Loading summary
Transcript306 lines
- [00:00]
Da Vorah
Hi guys, it's me, Da Vorah. I am so excited to finally share this with you all. I've officially launched a new subscription channel called We're All Insane plus where inside you will get access to never before heard bonus episodes, all podcast episodes, completely commercial free. And my brand new show, We're All Healing, where I sit down with experts, therapists, authors and healers to talk about how we actually process pain, reconnect with our true selves and rebuild after trauma. You can subscribe to We're All Insane plus in app on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or you can head over to we're all insane.com to learn more.
- [00:37]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
My name is Zach Comfort Zacchaeus. I was born into a cult that was on the west coast, and I was in there until I was about 10. The cult was. It was a commune. It was started by a guy named Tom Smith. And he was. He had molested his daughter and he wound up going to jail for that and also going to a psych ward. And it was in the psych ward that he decided he was going to start a church. He had this vision where he saw, like, in this cabinet designs that basically showed like, the end times and the life of Jesus and stuff like that. And then also, like, in it, he saw his role in, like, what he was supposed to do. So he decided he was going to start something called the Truth True Church because he believed everything else was just, you know, just a bunch of bs.
- [01:30]
Da Vorah
So was this before or after you were a part of it?
- [01:35]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Oh, before. This was 10 years.
- [01:36]
Da Vorah
Okay. So he molested his daughter, got caught, was in the psych ward, and then had these visions and then created the cult. Yeah, got it. Okay.
- [01:46]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Prior to that, he was in the army. He used to say he was like a Navy SEAL. And this was like around the World War II era. And I think, you know, they were like frogmen, which were the predecessors of the Navy seals. He said he was that. I checked his military record. He was not. So, you know, he did that. He owned a cabinet shop. And then after, you know, going to the jail in the psych ward, that's when he decided he was going to start this church. So that was in the 80s in Las Vegas. And, you know, it was. It was charismatic church. It was, you know, a lot of times people say, like, fire and brimstone type thing. People were like, speaking in tongues and doing stuff like that, which was fairly new for that. Like, I'm not sure if you're familiar with, like, the Jesus movement back okay. So, you know, that. That kind of stuff started popping up where people are dancing, singing, speaking in tongues, doing things like that. So his church was doing that. And, I mean, it was somewhat normal. When he first started it, you know, it just looked like, you know, normal charismatic church. But then he started, like, locking it down a little more. So and, you know, doing weird things. Like, he would. He would yell at people, like, like, in church, he. Well, I guess it wasn't so normal because he also, like, had people, like, start kissing each other and, you know, to greet. And then he started getting a little weird because he would start, like, French kissing people and, like, women, and then he would try to have people do it to each other, like, in front of, like, each other. And he specifically did that when he kissed women. He said it was for them to control their lust, so they had to French kiss him. And he was huge on, like. I mean, this guy didn't like women at all. I don't even know why any women joined this guy's group. But it, like, everything that happened was a woman's fault. Women, like, they. They were just these, like, lustful beings that, like, couldn't control themselves. So the. If you were in his church, you had to be married because. Or else you were just going to cause havoc.
- [03:49]
Da Vorah
But the husbands would be okay with the wise kissing him.
- [03:53]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- [03:54]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [03:55]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And so. So he. And one person did address that. I'll tell you, it just said it. So he. He was getting a little bold. So there was an underage girl in church, and he, you know, was making out with this underage girl, like, with her parents in the audience, and obviously people didn't like that. And funny enough, somebody reached out to me recently because I made a podcast about this, and they. And I get, you know, weird people reaching out to me sometimes. But so I was just listening to this guy talk, and he's like, describing that incident in detail. And I was like, oh, so sounds like he was there, you know, and so anyways, he had this, like, young girl come sit on his lap, and, like, he was making out with her in church. And a member that wasn't there goes up to him later and is like, hey, I heard, you know, you did this. Like, you know, he was thinking it was nonsense. He was like, of course you wouldn't do that. That's insane. And so the pastor grabs him by the face and he, you know, this is per. This guy's words, stuck his tongue in his mouth and started, like, making out with the guy.
- [04:57]
Da Vorah
And.
- [04:57]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And Then he said, you got a dirty mind. The only reason you think it's wrong is because you have a dirty mind. So the homeboy was wild, and so a decent amount of people left after that. But, I mean, that was still pretty early on. You know, people. People would join the church. You know, you could still kind of live your life pretty normally at the time while it was in Las Vegas, but you were. You were at church all the time, like, I mean, like five days a week.
- [05:24]
Da Vorah
So he had a pretty. Pretty decent amount of people that he was able to get to go.
- [05:29]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah, yeah. I mean, at its height and, you know, pretty. It wasn't a mega church, obviously, but, I mean, like, three, 400 people maybe at the height of it.
- [05:38]
Da Vorah
Easy.
- [05:38]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah.
- [05:39]
Da Vorah
Okay. But was he married still?
- [05:42]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah, he had been married a ton of times, and he was actually married at the time when he started it. And then he divorced his wife to marry a younger member that was, like, all about him. And then he was married to her for the next, you know, 20 years.
- [05:55]
Da Vorah
Okay, so at this point, your family wasn't part of it yet?
- [05:59]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
No, they had joined.
- [06:00]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [06:01]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah.
- [06:01]
Da Vorah
In Vegas.
- [06:02]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah.
- [06:02]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [06:03]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Which is a good point. This is why I. There's so much I'll forget. So. Yeah, so my parents joined in the 80s. So my mom came from an abusive family. She was, like, 16 at the time. Her dad, like, had kidnapped her, you know, kidnapped her when she was a kid, basically. He just took her out of her yard and then ran away to California. And then, you know, she had been sexually assaulted, not by her dad, but by her grandpa. And then. So she ended up going back to Vegas, which is where her mom lived, when she was, like, 14 or 15. And then a friend brought her to the church, so she joined around, like, 15, I want to say.
- [06:38]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [06:39]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And then my dad, he had a crazy life. His mom was a prostitute and a drug dealer in Oakland, California. And he. His. So, I mean, that was just wild. I mean, his mom was abusive. She'd. You know, she'd beat him all the time. You know, stuff like that. She'd give him drugs when he was a kid. You know, guys were coming in out of the house. So what he did is when he was, I think, 12 or something, his uncle was big. I'm. I'm actually probably gonna do an episode about his uncle, my great uncle. He was big in the social rights movement in Oakland at the time. The. So if, you know, the Black Panther party, he, like, kind of helped start that. He brought the name over the Black Panther name over from, you know, the. The Midwest, the South. And he was working with a guy, Stokely Carmichael, at the time over there. I brought it over. Huey Newton and Bobby Seale, they started the Black Panther Party. They liked the name, so they, you know, asked him if they could use it. And then he was very involved with it the whole time. But he had his own, like, organization on the side, too. And, I mean, people tried to kill him all the time. You know, he. He said the FBI was trying to kill him, you know, all the time. That's eventually why he moved to Oregon. And he bought this little cabin, like, up in the hills. And he always had a bunch of guns because he wanted to see people coming. And, I mean, the. When the Black Panther Party went to, like, storm the capital. I don't know if you're familiar with that incident.
- [08:09]
Da Vorah
So what. What is the Black Panther Party?
- [08:11]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
So they were a activist group back in the 60s. And what they did is there was a lot of police brutality at the time. So they would follow the cops around and watch them do arrests and make sure that they weren't, you know, beating and killing the people. And they also did a bunch of other things, too. They gave food, you know, they passed food around. They collected resources. They. There were. They, like, if you look at pictures of them, and, you know, my. My uncle's got a bunch of pictures and. Oh, boy. Films with them, too. They. They look militant. You know, they're wearing berets, they're wearing jackets. A lot of times they have weapons. But, you know, that. That was like the. That. That was pretty much the gist of what they did.
- [08:53]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [08:53]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And then, you know, they had something called Chapters, which were just groups that popped up, you know, all across the US after that. But it started in Oakland. And so he. He was doing that. You know, I got funny stories about that. But he was a guy. My uncle was a guy who. Great uncle. Who, like, didn't take from anybody. So when he was 5, he got beaten. He was climbing in a white woman's yard. He's black dude, obviously. He was climbing in this white lady's yard. And this was, you know, well before the 60s, you know, 40s, 30s maybe. And this was in the South. And so she beat the brakes off of him. Like, I mean, his head swelled up to where it was just like. Because she was just beating him with a stick. So his mom came out, allegedly shot her, shot the lady in the. In her front yard, and then, you know, took off, allegedly. And so. And he told My dad, that story later on, and he said, you know, nobody was ever gonna beat me again after that, you know, ever. And it was true. He stuck to that. You know, he. He never let anybody put him down again after that. So that happened. He moves up to Oregon, but he took my dad with him because my dad was, you know, obviously not in a good, good home. So he took him with him up to Oregon, adopted my dad, and then, you know, life was going on there. And then he got killed in front of my dad by his son, actually. So, you know, he did beat his kids pretty good. And, you know, that attitude of nobody's going to beat me also got passed down to his kids. So, you know, his kid wasn't going to just sit there and get, you know. Yeah, exactly. So he told my dad, he said, you know, if he. If he does that again, I'm going to. I'm going to kill him. And, you know, he didn't believe him. He was like, you know, whatever. So, you know, he came home one day and he was, you know, he was beaten, beating my dad's brother, you know, adopted brother. And so my dad said he just started hearing, like, these, like, pop, pop, pop. And, you know, he was. He was just taking a rifle to him and just shooting him through the house. And he. He fell down in my dad's room. And he said, you know, he can see his, like, fingers blown off. He has, like, holes in him and stuff like that. And, you know, he's just standing over him, you know, just firing the whole. Unloading the whole clip into him. And, I mean, even when it's empty, just click, click, click. And, you know, and then. So that. That was, like, my dad's life. And that happened when he was, like, 14, maybe, something like that. So he. He lived, you know, he lived there until he was 18, then joined the military or joined the Air Force. And then that's how he ended up in Vegas. And then he ended up getting invited to the church.
- [11:32]
Da Vorah
Okay, so that's where they met.
- [11:35]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
That's where they met.
- [11:35]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [11:36]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And I tell that story just so you kind of get like, an idea
- [11:40]
Da Vorah
of the people that joined. Yeah. Background. Like people that were troubled, like they needed some form of community.
- [11:49]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Exactly, exactly. Okay, so.
- [11:52]
Da Vorah
But they didn't. Neither one of your parents grew up religious, though.
- [11:56]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
That's actually a really good question. My mom was Catholic. She's Italian. So you're Catholic. But I mean, nothing serious. And then obviously my dad, like, he said he grew up, like, knowing about church and, like, knowing about the Bible.
- [12:08]
Da Vorah
But no, this was the really, like, their first.
- [12:11]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah, okay.
- [12:12]
Da Vorah
Got it first.
- [12:13]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Like, immersion into it. So that's how. That's how they joined.
- [12:18]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [12:18]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
That was in, like, the. The 80s. And again, things were fairly normal. You know, they're just going to church a lot. But then he. He started, like, having them cut themselves off from their families. So, like, you can no longer hang out with your families. They're of the world. There. There's some Bible verses he used to, like, you know, justify that. Yeah. And so they did that, and then they only started hanging out with each other. And then he also arranged marriages. So at first it was just like, you know, if you want to date, you go up to him and you're like, hey, I think, you know, this girl's pretty cute. And he'd be like, okay. You know, or he would say no. And then it got a little more extreme where he said, nobody can date anybody outside of the church. And not only that, but he was, like, putting people together. And so how my dad and my mom met or got married is he. My dad would get up and, you know, people would get up in front of the church and, like, say things that they were struggling with or, you know, anything like that. Kind of like, I don't know, like an AA meeting or something like that. And he said, you know, I'm. I'm having a problem with lust because one of the. One of the tenants of the church is, you know, you. You have to live, like, a perfect lifestyle. So obviously that means you're not sleeping with anybody outside of a wedlock. So, you know, he's saying that. And then the. The pastor says, brings my mom up, and he goes, do you want to marry this girl? And my dad said no. And. And so he starts yelling at him, and he's like. And, you know, my dad explained this, and he was like. The way he was yelling at me, I knew if I said no, he was going to ask me again, and if I said no, he was going to kick me out of the church. So he. And he did ask him again. He said, so, do you want to marry this girl? And he said, yeah. So that's how they got married. And that's pretty much how all marriages were, like, put together.
- [14:01]
Da Vorah
So prior to that, your mom and dad didn't even really have any type of, like, relationship or anything?
