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- [00:00]
Ryan Reynolds
Does it ever feel like you're a marketing professional just speaking into the boy? Well, with LinkedIn ads, you can know you're reaching the right decision makers. You can even target buyers by job title, industry, company seniority, skills. Wait, did I say job title yet? Get started today and see how you can avoid the void and reach the right buyers with LinkedIn ads. We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Get started at LinkedIn.com results, terms and conditions apply. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this.
- [00:33]
Unknown Host
But anyone can get the same Premium.
- [00:35]
Ryan Reynolds
Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month.
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Unknown Host
Required intro rate, first 3 months only.
- [00:56]
Unknown Guest
Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees, extra fee, full terms@mintmobile.com hi, I'm, and I am the mother of identical twin girls that were conceived through ivf. And just as a quick preface, I'm not a medical professional, so what I say and sharing this is 100% based off of what I learned throughout my process. And everyone's fertility journey that's going through it is so different. It's such a wide spectrum. But my hopes in sharing this is that I can at least help one family feel a little less alone. I'll start from the beginning. My husband and I got married during COVID so that kind of derailed all of our wedding plans. And our initial plan was, okay, we're gonna get married, we're gonna have kids right after. That's like we're just gonna go through those motions of what you're supposed to do. And with the whole Covid thing, it kind of derailed everything, including our honeymoon plan. So we ended up taking our honeymoon trip like a year after we got married. So we're like, okay, let's take the year. We won't, we won't start trying to have kids just yet. We'll give ourselves the year, take our actual honeymoon trip, and then after that we'll start to try to have a baby. So that year Mark kind of comes around and I get off of the birth control pill and you know, we start thinking like, okay, this, this is time. One night we're over our friend's house and my friend is clairvoyant. So she was like, let me read your cards. And the way she did it was like a past, present, and future reading. And I had told her, you know, we're going to start trying for kids soon. And she's like, do you want me to tell you what I. What I'm feeling about that? And I'm like, yeah, sure. And she's like, I see a struggle. She's like, I don't know how far it's going to go. I don't know if you're going to need to look into fertility treatments, but I see a struggle. I'm like, okay. So I kind of kept that, like, in my back pocket. I didn't want to base everything around that, like, okay, this is what's going to happen to me. So I keep that in the back of my mind, but I don't really let it affect me. I buy the ovulation test strips. I buy the pregnancy test strips. We're ready. We're ready to go. And I'm like, peeing in cups all the time to see if I get a positive ovulation strip. And it took me probably, like, I don't know, probably three months to finally get that positive on an ovulation strip. And I'm like, okay. It's probably because I was on a pill for so long. Like, maybe it just needed some time to, like, regulate.
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Unknown Host
And that's what I was going to ask you if, you know. So how long were you on the pill?
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Unknown Guest
Since high school. So, like, over 10 years.
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Unknown Host
So do they say that it takes longer to get pregnant, like, when you get off of the pill? Or, like, do they. Is that.
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Unknown Guest
I think they do recommend waiting, like, waiting a little bit, just so your body can regulate and you can get a real period. Because, you know, when you're on the pill, it's not technically a period as far as, like, an ovulation cycle or anything like that.
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Unknown Host
There's, like, known struggles after you're on the pill for that long.
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Unknown Guest
Yeah. I do think that it plays a factor.
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Unknown Host
Okay.
- [03:58]
Unknown Guest
Yeah. So we finally get that positive ovulationship. I'm like, okay, here we go. We're ready to go. I'm tracking it and, you know, we're having sex regularly throughout that window. I think it's like three days, technically, of, like, the highest fertility within your cycle. A couple months go by, and I'm like, okay, like, I guess it's just gonna take us a little bit longer, whatever. But I'm like, it was starting to become A chore for us, like, and we're trying, as in my legs up in the air afterwards, pillow under my butt, just sitting there for 10 minutes afterwards, just hoping that can you take literally. So a year goes by. A friend of mine is FaceTiming me one night and it's weird, she never FaceTimes me. So I pick up the phone and she's holding a positive pregnancy test. And I was like, holy. She wasn't even trying. They, her and her husband did eventually want to have kids, but she was off the pill, I think for like less than a month. And, And I was so happy for her, but I couldn't help but feel like that's when I knew, like, something is wrong. And I feel so guilty still that I felt that way and like, I didn't want to take anything away from her. But I cried all week after that. And I finally said something to my mom. My mom and I are super close, and she works at the OB GYN office that I go to. And I, I said to her, like, it's not fair, you know, she's like, you know, it's been a year now. Like, I think it's time for you to come in and maybe get some labs done. So I'm like, okay. So I come in, I get some blood work done, and of course I get the results through the portal before my doctor can even call me. And I, I'm looking through it, it's like, okay, this looks fine. This looks fine. And then I see something called amh, and that was really low. And my doctor calls me pretty, pretty shortly after I got the test, and she's like, okay, so here's what's happening. Your AMH level is low and your AMH is relative to your egg reserve. And she's like, you're going to have to be referred to the fertility clinic. I'm like, okay. I'm like, all right, let's. This is what we're doing. So I call my mom after and I'm like, what did I do wrong? What could I have done different? Like. And she's like, no, like, this is just. This is how you were born. You were born this way. Some. Some people just are born with less eggs. And, you know, then I'm going down this wormhole and it's like, I have the egg reserve of like a 45 year old woman as I was like 28 or 29 at the time. So I'll never forget. She's like, all it takes is one good egg. So I'm like, all right, let's just focus on that. And she's like, you're going to have your baby. So I go to the fertility appointment again, a bunch more labs. They scheduled a couple of procedures to make sure my fallopian tubes weren't blocked. And all that came out clear. But it was definitely still relative to the fact that I just have a really low egg reserve for someone my age. So with my periods being so irregular, my cycle is, has always been so irregular, even from when I first got my period. My doctor offered, she said, you can either do iui, which is like, basically insemination. So what they would do is, for lack of, like, better term, to simplify. It's like they basically turkey baster you during your ovulation cycle. And she said, you know, you have that option, but with your cycle being so irregular, IVF has higher success rate, and you're going to be putting in so much more effort with your irregular cycle for IUI to be successful for you. So IUI success rates, I think it's like 10 to 20% of live birth, whereas IVF goes up to, like, about 50%.
