175: A Thing For Dinosaurs (with Derek Waters and Zach Shields)

Summary

Episode 175: A Thing For Dinosaurs

Host(s): Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds
Guests: Derek Waters & Zach Shields
Release Date: May 28, 2025

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Introduction to the Episode

In Episode 175: A Thing For Dinosaurs, hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds from Headgum's We're Here to Help, the duo welcomes Derek Waters and Zach Shields to tackle a unique caller situation. This episode delves deep into the passionate world of a dinosaur enthusiast struggling to balance his obsession with his family life.

---

Pitching a New Documentary Project

[05:46] Jake Johnson introduces an exciting documentary project the hosts and guests are developing. They seek unresolved issues or "beefs" from listeners that aren't too serious but significant enough to warrant attention. [06:33] Zach Shields elaborates, emphasizing the need for clear protagonists and antagonists to make the stories compelling.

Zach Shields [06:37]: "We're looking for grudges... something that you can't resolve on your own. Nothing too serious. Nothing's going to end up in court."

This segment sets the stage for the episode, highlighting the show's commitment to addressing listeners' personal dilemmas with humor and camaraderie.

---

Caller Spotlight: Rob’s Dinosaur Obsession

The heart of the episode revolves around Rob, a marketing manager and avid dinosaur collector, who calls in seeking advice on how to get his wife, Jackie, to accept the significant amount of time he dedicates to his dinosaur sculpting hobby.

Rob’s Introduction and Passion

[13:11] Rob introduces himself from Grove, Florida, mentioning his deep-seated love for Jurassic Park and his involvement in creating dinosaur memorabilia.

Rob [14:10]: "I have a lot of collection items. I was actually an extra in the movie that you were in, Jake."

Daily Routine Breakdown

The hosts meticulously dissect Rob’s daily schedule to understand the extent of his dinosaur engagement:

• Morning (6:00 AM - 8:00 AM): Family time and initial engagement with dinosaur-related online communities.

  Rob [20:19]: "I spend an hour and a half to two hours of my day... reading up."

• Work Hours (8:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Balancing a full-time job with intermittent dinosaur activities.

  Jake Johnson [22:42]: "You wake up, you help the family six to seven before work... then you're getting right into Jurassic World stuff online."

• Afternoon (1:00 PM - 6:00 PM): Continued work with limited time for dinosaurs.

  Rob [23:51]: "I spend a little bit of time sculpting during lunch."

• Evening (6:00 PM - 8:00 PM): Family time post-work intertwined with dinosaur activities.

  Rob [25:22]: "So you go one to five, I go one to six."

• Night (8:00 PM onwards): Dedicated dinosaur time until bedtime.

  Rob [27:27]: "I have a little bit of an addiction to dinosaurs."

Emotional Backstory

Rob shares a poignant moment from his childhood that fuels his passion:

Rob [29:20]: "When I was younger, I got really sick... I would have a toy dinosaur that was with me."

This revelation adds depth to his obsession, illustrating it as a source of comfort and healing.

---

Advice Session: Balancing Passion and Family

The hosts, along with Derek and Zach, engage in a candid discussion to help Rob find a harmonious balance between his dinosaur hobby and his marital responsibilities.

Identifying the Issue

Through a detailed examination of Rob’s schedule, it becomes evident that his dinosaur-related activities consume a significant portion of his day, leading to marital strain.

Jake Johnson [29:37]: "So Rob, how do you get your wife to accept the fact that my passion is sculpting dinosaurs?"

Proposed Solutions and Negotiations

The conversation intensifies as the hosts brainstorm potential solutions, ranging from creating separate spaces for hobbies to setting strict time limits.

Zach Shields [34:35]: "You put a start a hospital. Get a ponytail, maybe get a convertible."

Despite some humorous and exaggerated suggestions, the hosts maintain a focus on practical advice.

Involving the Spouse: Jackie’s Perspective

In a pivotal moment, Rob brings his wife, Jackie, into the conversation to provide her viewpoint.

Jake Johnson [45:12]: "Jackie, can you come on the phone and tell us how many hours is enough?"

Jackie acknowledges Rob's passion but emphasizes the need for balanced time together.

Jackie [51:01]: "I would love, because we were with our son until he goes to bed at 8. So it's like, it's nice to have like an hour, two hours together..."

Final Agreement: Setting Boundaries

After a heartfelt negotiation, Rob agrees to the following arrangement to appease Jackie:

1. Morning and Work Hours: Rob continues his dinosaur activities as usual.
2. Post-Kid's Bedtime (8:00 PM onwards): Ceases all dinosaur-related activities to spend quality time with Jackie.

Jake Johnson [57:56]: "From the moment that boy goes to bed, until that woman goes to bed, no dinosaurs."

Rob is enthusiastic about adhering to this compromise, signifying a positive step towards balancing his interests with family life.

Rob [58:34]: "I'm thrilled. I can do that."

---

Listener Interactions and Feedback

Towards the latter part of the episode, the hosts address feedback from listeners regarding recurring characters "Piggly and Mo." While some listeners express frustration over their frequent mentions, a segment of fans passionately defends their presence.

Listener Amanda [64:03]: "Do not ever let Pigly and Mo go. We love them."

Conversely, other callers humorously critique their overuse, adding a layer of comedic relief to the episode.

Listener Jason [65:36]: "We created a stupid world full of stupid people listening to stupid podcasts... So, yeah, long live Piggly and Mo."

---

Conclusion

Episode 175: A Thing For Dinosaurs masterfully blends heartfelt advice with comedic elements, showcasing the hosts' ability to address genuine relationship issues while maintaining an entertaining atmosphere. Rob's story serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of balancing personal passions with familial responsibilities, all wrapped in the show's signature humor.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Rob's Backstory:

  [29:20] Rob: "When I was younger, I got really sick... I would have a toy dinosaur that was with me."

• Documentary Project Pitch:

  [06:37] Zach Shields: "We're looking for grudges... something that you can't resolve on your own."

• Final Agreement on Balance:

  [57:56] Jake Johnson: "From the moment that boy goes to bed, until that woman goes to bed, no dinosaurs."

• Rob's Acceptance:

  [58:34] Rob: "I'm thrilled. I can do that."

---

This detailed summary encapsulates the essence of We're Here to Help Episode 175, providing an insightful look into the challenges of balancing personal hobbies with family life, all while maintaining the show's humorous and supportive tone.

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Gemini.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Jake. It is to us. Gemini was an American gladiator, but not to the kids of today. We're talking exams, essays. This is stressful stuff. We went through it. We were on our own.

[Jake Johnson]

But Gemini is offering something really great for college students. So if you are a listener of We're Here to help and if you want a little extra help, you, Gemini Advanced is now free for college students in the United States of America. Sign up before June 30th and you'll get free access all the way through Spring Finals 2026. So, Gareth, when you use Gemini, which we both use, what do you use it for and what do you like about it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's sometimes like if there's a topic that I think I want to do stand up on or if there's sometimes like if I'm writing something for my show, it's just like a way to kind of have something info. It just gives you all the information and right away you go, oh, okay, now I actually get this. Now I can personalize it.

[Jake Johnson]

Visit Gemini Google slash students to learn more. Terms apply. The new McCrispy strip is here. Dip approved by Ketchup Tangy barbecue honey mustard, honey mustard, Sprite, McFlurry Big Mac sauce, double dipped in buffalo and ranch.

[Derek Waters]

More ranch and creamy chili.

[Jake Johnson]

McCrispy strip dip now at McDonald's bottom. If you have a locked AT&T phone, we're here with bolt cutters. T mobile will help pay off your locked phone and give you a new 5G phone for free. All on America's largest 5G network. Visit t mobile.com CarrierFreedom via virtual prepaid MasterCard in 15 days. Free phone up to 830 via 24 monthly bill credits plus tax and a 10 device connection charge. Qualifying port and trade in service on Go5G next and credit required. Contact us before canceling entire account to continue bill credits or credit stop and balance on required finance agreement as do bill credits end if you pay off devices early. And we are back with a special one. So we've got a special start. We're in studio.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Studio.

[Jake Johnson]

Which is new.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

First time you and I have ever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Been in studio in this studio. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I thought we'd have more of a pop, but feels like it's over.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. How do you feel about it? Good. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about you?

[Jake Johnson]

Good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

We are with you too. We saw each other this morning on Zoom still. But since then and now you've permed Your hair wrong. He does. He's got hair like yours. But when we do these, because we used to be on YouTube, he started perming his hair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not true. It's all.

[Derek Waters]

It's good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you, Derek. It's a lie, by the way.

[Jake Johnson]

But imagine. Imagine your hair like this one day, and then one day it looking like that. And then he. Surprised when I comment on it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I mean, it's been over a year that I've been putting curling cream into my hair. Yeah. So, yeah, Zach obviously gets.

[Jake Johnson]

Can I pay you to do the curling cream and next time you come on.

[Derek Waters]

Yeah, I'll do it.

