180: Hotdog Party & Backdoor Boys

Summary

Podcast Summary: "We're Here to Help" Episode 180: "Hotdog Party & Backdoor Boys"

Release Date: June 16, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode 180 of "We're Here to Help", hosts Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds tackle two unusual and humorous listener dilemmas. The episode, titled "Hotdog Party & Backdoor Boys", showcases their trademark blend of wit and genuine attempts to assist callers facing perplexing situations.

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Conversation on Tattoos (00:02 - 02:58)

The episode begins with Jake and Gareth engaging in a lighthearted discussion about tattoos, particularly Gareth's near-tattoo experience inspired by the book "The Giving Tree". Gareth shares his teenage plans to get a tattoo honoring his mother, Eve, and how societal perceptions of tattoos in the 1990s influenced his decision.

Gareth Reynolds (00:58): "Based off my love of my mother, Eve, and the book she used to read to me, the Giving Tree... I was going to get my initials plus hers."

Jake finds Gareth’s teenage tattoo aspirations endearing, reflecting on how tattoos were viewed differently during that era in Chicago.

---

Caller 1: JoJo from Texas (12:23 - 40:36)

Caller Details:

• Name: JoJo
• Location: Texas
• Age: 36

JoJo's Dilemma: JoJo recounts a strange situation at her workplace where a friendly coffee lady repeatedly mistakes her for someone else, mentioning a hot dog party that JoJo never hosted. This ongoing confusion has left JoJo seeking advice on how to handle the mix-up and possibly locate her doppelganger.

Notable Exchange:

JoJo (12:34): "At one point, though, she asked me about a hot dog party that I was having for my employees, which is definitely not a thing that I was doing."

Hosts' Advice: Jake and Gareth brainstorm unconventional solutions to help JoJo resolve the confusion, including:

• Creating a Fake Hot Dog Party: To deflect the mistaken identity.
• Launching a Campaign with Signs and Photos: To identify the actual person.
• Conducting a Stakeout in Disguise: To observe and gather more information.

Gareth humorously inquires:

Gareth Reynolds (17:32): "What the hell's a hot dog party?"

Despite the playful banter, the hosts offer practical steps for JoJo, emphasizing creativity and proactive measures.

---

Caller 2: Producer Sherlock (Nick) from Utah (42:30 - 78:57)

Caller Details:

• Name: Nick (also referred to as Producer Sherlock)
• Location: Utah
• Age: Approximately 30

Nick's Concern: Nick is troubled by his father's persistent activity on Instagram, specifically following and commenting on a page titled "Women's Butts". This behavior has become more pronounced, leading Nick to seek advice on addressing his father’s online actions.

Notable Exchange:

Nick (46:03): "People could see what you like and what you comment on on Instagram... it's mainly for him to kind of, like, be a little bit of a horn dog."

Hosts' Humorous Guidance: Jake and Gareth address the issue with their characteristic humor:

• Gareth (50:00): "Have you ever used the bidet?"
• Jake (56:40): "Brazilian Wax."

Ultimately, they recommend a Brazilian wax as a lighthearted yet effective solution to reduce sweating, which might be contributing to the unwanted stains Nick experiences during gym sessions.

Follow-Up Call: In a later segment, Nick (referred to as Opal) provides an update on his father's continuing online behavior. Despite Nick’s efforts to communicate with his father, the situation remains unchanged.

Nick (72:05): "I... I'm afraid of what I might... stones I might have been turned."

The hosts discuss potential strategies, such as subtly engaging with his father's social media activity to influence his behavior, but acknowledge the complexity of the situation.

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Conclusion

Episode 180 of "We're Here to Help" masterfully balances humor with genuine problem-solving. Through JoJo’s bewildering workplace mix-up and Nick’s discomfort with his father's online antics, Jake and Gareth demonstrate their ability to entertain while attempting to offer practical advice. The episode underscores the hosts' commitment to supporting listeners, even when faced with the most unconventional challenges.

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Notable Quotes:

• Gareth Reynolds (00:58): "Based off my love of my mother, Eve..."
• JoJo (12:34): "At one point, though, she asked me about a hot dog party that I was having for my employees..."
• Nick (46:03): "People could see what you like and what you comment on on Instagram..."
• Jake Johnson (56:40): "Brazilian Wax."

---

This comprehensive summary outlines the key discussions and humorous interactions between the hosts and callers, providing a clear overview for those who haven't listened to the episode.

