168: I Feel Barfy & An I Love You, Man Situation

Summary

Podcast Summary: "We're Here to Help" – Episode 168: "I Feel Barfy & An I Love You, Man Situation"

Introduction In Episode 168 of We're Here to Help, hosts Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds tackle two intriguing and humorous caller situations. Released on May 5, 2025, this episode delves into the complexities of maintaining friendships as a young father and navigating misconceptions about personal interests. The conversational chemistry between Jake and Gareth ensures an engaging and entertaining listen for both regular listeners and newcomers.

Caller 1: Ariana Chamomile’s Foot Fetish Dilemma Timestamp: 03:05 – 05:00

The episode kicks off with Jake sharing a pre-recorded message from Ariana Chamomile, who humorously confesses, “80% of the guys I have slept with in the last year have put my feet in their mouths completely unprompted” (04:10). Ariana expresses her discomfort and seeks advice on handling this unexpected and unwelcome behavior. Jake and Gareth react with a mix of disbelief and amusement, discussing the societal perceptions of foot fetishes and emphasizing personal boundaries.

Key Insights:

• Personal Boundaries: The hosts underscore the importance of setting clear boundaries in personal relationships.
• Societal Perceptions: They explore how certain fetishes are perceived and the stigma that can accompany them.

Notable Quote:

Jake Johnson (04:32): "80% of the guys in their 20s and 30s are sticking a lady's foot in their mouth. Has the world gone utterly insane?"

Caller 2: Gabriel’s Quest for Fatherly Friendships Timestamp: 17:03 – 50:59

Gabriel, a 37-year-old father from Fullerton, California, reaches out seeking advice on building friendships with fellow dads in his suburban neighborhood. Drawing parallels to the movie I Love You, Man, Gabriel feels isolated despite frequent interactions while walking his 21-month-old son in the park. He describes the challenge of transitioning from existing shallow interactions to meaningful friendships.

Advice Offered:

• Leverage Shared Activities: Jake suggests hosting events like a "Dad's Day" at the park to create opportunities for bonding over shared interests.
• Utilize Social Platforms: Gareth recommends creating profiles on platforms like Instagram or even a dedicated website to showcase interests and attract like-minded individuals.
• Be Proactive and Creative: The hosts encourage Gabriel to think outside the box, such as organizing community events or joining existing father-centric groups like an intramural golf league.

Notable Quotes:

Jake Johnson (38:34): "The people you're going to hang out with are the people that your son wants to hang out with. Once your son makes friends, you'll naturally connect with other dads."

Gareth Reynolds (42:48): "We're here to manufacture a friendship. Friendship."

Caller 3: Stone’s Foot Fetish Confusion and Memes Timestamp: 50:59 – 76:48

Stone, a 28-year-old from Virginia, joins the discussion to address misunderstandings about his supposed foot fetish. After a series of memes and playful teasing from friends, Stone finds himself having to defend his lack of interest in feet. The conversation evolves into a humorous back-and-forth where Jake and Gareth create memes and playful narratives to help Stone navigate his social predicament.

Key Points:

• Handling Peer Teasing: The hosts provide strategies for responding to playful yet persistent teasing from friends.
• Humorous Deflection: Jake and Gareth demonstrate how humor can be an effective tool in diffusing uncomfortable situations.
• Community Support: Emphasizing the importance of supportive friendships, they encourage Stone to maintain his stance while keeping the atmosphere light-hearted.

Notable Quotes:

Stone (54:56): "Fetish is just such a dirty word. I don't know."

Jake Johnson (61:17): "We all have images flash before us while we're sexually aroused. Just the way the human brain works."

Conclusion Episode 168 of We're Here to Help masterfully balances humor with genuine advice, addressing both lighthearted and more sensitive caller issues. Jake and Gareth's dynamic interaction not only entertains but also provides practical insights into building meaningful relationships and handling social misunderstandings. Whether you're grappling with making new friends as a parent or navigating the tricky waters of personal interests, this episode offers valuable takeaways wrapped in laughter.

Final Thoughts:

• Embrace Humor: Using humor can effectively manage awkward or uncomfortable situations.
• Be Proactive: Taking initiative in social settings can lead to deeper and more fulfilling friendships.
• Clear Communication: Clearly expressing personal boundaries and interests helps in maintaining healthy relationships.

Notable Quote:

Gareth Reynolds (74:14): "We love you, bud. You don't have a foot fetish."

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Note: All timestamps correspond to the moments in the provided transcript where the highlighted discussions occur.

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Gemini.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Jake. It is to us. Gemini was an American gladiator, but not to the kids of today. We're talking exams, essays. This is stressful stuff. We went through it. We were on our own.

[Jake Johnson]

But Gemini is offering something really great for college students. So if you are a listener of We're Here to Help, and if you want a little extra help, Gemini Advanced is now free for college students in the United States of America. Sign up before June 30th and you'll get free access all the way through Spring Finals 2026. So, Gareth, when you use Gemini, which we both use, what do you use it for and what do you like about it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's sometimes, like, if there's a topic that I think I want to do stand up on or if there's sometimes, like, if I'm writing something for my show, it's just like a way to kind of have something info. It just gives you all the information and right away you go, oh, okay, now I actually get this. Now I can personalize it.

[Jake Johnson]

Visit Gemini Google slash students to learn more. Terms apply. The new McCrispy strip is here. Dip approved by Ketchup Tangy barbecue, Honey mustard, honey mustard, Sprite McFlurry, Big Mac sauce, Double dipped in buffalo and ranch, More ranch and Creamy Chili McCrispy Strip Dip now at McDonald's bottom calling all ones and twos. We're conducting an audience survey at Gumgum fm hereto help and we would love to hear from you so we can keep making content that you love.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know this, we know this. There are ads on our podcast. We want to improve that experience. But in order to do this, we need to know a little bit more about you, our audience. The survey is a quick, easy and free way to support the podcast. Take you two minutes and you'll be helping us out so much by doing it.

[Jake Johnson]

So go to Gumgum FM here to help to fill out our audience survey. That's G U M F m here to help. And we are back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake.

[Jake Johnson]

Have you been enjoying today so far, Gareth?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I'm giving a bell ring just to start us off. We're having a time. I'm home.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, Recording. Good. You know what we've been doing this morning? We did some ads. We decided to do them together.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And we decided to just record the whole thing and put it on Patreon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

And it's been.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So if you like that sort of stuff, go to Patreon.

[Jake Johnson]

And if you don't. Then enjoy the free show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fine, it's a free show. Stop.

[Jake Johnson]

So I got something that somebody wrote the show that I just want to share with you. Interesting woman name Ariana. Okay, just going to let you know that I know you without giving your last name away. It starts with a C. H A M. You know what I'm saying? Ariana Chamomile. She wrote this at 4:58am well, but that could be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That could be an 8am East Coast.

[Jake Johnson]

That's true. That's true. Hi all. This might be tmi, but I don't think this adds anything. Wait, this might be tmi. Plus, I don't think this adds anything to Stone's call. But since I heard it and last week's call with Stone cameo, I've been thinking about this and maybe this is in Stone's defense. Question mark. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but I do not have a foot fetish as everyone who has one and I have.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's how it starts.

[Jake Johnson]

Asked anyone to do anything with slash to my feet. That being said.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh boy.

[Jake Johnson]

80% of the guys I have slept with in the last year have put my feet in their mouths completely unprompted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Jake Johnson]

There may be something in the air for men in their 20s and 30s.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She must have great feet. But even then, that's not a justification for that stat.

[Jake Johnson]

Just think about it. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Jake Johnson]

80% of men in their 20s and 30s are sticking a lady's foot in their mouth. Do you, Gareth? Has the world gone utterly insane?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you. It's gone topsy turvy. Do you have you any inter. Have even in your single days?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The foot to me was never something.

[Jake Johnson]

Now, maybe if you're just getting out of a bath together, who knows. Or maybe if you're doing the bath where you're sitting across from each other, even then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now this is the sort of thing if someone asked you to do it. No issue.

[Jake Johnson]

Agreed. By the way. 100 right. Unprompted. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But just for my benefit. No interest.

[Jake Johnson]

No way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No interest.

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's other parts for the mouth.

[Jake Johnson]

But also she didn't say post shower.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

Which means at a bar, dancing, hanging out, laughing, socks on, getting in the sack, taking the socks off. Taking the clothes off. I'm gonna stick these disgusting little piglets in my mouth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But let's be fair, Jake. There are, you know, let's say you're performing some other stuff. You don't nes. You're not Necessarily going, what's the day been like?

