145: The Ballad of Mrs. Gingerbread & Always Wear a Condom

Summary

Episode 145: The Ballad of Mrs. Gingerbread & Always Wear a Condom

Release Date: February 3, 2025
Hosts: Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds
Podcast: We're Here to Help by Headgum

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Introduction to the Episode

In Episode 145 of We're Here to Help, hosts Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds tackle a unique relationship dilemma involving a beloved pet and differing communication styles. The episode delves into how small quirks can impact domestic harmony and explores creative solutions to bridge the gap between partners.

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Caller Introduction: Irene from Massachusetts (05:55)

Irene, a 36-year-old professional juggling roles at an AI company and a human rights organization, calls in from Boston. She shares her recent living situation dilemma:

Irene [06:07]: "I moved in with my partner a year ago, and he has this cat, Mrs. Gingerbread, and we became best friends. The only problem is I use a special voice to talk to her because I think that every cat deserves a special voice."

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The Core Issue: Special Voices vs. Normal Communication (06:27 - 13:06)

Irene explains that her unique way of interacting with Mrs. Gingerbread through special songs and voices is a point of contention with her partner, Derek, who prefers using his normal voice. While the cat adores Irene's approach, Derek finds it disruptive, leading to tension in their relationship.

Irene [07:14]: "I use a special voice to talk to her because I think that every cat deserves a special voice. My partner doesn't feel that way, and he uses his normal voice to talk to her, and he hates my special voice."

The hosts and Gareth explore the emotional dynamics at play, considering whether the issue is about the voices themselves or underlying feelings such as jealousy and the need for mutual understanding.

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Advice and Creative Solutions (13:15 - 23:00)

Jake and Gareth brainstorm various strategies to address Irene's predicament:

1. Involving Derek in the Creative Process:
   They suggest Irene collaborate with Derek, leveraging his musical background to create duets that incorporate both their voices. This approach aims to make Derek feel included and valued.

   Gareth [18:02]: "Why not write a duet for you and your partner to sing to Mrs. G. And let your partner feel what it's like to sing a song to the cat in a voice and see if that can bring your partner."

2. Recording and Sharing the Experience:
   Another idea includes recording their interactions with the cat to create a shared experience that can foster understanding and reduce friction.

3. Adjusting Communication Patterns:
   They recommend modifying how and when Irene uses her special voice, such as whispering or reserving it for specific times, to minimize disruption.

Throughout the discussion, notable quotes underscore the hosts' humorous and empathetic approach:

Jake [14:17]: "Sex is great. Chunky little monkey."

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Follow-Up Call: Derek Joins the Conversation (45:26 - 62:02)

In a subsequent segment, Derek joins the conversation, providing his perspective. Initially resistant to the special voice, Derek warms up after collaborating with Irene on a song dedicated to Mrs. Gingerbread. This collaboration leads to improved household harmony and mutual appreciation for each other's efforts.

Irene [46:01]: "Derek felt a bit misrepresented by the call, but things have taken a turn now."

Derek shares how the advice helped him reconnect with his musical interests and supports the couple's newfound collaborative spirit.

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Resolution: Creating Harmony Through Music (53:21 - 62:02)

The episode culminates with Irene and Derek presenting their original song for Mrs. Gingerbread, showcasing the successful implementation of Jake and Gareth's advice. The song not only strengthens their bond but also serves as a testament to the power of creative problem-solving in relationships.

Jake [56:07]: "This is gonna go. This is gonna be huge for you guys. This cat's changed."

The hosts encourage listeners to embrace similar collaborative efforts in their relationships, highlighting the positive outcomes of open communication and shared creative endeavors.

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Conclusion

Episode 145 effectively blends humor with heartfelt advice, addressing the nuanced challenges that arise from differing personal habits within a relationship. Jake and Gareth's innovative solutions underscore the importance of empathy, collaboration, and creativity in resolving conflicts, all while maintaining the show's signature lighthearted tone.

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Notable Quotes

• Irene [07:14]: "I use a special voice to talk to her because I think that every cat deserves a special voice."
• Gareth [14:04]: "It's a great way to get him involved and admit that he's jealous of a cat."
• Jake [16:30]: "Because the cat's out there purring her ass off while you're petting her stomach."
• Irene [31:29]: "She thinks it gets me."
• Jake [36:13]: "Don't hit the line."
• Gareth [38:05]: "We need to attack mom's stupid premise with an ending that's even a bigger loser."

---

This episode is a prime example of how We're Here to Help combines humor with genuine advice, offering listeners both entertainment and practical solutions to everyday problems.

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

And we are back man. So Gareth, what are you most excited about in the new year? Personally?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ooh, well, you know, what are you about these days? GR there I've just really making a lot of my own stuff has started to excite me more and more, I think. You know, as we've talked about with this podcast, one of the things that's great is just being able to work your own version of entertainment and I really have leaned into that hard. So there's a lot of stuff that I'm doing a lot of, like, little field piece shoot things. Like I went and hung out with a. A ballet company and rehearsed the Nutcracker with them and it was insane. So that sort of stuff. What about you? You just took. You just wrapped.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Work on and.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You were loving that.

[Jake Johnson]

I really loved it. Yeah, it was. It was the movie the Dink with Josh Greenbaum, who directed it. Who, you know, Josh too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Great.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, we did great together. Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. And it was just so fun. And it was so fun working with all these different. I hadn't done a big comedy in a while with just like all these different actors popping in and crushing it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And it was. It was more fun than I expected. I had been doing more different kind of projects lately. As an actor. Yeah, you're like, you know, more. Less improv and more like you're just doing the thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're an actor and it's good. Sure.

[Jake Johnson]

And I was like, yeah, it's fun. And I was like, holy man. Being in just like a cross country situation and laughing was so fun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You. As I've seen, as I was a part of New Girl, but in general, and I think this is the best way to make things. You make up a lot of you. Even if you have the line, you start to riff off the line and do more of like that sort of.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I love it. Well, I love it when it's the right group.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right.

[Jake Johnson]

Exactly. And you're with somebody and the director's on the same page and the writers with you and the other actors with you. It just gets real. I mean, it's probably the same thing you're experiencing when you're doing these segments of like. You have a game plan of what's going to happen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. And like Mike Tyson said, everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.

[Jake Johnson]

Speaking of, I've been listening to his audiobook.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow, he reads it?

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that must have taken a long time. If he reads. I'll tell you, the only weird Berg Regan audiobook.

[Jake Johnson]

It. I would pay for that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, I'm copyrighting that intellectual property.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm fighting you for it. I'll see you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Chapter seven.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, we might have to write a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We have to do this.