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Unknown Host
Okay.
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Unknown Guest
So I'm like, all right. Me and my husband decided to think about it for a couple days as to what we wanted to do, and we decided, let's just start with the ivf. So we had to work through getting the insurance approvals. And in my chart, I, like, I'm usually very honest with my doctors. I, I feel like that's kind of the better option most of the time, just telling them, like, and it was still in my chart that I smoked weed and I hadn't smoked in months. You know, I stopped a while before that, and I told him that my husband had smoked cigarettes at the time, too. So insurance wanted us to both take a nicotine test, even though I, I, I'm not a cigarette smoker, and we had to get that done. And of course, it takes, like, I think it was like, a month for nicotine to get fully out of your system to get that negative test result. So he went cold turkey, and we both went in. Obviously, those came out fine. And then the insurance is like, okay, well, now we also need you to take a marijuana test, too. So we do that, and they both end up coming back negative, thankfully. And they're like, all right, we finally got the approval. You're good to go.
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Unknown Host
So in order for it to get approved by insurance, you guys had to be negative for nicotine and marijuana?
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Unknown Guest
Yes. Yeah, they'll do anything to not cover it got it, you know, so we got the go ahead to start and I got all the medication shipped. They put you on the pill for a couple of days because it's really important, you know, your cycle to make sure you're at the right point when you start. So I was on the pill for a couple days and then they're like, okay, you can start, start giving yourself shots. So I had started, it was two shots a day for a couple weeks that I had to administer myself. So the first night I'm like, oh my God. And I'm usually okay with needles. They really don't bother me too much. But when you're then taking that needle and jabbing yourself, it's like, I don't know. And where are you doing it?
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Unknown Host
Your stomach?
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Unknown Guest
Yeah, your stomach. Like lower abdomen area. The first night, I'm like, holy. Like, I can't believe I'm about to do this. I had full blown mental breakdown after I finally was like, okay, let me just do this. I did. It wasn't bad. So I'm like, okay, I can do this. The next morning, some of the medication, you have to mix yourself like the powder into the saline. And so that's the morning shot that I had to take. I ended up mixing the medication wrong. And I didn't realize until after I had already injected myself with it. So again, another full blown panic mode. And I called my mom. I'm like, I, I, this is what I did. Yeah, Like, I'm like, this is it. I, I ruined it. And she's like, no, it's fine. Everything's fine. You just mix a little extra saline. It's not going to do anything. It's not going to harm anything. So I was giving myself two shots a day. One in the morning, one at night for a couple weeks. And during that period, I have to get my blood drawn every two days along with an ultrasound. A pelvic ultrasound? Yes. So even like Easter Sunday, my husband had to drive me into Boston, into the city to get my blood. Blood drawn.
- [11:00]
Unknown Host
That's terrible.
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Unknown Guest
Yeah, because they want to make sure your estrogen level is trending properly. There are a couple of labs like that they had to keep tabs on throughout the process.
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Unknown Host
How long is the process? Like, how long did you have to do this?
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Unknown Guest
It differs. So I was, it was about three to four weeks for me before I was able to kind of move forward with the next step. But basically what the medication does is makes your body, makes your ovaries stimulate more and start releasing more eggs. So you have follicles on your ovaries, which is where your eggs come from when you're ovulating. So what they're doing with the ultrasounds is they're checking to see how many follicles you have to then hopefully make it relevant to how many eggs you might receive through the egg. Egg. Egg retrieval process. So a couple weeks later, I got the go ahead to take what is called the trigger shot. So the trigger shot, you take 36 hours before your egg retrieval, and it's this huge needle like this that has to go into your butt. So I had to take it. My time was at midnight, so I. I couldn't do it myself, so I had to wake up my husband. I set alarm, and he did great, you know.
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Unknown Host
Did it hurt?
- [12:14]
Unknown Guest
It. It hurt a little bit. It wasn't terrible, but it was. It was a pretty big needle. But all went great. And then 36 hours later, we had our appointment in Boston to do the egg retrieval. They put you under anesthesia for it, and my husband brings in his cup of sperm with him too, because they'll do kind of all that in preparation for the egg transfer, which is normally a couple days later. So I go in, you get put under anesthesia. It's a very, very quick procedure. And I ended up getting six eggs retrieved.
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Unknown Host
So is that good? Is that a good amount?
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Unknown Guest
It's a pretty good amount. Some people get tons. I've heard stories where people get like, 20.
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Unknown Host
Oh, wow.
- [12:53]
Unknown Guest
Yeah. But then there's also some people who might get one or two. There's some people who get none. So I was fortunate enough that I'm like, okay, you get six eggs. But from that six, only two of them made it to the blast cycle. So I think I had six eggs. Five of them matured, and two of them made it to the blast, which means they're good to transfer. So three days later, I went in to have the egg transfer done. And with my age and with it being my first cycle of ivf, insurance only approved to transfer one egg, which is fine, because I thought it was like, you'd have a choice to do it or. But then I looked at my insurance paperwork, and it's like, no, you're. This is what is set up for. We're covering the transfer of one embryo. So went in. And they do a grading skill of the embryos too. So my EMBR was graded as an 8AA, which is based on the cell development, how it looks, and it's. The 8AA is essentially as good as it can possibly get. So I know that the success isn't always high, especially with your first round. So I went in hopeful, but I wasn't necessarily getting my hopes up. Like, I was preparing that this might not work. I might have to go in again for another embryo transfer.
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Unknown Host
And then if you had to do it again, would you have to start back over, like, with the shots and then the retrieval?