[Jake Johnson]

I agree. You don't think you're asked to play racquetball before this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you might be asking.

[Jake Johnson]

If you did, there'd be no babies made.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, there's definitely. Certainly not with the mouth. I'm talking mouth time.

[Jake Johnson]

I agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Stone]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How many made through the mouth?

[Jake Johnson]

And science is a wonderful thing. Gary.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I. But foot stuff.

[Jake Johnson]

Agreed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It. To me, it's a. It's no interest. I don't know.

[Jake Johnson]

This is something I want to say.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is this an age divide?

[Jake Johnson]

I don't know. But this is something I want to say to the community, to the fan base. Stone has sent this show in a weird direction and we are getting emails at 5am in Stone's defense. Now, we have never gotten stuff like this. Now, a lot of people have been mad. Gareth. This is another thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of course.

[Jake Johnson]

You know what people are mad about?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kink shaming.

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Jake Johnson]

How we handled the denture call.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, interesting.

[Jake Johnson]

They do not like that a woman is shaming an employee for dentures. And why is gender including? No, it didn't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, good. Okay, then I'm okay with it.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Gender was. I just said she.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Not only was the woman an asshole, but the two hosts and the goofball who hosts High Strangeness were also dog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

What a miss. And we got a lot of. I'm still a listener. But this one turned me off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, look, what's great is that. Okay, that's noted. That's good to know. Next time we are weighing in. I mean, again, I disagree.

[Jake Johnson]

I think it's just. Look it. This is a. I respect the opinion. I hear it. This. We. We're not. Nothing's planned.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We also.

[Jake Johnson]

We're taking it in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, if the, the, the woman without the teeth called in, it's a different session. We're on the side of.

[Jake Johnson]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we're trying to solve the caller issue.

[Jake Johnson]

So by no means are we heroes. Which is what we've been called.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. By us. Which is true. I still think that's right.

[Jake Johnson]

I do too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. But I also think that I, I, if I put myself in the position of going to a place to eat.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I could tell the person has no teeth.

[Jake Johnson]

I could already read the emails. You don't read that. I do. Just stop. That was a loss. They hated it. They hated it. So many. Like, guys, this was really in bad taste, I think. I think the complaint was, she can't help. And also a lot of people were saying like, honest to God, she could get sued. As a boss, you are not allowed to send. And by the way, that's why at the end, something saying, make your own decision.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we are. No, yeah, legally, we're clear. Leave us alone.

[Jake Johnson]

There was a few emails that said, you guys are honestly on this one. If a boss sends something to the employee about maybe putting your dentures in, that's a lawsuit. To which my thought was, I hear.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You, but she was saying she was going to put her in a different zone of the. We were in many ways trying to preserve the role that she just accept the loss. It's coming from a Bears fan.

[Jake Johnson]

Ring the bell. Just to piss the people off. This is about the denture call that just for all the emails that comments.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But to bring it back to the toe and the foot.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, Stoney, it is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is interesting in general, but it's also interesting that the new cover boy for the feet, he didn't want this.

[Jake Johnson]

Battle, but I didn't ask for it. I think those 80% of those guys who are sucking toes don't think they have a foot fetish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

I think we're in a new world where to them that's not a fetish. To them, they go, of course I sucked a random lady's toes. That's what sex is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See, it would. Look, I have to full candor. I am a very straightforward person when it comes to that. Like, I'm not. Look, you want to do a position shift, let's party. You want to get a little weird, that's fine.

[Jake Johnson]

But I'm never aging yourself in a way that you don't want to age yourself. I never ask for anything against your boyish vibe. You just said, hey, I'm pretty much meat and potatoes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How long until I post a picture of me sucking toes? Being like, hate all you want. And I have my teeth out and.

[Jake Johnson]

You have a perm, and I have.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A perm my teeth out, and I'm sucking toes.

[Jake Johnson]

And then I go, gareth. And you go, what? I've always loved sucking toes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah. Get off my lawn, old man. Leave me alone. I'm with those guys that you sent me that podcast with the kids who talk about pizza toppings and they've never even oatmeal.

[Jake Johnson]

One guy's like, I. I like the meatball when there's cheddar on it, and then it cuts to you and you go like this. I totally agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you saw me in there, the.

[Jake Johnson]

Shave is clean as a bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll cut myself in Cut yourself in.

[Jake Johnson]

With the perm and just all of a sudden it cuts to them. And then if you can get the lighting to look the same. And then if you go like. Yeah. And it's just not even.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My teacher hates when I do that.

[Jake Johnson]

But don't. Don't end it at the end where you're winking and nodding.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Just literally have a moment where it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Goes, you know who you're talking to.

[Jake Johnson]

But then it goes to you and you've got the full perm and you've got the Mat Lafleur.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not a. It's not a perm.

[Jake Johnson]

And you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Again, I'm not. We're having fun. But to call it a perm is crazy fine.

[Jake Johnson]

Curling creams.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And then you literally go, go curls. I not God given curl created from a curling thought.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was that created for. It's enhanced.

[Jake Johnson]

So I really thought I was going.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To sneak that one in.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, you don't have curling creams in right now. You don't have God given a curl.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look at that.

[Jake Johnson]

That's cool. You got one curl. So then Gareth actually do that video.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I do like that idea a lot.

[Jake Johnson]

Be so. And just don't even. Just slow.

[Clinton]

Have you ever seen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have you ever seen Kirby Jenner?

[Jake Johnson]

I don't even know who that is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a guy who pretends he is a part of the Kardashians and he's invented this character called Kirby Jenner and he just cuts himself into. It's so funny. That would be great. I like that idea a lot.

[Jake Johnson]

But be careful then. If somebody's already doing that bit and it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no. I've done these bits where I'll like cut myself into like news clips, like being the guy interviewed.

[Jake Johnson]

That's funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And just like be like, you know, we find like an ESPN clip and then I'll just. Whatever, just go up. So that's not hard. Do I like that idea? That's very funny.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, let's get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's get into it. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Without further ado, ado.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not curly cream.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by something that I have in my home and that is Skylight Calendars. Skylight calendar is basically your old school calendar made digital. It looks like a calendar. You see it like a calendar. It's not like the calendar's on your phone. You can visually see it in that old school way, which I love. But it can also put things on from your technology, which Makes it easier. I bought one from my wife. She loved it. We talked about on the show and now they are sponsors. It's pretty full circle. Skylight Calendars. And I like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We are very happy to have this sponsor because Jake and I were talking just about how hard it is for us to keep our calendars straight. You know, whether you're someone who uses sticky notes or you just kind of get get lost in your calendar, Skylight Calendar is here to keep your family organized. So right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch calendars by going to skylightcal.com here to help. Go to skylightcal.com Here to help for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. That is S K Y L I G H T C A L.com here to help.

[Jake Johnson]

Help. This podcast is sponsored by the crisp, the refreshing, Angry Orchard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, Jake, you don't sound angry when you talk about it, because why would you be? Listen, guys, there's a litany of things that we shouldn't get angry about, but let's be honest, sometimes it's hard not to be.

[Jake Johnson]

I get angry at stuff, Gareth, such.

[Gareth Reynolds]

As, Mr. Johnson, your perm. Stop. I'm soaking wet.

[Stone]

Stop.

[Jake Johnson]

Not today. By the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, your anger at the perm. I told you you're gonna movie and you know it's going to be, oh.

[Jake Johnson]

It was a ridiculous face.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not even a perm. I don't know what's happening.

[Jake Johnson]

I get angry at your love of the Packers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I get angry at your delusion over the bears.

[Jake Johnson]

I get angry at the draft in Green Bay where you just looked around. And my mother, who lived in Manitowoc, I'm like, oh, look at this city.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And people talking about.

[Jake Johnson]

And it's like, go back. And I was like, I'm feeling.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They had a great draft. Listen, don't get angry about all the things that we talked about, except for Jake's kind of obsessive relationship with the bears that they've never fulfilled him for 1985.

[Jake Johnson]

Alive.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was alive for one time. Instead, get an angry Orchard and feel good, feel chill and refreshed, not getting pissed off, but have a tasty angry orchard. Okay? Angry Orchard is the number one hard cider in the country. Has a bright, crisp apple flavor. I just had one the other day. Jake, it's just like biting into a fresh apple. Something we all want to do.

[Jake Johnson]

So grab an Angry Orchard cider today. Don't get angry. Get orchard. And please drink responsibly. This episode of we're here to help is brought to you by the one and only, Squarespace.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Squarespace. Jake, we love Squarespace.

