157: The Doubtfire Trap & The Ghost of Patty J (with Zach Cherry)

Summary

Podcast Summary: "We're Here to Help" – Episode 157: The Doubtfire Trap & The Ghost of Patty J (with Zach Cherry)

Introduction and Guest Appearance Timestamp: 00:02 – 04:49

The episode kicks off with hosts Gareth Reynolds and Jake Johnson welcoming their special guest, Zach Cherry—renowned for his roles in "Severance" and "The Dollop." They delve into Zach's recent projects, including his participation in a unique PR stunt where he spent three hours in a glass cube at Grand Central Station, maintaining character to promote the second season of "Severance." Zach shares his enthusiasm for his work, stating, “It's amazing. It's a lot of fun” (00:57). Additionally, the hosts discuss Zach's role in "The Great American Bacon Show" on Roku, highlighting its resemblance to the "Great British Baking Show" but tailored for an American audience.

Jennifer’s Call: The Doubtfire Trap Timestamp: 09:00 – 39:08

Caller Introduction Jennifer, a 25-year-old from San Diego, reaches out seeking advice on her parents' unexpected divorce after 32 years of marriage. She describes a perplexing situation where her parents, despite divorcing, continue to spend ample time together, sometimes excluding each other from family events, leading to a strained environment for their four children.

Discussion and Pitches Jennifer explains, “All of my siblings have officially moved out of the house… there was a mental health scare for Mom” (17:50), and she suspects her mother's desire for change prompted the divorce. The hosts and Zach brainstorm creative solutions inspired by iconic films:

1. Zach's Mrs. Doubtfire Pitch

   • Zach suggests convincing Jennifer’s father to adopt a Mrs. Doubtfire-like persona to rekindle the relationship: “How would you feel if they opened their relationship?” (15:06). The idea revolves around creating a light-hearted scenario where the father dresses up to reconnect with the mother through shared activities like dancing.

2. Jake and Gareth’s Collaborative Ideas

   • Jake proposes enhancing the pitch by incorporating elements from the song "Escape (The Piña Colada Song)" to create a nostalgic and romantic setting.
   • Gareth adds depth by suggesting a planned evening where Jennifer orchestrates a surprise dance lesson, complete with a town car to ensure the evening proceeds smoothly: “Shall we do the new call?” (38:15).

Conclusion of Jennifer’s Call By the episode's midpoint, Jennifer reports progress: her father is receptive to the Mrs. Doubtfire-inspired idea, expressing willingness to participate but prefers a follow-up interaction rather than an immediate on-air commitment (73:37). The hosts encourage Jennifer to document the process and anticipate a positive transformation in her parents' relationship.

Patty J’s Call: The Ghost of Patty J Timestamp: 44:59 – 85:00

Caller Introduction A second caller, Jennifer (alias Patty J), from South Carolina, shares her predicament of habitually consuming her roommates' food while intoxicated, leading to tension and disputes over shared living spaces.

Discussion and Pitches Patty J elaborates on her issue: “I'm trying to get away from it… I've been eating their cheese balls… I ate a little bit of my roommate's burrito” (10:06 – 12:19). The hosts and Zach approach the problem with humor and practicality:

1. Gareth’s Snack Prep Strategy

   • Gareth recommends preparing a dedicated snack stash labeled for Patty J, aiming to minimize conflict: “You need to buy extra snacks for Patty J” (55:18).

2. Jake’s Creative Solutions

   • Jake proposes a mock "murder" of Patty J to create intrigue and deter the behavior: “Tell your roommates that Patty J. was just murdered” (56:00). This tongue-in-cheek approach is designed to shift the roommates' perspective and diffuse tension.

3. Combined Efforts for Long-Term Solutions

   • The team brainstorms combining strategies, such as hosting a "Patty J" themed evening with ample food supplies to satisfy her cravings without affecting roommate provisions. They emphasize turning Patty J’s visits into positive events: “Patty J's bringing food and the food's for everyone” (63:40).

Conclusion of Patty J’s Call By the episode’s end, Patty J feels optimistic about implementing the proposed strategies to manage her behavior and restore harmony in her living situation. The hosts express excitement over the creative solutions and anticipate positive outcomes.

Notable Quotes

• Zach Cherry on "Severance" Season 2 excitement: “It's amazing. It's a lot of fun” (00:57).
• Jennifer on her parents' unexpected divorce: “They decided on it mutually… but they still hang out a lot” (12:19).
• Gareth on the importance of mental health: “We recognize that your mental health, your mental health care, however you want to phrase it, is very, very important” (06:20).
• Jake on the creative pitch: “We are doing Jennifer Parent trapping. Parent trapping” (82:17).

Insights and Conclusions This episode showcases the hosts' blend of humor and genuine concern in addressing callers' personal dilemmas. With Zach Cherry's collaborative input, they craft imaginative solutions inspired by popular culture, demonstrating the podcast's unique approach to problem-solving. Jennifer's successful engagement with the proposed strategies highlights the show's potential impact, while Patty J's situation underscores the effectiveness of creative advice in resolving everyday conflicts.

Final Thoughts "We're Here to Help" Episode 157 exemplifies the hosts' commitment to assisting listeners through entertaining and thoughtful advice. By leveraging celebrity guests and imaginative pitches, Jake, Gareth, and Zach create an engaging listening experience that resonates with a wide audience.

Transcript

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[Jake Johnson]

And we are back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We are Zach.

[Jake Johnson]

We are Zach. We got the great Zach Cherry with us and we're adding them to the intro.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. We're Zach. You were a great guest helper. How. How did that go?

[Zach Cherry]

It was thrilling and it was. I can't wait to see how. How they turn out.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. Agreed. There's some really great follow ups. You know Zach from severance. Zach, how's that job been going for you?

[Zach Cherry]

It's amazing. It's a lot of fun. It's cool how excited people are about this second season.

[Jake Johnson]

Huge season for you guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, how was that?

[Jake Johnson]

It's that PR stunt where you guys all went in the box.

[Zach Cherry]

Yeah. We spent three hours in a glass cube in Grand Central Station together.

[Jake Johnson]

What was that like?

[Zach Cherry]

It was fun. No one could hear us, so we could kind of say whatever we wanted, but we did. We basically all stayed in character and committed for the full three hours and just went about our work day.

[Jake Johnson]

That's great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What if you had to go to the bathroom?

[Zach Cherry]

You could. You could be asked to. You could ask to be escorted out by one of the Lumen security who was there if you needed to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Every base is covered.

[Zach Cherry]

Yeah, we didn't need that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that show is awesome. And what was great about the second season was there was a fairly long break. So. So many people watched the first season. It was kind of genius. At the end of the day, it.

[Zach Cherry]

Did pick up a lot of steam. It was a real snowball rolling downhill.

[Jake Johnson]

And then you're also hosting the Great American Bacon show on Roku.

[Zach Cherry]

That is correct. With Casey Wilson.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no way. We love Casey.

[Zach Cherry]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a lot of fun. It's basically just the American version of Great British Baking Show. We have to say baking show here because Pillsbury, I believe, owns the term bake off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's crazy.

[Zach Cherry]

So it's the baking show, but it's. Yeah, it's the same thing. Paul and Pru are the host. They bring me and Casey and a bunch of Americans over to London. We shoot it just outside of London. Same tent, same vibe. It's a lot of fun.

[Jake Johnson]

What's it like to film those reality shows? Because I've always thought about, like. Like, do they really. Is it all the time? Because we talk about on the challenge, are the finals real? Do they fudge the numbers? You know, they go like 5, 4, and everyone's putting like a last thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

On the close up. Really?

[Jake Johnson]

Like that? Are they like, just, everybody finish your croissant.

[Zach Cherry]

On baking show, it's all pretty real. It's like they are really baking all day. Casey and I barely like, you know, we don't have to be there for the whole four hours. We just pop in and out and tell them how much time is left. But, yeah, it's pretty much as it seems.

[Jake Johnson]

And so what do the hosts do? Great gig. What do the hosts do in between?

[Zach Cherry]

We will talk to the bakers. So we like, go around and kind of interrupt them and check in with them. We'll announce how much time is left and then we will sometimes do other bits of business. You know, they'll. They'll give us like a pot and pan and say, like, can you go bang this and. And say you're part of the, like a croissant brigade or something, you know, Very English.

[Jake Johnson]

Just trying bits. Yeah, yeah, but you got. You got somebody in your ear.

[Zach Cherry]

No, we have someone who walks up and whispers to us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So sort of the old fashioned ifb.

[Zach Cherry]

We haven't advanced to the earwig technology. We're on the old school system.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

I love Casey Wilson.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, she's the best.

[Jake Johnson]

We did improv years ago with her. She's so funny.

[Zach Cherry]

She's a lot of fun.

[Jake Johnson]

What a great.

[Zach Cherry]

And we have a lot of fun together. We. We have. We've found our own little vibe on the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, what's good is you've got two great ensembles and then you came into this show and you're part of the ensemble cast here because. Great advice.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great calls. And I don't the. I can't wait to find out where these two situations land. But it. It's quite a ride. It's a ride.

[Zach Cherry]

Yes. I need. I need the updates as soon as you have them. I need.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's one thing, people. We are so invested in the actual outcomes, partially because we're egomaniacs and it's our advice, but also we do genuinely. We want to help. We want to help.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Zach Cherry]

You're here to help.

[Jake Johnson]

We're here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That doesn't make it. Oh, no, wait.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Zach, we appreciate you joining the show. You crushed it and keep going with all your success, man.

[Zach Cherry]

Thanks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you. And without further ado, we are brought to you by Rocket Money. We love rocket Money. For we've both saved money with Rocket Money. I've gotten cheaper Internet because of Rocket Money. I've also the number of. There's so many things that, like, they'll be like, hey, sign up for a week because you want to watch one thing or whatever. And then like four months later, you're like, oh, my God, no. But Rocket Money does that for you.

