137: You Think I Got a Perm AND a Convertible? (with Steve Berg)

Summary

Podcast Summary: We're Here to Help – Episode 137: You Think I Got a Perm AND a Convertible? (with Steve Berg)

Release Date: December 5, 2024

---

Overview

In Episode 137 of We're Here to Help, hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds, the duo tackles listener questions ranging from the quirky to the heartfelt. This episode features a special guest appearance by Steve Berg and dives into creative solutions for celebrating personal milestones. The primary focus revolves around a caller seeking unique ways to honor her husband's achievement in traditional karate, while a follow-up call adds an amusing twist to their advisory endeavors.

---

Caller: Gabby's Celebration Conundrum

[08:35] Stephen Burr:
“Hi. Welcome to the show. We're here to help.”

Gabby, a pastry chef from upstate New York, reaches out seeking unconventional ideas to celebrate her husband's impending black belt in traditional karate. She expresses a desire to move beyond the typical party setup, aiming for a celebration that is both funny and memorable.

[09:24] Gabby:
"What I want is to celebrate him in a funny, weird way that would make him laugh."

---

Hosts' Creative Pitches

1. Themed Karate Party

[11:00] Stephen Burr:
"Okay, so he's about to be a black belt in tradition, and you're wondering what is a fun way to celebrate this man's accomplishments?"

The hosts brainstorm a karate-themed party where guests dress as iconic bad guys from Karate Kid. The idea includes live demonstrations showcasing the honoree's skills through kicks, punches, and throws, providing both entertainment and a personalized touch to the celebration.

2. Karate Kid Montage Recreation

[12:11] Jake Johnson:
"What about if you just take your phone and you do a shot-for-shot recreation of a montage from the Karate Kid with him, and that'll probably be very easy to edit together with a Karate Kid song."

This suggestion involves creating a video montage mimicking famous scenes from Karate Kid, set to the classic soundtrack, offering a nostalgic and humorous homage to the master's journey.

3. Heroic Surprise Invasion

[12:48] Stephen Burr:
"What if you're having a party and a group of bad guys break into the party and you need a black belt to save the day, because that's what karate is."

Proposing a live-action surprise where actors play the role of antagonists, prompting the black belt achiever to demonstrate his prowess in a staged "rescue" scenario, adding an exciting and interactive element to the festivities.

---

Collaborative Ideas Involving Gabby's Pastry Expertise

Jake’s Pastry Concept

[17:01] Jake Johnson:
"We have to make a big pastry of him for the party. Everything else is just like a big surprise karate birthday at your house."

Given Gabby's profession as a pastry chef, Jake suggests leveraging her skills to craft a life-sized pastry likeness of her husband, integrating it into the party as a centerpiece that blends her culinary talents with the karate theme.

Stephen’s Augmented Idea

[17:06] Stephen Burr:
"All right, Gabby, what would Jack like at his black belt party?"
[17:17] Stephen Burr:
"Oh, like a toddler sized pastry."

Stephen expands on the pastry idea, envisioning a gigantic, detailed pastry representation of the honoree performing his signature move, enhancing both the visual appeal and the personal significance of the celebration.

Final Collaborative Plan

[38:32] Steve Berg:
"Yeah, the hard way. Coming right up."
[38:33] Stephen Burr:
"We're putting your things in a secret menu for him, making it a personalized joke that aligns with his unique requests."

The team finalizes a plan where Gabby orchestrates a surprise party featuring a custom-made pastry version of her husband, complemented by a personalized joke menu. This approach not only showcases her baking prowess but also injects humor and individuality into the celebration.

---

Follow-Up Call: Costello’s Organized Fun Adventure

[45:49] Stephen Burr:
"This is a follow-up, but we don't know what the follow-up is, so could you take over, remind us what your call was, remind us what our pitch was and then let us know what's happening."

Costello joins the conversation to update the hosts on their previous advice regarding organized fun during a Segway tour in Chicago. The outcome deviates humorously from the intended advice due to Steve Berg inadvertently overshadowing the original guidance by burning his chicken.

[46:26] Costello:
"Your advice was to say that I had vertigo and so that would be our way to get out of it."

The discussion reveals that while the original intent was to use humor to navigate social activities, unforeseen circumstances led to an entertaining but unintended experience, highlighting the unpredictability of seeking unconventional advice.

---

Key Takeaways and Conclusions

• Embracing Creativity: The episode underscores the importance of thinking outside the box when celebrating significant personal achievements, blending personal talents with beloved themes for a meaningful celebration.

• Collaboration is Key: Leveraging each other's strengths, like Gabby's pastry skills, can lead to unique and memorable solutions that resonate personally with the honoree.

• Flexibility in Advice: The follow-up call with Costello humorously illustrates that while creative advice can be beneficial, it's essential to remain adaptable as real-life scenarios may diverge from planned outcomes.

Notable Quotes:

• Gabby on Celebrating Uniquely:
  "[09:24] Gabby: [...] I want to celebrate him in a funny, weird way that would make him laugh."

• Stephen on the Pastry Idea:
  "[17:06] Stephen Burr: [...] make a life-size version of him as a pastry."

• Costello Reflecting on the Follow-Up:
  "[50:25] Stephen Burr: [...] I'm glad you guys had fun in the beautiful city of Chicago."

---

This episode of We're Here to Help masterfully combines humor, creativity, and practical advice, ensuring listeners are both entertained and inspired to approach their own life challenges with a fresh perspective.

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

Lights are going up, snow is falling down. There's a feeling of goodwill around town. It could only mean one thing. McRib is here. People throwing parties, ugly sweaters everywhere. Stockings hung up by the chimney with care. It could only mean one thing.

[LinkedIn Advertiser]

McRib is here at ParticipatingMcD for a limited time. Are you struggling to close deals? Cold outreach is wasting the time of both the buyer and seller at every stage, especially when sellers are using shallow and outdated data. Your organization can overcome these challenges with technology that translates comprehensive high quality buyer data into real time insights. These deeper insights empower sales reps and teams to adopt the habits of top performers, which leads to better outcomes like more pipeline, higher win rates and larger deals. We call this deep sales and we've built the first deep sales platform with the next generation of LinkedIn Sales Navigator. Right now you can try LinkedIn Sales Navigator and get a 60 day free [e-mail] trial. That's LinkedIn.com trial for a 60 day free trial. Let LinkedIn Sales Navigator help you sell like a superstar today. Just go to LinkedIn.com trial and get started.

[Stephen Burr]

Oh, we are back everybody. We are back with High Strangeness. The host of high strangeness, Mr. Stephen Burr.