[Jake Johnson]

Because I want to see how Squarespace works. Go to garethreynolds.com Gareth is at a Squarespace website.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake, let me answer that question with one word. Absolutely.

[Jake Johnson]

And what do you like about it? When you built your website where people can come see you on the road, what works about Squarespace's website?

[Gareth Reynolds]

GarethReynolds.com Squarespace not only makes the site look professional, the design is great. It's not that hard. You just are able to scale your business. It gives you everything you need. It's the best. Helps you. And now they just keep getting better and better.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, they got cutting edge design, they got SEO tools.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's big too.

[Jake Johnson]

Do you know what that means?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of course I do.

[Jake Johnson]

What does it mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't push me.

[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Gareth, the domain domains, they make it easy to find the best domain. There are videos. It makes it easy to showcase your Expertise.

[Jake Johnson]

Check out squarespace.com here to help for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code here to help to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain. Gilly, take us out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Jake, it's been a while. It's been a long while.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you so much, Gil.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello.

[Alex]

Hello.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello. How are you?

[Alex]

I'm good, thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

How are you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good. What time is it where you are? It's got to be like the middle of the night or something like that, isn't it?

[Alex]

Yeah. 2:30 it is here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, Jake, you hear that? 2:30 in the morning. Don't do it.

[Jake Johnson]

It's 2:30 in the morning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is your. Please stop. What is your name, please? Clinton's New Zealand. She's not a Kiwi. She's Aussie.

[Jake Johnson]

What are you?

[Alex]

Yeah, I'm Aussie. Correct.

[Jake Johnson]

Right on you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where in Australia are you, Alex?

[Alex]

I'm from Melbourne.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Lovely, beautiful.

[Jake Johnson]

Love it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great town. You've been there.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm gonna be there. JakeJohnson.com I'm gonna. Right now I'm in Rockford, Illinois.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake's in his little weird dojo with the sailor head and gorilla paintings. All right, well, Alex, rough age, just like. Let's say you're going through one of those websites where you gotta pick the category. Are we? Are we what? Are we an 18 to 26? Are we 27? To 32. We have 32 to 41. I'll finish. Are we a 42 to 52? Are we a senior?

[Alex]

What are we definitely the 18 to 26.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, okay, 18, 26 going.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But it was good. It was good to show that I know how to categorize numbers pretty well.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth, can I ask one question?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You sure may.

[Jake Johnson]

Based off what Morgan Nally created on the Patreon, which was? She asked the Patreon community for questions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, right.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Alex, without looking back off the top of your head and please, no, just be as honest as you can. What was the last text you sent into who and what was it about? Not involving our show?

[Alex]

Oh, my God. It was probably a happy birthday text to my auntie and my uncle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sweet. Your aunt and uncle have the same birth date.

[Alex]

Yeah, no, they're not even twins, but they just magically happen to be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, they're brother.

[Alex]

Sister.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was picturing maybe like uncle by marriage. I hope not.

[Jake Johnson]

Let me give you some advice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I am opposed to brothers and sisters married.

[Jake Johnson]

Alex, what can we do for you?

[Alex]

So I studied fine art in uni and for my one of my projects.

[Jake Johnson]

To the audience, uni means university and project means project.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, that one. So for one of my projects, I crocheted a human. She was meant to be life size. She's now. Well, she's actually seven foot tall.

[Jake Johnson]

Whoa.

[Alex]

Yeah, she's pretty awesome. I do love her. She's pretty well beloved by all. But not all with her.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, so, Alex, you make a seven foot crochet. Is it a lady or a man? And do you do jiu jitsu against it? Have you ever beat it up?

[Alex]

He's a woman.

[Jake Johnson]

She's been through it.

[Alex]

I can't say violence has ever been deliberately.

[Jake Johnson]

I like that about you.

[Alex]

Thank you. Yeah, no, we love her, we respect her, we treat her with kindness.

[Jake Johnson]

What's her name?

[Alex]

Virginia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great. Of course.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. So you made it. Oh, we got a photo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, we got some more photos too. Whenever you want to.

[Jake Johnson]

So she's. Gareth, will you describe what we're seeing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, a. Well, obviously crocheted.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on. Gail, will you describe what we're saying?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh my God, where have I been? I'm waking up under a bottle of red Solo cups. And yes, they had beer at a one man beer pog is achievable since I've on the sidelines. Jake crochet. Not a lot of people know about this. This is the art of knitting. It looks like a potato sack.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's Go to Gareth, please.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I'd say it's like a potato sacked looking woman. Yeah, she's well designed. Black, big eyes, black yarn hair, black yarn eyebrows. Her arms definitely have no bones in them. She's boneless, I would guess.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but very. I mean, but I will say this. Pretty realistic. It's. If you crochet that, Alex, that's very good. The eyes look good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The eyebrows look good, look good. The mouth. Mouth.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, it's a little bit like a. The first photo we're seeing, which obviously we'll post, is a little bit like. Like they're either on meth or they're in the horror movie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what it kind of reminds me of? Obviously this is animated, but it's a little Wallace and Gramedy.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. Okay. So, Alex, keep going. So. And by the way. So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, okay. All right, all right, hold on, Alex, we're gonna to put you on ice for a second longer because Jesse has scrolled to pick two. We're saying.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on, Alex. Alex.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Jake, let's. Let's tell people what just happened. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

We are boobs in a vagina.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, great. Thank you. So Alex is now naked photo of.

[Jake Johnson]

Virginia sitting on a chair with her legs spread.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Spread him. Let's just say the vagina is very. That looks pretty good.

[Jake Johnson]

Kind of something. Yes. The boobs look like a lady laying on her back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. This.

[Jake Johnson]

It's way too realistic. And my question to you, Alex, is what's up? Why'd you do the vagina and boobs?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And way to go. Thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

On my dummy in my garage.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, yeah, when it's yours.

[Alex]

Well, she had to be. She had to be realistic. She had to have her bit.

[Jake Johnson]

Walk us through. Now, the very real reason, because, look, you have talent as an artist. Were you in art school?

[Alex]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so you're an artist.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Be great if she said she was an English major.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. So you were an artist. You did a project. You like this podcast. Do you find yourself to be a funny person? I think you do. And I think you're funny too. But is it a little bit funny?

[Alex]

Oh, my gosh. Oh, I think I'm hilarious, but I haven't actually. Yeah, you are funny.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a very funny doll you've created. So when you're making the boobs and the vagina, I want the truth. How hard were you laughing?

[Alex]

Do you know what I want to say? Really hard. But I was really into it at the time. I was very serious. I was very.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pictures back up.

[Alex]

I'M gonna be honest, there's no, there's no patterns for vaginas. You just have to make that up. So I was really concentrating, guys.

[Jake Johnson]

Ok. You did a great job. Started as a little funny, but then when you got into it, you said like, well, I want to see if I can make a good vagina.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And you have.

[Alex]

I'm.

[Jake Johnson]

From the photo we have. It's not a closeup and I don't need to see any closer. Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We can figure it out. We want to CSI it.

[Jake Johnson]

No. Oh, so now you have left this seven foot creature. Jesse, please don't push it forward. Honest to God. I honestly might feel, I feel barf me. Thank you for not put. Thank you for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like the way that Jesse did the, the tester pushing. He's like, do you want to see a little closer?

[Jake Johnson]

So Alex, so now you've made this doll. I'm with you. It's seven feet tall. It worked when you were at university. Since you have graduated, you have moved on. You leave it at mom and dad's house. Mom and dad are nice to have it because it's your art project. It's in your room.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. And then where are we at now? Mom and dad are now starting to say what's going on with Virginia?

[Alex]

Pretty much, yeah. Like there's only, it's sort of like beating a dead horse, you know, like it was funny for a bit and now it's just scary for them. And there's a few ideas like people like my sister wants to burn her and have like, you know, all that, but I just think she's better than that. No, I, I love her too much to get rid of her, but I don't know what to. And like I, I, I'm still making art and everything like that, but you can't, like she's, she's now stretched and dirty and gross and she's been through it and I, I don't think I can revive her, but I just don't know what to do with her remains, you know?

[Jake Johnson]

I understand. So you have love for Virginia and so a part of you doesn't want to disrespect her by just throwing her in the trash. But you also don't want to travel with her. You don't want her in your house and you don't want to try to fix her. You've moved on artistically. So this is what do I do with my childhood stuffy. If it happened to be a seven foot tall doll named Virginia with a Lifelike vagina?

[Alex]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Jake Johnson]

That's interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is, for sure.

[Jake Johnson]

I got to Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, come on. Everything's on the table.