- [14:19]
Unknown Guest
So it depends on how many embryos you have. So I had two. So I was able to transfer one, and then one of them froze. So they'll do. They'll freeze any other good embryos that they have and store them. There are some people, though, that will have to go through multiple cycles to get, you know, a good embryo. Yeah. So they transfer that and they tell you not to test at home. Take a pregnancy test. Most people do still test because they do set up a blood work. They set up blood work for 10 days after your transfer. So 10 days after, they'll set up blood work to see if it worked. They call that beta. It's your beta HCG test. So around day five, I started testing to see if it was positive or not. And I got the faintest little squinter positive. And I'm like, oh, my God. And from there, I was still testing every day because you can see the line getting darker and darker. Nordstrom brings you the season's most wanted brands. Skims, Mango free people, and Princess polly, all under $100. From trending sneakers to beauty must haves, we've curated the styles you'll wear on repeat this spring. Free shipping, free returns, and in store pickup make it easier than shop now in stores and@nordstrom.com this episode is brought.
- [15:49]
Ryan Reynolds
To you by Peloton.
- [15:50]
Unknown Guest
Everyone has a reason to change. Growing old, heartbreak, a fresh start.
- [15:56]
Ryan Reynolds
Whatever it may be, Peloton is here to get you through life's biggest moments with instructors that speak your language and workouts that move to your own rhythm. Peloton's tread and all access membership help you set your targets, track your progress.
- [16:09]
Unknown Guest
And get stronger, making your fitness goals a reality. Find your push, find your power. Peloton. Visit1peloton.com so mine was getting progressively darker. So I'm like, okay, I'm. I think this worked. So I went in for the blood test 10 days later. And ideally, a good number to see is around a hundred. They want the higher the better. But something as low as, like 5 could indicate a positive HCG level. So I look at my blood work when it came back, and mine was 494, which is excellent to see. So I'm like, okay. Like, I'm feeling pretty good about this. So they're like, okay, congratulations, you're pregnant. And now you have to wait. I think it was like another eight weeks or so to come in and get your first ultrasound done. So going to the ultrasound and we're like, first appointment of the day. It was a Friday at 8 o'clock in the morning. And we get taken back and she starts. And I'm looking at the screen a bit, and she's like, okay, you transferred one embryo? I'm like, yeah. And she goes, well, there's two. I look, I was like, shut the up. There is no way. I'm sitting there and complete shock. I. And I like, screamed at the top of my lungs, my poor husband. He bright red in the face. And then you just see him turn, like ghost white. I'm like, I can't believe this. I cannot believe this is happening. So my embryo split. There's a 4% chance of your embryo splitting.
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Unknown Host
That's crazy.
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Unknown Guest
Yeah, I. I never ever thought that this would happen because, you know, you tell people, oh, yeah, I'm going through ivf. And they're like, oh, well, there's a chance you're gonna have twins. Like, oh, no, I. I'm only transferring one. You know, a lot of the times when you see twins from ivf, it's due to them transferring multiple eggs. Yeah.
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Unknown Host
So you kind of have more of a choice. Or you can try to.
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Unknown Guest
It really goes by insurance approval. Like, your age is a factor, how many cycles you've done in the past. So if you have multiple cycles that have failed, the chances of you, you know, being able to transfer more than one, you know, that's usually when they. When they start to transfer more than one to give you a higher chance of having a viable pregnancy.
- [18:28]
Unknown Host
Got it.
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Unknown Guest
So I'm like, all right, I guess this is what we're doing. And at the time, I mean, a good friend of mine had twins too, already, so hers were completely spontaneous. She has identicals. And I reached out to her. I'm like, girl, you got to talk me off this ledge here. She's like, no. She's like, this is great. She's given me advice from day one and has helped me along the process and still does today. It's so nice to have a good support person there for you and finding a community, because it is so different when you're raising twins compared to just raising one child.
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Unknown Host
Yeah.
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Unknown Guest
So my pregnancy was Wonderful. I had a great pregnancy. I didn't experience morning sickness. I stayed active. I worked out a few times a week throughout it. But with twins, it's our. It's considered a high risk pregnancy.
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Unknown Host
That's what I was going to ask you, like. And yeah, IVF pregnancies in general, are they considered higher risk? Like, are you.
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Unknown Guest
Not necessarily, no. There are risk factors with ivf, you know, we had to get an echo done of their hearts when they were still. When I was still pregnant to make sure, because they're higher risk for having heart defects, I guess. But that all came back normal. So I was referred to maternal fetal medicine for monitoring because of the high risk pregnancy. So I went in and had ultrasounds every two weeks and doctor's appointments in between just to make sure everything was good. Good. Twins normally will always be smaller on the smaller end, you know, so comparable to a singleton because it, you know, they're sharing lots of space in there. So I go in for ultrasounds every two weeks, have a doctor's appointment in between. So I'm in and out of the doctors constantly. And when I was around 30 weeks, I went in for the ultrasound, normal. And I see that she's scanning for their dopplers to look at their umbilical blood flow over and over and over again. And she's really not saying anything. And I'm like, okay, I have a feeling something is not right. So the doctor comes in and he goes, so we're gonna admit you for a few days to the hospital. There are some issues with the blood flow to twin B. So they'll label twin A and twin B. He says, there are some blood flow issues. And I'm like, okay. And he was saying, you know, it could cause some issues as far as their growth. And she was. She was trending. It was. She was in, like, the less than 2 percentile. So when it's that low, it's considered fetal growth restriction. So they're talking about, you know, you might have to stay in the hospital for the remainder of your pregnancy, which I was only 30 weeks. They're like, where our goal is to get you to 34 weeks. So I'm like, oh, my God, I'm going to have to stay in the hospital for a month. Yeah, I. I'm like, I can't. I will lose my mind. And so I talked to the nurse manager. You know, she came in, she kind of settled my nerves. She's like, you know, it's going to be a little boring. Bring some books, bring things to entertain yourself if you have work to do or. So I went home, I packed my bag and the one thing I was so upset about, leaving my dogs, I don't know why that was. What was really affecting me the most is that I didn't really prepare enough. Like, I'm like, I might not see them again for weeks. Those are your babies too. I know. And I felt so bad and like I. I was totally fine at the doctors. But then I got home, I packed my bag and I'm looking at my dogs. They're like, where the hell are you going? Like, oh my God, I wish I.