[Jake Johnson]

The podcast for very small. Like we. It'll just be for this base. But it is. It is narrated by Stevie Berg. By the way, Steve Berg is in the movie with Fortune, Feister. Those two were so funny together.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, I know Berg came out For a couple days. He sent me some pictures. I mean, he. He and Fortune as a doubles partnership.

[Jake Johnson]

They were so funny. Our callers here. So here we go. Let's get into it without further ed. All right. Can we get your name, please?

[Irene]

Irene.

[Jake Johnson]

Hi, Irene. Okay, and where are you calling from, Irene?

[Irene]

I'm calling from Massachusetts.

[Jake Johnson]

You near Boston?

[Irene]

Yep, I actually am.

[Jake Johnson]

I love Boston. Okay, Irene, Massachusetts. How old are you?

[Irene]

36.

[Jake Johnson]

36? You're just a child, Irene. Man. What do you do for work, Irene?

[Irene]

I work at one of those scary AI companies and also for a human rights organization.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. The dichotomy of your career.

[Jake Johnson]

And what do you mean by this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know.

[Irene]

I'm selling my soul in order to afford my human rights career.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Irene, Massachusetts. 36. Okay, what's the problemo today? What can we try to help you with?

[Irene]

Yeah, well, I moved in with my partner a year ago, and he has this cat, Mrs. Gingerbread, and we became best friends. The only problem is I use a special voice to talk to her because I think that every cat deserves a special voice. My partner doesn't feel that way, and he uses his normal voice to talk to her, and he hates my special voice that I use in my special songs that I sing to her, but she loves them, and I don't know what to do.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, for starters, let's hear the voice.

[Irene]

I'm a little worried that when I do the voice episode is going to be titled, like, the most hated Woman in America.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, don't.

[Irene]

I'm just going to go for it because it's really driving a wedge in our relationship.

[Jake Johnson]

We just can't.

[Irene]

A little bit of a special voice for a little girl named Mrs. Jenna with. She's a very, very special fluffy little dust.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do I do?

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on. We're not done. I. I'm not with Garrett. I didn't hate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I wish.

[Jake Johnson]

Can you give us. Can you give us a little bit of the song?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Irene]

I mean, do you want the song that I made up or, like, the variation of Coming around the Mountain?

[Jake Johnson]

I want the song. I want them both.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Those options are unreal.

[Jake Johnson]

What? Here's what I would like you to do what you do for Mr. Gingerbread when you are your most fired up. I'm sorry, Mrs. So let's hear the one you made up. And don't do the short one. Don't do the short one.

[Irene]

Yeah. Well, when we're both fired up, it would be, like, special.

[Ally]

Go.

[Irene]

The most special in the world. Ginger is a very special Goo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The devil's in the details. Because hearing this is a lot different than thinking about it.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, I'm feeling like Mrs. Gingerbread. And I'm like. I'm kind of laying on my back right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's comforting in a way. And if you look at the picture we have of Mrs. Gingerbread, it looks like you have got her in some sort of hypnotic shape.

[Jake Johnson]

And she loves you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, yes.

[Irene]

She loved me so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, that was the Coming Round the Mountain cover.

[Irene]

That was. Yeah. I also have an original song that I made up. Yeah. This is just one verse of it. I'm gonna do one verse. It's like.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on.

[Irene]

It's many verses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it might be Bohemian Rhapsody, Jake.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, then we'll see. Can you please do the whole thing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, start.

[Irene]

It's gonna be too long. It would be like 20 minutes.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, we can't get to 20 minutes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll do like, Bohemian Rhapsody is short compared to your song.

[Irene]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

All right. Give us a couple verses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, give us the word part.

[Irene]

So it's like, oh, how I love you, Mrs. Gingerbread. I love you very much, my sweet friend. I love you, love you, love you. I'm always thinking of you. I love you very much, Mrs. Bread. And then this is just a sample verse. So it would be like, oh, how I love you. This is Gingerbread on your wound head fit two triangle shaped ears. I love you of you, of you I'm always thinking of you. I wish I could deviate your view. And it goes on.

[Jake Johnson]

It's excellent.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And, you know, I'll be honest, it's awesome. What I love about this, it is way better than we thought. What I love about the second one is sometimes I'll be listening to Sirius XM and it'll. And I'll go, ah, you know it. I'll listen to, like, the 40s channel and it will be a song like that.

[Jake Johnson]

One quick. One quick thing. I don't mean to interrupt, Garf, but, Rob, can we use part of that somewhere on every episode? Maybe we end on that. And maybe we start episode one of season two and people learn about it in this episode, but the new end is somehow we just get that song every episode.

[Irene]

And I just want to credit Mrs. G for, like, inspiring It's Such a star.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't demure. You're the real. You're the. I mean, you're an artist.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. So.

[Irene]

I mean, I am a secret star.

[Jake Johnson]

But, yeah, I wouldn't even say secret anymore. So, Irene, we now have a picture of this. So I think the only problem is you live with your partner and you shouldn't. You should live with 15 cats and just let it rip from morning till night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You should have a recording studio where you are and you should be putting that album.

[Jake Johnson]

You make cat songs and you have a really nice life. But.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And what you have is a non supportive partner.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're a champion. We'd like to sign you to here to help records. I don't know what I'm doing.

[Jake Johnson]

You're a star. So, Irene, what is the problem? So he doesn't like these voices.

[Irene]

Yeah, like last night I was talking to her in the special voice and, you know, singing a little, and he was like, can you please stop? Like he hates it.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Irene]

And then he believes cats should be talked to in a normal voice.

[Jake Johnson]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But Jake, we love what we just heard.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, agreed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Imagine living with what we just heard.

[Jake Johnson]

I can't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You see the problem?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what I mean? You're trying to watch like. You're like, oh, yeah, let's watch that Martha Stewart talk on Netflix.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm trying to create.

[Irene]

We were trying to watch Mary at first sight.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. I'm also. Or I'm thinking I'm trying to create a sexual vibe with my partner because hopefully tonight is going to go down. And I go like, hey, you want another glass of wine? And she goes, great. And then she goes, and I go, nope, not tonight. So his kind of thought is. Or is his thought. He believes cats just shouldn't be talked to that way.

[Irene]

Yes. Yeah, he believes cat should be talked to like they're people.

[Jake Johnson]

So what if you did a great old test and he sat on one side of the room and you sat on the other? You put the cat in the middle, you sing, he talks regular and you see where the cat goes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a great.

[Irene]

He's really smart. I don't know if she's like reading our pheromones or like the mood, but she would know what we were trying to do and she would just leave.

[Jake Johnson]

Interesting. Okay. Typical cat move. All right, so then the. So the specific question is, then what.