[Jake Johnson]

You said, Alex, that they were talking of. Your sister was talking about burning it at the stake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. An effigy.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah. She hates her so much.

[Jake Johnson]

And what do you think of that? You don't like that because it's disrespectful, or do you think it'd be fun?

[Alex]

No, I think it would be so sad and like.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, I don't know.

[Stone]

I.

[Alex]

That was nine months I spent on this. On this woman. She's kind of awesome. I just. I think she deserves better.

[Jake Johnson]

So I got a question to you about where you're at in your art. You can't incorporate Virginia in something you can't make, like a glass box. So we had a thing for a while where we were talking about this show that they used to do with dead bodies. They would embalm them and put them in glass boxes and use them as coffee tables.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

I would just consider putting Virginia in a dresser. Like, she's dead. And it's an. Oh, it's a coffin, but it's a glass. It's like a. It's like a. Either plastic box that is your coffee table that you move around with you, and she's in there as if it's like a dead relative.

[Alex]

Wow. That could be actually pretty cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like that one a lot. I think that one's pretty good. It's definitely artsy. And you get to keep Virginia in a way where she's not going to deteriorate on the outside.

[Jake Johnson]

I got another one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, I got a couple, too. Go ahead.

[Jake Johnson]

Without any notes. Send it to your worst ex boyfriend.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's pretty good.

[Alex]

I live in a smallish town and everyone already knows about Virginia. They know exactly.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, that doesn't work. Okay.

[Alex]

Yeah, she's also been, like, on my Instagram, so I got you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, well, here's. Here's what I. The first one I thought of is well off of your sister's pitch. If you did want to end it, you could. We could just kind of have cremate her. So we're not burning her, we're cremating her. You could have the ashes. We can have it a little urn. We can put it on a shelf and you can always have Virginia there. You can have a picture. How wide of the shot you want, you know, is up to you.

[Jake Johnson]

But how do you burn it? Do you have a fireplace?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, honestly, I think the Way that they do cremation anyway is like they're kind of fudging it a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, that's not accurate.

[Alex]

I don't know, guys. Like, I did ask, like, what to do with Virginia. Like, to keep her alive, not to kill her.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, okay.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, so then I'm gonna keep her alive.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna nix the water funeral, not trigger.

[Jake Johnson]

Wait, what is the water funeral, though?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, just dump her off a boat?

[Jake Johnson]

It's not a water funeral.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it is.

[Jake Johnson]

That's how mafia guys kill each other. You swim with the fish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We grieve. We grieve. We grieve. Virginia, she's in the ocean, concrete on.

[Jake Johnson]

Her ankles, and you just throw her off the boat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, here's my last one. My last one is let. We could flat Stanley her.

[Jake Johnson]

Her.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We could. We could. We could. What we could do is we could float this out there to the audience and see if someone wants to take Virginia on some kind of a adventure. Yeah, and they keep you.

[Jake Johnson]

Didn't we? With the gumball?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we did. Well, we got the gumball. Didn't we get the gumball sent to someone Museum.

[Jake Johnson]

But it first started, they took a road trip in, like, a convertible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, so then I'm pitching maybe some sort of of Virginia road trip. We put her in clothes, we take her on a journey around the world. Or what we could do is kind of chain letter her so that we could. You could send Virginia to someone who wants her. They can have her for a couple months, take Virginia on an adventure. That person floats out where Virginia should go to next, and then she kind of just.

[Jake Johnson]

Let me. Let me jump in here, Gary. Yeah, because I love this. But it might not be Virginia. It might be another caller, and here's why. Okay, seven feet tall.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but she squishes. You saw how she could squish.

[Alex]

Super squishy.

[Jake Johnson]

She's a real squisher size box. Could you put Virginia in to send.

[Alex]

I fit her in my boot before she was. She was pretty valuable.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Boot, trunk, car trunk, Jake, not shoe.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, trunk. That trunk is humongous. Sorry, Alex, are you talking about, like, could she fit in a backpack?

[Alex]

Oh, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wait.

[Alex]

How big is a backpack? Like maybe like one of those big hockey ones?

[Jake Johnson]

No, see, this is what I'm saying. Gary, we can't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's too.

[Jake Johnson]

She's seven feet tall.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We can still ship her around with a real. She's light. How much does she weigh? How much does she weigh?

[Alex]

I've never weighed it before.

[Jake Johnson]

40 to 50?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. You think £50?

[Jake Johnson]

40 ish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a lot. That's more than I would imagine.

[Alex]

Yeah, actually like that amount of yarn and cotton probably does.

[Jake Johnson]

Look, I wrestle with dummies, man. I know what they weigh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't. I guess it. I really am kind of ignoring your expertise of you.

[Jake Johnson]

You are, dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

This is what I do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is your. This, this is your dojo.

[Jake Johnson]

This is what I do. So this is my life, brother. I've murdered. I murder them, son. Snap their arms, son. This is what I do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, Saturday. Well, the one that you're. Your little. Your little shed dummy hurt your knees knee, didn't he?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. I haven't wrestled with it in ages, son. But I'm looking for a Virginia type. I will murder this one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have one more. That is terrible. Make a Tinder profile for her. Make a Tinder profile for her and see if anyone swipes on it. And if they do swipe on it, take her to the rendezvous point and see what happens.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that might be my favorite. I would say create a Tinder profile of Virginia and just, just see what happens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like fill it out in the box. Fill out the world.

[Alex]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you think of that, Alex?

[Alex]

Well, I think that's perfect. I did say she was meant to look greater things and maybe she, she needs to find her her own dojo guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, what you could also do. What you could also do is if you wanted. I don't know how far you want to carry this into, into your life. It sounds like you're kind of done with her. Her. Sorry, I got dogs over here, so. But if you're kind of done with her, what you could do is you could create an Instagram for her and just kind of take her on adventures and her first date could be one of those adventures.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, you know, I think that's really nice. You could do something else where you could say like, Virginia has grown up and she's moving out of the house looking for a permanent home. Must be perfect. Perfect person willing to interview over zoom.

[Alex]

Okay. Yep, I like that.

[Jake Johnson]

Why don't you do this? You could create a website for Virginia saying Virginia is looking for a new home with photos of her. Send an email to this contact if you are interested and we as a show will post that obviously and get that out there and we can do follow ups with you and figure out what happens with Virginia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, so why, why don't you make a Tinder profile that says I'm here for the longest term Relationship possible. I'm getting out of something complicated right now, and I'm looking for my forever home. Something like that.

[Jake Johnson]

It's got to be. Isn't Tinder Tinder partly about sex?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

See, we got a vagina and boobs on this thing. Well, we got to be careful what we're offering.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, look.

[Alex]

Well, I feel like she could reach a few platforms. There's not just Tinder out there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, sweet Tinder.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm looking for a little bit more pg. You know, could be nice about this. Alex. Alex, are you single?

[Alex]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Wouldn't this be a wild way for you to meet somebody? Isn't that a movie premise? Somebody writes back and you guys are talking about creating a home for Virginia, and all of a sudden you guys realize, well, hold on, maybe we should get coffee and talk about Virginia.

[Alex]

Let's talk about Virginia. I mean, I'm down to talk about Virginia any day of the week.

[Jake Johnson]

So I. So you're leaning towards starting a profile?

[Alex]

I think so, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Profiles. And see if somewhere would like to have her.

[Jake Johnson]

So why don't you do this, Alex? Why don't you start the profile, send them to us so we can also see them, too? And.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I think we could share it, and we can see if there's anyone who really is serious about this, and you can vet them and, you know, whatever.

[Jake Johnson]

And if all of a sudden it becomes about sending it to somebody, then. Then we can go down that road, but you got to figure out if it's the right person, and if somebody really wants Virginia someplace maybe we can find a good home for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why don't we do this?

[Jake Johnson]

We just did this with a fish, didn't we? We did House for a fish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, yeah, we made him, but why don't you do this? Why don't you get it out there? We'll share it. You vet some people, and if you think you have the winner, let us know and we can have you both back on and we can approve.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, that's exactly right, Alex. I love that, Gareth. So then pick your top two. If you find two, do. And we'll do like a game show type thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great.

[Jake Johnson]

Who gets Virginia?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great.

[Alex]

Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, I like that.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so either. What are you going to do? You're going to create a squarespace. Are you going to go on the tinders of the world or on Instagram?

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's other options.

[Jake Johnson]

Or an Instagram.

[Alex]

Yeah, I'm thinking I'll do it on my. I'll start on my Instagram. I've got. I've got an account that I reckon, like, I can definitely do some advertising on.

