171: Walk This Lonely Dream & Shake Your Little Butts (with Jillian Bell)

Summary

Podcast Summary: We're Here to Help – Episode 171: Walk This Lonely Dream & Shake Your Little Butts (with Jillian Bell)

Release Date: May 14, 2025
Hosts: Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds
Guest: Jillian Bell

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Introduction to the Episode

In Episode 171 of "We're Here to Help," hosts Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds dive into a blend of heartfelt advice and humorous banter, featuring a special guest appearance by comedian and actress Jillian Bell. The episode interweaves personal anecdotes, listener call-ins, and creative problem-solving, all while maintaining the show's signature lighthearted tone.

Listener Call-In: Campbell's Wedding Dance Dilemma (02:00 – 45:16)

The episode kicks off with a listener named Campbell calling in from Nashville with a unique predicament surrounding her upcoming wedding in June. Campbell shares that her father and her fiancé's mother have expressed discomfort with traditional father-daughter and mother-son dances. Instead, her father envisions an elaborate, choreographed routine featuring a mashup of five unconventional songs, including Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams."

Notable Quotes:

• Jake Johnson (16:11): "That is what he wants it to be."
• Gareth Reynolds (17:12): "I come out like the undertaker from the floor of the banquet hall."

Discussion Highlights:

• Jake and Gareth empathize with Campbell, acknowledging the challenge of balancing tradition with her father's creative vision.
• Jillian Bell (through Rob) contributes by highlighting the importance of honoring familial relationships while maintaining the couple's unique bond.
• Rob Hollis offers constructive pitches, suggesting a hybrid approach that blends sweet, traditional elements with playful, choreographed moments to satisfy both Campbell and her father's desires.

Advice Given: Jake and Gareth recommend blending heartfelt acknowledgments with the father's whimsical ideas, proposing speeches that express love and gratitude before transitioning into the dance. They emphasize the importance of embracing both the emotional and humorous aspects of the situation to create a memorable and meaningful experience.

Special Guest Segment: Jillian Bell Promotes "Summer of 69" (45:16 – 48:19)

Jillian Bell takes the stage to discuss her directorial debut, "Summer of 69," set to release on Hulu on May 9th. The film stars Chloe Finan as a sexually inexperienced teenager seeking guidance from a local stripper to win over her crush. Jake and Gareth enthusiastically promote the movie, praising both Jillian's humor and Chloe's performance.

Notable Quotes:

• Jillian Bell (46:17): "It's so, so fun and feel-good and a little heartwarming."

Listener Call-In: Caitlin's Deuce Dance Challenge (48:19 – 66:12)

Following the promotion, Jillian Bell joins the hosts to take another listener call from Caitlin, a 27-year-old from New York City. Caitlin explains a quirky issue: during tennis matches, she has a tradition called the "Deuce Dance" to break the tension when the score is tied at deuce. However, her partner, Luke, has stopped participating, leading to tension between them.

Notable Quotes:

• Jillian Bell (48:04): "So my specific question is, like, how to get him to want to do the Deuce dance again."
• Jake Johnson (60:55): "If you're going to do something fun when you were a kid...you know what it is."

Discussion Highlights:

• Jake, Gareth, and Jillian delve into the significance of the Deuce Dance for Caitlin, exploring its role in fostering connection and alleviating match-related stress.
• Rob Hollis suggests practical solutions, such as introducing symbolic gestures (like wristbands or shirts) that signal when Caitlin engages in the dance without pressuring Luke.
• Gareth Reynolds adds creative ideas, including personalized merchandise that makes participating in the dance a lighthearted and inclusive activity.

Advice Given: The hosts advocate for open communication and compromise. They encourage Caitlin to present Luke with various options that respect his comfort levels while still honoring her traditions. By making the dance a shared and fun experience rather than an obligation, they believe Caitlin and Luke can reignite the playful aspect of their relationship.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts (66:12 – End)

As the episode wraps up, Jake and Gareth reiterate their appreciation for Campbell and Caitlin's calls, emphasizing the show's mission to provide thoughtful and entertaining advice. They invite more listeners to submit their questions via email and promote their Patreon page for video episodes.

Closing Remarks:

• Jake Johnson (66:12): "We’re here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@[e-mail]."
• Gareth Reynolds (66:36): "Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions."

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Key Takeaways:

• Balancing Tradition with Personalization: Campbell's call underscores the importance of blending familial expectations with personal desires to create meaningful and memorable wedding experiences.
• Communication and Compromise in Relationships: Caitlin's scenario highlights how open dialogue and creative solutions can address relationship challenges, fostering mutual respect and shared traditions.
• Community and Support: The episode exemplifies the show's commitment to building a supportive community where listeners feel heard and guided, even through unconventional issues.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Jake Johnson (16:11): "That is what he wants it to be."
• Jillian Bell (46:17): "It's so, so fun and feel-good and a little heartwarming."
• Jillian Bell (48:04): "So my specific question is, like, how to get him to want to do the Deuce dance again."
• Jake Johnson (66:12): "We’re here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds."

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This episode of "We're Here to Help" masterfully combines humor, empathy, and practical advice, making it a valuable listen for anyone navigating the complexities of personal relationships and family dynamics. Whether you're planning a wedding or seeking to rekindle playful traditions in your partnership, Jake, Gareth, and Jillian offer insights that are both entertaining and actionable.

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Gemini.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Jake. It is to us. Gemini was an American gladiator, but not to the kids of today. We're talking exams, essays. This is stressful stuff. We went through it. We were on our own.

[Jake Johnson]

But Gemini is offering something really great for college students. So if you are a listener of We're Here to Help, and if you want a little extra help, you. Gemini Advanced is now free for college students in the United States of America. Sign up before June 30th and you'll get free access all the way through Spring Finals 2026. So, Gareth, when you use Gemini, which we both use, what do you use it for and what do you like about it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's sometimes, like, if there's a topic that I think I want to do stand up on or if there's sometimes, like, if I'm writing something for my. Their show. It's just like a way to kind of have something info. It just gives you all the information and right away you go, oh, okay, now I actually get this. Now I can personalize it.

[Jake Johnson]

Visit Gemini Google slash students to learn more Terms apply.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we are back. I have a couple things.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want to talk about during this intro. I have an agenda for this one. And it's a good thing Rob's here too, because I don't know if this is Rob related.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But my mother. Okay, so long story short, I got stuff too. Stop it. Long story short. Actually, this is the worst thing. I have two things, so don't.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get two in the weeds in this. We sent my mother something from the show.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, right. Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My mother likes her neck fan because my mother gets red face and she likes to have a fan stop. To cool herself down. Stop.

[Jake Johnson]

Did we ever air that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I don't think we did.

[Jake Johnson]

This is what it says every package notification. Dear customer, we regret to inform you that your package should not be delivered due to missing or damaged address information. Again, timely delivery. Please follow the link below. Don't open it. Don't click that link. Okay. No. But then he goes on to say, please reply why? Then exit this SMS and open it again and actually just ignore it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, yes. Just ignore it. Never click it again. Never order from this place again.

[Jake Johnson]

What kind of neck fan do you want? To send you one. That's very good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You won't be. You'll have to open a UK Amazon account. It's a nightmare.

[Jake Johnson]

It's a nightmare. Okay, so I can't.

[Jillian Bell]

I called.

[Rob]

I'VE got Amazon account.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's just do it. And then, Rob, we'll just send you a neck. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What neck fan did you. I just want a matching neck fan.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, I don't know. It was just a nice one that. That seemed to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It fits around her neck. It's got dual fans, good charge.

[Jake Johnson]

That's around her neck. It's like. Yes, yes. It's like a fan necklace. That's what you want.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like a shawl, but a fan, if you know what I'm saying. It like fits over.

[Jake Johnson]

You just walk around the house with a fan around your neck.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's right.

[Jake Johnson]

Like a fan.

[Rob]

Like a cooling device.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Battery powered, well charged, rechargeable.

[Jake Johnson]

Pam, this is what you're looking for. Cause we could help you with this. Can I pitch on the. Can you hear me? We're here to help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right. Exactly what I'm saying. But she got it and she loved it.

[Jake Johnson]

Great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She was very happy. She was very thankful. Wanted to thank everybody.

[Jake Johnson]

Sweet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But then something else showed up in the mail.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't know about this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I had a feeling you didn't. And I had a feeling it was from Rob because Rob got her.