[Jake Johnson]

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. We all know, myself included, that we sign up for something stupid and we forget about it and they just keep draining our bank accounts. So try Rocket Money to see. It is easy to use and it will sell. Save you money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year. When using all of the app's premium features, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money, go to rocket money.com help today. That's rocket money.com help rocket money.com/help.

[Jake Johnson]

Today's episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Alma.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, we here at the show, we love, we support Alma because we recognize that your mental health, your mental health care, however you want to phrase it, is very, very important. You know, when you're going through something, it can feel lonely, it can feel difficult, it can feel insurmountable. But that's what Alma does. So well, Alma helps you find a therapist that is the right match for you.

[Jake Johnson]

I've been using ALMA since they started sponsoring us and I found it a very easy way to find a therapist that works for me. I am currently seeing somebod now who has been very helpful. We are trying emdr, which I find a very interesting way and I highly recommend if that is a move you're looking to try.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Takes a real person to understand your experience. What's going on with you, you're tapped out on online advice or social media is just compounding the issues. Alma is a great place to go search, find someone who's the right match, better with people, better with Alma. Visit hello Alma.com hereto help to get started started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello a LMA.com here to help.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile. I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless carriers also seem to like keeping my money too. After years of overpaying for wireless, I finally got fed up from crazy high wireless bills, bogus fees, and quote unquote free perks that actually cost more in the long run. And I switched to Mint Mobile.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We love Mint Mobile. We love Mint Mobile because Mint Mobile is the same as the other wireless carriers that you're using or have used. But, you know, the problem is big wireless, they seem to just keep all your money. So you pay big money for this service that Mint Mobile is just going to give you for a lot less. So I. Look, I'm telling you, you can be done with your overpriced wireless plans and overages. The amount of times I'm like, wait, what is happening? You got to keep an eye on these people. Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of premium wireless service from Mint Mobile for 15 bucks a month. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop [e-mail] here to help. That's mintmobile.com heretohelp upfront payment of $45 for three months. Five gigabyte plan requires equivalent to $15 a month. New customer offer for first three months only. Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. Hello.

[Jennifer]

Hello.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello. Welcome.

[Jennifer]

Hello.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, let's get into it. Welcome to. We're here to help. We're gonna help you. You've got. We've got a guest. I don't know if that changes your emotional tenor for this call. How do you feel about that? And then we'll do the reveal.

[Jennifer]

I feel good about that. I'm excited to see who it is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, look, you've got Jake. We know Jake. We love Jake. You've got me, you've got Gareth. But joining us today, we love you. Thank you. Jesus Christ. I was waiting for that. We are joined by the great Zach Cherry.

[Jake Johnson]

And we love that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We love that. Who's our guest, our guest helper today? Can we. Can we get your name where you're calling from? And if you want to give us your age, it's always helpful.

[Jennifer]

Yes. I'm Jennifer. I'm from San Diego and I'm 25.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, Jennifer, 25, San Diego. What are you doing out in San Diego? Just so we know.

[Jennifer]

Like, my, like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Work wise, it doesn't matter. Okay, what's going on? What's the problem? What. What can we help you with today?

[Jake Johnson]

We need a little bit more g.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It just got too complicated, Jake. It's like, how are you? And someone's like, well, in what sort of context are you. You know what I mean? It's like, you're totally right. It's a straightforward one.

[Jake Johnson]

That's exactly what. Go ahead.

[Zach Cherry]

I need to know work wise and non. Work wise.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Zach, you got any questions for Jennifer Just to get us started. Take.

[Zach Cherry]

I guess let's start with work wise.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. What do you do?

[Jennifer]

Yeah, I work in donor relations for a college.

[Jake Johnson]

Donor relations are just donations then? Yes, donor.

[Jennifer]

Really? Well, I say thank you to the donor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So what? I mean, this is why you can't talk to three people who are entertainment based about like what you just said to us is like, I study moon rocks.

[Jake Johnson]

Zach, you got any other follow ups for. We're getting to know Jennifer a little bit.

[Zach Cherry]

What do you do when you're off the clock?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a good one.

[Jennifer]

I horseback ride and I'm an avid pickleball player.

[Zach Cherry]

Okay, so this is important information for us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This helps.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, I was hoping for something more like that.

[Jake Johnson]

Why do you like pickleball more than tennis?

[Jennifer]

Oh, well, it's easier and I get to run less.

[Jake Johnson]

That's it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That really lines up with the Jake mentality be of the next project.

[Jake Johnson]

So Jennifer, now we're, now we're getting a sense you're a little on the lazy side. You have a job where you just say thank you to people who give you money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We ask what you do. You're thrill.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

You know me super well already.

[Jake Johnson]

Actually, we're liking it. Jennifer, what's the issue today? Take over.

[Jennifer]

All right, so my parents have been married for 32 years. Four kids, relatively good life. And a year ago on Easter, they decided to tell us they're getting divorced after 32 years. No cheating. Yeah, like they're high school sweethearts also. So they were married for 32 years, but they've been together like way longer. Okay, so no cheating, no affair, anything like that. But it's weird because they still hang out all the time. Like multiple times a week. I asked my mom what she was doing and she's going to the movies with my dad. But then they do things where they like invite all their kids to something and don't invite the other one. Like there's a weird rivalry going on.

[Jake Johnson]

But they. Jennifer, one second. Zach's got to jump in.

[Zach Cherry]

Are you, Are you. Is your last name Affleck?

[Jennifer]

I can't answer that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This would make so much sense.

[Jake Johnson]

My dad's also dating this pop star.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's.

[Jake Johnson]

She's still. She's from the block, but she's changed a lot. But she's the same girl.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I don't think she's changed, but she still seems like this.

[Jake Johnson]

People, people in the public think she changed, but the neighborhood still to her, she's the same.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's always been so.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, Jennifer. So keep going. So mom and dad divorced after 32 years. They're still hanging out a lot. Sometimes they invite the other, sometimes they don't. Awkward for the kids.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. Getting weird. So basically I'm wondering how I can parent trap them because I feel like they just made a choice and they're too stubborn to change their mind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're parent trapping themselves, just so you.

[Jennifer]

Know, and the out together. I mean. Yeah, but then they. They want to, like, have Christmas separately. Like, it makes no sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I think they're pitching the soft divorce. They're like.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't want to get too clinical with what I think is going on, but I. I have a theory.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, so hold on. So, Jennifer, before we get to it. So. Yes, mom and dad have been together since high school. They haven't cheated, which means. And you called in. So we got to be real. Mom and dad probably haven't had strange with anybody else but each other.

[Jennifer]

Correct.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so that's part of it. That doesn't mean they don't love each other and still like each other. But one of them was like, no other dicks ever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think we know which one based on that.

[Jake Johnson]

No, we don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We don't. To be fair, we don't.

[Jake Johnson]

Especially with the weird voice. I chose to.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So one of the reasons they're probably still hanging out is they probably still really like each other.

[Jennifer]

That's fair.

[Jake Johnson]

And so you're then saying the call in today, your specific question is, is how do I get. How do I parent guys? Zach, you know the show. It's not our job to judge Jennifer. It's our job to help with her call. Absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We may judge her.

[Jake Johnson]

We're allowed to judge as. But our job, in the end, we want Jennifer to go. I'm going to take the third piece of advice, and that's how I think we're going to help. So, Jennifer, you really want, deep down, if we come up with a plan, you're going to try to bring mom and dad back together? Forget this stupid old divorce. We're a family. Let's finish what we started.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, definitely.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, then. Before we do anything, Zach, just speak a little bit. Where are you at, man?

[Zach Cherry]

Do they. How would you feel if they opened their relationship?

[Jennifer]

I would not want to know about it. But they could.

[Jake Johnson]

But that's the right question, because I think. I think they did. What's that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's what they did.

[Zach Cherry]

But then why the divorce? Maybe they don't know that that's an option.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't.

[Zach Cherry]

Because if they've been together for 32 years, they might not even have heard of that.

[Jake Johnson]

I think you're right. Jennifer, when we're going in this zone, what do you think?

[Gareth Reynolds]

How do you feel about that?

[Jennifer]

I'm comfortable with this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Now question for you, Jennifer. Let's be honest. Your parents are never going to listen to this. Why do you think they split?

[Jennifer]

I think that one of them. I don't know if it's important which one was just thinking that they needed a change and they picked like a drastic change, in my opinion.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you. Do you have any idea which one of them would have done that?

[Jennifer]

I'm gonna say my mother.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, man. I was gonna guess the dad.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, he, like, still thinks they're getting back together.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, heartbreaking.

[Zach Cherry]

Okay, so he's on your team.

[Jennifer]

Yep, he's on my side. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So this might change the direction we were going.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I think it becomes less of a parent trap and it's more of a mom trap.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

That's interesting. You're totally right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which I think is advanced. That's helpful.

[Jake Johnson]

It is helpful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Logistically, that is a better zone to start off from because we can have someone on the inside of the parent train.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that's exactly. Yeah. Or we might need to keep dad a little bit in the dark. Maybe, but. Maybe. But I'm open to any pitch on that. But question for you on this, Jennifer. In terms of mom, just stream the conscious. Who knows this all could be wrong. But what are three guesses of why she wanted something different in her life? Did mom, like, start going to the gym? Did mom get a health scare? Is there a new pool boy? What happened that started. There's always. In every great breakup, everyone pretends there was not a thing. They're like, it's nothing. It's just I changed. And then you're like, who's your roommate? Yeah, he happens to be Brazilian and he's 6 foot 4. You're like, give me a break.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's so handsome. Weeks after the breakup.

[Jake Johnson]

No, it didn't. I just. It. Foreign exchange student mom, he's so handsome. And then dad looks like a sack of. So what are. What are three guesses for you, Jennifer, of what started this?

[Jennifer]

I would say one is that all her kids had officially moved out of her house.

[Jake Johnson]

Devastating.

[Jennifer]

Two is that there was a health scare.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, what was the health scare?

[Jennifer]

It was like a mental health thing for Mom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

For mom.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Interesting, interesting.

