Podcast Summary: "We're Here to Help" Episode 130: "I'm a Dog, You're a Lady. Relax"

Release Date: November 11, 2024
Hosts: Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds
Producer: Kevin Bartelt
Guest: Oliver Raleigh

Introduction

In Episode 130 of "We're Here to Help," hosts Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds tackle two unique and entertaining listener dilemmas. From dealing with unexpected romantic attention directed at a pet dog to resolving a marital disagreement over their podcast's theme song, the duo navigates through humorous and heartfelt advice with the occasional expert input. Oliver Raleigh, the creator of the podcast's theme song, plays a pivotal role in settling a long-standing debate between a caller and her husband.

First Call: Valerie's Dog Attraction Dilemma

Timestamp: [04:38] - [16:55]

Caller: Valerie from Brooklyn

Issue: Valerie notices that many women are approaching her dog with what she perceives as lustful intentions. Instead of the usual compliments about her pet's cuteness, these interactions carry a "lusty type of energy," leaving her unsure how to respond appropriately.

Discussion Highlights:

• Valerie's Experiences:
  Valerie recounts instances at the dog park and the vet where women compared her dog's physique to that of a "sexy sports car," making her feel uncomfortable and uncertain about how to handle these interactions.

  Valerie: "I keep moving. But people have been coming at my dog with this, like, lusty type of energy that I really just don't know how to respond to me."
  [06:18]

• Hosts' Reactions:
  Jake and Gareth express surprise and amusement at the unusual nature of Valerie's problem, humorously debating whether it stems from the dog's appearance or possible underlying issues.

  Jamie Loftus: "Wait, is this real life? You feel like women are sexually attracted to your dog?"
  [06:24]

• Advice Given:
  The hosts brainstorm creative solutions to deter unwanted attention:

  1. Custom Dog Apparel:
     Suggesting shirts with messages like "I'm a dog, you're a lady. Relax" to clearly signal boundaries.

     Jamie Loftus: "How about a shirt that you wear that says stop staring at my dog. You're weird."
     [15:27]

  2. Behavioral Strategies:
     Playing loud, non-intrusive music at specific times to divert attention away from the dog.

     Gareth Reynolds: "Play 'Everybody's Working for the Weekend' on repeat."
     [15:02]

  3. Public Messaging:
     Creating a playful yet direct message throughyard signs to communicate discomfort with the attention.

     Gareth Reynolds: "You're a dog, you're a lady. Relax."
     [15:43]

Outcome:
Valerie embraces the idea of custom apparel for her dog, finding it a humorous and effective way to address the situation. The hosts agree to help by crafting the suggested shirts and request Valerie to provide feedback after implementing the solution.

Second Call: Valerie's Theme Song Disagreement

Timestamp: [23:25] - [33:22]

Issue: Valerie and her husband are embroiled in a year-long debate over whether the podcast's theme song, "We're Here to Help," contains actual lyrics or if Valerie's perception is the result of her imagination.

Discussion Highlights:

• Valerie's Perspective:
  Valerie firmly believes that the theme song has clear lyrics, specifically the phrase "We're here to help." Her husband argues that the catchy tune is causing her brain to insert words that aren't present in the music.

  Valerie: "I have been obsessed with your song, and I would sing it. We're here to help."
  [25:03]

• Hosts' Intervention:
  Oliver Raleigh joins the conversation to clarify the creation of the theme song, revealing that every word Valerie hears is indeed intentional and not a product of her imagination.

  Oliver Raleigh: "I fully said every single word and then made chords out of it. And then that's what you're hearing."
  [31:08]

• Emotional Undertones:
  The discussion touches on deeper relationship dynamics, with Valerie expressing feelings of being almost never right and bad at listening—traits she struggles with in her marriage.

  Valerie: "I'm hardly ever right. I'm hardly ever right and I'm a bad listener."
  [27:21]

• Resolution:
  Oliver provides a transparent explanation of the theme song's production, affirming Valerie's accuracy and ending the debate. Valerie appreciates the clarification, expressing relief and gratitude toward the hosts.