[Irene]

Is how do I. It's like when he comes back from work, I have to turn off the voice, but I want to be able to, you know, continue my rapport with Mrs. G. Yeah. And I don't want to harm his.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ears, but you really feel like you can't hang with the cat if you're not doing that voice.

[Jake Johnson]

She can, but she likes it more so hard.

[Irene]

It just pops out. Yeah, it just pops out because it's natural and organic.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's an idea. Here's a way to do it that might just plant a seed. You could do it in more whispers and as if even though he can hear, you know, you're not allowed to talk like this around him. So it could begin the idea of like, I'm so sorry, Mr. Junior, but I can't talk this way. And then he's going to get what.

[Irene]

I do at night. Yeah. When we're trying to fall asleep, but it's like he hears it and then, like, his body jerks awake. Little bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't believe I, on this call, am the one who's like, this voice to. Your cat has to stop.

[Jake Johnson]

But so you're leaning towards, she should cool it when he's around.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's. What do you. I guess what do we want to solve here? Do we want to solve the fact that he thinks it doesn't work, or do we want to make him happier? That about the voice. Because you could pull a move where you're like, Mrs. Gingerbread and I are going to go to the bedroom where we're going to do the voice because we don't want to upset you.

[Irene]

Yeah. That's pretty much what we're doing. And I'm just. I'm trying to figure out if there's some way.

[Jake Johnson]

Right. But give us, Irene, give us a hint of where you want to. Where you think. Because Gareth's question was right, in my opinion of. Is this really a question about you and him and your relationship? Because there's an easy solution for the relationships thing, and that is just don't do the voice when he's around.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Or cut it in half.

[Jake Johnson]

Or you're like, you know what? It really annoys him when I do this. Like, for example, my wife, when we got moved in together, she was like. Like, just please don't play video games. She's like, I just find it so unsexy to see a man playing, like, video games. And I was like, that's fine. So if I was ever gonna do it back then, Steve Berg had whatever was placed, I'll go to his house. So there is a very easy solution. If you're like, this is about me and him, but if it's about what's best for Mrs. Gingerbread, that is a different pitch. So if you can kind of narrow down what you're kind of hoping to hear a pitch on, I think it'll help.

[Irene]

I Think I'm hoping that his mind could be changed.

[Jake Johnson]

Then I have a pitch. You talk to him that way and you make up songs about him. He's jealous. He doesn't realize that. And it happens when people have kids. But you're like, we've got this wonderful thing. I've got the sweetest woman in the world, and now she's so sweet to them and not me. So if he just gets a little song about him, if he gets a little bit of. I know he's gonna reject it at first. Because he's scared. Yeah, because he's scared. He's scared to admit. He's scared to admit he's jealous of a goddamn cat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I really.

[Jake Johnson]

Because the cat's out there purring her ass off while you're petting her stomach and you're going, you are the greatest. You are the greatest. And he's sitting on the couch going, I mean, I worked all day, too. I. There was a time where I used to lay on my back and she'd pet my stomach and look at me like that. So we might just have to.

[Irene]

I hope you're right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've got a pitch too, by the way.

[Jake Johnson]

I hope you're right is the real premise of this show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Title.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. What's your.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I think I, I, I just feel like maybe he's jealous that you have a great voice and great songs. Like, I genuinely like.

[Jake Johnson]

Think you really feel that way, Gareth?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do. I feel like if I'm just trying to put myself in his headspace, this. Jake, you'll admit, when we heard the songs, they were way better than you thought.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, but the voice at the beginning was harder to take than I thought.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a hard thing.

[Jake Johnson]

The voice is, you know, whenever, if I hear someone do a baby voice, I'm not thinking like a couple calling each other baby all the time. I'm not thinking like, God, am I jealous. They got a great voice. I'm thinking, my God, it feels like nails on a chalkboard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

So the voices, Gingerbread.

[Irene]

It feels amazing.

[Jake Johnson]

To Mrs. Gingerbread, it feels amazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So here's, here's, like, look at the.

[Irene]

Look on her face in that picture.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Honestly, I think we're all on scream Ketamine.

[Jake Johnson]

Mrs. G loves it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So here's, here's my pitch. And I don't know if it's going to work. I don't even know. I don't know if it's going to solve it, but why not write a duet for you and your partner to sing to Mrs. G. And let your partner feel what it's like to sing a song to the cat in a voice and see if that can bring your partner.

[Jake Johnson]

I think the jealousy and feeling excluded.

[Irene]

I like that you.

[Jake Johnson]

Do you think that would work, Irene?

[Irene]

Well, he is a musician, and so maybe he is a little threatened.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. I thought this was a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What does he play?

[Jake Johnson]

I think this is right.

[Irene]

He plays bass, and he was in a band before COVID and then they just gave up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He takes.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, this is right.

[Irene]

Career thriving in the kitchen.

[Jake Johnson]

He lives with Robert Plant of Cass. So, Irene, I think Aerith is right. I think what you ask him to do is say, will you do me a favor as an experiment, Will you drop a very simple bass line? But do you. You're a great musician to this song, and I want to see how the cat responds. And then no matter how she responds, you go. She has never responded this strongly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Also, if I may, let's leave that where it is, because if we like it, I don't want to talk past the cell. But we could also record this. And when you two are hanging out and you're trying to watch Married at First Sight off in the corner on the computer, you could put on the new hit cat single for Mrs. Gingerbread to hear a little bit, too. To not feel like.

[Jake Johnson]

So you mean he. He records his bass, she records her singing? They have it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. We have a song. A song that we could play on this show and help other cats.

[Jake Johnson]

But here's what I would say at first, we do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

I think we end there, Gareth. But I think the first one, they got to improvise together.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

And they've got to make it feel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like part of the process, by the way.

[Jake Johnson]

Also, Irene, I think Gareth is right. There's a way to get him involved in this and say, so I called in this show because I know the thing is annoying. And they found out you were a musician, too, and have asked us to put together a song that's three minutes. That's the exact song you were singing with some of his bass. And is that something he'd be willing to do with you then?

[Irene]

I think he would.

[Jake Johnson]

Then we bring you both on for a followup where we play the song, we talk about it, and now we are getting past the bad voice because now he's just part of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. I think what we have is sideline syndrome.

[Jake Johnson]

Sideline syndrome, I love. And then we experiment with different types of bass riffs, really find out what Mrs. Gingerbread likes the most.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And to that point, make your partner feel. Oh, that's good. That's a good idea, honey. Give a couple of those.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, and here's another. This is how we really sneak it into him. At one point, you need, in this song, a great Sonny and Cher moment that he needs to sing, too, but he also needs to find his weird cat voice chorus so that you're going like, yes.