[Jennifer]

And then let me Think about a third. She went back to working with my brother.

[Jake Johnson]

Crazy. This is a wild one.

[Zach Cherry]

How would that impact it? Just the third thing. Is your brother, like, is he a player? Is he out there dating a lot? Is he. He up the single lifestyle?

[Jennifer]

Is my brother dating a lot?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Zach Cherry]

Like, why would that make her think, oh, I want to, I want to get out there and change it up?

[Jennifer]

I don't know, I just feel like she's back in a. Like, I guess because he, you know, is on, like looking for a partner and maybe like him talking to her about that is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, she, she probably saw a dating app and she was like, what are you doing?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's crazy.

[Jake Johnson]

Interesting. Okay, so we're getting a sense here, Jennifer. So mom's kids are gone. She had a little mental health scare. She's working with a guy on the scene. And then how did she tell dad what happened?

[Jennifer]

I don't really know. Like, they kind of, the way it was put said to me is that they decided on it mutually. But then, you know, I'm talking to my dad and he's like, it's not really mutual. And then they just told us. We're like, I'm opening my Easter basket. And they're like, oh, and we're getting divorced. Oh, and they live together.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry.

[Jennifer]

Time.

[Jake Johnson]

So still live together.

[Jennifer]

They don't now, but they did when they told me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. We're. We're all. That's important to the story. But if I may take an off ramp real quick. Jennifer, you're 25 and you're still getting an Easter basket.

[Zach Cherry]

I had a question about that as well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are we getting? We get. What are we getting in a 25 year old dude candy?

[Jennifer]

I think everyone deserves an Easter basket.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm with Jennifer. I wish I'm still giving an Easter basket first.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She never did. Yeah, she never gave you one.

[Jake Johnson]

I got colon. When's the last time you guys did.

[Jennifer]

An Easter egg hunt?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it's Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. We are.

[Zach Cherry]

We are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. This. The whole optics of this call just changed for me. Parent trap now seems a little weirder.

[Jake Johnson]

So really quick, Zach, before we start diving in, where you at? A little bit, but let's check.

[Zach Cherry]

I have a pitch right away.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, it's here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shall we?

[Zach Cherry]

How old is the youngest sibling?

[Jennifer]

22.

[Zach Cherry]

22. Okay, so it's gonna be a little bit of a long walk. I think you need to tell mom that you want a younger sibling. Mom gets pregnant. Mom has a Kid, it doesn't matter if it's with dad or not. That doesn't matter for this bitch. Then that allows dad to come in and Mrs. Doubtfire. But you need a young kid. You need a young kid to be able to miss his Doubtfire.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jennifer, biologically, how old is Mom? My worry here is that we're gonna go on an egg hunt of a different variety with Mom's age and not find anything.

[Jennifer]

Mom is 59.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on, Zach. Zach, keep letting it cook a little bit. Where are you at here, Big Daddy? You were onto something. What do you think?

[Zach Cherry]

That doesn't impact me because we can adopt that.

[Jake Johnson]

That's fine.

[Zach Cherry]

We just need a young kid that needs a nanny in the home.

[Jake Johnson]

So then keep. Keep going. How do we. Okay. Something on you, Zach? Yeah, Just because I want to hear this out. So, Jennifer, do you have any nieces or nephews?

[Jennifer]

I do. I have. Well, I guess they're not my. They're my cousin's kids, but I have little children around us.

[Jake Johnson]

Any little kids that are around? Because part of the thing you said, which I think Zach is right on, is the empty nest thing.

[Zach Cherry]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Any of those little kids that are around your mom and dad that could help us with this?

[Jennifer]

Yeah, there's two.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. So, Zach, keep going a little bit where you're going. We do have kids. We don't need to adopt them, but maybe there's a real play here. Now, I know it sounds like a joke, but maybe there's a play that mom can remember how great of a dad dad was. Yeah.

[Zach Cherry]

Now, it wasn't really a joke because it worked in the movie.

[Jake Johnson]

I think.

[Zach Cherry]

I think it's basically exactly the situation you're describing. Mom and dad grew apart. They split up, dad comes back in it. I guess he doesn't have to be undercover. He could just be showing he's a good dad. I think it works better if he is full on Mrs. Doubt. Firing some type of different nationality. Maybe. Maybe we don't go British this time. We go Spanish. We go Portuguese. Something in the safe. In the safe part of Europe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Senorita Doubtfire.

[Zach Cherry]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Zach Cherry]

And then there's something here. Fresh eyes.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Jennifer, just for a second before we go down this road, and I want you to really think here, because what we're then doing is. This is something new. Your mom's having a bit of a midlife crisis. Right. She's getting really scared. The end is coming close to her, and she's getting spooked. Her brain's playing Tricks on her. But we all know it's happened.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's gonna be fine, Jennifer. She's gonna be fine.

[Jake Johnson]

All of a sudden there's a little kid around, and then all of a sudden her husband shows up as a Portuguese nanny. I think there's a real way that we could. Mom. Trap her where she goes like. Like, what are you doing, Carl? And Carl goes, me.

[Zach Cherry]

Shocking. It just resets her.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. Perspective. So you know what? This makes me think of Jennifer. You know that song from the 70s, if you like pina coladas.

[Jennifer]

Oh, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And in the end, they both do this crazy thing, and where do they end up? In a goddamn bar facing each other.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I never followed the plot of the pina colada song.

[Jake Johnson]

The whole thing is, I don't like this. I don't like this. I'm tired of this old lady with me. I gotta go out there and find somebody. And then she writes of the lad. Some lady goes, I hate yoga. I love getting stuck in the rain. I like drinking champagne at midnight. All this madness. They go to a bar and guess who he's sitting across from.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. This wife's old lady. His old. Wow.

[Jake Johnson]

And guess what? They know drink pina coladas. They go right into let's remember to have fun. And he's.

[Zach Cherry]

He's dressed as an older Portuguese woman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right. That's absolutely.

[Jake Johnson]

She goes, it's not as sexual, but it is sweet. And then he ruins it by going, it is as sexual. And she goes, I still want a divorce.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you talking about the song? Are you pitching addendums on the song? I feel like that's not in the song.

[Jake Johnson]

What I'm pitching now, Jennifer, is we do a Mrs. Outfire with your dad so that your mom's midlife crisis ends and she's staring at your dad and goes, let's get the team back together. Well, Jennifer, wait, hold on. So you think that's perfect?

[Zach Cherry]

Do they have a sense of humor? Like, is that something you're. Would your dad be up for doing something silly like that? Because that is something that I would. If this was my parents, I would actually pitch this to my dad for real.

[Jake Johnson]

What would happen with your dad, Zach?

[Zach Cherry]

What would happen? I think he would honestly maybe do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What kind of. Is your dad kind of straight laced, Jennifer? What would you say? Is he a fun guy?

[Jennifer]

He's a fun guy. Like, this is Doubtfire is one of his favorite movies. So I do think if I suggested this, he would actually be down.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Walk us through the Plot points of this idea. Like, how are we starting this, Jake? We're starting before.

[Jake Johnson]

Before. Before we get there. But that's the right question. That is going to be a Zach question. Okay, but before we get it, Jennifer, because if this is a real road, we might go down. This is a wild, real road.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wild.

[Jake Johnson]

And so, Jennifer, can we just hear you talk for a little bit before we go deep on this pitch about everything you're feeling, where you're at. What are you thinking about the idea of Mrs. Doubt firing your mom title?

[Jennifer]

I love the idea of Mrs.

[Zach Cherry]

Doubt.

[Jennifer]

Find my mom. I think my dad is down and dress up and like, play this character. I think the hardest part for us is going to be both the kids in the scenario.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

The logic wouldn't necessarily need a nanny. So, like, he could do it. But I like where we're going with, like, seeing him around them because.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on. Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer, we found this about you. What do you like to still do on Easter?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Be baby.

[Jake Johnson]

You need Mrs. Doubtfire. And your sister, not the nieces and nephews, pointed it out. You still like your mom and dad. You guys, at 25, you're still wet behind your ears. You guys are still kind of kids. You're the little kids in this Doubtfire. You're just in your 20s, so it's weird. So you're getting the original band back together. So mom goes, oh, my God, I loved raising these kids. She's an empty nester. Get the nest back.

[Zach Cherry]

Baby birds.

[Jennifer]

Back in the goddamn nest back.

[Jake Johnson]

As a dad of 11 year olds, I'm gonna start crying.

[Zach Cherry]

I do think there's something very sweet about. About the idea of doing this because obviously it's like a little silly, but it is a meaningful gesture in the sense that it ties in thematically with movie.

[Jake Johnson]

Yep.

[Zach Cherry]

It's basically saying, like, hey, let's run this back. I want to try this again. I'm willing to dress up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's also.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If the thrust of it is, like, if the point of it is. And I'll be honest, I'm. I can't believe we're this deep into this, but. And then we might pull this off.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, I think it's going down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do too. What we can do is we can. How. Whatever the metric, however, we, like, come up with that plan. Like, if it was like, your mom's hanging out and be like, um. Even if it was like, oh, I have someone coming over to watch me for a little while just because I needed. I wanted a little help around the House, like, ask your mom to be there. Be, like, come over, have a glass of wine. Oh, I have a new housekeeper coming over. She's just gonna start helping me with stuff once a week. And then you have, then you have Carl come over in whatever ensemble. The truth is, it doesn't even need to be that good because this is just going to be a sweet Gareth.

[Jake Johnson]

No, I think we, I think all of that is right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We can't get Harvey Fierstein to do a face to.

[Jake Johnson]

God damn it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. Jake. I mean, we're talking, I guess, San Diego.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Zach, will you walk us through a pitch of how you see this happening? And Jennifer, you're the only one interrupting on this, so will you guys just take it away for a second? Jennifer, I want to hear your thoughts, too, as you're kind of as it's building.

[Jennifer]

Okay?