- [14:07]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Definitely no relationship. I mean, they knew of each other because everybody knew, you know, who everybody was, right? Everybody knew who everybody was. But, yeah, I mean, they hadn't dated you know, nothing like that. So, you know, they got together and then, you know, I'll just go back into like the church's story. So they're in Vegas for a while. You know, people, people are coming, going, you know, pretty frequently. And then he gives this end times prediction. Like, I think this was right before the 90s, like maybe 88, 87, something like that, or earlier. Actually, maybe it was 85. My timeline is all messed up. But he, but he did this because he had an idea that he wanted to start a commune. And so the easiest way, I think for him to do that was to say that the world was going to end, so we need to go be like self sufficient. And so he comes up with this prophecy where the world's going to end in this year. And this is something I don't understand because if you come up with a prophecy saying the world's going to end, like if you're right, ain't no. Nobody's going to be around to like, be like, yeah, good job, you were right. You know what I mean? So it's all risk and no reward. Because if you get it wrong, which everybody does it, you're. You look like an idiot. So he got it wrong, you know, but he, at least while he was like coming up with this prophecy or you know, end times prediction, he also put in the idea, like, we are going to start a commune. Like in the Book of Acts or something, it talks about everybody like having everything equal and like throwing everything into a pot, you know, I'm paraphrasing. And so he said, that's what we're going to do. We're going to throw everything into a pot. Every, everything's going to be equal. And, you know, that's what they did. Everybody sold their houses, their cars, quit their jobs. You know, when it, when it was time to move, they quit their jobs. I mean, liquidate, liquidated all their assets and then threw it in a pot. He brought, he bought some property out in Oregon, so Azalea, Oregon, nobody knows where that is. And, you know, moved everybody out there. And he said, you know, anybody, anybody that wants to leave can leave. Anybody that wants to say can stay. So he had probably like 250 members at the time. And then when he left or when he went to Oregon, half of them left easy. But he moved everybody else up. And that was like a, that, that, that was a pretty rough move because he started two businesses, a construction company and a cabinet company. And he worked people around the clock. So like you worked at Construction in like the first part of the day. And then you went and worked in the cabinet shop the last part of the day. And then he also bought a farm. So the women were like, the women and the children were, you know, working on the farm. And also at this time, nobody was like, he completely cut everybody off. Everybody had to wear the same thing, Everybody ate the same thing. You didn't watch tv, you didn't listen to the radio. We didn't. Anyway, the kids and women, I think the guys did on like the job sites. You didn't talk to anybody outside of the group. So you were, you were cut off. Commune. The only people you interacted with were the inside and you know, it. Like I said, it was pretty rough. People were barely eating and working around the clock, so people were hallucinating. On the job, people were like bone thin, losing weight. Kids were getting sick. And you know, eventually that changed because they started making money. But on the, on the kids getting sick, you know, part of that, part of the deal was like, when we pool all of our wealth, you're gonna have no needs. Like, your housing's gonna be taken care of, your medical, your food. Like, you don't have to worry about anything. You just work and we will, you know, he'll provide everything. That was more or less not true, obviously, but the, the kids, like, they, they'd get really sick and he wouldn't let anybody go to the doctor unless you were like about to die, basically. And there were some babies that did die, so there's two that I know of. One. So all, all births were done at home. One was.
- [18:10]
Da Vorah
Are you born at home?
- [18:11]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah, yeah, I was born at home, yeah.
- [18:12]
Da Vorah
Wow.
- [18:13]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And my mom has nine kids, so. Yeah, all born at home. Well, that was the thing. He, he wanted a workforce because we had, we had farms, we had businesses. And he was like, pop out as many as you can because he was
- [18:27]
Da Vorah
really just creating this whole little like army, basically.
- [18:31]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah, yeah. And I mean, you know, army's an interesting word because he was an alleged pacifist. Yeah, but yeah, definitely, like, like a army workers, you know, or a workforce. And so the, the babies. Babies. Right. So one was born at home, died, and he, he told him, just bury it in the backyard. So he, they put the baby in a suitcase. He had a 14 year old girl did dig the hole and they just threw the baby in the ground. And my mom was the midwife, you know, she delivered all the babies. But what the guy did is he. You could get in trouble for anything and when you got in trouble, there were different forms of discipline. And one of the forms of discipline is you weren't allowed to talk to anybody and nobody could talk to you. So my mom was at. It's called me an out of the fellowship. My mom at the time was out of the fellowship as the midwife. So she wasn't around. But when she found out that the baby had died, she went and recorded the death with the hospital or, you know, with the authorities or whatever to get a certificate of death, I think. So they were like, what. What'd you do with the baby? And, you know, she was like, you know, buried it in the yard. And they were like, you can't do that. So they dug up the baby. They had to bring it in for an autopsy, and they found out it died of natural causes. And for, you know, fortunately for my mom, unfortunately for the baby, or else she would have gone to jail, and I'm sure multiple people would have gone to jail. And then the other baby that died, this one's wild. So it was born really early, so I think at like five months or something like that, because the. The woman that was with child fell stairs, allegedly. And so the baby, you know, was like, popped out, was coming. So they go to a hospital, put the baby on, you know, life support, and Tom, the pastor, pretended to be the baby's dad, said he was the baby's dad, told them to take it off life support because. And he told. He told my mom or somebody, he said, you know, we can't afford it. It's putting like a strain on the. On the church, you know, and the baby's going to heaven anyway. So he told him to take it off life support. And so they did. And then the baby's mom didn't find out till the next day that he had done that. And the dad didn't find out for like two weeks because he was working. So, you know, this was just kind of, you know, kind of piece of this guy was.
- [20:51]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Tires matter. They're the only part of your vehicle that touches the road. Tread confidently with new tires from Tire Rack. Whether you're looking for expert recommendations or know exactly what you want. Tire Rack makes it easy, fast. Free shipping, free road hazard protection and. And convenient installation options. Go to tirerack.com to see Tire test results, tire ratings and consumer reviews, and be sure to check out all the special offers. Tirerack.com the way Tire buying should be.
- [21:21]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And I mean, I'll get into like, going. Going to the doctors later and stuff like that, but it was extremely rare. But the guy's pets. The guy had, like, dogs, you know, cats and those animals. Like, just one. One of those animals had more medical attention than probably all of the kids combined. Probably all of the members combined, so.
- [21:43]
Da Vorah
And how many kids did he have?
- [21:45]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
He had. He had a few from a previous marriage.
- [21:48]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [21:48]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
None of them talked to him anymore. There was one that joined the church with him. Obviously not the one that he, you know, sexually assaulted, but she ended up leaving, you know.
- [21:57]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [21:57]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Early on, and he. It's interesting you ask, because that'll come into play later on.
- [22:03]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [22:03]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Because he didn't have kids in. The wife that he married. The younger girl that he married couldn't have kids either, so he ended up taking kids from other families. And I'll tell you more about that later.
- [22:14]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [22:14]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
So anyways, they're in Oregon. They're there for a couple years. And I want to say around 88, there was this guy, Larry Singleton. I don't know if, you know, he was called the Mad Chopper. But he had cut off this girl and Mary Vincent, I think was her name. And she. He cut off both of her arms, raped her, left her for dead. She was like that show I Survived or something like that. So that guy had been in prison for a long time, and when they were letting him out, nobody want, like, no community wanted this guy, you know, in their community. So they were like, you know, protest. You know, the equivalent of protesting.
- [22:49]
Da Vorah
How did he get out?
- [22:51]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
I mean, you only go to jail for so long, you know, for certain crimes.
- [22:55]
Da Vorah
That is crazy.
- [22:57]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah. I.
- [22:58]
Da Vorah
And the girl survived that.
- [22:59]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
The girl survived. Yeah. I think it was Mary Vincent.
- [23:02]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [23:02]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
I don't want to, you know. Butcher. Yeah, butcher. That part of it. But, yeah. And, you know, 10 years for that. And, you know, because it's not murder, it's attempted murder. And you have a really good argument for that. You have a really good argument for locking him up forever. But he. That didn't happen. So. And he. So it was on the news that this guy's getting released, and there's, like, an outcry. Nobody wants him in their community. So the pastor did is, you know, he talked to the. To the church, and he told everybody. He was like, I think this guy's innocent. I don't think he did it. But at the same time, he was like, but I also have this connection to him because, you know, he went to jail and he got saved. You know, he found Jesus or whatever. And the pastor said, I went to jail. And I found Jesus. So if I can be forgiven for my, you know, crime sins, this guy can too. So he said he can come live with us. And he went on the news and did that and said, you know, he can come live with us. And he talked to the guy and all that stuff. And I mean, we're in a small town in Oregon. Nobody wanted that to happen. So what they did is the locals in the area, you know, just started messing, you know, messing with us, you know, cutting fences, letting cows out, setting things on fire, shooting. They would come by and shoot at the house and stuff. And like, I remember we had this big gas tank and there was a bunch of bullet holes in the, in the gas tank because people would come by and try to blow it up. And my, my mom, she would all. She, you know, she didn't like my dad too much, you know, at the time. And she said, you know, your dad, when they shooting at the house, he would like, he'd be like hiding behind something and she would, you know, she'd get, be upset at him for that. And I was like, well, yeah, and she was like, I'd go out and yell at him and, you know, try to get him to go away. And I was like, well, he did, you know, he did watch somebody get shot to death in front of him. He probably, you know, so anyways, that happened and then it was the pastor said, you know, we're still going to take them. They're going to have to kill us. And he was going to come live where we live, like in my, my parents house. And I was like, if. Hell no. So, you know, I'm glad that didn't happen. And it was the, the guy, Larry Singleton, who said, you know, actually I'm good. You know, it seems like that's causing a lot of problems. He probably didn't want to come moving and get shot at. So he said, I'm good, you know, thanks for the offer. And it was for the best because a couple years later he went back to prison. He stabbed some lady to death in his, in his home. So, you know, jeez. He clearly hadn't, you know, repented of his ways and neither did the pastor. You know, that'll come into play later on too. But so. And then in the 90s, I, you know, I was born, I was born in 1990 and by then the church was just like a mad house. So like, if you, like every day you went to church and I mean every day in general you were like, you were abused physically, verbally, like something. And when you went to church, you like, you saw this, like adults would be hitting each other, they'd be hitting their wives. The pastor would be like punching people, choking people. He'd, he'd have like husbands bring their wives up and slap them, you know, beat them with like in church. So you're like, you're seeing domestic violence in church. And you know, normally that's something you might see at home and you know, you know that it's not supposed to happen, but when it's happening at church, you know, it's kind of messed up because especially in like that communal like living, because you don't know anything else. So you think, I'm going to church. I know I'm going to see somebody get yelled at. Somebody's probably going to get hit. You're going to get screamed at. So you see this like domestic violence in church. And it's not only condoned by everybody, you know, and expected, but you also think this is like, condoned by like God, you know, because.
- [26:57]
Da Vorah
Right. You're watching a leader do it.
- [26:58]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah. You're in church and he's telling you, you know, everybody deserves it because of like either the sins they've been doing or something like that.
- [27:05]
Da Vorah
Right.
- [27:06]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
So, I mean, that was unpleasant. And then you, you go home and you just get it. You get it too. And I mean, the, the abuse was bad for the kids. Some kids got it like way worse than others. I mean, you know, anything you got hit with, anything you can think of, you know, extension cords, paddles, sticks, you know, hammer, hammer handles, you know, just anything that was around and they, they'd even like, they were kind of sadistic. Not everybody, but a good amount of people were a little sadistic about it because it wasn't just you got beat for what you did wrong. And I mean, a lot of times you didn't do anything wrong.
- [27:43]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [27:44]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And they would make you. And this came, you know, this was a trickle down effect. So he would do this to them and then they do it to you. So like they, if you, you went to church, he'd like bring you up and he'd say, just crazy. He'd be like, yeah, you were masturbating. Like, I, I know you, you, you've been masturbating. And you'd be like, no, I wasn't. Because a lot of people, you know, didn't. They thought if you did that, you were like, you're going to hell. He even said you were gay. He said if you masturbated, you were gay, because that was a man loving himself, and that's the first step to homosexuality. And he'd call people up and, you know, be like, you were masturbating or you were having, like, lustful thoughts. And they'd be like, no, I wasn't. And then he'd be like, are you calling me. Are you calling me a liar? And then that was even worse than if you were doing what he accused you of. So you're just like, yeah, I was doing it. And so, you know, that happened to the kids, too. Even if you didn't do something, something, they'd push you until you said you did. And then. Then you got a punishment. But, yeah, they'd, like. Like one instance, you know, they. They beat these kids with extension cords, and then they'd put them in hot water after, so it stung. And, you know, a lot of the times it was like, you got to beat them until they bleed. You got to beat them until they cry. And then there was other forms of punishment, too, which were not physical, which was like being out of the fellowship, which was. You weren't allowed to talk to anybody. Nobody could talk to you. You didn't. You slept separately from everybody. You ate separately from everybody. And you ate different, too. So not that the food there was great by any means at all, but you would only eat rice. And this could go. You could be out of the fellowship for two weeks, or I would say the average was about six weeks, where you could be out of the fellowship for half, half a year. You know, and as a kid, too, so, you know, all grown up, I was out of the fellowship. Me. Not just me. Every. Everybody. The adults, too. And, you know, I'd go weeks, months, sometimes without saying a single word to anybody or anybody saying anything to me.
