154: Butt Glove & Pocket Tuna

Summary

Podcast Summary: "We're Here to Help" Episode 154: Butt Glove & Pocket Tuna

Release Date: March 17, 2025

In Episode 154 of "We're Here to Help," hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds of Headgum, listeners are treated to a series of unique and humorous advice segments addressing intriguing personal dilemmas. This episode, titled "Butt Glove & Pocket Tuna," delves into quirky situations ranging from unconventional skincare mishaps to feline fidelity issues, all delivered with the hosts' trademark wit and camaraderie.

---

1. Introduction and Host Banter ([02:28] - [05:03])

The episode kicks off after the initial advertisements, with Jake and Gareth discussing their upcoming plans for the podcast. They contemplate the balance between solo episodes and those featuring guests or experts, highlighting their desire to maintain the show's fun and spontaneous nature while occasionally bringing in outside perspectives.

Notable Quote:

• Jake Johnson ([03:24]): "The show is going to keep evolving and changing. I don't know what's going to happen. The Garfman doesn't know what's going to happen."

---

2. Listener Call: Katie's "Butt Glove" Conundrum ([15:02] - [35:08])

Problem Overview: Katie, a listener from Los Angeles, calls in with an unusual predicament: her girlfriend, Becca, has been using Katie's exfoliating glove—dubbed the "butt glove"—to wash her face. This mix-up has gone unnoticed for over a year, leading to awkwardness and unsanctioned skincare practices.

Key Discussion Points:

• Jake and Gareth empathize with Katie's discomfort and guide her through addressing the issue without confrontation.
• They suggest practical solutions such as separating exfoliating gloves by color and communicating the importance of personal skincare tools.
• The hosts role-play the conversation Katie might have with Becca, providing a mock scenario to illustrate effective communication.

Notable Quotes:

• Katie ([19:18]): "I cannot get myself to tell her. She has been washing her face with my butt glove for a year."
• Gareth Reynolds ([20:26]): "We're here to help. Go to Target, go to CVS. Grab two new ones."
• Jake Johnson ([25:31]): "Listen to it on a podcast. What's the podcast? Your skin and you."

Advice Given:

• Katie is encouraged to discreetly introduce the idea of separate exfoliating gloves to avoid embarrassment.
• Jake and Gareth stress the importance of approaching the topic gently, emphasizing personal hygiene without making Becca feel accused or embarrassed.

---

3. Listener Call: Abby's Wandering Cat, Lewis ([38:59] - [58:57])

Problem Overview: Abby from Dayton, Ohio, shares her distress over her cat, Lewis, who has increasingly wandered away and now prefers the company of neighbors, leading to concerns about his loyalty and Abby's feelings of neglect.

Key Discussion Points:

• The hosts explore the emotional bond between Abby and Lewis, acknowledging the deep affection pets hold in their owners' lives.
• They discuss strategies for reconnecting with Lewis, such as creating welcoming environments and using familiar voices or treats to entice him back.
• Jake and Gareth humorously navigate the complexities of pet behavior, mixing sincere advice with comedic elements.

Notable Quotes:

• Abby ([43:11]): "I feel like my head always goes the hot rod."
• Gareth Reynolds ([49:33]): "You're dealing with some pain. You're dealing with this on your own."
• Jake Johnson ([51:55]): "I view it more like a kid. So you didn't really break up. The kid just felt like you started a whole new family."

Advice Given:

• The hosts suggest practical steps such as ensuring Lewis has a comfortable and inviting space to return to.
• They recommend reinforcing the bond through positive interactions and possibly consulting with a veterinarian to rule out any behavioral issues.
• Emphasis is placed on patience and understanding Lewis's newfound preferences while maintaining hope for his return.

---

4. Listener Call: Kirby's Camping Catastrophe ([59:38] - [72:10])

Problem Overview: Kirby recounts her attempt to surprise her husband by "ditching" him in the woods for his birthday, inspired by their favorite survival TV shows. The plan backfires amid a tropical storm, leading to a chaotic overnight and strained marital dynamics.

Key Discussion Points:

• Jake and Gareth dissect the feasibility of Kirby's plan, highlighting the unrealistic expectations set by reality TV.
• They humorously explore the outcomes of the failed camping trip, discussing the importance of understanding partners' preferences and consent in surprise scenarios.
• The hosts reflect on their own experiences and past advice, acknowledging instances where their guidance may not have yielded the desired results.

Notable Quotes:

• Kirby ([61:07]): "He came home in the worst mood ever, just not wanting to participate."
• Jake Johnson ([66:50]): "What were you bullied at him? Why would he need a survivor episode in his life?"
• Gareth Reynolds ([69:30]): "I want to say two things. I want to say one, just since we're, you know, going at each other."

Advice Given:

• The hosts advise Kirby to focus on open communication and mutual planning rather than unilateral surprises.
• They emphasize the importance of aligning expectations and ensuring that both partners are comfortable with any planned activities.
• Jake and Gareth humorously suggest alternative surprise ideas that are more considerate and less likely to cause distress.

---

5. Hosts' Reflections and Final Thoughts ([72:10] - [72:10])

As the episode concludes, Jake and Gareth reflect on the varied nature of the advice given and the importance of tailoring solutions to individual circumstances. They acknowledge the challenges inherent in providing advice for unconventional problems but reaffirm their commitment to assisting listeners in the most helpful and entertaining way possible.

Notable Quote:

• Jake Johnson ([68:22]): "This show is about you have a problem calling me try to help you. You guys go camping and have dinner and have a lot of fun."

---

Conclusion

Episode 154 of "We're Here to Help" masterfully blends humor with genuine advice, addressing listeners' unique and often bizarre dilemmas. Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds demonstrate their ability to navigate awkward situations with empathy and comedic flair, making complex interpersonal issues both relatable and entertaining. Whether it's resolving skincare tool mix-ups or dealing with wandering pets and misguided surprises, the hosts provide thoughtful guidance wrapped in their signature humor, ensuring listeners feel both understood and amused.

Key Takeaways:

• Effective communication is crucial in addressing personal dilemmas without causing additional friction.
• Understanding and empathy can bridge gaps in relationships, even when dealing with unconventional issues.
• Maintaining a balance between humor and sincerity enhances the advisory process, making solutions more palatable and memorable.

For those who haven't listened to the episode, "We're Here to Help" offers a delightful mix of relatable advice and laughter, making it a must-listen for anyone seeking both solutions and entertainment.

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah. Every time I use booking.com to find a place to stay in the US I know they'll have exactly what I am looking for. They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals. And I know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. I found booking.com has something for everyone, for me and even for the Garf man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have a run of shows coming up in Texas in the next couple weeks and found a great place since I'll be staying with other people. Has a place for stuff we all want. We got a big kitchen for my buddy. I found a little area where I can podcast and have my microphone set up like a little weirdo. But truly, it's great for business trips. It's great for vacation rentals. If you want a hotel, you always can find exactly what you're looking for. And that's true. I mean it. Every time I'm trying to find a place to stay in the U.S. i know that they're going to have my back.

[Jake Johnson]

So no matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay. That's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking. Yeah.

[Katie]

This new year, why not let Audible expand your life by listening? Explore over 1 million audiobooks, podcasts, and exclusive Audible originals that'll inspire and motivate you. Tap into your well being with advice and insight from leading professionals and experts on better health, relationships, career, finance, investing, and more. Maybe you want to kick a bad.

[Jake Johnson]

Habit or start a good one.

[Katie]

If you're interested in learning how to master your emotions and hearing scientifically backed advice for using your emotions as a tool, may I suggest Shift by psychologist and bestseller author Dr. Ethan Krause? Trust me, listening on Audible can help you reach the goals you set for yourself. Start listening today when you sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.com wondery. That's audible.com wondery.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we.

[Jake Johnson]

We are back. Back. You want to hear something funny? I was thinking about this morning that my brother used to do to me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh?

[Jake Johnson]

My brother, who's been on their show, not with me. We should do one to three.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You know, we were talking about actually this year. You and I were texting last night. Should we just share it with the people?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you. This is your idea. It's a great one.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Uh, so we are contractually doing. So a lot of the stuff people will be bringing up. There's a lot of stuff people don't know about. There's behind the scenes stuff with how this business works, where ads come in, how things go, how we do everything. There's just stuff that we're always trying to figure out. Correct.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Correct.