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Unknown Host
Could bring you with.
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Unknown Guest
I know, exactly. So I get checked into the hospital, you know, and they're just going to monitor me for the next few days and see if that Doppler improves. And thankfully it did. So I was able to go back home three days later and. But the goal was still to get me to 34 weeks.
- [22:25]
Unknown Host
Hi guys. Today's episode is sponsored by Fatty 15. I am somebody that is always looking for the next best supplement or vitamin that is going to help conquer all of these things that have come with aging, such as my poor sleep, my lack of energy, my stiff joints, and you know, for a while I tried to act like they weren't there, but they are very much there. And I am fully blaming the fact that I am getting older and even though I'm still young, I am starting to feel like a grandma. That being said, I am always on the hunt for an amazing product that will just help me and my loved ones be healthier overall, that will slow down the aging process, make me feel better, and hopefully make me live longer. So obviously I'm saying all this for a reason. So I would love to introduce to you guys C15 from Fatty 15, which is the first essential fatty acid to be discovered in more than 90 years. C15 supports our long term health and wellness and obviously you guessed it, aging and longevity. So if you guys did not know this, if our bodies do not have enough C15, we become fragile and ultimately we age faster. And when our cells age, our bodies age too. So what fatty 15 does is it helps repair age related damage to cells as well as helps to protect them from future breakdown. It activates pathways in our body that helps regulate mood, sleep and natural repair mechanisms that help support our overall health. And I always like to mention this because these are qualities in a product that I always look out for. This is a 100% pure C15 supplement. It is vegan friendly, it is free of flavors, fillers, allergens, and preservatives. Some qualities that I really love that have stood out to me. Number one is going to be my deeper sleep. I take my sleep very seriously. If I don't get deep sleep, I don't feel good. So overall, I feel like my sleep has been deeper. I've had better energy levels, which just has me feeling like I don't need that extra caffeine throughout the day, which is super important. And obviously, like I said, as we age, these things are natural, they happen. But I love that there is a product that can help me with all of these things and not only is it making me healthier, but it is also slowing down the aging process. Fatty 15 is on a mission to optimize your C15 levels to help you live healthier and longer. You can get an additional 15 off their 90 day subscription starter kit by going to fatty15.com/insane and using code INSANE at checkout. That is fatty15.com I N S A n E at checkout. And now back to the episode.
- [25:08]
Unknown Guest
So I still then had to get more frequent ultrasounds and more frequent doctor's appointments just to make sure that there was no issues with those dopplers moving forward. So everything worked out fine. They're like, let's schedule a C section for you at 34 weeks. So that's what they did. I go in the day of, and I don't know what I was expecting with the C section, but you go into this huge room, it's bigger than in here, and it's just bright white lights everywhere. There's like 20 people in there. Because with twins, they have, you know, a team for each baby, plus they have the NICU team ready to go. And everything went great. I thought it was such, I don't want to say an easy process because it wasn't easy, but it went a lot smoother than what I would have ever expected. But the girls were born at 312 and 314. Twin A, that's Talia, she weighed 4 pounds, 9 ounces. And twin B, Adriana, weighed 3 pounds, 14 ounces. So they were so tiny. And I was able to see them for a second. And then they got brought right to the nicu. And my husband, he looked at me and he's like, he doesn't really get very emotional when it comes to these things. And he looks at me, he's like, is it okay to cry? Like, of course he had the option. He's like, okay, do you want to stay in here with me, or do you want to go down to the nicu? I'm like, go, go. Go see our babies. So he went, and I was able to go see them after I was out of the recovery room, which really sucked because I wasn't even able to hold him until the next morning. So I was brought in. I was able to see them really quickly, but it was shift change. They had to get me checked into my room. And that's like, the one thing. It's like, wow, they really don't prepare you enough for the way that it goes with something like that, where, you know, it's so different, where you see people with singletons and they have, like, a totally different experience. Even just like, people that, like, not even just twins necessarily, but with your babies in the nicu, it really sucks. But they did so good. They never needed any breathing support. And I was in the hospital for about five days for the C section recovery, so it was nice. I was able to basically spend my entire day with them still. But then I got discharged, and having to leave them was so hard to leave. And it's like, you're leaving without your arm. You know, we would go to the NICU every day and just like, sit there and spend our whole day there. But it's like, you know, I wasn't the first person to feed my baby. I wasn't the first person to change their diapers. You know, it's. Or bathe them, you know, wash their hair. That was probably the hardest part. But like I said, they did so great there. They really thrived. And they tell you to prepare. Like, I. They were born at 34 weeks, so that was November 30th, and my actual due date was January 10th. So, you know, anytime you ask the NICU nurses, you know, how. How long do you think they're going to be in here for? They're like, well, you should really prepare for them to be here until, you know what they would be considered. Considered full term. So. Which would be six weeks of them being there. But luckily enough, they did so well, and they were totally thriving. Twin A was in there for 14 days, and Twin B was in there for 16 days. So we were able to take Talia home. It was so great being able to take her home, but having to leave her sister. It was like the best but worst day, you know, so we took her home. And the first night, I swear, I think I slept, like, five minutes throughout the night. I'm, like, checking to make sure she's breathing and making sure she's all right. And then plus waking up every couple hours to feed her, it was so exhausting. And then two days later, when we bring Twin B home, it's like, God, I cannot believe I'm doing this. It was. You get to the point where you're so exhausted, you know, you think you're tired on other days, but this level of exhaustion was unbelievable. I have never felt so tired in my life. And you have no choice but to keep getting up. You have to get up there. There's no. There's no option. You have a child to take care of. You have two children to take care of. So my husband and I both, like, we're like, we have to figure out some different type of schedule here so that each of us can start to get some good sleep. So what we did was I would take the overnights and he would wake up early in the morning and I would sleep for a few hours until like, like 6am till noon. And he would handle that shift. And that worked out pretty well for us. But it still was like, wow, like, we are still so exhausted. That went on and, you know, you get into like a couple weeks after, it's like, this is so terribly difficult. And I would lay there and like, for the longest time I thought I made such a mistake and I would sit there and I'm like, I hate being a mom. I can't do this. Like, it's so hard having two babies at once where they both need you at the same time. And even little things like, you know, I see my friends with one baby, they're able to go out and, you know, it's easy for them. I don't want to say easy, but it's easier for them to get out of the house. Here I am having to pack up two babies, you know, having to worry about, you know, how am I going to handle this on my own. You know, my husband went back to work about like eight weeks after, and I would just sit there all day. And, you know, it's supposed to be one of the happiest times of your life, but I never felt more alone. And I look back, I'm like, holy crap. Like, even still today, I'm like, it's. It sucks sometimes having two at once, where you're not really able to have that like one on one bond that you see other parents have. And it is like, you know, everything like from diaper cost to formula costs, all of that is times two. And God, it is ridiculous the amount of diapers we go through the amount of formula we were going through. But it was, it was really easy to constantly compare yourself to people that only have one child and how different it is having two at once. Especially when you weren't expecting to have two at once. You know, like here I was transferring one embryo. I'm like, okay, I'll have one baby. And it's like I couldn't even fathom going out to run a quick errand alone without my husband. After about four months, the girl started sleeping through the night, which was such a game changer. I. I finally felt like I was a real person again and a real human like I was. I started getting good sleep. And you're back on a schedule. Exactly.