[Jake Johnson]

Great. Okay. Great.

[Derek Waters]

That's how I did on Drunk History. They're like, you need to look younger. Let's curl my hair.

[Jake Johnson]

Is this a real thing?

[Derek Waters]

Yeah, that was like a go to thing.

[Jake Johnson]

They told you you needed to look younger.

[Derek Waters]

Well, they would just say, like, we'll just curl your hair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See, that's what happens, Jake. You don't see, Jake.

[Jake Johnson]

You're outside of this Hollywood curly real life. Yeah.

[Derek Waters]

That was a real thing they would do on the show.

[Jake Johnson]

You would curl your hair.

[Derek Waters]

They wouldn't. They would curl it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's amazing for Comedy Central to have that curling iron.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. I don't know. This is new information. This is shocking.

[Derek Waters]

No.

[Zach Shields]

How would they curl it?

[Jake Johnson]

This is shocking.

[Derek Waters]

Put like a curling iron, like, in my hair and put curls in. I got pictures.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you feel.

[Zach Shields]

Did you feel like it made you look younger?

[Derek Waters]

Like in the reenactments? It's not like in the.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, I thought you meant when you were as a character.

[Derek Waters]

As a character.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, they're.

[Jake Johnson]

That's so different. I thought you meant when you were hosting as when you were. Hey, I don't know. He's not a character. But it wasn't the character.

[Derek Waters]

Oh, he should look younger. He's playing like a kid. 20s. He's licking a lollipop with a pinwheel hat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And by the way, I'm playing in my twent on a podcast. Thank you, Derek.

[Jake Johnson]

That is what it is. It's the character of Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's fun. The second half of my life, I'm going to be playing young me. Sorry.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. My favorite thing was Eric Edelstein for years would go, and this was all the way up until a year and a half ago. And he's my age, so he's 46 or 47. He would go, man, I can't wait till I could start playing young dad. He goes, once I start getting Auditions as Young dad. And I had to finally say, hey, man, mid-40s take away young.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To think that you're still waiting. You know, they never cast you as.

[Jake Johnson]

Young dad, but it ain't young. And he was like, man, he's like the Young dad era. And I'm like, look at us.

[Derek Waters]

We're gonna crush during the Young dad.

[Jake Johnson]

Young dad is 17. It's not these two old men sitting in a restaurant having lunch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. Will they buy that I have a child? Oh, yeah, yeah, they will.

[Jake Johnson]

They'll buy that you have a grandkid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So we got Zach Shields and we've got Derek Waters. Hello. And we're very excited to have you guys. Zach was in the band Dead Man's Bones.

[Zach Shields]

Yes, sir.

[Jake Johnson]

And I said it correctly.

[Zach Shields]

Perfectly.

[Jake Johnson]

Kind of. But I almost said.

[Zach Shields]

I mean, it was a. You gave it a lot, but it was nice.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but I blew it at the end. I got nine out of ten nervous.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It happens.

[Jake Johnson]

It does.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

We got a special intro. Zach and Derek and I have been working on an idea which I'm very excited about. It's a documentary.

[Zach Shields]

Yes, sir.

[Jake Johnson]

That Zach first came to Derek on. Is this correct? We're excited and we are asking the audience. Are we here to help? Audience for potential submissions, if you want to be in this doc, it. Derek obviously created drunk history, but don't think of drunk history. You know, we're not going to get you drunk, but we are looking for a subject and we're going to give you an email if you are interested. If you're not interested, then enjoy the doc when it's finished. But do you guys want to talk a little bit about what this project is going to be? Sure. We.

[Zach Shields]

Well, without giving too much away.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. We're not going to spoil much.

[Zach Shields]

No. We're looking for beefs.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Zach Shields]

We're looking for grudges.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Zach Shields]

Unresolved issues.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Derek Waters]

Yeah, go ahead. I just want to cut you off and tell you to keep going.

[Zach Shields]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Zach Shields]

Thank you so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop now.

[Zach Shields]

Something that you can't resolve on your own.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Zach Shields]

You need a little bit of help. Nothing too serious. Nothing's going to end up in court.

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Zach Shields]

We don't want anything like that. We're talking about stolen muffin recipes.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Zach Shields]

Small town dramas.

[Derek Waters]

Stop sign be put up there.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. Problems that would work for our show is why I connected it to this in the intro. Now, the difference is what we would need for this is we need a very clear protag. An antagonist. So a lot of our show is we're just helping the one person. We would need to know who the other person is if they would be interested in being involved. But we don't want you two guys being friends. This is not like two college roommates. We want that beef to be significant enough that you're not really talking. Right. That though, even though it's not serious in that the problem is small, the issue is pretty big. And it's at the point where you two are not going to family events, not doing whatever. But there's a true divide over a small issue. Yes.

[Derek Waters]

And you have an example.

[Zach Shields]

I do. Well, I didn't. I mean, there. There is nothing worse than an unresolved issue haunting you for no reason. My dad and I didn't talk for 20 years. Almost.

[Jake Johnson]

True.

[Zach Shields]

This is true.

[Jake Johnson]

For 20 years, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

If it was a lie.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Zach Shields]

Yeah. No, for 20 years.

[Jake Johnson]

20 years.

[Zach Shields]

By the way, why?

[Jake Johnson]

No. Which. When did it start?

[Zach Shields]

From 17 to 37.

[Jake Johnson]

No way.

[Zach Shields]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And were you guys close up through 17?

[Zach Shields]

Yeah, on and off. Not that. Did he raise you kind of okay? Sometimes?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Yeah, I gotcha.

[Zach Shields]

Yeah, there's.

[Jake Johnson]

There were some issues.

[Zach Shields]

Yeah. Just come out of it.

[Jake Johnson]

Forget to call him until 17. I have a dad.

[Zach Shields]

No, it was on purpose. But one day I was writing this vampire movie.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Zach Shields]

For Universal. And halfway through is a father and son story. And I realized I'm not mad at my dad anymore.

[Jake Johnson]

Right.

[Zach Shields]

So I called him and I told him. I said, hey, I'm not mad at you. I wrote this vampire movie. I told him about the movie, this vampire movie. And he says, that's good to know. I'd love to read it. So now we talk. He read the vampire movie. And I was really worried because there's all this, you know, for me, it's so personal, this. This back and forth between his father and son and. And he. He reads it and he calls me and he goes, hey, I read. Read your vampire movie. And I said, okay, cool. What'd you think? And he goes. And I was so, so nervous he was going to take offense to it. And he goes, well, I didn't know when. When you stab a vampire in the chest, they turn to dust.

[Jake Johnson]

That was all I got. That's cool.

[Zach Shields]

And I was like, that's it. And he's like, yeah, that was pretty cool. And I was like, 20 years. 20 years, man. And that was it. And I realized it's. That can be that easy. Yes, it can be that easy. We talk all the time. Yeah. Fully.

[Derek Waters]

We just don't you know, we're not here to save the world. We just want to help people with grudges. Every person that I had grudges with is all dead. And I don't want that to happen.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Derek Waters]

I don't have any problems with anyone that's alive.

[Jake Johnson]

So not true. This feels like you're sugar coated and you got some grudges. I've known you for 20 years, man. You wrote that part, but it ain't real.

[Derek Waters]

Let's give them the email.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. What is the email?

[Zach Shields]

The email is Solve my beef.

[Jake Johnson]

Solve my beef at Gmail. Okay? So everybody, if you want to send it in there and then if you want to just send our show, send in. We will have access to that email too. So now to attack. We will still also be seeing it. If one of the beefs works for both, we're going to also bring them on the show. And yeah, it's going to be really fun. We've had a lot of fun doing it together. I think it's going to be great. And we are. Hopefully somebody sent something in. Gareth, what's your thought on it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like the idea. I think.

[Jake Johnson]

Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And I also think, like, one of the things we filter out is like anything kind of serious and we don't have the longevity to be able to actually resolve a beef on that level.

[Jake Johnson]

So one more time, the name of the email.

[Zach Shields]

Solvemybeefgmail.com.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Derek Waters]

And the last thing I'm gonna say that's like, in a way, drunk history is like when people would get drunk and passionate. I would call it frustrated passion. Like, that's the same thing as, like, why won't this happen? Why won't this stop sign be committed to this corner? There's gonna be death if there's not a stop sign there. Like that kind of feeling.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There we go.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's enjoy the show. This episode of We're Here to Help. America's number one podcast, Don't Look it up says the Garf man is sponsored by another podcast that we are fans of. The big flop. McDonald's collab with Monopoly in the 1990s was brilliant on paper. The problem? Their head of security orchestrated the ultimate inside job. On Wonder A's podcast, the Big Flop. Comedians join host Misha Brown to chronicle pop culture's biggest fails and try to answer the age old question, who thought this was a good idea? So listen to the Big Flop wherever you get your podcasts. This episode of We're Here to Help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Jake Johnson]

Hello.

[Rob]

Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

How are you?

[Rob]

Good, good. How are you guys?