[Irene]

He doesn't like singing because he doesn't. He says, oh, I don't have a good voice. And I'm like, I don't have a good voice, but I love it.

[Jake Johnson]

But for this, you just need him. You're like, for the fun of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Harmonize.

[Jake Johnson]

Harmonize.

[Irene]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

But he's also got to be doing his version of your voice, so that. Right, but it's like, you know, based off of yours, I'd be like, just make it sound, you know, harmonize with this, and you guys find it together. It's fun, it's silly, whatever. But then you do it for the cat, and you love it. So now it's not your annoying thing. It's. It's your guys's annoying thing. And he's like, it's working.

[Irene]

I do like that. I did try to get him involved in making a short horror movie starring Mrs. Gingerbread, and I said it would be about a couple where they move in together and everything's great. But then she starts singing and talking to the cat in a special voice, and it looks crazier and crazier. And he said it was too close to home.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Listen, stick with what we got here. Let's land.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I. Yeah, I think it's. It's like the Temple of Doom. The more details we hear sometimes from you, the scarier it gets. But I think we've got a good zone right now that'll bring him into the spot.

[Jake Johnson]

That's all we're trying to do. We're just trying to get him in. And we're trying to get him to admit the cat likes it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. And allows you to do it. I. I really think it's coming from jealousy. And he's a musician, and when you revealed the music, it was way better than we thought it was going to be. So. So.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Are you gonna do it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a piece off.

[Ally]

Yeah, I am.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Irene]

I think, honestly, Mrs. G just has great taste.

[Jake Johnson]

I think you're right. And so will you follow up with us?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Irene]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And then either way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But ideally, the follow up might have.

[Jake Johnson]

The new hit single, 100.

[Irene]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And then I Will to take us out. Will you give us a little bit more of the song?

[Irene]

Yeah. Do you want the original one?

[Jake Johnson]

The original one's the best.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. So just remember, remember, because it's 20 minutes, we're gonna fade this out. So at some point, just hang up, give us a taste. And then. And then we'll say, oh, no, Rob.

[Jake Johnson]

Dude, can we hang up or.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we can hang up on her.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. So, yeah, Rob's ready to go. So just start sending it off. And Rob, we're gonna give you the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rob hug up right now.

[Jake Johnson]

That would be not great for the show, but the best bit comedy, it's the boo. But so let's take us out and then this is going to be the end of this call. So we're done. We appreciate it. And the floor is yours.

[Irene]

Okay, this goes out to Rob. Oh, how I love you, Mrs. Gingerbread. You're the pooface wittle cat just for me. I love you, love you, love you. I'm always thinking of you. I hope that you're thinking of me.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode is brought to you by quip. They sent us a quip360 and I've been using it every day and I absolutely love it. It's made brushing my teeth so much easier. And in order to get to the back molars, which I can't get to, I'm now able to. And I'm excited to brag to my dentist. And I'm not fearing the dentist appointment as much because it's always nice to feel like a winner.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So the new Quip360 oscillating toothbrush literally revolves around you. Literally. So this is an electric toothbrush that doesn't over complicate the most basic daily ritual. Look, Bob Dylan went electric. Why don't you do it with your toothbrush? Just for listeners, if we're here to help, get 20% off site wide and a free travel case and countertop stand at getquip q u I p.com whth free your mouth today and save 20 site wide plus a free travel case and countertop stand at getquip q u I p.com wh get quip q u I p.comwh this episode is brought to.

[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

This episode is brought to you by Meundies this Valentine's Day. Whether you're married, single, focusing on friendships or stuck in a never ending spiral of situationships, everyone deserves to celebrate love. While me undies can't totally help your love life, they can offer you insanely comfy undies and loungewear to buy or gift this holiday. They've got so many awesome Valentine's Day prints and styles. Plus you can match with your partner, friends or even your pets in me undies iconic matching styles. You and them matching me undies name a better Valentine's Day. I am currently wearing a pair of black ME undies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love me undies. I take me undies on the road with me all the time. I have gotten me a pair of Valentine's me undies. I don't want to get too deep into it, but let's just say they have some glitter on them. Not glitter that's falling off everywhere. It's not. They're just kind of have a little glittery substance. I don't know how they're doing it. So this Valentine's Day, give the gift that'll always have them thinking of you and score huge site wide [e-mail] here to help Enter promo code Here to help that's Meundies.com here to help code here to help for huge site wide savings Me Undies Comfort from the outside in hello. Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

Hi. Welcome to the show.

[Ally]

Hi.

[Jake Johnson]

How you doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi.

[Ally]

I'm good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How are you?

[Ally]

Good.

[Jake Johnson]

Can we get your first name please?

[Ally]

Yeah. My first Name is Ally.

[Jake Johnson]

Ally. And where are you calling from, Allie?

[Gareth Reynolds]

La la.

[Jake Johnson]

What part?

[Ally]

I live in Manhattan Beach.

[Jake Johnson]

Manhattan Beach. Okay. And about how old are you, Allie?

[Ally]

I'm 28.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. And what do you do for work?

[Ally]

I am graduating medical school in four months.

[Jake Johnson]

I love it. What's your favorite hobby?

[Ally]

My favorite hobby is watching sports.

[Jake Johnson]

What's.

[Ally]

What's watching? Football.

[Jake Johnson]

What? Who's your team?

[Ally]

The Rams.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, the Rams. Okay. And if you were to see one animal in the wild, what would it be?

[Ally]

I wanted to see one.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Dream animal. You're in the. You're in the wild by yourself. You pick the terrain. You turn a corner, you see blank. What are you seeing?

[Ally]

Elephant.

[Jake Johnson]

An elephant. And how come. What do you like about an elephant?

[Ally]

They're gigantic and smart and independent.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Ally]

And amazing.

[Jake Johnson]

I think we know what you're looking for in a love interest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right.

[Ally]

If any guys are listening, that's the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a Looking for elephant man.

[Jake Johnson]

A gigantic, smart, independent thinker. Ally, we got a nice little picture of you, I think. What can we do for you?

[Ally]

Okay, so I am calling in because my mom tells this story that she thinks is super funny but is actually really uncomfortable for my sister and I. And so the story goes that she'll be talking about, you know what, like, just like, funny things that she says. And she'll say. When I was. When the girls were younger, I would say, be safe, have fun, and always wear a condom. And that's like kind of the punchline of her joke for anything. It's like you will just say, like, yeah, I always told the girls when they were in high school to have fun, be safe, and always wear a condom. And it never hits. Everyone is always just super. It's just awkward. And my sister and I, she's gotten into the habit of telling this story more and more. I think, like, she told it and then she's gotten her head and so she's telling it more and more. Yeah, like, the events and stuff like that. And so most recently on Thanksgiving, she, my sister, we did it all with my sister's boyfriend's family, and she told the story again in front of, like, his parents, his sister and his nieces. And like, everyone just. It never hits the way I think she thinks it's hitting. And my sister and I just sit there awkwardly. And then worse is that she never said this to us. Neither my sister nor I.