[Steve Berg]

Hey, how are you?

[Kevin Bartelt]

Fan favorite.

[Steve Berg]

Everyone stop.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Everyone loves your episodes.

[Steve Berg]

Well, that's, that's adorable. That makes me feel good about myself. I have a very low self esteem so I could always use the.

[Stephen Burr]

Do you think that's true, Stephen?

[Steve Berg]

No, I don't. I'm trying to be charming in midwest but no, I am a folksy guy but I have a healthy ego. Boy, Jake, I didn't tell you this, but I had a very interesting conversation today with my friend, with my good friend Jessica Napic. She is a fellow weirdo in the weird paranormal realm and she was telling me she just had a great conversation with a pet psychic, right? And she is a lover of dogs, has a dog, you know, there she is a co pilot. And so she's like, well, how can I be a better owner? And she goes, the number one complaint from all dogs and cats, this pet psychic said, is that the owners don't change the water enough. And it got me thinking. It's like, you know, this is true, this number one complaint of dogs and cats, that we don't change the water enough. Once a day isn't enough. We need to do it in the morning, the evening. And if you think about it like this, you ever like had a cup of too many to drink and maybe take a glass of water to Bed with you?

[Stephen Burr]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

Then the next morning you drink that water, it's all stank ass. It sucks. There's like lint in it. It has like a. It tastes like someone dropped a handful of nickels in there. It's awful. So, I mean, to the. This is, this is free advice is the first one's free, the next one's going to cost you. But if you guys have fur babies out there, change that water. Morning and eating. Don't be a jerk.

[Stephen Burr]

No, I don't want to hear this, Stephen. I don't want to hear you say it could be or could not be. I don't know. What's your real opinion on pet psychics? I've never real.

[Steve Berg]

I've never met one. Okay, so I went to a qualifier. Sure. Yeah. I think there's something to it.

[Stephen Burr]

You do? Yeah. You think a woman or a man can communicate with pets and get some vibration and she heard from that fucking little dog. My number one complaint in the whole wide world is not that I have to hold my dump while you're at work. I can't piss inside. Or you rub my face in it. My number one complaint, I get to communicate with one person. Here's what it is. Change my water.

[Steve Berg]

I mean, I don't make the rules. This is what they're saying to the psychic.

[Kevin Bartelt]

It's not that the psychic walked in, saw a water bowl and went. They're upset about that.

[Stephen Burr]

Or guessed. Yes. How about this as a complaint? When we go for walks, can you quit pulling my neck? Well, if you smell in a dump.

[Steve Berg]

Look, if you guys were paying attention, she was saying this as like a survey. Like she has talked to multiple clients because she said the number one complaint from dogs and cats. So it wasn't just like a one time deal. They didn't see a guess. What do you think she's been asking dogs and cats from all over the world? I mean, she might have pulled 300 different animals at this point.

[Stephen Burr]

So you got two beautiful cats, Steven.

[Steve Berg]

I do. David and Stephen. Stephen Jr. Stephen. Named after myself.

[Stephen Burr]

What do you think their complaints would be?

[Steve Berg]

Well, I think it was the water bowl until I started doing two days. And now they're happy as claims. What is their biggest complaint?

[Stephen Burr]

Probably I got one from them. What, you never let them outside? They're in prison.

[Steve Berg]

Well, I want them to live forever.

[Stephen Burr]

I understand you want the number one complaint. I would like to go outside one time in my life. I'd like to smell the grass. I'd like to see a bird. I'D like to catch a mouse outside, but this fucking guy keeps me inside. It's a prison. I'm in a prison.

[Steve Berg]

You might be right. Okay. You might be right.

[Stephen Burr]

Second, you know, you don't complain about. Number one complaint from someone in prison is not the toilet bowl is dirty. The number one complaint is, get me out of this jail cell.

[Steve Berg]

You are poking a whole lot of holes, a lot of holes in this pet sidekick. I'm starting to rethink things.

[Stephen Burr]

Yeah. I mean, Kevin, you got that hedgehog.

[Kevin Bartelt]

But I will say to Steve's defense, it is a weird thing that I clock. I'm paranoid about his water. And so as much as I'm teasing you, I do, like a couple times a day go, like, I gotta make sure that water is. He's not. But with him, he gets the bedding in, though. He, like, kicks stuff into the water bowl. It's not like the water's stale, but.

[Stephen Burr]

What's your name? Kevin Clippy. What would Clippy's number one complaint be?

[Kevin Bartelt]

Probably that he's owned by me.

[Steve Berg]

Kevin. I think he'd be a sweet owner, by the way.

[Stephen Burr]

Same with both my dogs. He would go like, I think I'm fine. I like the woman, I like the kids. Can we get a different guy owner? Could his vibe change a little in his greetings? I think all number one complaint is gonna be from. From, like, space, I think your hedgehog. The number one thing is, I don't know if you let that guy run around when no one's around, but, like, yeah, he's like, I gotta live in this tiny little cage. I don't live out. I'm not a wild hedgehog. Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

What do I do?

[Stephen Burr]

I'm not living underground and just hedgehog and I'm in a jail cell. My dogs, their complaint is, I'm not in a pack of dogs just running around.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Yeah. Ripping.

[Stephen Burr]

Yeah, I got. I got Australia. Miniature Australian shepherd. You know what her complaint would be? I'm not shepherding. Yeah. I'm not. I'm not doing. My dog sits outside, stares out the window, just hoping a wolf comes around so she can bark at it.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Stephen Burr]

The lab is constantly looking around like, is there something I should do? It's like, just fucking eat a little pepperoni roll and sit on your ass. It's all you meant for now.

[Steve Berg]

I mean, you're a guy who's eating quite a bit, Jake. And I'm sure. I'm sure your dog's like, why don't you. Why do you get to eat all the time. Why do you get that burrito?

[Stephen Burr]

I think. Well, I think this, the gross reality is the reason they follow me around is just the spillage. Just when I can't shove the whole thing in my mouth enough, rice falls on the floor where they're like, this fucking guy's extras could feed a village. Watch that idiot try to eat chips. I'm going to eat an entire dinner.

[Steve Berg]

This is going to be a buffet. This guy's such a slob.

[Stephen Burr]

My wife's like, I don't know why they keep gaining weight. I'm so strict with them. And I'm like, I couldn't tell you either. In other news, I do no burritos. A lot of the rice I didn't get to eat, though. The dog's like, got him.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, God, I didn't.

[Stephen Burr]

We got a really fun episode, everybody. So we do without further, further ado.

