"We're All Insane" | Episode: My Boyfriend Trafficked Me
Host: Devorah Roloff
Guest: Emily
Date: March 30, 2026
Episode Overview
In this emotionally raw episode, host Devorah Roloff sits with Emily, who shares her harrowing, first-person account of being trafficked by a boyfriend she once trusted. With no interruptions and in her own words, Emily guides listeners through the complex interplay of childhood trauma, vulnerability, manipulation, and survival, ultimately showing how easy it is for someone to fall into—and fight to escape—a world of trafficking and abuse.
Major Discussion Points & Insights
1. Childhood Trauma and Vulnerability
- Emily’s early life (01:09): Grew up in Washington state. Her parents divorced after her mother left Emily's abusive, alcoholic father.
- Emily grew up in Texas, lacking positive male role models, which left her anxious, deeply attached to her mom, and struggling with self-esteem.
- First learned about coping mechanisms in therapy around age 10–12:
“Smiling was my coping mechanism. And I found that out the first time I went to a therapist.” (01:31 – Emily)
2. Introduction to the Club World
- After graduating high school early due to crippling anxiety, Emily entered esthetician school, but soon became attracted to the strip club scene, influenced by social media glamorization.
“There were girls on [TikTok] glorifying the strip club industry… I was desperate for fatherly attention.” (03:41 – Emily)
- Emily’s initial experiences dancing felt empowering at first, but quickly changed with time and new legal age restrictions in Texas.
- Started feeling the club life wasn’t a true fit, but kept returning for the income.
3. Grooming & Relationship with a Pimp
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Meeting her trafficker: Met through a mutual acquaintance at the club. (08:08)
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Describes the manipulative tactics he used to prey on her vulnerabilities, e.g., exploiting her need for validation (“You’re one of a kind, you have so much potential.”)
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Emotional manipulation created a false sense of love and security:
“He was a really good talker… knew exactly what to say to trigger my daddy issues.” (09:07 – Emily)
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She moved in with him, and he began orchestrating a dependence on him—emotionally and financially (having her bring back her club earnings).
4. Descent into Trafficking and Abuse
- Emily’s boyfriend coerced her into giving him all of her earnings, ostensibly to “build her up,” but actually fueled by his gambling addiction (12:09–12:37).
- “He was using all of it to, like, gamble. He was terrible with money.” (12:26 – Emily)
- Sets up a power dynamic with another girl ("G") already working for him, encouraging Emily to see herself as 'special' while concurrently pushing her further into "the life”—eventually onto the streets, “the blade.”
- Emotional and physical abuse escalates—including public humiliation, being attacked in a car, and sexual coercion after violence:
“He pulls me by my hair… and he just starts whamming me in my head... My body goes into fight, flight, or freeze. And I froze.” (17:01 – Emily)
- Introduction and normalization of drug use (perks, hydros) as a coping mechanism after abuse (24:02+).
5. Life in Trafficking: Street Work, Control & Fear
- Emily describes being forced to set up escort ads, do street work, and surrender all earnings (27:16–29:13).
- Details the hierarchy and violence among the women, the constant threat of police, and the psychological price of affection being weaponized.
- “He started withdrawing his affection, and that left me just wanting it even more and thinking, okay, when is he going to start being nice to me again?” (33:22 – Emily)
- Abuse of all the girls, including G—ranging from beatings to humiliations (hot sauce packets dumped in hair).
6. Attempts to Escape & Repeated Cycles
- Multiple attempts to escape; details how leaving requires secrecy (“If you ever want to leave, you have to sneak away.” – 35:28)
- At one point, Emily is savagely beaten by other girls acting as proxies for her trafficker when she tries to escape (37:01+).
- Stripped of belongings, access to help, left alone in a strange city; ultimately rescued by her mother.
- Repeated returns to the trafficker due to emotional manipulation—each time met with escalated violence:
“He had never beaten me up this bad. I couldn’t hear out of my left ear for a couple months… my ribs were bruised.” (42:35 – Emily)
7. Final Escape and Emotional Aftermath
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Describes her final escape by outmaneuvering her trafficker during a forced drive, discarding the tracking methods and seeking help from strangers (63:43–69:50).