[Jake Johnson]

What a twist.

[Ally]

Ever saying this to us. And so she always asks us to, like, finish the line for her, like, Land the joke. And we're always just like. You never said this. And so my sister is also kind of in on this with me, and this was her idea to call in and to. How do we get our mom to stop telling this story?

[Jake Johnson]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you want to bring her sister in real quick?

[Jake Johnson]

Sure.

[Ally]

Yes, please. Hi.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi. Okay. Who are you? Because we're talking to Allie.

[Ally]

Oh, you are? This is Sam.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sam. Okay. Okay. Ally. Sam. Sam. Allie basically laid out the problem that your mother says she ends her goodbye to you story was saying, always wear a condom.

[Ally]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you have the boyfriend who you just had Thanksgiving with, and she told it in front of your boyfriend's family, and it bombed.

[Ally]

Yes, it bombed. It was his parents, his sister, her husband and their two very young children, and our good family friends who she's never met before.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is her reaction when this bombs? She just has. It does not register at all.

[Ally]

Not at all. Zero. Like she thinks it is a hit time after time. And honestly, I think she thinks it gets me.

[Jake Johnson]

Will you do me a favor really fast? Will you do an impression of your mom telling the story?

[Ally]

So we'll be in a gathering. Literally anything else could be the topic of conversation. And she'll go, oh, you know what I always say to you guys, girls, what is it? Have fun. And then she'll lean to us and we have to go, always wear a condom. And she'll go, have fun. Always wear a condom. And then it's pretty much silent in the room.

[Jake Johnson]

And when did this start?

[Ally]

I want to say about a year ago. I mean, maybe she'd done it here and there before, but it's, it's really picked up speed. It has, yeah. Just picked up every, every gathering now. It's, it's a story.

[Jake Johnson]

So the only thing I can relate to on this is when my dad and I got close when I was in my late 20s, I. I lived with him and we went out with all of his friends once, and his. We were all ordering food and I asked for, like, you know, chicken or whatever. And my dad in front of the whole group goes, jesus, he chicken Now. This guy would never touch a bite of chicken his whole life. And it just wasn't true.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That happens with parents.

[Jake Johnson]

And I went like, you're like, I, I, I do like chicken. He was like, since today, the guy loves chicken. And I go, you're like. And I was. So I went like, I called him croco at the time. I was like, croco? I don't know what you're talking about. He's like, this guy would never eat chicken now. Chicken this, chicken that. And everybody's laughing as if I am embarrassed about the fact that I ordered chicken. But I was like, this is as weird of a two minutes as I've been in in a long time. So question about your mom. Do you think she knows this is a made up story or do you think she thinks this is what I.

[Ally]

Said this is true.

[Jake Johnson]

She just.

[Ally]

I think she definitely thinks this is true.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, but you guys are sure it's not.

[Ally]

I've never. She's never said this. Insinuate that we were going out in high school every time to go have sex. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Also that you guys have penises and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That you never wrapped up the penises you don't have.

[Jake Johnson]

Because she's saying to you guys, put a condom on. Always wear a condom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It makes. Yeah, I mean, that is. Let's not sleep on that point. She is asking you two to always wear a condom. Her female daughters. But the parents do suggest that one.

[Ally]

Is used at some point.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but it's still weird. Here. Here's the luxury of this position because I didn't realize this when the call started. You have to be the punchline to this nine.

[Jake Johnson]

I didn't either.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Ally]

She makes us finish the line.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The difference is they have a line. They have to sit. They have to hit a line in order for the mother to get what she wants out of this sit. So to me, the easy solve is.

[Jake Johnson]

Don'T hit the line.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Change the line.

[Jake Johnson]

Exactly right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We need to attack mom's stupid premise with an ending that's even a bigger.

[Jake Johnson]

Loser because Gareth rather than a bigger loser because she doesn't read the room. So she's missing and thinking she's hidden.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I know where you're going.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, it's.

[Ally]

And I fear if we said something, she would just double down on her saying.

[Jake Johnson]

So here's. Here's what I would say. What's the setup again? Be safe.

[Ally]

The story is, have fun, always.

[Jake Johnson]

And always leave a condom behind for your mom. So she goes, no. And you go, that was the old saying. You always said, always leave a gram of cocaine and a condom behind for mom because then she'll go, that's not the same. And you'll go. Then Allie, you go. That was the old joke. That's what I remember.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you. If you two have it in unison, it's great.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think Jake's fully right. We need to turn the gun on her.

[Jake Johnson]

Because then she'll go, I don't like that story. I like that she won't like mom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If it hits.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If it hits. She's the butt of the joke. It's great.

[Ally]

And this is perfect timing because we're about to go into, like, a bunch of Christmas parties where my sister and I were. We'll both be there. I feel like we almost need to, like, go bigger because it's, like, almost too close. And then she'll just like, no, no, no. It was. You always wear a condom.

[Jake Johnson]

And then we're like, is this Sam talking?

[Irene]

Yes, that was Sam.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Sam, give us a hint of what would be bigger and stop your mom in her tracks. Be safe, have fun. And.

[Ally]

I don't know, that's. Maybe that's our problem. Yeah, we need you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Jake Johnson]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got one. Yeah, I got one. Mom conceived us on her head.

[Jake Johnson]

Mom conceived this honor. It's just. It's really wordy.

[Ally]

That might be too much of a riddle. Like.

[Jake Johnson]

I agree.

[Ally]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

What would be something in terms of your mom's personality that would be really embarrassing? Mom wears a butt plug.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mom loves butt plugs.

[Jake Johnson]

B, have fun, be safe, and mom loves butt vlogs.

[Ally]

Or something better with something like, don't take my butt plug.

[Jake Johnson]

Don't take my butt plug is great. Or yeah, have fun, be safe, and don't use my vibrator.

[Ally]

Oh, God. Sorry. This is still getting the embarrassing end.

[Jake Johnson]

Of this, by the way. You're right. Or how about this? Have fun, be safe, and your mom loves to masturbate. And then she'll go, oh, my God. And you'll go. That's what you used to always say to us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about always have a side piece?

[Jake Johnson]

Always have a side piece.

[Ally]

I like that. I think I like that one, too. The scandal or even, like, drugs and alcohol. She's very anti any kind of drinking. And like, what is. I think that would play on more of, like, her brand.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You want a drinking punch?