[Zach Cherry]

I think that's exactly it. I think you say to your mom, you know, can you come over and hang out with me? Whatever that would be for you. If it's. Watch a movie, et cetera. You set up that you have a new housekeeper coming over. And then, boom, your dad walks in the door. He's doing the voice, he's doing the big thing. Maybe you even turn on Mrs. Doubtfire beforehand to kind of like prime the pumps to let, you know, subconsciously let the magic work on your mom. And then you just, you let dad take it from there.

[Jennifer]

Like cook something or clean something.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

He needs to do something. Otherwise we'll all just be standing there. It'll be funny, but then we're stuck.

[Jake Johnson]

Great. Jennifer, now I think you're totally right. Now, will you do a second, Jennifer, and pitch, you know, your family, you know, the four. Can you pitch potentially how the Mrs. Doubtfire could actually work with your dad? And then we could pitch on your pitch.

[Jennifer]

I think he, like, full wig. I'm thinking, I'm thinking like a. What's it like, a midi length dress? I wonder if he would do that. He might. And then I think we need to put makeup on him. So I would need to see him before do some makeup. And then I think I would have to tell her, like, I have someone coming to fix something. She won't believe I have a housekeeper. But if I tell her, like, oh, someone's coming to like, like fix a light. And then it's him. I, I. And then also he has to do he likes the accent for Mrs. Doubtfire. I don't know if he could do it now.

[Jake Johnson]

Even if it's bad.

[Zach Cherry]

He just has to go for it.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, he just has to go for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It because she's going to think it's Mrs. Doubtfire.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but you never know, Gareth. So does Jennifer's. Jennifer. Does your mom know the movie, too?

[Jennifer]

She knows it, but not the way he does.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Do you think a sweet gesture will wake your mom up from this? And go, I'm turning 60. I'm a little afraid. I love this guy. Maybe we just need to have a real conversation about going with, like, opening up or doing what we do. But we are partners in this game, and we are going to grow old together. Do you think deep down, something like that could wake your mom up to say, I'm not restarting over. What's your real gut feeling, Jennifer? Because what we don't want is just your dad shows up in a dress. Your mom goes, this is weird. And you go, I was out of pocket podcast. And then your mom goes, okay. And your dad goes like, shall I do the dishes? Like, look, it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's changing in the bathroom.

[Jake Johnson]

And then he goes like, honey, it was me all along. And she's like, you're a goofball, dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right?

[Jake Johnson]

So that what we're looking for if this happens, Jennifer. And who knows? We're just doing a podcast from our homes right now. We're goddamn zooming it. But if we could actually bring your parents back together with Zach's Mrs. Doubtfire pitch we've achieved in the world of podcasts, everybody.

[Jennifer]

Definitely.

[Jake Johnson]

If you call back and go, my parents are happily back together because my dad Mrs. Doubt fired my mom. Guys, we're in a different zone. And Jennifer, you know it too. So we now have to really work together to figure out how mom can come back to dad because of a Doubt Fire. So what is your mom, in your real opinion? What is she missing from your dad?

[Jennifer]

They used to do a lot of fun things together. I think she misses, like, going out to dinner. They used to go out dancing. That's also important. My dad's a good dancer and he loves to dance. So now we're talking.

[Jake Johnson]

So Mrs. Doubtfire needs to be a dancer. Keep going.

[Jennifer]

Oh, yes. And, yeah, no, she loves to dance, so she never gets to dance anymore. She's quite introverted. She doesn't really go out and do stuff by herself. So I think she just really misses, like, having someone to go do stuff.

[Jake Johnson]

Why did dad stop doing this, Jennifer?

[Jennifer]

Yeah, I mean, I don't know. That's. That's a good question.

[Jake Johnson]

He got older, he got tired.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It could Be interesting to. Because if you say, like, I used to cook. Okay, here's a pitch on this.

[Jake Johnson]

What is that one, too?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What if you say this. What if you say to your mom, I want to have a girl's night. I want you to come over. I've hired a chef. Chef who? She's going to come over and prepare dinner for us. This is our Mrs. Doubtfire. We almost try to sneak your Chef Doubtfire into the house with ingredients. So your dad is going to cook dinner. And then when your dad finishes cooking dinner, he brings it in, sets it down. And your mom probably is suspect at this point, but we kind of hide mom, dad in the kitchen for a little while, and when he sets it down, it's actually dinner for the two of them. Them. And he's cooking. And then you put on some music after dinner, and they have a dance there.

[Jake Johnson]

I. I like the ending. I got a pitch. All right, Zach, you got one?

[Zach Cherry]

No, that's very sweet. I love that.

[Jake Johnson]

I got a pitch. You tell your mom you just found a new dance instructor who's great, and you paid for her to get a free lesson. And his name, it's like, whatever kind of dance you like the most. If it's salsa, if it's whatever. And she's like, what? And you go, mom, I know you used to like to do this stuff with dad. You're out there again, and I know that, like, dad stopped doing this fun, spontaneous stuff. So you're looking for a new dance partner, someone who's going to. And, like, you know, we don't want you guys splitting up, but we love you both. And so I found somebody who's going to give you do all the stuff you want. His name is Mario. He's from Portugal. He is. And she's like, oh, how old is he? Your dad's age? What does he do? Similar to what your dad does. He also has four kids. We. We. We song them. Oh, he's perfect. He's going through a divorce, too, from a woman right around your age. He's just getting out there. He works with his son. And so she's like. Then when the. When Mario gets to the door, it's your dad in a full Portuguese dance outfit with an outfit. And she goes, what are you doing? And he goes, do not talk to me like you know me. I am not your boring old sack of potato husband. I am Mario. And you go. And you. All the kids all go like, mario, thank you for coming. And she goes, this is insane. And right then, there's music and they go out on a date. That's another.

[Jennifer]

Are all of my siblings there?

[Jake Johnson]

It's that Jennifer, that's up to you. Probably just you. In case it goes sideways.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. It can be scary.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

So I, I love that because I feel like she would believe that the setup, the. Yes, yes. That setup is believable.

[Zach Cherry]

And would she be charmed by the reveal or would she be like annoyed and be like, I'm out, I'm going home.

[Jennifer]

That's where it really is. That's 50, 50 for me. I could see her doing either same.

[Jake Johnson]

That's why it's a dangerous game. That's why we're playing Russian roulette. You guys all saw the Deer Hunter, correct? Correct.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

You gotta pull the trigger. And then Jennifer, where are you at?

[Jennifer]

I love it. I think it's realistic that I could do it. I think it's what we said before. Like just she could react either way.

[Jake Johnson]

And we might have to do a follow up to figure out how she reacts. But. Yeah, where would you in terms of this idea in this call, Jennifer, were. And I don't think we're at that point, but we might be. And if it doesn't work after I ask this question, then we'll go back to pitching. But what are you gonna do?

[Jennifer]

I think I could get him to dress up and show up at the door and give her a dance lesson. Or they. He could take her on a date to go dancing and he could. Ms. Sapphire Mom Trap my mom question for you.

[Jake Johnson]

Really? Yeah, go ahead. No, you go.

[Jennifer]

I'm thinking about his outfit. I mean, I. I think I can. I'll get him to wear whatever. We just need to figure out what it really is.

[Jake Johnson]

Question for you really fast on this. Would you ever text your dad right now? Would you ever Mrs. Doubtfire Mom?

[Jennifer]

Oh, a thousand percent. I would text him though.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Do you think, will you text him right now? Yeah, I just want to. If we get lucky and he writes.

[Jennifer]

Back, he's always on his phone, so we should get lucky. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

We might have to just get dad on at some point.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Oh, he would like that.

[Jake Johnson]

But we got to see first. So what did Jennifer, will you tell us what the text you're writing?

[Jennifer]

I said, would you ever misses Doubt by your mom?

[Jake Johnson]

No other setup.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what we could do if we wanted, Jake? What we could do is we can see how he responds to this.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

While we take another call with Zach, we could have them set up the call with dad and we could end after this with like maybe a 5 to 10 with dad, with Yumi and Zach, Jennifer and Dad and try to pitch this a little bit in his direction. Is that possible? He responded already. Jesus Christ.

[Jennifer]

Responded, huh?

[Zach Cherry]

Question, wait.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, NAT attack. I'm sorry, Natalie.

[Jennifer]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Natalie's going to call the show real soon about how to get rid of her nickname.

[Jake Johnson]

Not respond to Natalie. But you seem to get excited about Nat Attack. Is that the wrong read?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Jennifer]

It's incorrect.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. So Natalie, will you see if we can get dad on and do Gareth's kind of plan? Is that, is that possible? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that cool, Jennifer?

[Jennifer]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Will you natajack. Will you set up this call and then we can start the next one?

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Thanks, bud.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, Jennifer, we'll talk to you and your dad really soon.

[Jennifer]

Okay? Sounds good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Normal day. Thank you, Jennifer.

[Jake Johnson]

This is gonna work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, talk to you soon.

[Jennifer]

Bye.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, this is gonna work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There we go. That's a pin put in her.

[Jake Johnson]

Incredible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Incredible.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, if it works, can you imagine the. How funny the photos are going to be?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It also, if it works, it will without question, I think, be our best guest first pitch ever.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, when it was right out of the gate, I thought, not a chance. I was like, this is just. I was like, we're gonna. This is a good joke. We're gonna move on when she goes. I think this could work. I thought it's his favorite movie.

[Zach Cherry]

Yeah, that's special.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's special.

[Jake Johnson]

If we pull off, off a Mrs. Doubtfire reunion of a 59 year old and like probably a 62 year old guy these shows in his own. I don't know what we're doing anymore. If all of a sudden they. It works.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, they'll have.

[Zach Cherry]

They'll have to bring Ellen's daytime show back to have them on to talk.

