158: Sir, This Is a Gym & Is This Erin?

Summary

Podcast Summary: "We're Here to Help" Episode 158 – "Sir, This Is a Gym & Is This Erin?"

Introduction

In Episode 158 of We're Here to Help, hosts Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds tackle two intriguing caller questions, delving into personal relationships complicated by external perceptions and intrusive behaviors. Released on March 31, 2025, this episode blends humor with genuine advice, staying true to the show's ethos of offering the hosts' best attempts to assist listeners in need.

Behind the Scenes: NAT Attack Nickname Debate

Before diving into the main content, Jake and Gareth engage in a light-hearted discussion about their production team's nickname, "NAT Attack." While some team members are enthusiastic about the moniker, others express reservations. Jake humorously navigates the conversation, showcasing the friendly banter that characterizes their long-standing friendship.

Jake Johnson [00:35]: "So, Nat Attack, so. So I don't know. That's kind of interesting."

Discussion on Aaron Rodgers and NFL Dynamics

Transitioning to sports, Jake and Gareth share their thoughts on Aaron Rodgers' recent moves from the Green Bay Packers to the New York Jets. They analyze Rodgers' evolving career, his documentary "Enigma," and the broader implications for athletes navigating public personas.

Jake Johnson [04:11]: "I think our business, a lot of times, I relate it to sports, and this is one of those ones where it's like, you know, he's just not getting the offers that he used to."

The hosts also touch upon the competitive relationship between the Packers and the Bears, highlighting Jake's passionate support for the Packers while acknowledging differing fan perspectives.

Caller 1: Maria’s Gym Conundrum

Caller Details:

• Name: Maria
• Age: 25
• Location: Pennsylvania
• Favorite Movie: Monsters Inc.

Issue: Maria recently moved back to her hometown after a breakup and resumed attending the local gym, coinciding with her father's visits. Her father often strikes up conversations during her workouts, leading a gym acquaintance to mistakenly believe they are dating.

Advice Provided: Jake and Gareth empathize with Maria's predicament, recognizing the delicate balance between respecting her father's intentions and clarifying her single status to others. They brainstorm strategies to mitigate misunderstandings without hurting her father's feelings.

Maria [14:37]: "How do I make sure people at the gym don't think I'm dating my dad?"

Suggested Solutions:

1. Implementing a Virtual Trainer:

   • Jake: Suggests that Maria claims to be following a pre-recorded virtual training program, explaining her inability to engage in conversations during workouts.
   • Gareth [22:46]: "You just tell your dad that you are doing a thing where you're using a virtual trainer who's just in your ear."

2. Scheduling Gym Times Differently:

   • Proposes adjusting workout schedules to minimize overlapping times with her father, though Maria expresses concerns about convenience.

3. Communicating After Workouts:

   • Encourages Maria to arrange post-workout meetups with her father, ensuring quality time without interfering with her gym sessions.

Role-Play Session: Clarifying Boundaries with Her Father

To illustrate the advice, Jake and Gareth engage in a mock conversation between Maria and her father. This role-play demonstrates how Maria can assert her need for focused workout time while maintaining a positive relationship with her father.

Jake as Maria [25:45]: "I'm doing a new program, okay. I have to kind of lock in and pay attention to everything they're saying for the timing of the workout."

Caller 2: Britney’s Martial Arts Dilemma

Caller Details:

• Name: Britney
• Age: 40
• Location: Denver

Issue: Britney's husband, Jay, has become obsessed with martial arts, specifically Jiu Jitsu, to the point of attempting to practice moves on her during their daily interactions. His persistent attempts to spar have left Britney feeling uncomfortable and unsure how to support his hobby without becoming an unwilling participant.

Britney [34:12]: "He is doing Krav Maga. It's Jiu Jitsu. It's starting to grow a ponytail."

Advice Provided: Jake and Gareth acknowledge the challenges Britney faces in balancing her husband's newfound passion with her personal boundaries. They offer practical advice to help Britney navigate this situation respectfully.

Suggested Solutions:

1. Simulating Injury to Discourage Sparring:

   • Jake [37:52]: Recommends Britney attend a few sparring sessions and convincingly pretend to get hurt, making Jay realize the unintended consequences of his actions.

2. Establishing Clear Boundaries:

   • Urges Britney to communicate her discomfort directly, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect in their relationship.

3. Redirecting the Activity:

   • Suggests Britney accompany Jay to his martial arts classes to observe and understand his enthusiasm better, fostering support without direct participation.

Role-Play Session: Confronting Jay’s Enthusiasm

Through a second role-play, Jake and Gareth demonstrate a conversation where Britney asserts her boundaries, using the previously suggested tactics to convey her feelings effectively.

Jake as Britney [43:25]: "I really. I really don't want to do this."

Reflection and Host Insights

Throughout both calls, Jake and Gareth intersperse their own reflections on relationships, personal space, and the complexities of offering advice. Their discussions highlight the importance of empathy, clear communication, and maintaining one's autonomy while supporting loved ones.

Gareth [07:52]: "What people don't see is it's all just a variation of the game."

Conclusion

Episode 158 of We're Here to Help masterfully balances comedic elements with heartfelt advice, addressing real-life dilemmas faced by listeners. Jake and Gareth's interactive approach, combined with their genuine desire to assist, ensures that the episode is both entertaining and insightful for all audiences.

Notable Quotes:

• Jake Johnson [00:35]: "So, Nat Attack, so. So I don't know. That's kind of interesting."
• Maria [14:37]: "How do I make sure people at the gym don't think I'm dating my dad?"
• Britney [34:12]: "He is doing Krav Maga. It's Jiu Jitsu. It's starting to grow a ponytail."
• Jake Johnson [37:52]: "He shows you his move, your neck gets pulled, you're taking Advil for the next two days."

Final Thoughts

For listeners seeking relatable advice delivered with humor and sincerity, Episode 158 of We're Here to Help offers a compelling blend of personal anecdotes and practical solutions. Whether dealing with familial misunderstandings at the gym or navigating the boundaries of a partner's new hobbies, Jake and Gareth provide thoughtful guidance to help listeners overcome their unique challenges.

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

This is a headgum podcast. We are back. Ah, Jake, here we go again. How are you, bud?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've been sick.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you got? Yeah, it sounds like you got a little something. You don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm getting sick all the time these days.

[Jake Johnson]

That's fun. That's fun. That's life as a dad. I. I think we've got a couple things to talk about before we get into another fantastic episode. The first is obviously we're flushing out our new world a little bit with some of our producers. We, you know, Natalie, who works on the show, who's on the show. We've kind of landed on the name NAT Attack. You'll hear the origins of that at some point, but it's. Kate gave it to us. It's kind of rocked. Rocked the behind the scenes of the show a little bit. We've got. We've got our. We've got some people on our team who are pro. The NAT Attack name. We're not going to say who, but there's some people who love it. Everybody. And then there's some people who seem to be a little hesitant about the name. I don't want to say names. Yeah, but Nat Attack, so. So I don't know. That's kind of interesting. I don't know. Natalie, if you want to. NAT Attack. If you want to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good call.

[Jake Johnson]

Garrett, say anything about this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

While we're just kind of getting thinking about the nickname Nat Attack, can I.

[Jake Johnson]

Can I ask if Jesse, what his opinion is on this terrible nickname? I mean, you're sort of my boss, so I guess you're all my boss, so I don't feel like I'm in an impossible situation, but I know that Natalie really doesn't like. But. But Jesse, hold on a second. Jesse, if we can J Dog. And by the way, that's pending. If we can real quick, I can. I can J Dog, as you jdog, as you'd agree, since you have your bosses, and again, Jake and I are not comfortable in that position of authority. Jake has a yard full of gorillas. I use curl cream. But if. If you. Since you can't. You can't really pick side. What is your gut?

[Gareth Reynolds]

How do you feel about J Dog?

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, I think it's. I think it's fun. Great. Thank you, J Dog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thanks, jdog.

[Jake Johnson]

Thanks, Nat Attack. Yeah, there's that Natak side that she's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So was. When you said you had something for an intro, was it to bring up NAT Attack?

[Jake Johnson]

No, it wasn't. I was gonna ask You. If you notice anything different about the old.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I did.

[Jake Johnson]

I did.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In the back. I did.

[Roly]

I wanted to bring it up.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

All right. Just kidding. I. I didn't notice. Well, he also had attack. You're not gonna win with this one. I hate to tell you. J Dog already put a marble on the scales. Else. Here we are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You threw the photo of us behind the. And you threw the. Oh, the old. We got a thing of whiskey that somebody made us with a phone on it. Yeah. I'm happy, Gareth.

[Jake Johnson]

I got that. We're here to help whiskey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I felt, you know, if you look.