[Jake Johnson]

Good. Welcome to the show. Can we get your name please? Sure.

[Rob]

It's Rob.

[Jake Johnson]

Rob.

[Rob]

Yeah, Rob.

[Jake Johnson]

Rob. And where are you calling from, Rob?

[Rob]

Well, currently I'm in Grove in Florida, but I'm from Ewing, New Jersey. I'm on a vacation right now.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, so you're from New Jersey but you're on vacation in Florida. Who you on vacation with?

[Rob]

My wife and my son. We're visiting my parents.

[Jake Johnson]

Fun. How old's your kid?

[Rob]

He is going to be 17 months.

[Jake Johnson]

I got a baby. Good for you, Rob. You got Gareth and I. Then you've got Derek Waters, the creator of Drunk History and Zach Shield. So you got a full boat. You got four shooters with you.

[Derek Waters]

We're all here to help you.

[Rob]

Wow, awesome.

[Jake Johnson]

So Rob, why don't you take over and get started and let us know what's going on today. Sure.

[Rob]

So when I wrote in I basically just said that I'm a marketing manager and normal guy, loves baseball, played college baseball. But I kind of have this thing where I love Jurassic park to like this like nth degree that's kind of weird. So I have a lot of like all the collection items. I have like any, anything under the sun. I was actually an extra in the movie that you were in, Jake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Whoa.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Rob]

And shot in New Orleans for a little while. It was awesome time. And I also create dinosaur like memorabilia. So like I.

[Jake Johnson]

Rob, there's a lot cooking. There was also something with baseball, too, right? Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

At one point.

[Rob]

Yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot with dinosaurs there. I saw the movie when I was, like, 4 years old. I think when it came out.

[Jake Johnson]

If your issue has nothing to do with the movie, I'm gonna die laughing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

If your issue is about what to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do on this vacation, I got food poisoning.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's start getting to where we're at on this. I think the lane is dinosaurs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I believe it is, too. But baseball came.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, I know that's all I'm thinking about is baseball.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. He's got two passions.

[Jake Johnson]

Rob, is that true? That the baseball is just to let us know you're not like a weird dinosaur guy?

[Rob]

Yeah, like, I'm not 100. Just, like, focusing on a New York Yankee fan, you know, if they were dinosaurs. Generally normal guy. It's just a dinosaur thing. So the reason I wrote.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But what he did say, which is what most normal people say, is, I'm a normal guy.

[Jake Johnson]

I like.

[Derek Waters]

I like the normal things.

[Jake Johnson]

Normal guy, baseball, dinosaurs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You had me a cheese burger. I'll eat it anyway.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm a normal guy. I like baseball and dinosaurs. Now Let me talk 15 straight minutes about dinosaurs. The baseball seems like a weird. Like a fake. Rob.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Feels like you're faking us. It feels like a first date where there's red flag.

[Rob]

I got my wife.

[Jake Johnson]

That's how you got. I respect it. She likes you as a baseball player, not a weird dinosaur guy. I'll tell you what. There's not a lot of ladies who are like, are you really into dinosaurs? That's not a big panty dropper.

[Derek Waters]

Just trying to get me horny.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I'm into them. I was also. Also an extra in a dinosaur movie showing, so. All right, Rob, now we're getting it. So the baseball. And by the way, who am I to judge? I drove here with no shirt on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. That was revealed earlier.

[Jake Johnson]

So I. We get in it. You threw the baseball out a little bit. Like, that's how I got my wife. I'm not a true weirdo, but I'm getting weird with dinosaurs.

[Rob]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, fair enough.

[Rob]

So basically, my. My what I wrote in is that. So I spent a lot of time 3D modeling dinosaurs and collecting the figures and things that. And I also sell them. And my wife.

[Jake Johnson]

This isn't business. We keep adding new stuff. Is this about. This is about your business of dinosaurs. That is a different game.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's what we should do, Rob. Get every dinosaur part of it out on the table now, kind of unfurling slowly like an onion peel.

[Jake Johnson]

And I also feel like you're keeping a secret. Just say the dinosaur secret you want to say.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, honestly. 3D modeling dinosaur. You banged a dinosaur? What's going on?

[Jake Johnson]

What is the weird dinosaur thing you don't want to mention?

[Rob]

So my wife has an issue with the amount of time that I spend doing this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know how she feels. I've known you five minutes. I have an issue.

[Jake Johnson]

Rob, I guarantee 30% of the audience are gonna think we're being mean. Yeah. And you're not talking enough about dinosaurs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So keep going. But I'm with Gareth on this one. It was like a lot of dinosaur stuff. I want to go back to baseball.

[Rob]

This is how my wife feels.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, understood. Unfortunately, I think I might be with her to set the scene.

[Rob]

We have a lot of imagery from.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, cool. And where are we going to see it? The back wall. But before we see the imagery, before we see it in that attack, Rob, do you feel like this has been fairly set up, or is there anything else you want to say in your setup, in your defense?

[Rob]

No. I mean, I. I get why she has an issue, but I'm just trying to make it not an issue, you know?

[Jake Johnson]

Out.

[Rob]

Yeah, he says, I do make money doing this.

[Derek Waters]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Give it. Give us a number. You don't have to give us how much you're making, but if you guys need a hundred slices of pie to support your family. How many slices are you making from dinosaurs?

[Rob]

I can probably 90 slices of pie.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, so you're the dinosaurs are supporting the group.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you're a marketer, too.

[Jake Johnson]

But hold on, Rob, is that true?

[Rob]

Marketing is the main. Oh, yeah, no. Well, then marketing is the main thing that I do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Rob]

The dinosaurs, they spent. They pay for home improvement like that. Like vacation stuff like last year. I. I don't know if you guys.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but hold on.

[Rob]

As a marketing spa day for my wife.

[Jake Johnson]

Rob, hold on. If there's a hundred slices that pay for the group. You said 90 were dinosaurs. Sounds like 70 is marketed.

[Rob]

Oh, talking about that. Yeah, sure. Yeah.

[Zach Shields]

He's asking what percent.

[Rob]

What percentage of your life expenses. Sure, yeah, 100. That marketing is. Is doing the big heavy lifting.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so marketing's like 70.

[Zach Shields]

He thought you meant time spent. Yeah, he's spending 90 of his time on dinosaurs.

[Jake Johnson]

My bad. How much time? I think and do everything. So the majority of your money comes from marketing, but about 25 to 30% of it, the AKA fun stuff, which you put as 90%, is dinosaurs.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. And then what is the specific question you have today?

[Rob]

How do I get my wife to just be on board with the amount of time that I spend making dinosaurs for people or. Or just enjoying watching in the Jurassic park every once in a while?

[Zach Shields]

How much of your time do you spend with these dinosaurs?

[Jake Johnson]

Fair enough.

[Rob]

All right. Do you want to go on a day by day?

[Jake Johnson]

Like, yes, I do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Jake Johnson]

Random Tuesday.

[Rob]

Let's just say like an hour and a half to two hours of my day is spent either, you know, talking to people because I'm trying to keep my business at that side of my business afloat, or just, you know, reading up.

[Jake Johnson]

Let him say this. So it two hours a day talking to people about business.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is when Jake Shark tanks.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm truly got to get these numbers. So do you want to. Rob. One second.

[Rob]

Dinosaur stuff.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on. Rob, do you work from home?

[Rob]

I do work from home, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So you wake up at what time? 6:00am 6:00am you doing kids stuff and wife stuff from 6 to 7:00am or.

[Rob]

Just from 6 to 7?

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Rob.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

What time do you wake up in the morning? 6am so we're gonna go right there together. Are we mentally in the same spot? We're at 6am what do you do from 6am to 7am what category would you put that out?

[Rob]

I am helping. I help my son get ready for this family stuff.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, perfect. So now we're at around 7am what are you doing from 7 to 8am.

[Rob]

7 to 8am kind of scrolling the Internet, going back to baseball, watching the Yankee highlights from the night before. And then I'll probably start going on Discord and seeing the Jurassic park group and seeing what news I missed.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on, hold on. Slow down. There's a lot cooking. So you wake up, you help the family six to seven before work, before anything else, you're watching a little bit of Yankees highlights, and then you're getting right into Jurassic World stuff online. Is this true?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're talking to people in a group.

[Jake Johnson]

This is before work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Rob]

Before work. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. So that. Hold on. So I'm gonna put seven to eight and. Rob, I'm just doing this because we don't have time to do the. So seven to eight, I'm. And dinosaurs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's. Let's be honest. For sure.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. When do you start work? 8:00am okay, so 8:00am when you're working. Now, let's be honest. I'm not your boss. I Just want the truth. I'm your friend. You work from 8 till when? Until lunch. When's your first break?

[Rob]

The first break is around. It's 12.

[Jake Johnson]

12 out of 8 to 12. Any dinosaur stuff?

[Rob]

Yeah, there's a little bit, of course.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Rob]

There's a little bit for sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, refresh the group.