[Jake Johnson]

I did not know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And by the way, this. She told me what it was, and I go, what? And she's like, did you send it? And I go, no. And I got kind of freaked out for a minute, but then I was like, well, no, obviously I was like, this had to be Robert. Jake. And the more I thought about it, the more I was like, there's no way this is Jake. So I should point out, in the lower part of my mother's house, there's like a bathroom, like in, like a shed, basically. And in there, she hangs my first headshot. And it's embarrassing and it's a nightmare. Anyway, she gets this in the mail and she's like, I'm thinking of putting it in the toilet with your head shot. And this is what showed up to her place.

[Jake Johnson]

Wait, actually, I did know about this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You did? I mean, do you want to explain what this is?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, I did know. We were texting about it, but I forgot about it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's insane.

[Jake Johnson]

So it's a photo of me and Tom Cruise from the mummy that Rob found online and said, should I send this to pa? So what did you actually send her?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This. This is it a picture of you.

[Jake Johnson]

And Tom Cruise and she's gonna hang it in her bathroom?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Right next to your first headshot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The only picture that's in there Amazing was my headshot. It's awful.

[Jake Johnson]

Amazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And now it's gonna be this as well. It is a huge victory, but nice, Rob.

[Jake Johnson]

Well done.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The second thing is I was gifted something at a show recently.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And, Jesse, can you bring it over? Because it was actually my jaw dropped when I was given this.

[Jake Johnson]

Excited.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a reference to the show. I like that. Jesse was like, it needs to be in another cabinet. Yeah, why don't. Well, yeah, I'll let you open it.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So someone at a show brings this. And I look up and I'm like, what the f? And I go, it's just like, him. Open it.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why don't you explain what it is?

[Jake Johnson]

This is from the caller, and I'll put it to this. Yeah. Big Fat Baby and Ginger Picnic. The doll behind the glass.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The haunted glass dolls.

[Jake Johnson]

These are the actual ones.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I'm like, they look just like them. And she goes, they are them. That was me calling in.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I was dollstruck.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a big deal for the show. Do you want these?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, do you want yours? Should we hang them somewhere?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you want both? Take both? Go do jiu jitsu with them in the little.

[Jake Johnson]

No, I love these.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love them for you. I love them for your background.

[Jake Johnson]

These will be in my background, but also, whenever I finish an acting job, I take one thing from set. Always. So every gig I've ever had, no matter what, whenever this ends, this will be with me. Until this. My kids will go like. Because this is Fat baby, aren't they? What is it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ginger Picnic. Aren't they?

[Jake Johnson]

This is us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is us. Amazing.

[Jake Johnson]

Especially today, guys, what I want everyone to think of when you watch this. Will you hold it up, Gareth? This is how we see each other. I know sometimes you think we're mean to each other. This is who we. I think is doing the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Agreed.

[Jake Johnson]

It's just these two people decided to do a podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Agree more. That you are a dirty, scummy little baby fighting for every morsel. And that I am a sad little ginger.

[Jake Johnson]

A little.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Little ginger princess. His feelings are precious.

[Jake Johnson]

It's perfect. And I. This is the kid who's going like, I want more rock in my suitcase.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like it. I don't need teeth to win.

[Jake Johnson]

I like the rocks because I ain't got no teeth. Incredible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it's a prop. Heavy intro, but.

[Jake Johnson]

But this will go on socials. Oh, yeah, on the website.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was just. It was astounding. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So she opened that out of the wall because this was put up there because her boyfriend.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They were enclosed, and she brought them to a show in, I think, Maryland.

[Jake Johnson]

These will be in the. The BG of all of them, please. Absolutely incredible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I forget her name. I don't know if she gave it to me. But thank you for giving us.

[Jake Johnson]

Now, really quickly, should we tie this to Jillian and use this for her intro or not?

[Rob]

Sure.

[Jake Johnson]

I was asking Natalie. That's why I used a louder voice. Didn't expect you to yell. Sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's ring the bell again, huh? That's always fun.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a ring the bell.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And the photo to your mom. Ring the bell.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. There we go.

[Jake Johnson]

You've killed it with things today. So we have a special guest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. The great Jillian Bell.

[Jake Johnson]

So funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The best. I'm not on the calls as much as I'd like to be.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Your Internet broke off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Internet broke, but. But Jillian is the best. And she stepped in. She stepped up, as always.

[Jake Johnson]

It was great. And what we want to tell you guys or ask you guys all to do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Is May 9th.

[Gareth Reynolds]

May 9th.

[Jake Johnson]

On Hulu.

[Gareth Reynolds]

On Hulu.

[Jake Johnson]

She has directed her first feature.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Starring Chloe Finan. And there's a ton of people in that you're going to be fans of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It's called summer of 69.

[Jake Johnson]

Summer of 69. But everybody, if you have Hulu, click on it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Because all those views matter. And we want Jillian to win big.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

We want everyone to watch so that she can direct more and truly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because she's a winner. She's a winner. Like, we've both worked with her before. She is one of the funniest people ever. And she's also one of the nicest, sweetest people.

[Jake Johnson]

So she is one. We all want to win big. So do us a favor. If you like this show, if you're a fan of the show, spread the word. Tell everyone to watch summer of 69. Let's blow it up for Jillian. She's a friend of the show, and she's just the best. And wouldn't it be nice in Hollywood if she became a hotshot director? And, yeah, more people like her were winning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And she's putting her friends and stuff. No, she is the fucking best. I know. How did I do that? Don't. No.

[Jake Johnson]

Picnic. Because maybe she could put me in it after my mommy says I'm wonderful at skipping. Look at me. Look at me. I skipped.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We should point out that Ginger picnic is holding a little robe.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey. Hey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I ate my own Leg.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, you. Come here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I ate my own leg to teach myself a lesson about meat.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, hey, hey. Can I wear that dress of yours? I'll give you two nibbles.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We should do a podcast.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, fuck.

[Jake Johnson]

So everybody enjoy the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Without further ado.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by something that I have in my home, and that is Skylight Calendars. Skylight Calendar is basically your old school calendar made digital. It looks like a calendar. You see it like a calendar. It's not like the calendar's on your phone. You can visually see it in that old school way, which I love. But it can also put things on from your technology, which makes it easier. I bought one from my wife. She loved it. We talked about in the show and now they are sponsors. It's pretty full circle. Skylight Calendars. And I like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We are very happy to have this sponsor because Jake and I were talking just about how hard it is for us to keep our calendars straight. You know, whether you're someone who uses sticky notes or you just kind of get lost in your calendar. Skylight Calendar is here to keep your family organized. So right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 in calendars by going to skylight cal.com/here to help. Go to skylightcal.com here to help for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. That is S K-Y L I G H T C A L.com hereto help producer Sherlock here. Please note that due to an unstable Internet connection while recording, Gareth is in and out of this episode. Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey. Hi.

[Campbell]

Hi. How's it going?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi. Thank you. Really good. Thank you. Welcome to the show. Listen, we're gonna get right into it. You're welcome. Very polite. You have Jake, you have me, and you also have a returning champion guest helper, the great Gillian Bell.

[Rob]

Hello?

[Campbell]

No way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes way.

[Campbell]

No way.

[Rob]

Absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is getting solved. Yes.

[Campbell]

Wait, this is amazing. Okay. Perfect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. So what is your name?

[Campbell]

My name's Campbell.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Campbell. Where are you calling from, Campbell?

[Rob]

Love your soup.

[Campbell]

Hi. Thank you. Thank you. Yep. Make it myself. Panic myself. I am calling from Nashville. The Nashville area.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure. All right. Well, you're probably 32 would be my guess. You don't need to answer that. What's going on with what's going on today? What can we help going?

[Jake Johnson]

No. Personal info.

[Rob]

You. You just guess we're about to find.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Personal info, you know. All right, I'll. I'll be honest, Jillian. We've gone through this evolution where it started to be weird with the age. So now we're like. Well, we sometimes ask, we sometimes don't. So I thought I'd change it up. And just you knowing it, you're not young.

[Campbell]

Do you want me to confirm or deny?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, I do.

[Campbell]

25.

[Jake Johnson]

You're 25. Okay.