[Jake Johnson]

Up, there is also the we're here cutting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree. So I will say I was feeling a little bit sad when Gareth built his new background that there wasn't we're here to help stuff. He said he would remedy the situation. And, Gareth, you did.

[Jake Johnson]

So I want you to know. And. And. And it's not because you said you wanted it. Because I wanted it. It's because it. It deserves it. It's near the bell. We've got the picture of us here, which is from the New York Times. That was drawn.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your background's going great.

[Jake Johnson]

I think we're back. So I think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think really fast. And let's not spend a lot of time on this, because a lot of people don't care about sports. But for those that do, you're a big Green Bay Packer fan.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You used to love Aaron Rodgers.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you think about him to Pittsburgh? What do you think about him in the Jets? What do you think happened to Aaron? What do you think about Aaron and his documentary? Where are we at in the NFL, Garrett?

[Jake Johnson]

Well, I've gone all over the map with Aaron. He's really taken me on quite an adventure. I mean, you know, the reason why I think it's maybe even outside of sports conversation is because he has become one of those guys who's. Who is larger than football. And I do think that, in a way, works against athletes sometimes, and it works for them sometimes. I, as a. As a Packer fan, want nothing but the best for Aaron. He had two tumultuous years with the jets, one of which he missed. And it's weird. It all flips. I think our business, a lot of times, I relate it to sports, and this is one of those ones where it's like, you know, he's just not getting the offers that he used to. The business is kind of changing around him, but there's still opportunities. They're just not the roles he used to go out for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's true.

[Jake Johnson]

I do still think that if you look at his numbers from last year, they're not as bad as people. I agree. I think he's got more in the tank.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He does.

[Jake Johnson]

I think he's got. He's going to a place where you're going to have a lot of moving pieces. But I think if he goes to Pittsburgh, I think he's probably going to do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Didn't they just get DK Metcalf?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, they just got DK Metcalfe. They have a great defense. They have Mike Tomlin, who's a great coach.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Where are you at now that he's left the Packers? And as I've. I commented this on Twitter to someone the other day, the Bears don't really. The Bears. The Chicago team for the NFL is. We just want the packers to lose.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's not true. I think that's just. It isn't.

[Jake Johnson]

It's true. It's true. You guys are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Packers are not the threat.

[Jake Johnson]

I know. That's why it's strange. It's like, get over.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just not the case. It's just for social media.

[Jake Johnson]

No. Okay. Anyway. Where are you at with him?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've always thought he was a little bit goofy.

[Jake Johnson]

And fair. He also won a Super bowl. But go ahead. I'm not. It's not my time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I think his moves post Green Bay have been a little goofy.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I think he's a really fun quarterback to watch and I'd like to see what he does in Pittsburgh. But I think that.

[Jake Johnson]

Did you. Did you watch any of the Netflix thing, Enigma that he did? No, I watched it all. Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I liked it.

[Jake Johnson]

I liked it. I. I do as much again, I. You in this day and age, you have to do a lot of kind of separating things you maybe don't agree with. With, you know, you can't. It's. You can't hate everyone you don't agree with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But we've also all realized now everybody's a full thing and there's going to be areas we're not excited about.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, we just know too much about everybody now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

We know everybody. It's no longer this idea of like, yeah, you've just got a bunch of opinions and you live with one to two people who get sick of them. Now we just kind of purge ourselves online with every thought that pops into our. And you're going to be turning people off. I mean, that happens in. As doing a podcast is different than what you're used to doing, because you really are showing, like, a little bit more of yourself than you normally would. And people do that online for no real reason.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or, you know what I really think it is. And this is what I think you're showing aside, you're choosing to show. So you're showing the podcast side or Aaron showing this. And I think what people believe is the side they're seeing on someone's social. Social media is the whole picture, or one opinion's the whole thing.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And what people don't. What they're not seeing is. Is it's all just a variation of the game. Because if somebody. If one of my, you know, somebody was listening to something, they would go, I don't even recognize that version. And you go, well, that version works for this. That's this tone. But this tone doesn't work over here. And what's hard for an athlete is their main thing is the game as well. Judge them as players, but then their tone of different events. You go, like, who he is on the Pat McAfee show is very different than who he is. If he's taken Ayahuasca.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, you're also getting a level of commentary on what people think about you in a way that is also completely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Distorting. So he hears a lot of that stuff. How does he react to that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, everybody pays attention to it.

[Jake Johnson]

And he pays attention to it. And if you dip in too much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You get in a lot of trouble.

[Jake Johnson]

You get in a lot of trouble, and I think that happened. But I do think if you watch Enigma, there are redeeming qualities as well as things that you're probably not gonna like. But I still root for the guy. And that's a nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a nice 360.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And that's 180 perfectly. Well, we come all the way back to where we started.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, yeah. Okay, good, good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're right, because there was times where you were really against him and you were now agreeing with my teasing of him. But I'm happy to get back to. I love Darren Rogers.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I do love him. But I'm. I'm a little careful because it feels like you're doing one of your things, and I'm. I'm picking up on it, and I don't want to push it because I want to get out of the intro. But you are. There is a little. All right, we put a little mint on the plate there, did we not?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Without further ado, this episode of We're Here to Help is Brought to you by Spot and Tango. Spot and Tango is a personalized dog food subscription that delivers high quality, ready to serve meals, snacks and supplements right to your door. So no more last minute pet store runs. I use Spot and Tango for my two dogs. I got a dog Nora and I got a dog Sunny. And it makes my life a lot easier. And I know that the food is very healthy. There's no artificial stuff, no preservatives. It's got USDA meat, fruits and veggies. It's got their fresh dry process where fresh ingredients are gently cooked and freeze dried to lock in nutrients, creating a shelf stable, nutrient rich meal that's as close to home cooked as it gets without the hassle.

[Jake Johnson]

So I got it from my girlfriend who has two dogs got it for her dogs and she mixed it in with their food and both of the dogs and they had what I consider to be healthy food before Spot and Tango. I'm not kidding. Her dogs were eating the Spot and Tango unkibble and leaving the other stuff. So they were like picking the Spot and Tango. You can't get better than that. They were eating the Spot and Tango first and I wasn't saying like hey, this is a sponsor eat at first. They're dogs, they don't understand that command. Spot and Tango is offering an exclusive deal for our listeners. For a limited time, go to spotandtango.com hereto help and use code here to help to get 50% off your first order. Spot and tango.com hereto help code here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To help this episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by booking.com booking yeah, every time I use booking.com to find a place to stay in the US I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for.

[Jake Johnson]

Listen, I talk about booking.com very regularly. Because I use booking.com very regularly, I always know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. I just went down to Florida for the first time in quite a while. While I was there, decided to get a place right on the water use booking.com was able to just find a lovely place while I had a show down here. Room, kitchen, the whole thing. Sometimes I do it for hotels. This time I did it for a different spot like somewhere like I said, right by the beach. But it is the best so can't recommend using it enough. You really know what you're getting. That's why I use it. A lot of times I use the booking.com Apple are able to see all your options all the filters. You know the deal. Come on, you know the deal. I don't know why I'm angry at you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.combooking. yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Herobred. I am currently on our third 71 and a half of a 72 hour water fast and I'm about to read copy for Herobred, which is my favorite bread. I don't like Hero bread. I love it.

[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Maria]

Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

Hi. Welcome to. We're here to help. Can we get your name, where you're calling from, your approximate age and your favorite movie ever?

[Britney]

Sure.

[Maria]

My name is Maria. I'm 25, I'm in Pennsylvania and my favorite movie is Monsters Inc. Wow, great.

[Jake Johnson]

It's actually, it's a very helpful favorite movie. I appreciate that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I feel the same way.

[Jake Johnson]

I get a. Get a good sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got a sense.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, there's a sense. All right, Maria. Well, let's not belabor this. What is going on?

[Maria]

Okay, so I recently moved back to my hometown after a breakup and I started going to my hometown gym again. My dad goes to the same gym and we're always there around the same time after work because that's what's convenient. When my dad is between workout sets, he likes to come up to Me and, like, chat with me to kill a few seconds of time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And after seeing us interact, it's just such dad behavior. And as a child, as, like, the. The daughter, you're like, dad off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, keep going.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So that's how we're very different guys. I was a hundred percent with the dad, and I'm like, oh, I'm excited to be with her.

[Jake Johnson]

I. I would. Oh, just like, stop, dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Every second I would go.

[Jake Johnson]

Even. Even gym. Budd would go to, like, a gym. Like, the social butterfly was like, dude, all like. You know, like, you'd always have to, like, take the airpod out and be like, huh? And they'd be like, yeah, they got the new weights back there. You do? I like your shoes. You're just like, stop. It's ballies. Leave me alone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, Maria, keep going. We're getting a good setup.