[Gabby]

Hello.

[Stephen Burr]

Hi. Welcome to the show. We're here to help.

[Gabby]

How you doing?

[Stephen Burr]

We're doing great. How you doing?

[Gabby]

Fantastic. Fantastic. I'm Gabby.

[Stephen Burr]

Gabby. Where are you calling from, Gabby?

[Gabby]

I'm calling from upstate New York, Gabby.

[Stephen Burr]

From upstate. And what do you do for work, Gabby?

[Gabby]

Pastry chef.

[Stephen Burr]

Pastry chef. Love a pastry.

[Jake Johnson]

Love a pastry.

[Stephen Burr]

Gabby, if you were in the jungle and you looked behind you and there was an animal, what's that animal?

[Gabby]

Probably a python. Coming down, hanging down.

[Stephen Burr]

Fuck, yeah. Scary. So, Gabby, upstate pastry chef, scared of pythons and excited by them, what can we do for you?

[Gabby]

All right, so my husband. Well, my whole family, my little immediate family, we all take karate. Traditional karate?

[Stephen Burr]

Fuck yeah. Traditional is the only way to do it. What are you gonna do? Modern karate? Fuck off.

[Emerald]

I'm sorry we don't have a little.

[Stephen Burr]

Naked graveling, But I love tradition, by the way. Traditional karate.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, Jake, to quote you, let her cook.

[Stephen Burr]

Agreed. Fair.

[Steve Berg]

Fair.

[Stephen Burr]

I attacked. I attacked.

[Jake Johnson]

Let the pastry chef cook.

[Stephen Burr]

I agree. So you guys love traditional karate.

[Jake Johnson]

I can't let it go. Go ahead, Gabby.

[Gabby]

Unagi. So my husband will be testing for his black belt January 3rd.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, so he's way better than some of the other people on this call. Okay, shut up. So I'm just. Let us talk, Gabby a little. Let me talk to her. Okay. So your husband, like, does real competitions. He doesn't have a little, like, weird mannequin.

[Stephen Burr]

Shut up.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm talking to Gabby.

[Emerald]

He does the local ones that we have here.

[Jake Johnson]

But, yeah, yeah, exactly. Jake's strange. Okay, so keep going. So he's testing for his black belt. Way further ahead than some people go Ahead.

[Gabby]

I. Unlike other traditional wives, I'm not that great at present giving. Because he's just very a content person. He just wants to be hanging out and, you know, just being with each other, playing video games. If we could play Mario party with us every night, all like, that's something he would do with the kids. Okay, wonderful. But I want to celebrate him in a funny, weird way that would make him laugh.

[Stephen Burr]

Okay, so he's about to be a black belt in tradition, and you're wondering what is a fun way to celebrate this man's accomplishments? Because you, Gabby, are not the greatest of gift givers. And what do we. What's his name?

[Gabby]

Jack.

[Stephen Burr]

Jack. And Jack would just be happy hanging with the family playing video games. But you're thinking getting a black belt in traditional karate is a big deal? Big deal. We should do something fun to celebrate his accomplishment.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gabby]

I don't want to just have a boring party and have people, like, come over and eat chicken wings. Great. That sounds boring.

[Stephen Burr]

All right, I got a pick.

[Gabby]

Do something grand. All right, I'm here.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a blue skyer. What do you got?

[Stephen Burr]

Everybody dresses up in black karate geese. They are the bad guys from Karate Kid. And one by one, he does a demo to show how he would beat everybody at the party with a simple kick, punch, or toss.

[Gabby]

Well, what if most people are at the party are also from the dojo?

[Jake Johnson]

Off of that. I have a. I like that off of that. What about this? What about if you just take your phone and you do a shot for shot recreation of a montage from the Karate Kid with him, and that'll probably be very easy to edit together to a Karate Kid song. And you just have something like that play at a party for him.

[Gabby]

Okay. All right.

[Jake Johnson]

Feels like the board's not broken, so.

[Gabby]

He'D have to be in on it.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, that is the issue with my pitch.

[Stephen Burr]

But I like the idea of a surprise.

[Jake Johnson]

I do, too.

[Gabby]

I like surprise.

[Stephen Burr]

Yeah, I like the idea that he shows up to something. I mean, here's a crazy pitch, and I don't really have an end to it. But what if you're having a party and a group of bad guys break into the party and you need a black belt to save the day, because that's what karate is. Not for trophies.

[Jake Johnson]

Why not do that, but bring him in on it so it's like a performance at his party?

[Gabby]

Okay, I see.

[Costello]

I see where you're going.

[Jake Johnson]

Does that ruin it? I just feel like bunch of people. Bunch of people showing up. He has to fight them could get hairy.

[Gabby]

Because there might be a lot of injuries.

[Stephen Burr]

So, Gabby, give us some help here. What do you kind of think? Where's. Where's your. Where's your heart at? Where is it? What belt are you, by the way?

[Gabby]

Oh, I'm only a blue belt. I'm only a blue belt. My kids are a higher belt than I am.

[Jake Johnson]

What are you, Jake? Are you a belt?

[Stephen Burr]

Shut up.

[Costello]

He doesn't even wear one.

[Gabby]

He goes there, bare bones. It's fine.

[Stephen Burr]

Gabby gets it. I'll tell you how I do my martial arts. A pair of fucking boxer briefs and nada else, man.

[Jake Johnson]

It's crazy. You acted like that's a tough guy thing to say.

[Stephen Burr]

That's a crazy thing to say. Motherfucking Parliament Light.

[Jake Johnson]

That's like the last thing a guy says before getting thrown out of a bar.

[Stephen Burr]

Nope. I'll tell you how I do my martial arts. A pair of Crocs and boxer briefs. A parlor and a coldie in my hands.

[Jake Johnson]

Crazy.

[Stephen Burr]

Three bowls of chili in my stomach.

[Jake Johnson]

That's not dangerous.

[Stephen Burr]

Well, because the first. Yeah, it tasted so good, I had the second one. Then the third one was a challenge. I won eight bucks. Back to you, Gabby. What do you think Jack would want for this part? Is that a enormous new tattoo on your arm, Gareth?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. Yes, it is.

[Stephen Burr]

Are you getting tattoos post.

[Emerald]

Oh, my God.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm not. Fifth? No. First of all, no.

[Stephen Burr]

Is this a.

[Jake Johnson]

Are you going to get a. I'm not. I'm not.

[Emerald]

I'm.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm.

[Stephen Burr]

You've. This year you got a perm and a tattoo. Are you not getting perm?

