bad, and I don't like that. Like, you can't. You cannot sit on the Internet and act like you're happy that victims got their justice and you support them and you feel so sorry that they went through this thing and then sit here and talk to the person who got it for them and was also victimized in similar ways. And so that. And him, like, I told him, like, you know, know, your mother knew about this prior to all of this happening, and she made excuses, and now you're making.
- [112:36]
B
Dad was like this, too.
- [112:37]
A
Yeah.
- [112:38]
B
Oh.
- [112:39]
A
So I. I guess, like, their narrative is like, she worked at the gym. She was, like, in her early 20s, maybe just, like 20 or 19, and he was in his 30s, and he seduced her into a relationship and whatever. And so that. That's the other thing, talking to these victims directly. And, like, I don't think that his family has this knowledge that he uses this as a way to manipulate women. My mom went through this. My dad did that to my mom, and I would never do that, or my mom and my dad did this. So, like, it's a little understandable for me that, you know, you're younger and that's why I'm attracted to you. Because my mom and dad, he uses it as a way to make sure that these girls feel like, no, it's not wrong. Wrong. What we're doing is not wrong. My mom and dad were the same way. And it's like, I don't think that his mom has any, and. Or. Nor would she probably care at this point. From what I've learned or seen, it just, like, came to this general understanding that, like, these people as a whole, something has happened here and that it has been going on for so long because they've allowed it to, and they continue on to harm and treat and harass people in the way that they do or pay to have things shut out and silenced, and that that's why these things were able to, like, go on for so long. And some of these comments were mentioning that, like, they did reach out to his mom, too, and they. They've reached out to people and they tried to make it a bigger thing, and they were always suppressed and ignored, or there was always something that, you know, scared them. And unfortunately, the one thing that was huge Was this pornography that he would get everybody to make, mostly unconsensual, usually. And then the. The girls particular in court said this, but I experienced it, and so did Madison, So I'm sure all these other victims did, too. Where it would be months of not hearing from him, and then it would be like, hi, I still have this video. Like, what if I posted this video one day? I just want you to know I have this video. Or just, like, sending it to them just so that they know, like, I still have this. I look at this all the time. Yep. And that really, like, taunted a lot of the girls, and that. That caused a lot of the emotional distress from a lot of them. And there's a lot of victims out there who aren't children, not minors, but they were also on that computer, and they were also being taunted on a daily basis or a weekly basis over this stuff that they had.
- [115:15]
B
Yeah. That they don't want getting out.
- [115:16]
A
Right. And again, I was using this content. Content online to make money. I was putting it out there for myself. And he was still using. Trying to use that to taunt me. Like, he was just. It was just, that's him. Like, he's going to be that person. So how so many people were able to be manipulated and think that, you know, this is just, like, such a great guy and whatever. And now looking back and seeing, like, how intentional. Everything he's always done is with everybody and everything is like, when. When I broke up with him, he called people from high school that he had never seen to start sharing this narrative because he knew, like, I was not going to sit there and be silent. And, like, he knew from the jump, like, there's going to be people that I need to lay down a narrative with to get support. And that was before I even moved out of the house. Like, everything about him is how do I construct it and how do I make it this. This thing that works for me. And so. So unfortunately, a lot of people helped and aided in that. Unfortunately, by doing that, it just allowed a lot of people to show up for him and support and I think just, like, kind of seeing that online, like, from so many people like them saying, like, that his mom was actively going around telling people that these girls make it easy for him and that they seduce him and they make it so hard for him to say no and that it's their fault and that they're really the problems. And here, as a female who had that happen to them, had a grown man. You know what I mean? This Is the stuff that she's, like, telling people out loud to support her son, who she knows is a con, a continuous abuser.
- [117:05]
B
Yeah.
