Podcast Summary: We're Here to Help
Episode 169: A Horse in a Dog's Body & So Much Utah (with Chloe Fineman)
Release Date: May 7, 2025

Hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds, Episode 169 of "We're Here to Help" features special guest Chloe Fineman, bringing her unique comedic insight to tackle listeners' dilemmas ranging from troublesome neighbors to overzealous public displays of affection.

1. Introduction and Guest Appearance (00:00 - 11:10)

The episode kicks off with Jake and Gareth engaging in their signature banter, briefly mentioning the new McCrispy Strip and conducting an audience survey to better understand their listeners. Shortly after, Chloe Fineman joins the conversation, introducing herself and setting the stage for her role in the episode.

Notable Quote:

• Jake Johnson: "She just didn't know that was her skill set. Really?" [10:42]

2. First Listener Call: Rusty's Backyard Dilemma (17:08 - 46:37)

Caller Profile:

• Name: Rusty (Zach)
• Location: Indianapolis
• Age: 25
• Issue: Rusty and his girlfriend recently purchased their first home. They’ve encountered an issue where a neighbor's large dog frequently enters their fenced backyard, defecating without cleaning up. Despite having a Shiba Inu, Rusty's puppy, the neighbor's larger dog causes inconvenience and mess.

Discussion Points:

• Identifying the Problem: Rusty explains the recurring invasion by the neighbor's dog, highlighting the frustration of dealing with unattended pet waste.

• Advice and Solutions:

  • Chloe Fineman's Suggestions:

    • Fart Machine: "Like a machine that emits a loud alarming sound." [27:38]
    • Scarecrow Idea: "Create something in the yard that scares the doodle." [30:27]
    • Surveillance Enhancements: Installing sensor lights or floodlights to deter the dog during typical visiting hours.

  • Jake and Gareth's Additional Pitches:

    • Karma-Based Approach: "Pick up one of the doodles, big shits, rub it all over the handle of the fence." [40:10]
    • Whistle Strategy: "Have whistles on the gate that make noise when accessed." [66:07]

Notable Quotes:

• Chloe Fineman: "I like a horn. Like, if you could like a fart Machine or something." [27:38]
• Jake Johnson: "You don't want to piss off the neighborhood before you get in there on the up and up." [32:00]
• Rusty (Zach): "I'm thinking, you know, maybe bag them all up, all the poop, put it at the gate." [42:38]

Conclusion: Rusty decides to implement a combination of Chloe's spray bottle suggestion and Jake's fart machine idea, aiming to make the backyard less inviting for the neighbor's dog without appearing confrontational to maintain neighborhood harmony.

3. Second Listener Call: Zach's Sister's Over-the-Top PDA (52:07 - 68:21)

Caller Profile:

• Name: Rusty Scram (Zach)
• Location: Utah
• Age: Upper Mid-20s
• Issue: Zach is frustrated with his sister Mackenzie's excessive public displays of affection (PDA) with her boyfriend, whom the family finds overbearing and somewhat inappropriate.

Discussion Points:

• Describing the Issue: Zach recounts instances where his sister and her boyfriend engage in intimate behavior in front of the family, making others uncomfortable.

• Advice and Solutions:

  • Chloe Fineman's Suggestions:

    • Spray Bottle Intervention: "If they kiss, I'd squirt them." [57:02]
    • Loud Porn Music: Play exaggerated, awkward music to disrupt their PDA moments.

  • Jake and Gareth's Additional Pitches:

    • Signs and Visual Cues: Posting signs that humorously chastise the behavior, such as "Caught you, bitch."
    • Whistle Strategy Revisited: Implementing whistles to interrupt intimate moments.

Notable Quotes:

• Jake Johnson: "How would you break it up?" [53:38]
• Chloe Fineman: "I would just do it. If they kiss, I'd squirt them." [57:02]
• Zach: "Sometimes, like, literally at Christmas, they, like, went under a blanket in the middle of the living room." [56:07]

Conclusion: Zach gravitates towards the spray bottle tactic, valuing its simplicity and effectiveness without escalating tensions. The hosts encourage Zach to assertively communicate his discomfort to his sister and consider setting boundaries to manage her PDA.

4. Additional Segments and Interactions (11:10 - 52:07; 68:21 - 70:33)

The episode weaves in humorous interactions among the hosts and Chloe Fineman, including anecdotes about pets, personal experiences with technology mishaps, and light-hearted advice unrelated to caller problems. Notably, Chloe shares stories from her own life that mirror the callers' issues, adding depth and relatability to the discussions.

Notable Quotes:

• Chloe Fineman: "It's like a horse in a dog's body. God, that's horrible." [26:08]
• Jake Johnson: "Don't say I was gonna make him go." [09:38]
• Gareth Reynolds: "I worry, per Zach's earlier point, that we're trying to keep our reputation in the neighborhood before we get in there on the up and up." [31:53]

Sponsor Segments: Throughout the episode, Jake and Gareth intermittently promote sponsors like Skylight Calendars and Angry Orchard, integrating these mentions seamlessly into their conversations.

5. Closing Remarks and Future Announcements (70:07 - 70:33)

As the episode wraps up, Jake and Gareth introduce their new podcast, "Extraordinarians," teasing upcoming interviews with remarkable individuals. They encourage listeners to subscribe and stay tuned for future content.

Notable Quote:

• Jake Johnson: "Things that we have never and probably will never do. We talked to people who have broken records on slack lines..." [69:25]

Overall Insights:

• The episode effectively balances comedic elements with genuine advice, leveraging Chloe Fineman’s humor to address serious listener issues.
• Solutions range from practical to creative, emphasizing maintaining interpersonal relationships while setting boundaries.
• The hosts’ chemistry and interaction with their guest enrich the listening experience, making complex problems approachable and entertaining.

Final Thoughts: For listeners facing similar challenges—be it dealing with invasive neighbors or managing family dynamics—Episode 169 offers a blend of humor and actionable advice, all delivered with the hosts' characteristic wit and the added flair of Chloe Fineman's comedic expertise.