[Jake Johnson]

I did not get a. There's no perm. There's no perm. That's very good.

[Stephen Burr]

Did you get a convertible?

[Jake Johnson]

You think I'm going to get a perm and a convertible?

[Stephen Burr]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You could not sound more. You don't get perm or convertible, by the way.

[Stephen Burr]

You're.

[Jake Johnson]

Who the fuck is going to. You wasted your perm. If you get a convertible, may as well throw that perm cash out really fast.

[Stephen Burr]

What is that tattoo? What do we got?

[Jake Johnson]

My. My dog. My dog. The dog I took care of part time last. That died like a year and a half ago.

[Stephen Burr]

How long did you have that dog?

[Jake Johnson]

It was my friend's dog. I took care of it about six months. One year. And then on and off, like for two, three years.

[Stephen Burr]

Gotcha.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Stephen Burr]

So, Gabby, what would Jack like at his black belt party?

[Gabby]

I just think some kind of adventure. I don't know if it has to be a party or like we take him to do something. What. What have you guys. My question to you would be, have you been celebrated in a way in your lives that was super exciting for you that you always remember?

[Jake Johnson]

Maybe it wasn't necessarily, to be quite honest with you. No, no, no. If I'm being honest, my birthday was a week ago and my dad forgot. So I'll be honest with you, my.

[Stephen Burr]

Dad forgot my 40th.

[Jake Johnson]

My dad never literally remembers my birthday and has not for, I'd say 15 years.

[Stephen Burr]

Mine was really good. Mine felt bad after.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. So you're probably not talking to the two best guys for an epic thing. Let me ask you this. Does he have a eye for adventure? If you surprised him with an adventure, would he like that?

[Gabby]

Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

[Jake Johnson]

What if you take him skydiving in his gi?

[Stephen Burr]

Or what if you take him to Japan?

[Emerald]

Oh, wow.

[Stephen Burr]

And go where? Go where karate first began?

[Emerald]

I would love that.

[Gabby]

We're not working with spider man money though.

[Stephen Burr]

Respect.

[Jake Johnson]

Are you asking if Jake wants to pay for it?

[Stephen Burr]

I love it.

[Emerald]

I just told you.

[Gabby]

I'm a pastry chef. I make cookies.

[Stephen Burr]

Oh, I got one.

[Jake Johnson]

I love you for that.

[Stephen Burr]

Make it huge pastry.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Stephen Burr]

Of him in his ghee with a black belt on the biggest pastry you have ever made. It is a big surprise at the party. Everybody then goes and I'm talking about like a 40 pound motherfucking pastry.

[Gabby]

Oh, like a toddler sized pastry.

[Stephen Burr]

Yeah, A huge. The biggest you could do with him in the air doing his signature move. So if he's got a nice high jump kick or a head kick anywhere thing that his legs are nice and spread and his arms are reached out so you can go like and get a great photo of him and then make it into a pastry. You have a regular old party with Karate Kid playing. Everybody's having a good time. All 80s rock and roll playing in the background. And then the big surprise is you bring out, if you can do it, a life size version of him as a pastry.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, I got it.

[Gabby]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, I love. I love all. I would say why not theme at Cobra Kai. Ish. Right. He can you dress him up and I love that. And another thing I think you could do is at the pace at the. Do you have a brick and mortar shop where you sell pastries?

[Gabby]

I don't. We converted. My are crazy person. Our basement is a commercial kitchen for me.

[Stephen Burr]

That's crazy. I love that.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. I was going to say make little jack cookies, but I think Jake's pitch of making A big pastry of him for the party is good. I mean, we're just basically talking about a surprise karate birthday at your house. At your house. Yes.

[Stephen Burr]

And so everything is dec. What's the biggest pastry you could make, Gabby?

[Gabby]

I don't. Never been challenged something like that. Probably pretty large. A few feet at least. I've made displays pretty large.

[Stephen Burr]

I would say throw him a surprise party that he does not know about. I would say make it very karate themed, where everything's black belt, everybody's got to be in some version of a ghee or something like that, and the food is his favorite food. But I would not tell him the party's going to come because the big thing is then the surprise and then the big reveal is you have spent time and effort into making a big old pastry of him that everybody gets to eat. I think that's pretty nice. What do you think, Gabby?

[Gabby]

It's pretty nice. It's pretty. I will say, yeah, that is pretty par for the course for me.

[Stephen Burr]

Okay.

[Gabby]

Because that's what I do, But I could do that.

[Stephen Burr]

All right, Gabby, what do you think then?

[Gabby]

I was thinking more along the lines of adventure. And if you guys have done wacky things before.

[Stephen Burr]

I said Japan. You told me you didn't have Spider Man. That's an adventure.

[Jake Johnson]

You're not wrong.

[Stephen Burr]

How about this? Dig a hole in a forest preserve.

[Gabby]

And why not put his skills to the test?

[Jake Johnson]

Why not Skills? Here's another thing you could do. You could take him on a hike. You could get him to a mountaintop, and you could have him do some shadow boxing on a mountaintop for his birthday.

[Stephen Burr]

What if you got a mannequin, a bunch of mannequins, put him in geese, and he had to beat up all of them in order to enter the party.

[Jake Johnson]

And then you make a pastry of you at the end. So he gets the pastry girl and he gets to. I'm pushing it.

[Gabby]

I like that. He gets the pastry girl and I'm. And it doesn't have to be me.

[Stephen Burr]

Interesting turn of events.

[Jake Johnson]

It's interesting opening the marriage up to pastry cheetah. Yeah. I mean, we've pitched. I think we've pitched our lights out. I think Jake's right. We're not going to get a black belt on this one. But I don't have one in jiu jitsu. Yeah, no, Jake just. I mean, again, listen, it's nice that he has someone supporting his martial art.

[Stephen Burr]

Because that'd be nice, because I know.

[Jake Johnson]

Somebody who doesn't support me.

[Stephen Burr]

I know somebody who doesn't support looks.

[Jake Johnson]

Like a porn locker room.

[Stephen Burr]

It'd be really nice if I had a Gabby on one of these calls, but I don't.

[Emerald]

I don't.

[Gabby]

Just get Garrett now. You got your wheel going for when Jake will inevitably get his black belt.

[Jake Johnson]

I have 40 years on that one.

[Stephen Burr]

I'd love a big fat pastry.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, there you go.

[Gabby]

We'll send it.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, Gabby, good luck.

[Emerald]

Thanks, guys.