- [29:39]
Da Vorah
Including your parents?
- [29:40]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Including. Oh, yeah, definitely. And if he found out that they did, they got in trouble. And he could also, if he felt like a parent wasn't disciplining a kid enough, he would take them away from their family and send them to another family that would discipline them enough. And, you know, that happened to. To my brother and my sister, my oldest brother and sister. And, you know, they just got, you know, the shit kicked out of them. So, yeah, so you, you know, you could be out of the fellowship. And those. Those are. I actually preferred that form of punishment. Sometimes they'd ask you. They'd be like, you know, what do you think should happen to you? For who knows what. Who, you know, really, I like legitimately growing up. I don't think I did a single thing that I. My. Because I have a daughter now that she would. That would even like, show up on my radar that she should be in trouble for. You know what I mean? But, I mean, I. You would get severely beat. You couldn't talk to anybody for months. You'd have to eat rice. You get starved sometimes so that, like, they would be like. Because you. You had to work, you took on an extra workload if you were out of the fellowship. And I mean, you were working your ass off anyway, so. Yeah, what's the difference?
- [30:50]
Da Vorah
What about schooling?
- [30:51]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah, so schooling they actually did do. They had a school set up, and
- [30:56]
Da Vorah
so you were even going to school through them?
- [30:59]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yes.
- [30:59]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [31:00]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Oh, yeah. Oh, you didn't. You didn't go.
- [31:01]
Da Vorah
There was no okay.
- [31:02]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
I didn't talk to a single person outside of the church until I was 10. And so they had a school in there. And this. The schooling was actually all right. You know, I learned to read and write very well, but I didn't learn lick of math. They taught it. But if you got in trouble, you didn't do school. If you. I honestly, I don't know how I got around doing. Not doing math. Everybody else did math. They learned it. I'm. I'm actually, I'm having. I have trouble with math to this day because I just never learned it. I can do like, you know, basic addition and stuff like that. Multiplication, division, you know, I learned that stuff later on. Okay.
- [31:38]
Da Vorah
And I. And I had it normal. So, you know, it's just math.
- [31:43]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Could be. It could be that too. Oh, I hated math. I don't think even if they taught me, I'd be good at it. So. But I mean, I just always got around, like, not doing my math somehow. And then later on, like, I, we. We stopped going to school or, you know, attending like, the school because we got moved out to these farms. And then you were expected to do these worksheets. And so you do your worksheets. Like, pretty much if you were eating, you were doing your worksheets, and then you get out and go back to work. And that expectation just kind of like disappeared. Everybody was so stressed out. Like, by the time, you know, I was like 7, 8, 9 years old, nobody was really paying attention to, you know, worksheets, you know, but the school was all right, you know, during that, I learned to read and write, you know, at least fortunate for that. So you'd get. You would get meals taken away a lot of the times, like all day, two days in a row, you Know, something like that. And there. There were times where I'd eat dog food. And I got that. I got that hack from my brother because, you know, we. We hadn't eaten for a minute and he was out. He was eating. Eating dog food. And I was like, the hell are you doing? And he was like, dude, it's not. It's not that bad. And so I was eating dog food and, you know, to. To my. I don't know, shame, I guess. I was looking. There were, like, different colored dog food for the one they bought, and I tried to get the different colored one because I thought it tasted better. Right?
- [33:09]
Da Vorah
Yeah, each one's a different flavor.
- [33:10]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah, yeah. It wasn't, but anyways, you know, stuff like that, so. And I mean, kids were treated like shit. Like, I mean, beyond the, you know, babies dying and nobody going to the hospital. I mean, he. He put an ad in the paper for my brother and sister one time saying, any. You know, I think he said, like, incorrigible children or child or something like that. Anybody that wants them can take them. You know, Put an ad in the paper for a kid like you. What the. And, you know, somebody reported that, obviously. And in church he said, you know, I guess it's illegal to put your children in the paper. He goes, so I guess we'll have to keep them. And that was kind of the attitude, like, everybody had, like, towards the kids. Like, you didn't feel. You didn't feel loved it at all, so.
- [33:59]
Da Vorah
But did you feel love from your parents?
- [34:02]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Very. It. No, is what I want to say. Very little.
- [34:08]
Da Vorah
Because they were just following kind of his roles.
- [34:10]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, I mean, for 10 years, I don't remember a single nice or, like, positive thing said to me. Like, I didn't hear a nice word for 10 years. And, you know, I was 10. There were people that were there till 14, 15, whatever.
- [34:26]
Da Vorah
Parents eventually, like, fall in love at all, or did they just.
- [34:30]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
No.
- [34:30]
Da Vorah
Okay. So they were just together because they were told.
- [34:32]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah, yeah, some people did. Some couples worked out and they're still married to this day, but not them. Okay.
- [34:41]
Da Vorah
And she had nine kids with your dad?
- [34:43]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah, yeah, a lot of kids.
- [34:45]
Da Vorah
What's the oldest and what's the youngest?
- [34:47]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Damn.
- [34:48]
Da Vorah
Putting you on the spot.
- [34:50]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
The oldest might be 40. Okay, 41 maybe, something like that. And the youngest. Oh, what's the youngest on from? Just there and then. My dad has other kids too.
- [35:03]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [35:04]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Damn it. Karen. Karen's probably 26, 27, something like that.
- [35:09]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [35:09]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
She just got out of Prison. And she's doing very well now, but. Oh. So anyways, yeah, kids were just, you know, and, you know, that happened all that, like, I hated, like, I hated people at that time. And I. And I. I know I can't be the only one. And like, the. The amount of, like, anger I had towards people around me was insane. But you. You got to be blank face or else he'll, you know, oh, you got a problem. And then, you know, he'd start going at you like that. So. And I mean, that. That affected other kids. I mean, you. I could start seeing how that affected him. You know, looking back, like, I watched one kid, it took some kittens we had, and we had a pen full of, like, Alaskan huskies. And he took the kittens and threw them into the huskies. And I, you know, I watched him just tear these cats apart. And he was just watching and, you know, and the same. Same person, I found like, a bird. And I. I hid this bird from him because, like, a baby bird, I was. I was feeding it and I hid it because I knew if he found it, he was going to kill it. And I put in these bushes and he must have. He had to have seen me hide it because I went out like two hours later find it, and it was gone. And so I was like, damn. So I was like, I gotta find him because I know it's. That's where it is. And I saw him walking away from the barn, and we had these, like, makeshift slingshots that we had where, you know, you cut down a tree branch, it has like a Y. And, you know, you wrap a bunch of rubber bands around. He was walking away with this slingshot. And I go over and that my. The bird I had just splatted against the wall. And, you know, he told me later he was just shooting it against the wall with slingshot and, you know, another kid. And this is the, like, the earliest memory I have is I would. I was laying down for a nap and another kid would come in and put a pillow over, and I was like, you know, three, four, maybe probably three. Put a pillow over my face until I passed out, like, because I remember, you know, that feeling of suffocating. I don't know, you. You like, kind of. You kind of like freak out and then just blackened up. I'd wake up and that happened multiple times. But my point is that, you know, it was clearly affecting the kids and their behavior. And so, you know, that was. That was kind of life in that the men and women could get kicked out of the church at any time. And, you know, on top of. On top of. And I'm skipping so much, you know, abuse that happened, like, if you did something like you forgot to, I don't know, take out the trash or something like that, he could tell you to shave your head. And that would happen all the time. So, you know, you just have to, like, buzz your head. And then you'd be bald for, you know, however long until he let you grow your hair back. And, you know, that was just life for them. They could get kicked out. Nobody wanted to get kicked out because. Especially the kids. Because you think being raised in that you were taught that outside world was just this, like, crazy place, like Mad Max. Like, people were killing each other. You know, sexual assault was happening all the time. There were, like, demons flying around everywhere. So you were like, I definitely don't want to get kicked out. Oh, yeah. The adults, they had lived in both worlds, so they knew better, obviously, but they still didn't want to get kicked out because they obviously believed what he was selling, or else they wouldn't be there in the first place. So. But he would. He would kick you out. He'd be like, all right, you gotta go. And when he kicked you out, you literally dropped what you were doing and walked down the street, and you left your wife, you left your kids. And he could either. You know, apparently he would tell people that he was planning on bringing back. He was just kind of making, like, an example of you, you know, getting. Get in touch with the church when you leave. And you could be gone for a week, you could be gone for three months, you know, and surprisingly, even after, like, the longer hiatuses, people still came back. And he would say, while you're out, you can't talk. You can't go to church anywhere else. He called that spiritual fornication. So, like I said, this dude. This dude was a trip.
- [39:10]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [39:12]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
So you couldn't talk to anybody else. You were supposed to work. A lot of people just lived. You know, they were homeless while they were out, you know, and he. You know, maybe he'd call you back, maybe he didn't. If he didn't call you back, he would have your wife divorce you. And there was only one person that I know of that got their kids out of there, and it's because he got a lawyer. I guess he had some inheritance just randomly and, you know, decided he was gonna get a lawyer for that. Everybody else just left their kids, left their wife. One guy, when he got kicked out, he came back and he found out that he had been divorced. Like, his wife divorced him in like the six weeks or a month, two months he was gone and married to another guy. And the other guy was, you know, he felt terrible about it because he was like, you know, I shouldn't have married his words. I shouldn't have married my brother's wife. And everybody called each other brother, sister. You called them dad and mom. We called them grandpa and grandma, you know, the. The pastor. And another thing is, is you, when you got kicked out, you had cut all ties with your family. He. Early on, he had you write letters to your family, not me, the adults, telling them you didn't want anything to do with them, leave you alone, you know, just basically giving it to them, you know, so that. So you would cut them off. And sometimes they would send mail, though, to the church. And one guy they didn't know, he had this letter for 10 years. The pastor kept it from him. So when he got kicked out, they gave him, you know, some of his stuff. And mind you, this was like, this was a rare occasion this happened that you got anything. A lot of times you didn't get money, you didn't get food, you didn't get clothes. You just had to leave. But they gave this guy his stuff, and he was like, thinking of all the things he wanted to say to his mom, like when he was going home and he reads the letter, found out she died way before, you know, years before. So he was, you know, you don't even know what's going on with your family. So, yeah, so, you know, nobody wanted to get kicked out. And one thing that did happen was there was a family that tried to rescue their. Their daughter and her family from that group. So they actually kidnapped her. And that, that was a whole thing because on the farms that, that we lived at, you know, they had walkie talkies so they could. They could keep in contact with the people out in the fields. And I mean, we lived away from everybody. And they started picking up, like, people speaking Spanish on the radios. And they were like, what the hell is that? And they didn't know that it was this girl's family. And they were, like, surveying the place and, you know, talking to each other on their own radios.
- [41:52]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
USAA knows dynamic duos can save the day like superheroes and sidekicks or auto and home insurance. With usaa, you can bundle your auto and home and save up to 10%. Tap the banner to learn more and get a'@usaa.com bundle restrictions apply.
