Podcast Summary: "I Lost $10 Million Gambling"

Podcast: We're All Insane
Host: Devorah Roloff
Guest: Louis Ruggiero
Date: March 9, 2026

Overview

This emotionally raw episode features Louis Ruggiero, a 31-year-old in recovery from addiction—and compulsive gambling. Louis shares the roller coaster of his privileged but turbulent upbringing in New York City, his descent into drug and gambling addiction, and the devastating consequences for himself and his loved ones—including a shocking murder trial and massive financial loss. The conversation highlights the insidious nature of gambling addiction, the stigma that surrounds it, and the importance of community, honesty, and recovery.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Privileged Upbringing, Early Troubles

• Louis’s Background
  • Grew up in an affluent NYC home; father was a lawyer, mother a news anchor (01:47).
  • Household was high-pressure, always in the public eye.
• ADHD and Medication
  • Diagnosed and heavily medicated for ADHD at age 7–8; describes the adverse effects.
  • “I was put on 120 milligrams of Concerta in second grade… it kind of dulled me.” (06:12)
• Early Pattern of Consequence Avoidance
  • Kicked out of multiple schools for misbehavior, but family influence often shielded him from accountability.
  • “I was always getting bailed out. I never faced any real consequences.” (10:48)
  • Reveals that his family hid his dyslexia from him until adulthood (11:18).

2. College: The Spiral Begins

• Initially a good student, but college led to heavy substance use and loss of purpose (13:57).
• Peer pressure and fraternity culture led Louis to discover Xanax, which became a rapid addiction.
  • “I went from doing a half a milligram of Xanax to… 10mg a day by December.” (15:51)
• Failed classes, fabricated grades for parents; eventually placed on academic probation and psychiatric hold (18:43).

3. Escalation: Addiction, Crime, and Tragedy

• Substance Rotation & Escalation:
  • Moved from Xanax to Percocet, oxycodone, and casino gambling.
• Trauma and Loss:
  • Best friend died from an overdose.
  • “It was like a moment in time where you’re at this crossroads… If I go left, I’m next…” (28:16)
• First Major Arrest:
  • High-profile arrest after a drug-fueled incident (theft of a purse); first inescapable consequence (31:36).
• Murder Confession & Trial:
  • Close friend (“Jimmy”) confesses a murder to Louis, dragging him into a murder investigation (37:40–53:38).
  • Louis is subpoenaed and testifies at trial, compelled to “air all my dirty laundry,” with the media spotlighting him due to his public family (53:36).

Notable Quote

“You’re not alone. You’re not a bad person. You’re not different. You’re not unique. You just got that thing… that ism.” — Louis (107:57)

4. The Insidious Nature of Gambling

• Gambling Overtakes Substance Addiction:
  • After achieving sobriety from drugs and alcohol, gambling became the “primary” addiction.
  • “Nothing has ripped my soul and my spirit out of me the way gambling did.” (74:39)
• Massive Losses:
  • Over the course of ten years, lost approximately $10 million (combination of personal and others’ money).
  • “I had a bookie in LA, I was losing 20, 30,000 a week… lost $300,000 in 72 hours…” (58:58–59:37).

Notable Quote

“Out of all my addictions, nothing has ripped my soul and spirit out of me the way gambling did.” — Louis (74:39)

5. The Rock Bottom and Turning Point

• November 2024: Facing debts, broken trust, and suicidal ideation.
• Reaches out to a family friend after being threatened with legal action. Comes clean to partner and family (78:30).
• Starts attending Gamblers Anonymous (GA) and undergoes a transformative “pressure relief group.”
• Sheds light on the unique shame and denial surrounding gambling addiction:
  • “Addiction is the only disease that tries to convince you you don’t have a disease.” (96:40)

Notable Moment

Louis describes sitting down with his family and debtors, finally “vomiting every lie I’ve been harboring for the last 10 years.” (82:00)

6. Tools for Recovery & Rebuilding Trust

• Detailed explanation of the GA “pressure relief group” for managing debt and restitution (85:41).
• Emphasizes the process of earning back family trust (99:00).
• Self-exclusion from betting sites, partner manages his finances.

7. Reflection: Honesty, Community, and Service

• Today, Louis serves others as a peer and podcaster, focusing on gambling addiction education and destigmatization (89:49).
• Openly acknowledges ongoing struggles and need for community and honesty.
• “Once you voice it and everyone around you knows, it does kind of force you to hold yourself accountable…” (91:29)
• Critiques how gambling is being mainstreamed and glamorized, while support systems lag behind demand.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On addiction’s roots:

  "Most addicts aren’t bad people trying to get good. We’re sick people trying to get well." — Louis (04:05, 99:49)

• On hiding his struggles:

  “I can come in here right now. I could have a million dollars on a football game right now. You’d have no idea.” — Louis (74:55)

• On relapse:

  “If I take a sip of alcohol right now, there is a very high chance I’m on a plane to Cartagena, Colombia within 12 hours to burn my life down.” — Louis (97:47)

• On recovery and trust:

  “My mom, a year and a half ago, wouldn’t leave her pocketbook in the same room as me… now she has me doing the cash drops at the bank.” — Louis (99:00)

• On community:

  “We share the common problem… most of us don’t like ourselves and are not happy. We chose drugs and alcohol to make us happy. Then we come together… and create a community.” — Louis (100:56)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Louis’s Childhood & Early Rebellion: 01:47–11:18
• College Entry and First Substance Use: 13:57–16:43
• First Major Addiction & Probation: 15:51–22:20
• Friend’s Overdose/Aftermath: 27:20–32:00
• Arrest and Family Fallout: 31:36–34:38
• Murder Story & Legal Trauma: 37:40–53:38
• Gambling Addiction Unfolds: 58:56–74:39
• Suicidal Crisis & Turning Point: 78:30–84:43
• GA “Pressure Relief” & Debt Management: 85:41–89:15
• Recovery, Ongoing Triggers, and Reflections: 89:49–104:55
• Final Reflections on Addictive Stigma, Community, & Advocacy: 107:49–111:22

Themes & Takeaways

• Addiction is Not a Moral Failure: Louis repeatedly affirms that addiction is an illness, not a character flaw.
• Gambling’s Unique Dangers: Emphasizes the stealth and social acceptance of gambling, its glamorization, and sky-high suicide risk.
• Honesty as the First Step: Recovery began at the moment of total honesty with self and loved ones.
• Support & Community: The crucial role of 12-step groups, peer support, and family, even after years of hurt.
• Changing the Conversation: Calls for more public, unvarnished discussions around gambling addiction, especially as legalized sports betting expands.

This episode is an unflinching look at addiction, trauma, and redemption. Louis’s candor and vivid storytelling reveal just how insidious compulsive gambling can be, as well as the hope possible through honesty, support, and relentless self-work.
If you or someone you love struggles with addiction or gambling, Louis’s journey is proof: recovery is possible, and you are never alone.