[Stephen Burr]

This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile. To get started, go to mintmobile.com heretohelp there you'll see that right now all three month plans are only $15 a month, including the unlimited plan. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. You can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all your existing contacts. Find out just how easy it is to switch to Mint mobile and get three months of your premium wireless service for just 15 bucks a month.

[Jake Johnson]

To get this new customer offer and your three month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com heretohelp that's mintmobile.com heretohelp Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mint mobile.com hereto help. $45 upfront payment required. Equivalent to $15 a month new customers on first three month plan only speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. C Mint Mobile for details and we are brought to you by Uncommon Goods. Listen, you want to spark something uncommon this holiday season? Do it with the right gift from Uncommon Goods. Now, if you haven't finished your holiday shopping yet, do not lose your mind. Don't go running into the streets, breaking windows and just punching strangers and things like that. Just go to uncommongoods.com they have tons of amazing products from there. I'm not going to lie. I got a sweater with dogs on it. But they have so much more stuff. You can go there and you could just. It really is an amazing place to source a bunch of things. It feels like you're going through Indiana Jones's library. There's just tons of things and you're supporting small independent businesses. When you go to uncommongoods.com Many of their handcrafted products are made in small batches. So don't wait around and be like, I'll come back tomorrow and get, get it now. Uncommon Goods looks for their products. Then make sure they're high quality, unique, handmade, made in the USA they have the most meaningful out of the ordinary gifts anywhere. Whether it's the holiday host or hostesses gifts or cool finds for kids like Kevin has five Kids or hits for book lovers, Die hard sports fans, whatever it is, go to uncommongoods.com and with every purchase you make at Uncommon Goods, they give back $1 to a nonprofit partner of your choice. They've donated more than $3 million to date. Mom, are you there? Yes, I'm doing an ad for Uncommon Goods. Do you like their products? I'll call you back. So go to UncommonGoods.com do it.

[Stephen Burr]

To get 15% off of your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com heretohelp. That's UncommonGoods.com HereToHelp for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer. Uncommon Goods. We're all out of the order.

[Jake Johnson]

All right. And we are brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace. Listen, we're here to solve problems, and Squarespace helps us. The problem solvers also solve problems. Despite being really easy to use and very user friendly. Despite the fact that Kevin and I both have our personal websites used by the Squarespace template. Again, makes it look very professional. We also have Squarespace step in like a great bench player on the here to help basketball team. I'm pushing it. They, they have helped us make websites for problems that we needed to solve. When people need something to promote them or corroborate a fib, because, look, sometimes you got to get in the dirt. You got to muck it up a little bit. Squarespace helps us with that.

[Kevin Bartelt]

It is shocking how many problems you can solve with a convincing website.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, we, I honestly, dare I call it a crutch eventually, because we would go like, we could just make you a website and we would just make them a website. Yeah, I mean, it. It really is. You could make it for whatever, but also your business. It doesn't always have to be for nefarious activities. They have design, intelligence, Squarespace payments, connect social and multimedia accounts. Invoicing, you could sell your content, SEO tools. Truly, the list goes on and on. We love Squarespace. Squarespace loves us. I've been told. I haven't actually had contact with them. They don't return emails. Some of them bounce back, which is buddy. But join the Squarespace movement people.

[Stephen Burr]

Head to squarespace.com Gil sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code.

[Steve Berg]

Gil, Hello. Hey, how are you doing? This is Steve Berg subbing in for Gareth Reynolds and I got my boy Jaco Johnson here.

[Stephen Burr]

And you got Shark and the Shark.

[Steve Berg]

We are here to help you today, friend.

[Stephen Burr]

Wait, hold. I got to say, what is your first name?

[Emerald]

Oh, my gosh. Twizzler. Okay, hold on.

[Stephen Burr]

Twizzler.

[Steve Berg]

Yay.

[Stephen Burr]

Twizzler.

[Steve Berg]

No.

[Stephen Burr]

Twizzler. No.

[Steve Berg]

Give Twizzler a treat, quick.

[Stephen Burr]

By the way, Twizzler is a great name. If that dog gets violent. Stop biting.

[Steve Berg]

Twizzler.

[Stephen Burr]

Stop.

[Steve Berg]

That's the kind of name it's really hard to make sound aggressive. Twizzler. No, back off.

[Stephen Burr]

Twizzler's in the house. So can we get Twizzler's mother's name, please?

[Emerald]

Yes, my name is Emerald.

[Stephen Burr]

Emerald and Emerald. I think this is Kevin. Is this true? This is probably around our 300th call or something.

[LinkedIn Advertiser]

Probably, yeah.

[Stephen Burr]

This is the first time somebody started screaming, either Kevin or Shark. Yeah. We have hit the pinnacle, folks. When a caller starts and goes, shark. Twizzler.

[Jake Johnson]

No, Twizzler.

[Stephen Burr]

No.

[Steve Berg]

High energy right off the bat.

[Stephen Burr]

I love it. That's it. All right. So, Emerald, where are you and Twizzler calling from?

[Emerald]

We are in Nebraska. Omaha, Nebraska.

[Steve Berg]

So I am in. That's crazy. I am in Omaha, Nebraska, right now, my friend.

[Emerald]

That's crazy.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Stephen Burr]

Emerald from Nebraska, near the Bergman. Into the Shark. What can we do for you?

[Emerald]

Okay, so I am calling because at work, I. Okay, so I. One of my jobs is I work at a restaurant. And we have a. We're a smaller scratch kitchen. So a lot of our customers are regulars that we know by name. And one of them, everybody on the staff knows him by name. And the way that our restaurant is set up is when you walk up to the register to order, you can see everybody in the kitchen. Like it's an open kitchen soup. Everybody sees everybody and everything.

[Steve Berg]

And very hip.

[Emerald]

This one regular. Yeah, this one regular, he is a lawyer, and he literally has his own law firm and everything. I think he even used to be a federal investigator. But anyway, either guy, anyway, he always comes in wearing like a three piece suit. Looks like he just walked out of court. And he always orders food to go because he always takes it back to his office because he's always working whatever and for to go orders. Whenever we're bagging up the orders, we ask him if they want napkins, utensils, ketchup in their bags. And his response every single time. Well, I should. I should say he is a really big fan of our soup because our chef makes all of the Soup, homemade from scratch, and it's delicious. And he always orders a bunch of soup to go. And we're in soup season right now. And his response every single time when we ask him if he wants napkins or utensils is, he goes, nope, just gonna raw dog it.

[Steve Berg]

And just gonna what it?

[Stephen Burr]

Raw dog it. Raw dog a cup of soup.

[Steve Berg]

We're sick people here.