- [42:07]
Da Vorah
REI has ultralight backpacking gear. So for you, Graham counters and ounce
- [42:12]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
shavers, we made this ad ultralight with
- [42:15]
Da Vorah
a base wait of just 13 seconds. The next 17 seconds pure. Find more with less in store and@rei.com
- [42:37]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
and so I guess, you know, one of those nights they broke in, you know, guns, stun guns, tased the people in the house, took the kids, threw them in the trunk, took the. Took their daughter and took. Took off. And they went to, you know, they got caught a couple days later or something like that, because they knew exactly who it was. They knew. You know, they figured it was her family. So, you know, those guys got caught and then they went to court and that, you know, all the charges got dropped because their lawyer basically pointed out they were like, they're trying to help their kid out of this situation. And, you know, the way my parents tell that story is they. They said the lawyer just made them look bad. You know, they. They said they were a bunch of boiled. Like boiled frogs. You know, they didn't even realize how. What kind of situation they were in. And so they got off of that. But, you know, that was. That was. That. That was just kind of, you know, life in the church. And then when things. I would say this. This was the worst part, you know, for the kids was Tom, the pastor decided that he wanted to. His wife wanted kids, allegedly, but she. She couldn't have children. So he basically started asking the members if he could have their children. And that asking went then to. To telling. So once they were like, yeah, you can have my kid, and, you know, he take. He take kids. So, like, some of my family members, because I had a big family, he take kids from my family and give them to other people to raise. And. And those were now your kids. And obviously there was no, like, legal adoption, nothing like that. So, you know, one of my brothers was raised for, you know, eight, nine years by another family. My sister, younger sister, was raised for four years or five years by the pastor. He took her to his house, and then he would also take kids, you know, to his house. And none of the kids stayed there long, like, besides my sister, who he had since she was a baby. And I. I remember thinking, I like, you know, I'm a kid, and, you know, he. He would, you know, in church, he'd be like, you know, I'm gonna take so. And so they're gonna be, you know, my son now. And, you know, you would go to church with your family, and then you'd leave church with him, and that was your new dad and your new mom. And I always remembered, I was like, man, why are none of these kids sticking around? You know? I was like, he. You know, at the time, even though I. I hated the things that were going on, I was told every day that this guy was a prophet and was like, this holy man. So I believe. I kind of, you know, kind of. I did believe that, and until one day when I found out he was bullshitting, because I. I. My brother threw a lasso around my neck, and it like. Like, you know, kicked me back. And when you got a lasso around your neck, you get a big ass, like, burn. And so I went to church and I put. Put my. My collar up really high. That way nobody would see it, so neither of us would get in trouble. And he. He, like, saw, you know, something on my neck, and he pulled down my shirt, and he goes, how'd you get that? And I was under the impression that he could read your mind, right? But I was like, I'm just gonna wing it. I was like, I'm gonna, like. So I said, I ran into something, and I fully expected him to go, that's not what happened. You're like, and me to get in trouble. And he just kind of shook his head and walks away. I was like, this guy can't read my mind. So I. So, you know, I was a little disillusioned then. But anyways, I was like, you know, these kids are getting this privilege to go live with this guy, and, you know, he never picked me, you know, at the time, so. But they'd always leave after, like, a couple weeks maybe, you know, a couple months. Oh, he did have one other boy that lived with him for a while, but that was the guy that left and got a lawyer and got his family. That was the kid. So he got his kid back like that. It was when it was my turn, I. He was looking at me all day, and it might have been the week before or something, but you'd go to church on Sundays, and you were there for hours and hours and hours. And he kept looking at me, looking at me. And I was like. I was like, I think he's gonna ask me, like, he's going to tell me I got to go home with him. And sure enough, church was over. Calls me up to the front of the church, and he says, you know, would you like to come home with me today? And you don't say no. So I was, you know, I said, yeah. And then he said, okay. He goes, this is my. This is my son. He's, you know, coming home with me, so, you know, I can't. Like I said, you come with your family, you leave with him. So, you know, I, you know, you didn't, I already knew not to like go say bye to my, my parents and they didn't say bye to me because you'd get yelled at. He'd be like, you know, are you ungrateful? You know, he'd yell at them, he'd yell at you, just don't do it. So I didn't say anything, you know, I just kind of like looked at my brothers, you know, and, you know, peaced out and that in mind you this entire time. We don't go to restaurants, we eat plain ass food. You don't go anywhere, you don't talk to anybody. First thing we do when we leave church, he goes to a restaurant, takes me to a restaurant. And I got anxiety like crazy because I was like, what are we doing? I was like, you're not supposed to do this. You've been telling us you ain't supposed to do this, why are you doing it? And so, you know, we go out, we eat, everybody's friendly. I was like, interesting, interesting. And then I remember he brought Sprite. I didn't know this at the time because I didn't have soda. And he was laughing, he was like, he was like, bring him a Sprite. And I thought it was water. And he knew that I thought it was water because he's just watching me and I take a, you know, big ass drink and I've just kind of vomited it everywhere. Because if you've never had soda before, it burns your throat and you're not expecting like the carbonation and you can't take like a big drink of it. And I did, and he started laughing and. But you know, that that was first soda I ever had. First time I'd been to a restaurant, anything like that.
- [48:30]
Da Vorah
And how old were you?
- [48:34]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Seven.
- [48:34]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [48:35]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Probably seven and a half, you know, somewhere around there. I didn't know how old I was until I left. So it's kind of hard to like. Yeah, the age. Yeah. But old enough to remember details like that. And so go back to his house and, you know, I'm there for a couple weeks and it was crazy because I didn't have to work. Like since I can't remember, I've had to work to some capacity. And the older you get, the harder you work, the more chores you have, the more. And chores is like a light term. You were working like labor. Oh, yeah, like hard. And so I was like, what am I supposed to do? I don't, I'm not working, you know, and any toys and stuff. And he had a tv, all this stuff you're not supposed to have, this guy had. And I just remember thinking, I was like, man, why do kids leave? I'm like, I don't have to work. You eat better food. Like you get corn dogs. I, I never had a corn dog in my life. And, and, and you get toys and stuff. You know, you're playing with toys. My brother at the time who, what he had got taken away and was living with another family. That family was like the sec. The family that was second in charge, the lady. So he'd come over and play with me and stuff. And at the time I didn't. I like kinda knew he was my brother but like it didn't register at the time. It was just like another, you know, another kid. And I was like, oh, this is great. And you know, he would still yell at you and do stuff like that, but nothing compared to getting beat by like, you know, your parents. And I mean my. Not just my parents, but everybody, they were like somewhat sadistic with it. Again, you know, sorry to get back into this but like they would do things like make. They had a paddle contest like where they make like the. A paddle that like can do the most harmful. So you know, they like. I mean they polish the handles. They. They put these like tire rubber basically on the. And screwed them into these like wooden handles and then they drilled holes in them and they were laughing about it for. It was like, for less wind resistance. And they just beat the shit out of you with these things. So, you know, a slap from. From a dude that's like 60, not going to bother me. And so anyways, about two weeks in, something like that. And I remember one wanting to make it to a certain point because one of the kids got a toy after like, I think he made it like three weeks or a month or something like that and he got a toy. I remember thinking if I do leave, because I thought I was gonna it up. I was like, I at least want to stay long enough so I can get a toy. And anyways that's, that's when he started doing, doing stuff. And you know, he came in. I'm not going to get into the details, you know, I just can't. And so he'd come into the room and check, you know, he said he was checking to see if he peed the bed, but that's not what was happening and, or, you know, it was, but how he checked was different. And anyway, so, so that happened, and I, I remember being like, fuck this, basically.
- [51:34]
Da Vorah
So I'm assuming you did that to your sister, too.
- [51:36]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Most definitely. But I, I, I didn't, I didn't connect the dots at the time. And, I mean, now I know why kids were leaving. Like, you're, Nobody's gonna stick around for that. And I was. Fortunately for me, I knew I could leave because other kids left. So I was like, they're clearly like, you don't have to stay here. So I was sitting in the living room and watching tv, and mind you, this is how bad I wanted to leave. I never got to watch tv. And we were watching tv, and all I can think about is, I don't want to go back to sleep. Like, I don't want to go back in the room. I don't want to go back to sleep. So I'm just sitting there the whole time and watching tv. And they said to my parents and everything they said, it came out of the blue. We're watching tv. And out of the blue, he just says, I want to go home. And I did. I said, I, you know, I, like, didn't look at him. I looked at his wife, and I said, I want to go home.
- [52:29]
Da Vorah
And do you think she was aware?
- [52:34]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
No. No. Allegedly.
- [52:37]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [52:37]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
But it, I, I feel like it's hard to not be aware, but as far as I know, she didn't know. And this is, this is partly why I think she didn't know, because when I said, I want to go home, he started screaming at me. He was like, you're, you know, you ungrateful, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she's looking at me just, like, disgust, like, you know. And he said, call Carol. That was his second in charge. He said, tell her to get this ungrateful little punk out of my house. Blah, blah, blah. And so his wife, you know, she goes, yeah, it was just out of the blue. I don't, you know, I don't know where it came from. Blah, blah, blah. And she was disgusted with me. So I'm thinking, like, if she knew that lady. But it seemed like she didn't know, and she just thought that I was, like, some ungrateful kid that didn't, you know, appreciate the things that they were offering me. So then, you know, the lady comes and picks me up and, and she starts, you know, going in on me, like, I don't understand what I just gave up. And, you Know, I could have been the son of the prophet. And you know, all these things, I just remember thinking, whatever, just get me, you know, get me the hell about here. And so I go home and he put me out of the fellowship. He called and said I had to be out of the fellowship, which means you can't talk to anybody and nobody can talk to you. And that is an excellent way to make it to where nobody finds out what you did. But I wasn't going to tell anybody anyway because one who was going to believe me, this guy, this guy was always, always can. Like not convicting. What's the word I'm looking for? Saying, yeah, you know, saying that people were molesting dogs, lusting after each other. He called a five, six year old girl up to up in front of church one day to say that she was, you know, lusting after him. It's like she doesn't even know what that is.
- [54:32]
Da Vorah
Right.
- [54:33]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
You know, and so if you said something happened, nobody's gonna believe you. You're gonna get in trouble because you're even thinking about that stuff. So I wasn't gonna say anything anyway, but he put me out of this fellowship. Probably just to make sure, you know, I didn't. Yeah, I didn't get a toy. So I was, I was kind of bummed about that. But you know, it. And so, and you know, that wasn't. I wasn't the only one that happened to, you know, that. No, to a lot of other people. And you know, looking back, especially when I was a little bit older, I felt super, super bad because, you know, my, and I mean, my sister was there, but she wasn't like, I didn't feel like she was my sister because I wasn't raised with her. But I mean, if that was going on, you know, it was going on with her too. And I mean, you're, it's crazy to me, like thinking about that situation. Obviously the adults in there were brainwashed. They weren't thinking clearly. But this is a guy that told everybody he molested his daughter. I got, I got a news clip of this guy on the news. They say, you know, because they're interviewing him because he's in this crazy, like, communal group. And this is when he wanted that Larry Singleton guy to move in. So, you know, they're talking to him about it and you know, they asked him, they said, you know, didn't you like, you know, you have charges of like molesting your daughter? And he goes, I didn't molest her. She came on to me, she wanted it. And he's saying this on the news, you know what I mean? So, like, me knowing if I would have seen that as an adult, I would be like, scared. This guy's not sorry, you know what I mean? He's. He clearly doesn't think what he did was wrong. He's blaming it on his daughter off. So. So anyways. But our parents were just. They were like, yeah, you want to take our kids to your house, cool. You know, take them. You know, obviously that doesn't track with somebody that's thinking clearly. That's. That's an insane thing to do. Why would you even be around an individual like that? But, yeah, so that happened and then how we ended up leaving and. And, you know, one person ran away that I know of. Two technically, but one ran away a long time ago. And, you know, they found her, but then they said they kind of let her run away. They let her go to her dad's, her mom did anyway. And this was a young girl that had been her married, she was underage and she had been arranged to marry and older man. And she is not about that. So she, you know, took off. And my sister also ran away, but she was special needs and so she took off. Somebody picked her up and, you know, sexually assaulted her. And then the cops brought her back. And so, you know, people are just thinking, if you leave, like, this is what's going to happen to you type thing. On top of the fact people were shooting at us, you know, all the time we lived. We. At one point we lived near, you know, the Rajnishi cult. They were in Oregon. Wild Country. Was the documentary made about him? Yeah, or Wild Wild country or something like that. We live near them. People thought we were associated. So, you know, they gave us about that anyways, so you don't feel like you can leave. But eventually when we did leave, it's because I. I ended up going to the doctor for some things that were going on. And when I went, it was pretty soon after I. I had to be a little older, actually. Yeah, maybe I was a little older when I lived with them, now that I think about it. So they saw signs of physical abuse, obviously, because you had bruises on you.
- [58:02]
Da Vorah
Yeah, every single day.
- [58:04]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
So it wasn't the sexual abuse with me because I was a little older at this point. I was probably about 10, 9 or 10. But my sister also had to go to the doctor at the same time and they clearly noticed that there was evidence of sexual abuse. So since we had the same Last name. They brought both of us in, and they do a thorough examination of your whole body. I remember I tied. They. You know, they put me in a gown, and I tied a knot and everything I could because I didn't want to take nothing off. But, you know, they. They take it off anyway, and, you know, they look over your whole body. And then Child services, you know, they sent child services out to. Out to where we lived and stuff. And the pastor told the adults to stop beating us. He said, just don't leave any bruises. And so, you know, they did other things. They kicked you out of the fellowship. They put. They'd make you stand on the wall. And that doesn't sound so crazy because you're just standing against the wall. But they left me on the wall one night, all night long, until like, 2, 3 in the morning, and I. And they forgot I was there because my dad came out to go to the bathroom, and I scared him. And he's like. And then. But he. He pretended like. Like he didn't forget. He goes, did you learn. Did you learn your lesson? And I was like, yeah. And I was like, he forgot. He didn't know I was out here, right? So, you know, stuff like that. But. And then I was pretty malnourished because I started getting in a lot of trouble after that. It felt like he was. He was targeting me. I'm sure everybody felt like this, but it really felt like he was targeting me, and he hated me. After I left, maybe it's because I asked to go home. I don't know. But, I mean, he always called me names, always said I was gay, always was, you know, saying I was masturbating, doing stuff like that. But anyways, I was super skinny. So when he found out Child services were getting involved, all of a sudden, morning, noon, and night, I had to drink these shakes with ice cream in them. And I remember that because they were delicious. And I didn't know at the time he was trying to get me to gain weight. That way everything looked normal. But I was like, where'd this come from? This is great. No, none of the other kids got to drink it, but I was drinking these shakes. And anyways, so child services came through. They coached us to, like, lie to them. And, you know, I specifically remember, like. Think I didn't say it because, you know, you. You get in trouble. But I was like, you're. What you're telling me to do is not tell the truth. In my entire life, you've told me I have to tell the Truth, but you're telling me not to tell the truth. And they said it's because, you know, they're not. They're not Christian. They're, you know, they don't. They don't believe what we believe. So you're not really lying to them. You're, you know, because they. They don't count their Gentile, you know, whatever. The Gentiles, you know, you can't. You can't lie to people that don't, you know, they don't mean anything. So. So, yeah, so, you know, we lied to him. We told him, no, everything's fine. You know, my sister came back to live with us. My brother came back to live with us because these are illegal adoptions. He's a sex offender. You can't adopt a child. But he has children coming to his house all the time, so he had to give them back. And then he had my mom, you know, he stood over, had her write a letter to, you know, child services saying that, you know, our. Her kids have always lived with her. They're fine. He had a lawyer involved, all that stuff. And Child Services, eventually, after. I think mostly it was after that lawyer got involved, just backed off. But I. I think that spooked him a little bit because then he started kicking everybody out. So. And, I mean, they had tons of money at this time. Like, they were making so much money. And again, we never. We never got better clothes. We never got better food, nothing. But this guy had so many cars. He didn't drive some of them. He had boats, like. And like, we had this huge shop, and it was full of boats, like.