[Jake Johnson]

Agreed.

[Derek Waters]

So if there's still aren't back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is his fossil.

[Derek Waters]

They're still extinct.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just on the floor naked, covered.

[Jake Johnson]

In oatmeal, no kids, gone. So you got eight to. You got. No, Rob, you're not gone. I'm with you here. Don't listen to these haters. We got 8 to 12 also work from home.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Them.

[Jake Johnson]

Your wife also works from home. Okay, so in that four hours, be honest with me now. What percentage is dinosaur? Are we at a quarter of that or half of that? And I want the truth.

[Rob]

I'm gonna. I'll say a quarter.

[Jake Johnson]

A quarter. Okay, so of that, one of those hours, we're saying dinosaur. The rest is work. Okay, Rest is work. You do lunch. Is lunch. Dinosaur themed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Brontosaurus egg lunch is.

[Rob]

Yeah, I probably spend a little bit of time sculpting during lunch. Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

Jesus, rob. Okay, so 12 to 1, dinosaur eating and dinosaur. Then you get back to work at one, is that right?

[Rob]

Yep, that's correct.

[Jake Johnson]

You go one to five, I go one to six. One to six. Are we saying a quarter of that's dinosaur?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The shorthand is awesome.

[Rob]

Yeah. Oh, maybe a little bit less.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so an hour and a half of that is dinosaur.

[Zach Shields]

You lose steam as the day goes on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Is it because you lose steam as the day goes on? You get tired or does work?

[Rob]

Yeah, it just work picks up.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, six o' clock. Work ends. First order business. See the family. First order of the business. Play with dinosaurs.

[Rob]

First order businesses. Hang out with my son for sure.

[Jake Johnson]

Great. Does your. Have you tried to get your son into dinosaurs?

[Rob]

Beyond 100%. A lot of my family is. Is very much. They know that what I'm. What I'm into. So they all. They buy him dinosaur toys and dinosaur books and like to be honest, I haven't bought that much for him. That's dinosaurs. Because my family.

[Jake Johnson]

So now we got to go back. We got to go Back to the 6 to 7am does the morning wake up routine have anything to do with dinosaurs?

[Rob]

My son will say, roar, roar. Almost immediately in the. When he wakes up.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so now, Rob, I think you're not gonna like what we pitch, but.

[Derek Waters]

We got T. Rex.

[Jake Johnson]

So now, so after work, it's dinosaur time and family time.

[Rob]

Yes. Yeah. Dinosaur and family time. Usually my son goes to sleep between 7 and 8.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Rob]

So not as much dinosaur stuff there.

[Jake Johnson]

Agreed. But it'll get more as he gets older. Unless the wife stops this.

[Rob]

Yeah, yeah, my wife and I eat at. Around, around 8 o' clock. Between 7:30 and 8 o' clock.

[Jake Johnson]

And then, and then what happens?

[Rob]

That's the time where we're either sitting watching TV or I take out my computer and I'm sculpting. Or if I'm on my phone, I'm looking at the. The news that I missed throughout the day.

[Derek Waters]

Okay, so that's your, that's your lot. That's your love time with your wife. Rob, when was the first time time. And what was the exact note? When your wife let you know, you got to give me more time. What was the exact note that she gave you?

[Rob]

You know what, it's kind of when I'm. Let's just say like I kind of give her a pre warning, like, hey, tonight I have to.

[Jake Johnson]

Wait, hold on. Derek has a question and Derek, hold on.

[Rob]

And then she'll look at.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on, Rob. Derek has implied something a couple of times.

[Derek Waters]

Derek, ask what you want to get, like busted looking at nudie magazines.

[Rob]

Is there never been. No, no.

[Derek Waters]

Right, we know. Is there anything that, like that. Is there anything that you're taking time at?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, are you a pornosaurus?

[Derek Waters]

You're the.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you.

[Zach Shields]

Do you offer your sexual time to dinosaurs?

[Derek Waters]

Like are you putting your sexual time to your wife or the dinosaurs?

[Rob]

No, that's all to my wife.

[Derek Waters]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, great. So there's nothing. Okay.

[Derek Waters]

Yeah, we just wanted to get that out.

[Rob]

No weird stuff going on. No weird stuff going on.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. So we're gonna look at some pictures.

[Jake Johnson]

But really quick before we do it. We're almost there. Six to eight goes family time, kids goes to bed. What time do you go to sleep? Midnight? Me?

[Rob]

Sometimes I go to sleep two, 3:00am Whoa.

[Jake Johnson]

So what time does your wife go to bed?

[Rob]

He goes to bed between 11 and 12.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you're. What you're doing.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. And so when she goes to bed, you're all dinosaurs?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

9 to 2am is full on dinosaur time.

[Rob]

Yeah, every day, but most. Yeah, pretty much.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm gonna start off with this. You got a thing with dinosaurs in a real way, My guy as.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, this is definitely talking to four guys who probably have had addictions at times. Yeah, this is, is. This is. You're gone from hobby, Rob you're in.

[Jake Johnson]

D, you're hooked, you're underwater.

[Rob]

What is the 100?

[Zach Shields]

Is the aspiration in your life to be full time dinosaur business?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, for every man.

[Zach Shields]

It's a good question because if, if he's trying to do a startup on the side, he's doing his marketing job and he's thinking, maybe I can do full time with these dinosaurs and fulfill my dream.

[Jake Johnson]

Wrong.

[Zach Shields]

Then he's got a good.

[Jake Johnson]

Ross. Is this the. Do you eventually want to take away marketing and be a full time dinosaur man?

[Rob]

I don't think I could make enough doing it.

[Jake Johnson]

No. So it's just a hobby.

[Zach Shields]

I just wanted to know.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but I agree with, I agree with that thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely.

[Jake Johnson]

So Rob, when did it start getting real weird for you with dinosaurs? Because there's a moment where we're all like, man, I'm really into this. And then you go like, I'm weirding out cuz, you know, you called in. Your question is how do we get your wife on board?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's a, it's a wild angle. I'm worried, I'm worried we're not going to be. Let, let's, let's try.

[Jake Johnson]

Obviously that's like the house on fire. And you're like, my question question is, is when is the TCBY open?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

It's like it's a yogurt store, man. Who cares?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm just trying to think of like if I was his wife and I'm on the couch and we're watching a show.

[Derek Waters]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I look over and his laptop's open and he's looking at dinosaurs that.

[Jake Johnson]

After his ninth hour of. Yeah, dinosaurs. I'm like, how many dinosaurs you gotta look at?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It would be a lot.

[Jake Johnson]

It's a lot. Two hours a day is a lot of dinosaurs.

[Derek Waters]

Could you pin why you have this love for dinosaurs? Could you pin it? Like as a child, was there trauma that the dinosaurs healed? Anything?

[Rob]

Actually, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

[Rob]

Yeah. 100.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. What was it?

[Rob]

I. Yeah, I was. When I was younger, I got really sick. I had to this or had and kind of still have this thing called itp. It's like an autoimmune disease. And when I would go to the hospital, I would have a toy dinosaur that was with me and.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. This is beautiful. Now I know how we're gonna get to your wife. Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

So Rob, do you want to tell us a little bit about the photos we're going to see as Jesse puts them up?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe let's throw them up and we can kind of ask questions about. Okay, that's what each one is. Okay. The first one we're seeing is you with a huge dinosaur. I don't. It kind of looks like a half model dinosaur. You've got a big expression on your face. It's. It's big. It's a big. It's big. So now. Now there's also the question made that.

[Derek Waters]

That's impressive, Rob.

[Jake Johnson]

Rob, that is impressive. Thank you.

[Rob]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's also space. How big's your place, Rob, with your wife?

[Rob]

We live in, like, a townhouses type thing. It's like 2200 square feet.

[Jake Johnson]

Can we see the next picture? But it's. I mean, it's a great looking dinosaur.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's great. These are legit. You're making legit stuff.

[Jake Johnson]

You're an artist. Can we see the next one? Wait, how big is that?

[Derek Waters]

Okay, so this is an animatronic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're seeing a T. Rex standing up in your yard.

[Jake Johnson]

Tell us about the T. Rex. That's Outdoor Man. What is that, three feet tall?

[Rob]

Oh, okay. That is about. Yeah, it's about 3ft tall. About 7ft long. That was actually a mold of the original T. Rex from Jurassic Park.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, my man, can you make one of these? As a gorilla? I'll pay you real money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, realizing now, if this is a gorilla.

[Jake Johnson]

Everybody get out of here. Rob, I'm sorry for my tone before. I was wrong. You make a full zoo, I'll give you a quarter of my money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you charge for a full manage?

[Jake Johnson]

I'll get back on TV just to support you. What's. Oh, keep looking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That attack. She's attacking. Good. Good job, Natalie.

[Jake Johnson]

Wow, Rob, now we're looking at one. You're holding.

[Derek Waters]

It looks like you're a fisherman picturing, like, little miniatures.