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The complicity of bystanders—her use of the universal distress hand signal goes unnoticed:
“I'm trying to make eye contact with people, trying to show on my face, something's not right here. Nobody gives a f---. Everybody's in their own world.” (63:43+ – Emily)
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The psychological toll remains—panic, fear, and hypervigilance even months after leaving:
“For nine months after I, like, officially left for the last time, I was terrified on a daily basis. I was still in survival mode.” (75:57 – Emily)
8. Healing, Growth, & Advocacy
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Practicing self-awareness and recognizing (and filling) her own voids, rather than seeking external validation.
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Regular therapy crucial to recovery. Host and guest discuss the importance of having the right therapist and reframing trauma:
“If there's a void, I am now able to recognize where it's coming from... And I'm not doing it anymore. The amount of growth I've experienced from that situation—I’m attracting better people.” (86:03 – Emily)
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Now pursuing authenticity through sharing her story on YouTube and considers writing a book to help and educate others about the realities of trafficking, beyond stereotypes.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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On grooming and realization:
“I didn't know at the time that you don't need to listen to what a man says. You need to listen to what he's showing you. I had to learn that the hard way.” (11:20 – Emily) -
On cycles of trauma and returning:
“Something that kept me in this dynamic was the love that he did give me. And then he would keep taking it away. I would keep searching for…Maybe sometime the abuse will stop. I had to learn it on my own.” (27:17 – Emily) -
On the normalization of violence:
“She was used to it. That was normal. And I remember thinking, why is she not sticking up for me? Like, you're a girl. … You can't just treat people like that, right?” (20:14 – Emily) -
On the dangers of street work:
“It’s terrifying. It's so easy to be kidnapped or killed or raped. There are so many stories about that happening out there… He obviously doesn’t care about me.” (17:33 – Emily) -
Gaslighting after abuse:
“He's like, what's wrong? Like, he acted like nothing happened…Just like, totally gaslighting you. It made me feel kind of crazy.” (24:10 – Emily) -
On help and bystander inaction:
“I'm doing that [distress signal] behind my back, hoping somebody sees and notices… Nobody gives a f---. Everybody's in their own world.” (63:43 – Emily) -
On trauma’s effect on identity:
“You should never identify with things that have happened in your past. Those are just stepping stones… But they help you in your growth and your journey.” (89:27 – Da Vorah) -
On what trafficking actually looks like:
“If you want to call it what it actually is, trafficking, it looks so different than what you think…It can look like meeting a guy in a club or meeting a guy at a bar… And that’s it.” (83:17 – Emily)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Emily’s Childhood and Early Trauma: 01:09–06:09
- First Experiences Dancing/Club Scene: 06:09–08:07
- Meeting the Boyfriend/Trafficker: 08:08–12:05
- Financial & Emotional Control Begins: 12:09–15:59
- Escalation of Abuse & First Physical Attack: 15:59–20:13
- Drug Use as Coping Mechanism: 24:02–27:16
- Street Work and the Life: 27:17–33:22
- Violence Against Other Girls, The Blade: 33:22–35:28
- Cycle of Escape/Return & Betrayal by Other Victims: 37:01–42:07
- Worst Physical Abuse, Hospitalization: 42:35–46:40
- How the Exit Finally Happened: 63:43–69:50
- Aftermath, Healing, and Advocacy: 73:40–87:29
Tone & Language
The tone is raw, candid, and deeply vulnerable, offering insight into both the mechanics of trafficking and the tangled psychological chains that bind its victims. Emily speaks openly about her shame, the ways she was manipulated, and her slow road to healing—providing a voice for survivors and a powerful warning to anyone who thinks, “That would never happen to me.”
Final Thoughts
This episode is a brutally honest, essential listen for anyone who wants to understand how trafficking can happen in plain sight, the complexity of escape, and the hope found in survival and self-reconstruction. Emily’s story is as much about what traps young women as it is about the courage required to break free—and how vital compassionate support is in every phase of the journey.
Emily can be found sharing more on her YouTube channel. For those in a similar situation or looking for support or information, Devorah encourages reaching out through the podcast’s contact links.