- [61:56]
Da Vorah
And where was he getting the money from? Just like the church members.
- [61:59]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
So the church members ran a construction company, and they were.
- [62:03]
Da Vorah
He was just keeping all the profit, basically.
- [62:05]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
They didn't. They didn't see any money. No, nobody got paid. So on paper, they got paid. And then they gave the money right back to him, and then they tithed all their money back to the church. So. And a church is nonprofit. You don't tax it. So anyways. But. But I mean. And these guys were good at their jobs. Like, they built, you know, they worked everywhere in Oregon, Washington, blah, blah, blah. And they'd get no bid contracts for, like, Fred Meyers, you know what I mean? And they. They made tons of money. This shop that we had on our property had these huge boats in them. And occasionally, you know, if we got to sneak away, you know, nobody's watching because, you know, the property's big. They can't watch, you all the time we play, like, hide and go seek and, you know, I'd hide in these boats and, you know, super expensive boats, but, I mean, just tons of money. So he started. He started kicking people out or finding reasons to, like, get rid of people. But it seemed like he got spooked because he really didn't want anybody around after that point. So, you know, just people were getting kicked out left and right. People were leaving left and right because he started, like, ramping it up. One of the last things I remember happening was he called everybody into church and he said that everybody, you know, he's. He's just screaming at everybody. And he said, you know, everybody's. You're. You're all. You're not worth anything. You're all blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He said everybody has to. Has to get punished. So every single person, except for the lady that we called her grandma, but she was like 9, you know, 80 years old, something like that, maybe younger. And she's the only one that didn't get beat because she probably would have died. But he had everybody come up and beat everybody else. So, like, kids, women, children. So you're just watching everybody get beat. And he would. He was screaming, screaming at you the whole time you're getting beat. And he would. He would say. He would say it because some people tried not to cry. He said, beat him until they cry. And then obviously, you know, the kids were like, done. So, you know, they just started, you know, crying right away. But then he'd have it. Have him beat you longer because he knew you were faking it. And. And that went on for. For a hot minute. And there's this one guy, this one guy, he was getting his ass beat by the pastor, actually. And, you know, to a point to where people were like, okay, let's, you know, that's probably, like, enough.
- [64:27]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [64:27]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And the guy said. The guy turned around and told him to do some more. Like, the dude was this guy. He was a weirdo. Everybody thought he was a weirdo. Even. Even in a weird situation, this guy was a weirdo. Yeah. So that happened. He started kicking everybody out. We left, and it was our turn to leave. And at that point, you're. You're almost kind of hoping to leave. I remember he tried to kick everybody out all at once. And he called this meeting. We had this huge, like, warehouse off offside of the properties, and he called this meeting and he basically told everybody he was kicking them all out. And, you know, we were there till like, two in the morning or Something. And I'm laying on a pallet in the, in the warehouse, on the warehouse floor. And I'm just listening to all the adults, you know, basically plead their case, tell them how sorry they were, you know, you know, they'll do better, you know, all that stuff. And I just remember thinking, man, you know, as bad as the world's supposed to be, the outside world, I was like, I, I can't. You just kind of don't care anymore, you know, I was just like, just roll, baby, you know, rolling. Roll those dice. But anyways, I just remember thinking, you know, what do you. Stop, stop, you know, pleading your case. Basically, I was just, you know. And so anyways, he said, okay, you guys can stay. That lasted couple weeks maybe. And then he just started kicking people out one by one. You know, this family goes, this family goes, this family goes. And so when it was our turn to leave, and, you know, I talk all that about being like, you know, just roll the dice. But when it was our turn to leave, I was actually pretty scared.
- [66:01]
Da Vorah
Well, yeah, because you guys don't know anything else.
- [66:04]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Oh, yeah.
- [66:04]
Da Vorah
You had no money, right?
- [66:06]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Zero. Yeah.
- [66:07]
Da Vorah
So when. So what did you guys do?
- [66:10]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
So what we did is.
- [66:11]
Da Vorah
And it was you, your mom, your dad, and all nine siblings, nine kids.
- [66:14]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah. Yeah.
- [66:16]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [66:16]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
So she called her parents, kicked us out. We had to leave that day. He bought bus tickets. He. And we didn't get our possessions. Well, we kind of did, but buy our possessions, that's close. It's not money. It's closed. My dad didn't get tools. He's a construction worker. He didn't get his tools, nothing like that. So my mom called her mom. Her mom hadn't talked to her in 20 years. So, you know, she's crying, her mom's crying. But then her mom goes, doesn't know how many grandkids she had. She goes, There's 11 of you. She. She goes, well, you can't stay with me, right? And can't fit you.
- [66:52]
Da Vorah
All right?
- [66:53]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
So my dad called his sister, who my Aunt Marcia, who I got. I got a lot of love for her because she had a two or three bedroom trip trailer, okay. And she said, everybody can come live with me. So she had. It was her Alger, my cousin Popeye, my cousin Matthew. So them four and then 11 of us in a three bedroom trailer. So we're like lined up like sardines
- [67:17]
Da Vorah
laying on the floor, easy.
- [67:19]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And he bought us bus tickets to go to Klamath Falls, Oregon. And so we get on this bus and before we left, this guy brought or clothes, like bags and bags of clothes. My dad just threw them away. He's like, I'm not, I can't take all those on a bus. You know what I mean? So. But again, it's nothing helpful. It's not that my mom had a baby. No diapers, no formula, no money, no tool, nothing, you know, nothing helpful. So throws that away, we get up to Climate Falls and then there was, there was some, you know, like black people in the church and. But you, that one of the good things about it is I, I didn't, I legitimately didn't like think anything of like the color of people's skin because we were all just the same. And my, my dad's half black and. But he's really, really light skinned. And so he gets to, he gets to Oregon and this, this black lady comes up and hugs him. And you know, I, I didn't, like, I didn't think obviously I knew like people were like white and black, but I didn't think any, anything beyond that. But I just remember thinking, huh, well like who's you know, black lady hugging my dad? And I didn't think they were related because even though, like, I didn't know my dad was half black until X amount of time because it just, that wasn't important at the time.
- [68:35]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [68:36]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And then he was like, oh, this is my sister Marcia, you know, and so we, we go and live with her and stayed in her place for a couple months. And I mean, this lady's a saint. I hate having like two, two people
- [68:48]
Da Vorah
at my house, right.
- [68:49]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And you know, she just let us live there until my dad asked the people who owned the trailer next door to her if he, you know, if he fixed that up because it was in shambles, if, you know, we could stay there. And then, you know, he started paying rent and how he got a job is he just walked down the street basically until he found people that were doing construction.
- [69:08]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [69:08]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
He told the boss, you know, something like, he said, you know, you know, can I work for you? He goes, you know, let me work today, give me some tools. Let me work today. If you don't like my work, you know, you got free labor. He goes, if you do, you know, hire me on. So, you know, the guy hired him obviously because he's good at his job. And so, you know, we're living in this trailer. I think it was a two bedroom trailer. Yeah, two bedroom trailer. And it didn't have floorboards or anything. So, you know, I Remember, I was, like, using the bathroom, and my brother came in, and he's like, when are you gonna be done? I was like, yeah, it's gonna be a minute. So he just pisses through the floor because there's no, you know, floorboards. But anyways, you know, that was. That was that life for a little bit. And the transition into that was rough because, you know, you don't know anything. I don't know anything about sports. I don't know anything about skateboards. I don't know anything about. If you want to talk about farm. Farms, like, farm life. And if you want to talk about the Bible, I got you. Other than that, good luck. So, you know, I'm just. When I get around other kids, I'm watching everything, but I'm bullshitting anything that you could have asked me, anything. And I just go along with it because I. I didn't know one way or the other, so. And obviously, I didn't tell anybody, you know, where I. Where I came from. So I'd make stuff up. They'd be like, oh, where are you from? And be like, washington. They're like, I'm from Washington. I was like. I was only there for, like, three days. I'm actually from California. You know what I mean? Something like that. So, yeah, that. That transition was. Was pretty. Pretty interesting. But, you know, you just. You just kind of learn on your feet. You're. You know, you're pretty weird at first some. You know, I got bullied for maybe. I mean, it wasn't long. It was like a month, two months, something like that. And I saw. I saw these kids get in a fight, and I remember the kid that won the fight, Everybody was like, you know, just giving him respect. And I was like, oh. I was like, okay.
- [70:58]
Da Vorah
So that's how we earn respect. Yeah.
- [71:00]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah. So. So I remember. This is kind of lame, but I liked you. I was still kind of getting bullied, but this kid, this girl that I had a crush on, he, you know, was like, oh, I'm gonna ask her out, or something like that. And I was like, I need to. Need to stop this. So I. I spread a rumor that he was gay. And again, I got nothing against Cave. You know, I. I was a stupid kid. And so obviously it got back to him. And he comes back, he's like, I heard you said. And he goes. And then. So he started, you know, picking on me. I was like, let's just. Let's just throw down. And so we did that. I won. And everybody was like, given you Know, obviously was giving me that same respect I saw. And you know, that comes with its own thing. Other people want to, you know, fight you and all that. But, but I decided, you know, that then I was like, oh, I'm a stand up for myself. And kind of translated into bullying for a little bit, which, you know, I'm not, I'm not proud of it all. I'm very ashamed of the short stint of bullying that I had. And what, what kind of kicked me out of that was there was. We didn't have nice clothes at all. You know, people would always say stuff about my clothes and I like, yeah, I was like, yeah, they suck. You know, but when guys did it, I, you know, I just kind of like took it. But this girl just said something about it. And I remember thinking, who the are you to like? And the reason, like, so I was like, mean to her. And I, I like processed this because the principal told me one day, he said, said, you know, you're, you're, you're being mean to that, that girl. You need to stop this. And you know, I was young, but still a terrible thing to do. And I, I, I remember thinking like, you know, it's her fault. But then I was thinking, why is it her fault? Because she said this to me. And I was like, yeah, but everybody says that to me, so why do I, why do I hate her for saying that to me? And it's like I was thinking it's because she's a girl. And then I was thinking, why is that such a problem? And I realized it's because in the church, like, Tom hated women. And women were like the, they were, you know, second rate citizens. And so I was like, how dare this person that is supposed to be below me in stature, like, say anything to me negatively? And I was like, well, that's kind of up. I was like, that's not a good reason to not like her. So I quit. I literally just stuck. Stop. I said, you know, I didn't apologize to her, but I stopped. Never said a mean thing to her again. And I purposely tried not to, you know, maybe successfully, maybe unsuccessfully. I tried to not be mean to people.
- [73:49]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [73:49]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Unless I felt like they really deserved it. And that led to, you know, me getting involved in, you know, with people that were also in and, you know, drugs and stuff like that. And I did that until I was, you know, what 12 was my first altercation and then started hanging out. And I got nothing bad to say about my friends at the time because they, you had a Guy on. He was a sweetheart, man. A big old country boy. What was it? Tracy? I want to say. Yeah, and I was listening to that. That guy's a sweetheart. And he. I mean, he basically said the same thing. He got in with the wrong. Wrong crowd. And. But they weren't bad kids. They just also came from bad things. So they're. This is how they're. This is how they're living, anyway. Yeah. So I made friends with these people. They're great people. Some of them are still, you know, my. My very good friends to this day and started getting in a lot of trouble. You know, people are selling drugs, people are doing this, blah, blah. Ended up getting into a street fight one night with. With somebody that was older than me. And they. How it happened is it kind of got set up because this person, you know, called this girl I was with and, you know, was mouthing off to her, and I said, who was that? And, you know, because she's like. And she said what his name was? And it was somebody me and my friends didn't like. So I said. I said, call him back.