[Campbell]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Campbell Campbell, Nashville. 25. Quick question for you. You got. You got a soul animal? You know, like a spiritual guide? Yeah, spiritual guide. If you close your eyes and there's an animal protecting you, what's that animal? Mine's a silver back. Gareth, what's your soul animal? Yeah, Jillian, what's your soul animal?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mine's your silverback. I want yours.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, Gareth, he's also using my grill. But it will be tired. Jillian, what's yours?

[Rob]

A tired old bat.

[Jake Johnson]

One, two. Campbell, What? What is your soul animal that protects you in the darkness? Okay.

[Campbell]

Like my soul animal. I want it to be like, maybe like an owl.

[Jake Johnson]

Cool.

[Campbell]

Or like an eagle. Like some sort of bird.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. What is it?

[Campbell]

Okay, one of those two. Can it be both?

[Jake Johnson]

No. You said you wanted to. Now we're going to get to. We're going to start getting clear answers out of you, Campbell, and you're going to start Dr. In a direct way. What animal is it not? What animal is you want it to be?

[Campbell]

Okay, the animal that I actually think it is, in my heart of hearts, yes, unfortunately, is a monkey.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you for saying that. Now, Campbell, now that we're getting clear shots from you, what is your issue today?

[Campbell]

Okay, here I go. So I'm getting married. I'm get. Yeah.

[Jillian Bell]

Woo.

[Campbell]

I'm getting married in June. And I. It's great. It's gonna be awesome. It's wonderful. My fiance's awesome. His name is Reed. It's gonna be great. But we. Okay, so my dad for the father daughter dance and my fiance's mom for the mother son dance. They're like. They both have independently told us. They're like, we don't want to just stand there and, like, sway with you for three minutes, because that is awkward and weird.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Campbell]

And I'm like, okay, fair. Fair point.

[Jake Johnson]

They're right.

[Campbell]

But yeah. And I'm with them. Like, I hear. I hear that. However, my dad is so wonderful, so, so silly, so ridiculous, and wants to do, like, a choreographed routine, which people have been doing, but he wants it to be like a mashup of like, five insane songs. Like, insane songs for, like, a father daughter dance routine.

[Jake Johnson]

What are the songs?

[Campbell]

I. Okay, you guys, he wants to Open with Boulevard Broken Dreams. So I want you to picture this. This is. Yep. This is what he wants it to be.

[Jake Johnson]

Which I'm like, for a wedding camel. Quick for a second. Jillian, do you know what that song is?

[Rob]

Yeah, that's a Green Day. It's a Green Day song.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jillian, please. I've.

[Rob]

This Lonely road. Is it that one?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. Keep going. So he knows, and it is.

[Campbell]

Exactly. That is what he wants us to, like, walk out to. We come in. This is in his mind. We come in from different directions of the dance floor, and that part is playing. I walk a lonely road the only one that I have ever known. And then we're walking out to that. And then ideally, there's spotlights, obviously.

[Jake Johnson]

Fuck, yeah. So your dad's cool, by the way.

[Campbell]

Yeah, he's awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And money's not an option for him at this wedding.

[Jake Johnson]

He's also like, there's rockets. I come off a yacht. Yeah. He wants to be in the coolest music video of all time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I come out like the undertaker from the floor of the banquet hall.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Campbell]

So at first he was like. He loves the song Wide Awake by Katy Perry, where. But all he knows of of that song is just the part where it goes, I'm wide awake. That's all he knows.

[Rob]

I just love his musical taste. It is so like 2009, I'm guessing, such a specific time for pop music.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, you're not wrong on that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And it's very specific. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

He.

[Campbell]

He is just, like, wanting to choreograph this, like. Like, really intricate.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, hold on, hold on. So we start off Boulevard of Broken Dreams. I didn't know it, but the song that Jillian was saying, that's the lead in. You guys are walking in with spotlights. Yeah. Okay, then what?

[Campbell]

In his mind, Jake, this is important for you to. In his mind.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, yeah. First, I'm trying to live as your dad. I want to see the fantasy before we pitch on it, because right now, I gott say Campbell. And I know you're not going to like this. I'm on the fence. It might be a good idea.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm in.

[Jake Johnson]

Honestly, there's no budget. Gareth is in, Jillian's in. So we're not. We're gonna end on your side. I know we're gonna end on your side, but we gotta handle his vision.

[Rob]

Is Wide Awake next?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, that's what I'm trying to get.

[Campbell]

But Wide Awake, somehow it goes to, I'm on a bed and I am waking up to.

[Rob]

Wait, okay, okay, now. Now that it's becoming a production. Okay, so there's a bed there. So someone's bringing in a bed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Rob]

And you're then pretending to be asleep.

[Jake Johnson]

Stage managers wearing all black like they do on Broadway.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, cue bed. Cue the bed. All right, they're moving. Spotlights hang with them. Bed move. Bed on wheels.

[Jake Johnson]

Is that. Is that kind of what. So let me ask you a question before we hear the next thing.

[Campbell]

Campbell, I'm wide awake.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, then what happens then?

[Campbell]

I have no idea. But I do know the rest of the songs that he once included.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, great. That's enough. What's the third song?

[Campbell]

Okay, one of the songs he once included is you guys. It's by Enrique Iglesias. It is called I like how it feels.

[Jake Johnson]

Do you know how I Like how it feels Goes. Does anybody?

[Campbell]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

How does it go?

[Campbell]

I do.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, give us a taste.

[Campbell]

It starts off. It starts off and it goes. It's my time, it's my life I can do what I like for the price of a smile I gotta take it to rah and we can lift it and it turns into a dance.

[Jake Johnson]

And eventually you got a voice on you, kid. So that's pretty good.

[Rob]

That song makes me dance like a Muppet. You know what I mean? I'm in.

[Jake Johnson]

I liked it more than I thought.

[Campbell]

It's a great song. I just don't want to dance because also Pitbull. Pitbull. Pit bull gets involved.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, hold on, hold on, Campbell, don't jump to the end yet. Stop. We're not getting to your opinion.

[Rob]

Oh, great. No, he's featuring.

[Jake Johnson]

So then what is featuring?

[Campbell]

He just raps a little.

[Jake Johnson]

Give me a little taste. Give me a little taste.

[Rob]

Does he say Mr. Worldwide?

[Campbell]

What does he say? He does have a line in it where he goes, think of any part of the world. I've been there. And he also. He talks about global warming. He goes, you think I'm like global warming? Oh. He goes, I'm like global warming. You think I've just started, but I've been here.

[Jake Johnson]

Would your dad be Pitbull?

[Campbell]

I don't.

[Rob]

I. Yeah.

[Campbell]

You know what? If my dad was pit bull, this would maybe change my whole opinion on everything.

[Jake Johnson]

In a good way or bad way? Go ahead, Joann.

[Rob]

Can you imagine?

[Campbell]

In a great way.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Rob]

Can you imagine saying, think of a place I've been there. And someone just goes, zizix, California. And he goes, well, no, to be honest, I have not been there.

[Campbell]

Right, right. No chance. He's been everywhere.

[Jake Johnson]

That's impossible. He's been a lot of places because he's a touring musician, but he hasn't been everywhere. That's true.

[Campbell]

Well, he is Mr. Worldwide.

[Jake Johnson]

I agree.

[Rob]

Yes, you're right.

[Jake Johnson]

But the idea of dad being Pitbull in there could be cool. Now, what is the other song? So right now we got Boulevard of Broken. We got some Katy Perry. We got some. I like how it feels, Jillian. Go ahead.

[Rob]

I have one suggestion.

[Jake Johnson]

Is.

[Rob]

Is your dad naturally a bald man?

[Campbell]

He is very. Yeah. So bald.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, don't do that.

[Rob]

Because I was going to say there could be something fun if he has a wig on for the beginning and then takes that off to be Mr. Worldwide.

[Jake Johnson]

I totally agree.

[Campbell]

You guys. You guys, this is my problem. This is. This is. We're getting to the root of the problem, actually, because I. These things are so funny, and, like, these bits are so funny. And this is what I've done with my dad is we have just been, like, doing bits about, like, the most ridiculous things that could possibly happen. And I. I don't know when, but I was doing bits. And at some point, I think the bits turned real in his head.

[Jake Johnson]

I get it.

[Campbell]

And now he's like, no, this is actually happening at your reception.

[Jake Johnson]

So let me. Let me explain.