- [117:07]
A
And. Yeah. And so all of those responses on Reddit just really confirmed to me that, like, it is so easy to believe that this abuser is a good person. It's so easy to believe that the people that they have around them are good people and that nobody would, like, want to encourage this behavior. Nobody would want to say, silent about this behavior, but it happens all the time. And that because of those things happen because those people share these narratives and spread these lies and whatever, so many people are too scared to report. So many, many people are scared to say, like, I have a friend that does some things that make me uncomfortable. I should say something or I should say something directly to them. All the things that we should be, like, pulling out and acting on to make our world a better place, especially for young kids, we don't do because we're scared of being perceived or, you know, whatever, or, you know, it's just easier to be told, like, this person that you've had this great, great concept of is that person, and believe that. And so I think in general, just sharing narratives similar to this, it kind of, you know, hopefully encourage. Encourages everybody to use your own discretion, use some common sense and, like, reach out to people or, like, reach out for information and the truth. And, and like, again, I, I said that I had mentioned this problem to two of his friends, and they both pretty much ignored me and kept bringing their kids around. And then later on after this conviction came and said, like, I'm so sorry. I didn't understand that it was this severe. You chose not to respond to me. You chose not to ask for more information. You chose to not respond at all. That was a choice you made. I gave you the information and you said, okay, I'm still gonna bring my kids around this person without saying, oh, that's a concern. I should bring this up to that person or I should ask more questions. Yeah, I just think that, like, this all in general was a huge lesson that one, like, parents don't have enough examples of, like, how to talk about this with their kids, how to create a space that feels safe enough to come forward about. About should their kids, God forbid, come into contact with somebody online like that. You can't get discouraged that if you feel like you're doing the right thing, regardless of what other people are saying about that person, whatever people have said that you should do or should not do, if the right thing to do is to get, like, help or justice or whatever, like, dedicate yourself to that. Because if I hadn't, we'd still be here and I'd be still like, living my life. Life every day wondering what he's doing to this next person. This next person. So hopefully my story kind of offers just some little, like, afterthought to people in situations like that. And yeah, destigmatize ex girlfriends. We're not all crazy and vindictive.
- [120:18]
B
And something I want to say as well is just that I think that it seems like there were people that wanted to dumb down your part in all of this because you were an adult. But in my opinion, you know, hearing your story, to me, it's like you are the center of it. Because I think that if it wasn't for your relationship with him, maybe S wouldn't have ever come out. Maybe she wouldn't have reached out to anybody. Maybe she wouldn't have felt comfortable enough. And thankfully she did. And it's like, yeah, maybe you don't have. You weren't a victim in the sense of these other girls, but you were a victim with him in your own way. I don't think people realize how disturbing that probably felt for you to find that out about somebody that you were with. There's. It's such a different experience and such a different type of pain and trauma. And I think that that's something that. That, you know, also was important that you came on to discuss because it's a whole different aspect of it. You know, And I think that just because you maybe weren't in the exact position of those girls, you know, there was an overlap in things being non consensual and videos being held over your head. And then like I just mentioned, you know, finding out that somebody that you loved and trusted, you know, when you dated, whether it was for one month or one year or whatever. Yeah.
- [121:44]
A
But they're like, doing this deeply deprived stuff.
- [121:47]
B
And, you know, I'm sure that there were times. Times where you probably thought to yourself, how the. Did I not know that? Or how did I not pick up on this?
- [121:53]
A
Yeah. And that's. So just to touch on the first thing is like, I think the whole idea of me being the center of this is something that I've kind of gone back and forth with because I don't want the story to be about me or like, my. My experience to be like the forefront of what Matt did. Right. Even though that's what I'm sharing online. But.
- [122:17]
B
And you're you it's okay to be a V. And I understand that.
- [122:21]
A
But I also want. It's about the severity of what he did criminally to be the forefront of this. But I also know that this is the case because I went there and I actively, the whole way, put up a fight with what I was being put through. And we'd continuously go head in head. And I think at some point he started to realize this is the person where if I fuck up, it's over for me. And that's why he was heavily abusing and manipulating me to the extent that he was, because he knew, like, the minute I was away, I would talk about it or do something about it and just what he was doing to me. And so I know that I was put into this position to be that and deal with those things because I needed to have the strength that when I got this information, to do the right thing and not be scared of who he was as a person. Yeah, unlike these other girls have been and were up until he was sentenced. And like, some of them said, like, I showed up to court and I was like, relieved looking at him because he's not the big scary man that I was made out to believe. Like, here he is sitting in crying in his pink shirt in court, you know, and so knowing that, like, this probably would never have come to a conclusion if I wasn't there there is very, like, comforting to me. Knowing that I had stayed for that long is very comforting to me because I would have never gotten to the point where I found that stuff out if I didn't stay, if I didn't push myself. Like, I can't leave. I can't leave. I would have never been warned about him doing these things, and I would have never had the opportunity to report him and save and help bring comfort to so many people. And so I do realize that, you know, my. My portion in this is very impactful for people and. And it's important to the whole narrative.