[Emerald]

And when he does this, he makes the, like, chef throw up. Like he's drinking. Like he's drinking it out of a container.

[Stephen Burr]

And he does, like, the hand motion. Like, I just. He's doing, like, it's a cup of coffee. He's doing space.

[Emerald]

Yeah, exactly.

[Stephen Burr]

And he goes, no, I don't need that, but let me grab. Let me open this cupboard and grab some salt.

[Emerald]

And we all know he's gonna say this because he says it every single time without fail. And he says it like. Like, no, thanks to have some at the office is like this. The tone that he says it in. And we all just wait until he leaves, and we all just crack up about it and joke about it after he leaves. And so that was what he was doing before. And recently he's graduated to saying, like, other weird stuff with a completely street face.

[Steve Berg]

Such as, example, please.

[Emerald]

Yeah, so he. One time recently, he came in and he walked up to our pickup counter, and he's leaned in, looking over his shoulder, like, hunched down, like about to trade state secrets or something. I was like, what? And what are you doing? And he goes, you know what I'm here for. I need some love, and I need it in my throat, referring to our spiral sandwich. So he just says weird things. But I genuinely think that he doesn't think about the things that he's saying because he's really book smart. And I just don't think he's street smart. So my question is, do I specifically, it's about the raw dogging soup. Do I address it with him and how do I do that?

[Stephen Burr]

How old is this gentleman?

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, it's a great question, because if.

[Stephen Burr]

You'Re saying 70, it's very different than 31.

[Emerald]

No, he's like, probably mid-40s. He's starting to go a little gray up top. But he's very energetic, very fun.

[Stephen Burr]

He knows what he's doing.

[Steve Berg]

He knows exactly what he's saying, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I mean, like, he. He.

[Stephen Burr]

He's.

[Steve Berg]

He doesn't. Yeah, he doesn't have street start smarts in the sense that he doesn't know what it's Appropriate or not, like he doesn't understand boundaries.

[Stephen Burr]

Yes. But, Emerald, is there any part of you or anybody in that staff that feels unsafe or uncomfortable with this guy, or is it more a gag and we want to figure out how to. With him?

[Emerald]

Yes, exactly that. Exactly. And I have the kind of. I'm the front of house manager where I'm very customer facing and I can get along with people really easily and kind of like bond with them and I know their names and whatever. And so I'm. I have a little bit of, like, more of a jokey side with people, with our customers. So I feel like I could totally.

[Stephen Burr]

I get it. It makes perfect sense to me. So just. We just wanted to clarify that a little bit. But now we're in the same zone.

[Emerald]

Yeah.

[Stephen Burr]

So we all love him.

[Emerald]

He's great.

[Stephen Burr]

What if we led out with something to out weird. The weird guy in that. He. He goes like, you know, he's looking around, he's like, can I get some of that soup? And you go, want me to shovel it right in your ass? Right. Or you go, you got a soup and you get like a big, like, turkey baster, and you go like this. Any interest in me putting this in between your butt cheeks and just getting it in there fast or you want to raw dog it through the mouth? Big daddy, what are you thinking?

[Steve Berg]

I was, I was. I was thinking.

[Stephen Burr]

Not Big Daddy.

[Steve Berg]

That. Yeah, that I. I love all that. I love, like, leading out with the kind of being the aggressor. You could also do something like that where he says that you go, oh, sir, I'm gonna have to cancel that order. Like you're fake canceling him. And then you go, just kidding. Then when you hand him the soup, you wrap it in, like, a comedically large amount of plastic wrap. So it's like you're putting like 100 condoms on it. So it becomes really hard to eat. He's like, I'm sorry. He's like, God dang it.

[Stephen Burr]

I have to, like, you can swear, say, we're not on Disney do fun.

[Steve Berg]

But. But I think, I mean, you know, making it super hard for him to get to. And if he.

[Stephen Burr]

If over wrap is fun.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Stephen Burr]

You know, you could also do. If you don't want to do. I mean, one thing you could do, you could keep a straight face with this where you could just ask if he goes like, can I get some soup? And you go for the mouth of the butt and say it like you're a little distracted. Where he goes, what? And he Goes, are you putting this in your mouth hole or your butthole, my man?

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Stephen Burr]

I, I do like. I do like where Steve is going with this idea of an overwrap. There's something you could do, like, you could put like 50 peppers in his bag.

[Steve Berg]

I was gonna say you could, like, you could put whatever the soup item is, like, in an oversized bag, fill it up with, like, peppers, salts, extra napkins, forks. A waste of materials. Hopefully they'll get the joke and give them back to you. We don't want to waste plastic, but.

[Stephen Burr]

I think that would be easy with the messaging. Steve, nobody's listening to this, going like, geez, I really learned a lot about Steve, about how to be more eco friendly.

[Steve Berg]

You go, I'm hopping on a boat for Greenpeace later today, so.

[Stephen Burr]

And by a boat, I mean standing in front of Trader Joe's and trying to raise some money.

[Steve Berg]

It's more of a sushi boat.

[Emerald]

Have you had. Have you had Trader Joe's new maple sea salt Kelly corn? Because it's fire.

[Steve Berg]

I bet it is. Everything from there, they do great work.

[Emerald]

Oh, it's so good.

[Stephen Burr]

And so what do you think, Emerald, about these early pitches? That is lead out with something weird or make his bag weird over wrap stuff? Make things a challenge. Tape his soup closed with duct tape.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Emerald]

So I for sure love the idea of, like, out weirding him because I think he'll just think it's hilarious. And I should also say that he has a co worker that comes in sometimes with him, but more often than not, they come in at different times. And we'll call them Abbott and Costello. I don't actually know who they are, but I love arrivals, so.

[Steve Berg]

Right.

[Emerald]

That's where I know the reference from. But anyway, so we'll talk about Costello. So he does have a co worker that comes in often. We'll call the co worker Abbott and the main guy, Costello. And so I was wondering if I, like, bring it up to Abbott somehow and be like, does Costello realize the things that he talks about? Whatever. But I, I like the approach of out weirding him somehow. The thing about packaging it and making it really hard for him to get to is if he's just ordering soup, we plate it for him while he's waiting and he can look into the kitchen. So he would see us doing that. Yeah. And so I think that it'd be. That would work if he wasn't watching us do it. I think it'd be more funny if he just were to. If we gave it to him. In the black bag. And then he gets to work and he opens it and he's like, what?

[Steve Berg]

Right. Well, you could always do a fake. A fake. Fake bag. And, like, you know. You know, I mean, you could. He could see it being played. And then you could have a bag that's already packed and just kind of, you know, do a switch.