[Jake Johnson]

You know what? Maybe our show's going to do one live daytime episode. All right. Should we do the new call?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah. Whenever I'm looking to travel, I do use booking.com to find my hotel. I find it to be very easy and very helpful. I went to New York. I went to San Francisco. Most recently I went to Portland And I used booking.com to make that trip easy. Or I should say to make those trips.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I go to booking.com I go through the search engine, I find exactly what I want. I'm using the booking.com app. I'm all over the place, baby. I don't know why I said baby. There are many search engines, ways to figure out if you're looking for a hotel or a vacation rental. They're throwing options your way. That's why we say booking that.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

With such vigor, because we believe in it. I right now am in a van in Oklahoma City and I'm not kidding. And you're like, garrett, that sounds pathetic. Well, it does because I went out of my way to use booking.com and I'm so excited at the place I'm going to after the show because it's got a kitchen, it's got two bedrooms. For me and the people that I'm traveling with, it. It truly just makes it easy, you know what you're getting. I can't tell you how many times. If a club books my place, I'm like, what, what is happening here? What year is this hotel from? There's one elevator that's out of order. One's not. You know what I mean? It's just, it's tough. But that's not gonna happen when you use booking.com. so I'm telling you, you can find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode of We're Here to Help, sponsored by Quints. You want to look good, you gotta wear some quints. Quince has good looking clothes. You like a Mongolian cashmere crew neck. I know you do. You like it at around $50. Get it from Quince, baby. You like an iconic 100% leather jacket and versatile flow knit activewear, baby. You get it from Quints. You want to look the part, you want to feel the part, then you get it from Quince. Stop looking like a slob. Go to Quince.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have this green corduroy jacket that I wear all the time. Lots of times I'm getting ready and I'm like, I don't know what to do. T shirt, corduroy jacket. Get out the door. I have Quince jeans. The way they do it is they partner directly with top factories and they cut the cost of the middleman and they pass the savings on to you and me. Indulge in affordable luxury. Go to quints.com heretohel for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q U I N C E.com heretohelp to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com heretohelp this episode is brought to you by me.

[Jake Johnson]

Undies me Undies are undies that me likes to wear. Quite literally. I'm wearing a pair of me undies right now, and I like them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Underwear drawers are like the wild west of wardrobes. We don't know what's going on. Anything goes. You got old pairs. I'll be honest, it's been sad in there at times. There's pairs I'm hanging on to that. Just. It's. They're more of a kilt than a set of underwear. It's like a mini skirt. You know what I'm talking about? This is what we do. But me undies makes it so easy to revamp that zone. Every time I reach for me undies, I know I'm in for some comfort. For a great look. I am hooked. And honestly, they're the only underwear I try to wear.

[Jake Johnson]

Style for everyone. From all black black, which is what I rock, to fun, expressive prints, which Gareth rocks. Me undies has a look for everyone. Plus they come in all sizes. Extra small for me and 4 XL for the Garfman, guaranteeing a flattering cut for everybody. Get 20 off your first order, plus free shipping on orders of 75 or [e-mail] here to help. Enter promo code here to help. That's meundies.com here to help dot Code here to help. For 20% off me undies. Comfort from the outside in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, hello there. Hey. Hey. Where. Who are you running from?

[Jennifer]

You know, work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. We all are in many ways.

[Jennifer]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, what do you do for work? Are you able to talk? It sounds like you're in duress. Yeah, okay.

[Zach Cherry]

No, I am.

[Jennifer]

I'm just. That waiting music was making me nervous.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Best we didn't honestly know we had waiting music till just now. Well, welcome to. We're here to help. You've got Jake, you've got me, and you've got guest helper. We're still sticking with that. The great Zack Cherry is joining us. So you've got three great minds on this one, thank goodness. I. I agree. This is. I'll tell you if Zach's got a hell of a track record so far on this, let's do this for a second.

[Jake Johnson]

Zach, you know the show. Is there any questions you'd like to ask for?

[Zach Cherry]

Yeah, let's hear. Name, age, where you're calling from.

[Jake Johnson]

Going basic.

[Jennifer]

So my name's gonna be Patty J.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Patty J is your made up name. It's very strange. Okay.

[Jennifer]

It's my nickname for my alter ego.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure, sure, sure. We'll get into all that.

[Zach Cherry]

Yes, It's a nickname for your alter ego. It's not the name of your alter ego.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a deep cut.

[Jennifer]

No.

[Zach Cherry]

Okay, yes.

[Jennifer]

I am 22, calling from South Carolina.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And then, Zach, any specific question to get to know Patty J. A little bit more that you could think of? It could be literally anything.

[Zach Cherry]

What? Name three things you can see right now.

[Jennifer]

A bench, a bush, and a tree.

[Zach Cherry]

Oh, I need all.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Patty J, you're seeing a bench of bush in a tree, South Carolina. By the way, merch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Start selling benches.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Patty J, what do we got today? What's going on?

[Jennifer]

Okay, so my issue is causing quite the kerfuffle in my home. I can't stop drunk eating my roommates food.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow. Wow, this is so relatable.

[Jake Johnson]

It is. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I used to have this problem.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, yeah, Use. Yeah, I agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely.

[Jake Johnson]

So you get drunk and you eat your roommate's food.

[Jennifer]

Only when I come home from going out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Drunk. Yeah, yeah, we know what drunk is. Yeah, for sure. Okay.

[Jennifer]

Okay.

[Zach Cherry]

And are we talking snacks? Are we talking like whole meals that they've made and is in the fridge? What. What kind of food are you eating? Eating?

[Jennifer]

It's mostly snacks. So it started with cheese balls.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It always does. And then progressed a little bit to what? Where are we at now? What do you mean progressed?

[Jennifer]

It was like a little bit of my roommate's burrito.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, that is, honest to God, too far.

[Zach Cherry]

That's not snacks.

[Jake Johnson]

No. Now if somebody. If I have a roommate that eats some of the chips I have, I'm like, come on, on. If you're eating a half eaten burrito that I have saved for myself. What's happening?

[Jennifer]

It was just a little bit. It was just a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

But by the way, you're taking bites of a burrito. That's worse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's remember though, we're not. We're talking to Patty J. She's sober, she's smart. She's sober, she's smart.

[Jake Johnson]

Patty J. Is a different.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We don't have. We don't get to talk to her. She's not gonna be on this call.

[Jake Johnson]

She might. Patty J. You got any Jagermeister?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He might get it hammered.

[Jake Johnson]

I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me just ask you this question very quickly and then if there's more setup, you can get into it. How angry on a scale of 1 to 10 is your roommate about this behavior? Because I've experienced moderate frustration to get out.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

So I lost access to the frying pan. I'm not allowed. I. They are Hidden somewhere in the house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Jennifer]

And the Brita and the ice maker.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, they're trying to dehydrate you out.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's talk for a second here, Patty, what's your roommate situation? Who you living with? How many people?

[Jennifer]

So I live with two girls who I met on the Internet.

[Jake Johnson]

So not friends.

[Jennifer]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

You're weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know Savage.

[Jake Johnson]

Patty, you're eating a stranger's burrito when you're drunk. You're weird.

[Zach Cherry]

Nibbling.

[Jake Johnson]

No, Zach, just nibbling. And by the way, I thought you were supposed to say here. These were old friends. I've had random stranger roommates. If a random stranger roommate ate half of my sandwich, we're in a world of trouble.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I, I, One could argue nibbling.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, you are? Okay. But you met on the Internet. Met, yes.

[Jennifer]

Okay, so we were friends first.

[Zach Cherry]

Okay, so you met on the Internet and then moved in together. You didn't just, like, find them?

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, that's very different. Okay, never mind. Okay, and then, so you guys are all in college. 22 are right out of college. Right in that zone.

[Jennifer]

We're about right out of college.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. And you're all living together and kind of partying a little bit in South Carolina, having some fun. And is anybody doing the kind of jobs they're going to do for their whole life? Are you guys doing more jobs where it's kind of like a couple of fun years together? In this situation, I am more so.

[Jennifer]

Working like, I work in a hospital. So that's something I kind of want to progress. But then they're still kind of figuring it out as they go, you know, That's a surprise.

[Jake Johnson]

So you're the most serious.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, they're busy shopping. They don't have time to get their lives on track back. They're replacing food and so.

[Jake Johnson]

And Patty, how often you drink in here, Big dog?

[Jennifer]

Honestly, with my work schedule, like, once or twice a month.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, okay. So not very often. You let it rip. But when, when you let it rip, do you become Patty J?

[Jennifer]

I do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the alt.

[Jake Johnson]

So the real lady, we don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Patricia.

[Jake Johnson]

Patricia. Patricia.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Drinks.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You become Patty J.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And can and can I try to fill out the profile a little here? Patricia's healthy. Patricia tries to eat a goddamn hospital. Patricia's having salads. Patricia's really trying to just keep it all pretty good to go. And that Patty J. Is a wolf.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, you're essentially talk. You're talking to three Patty J's right now.

[Zach Cherry]

Patty J's?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. So you know what the Connecting tissue of trying to make your life into Hollywe is not what people think. It is not for the attention, it's not for the awards, it's not for the money. It's to be lifelong Patty J's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, truly.

[Jake Johnson]

And so. Question for you. So you get drunk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is your question, when is that truck gonna stop backing up that she's next to or. Oh, okay.

[Jennifer]

I'm trying to get away from it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go ahead, Jake. Sorry.

[Jake Johnson]

So you get drunk and turn into Patty J. And eat all their food and you. The question is, is how do I stop?

[Jennifer]

I've worked on stopping and I've been pretty good about it, but it's more so how to try to make amends so it's not super awkward up until our le.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, that's a very clear question. Great job, Patty. So the question is next. So, Zach, what are you thinking? You haven't been talking that much.

[Zach Cherry]

Yeah. Did we ever get clarity on how mad the roommates are about this? Because I do need to hear a little bit about what has their response be. And you said until your lease ends. So does it sound like at the end of the lease you're going your separate ways? This is not going to be a continuing roommate situation.

[Jake Johnson]

Yip.

[Jennifer]

No. I fear that that bridge has burned.

[Zach Cherry]

Because of Patty J. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. It's that bad? Patty J. O.