- [124:16]
B
I think people too, you know, and even for yourself, it's not about making it about just you or your story, but I think that your story and your part in all of this, you, like I said, in a way, you become the voice for these other victims. You also are like, in my opinion, you're the fighter in it. Like, you're the one that's like, all right, I know that what he did to you guys isn't exactly what he did to me, but I'm going to make sure justice is done. Like you, that's a Big part to have in something. And it's okay to. To recognize that and to get the recognition for that.
- [124:49]
A
Yeah.
- [124:49]
B
You know, and. And it's important because, like you said, there are a lot of people, you know, that could have something like this happen, and they're too young, too scared to speak up, Whether it's because of the person that's victimizing them. Them, or if it's because of. They're scared of how people are going to perceive them, or maybe the job that they have or the people, their family, you know, whatever it might be. But it's someone like you that gives people that backbone and that extra strength to stand up for themselves, to fight and to speak up. And I think that it's important people realize that if they. And I think that you mentioned this as well. If something that they see is wrong, wrong, and they're not sure, like, speak up.
- [125:33]
A
Be that something.
- [125:34]
B
Yeah. Be that backbone.
- [125:35]
A
Even if it's to ask somebody else, like, hey, I'm experience. Like, go on Reddit, find a page and say, I'm experiencing this thing that makes me feel a certain type of way. And I guarantee you, if it is wrong, so many other people will tell you not only that it's wrong, but what to do about it.
- [125:49]
B
Yeah.
- [125:51]
A
And like, that's like the calling the FBI is like, the most powerful thing that could have ever happened to me because it was like, this realization, like, this help and getting justice, and it's not like this. This, like, unattainable thing. Yeah, the number is right there on the Internet. And like, the help that you may. May be hard, and it may be a very long and strenu, like, stressful situation and process, but it's not unattainable. And as long as you know that what you're doing is the right thing and you keep pushing, or at the very least talking about it, like, that's. That's just as impactful. Um, so, yeah, I'm very appreciative. Appreciative of this platform, of course, and as well as to all the people who helped get me here. And I also just want to say thank you to Madison, who reached out to me in the first place and kind of lit the fire under my butt to keep helping and keep things going, because I was in a place where I was really beaten down. If she never acknowledged that she had saw something that helped her and that would help somebody else, then I would have never, ever gotten to this point. So I just want to say big thanks to everybody who really helped help all this come to this conclusion. Yeah.
- [127:07]
B
Well, I'm so grateful that you wanted to come on here and tell your story in in depth and obviously I know that. Do you. Are you still sharing different parts of your story on Tick Tock or is it like kind of. Have you shared it all?
- [127:21]
A
I shared on Tick Tock.
- [127:22]
B
Okay.
- [127:23]
A
A story time. Basically what I've shared today and got very overloaded with the amount of responses. Again, I'm still getting responses from girls.
- [127:33]
B
Today because I was gonna say I obviously. Anything you want me to link for you personally?
- [127:38]
A
Oh, yeah, I would. So I do plan so I would love to talk about this on TikTok. Unfortunately, because of all the stuff that I've dealt with and all the comments that I received, I have this like, conflict, this inner conflict of like, like uploading things and then I guess it not being perceived at all or not well or, you know, it just not reaching anything. And so I. I kind of wanted to put it a hold on it until I've gotten the larger story out and then there's little things that I can kind of touch on or directly on my page. I'm sure that I'll go home and I'll be like, I didn't mention that thing.
- [128:15]
B
It always happens. Yeah.
- [128:17]
A
So, yeah, so I do plan on talking about it on TikTok.
- [128:20]
B
Yeah. So definitely when, when we're done, just definitely send me like all your stuff so I can anything you want in there and I'll add it so people can kind of like go over and talk to you directly. Yeah. But you did amazing.
- [128:30]
A
Thank you.
- [128:31]
B
Thank you. Of course.