- [32:27]
Ryan Reynolds
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- [33:25]
Unknown Guest
That, and that is so important when it comes to twins is keeping that routine of, you know, nap times and feeding times and their wake windows and just making sure that you keep that routine for them because that is what is going to help you thrive. You know, you can't just go out anywhere and like, not be mindful of their, their needs, you know, but looking at my life today, the one thing like I wish I could go back in time and tell myself like, you can do this. And I had help. You know, my mom was over all the time. My siblings, my friends, you know, I had a great support system. And you know, even people just coming over and like bringing a coffee or, you know, a lot of people would bring us food. That was so helpful because we, we weren't eating half the time, we weren't eating. I maybe would drink a sip of water a day because I was so tired. And just every second the babies needed something, especially when they were small. It was so challenging to make sure. That you're also prioritizing your own health and your own mental health, too. You know, I got stuck in such a dark place for a really long time, and I probably should have asked for more help. That's probably one thing I. I do regret a little bit, is I should have asked for help. I should have told people.
- [34:50]
Unknown Host
Did you do any type of therapy or anything?
- [34:52]
Unknown Guest
I didn't, and I really should have. And when I did, I did start to kind of look into it a bit. But then it was time for me to start going back to work. You know, my maternity leave was ending, and they were really like, I don't want to say I didn't have the time because I could have made the time, but it was hard to work around my work schedule. Plus, being a mom, it's. You know, I. I should have. I don't know, it was like the intrusive thoughts that you get and that constant comparison of, like, the what ifs. This would be so much easier if I just had one child.
- [35:26]
Unknown Host
Yeah.
- [35:26]
Unknown Guest
I would be able to do this if I just had one child.
- [35:29]
Unknown Host
Well, I think too, like, even going back to what I wanted to mention or touch on a little bit in the beginning, like when you said that your friend told you that she was pregnant and you felt guilty because. Yeah, I feel like, you know, that's kind of how it happens. It's like the people that aren't trying.
- [35:46]
Unknown Guest
Exactly. You see people all the time and it is.
- [35:49]
Unknown Host
And then. Yeah. And it does feel at times like life's not fair. And, you know, as humans, I don't. I'm not saying this in a negative way, but it's okay to feel selfish at times and to be upset. That's a normal emotion.
- [36:03]
Unknown Guest
Exactly.
- [36:03]
Unknown Host
And it doesn't mean that you are taking away from her or her experience. You know, all you can do in that moment is be a good friend.
- [36:10]
Unknown Guest
Right.
- [36:10]
Unknown Host
But it's also normal and okay to feel sad and feel like, you know, what's wrong with me? And those are all normal emotions. And I think that it's important to talk about because there's so many people that, you know, probably feel that way and feel like, wow, like, my friend that didn't even want a kid is now pregnant easily.
- [36:27]
Unknown Guest
Yes.
- [36:27]
Unknown Host
You know, and is having this breeze of an experience. And I'm over here working my ass.
- [36:31]
Unknown Guest
Off, literally, like, it's becoming a chore for me trying to have a child.
- [36:35]
Unknown Host
So, you know, I think that on its own is. Is very important to acknowledge, but also to not beat yourself up over, you know, those are such normal emotions. Right. And then also just the experience of having babies. I mean, I've heard so many times and.
- [36:51]
Unknown Guest
Look.
- [36:54]
Unknown Host
I don't know if I want kids. You know, sometimes I do. But I also know my personality and I know how overwhelmed I can get. And I've heard these stories of people being so overwhelmed and having postpartum depression and.
- [37:08]
Unknown Guest
Yeah.
- [37:08]
Unknown Host
Everything in between. And I. I don't know if I. I mean, that is. I can't imagine.
- [37:12]
Unknown Guest
Yeah, it is. It's a different feeling. You know, you think, oh, I just had a baby. This is great. This is the most exciting time of my life.
- [37:20]
Unknown Host
But it is life so focused on another human being.
- [37:23]
Unknown Guest
Yeah. You don't.
- [37:24]
Unknown Host
Right. And I, I don't think people understand when you are not getting sleep or food, like, your basic needs.
- [37:31]
Unknown Guest
Exactly.
- [37:32]
Unknown Host
You will go insane.
- [37:33]
Unknown Guest
Totally. Yeah.
- [37:36]
Unknown Host
But no, like. So I, I, you know, I'm not gonna say I get it, because I don't. But, like, I mean, the closest thing I can understand is when people get a puppy and they're like, you know, it's like, they say it's like having a baby. And, you know, people, I'd be lying if there wasn't times that you, you sit there and you feel so stressed and, like, angry at yourself and overwhelmed, and you're like, why did I do this? Like, why did I put myself. But then it's like. And it's hard in those moments to think, like, one day it'll all be worth it.