[Britney]

Okay.

[Maria]

So I think that's what it is. He's just excited that I'm there. I'm back home now. One of his gym buddies. After seeing my dad and I interact a few times, this gym guy went up to my. My dad and was like, oh, who is that you're talking to? And he was insinuating that my dad was flirting with me or that we were at the gym, like, together. Obviously, my dad responded and was like, no, no, no, it's not like that. That's my daughter. So the guy totally thought we were dating. Or my dad and I were flirting, like, something completely wrong. And it turned out that this gym guy actually thought I was cute and wanted to talk to me, but was, like, checking with my dad first who I was to him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ew.

[Jake Johnson]

So without getting too gross, your father's blocking a little bit.

[Maria]

I mean, I wasn't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I wouldn't go there, or I'm going there. How old is the guy who's interested?

[Maria]

I wasn't necessarily interested in this specific guy because he was, like, a little older for me. But my issue is that I'm single, and obviously I don't want any guys at the gym thinking I'm dating my dad.

[Jake Johnson]

But do you want. Are you. Your interest? I mean, you want to have people at the gym know you're available.

[Maria]

Right. And if there were to be a guy, potentially not this certain guy, but.

[Jake Johnson]

Right.

[Maria]

People to be looking around thinking I'm dating my dad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I never would have guessed this was the end of this setup.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but see, you're the guy who's going over there for a conversation between sets. You're not seeing it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I'M not seeing it as a person who views the gym as a chance.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, same way. Go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because, I mean, I'm already.

[Jake Johnson]

Maybe he kisses you a little bit. There's going on. Mutual touching.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this is interesting.

[Jake Johnson]

The question, Maria, is basically, without hurting your dad's feelings, how do we get him to stop coming over to talk to you at the gym?

[Maria]

Right. How do I make sure people at the gym don't think I'm dating my dad? And also, if I am interested in talking to a guy at the gym, how do I do that while my dad is there?

[Jake Johnson]

That's tough, too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a tough one.

[Jake Johnson]

When you're going to work out, you guys are in the same area. How big is going to say, how.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Big are your calves? I thought we're going to get into crazy stuff.

[Jake Johnson]

Nope.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How big are your triceps?

[Jake Johnson]

We got a picture of the cabs. Right. How big is the gym? Big gym.

[Britney]

Yeah.

[Maria]

I mean, the gym's pretty big, but it's like my dad will go to fill his water bottle and just be walking by me and come talk to me. He's. It's not like he's, like, awkwardly seeking me out, it's just, you know, when.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Our paths cross, I would do the same thing.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake, my kid is at a gym and I'm there. Not only am I saying hi, but I'm probably giving unsolicited advice.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, that's a nightmare, obviously, but it's actually a good resource, this call. So, Jake, let's say you're you. Let's say you're in this situation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm the dad, you're the kid. Gareth, let's figure this one out. These are natural roles, babe.

[Jake Johnson]

Now, okay? You're the hot girl.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hot girl at the gym.

[Jake Johnson]

It ain't working.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not. I'm being honest.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, if.

[Maria]

If.

[Jake Johnson]

And if. If you were approached with the statement of I don't want to talk at the gym, period, or because there are sometimes guys, I would talk more. Yeah. Would you be hurt?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

And that's your fear, Maria, is that your dad is going to get hurt if you kind of tell him. Right. This news.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Because he would.

[Maria]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then what you're hurting with is even more. You're saying, I don't want to talk to you because I want to talk to other men who I want to replace you with in my life, to be the main male in my life, because you're an old line and you're dying out and I'm looking to Find a strong.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, you're turning it into something crazy, obviously. Real quick. Is it possible for you to go at another time or. The schedule really only permits the immediate after work gym move?

[Maria]

I mean, I could go later. It's just like. It's what's the most convenient.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Maria]

Yeah. I don't want to switch up my.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whole routine, so I've got a pitch to start. I could. I would say that maybe tell your dad you're doing a new workout, and the workout is about no breaks. And so even when you're sitting there in between sets, you're doing a counting exercise so that the. You can talk to him before or after, but in the gym, you are in this whole workout. And part of the workout, if he sees you, he's thinking, she's so focused on this new workout that even though she's sitting there, I don't want to interrupt her thing. Because I'll tell you what dads get really into is when their kids are into a thing. And so the idea of, like, oh, she's real. She's just sitting there. But the problem with that is then if some guy starts talking to you, he might say, leave my daughter alone. She's doing a quiet workout in her head.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, stop talking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Leave her alone, pal. She's doing a quiet workout in there.

[Jake Johnson]

I. I like the zone. I was thinking you could do like, everybody films their workouts at the gym. Now, you could say you're trying to film stuff, and when he comes over, it's, like, affecting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't be the person who films in a gym.

[Jake Johnson]

No, she's lying. She's lying. This is all lies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

This. All my. All my pictures are going to be lies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but we're lying about something like that. Another option would be bring a friend to the gym with you so that you're kind of distracted a little bit by that. My other pitch would be you could say you've hired a virtual trainer and you're going to be talking to the trainer throughout your workout. So you're gonna have your AirPods in. Just set your phone up and be like. So I can't. Like, this guy is charging me by, like, the half hour, so I can't really take breaks to talk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a nearly perfect pitch, and it's connecting with what I was trying to say before, but I didn't have it, and I think Gareth nailed it. You just tell your dad that you are doing. You have a virtual trainer. Here's the problem. Garrett, if he wants to hire the trainer.

[Jake Johnson]

We can figure that out if we like, if we like the bones.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, Maria, what do you think about telling your dad that you're doing a thing where you're using a virtual trainer who's just in your ear. You don't need the screen, but just say like. It's just while I'm working out, dad, I'm. It's on like a pre recorded thing. I have a whole instructions basically, but if you talk to me, I have to pause it. But it's all about like my timing and my heart rate. So if I, if you see me talking to somebody, I have it figured out. But just let me be in my thing while we're here. Let's hang out after or before. But I'm actually on a system.

[Jake Johnson]

I also think that's a good point. I would suggest when you bring this up, but after, let's make sure we get a bite to eat or something like that. You know, make him feel like he still has a gym friend.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you think about that?

[Maria]

Yes, I like that idea. I think I would lean towards like a pre recorded thing I'm listening to or I'm like following a YouTube video or something. So I'm not.

[Jake Johnson]

And I think needing to be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, here's how you fake that. You just go to some workout person on YouTube and so when he comes in you just do the deep sigh and the pause and go like what? And then go, dad, I'm sorry, I'm in a thing. I go, let's talk after. But I'm trying to follow this workout. And they even have my breaks timed in.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, I think that's the whole thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Jake Johnson]

It's going to sound to him like it's something he doesn't understand. Tech wise. I think that's right. I think if you tell him, look, it's basically a program where I have someone instructing me what to do every 30 seconds to every two minutes, whatever. I can't fuck with the timing with what I'm trying to do, heart rate wise. So I can't really engage in conversation now. Now if someone at the gym comes up and talks to you and you want to talk to him, feel free to agree and you just tell your dad. Well, I don't know that person, so I didn't want to be rude. I'm just telling you, Maria, here's what.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'Re going to do really fast. Gareth, you're Maria, I'm the dad. Okay, let's just see what happens and.

[Jake Johnson]

Then do we want to do this at the gym or before the gym?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Beforehand.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, I agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this is Maria.

[Jake Johnson]

Do you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You don't travel there with your dad. So when you first see your dad at the gym, is it before? After? How does it go?

[Maria]

I usually, like, spot him when I first walk into the gym so I could have a conversation with him as.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Soon as I get there.

[Jake Johnson]

I think we do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. So you walk over and then start it off.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. So here's how it would go. Hey, what are you. What are you working on?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey. How are you, honey?

[Jake Johnson]

I'm good. How are you? How was work?

[Gareth Reynolds]

How you doing? I don't even worry about my stuff. What are you working on today? Legs.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, I'm actually. I'm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huge calves, kiddo.

[Jake Johnson]

Thanks, Dad. I mean, maybe I don't want to hear that in that way. It's not like we're in the men's locker room together, but. Okay, I. This is what I was gonna say.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's up, doll face?

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so I love you. I'm doing a new. Hold on, dad. I'm doing a new program, okay. Where basically I have, like, this virtual training program that I'm paying for. Yeah. And so basically what he's gonna do is, like, it's just the V, this trainer, and they're going to walk me through every moment of my workout. So I apologize in advance if, like, you're trying to talk to me and I ignore you or something like that. Like, I just have to kind of lock in and pay attention to everything they're saying for the timing of the workout.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How long's the workout?

[Jake Johnson]

The. They range from 30 minutes to, like, an hour and 10 minutes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So once you start, you're in it.