[Jennifer]

Okay, I know, I know.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Patty, can you tell us a little bit about Patty J.

[Jennifer]

She has dance moves that no one has ever seen before and nobody should see, Honestly. She drinks a lot of tequila sh. Shot, if that makes any sense. And she gets hungry.

[Jake Johnson]

And what's Patty J's behavior when she comes home? What's her volume? What does Patty J do when she gets home from the club?

[Zach Cherry]

Has Patty J ever been confronted in the moment, or is this a discovery after the fact?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, after the fact. Do you remember Patty J eating the burritos?

[Jennifer]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so while Patty's eating them, you're in there. You're just going, patty's a wild animal, man. You're not blacked out. You see it, Patty, and you're going like, patty's a wild dog. Let Patty. Let Patty come. Okay, so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That drunk hunger, though, is something fierce. It really is. It's a. You'll burn a bridge for a burrito when you're drunk.

[Jake Johnson]

So have.

[Jennifer]

Right.

[Jake Johnson]

Have your roommates ever confronted Patty while Patty was hungry, and if so, what happened?

[Jennifer]

No, they never have. It's always been in the morning. A text girl, why did you eat my burrito?

[Jake Johnson]

What what do you write back?

[Jennifer]

I said I'm so sorry. I. It was not. It was. I pretty much will say it's not me. It was Patty. I don't think they appreciate that.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Yeah, they will.

[Jennifer]

They'll venmo request me for their burrito fair.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. And you pay it.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. I'm just trying to start.

[Jake Johnson]

I understand.

[Zach Cherry]

Are you more financially stable than the other two? You have your hospital job. They're still kind of figuring it out.

[Jennifer]

Well, I think we're all not super financially stable. Okay.

[Zach Cherry]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. So you know what I will say to not Patty J. Because I. I'm not talking to Patty J. So I'm talking. This call has been Patricia.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And so great set of Patricia. Very clear. Your question was just to remind myself and the team. Will you say it again?

[Jennifer]

Yeah, just how to make amends. Make it so I can use a frying pan in the house. And it's not hitting in.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. I got my first pitch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Same. Go.

[Jake Johnson]

You. You go first. Zach, you go first.

[Zach Cherry]

I. I need to hear a little more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Gareth, you go first.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I think we. We got to do a. A two pronger here. The base coat is that when we know Pat. Cuz we. It's not like Patty J. Just emerges out of nowhere. She's a scheduled arrival. So when we know that Patty J. Is going to be in the house, we need to buffer the roommate snacks. We need to buy extra snacks for Patty J. You kind of have to shake yourself out of this belief that you can control Patty Jay. You're only doing it once to twice a month. I would get some snack mix. I would get a burrito. I would. Prep yourself for the arrival of Patty Jay. She's going to do what she's going to do. She's not going to listen to reason.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm going to. I'm going to pitch on that pitch because I'm close, but a little different.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I have a second part for the amends, but go ahead.

[Jake Johnson]

You go ahead then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, my amends pitch is that we need to put together like a basket with a bunch of snacks and like tortillas and things like that. And a nice card that's written from Patty J. Who expresses that she's a boar, a wild animal. And when she comes home, there's nothing that stands in her way.

[Jake Johnson]

New pitch. I have a whole new pitch. How much longer are you going to be living there there?

[Jennifer]

Four more months.

[Jake Johnson]

Can. Can you make an agreement that you're not going to get drunk and come Home in the next four months.

[Jennifer]

I could try.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's what I want to do, but.

[Jennifer]

It might be kind of hard, but.

[Jake Johnson]

Here'S what I want to do. I want you guys. I want you to tell your roommates that Patty J. Was just murdered.

[Jennifer]

P. Oh, my God. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And go. Like, guys, I have really sad news. As you guys know, I'm great, but twice a month, this woman comes here, Patty J. And she's the one who eats your. She eats your cheese balls. Here's the reality. It's not me. It's Patty J. And I just got word she was murdered in Cuba. And they go, what? And I go, yeah, she's not coming back. And then if it comes back and you do get drunk, then they're also dealing with Patty J. But it's not. Not you, it's Patty J. I.

[Jennifer]

Then the ghost of Patty.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ. I can't believe we have our follow up.

[Jake Johnson]

They go, did you, by the way, Patty? You're totally right. They go, girl, did you eat my burrito? You. Right.

[Zach Cherry]

What?

[Jake Johnson]

Of course. Patty J's dead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh. If you've got something, Zach, go ahead. I have another hat on your pitch, Jake.

[Zach Cherry]

I was gonna say, I like the idea of leaning into the distinction between Patricia and Patty J.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Zach Cherry]

One other angle. That is. Maybe you get even angrier at Patty J.

[Jake Johnson]

Than they just go in there. Yes.

[Zach Cherry]

You. You're like, I hate Patty J. She's ruining my life. Like, I need. I need your help. We're in this together, the three of us. It's this piece of shit, and you're you. You bring them in, and whether or not it works, it will probably confuse them to the point where they're no longer mad at you. They're now made.

[Jake Johnson]

It becomes a game. And you go, so, guys, we have an issue on our hands, and we have to work together. And you put. Like, if you're going out drinking, you put a sign up like, wanted. Patty J. Yes. Thief of burritos. Put a lock on the fridge that you go, guys, we all know it only happens twice a month, but I hate Patty. We all hate Patty. We need to work together to keep Patty out of the goddamn fridge and where she belongs. In a hotel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's interesting, too.

[Jake Johnson]

Or asleep. Or some random person's house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're living in a dream world, Patricia.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She shouldn't go to bed. I've got a pitch that maybe combines your two ideas. What if we. One night, when you know they're coming home, you prep the place and you hold the funeral for Patty J. And you get some really nice food. You treat. But we all get to sit there and we all get to kind of briefly eulogize her her before we have cheese balls and burritos and some of Patty's favorite foods that we know the roommates also enjoy. And you kind of humanize her. But then it's kind of an event you guys can share together. So it's sort of hatchet bearing a little.

[Jake Johnson]

I got a pitch on that pitch too. But I think we're getting really close to nailing this one so. Because the only problem with and it was mine too. The kill her or the funeral is that we all know Patty's gonna eat everything she sees when she gets home. Yeah. So welcome back. But.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But to your point, Jake, if we out of the house for four months.

[Jake Johnson]

We'Re not going to. But I agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're living on.

[Jake Johnson]

I made a mistake there, cuz she's 22.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like that Patricia even said that was possible.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but so. And then. But I also really loved what Zach was saying of. You also hate Patty J. Here's what I would pitch to you. When you're going to go out drinking. Cuz let's be honest, you know what you're going to do. You know, this is a night you're going out. You tell them your friend Patty J is going to spend the night. But Patty J is a nightmare. So you need to prepare for Patty J. So on the kitchen table, get like a corned beef sandwich. Get some like weird mix next to it and you leave out Patty J's dinner as if Patty J. Was like an inmate getting out of jail. We have different takes. An inmate getting out of jail and spending the night. You make sure Patty J has Patty J's food. So like guys, I recommend there's going to be a weird 2 liter thing of Dr. Pepper. There's going to be a corn beef sandwich and there's going to be like funions. Trust me. Don't touch Patty J's food. Food. She sucks. I'm keeping her away from your stuff and I'm gonna distract her so there's gonna be like a weird light on the kitchen table. Tomorrow morning she will be gone, but Patty J. Will be here tonight. I will do everything in my power to keep her quiet and keep her at the kitchen table. But guys, if you're gonna lock up food, tonight's the night. And so we are aware that Patty's coming and you are doing the prep work so that your friends Go. My friend's really weird, but she did fix the problem. They didn't eat our food. We just had to deal with a corned beef sandwich on the kitchen table all night.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your. Your food pitches are horrifyingly accurate. I agree.

[Jake Johnson]

I want it to be Patty J's food. So, Zach, where are you at when you're hearing this?

[Zach Cherry]

Before we get to you, Patty, I think that's. That's fantastic. I think it's hard boiled eggs left out loose. I think it's big pile of sauerkraut peanuts. This is the kind of stuff that Patty J's is ready to.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. You make a gross mix six and surprise.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Patty, don't go too gross though.

[Jake Johnson]

You'll eat a burrito. You're totally.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Patty could turn to the other go this. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm not eating sauerkraut and funyuns. I'm eating that burrito, dude. And cheese. I do.

[Zach Cherry]

I do have a question, which is do your roommates ever go out? Do they have their own Patty J's? Whoever make an appearance.

[Jennifer]

They don't.

[Jake Johnson]

They do go out, but they don't become. But they. They.

[Jennifer]

They don't. They don't.

[Zach Cherry]

Gotcha.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're not like you. They're not like us.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They have control.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Patty, where are you kind of at?

[Jennifer]

So I'm thinking that having a nice bread of a little less disturbing food.

[Jake Johnson]

But food, you know, Patty would like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, by the way, what about. What about I welcome home. What if you do it lovingly to Patty? You put a banner that says like, welcome back. Thanks for the visitors. It got your favorite food.

[Jennifer]

And when Patty comes to visit, she brings food for the roommates as well.

[Jake Johnson]

That's great.

[Zach Cherry]

I was going to suggest a slight alternate is, you know, maybe you give them the opportunity to eat some of your food in a wink, wink way. So you buy some stuff that they like. You label it like, this is mine. Do not eat. And kind of like present it to them as like, oh, hey, you better not eat this. You know, remember what happened when I ate your stuff? I lost frying pan privilege.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right?

[Zach Cherry]

And then you. And then you let them kind of have that little. They get a win over you by eating a little bit of your food.

[Jake Johnson]

There's other. There's another move on that Patty where you turn this into a celebration of your dear friend Patty and when she comes. Because it's not a lot and it's happening less as you're getting older. But when Patty comes, you're buying a lot of Food. The food's for everybody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's exactly right.

[Jake Johnson]

You have all this stuff. You have don't get one burrito, get three burritos.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We. If you turn Patty J. Coming to town into a good thing thing.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That flips it on its head. So when Patty comes to town, there's more food.