- [75:14]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [75:14]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And so, you know, we're talking for. And I said, you stop talking. I said, just meet me somewhere. So we. We do that. And he said, too. He said, I'm gonna kill you. And I was like, you ain't gonna kill me. You ain't gonna. You know, so we get there and we get to it, and, you know, I'm. I'm getting the. I. I had the upper hand, and I, like, look away for. For a second, and I realized I covered in blood. This dude stabbed me a couple times, and I was like, God damn it. And so I'll. I'll skip, you know, the. The majority of that. But, you know, I went back. I. I went back to. To the truck, and, you know, I knocked him down and went back to the truck, and I. I told somebody I was with. I. I said that, you know, I was like. That just stabbed me. And they're like, what? And so they. They go over there and, you know, he. He. They. They, like, confronted him, you know, for like, a second. And then I saw him, like, take off and. And one of the dudes jumps back in the truck, and he goes. And, you know, I'm covered in blood, the seat's covered in blood, and I'm, like, holding my arm against my stomach like that. And the girl I'm with, she's freaking out. And then the other guy, one of the guys that was with me, he goes, son of a Bitch, he stabbed me, too. Looks down his chest. He got stabbed, like, right above his heart. Passes out. So. But anyways, so, you know, go to the hospital, whatever. And, yeah, so went to the hospital, get fixed up. And the next day, you know, I went home the next day, and I felt like. And. But I also, like. I, like, went to get up and you know how like. Like, I twitch in my sleep. And so I, you know, twitched in my sleep. And my bicep tendon tore because I got stabbed in the arm. And so I was like, oh, damn it. So I went back to the hospital because I was like, hey, Mark, you know, my arm. Yeah, ain't working right. And they were like, oh, yeah, you tore your bicep tenant. And they're looking at me. And they were like, you don't look so good. I said, I don't feel so good. And so they said, you might be going septic. And I was. So they kept me in the hospital for, like, two or three weeks and kept me on antibiotics and. Or, you know, intravenous antibiotics. And that whole time I got, you know what a morphine drip is? Yeah, I was getting a morphine drip, and I was hammering that thing like it was a video game. Like, that was amazing. And they gave me thousand. This was 2006 because. Because I turned 17 in the hospital, and the nurses, like, made me. They brought me a cake. And So I was 16, turned 17, 2006. And so, you know, you could still get a lot of pain pills if the situation called for it. But while I was in there and, you know, whether it's because I was like, you know, just high as a kite or whatever it was, you know, I just started thinking. I was like, this is. I was like, this is stupid. Like, you know, I'm. I'm sitting in a hospital. I think it's mostly because I was bored, too. Like, I couldn't get out of the hospital bed. So I was like, this is like, I. I don't like this. I was like, why do I do the things I do? You know, where am I going? You know, that type of stuff. Am I going to be doing this, like, when I'm older? And, you know, I had those thoughts. That was, like, the initial, like, spark to, you know, do something different. But obviously I didn't change that day.
- [78:34]
Da Vorah
But can't change overnight.
- [78:36]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
No. And, yeah, and I didn't. And so what I did start doing, though, was I loved drugs at the time, and I know I'm not condoning them at all, but at the time. I love the effect of them. I loved getting high. I hated the downside of them. But it was wonderful. And I, I mean I had so many pain pills. I, you know.
- [78:59]
Da Vorah
And were you still living in the trailer with your whole family?
- [79:01]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
No, no, I did. Sorry I skipped a part just because I thought, you know, this. Yeah. Kind of irrelevant, but I guess it is relevant. But no, my parents got divorced soon after we were in the trailer. We bought a house my maybe like a year later because, you know, my dad was working and all that. And then my parents got divorced and then 16. Where was I, what was I doing? Where was I living? So I would bounce between like my dad's and mom's house.
- [79:27]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [79:28]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And my friend's house, my best friend at the time, Skyler, I live with him. And they were like Native American, this Native American family. And that's. I basically lived with them from, you know, 16, 18, maybe even 15. But if I was at my parents house a couple nights a week, like at my dad's house. When you lived in my dad's house, there was hardly any food. My stepmom was crazy, like crazy. And there was, there was only so many beds. So me and my two brothers were there. And then sometimes my cousins would come up from California and live with us. So the first people to get to the house, if there was food, they got to eat it and they picked the bed.
- [80:08]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [80:08]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
So if you got to the house late, you might as well not even be there because you're gonna sleep on the floor. And I'm terrified of spiders. Like terrified of spiders. And there were spiders all over the house.
- [80:19]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [80:19]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
So I'm not sleeping on the floor. So you know, I'd stay at my friend Skyler's house all the time.
- [80:24]
Da Vorah
And I'm assuming your family never talked to. His name is Tom.
- [80:28]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Oh yeah, yeah. So after they left, probably like a year after they left, he called him, he called him back and asked him if they wanted to, to come back. He said, you know, do you want to come back and be a family again? And I remember just thinking, hell no. Like absolutely not. Fortunately my mom, you know, my mom said no. And you know, then he immediately, he started screaming at her as soon as she said, cuz I could hear it on the phone, started screaming at her and was like, yeah. And I was like, good thing you said no. And so. And then he died so soon after that.
- [81:00]
Da Vorah
Tom.
- [81:00]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Tom. Yeah.
- [81:01]
Da Vorah
And what happened to his church?
- [81:02]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Just that. So that had completely dissolved.
- [81:06]
Da Vorah
He soon after you guys soon after
- [81:08]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
we left, everybody left. That was like the year 2000.
- [81:10]
Da Vorah
And do you know what he did after?
- [81:13]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Oh, he had so much money. So he had all of our money.
- [81:15]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [81:16]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
You know, the millions that was amassed. He had all the money, you know, lived wherever he lived. He had his wife with him. I think one guy stayed. One. One or two guys stayed in it. The guy that stayed was the weird guy that told him to beat him some more.
- [81:30]
Da Vorah
Right.
- [81:31]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And because you needed to have, I think three or more people for something to count as a church. Okay. Like legally.
- [81:37]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [81:38]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Or for tax reasons, whatever it was. And so they were doing that. And then he tried, he called and tried to get everybody back, and everybody except for that one dude told him no.
- [81:50]
Da Vorah
And did any of his chances children end up speaking out about anything?
- [81:54]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
One of his grandkids got in touch with me after I made the podcast.
- [81:58]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [81:59]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And was talking to me. And. Yeah, I mean, I. Multiple people have. I. I'll stick on that for a second. But, you know, she basically talked to me, told me, you know, the daughter that he had done stuff to, you know, is completely out of the picture. She apologized on his behalf for everything. And I was like, you know, you weren't there. Thank you. You know.
- [82:18]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Eczema is unpredictable, but you can flare
- [82:21]
Da Vorah
less with ebglis, a once monthly treatment
- [82:24]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
for moderate to severe eczema after an
- [82:27]
Da Vorah
initial four month or longer dosing phase. About 4 in 10 people taking EBGLIS achieved itch relief and clear or almost clear skin at 16 weeks. And most of those people maintain skin that's still more clear at one year with monthly dosing.
- [82:37]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
MGLIS Lebricizumab LBKZ a 250mg per 2ml injection, is a prescription medicine to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema, also called atopic dermatitis, that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical therapies. EBGLISS can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you're allergic to ebglis. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with ebglis. Before starting Ebglis, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection.
- [83:11]
Da Vorah
Ask your doctor about ebgliss and visit ebgliss.lilly.com or call 1-800-lilyrx or 1-800-545-5979.
- [83:18]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
If we knew more about our sleep, what would we do differently? Would we go to bed at a consistent time or take steps to reduce interruptions to our sleep? With sleepscore, Apple Watch measures your bedtime consistency, interruptions and sleep duration. Then every morning it combines these factors into an easy to understand score from 1 to 100. So you'll know how to take the quality of your sleep from okay to very high. Know your sleep score with Apple Watch, iPhone 11 or later required.
- [83:48]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
You know, you weren't there. Don't feel, you know, that's, that's, this person wasn't exactly yet, you know, and we had a good conversation and that was, that was cool. And then I talked to another couple people that the guys watch. Wife, Tom's wife, the pastor's wife. After he died, she, you know, kept all the money and she went to somewhere on the coast, I want to say Oregon coast, and tried to basically start her own group unsuccessfully. And these people were telling me about her and how just what a terrible person she was in, in their community and stuff like that. And I had a chance because I interviewed a bunch of people to make the podcast. I had a chance to reach out to her, but I was like, you know, I, I kept it pretty professional with everybody that I was talking to, you know, whether or not I remembered the things that they did. But I was like, I don't think I can keep cool with her, you know, So I was like, I'm not even gonna, I'm not even gonna try. And, but as far as like people reaching out, that's, you know, the, the people that have, have reached out for that, you know, and I was still running and gunning on the side, but, you know, I was, I was working with my stepdad and he's an amazing guy. He's, he's one of the, the people that really, really helped me at that age. And his name is Tom Neely. You know, I love the guy to death and no matter how bad I was and I was not a good kid, like, I'm not trying to pretend that I was. He, he saw what little good, you know, I did display and hung onto that. My tr.
- [85:20]
Da Vorah
Tried to, you know, bring the rest out.
- [85:22]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah, exactly. So I got a lot, I got a lot of love for that guy. You know, my friends did the same thing, fortunately, which is crazy for like teenagers to do, but I, I, people around Me that were, you know, trying to build me up and get me into trouble, but also try to bring me up. Yeah. And, and none of them knew anything about this. I didn't tell him. None of them knew about this. In fact, one of my friends who I've had for like 20 something years, listen to my podcast like six months ago, and he was like, he's like, dude, you never told me about this. And I was like, yeah, but so I was working with him for a while, living with my friend, living with my mom, living with my dad, bouncing between everywhere. And then one other thing that really made me want to like stop doing drugs because I'm not kidding you, I love, like, if there's no negative effect to drugs, I'd still do them. And again, I'm not saying, not saying people should do drugs, I'm just saying my experience and I. One of my friends, he was a native American dude and he would not drink, would not touch pills, would not do anything like that because his mom died from alcoholism. And he, I mean he was, he was cool. Like we used to box all the time. We played basketball. I was with this kid. I, you know, I had a pretty tight group of friends. We were with each other every single day. And we all stayed at my friend Skyler's house. That's what I mean. We partied together, we play sports together, we went to school together, you know, we every, everything, we played video games together. And you know, I love this guy. And when he was 18, we talked him into having a beer. And I'm not kidding you, he completely changed after that. Like, I think he's homeless now. Now or, or he was homeless and now he's locked up and I guess he just spins like, you know, I talked to somebody that was locked up with him recently and they just said he just, he has his own like basically section of the jail. Cuz he just screams day and night and, and he, you know, he's try to fight anybody that comes in sight. He's just completely gone. And. But I mean, that happened real fast, that happened quick, like overnight. And so I just remember thinking, man, I, I can't let that be me. You know, I'm. I'm kind of rolling the dice every time I do something, especially because I love these things and I don't feel addicted to them and I can go like, you know, two weeks, three weeks without them, but when I get them, I'm gonna take them. And so that also helped me like kick, kick it, you know, everything I was like, after this, I'm not doing that. So, you know, seeing my friend go through that changed my mind on, like, you know, staying the course on, like, on doing drugs and alcohol and stuff like that. And so I. I was pretty good for a while. You know, I was 18. I ended up moving. I left there. That was one of the reasons I left there. I was like, if I stay here, I'm just going to keep getting in trouble, keep doing dumb. So I moved about four hours away to a town called Corvallis. And I was there for a couple years. My brother got me a job at. At working with kids that were incarcerated or, you know, like, locked up. And they were. They had usually, like, a mental illness. You know, it wasn't juvie, but it was like a secure residential treatment facility for adolescents. So I was working with them for a couple years, and, you know, I was like, this was. This was awesome because, like, you can be in a job where you, you know, do whatever, you crunch numbers or whatever, but when you're in a job where you, like, you feel like you're helping people, that's. That's very rewarding. You know, it's. It's very difficult because most of those people are very challenging individuals. But, I mean, I was a challenging individual, so I was like, you know, I really, really tried to work hard there and really connect, you know, with the kids, especially, because, I mean, I was 18. A lot of them are 16, 17. Some of them are 18. One of them told me they were like, we're the same age. I'm not going to listen to you. And I was like, you got a point, right? And so I really enjoyed that for about two years. And I was doing all right. You know, it was a college town. It's osu, so, you know, still partying a lot, but I was not doing any drugs besides alcohol. And for some reason I thought I was. I was cured because of that. And then all within, like, the span of a couple. Couple months, my best friend Skyler died from cancer. So I went, you know, up to the hospital. You know, we got to be there with him. But he was young. He was, like, 20. And. Yeah, so, you know, watched him. Watched him pass away, and that was. That was pretty terrible. And his birthday was on Halloween, so we used to throw these fat parties on. On Halloween, and I'll get. I'll get to that in a second. And while I was working at that place, this girl came through with a last name that I. I recognized. And it was some people that were in the church, in the group I was in, they adopted this girl. And so, you know, obviously they still put her through similar things that, you know, I went through. So she wasn't doing so hot. And she ended up getting, you know, incarcerated at this place. And she came through and I was like, I know that name. And then, you know, you get to see their parents name. I was like, yep, that's, that's, you know, her parents. I know these people. And then I won't get into that too much. I wasn't allowed to work with her because I told it, I told the people immediately. I said, you know, I know who this is. So. Because she was going to come to my program and I worked in Max at the Max for Kids. But those kids get active, let me tell you. And so they, they sent her next door. So I'm seeing this kid every day, just remembering, you know, the, you know, so I'm thinking about stuff, you know, all the time. My friend just died and so I'm like, I started drinking a little bit more. And again, you don't think you really got a problem with it at the time, but I'm trying to go out on like a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday night, nobody wants to go to the bar.