Notable Quotes:

• Oliver Raleigh: "Yes, this is something I've been thinking about a lot. Like, I almost don't want to answer, to be honest. Look, this is the thing. It's been like, it seems like it's been a hot debate amongst several couples."

  [26:00]

• Valerie: "I feel like he's so right, I've never related to a caller harder."

  [31:22]

• Oliver Raleigh: "This is fully worth it. You are right. And I want you to sit in that knowledge tonight and look at your husband knowing that you are right."

  [31:51]

Outcome:
The episode concludes with Valerie and her husband likely gaining a better understanding of the theme song's composition, thanks to Oliver Raleigh's disclosure. The hosts highlight the importance of clear communication and validate Valerie's perspective, strengthening the listener relationship.

Additional Content: Connor's Call and Parkanting

Timestamp: [38:05] - [61:42]

Caller: Connor from Grand Rapids, Michigan

Issue: Connor shares his ongoing challenges with neighbors, specifically his experience with his neighbor's daughter practicing the clarinet incessantly, disrupting his work-from-home routine. He also touches on issues with his neighbor's father, who has temper issues and monitors his property with multiple ring cameras.

Discussion Highlights:

• Neighborly Conflicts:
  Connor describes how the neighbor's daughter is repetitively practicing the clarinet, leading to noise disturbances. Additionally, tensions arise from the father's erratic behavior and surveillance practices.

  Connor: "She was just blowing air into the yard and there's nothing coming out of it."
  [40:15]

• Hosts' Advice:
  Gareth and the team offer creative yet tongue-in-cheek solutions to mitigate the disturbances:

  1. Fake Petitions:
     Creating a fabricated petition with fictitious signatures to protest the clarinet practice.

     Gareth Reynolds: "Make a sheet with 1 through 20... petition to stop your daughter playing clarinet in the yard."
     [49:45]

  2. Counter-Messaging:
     Utilizing humorous signs like "Stop Staring at My Dog" to diffuse unwanted attention.

     Jamie Loftus: "Shirt on the dog that says you're it. Your thoughts about me are weird."
     [15:36]

  3. Sound Warfare:
     Repeating disruptive music to compete with the clarinet noise, such as playing "Working for the Weekend."

     Gareth Reynolds: "Play 'Everybody's Working for the Weekend' on repeat."
     [15:02]

• Humorous Elements:
  The hosts engage in playful banter, suggesting over-the-top measures like dressing in disguises or using stinky distractions to deter the neighbor's activities.

  Gareth Reynolds: "Wear a Richard Nixon mask, and then just get back in the car."
  [50:48]

Notable Quotes:

• Connor: "It's a very dog coded for your daughter. But it's weird."

  [40:18]

• Gareth Reynolds: "If you're going to injure them with multiple ring cameras, you're just like, what is this?"

  [51:04]

• Jamie Loftus: "How about a shirt that you wear that says stop staring at my dog. You're weird."

  [15:27]

Outcome:
While the advice is delivered with humor and exaggeration, it underscores the importance of setting boundaries and addressing neighborly conflicts creatively. Connor is encouraged to consider passive-aggressive yet humorous tactics to alleviate his situation without escalating tensions further.

Conclusion

Episode 130 of "We're Here to Help" masterfully blends humor with genuine advice, addressing both lighthearted and more personal listener challenges. Valerie's unique situation with her dog and the subsequent marital debate over the theme song provide a mix of comedic and heartfelt moments, while Connor's neighborly woes add another layer of relatable content. The inclusion of Oliver Raleigh not only resolves a significant listener's dispute but also enriches the podcast's community feel. Overall, the episode reinforces the show's commitment to offering the best advice possible, no matter how unconventional the problems may be.

Notable Quotes:

• Valerie: "I'm a teacher. Well, the wrong teacher. Amazing."

  [29:02]

• Oliver Raleigh: "I never related to a caller harder."

  [31:22]

• Gareth Reynolds: "You are right. And I want you to sit in that knowledge tonight and look at your husband knowing that you are right."

  [31:39]

Disclaimer: All advice provided in this episode is for entertainment purposes only. Listeners should make their own decisions based on their unique circumstances.