[Emerald]

That's true. Do a little switcheroo. Switcheroo action.

[Stephen Burr]

And what. What would be in terms of this question? What is the goal you're hoping to get out of it? Do you want it to stop? Are you hoping. He laughs. What's the win for you out of this?

[Emerald]

We. I mean, just a laugh, probably. Just how do I. Like, how do I bring it to his attention where, like, he doesn't feel weird?

[Stephen Burr]

Yeah.

[Emerald]

Well, bad weird, I guess, where it makes him, like, stop coming.

[Stephen Burr]

But you want him to realize that. Yeah. That you guys get that he's an eccentric guy and you find it funny.

[Emerald]

Yes. Over, sir. Absolutely. Yeah.

[Stephen Burr]

You could go get, like, big pieces of paper, and on one, be, like, write raw dog and underline and put stars all around and run like, I want it love in my throat. And all his weird things. And when he says something weird, you turn back and go, like, if he's looking, and he goes like, I want that the hard way in my mouth. Then you turn back and you go, hardware in my mouth. And quickly one of the prep cooks writes it down. And then you all go, like, yeah.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, the hard way. Coming right up.

[Stephen Burr]

And then it's like everybody's celebrating it. And you guys say, like, as a joke, we're making. We're putting your things in, like a, you know, like, in and out has, like, a secret menu.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Stephen Burr]

So, like, if in and out in California, if you ask for, like, an animal style, it's different. And then, like, real in n out nerds are, like, the greatest thing to do is say, like, triple double dog dare me. And then they don't cook the onions, but they feel, like, really special about it. Right. This is just a hamburger. But you could do a version of that with him where you guys are creating your own joke menu just for him, with his terms.

[Emerald]

Oh, I think that's fantastic. Especially because, like, since you can see our whole kitchen and all of our staff in it, that seems really fitting for our environment. And, like, our owner, our chef and our owner, she's. She is, like, more Christian and religious and. But she. She cusses a little. She is all for. She makes an appropriate joke. She's, you Know, I think that that's totally something that she would be comfortable with, too, within her wheelhouse. Just make it weirder and laugh about it and. Yeah, I like.

[Steve Berg]

I think, too, I think in order to, like, sell this really great, I think you need to get the whole kitchen staff and everyone on board. So when you say, like, number five the hard way. Whatever. Whatever you're gonna say.

[Stephen Burr]

Yeah, yeah.

[Steve Berg]

They all repeat it back, even though they don't do that usually.

[Stephen Burr]

I think.

[Steve Berg]

I think like one of those cooking shows, because then right away the lawyer be like, oh, God. Like, it's a thing, you know, Like.

[Stephen Burr]

I think that's really fun.

[Emerald]

Yeah. He'll hear his words repeated back and then be like, oh, what?

[Stephen Burr]

By everybody in every kitchen staff having fun with it and laughing and giving high fives to each other.

[Steve Berg]

And they had to come commit to it, though, and not, like, look at him and giggle like they're doing it as a joke. They need to commit to it. Like Jake was saying. I think.

[Stephen Burr]

What do you think, Emerald? Are you going to try this?

[Emerald]

Oh, that's amazing. Yes, absolutely. I think that's incredible. And, like, all. Literally all of our staff are women except for one. We have one guy, and so we. I feel like even if I didn't tell them what I was doing, if I'm kind of the loud, conversational one at work anyway, and I feel like even if I were to just do it. Yeah, they would. They would play along regardless. And. But especially if I were to tell them and have them rally behind me, I think it would be hilarious. It'd be so funny.

[Stephen Burr]

And then could you do us a favor and record it? Yeah, and record it. I don't know how it could, like, I guess if when he came in, maybe on your phone, maybe have it set up, because it would be really fun. I don't care much about him. We don't need to reveal him on camera, but it'd be really fun to see you say, like, raw dog. And then everybody in the back be like, raw dog in the soup. Raw dog in the soup.

[Steve Berg]

You may have to let me know when this happens, and I'll be an extra in the background. Just a plant.

[Emerald]

That's incredible. Oh, my gosh. Yes, absolutely. I will absolutely record it.

[Stephen Burr]

We appreciate the call. Thank you for your time.

[Emerald]

You guys rock.

[Stephen Burr]

This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money. Rocket Money is the app that helps you get rid of unwanted subscriptions that you're paying for and you no longer need. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you Find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions. Monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. See all your subscriptions in one place and know exactly where your money is going. For any you don't want anymore. Rocket Money can help you cancel. With just a few taps. Rocket Money's dashboard gives you a clear view of your expenses across all of your accounts. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when they're using all the app's features.

[Jake Johnson]

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to Rocket Money.com help. That's Rocket Money.com help. Rocket Money.com help. And we are brought to you by Philo. Listen, Philo's got current seasons of shows that I can't miss. We can't miss. We watch TV together live on networks like A&E, MTV, Discovery and TLC. You've got the classics. The Office, Martin, Friends. What did I say? The classics. I'm not lying. Shows you can watch over and over again. Originals on AMC, Mad Men, Orphan Black. It's also got 75,000 movies and shows. That is the rest of your life's viewing pleasure right there. All right, you can rewatch it over and over again. And look, I've said it before. Jake and I. Jake and I will text about some of the shows that maybe aren't as mainstream. We have a lot of those in common. One of those is Love after Lockup or Life after Lockup. This show is something you should really get involved in. It's a very bingeable show and it is available here, so. But also Jersey Shore family vacation Catfish. Honestly, the re. One of the reasons Jake and I were able to start this show was because of Jake's love of catfish. So Golden Girls, best pilot ever made. You can go watch all these shows. So do it.

[Stephen Burr]

Best of all, with Philo, you get all this for just 28 bucks a month. No contracts, no hassles, just one subscription and a world of entertainment. So go to Philo TV and check it out for a free seven day trial. That's Philo P H I L O TV to start watching.

[Jake Johnson]

And we're brought to you by Dollar Shave Club. Dollar Shave Club offers shave and grooming products that are always high quality but never overpriced. Listen, I have been using Dollar Shave Club razors for a long time. They have wet shave products. Truly flip the script on how we shave it's so much easier now. They have things like the Club Series 6 Blade Razor. It's just a perfect shave. You look at me, I've got a beard, but I trim around. Don't tell anybody. Six stainless steel blades and it's the closest and most comfortable shave imaginable. There's the diamond grip handles, heavy metal handles. That one's worth the wait. Shave butter. I know what you're saying. I've been putting that on my popcorn. You're doing it all wrong. You put it on your face. And there's also post shave dew. Okay? They have a double headed electric trimmer. There's style detailer, precision trimmer for everything. Personal care for dudes. So do us a favor and join up with the Dollar Shave Club.