[Jake Johnson]

Once I start, I can't stop because the whole thing is they try to do it in real time to make it seem like you have an actual trainer. So I just stop and go back like, well, no, no, you shouldn't do it with me. It's. It's diff. It's. You're not going to want to go for the same body type and stuff like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're right. Hey, how about this, honey? Let's. Let's meet up after.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, and that's what I was going to say. Maybe after we get a bite to eat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I love it.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, great. Love you, Dad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love you. You're my whole world.

[Jake Johnson]

All right. That's kind of a crazy thing to say across the gym.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maria, what'd you think of something like that?

[Maria]

It was Good. I liked it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now let's try this.

[Maria]

No one else is listening at the gym.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now let's try this.

[Jake Johnson]

Maria, demure it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're you. I'm your dad. Give me quick notes on the dad. How do I make it more real? Like your dad.

[Maria]

Lose a little accent.

[Jake Johnson]

No fair and no big.

[Maria]

Gym guy, very bubbly, social, wants to talk to everybody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gareth, I think you just booked it.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, hello, Maria. Welcome to daddy's dojo. All right, here we go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think I unfortunately just got recast.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, you were. And there was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I had a different read and they just decided to go with another version.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, let's see how it goes.

[Jake Johnson]

This is way more Robert than Barbara. You're exactly agreed. Okay. All right. Okay, Maria, approach me. Oh, that's good. Oh, good burn. Hi. Hey, babe.

[Britney]

Hey, dad.

[Maria]

How's your day?

[Jake Johnson]

Good. I'm probably gonna need another towel. Look at me, I'm over here. I'm just dripping. How was your day, babe?

[Britney]

Good.

[Maria]

Yeah. I just wanted to say hi. I'm gonna go run and start my workout.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, good. Yeah, dude, don't forget to stretch. I'll tell you, that's the one thing they. They don't tell you. When you hit 35, you gotta stretch. That's the one thing they don't tell you.

[Maria]

Yeah, for sure.

[Jake Johnson]

Always.

[Maria]

So I just wanted to tell you, today I'm starting this new workout program.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, great.

[Maria]

I'm gonna be listening. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm gonna be listening to this trainer in my AirPods that kind of tells me everything to be doing.

[Jake Johnson]

Or is this some kind of AI stuff that I don't know about?

[Maria]

No, it's real. It's like pre recorded, but I can just listen to it while I'm working out so it can kind of guide me through my workout, you know, keep me focused and motivated.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so what do you. Okay, that's great.

[Maria]

Yeah, so I just wanted to. I just want to stay focused. I think maybe we can just chat after the gym.

[Jake Johnson]

Are you trying to tell your old man. Hold on, babe. Are you trying to tell your old man? Don't come over and bust up my workout with your little quips and stories while you get water.

[Maria]

You know, I just really like to stick to this program, see if it works for me. I'm trying, you know. Hey, stay focused.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, hey. You're not even gonna know I'm here, and I would love to get a bite. All right. All right, let's hang out after. Here we go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, Maria, by the way, that's gonna work. Let's do one really fast. I'm gonna go back to my original job as dad. Let's see how it plays with a different version of you.

[Jake Johnson]

Just in case we do good dad, bad dad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, that version worked great. Let's just see what happens. Happens.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay?

[Maria]

Okay. Hey, dad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, how you doing?

[Maria]

Good. How was your day?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, up and down, up and down, how it goes. Your mother's been driving me up all wall. She's a record.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, excuse me, sir. I work at the gym and there is a language code that we need you to hear.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shove it up your ass.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, my God, you bum.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's going on?

[Maria]

All right, well, I'm gonna go start my workout, but I just wanted to let you know I'm gonna start this new program today that I'm really excited about.

[Jake Johnson]

I heard about it online.

[Maria]

The trainer is gonna be on a pre recorded video when I'm gonna be listening.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whoa, you got a robot training you?

[Maria]

No, no, no. It's a real certified trainer. They've just pre recorded these workouts that I can listen to so that, you know, I make sure I'm doing all that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're trying to get rid of me.

[Maria]

You came from my boss, my trainer. Dad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, sir, it's me again.

[Jake Johnson]

Sir. Sir, I work at the gym. You could say the F word, but this is disgusting. I mean, what's going on? People are just trying to work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You listen to me, Rodney. Yeah, we gotta get off this call.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Honestly, sir, this is unbelievable. How do you feel about that, Maria? Aside from the last part where Jake. Jake made Joe Pesci your dad?

[Maria]

Yeah, I mean, the came from my balls comment was really out of left field.

[Jake Johnson]

But what matters?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a matter. It's a father and child realization.

[Jake Johnson]

It is biology.

[Gareth Reynolds]

From his dad's testicles.

[Jake Johnson]

We want to prepare you those testicles. Oh, God, I feel sick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Came from balls.

[Jake Johnson]

What's happening over there? Is there a beer open? What are you doing? How do you feel about that, Maria? I feel like that's going to work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

From balls.

[Jake Johnson]

And that is Tom, the title.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The one you did with Gareth Inc. Will actually really work. Do you agree?

[Maria]

Okay. Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you gonna. Are you gonna really do it?

[Jake Johnson]

I am.

[Maria]

I'm going to the gym after work today, so can you do us a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Big favor and can you record it on your phone? Because you can just do a voice note.

[Jake Johnson]

You'll be kind of gesturing to your phone anyway so you can kind of have it out A little bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But can we try to get voice note so we hear what you say and we hear what he says?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. We want to hear a dad's heartbreak in real time or.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I actually think it's going to be more like yours. I don't think he's going to be heartbroken.

[Jake Johnson]

I really do too. I think he's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's hang out after.

[Jake Johnson]

I agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you could send that voice note, that would be a really nice ending for us.

[Maria]

Yeah, for sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're the best. Thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you. All right.

[Maria]

Thanks, guys.

[Jake Johnson]

Thanks, Maria.

[Maria]

All right, bye.

[Jake Johnson]

Bye. I know. And you're 41.

[Britney]

Hello.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Five years younger than us. Can we get your. Can we get your name, please? Gareth is 45.

[Jake Johnson]

Not at all.

[Britney]

My name is going to be Britney.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Hi, Brittany.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And are you older or younger than Gareth? He's 45.

[Jake Johnson]

No, I'm not.

[Britney]

I'm 40.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're 40, so you're way a little.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, you're older than me. All right, so what's going on, Brittany? Where are you coming from? Jake. Hold on. Jake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's being crazy.

[Jake Johnson]

You're being belligerent.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know you're tired.

[Jake Johnson]

Get off your lawn. Stop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, Brittany.

[Jake Johnson]

Brittany. 40, fine age.

[Britney]

I'm calling from Denver.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, Great city, Denver. A young lady To Gareth and I. From Denver.

[Jake Johnson]

To me, the same age, a little younger. Go ahead, Brittany, what is your favorite.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thing to do in Denver on a Friday night at 8pm if you're going out. And guess what, you have no responsibilities. You're in a fictional world.

[Jake Johnson]

That.

[Britney]

That means I have to go out.

[Jake Johnson]

Great answer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can do whatever you want, but there's no stakes. It's like the movie Memento. In the morning, you forget everything. It all starts over.

[Britney]

Okay, then. I am going dancing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What kind of dancing? What kind of music?

[Britney]

I am going to. It's. It's going to be hip hop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You going along? You go with friends. And what are you dressing like? You looking like the Australian break dancer Ray Gun.

[Britney]

Oh, my God, that would. That would be amazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's your style? You going 90s? I'm going.

[Britney]

I'm going. I'm going with my. My sister and my cousin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That sounds like a lot of fun.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So. And then what are you guys eating that night?

[Britney]

Oh, we're going for sushi.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sushi and hip hop dancing with sister and cousin. Sounds like a pretty great fictional night. Brittany, what do we got?

[Britney]

All right, so my husband, who is in his 40s.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Quick pause. Wasn't invited on the fictional night.

[Britney]

No, totally not invited.

[Jake Johnson]

Interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep going.

[Jake Johnson]

Interesting.

[Britney]

He is in his 40s.

[Jake Johnson]

And how old is he in his 40s?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Older or younger than Garth at 45?

[Jake Johnson]

Well, I'm a 39. He's 40.

[Gareth Reynolds]

40. Oh, so he's five years younger than you.

[Jake Johnson]

She's a kid. He's a kid. He's a little younger than Jake. That's awesome. Yeah, he is. He's a kid. Go ahead. Jesus Christ, Jake, stop. Brittany, go ahead.

[Britney]

He has become obsessed with martial arts.