[Jake Johnson]

A little geek in a basement.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I really was picturing really lame stuff.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, this is cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

These are awesome. Okay, okay, so Rob Rexon's really good at this.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Rob. This is a business, Jack.

[Derek Waters]

Oh, that's you in the movie.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, that's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You remember much?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. No, I don't remember that. You remember it. That's beautiful.

[Rob]

Same areas, Main Street Extra.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I was in Louisiana for mine in a studio.

[Derek Waters]

Okay, this is really good, Rob.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, these are great.

[Jake Johnson]

Now there's a dinosaur on a rock. Wait, you got in a museum?

[Rob]

Yeah, yeah, I have. There's a museum in central Jersey that they. I guess they saw my work and they wanted spectacular.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, let's see another.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This has all changed. A lot.

[Zach Shields]

A lot.

[Derek Waters]

Does your spare tire have the Jurassic park case around it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's great.

[Derek Waters]

On the back of your.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your Wrangler.

[Derek Waters]

On the back of your Wrangler.

[Rob]

I wish I had one.

[Derek Waters]

Yeah, it's a very common thing.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so now. Man, I'm glad. Jesse, you were right to show those photos, Rob. This changes a lot. Yeah. So you're not just playing action figures in your basement. You're an artist. You make huge sculptures of dinosaurs. And your question is, how do I get my wife to accept the fact that my passion is sculpting dinosaurs?

[Rob]

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

[Jake Johnson]

What's her issue with it?

[Rob]

Yeah, the time. It's the amount of time that I take.

[Jake Johnson]

Fair.

[Rob]

Because also, not only is it just the time, but you know, I spend time on the. On Internet forums and stuff like that, trying to see what people are interested in so that I can make them. And then.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, this is simple, right? We're going to cut to the chase on this one. This is simple.

[Rob]

Ball mar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A dinosaur.

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh.

[Jake Johnson]

That'S not it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Start making gorillas.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Come to Pasadena. I'm going to make a financial mistake. My wife and your wife and our kids can do whatever the they want. We don't need them in New Jersey. We don't need them, my man. I need a 90.90foot silverback that I can lay in its arms.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can you build a silver back that Jake and you can live in?

[Jake Johnson]

Here's the thing, Rob. This check will just be all zeros with a one in front. Tell me when to stop.

[Jackie]

You know what I mean?

[Jake Johnson]

I want a gorilla the size of California. And I wanted to fight all the bad guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Jake, that got so sad.

[Jake Johnson]

And he's gonna fight our dads. Yeah. I wanted to find my dad. Dad and tell and Zach's dad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And say start caring about the screenplays and. Because I love you, Gareth. I wanted to have curly hair and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't.

[Jake Johnson]

Don't sweet of me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't want your business.

[Jake Johnson]

That was sweet of me. The truth is, you have a talent. Truth is, from your wife's point of view. What are we calling her again?

[Rob]

Oh, Jackie.

[Jake Johnson]

Jackie. I can also see from Jackie's point of view, Rob, it's too much. Yeah. Zach, what do you think?

[Zach Shields]

I. I just wonder if it's about making a space for yourself outside of the home, you know, a little man cave.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Zach Shields]

Office.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A.

[Zach Shields]

An apartment you rent and you do all your sculpting there.

[Jake Johnson]

We're not suggesting he Gets an apartment where?

[Zach Shields]

Get an apartment. Just fill it with dinosaurs. By the way, Rob, start to bring your kid there.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Zach Shields]

Tell your wife she's not allowed. You can't come into into your special apartment apartment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You buy another house.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Zach Shields]

You put a start a hospital.

[Jake Johnson]

Get a ponytail, maybe get a convertible. And think about an earring in your left.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get a new. Get another wife. It's called I've been married twice.

[Zach Shields]

Okay, Rob, if you didn't know that that's not a joke.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just laughing.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, it's clear his. Get a new place.

[Zach Shields]

Get a place, get far away and do whatever you want.

[Jake Johnson]

All your hobbies that you love.

[Derek Waters]

Be a dinosaur and become.

[Zach Shields]

The real suggestion is dinosaur and becoming. You clearly have a hard time in this, no judgment, monitoring how much time you spend with the dinosaurs. So if you can put it some restraints. Oh, I only do dinosaurs in this location. When I'm at home with my family, no dinosaurs. I go to my special boy apartment that no ladies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh my God, you just called it a special boy. And he was about to say no ladies are allowed. So it is fully a treehouse. It is a 10 year old boy's tree house.

[Jake Johnson]

No, no girls we're getting signing off for a special.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Boys are up here jacking off.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't want a special boy apartment with no girls. A lot where you play with dinosaurs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Excuse me, has a vagina.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. So I'm calling it because my wife has an issue with how much I'm playing with. He goes then fine, I'll create a special boys apartment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about a second house with dinosaurs and no girls alone.

[Jake Johnson]

No way.

[Derek Waters]

Does she know you're calling today.

[Rob]

She doesn't know what I'm calling about. But she's a fan of the show.

[Zach Shields]

She knows what you're calling about, man.

[Jake Johnson]

She's coping 100%.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's got the dinosaur chat.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you knew, did you? Through the door. Crazy.

[Jake Johnson]

I got a question for you. If you started making more money on these dinosaurs, do you think that would change her opinion?

[Rob]

Probably.

[Jake Johnson]

I think so too.

[Rob]

So a little. A little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

A little bit. Look, look, business is business, right? So I got a question for you. For the three footer in the back, seven foot long, what do you charge for that guy?

[Rob]

That I've sold one for four grand.

[Jake Johnson]

And about when you put like hours in, how long has that taken you like for four grands worth of work? Because I'm assuming what is that? You gotta first sculpt that out. You gotta let that Dr. Then you Got to paint. I mean, the. The craftsmanship you do. And I say this because I've been in a lot of weird. Believe it or not, but I've been in a lot of weird junk shops and outdoor stuff looking for animals.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no, we know. I mean, honestly, that's. That's a call on its own.

[Jake Johnson]

All over great countries, I've been negotiating with a bunch of toothless who sell work that's half as good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep it on. What you were going to say about Rob? Cuz you were asking about the hours he logged.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm trying to get him to make me a gorilla.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop trying to get him to make you.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm trying to get a deal.

[Rob]

If. If. If there are zeros involved, I think that'll also help my wife.

[Jake Johnson]

How much do you. How much do you make a year doing marketing? You want to live in my house? I'll create a little boys room. No girls allowed around. It'll be a little boy zone. Actually, I have one. My backyard shed. Oh, no. I bought it. I built a boys room during the pandemic. And my wife and girl. My daughter and my daughters. My wife going to. Won't go in there because there's ants and spiders, AKA no girls allowed. I can't believe I built a boys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you do jiu jitsu? Do you have any interest in it?

[Jake Johnson]

Can you build a sculpture of a dummy? I could beat it. Just make him look tough.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Make another Jake that he could fight with in the garage.

[Jake Johnson]

No way. We would both. We would both be hurt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Start kissing. What's happening?

[Jake Johnson]

We both quit because our cardio is bad. So. All right, so hold on, because here's what I'm kind of thinking. Wrong job. Why don't you get on squarespace.com here to help? It's our promo code.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Jake Johnson]

And build a website of these and let's see if we can help blow up the business. You're not the only dinosaur fan. Hell, I was in the goddamn movie. So. I like them too. A lot of people like them. I can hook you up with College who directed it. He might want to buy one. You might give a deal to him. Him. You've got a beautiful look here. Maybe we just slow down the dinosaur and build up the artist.

[Zach Shields]

Yeah, it's all dinosaurs for him, maybe.

[Jake Johnson]

So our question to you is it just if. If we said, like, hey, would you ever. If somebody said, would you sculpt my dog? Would you be like, yeah, I'll get into that. Or if you're like, I don't have any art if it ain't a dinosaur. Where are you?

[Derek Waters]

Does your dog look like a dinosaur?

[Rob]

I have done. I have done other things before. I do mainly dinosaurs.

[Jake Johnson]

I know you do, but you can do everything.

[Derek Waters]

You could. Can you do animatronic? Can this.

[Rob]

No.

[Derek Waters]

Make this T. Rex?

[Rob]

No, I just strictly live in like the three. I do 3D sculpting. So it's all like I worry and.

[Jake Johnson]

Can these live outdoors?

[Rob]

It depends on the material that I use. But some of them can.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. How much for a full size gorilla that can live outdoors? I'm just asking for, but I'm just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thinking in the beginning of the show. I know for the show. Yeah, it is sort of. But still it's very.

[Jake Johnson]

No, this is. I'm trying to think of a pitch but what would be a number for with that level of detail? A six footer, 350 pound gorilla. The kind of gorillas. It is a pitch. The kind of gorilla that if you met in the jungle. Watch out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's every gorilla talking about.

[Jake Johnson]

The kind of gorilla that if it hung with Robin Williams in an Instagram video, Robin and the gorilla would connect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You want a cocoa? You want a home based cocoa?