- [38:02]
Unknown Guest
Right.
- [38:02]
Unknown Host
You know, and I feel like it. It kind of is similar in that sense. Obviously, a human is way, way different. But that's just for myself, the kind of thing that I think back to, like, having a thought similar to that of, like, you put yourself in these situations thinking it's going to be, you know, but it's important because I think a lot of people also, especially, you know, new moms, they probably feel so guilty for feeling those ways.
- [38:23]
Unknown Guest
Yeah. But it's totally normal to feel that way. You know, you have to say goodbye to your old self, essentially. Like, you become a whole new person.
- [38:32]
Unknown Host
You have to say goodbye to freedom, your schedule.
- [38:34]
Unknown Guest
Yeah.
- [38:35]
Unknown Host
Routine, you know, and. But I will say that I think by letting, letting go of that and, and also getting through that, like, while. Yes, I know that you mentioned. Okay, you should have leaned on, you know, maybe a therapist or other people for more help. I think being able to reflect and know that you got through that gives you a new type of strength of, like, If I could get through that, I can get through it.
- [38:58]
Unknown Guest
Yes, exactly. Because it's.
- [39:00]
Unknown Host
It's almost like it breaks you in a way.
- [39:02]
Unknown Guest
It does.
- [39:03]
Unknown Host
Like, it breaks your mental strength for a little bit.
- [39:06]
Unknown Guest
Right. Especially, you know, having to go through the process of ivf. You know, it's like, okay, the one thing I'm supposed to be able to do as a woman is carry a child, and here I am unable to even conceive a child, you know? Yeah, it was hard.
- [39:21]
Unknown Host
Right.
- [39:21]
Unknown Guest
So you go through that, and then you expect, okay, I'm gonna. I'm gonna have a baby. And then it ends up being two babies, you know, so everything right away. Yeah, I. I couldn't. I didn't. I wasn't able to hold them until the next morning. You know, I.
- [39:34]
Unknown Host
You have to kind of accept that your experience is different, but in its own beautiful way. It's like. It's its own process and it's its own journey. And I feel like that's another reason, you know, like I was saying before we started filming, why it's so important for you to be here and talking about it. Because so many people go through that journey and not just, like, the normal of, you know, people have struggles. And I think that the more that these experiences are talked about, the less comparison, hopefully. Because I think that's what really eats you up is that comparison of, like. Well, like you said, like, the what ifs, and, well, these people get to have babies, and it happens this way. And I didn't get that experience, but.
- [40:17]
Unknown Guest
Right.
- [40:17]
Unknown Host
You know, while. Yes, it's different and it sucks in a way, because you didn't get that you have two beautiful, healthy babies, you.
- [40:26]
Unknown Guest
Know, and it's, like, so amazing, like.
- [40:28]
Unknown Host
But it's hard, like, in those moments, I think, until you're fully out of it and healed from that portion of it. It's hard to view it from that perspective.
- [40:37]
Unknown Guest
Right. And you hear one in six families struggle with fertility. So it is so common now that it's so important to make it. I don't want to say normal, but it is.
- [40:51]
Unknown Host
It's right.
- [40:52]
Unknown Guest
You know, this was my normal.
- [40:55]
Unknown Host
But even just to, I feel like, educate people so they have some sort of preparation for it to go that way, you know, because I think for you, you might have had slight ideas of things or how things might go as you were going through these steps, but you didn't know. I feel like going into it, that it would be this way during birth and then right after. And, you know, you didn't know that they were going to be born early and this, that, and the other. So I think it gives people a better preparation and education of like, okay, this could happen, so that they're not as, like, distraught by it or stuck in that comparison and that sadness.
- [41:30]
Unknown Guest
Right.
- [41:30]
Unknown Host
I'm just like, well, what if, you know.
- [41:33]
Unknown Guest
Yeah. And then you start Googling things and it's, you know, especially when I was going through the IVF process, you know, you start Googling things and it's like, okay, people that are trying to conceive regularly, you know, for. I think within six months, like, 70% of people end up having a baby. Like, you know, end up pregnant within, you know, six months of trying. And here I am, like a year late and up to a year, it's. I think that number goes up to like, 90%.
- [42:05]
Unknown Host
Yeah.
- [42:05]
Unknown Guest
I like to try to find motivational quotes. And, you know, I think I get that from my dad. He is always sending me some sort of motivational quote, even on just a random day. And one quote that I found that stuck really hard throughout the process was to trust the journey, even when you don't understand it.
- [42:26]
Unknown Host
Yeah.
- [42:26]
Unknown Guest
And that was so important to me to remember throughout it is like, let. Let me just trust this process. Let me figure this out and just. Just kind of learn to go with the wave.
- [42:37]
Unknown Host
Right?
- [42:38]
Unknown Guest
Yeah.
- [42:38]
Unknown Host
And I think too, you know, like you were saying, everyone's journey is so different, even with ivf. I think that there could be people that have an easier journey with that and some people that have to do it multiple times and keep trying and trying, and unfortunately, even then they might not have success. So I feel like the more that these stories are discussed, even if each one is different, it provides that community of feeling like you're not alone in it. Because it's so easy to feel so alone, not even just in the experience while it's happening, but just in general afterwards. Because I'm sure that there's times where you're like, you know, I want. I would like to talk to somebody about this or to feel like other people get this and they understand the experience because, you know, it's just everyone is so different and everyone's journey and bodies are so different and.
- [43:29]
Unknown Guest
Right.
- [43:29]
Unknown Host
We obviously, we don't have any control over that. But I think the more communication and resources there are of people sharing those stories, because, you know, I've even seen on TikTok people post their IVF journeys, but even then, it's like that could vary so much between person of.
- [43:44]
Unknown Guest
There are people that have gone through multiple cycles and have been trying for five years.
- [43:50]
Unknown Host
Right.
- [43:50]
Unknown Guest
You know, where it's like, I almost have imposter syndrome when it comes to this. Like, wow. It happened for me on the first time. Like, I just. I got lucky, I guess, you know?