[Jake Johnson]

And so we were saying we have 52 episodes this year that we're going to do on a Monday. And we would like to do the majority of them, the Garf man and myself. But the fun of a guest every once in a while is. Is fun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

And then we're like, but if we're only doing one a week, because we did two a week so long. You're like, I don't know. It's bumping into the fun of us doing our stuff. So then we were. I was texting Gareth. Maybe we'll just do the occasional extra episode.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We feel like we got a banger.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. And also, like, that's if one. If like you have somebody and you guys just do a call or if that's a weird interview and it turns into one call along. And because we were doing interviews for all, sometimes it'd be fun to chat. And also for the Thursdays guys, edit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake actually means Wednesdays.

[Jake Johnson]

They might be a little different. The show's going to keep evolving and changing. I don't know what's going to happen. The Garfman doesn't know what's going to happen. But we're going to play with the idea of the occasional second episode a week being a little free form because I also wouldn't mind the occasional if you got something fun or I got something fun. Could drop a 20 minute episode.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just you and I think that's right.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you think? There's rules to this thing. They're podcasts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Beauty of it.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's not forget that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree. And I think that as we know, our fans will tell us what they think and.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. But also our fans are loyal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And they get. But they. They're in a very. They're in a weird relationship with us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Morgan told me that.

[Jake Johnson]

Morgan, our new social media Patreon director and friend of mine, we did a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Catch up to kind of introduce her to the Patreon audience yesterday.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, fun. Without me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Jake, you're the hot shot.

[Jake Johnson]

You're the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm the. I'm Jesus. Sad.

[Jake Johnson]

Totally.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was actually recording a podcast that doesn't exist called Jake and His Friends. Jake, Jake and Buds.

[Jake Johnson]

Jake and Buds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And it's just you and your weird. Your weird statues from your Yard.

[Katie]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But. But she was saying that because I did a gill thing. I like Gil, answered questions. And I was like. I was very like. And the people are probably happy to see old Gilly Bean again. She's like, some. Some were very open with the idea that they don't care for Gil at all. I was like this tough to hear. I mean, it was like a half hour of me just like, what a blast. Riffing on questions. And I was like, at the end, I was like, that was madness. But that was pretty funny.

[Jake Johnson]

That's a blast, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Some people really did not care for it.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, a funny thing about this show and everything, and I'm sad that once I didn't realize how podcasts work. I thought when you did an ad in a show, it was embedded and it was for good. And so part of the thing about YouTub, those ads have to be recorded. They prefer them in person and they're embedded in. So it's a different animal. But I wish, or at least I thought all those ads would live forever. So that if you find this show and let's say we keep going and it's season four, you could see the entire evolution of how we started Gil, how it began. If you remember, I was at first giving you direction.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

We were doing the joke of I was going to direct you in the spots.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. And then it was a whole lot line.

[Jake Johnson]

The funniest stuff happened behind the scenes where Kevin and I would get calls from Headgum. Then being like, is there any way to not do Gil? Because people are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, we were. And then every now and then, we'll still have a promo code where I'll be like, gil sent me. And be like, that's strange. That's really. Those people. Those people over there, like, wherever, are hanging in there.

[Jake Johnson]

It's really funny stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then somebody's like, gil, send me. What the fuck is that? But. But, yeah, so I think, like, sort of what you were alluding to. I mean, we are always kind of tinkering and we're trying to do some longer intros now.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, so that the show has a little bit more breath up top as well as.

[Jake Johnson]

So that we can rant a little bit left on calls. Because a lot of times, you know, we like talking to each other and goofing around and we're trying to make the callers the big star.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

But it's fun to goof around and do bits a little bit also when.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The calls are really good.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like we don't need to do much more than try to problem solve them.

[Jake Johnson]

That's right. By the way, I saw really fast this really funny Instagram clip. Oh, any of our stuff we're gonna do on Instagram, by the way. Any of the images.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

That are like really big on the show. If you're like, hey, I wanted to see that. We'll always post it to our Instagram so you'll always see the main images.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're here to help Instagram.

[Jake Johnson]

I just saw one. I posted it on my story today because it made me laugh so hard. It was a guy in Philly and it said, this dude will believe anything. And the guy's going, oh, that sea turtle just escaped. And the guy, he goes a bit some kid's head off. And the guy's like, what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the best. It's. It's awful because that poor guy was just like sitting somewhere. Just like, oh my God.

[Jake Johnson]

Did I tell you what we. What we used to do to my dad, my brother and I?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but say it again.

[Jake Johnson]

We used to. We. My dad was very gullible, like the guy in the video. So if you haven't seen the video, see the video. It's so funny. It's a guy being told to his sea turtle escape the zoo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's like, the guy off camera is so. He's like, he's like, I'm just telling. He's like how he bit his head off. He's like, yeah, the whole thing. I was talking to Karen down at the WTMI News.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, he's like, oh my God, those poor kids.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's such an empath.

[Jake Johnson]

And then we used to do my dad. Cuz my dad would do that. We'd be. My brother and I'd be sitting on the couch and the game was to try to get my dad to say different phrases without asking why. So my brother would text me watermelons and then I would go like watermelons. Then he would go like watermelons and handgun. So I'd go like, oh. And so I'd go like, hey, dad. He go. I go, what's that huge fruit that's pink inside? You go, a huge fruit. I go, you know, you cut it, it tastes really good. You have it this summer on like the fourth of July, watermelons. And I go, look at my finger. What am I making with my. When I go, you had a gun. I know, but what is it? Right? A little gun. No, no, no. With my. A handgun. And what are those two words together? Watermelon handgun. And you take a beat. My brother would say, good job. My dad would not follow up with it. I would text my brother two new words. G could play this game. And I'm not exaggerated. Sometimes up to an hour. Oh, God. And then when we'd laugh, he would go, you guys always laugh at the dumbest stuff. You're like little kids laughing about nothing. And I, I, I would be crying, laughing. And then right away there'd be a pause. And then he'd be like, princess's amusement park. Like, never ask why we're here. His brain never thought, these are weird questions. He just left. This is a human conversation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's why it's great. It's just a blind spot for how to like be a human. Because it's like, I would eventually be like, I'm not doing that.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Right away you'd go, why are you asking?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what a watermelon is and.

[Jake Johnson]

Why are you doing this? The fact that he did, he just saw, like, this is what it's like to talk to your sons on a Saturday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kids are crazy.

[Jake Johnson]

He is just the best. What a character. Let's get into the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, without further ado.

[Jake Johnson]

This wonderful episode of We're Here to Help your favorite podcast. Our favorite podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't say enough good stuff about Squarespace. Every website that I'm involved in is Squarespace for many reasons. It's awesome. It's got design intelligence, it's industry leading design expertise with cutting edge AI technology to unlock your creative potential. There's Squarespace Payments. The easy way to manage your payments in one place with Squarespace makes onboarding fast, simple social and multimedia accounts, invoicing you can sell your content. I mean, Squarespace is looking to help you. It makes it easy to sell access to content on your websites, online courses, blogs. Go to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch atohelp to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code here to help. Really go get them.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode of We're Here to Help is sponsored by hungryroot. Hungryroot is a very easy and stress free way for me to get groceries as opposed to ordering groceries or going grocery shopping. It comes straight to your house. The food is healthy, it's delicious and it is easy. I am a fan of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, hungry root is just a less stressful way to get groceries. A lot of times, like I'll be trying to eat healthy. You know, I try to eat so many vegetables. But then you're at the store and maybe your mind starts drifting and you're like, maybe I don't need to eat vegetables. You need to eat vegetables. You are a grown human. What are you, a child? This isn't big be it be an actual human. So what I love about hungryroot is they do all that for you. You pick what you're after. Hungryroot does it all for you. It's like having a personal shopper and a nutritionist all wrapped into one. Speaking of wraps, they have wraps. Take advantage of this exclusive offer for a limited time. Get 40% off your first box plus get a free item in every box for life. Go to hungryroot.com here to help and use code here to help. That's hungryroot.com hereto help. Code here to to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. That's hungryroot.com here to help code here to help this episode of We're Here.