[Jake Johnson]

What a sad old man. I know that. Hey, does he have. Does he have a fake locker room with a bunch of little dumb as he kisses? All right, Britney, go ahead. So he's obsessed with martial arts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is. This sucks. And I was so mean too.

[Jake Johnson]

You were? Really? You were in the driver's seat of this. All right, anyway, so he's delusional. He's got. Anyway. What? What's going on? He's a big loser. A big loser. But he thinks putting out a little outfit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

El, if you tell me he's got sculptures his backyard, I'm hanging up. I've been set up.

[Britney]

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. That.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, keep going.

[Britney]

That's what my. That's what my sister told me to do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's a big dork. He's into martial arts and he's terr at it.

[Jake Johnson]

Keep going. He hurt his knee looking at his watching above the law.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's balding by the second, but he's.

[Jake Johnson]

He's starting to grow a ponytail.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He doesn't get invited to his wife's big little night. Cuz, guess what? There's no way I'm invited to my wife's fiction.

[Jake Johnson]

He's going to ruin it by talking about different moves he can't do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, so back to you and this incredible guy.

[Jake Johnson]

What a winner you got sad man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, so what's going on? So he's in his 40s, he got into martial art. And I hate to say it like this, but we all know I'm gonna. What type of martial art?

[Britney]

Yeah. So it started off as just a waste of get exercise and blood steam.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, of course. Kicking a punching. Is he doing cut up?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is it karate? Is it kung fu? Is it Jiu jitsu?

[Britney]

It is. It's Jiu Jitsu. It's Krav maga.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's doing Krav Maga.

[Jake Johnson]

Christ, Jake, stop. Okay, so he's. He's into martial arts. He's doing Jiu Jitsu. What's going. What's the problem? But you know, if you want to give us a little more lead up. Get in there. No, no, no. Like, we know what the problem is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Britney]

Okay. So the moment he gets home from class, he wants to test out his moves on me and, like, tries to get me in headlo. And it's become now a daily. A daily thing. And I keep saying no because I have zero interest.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, of course.

[Britney]

But when I refuse, he gets upset.

[Jake Johnson]

Like, how do I. How upset is he getting?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Annoyed?

[Britney]

Like he's throwing little tantrums. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

See, these. These guys who get into this stuff so late, they just. They're trying to fill a hole that can't be filled. Okay, that's just the elephant in the room. I mean. That's right. That's just the elephant in the yard. Okay, so your question is how do we kind of confront this? Or how do I. Yeah.

[Britney]

How do I support his hobby without becoming his sparring partner?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a really interesting question.

[Jake Johnson]

This really is. I got a pitch right off the bat. I don't know if you want to get a little more information, Jake, I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Would like to hear the pitch.

[Jake Johnson]

Um, my pitch would be change your attitude for two or three of these sessions and placate him and let him do it. And then fake get hurt on one of them. And that place the death nail in the coffin of these. He shows you his move.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's real truth to that.

[Jake Johnson]

He shows you his move, your neck gets pulled, you're taking Advil for the next two days, and icing it, he's going to leave you the fuck alone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, Brittany, Gareth is kind of dead, right? If you pretend he's a lethal weapon and he has to be careful with his body because this is. He is now. But Jake, he's dangerous.

[Jake Johnson]

Jake. Jake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But he doesn't understand his own strength. But Jake.

[Jake Johnson]

Jake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jiu Jitsu Jake. And I believe you said Jake Johnson. Jake.

[Jake Johnson]

Just careful with how you say it. It's bad. When you say it. It gets. It's bad. My pitch is not that we inflate. Just to be clear, I'm. I think you're on the husband's side in some weird, contorted way. I'm talking about. I knew he would be for. Of course it's sad, it's crazy, but we're going to work with it. What I'm saying is not let's make him feel so good that he leaves her alone. I'm saying this sad guy has come home and he's hurt his poor wife with his, like, little fantasy camp that he's going to two or three times. Jake, I'm talking, so just listen, because it's really hard right now, and I need to kind of machete through the jungle of delusion.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me cook, little boy.

[Jake Johnson]

Don't. Not. First of all, title. And second of all, do not talk to me like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Zip it, little boy. B. Let me cook.

[Jake Johnson]

Brittany, if you need to get a bucket to be sick, and I'll try to do the same, I'll put a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bucket over your head when I do my karate chop. Here's what I really think.

[Jake Johnson]

Think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you're. I get it. He's working on new stuff. He's excited. Can we ask one question? What is his name? What are we calling him?

[Britney]

We're calling him Jay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jay. Too close to mine. That was me.

[Jake Johnson]

Are you making. Is this Aaron?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, Aaron, I've asked you a million times, don't call into the podcast.

[Jake Johnson]

Come on now. Yeah, Aaron, come on now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've got another car. How do I get my husband to stop doing weird stuff? And he's ruining the vibe. Aaron, get out of here.

[Jake Johnson]

Where can I hide all the snacks that are for my kids so my husband doesn't start eating 10 calorie snack packs?

[Gareth Reynolds]

So. So Jay's thing is, he's getting into martial arts, and what got him into.

[Britney]

Was really just to, like, take his aggression out on something interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So he just started. And what is he doing? Because, look, I got to tell you, as a man who did martial arts for a little bit until my knee got hurt. Art, there's a big difference between Krav Maga, Israeli street fighting, and Jiu Jitsu, a Brazilian art form that is way more about submissions. I'm speaking a language. Gareth is so confused right outside Laris. If you saw his face, you'd be dying. Left.

[Jake Johnson]

No, no. If you saw Jake. If you saw Jake right now, you just give him 10. I mean, if you feel bad for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Him because he sees me as a lethal weapon, he's afraid. He thinks I'm robbing him. But really, I'm here to save him.

[Jake Johnson]

Sad. You have fake gorillas in your yard. You're not. Okay, I have a real question. I have a real question for you. You are done with Jiu Jitsu. You're. You're off now because of your knee.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So what happened to your little. Your little garage friend who you were rolling around?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Remember, the only fans call that the woman did where she used to dress it up.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Oh, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got an only fans.

[Jake Johnson]

Jake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Back to You, Brittany. So we've gotten off track here, and it's not your fault. This is a good call. All. It's just. I was getting too mean to Gareth about age, and then he just got a real wheelhouse, and I put you in a headlock. I had to tap my beatings. I'm tapping out. So now back to you. Your husband is doing too much martial arts, and he wants you. He wants to do it on you, and you got to figure out how to get him to stop. I think the fake hurt is a very good pitch.

[Britney]

Okay?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because what you don't want to do is make it more serious than it's not. So have like a. I don't want to do this hobby with where he's like, just chill out. Then when you say, like, a demo, what kind of stuff is he demoing?

[Britney]

I mean, like, he tries to come at me from behind. Like, he's. He's. I don't. I don't know, because I don't understand it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Walk us through what happens. Will you just paint the picture of the one time when he's come at you from behind and walk us through the situation.

[Britney]

I. I will be in my bathroom, and he'll come up from behind, and he's just like, let me practice. Let me practice.

[Jake Johnson]

And.

[Britney]

And. And I just am like, no, I don't want to do this. And then he'll come up from behind, and I just, like, whack him with my arm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then what happens? Oh, he quits because his name.

[Britney]

And then he keeps trying, and then I just. And then I walk away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. He doesn't really cry, does he?

[Britney]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, but you'll give him a whack, and he'll get his feelings hurt, and then it'll end.

[Britney]

And then he. He. About an hour later, he'll try again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, so, Britney, I think Gareth is dead, right? I think what you have to do is let him do it. And then you need to act your ass off and be like, ow. What the.

[Jake Johnson]

Ow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And he goes, what? You go like, my neck. You tweaked something in my neck, man. And he'll go like, what? And go like, that re. Genuinely hurts. And then you're laying down with an ice pack and you go like, hey, I. I'm not the one to practice on. You don't know what you're doing. But these are real moves. Like, this isn't a game if you're talking about real martial arts. You're learning. You're learning how to kill people. I don't want you practicing on me.

[Jake Johnson]

And I think there's a part of him that might even be like. Like wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I want him at that later tonight to look at his hands.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I gotta be careful. These hands, these are lethal weapons.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have to learn restraints. I can kill the woman.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's where I think we're getting to that. He has to see you and go. I would love to put her in a full nelson and practice this move, but I love the woman. Well, imagine hurting the woman.

[Jake Johnson]

Jake, there is a world where we do this and Britney is prepped with maybe not your 150 pound weird thing that looks like leather face that you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep in your fake Gareth is around 150.

[Jake Johnson]

So. So Brittany, we get you. We get you like a, a little like fake dummy or something like that that you can, he can kind of demonstrate on when he comes back because he's a little. Jake, Jake. Are we, are we, are we attacking each other? Are we moving to Britney? Moving on because again we're talking about a guy who was playing around with a doll in his yard. Teenagers playing with a doll in his little fake locker room set where it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Looks like they shoot between two, right?