- [44:00]
Unknown Host
Yeah. Even, like the. The twin aspect.
- [44:03]
Unknown Guest
Right. Wow.
- [44:05]
Unknown Host
And do you have any, like, history of twins in your family?
- [44:08]
Unknown Guest
No. So it's funny because I. I did so much research on twins after I found out I was having twins. So there are so many different types of twins. So identical twins don't run in families.
- [44:21]
Unknown Host
Okay. Yeah. And yours are identical.
- [44:23]
Unknown Guest
Yes, mine are identical. When your egg splits, they're identical.
- [44:26]
Unknown Host
Got it.
- [44:27]
Unknown Guest
When you have two separate eggs. So twins that you see that run in people's families, it comes from the mother's side.
- [44:34]
Unknown Host
Okay.
- [44:34]
Unknown Guest
So the woman has. They release multiple eggs. What's it called? I can't remember what it's called. But with twins that run in families, the woman is hyper ovulating, so their body is releasing multiple eggs when they ovulate, which then in turn can lead to twins. Got it. And that's where you see, like, the boy, girl, twins, and, you know, twins that don't look alike.
- [44:58]
Unknown Host
Okay.
- [44:59]
Unknown Guest
Yeah.
- [45:00]
Unknown Host
That's interesting.
- [45:01]
Unknown Guest
Yes. So I have my. My twin pregnancy. They were called Modi. Modi twins. Modi. So they shared a placenta, but they had two separate amniotic sacs.
- [45:13]
Unknown Host
And how old are they now?
- [45:14]
Unknown Guest
They turned 14 months yesterday. Yes. They're starting to work. They're starting to walk, you know, and it's. They're such happy babies. And I can't imagine my life any different now. Where there are still some days where I'm like, wow, this would be so much easier with just one baby. Yeah. Even when it comes down to food shopping, you know, most shopping carriages just have one seat.
- [45:39]
Unknown Host
And it's very normal to go through waves.
- [45:41]
Unknown Guest
Yes.
- [45:41]
Unknown Host
You could have good days, good weeks, good months, and a day where you're like, screw this.
- [45:47]
Unknown Guest
Yeah. Like, this is terrible. Exactly. All normal feelings to, you know, get overwhelmed.
- [45:52]
Unknown Host
And I think that that should be more normalized, I feel.
- [45:54]
Unknown Guest
Yes.
- [45:55]
Unknown Host
Especially. And I feel like social media is kind of split. Like, you have the moms on social media that are more like open and they don't care.
- [46:02]
Unknown Guest
Right.
- [46:02]
Unknown Host
And then there's people that. It could be perceived like they're living this perfect life. They're the best parent.
- [46:08]
Unknown Guest
Yeah.
- [46:08]
Unknown Host
It's so easy to compare yourself to that. But it should be normalized to have all these different emotions, like at the End of the day, like I said before, we're human. It's normal to have these thoughts. I feel like it would be more robotic if you didn't.
- [46:19]
Unknown Guest
Yeah.
- [46:19]
Unknown Host
You know, so it's. I think it's healthy that you go through these different waves of emotions and feelings, and it's educational, and that's all that you can really provide from your experience. Question, do you think that you want any more kids or. No.
- [46:32]
Unknown Guest
So I do have that one embryo that's frozen still, so I could definitely see myself having more children.
- [46:40]
Unknown Host
And how would the process work with that?
- [46:42]
Unknown Guest
So with that, they saw the embryo.
- [46:46]
Unknown Host
Okay.
- [46:46]
Unknown Guest
And then they'll transfer it, but there's a chance that the embryo won't survive the thaw.
- [46:53]
Unknown Host
Okay.
- [46:53]
Unknown Guest
There's a lot of factors that will go into that, too.
- [46:56]
Unknown Host
And then. But you can do that at any time, or is that like a time frame for that?
- [47:01]
Unknown Guest
I think it. You can keep an embryo frozen for a while.
- [47:05]
Unknown Host
Okay.
- [47:05]
Unknown Guest
Yes.
- [47:06]
Unknown Host
And then would you have to go through the shot process again or. No?
- [47:11]
Unknown Guest
I don't believe so. I think there are some. Some instances where you might have to have medication throughout it just to make sure that your body is prepped for it.
- [47:23]
Unknown Host
Okay.
- [47:24]
Unknown Guest
That's my understanding. But I don't know. I think about it, and I really don't think I would want to do another full cycle of ivf.
- [47:35]
Unknown Host
Yeah.
- [47:35]
Ryan Reynolds
Eczema isn't always obvious, but it's real.
- [47:39]
Unknown Guest
And so is the relief from EVGLIS.
- [47:42]
Ryan Reynolds
After an initial dosing phase of 16 weeks, about.
- [47:45]
Unknown Host
About 4 in 10 people taking EBGLIS.
- [47:47]
Ryan Reynolds
Achieved itch relief and clear or almost clear skin. And most of those people maintain skin that's still more clear. At one year with monthly dosing, EBGLIS Lebricizumab LBKZ, a 250mg 2ml injection, is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema, also called atopic dermatitis, that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical. Topical therapies. Eglis can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you're allergic to ebglis. Allergic reactions can occur that can be. Severe eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with Ebglis before starting Ebglis. Tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection searching for real relief. Ask your doctor about ebglis and visit ebgliss.lilly.com or call 1-800-lilyrx or 1-800-545-5979. Spring is here, and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Ubereats.
- [48:40]
Unknown Host
Eats.
- [48:40]
Ryan Reynolds
What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well groomed lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana, that's a no. But a banana, that's a yes. A nice tan.
- [48:50]
Unknown Host
Sorry.
- [48:50]
Ryan Reynolds
Nope. But a box fan? Happily, yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines. Yes. Ubereats can definitely get you that. Get almost. Almost anything delivered with Ubereats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app. For details.