[Jake Johnson]

To help is sponsored by DraftKings. The great rewards hunt is on. So join the adventure with DraftKings Casino. For fun seekers, follow the trail to huge jackpots, weekly bonuses and exclusive games. But the excitement is only getting started because new players can get 500 casino spins on a featured game. Just sign up with code HTH and wager a minimum of $5 to receive 500 casino spins on a featured game. Only on the most rewarding place to play. Draft Kings Casino. Only on the most rewarding place to play. DraftKings Casino. The crown is yours.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gambling problem. Call 1-800- gambler in Connectic. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-78-9-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly. 21/physically present in Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia only. Void in Connecticut and Ontario eligibility restrictions apply. New customers only. Non withdrawable casino spins Valid for feature games only and expire in 168 hours. See [e-mail] promos ends 42725 at 11:59pm Eastern. Oh, fuck. Hello?

[Katie]

Hello.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Having a little giggle, are you? Not on our watch. Can we get your name?

[Jake Johnson]

I hear is. First thing you hear is what off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're really tickled with something we have in the works over here. What's your name, please?

[Katie]

My name's Katie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi, Katie. Welcome to the show Hi. Where are you calling from, Katie?

[Katie]

Los Angeles.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Beautiful la.

[Katie]

What part beautiful la? Culver City.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you think of the Culver? Culver Hotel where the munchkins from the wizard of Ozol stayed in the 30s.

[Katie]

Well, it's gorgeous and haunted and supposedly the little people had massive orgies while.

[Jake Johnson]

Filming the wizard of Oz as well. As they ran wild, they parted their asses off, they didn't pay their bills and they were all having sex non stop. These are all true stories, Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that right?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. The. The lollipop movie were wild.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. That's the movie.

[Jake Johnson]

That's the movie I want to see the greatest thing. They were true. Old world Hollywood. Oh. I mean old like traveling around the world performers. And then they got a big gig on a Hollywood mov. They just took that per diem and said like we are turning this hotel into a party fest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that is awesome.

[Katie]

And as they should.

[Jake Johnson]

As they sh. You know you do people have those moments in time where they go like if you can go back in time and talk to anybody living or dead. The dinner party question. My real answer is always to party in that hotel. To just say on a day around.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They'Re not shooting the next day and.

[Jake Johnson]

Go like how was work today? And have them like talk trash about like Judy Garland and be like. Like Judy's great. Hear what the. The lion's all about and then just let it rip and have a full on party and be like, this was the greatest party of my life.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You hanging around for the orgy.

[Jake Johnson]

Can we get your problem today?

[Katie]

Yeah, sure. Do you know what a Brazilian wax is?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh boy. Howdy, do we.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth gets them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you gotta keep it. Yeah, that's. Yeah. By the way, from hole to hole, that's the goal.

[Jake Johnson]

I wouldn't be surprised.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on now.

[Jake Johnson]

And then when I brought it up, you would get defensive.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I mean, look, it's a lot of. A lot of guys do it and. What are you saying? You shaming. You've never. You. I'll tell you, I haven't lived until you.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh yeah, it's a lot better with your huge bush down there, Jake. And I'd go like. And now I'm lost, Gary. And now to call Bergen. I go, Gareth is a Brazilian wax. Yeah, no, I knew that about him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Boy, he has really gone wild lately.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, Katie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We have to.

[Katie]

So. Yes, you know, to Brazilian waxes. I get one once a month. Keep it. That's a lot down there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Once a month. You're dealing with some pain.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Katie]

You know, the more you get it, the less it hurts.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, but what you do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Katie]

What you have to do is to keep it good down there. You have to exfoliate it. Right. So I have an exfoliating glove. It prevents ingrowns, like irritation things. Things like that. So in the shower, I have a specific exfoliating glove that I use just for the downtown area when I shower.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You got a butt?

[Katie]

Yeah. Butt glove. That's a great term. That's. I like that. I have a girlfriend, and we've been essentially living together for the last year, and it didn't come to my attention until recently. I took a shower shortly after her, and the butt glove was. Was wet, like it had been used. And I was like, huh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, boy.

[Katie]

And then she started talking more and more about exfoliating her face.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[Katie]

It was confirmed when I came home and I went into our bathroom, and she was washing her face in the sink with my exfoliating butt glove. And I truly have. And it's been, like, over a month now. It's been a couple months since I figured it out. I cannot get myself to tell her.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you letting her butt glove wash?

[Katie]

I don't know how to tell her that. She. For the last year, she has been. She has been washing her face with my butt and vagina gloves.

[Jake Johnson]

Katie, we. We have. You're. You're in a ship where water's coming in and it's coming in fast. You can't just sit there and go, I don't know what to do. The first thing we got to do, and I'm sorry to use this term, but we got to plug the hole.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We got to plug the hole.

[Jake Johnson]

We have to stop her from washing her face with your butt glove. Then we can deal with the problem that she's still currently doing it. So for starters, that glove leaves the shower with you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How are you. How is this like you're dating her?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. They live together.

[Katie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How are you comfortable? Are you going in for kisses knowing that the butt gloves been rubbing up and down face?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Katie, this is a selfish solve. This is not like a roommate who's just using your butt glove that you don't really care for. Like, whatever, let him exfoliate. This is. This is also. This affects you. You've got a butt glove partner.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Kenny, tell me this. Why haven't. Why haven't you told her?

[Katie]

I haven't told her because I feel like if I found. I don't. It's a little it's gross. It's a little embarrassing. And I don't have. I just don't want her to feel sad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I understand.

[Katie]

I've been doing what for a year?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, there's probably a solve in this. That is not telling her.

[Jake Johnson]

Interesting. Well, we haven't got there yet, but you're not wrong, Gareth. And then here's my other question. Why do we leave the buck glove in the shower knowing that this wonderful girlfriend of yours is scrubbing her face.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Locked up like a gun?

[Jake Johnson]

Can. Can we take it. Can we take it out of the shower? It's for starters. Can it travel with you like, like in a dorm when, you know, with a shared shower situation, you would bring a little bucket in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can we write from. For taints and anuses only on it?

[Jake Johnson]

Eventually we could, but we can't.

[Katie]

Right now I can hardly remember to bring my keys to my car, nevermind every time I'm about to get in the shower. But I need it. I need it. I can't have like ingrowns. You get.

[Jake Johnson]

I got you.

[Katie]

It's. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so we are in a situ. So for the first thing you do is the one you have. How expensive are these?

[Katie]

Oh, they're like five bucks. Ten bucks.

[Jake Johnson]

Throw it out. Okay. The one you've been using, you throw out.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And I'm gonna tell you why. I don't think we. I don't think we're gonna pitch going backwards. I think we're gonna pitch going forward.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

And I think what you do is you get two new exfoliators.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

One of them you say to her, hey, this one's for our faces. This one's for my butt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. This one's for you to use however you want or not even you.

[Jake Johnson]

We're not going backwards.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I also don't think what? But we're going backwards. If you're saying.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on. No, you say this, this green exfoliator. Green light.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The red brown one.

[Jake Johnson]

Red or brown? Red light.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

That's from a butt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I don't think you tell the butt thing. I think what you say is. Because then you're gonna be like, you've been ass washing for six weeks. Your face. I think you say you're not wrong. I think you say to her, you love the exfoliating gloves so much, I got you your own.

[Jake Johnson]

I have an old school pitch. Okay, Katie, what if we did a podcast as the doctors about the sharing of exfoliates, changes the oil complexion of a face and that you say to her, hey, I bought you this. I think we should each use our own. And here's why. I just read this. I heard this thing where I guess it's like really bad for the skin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To Dr. Pigley and Mo.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. What do you think of something like that, Katie?

[Katie]

I, I, I think I could try that. Yeah, right.

[Jake Johnson]

But like knowing your relationship with her, because what we would have you do is we would just have you text the link to it to her and then go like, heard this. What do you think? Should we just get our own stuff?

[Katie]

It's like, yeah, yeah, I can definitely try that. It's like, I'm not.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, let's talk.

[Katie]

Let's talk.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. No, no, I don't, you, I don't want you to want to tell her seed into this. We want this to help you. This isn't about us doing goofy voices. Sorry.

[Katie]

Well, I don't want to tell her per se, but we haven't even talked about like, I mean, I would almost argue that, like sharing an exfoliating thing in general. Like, I wouldn't use someone else's. Right, Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So are you saying you want to open this to a boundary conversation?

[Katie]

No, definitely not. I don't want to. I don't want it to have to.

[Jake Johnson]

Katie's not even like, hey, I know.

[Katie]

You'Ve been using this.

[Jake Johnson]

No, Katie is a non confrontational animal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What I would do is why not just say that you listen to something. You listen to something where they sort of talked about how sharing something like that isn't a good idea because you're sharing someone else's skin oils. It can change the makeup of your skin. It can make it so that your face wash stops whatever the it is and give her her own and be like, so, here you go, here's yours, here's mine. Let's keep them separate then. You don't even need to tell her that she's been scraping her face with your butt. What?