- [91:22]
Da Vorah
And I was like.
- [91:22]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And I had a fake ID at the time too, so. And nobody wanted to go out. Nobody wanted to. You know, nobody's having house parties during the week. And so I just go out by myself and I ended up getting, getting in trouble, getting a dui, getting arrested, but because I, I evaded pursuit and then, you know, took off on foot. And then they, they got me, they found me out in a field because I, anyway, I, I'm gonna leave that part out. But anyway, so I go to jail, you know, and they're, they're talking to me and, and it was around Halloween. So that's why I was like, really? Yeah, because, you know, my friend just passed away, it was around his birthday and we always like threw a party on his birthday. So I was like, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. This is a good way to, you know, celebrate that. Yeah. And so, yeah, the, you know, the cop asked me, he's like, you know, you got a fake id, you know, what, what do you doing? You know, basically, and I don't know why, cuz I, you know, at the time I didn't like cops. So I, you know, but. So normally I was just not gonna say anything. But then I, you know, I said, well, my, my, you know, my friend Just died. So, you know, I'm drinking. It's, I, I, I don't even think I said he died. No, I had to have. But I said, you know, it was his birthday, so, you know, I'm drinking for that. And he goes, what would your friend think of that? And I was like, you, cuz. Just waterfall. And I was like, you know, they, they were giving me a rough time out in the field, and I was like, man, I'd rather you guys are just whooping my ass out in the field. I was like, why'd you have to say that? And, yeah, I really got to think that. And, you know, that's another time that clicked. And I was like, yeah, what the, you know, what am I doing? Like, you know, I gave up drugs, but I'm still drinking, you know, changing my, my, changing my life. But I'm not, you know, I'm still doing this. And so, so, yeah, I was like, you know, I'm gonna do something different. And then when you get a dui, they, they give you, like, a chance, if it's your first one, they give you a chance to do a diversion, and that basically will take it off your record. And you also have to be on, like, probation, basically. So they were hooking me up with, like, probation officers, and you have to go to like, AA classes for like a year or something like that. And they were hooking me up with, you know, probation people, people in the area. And I was like, actually, I don't want to stay in the area. You know, I was like, let me, let me move. So I wanted to move to Bend, Oregon. I don't know if you've heard of it, but it's like a very outdoorsy place. And I didn't know anybody, so I was like, I can't get in trouble. Yeah, because I thought, you know, every time I got in trouble, I was like, if I move, I'll be good. If I move, I'll be good. I didn't realize I was just bringing it with me because, you know, because I, I'm not working on myself. And so I went out there. That was actually cool because I spent so much time, like, outdoors, like, doing whatever, and, you know, I was going to these diversion classes, you know, where they tell you the harm and drugs. And I didn't say a single word during those diversion classes on purpose because I thought it was stupid. And I, you know, I passed, you know, obviously, because I attended. I attended and I paid what I was supposed to pay. And, you know, I just remember Stupid things from there. Like, one thing made me laugh was they. They had us. There was a list of, like, nine things, and they were like, how many can you remember? Like, they show you the list, and then you have to write down as many as you can remember. And then they said they did this with a person that had been drinking alcohol and a person that was on, like, cocaine and a person that was smoking weed. The only person that wrote down nine things was the person smoking weed, he said. And none of them were the things that were on the list. So I thought that was hilarious.
- [95:00]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [95:00]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
But anyway, so I went through that, and I went to one AA class, and, man, that was, in my opinion, that that was better for me than that whole diversion class because I just listened to. And, you know, they started out, they say, you know, my name's so and so, and I'm. I'm an alcoholic. And they got around to me, and I just said, my name's Zach. I didn't say I'm an alcoholic. I was like. Because I'm not like you people. And I'm listening to these people be like, I lost my house. I lost my job. My family doesn't talk to me, and all this stuff. And that worked because I remember thinking, you know, I don't. I don't want any of that to be my life. So, you know, I just kind of stopped doing. You know, really cut down on drinking and stuff, and. But I didn't go back to another AA class, even though I was supposed to. So what I did is you get the guy's number, and he's supposed to sign his name. You get a sheet that. With a number, and they sign number signs to show you went every time. So what I did is he put his number down and he signed, and I just put the number and signed every time after that, turned it in, and they. They took it. So I was like, okay, but which, you know, I'm still rolling the dice with that. I could have got in trouble. And, you know, they could have, you know, revoked my whole thing, but then went from there, got into Brazilian Jiu Jitsu at the time. And that's been. That was amazing. I love that.
- [96:22]
Da Vorah
Good outlet.
- [96:23]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Oh, yeah, Amazing. Like. And I don't think everybody has to do jiu jitsu. You know, if you asked me that 10, 15 years ago, I would say everybody has to do it. It's the greatest thing ever. But I think everybody should at least
- [96:35]
Da Vorah
have something, like, have their own thing. Yeah, exactly.
- [96:37]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah. And so, I mean, that was amazing. You know, just for, like, being able to focus, being able to spend two hours, you know, an hour just not thinking of anything else but the person you're like, you know, going against. And, you know, really, really enjoyed it. And especially coming from, like, you know, teenage years where altercations were a huge part of, you know, growing up, it just kind of taught you, like, you know, you don't need to do all that. You know, you don't need to do all that stuff. There's people, People out there that can. That can beat your ass. And, you know, I. Yeah, I really enjoy. I still do it to this day, you know, I really enjoy it. And then I started working in mental health at. At the state psychiatric hospital in Oregon. And I mean, I could do a whole nother, you know, thing about that and, you know, the good and the bad of that.
- [97:32]
Da Vorah
Are you still doing that now?
- [97:33]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah. Yeah.
- [97:34]
Da Vorah
It's amazing.
- [97:35]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah.
- [97:36]
Da Vorah
So what is your role there?
- [97:38]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
I mean, I've. I've done lots of stuff, so my official role is like a rec specialist. Okay, so you, like, run activities. But I mean, I've worked on the floor. You know, you're. You're basically security, you're basically a babysitter.
- [97:52]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [97:53]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
You, you know, observe and report all that stuff. But, you know, you build relationships, you run activities, you work with them on treatment, you know, all these things. But the majority of what I've done there since I got hired is I get pulled onto these things called special assignments. And that's where you go. They take certain people. They'd be like, you know, you work really well and you work really well. So you guys are going to go work with this high profile or challenging patient, and you are the only people that work with that patient. And, you know, I can't say too much because, like, HIPAA violations, but, you know, one guy killed a lot of people. Could be a serial killer. You know, that's. That hasn't been up, you know, that hasn't been solidified yet. But worked with him for a long time, years. And then another guy got pulled off to work with him for years. And, you know, he was the, you know, the system, the prison system screwed him up again. I can't say too much, but they pretty much left him in solitary confinement. A person with mental illness until his, you know, brain broke. And I mean, this guy would what, from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to sleep, is screaming and in multiple voices, you know, and banging his head in the wall. And, you know, it's so bad he would, you know, because you watch him around the clock. So bad he would wake up, when he woke up to go pee, he'd start screaming at himself. Like just constant, you know, mental torment. And you know, in mental health there's people that, that really need help and there's people that abuse the system.
- [99:29]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [99:30]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And like I said, I'll try not to get into that too much. But I'm like thinking because it's, it's a big, it's a big part of it. Yeah, like mental health. But like if I get in, I'm telling you it'll be another hour and I don't think we have that time. So, so the majority of the time that, that I've worked there, I've been on those like one to ones, basically you would call them with those people. And there's been multiple other people I've, I've, you know, done that with. But yeah, so that's what I do there now. And you know, the system is the, the system, the mental health system. It gets a lot of flack. You know, I always see, you know, especially because Portland, Portland has like this huge like homeless epidemic. And there's this guy, Kevin Dahlgren, I want to say he, like he goes around and he films, you know, homeless people. So if you ever want to know about Portland, homeless people watch this stuff and that'll give you a really good idea. And you know, people always say like, you know, where's the, where's the help from, you know, mental health and you know, what a mental health workers doing? And for the most part they're correct because there needs to be a lot more health. There's a lot of money that goes into it. So that money needs to be, you know, spent, you know, correctly. But there are also a lot of resources. But they're just bogged down. Like we're so backed up with like people that, you know, with like lists of people that we need to get in and help out. And there's, you know, there's only so much you can do. Like the people that work there, you know, the good ones, you ask a of lot, lot of them, you, they, you know, they get up. If they work with you, they get you up, they, you know, make sure you're fed, they make sure you do your treatment, make sure you take your meds. They're playing games with you the whole time. They're building a relationship with you. You know, they're doing all these things and then you might assault one of them very badly. And that happens all the time. And then they're expected to tackle you, put you in restraints, give you forced medication, which is usually an injection, then take you out of restraints, continue to work therapeutically with you, and then go take you to dinner, you know what I mean? All in a day. And you know, that's, and, and then, you know, other times and there's people that, that are helped and can be helped and you know that this system definitely works for them sometimes. And then there's some people that are just extremely challenging to work with and you just don't know what to do. Do meds don't work for them. They're. Whether they're, you know, always trying to, you know, commit suicide. And I've seen the most creative ways to do that. You, you can even think of, you think like somebody killed themselves in hospital or in a prison. How could you let that happen? And it's like, you know, if you even look away for a second, they're doing, you know. Yeah, sometimes it seems pretty. Pretty. It's very difficult to, to stop or to deal with these kinds of people. And then if you do use the restrictive measures that you need to, to keep them from hurting themselves or others, then that's inhumane. And which I do agree with. But I mean, at some, at a certain point, what else can you do?
- [102:37]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [102:39]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And, and then you can't do these inhumane predators practices. And so you're just stuck in a cycle, you know, and, and it's terrible for them, it's terrible for the staff. You know, it's, it's not a good situation all around. And, but there are people that can be helped. And a lot of people that have mental health issues are very decent people. You know, I work with a bunch of people that are, that are criminals. You, you have to have some kind of crime to come where. And a mental illness to be where I'm at, you know, the bar for being, it's called civilly committed. That means you're so crazy you need to be put into a, a place for, to assist you. The bar for that is incredibly high. And that's another reason that, you know, we don't have you see people doing these terrible things and then getting assaulted or, you know, arrested is because maybe they went and tried to get help a hundred times before that, but they can't get the help they need because they haven't done anything bad enough to get help, but they're looking for help. And so, you know, I, I really try to help those people and I mean, a lot of them have shitty lives. That's why they're, you know, that's why they do the things they do.
- [103:43]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [103:44]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And I know what it's like to have. To have less than desirable life, and I know what it's like to not, you know, hear anything nice for years. And, you know, a lot of these people, they either come from prison or off the streets or something, and I guarantee they're not hearing, you know, nice things. So, you know, Know, I try to. Try to, you know, do that for him at least. Yeah. So that's. That's my work. That's what I'm currently doing. And then, you know, I have a. I have a daughter, and she's absolutely amazing.
- [104:10]
Da Vorah
How old is she?
- [104:11]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
She's four and a half. Yeah. And she acts like she's 30.
- [104:15]
Da Vorah
Uhhuh. I'm sure that's how it is. Good luck.
- [104:17]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah.
- [104:17]
Da Vorah
And then what about your family? Do you have a relationship with all of your siblings?
- [104:22]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah. So two of them, or one just got out of prison, another one in prison. The rest of them were doing very well.
- [104:28]
Da Vorah
And then your mom and dad.
- [104:30]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah. Yeah, I. I mean, I keep in contact. Yeah. I mean, I. I wouldn't say we're close just because, you know, my other brothers and sisters, this is just for me personally. They're close with my. Closer with my parents. I have a much more difficult time, you know, being close. But I am very friendly with them. I call them, you know, they call me. You know, my mom watches my kid.
- [104:50]
Da Vorah
Have you guys had had that, like, open conversation about your childhood and how you were raised and everything?
- [104:56]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Absolutely not. I won't.
- [104:58]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [104:59]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
No, and that's just because that literally sounds so uncomfortable for me that I would literally. I'd rather do anything else.
- [105:08]
Da Vorah
Okay, so you have. Not with either your mom or dad. It just. You. You have not brought it up.
- [105:12]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
No. Well, I had to interview them to do. But again, I kept it, like, very professional. Professional. I might as well be a journalist talking to them.