[Jake Johnson]

I wouldn't be mad@coco.

[Gareth Reynolds]

OK, answer his question and then we'll try to fix your problem because I think he's creating more holes in the dam.

[Jake Johnson]

But how much would something like that cost?

[Rob]

Probably like 4, 4 to 6,000, depending on what it is. And it'll probably end up looking more like Congo. Something a little scarier.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get ready to make a family. Gorillas. That's all. That's all. I can tell.

[Jake Johnson]

I got your email, Rob. We got to figure out shipping baby.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can you make one with a stomach that has ant traps in it so that Jake can put it in his little boy shed and back?

[Jake Johnson]

All right. I don't want it anymore. Now I'm embarrassed. So, Rob, what do you think about going in the direction that you're not a dinosaur geek, you're an artist. I'll tell you what, I think your wife's gonna like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The issue will still remain that it's the amount of time because we're talking about making like even if you're transitioning, he has a job right now, full time job. So there is also the component of how do you communicate to her. But what do you think of that? Just like gut instinct on something like that.

[Rob]

Rob, on this kind of moving into a different scope.

[Jake Johnson]

Just leaning into. It's this, this isn't a dinosaur problem. This is a supplemental job that I do where I'm a sculptor.

[Rob]

I feel like I'm just going to relapse to be honest with you.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, I appreciate the honesty. Natak, can you jump on for a second? Hey, what's a female point of view here? What are we missing? Yeah, I have a point of view. You. I know you were going to say afterwards. We were all off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I said afterwards. That was sexy.

[Jake Johnson]

What she's been doing afterwards is when we're done, she'll go, you missed it. You should have said that.

[Zach Shields]

Oh, nice.

[Jake Johnson]

And I felt like we were banging our heads against the wall. So what do you think? Matt, I'm so sorry. Okay, so I think that if you don't, if you're never going to make.

[Rob]

Enough money to make.

[Jake Johnson]

To do this full time, then you need to ease back and have better balance between your full time job, this hobby and your family. Because you're trying to do too much and your family's getting the brunt of it. Zach hates this advice. You have to scale it. He's building a little boy cabin in his head and he's leaving the podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, this is why you don't let girls into little boys club. I think that's a very.

[Jake Johnson]

This is why you don't like. Because that's a really smart answer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pretty rational.

[Jake Johnson]

But this isn't why. This is why we have no girls allowed on our little boys rooms because we're telling you to build more animals.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Natalie, here's what happens now. Jake doesn't get his gorilla family and Zach can't have fun with the dinosaurs in his yard. So I hope you're happy out there.

[Jake Johnson]

Or. Or commit. Commit and make it your full time thing and really go after it. So leave the family. Rob, when you hear both of those. Because I actually think Nat Attack is dead. Right? Where's your head at? You want to lean in, you want to lean out or you want to go? A third option. And that is we will pitch to try to how to. How to convince your wife that this is not cuz when we did the hours of your day. Right? Rob, I gotta be honest with you as a friend, man. And this is from gorilla guy to dinosaur guy. It's a lot of hours on dinosaurs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jack, that's.

[Jake Johnson]

That's too many.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is. It's really that moment in the evening that you're supposed to spend with your wife.

[Jake Johnson]

It's not only that for me. We're six to seven in the morning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, he's staying up till Three.

[Jake Johnson]

I know, but you're not sleeping.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, that's sleep. Four hours of sleep. And then he gets up and he's like. He's hanging out with a dinosaur child. And then he's working.

[Derek Waters]

First thing is roar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And what she's thinking is kids names, Rob.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. And she's thinking, like, brand. This is bad. Now imagine in five years. Imagine in 10 years. So she's seeing the problem and she's trying to stop it. Now, Rob, you want. Should we pitch on how for you to pull back and schedule? Should we pitch on how do you lean in? Or should we pitch on a new version? And that is how do we convince this woman that you got it all figured out?

[Zach Shields]

His answer is going to tell you everything.

[Jake Johnson]

That's what we need to know.

[Rob]

Now, I think cabin to scale back a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. So Zach is alone in a little boy's cabin right now.

[Zach Shields]

Yeah. You're not going to have two marriages behind you.

[Jake Johnson]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Way to go, Rob. You want to make the marriage work. We offered you the keys to Hollywood, but you chose.

[Jake Johnson]

So scaling back is the move. Is that. And that's what you want to do?

[Rob]

Yeah. For just so everybody's happy.

[Jake Johnson]

Because your call.

[Rob]

Get stuff done.

[Jake Johnson]

But, Rob, your call was, how do I get my wife on board? Well, we judged pretty hard, but we did it as friends.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're trying to. To maintain your dinosaur passion, but your wife feels a little iced out because it does sound like you're the guy who's like, if. It's like you. If you had a social media addiction. You're constantly refreshing your phone. You're always an arm's reach away from the dinosaur I got a question for you, Rob.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Is your wife nearby?

[Rob]

No, she's in the. She's in the house that I'm in currently.

[Jake Johnson]

That's not nearby? No, Rob, that is nearby. I mean, could you ask her to come on the phone and can we talk to her for a little bit?

[Rob]

It okay. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And Rob, are you comfortable if we tell her that we talk to you about the amount of hours and start getting a point of view from her about how many hours is enough?

[Rob]

Sure.

[Jake Johnson]

Is there anything you told us you don't want us to reveal right now we're back in the little boys.

[Rob]

No, I think she knows. She knows pretty much everything.

[Jake Johnson]

All right. Can you get her on the phone?

[Rob]

Yep. Hold on one second.

[Jake Johnson]

Thanks, bud.

[Derek Waters]

I'm also curious if they're in Florida for Universal Studios Jurassic park ride. I'm dead serious.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I honestly. He's probably like, don't turn that up to her. Oh, wait, that is down the street. Oh, we're are staying at Universal, honey.

[Jake Johnson]

They want to talk. Thanks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This conversation right now. Hey, honey, will you be on the podcast? It's about dinosaurs.

[Jake Johnson]

Hello.

[Jackie]

Is it on me?

[Rob]

No, it's off you.

[Jake Johnson]

Hello. Hi, how are you?

[Jackie]

I am doing well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How are you?

[Jake Johnson]

Good. We're just talking about Robin's dinosaurs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're just talking about baseball. Rob's two passions. We've really spent most of the time on baseball.

[Jake Johnson]

So can we get your name? Can we get your name, please?

[Jackie]

My name is Jackie.

[Jake Johnson]

Jackie. So here's what we know, Jackie. You got a great marriage. Your husband loves you like crazy, loves the sun, everything's working. You're down in Florida. Let me ask you a quick question, Derek. What did you want to ask really fast?

[Derek Waters]

We just want to make sure. Are you in Florida for the Universal Studios Jurassic park ride or just for vacation?

[Jackie]

It's just for vacation.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Have you gone on the ride?

[Jackie]

Would be here for that.

[Jake Johnson]

But have you gone on the ride before?

[Jackie]

Yeah, not this year.

[Jake Johnson]

Not this year. Okay, so I got a question for you. If we look when we looked at Rob's schedule, I'm gonna just be honest with you now, Jackie. We're looking at 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and a half, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. We're looking at a 24 hour day. He's got about 9 and a half to 10 hours of thinking about dinosaurs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is shocking.

[Derek Waters]

Jackie, we're trying to help cut it down.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. What's a number that you would be comfortable with with your husband looking at websites of dinosaurs, making dinosaur out, emailing other people about dinosaurs, living in the world of dinosaurs. You got a 24 hour thing. The guy's not sleeping. No, don't think about the eight hours of sleep. How many hours a day are you comfortable with this man thinking about dinosaurs?

[Jackie]

I mean, thinking about him? I'm pretty sure it's more than 10 hours.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He goes, his dreams are what he's excited about.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Zach Shields]

It's three hours of drinking, three hours.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of sleep where he's just like, oh, all right.

[Jake Johnson]

You're dead. Right? We're not talking about thinking, but he is actively online or making. We're talking about 10 in a day.

[Zach Shields]

Yeah.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Zach Shields]

Well, Jackie, what do you. What are your feelings about dinosaurs?

[Derek Waters]

Yeah.

[Zach Shields]

First.

[Jackie]

I never had any feelings about them before we started dating, and now neither. But now I'm, I'm. Now I, I like how he found something that Makes him happy.

[Jake Johnson]

That's sweet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. So Jack is a winner.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a very good relationship.

[Zach Shields]

And you understand. And you understand. Understand where his love of dinosaurs comes from.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but who cares? We're talking 10 hours out of 20. We're not going deep on this. Jackie gets it. Jackie's a winner. So, Jackie. Zach, I'm gonna tell you what. The guy just talking wanted to pitch really fast. He said maybe get an apartment away where you put all your.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't worry, Jackie. You would never see.

[Jake Johnson]

I have a sign that says no girls alive.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You wouldn't be allowed in the building. Jackie.