[Jake Johnson]

What do you think of that?

[Katie]

Yeah, I think that's good.

[Jake Johnson]

How about this? Pull out your phone right now. Let's just get the text going.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on.

[Katie]

Oh, it's going to be a text?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you're gonna say.

[Jake Johnson]

You're gonna see because she might text. What is she doing right now? Is there any chance she might text you back right away?

[Katie]

She, she's just working. She's just at home working. I just went out on an errand, okay?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Probably in the mirror looking at some weird acne. She can't figure out where it came from.

[Jake Johnson]

My chin smells terrible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, everything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I never had a pimple. That smells bad.

[Jake Johnson]

Every time I eat a sandwich, it smells like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How do you get hemorrhoids on your mouth?

[Jake Johnson]

So how about this as a starting text, Katie?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, bud face. Oh, go ahead, Jake. Sorry. All right, go ahead.

[Jake Johnson]

Real mature, dude. Real grown up. We are professional advice givers. How about this, Katie? Hey, just heard on a pod that sharing. What are they called? Exfoliates.

[Katie]

Exfoliate. Exfoliating gloves.

[Jake Johnson]

Sharing is really bad for the skin. I'm out. Should I just pick up one new one for each of us?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No question. I'd say you're going to. I'm going to buy us each one of our own.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you think of that?

[Katie]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I can try this. I think she's gonna be like, why are you even thinking about this? Why would you need two new. Like.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, well, but then hold on. Then we gotta so send that text right now because I know if sands.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or butts and spell butts with two. And.

[Jake Johnson]

And then what we could do. Real mature. Then what we.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know my role.

[Jake Johnson]

Then what we could do. We'll just have it. To have it. It is. We'll make you an audio only of Mr. Pigley and Dr. Mo. Because if it starts getting pushed to it, you could just go. She goes, what were you listening to? You. You can't say you were listening to podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mr. Pickup. Anyone who looks up Mr. Pigley and Dr. Mo.

[Jake Johnson]

The problem with this whole premise, I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can'T believe that that's worked in the past.

[Jake Johnson]

We've made those before. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think what we've done before is we've sent that to people who are, like, older. What's a podcast?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. It's. It only works if it's to a. Yeah. Peer to peer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

What podcast? We listen to Dr. Pigley and Mr. Mo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Have you ever heard of Dr. Pigley and Mr. Mo? It's a kind of weird guy who interviews a doctor who doesn't really know the terms.

[Jake Johnson]

And I'm just getting a minute audio.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where's the podcast? Isn't available fully anywhere.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. This is a stupid pitch.

[Katie]

She doesn't. She doesn't listen to podcasts, though. That's one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, well, we could make it in the back pocket if we wanted it.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. So, Katie, will you send the first text and maybe while we're happening. This might be. We. We just need. Are you comfortable leading out with the advice we're given here?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I think so. I think this is A win. So what are you sending in that text?

[Katie]

So instead of saying, hey, I just heard on a pod that's sharing, I'm gonna say, like, ew, I just heard a podcast that says, like, we share things, you know.

[Jake Johnson]

Perfect. So write that up really fast and hit send. And ideally we get red.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And can you. Can you. Not knowing anything, can you go buy an exfoliating glove real easy?

[Katie]

I can. I could try. I could see.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where do they sell them?

[Katie]

You know, mine was actually from my wax video.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, where's your where? Well, you could actually probably get them at Target. Yeah.

[Katie]

That your CVS or something?

[Jake Johnson]

Cvs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Target.

[Jake Johnson]

Is there a specific one for the butt? What an embarrassing thing to ask for. I just had a colonoscopy. Who am I to talk?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, honestly.

[Jake Johnson]

But also I was walking around with a robe with the back open.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Exfoliating. Not a good look. Exfoliating your ass.

[Jake Johnson]

Speak for yourself, by the way. I wish I did. Before my procedure. They turned you on your side. And there's a moment where I was, I wanted to say, like, sorry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's their job, though.

[Jake Johnson]

I know it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, all they do all day is they're like, cool. All right.

[Jake Johnson]

What a job.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Crack you open.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm professional. So, Katie, did you send the text?

[Katie]

Yeah, yeah, I said, ew. I just heard on a podcast that when you share loofahs and stuff, it changes your skin.

[Jake Johnson]

Ooh. Did she write back?

[Katie]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

Has she read it? Do we know?

[Katie]

I. He's on dnd, but I hit notify anyway because I don't care.

[Jake Johnson]

Ooh, cool. And then say, and today, are you able to just go and buy a new one?

[Gareth Reynolds]

One, two new.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, two new ones. You are. So then what I'd like, we don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Want her face in your butt. It's a two way street.

[Jake Johnson]

Then I would write back in that way. Go in to buy new ones. Gotta throw out the old one too. Yuck. What do you think, Katie?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a lot. It's. It's dramatic. I wonder if we're throwing. The way this is happening, I'm gonna go ahead.

[Katie]

The way this is happening, I'm going to end up having to tell her that she's been washing her face with my butt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We don't want that. I think what you did is just good. Go get two new gloves. Go get a match. Yeah, go get a pair. Different colors.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you think's going to happen when you get home?

[Katie]

She's going to be like, that's so random.

[Jake Johnson]

I know.

[Katie]

Like, you're. You're weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I'm going to be like, I know I'm quirky.

[Jake Johnson]

You know what I'm afraid of, Katie. Yeah, we led you in the wrong direction.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You said send the text.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, because here's why. Because Katie said, I don't know any world where I'm not just going to have to tell her the truth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But here's. I think you're okay. All right. Hang in the pocket. I know we've got some people crushing it right now. Go to Target, go to cvs. Grab two newbies. It's waiting for her when she gets home. Casually throw away. Hey, so you've got your own exfoliator glove. I've got mine, too. I know you think I'm being crazy, but let's just stick in our own lanes.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's do this, Katie. Let's do this. What's your girlfriend's name? Fake.

[Katie]

Yeah, Becca.

[Jake Johnson]

Becca. I'm gonna be Becca. You come home. Let's see what happens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Jake Johnson]

And Gareth. Yes. You can be Becca's co worker and who is on a zoom call in the background and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But is can mute herself to jump into this from time to time.

[Jake Johnson]

Nope. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Because. Because Becca's hosting the meeting. Becca could mute it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

[Jake Johnson]

So before you come in, Katie, we're finishing up a work meeting. Becca was saying something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, that's why I think that we're gonna, like. If we hand stuff like samples out on the street as much as possible, that's a really good way to create a buzz. And if you can get people to take pictures with the product and we car ring light, we can really share that content.

[Jake Johnson]

I think it could be very successful. Hold on. My girlfriend just got home.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, gosh.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, babe, what's up?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey.

[Jake Johnson]

Super random text today.

[Katie]

Just listening to this mute. Did you know that. That if you. If you, like, share exfoliating gloves, like loofahs, that stuff, it changes your skin and it can be really gross for you. And it's. I heard it on a podcast. It grossed me out.

[Jake Johnson]

What podcast.

[Katie]

Mister? Just a podcast with a couple dudes. It's fun. Yeah. It's called your skin and you.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way. Your skin and you is the title.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great.

[Jake Johnson]

I would lead out with that. Listen to it on a podcast. What's the podcast? Your skin and you and then go. It's just. I go just going forward, we should just have separate ones. I hear it's really like each skin has a different oil and go like it's all complicated stuff, but it really grossed me out. Anyway, what's going on with you? Yeah, I. Katie. And all jokes aside, this has been a sloppy call. I think that's gonna work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do too.

[Katie]

Yeah. Because I think I'm actually gonna say that first.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Katie]

And then, like, tomorrow I'll go get some. Not so it's not like I heard it and I went right away.

[Jake Johnson]

Exactly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you're gonna let her wash her face one more time with your ass.

[Jake Johnson]

You are gonna to throw out the glove.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're going to let her put that button mitten on one more time.

[Jake Johnson]

Katie, you go home, you throw out the glove. Tomorrow, you get new ones. You good with that?

[Katie]

Yeah. Good with that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She might not be exfoliating tonight. She should only be doing it once to twice a week.