[Jake Johnson]

She does, like, a party drinking one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Jake Johnson]

What is something. What is your guys's. What about something like, your mama loves to get turned up.

[Ally]

I like at the very beginning, I think Garrett said, like, Said, like. And always do an eight ball or something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but. Yeah, and always do an eight ball. But always have an eight ball.

[Jake Johnson]

Then who are. Is everybody?

[Ally]

I think that would be great because there will be some people that. That understand that and some that don't. And then I think that would be funny.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, so. Yeah, let's try again, guys. So then you guys are going to try to say at the same time. And always. What is it? Always have or always do an eight ball?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would say always have an eight ball because that's like a. I've never.

[Ally]

Done an eight ball, so I don't know neither.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth is our best bet here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tell you what goes. Goes faster than you think. Sounds like a lot. Till you're doing it.

[Ally]

That would be a great finishing of this.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, great thing for merge. Hey, Paul. Sounds like a lot. It goes really fast once you start doing it. We're here to help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sounds like a lot.

[Ally]

Like what? Yeah, and we're like, it. Sounds like a lot until you're doing it.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's what you can do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. That's what you do.

[Jake Johnson]

You guys can do it together so you don't have to say it at the same time. It could be a tag team.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So. So we can have. So what we could do is we can have Ali say, remember an eight ball sounds like a lot. And then Sam says, until you're actually doing it.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that's pretty great.

[Ally]

Perfect.

[Jake Johnson]

As if your mom is teaching you to get more cocaine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Ally]

Yes. She's gonna be mortified by that. Like, yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, Allie, why don't you say, remember an eight ball sounds like a lot.

[Jake Johnson]

And then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Then Sam, you say, until you're actually doing it.

[Ally]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

So let's try it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. The mom. Here we go. Okay. Well, it's like I always told the girls when I was dropping them off. Have fun, be safe.

[Ally]

And an eight ball sounds like a lot. Only until you're doing it.

[Jake Johnson]

Pretty close.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Practice a couple times. Give a little. See? See who's comfy and do. Should we swap roles?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, let's try swapping roles.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's swap roles. Okay, so, Allie, you take the point. Okay. Well, that's like I always told the girls, have fun, be safe.

[Ally]

An eight ball sounds like a lot until you're doing it.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way. That's right. I think that's the right add if you need to. And an eight ball. Just make sure whoever started use a transitionary word to sounds like. To make sure you're connecting to mine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, got it.

[Ally]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, let's try one more. One more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like, wait, who's going first?

[Jake Johnson]

Whoever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The order we just did is second.

[Ally]

Okay. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like I always told them, have fun, be safe.

[Ally]

And an eight ball sounds like a lot. Only until you're doing it.

[Jake Johnson]

That's it. I mean, guys, he killed it. I will tell you, some people won't get It Those who do will. Some people will really crack up that your mom told you an eight ball sounds like a lot until you're doing it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But here's why. That's okay, Jake. Because the problem is that mom is already bombing on her terms. At least now we're bombing. And the onus is on mom.

[Jake Johnson]

That mom has advised her young daughters.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Interested.

[Jake Johnson]

To get more time doing the bit now and then.

[Ally]

I think it also switches it to, like, the people that laugh. And then the people that don't are going to be like, wait, what does that mean? Why is that funny? And it immediately moves on the conversation in a lull of like, I think.

[Jake Johnson]

This is exactly right, guys, please.

[Ally]

Perfect.

[Jake Johnson]

Try to have a family member, another sibling, a cousin, a friend who's in on it to get a cell phone and fake so no one could see they're filming it. Pretend they're texting, but see if we can get this interaction. When you know it's going to happen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You know it's coming.

[Jake Johnson]

See it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, and.

[Ally]

And we know. We know what it's happening.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Set something up so we can see it's just audio.

[Jake Johnson]

That's. If we could get it on video, it would be a gold mine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And let me say this. You can't rehearse this too much. You want to stick the landing and make it right. So go through it 20 times and.

[Jake Johnson]

Then please, please follow up with us, guys, please.

[Irene]

We will.

[Ally]

This is a perfect. Thank you so much for your help.

[Jake Johnson]

We appreciate you guys. Bye, guys. This episode is brought to you by Herobred. Herobred is my absolute favorite sponsor we have because I love eating the food. They've sent us a bunch of packages, and now I'm hooked. I'm buying it on my own. I love the tortillas. I love the bread. I love the bagels. I love everything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

Hello.

[Irene]

Hi.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

Hi. Welcome back to the show. This is a follow up. You're on with Jake and Gareth and new producer Jesse.

[Irene]

Hi, Jesse.

[Jake Johnson]

Hello. So can you remind us who you are? Could you tell us what your issue was? Could you tell us what we advised you? And could you tell us what's happening?

[Irene]

So I had called in about my cat, Mrs. Gingerbread, and the songs that I love to sing to her and the special.

[Jake Johnson]

Voice that I do.

[Irene]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The best songs.

[Irene]

Thank you. My partner Derek didn't like. Yeah, hated. But things have taken a turn now.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on, sir. Sir, we will get to you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Be quiet.

[Derek]

I know, I know. I'm not the one you're rooting for.

[Jake Johnson]

Sir, you are not the star of this call. Yes. So first of all, you had wonderful songs, right, Gareth?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, the comp. Like Bohemian Rhapsody level. Cats song.

[Jake Johnson]

And what was our advice to you?

[Irene]

It was to work with Derek, who's actually a musician.

[Jake Johnson]

Musician.

[Irene]

On recording the song, The Ballad of Mr. Gingerbread.

[Jake Johnson]

Right, right. And take it slow.

[Irene]

What happened? Well, first of all, I do want to say that Derek felt a bit misrepresented by the call that I had with Derek.

[Jake Johnson]

We will get to Derek.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just love how Derek's victimizing himself. You know what I mean, Jake? It's just like.

[Jake Johnson]

Is this pissing me off?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just so on brand.

[Irene]

No, but everything has changed since we made this song together. I feel that there is a sense of harmony in the household that wasn't there before. And you guys really were here to help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, listen, I don't know if you know that that's what we. We call the actual podcast, which is crazy. Jake, should we hear from Derek for a minute? We've. We've badgered him, silenced him. Maybe.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm okay with it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Derek, you have the floor. Please speak to your truth and tell us what we're missing and tell us how you're feeling.

[Derek]

Yeah, no, Well, I haven't heard the original podcast yet, but I was under the impression that was about her cat voice, not cat song.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, well, I think it was about both a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

What was it was about? You do a little voice that he does not like and then you do songs that he hated.