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

This is a Headgun podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we are back. Cool tattoos, Natalie.

[Jake Johnson]

Boy, are we well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thanks. What are the tats? What's left arm?

[Natalie]

This one is from the Golden Compass.

[Jake Johnson]

Wow.

[Natalie]

Fantasy book. Big nerd.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a compass. And what's on top of that? A kangaroo.

[JoJo]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, it's a mouse. Cool.

[Jake Johnson]

No tattoos, Jake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Me? No. You know, a tattoo I almost got at 15, and I am so happy I don't have. I think I've told you this, Gareth.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Based off my love of my mother, Eve, and the book she used to read to me, the Giving Tree. I was the best, but I was gonna get a tree stump on my ankle. And then when I was married, I was gonna get my initials plus hers. And then when we had kids, I was gonna have roots going down into my feet.

[Jake Johnson]

And I thought, like, this was planned at 15. It's endearing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Feeling caught.

[Jake Johnson]

It's endearing. I find it endearing. But also, does it change anything that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm wearing American flag shorts?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, you're deer. A trash pile. But wait, so you never got it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

So 15 was a big transitionary year for the old Jakester.

[Jake Johnson]

Whoa.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was the year I dropped out of school. There was a lot cooking.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And in that year, I just didn't do it that year. And then when I went back to school, I didn't do it. And then a couple. Like, I kept thinking I was gonna. And then I hit, like, 17, and I thought, oh, my God, I almost had a tree stump on my foot with, like, roots going in.

[Natalie]

Who was gonna give you a tattoo at 15?

[Nick]

This is gonna be like someone's 19.

[Gareth Reynolds]

1990S. Chicago would have been fine.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Back when tattoos were very different, and it was like. Tattoos are scary.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You could have gotten them pretty easily.

[Jake Johnson]

That Giving Tree would have looked like shit too. It was terrible. Yeah.

[Natalie]

So did you tell your mom that you were thinking about this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. If I told Eve this, she wouldn't have been into it. She doesn't like tattoos.

[Jake Johnson]

It's wild. It's a wild move.

[Natalie]

Mom hates tattoos.

[Producer Sherlock]

She almost cried when I came home.

[Jake Johnson]

With my half sleeve.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How many tats do you have, bro?

[Jake Johnson]

A lot.

[Natalie]

Yeah, he's got one for his mom, and she still doesn't.

[Jake Johnson]

She didn't love. Yeah. Pandering.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's. I mean, she hates him.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it's a. It's a little bittersweet of a gift. It's like giving an alcoholic Johnny. Like Johnny Walker Blue.

[Jake Johnson]

It's really. For once, she dies. Hey. All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I will say, guys. I will say, Rob, you sounded like me there. It's just too much. I hear you when I say that kind of stuff. It's shocking when you hear it. Yeah, no, I love her a lot, but it's more when she's just a meat sack in the ground for me to say, like, you know, thanks.

[Jake Johnson]

Telling them. My. My mother's like, sending power of attorney emails right now, and I'm like, can we just not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Is she really?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How's mom doing?

[Jake Johnson]

She's good. But, you know, we're all. That's nothing compared to my dad. My dad's been working on his will for eight years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And he doesn't have that much stuff. And he's always like, I've updated it. I'm like, I don't. I'm like, dude, you have like two file cabinets. Like, what are you talking about?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The guy who keeps working on the will, and everyone's like, like, it's fine.

[Jake Johnson]

Like a car in his garage. That is like his dream car. He's like, we're getting closer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll tell you what. Eve did something after Croco died. He had a great will. Very thought out. Very, very appreciative. You go afterwards, you're like, homeboy thought of everything. And so I brought it up to Eve and I was like, what are you thinking? And she goes, here's what I'm thinking. Don't just throw my clothes out in Goodwill. And I go, what would you like me to do with a 10 year old T shirt? It's not Goodwill. She goes, I don't want my stuff in Goodwill. And I literally went, I don't know what to do with all your clothes. Then what, do I have to save them? I'm not a 75 year old woman. We have different frames. I have to happen to be close to a woman who's your size and go, want old sweatpants things.

[Jake Johnson]

That is a great. That's a great thing to put in your will. Just to be like, don't donate these.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't get rid of my stuff. Well, now you're dead.

[Natalie]

They're so attracted to Pam because.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's that?

[Jake Johnson]

What's your problem?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep. Keep going now.