[Jake Johnson]

So what's the name on your. What's your Instagram art account? So everybody can just look at that when they hear this show. Because this won't come out for. This won't come out till May anyhow.

[Alex]

I think it's just my name. I think it's Alexandra Kenny. C A I R N E Y.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, why don't you say that again one more time a little bit slower.

[Alex]

Alexandra. C A I R N E Y.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so if anybody wants to check that out, check it out. You will see either links to Virginia or Virginia will be there. If you are somebody who wants Virginia, hit her up there. Yep. And we will take the top two or three and we will do a little bit of a game show about this on a follow up and we will find a home for Virginia.

[Alex]

Oh, that would be amazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, here we go. That's what we do. Thank you, Alex.

[Alex]

Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

[Jake Johnson]

I appreciate you. You want to start with scarf?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Hello there.

[Stone]

Oh, hello.

[Jake Johnson]

Hi.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How are you?

[Stone]

Hi. How's it going, guys?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great. You really turned it on once you realized it was the show. Can we get your. Your name where you're calling from? Rough age, please?

[Stone]

My name is Gabriel and I'm calling from Fullerton, California. Yeah, so I'm in sort of I love you, man situation. Have you guys seen that movie?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Give the quick premise of the movie for anybody who hasn't really fast, Gabriel.

[Stone]

Yeah, basically this. This guy has a great relationship with his partner, but he doesn't have any close guy friends. And he needs a. He needs a best man. So he tries to go find. He basically tried. Tries to make friends because he. Yeah. And, um, so I'm in sort of a similar situation, um, where just. Just trying to find friends, but guy friends. Because I live in a suburban neighborhood with my wife and my son and I, we. I walk around the neighborhood all the time with my. With my little son and I see all these dads with their, you know, young dads around my neighborhood. And, you know, I say hi and, you know, just very short interactions. But I guess my question is just like, how do I make friends with. With all these other. All these other young dads in the. In the neighborhood and it's without. I don't know, there's kind of this.

[Jake Johnson]

Awkward d. What's a sweet question?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And so not an easy.

[Jake Johnson]

It's not an easy solution, but it's a Sweet question.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you just trying to make friends? Just. There's no event. You're just trying to become friends?

[Stone]

Yeah, just.

[Jake Johnson]

Just try looking for some dad friends. He's with his kid, he's a little bored. He's like, if I could just hang out with another guy at the park, it could be more fun while the kids are playing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is tough, you know, like, that you don't have any. Did Is this just been a lifelong problem of yours? This is new.

[Stone]

Well, it's kind of gradual because, like, in my 20s, you know, gradually, my friends that I grew up with started to move out of state, move away, and now I'm at the point where, you know, at 30, I got married, and then we, you know, just focused on just hanging out with my wife most of the time. And then we had a son. And so then it was. Was like, really, like just my immediate family. So. But yeah, I mean, it's like all my close friends are, like, out of state. We, like, play Xbox, you know, online, but I just don't have that, like, you know, that male energy.

[Jake Johnson]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's tough.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, hard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is hard. I. I think, like. Well, what do you like? You like to play Xbox? Are there any other outdoor activities you like?

[Stone]

Yeah, golf. I am a big golfer.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, we can't just pitch clean, Gareth, of trying to find interest because that's not what this show is. Right. So, Gabriel, we're in a tough spot because here's what I think we're going to have to do. And it's weird, but, you know, you called in a weird show for an easy fix because. Not an easy fix, but the. You didn't want a straight shot because a straight shot is not why you're calling, but how to make friends in your 30s with dads. I don't know what's going to happen. I bet your son is very young. How old's your son?

[Stone]

He's 21 months.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. So here's what really happens, Gabriel. The people you're going to hang out are the people who gab your son wants to hang out with. And you're going to just be with those parents once he starts making friends. Friends. It doesn't matter who that other dad is. You guys are at the park together, and you will find something to gab about, because right now you still have to decide. Pretty soon, he's going to decide, and this is not going to be a problem in six months or a year. But the premise of the show is we're here to help you Right now. And so that's what we're going to do. So here's what I'd like you to do. I'd like you to maybe host something at the park where it's a dad's day, where you could put a sign up that says like got my son to myself from 10 till noon. Would love to talk Masters now. This is weird. Even as I'm saying it, I don't like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got, I got one.

[Jake Johnson]

Go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, look, we have the Swiss army knife on this show and sometimes it has to be meta, which is we have to just use the show to help the show. Okay, I think we should invite. How old are you, Gabriel?

[Stone]

37.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I, I think we should invite some 37 year old guys who live in this area. Where in California?

[Jake Johnson]

Fullerton.

[Stone]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To submit who. Who are also feeling this. This does happen, right. This is not fully uncommon and like men start to.

[Jake Johnson]

But so are we pitching then, Gareth? And I'm not against it. Are we pitching the same thing we pitched earlier where earlier today we had a thing about Virginia, a seven foot doll and we were talking about creating a website where she was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You saying that he hangs out with the doll? No, he bffs the Virginia doll.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm saying do we create a find a friend type website?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think we go differently. I think what we do is we invite some Fullerton, California male, probably parent, but not necessarily listeners of this show, to submit to the show and we as our follow up, which could be.

[Jake Johnson]

A little lengthy, A date.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We do. We do. We do. We do. He gets to evaluate a couple guys and pick which guy he wants to go on a friend hang.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't hate it.

[Stone]

Oh, that's wild.

[Jake Johnson]

But it's going to make that first hang so weird. Maybe, but any of this, it could be funny too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, you know what's weird is walking around the neighborhood with your 21 month old son trying to lure pals with him. I mean that's weird. Like what we're basically doing, Jake. What we're doing, Jake, is we're saying we want you to online date versus, hey, walk up to three women in a bar when you're single and try to get numbers.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you think about creating a getting on squarespace.com, starting a website and it's your interests, your likes, who you are, what you would like, what you're looking for. And basically the thing is called I'm looking for an I love you man situation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But we can even I want to use Squarespace and we probably can but why not right now? Now we can have him make his dating tape right now. And I'm only saying dating tape because that's what's familiar. Right?

[Jake Johnson]

How did you do it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, my name is Gabriel. I'm 37 years old. I live in Fullerton, California.

[Jake Johnson]

I realized we posted on our Instagram.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And we. And it's on the show right now.

[Jake Johnson]

And so I understand what you're saying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, yeah, we post on our Instagram and we say. Or we could just. We release this episode and we say email the show. The subject is friend for Gabriel.

[Jake Johnson]

If you're near the Fullerton area.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you're in the Fullerton area, you're a fellow dad. You're not a dad.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but you have some of the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Lights that Gabriel's about to sign off.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you think, Gabe?

[Stone]

So this is like, blasting my message to, like, everybody in Fullerton, basically, or.

[Jake Johnson]

No, no, no, no, no. Hold on, Gabriel. We don't have a link to Fullerton.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. We're not going to drive around with a speaker on the car.

[Jake Johnson]

But by calling into your show, you are currently blasting your problem to everybody who's listening in. So we're just.

[Stone]

Yeah, but I was just wondering, like, what would that. What would the. Like, what account, like, would it be from?

[Jake Johnson]

It would be from ours. It be from the. We're here to help Instagram.

[Stone]

Oh, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And then people would write to us, and we would then do a follow up with you and them where we basically see if you guys want to continue this friendship.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We are trying. We are manufacturing a friendship. Friendship.

[Stone]

Well, this is not. That's. I mean, that's. Yeah, I'm open to that. That's cool.

[Jake Johnson]

That's not the thing you were thinking about.

[Stone]

You guys were gonna go in. To be honest. I mean, I thought you guys were gonna. I mean, not. I think that sounds better, actually sounds easier. But I thought you guys were gonna, like, coach me on how to, like, they, you know, have conversations with people and. But you're right. I mean, like, I think that's.

[Alex]

That's.

[Stone]

That's awkward. Well, kind of like those are the situation.

[Jake Johnson]

But we can maybe do the coaching when we have the Dating Game thing. But we don't know how you are with people yet, so we can.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I mean, look, part of it, I think you're running up against the thing that's. Part of it is that you're not in the position where you're able to make these friends easily. We're basically saying we're Going to leapfrog you to the end of this little race.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that's exactly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we want you to cross the finish line and feel just as good about it. But you know what, we could sit here role playing and go, no, Gabriel, you know, talk about golf a little bit better. We could say, go to the golf course and, you know, go to the driving range and start hitting on some dads for friendship. We could do that. But we can also right now just vet this system a little bit and just say your name's Gabriel. You have a young kid. You like to play video games. You like to golf. Hey, look, are there any other dads of the Fullerton area? We're putting up the Gabe signal in the sky saying, do you want to be friends with this guy? If you do, let's do a little friend hang and see what happens. Happens.