[Campbell]

Clearly. Ridiculous.

[Jake Johnson]

Let me explain why that's happened. And this is why I'm glad we got to this with you, where we just had to get to the meat and potatoes of this, because it is funny. It is ridiculous. But now it's getting a little bit scary. That's the nature of my life, and most likely Jillian's. All of this is a bit that hasn't stopped. I've got a weird man staring off to the side in my background that looks like a fisherman that I would love to not have in here anymore, but I need him with me at all times. This thing started off as a bit. Now it travels around with me. So you also have a little.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You also have a dummy in a shed that you play with like a doll.

[Rob]

I do need to know more about that eventually.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we can get it another call. No, no, wait.

[Rob]

So how does it end, Campbell? How does this all.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, well, we still got two more songs, I believe.

[Campbell]

Yeah, there's. There's more songs. One of them is payphone by Maroon 5.

[Rob]

Great.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on, Jillian. Give me a taste. I don't know.

[Rob]

I'm on up.

[Campbell]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

That doesn't sound like it's in your range. Yeah, yeah.

[Rob]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Excuse me, Jillian. I'll answer for you. Everything's in her Range.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you, manager.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I mean, look, she knows every song killing itself. Good lord.

[Jake Johnson]

So then pay for.

[Campbell]

I think she killed it.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Rob]

Is there going to be an actual.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm Simon Cowell on this show.

[Rob]

Is there going to be. You are actual payphone. Like, there's a bed.

[Campbell]

No, guys, we have no budget for this. Like, this is where the, like, the logistics of this is insane. Like, I'm like, he lives 12 hours away from me. You tell me when we're going to choreograph a routine.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, here's what I think this, this call is about. You correct me if I'm incorrect. Your dad wants to do a real weird unthought out five song structure with choreography that doesn't make sense. Lighting cues that are insane. Cut to unrealistic moments where you're hopping out of a bed with props and he wants somebody magically to put this all together and it's going to be a disaster. But he doesn't want to do any work until day of. And you're trying to plan a real wedding and your dad's going, oh, I got another song. I want to sex you up should play. And then. And you go like, what? And he goes, throw that in. Also anything by CNC Music Factory.

[Rob]

And you're like, this is all the wrong genre. It's all 2000.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm not great with names.

[Rob]

That's okay. That's okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Do you have references that are better?

[Campbell]

We all know the band Rush, but he would. I don't know if y' all know the band Rush, but he most definitely needs Rush in there.

[Rob]

There's two things I want to say real quick. One is I have a feeling, and this is a like clutch your pearls moment that your dad doesn't know.

[Campbell]

Wait, that was actually.

[Rob]

Oh, sorry.

[Campbell]

Sorry to cut you off, but you just reminded me that was the last song was I Got a Feeling by the Black Eyed Bees.

[Rob]

Oh, okay.

[Jake Johnson]

I have a feeling. How does that happen?

[Rob]

I got a feeling. Woo.

[Jake Johnson]

Keep going.

[Rob]

That tonight's gonna be a good night. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. That's a great ending.

[Rob]

Okay, well then maybe we're solved. Because I was saying I'm clutching my pearls because what if your dad doesn't want to find the final song because he doesn't want the process to be over because then it means he's given away his baby girl.

[Jake Johnson]

I think there's a lot of truth to that.

[Rob]

Okay, now here.

[Jake Johnson]

There's a lot of truth to that kid as your dad.

[Rob]

Here's the pitch there's the kind of fake one, but could be cool if it was real and then the real one. Okay, okay. So the kind of fake one, but I think it would be badass, is you guys do all the things you do. The Green Day, Wide Awake. Enrique, payphone. I Got a Feeling. And then by the time you get to the end of it, you pause, right? There's some kind of, like, record scratch. And then it goes in reverse. So you're doing the whole thing backwards. But now your fiance or new husband.

[Jake Johnson]

Terrible. This is terrible, dude.

[Rob]

Your new husband. You realize your new husband has always been right there next to you. So it's sort of a metaphor for Jesus.

[Jake Johnson]

Who can choreograph this? This. You better get Madonnas from back in the day who are excellent. Because if not, it's just gonna look like a bunch of weirdos going like this, like. And the audience, old, your grandma and your aunts are gonna go, what is happening?

[Rob]

Just re. Watch espentura and see what he did. He did it in reverse. Just do that. But your husband's been there the whole time, and we didn't know because you didn't see his footprints. It's a whole metaphor.

[Jake Johnson]

I'll tell you what's going to happen, Jillian. Afterwards, there's going to be a lot of. I didn't get it. I didn't get it.

[Rob]

That's why.

[Jake Johnson]

No, the rest of the wedding is going to go because he. Okay. What it meant was he was there the whole time, who was my husband. But why were you with your dad dancing? Weird. Because we were going back in time. But what do you mean you were going back in time? Because Reed was there the whole time. I don't get it. Anyway, enjoy the wedding.

[Rob]

That's why. That's why with GarageBand, you add a VO.

[Jake Johnson]

What's the VO sound like?

[Rob]

The VO is like. Like he's always been there. He's been there the whole time.

[Jake Johnson]

So it's just like a. It's like the voice of God is telling people the message of the dance.

[Rob]

Yeah, Okay, I told you this one is a 50, 50 shot.

[Jake Johnson]

I will say 50 50. I'll say 199.

[Rob]

Okay, here's the real answer. Here's the real answer. Okay, I think you do a very short version of this that is a minute long with very quick clips that doesn't include props with your father. And it's not on the day of the wedding. I think it's the night before it via video. It's like the night before at the rehearsal dinner.

[Jake Johnson]

It can't be the night before.

[Campbell]

Why?

[Jake Johnson]

You gotta shoot it. You gotta edit it. It's a lot of work.

[Rob]

No, no, no. A live video. Like a live or a live moment.

[Jake Johnson]

I got you. I got you. Okay. Yeah, okay. I got you.

[Rob]

That way it's not at your wedding. And then you guys on the day of do that very sweet thing where you and your husband pick the same song that you want to do the dance with your mom and father with. And half the song is you and your dad, and half the song is him with his mom. So it's not a full three minutes of just the same switch out.

[Jake Johnson]

Can I pitch on that? Campbell, are you ready to start hearing pitches?

[Campbell]

Yeah, yeah, I'm ready.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean.

[Rob]

I mean, she has been hearing a lot of really solid pitches, so I don't know.

[Jake Johnson]

Now she hasn't. If we're at a restaurant, these are weird bread and appetizer at this point, I said, I didn't come for that. It's not that kind of restaurant. Get it off the table.

[Campbell]

No, this is great. You guys keep going.

[Jake Johnson]

Whatever weird fish dish this is, get it off. I came to an Italian place. I want noodles.

[Rob]

You don't want loose shrimp. That's still a little gray, by the way.

[Jake Johnson]

Shrimp yesterday. And I saw the black line going through it.

[Rob]

That's the poop.

[Jake Johnson]

I know. But guess what I did? That is I was with my wife. We were having a lovely little date, and I saw it, and I got grossed out, and I go. He goes, saw what? Eat a little shrimp. And I ate it, and I thought, might barf. And then I thought, there's so much seasoning. Oh. Anyway, it's not about that taste of poop.

[Campbell]

But that doesn't mean it's not there.

[Jake Johnson]

You're not wrong. Here's my pitch. And I don't know if this is a real one, Campbell, but I'm just throwing it out because here's what I was thinking when Jillian was talking. I'm teasing her pitches, but they're good. There's to this, and we're close. I think what we're pitching is we pick the song that you pitch to your dad, but it's a song that honors your dad, your relationship, the fun of it, and the relationship. And here's what I'm going to pitch. Remember the woman who did Mrs. Gingerbread?

[Campbell]

Yeah, of course.

[Jake Johnson]

How could I? What if we reached out to her and asked her to write you guys an original Jillian, There's a woman who has a cat she wrote an original song about how much she loves her cat.

[Rob]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Her and her husband are musicians, and it's like, I love you, love you, love you. And people have been playing that at weddings.

[Rob]

Wow.

[Jake Johnson]

And dancing to it. So what if she wrote an original song in the vein of Mrs. Gingerbread about a father and a daughter that tied into these themes and you guys dance to an original.

[Campbell]

Okay. I actually like that. But I do have a question.