[Natalie]

No, you're so attracted to Pam, your. Your love of older women because you're looking for someone to take these clothes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Again. That it's different when I say it. Hearing it too soon.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. What you're doing is just. It's not. It's like, it's not a bit. That's the problem. You're entering like.

[Producer Sherlock]

Are they similar sizes?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe at this point, I don't know.

[Producer Sherlock]

Will Pam fit in her.

[Jake Johnson]

We're not gonna be dressing Pam and Neve outfits. So that's. Let's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, if I did and I liked it, what am I really saying?

[Jake Johnson]

Actually, maybe it is good because it should get you further away from whatever's been happening, but it doesn't. That's the tone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Agree.

[Jake Johnson]

The fact that you're also just wearing a. Like a shower curtain as your shorts just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I thought you were getting on my shirt too. And for that also, it's.

[Jake Johnson]

So you're back. You're back in your house from Alaska.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm back home for. I fly back Wednesday.

[Jake Johnson]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just needed to get home for a few days to see the children.

[Jake Johnson]

Is it. Are you having culture shock to be in regular lights?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. I got home well, I shot Friday night. Then I got on a plane at 2:15am flew to Seattle, transferred, flew home. So I was as weird as I've ever been on that plane. Yeah, that in between sleep reality stuff. I don't think I slept, but I know that wasn't four hours. So explain what happened.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Producer Sherlock]

It's not worth it.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but that. How great is that? Alaska? That Anchorage airport?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's wild. Everything about Anchorage is pretty wild.

[Jake Johnson]

You like it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you know I do, but Alaska, I mean, what I love about Alaska is everywhere around how close it is to get to things like Whittier, Seward. Good. All these towns that are so unthinkably beautiful.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where like we went down to the. One of the producers, Ashley. Her husband is a pilot and he's got this tiny little plane. So we were flying around everywhere on like days off. We flew down to Homer, Alaska, then jumped on a boat, went to this like private little cove. And I'm like, what world is this?

[Jake Johnson]

So good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So do I like Anchorage? Not downtown Anchorage. Are there parts of Anchorage that are great? Absolutely.

[Jake Johnson]

But doesn't the downtown remind you a little bit of bars when we grew up though? Like a 15 year old could get a tattoo down there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Talk about where I would have gotten my giving tree tattoo. Anchorage.

[Jake Johnson]

Completely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, they still have vending machines with cigarettes.

[Jake Johnson]

See, this is what this is. That's what I mean. It's different. I love it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But there was the time in the 90s when you look back and I was like, how did all that happen? There was fully going to bars. You knew the Bars that would let you in. How do you get cigarettes? You buy them at a gas station.

[Jake Johnson]

The cigarette vending machine was the greatest. I used to walk like three miles with like, I ran an arcade in, like, my cargo shorts to go down there and just buy, like, Paul Malls from a vending machine and like a ball. Yeah. All right. Anyway, we have a great show. We're excited to get into it and we're not going to say another word. Without further ado.

[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Can we welcome to the show. Can we get your name where you're calling from in your rough age, please?

[Producer Sherlock]

Sure.

[JoJo]

I'm Jojo. I am calling from Texas. I'm just going to say a large city in Texas.

[Jake Johnson]

Sure.

[JoJo]

And I'm 36.

[Jake Johnson]

36. And JoJo. We've been having a little bit of Fun with this question here, so why don't we just do it real quick? Your life memoir gets released. You've written it. What are you titling? What is the title of your life memoir, JoJo?

[JoJo]

Oh, my gosh. I've always thought that, like, it would be something about being friends with everyone, like, a friend to all. I feel like something like that would be so sweet.

[Jake Johnson]

That's lovely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you know what the saying is.

[JoJo]

What's the thing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

A friend to all is a friend of none.

[Jake Johnson]

Jesus Christ.

[JoJo]

Oh, no.

[Jake Johnson]

He went small town Texas on you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's what they say there, kid. Friends with everybody. Baby girl, you ain't friends with nobody.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. All right. All right, judges.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just need one friend.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, well, that. Who you. That's sad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My Smith and Wesson, baby.

[Jake Johnson]

Your gun, sir. That is really sad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

JoJo, what's the problem?

[Jake Johnson]

Jojo? What's going on? What can we help you with?