[Jake Johnson]

He wanted to create a little boy shed. So his tone there just disrespect, you know, it's over. We're good, Jackie.

[Zach Shields]

So I'm embarrassed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, Jackie, I'll sign the.

[Jake Johnson]

You. You. And here, let. I'll also let you know this. He called in, said, how do I get my wife on board with my dinosaur obsession? After talking about it, he said, I think I've gone a little bit too far. Maybe this call is. He loves what he's got cooking at home. And he's like, maybe we got to figure out how much dinosaur stuff is too much because he's got an unregulated problem and there's some spillage going on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me explain to you, Jackie. During this call, there was a time where Jake was trying to get your husband to make him an enormous gorilla, potentially a family of gorillas.

[Jake Johnson]

You say that in the jacket.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake drove your shirtless. We were going to maybe have your husband start a whole new business. We've come back down to Earth. We're now living in the real world again. And we had. Sometimes you got to go to space to remember what atmosphere we're in. So. So now we're back.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we're just trying to figure out the best way. Way to make this work. I think we're all astounded at the amount of hours he's living with the dinosaurs. It seems like at night he stays up late to do his dinosaurs. He does till 3am which seems crazy, but if he can handle it, he can handle it.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but hold on. No, you were so right. And then you ended with a weird. If he can handle it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not going to be shamed by the gorilla guy.

[Jake Johnson]

Look in the. Look at your hair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look at you.

[Jake Johnson]

It used to be that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It still is.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Jackie, 10 hours is too much. How many hours is right? I mean, be honest here.

[Jackie]

Whatever he wants.

[Jake Johnson]

Jackie, stop. No, Jackie, after. But hold on how many hours in a day are you comfortable with Rob interacting with humans, reading about, playing with dinosaurs?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Two hours.

[Derek Waters]

Can I phrase it? How many hours do you need with your husband?

[Jackie]

So I would love, because we were with our son until he goes to bed at 8. So it's like, it's nice to have like an hour, two hours together, then I go to sleep. But then he can, you know.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but then the problem is he's never going to sleep then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have you thought about getting your own apartment where no boys are allowed?

[Jake Johnson]

So you're saying two hours and you don't care what he does while he's at work? Work. You're saying two hours post 6pm a night on Dinosaurs. But when you're asleep, who cares?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. When the cat's away. Yeah, I think it's that time after the child is. Is asleep before you go to bed at a reasonable hour and he does his crack dinosaur evening. I think it's that time when you want to watch a show together. He has to just be very present for that.

[Jake Johnson]

No dinosaurs between 8pm and 9:30.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. I think after the kid goes to bed, like Dinosaurs is when you're asleep, he can go dinosaur.

[Jake Johnson]

But what do you think of that, Jackie? If we say from the second the kid goes to bed until you go to bed, no dinosaurs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jackie]

That I, I would be definitely good with. Because if you would give us more.

[Jake Johnson]

Focus time on morning, you're fine. What he does during work is fine. What you do when he goes to bed is fine. When the baby falls asleep until you go, I'm going to Night kiss. Love you. Not one dinosaur.

[Rob]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Because I think we can close this deal, Jackie, we close this deal. Zach and Derek, your thoughts on this? Is this a deal we could close?

[Zach Shields]

I think it's a deal. You can.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm not asking you, actually. Yes.

[Derek Waters]

I'm also going to throw out. It's also great if you found something that you're like, this is something I like to do by myself.

[Jake Johnson]

Agreed.

[Derek Waters]

And that you both have independent space.

[Jake Johnson]

And then you can each get your own little apartment.

[Zach Shields]

She's looking for time together.

[Derek Waters]

No, I'm saying you still have time together. But yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. So Jackie, if we can close with. If Rob will fully agree and not the bullshit. Yeah. I'm on a podcast. But we're going to follow up with him and we're going to follow up with him a lot because I'm about to do business.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm a follow for a while, by the way. I'm going to show him how to be present when he's living in my garage. He's gonna.

[Jake Johnson]

He's gonna cost me a lot of money, but I can't have him distracted with his dinosaur stuff. It's all gorillas all the time, by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're saying the same thing, guys. Focus on the silverback business.

[Jake Johnson]

You're the angel on one shoulder trying to get him to be at home. I'm the devil trying to get him into the gorilla game, so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gorilla game.

[Jake Johnson]

There's a lot of money in gorillas, baby boy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't believe there are.

[Jake Johnson]

There's not. So, Jackie, if you're good, if we can close with that afterwards. When you guys are talking about this, are you going to say, I'm really glad he called in that podcast. Our life in our home is better. I hope so, because I'm looking for a. I'm looking for a follow up where we can ring the bell and we've all won here. And I think our audiences, too. We don't want this because a long call to end it. Nothing changed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Because I'm looking for a real deal here with Rob, and I'm about to get hard on his ass.

[Jackie]

Okay. Yep, we will definitely report back.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Can you throw Robbie back on the phone?

[Jackie]

Absolutely. Good talking, you guys.

[Jake Johnson]

Good talking. Jackie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jackie.

[Rob]

Hello?

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Rob.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's Jake, Gareth and Zach and Derek.

[Jake Johnson]

We have an offer to present to you, but there can't be any. We did a lot of negotiating with Jackie. We have something that I think we can close, but it's got to be real and you got to actually do it. Okay, now, we're saying this now as your lawyers. I think this is the best deal that we can get. Zach, go ahead.

[Zach Shields]

No, I'm just saying there's some room to negotiate.

[Jake Johnson]

Zach, stop talking. Okay?

[Zach Shields]

Just. There was a little. I was just going to say every night of the week, all of the.

[Jake Johnson]

POV there to interrupt. Hold on, Rob. I'm so sorry, my man. What was your thought there, my man?

[Zach Shields]

I just thought that you said lawyers. And I thought, well, if I'm advising him, maybe I could say just every night of the week, we're going to come every night. Maybe one.

[Jake Johnson]

But we didn't. We didn't agree with that. But we didn't agree with that with her.

[Zach Shields]

Yeah, that's how you negotiate.

[Jake Johnson]

No, that's how you end up in a little boy's cabin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, we're going to skew your wife.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gonna rake her over the co. No.

[Jake Johnson]

That'S not what we're doing here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Will she wear a dinosaur costume?

[Zach Shields]

Rob, don't listen to me, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The answer's right in front of.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Rob, here's our pitch to you. Okay? We're gonna go back to your daily schedule. Yeah. Six to seven family with a little bit of dinosaur stuff. Who cares, right? Seven to eight.

[Rob]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

Dinosaurs eight to 12. Work one hour. Dinosaurs 12 to one, lunch dinosaurs. And one to six. You said an hour and a half of that. Dinosaurs 6 to 8 while your son's awake. Mostly family. You should know part of the negotiation with Natak was zero dinosaurs. But Jackie said some dinosaurs in. That is fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Derek Waters]

All right.

[Jake Johnson]

Some is fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Then when your son goes to bed until Jackie goes to bed, no dinosaurs when she goes to bed. Dinosaurs until you go to bed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And by the way, get a little more sleep, my guy.

[Jake Johnson]

But that's a different thing. That's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The next.

[Derek Waters]

Dinosaurs will look better with better sleep.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but I don't think they could. They look perfect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Derek Waters]

Seen in his dreams.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but, Rob, can we close right now? On the second your son goes to bed until your wife goes to bed. And you're not allowed to rush her either. Tired, honey?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You look exhausted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You must be tired.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. You gotta be straight up, Rob.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look at these new sheets.

[Rob]

Look at this.

[Jake Johnson]

Why are you pushing my head into a pillow?

[Gareth Reynolds]

There you go. Go to bed.

[Jake Johnson]

I need to play with dinosaurs.

[Derek Waters]

Dinosaur sheets.

[Jake Johnson]

Go to bed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go to bed. You've been on 8:30.

[Jake Johnson]

Can't fake that. She needs more sleep or anything like that. That. Here's what we're thinking. From the moment that boy goes to bed, until that woman goes to bed, no dinosaurs. The rest of your day is exactly the same. Rob, this is a fucking deal you close on. Zach, don't say anything. So, Rob, when you hear that deal, now we need the truth from you because we're going to follow up with you a lot. Is this a. And when we follow up, we're following up with Jackie, too. Is this a deal you can close on.

[Rob]

Sorry, say again.

[Jake Johnson]

This a deal that you're comfortable closing on. And that is all the dinosaurs we've said from 6am until you. When. Here's what you're agreeing to right now. When your son goes to sleep until your wife goes to sleep, nothing. Dinosaur.

[Rob]

I can give it a shot. I can do it.

[Jake Johnson]

No, no, no, no, no. This is like negotiating with a country about a war. We're either in war or we're not at war. Not. I guess I can give A peace treaty. A shot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You gonna fire another missile or is the war.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm saying, when we're watching the show with Jackie, you don't open the laptop and casually scroll.

[Jake Johnson]

There's. Hey, Rob. There's no dinosaurs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a good deal, by the way.