[Jake Johnson]

Of course. That's what this is about.

[Rob]

It's about, can you kiss your dad? Is that the question?

[Campbell]

No, no, no, no.

[Jake Johnson]

Jillian, pretend your Internet's bad, all right?

[Campbell]

No, my question is. The question is, can I. Can she sing it? Not in her cat voice.

[Jake Johnson]

Interesting. What would be your note if we were to ask her?

[Campbell]

Get this regular. If you write. If you write and sing a song, will you sing? Because I think she has a great voice, honestly. But I just don't want. I don't need the cat voice.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Campbell]

That's reserved for Mrs. Gingerbread.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that's exactly right. But if she were to do that and write a two minute song, would you dance to your dad with it?

[Campbell]

Probably. It just depends on, like.

[Jake Johnson]

It's gotta work. I agree. It's gotta work.

[Rob]

Okay. I wrote this song, so if you want me to sing it, I can sing it now.

[Jake Johnson]

All right. Campbell, will you close your eyes for a second and imagine dancing with Lance?

[Campbell]

Okay, I'm closing.

[Rob]

Okay, I can't read one of the words already.

[Jake Johnson]

Man, that happened fast.

[Rob]

Okay, got it, got it. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Close your eyes, Lance. I'd like one last dance. I'm gonna miss you, but I won't kiss you. You're my dad. And you're rad. Now let's dance like you wanted to. Lance. And then it kicks off into a 45 second version of I'm Wide Awake Take, you know, and then. And then. And then they separate. And then it's like I walk this lonely road and then they come back.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but now we're just adding to the thing she didn't want. You're out.

[Rob]

No, I know, but there's got to be a compromise. There's got to be a compromise.

[Jake Johnson]

Compromises add weirdness to the mix. I thought we had it at the beginning. And then you kept it.

[Campbell]

Listen, you had us.

[Jake Johnson]

You had us.

[Rob]

Listen, it sounds like I'm drinking water, but it's a lot of vodka up. If you don't want this advice, chat with another babe. You know, now you're getting defensive.

[Jake Johnson]

We're still in it with her. So, Campbell, I actually, I liked the Jillian song surprisingly a lot, but I don't think it's right for this. When you close your eyes, Campbell, and you think of dad.

[Campbell]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. What a guy. When you think of that wonderful relationship you two strange souls have had, and in the. On this rock, somehow it was father, daughter, and wow, did it work? Sure. There were ups and downs. Of course there is. But, man, are you glad you picked dad. And because you picked the dad and it worked out so well, you fell in love with a. With a winner.

[Campbell]

True.

[Jake Johnson]

A guy similar to dad in his kindness and his sweetness and his, dare I say, heart.

[Campbell]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So when you think of honoring dad in this funky love story that started as a two year old that went to a six year old through your teenage years to the twenties till now, what song makes you think of dad? Not Dad's jokes, but dad. Don't think. Don't think. Spit. Don't think. Spit.

[Campbell]

I know, but this is gonna be an answer.

[Jake Johnson]

You don't, like, talk to me.

[Rob]

What is it?

[Jake Johnson]

Jumbo Wamba?

[Campbell]

No, guys, there's really not one. Like, I don't think, like, the things that I love the most about my dad are that, like, he's hilarious and, like, is also like, like, I mean, just so funny. But it's also like, very like, I have extremely bad anxiety. And he has been, like, wonderful with it.

[Jake Johnson]

He has, yeah. So he's just been.

[Campbell]

He has been like, so. Yeah. And he's hilarious.

[Jake Johnson]

What makes you so. What makes him so wonderful with your anxiety? How does he handle it?

[Campbell]

He is just like, pretty patient, which, I mean, as you know, with anxiety. Well, as you know, like, with anxiety, it's like the most inconvenient thing of all time.

[Jake Johnson]

The worst.

[Rob]

Yeah. Irrational.

[Campbell]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Irrational.

[Campbell]

Yeah. And he is, like, so willing to be like, okay, let's go walk around. Let's go walk around. It's fine. Like, we're gonna get up from this nice dinner table that we're at with our whole family and we're gonna go outside and walk around.

[Rob]

Oh, my God.

[Jake Johnson]

And it's like, me too.

[Rob]

I. I have.

[Campbell]

And he will be like. And it's like he doesn't even fully understand it, but, like, he doesn't care.

[Jake Johnson]

He understands you.

[Campbell]

Yeah. He like, yeah. He's like, I don't get how your brain works like this, but, like, I want to do what I can to, like, help.

[Jake Johnson]

And I'm going to tell you, Jillian, we're in a really sweet moment. Here. I don't think we should end sexually. But I won't.

[Rob]

I won't actually. It's going to surprise you. I. So I deal with a lot of anxiety. I think Jake said he does too. And I lost my father 12 years ago. And by the way, when I found out he was sick, the first thing I thought was, who is like the best man in my life right now that I can marry? And I know that sounds irrational, but I was like, I just want him to be there. And so for this moment, I actually think there's something really beautiful about having some kind of combination where you're having a sweet moment with him and then just have like one little moment of a song that's fun for him because it honestly too is going to get you out of your head. Like, I actually think there's some kind of sweet tribute to your dad. Like he's picking things. Like, I walk this lonely road. But like you do, you leave tables to just go and like take a walk with him. Like, I think totally.

[Jake Johnson]

Right.

[Rob]

Like. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you could figure out what's the most fun. Like if it's the Enrique Iglesias one. Like, do a moment with that. That like, you know, is just like. It starts out sweet and then it just hits into that for like 30 seconds.

[Campbell]

Yeah. And it just starts sweet. And then.

[Rob]

Because you won't get it. Yeah. Because you won't regret it. And if that's who he truly is, honor who he is in that moment too. And who you are.

[Jake Johnson]

You know what, you know what your dad has done here. And I think Jelliard's pitch is right on. I walk these lonely dreams. Right. But then I'm wide awake. Then you've got a feeling. Yeah. No, Then wide awake, then it's. I like the way it feels. This is as you as a woman. But you know what he wants you to do? Call him on the payphone. Reach out to dad. And then. But I've got a feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night. Meaning it's all gonna be okay. Here's my pitch. Just let your dad drive the train and let it be the worst three minute dance of all time. Let it be chaos and fun. And beforehand say, before I do this dance, I just want to say something really quickly. I love my dad very much, with all my heart. You've always been there for me, you know that. Fight the emotions, but if they come out, that's okay. You have been so patient with my anxiety, with everything you have made me the woman I am today. Without you, I wouldn't be marrying this great man today. And honestly, Dad, I just adore you. So I just need to say to everybody here, my dad planned this dance.

[Rob]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

We have not rehearsed it enough.

[Rob]

Yeah, we haven't had a chance to.

[Jake Johnson]

Rehearse it, because that's very my dad. I don't fully get it. It. I've been really nervous about it. But, dad, I adore you, and I'm gonna give it my all. So, everybody, without further ado, here's a father and daughter dance. That how my dad sees it. And, dad, I would do anything for you because you would do anything for me. And I adore you. Then go put on the weirdest, worst three minutes or whatever, or it turns into magic. But try to do it the way your dad can say. Dad, are you good to plants it, because this is your thing? And then go, dad, can you put the music together? Because if my daughter said that to me, I'd go like, yeah, I'll put it together. She go, you going to do it? I go, hell, yeah. Hell, yeah. And then just when you talk to him, be like, I'm fired up. And then right before when you say that, he'll. And you do it with a big smile. He'll go like this. She's not wrong. But let's see what we can do. And then the whole thing is, you guys can be laughing together, the audience can be laughing. They're on board in it. And then what they get to do is see a glimpse of this wonderful relationship, and no one's judging how the dance is. That is way better than you guys slow dancing to, like, my girl. My girl. I think the sincerity, the silliness, the. You given a speech. I know you're a girl with anxiety, but guess what you got to do with anxiety? You got to face the fear and do it anyway.

[Campbell]

Yeah.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You got to.

[Campbell]

It's true.

[Jake Johnson]

You can't run from anxiety. The monster gets bigger. You got to go through.

[Rob]

You're going to look back at this and be like, oh, I'm so glad we did something ridiculous where it felt like we were on fire, like we were dying laughing. This setup does everything for you.

[Jake Johnson]

Setup does everything. Yeah.