[Jake Johnson]

But then if she says to you, hey, where is it go? Oh, I'm getting new ones. I heard on this podcast you're skinning you that it's like really bad. It changes the oils if you do it. So I'm going tomorrow. I'll get you one. I'll get my own one. But we can't mix them anymore.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And you know what I would say if I was Becca be okay. I'm not gonna go. Hey, quick question. Have I been cleaning my face with your butt glove for a year? I've never asked that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The months that she's been washing her face.

[Jake Johnson]

It's over. It's in the past. We move on. We don't worry about yesterday. We worry about tomorrow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I'm thinking about yesterday while I'm in tomorrow.

[Jake Johnson]

But let's not, because she doesn't have to. Katie.

[Katie]

Yeah?

[Jake Johnson]

What are you gonna do?

[Katie]

That's exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna just bring it up casually again when we get home, and then. Then I'm gonna get. Throw that shit out and then I'll get some new ones tomorrow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So do you feel good about this plan?

[Katie]

Yeah, I feel good about it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's pull the trigger. Let's burn the old butt mitten and. And then, yeah, onward and upward. And I think less is more. And I would just not overdo it and just leave it so she's not even thinking about it. Maybe even have a secondary topic to shift gears into, too. I think that's right, you know?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Katie, how you. How you feeling? Do you feel like we're in a good zone?

[Katie]

I feel good. I'm super awkward always anyway, so you won't be surprised by anything.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. But I got to tell you, you have not been super awkward in this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's been awkward to have you scrub your butt with a glove and then not tell your girlfriend who's been washing her face with it, though.

[Jake Johnson]

Thanks so much for the call. We appreciate you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep us posted.

[Katie]

Thank you so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, thank you.

[Katie]

All right, bye, guys.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode of We're Here to Help, sponsored by Quince. You want to look good, you gotta wear some quince. Quince has good looking clothes. You like a Mongolian cashmere crew neck. I know you do. You like it at around $50. Get it from Quince, baby. Do you like an iconic 100 leather jacket and versatile flow knit activewear, baby? You get it from Quince. You want to look the part, you want to feel the part, Then you get it from Quince. Stop looking like a slob. Go to Quince.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have this green corduroy jacket that I wear all the time. Lots of times I'm getting ready and I'm like, I don't know what to do. T shirt, corduroy jacket, get out the door. I have Quints jeans. The way they do it is they partner directly with top factories and they cut the cost of the middleman and they pass the savings on to you and me. Indulge in affordable luxury. Go to quince.com heretohelp for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N C E.com heretohelp to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com heretohelp this episode is brought to you by Meundies.

[Jake Johnson]

Meundies are undies that me likes to wear. Quite literally. I'm wearing a pair of me undies right now and I like them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Underwear drawers are like the wild west of wardrobes. We don't know what's going on. Anything goes. You got old pairs. I, I, I'll be honest, it's been sad in there at times. There's pairs I'm hanging on to that just, it's, they're more of a kilt than a set of underwear. It's like a mini skirt. You know what I'm talking about? This is what we do. But me undies makes it so easy to revamp that zone. Every time I reach undies, I know I'm in for some comfort, for a great look. I am hooked. And honestly, they're the only underwear I try to wear.

[Jake Johnson]

Style for everyone from all black, which is what I rock to fun Expressive prints, which Gareth rocks. Me Undies has a look for everyone. Plus they come in all sizes. Extra small for me and 4xL for the garf man, guaranteeing a flattering cut for everybody. Get 20 off your first order, plus free shipping on orders of 75 or [e-mail] here to help. Enter promo code here to help. That's meundies.com here to help dot Code here to help for 20% off me undies. Comfort from the outside in today's episode is brought to you by Alma. Therapy has been something that has been very important to me. But more important than that is finding the right therapist. Because if you got the wrong one, you're just wasting your time. Time. So Alma has helped me find a therapist that actually takes my insurance, and it's made everything very easy. Alma makes it simple to find a therapist. 97 of people seeing a therapist through Alma said that their therapist makes them feel seen and heard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know the deal. It's very difficult to find someone you can trust, someone you feel a human connection to, someone that's kind of an irreplaceable part of your mental health. But that's why Alma has real people. Mental health challenges can be very, very difficult. You can feel alone. But take a break from scrolling for nothing and scroll through Alma's directory to find a therapist who meets your specific needs. Better with people, better with Alma. Visit hello, Alma.com here to help. To get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello, a l m a.com heretohelp alma.com/here to help. Help. Hi, welcome to the show.

[Katie]

Hi.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi. How's it going?

[Katie]

Good. How about you guys?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're great. Having a great session. Can we get your name where you're calling from and your favorite movie, please?

[Katie]

Oh, interesting. Yes. Yeah, it is. My name is Abby. I'm calling from Dayton, Ohio. I feel like my head always so, so dumb, but my head always goes the hot rod. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Hot rod's great.

[Katie]

Yeah. Yeah. So it's like. Yeah, it's one of my ones that fall out of my pocket. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Abby Dayton, hot rod. What the hell is going on?

[Katie]

Yeah. So in 2016, I bought myself a cat as a college graduation gift, which is kind of weird in of itself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But he.

[Katie]

Yeah, sure, he has been the perfect cat. Like, extremely chill. He wants to hang out, but, like, not too much. He doesn't meow too much. And he just generally likes people. So that was great. Had him for, like seven years and then like, three or Four years ago, we started letting him outside because he wanted.

[Jake Johnson]

What's the cat? What's the cat's name?

[Katie]

The cat's name is Lewis.

[Jake Johnson]

Lewis. Okay. So you started letting Lou. You started letting Lou go for walks?

[Katie]

Yes, yes. He likes going outside, totally fine to do it by himself. Doesn't need us there, so he just walks out by himself. He'll stay outside all day, come back at night. We can always just open the door. He just runs right in. Great. Yeah. So we live in a pretty family friendly neighborhood, so, like, there's other cats that roam and, like, kids will stop to pet him, which is great. But then he started not coming home in the evening and coming home in the morning. And then he started. I would go out my front door and then find, like, rabbit heads, like, on my front porch that he had just killed and left.

[Jake Johnson]

Cool. I got an outdoor cat named Peter who does stuff like this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Brings you rabbit heads?

[Jake Johnson]

No, rat heads.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, okay. Totally.

[Katie]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, I. I guess I prefer the rabbit head, but. Yeah, that's pretty gnarly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's good luck, I think.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

But keep going. So Louie goes for walks. He's maybe spending more and more nights out on the streets. He's changing. He's growing up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think. Drugs?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Problem Alley, probably. I mean, it's probably hanging out with a bad crowd of alley cats. But then he leaves you every once in a while, a rabbit head, to let you know he's doing good and he loves you and things are fine.

[Katie]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Katie]

Then he eventually just started not coming home. And he has started to live with the house two doors down. And now it's been. Yes, yes, He. They feed him. He just kind of sits outside of their house. House. And he refuses to come home. And now it's been like, oh, gosh, I don't know, a couple years. And he, like, every time he sees me outside, he crosses to the other side of the street.

[Jake Johnson]

What?

[Katie]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you know the people a couple of houses down?

[Katie]

I don't believe it or not. I know some of the other people in this neighborhood, but those people keep to themselves. And so I've actually never met them. Them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I guess my question would be, what. What do you. What do you want? What? What, like, are you looking for. What would. What would you say is the exact problem?

[Katie]

Sure, that's a great question.

[Jake Johnson]

But that's. I mean, by the way, interesting setup because you let Lou wander. Lewis, do you ever call him Louie?

[Katie]

Yeah, actually.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, I back off.

[Katie]

Okay. And, yeah, we Let him wander.

[Jake Johnson]

And then there's some little kids petting him. He murders a couple of rabbits. And then all of a sudden, he starts getting some good food. And then all of a sudden, he's getting his belly rubbed, he's getting his back rubbed. Something's going on behind his ears. And he goes. I got to say, I like this new house a little bit more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's tough.

[Katie]

Yes. So that's my question is how do I convince him that he had a good life with us and if he's not going to come home, at least to not treat me like scum. Them.

[Jake Johnson]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I. Look, I. I'll be honest. I mean, part of me wants you to get a collar that you put on him that says his name and the owner's number.

[Jake Johnson]

But the new. By the way, the new house lets him out during the day, too. Part of the thing, Gareth, is when Abby sees him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I know. I'm just saying this is a shot across the bow at the other house. This is a way to say, say, we know you're cheating. We know you're the other house.