[Jake Johnson]

What if you're just looking for a golf buddy and you go, hey, I'm Gabriel. I live in Floridan. I've got. I'm 37 years old. I've got a two year old son just looking for a golf buddy in the area. My other golf buddies don't live near me. If you are a golfer and look into golf with me and is there a course you like to play golf at?

[Stone]

Yeah, Bur Hill's Br Say, looking to.

[Jake Johnson]

Play golf at Bur Hill. If you're near it, we could meet there for a round of golf. Let me know if you're interested. Yeah, just looking to play some golf with a buddy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got one more pitch.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why don't we say my name's Gabriel. I've been chosen to be. We're here to the podcast. We're here to help golfer of the year. I just need one person to play golf with at Bur and Bray.

[Jake Johnson]

Only rule is you need to have a kid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Yes. And so father golf out.

[Jake Johnson]

Like, what if we. What if we do it g. And we do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. And so what's the name?

[Stone]

Oh, yeah, that's great.

[Jake Johnson]

Gabriel, what's the name of the golf course?

[Stone]

It's a Birch Hills golf course.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Golf course.

[Jake Johnson]

Birch Hills.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In.

[Jake Johnson]

In where br. We are now setting this up. There is a winner of the contest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

And it's for a father. It's. But we're not giving them anything. This is just to play with the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, but it's.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's just see what happen. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. All right. All right, here we go.

[Jake Johnson]

Three, one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, Gareth Reynolds here.

[Jake Johnson]

Jake Johnson here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, we're from. We're Here to help the podcast, we have a unique.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, sorry, let's take it over. I jumped on you. Three, two, one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, Gareth Reynolds here.

[Jake Johnson]

And Jake Johnson from the podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're here to help.

[Jake Johnson]

We have a unique opportunity for fathers in the Fullerton area who like golf.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Boy, do we. Jake, we are very excited because we've picked one person to go golfing at Birch Hills and Brea, but we're looking for one other.

[Jake Johnson]

We're looking. Yes, we're looking for a. A partner to our friend Gabriel. Gabriel, how old are you? Do you have kids and we know you like golf.

[Stone]

Yeah, I'm 37 and I have a.

[Jake Johnson]

Two year old kid that a boy. So what we're looking for now is if you are a father in the Fullerton area and you would like to play golf with Gabriel, Email the show. We can only select one, maybe two tops.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So give us the subject. Go golf partner and email helpfulpodmail.com. we're very excited about this.

[Jake Johnson]

Thanks so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great. All right. I mean I think we're going to get some submissions. I think we can link these dots. Jake, thoughts?

[Jake Johnson]

Great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, Gabriel.

[Stone]

Yeah, that sounds good. I mean we could even do. We could even do. I mean one other person you could do. Do. We can do a force and we could do three.

[Jake Johnson]

That's exactly right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, here's the thing and if we have an overwhelming response, we will then suggest that we do a foursome of you guys.

[Jake Johnson]

What we'll do is when we have people in, we'll bring them on the show and you guys can meet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. We'll have a little chat and then we'll set it all up for you.

[Jake Johnson]

And if you want coaching before we can do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely. Yep. We could do a pre session.

[Stone]

I love some coaching. That's amazing. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. The real life movie hit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know what the hell's going on, but when you go. But remember when you're out there golfing, you're on your own. We're not going to have a little earpiece in your ear or something like that.

[Jake Johnson]

We might.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, maybe we will. Sure.

[Jake Johnson]

We're not above it might be the movie Roxanne.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about this? We fly Berg out to go undercover as one of the people so he can kind of coach him silently.

[Jake Johnson]

Remember Berg had an idea for a show called Looking for a Friend?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Should be an amazing episode.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, do you remember when Berg had the idea for a show called Murder He Wrote and it was just him doing Murder She Wrote. But as Him.

[Jake Johnson]

Gabriel, thank you for the call. We will follow up with you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thanks, buddy. All right.

[Stone]

Yeah, sounds good. Thank you so much, guys. You guys are hilarious. I'm a huge fan of the show, obviously.

[Jake Johnson]

We appreciate you, brother. Thank you.

[Stone]

Bye.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great.

[Jake Johnson]

That worked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, great.

[Stone]

There's an intramural golf league at that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Golf course that he could easily just join. Natalie, why are you telling us now? Natalie, Natalie, Natalie, I'm going to murder.

[Jake Johnson]

You next time we're in person.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Natalie, Natalie, you know what? What did you see us dying? Natalie, we're doing an intervention next. We're doing an intro, and it's an intervention intro. It's called an introvention, and we're doing that next intro.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, I agree, actually.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, you don't.

[Jake Johnson]

After the call, tell us a bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bring it in. We'll see what happens. It's too quick, you guys. You're making not.

[Jake Johnson]

That's a followup.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We get a followup.

[Jake Johnson]

We were dying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We could dress him. We can do a whole thing.

[Jake Johnson]

We could have dressed him. Is totally right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We could dress him.

[Jake Johnson]

We could have coached him. We could have dressed him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dressed him him.

[Jake Johnson]

We could have told him how to act. Then he could have gone and called us how it went.

[Clinton]

But, yeah, it's a great.

[Jake Johnson]

Instead, we're doing a dating show. We did the weirdest version.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We still have our intro. We still have a great intro.

[Jake Johnson]

I know, but this is. We ended up. We made a weird dating Instagram.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know.

[Jake Johnson]

We had a solution, Natalie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We did.

[Jake Johnson]

Natalie, has all this actually include all this at the end of this call? Jesse. 100%. All this goes in. It's not an intro. It's not a. We'll do an intervention, too. But this has to be part of it, because the next thing we might have to do is bring him back and say, just go to the intramural thing. If people don't respond. So we do. For. You don't know this yet, Gabriel, but we do have another pitch coming, and it's called the NAT Attack Special. And the NAT Attack Special is after the call. She pitches. That's the NAT Attack.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's called the fifth quarter.

[Jake Johnson]

After the call. Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Other pitches, I send them to Jesse, who usually. Why did you send them to Jesse? All right, Jesse, from now on, if she does that, it's on. It's part of your oath. You have to jump in and say, she just texted you a pitch. All right, thank you. I said, take it out of the chat. She said, no, I'm not doing.

[Stone]

Doing that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We need what we need next. Yeah, Next we're going to treat it like Natalie's called the show. And we're going to give her advice on how to be on the show. Great. I think that's exactly great female energy. It's helpful. Look at us. We're like the same guy. One's just drunk or sometimes and it flops who it is.

[Alex]

All right, well, Jake, you had to go.

[Jake Johnson]

I gotta go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I gotta go.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, thank you, guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello.

[Stone]

Hi.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi. How's it going?

[Stone]

It's going good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great. Welcome to. We're here to help. Can we, can we get your name, age, what's happening?

[Stone]

My Name's Stone. I'm 28. I'm calling from Virginia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Beauty.

[Jake Johnson]

Welcome, Gareth, quickly. How are you, friend?

[Stone]

I'm doing good. How are you?

[Jake Johnson]

Good. So, Gareth, you missed the Stone cold, but you're gonna love Stone. Col Stone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have you, the name is great.

[Jake Johnson]

Have you. You haven't heard this episode? No, I think it's worth listening because I think Stone might be a Connor for us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, that's good news. Sorry.

[Jake Johnson]

Stone, will you walk Gareth a little bit about what the first call was, what the problem was, what our solution is and where we are? And just feel free to talk a little bit so that Gareth can get a sense.

[Stone]

Yeah, of course.

[Jake Johnson]

First off, how you doing, baby? How you doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi, Stone.

[Stone]

Yeah. Yeah, I love, I, I, I'm love being here. It's great talking with you guys and I'm sorry I missed you. Gareth made me kind of sad, honestly. So I'm glad I get to, to hear you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Our time starts now.

[Stone]

All right, let's go. So I, I called in my friends, think I have a foot fetish. I don't have a foot fetish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is just a moment.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Stone]

Yes. Justin Long. Yeah. We came to the solution. Oh, they were making memes, editing photos of me.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, he claims he doesn't have a foot fetish, but Gareth, what he did was they were all playing a drinking game, like, and it was his. And he said, losers gotta, like, suck somebody's toes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Everyone was like, wow. And then we found out that, like, Stone's end of feet, okay, he's not.