[Campbell]

Campbell, what if we do. What if we do, like, kind of a combination, and I, like, have him? Like, I have him. Like, be like, you need to make the. Like, can you make the mashup? Or whatever and then be like. Like, maybe have like a. Like, 30 seconds of, like, a Slow, sweet moment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then.

[Campbell]

And then we go crazy for like a minute. And that's it.

[Rob]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Say that again.

[Rob]

I think that's the dream.

[Jake Johnson]

Will you pitch that back to me, Jillian? Yes.

[Rob]

30 seconds of sweet slow dance. And then it kicks into high gear and it's just a minute long of all those mashups. And you get everything you get of insanity.

[Jake Johnson]

A minute of insanity. Yes.

[Rob]

And you know what you say to prep? Go. I want you guys to know one part of this dance is very important to my father, and he choreographed it.

[Jake Johnson]

And the part is mine.

[Rob]

Say, say. And I want you to guess which part I decided on. And then it starts.

[Jake Johnson]

Very sweet, by the way.

[Rob]

Such a winner.

[Jake Johnson]

And that if you do chillings and you don't have to give an overly emotional speech that you're going to be really nervous about and it's going to ruin the party for you, you're going to be thinking about it. All you've got to say in a handwritten note is before this, I just want to say this dance with my dad, who I adore and I love so much, goes in two parts. Parts. One part I've kind of choreographed that I think is really sweet. And one part my dad did. And I would like you. I would like you during it, to guess who picked each part.

[Rob]

Yeah, that's it.

[Jake Johnson]

And then go like, daddy, let's do it. I love you, bud.

[Campbell]

Yeah, I actually think that this is. This is like, kind of the best of both worlds.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, it is.

[Campbell]

And I couldn't really figure out how to, like, merge them in my mind because I also was like, I don't want to have to mix the music, but, like, being like, dad, if you want to do that, let's do it. But you gotta.

[Jake Johnson]

You get a minute, and then I get a minute. And guess what? It. You couldn't do it, and that's why you called into the podcast.

[Campbell]

Yeah, it's true.

[Jake Johnson]

You did know how to do it. You did know how to do it. You just needed to call into the.

[Rob]

You just needed a little.

[Jake Johnson]

A little extra help, and that's why this podcast exists. And then here's what we need from you. Video of this dance.

[Rob]

Yes.

[Campbell]

Well, obviously.

[Jake Johnson]

And if you are texting with your dad about it.

[Campbell]

Screen grabs, huh?

[Jake Johnson]

Cuz I want to read it all.

[Campbell]

Okay. Yeah, gotcha.

[Rob]

You may need to tell him about garage bands so that he knows how to put this together.

[Jake Johnson]

Dad sounds like a young guy to me.

[Campbell]

Okay, you're right.

[Jake Johnson]

Give me an age.

[Campbell]

He is 50.

[Jake Johnson]

That's what I'm saying.

[Campbell]

Three.

[Jake Johnson]

That's what I'm saying. That's.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Young. That's what I'm saying that when I heard his musical taste. You're talking about him like he's an old grandpa. I'm talking about him like he's a goddamn. Like he's a goddamn pier.

[Rob]

He's a beer.

[Jake Johnson]

But I'm climbing a guy that young. Wait, what?

[Campbell]

The only thing I'm nervous about.

[Jake Johnson]

My Internet's bad.

[Campbell]

What did you just say?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You.

[Rob]

You just said you wanted to climb in bed with Lance.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, so keep going, Campbell, and then we're gonna get out of here because we got a winner. Go ahead.

[Campbell]

Yeah, the only thing I was gonna say is I think that my. My dad is just like, very much of the mindset of, like, you can't teach an old dog new tricks, and he doesn't know how to mix music. But I think that if I, like, figure it out, put it on his plate, and I'm like, this is your job now. Yeah, like, he'll find. He'll find a way or find a way.

[Jake Johnson]

You can't teach an old dog new tricks. Luckily, you ain't an old dog. Dog. You and in your prime dog. And here a man who's only 53.

[Campbell]

And you're also a human.

[Jake Johnson]

And you're a human. So you're saying. Doesn't make any sense. And guess what? You actually can. You can teach an old dog new traits. If you have pepperoni, the same doesn't try to get a 12 year old dog from the pound. Give it. Make it sit. It'll look at you weird. Touch its butt and put it down and give it pepperoni. Then let it go up and go like this. Sit. That dog's sitting. I don't know if you need to.

[Rob]

I don't know if you need to touch his butt.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, thank you so much for the call, Campbell. Follow up with us.

[Campbell]

Thank y' all. Y' all are so awesome. Thanks for helping.

[Jake Johnson]

Appreciate you.

[Rob]

Congratulations.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, bye.

[Campbell]

Thank you. Thank you. Bye.

[Jake Johnson]

Hello. Hello.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi.

[Jake Johnson]

How are you?

[Jillian Bell]

Good, how are you?

[Jake Johnson]

I'm good. What's your name?

[Jillian Bell]

My name is Caitlin.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Caitlin, I'm Jake.

[Jillian Bell]

Hi, Jake.

[Jake Johnson]

You got Gareth and you got the great Jillian Bell.

[Rob]

Hello.

[Jillian Bell]

Oh, hi. Very exciting.

[Jake Johnson]

Really quickly. Jillian has directed a feature film. Oh, Jillian, will you just tell us really quickly when it comes out, what's. What's it called and why Caitlyn should watch it? Because I know I'm watching it in two days and I'm excited.

[Rob]

Thank you. It's coming out May 9th on Hulu. It's called Summer of 69. It's about a sexually inexperienced teenager who, in order to land the guy of her dreams the last week of school, hires a local stripper to be her mentor. And it is played by the amazingly brilliant and funny Chloe Feynman.

[Jake Johnson]

She is so funny.

[Rob]

She's so funny. And the movie is so, so fun and feel good and a little heartwarming. So please check it out.

[Jake Johnson]

So everybody watch it. I'm gonna watch it. Jillian is the best. And Chloe I worked with on the Dink too. She's so talented.

[Rob]

She's so funny. So good in this role too. This is her first, like, lead, lead role.

[Jake Johnson]

And I think she's a killer, killer superstar. And I think we got soon to be a heavy hitter director.

[Rob]

Oh, my.

[Jake Johnson]

On our call right now. Just don't stop the acting. Don't stop the act. We were talking a little bit before, but we need you as an improviser. You're too funny.

[Rob]

Thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

Don't let the bad guy stop you. Caitlyn. Caitlin, how old are you?

[Jillian Bell]

I am 27.

[Jake Johnson]

So many young callers today. And where are you calling from?

[Jillian Bell]

I'm calling from New York City.

[Jake Johnson]

What part?

[Jillian Bell]

I'm currently in midtown. I live in the Bronx.

[Jake Johnson]

You live in the Bronx? You from the Bronx? You just move up there?

[Jillian Bell]

No, I. I just moved up there. I'm actually from New Jersey originally.

[Jake Johnson]

Wow. Chose the Bronx. That wasn't part of my year 2000s. Nobody was living in the Bronx. Everyone was. Brooklyn. It's really cool. So 27 New York City. We're just going to say you're from the Bronx. What's your favorite meal? You.

[Jillian Bell]

Pasta. I love it so much, I even named my cat after it.

[Jake Johnson]

This is the info we wanted. Your cat's name is Pasta. How many cats you got? Yeah. Just one.

[Jillian Bell]

Just one? Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Fat cat, skinny cat, tabby cat.

[Jillian Bell]

Oh, very fat.

[Rob]

A fat cat named Pasta. What a dream.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Caitlyn, what's your issue today?

[Jillian Bell]

Okay, so I'm calling because my partner and I, we've been together for four years. Pasta is our joint cat. And we just moved to this building in the Bronx in November, and we love to play tennis together. And this building actually has, like a health club downstairs. And so we play. We get to play a lot more than we used to, like in the winter and stuff because it's indoors. And so one of the things we love to do together is play tennis.

[Jake Johnson]

Cool.