[Jake Johnson]

It's all of a sudden, my roommate Patricia got six burritos because she doesn't know how much Patty's going to eat. But the reality is Patty only eats one and a half.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're going to come home from a shift and they're going to like, leave a bottle of tequila on the table and be like, can Patty come to play that?

[Jake Johnson]

You know what that is, by the way, Gareth, that's the goal. We need to make everybody like Patty. Because when Patty comes to town, you, Patricia, make Patty a dream visitor. There is everybody's favorite snacks on the table and you're just setting up. And you know how you pay for it at the end of the night when you want one more round of shots, don't get them or just have to buy around or like literally save one cost. Where you go, I'm not going to buy this round for these four girls and I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But, but Jake, I think that's great. And in theory that's great. But we also have to remember that Patty J. Knows one law and that's Patty J. Law.

[Jake Johnson]

I agree with you. It's hard to logic with Patty, but that's why we're doing logic with Patricia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're stacking the deck. I agree. There's a lot of good.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Patty, you got a lot of interesting pitches here. Will you tell us what you're going to do?

[Jennifer]

I do think we have a winner. I as a person, I love sharing. So even if I did eat my food, that wouldn't bother me. That would. I don't want, like, oh, that means that we're close. Anyhow, I think that when Patricia comes, when Patty comes to town, you should bring a lot of food.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. And Patricia getting it or is Patty getting it?

[Jennifer]

I think it has to be.

[Jake Johnson]

It's hard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Patricia, Patricia, why You can't be getting.

[Jake Johnson]

Them while you're tequila driving. Like the worst decisions. And then you eat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Patricia, Patricia prepares for Patty.

[Jennifer]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Jake Johnson]

But do you mean yes or are you thinking Patty's got it?

[Jennifer]

Well, it would definitely have to be a pre.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. In the morning, Patricia.

[Jennifer]

Yes. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

But you are setting up. Go ahead.

[Zach Cherry]

Zach, is that reasonable or does Patty, like, do you know when Patty's coming to town or does Patty kind of just show up uninvited.

[Jennifer]

Sometimes? I know, know I can prepare since I don't go out that much sometimes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The greatest. Such a 22 year old answer. So great.

[Jake Johnson]

I. I actually can get. I get this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do too.

[Jake Johnson]

You're like, I'm letting Patty out tonight. I'm gonna have a goddamn blast. But now, guess what? At 22, Patricia, you just have to prepare others for Patty. So you have a responsibility to take care of Patty. And this is an easy fix with these roommates. They're not really mad at you. It's just a little much. So you just go a little much in the other direction. And you have four months to write this wrong. And it's going to end very positive.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I definitely think before you go out, put like a spread on the table that is for everybody. And all you ask is leave Patty.

[Jake Johnson]

Enough, because if you don't, she's coming after you. We all know this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Now, so I got a question for you now for our show. First of all, are you going to do this?

[Jennifer]

I want to. Yeah. It sounds like an easy enough fix.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Will you then do. When is the next time? And you know the answer to this. What is the next time Patty's coming out?

[Jennifer]

It might be on Friday.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, perfect. So let's lean into it being Friday. Will you take a photo of the spread that you lean out and send to us so we can post that along with it? And then will you take a photo of the same spread in the morning when Patricia wakes up?

[Jennifer]

Yes.

[Zach Cherry]

I do think you need to tell your roommates that's why you're doing. I think, you know, you need to let them in on that. This is, you know, to make amends. You know, you've been eating their food. You want to get out ahead of that. Patty J. Might be in town on Friday and this is her spread, but it's for everyone, Zach.

[Jake Johnson]

You're totally right. Patricia, would you do something for us? Will you, on your phone, make a voice note and record you telling your friends the plan of what's going to happen with Patty J. This phone Friday to my roommates.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, I don't know if I. I could text it to them.

[Jake Johnson]

You would rather text it.

[Jennifer]

Or if we're not usually home at the same time. We're not.

[Jake Johnson]

They're not home at the same time. You want to just do a text?

[Jennifer]

I can, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Or do you want us to, all three of us right now, leave a note and explain to them. What's happening? And you could just send them this voice note so we could do it as a group.

[Jennifer]

Oh my gosh, yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, let's do that. Zach, will you take the lead of this? Yeah, sure. We're not preparing. We're just starting. And Patricia, now we. We can't use. Do they know the name Patty J. Would they know or what names should we use here? Give us real names and we'll be them out.

[Jennifer]

Okay. My real name.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, your real name. Probably yours.

[Jennifer]

My real name?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Is my real name is.

[Jake Johnson]

We're not beeping it out. You just been hustled.

[Zach Cherry]

You just been.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're here to help season. No podcast.

[Jake Johnson]

Gotcha. You drunk. What's your last name? I'm calling you parents. You've been had. Okay, so. And then who is your real alter alter ego?

[Jennifer]

My real alter ego is Patricia Jones.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hilarious. So really, we just gotta laugh the best. I think she tried to keep Patty's last name anonymous, which is also incredible. I. I need an hour or so to sort of digest this.

[Jake Johnson]

So now we're going to leave a quick. What we're going to do is we're going to do a voice note and. And you're part of it. So maybe you start it and say hi to your roommates and say there's something I need to tell you about what's going to happen with Friday. Can you do that for us?

[Jennifer]

Oh, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And then Zach, you take the lead and we'll jump into. And then whenever you're ready.

[Jennifer]

Okay. Hey guys. I know I've been eating your food when I get drunk and I just wanted to apologize and make amends with you guys. So I have a couple of that are here to help me.

[Zach Cherry]

Hey, that's right. Hey guys, this is Zach. Or as you could call me, Daddy J. Nope, I gotta abandon ship on this one.

[Jake Johnson]

Keep going.

[Zach Cherry]

So we just. We're here talking to you on behalf of and of course her infamous alter ego, Patricia Jones. And we know she was nibbling on the burrito and we don't like that. And she doesn't like that. No, we're all the same page. That wasn't. That wasn't great. So we have a new game plan for when Patty J. Comes to town. So let's tell you all about it.

[Jake Johnson]

This Friday, going to go out and she's going to get drunk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's going to get Patty Jade, she's.

[Jake Johnson]

Going to get Patricia Jones. And we all know what happens when she gets Patricia Jones. She comes in the house, she Eats your burrito and your cheese balls and it pisses everybody off. Including. And really sorry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Zach, what. What's our game plan here?

[Zach Cherry]

So Patty J is going to have a new modus operandi, which is she is going provide snacks for the evening. She's going to lay out a beautiful spread of all your favorite foods. All we know is cheese balls and burritos. I assume you eat other things, but that's a conversation between you and your God.

[Jake Johnson]

And that. And that's. Right. And that night on Friday, when that spreads out there, you guys are allowed to eat it. Because guess what? Patricia Jones is back in town. She's only going to be around for two more times each month, so in four months, you're not going to see her very much. Much. But Patty J's bringing food and the food's for everyone. But just do us a favor and leave enough for Patricia. Cuz Patricia comes home drunk and needs to eat. And when she's done eating, if she's still hungry, she's going to eat your food, which we don't want. Am I right, Garfman? What do you think?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I agree. It's Gareth. Yep. That's all of it, pretty much.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you. Good job.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, nailed it.

[Jake Johnson]

So we can send that over. Over. And then will we. Can we do that via a text? We'll just send it to them, see what the response is. And then on Friday, will you set the whole thing up, take a photo of it and then follow up with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Us and honestly, this first one, do it real well.

[Jake Johnson]

Get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would stack the deck for this first one so that we really are making this a salve.

[Jennifer]

Okay. I'm. I got my brain thinking, I already have a night idea.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, great. And then surprises with that photo.

[Jennifer]

Okay, I will.

[Jake Johnson]

And you're gonna do all this?

[Jennifer]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great.

[Jennifer]

I have nothing to lose.

[Jake Johnson]

I think you're totally right. You have only things to gain.

[Jennifer]

I think we have a win.

[Jake Johnson]

I do too.

[Jennifer]

Thank you so much, guys. So excited.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, so are we. Let's party.

[Jennifer]

Thank you so much.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, we are back. Jennifer, let us know what's happening.

[Jennifer]

Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

Hello.

[Jennifer]

He was kind of down. He's on the call, unfortunately. But I. I just. He wasn't. He wasn't ready.

[Jake Johnson]

Walk us through what happened since we've been gone.

[Jennifer]

So I called him. I let him know that I wrote in. He was like, oh, that's so sweet that you want us to get back together. And I told him. Him briefly. I was like, yeah, they're talking. Sort of like a Mrs. Do Fire lead. And he said, oh, so I would dress up. And I was like, yeah. And he wasn't opposed to that. And then he said maybe he'd be more down for like a follow up situation. So he's definitely not saying no. Oh, so that's good.

[Jake Johnson]

So he's gonna do it. He just didn't want to be on the call right now.

[Jennifer]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jennifer]

And he also was on a long walk and like huffing and puffing, so.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, so this is still good news.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you're being chased?

[Zach Cherry]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

So long.

[Jennifer]

He likes to walk.

[Jake Johnson]

So Jennifer, what are you going to do next?

[Jennifer]

I think I can tell him your guys pitch and see since he seemed like kind of down, I think it might actually happen.

[Jake Johnson]

So can we do something really fast? Jennifer, can you pitch us what you're going to pitch him?

[Jennifer]

Okay, I'm going to say that I'm going to go to my mom's house and I'm going to tell her that I invited a dance instructor over to do a private lesson with us because I know she's been like really missing that part of her life. And I'm going to tell him, you know, dad, like, I think it'd be a good idea for you to dress up and let's essentially miss Stout fire her. And like I bought you the outfit, I'm ready. You need to be there this Friday at 6pm but once you get there, I'm going to leave and hopefully it goes well. And you guys, you can take her dancing that place you like or you could stay home because you're gonna be all dressed up and you have to do a special accent and then I'll see what he says.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, and do you think? I think this is great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think it's amazing that we had a half hour away and I'm hearing it back now and I'm like, what is happening? But I agree, I'm in.