[Jake Johnson]

You love me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Jake.

[Jake Johnson]

You love me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Does anyone know what this. Abby, you know this song?

[Jake Johnson]

I gotta tell you, Abby, I gotta tell you.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How does this feel coming out of you? Does it feel good?

[Jake Johnson]

I think it sounds great. Yeah.

[Katie]

Yeah, it feels really good.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you. International School. They also had a singing class. Here's my fear, Abby.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Makes no sense.

[Jake Johnson]

So we're. We're with you on this one. I fully get this problem, and I see how it's hard. It's your cat. You love him. You gave him freedom. He found something else. We need to make sure. So the new house isn't like trapping them in, right? Right.

[Katie]

No, no, they let him out. They let him just like roam shows.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In the new house, Right? Yeah, he likes them better. That's why I think.

[Jake Johnson]

But there's a way. So. But what is it about them that they like? You know, this Lou, is an outdoor pay him everything. Right. So do you think it could be the food supply?

[Katie]

It could be.

[Jake Johnson]

But like, I. The route I'm going here, Abby, is. Let's keep it simple. Kiss. Keep it simple, Stupid. I'm not calling you stupid, by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Aggressive.

[Jake Johnson]

No, here's what I'm saying. We're trying to solve this problem.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

And, Abby, here's how we solve it. What the is Louie's favorite food?

[Katie]

I mean, tuna. But isn't every cat's favorite food tuna? And here's the Other problem. It's not like we live in it. We live in a neighborhood that has probably five other stray cats on this street that just roam. And we also have a really, really bad, like, squirrel and raccoon problem in this neighborhood alone. Like, they just are rampant and they will eat anything. So if I put stuff out, I get more than I bargained for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well. Well, that's why this is a hard one. I would go in the direction of, look, your ex. And I'm calling Louis your ex now.

[Katie]

That's fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Louis. Is that your ex? He moved on.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, what are you going to do? You're just going to stalk his Facebook all night and just want, you know, keep wondering about him? I mean, all you're going to do is smother him.

[Jake Johnson]

But hold on, Abby. Do you want Lewis back?

[Katie]

Well, no, I want Lewis to come back and. And come to my house occasionally. I don't want him. He doesn't have to live with me. He just needs to, like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whoa. So you're mad at the cat for finding a forever home when you want to give him a part time rental space?

[Katie]

Yeah, basically.

[Jake Johnson]

This is wild.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know.

[Jake Johnson]

I did not think you were ready.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're a cat. Are you picking the house where they feed you and you have a regular stay? Are you doing one where the person's like, hey, do you mind sleeping on the porch tonight night?

[Jake Johnson]

I'm sensing that Abby was done with my weird ass a long time ago. I'm going, oh, you're letting me out all of a sudden? And then I'm trying to, oh, look at that. By the way, that looks just like my cat. That is a black cat with green eyes. That's a great looking cat. Do you want to know why a cat br.

[Katie]

Are you looking at the picture?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Yes. He's in the back of my truck. I got in to go somewhere and I was like, well, I can't freaking go anywhere he goes. My. He's. He's in the bed of my truck.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is this after the breakup?

[Katie]

No, this was, like, mid breakup. Like, he was, like, spending a lot more time outside, and I would see him occasionally, but he would still, like, come up to me.

[Jake Johnson]

So how long was he an indoor cat?

[Katie]

Like, five years. Like, a long time.

[Jake Johnson]

Now, let's be real honest, Abby. We can't get to the truth in 20 minutes. We got to get to it now. What made you decide to put this cat outside? Did you have a kid or something? Something?

[Katie]

No. Well, we do. We did end up having two Kids. But that's not why.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Katie]

I think we opened the door and he kind of followed us out there, and he, like, showed some interest, and we were like, well, I mean, it's kind of like a family neighborhood. Like, I don't mind to just let him out and see what he thinks. And then he quickly decided that that was, like, he loved it out there, since we were like, come home, like, whatever.

[Jake Johnson]

And what was your guys's family dynamic? Do you guys have dogs? Dogs?

[Katie]

Well, we didn't at the time.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, Abby, Keep going. Abby, thank you for the truth.

[Katie]

I didn't want to bring that up because.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because why? The truth is gonna hurt.

[Katie]

Well, no, no, no. We only got dogs within the last, like, six months, so he, like, had fully abandoned us by that point.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Abby, you're in another thing. You're in another thing, and you're wondering why your ex isn't texting you.

[Jake Johnson]

He's. He's in the back of your truck staring at you. He's bringing you dead rabbit head, saying, take me home. Yeah, you dumb.

[Katie]

That wasn't when we got. That was not when we got the dogs. The dogs was like a newer thing, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Abby, Abby, the problem is this ship has sailed. This ship has sailed. You. Your cat Louis has made a decision based on what I might say was not. Was a little bit of an icy reception at the house. You let him out.

[Katie]

Uhhuh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And he found a place. You moved on. You've got dogs. You've got kids. He made a choice. My. My pitch was going to be, go get another cat.

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Show that cat all the love that you feel.

[Jake Johnson]

Like you're missing that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But then you said you have dogs. Hold on, Jake. There's commas in this.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on, Abby. Are we at all right here? Are we wrong? Are we. Are we painting the wrong picture? Because we clearly have a take. And how about what?

[Katie]

The fact that you think that I've moved on from this cat.

[Jake Johnson]

Here. Here is very clearly where Gareth and I. I feel like we're both feeling. You had a cat. You got him when you graduated. You love Lewis. He's great. All of a sudden, you kind of life is going on. You're moving a beautiful Dayton. You got kids coming. You all of a sudden maybe let him out. He doesn't come home. Who cares? You're paying less attention to him as the years go on. He's fine. But cats are easy. And when he's gone a lot during the day, nobody in that house is missing him. Then he's gone. Overnight. And you go, like, great. Then he brings you a rabbit head, and you're like, lewis, you weirdo, he's in the back of your truck. You're like, get out of here. And then all of a sudden, he finds new love, and you go, what about me?

[Katie]

Okay. You're not wrong. I will give you that. Not.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Okay. And so that I need to.

[Katie]

Go ahead.

[Jake Johnson]

No, you go ahead.

[Katie]

I was gonna say. Are you saying that I need to, like, give him a quote, unquote funeral from my perspective, Just let him go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You need to grieve.

[Jake Johnson]

I think you need to grieve. But also if I'm you. Because I don't view. I'm different than Gareth. I don't view my pets as my love interests.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna throw a flag on this. This.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What. What's going on? My love interest. I love my animals on a level that maybe you don't experience. I don't know if. Love interest. It's not a will. They won't. They.

[Jake Johnson]

It is a will. They won't. They.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it is not a will. They won't.

[Jake Johnson]

Photos you have right near your face.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's. It's filling a background. For now.

[Jake Johnson]

Can I finish?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't like your start.

[Jake Johnson]

Agreed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm hot on this call.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. What I did to you.

[Jake Johnson]

You, Abby.

[Katie]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

I view it more like a kid. So you didn't really break up. The kid. Just felt like you started a whole new goddamn family. And he found another place. So I would let him go. But that door is always open whenever you see him. I would give a lovingly. Hey, Lewis. Hey, kitty, kitty, kitty. I would have. If he's ever around, if he ever wants to come back, back, he's always welcome home.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want to say.

[Jake Johnson]

His home.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want to say two things. I want to say one, just since we're, you know, going at each other, I don't love the idea that as a parent, Jake will allow one of his kids to go two doors down and start living there because they think that's the right environment for them. So anybody who's maybe working with Child Protective Services might want to jump in there.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm talking about when they're grown up. They fall second.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Second. To tag a pitch onto this. What might be interesting, Abby, is to get a shirt made with a picture, that picture of Louis, and maybe an rip above it as you. So that way when you walk around the neighborhood, you kind of throw a little shade at the people who but.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, I think you just started something that could be really nice. What if you go to the house and you explain the situation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, man.

[Jake Johnson]

And you go like, go ahead and baby.

[Katie]

Well, do you want me to ask him a question or just explain that like, he abandoned us?

[Jake Johnson]

No, I don't. You're not a victim. I would say that you've had this cat since 2016. You love the cat. You've let it out. The cat has been a neighborhood cat and he's going there. But you just want to let them know if they ever feel an obligation, you will always take him home. You love him. He seems to have chosen them. Them. But if there's ever a reason that you are letting them and Lewis know Mama Abby's always around.