[Jillian Bell]

And I've also, like, always played with my mom, and she came up with this thing during the pandemic when we were playing a lot called the Deuce Dance, which is basically when the score gets deduced, you, like, shake it a little, like, you do a little wiggle. And it originated, I think, because we're not supposed to be playing on these courts, and so we didn't want to yell the score, and so we did the dance to tell each other what the score was when it was deuce. But it just became this thing now where if I don't do, like, I can't not do the deuce dance. And my partner, when we first started playing together, he would do it. And now it's been four years, and he's like, I'm not doing that. And it came to a head the other day we were playing, and I got really upset that he wouldn't do the Deuce dance because I was like. It shows to me that, like, you know, hey, you're having a good time. Deuce is like, you know, when it's. When it's tied, it's like, maybe a little tense, depending on, you know, how many games everyone's won. So to me, the dance is, like, to kind of tell your partner, like, hey, I'm, you know, I'm having fun. It's not, you know, it relieves the tension a little bit. So, yeah, I guess my specific question is, like, how to get him to want to do the Deuce dance again.

[Rob]

Ooh. I think there's a deeper question here.

[Jake Johnson]

No, we're talking, Jillian, what's your deeper question?

[Rob]

I think the deeper question is, why do you feel there needs to be, from him or her, a do stance?

[Jake Johnson]

Well, because it means something to her and her mom, and she just wants him to assimilate into her traditions. Well, if you're going to be her partner, you got to do it her way. Is there any truth to this, Caitlin?

[Jillian Bell]

Yeah, there is.

[Rob]

How many, Caitlyn, how many Deuce dances are there in your relationship?

[Jake Johnson]

It o.

[Jillian Bell]

Wait, what does that mean?

[Rob]

It means, Caitlyn, I mean. I mean, at night, is it. Are you the one that picks the TV shows? Are. Are you the one that decides what's going to be for dinner based on.

[Jake Johnson]

Your cravings, Your apartment?

[Jillian Bell]

Well, I don't. Yeah, I don't really. I definitely don't decide what's going to be for dinner because he, like, cooks every night. He loves cooking. Yeah, I see what you mean.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, but here's a question for you, for real Caitlyn. And we're with you. This is not.

[Rob]

We're not against you.

[Jake Johnson]

No, we're just getting intel. But don't feel defensive because we're with you. But here's a question. If. What are we calling your. What's your partner's name?

[Jillian Bell]

His name's Luke.

[Jake Johnson]

Luke. If you and Luke were on a balancing scale, right, and you had bunch of mini pasta cats on each side, and each side had a hundred mini pasta cats, and it was perfectly balanced, Right. Each cat weighs exactly the same, let's say £500.

[Rob]

Whoa.

[Jake Johnson]

Just trying to get a. Just trying to get a realistic image here, Jillian.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're big.

[Jake Johnson]

It's big. Yeah. Depends on big. Let's not get judgy. Let's not put our judgments on pasta's beautiful body.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What.

[Jake Johnson]

So you've got 500 pastas on one, 500 pastas on the other. Yeah.

[Jillian Bell]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

If each side means control of the relationship. And let's not get into the. What does control mean? We all know these words. Who is in. Who's got more pastas on this side? You or Luke?

[Jillian Bell]

I guess in different areas. We have them in different areas. So, like, what we have for dinner or, you know, what we're doing on the day to day where we're going out. I probably have. I probably have a few more pastas on my side.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you for the honesty.

[Rob]

Love it.

[Jake Johnson]

How many? If there's. You each started with, let's say a hundred just to keep the math clean. Are you, like, okay, 102 to 98. Let's be honest here. Are you, you know, a few more pastas than that?

[Jillian Bell]

So we each start with a hundred. I'm probably at, like. Yeah, probably like 1:15.

[Jake Johnson]

Fair. And he's about 85.

[Jillian Bell]

That's. Yes. I can't do math, but yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And so. And then the Deuce Dance to you is so basic. Just shake your hips on a deuce. But for some reason, he's made a stand, and you're like, this is the stand. The Deuce Dance, Luke, right? I'm 115. You're 85, pal. If we're gonna have kids and do this whole thing.

[Campbell]

Thing.

[Jake Johnson]

You can't put a stand on the Deuce Dance. I'm gonna dress us all up in matching Christmas clothes one day.

[Rob]

Is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is any part of his issue that the Deuce dance sounds like something you do when you.

[Jillian Bell]

No, no, we don't. We don't, like, say we're doing the Deuce Dance as we're doing it it's just sort of like a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

Of hip, you know?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That would be my problem.

[Jillian Bell]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. And so you do a little dance. It's brief. And he stops, dropped. And I got a question for you. Is he a guy who goes along with a lot of the kind of arbitrary Caitlyn rules, such as if you do something fun when you were a kid? Like, for example, my family growing up, for holidays, you know, my mom got us gifts, but it wasn't like we weren't all drinking hot cocoa and matching gear. You know, we knew what it was, and we knew there wasn't a fat man who came down the fireplace. We knew it was Eve Jackson and put it on a credit card. But that's not the vibe in my house. In my house, we all dress up in matching clothes. That's a few years for Jake. It did.

[Rob]

Yeah. And my fiance's name is also Luke. And you should see the first Christmas photo. He is so uncomfortable in the pajamas we put him in. And I think that as he gets more comfortable, he will draw a line there or just leave it out. Pick out which. Which ones he would like for him. Yes, yes.

[Jake Johnson]

But there is the beginning. When you get in a relationship, you go like, oh, we're leaning into your stuff more. And 27's right at that point where you're like, at 25, everybody's so cool. And at 27, you're like, I'm not that cool. I like a deuce dance, and I want my partner to too. But there's also lines that they got to go, but that's too far. So are we at a rubber meets the road with the deuce dance, or are we being way too dramatic on this call? We're diving way too deep because our last call got deep. So now we're pretending to be Dr. Phil and Sally, Jesse Raphael and Gareth, because his audio is not good, isn't contributed as much, so he doesn't get a character. But I'll say Montel Williams.

[Rob]

Just to be clear, I'm Dr. Phil, correct?

[Jake Johnson]

A hundred percent.

[Rob]

Okay, okay.

[Jake Johnson]

But so are we on the right track? Are we around track? Caitlin, when you're hearing this, are you.

[Jillian Bell]

Thinking, yeah, you're on the right track? I definitely. I definitely took it seriously in the moment. Like, perhaps more seriously than I.

[Jake Johnson]

Perhaps he's not the right guy.

[Rob]

No.

[Jillian Bell]

No, I took it very seriously in the moment because I was building it to be something bigger. And the truth is, he does, depending on the thing, like, he does go along with a good amount of stuff to me. It's just, like, my family is really goofy, and so. And I'm really goofy, and together, we. We can be goofy in moments too. Like, we definitely have our silly moments. And so I was a little like, we. We are silly. I know you can be silly, so why aren't you doing the silly thing? But he did say in the moment, like, that's your thing with your mom. And I thought it had become, like.

[Jake Johnson]

Our thing, but interesting.

[Jillian Bell]

Yeah. Because we also do all play together. So now I'm like, when we do doubles and my mom and I are shaking our little butt, like, is he gonna do it with us?

[Rob]

He might not. And. And that's gonna be okay. And can I offer two pitches to you? Can I offer two pitches to you? One is you say to him, look, the do stance is weirdly important to me. It just makes me happy. Is there a way that you can do it with me and then I can also do some other thing with you?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

[Rob]

That's very important to you. That just feels wild or silly or ridiculous. Or you can make me do the stupidest one so that it's embarrassing for me, but I have to do it now during our tennis matches.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Rob]

Or you can say, hey, this one feels like you really want it to just be me and my mom, and I'll respect that boundary. But maybe we can have a tradition of our own that's outside of tennis. That's, like, kind of fun for us. Like, we host a game night every night or every once a month, but we wear top hats with all of our friends. You know, something silly. But just.

[Jake Johnson]

Can I pitch on your pitch?

[Rob]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

I think you're very close to something that I'm gonna try to sign off onto. Okay, so, Caitlin, what if we do something like this? You and your mom do this stupid deuce off, but you like it. You shake your little butts on deuce. It'd be great if Luke shook his little butt too, because it's fun as hell and silly. Just shake your little butt, Luke. And for some reason, Luke doesn't want to shake his little butt, but you want Luke to shake his little butt with you and your mom because it's fun. But Luke doesn't want to shake his little but. But you would love him to shake his little butt. So maybe we do this. You say to Luke on deuce, if you don't want to shake their little butt, what do you want to do? Do you want to point at me? Do you Want to wag a finger? Do you want to shake your head? What can you do while I'm doing the Deuce dance? That feels like your version of the Deuce Dance. Just to. So I know you're acknowledging it. You can do whatever. You could fake tip your hat. You could do an I caramba, where you look at the sky with two fingers up. What do you want to do? That feels like your version of the Deuce dance. But maybe as a guy, you don't want to shake your little butt. So maybe the shake in the butt is the mom and daughter, but the boyfriend guy version is more like a Y finger point. Do you know what I'm saying? What is. If this is a dance, what's your role in the dance, Luke? And all I'm asking you to do is when dudes comes. Just do that for a second. Second. But you can pick your own version of your Deuce dance.

