Podcast Title: We're All Insane
Host/Author: Devorah Roloff
Episode: I Was Adopted 21 Times
Release Date: June 2, 2025
Summary
In the emotionally charged episode "I Was Adopted 21 Times" of Devorah Roloff’s podcast "We're All Insane," Jessica courageously shares her tumultuous journey through multiple adoptions and foster care systems. Her narrative delves deep into the struggles, traumas, and eventual healing that have shaped her into the resilient person she is today. This detailed summary captures the essence of Jessica's story, highlighting key moments, discussions, and profound insights.
1. Early Life and First Adoption (00:00 - 03:09)
Jessica begins by introducing herself, recounting her birth in the Upper Wisconsin/Upper Michigan area. At birth, her biological mother, Julia Damiano, placed her for adoption. Jessica was first adopted by Colette and Mitchell in Texas, who had struggled with infertility and hoped to give Jessica a sibling.
- Notable Quote:
“Their names were Colette and Mitchell. They adopted me right at birth because they couldn't get pregnant.” (00:16)
2. Transition to Lydia and Bill's Care (03:09 - 09:39)
At the age of three or four, Colette and Mitchell decided they no longer wanted Jessica, leading to her adoption by Lydia and Bill, Colette's sister and husband. While Lydia and Bill provided a different environment, Jessica began feeling unwanted, often being locked in her room and isolated from her siblings.
- Notable Quotes:
“I felt safe around the dad and comfortable, just relaxed.” (02:31)
“They decided they didn't want me anymore. I have no idea why.” (03:26)
3. Life at Sunshine Acres Children's Home (09:39 - 26:47)
Upon turning eight, Jessica was moved to Sunshine Acres Children's Home in Mesa, Arizona. This transition marked a significant improvement in her life. At Sunshine Acres, Jessica found a supportive community, lasting friendships, and engaged in various activities. House parents Kent and Emily played a pivotal role, fostering her interests and providing the stability she longed for.
- Notable Quotes:
“This children's home was one of the best things, best memories of my childhood.” (04:39)
“They genuinely cared about us and let me be a kid.” (20:01)
4. Adoption by Bob and Janet Reed (26:47 - 34:35)
Jessica was selected for adoption by Bob and Janet Reed from Scottsdale, Arizona. Initially excited, she soon found the transition challenging, missing the close-knit community of Sunshine Acres. Adjusting to a new household with different expectations led to feelings of loss and confusion.
- Notable Quote:
“I was devastated. I didn't want to go.” (34:35)
5. Experiences at the Baptist Children's Home (35:05 - 70:21)
Due to unmet expectations and ongoing instability, Jessica moved to the Baptist Children's Home in Davison, Michigan. Here, she encountered strict and often abusive caregivers like Phil and Margaret. These experiences further eroded her self-esteem and sense of belonging.
- Notable Quotes:
“Phil and Margaret were very strict and verbally abusive.” (70:16)
“I felt isolated and ganged up on all the time.” (06:58)
6. Abuse by Joel and Kristen (100:21 - 137:45)
At seventeen, Jessica faced severe abuse from Joel and Kristen, a family she had come to view as her parents. Kristen sexually abused her, leading to profound emotional trauma. Despite attempts to seek help, Jessica felt trapped in a cycle of manipulation and control, deepening her sense of worthlessness.
- Notable Quotes:
“You knew what you did. You set the stage for that to happen.” (129:15)
“I was willing to compromise myself to stay in the family I thought I had.” (135:10)
7. Escaping and Further Struggles (137:46 - 181:58)
Jessica’s attempts to escape abusive environments led to further rejection and hardship. Living in a car, working multiple jobs, and dealing with financial instability compounded her mental health struggles. However, through faith and personal determination, she began to rebuild her life, finding solace in her relationship with Jesus and her supportive husband.
- Notable Quotes:
“Growing up, I knew what it was like to just not be loved by anyone.” (144:12)
“I am choosing my destiny. I'm gonna keep going in life. My life's gonna be great, and screw that.” (185:12)
8. Healing and Building a New Life (181:05 - End)
Despite the traumas, Jessica found strength in her faith and her marriage. She emphasizes the importance of not letting past abuses define her, showcasing her journey toward healing and happiness. Jessica now cherishes her five-year-old son and the supportive family she has created, contrasting sharply with her tumultuous childhood.
- Notable Quotes:
“I continue to heal and build an amazing relationship with my husband and child.” (179:57)
“I chose my own destiny and didn’t let my past define me.” (185:40)
Notable Quotes with Timestamps
- “I felt safe around the dad and comfortable, just relaxed.” (02:31)
- “They decided they didn't want me anymore. I have no idea why.” (03:26)
- “This children's home was one of the best things, best memories of my childhood.” (14:15)
- “Phil and Margaret were very strict and verbally abusive.” (70:16)
- “You knew what you did. You set the stage for that to happen.” (129:15)
- “I am choosing my destiny. I'm gonna keep going in life. My life's gonna be great, and screw that.” (185:12)
Key Themes and Insights
- Resilience Amidst Trauma: Jessica's journey underscores the human capacity to overcome profound adversity through inner strength and determination.
- Impact of Abusive Caregivers: Chronic abuse from multiple caregivers significantly affects a child's self-esteem and mental health, highlighting the need for supportive and nurturing environments.
- Search for Belonging: Jessica's repeated adoptions and placements reveal a deep-seated need for stable, loving relationships, emphasizing the psychological impacts of instability.
- Faith as a Source of Strength: Her relationship with Jesus plays a crucial role in her healing process, illustrating the power of faith in overcoming personal demons.
- Breaking the Cycle: Jessica's commitment to creating a loving family for herself and her son serves as a powerful testament to breaking free from a cycle of abuse and rejection.
Conclusion
Jessica's candid recounting in "I Was Adopted 21 Times" provides a raw and unfiltered look into the complexities of adoption and foster care systems. Her story is a beacon of hope for those navigating similar struggles, demonstrating that despite a childhood marred by instability and abuse, it is possible to carve out a path toward healing and happiness. Through her resilience and unwavering spirit, Jessica not only redefines her own destiny but also serves as an inspiration to others seeking to overcome their pasts.
End of Summary