[JoJo]

Yeah, so I worked at a large hospital. It has one of those coffee stands. You know, you can go get coffee. I usually bring coffee from home, but every once in a while, I go up there, and sometime around, like, when we were coming back from the pandemic, everyone was wearing masks. I noticed that the coffee lady was being, like, especially friendly to me. So I went up there. At one point, she said, oh, my gosh, your coffee's on me. You know, you do so much for us. It's the least I can do. And I thought at the time, maybe, you know, I work in mental health, so maybe she was just referencing, like, us being kind of helpful during this difficult time. I just kind of let that go. But she kept being super nice. At one point, though, she asked me about a hot dog party that I was having for my employees, which is definitely not a thing that I was doing.

[Jake Johnson]

She. She made up a hot dog party?

[JoJo]

No, like, she. So she thought I was someone else. So there's person. Yeah. Yeah. So I kind of, like, I was like, oh, I'm not sure about that. She looked at me really strangely, but I realized that she thinks I'm someone else. And, yeah, so, like, stuff like this kept happening. I didn't really correct her. There may have been other free copies, but, like, I think that this other person looks so much like me. We, you know, we no longer are wearing masks. So I thought at first, like, maybe she was confusing me with someone else because of that. But she's like. She talks about these meetings that we have had, so I think they must be interacting really frequently, and we must look really similar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fascinating problem.

[Jake Johnson]

You're in pretty deep too. So it's been going on for years.

[JoJo]

It's been going on for years. I haven't said anything. I know, but it. It kind of escalated about two weeks ago. And that's like. I've been meaning to call in about the situation overall, but then I realized, like, I cannot keep this up and I gotta. I gotta get some help here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good. You claimed. How did it escalate?

[JoJo]

Yeah. So, yeah, about two weeks ago, she. So she. First of all, huge lead in the case. She called me by the doppelganger's name. So I. I got the first name.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[JoJo]

And then she. We're gonna go with a close. I'm just gonna call her Ashley.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So other means, any chance you got the last name to. Or.

[JoJo]

No, no, just the first name. Okay, I know, I know, but yeah. So the. The copy lady wanted me to get involved in this, like, conflict with another employee. Something about, like, hair nets and ice machine permissions. And I was so uncomfortable, but I couldn't really tell her she had the wrong person.

[Jake Johnson]

So. Okay. Just to give a little life to this moment, she says to you something like, ashley, I don't think we should have to wear hair nets and you should be free. Do you know, are you still standing in the same ground? And you were like, exactly. Totally agree. Like, you just played in. Let it go.

[JoJo]

Yeah, it was. So she had gone. Another employee had called her out for not wearing a hair net, but she was wearing a hair net. And so she was like, ashley, I need you to know I would never. I would never do that. Of course I would follow the rules. And I was like, yeah, I know. You're so great. Like, of course you would never break a rule. And I was trying to get away, but she was so intensive about it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yikes. I've got a question.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the hell's a hot dog party?

[Jake Johnson]

Jake, You've never been to a hot dog? Jake, you look like exactly the kind of guy who hosts a hot dog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's why I'm asking. When I get back from Alaska, I want to throw a hot dog party. I just feel life of me can't figure out what it is. You just give everybody hot dogs.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, it's a free hot dog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You got a hot dog pinata.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. You got a bunch of hot dog themed stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Photos on the wall of hot dogs. You get a cake with a big hot.

[Jake Johnson]

Do wear a hat with a hot dog on it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, this feels like the wrong kind of Party. You just advertising hot dogs everywhere.

[Jake Johnson]

There's photos at a hospital.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Conference rooms closed today for a hot dog party.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And if somebody goes like this. Ah, right on. Great. Have fun. They're crazy.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Oh, cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If the question isn't, what the hell's a hot dog party? Everybody's crazy.

[Jake Johnson]

That's a good idea. I'm having a sausage soiree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Quick question for you, Jojo. When she said, how was the hot dog party? What'd you respond?

[Jake Johnson]

Really weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you go like this? Great, thanks for the free coffee. Or did your thoughts go, what.

[Jake Johnson]

Having to. Yes, and a hot dog party.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But Jojo, then we'll get off this hot dog madness. I'm just obsessing. Did you ask any follow ups or did we just push past?

[JoJo]

At the time I was. I was kind of baffled. So she. Yeah, she was like, I heard you were having this party and I just said, oh my God, I'm not sure. And she, she like looked at me so strangely and then I just kind of ran away.

[Jake Johnson]

So glad that you circled back on this, Jake. Because the moment of someone saying to you, I heard you had a hot dog party, and you having to kind of just find a way to have a response, you just want a free coffee. Heard you had a hot dog party.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was.

[Jake Johnson]

It was fun. Just a large.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I'll take a large. What happened? Just gave out. Like a thousand.