[Derek Waters]

Rob, they don't exist.

[Jake Johnson]

They don't exist until that woman goes to the boys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's not. It's not a. Attack him.

[Jake Johnson]

So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rob, they're real.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you think? Here, buddy?

[Rob]

Yeah. I say yes.

[Jake Johnson]

So I want you then to present it to your wife when we're done. And that is from the second that my. Our son goes to sleep until you go to sleep. There will be no dinosaurs. If I slip up, please give me grace. I'm figuring this out. I got. I don't know if you know this, but I have a little bit of an addiction to dinosaurs.

[Zach Shields]

But.

[Jake Johnson]

But those are off. When you go to bed, I'll do the dinosaurs. And. What Jackie said she loves you like crazy. She's happy with the arrangement. She said she would be thrilled with that deal. You're thrilled with that deal?

[Rob]

I'm. Yeah, I'm thrilled. I can do that.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Rob, let's pop some champagne, baby.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You got this, Rob.

[Jake Johnson]

You got this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There we go. Keep us posted. We'll follow.

[Derek Waters]

Keep us posted. And be open to what she might enjoy doing together with you. Like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And it's also. It's going to take you a minute to form some new neural pathways in this world.

[Jake Johnson]

And also. Guys, get out of the car. Yeah, because we just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can you put your son on the. Put your son on the.

[Jake Johnson]

Also. You guys see, we were going towards the deal. Zach sees what I'm saying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Zach Shields]

I'm trying not to say Zach.

[Jake Johnson]

Any final thoughts? What would you like Rob to do inside?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I thought we'd get out the car.

[Zach Shields]

We were. No, I was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait.

[Zach Shields]

I think that you should try your hardest because there's a whole new horizon for you out there with your wife.

[Jake Johnson]

Wife.

[Zach Shields]

Spending quality time away from dinosaurs. You might find an obsession with her, a new thing. Just open your arms. Sculpting her.

[Jake Johnson]

Sculpting her head with her.

[Zach Shields]

She might be into gorillas.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Rob, please follow up with us. Also, your work is beautiful, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great work.

[Jake Johnson]

And please create a website for the work you do, and we'll post it on the show. Your work is Phake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Emails. You on the side. Do not respond.

[Jake Johnson]

Rob, if Jake emails.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not kidding. Do respond.

[Jake Johnson]

Respond.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do not respond.

[Derek Waters]

My closing thoughts real quick. Is it's great to have a hobby. The only thing worse than having a hobby is having nobody. So just try to remember that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There you go.

[Jake Johnson]

My closing thing is, we gotta go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thanks, buddy.

[Jake Johnson]

No, also, if you're hobby gorillas, you'd be a better stupid old dinosaur. Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rob. Rob, hang up. Rob, you have to hang up.

[Zach Shields]

Thanks, Rob.

[Jake Johnson]

Ron.

[Rob]

All right, we need you to hang up.

[Derek Waters]

Have fun in Florida.

[Jake Johnson]

Hi, my name is Kevin. I'm calling from Scranton, Pennsylvania. Yes, Scranton. Like, from the office. I just want to call in and voice my concern over the unapproved dispatch of Pigley and Mo. Last I checked, we're still a democracy, despite what's going on in this country. And a wise man once said, many voices who sound loud will drown out the idiocies of the few. I think I speak for many others when I say the sudden dispatch of Piggly and Mo is not only appalling, but just downright wrong. I say we hold this to a vote to enshrine Pigley and Mo into the show. And should they be enshrined, their presence shall not be infringed upon. I love you both. Thank you. Okay, read your last intro on Monday. What's up Day?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is it Monday?

[Jake Johnson]

May 26th. Today's Memorial Day. Okay. Pig name Mo. Yeah, it was bad. It was bad. The amount that you guys were using them. I think it was just the number of times in a row we were hearing Pigley. Mo was just excessive. Like, I don't know. We just. We expected more.

[Jackie]

We.

[Jake Johnson]

You guys can do better than that. And re. Also Nonna. N O, N, N A spells Nonna, considering she's Italian. So let's get it together, guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I genuinely love Piggly and Mo. They make me laugh so hard.

[Jake Johnson]

Always.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Always do Piggly and Mo. I don't care if I'm in the minority. You guys rock. Always do it. Thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

Hearing you guys address Piggly and Mo is so satisfying. I have a friend who listens to the show, and we'll just write each other complaining about Piggly and Mo and how much we hate it. And we keep listening. And every time I'm listening and they come up, I'm wondering, how much longer can I keep doing this? It made sense the one time when it was someone's mom who didn't know what podcasts were or something, and then suddenly you're suggesting that someone should show a voice recording to their roommates and that will make sense or something, and they're not. They're not that funny. You guys Are funny. They're not that funny. So, yeah, I'd say kill them. Kill them off. Thanks, guys. I love the show. Really.

[Jackie]

Good morning, Jake, Gareth, NAT Attack and crew. My name is Amanda. I'm from Northern California. California. And I have to tell you guys that yesterday, as I was minding my own business, enjoying my Memorial Day off, doing some yard work, catching up on my pod, because I was about an episode and a half behind, I heard some disturbing news and I had to stop and immediately email because I heard heard that some listeners are not happy with Pigley and Mo and wish for less Piggly and Mo. And I have to tell you right now, they are wrong. And if that is their hot take, they need to find a different podcast because I love when Piglymo come on. And to be honest with you, my sister and I, Christine from Illinois, we love Piggly Mo to the point that if somebody is having a problem in our lives, we will suggest that we heard on an episode. We make up our own Pigly and Mo. Anyways, do not ever let Pigliamo go. We love them. We always, you know, we never know when in life we're gonna need a lawyer and a doctor. And I love that we always have Pigley and Mo ready to go at any turn. So do not let the haters hate and bring Piggly and Mo down. Keep it up. Love you guys.

[Zach Shields]

This is Jason calling from Deep River, Connecticut. Love the show, Jake and Gareth. And to be honest, I love Piggly and Mo and here's why. Piggly and Mo is a movie mirror to the world we've created. We created a stupid world full of stupid people listening to stupid podcasts on which a bunch of dipshits talk about things they know nothing about. And that's exactly what Piggly and Mo is. And it is so realistic. And it is the perfect tactic to solve so many of your calls. I would be very sad if you stopped using it. Long live Piggly and Mo.

[Jake Johnson]

Piggly. Hey, guys.

[Zach Shields]

I don't necessarily hate Piggly and Mo.

[Jake Johnson]

I actually think they can work in certain situations. But for me, it's that it doesn't stand up to any scrutiny the moment.

[Zach Shields]

You look for that podcast or the moment you ask, oh, what podcast is that from?

[Jake Johnson]

I want to listen to it. Well, then it falls apart.

[Zach Shields]

I like the advice that can stand.

[Jake Johnson]

The test of time, that can work. Work long term.

[Zach Shields]

And so Piggly and Mo, while fun.

[Jake Johnson]

Just doesn't do that.

[Zach Shields]

All right, Love you guys.

[Jake Johnson]

Piggly and Moe idea.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Embrace the weird.

[Jake Johnson]

It's two guys who pretend to be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A pig and his farm friend, so.

[Jake Johnson]

They just talk back and forth like, hey there, Mo. What's going on today? Well, Piggly, I think maybe we should talk about this article I read online recently.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that sounds interesting.

[Jake Johnson]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod gmail.com. and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grim Productions Executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis. Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike. Animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Jake Johnson]

All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com heretohelpod hi, I'm Jesse Klein. And I'm Liz Feldman. And we're the hosts of a new Headgum podcast called Here to Make Friends.

[Jackie]

Liz and I met in the writers room on a little hit TV show called Dead to Me, which is a show about murder.

[Jake Johnson]

But more importantly, it's also about two women becoming very good friends in their.

[Jackie]

40S, which can really happen.

[Jake Johnson]

And it has happened to us. It's true. Because life has imitated ours and then it imitated life.

[Jackie]

Time is a flat circle. And now we're making a podcast that's.

[Jake Johnson]

About making friends and we're inviting incredible guests like Vanessa Barrett. Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have so much to say.

[Jake Johnson]

Lisa Kudrow Feelings, They're a nuisance. Nick Ro.

[Zach Shields]

I just wanted to say hi.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm Matt Rogers. I'm, like, on the verge of tears.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So good, so good to join us.

[Jake Johnson]

And hopefully become our friends in real life.

[Jackie]

Yeah, Take it out of the podcast.

[Jake Johnson]

Studio and into real life.

[Jackie]

Along the way, we are also going to talk about dating.

[Jake Johnson]

Yep. Spousing. True. Parenting. Careering.

[Jackie]

And why we love Thelma and Louise. And it's the greatest movie of all time.

[Jake Johnson]

Shouldn't need to be said.

[Jackie]

No, we said it.

[Jake Johnson]

It's just a true thing. So please subscribe to Here to make friends Friends on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket.

[Jackie]

Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jake Johnson]

And watch video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Friday.