[Jake Johnson]

And he blows his knee out so bad that he can't go to class anymore. This is two weeks after he locked his keys in his car and had to walk home with a shirt on his head and drink from a hose.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, that was the ayahuasca.

[Jake Johnson]

Unbelievable.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you dump in your pants?

[Jake Johnson]

No, right after.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's horrible.

[Jake Johnson]

You Britney? Yeah, so. But I think there's a world where if she gets a little thing to demonstrate on, maybe that's a nice follow up when we get anywhere.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's a sweet ending to give him something that is a gift. But I really think Britney, you win here if the next time he does it it like. Can we do something for a second? Britney, pretend I'm Jay. I'm going to put you in a move and then I want you to act as if it's really hurt but don't do it comedically. See if you can make me believe.

[Britney]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. So you're in the bathroom. I sneak up behind you. Hey, can I try this on you? My hand is. I'm doing a rear naked choke. So just tap my arm when you're ready to tap out. Okay, Just tap my arm if it's hurting too much, I'm going to apply a little pressure. Okay Britney, tap out if you need to. Oh you tapping.

[Jake Johnson]

You.

[Britney]

This is help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, wait Wait, what's going on?

[Jake Johnson]

What.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? What happened? What happened? What happened?

[Britney]

You really hurt my neck.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I did?

[Britney]

Oh, my God. I. I think I need to go to the urgent care.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm. Let me tell you real quick, Britney, I'm going to be you and we'll keep Jay A. Jake is j. I'm gonna. I think I love that you're committing. I'm gonna give you. I'm gonna give you another direction so it doesn't. And here's what I'd say too. Let's do one where you allow them to do it and it's fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And then this is the second one after that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. So the first one is you allow me to do it. It's fine.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. This is a week later, you've come back from your SAD class and you want to do it again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Brittany, you got so much older.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, literally, like, our marriage is hanging on by a thread. And you're gonna pull this right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm behind you. I'm behind you. Hey, Brittany. Brittany, tap out if you need to. Tap if you need to.

[Jake Johnson]

I really don't like when you do this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, then just tap. Like. I just want to practice.

[Jake Johnson]

Ow. Ow. Oh, God. Jesus.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Jake Johnson]

Stop. Stop. Jay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Really?

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, something happened. Oh, right in my neck. I just like, shot down to my shoulder. Hold on. Give me a minute. Oh, God. Okay, I'm. I don't know. Just give me a minute.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm so sorry.

[Jake Johnson]

It's okay. But I. That's why I said to you. I don't want to do this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right? I'm never. I'm so. Lay down. Let me get you here.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll never ice or something. Are you.

[Jake Johnson]

Are you get a couple Advil too? I'm okay. I just like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, God, my shoulder just feels bad. It's okay. It's okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

These arms.

[Jake Johnson]

No, no, no, Jay. Jay. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Britney. I gotta say, I think that was right. I don't want urgent care. I really liked how Gareth just did. It was like, let's try again. I'm behind you.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, honey, I just worked on this new move at Jiu Jitsu. It's a rear naked check. Can do my. Can I just try this? Just tap my arm if you want to go. I'm going to apply very light pressure. Okay. Just tap if you need to.

[Britney]

I really. I really don't want to do this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me do it for a second. I just got to make sure this works. But this could literally take your oxygen away, so Let me just put. So the pressure goes right on the side of the neck. Just like that. Okay. I'm applying pressure right now.

[Britney]

Something. Something's not feeling right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, then just.

[Britney]

Can you stop? Stop, stop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, stop, stop, stop. Ow. Ow.

[Britney]

Some. Something doesn't feel right in my neck.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you mean?

[Britney]

I think I. I think something. I think something is creaking in my neck.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you serious?

[Britney]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What does it feel like?

[Britney]

I think I. I think. I think you hit a nerve.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Do you need any. Well, because I'm so. Okay, what can I get. Do you need a heating pad or something?

[Britney]

Yeah, that or an ice pack. Something, please.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Why don't you go lay down? I'll go take it. I'm really sorry. Okay. So can you lay down? Do you want me to walk you to the bed? Are you okay?

[Britney]

Yeah, I'll. I'll go lay down. Just please get me an ice pack.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. I. I'm now walking to the kitchen by myself. These are, by the way, Britney. That's great.

[Jake Johnson]

I think it's pretty good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's pretty good.

[Jake Johnson]

I think it's pretty good. And I think just play it up for another day or two where you can't put your one arm above your head yet. And then it starts to come back to you, and you are. I. There's no way he's going to do it again. Get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So one more. Gareth. Will you be Jay. Britney. Will you be Britney? And be a little bit. A little bit more sharp when the pain happens? It's not a slow thing. It's a shooting pain.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. All right. And it. That shooting pain doesn't go away until he leaves the room.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Hey, babe. Just got back from the class with the other guys who were having midlife crises and we. We hung out. A lot of them are like 10 years younger than me, but they placate me. So they let me get into my little wardrobe and I go out there and I play around with them. I'm about two weeks away from having to retire because of what it. It does to my body. I'm not physically there anymore. I'm so deteriorated at this point. I'm sorry. Hey, babe. All right, so let me. Let me show you what. What I learned in there today. I don't have any friends who do this with me, so I'm going to try it on my wife. Life. Pathetic. Maybe to some, but not to me. All right, so I'm gonna put my arm behind you here, and then give me your forearm and I'm Gonna kind of arm bar you and hold you back here. And then you sort of twist it like this, right? And that's that. What? Ow. Are you fake. What?

[Britney]

Ow.

[Jake Johnson]

What? Sorry. Are you really hurt?

[Britney]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, seriously?

[Britney]

My neck. My neck. Ow.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, here. Go lay down. I'm sorry. I just. I wasn't even doing it that hard.

[Britney]

Oh. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, sorry. Let me get you. I'll get you something to massage it out. I'm gonna go to the kitchen. All right. I'm on my way to the kitchen. What am I trying to fill inside of myself that I'll never be able to?

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, Brittany, I think we've got a winner here.

[Jake Johnson]

I do, too. That was much better. That was great. Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And the thing that I'm trying to fill is. Pam, hold on. I'm just reading my notes. That doesn't say that. It says fake hurt. I'm sorry. I read that wrong. I saw fake hurt. I thought it said Phil. Pam. No, that's fake hurt. My bad. So, Britney, are you going to try. Are you going to try this?

[Jake Johnson]

The worst thing I say. That's the worst thing you've said on this show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Will you please follow up? And Brittany, if you can get a voice. Voice note of this, like, if he goes. Okay, yeah, here's how you could possibly do it. If he goes, hey, can I try something? Pretend you're texting. Go. Give me a second. I just need to finish this text and then hit voice note record and go, like. All right, just do it, I guess.

[Britney]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because you can be holding your phone in his hand while he's doing it, but if we could hear the back and forth, forth, just put it on the counter, even.

[Jake Johnson]

It'll pick it up, it would be spectacular. I agree. Okay. I have documentation this moment. And he doesn't listen to the show or anything. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'll be fine.

[Britney]

No, he doesn't.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's a cool guy. He's not listening to this dork stuff.

[Jake Johnson]

Take. Listen to what you, Brittany.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Appreciate you.

[Jake Johnson]

Who are you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Gareth Reynolds podcast Nerdfest.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you, Brittany. Keep us posted.

[Britney]

I will.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, thank you.

[Roly]

Bye.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Today's episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Alma.

[Jake Johnson]

Look, we here at the show, we love. We support Alma because we recognize that your mental health, your mental health care, however you want to phrase it, is very, very important. You know, when you're going through something, it can feel lonely, it can feel difficult, it can feel insurmountable. But that's what Alma does so well. Alma helps you find a therapist that is the right match for you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've been using Alma since they started sponsoring us and I found it a very easy way to find a therapist that works for me. I am currently seeing somebody now who has been very helpful. We are trying emdr, which I find a very interesting way and I highly recommend if that is a move you're looking to try.

[Jake Johnson]

Takes a real person to understand your experience. What's going on with you, you're tapped out on online advice or social media is just compounding the issues. Alma is a great place to go search find someone who's the right match. Better with people, better with Alma. Visit hello Alma.com here to help to get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello a l m a.com heretohel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile. I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless carriers also seem to like keeping my money too. After years of overpaying for wireless, I finally got fed up from crazy high wireless bills, bogus fees, and quote unquote free perks that actually cost more in the long run. And I switched to mine. Mint Mobile.