[Stone]

The most, like, an appreciation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Stone, I'll. I'm sure we've already covered this, but the way you're talking is not helping your case that you don't have a fetish. I have an appreciation. It's like what a Somal says about wine.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, exactly. And then we decided to go around about everything. He likes and we created a chart of like, what's the most posts. And what we found is, is that feet are, I believe stone feet and face were the same. Oh, wow.

[Stone]

No, no, no, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Were they top? Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

No, Stone. What were. What were the pie charts again?

[Stone]

3.5 for both butt and boobs. 2. I think for a face or 2.5 maybe.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Stone]

And then it was 0.25 for both hair and feet.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Was this on a scale of one to five?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I did.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Anything hit a five?

[Jake Johnson]

No, it wasn't out of five. It was like a pie chart.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was separating out of 10 or something.

[Jake Johnson]

We did it like points on a movie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gotcha, Gotcha.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so Gareth, really quickly, out of a hundred points, where are feet for you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

If I have to give a number, you don't. But then I'll do none. Honestly, none. I mean, we had a woman call in and she had no toes and we've had to like put ourselves in this situ. And I was like, honestly, I don't think I care.

[Jake Johnson]

Same mine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do not think I'd care.

[Jake Johnson]

Mine would be a zero too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I really don't think it would matter.

[Jake Johnson]

And so Stone, they're up there. The reason your numbers got better, Stone, was, if you remember, at the end and we found that face was too low and so I helped fudge some numbers.

[Stone]

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

[Jake Johnson]

So feet are up there for the big guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure, that's fine.

[Jake Johnson]

So then we made a meme to his group of friends.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Cuz they had a meme where it was him holding a foot and it was Stone. You looked like a maniac. It looked like a psychopath stared at these feet. And it was something like. I. What was the meme again? What did it say? Stone?

[Stone]

Oh my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You guys want to see it?

[Stone]

It was just a picture of me looking at an ice cream cone.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, let's see.

[Stone]

They edited the ice cream cone to be a bucket of feet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh God.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's see it again. Obviously this will be reposted. It's also on the website. We're putting all the images there. Everybody chill out. They're all there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're just about to see this picture now. Oh, I saw this. Yeah. Yes, it's on. Well, it's a picture of Stone and he's got a tiny little bucket and he's holding a pair of feet. And expression does him no favors because he looks turned on aggressively. And the meme goes up top. I do not have a foot fetish and I did not throw up in There. And then below it, it says, you got to believe me.

[Jake Johnson]

So we made a meme in response.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Can we throw that up? And, Gareth, will you read it out loud and describe what you said?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely. So this is the rebuttal meme, which is. I'll be honest. Don't. But it's. It's. It feels evidentiary, just attacking the meme culture. But it says, stone's fetishes. Same picture I should point out. And now he's holding a pie chart that is as. As we described. The numbers are split. We've got 3.5 for butt, 3.5 for boobs, 2.5 for face, and then feet, hair sharing slivers of 0.25. And it says up top, Stones fetishes. I can't believe you even care about this, you weirdo. Jake. Jake wrote that. At the bottom it says, if you say I have a foot fetish, you're an idiot. And then at the bottom, it says, boom, lawyer.

[Jake Johnson]

So you sent this, by the way. This. It's a great response. So you sent this to the group, Stone.

[Stone]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And what's happened?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Stone]

So it's, I'd say, middle of the road.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Some people that didn't think that I.

[Stone]

Had a foot fetish think I have finished.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on, Gareth, what's your guess of what's going to happen?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm pleasantly surprised with what he said, because I think that is the move of someone who. It's like. It's like someone responding in Silence of the Lamb language. It's. It's. It's really a crazy response, Stone.

[Jake Johnson]

And seen it back. It's kind of a psycho's response.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a psycho response again. I love it.

[Jake Johnson]

When we pitched it and because.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because we might have led you the wrong road, this is what happens. We talk on this call for 40, 45 minutes. The language changes, the vibe shifts. We land somewhere, and then we hear it back and we go, what did we say?

[Jake Johnson]

I don't think we should have done that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. But anyway, it's a conversation starter, so. Go ahead, Stone.

[Stone]

So the person that made the meme, Kaylee, and you have a voice clip. I think of her.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, we do.

[Stone]

She. Yeah, yeah. She made the meme team and she settled. She doesn't think I have a foot fetish. However, there's other people, like some close friends that didn't think I had thought I had a foot fetish. But now, because they called into a podcast. Yeah, yeah, I'm protesting too much. They think they're Right now they think I do.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I would. I think I was too honest. I would be, Stone. I would be like them. I would now think you have had one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Listen to what he just said, though. Yeah, he just said they think I have a foot fetish because I was too honest. You have a little foot fetish. And my guy, that's okay, but what you're just doing.

[Jake Johnson]

He claims he does it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, buddy boy. Look. And it's fine. You got a little one, huh?

[Jake Johnson]

Define fetish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Defied fat. When you were aroused by the foot a little bit. You like the you on your list of important things, Foote has entered the conversation.

[Jake Johnson]

Stone thoughts, Stone thoughts. Honest ones. You're an honest guy. It's why we love you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Stone]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you think of that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Stone]

I mean, yeah. I mean, I'm okay with it, but hold on.

[Jake Johnson]

Can I ask you a question, Stone, for real?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Stone]

What's up?

[Jake Johnson]

We all have images flash before us while we're sexually aroused. Just the way the human brain works.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

You go. I wasn't expecting to think about that or that person, but here they are. How often are feet popping in, just floating through Stone's head in the heat of battle?

[Stone]

In the heat of battle, probably. Yeah, I guess.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Stone]

0.25. Often. I feel like.

[Jake Johnson]

Do. Do ever. They just float by on their own, like not attached to a body. You're. You're in it, man. You're in the battle, you're near the finish line, and all of a sudden just a pair of feet float by.

[Stone]

Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stone, look, I was gonna ask you more than 0.25. I was gonna ask you a couple questions because expect that answer.

[Jake Johnson]

I thought it was gonna be never.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You got a little bait. You got a little foot fetish, and that's fine.

[Jake Johnson]

Not even little. I think 2.5 is wrong, Stone.

[Stone]

I don't think it's like a Tarantino obsession.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I don't think it is either. I don't think it is either.

[Jake Johnson]

Black and white, my man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You live in a gray that. That almost black.

[Jake Johnson]

Almost black.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You don't have one of those. You don't have, by the way, his.

[Jake Johnson]

Last name ends in shirt and not the hoodie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, it's okay. We all got our little weird things. Something happened when you were a kid, so you know what I mean? Something happened somehow something imprinted on you at some point in your life. And here you are, a grown man, a fine member of society. You don't have a duffel Bag full of feet in your closet.

[Jake Johnson]

Am I right yet, Stone? So here's my question to you. Are you. This is a crazy follow up, but are you willing to admit you got a foot festival fetish? And don't do it if it ain't real, babe, because if you're not there in your heart, don't do it. Because we both know, we now all know, your group of friends.

[Stone]

Fetish is just such a dirty word. I don't know.

[Jake Johnson]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Attracted defeat.

[Jake Johnson]

So you attract defeat. You explain to us what's your deal with feet. Take away the word fetish. I don't know.

[Stone]

It's just like. It's just like. I don't know, they're there and they can be. Be attractive sometimes, I guess.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Jake Johnson]

But what do you think?

[Gareth Reynolds]

There are hands.

[Jake Johnson]

But what do you think about hands? Do a pair of hands ever float by your head in the heat of battle?

[Stone]

No. No.

[Jake Johnson]

How about kneecaps?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gross.

[Stone]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

No elbows.

[Stone]

Definitely not.

[Jake Johnson]

Stone, you got fetish. You like feet?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You like.

[Jake Johnson]

Definitely. Definitely. Shock.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're not Rex Ryan. Nobody's suggesting that you like Googling. Maybe you are. Who knows? But it's fine if you are.

[Stone]

Well, if you have. I have. And I don't know. I just don't. They don't do it for me. But sometimes in the heat of battle. Yeah, they do cross my mind as something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And. Stone.

[Stone]

Admiration.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stone, listen, you got two buddies here. Jake and I are your friends. And this is. This whole show is about being on your side. We fully support it. I've never been in the heat of battle and thought about feet. It's not that it's abnormal, but it's your thing.

[Stone]

Like, you're coping.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, Stone, do not. Come on now. We're buddies. We're. We're arm in arm here. We're pals. But don't you do this to me, Stone.

[Jake Johnson]

We're not going down the Gareth road. This is the Stone road.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So the way that you feel about elbows is the way that we feel about feet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Take it or leave it. Whatever. Doesn't matter.

[Jake Johnson]

So.