[Jillian Bell]

Yeah, that is a good idea. I am a little worried that he, like, when I pressed him about it, he said that because it's deuce and because it's tense, that, like, he doesn't like to, like, split his focus in that moment.

[Jake Johnson]

So then you know what he could do? Wipe the sweat off his brow. So you're getting silly. He's getting focused.

[Rob]

Where he takes a water break. He gets a little water break, and he squirts it over in your direction so that you're dancing in the dudes a lot.

[Jake Johnson]

But that breaks a lot of focus.

[Rob]

Okay. All right, all right.

[Jake Johnson]

I want something fast for him. Just. You're being silly. He's wanting to get more focused. So how about he just does, like, a. Slaps his face where, like, the competitor, like, he takes two hands, does, like, the Kevin from Home Alone just goes like, game time.

[Jillian Bell]

Yeah, that's true.

[Jake Johnson]

He could do whatever. He could do whatever he wants on his dance. You're just giving him the freedom and saying, will you do something with me? Because in my family, we view it as like a traditional halftime moment. Will you just be part of it? But you could do your version of it.

[Campbell]

Yeah, that's.

[Jillian Bell]

That is a good idea. I like, you know, selfishly, I want it to be a little bit silly so that we have the same energy.

[Jake Johnson]

You don't have to have the same energy because you're also competitors. Isn't that what love is?

[Rob]

And your. And your. And your partners and. And partners don't always want to do.

[Jake Johnson]

The same thing, like, but you're doing something together.

[Rob]

Yeah. Yeah. The thing that you're doing together is tennis.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. Gareth, what do you think here, pal?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I. I like what we're saying. I. My pitch would be because I get what he's saying. So why don't we get him a shirt that on the back says deuce and he can kind of point his thumb back to it. Love it. And that kind of maintains the energy of the competition, but it also is a signal to you that you can now be silly and do your deuce dance.

[Jake Johnson]

And I like that. And if it's not a shirt, if you don't want to commit to it, he can just put two fingers in the air. Air.

[Rob]

You really love the pointing to the sky thing.

[Jake Johnson]

I like something just real easy for Luke that gives really minimal effort, that while you're shaking, he just puts two up.

[Rob]

Caitlyn, I have to be rude and jump off because I'm the rudest, but I. I'm going to let. I feel like these gentlemen have this.

[Jake Johnson]

Before you go really quickly.

[Rob]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Caitlyn, what are you going to do?

[Jillian Bell]

I think I really like this shirt idea. And I do like this idea. I like all the ideas. I want to do all them. I want to get him a shirt, but I also want him to, like, I want to give him the option where maybe he doesn't do the deuce dance, but there's something else silly that like.

[Campbell]

Or he.

[Jillian Bell]

If he does the deuce dance, then I'll do something silly that he wants me to do that I don't want to do, which I know probably is going to be like letting him wipe his sweat on my face or something.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, great. Okay.

[Jillian Bell]

Because he always wants to do that. And then if not that, then I think that I emotionally will make peace with him doing his own thing. That's not shaking the butt, but, like, whether it's two fingers and letting him kind of pick it and be like. Because, you know, it's traditional to say the score out loud, and so that's like acknowledging the score. We always do that. So that. What's fun about the dance is that it's like a little spice, a little extra.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that sounds perfect. Picked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You could just pitch him all the things we just pitched you as options and then say.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you say?

[Jillian Bell]

Yeah, Yeah, I think. I think I am gonna do that. I think I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna. I'm gonna let him pick of those. Of those options. I do like this idea of, like a. Like, if not a shirt, like a wristband or something, like a sweatband.

[Jake Johnson]

So that he could wear it every single time and not have to worry about cleaning it. Just a. Something really easy. You could even make him a laminated deuce card.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. He could have a deuce kerchief. Like a handkerchief with deuce on it. And every time he wipes his brow, it's the deuce signal.

[Jake Johnson]

That's right.

[Jillian Bell]

That's true. Yeah, I like that, too. It depends on how many deuce. If we start tying up every single game, we get like a million de game.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That much?

[Jake Johnson]

That's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on.

[Jake Johnson]

But we're just trying to keep it really simple for Luke. That feels really satisfying for you.

[Jillian Bell]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And that is not hard to figure out together, you guys can nail that one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I also think if you come to the table with merch and you're sort of like, I made this for you because I want you to feel included and do your own thing, I think that helps, too.

[Jake Johnson]

I do, too. Too.

[Jillian Bell]

Yeah. I think I might lead with that one. I might make something and then. And then present it along with the other options that you guys gave about. Like squirting. Yeah, squirting me with water or something.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that is exactly right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I kind of like the wristbands. If they say deuce on them. I like that. He could kind. I don't want to say he does the Wonder Woman. Don't tell him I said that. But he kind of does the wonder Woman. Like, he puts his wrist together. That could be. Be good. But I think if you come with that, there's some thought behind it. You recognize that the deuce dance is dead for him, and that's okay.

[Jake Johnson]

I think so, too.

[Jillian Bell]

Yeah. For sure. That makes a lot of sense. I'm gonna do that.

[Jake Johnson]

So I got a question for you. Do you feel confident that you got a good game plan, then it's gonna work?

[Jillian Bell]

I do. I do. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

I think you're golden.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do, too. And I think. And. And honestly, I think the, you know, look, tennis is all about love. Love. Sorry, I fumbled that. That could have been cleaner.

[Jake Johnson]

Jake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can see your face, Jake. And I can see it's not happy.

[Jake Johnson]

And. No, he's just. Gareth is trying to get an edit, an end of episode laugh line, and he's decided to just finish it himself without even letting me respond.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I saw your face. You can't see me. I can see you. And I saw what you're. Don't lie to me. You. You know what you did, you just do standstill be.

[Jake Johnson]

That's. You're the caitly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right there. Exactly. That's exactly what just happened.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that is correct. So, Caitlyn, you feeling good?

[Jillian Bell]

Oh, no. Yes, definitely. And I'm sorry you got deuce danced.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's tough. I really empathize with your position. It's hurtful.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, why don't you two shake your little butts?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop saying that.

[Jillian Bell]

Jaco Sweat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Man, that is good lord.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, Kayyn, we appreciate the call. We bud.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Jillian Bell]

Thank you so much.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you, pal. We're here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ Helpful Pod Gmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to help, you can go to our [e-mail] here to help pod to see our our entire catalog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grim Productions executive producers Rob Hollis.

[Jake Johnson]

Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike. Animations by Andrew Strecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, I'm Tony Hale. I'm Matt Oberg.

[Rob]

And I'm Kristen Schall.

[Jake Johnson]

And we're going to be hosting the new podcast the Extraordinarians, where we are going to be interviewing extraordinary people doing extraordinary things, things that we have never and probably will never do. We talk to people who have broken records on slack lines, suspended by hot air balloons. We're talking to people who have done multiple flips on trampolines. You'll have to tune in to find out how many flips they did.

[Rob]

Subscribe to extraordinarians on Spotify, Apple Podcast.

[Jake Johnson]

Pocket Cast or wherever you get your.

[Rob]

Podcast and watch videos.

[Jake Johnson]

On the YouTube.

[Rob]

There's new episodes that we release in the every Wednesday we do.

[Jake Johnson]

I've never seen you cry before. I know. I don't know how I feel. This is upsetting for all of us. They don't let us break for lunch. They do podcasts. It's so competitive.

[Rob]

They make you just talk and talk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Guys, we're watching a spin out.

[Jake Johnson]

Please subscribe.

[Rob]

Oh, man.

[Jake Johnson]

Extraordinarians. All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon and season two.

[Rob]

Video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. 20th. Go to Patreon. Com heretohelpod.