[Jake Johnson]

Would be great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So what else happened? Did everybody eat hot dogs?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How many hot dogs did you give out?

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, two. People don't eat beyond that. I gotta run.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Those lucky bastards.

[Jake Johnson]

I know. Gosh, look at that hair net. Later.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you have a big bucket of just cooking hot dogs over a fire?

[Jake Johnson]

No, just. Yeah, I don't. I gotta. I have to go. I'm leaving.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What a party. Hey, next time I'd love to be at the hot dog.

[Jake Johnson]

We're not gonna do one again, ever. We're done with them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Slip me in the pack. Like I'm just one of the hot dogs. That'd be a dream anyway for you. Want a muffin or something?

[Jake Johnson]

No, no, no. I gotta go now, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The next customer comes up. Man, she throws the best hot dog parties.

[Jake Johnson]

Or she's just saying it to everyone. She's out of her mind. I heard you had a hot dog party.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So here's Jojo. I got a first pitch.

[JoJo]

Okay, well, can I tell you my question first?

[Jake Johnson]

Sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How do I throw a hot dog party?

[Jake Johnson]

Where's the best place for a Hot dog party.

[JoJo]

That would be a great bonus. My question isn't really how to end this situation. It's really like, how do I find my doppelganger? I really want to meet her and see how similar we are. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, Jojo, thank you for asking that question.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Because we were about to pitch in a different direction.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The pitch I was going to say is throw a fake hot dog party.

[Jake Johnson]

Also an interesting one. Retroactively fit the lie you've been living.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Start weirding her out so that she stops asking you questions and stops liking you. But your question's better. And that is how do we find fake you?

[Jake Johnson]

How. How many people are in this hospital working? Tons of.

[JoJo]

Oh, so it's a huge. Yeah, it's a very, very big hospital. I do have, like, a lead. Right. So I've got her first name and then did a little bit of Internet sleuthing. And a possible person. It could be. Yeah, but, like, the photo's kind of small. It's, you know, it's probably older photo. I can't really tell. I don't know if it's her, but it might be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have an idea.

[Jake Johnson]

Go ahead, Jojo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's what I think you need to do. Take a photo of you wearing a mask, make it look grainy and say, put. Make signs up and go looking for this person. She dropped a bag full of hot dogs. Heard her go by the name of Ashley. Would love to return. She's awfully nice. Email here if you know who this is. This person is. First name Ashley. Bag of hot dogs.

[JoJo]

Amazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And now bad, like, really nice person. Nothing about this is negative. Just looking to say thanks or. This person invited me to a hot dog party. Just want to say thanks. So people go like, there's not trouble, but that you are talking. Then they'll go email you. You're talking about, like, Ashley, you know, Reynolds.

[Jake Johnson]

It's got a nice ring, dude. I. I like that. I wonder if we can start milking some more information out of Coffee Woman about who you are to her. Like, is there a way to start to kind of in conversation, engage her in a way where she. It's really difficult.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what this pitch is called? It will now have a new pitch for it.

[Jake Johnson]

Colombo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, they're all Colombo. This one's called Idle Milk the cow.

[Jake Johnson]

Milk the cow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe we can milk the cow a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

We need to. We need to do that. We need to find a way to. Now, is this the only coffee place in the entire building?

[JoJo]

But yeah, I mean, you can get some at, like, the cafeteria.

[Jake Johnson]

Right.

[JoJo]

But this is, like, stand like this.

[Jake Johnson]

I, I have a. I. Here's a. Here's a crazy pitch. My crazy. Is there like an area to sit and have your coffee?

[JoJo]

No, not up there. You can, like, stand around, but there's not. It's not like a little cafe or anything. It's just right in the front of the, like, atrium when you walk in.

[Jake Johnson]

This is. This is what I would suggest. This is a crazy one. And I think that we're probably going to nix this quickly. But why don't you sit out there on a day off and just wait and watch people who go in there wear a mask so you're incognito.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Put a hat about a stakeout.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm talking about a stakeout.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bring pistachios.

[Jake Johnson]

Bring pistachios. Smoke a couple grits.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Really make a day of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have a partner.

[Jake Johnson]

Have a hot dog, for God's sake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But if you.

[Jake Johnson]

You need a waste in a way over there, Jojo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But, Jojo, if you're white, your partner's got to be black. If you're black, your partner's got to be white.

[Jake Johnson]

Without question. We can't have two of the same race. Makes no sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not on a stakeout.