[Katie]

Give the blessing and accept responsibility, is.

[Jake Johnson]

What you're exactly right. And say like. And let. And then if the cat's there. But every time you see that cat on the street, I would say, mama loves you.

[Katie]

That's a great one one.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you. I will say that just a little. Mama loves you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep in mind, Jake would love.

[Jake Johnson]

What Gareth would say is, I'm in love with you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But keep in mind Jake would let his child just wander into a stranger's house and live there if they liked it. So that's who you're dealing with. That's who you're. That's who complimenting right now you see.

[Jake Johnson]

What happens when you accidentally hurt Gara's feelings?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm worried about your kids, Jake. This is coming from earnest Place of glory.

[Jake Johnson]

After my. My family.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was a. I was called. I had a love interest with a cat.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, remember back. Do you have a tattoo of your wife on your arm?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't even have a wife. That is a wild argument.

[Jake Johnson]

What's your tattoo?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. Abby, what do you think you're going to do? We've given you a couple options.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, that wasn't a weird edit. They didn't do that in post.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go ahead, Abby.

[Jake Johnson]

Jennifer, Jake's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake's got bad Internet right now. Go ahead. What are you gonna do?

[Katie]

I think that I'm. I'm gonna just say hello to him when I see him and tell him he's always welcome.

[Jake Johnson]

Can we do a little. Can we do a little practice? Let's do this, Abby. Pretend the cat's walking down the street. Let's hear how you're gonna do it. Do you mind? Let's just get a practice rounded.

[Katie]

So I'll be losing.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm walk. You see me across the street. I'm walking down the street. My thought. I'm just telling you, my POV is her, man.

[Katie]

See, with that attitude, it makes me want.

[Jake Johnson]

The streets.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Piece of Lewis.

[Jake Johnson]

Sorry.

[Katie]

Always welcome in our home. Always. You'll always be my first cat.

[Jake Johnson]

That means a lot to me. Thank you. Yeah, that's real nice. Are you going to say that every time? Time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

May I tack on one other pitch? I'm going to call it Pocket Tuna.

[Jake Johnson]

Gross.

[Katie]

Oh, wait, I like this idea. I think.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, go back to the love interest thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is. Nope. This is you in some. Either when you see Lewis or when you're going out, throw a little tune in a Ziploc bag and just have it on you just in case you see him. And give him a little tuna from the hand. Eliminates the raccoon problem. We're starting the connection with a bribe again.

[Jake Johnson]

Your new nickname is Pocket Tuna.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't hate it. I mean, I've been going by Parmesan floor for a couple years, by the way.

[Jake Johnson]

Pocket tuna. I. First of all, I can't believe Steve Berg didn't pitch it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I love Pocket tuna. On a hike now.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, Eric Edelstein brings his own vegan cheese to restaurants. But why not just not have cheese? He just brings his own thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Brother, will you grate this?

[Jake Johnson]

But. So, Abby, what do you think of a little loving thing to Lewis every time you see him? And honestly, make. I think Gareth is dead right? Have a little pocket tuna and just throw it his way. So he's like, God damn, she's reaching out. She's reaching out.

[Katie]

That's genius. Yeah, I think I'm gonna have to do that.

[Jake Johnson]

Are you gonna pocket Tuna and say nice things to him every time? Time.

[Katie]

Yeah, probably. Especially now that it's warmer. He's going to be really out and about. So let me.

[Jake Johnson]

Let me ask you a question, abby.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

In 2016, you're a college graduate, you're watching Hot Rod, you're having a good time, you buy yourself a cat, you're proud of yourself. You love this cat. What was his. Nick. What was his first nickname as a little kitten?

[Katie]

Well, Lewis is the nickname.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so what was it? What's his full name?

[Katie]

C.S. lewis, after the author.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. Okay, Lewis. Wow.

[Jake Johnson]

And so Lion.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Witch in the wardrobe. Yeah.

[Katie]

Yeah, we call him Lou.

[Jake Johnson]

You call him what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Would.

[Jake Johnson]

Would you ever give him a little pet name when you're. You ever use a voice or anything when you're petting them?

[Katie]

No, I straight up talk to him like I'M talking to you.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so it's just Lois, you know, you're a good boy. I'm glad I have you kind of vibe.

[Katie]

Yeah. And maybe that's why he left, is because he wanted something a little bit more like friendly.

[Jake Johnson]

Abby, I think you're. I think you're perfect as is. I think he left because I don't think he's like. What I didn't like about Abby, she didn't use a certain tone with me. I think what he didn't like about Abby, he thought there's more food elsewhere.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If we've learned one thing from this season, it's that some pe. Some cat lovers are making songs for their animals. So you fallen a little short in that there.

[Jake Johnson]

There's no right way here. But all we got to do. Abby, what I was looking for is if there was a voice that could trigger in him. I'm not this weird. Remember home? Remember home? So if it's just the way you say Louis with some pocket tuna, I think you would do it. But we're just trying to let the cat know. I get you live in this new house. And I'm happy you're happy. You tell me the day you're coming home, cs and we got your bed. I don't care. There's a dog and more kids. You were here first.

[Katie]

It's true. And the kids love him, so they'll welcome him back.

[Jake Johnson]

Of course they will. And the dog will figure it out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get everyone with tuna in their pockets. All right, Abby, well, let us know how this goes and if there's contact.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but by the way, this is a big follow up because. Yeah, you know, this is a. This one could be a multi arc story, but I got a feeling within the next 12 months, Lewis is going to sleep at home with night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. Bold prediction.

[Katie]

Wouldn't that be something?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Be prediction. All right, Abby, good luck. In your pockets. Bye bye, bye. Producer Gareth here. Hey, if you want to hear the first producer. Okay. If you want to hear the first call before this followup talent. Gareth here. Episode 24 is the original call.

[Jake Johnson]

Hello.

[Katie]

Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

Welcome back to the show. We're here to help. You're with Jake and Gareth. Can we get your name, please?

[Katie]

Kirby.

[Jake Johnson]

Kirby and Kirby. What was your first problem?

[Katie]

I wanted to ditch my husband in the middle of the woods.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow.

[Jake Johnson]

This was a while ago.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Birthday present.

[Katie]

Over a year. Yeah. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Right, right. Because he liked survivor shows. But you thought he was a sissy.

[Katie]

No, I didn't think he was a sissy. I Just, you know, wanted him to get the full experience.

[Jake Johnson]

Right. And it was for his. Oh, this was Johnny Bananas episode.

[Katie]

Yes. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow. Right, right.

[Jake Johnson]

This was Johnny Bananas from the Challenge challenge.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Season 40 was great. Did you watch it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm ha. I'm halfway through it. Closer to two thirds of the way through.

[Jake Johnson]

It's wonderful season.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great season.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so, Kirby, what was our final advice to you? Do you remember?

[Katie]

Yeah, you guys had great advice. You helped me just kind of figure out a plan to, like, drop a map and get him to go to certain locations and things like that and set up different, like, challenges for him.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, yeah. What happened?

[Katie]

Unfortunately. Okay, so. So apparently it's a lot harder to drop people in the middle of the woods than they make it look like on tv. Yeah. Finding. Finding a location was a little bit tough, but.

[Jake Johnson]

Wait, you really did this, Kirby. Okay, okay. Sorry, sorry. I jumped. I jumped. I jumped. You go ahead. I jumped.

[Katie]

Okay, you're good. I did try. Like, I had an idea to even, like, drop them off, get my dad to drop him off on an island close by on this boat. But that didn't work out because I couldn't get him to go on the boat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Katie]

But so I had finally had it all planned out. I rented an Airbnb. Well, I was about to rent an Airbnb and have just, like, had a big plot of land and just, like, have it set up to go camp out there. And then fortunately, we got really, some devastating news. His mother passed away. Away. And so, yeah, so I couldn't go through with it. For his 40th birthday, I was still committed to it. I like, okay, we'll just push it off and push it away. So I. I pushed off till the following summer because his birthday is actually in January, when originally supposed to go down. So I found a camping spot, a camping ground that's, like, really nice and has had, like, a beach nearby where we could set some stuff up. And I had it all planned out. Like, I was just going to be production and, like, setting up stuff for him to do and, you know, make it fun for him. And the day of the camping trip, like, he came home and he was, like, in the worst mood ever, like, just not wanting to participate. And also, it was like the tail end of a tropical storm that day, so. And not great. Not great situation, but I'm like, you know what? We're just gonna do it. We're gonna power through and just, like, try and have the good time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Usually, like, I can get him out of these bad moods usually, like, you.