[Jake Johnson]

And do you think, do you think you should be there that night to help make sure it goes smoothly rather than leave right away? Cuz what you don't want to do is you set it up. Your dad's in a weird mariachi outfit and you leave and your mom goes, what are you doing? And he goes, I'm not sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me come.

[Jake Johnson]

Jennifer, I'd like you to take off. And he's like, okay, shall I salsa out of here? And she's like, I want a divorce. That's why I'm divorcing you. Because you do what other people tell you to do and you're don't think it out. And he yes. So do we want to. Do we want more of a safety net for dad and that is you are curating their evening a little.

[Jennifer]

I think that I could stay or if I leave I could become a common villain if it goes bad. He. They could start complaining about how, you know, ridiculous this was and then they can bond over that.

[Jake Johnson]

That I actually like that. But I would maybe put that. I would put that in dad's ear.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, like. Like I kind of made him do it.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. Then it's silly, but he's doing it. And then maybe they could get in a conversation of she made me do it. But I do want to be back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

With you and I like dancing with you.

[Jake Johnson]

I miss that and I miss dancing.

[Jennifer]

Maybe they'll just go cuz he's already there.

[Jake Johnson]

So you know, I've got a question for you about the dance place. Is it buying tickets?

[Jennifer]

No. No tickets.

[Jake Johnson]

So here's what I would recommend you do. And nobody likes to spend money. I would book them a car that you get your siblings to do too. And here's why. He gets there, you leave. Then there's a town car out front and it's going to take him there and pick him up at midnight. Whether they go or not. There's a town car there, it's been paid for. So he's like, like can we just do this? Cuz what you're hoping is they have a couple of drinks.

[Jennifer]

I like that.

[Jake Johnson]

And all of a sudden she goes like this is so stupid. He goes, you think it's stupid? Look at the pants I'm wearing because of Jennifer. And then they have a drink together, they have a little bit of fun. And she goes, if you like peanut coladas getting stuck in the. And it's you all along. We raised our kids together. What are we going to do? Find somebody else. Spin. Spin.

[Jennifer]

That's good. She's not gonna want it. The car is already there.

[Jake Johnson]

The car. She can't say no.

[Jennifer]

No. It's weird.

[Jake Johnson]

Someone waiting there and then why not drink? You have a car service. Because what we need is exactly.

[Jennifer]

They will.

[Jake Johnson]

You need alcohol.

[Jennifer]

Oh yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's what we're looking to have happen. Jennifer. And I'm sorry to say this, you're the daughter. But right now we're just on the pitching team. We're looking for mom and dad to Jennifer. If you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If Jake swallowed that too much. No, no, no. I just want to make sure she heard it. Jake said yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Cuz what we're looking for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you heard that. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And you know this.

[Zach Cherry]

Sexual intercourse.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sex with each other.

[Jake Johnson]

But you know this. Jennifer, you're not a kid. How do people who are kind of on the outs refind the thing.

[Zach Cherry]

Often through sexual intercourse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you. I think just to be clear, I threw an alley. You.

[Jake Johnson]

I was hoping somebody was going to die for the ball. Over the rim, air buds it and dunks it. Thank you. And so nobody likes that part of it. Gareth hates when it happens with Pam and I, but when we're fighting, that's what happens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake, Jake, focus.

[Jake Johnson]

I can't because I haven't eaten yet and I'm getting hungry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Focused.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm focused. So, Jennifer, can we do that whole date but book the town car?

[Jennifer]

Yeah, definitely.

[Jake Johnson]

And what we're hoping for and like, what's your mom's favorite drink of choice? Is it like a bottle of wine? Is it a town Gila?

[Jennifer]

Yeah, she loves wine.

[Jake Johnson]

Your dad shows up with her favorite wine that you've bought.

[Jennifer]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

So once you're there, before you leave, you know what you're doing. She. She goes, what is this? You're opening the wine, giving her a drink. Giving him a drink. And she goes like, jennifer, what are you doing? And you go like, I'm just telling you what the night is. And then he goes, she's doing all of this. She called some silly podcasts cast. And then she goes, what? And then you look outside and there's a town car.

[Jennifer]

Oh, can I actually realistic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can I add? Can I add. And this might be. This might be a hat on a hat. But mom might not be prepped for the evening. What if we get her kind of a nice sort of dress that kind of matches what Mario's wearing a little bit. So the two of them are kind of going, going.

[Jake Johnson]

They look hot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They look hot. And they're in unison a little bit on the same page. It maybe saw it.

[Zach Cherry]

Maybe.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, I have an idea of how to do that. Go, Jennifer. You tie in another sibling that does a girls day with mom. Where you got. They get their nails done, they get their faces put on. They have a full mom spa day.

[Jennifer]

Oh, easy. My sister will be so perfect for that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you saying spa day ends with the purchase of some sort of dress that matches Great.

[Zach Cherry]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

But it's like. And they go like, why are you doing this? And it's like, you know, my Jennifer and I decided we want to do this for you. And so all of a sudden it's like, just please play along. Just have fun. So she's looking better than she's looked in a while. And then here's what we got to do with dad. Dad can't look goofy as Mario.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Dad's got to look hot as. Let's get that. Let's get that jet black hair.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

This is changing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is good turn.

[Jennifer]

But it took a perfect turn.

[Zach Cherry]

This is. This is. This is just about the most romantic thing I've ever heard.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. We'd like to drive out for the event. Is that okay? Is that crazy? Okay, great.

[Jake Johnson]

All right. So, Jennifer, what are you thinking now?

[Jennifer]

I think this is the best. The best one we've thought of yet. I think, too, having her distracted and also feeling good about herself during the day will put her in a good mood. So there's less risk of her being annoyed and more that. Oh, there's a car here. I have wine. We should go.

[Jake Johnson]

You know, we're. You know, we're actually now doing Jennifer Parent trapping. Parent trapping.

[Jennifer]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

It went from doubtire. It started at parent trap. It went from parent trap to doubtfire.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a kind of a doubtfire trap.

[Jake Johnson]

It's a doubtfire trap.

[Zach Cherry]

It's a parent with a doubtfire rip cord. If your dad needs it, he can go down fire.

[Jake Johnson]

But we. Yeah, so. But this is. They're both. Your dad looks great. Your mom looks great. There's you. The night they're doing it is the night that they're. That dance at the place they like to be. He shows up, she shows up. He goes, you look beautiful. And she's like, I mean, I got a full day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think at the end of this, too, lets your sister and you credit dad with the day. Mom just had a little bit too, you know, like, put that on D. Dad. Yes. That was dad. Dad wanted to do this for you so that when you met Mario, you guys were ready to go dancing. By the way, there's a car in the driveway.

[Zach Cherry]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. Oh, I love that.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Jennifer, you gotta document a lot of this.

[Jennifer]

Yes, I know. I. I've earned it.

[Jake Johnson]

There's a lot of photos I want of. Of dad. This. Yeah, the town car.

[Jennifer]

Y.

[Zach Cherry]

And if he does an accent. We need a voice note.

[Jake Johnson]

We need a voice note as well. Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can I add one more? And guys, if I'm getting cuckoo bananas, just say, gareth, get out of here.

[Jake Johnson]

Parmesan the mom right on her head.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, with parmesan the town. No, we rose petal the back seat.

[Jake Johnson]

With Parmesan with parmesan. Well, we don't want to turn this into the golden bachelor. We should. We get. Will you have a black dragon go like this? What do you guys think? So one of you is getting a rose to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My dream is to be the driver of the town car and make it all about me. Start to kind of sour the event by just talking.

[Jake Johnson]

The driver is talking a lot about his standup.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I tell you what, I don't know what they're doing, but they're not improving it with all this construction.

[Jake Johnson]

Gilly beans here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You guys seem like a lovely couple. My wife and I are on the skids.

[Jake Johnson]

So. Jennifer, are you doing it?

[Jennifer]

Yes. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Love it. All right, follow up. This is a big win. I think this could be the most romantic episode we've ever, ever had.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jennifer]

A thanks. Thank you guys.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, it depends how it ends.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. By the way, we want the credit. We don't want the blame. That's how this works.

[Jake Johnson]

Cuz this could go absolutely.

[Zach Cherry]

If it goes poorly. You never met me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We were never here.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

But I don't think it's going to. I think this is going to work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do too.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Zach Cherry]

It's really sweet. I think it's really sweet.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you. Thanks for calling in fun one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Keep us posted, Jennifer.

[Jennifer]

I will.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

See you.

[Jennifer]

Okay, thanks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bye.

[Jake Johnson]

We're here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ Helpful Pod Gmail.com. and if you want to watch video episodes of we're here to help, you can go to our [e-mail] hereto help pod to see our entire cast catalog. We're here to Help is produced by.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rabbit Grimm Productions executive producers Rob Hollis.

[Jake Johnson]

Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only. And all all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Jennifer]

All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon. And season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com heretohelpod hey, I'm Wayne Brady.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I'm Jonathan Mangum.

[Jake Johnson]

And we're two big improv nerds who get a chance to play and make stuff up on shows like Whose Line Is It Anyway? Or let's Make a Deal. And we're now hosting a new improvised show called what if on the Headgum Podcast Network. And on what if we believe that improvisation is a conversation. So we get to have conversations with guests from the worlds of tv, film, tech and literature. Guests like Bobby Moynihan, Aisha Tyler, LeVar Burton, and Adam Conover. We ask them the big ridiculous questions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like what if you hurt a monkey's feelings?

[Jake Johnson]

What if your grandma was a secret agent? What if Jonathan was invited to the cookout? And then we turn the conversation into spontaneous scenes, songs. Well, because that's what we do. Subscribe to what if on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Cast, wherever you get your.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Podcasts, and watch episodes on YouTube.

[Jake Johnson]

No script, no net, just what if.