[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by booking.com booking yeah, whenever I'm looking to travel, I do use booking.com to find my hotel. I find it to be very easy and very helpful. I went to New York, I went to San Francisco Most recently, I went to Portland, And I used booking.com to make that trip easy. Or I should say to make those trips.

[Jake Johnson]

I go to booking.com. i go through the search engine. I find exactly what I want. I'm using the booking.comapp.app. i'm all over the place, baby. I don't know why I said, baby. There are many search engines, ways to figure out if you're looking for a hotel or a vacation rental. They're throwing options your way. That's why we say booking that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

With such vigor, because we believe in it. I right now am in a van in Oklahoma City, and I'm not kidding. And you're like, garrett, that sounds pathetic. Well, it does, because I went out of my way to use booking.com and I'm so excited at the place I'm going to after the show because it's got a kitchen, it's got two bedrooms for me and the people that I'm traveling with. It. It truly just makes it easy, you know what you're getting. I can't tell you how many times. If a club books my place, I'm like, what. What is happening here? What year is this hotel from? There's one elevator that's out of order. One's not. You know what I mean? It's just. It's tough. But that's not gonna happen when you use booking.com. so I'm telling you, you could find exactly what you're booking for on booking dot com. Booking. Yeah. App.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello.

[Roly]

Hi, there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How are you?

[Roly]

I'm good, thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I recognize this voice.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Roly]

Okay. Should I say who I am?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, from my childhood. International school.

[Jake Johnson]

No, wrong. Yeah, we. You're a followup.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you go to McKenzie?

[Jake Johnson]

Stop. You did. Jake, where's McKenzie located?

[Gareth Reynolds]

South London.

[Jake Johnson]

What? What? What? Like, what area?

[Gareth Reynolds]

4Th and Cathedral.

[Jake Johnson]

4Th Cathedral. What's your name? And can you tell us your first call, please?

[Roly]

Sure. My name's Roly in London.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And the woman who. The woman on the corner.

[Jake Johnson]

Filthy woman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yes.

[Roly]

Yep. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Roli, walk us through. Obviously, anybody. They'll be the thing. You could listen to the original episode, but walk us through what happened, Rolly, and what we pitched and what you did.

[Roly]

Sure. So I. Yeah. In the morning, I go for a walk, and this lady, she finds me, and she says some really disturbingly gross things to me. So you guys suggested lots of great suggestions, but the two ones we went with were firstly to film her to see if it made herself conscious, and if that didn't work to, like, Put a flyer together to see if there are any more sort of victims of these crimes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna say in listening, I hope the first one worked.

[Jake Johnson]

So do I. I'm very excited for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The resulting and creating a community on this one.

[Jake Johnson]

I am very excited for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God.

[Jake Johnson]

What's your.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's your guess? Hold on. Before you get into it, Gareth, what's your guess?

[Jake Johnson]

You know, my heart wants to say that the filming stopped it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

But my gut makes me feel like she finds a way around that. And maybe we go with the flyers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Really? What happened?

[Roly]

I'm so it. The filming was brilliant. It worked so well. I was surprised at how well it worked. I didn't even really have to film. I just got my phone out and, like, aimed in her direction with the camera on. And she was just very confused by it. And instead of saying all her usual stuff, she was just like. She pretty much just got befuddled by it and was just sort of waffling about why I'd be filming. And it was working like an absolute dream, honestly. So much better than I thought. But unfortunately, just a few days ago, like, the beginning of this week, I saw her coming. And so I popped my phone out and got the camera on, like usual thing. And a couple of ladies whose kids, like, play in the park came over to me and very nicely asked why I was always filming around the park. And it instantly occurred. Yeah, it really. I don't know how it hasn't occurred to me, me, but it wasn't a great thing to do. They were super nice about it, and I didn't want to subject them to, you know, what I've told you guys.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, that would sound like the pedophiles excuse, of course, Like a maniac's excuse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this is the beginning of a romantic comedy.

[Roly]

Well, I did have a judgment, but I did. I got very lucky that during, like, at the moment, basically, there's a big national campaign to take pictures and film all the birds around where you live so they can count. What lives where.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Amazing.

[Roly]

So I totally lied and said I was doing that, and it worked like a dream.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Walk us through what happened. Will you be the ladies and will you be you so we can get a sense of that interaction?

[Roly]

Yeah, sure. So I was just walking, like, alongside the park. Not in it, but playgrounds all over it. And then. And so I saw the lady sort of not too far away, but coming down a path. So I got my phone out and just put the camera on so it's clear that you can See that? My phone's like, it looks like it's recording, but I just put the camera on and then these two ladies sort of came beside me and said, excuse me. And they really were polite. They were like, oh, we don't need to be accusatory, I think they said, or something like that. But we were wondering why you always seem to be filming in the park. And like, yeah, I was. I was like, instantly started sweating and felt awful, like some sort of creepy guy. But luckily they were like, oh, we've been meaning to take pictures of the birds around where we live too. And they were super chill about it. But it does mean that now I'm not taking my phone out of my pocket when I'm in the park. I don't want to be fan and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just point it at the birds. Go. Birds, birds, birds. Vulgar old lady. Birds, Birds, birds.

[Jake Johnson]

Yep.

[Roly]

I mean, to be honest, it's just pigeons in there, so I think we've counted those guys.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Do you. Has she. Does she even approach you? Is there any look like she's looking at you or have you kind of set the precedent where she's not even bothering to go in your direction now?

[Roly]

So she was still coming over regularly, but like, she sort of got. It was like really dulled down a lot. It was like she pretty much just mumbled something or like, get up semi close to me. But now that my phone's gone, she's like really come back with both barrels. Like, it's like, like, like I don't know or something. Like she's been saying some really crazy stuff recently.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, is this again, I. I gotta ask because we're starting to enter a world where it's almost feeling too heightened. Is this too.

[Roly]

Yeah, it. It is.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Roly]

Along the same lines of the stuff that I said she was saying last time, so. Well, first she said, oh, you put your phone away or something like that. And then. Yeah, it's been a few days. It's only been a few days, but it's been. She's really been making up for lost time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, what do you think?

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, I got two.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

This is what I would do. One of two things. Okay, go ahead.

[Roly]

I was just gonna ask if you wanted to because you guys suggested the flyer.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Roly]

And I said at the end of the call, would you guys, like help me write? It was really what I was wondering.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, I still, like the flyer. Flyer. Still plays, I think. But I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The only worry is scary, man.

[Jake Johnson]

The only worry is now that you've sort of said to these other people, what you're doing, it kind of. It Murkies. What you're doing a little bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This would be my weird guy, man.

[Jake Johnson]

You're. You're playing a few plot lines, which maybe isn't great for a guy who said he was just filming birds. Here's what I would do. You can buy a tiny little like. Like you could. You could buy. For 50 bucks, you could buy a pair of glasses that will film.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't be that guy. Near a park when you lie and say you film birds.

[Jake Johnson]

No. Yeah.

[Roly]

I already feel really bad about the birds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You could very easily know that those are spy.

[Jake Johnson]

Let me. Let me just throw a little pepper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In the stew, okay?

[Jake Johnson]

Put. You wear these glasses or whatever, you get a little camera that isn't your phone camera is basically what I'm suggesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

The woman will approach you. She'll say something filthy. Filthy. Then you have footage of it. I would put that on your phone and have that as a video on your phone. The next time you walk and the woman starts to approach you, even if she says something or not, take out your phone, show her the footage of her saying something filthy, and say, I have evidence of you being vulgar to me in this park. Don't do it again.

[Roly]

I like it. Yeah, I think that's. I like it. Except for the glasses, probably. That feels a bit.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But did you ever film her before? Did you ever catch her?

[Roly]

No, I felt quite bad about that, like. So I just. I honestly, I just had my phone camera on.

[Jake Johnson]

You were using as a private. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So here's what we need to do. Here's what we need to do. And you're on very thin ice, young man.

[Roly]

I know. I'm, like, almost feeling like I want to just not go on walks anymore.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, God damn it, don't. You're staying in that park.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My first pitch would be, it's. It's time to stop these walks, because I'll tell you. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Or maybe just move on from the park.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I'll tell you why, guy. If I'm at that park and I'm seeing a weird guy filming the kids, and then I'm like, I don't know about this guy. And then one of the moms goes, we asked him, he said he's filming birds. And I go, well, there's only pigeons here. I'm getting really close to a weird confrontation where I'm like, this guy's coming back now. He's wearing Robocop glasses.

[Jake Johnson]

So it Pitch now to have the video of her as evidence.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I go, hey, my man. Man, what pigeon you filming now? All I see is a bunch of kids, you creep. And then you're in a world of trouble going, no, there's an older lady who says disgusting things to me. And I go, you're the older lady, Ben. You don't want to be the vulgar older lady to this park as she is to you. You know, at the end of our show when we say we're not legally responsible, it's for this call, Gareth.

[Jake Johnson]

I think it feels like a bit.

[Roly]

Of a slippery slope, Rolly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're playing with real life here and I gotta self pitch.

[Jake Johnson]

Roll.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. This one's dangerous, my man.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you think you should do?

[Roly]

I, I really, I'm not sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, Roly, when you think of the fly the flyer idea, what are your thoughts of it?

[Roly]

I wasn't. Again, I wasn't sure. Jesus. You guys mentioned it last time, but.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was just wondering what her saying. If this woman harasses you, email me here.

[Jake Johnson]

No, just. Have you. Has there been an older, older bird in the park who's been sort of coming up with saying vulgar things?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stay away from birds and parks. Yeah, because now we want to disc it.

[Jake Johnson]

How close a bit of crumpet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. How bit is the kids park to this woman?

[Roly]

How big is it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

How close is it?

[Roly]

Oh, she lives right on the edge of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh my God. So always filming her. You're going in the direction of the park. Run.

[Jake Johnson]

Let the predator run the park. I mean, we.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's the problem with this premise. We might have two potential predators at the park. They think our hero is the predator.

[Jake Johnson]

Which is why he's getting the spy glasses. How many times do we have to circle a. A perfect solution? Like spy glasses.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Spy glasses. All of a sudden a guy who gets com. Who gets. Gets confronted about being a predator with weird new glasses with like a tiny light on the left hand corner, the.

[Jake Johnson]

Lights on the inside. You can't see it from the outside.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But then he's going to have a technical problem with it. When they talk to him, all of a sudden it's going to go like.

[Jake Johnson]

Beep, beep, recording, recording, recording, recording, recording.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And he's going to not know the technology and go like, oh my God. And then she's going to. They're going to go, why are you filming this? And he's going to go, the birds. The birds recommend. Lady's gonna go like, put your stick in my filthy hole. And they're Gonna be like both you.

[Jake Johnson]

Guys go to jail.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a roll. You're in a possible nightmare. I don't think we create. I just don't think we do flyers.

[Jake Johnson]

I. I agree.

[Roly]

One of my leaving.

[Jake Johnson]

Sorry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, you go. Roy.

[Roly]

I was just gonna say one of my friends had those ray bands with the camera in and you could. You could say there was a camera.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're not doing that.

[Jake Johnson]

That. We're not gonna get the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're not doing a hidden camera near a kids park ever.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, not put it part of a show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That pitch. That's what it is.

[Jake Johnson]

Don't put it like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll never approve of that.

[Jake Johnson]

We're not filming that for the last goddamn time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So now you're back to walking and this woman is back to harassing you. And what do we do now? And I hate when the victim has to make an adjustment because it isn't fair. You should be able to walk down this street. But I am at the point where I kind of feel like. And I know. I remember from the first call. This is the only path you like. You know what I might do? I might have a sign.

[Jake Johnson]

What's the sign say, sir?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop harassing me. Me.

[Jake Johnson]

Buddy. Let. Let me be Jake to Jake for a second.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go ahead.

[Jake Johnson]

So you're just going to walk around this park with a weird sign that says stop harassing me after two days ago you said you were just there to film birds. You're going to look like a crazy deranged. You're going to look like an old timey hobo on drugs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's no good.

[Jake Johnson]

My last pitch would be wear some AirPods gods. And when you just have to walk by the by the flames, go through it. You like to walk. Blast the music, blare her out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you feel physically afraid of her?

[Roly]

I. No, not really. No. You don't feel more of an annoyance.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, so she is assaulting your ears. But you do not feel in danger because that's a big distinction. If you felt in danger. We're in a different world. But you don't.

[Jake Johnson]

The people confronting you really took a lot of our power away way all of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It really our pitch is always to be the people confronting.

[Jake Johnson]

So that's why I would go AirPods ignore one last pitch. Record audio only and have an audio file. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well I just think the any technology Gareth after being that guy they're not.

[Jake Johnson]

Going to be like you're going to your apartment and like making a file of kid laughs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who knows what these creeps do.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, hold on. So you're saying basically put your phone in your pocket with a voice note recording.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Then walk by the park. If she says it, then you've got it, or you just get it.

[Jake Johnson]

And then the next time she does it, you say, I've got evidence of you harassing me. Stop it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Honestly, don't hate it.

[Roly]

Yeah, I don't mind it. Do you think you'd pick it up from the pocket?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you could if you were holding.

[Jake Johnson]

The phone in your hand.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, yes. By the way, that's the move.

[Roly]

Yeah, I don't mind it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't mind it.

[Roly]

I would say she seems to lack logic a little bit, but I definitely think it's probably worth a go. It might be.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, then we have.

[Roly]

Otherwise, I think I just give up on the park.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Then we move. Then we go to our last ditch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So let's do this. I think. Let's go with Gareth's idea, really. Let's have it in your phone. Have it on your phone. Your phone is in your hand closer to her house, but you are clearly not filming. If she starts harassing, just put your hand out a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

It'll pick it up, but just. And then I would say it out there the next day. Play it for her and just go, look, I have a few of these built up. Stop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't want to go to the police, but I will.

[Roly]

Right. And hopefully that'll confuse her like the filming did.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think so, too. It'll be just enough. And also then obviously, by the time you get to. Even near the park. Park. Put that phone in your pocket, big guy.

[Jake Johnson]

Try the audio. Save the audio. Yeah, and call us back with another update because we need to close the book on this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And by the way, you know what you could also do if she. If she. No, if she's harassing you while you have the phone in your hand, tell her, I'm recording the audio.

[Jake Johnson]

No, I. I don't hate it either. Don't hate it either.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, I'm recording it.

[Jake Johnson]

You. You can see it too, too. Like, it's. If you go to your home screen, it. It will show that it's like a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Running audience and then go, I'm recording it, by the way. Hold on. You know what you actually do?

[Jake Johnson]

Huh?

[Gareth Reynolds]

If the ladies confront you again, tell them about the podcast, tell them the episode number and go, there's an easier way to explain this. I need you to listen to this podcast. I feel very uncomfortable. And then go like this. But I promise you, it's fun. It's lighter than you expect. It's sillier. And. But that's what I would do. I would tell them to listen to the podcast so that they could be part of the fun. I would not try to explain it in the moment around their kids. And then I would say, like, but don't listen around the kids because it is vulgar. So that they know, like, oh, he's being ultra sensitive. Then they hear the problem, they get the camera. I think that is actually a big solve.

[Jake Johnson]

I. I think this works, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then so you're doing. So you're doing that. And then if you see them, you tell them that to go, like, like, just to be clear what happened. And then maybe we have the ladies on as a followup.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, sure, let's get crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And if we.

[Jake Johnson]

Maybe we have the lady from the park.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If, if those women. If the moms ever hear this podcast, email the show. We'll get the point of view of what you thought when you saw.

[Jake Johnson]

We're sorry about the impressions of you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry about my end.

[Jake Johnson]

Where are you from again?

[Gareth Reynolds]

South London. Fourth Cathedral. Went to international school, spent a little time in South Africa, part the Netherlands.

[Jake Johnson]

South Africa part, literally. Rolly just got added because one of our callers was, thank you for the call.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Please follow up with us.

[Roly]

Okay, thanks so much, guys. I really appreciate it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is gonna work. This is gonna be fun. This is gonna be fun.

[Jake Johnson]

Cheers.

[Roly]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thanks.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you. Bye bye. South Africa.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPodmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] heretohelpod to see our entire catalog.

[Roly]

We're Here to Help is produced by.

[Jake Johnson]

Rabbit Grimm Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis. Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike, animations by Andrew Strecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com heretohelpod hey, I'm Wayne Brady.

[Wayne Brady]

And I'm Jonathan Mangum. And we're two big improv nerds who get a chance to play and make stuff up on shows like Whose Line Is It Anyway? Or let's Make a Deal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we're now hosting a new improvised.

[Jake Johnson]

Show called what if on the Headgum Podcast Network.

[Wayne Brady]

And on what if, we believe that improvisation is a conversation. So we get to have conversations with guests from the worlds of tv, film, tech, and literature. Guests like Bobby Moynihan, Aisha Tyler, LeVar Burton, and Adam Conover. We asked them the big ridiculous questions like what if you heard a monkey's feelings?

[Jake Johnson]

What if your grandma was a secret agent?

[Wayne Brady]

What if Jonathan was invited to the cookout? I'm not. And then we turn the conversation into spontaneous scenes, songs. Well, because that's what we do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Subscribe to what if on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Cast, or wherever you get.

[Jake Johnson]

Your podcasts and watch episodes on YouTube.

[Wayne Brady]

No script, no net, Just what if.