- [105:21]
Da Vorah
Okay.
- [105:22]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
I kept my. Everything out of it. I never.
- [105:24]
Da Vorah
And they were fine with doing the interview. Okay.
- [105:27]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah, they were fine with it. Obviously they didn't want their names.
- [105:30]
Da Vorah
Yeah. Have they ever. And it's hard because it's like, I was gonna say, like, have they apologized for anything? Yeah, yeah. So I was gonna say it's hard because, like, when you look back at it, they were just kids. Kids that were lost too, you know, and didn't have the best upbringing. So it's like, at the end of the day. Even when you're a parent, it's like you are looked at and people want you to do your best. But you started at, you know, a different place too at one point. So it's like we're all, at the end of the day, we're all just human. It's like, you know, but what about your siblings? Have you talked to them about it or. Same kind of thing, Just like in an interview type of.
- [106:11]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah, just an interview type type of way. I mean we, we laugh about stuff
- [106:15]
Da Vorah
sometimes just because it's crazy.
- [106:17]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah, it's crazy. But I mean I, I would almost kind of do stand up comedy in, in that group and my, my older brothers would come like, you know, listen to me, like talk, just make fun of the people and like the things they did, the things they said. Yeah, and you know, we, we like laugh about that at times. Oh, and then going to church after. So I'm, I don't really mess with like church or Christianity anymore. I, you know, and I, I hadn't gone to church for 10 some years and then this girl I was seeing wanted me to go to church with her and I was like, I don't think you understand. I don't want to go to church. And so. But you know, eventually, you know, she got me to go and you know, I went and I, I remember hearing the guy talk and I was like, this guy's teaching some like, because he's saying like, Jesus, you know, they forgive you for this and that. And I was like, no, he doesn't. I was like, you know, you, if you mess up, you mess up, you know, stuff like that. And I, you know, here I am, you know, 10 years later and I think what I was being taught as a kid was the right thing and that this guy, what he's teaching is wrong. But I, yeah, I, I didn't want anything to do with church. But yeah, I was going specifically just, just for her. And so I stayed going and then I made friends pretty. I've always been able, thankfully to make
- [107:39]
Da Vorah
really good friends with Plan B emergency contraception. We're in control of our future. It's backup birth control. You take after unprotected sex. That helps prevent pregnancy before it starts. It works by temporarily delaying ovulation and it won't impact your future fertility. Plan B is available in all 50 US states at all major retailers near you with no ID, prescription or age requirement needed. Together we've got this. Follow Plan B on insta at Plan B. One step to learn More use as directed.
- [108:11]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month.
- [108:22]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Month.
- [108:22]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Of course, if you enjoy overpaying. No judgments.
- [108:25]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
But that's weird.
- [108:26]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Okay, one judgment anyway. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment
- [108:33]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent
- [108:35]
Da Vorah
to 15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms@mintmobile.com so I made some
- [108:42]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
friends there and then I started doing youth, like a youth group with him as like a youth leader. And I mean they, they assumed that because I was going to church that I was Christian. And I mean I had just stepped back into church after like a 10 year hiatus. And you know, I, I will say I was pretending to be Christian, you know, to date this girl. And I, you know, I, I kind of thought the same thing. My parents, like, because when I talked to my, my dad back in the day or you know, when I was interviewing, he, he was like, you know, the reason, reason he stayed, he was like, is because he was living a better life. The people around him were good people. He felt, you know, like he had a community and he was a Christian and everybody else was Christian, so why not?
- [109:26]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [109:26]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And you know, the church I was going to, the people were at, they were great. They were great, great people. And I was like, man, I was like, this is, this is probably how it's supposed to be. And so, you know, I had no mind, I had no problem staying. I would say I even like identified as a Christian for, you know, a couple years. And the majority of Y state is my friends. Even though I, I broke up with that girl or we broke up, was the kids I was working with too. Like, I've always liked working and they were teenagers in high school. I've always liked working with people. Yeah. And I mean, you know, I still talk to them to this day. That was, you know, 10 years ago and one, one just told me he got a job as a, a police officer. The other one just got a job as a firefighter.
- [110:04]
Da Vorah
So, you know, doing good, it's amazing.
- [110:06]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
But, but yeah. And then at a certain point, you know, especially after they graduated, I kind of stopped. I checked out. You know, I was still going and I was still helping a lot. I helped with some kids that come from Spain, like an English immersion program. They would come from Spain, spend Like, it was called Summer in the usa. They would spend a month of the summer in the US Learning English and, you know, hanging, you know, living with host families and stuff like that. And I would. I would work with that organization and, you know, hang out with the kids, take them to this camp. This. We took him to this camp. That Wild country documentary about the Rajneesh cult. They own this compound, eastern Oregon, right by where I used to live. And this company called Young Life bought that property and they turned it into this, like, summer camp for. For kids. So we'd go out there and this. Is that. That old compound. But, I mean, it was like a total playground at that point.
- [111:01]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [111:01]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
And. Yeah, so I did that, but then I was just like, you know, inside. Oh, yeah. This is one of the things that happened is the kids I worked with in Spain, we take them to this Young Life camp, and it's a Christian camp, and you have something called a cabin time. So you go and you sit down and you listen to this. This, you know, church service, basically. And this is in between, you know, climb, you know, going on a zip line and racing go karts and, you know, all this. All this fun stuff. Then you go and do that, and then you have this cabin time. And the majority of those kids were atheists. Were Catholic. Catholic or atheists. But, you know, they're teenagers there, and so, you know, they're asking questions about, like, you know, this or that, and you somewhat. If you're going to do that, and I did that. That program with them for probably three or four years, you have to be. You got to answer those questions. So, you know, I started thinking, why? Why? You know, when they asked me, why do you believe this? Why do you think this happened? Why does this happen? Why? You know, then I have to give them answers, and I. I just felt like a lot of the answers, I. And I did a lot of, like, research and, like, listening to people and. And, you know, I was looking at the. The answers, you know, biblical scholars would give for these. And then I try to, you know, convey that to the. And I. I just thought. I was like, man, this is not stuff that I believe. I was like, these answers kind of sound like a bunch of bs and, you know, that's my personal thing. I think there's a lot of good in Christianity. I think there's some bad in it, too.
- [112:32]
Da Vorah
Yeah, absolutely. In anything, honestly.
- [112:34]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah, right. Yeah. And I'm. I just, personally, I just decided. I was like, man, yeah, I was like, I don't believe this. And I don't. I don't know why I'm trying to get these kids to believe in it. It's because I'm working or not. And I wasn't even working. I was volunteering. I was like.
- [112:51]
Da Vorah
You know, I think, too, it seems like your purpose is more so to help these kids rather than help them and teach them a religion. And I think that that's kind of hard to do when you don't have a great. Great foundation or understanding of that either.
- [113:10]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Right.
- [113:10]
Da Vorah
You know, like, I feel like you can help people more based on the experiences you went through versus, like, the religious aspect, you know?
- [113:19]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah. Yeah. And that's very true. And that's. That's basically what I did.
- [113:23]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [113:24]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Is. It was exactly that. I kind of left the religious aspect out of it, but it just put a bad taste in my mouth.
- [113:29]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [113:30]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Like, I was trying to convert people, and I didn't like that at all.
- [113:33]
Da Vorah
And I think, too, when it comes to religion and spirituality or anything for that matter, no one should be trying to convert or convince anybody. It should just be whatever you lean into is okay. And there's a lot of times you'll lean into one thing and then another thing, and then, you know, it's just like, do your thing, you know, like, there doesn't have to be these, like, clans or these groups or, like, just be a good person. It's my mindset on it. Before I forget, I wanted to ask you, too, as far as, like, your healing from everything that you went through as a child, do you feel like you have addressed that within yourself? Like, have you done any type of, I guess, self work or therapy or anything that you feel like has helped you kind of face those things? Because you did it. You experienced a lot of trauma and abuse. And, you know, even just the isolation aspect of things is, like, that takes a toll on the brain, Right?
- [114:24]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Correct. Yes and no. A lot of the work I've done, I guess, is just kind of talking myself through things or, like, seeing making mistakes and learning from it, which I'm fortunate to do because I know not everybody does that.
- [114:39]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [114:41]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
I went to therapy one time, and the therapist, she was awesome. She was great. I just didn't feel like I was gonna make any progress.
- [114:49]
Da Vorah
And everybody has different methods, too. Yeah.
- [114:52]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah.
- [114:53]
Da Vorah
Like, your method might be, like, you might find that healing from helping people that have gone through similar traumas.
- [114:59]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah. Which. Which I think is probably exactly what I'm doing, you know, like, trying to help other people. And you're so self Aware.
- [115:06]
Da Vorah
Yeah, I was gonna say, like, I feel like, I feel like if you're a self aware person and you can, you know, you're emotionally intelligent, you know, what you're feeling, you know, how things affect you. I feel like as long as you're aware of that and you're easy on yourself, but you're still not just like completely brushing it under the rug.
- [115:22]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah.
- [115:22]
Da Vorah
It's like a constant work in progress. You know, there's no one fix for anything. You can go to therapy every single day and still stay in the same place. You know what I mean? It's not. There is no solution for like one solution for anything. I think it's just a constant, you know, hold yourself accountable for things that you feel and, you know, figure out the best way to deal with it.
- [115:46]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah.
- [115:46]
Da Vorah
You know.
- [115:47]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah. And that's, I mean, that's. Yeah, pretty much what I do. Again, I'm not bashing therapy at all. Yeah, I think that definitely works for, for people. I mean, it could have worked better for me. I didn't necessarily feel like I had a problem. I do have a problem, like, like you said with the, with the going so go in. In my childhood, going so much time without talking to people. I still just, I. I feel like I'm an extrovert to, you know, the majority of the time. But there's like times where I just, I don't want to talk to anybody. And it's not necessarily because I'm in a bad mood. It's just because I feel like I need to actually, like, disengage. And, you know, therapy might help with that. I don't see it as a huge problem. Obviously the relationships I've had see it as a problem, which is why I went to therapy.
- [116:34]
Da Vorah
That's something too, that I think, think it's, it's something you need to do in your own time. You can't do it for somebody else.
- [116:38]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Right.
- [116:39]
Da Vorah
You know, I think you have to be in a place where, if it's, if it gets to a point where you're like, you know, this is affecting me or this is affecting someone that I care about, then that's something you step into again, maybe, you know, and once again, that's not to say that's the only option or solution. There's other outlets as well, and things that you can dive into and figure out, but there's. They're not, you know, healing isn't linear and figuring out what works for you isn't either. And I think that, that just sometimes Takes time. You know, you have to be at that place to want to do that as well.
- [117:13]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah. And what you said is 1000% true. Like you have to do it for you, not for somebody else. And I mean, that's why I stopped getting in trouble, that's why I stopped doing drugs is because I saw like, nobody asked me to.
- [117:25]
Da Vorah
Yeah.
- [117:25]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
But I wanted to because I saw where it was going. And I think, you know, not. I think I know if you're in any kind of like addiction, like somebody like trying to. To help you, not that you shouldn't help people, but. Or somebody trying to force you to quit is not going to work. You have to want to quit. So. Yeah, you're. You're correct.
- [117:43]
Da Vorah
Right. And that goes for anything relationships like you people can try to tell you, they can educate you and give you advice all you want, but it's not going to be until you want to make that change, that anything is going to change.
- [117:55]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah.
- [117:55]
Da Vorah
But I think it's incredible. I always love to hear when people give back and help in a way that took away from them as a child. I think that that's one of the best things you can do because no one gets it as much as somebody that's been through it. So I feel like the fact that you have those different experiences and you can relate to these troubled children, you know, and kind of be there as that support that at a time you didn't have is really powerful. And I feel like it is something that will always make you feel so fulfilled.
- [118:27]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Right. Yeah.
- [118:28]
Da Vorah
Which is important.
- [118:29]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Yeah. And. And it does. It definitely does. Yeah. If you, like I said, if you work in a job or you're, you know, crunching numbers or whatever, you don't feel the same fulfillment as when you're helping people. So.
- [118:41]
Da Vorah
Absolutely. Well, you did incredible.
- [118:44]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Thank you.
- [118:44]
Da Vorah
Of course. Was there any. You want to check your notes? Was there anything else you wanted to include? Do you think you got it all?
- [118:49]
Zach Comfort Zacchaeus
Let me see. I think. Think I'm pretty sure. I mean, I got it all. Yeah. I mean, I got it all.
- [118:55]
Da Vorah
Amazing. You really did a great job. Seriously.
- [118:58]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
This episode is brought to you by Athletic Brewing Company. No matter how you do game day, on the couch, in the crowd, or manning the snack table, Athletic Brewing fits right in with a full lineup of non alcoholic beer styles. You can enjoy bold flavors all game long. No hangovers, no buzz, no subbing out for water. In the second half, stock the fridge for tip off with a variety of non alcoholic craft styles available at your local grocery store or online at athleticbrewing.com near Beer Fit for all times.