[Stone]

All right, I'll write that down. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Stone, here's my question to you. What has the responses been?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Stone]

Overwhelmingly positive. I mean, hilarious that this stupid little meme breached our little circle. And now in this, like, podcast. So everyone had a great time listening overall. But.

[Jake Johnson]

And you said there were some meme responses sent your way? Yeah. We want to see this.

[Stone]

I sent them to you guys.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Can we. Gareth and I have not seen them.

[Stone]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. Okay, G, we got Frank from Always Sunny, the great Danny DeVito when he can't remember the episode, but it's a great one. And his face is horribly bruised. And it says we got to definitely do a podcast about how I don't have a foot face.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, now let's go to the next one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. We got the same picture from before. This time, Stone is home holding a butt, and it says stones fetishes. We've got a final evolution. At the bottom, we've got butt that he's holding with the enamored face. 35%. Below it, we have a bust. 35% above it, we have a face which is 25% hair. 2.5. And at the bottom, we see some toes peeking out. 2.5.

[Jake Johnson]

That's a solid meme. It's the solid one that was also.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, the original meme maker.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a great one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a great. We got Salt bae, one of the world's great con artists. Salt baying over some loin and stones. Salt bay, arched arm with the salt coming out of it is feet, and the loin is labeled fetish pie. So he's salting the fetish pie with seasoning. Holy fuck. We got the Stone foot fetish spectrum, ADA recognized diagnostic tool. So we are seeing a spectrum. On one end, we have Stone, and on the other side, we have a daki Miyazaka. We have the garlic topping under Stone, and under Miyazaka, we have the sauce.

[Jake Johnson]

Because he kept mentioning the sauce.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, I'll go boobs.

[Jake Johnson]

And he would go, that's the sauce. All right, this is pretty great. All right, so, Stone, pretty wonderful. All that's obviously going to be on the website and the Instagram. You won't miss it. But, Stone, so where are you at? What's the feeling?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You guys want to really quickly hear the audio clips from his friends?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, of course. We'd love to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Clinton]

Hi, my name is Sadie. I'm one of the ladies from the aforementioned Vegas trip. So I can attest that, yes, we are allowed in there. And I just wanted to say that when Stone originally came up with this bit, we were so drunk in our friend's living room that I couldn't stand. And I thought it was the funniest thing I had ever heard in my life. And having heard this podcast now, I have to amend that and say that, in fact, this podcast segment that Stone did is the funniest thing that I have ever heard in my life. Stone, you lawyered up? What Good. And we have to concede defeat. You do not, indeed have a foot fetish. And I must admit, just once, for the record, while I have everybody, that I did not hook up with anybody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, hearing defeat probably turned to me. I always believed you. I always believed in you.

[Stone]

And I will always believe with you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You. We love you. And we love your 0.25 foot fetish.

[Jake Johnson]

Stone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This was me dying, laughing. Oh. I've updated the meme for you, and.

[Alex]

I'm happy to let this one lay to rest. I think we have our next big.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Meme to focus on the sauce. And also, guys, finally confirm, Stone did in fact throw up in there. I was in your corner to begin with, and then, like the podcast, you lost me for a little. And then you won me back so hard, like my lovely girlfriend. I never doubted you. I've known you longer than all these bozos, except the ones you've known since you were a kid, but they clearly don't know what's up. I love you, bud. You don't have a foot fetish.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a winning group of people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Winning.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is good.

[Jake Johnson]

Stone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm excited to hear the next chapter. I do have a pitch on a thing that already seems resolved. Jake, please, please. I think we lean in. I think we have now made our. We have now put our flag in the foot sands. Dare I say we get a little gold chain made? And the word in a little emblem we spell out Stone told. T O E L D. Huh? Like Stone Cold. Hello. Is this thing on?

[Jake Johnson]

I got an idea going.

[Stone]

Wow. I love that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ. That was a dinosaur.

[Stone]

That was one of my first domain names.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stone Cold.

[Stone]

My first website. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You know what I wonder that we could also do if we want, because obviously we're not going to make the necklace. We don't. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want to be very clear. That's going to be you on your time, not our budget.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, that was just. Gabriel wanted to do the pun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no. I wanted to do the pun, but now that it bombed so hard, I think I have to make the necklace.

[Jake Johnson]

I was literally. It was. I was just thinking about practically doing it, and I was thinking, how are we going to get a gold necklace?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was wondering, by the way, the.

[Jake Johnson]

Idea that you are doubling down, how.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are we going to get a gold.

[Jake Johnson]

And my head was like, we don't have a gold guy. We don't have a necklace guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got a gold guy.

[Jake Johnson]

But here's what I'm thinking. We could come up with a Piece of merch. We could talk to Leah about that. Just says, I don't have a foot fetish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or I have a foot fetish. Or it could just say 2.5% percent.

[Jake Johnson]

So stone. Or how about you do a pitch? If there was a shirt or a hat, what would that shirt or hat be to sum up where you are? Well, we don't want a lot of. You don't want a shirt that's too long. I made a shirt for my brother that had so much dialogue on it that it was a paragraph. And we realized too much dialogue. Dialogue. You got people reading his stomach. So you want, like, a line. My whole thing with my brother, because we found out we were Hungarian as older men because we didn't know what my dad was. And then when we found out he was, like, a Hungarian Jewish guy, we got really into being Hungarian. So we just started doing a lot of Hungarian pride. We both got Hungarian flowers. And then everything was how, of course we're Hungarian. So I made him a shirt about Hungarian pride that went on for so long about Hungarian stuff. And then my brother was like, too long. Shirt's not worth it. I just walked down the street, people are staring at my stomach, and I was like, mistake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Looks like a menu.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. It was disgusted. So we've got about a limestone. What would you wear to kind of sum up where you're at?

[Stone]

Where I'm at, huh?

[Jake Johnson]

And it's not celebrating you as a man, even though I think you deserve it. It's celebrating the fact that you called in and it's about foot fetishes and where you're at. And. And let me ask you, because your friends have now conceded to you, which means, ring the bell, we've won. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. But I got to be honest, it feels like a false win because I honestly, in my heart of hearts, think you have a foot fetish. I think you think fetish is an uglier word than I think.

[Stone]

Yeah, but if we just take the. The dirtiness out of that word, then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And so what could. What can you come to terms with? I'm sexually attracted to me, but I don't want to call it a fetish.

[Stone]

It's not a fetish. It's an appreciation. And then on the back of the shirt, it says, oobs are the sauce.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, look, this is what's great.

[Jake Johnson]

What it was. What was that? What was that line? Really fast to get carried.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Say the first line.

[Jake Johnson]

It's not. It's not A fetish.

[Stone]

It's not a fetish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's an appreciation. And then on the back it says boobs are the sauce. What's great about that is that I we could pitch what the shirt should be for a day. I'm literally. What you just did was you spoke from the heart. You included some of your catchphrases and I think it's perfect.

[Jake Johnson]

I do too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I'll be honest in this call, guys, the show is the sauce, you're the foot.

[Stone]

A. Thanks.

[Jake Johnson]

I would also maybe say that you might be the sauce because the sauce is better than the foot. We might be the foot. And you have a little bit of thing with those now, but you're the sauce. Let's do this. Stone, you want to hang out with us and do a follow up with us? You're going to be very confused, but I think it'd be fun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Stone]

Yeah, sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That means stay on the line now.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, so just stay on. Don't hang up. We'll walk you through it. And most likely the person has heard the last episode. Episode, they'll know you too. So everybody, this is the end of this episode. We're about to do a new one. Goodbye. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod gmail.com. and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] to see our entire catalog.

[Stone]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis. Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike. Animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only. And all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, I'm Tony Hale. I'm Matt Oberg.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I'm Kristen Shaw.

[Jake Johnson]

And we're going to be hosting the new podcast the Extraordinarians, where we are going to be interviewing extraordinary people doing extraordinary things. Things that we have never and probably will never do. We talk to people who have broken records on slacklines suspended by hot air balloons. We're talking to people who have done multiple flips on trampolines. You'll have to tune in to find out how many flips they did.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Subscribe to Extraordinarians on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Pocket Cast, or wherever you get your podcast and watch videos.

[Jake Johnson]

God in 3 on the YouTube.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's new episodes that we we release it every Wednesday.

[Jake Johnson]

We do. I've never seen you cry before. I know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know.

[Jake Johnson]

This is upsetting for all of us. They don't let us break for lunch. They do the podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's so competitive. They make you just talk. Guys, we're watching a spin out. Please subscribe.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Extraordinarians.

[Jake Johnson]

All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com heretohelpod.