We're Here to Help - Episode 142: Psychological Warfare & Duck Daddy

Release Date: January 20, 2025
Hosts: Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds
Podcast Network: Headgum

Season Renewal and Changes

After contemplating retirement, hosts Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds discuss the unexpected renewal of the podcast by Headgum, highlighting the overwhelming support from listeners that influenced their decision to continue. They reflect on past episodes and interactions, including a playful exchange with Lamorn from Damon Waynes Jr.'s live show.

• Jake Johnson (02:10): "But before we get to that, just to talk a little trash, I did Lemorn after his live show."
• Gareth Reynolds (02:48): "And I think we were really done."

The duo announces significant changes for Season Two, including the departure of their friend Shark due to scheduling conflicts. They emphasize a renewed focus on addressing callers' questions more directly, aiming to deepen listener engagement.

• Jake Johnson (05:20): "I think we're planning on having great calls. We are planning on solving them like drunk uncles."

First Caller: Jeff’s Bike Dilemma – Psychological Warfare

Caller: Jeff, a high school teacher from Sacramento, seeks advice regarding his nephew Ben, whose bike was stolen. Jeff discovered that an 8th grader has been joyriding the bike and seeks strategies to retrieve it without escalating the situation or involving Ben directly.

Jeff (07:05): "What can we do for you today?"

Discussion Highlights:

• Understanding the Situation: Jake and Gareth analyze the dynamics between Jeff, his nephew, and the 8th grader, emphasizing the importance of addressing the theft without adverse effects on Ben.

  • Gareth Reynolds (09:00): "But you also got to find out what his family's like. Because we're not too worried about an 8th grader, but we are worried about an 8th grader's weird uncle who just got out of jail."

• Strategizing Psychological Pressure: The hosts suggest implementing subtle psychological tactics to encourage the thief to return the bike, such as leaving anonymous notes and placing signs that imply close monitoring.

  • Jake Johnson (12:10): "You follow the kid home. You study his path... leave notes for him going, I know you stole that bike. You've got 10 days to return it."

• Maintaining Anonymity and Avoiding Confrontation: Recommendations include avoiding direct confrontation to prevent creating additional tension or fear.

  • Gareth Reynolds (16:34): "Find the route and make it one epic day where there's a lot of signs on this kid's ride back and try to pack it all into one ride."

Notable Quote:

• Jake Johnson (19:04): "Your face is going to get plastered everywhere. The police will get involved. Your family will know."

Second Caller: Mateo’s Quacking Quandary – Duck Daddy

Caller: Zach from Texas shares his unusual predicament involving a highly affectionate and increasingly aggressive duck named Gandalf. The duck not only follows him persistently but also exhibits problematic behaviors that interfere with his daily life.

Mateo (35:11): "I have to try to figure out, get ahead of the game and get this girl into plants."

Discussion Highlights:

• Describing the Problem: Zach explains how Gandalf the duck has become overly attached, chasing him during walks and causing disruptions at his apartment complex.

  • Mateo (40:25): "The duck will not leave me, like, alone."

• Creative Solutions: Jake and Gareth brainstorm unconventional methods to deter Gandalf, ranging from psychological tactics to humorous disguise ideas.

  • Gareth Reynolds (51:08): "You need to convince this duck that you're no longer around."

• Balancing Humor with Practicality: While the situation is treated with humor, the hosts provide actionable advice to help Zach regain control over his interactions with Gandalf.

Notable Quote:

• Jake Johnson (44:11): "A duck's penis is like a pig's tail."
  (Note: This humorous yet explicit discussion underscores the podcast's casual and irreverent tone.)

Follow-Up Call: Mateo’s Progress and New Challenges

Caller: Zach returns to update Jake and Gareth on the progress made following their advice. He shares successes in shifting his son's interests from Spider-Man to Batman, fostering better bonding through shared activities.

Mateo (65:34): "He might not be 100 on Batman, but he definitely enjoys that time that we spend together with the stories and the shows."

Discussion Highlights:

• Positive Outcomes: The hosts celebrate the successful implementation of storytelling and themed activities, which have strengthened Zach’s relationship with his son.

  • Jake Johnson (68:38): "This is a victory, Zach."

• New Developments: Zach introduces a new challenge with the birth of his daughter Ivy, contemplating how to nurture her interests without overwhelming her.

  • Mateo (70:34): "Now I gotta try to figure out, get ahead of the game and get this girl into plants."

Notable Quote:

• Jake Johnson (71:03): "But look, for starters, what we're going to want to do is we're going to want to get some plants in her bedrooms."

Conclusion

Episode 142 of We're Here to Help delves into two unique and entertaining caller scenarios, offering a mix of heartfelt advice and comedic banter. Jake and Gareth successfully navigate the delicate balance between providing meaningful solutions and maintaining the show's signature humor, ensuring listeners are both entertained and informed.

Final Thoughts:

• Jake Johnson: Emphasizes the importance of building stronger relationships through shared interests and thoughtful interactions.
• Gareth Reynolds: Highlights the continued commitment to assisting listeners with creative and practical advice.

Notable Quotes Summary:

• Jake Johnson (19:04): "Your face is going to get plastered everywhere. The police will get involved. Your family will know."
• Jake Johnson (44:11): "A duck's penis is like a pig's tail."
• Jake Johnson (68:38): "This is a victory, Zach."
• Jake Johnson (71:03): "But look, for starters, what we're going to want to do is we're going to want to get some plants in her bedrooms."

For New Listeners:
If you're new to We're Here to Help, this episode exemplifies the show's blend of genuine advice and humorous discourse. Whether you're grappling with everyday dilemmas or extraordinary situations, Jake and Gareth offer a relatable and entertaining perspective to help navigate life's challenges.