[Jake Johnson]

And at one point, one of you has to look to the other and be like, I'm getting a little too old.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I can't keep doing this. And then right at that moment, you go like this. Wait, wait. That might be her.

[Jake Johnson]

So much. Take it. She sits there for two hours and eats, like, five meals. Just boxes surrounding her. She's smoking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you think of steak out, JoJo?

[JoJo]

I'm not opposed to it. Yeah, I could find a way to do.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, we know she goes there.

[JoJo]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

You know what else we could do? The sign. You're talking about hanging Jake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

We could hang a sign outside of the coffee place that is away from the woman working in there that only people walking in could see. And it could say something like, did you throw a hot dog party? However long ago? Please contact me. I want to get the details for my own. Something like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jojo. I don't hate it.

[JoJo]

I don't hate it either.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't hate the idea of going looking to throw a hot dog party for my kid. Someone threw a great hot dog party. If you did, please email here. And then you just go, hot dog party, lady. Gmail.com.

[Jake Johnson]

And. And by the way, it's not taken. That email's.

[JoJo]

Oh, fantastic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's taken. Believe me. You need to be hot dog lady 48 or something like that. Because I got the first 45.

[Jake Johnson]

JoJo, not okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've also got the website. I'm also working on the app Hot Dog Lady. The app.

[Jake Johnson]

Hot dog party app.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want everyone to be able to.

[Jake Johnson]

This thing's $30 dollars.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Well, it's worth it. You can throw a hot dog party anywhere. And what we do is we provide the hot dogs and the buns.

[Jake Johnson]

I can get those. Yeah. I don't know. I, I. Part of me thinks that you. These might be starting off points. And then I do think there's something to try to just milk some information out of the coffee woman, which could be really smooth. Yeah, I, I just don't know how exactly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have a pitch on how to. Okay, Gareth, you be coffee lady.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, I'll be Mo. No, you won't be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Because Mo passed away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This would work with her.

[Jake Johnson]

Jojo, can we. Can I ask you a question? Are you familiar with our characters Piggly and Mo?

[JoJo]

Yeah, of course.

[Jake Johnson]

You sound really into the idea, which is great for us because we recently have killed them off of the show and we've only received. We've received a number of voice memos today about how thankful people are that they're gone. Did you have an opinion on Piggly and Mo? Anything positive? Negative? Yeah, be honest. This is a safe space.

[JoJo]

No, I'm devastated to hear of their demise. I enjoyed Piggly and Mo.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, the audience killed him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, well, but here's how we could do this.

[JoJo]

Devastating.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Actually, JoJo, will you be the coffee lady? And here's.

[Jake Johnson]

Come on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry, Gareth.

[Jake Johnson]

Sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just remembered other comments they have where they say we leave the caller out too much.

[Jake Johnson]

Can I be the customer right before. Yes, thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You.

[Jake Johnson]

I just love the work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about. So let's try this. And three, two, one. Piggly and Mo. That's our new way of saying action.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Producer Sherlock]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

I didn't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And now we can stop talking pig limo because they're gonna go, now you talk too much about pig limo.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, now the show's all you guys talking about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Piggly and Mo is the new term for action.

[Jake Johnson]

Great. I love it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Three, two, one. Piglin Mo.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, and you don't have any muffins today, do you?

[JoJo]

Just that one over there.

[Nick]

Just the last Blueberry.

[Jake Johnson]

Looks gross. Okay, I'll wait over here for my coffee.

[JoJo]

Sure. Have a nice day.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry, I'm just throwing how short that was.

[Jake Johnson]

You know, What? I'll take the muffins.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Knowing you. Customer.

[Jake Johnson]

I'll take the muffin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You have to be kicked out.

[Jake Johnson]

I'll take the muffin. I'm going to give it to my son. He's staying with me. He was just laid off. He's 32. Can you believe that?

[JoJo]

Sorry to hear that.

[Jake Johnson]

I had to move my treadmill out of his room because I turned it into a little gym.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is interesting how your accents change into an old throwback.

[Jake Johnson]

Your turn. Your turn will be soon, sir.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, hold on. I gotta step up here. I'm looking to throw a hot dog party. Ma' am.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, I'll wait over here. Just put the muffin in the bag.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi, how are you?

[JoJo]

Hey, girl, how are you doing today?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's good, girl. How are you?

[JoJo]

I'm doing great. It's so nice to see you up here as always.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You do. Hey, will you remind me. