Podcast Summary: We're Here to Help Episode 160: Turkey Turkey Turkey & Spying Gary Release Date: April 7, 2025

Hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds from Headgum, "We're Here to Help" is a unique blend of humor and heartfelt advice. In Episode 160, titled "Turkey Turkey Turkey & Spying Gary," Jake and Gareth tackle a variety of listener questions ranging from bowling league troubles to unsettling neighborhood encounters.

1. Bubbles the Chimpanzee Story [00:00 - 08:50]

Overview: The episode kicks off with Jake and Gareth sharing personal anecdotes about fasting and quickly segues into a fascinating story about Michael Jackson's pet chimpanzee, Bubbles.

Key Points:

• Gareth shares his experience with a 72-hour water fast, discussing the emotional and physical challenges he faced.
• The conversation transitions to discussing Bubbles, Michael Jackson's chimpanzee, highlighting Bubbles' life post-Jackson, including his time in a sanctuary in Florida where he pursues painting.
• The hosts humorously explore the quirks of keeping a chimpanzee as a pet and the inevitable challenges that come with it.

Notable Quotes:

• Gareth Reynolds [01:09]: "From hour 65 to 72, I was doing some weird stuff, my man."
• Hannah [07:07]: "He's a painter in an animal sanctuary in Florida and hangs out with one chimpanzee friend and they don't socialize with the other chimps."
• Gareth Reynolds [08:01]: "It's not an aquarium. Stop looking."

2. Advice for Hannah's Bowling Dilemma [13:26 - 37:00]

Overview: Hannah calls in seeking guidance on how to remove problematic relatives from her bowling league without causing family drama.

Key Points:

• Issue: Hannah and her husband joined a bowling league to make friends in their new small town. Initially, they bowled with a lovely older couple, but this season, the new partners have been excessively drunk, causing disruptions like forfeiting games, starting fights, and making inappropriate behavior (e.g., making out on benches).
• Challenge: Hannah wants to find a way to discontinue bowling with these relatives in the upcoming season without sparking family conflicts.
• Advice Provided:
  • Diplomatic Approach: Emphasize a desire to become more competitive and perhaps join a team with higher-performing bowlers. For instance, claiming they were approached by a more skilled couple who can help them excel.
  • Setting Boundaries: Suggesting Hannah and her husband adopt behaviors that subtly discourage the disruptive bowlers, such as limiting alcohol consumption or creating passive-aggressive scenarios to signal a shift in group dynamics.
  • Alternative Solutions: Including the idea of having the problematic bowlers serve as alternates or finding new partners who align better with their competitive goals.

Notable Quotes:

• Hannah [15:31]: "We want to find a way to like, either make them not want to bowl with us next season or just like kick them out or replace them without causing, like, a stir in the family."
• Gareth Reynolds [23:27]: "I think there's another thing you say, hey, we love bowling with you guys... we're looking to level up."
• Hannah [25:29]: "And by the way, my husband Andy pooped his pants tonight. It's called a turkey, and that's a flex."

3. Advice for Sarah's "Spying Gary" Issue [38:32 - 58:36]

Overview: Sarah from Auckland, New Zealand, reaches out about an unsettling daily occurrence where a man repeatedly looks into her bedroom window every morning.

Key Points:

• Issue: Sarah notices a man jogging past her window every morning around 7:30 AM. They often lock eyes, which has left her feeling uncomfortable and anxious. She also encounters him occasionally at the dog park but hasn't interacted with him directly.
• Concerns: Sarah is puzzled by his persistent glances and is unsure why he continues this behavior despite apparent boundaries.
• Advice Provided:
  • Install Warning Signs: Suggesting Sarah place clear and assertive signs on her window, such as "Stop Looking" or "Not an Aquarium. Please Do Not Stare," to deter prying eyes.
  • Aggressive Deterrents: Initially, some humorous suggestions like using an air horn whenever he looks in were discussed, though practical concerns about neighbor reactions were raised.
  • Maintain Boundaries: Emphasize the importance of setting firm boundaries without escalating the situation, ensuring Sarah feels safe without creating unnecessary tension.

Notable Quotes:

• Sarah [38:57]: "Every morning I sit in my bed and eat my breakfast... there's a man that runs past with his dog... I just don't know why he's looking in."
• Gareth Reynolds [43:03]: "Here’s my first pitch: a sign that says, 'Stop looking,' and an air horn to blast when he does."
• Hannah [51:36]: "Keep running. Stop looking is perfect."

4. Conclusion

In Episode 160, Jake and Gareth blend their characteristic humor with genuine attempts to provide helpful advice. From navigating tricky social dynamics in a bowling league to addressing personal safety concerns, the hosts engage listeners with relatable scenarios and creative solutions. Their ability to balance lighthearted banter with sincere guidance makes "We're Here to Help" a compelling listen for anyone seeking both laughs and practical advice.

Final Notable Quote:

• Hannah [61:31]: "Mrs. Gingerbread's getting bookings in Reno. And so it's... becoming part of our lives and I think that the world is in need of healing and maybe this is a small band aid."

Note: This summary focuses solely on the content-driven segments of the episode, omitting advertisements, intros, and outros as per the request.