[Derek]

I think there's the reverse. I hated the voice. The song was okay. I mean, the song's great, but the voice.

[Irene]

I think now you would say that the song's great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Before, maybe there was an issue. And is. Is the cat who. Derek, is the cat yours? Am I mistaken?

[Derek]

No. Yeah, she's. She came with me from the animal shelter.

[Irene]

She's become mine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Right. Can we hear the cat voice just to remind everyone what that is, please?

[Irene]

Well, we just give you one of our dish because she's so cute.

[Jake Johnson]

And Derek, when you hear that voice, what are your thoughts?

[Derek]

Well, in small doses, it's okay, but I hear it a lot. It's like having a. It's like a Cartman sort of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow, that's. I don't disagree, by the way. Once you hear it, you can't unhear it. I think.

[Jake Johnson]

Can we hear it a little bit more and think about Cartman for a second?

[Irene]

I mean, I'm just doing what feels right for me. She's wet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's there.

[Jake Johnson]

It's there for sure.

[Irene]

It's definitely here's the thing is that Derek does have a cat voice, and I had blocked it out when I called you guys and was like, he doesn't believe in special cat voices. It's not true. I had just blocked his out because I didn't like his.

[Jake Johnson]

Derek, can we hear yours, please, sir?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's only fair.

[Derek]

Well, my cat voice is just. It's a. An occasional. It's. It's like an accent on my regular voice every once in a while. So I just call her and like, hey, Mr. Gingerbread, you want to come in and get some dinner? Kind of like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Could you just do it a little more, please?

[Irene]

Do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do it a little longer, please, Derek.

[Derek]

It's time for your meds, miss Gingerbread. Come on, let's go get your breads.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So there's a twang. We've got a twang.

[Jake Johnson]

Can we hear both of you guys talking to the cat together in your voices?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Derek]

Gin. You got.

[Irene]

A little monkey.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth, how do you talk to your cat? Be honest here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm trying to think because, you know, this is a very. It's a very private thing, but it would be like. It would be like, oh, little buddy. Who's my little buddy, huh? Yeah, little guy. Oh, it'd be like that.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so we're getting a picture.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And Jake, how do you talk to your gorilla in the yard? That's made of stone.

[Jake Johnson]

Come here. Give me a little kiss. I won't tell nobody if you don't tell nobody I love you. So, question for you two. What happened with the song? Walk us through that. Take us home on this. What happened?

[Irene]

Derek, do you want to or should I?

[Derek]

You go ahead.

[Irene]

I mean, it just felt so natural and organic. I feel of a process. It really, I think, because Derek's a real musician, and I'm. I mean, I guess I'm a little bit real, but he really. Yeah. And so it really just. It just felt like it was flowing out of us, mostly out of.

[Jake Johnson]

Really?

[Irene]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So. So what you're saying is essentially. Oh, go ahead, Derek.

[Derek]

No, I was going to give you guys some more kudos because the advice also did help me, like, I had to dust off my cobwebs and get back into the music mindset, and I really did that. So. So it was good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So where we kind of headed is you guys made a song for the cat. Derek, you kind of got back into it, and so we have a Mr. Mrs. Gingerbread song now. Are we able to listen to the Mrs. Gingerbread song? I would hope that that would be. We do have the song. Yeah. Thank you, Jesse.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, do you guys want to say anything before we in the audience hears this song?

[Irene]

I think it speaks for itself.

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Derek]

Definitely.

[Jake Johnson]

Derek, you feel the same way?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Do you want to dedicate it to Mrs. Gingerbread and your voices real quick, and then we'll throw to it? Okay.

[Irene]

Yeah, me too.

[Jake Johnson]

Derek, did you just do her Mr. Gingerbread voice?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I believe so.

[Derek]

And we're seeing a little confusing right now. I don't know where I am, what my voice is.

[Jake Johnson]

I fully understand. I get it. You just mirrored and it works.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. We've got a picture of Mrs. Gingerbread, who's adorable. Let's hear it. We'll cut this silent part out or keep it in.

[Jake Johnson]

Who knows?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, sure.

[Derek]

It's part of the song.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you start with a minute of. I like.

[Jake Johnson]

I would cut that next time, though.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Next time I release this on Spotify.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I, I, I think people will think it's not working. I mean, I think that's the only.

[Derek]

We did fight the silence a bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. The creative. I love the.

[Jake Johnson]

How long is the silence, by the way? Less. More or less than five minutes?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm being told it's five minutes on the dot.

[Jake Johnson]

Ah, let's get rid of it. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I agree.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's cut it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow. This is.

[F]

I love you. Love you, love you. I.

[Jake Johnson]

Like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love it. This is beautiful. It's great.

[Jake Johnson]

This is gonna go. This Is gonna be huge for you guys. This cat's changed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is big.

[Irene]

I know. I'm scared.

[Jake Johnson]

Should be. Your cat's ready. Doing cocaine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's great. It's funny because we kind of know the acapella version. To hear it sort of translated into a song. Dog.

[Jake Johnson]

We get a sense of Derek. This is the couple.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right. Oh, my God.

[Jake Johnson]

You know, we'll do. At the end of this, at the end of the episode, we'll just play the song without us talking over it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

In case people just want that too. This is a. You know what? If anybody's getting married, please, please, somebody do this as your first dance and film it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is.

[Jake Johnson]

This is. A first dance at a wedding would be incredible. Can you imagine? Or like a father daughter dance.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Jake Johnson]

Or a mother groom dance. Incredible. A grandma looking around like, what the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The pitch of it being at a wedding is awesome.

[Jake Johnson]

This is also great at a Halloween party. Like a spooky. It really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It really does feel like in a mo. Like in a John Hughes movie when the main character finally gets this. The person they want and there's like a scene where they're kind of dancing. Finally.

[Jake Johnson]

I beg any of our listeners, try to have sex to this song, please.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we are begging people. Sorry, we don't. We don't mean to sour. What is a beautiful cat song. But please, if you're here, the song and you're gonna have sex with this.

[Jake Johnson]

Song or whatever you do to it, if you can work out to it, imagine lifting really heavy weights to this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure. Sex is great. Chunky little monkey.

[Jake Johnson]

Or play this for a kid as it's going to bed. If you have a young kid, this could be like their lullaby song.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And the purring at the end. Oh, whoa, whoa. The end, guys. Oh, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

10 out of 10. 10 out of 10.

[Irene]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll be honest too.

[Jake Johnson]

Excellent.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not only is it great. Did you go through this, Jake? I saw 3 minutes, 10 seconds and I thought, whoa, so long. It flew by.

[Jake Johnson]

Agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's really good.

[Jake Johnson]

It was great. Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's great.