[Jake Johnson]

Know, but he was in a funk.

[Katie]

It was just one of those bad days at work that you're just like, I just want to go to bed and be done.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't want to get dropped off in the middle of nowhere and try to survive for 48 hours.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Katie]

I don't want to go camping.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't want to get dropped in the woods by my For.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want to watch tv. I don't want to try to not die for a couple days and then.

[Jake Johnson]

Have her leave me there and have to survive my way out. Because one of my enjoyments is watching survivor shows, and she called some dumb podcast, and now I'm literally hunting beavers to live.

[Katie]

Exactly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My face. To survive.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't want to throw rocks at squirrels and hope I get lucky so I get a meal. Yeah. I think where. Where he's coming from makes sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Totally.

[Katie]

Oh, for sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

For sure.

[Katie]

But I was just like, no, we're gonna. We're gonna power through and do this.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Katie]

So on the drive up there, I'm like, you know what? Let me prepare him for this a little bit, because he still didn't know anything about it. It was still going to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where did you tell him you were going?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, just camping.

[Katie]

Just camping.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And. And your plan was what, you were going to ditch him out there?

[Katie]

Not ditch him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He had a couple bad days, kind.

[Katie]

Of camp on the beach and, like, build his own little.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, I got. You were going to just say, like, hey, I'll stay here. I'll stay here. You go over a hole in the sand. Yeah.

[Katie]

And, like, you know how, like, production. Like. Like, we'll drop off, like, oh, look, a bird kind of.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, of course.

[Katie]

You know?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Yeah. They'll give you. They'll give you a way to win.

[Katie]

Yeah. Random.

[Jake Johnson]

I would love to see this guy, like, fishing in that lake all by himself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mad.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. With, like, a weird string he creates. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Kirby's eating hot dogs.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, well, she's smarting it up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Exactly.

[Katie]

She's got a cool power bank, everything.

[Jake Johnson]

You're literally watching movies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Really?

[Jake Johnson]

He's being chased by a badger.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Watching Twilight as he's sucking venom out of his own arm and so completely forgot about him.

[Jake Johnson]

Be like, oh, wait.

[Katie]

Oh, shoot. I was supposed to go do something.

[Jake Johnson]

And so you take him out there. He's in a bad mood. How do you cheer him up?

[Katie]

Well, I decided to play the podcast for him. I was like, okay, I need to. He needs to know what's going on. I'm like, oh, you need to listen to this great podcast. You know, it's got Jake Johnson and this comedian Gareth. Gareth Reynolds, that they're great, and they're so funny. I'm like, that's me. And he's like, that's you? And I'm like, yeah. And I was like, so do you want to do this? I'm gonna be production. We're gonna stop. He's like, no, I just. I just want to go camping, I guess. And so probably.

[Jake Johnson]

Kirby, I'm remembering the first call you did have a little bit. Bit that he was talking about these shows, but your vibe now, when I said he was a. You said, no, because you know he's going to hear this. But you were kind of saying, like, he watches these shows, but he could never do them. Am I wrong? Gareth, you remember?

[Katie]

I think you were like, I wanted him to, like, realize, like, hey, going out there and getting eaten by bugs is not as fun as.

[Jake Johnson]

Exactly. That's what I was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

There was a little bit of heat to it. Bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Katie]

A little bit. For sure. 100. Yeah. Because he does have that.

[Jake Johnson]

Go ahead.

[Katie]

The air of, like, I could do that. I could do that. And it's like, yeah, but I don't think. You think you want. You. You want to do it, like, you know what I'm saying? I didn't articulate that correctly, but it doesn't matter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake's being weird. Okay, so. So you drive. So you drive. So he says no. So then what's. What's the pivot? The. Can't you just go? Can't camp.

[Katie]

We just. We just went camping. The tropical storm was going through still, and it rained for, like, the whole night and morning through. And then our tent started to leak on top of us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kirby.

[Katie]

And, like, kind of.

[Jake Johnson]

Kind of a downer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Kind of a bad call.

[Jake Johnson]

It's like. It sounds like. Like he was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was in a bad mood, and you're like, tropical storm.

[Jake Johnson]

The podcast, he didn't find it enjoyable. He said, the whole premise is stupid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I said, let's pitch a 10. He said, There's a tropical cyclone. I said, let's fight through it.

[Jake Johnson]

Then we went to a hotel. We got bedbugs. Then we went and got Mexican food. We got food poisoning. Long and short. We're just trying to ring the bell because we jinxed ourselves. Right. Right before.

[Katie]

I think we can redeem it, because if we think about it, the idea was to suffer in a nice way. And he did Definitely suffer. And then the camping trip the next day. The next two days were beautiful. We had a great time hiking went.

[Jake Johnson]

Who cares Kirby, our show is not we hope people have a nice time camping. I'm glad you're having a nice weekend. That has nothing to do with our show. This show is about you have a problem calling me try to help you. You guys go camping and have dinner and have a lot of fun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who cares? Kirby, right before this jes. Right before this Jake and I were talking about our hit rate on solving problems was getting so hot.

[Jake Johnson]

But guess what, Gareth. She's early season one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She is. I was going to say this an old call.

[Jake Johnson]

This is early. This was early on. Bananas was one of our like first 20th guests.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

So this is a failure of season one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree.

[Jake Johnson]

It just gets shown its ugly face in season two.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's where Kirby tries to tell us it's a win. Go ahead, Kirby.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, the other thing we did is we had ice cream last Friday.

[Katie]

Use your advice for something. Solving another problem.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You. You're giving advice or you're asking advice.

[Katie]

So I've used your advice for solving a different problem that I had.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You told someone else to drop someone else in the middle of the woods.

[Jake Johnson]

But it wasn't a husband. It was their three year old.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They were trying to get divor. So I said just put him in the ocean.

[Jake Johnson]

I gave advice to my. My sister who just had a baby wouldn't stop crying and she just dropped him out of the woods and couldn't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Put him in the woods. Raised by wolves. Bing bang.

[Jake Johnson]

So what advice did we give you that you gave to another? Maybe there's a win here.

[Katie]

So I had a problem with my mother in law, the one that lives here, not the one back in England. He was like always leaning on our counter and like blocking a cut through through of our kitchen and it was driving me crazy. So I. I started to sprinkle parmesan where she leans so that would get all over her arms. I tell you guys, it worked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You parmesan the counter.

[Jake Johnson]

You parmesan the counter. Kirby, we're taking. We're going out on the win. We appreciate it. Thank you for the follow up. Great job. Parmesan in the comeback.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you guys.

[Katie]

I really like made a difference in my life.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you. We appreciate you. Thank you for calling. This was a lot of fun and wow did I was expecting the end us to not give you a win there but you just hit a grand sl.

[Katie]

You guys did all the work honestly.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you Kirby.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thanks, Kirby.

[Jake Johnson]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod gmail.com. and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] hereto help pod to see our entire catalog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grim Productions executive producers Rob Hollis.

[Jake Johnson]

Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Katie]

All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com heretohelpod hello and welcome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or hi, my name is Cole.

[Jake Johnson]

My name is Andrew.

[Katie]

We host a podcast called Podcast, but Outside, where Cole and I set up.

[Jake Johnson]

A table on the sidewalk and talk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To strangers who are walking by, we.

[Katie]

Have a sign on our table that says, hi.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Be a guest on our podcast and we will pay you $1.

[Jake Johnson]

We are the only ethical podcast. We're the only podcast that pays. We have really interesting conversations with really fun folks. Like who? Like Marilyn. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I was somebody else's wife for.

[Jake Johnson]

A while, but the second one worked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Out well until he died.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It turned out he had a double life. What?

[Jake Johnson]

What was the second life?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was a crack addict.

[Jake Johnson]

What?

[Katie]

Wait, how do you hide that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hold on. How do you hide. He was a nice old Jewish guy. How did he get addicted to crack? He started smoking it.

[Jake Johnson]

I know, but I just. I'm just trying to. I know. That was a good clip.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, thank you.

[Katie]

And sometimes we even have celebrity friends.

[Jake Johnson]

Of ours helping us to interview these random people off the street.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like who?

[Jake Johnson]

Like Jon Hamm, Adam Scott, Nick Kroll, and Atsuko Okatsuka.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So please subscribe to podcast, but outside on YouTube and podcast apps and then have a good time.