- [49:05]
Unknown Guest
You know, it took a lot on me mentally and even physically, too. You know, it, you know, when your ovaries are being stimulated like that, so they're basically tripling in size, you know, it was so uncomfortable. I felt terribly bloated all the time.
- [49:25]
Unknown Host
What were the side effects?
- [49:26]
Unknown Guest
Yeah, terrible bloating and just like, like cramping. And, you know, you had to be really careful with physical exercise because with them, with your ovaries being so enlarged, it has a chance of it twisting, which could. Yeah, there, there's a lot of things that you have to be mindful of during it. And you know, after they do the egg retrieval, you do experience like, cramping afterwards, which for me was pretty intense for a while. Like, I, I remember coming home from the procedure and like, I was like, this is really. I'm in a lot of pain right now, but within a couple days you feel a lot better.
- [50:04]
Unknown Host
Okay.
- [50:05]
Unknown Guest
Yeah.
- [50:05]
Unknown Host
Geez. Is there anything that you can't do as far as, like, when you're on your IVF journey, like in those, in the beginning phases of when you're doing like the injections and stuff?
- [50:16]
Unknown Guest
Not necessarily. Like, I mean, you can still exercise, but they tell you, you know, be more careful. Yes, be more careful. You know, don't, don't do jumping jacks and anything. Like super high intensity. They tell you, go for, you know, go for a walk or do some stretching, yoga, you know.
- [50:31]
Unknown Host
Right.
- [50:32]
Unknown Guest
That, that's always, you know, even beneficial, too, to make sure that you're still moving your body. I, I'm a firm believer in keeping your body moving. You know, even throughout, throughout my pregnancy, too, I, I tried to stay as active as I possibly could. And I think that made a huge difference for me too. Just making sure that I still kept that self moving for your mental health. Exactly.
- [50:55]
Unknown Host
I feel like that's such a big part of routine for so many people, and just. Even if it's just walking.
- [51:01]
Unknown Guest
Yes.
- [51:02]
Unknown Host
So good for you. Just out and clear your mind, because I think it can be very easy to get in your own head and.
- [51:09]
Unknown Guest
Oh, yeah, make yourself stir crazy throughout that process. Plus being pregnant and then being home with a new baby, you really do get kind of stuck.
- [51:18]
Unknown Host
Yeah.
- [51:18]
Unknown Guest
You know, so it is important to make sure that you are prioritizing your. Your own health too.
- [51:24]
Unknown Host
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
- [51:25]
Unknown Guest
But there are so many resources available too. You know, I found a great community on Facebook, you know, within Massachusetts, you know, that's totally dedicated to parents of ivf, you know, so that was.
- [51:41]
Unknown Host
Can you just, like, read people's stories or can you. And you talk to people in there too?
- [51:44]
Unknown Guest
Yeah, yeah. People go in, they ask questions. You know, there are people that are really experienced with IVF in there that, you know, can help answer questions. And then there's that. So they have that group, and then they have a group for once you do become pregnant after ivf, you know, so parent parenting afterwards.
- [52:03]
Unknown Host
And it's important.
- [52:04]
Unknown Guest
It is so important. You know, we're lucky. As as much of a curse social media can be sometimes, it is so great to have those resources available, you know, at your fingertips.
- [52:14]
Unknown Host
I always say. I say that all the time. I'm like, you know, there are definitely downsides to it, but yeah, you know, even like what we were talking about before, people can comment and say the harshest things, but if someone can just, you know, if somebody's going through an IVF journey or is evil, even just struggling to get pregnant, and they're able to just simply type that in on Google and even listening, you know, listen to your story and just be like, wow, okay, so this is somebody that even after the fact, like, it's still normal, that they're getting emotional about it and they understand it. And I'm not alone. And there's people out there that have also struggled and felt these ways.
- [52:48]
Unknown Guest
Right.
- [52:48]
Unknown Host
It's really important. I mean, that can change somebody's mindset completely. Because, I mean, in those moments when you're in those dark places, it can be very hard for people to even get it. I mean, even if you decided to talk to a therapist sometimes, that doesn't even always help people.
- [53:03]
Unknown Guest
Right.
- [53:04]
Unknown Host
Sometimes you need to feel like some like to talk to Someone directly that has experienced it and gets it.
- [53:11]
Unknown Guest
Exactly. And that was the main thing is, like, I wanted to find a therapist that maybe had twins or went through ivf. And I like. It's very.
- [53:20]
Unknown Host
Morning advice.
- [53:21]
Unknown Guest
Yes, exactly.
- [53:23]
Unknown Host
It makes a big difference, you know, it does. I think. I mean, like we were saying, the more resources and communication and community that you can find with any situation, I think the better you're going to feel and the more helpful it's going to be to help you get through.
- [53:38]
Unknown Guest
Right.
- [53:38]
Unknown Host
These different journeys.
- [53:40]
Unknown Guest
Yes, exactly.
- [53:41]
Unknown Host
For sure. And then for. Just to ask if, you know, I know that you said the Facebook group that you found was for your specific area, right.
- [53:49]
Unknown Guest
Yes.
- [53:49]
Unknown Host
So did you just kind of look it up or.
- [53:52]
Unknown Guest
I. Yes, I went on Facebook and I typed it in and it popped up. So I'm sure there are other resources like that for other people, other areas. Yeah. So, yeah, I would definitely recommend looking into them.
- [54:04]
Unknown Host
Right. Because I feel like that, too, when it's something. I noticed that with things that are platforms like Facebook, when people can just write in, I feel like it's more like blog style.
- [54:13]
Unknown Guest
Yeah.
- [54:13]
Unknown Host
So it's very. I feel like unfiltered and real and raw. And I think that's very important because you can read it and comment. Then you also have the ability to message people.
- [54:22]
Unknown Guest
People.
- [54:23]
Unknown Host
If you want to.
- [54:24]
Unknown Guest
Yes.
- [54:24]
Unknown Host
So I think that's a good idea for people to research and look it up.
- [54:27]
Unknown Guest
Yeah. Yeah, I would. I mean, if, like I said, if I can help one person feel less alone or help them find resources. Yeah, I would love to help.