[Irene]

We knew there was a three minute limit, but we thought it was so good that it would be okay to go past that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, the ending is great. It's a great little wrap.

[Jake Johnson]

I ask our listeners to. And we will actually just do the same thing at the end where we won't talk over it. If it inspires anything in your life, let us know. That could. There could be a follow up just to the song.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Totally.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that's. I Think that's a real we're here to help banger.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love it. I think it's the best original piece of music that we've been involved in as producers, which we are technically, legally. The question is twofold.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One, do you feel like we've solved this? Can we ring the bell? And two, do you think there's going to be more songs?

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth, let us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let us know what.

[Irene]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The answers.

[Irene]

Derek, you want to take this one?

[Derek]

Well, I mean, the voice is still kind of not great, but the song is awesome, so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Derek]

And we're making more music, so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We are.

[Derek]

I'd say it's a win.

[Irene]

But, Dee, let me tell you something about your voice, which I have told you before, is that when I met Derek, I was so enamored. And then one time, maybe a few months in, I heard the voice, his cat voice, And I thought it was the first time. I thought, could I listen to this every day?

[Derek]

Well, I think you're talking about the way I call her into a room. And that is.

[Irene]

Yeah. And you know, that maybe it just evens out.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Derek, can we hear what happens when you call that cat into a room?

[Derek]

Brace yourself. Are you ready?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure. Well, I can't believe we. Yeah, I.

[Jake Johnson]

That's.

[Derek]

I think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it's shocking to come at the bottom of the ninth.

[Jake Johnson]

Derek, how could you not have let out with that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Derek, I'm just. Listen, we love you. You're part of the team.

[Jake Johnson]

We said do a voice, and you said, it's just a little Southern at the end. And then you did, like, it's just my regular voice with a Tang. And then we end on this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I don't think you can be throwing stones, Derek.

[Jake Johnson]

Can you just really fast call the. How you call the cat three times at a little bit louder of volume so we could just hear it cleanly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Me.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Derek]

All right.

[Jake Johnson]

Question for you, too. Question for you two lovebirds. Where did you two guys met? How did this thing start?

[Ally]

And imagine if you had cupid.

[Irene]

Okay, Cupid.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, Cupid. So this has to be a wild advertisement. Guess what? We just got a new sponsor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God, they're back.

[Jake Johnson]

If you are one in a billion, we might have a match for you. Hello, Mrs. Ginger.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll kick you.

[Jake Johnson]

Both of your families were like, they're wonderful. They got a weird thing with cat voices.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank God.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Well, listen, you two, we appreciate it. Also, just before we let you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake, I'm gonna hit it before we go.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, you got the bell?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I got the bell. I know it doesn't register on Zoom, but the bell's been running song we've written.

[Irene]

Thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

We love it. We love the song. What's next for you two lovebirds?

[Irene]

I think we're gonna keep making sweet music together.

[Jake Johnson]

Great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You guys gonna do more cat stuff or other stuff? Where are you guys at?

[Irene]

Yeah, maybe, like, we're thinking of calling it the ginger Band or Mrs. Ginger and the Breads.

[Derek]

Ginger Band.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, if you guys name your band and make new songs, will you send it to us? And we'll just put. Put at the end of an episode, we'll just do a quick. Do a little intro. This is the Gingerbreads presenting, and we'll just throw it on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Could be Mrs. Gingerbread and the Helpers, too. Just a pitch, just to get our stuff out there a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, that's interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not a bad idea. All right, Derek is there. Cool attitude, Derek. Cool attitude.

[Derek]

It's just like the producers, though, to come in to change everything and kind of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, it's just. Hey, it's just a pitch, okay? It's just a pitch.

[Jake Johnson]

It was a great pitch, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a great pitch, Jake. But you know what? Derek's difficult to work with, as some artists are. And listen, we love the music. We love the product, but look, I mean, you know, maybe difficult.

[Jake Johnson]

Will you yell for the cat one more time?

[Derek]

Listen to the brand. Okay, it's at the end of the song, so you can.

[Jake Johnson]

It's pretty good. So what? Let's really quick pitch on names for the band. What do you guys want the name of the band to be?

[Irene]

I think it should be Mrs. Ginger and the Breads, and he thinks it should be the Ginger Band.

[Derek]

I know. And I have a new one, though. My new one is Mrs. Gingerbread and the Ginger Band, which I thought was.

[Irene]

What do you guys think?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like. I like the first one, and it's not because Derek and I have beef.

[Jake Johnson]

What was the first one again?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mrs. Ginger in the Breads.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, this is Ginger.

[Derek]

I hate. I've asked several people, and everyone prefers that one.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, really?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's weird sometimes. Derek, your pickers off? I don't know.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, listen, you two, we're gonna let you go. We appreciate the call. Please send us the music as it comes in. We're big fans. Friends.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Irene]

All right. Thank you so much.

[Derek]

Thank you, Mrs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gingerbread. Hi.

[Jake Johnson]

One of the best. Okay, I will appreciate you guys. We're here to help. Is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod gmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] hereto helppod to see our entire catalog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions Executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis Associate Producer Jesse Thurston Editing, mix and Master by Chris Faller Theme song by Oliver Raleigh the COVID artwork is by James Fosdike animations by Andrew Strelecki and if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Reynolds Remember, all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[F]

I love you, love you, love you I thinking of you I love you very much oh how I love you every white you I love you, love you, love you I'm always thinking of you I tell that you're thinking of me too. I love your magic in your way. You're a perfect little cat just for me. I love you, I love you I'm always thinking of you and I will be flowing to my oh how high up your mischievous gingerbread on your w shape. I love you, love you, love you I am a always thinking of you. I wish I could your feel oh how I love you Mrs. Gingerbread you are touched. You're my monkey, little monkey, my junky little monkey. Which is why I love you so much.

[Irene]

All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th.

[G]

Go to patreon.com forward/heretohelpod hey, it's Nicole Byer here. Let me ask you something. Are you tired of endless swiping on dating apps? Fed up with awkward first dates and disappointing hookups? Girl Same. Welcome to why won't you date me? The podcast where I figure out love and how to suck less at dating. Each week, I get real with comedians, friends and celebrities about their love lives. We swap dates, fleeting horror stories, awkward hookups, and dive into the messy and wonderful world of relationships. I've chatted with amazing guests like Conan O'Brien, Whitney Cummings, Sarah Silverman, Trixie Mattel, Tiffany Hadditch, and so many more. So whether you're single, mingling or booed up, there's something in it for everyone. Tune into why Won't yout Date Me With Me, Nicole Byer and discover insights that might just save you from your next dating disaster. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts, and catch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes drop every Friday.