[Stephen Burr]

Don't take our word for it. Try for yourself. You can visit their site right now for 20 off of 20 or more and get your products delivered right to your door. Visit dollarshaveclub.com heretohelp and use promo code heretohelp for 20 off $20 or more.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Hey, everyone, it's the shark. The original call from this next follow up aired on September 26th. It's called organized fun can be tricky with Steve Berg. And it is the first call from the episode. So if you'd like to listen as a quick refresher, go for it. Enjoy.

[Stephen Burr]

Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

Hi.

[Stephen Burr]

This is a follow up, but we don't know what the follow up is, so could you take over, remind us what your call was, remind us what our pitch was and then let us know what's happening.

[Costello]

Yes. Okay. So my original call was one with Steve Berg where his chicken caught on fire in the oven. And my personal advice or ask for advice was around organized fun. I was going to Chicago with my husband and his friends and there was a Segway tour involved.

[Stephen Burr]

All right.

[Costello]

Your advice was to say that I had vertigo and so that would be our way to get out of it.

[Stephen Burr]

Yeah, right, right.

[Jake Johnson]

It's so funny that this call was you called us for advice and unfortunately, Steve burning his chicken really overshadows your first call because I do remember it.

[Stephen Burr]

But all I remember, Steve had vertigo and he couldn't go on a canoe.

[Costello]

So actually it was his advice.

[Stephen Burr]

Yes. So walk us through what happened. Did you use the excuse? Did you get out of the Segway? Where are we at?

[Gabby]

Yep.

[Costello]

So, I mean, to Gareth's point, we. The advice was to save where to go. We were going to do that, but.

[Stephen Burr]

Put the bell away.

[Costello]

It was going to be put on my husband to do it because it's his friends. He didn't actually like tell them that. So when we got there, like we were doing all the group friend fun things. And actually the night before we were supposed to go on the tour, we were staying at his friends own an investment property. So they were like, you guys can stay here. We usually rent it out for like Airbnb and things like that, but we want you to stay here. There was actually like a semi break in and so it kind of put a damper on the night. Nothing like serious was taken or no one was hurt or anything but like they had noticed that their back door was open. There were some things missing from their basement. And so it, in a funny way brought us all together. It was kind of a moment for us to all be like, oh, like we should, you know, do this together. It'll be fun. It will kind of take away from the stress of having to deal with this not so great thing happening. So the next morning we all decided to go. I was a good sport and actually we ended up having a really fun time.

[Jake Johnson]

Just so far. I mean, Jake, we're thinking the same thing. This, it's a great story. Could not have less to do with our input.

[Stephen Burr]

All our input was, was Steve Berg burned his chicken.

[Costello]

But I will say the takeaway I got from your original call, don't take advice from Berg.

[Stephen Burr]

A little bit too much olive oil is a problem.

[Jake Johnson]

Listen, I'll tell you, don't get as cooked as your chicken before you cook.

[Stephen Burr]

So what did you take away from the call?

[Costello]

That organized fun is really difficult, especially.

[Stephen Burr]

As an adult as we, as we get older.

[Costello]

Yes. You guys did also mention that, you know, since Chicago is, you know, 420 friendly, that that might take the edge off. I'm glad that we didn't do that.

[Stephen Burr]

It feels like Bergs were Garrett muted.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I mean, honestly, I really like. It just shows you how hard Berg stole the energy of the call because I. It sounds like your advice was Steve burned a chicken and some of the advice was to get really high.

[Stephen Burr]

Here's her advice. Get high and say that like, Steve, I have vertigo.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, here's my advice. Here's the advice from the show. Get super high and then say that you have trouble standing.

[Stephen Burr]

So you ended up just doing it. Doing it.

[Costello]

We did. We did.

[Jake Johnson]

You had a good time and you.

[Stephen Burr]

Had a nice time. You guys all bonded because you were almost robbed.

[Costello]

Yeah, yeah, that, that is the takeaway. I mean, well, it wasn't that, but.

[Jake Johnson]

I almost want to. I almost want to take the rope out of the bell. This call is so far off our advice.

[Stephen Burr]

For sure.

[Jake Johnson]

I should melt the bell down.

[Stephen Burr]

Yeah.

[Costello]

It wasn't your direct advice, so.

[Stephen Burr]

Okay, so I like what you're saying. It's a Steve loss. So we have a new category. We win, we lose, Steve loses.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that's pretty good.

[Stephen Burr]

I do, too. So we're really sorry that Steve Berg didn't help you, and I don't know what else to say. I'm glad you guys had fun. I'm glad you didn't take it as vice and get high. I'm glad you didn't take his advice.

[Jake Johnson]

And say, I mean, Steve was on our show as a guest and he went, oh. And threw his headphones off and just ran away.

[Stephen Burr]

Madness.

[Jake Johnson]

Absolute madness for an adult.

[Stephen Burr]

Um, but we appreciate you following up and we're glad you had fun in the beautiful city of Chicago.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. It just goes to show, sometimes we're.

[Costello]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Not worth listening to.

[Costello]

I mean, if you're ever in a city and you're like, should I do a Segway tour? It was surprisingly fun.

[Stephen Burr]

Okay, good.

[Jake Johnson]

There you go. You're not going to hear a bell. Sound actually ring the bell. I don't know why. Okay.

[Stephen Burr]

Just for segue. All right, well, we appreciate the follow up.

[Costello]

Thank you, guys.

[Stephen Burr]

Thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

Bye.

[Stephen Burr]

We're Here to Help is hosted by.

[Jake Johnson]

Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds.

[Kevin Bartelt]

The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt, and the associate producer and editor is AJ McKeon.

[Jake Johnson]

Our social media director is Caitlin Tan Wakio, and our video editor is John Debreu.

[Stephen Burr]

The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh, and you could check out his [e-mail] that's Oliver R A L L I dot com.

[Jake Johnson]

The album artwork is by James Fosdike. You can find him on Instagram at James Fosdike D I K E. And if you'd like to see me do Stand up on the Road, go to.

[Kevin Bartelt]

Gareth Reynolds.com Additional artwork by Paddy Holland. You can find him on Instagram @pady holland2004. And if you'd like early access to episodes, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon. Com heretohelpod.

[Stephen Burr]

And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question at [e-mail].

[Jake Johnson]

All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.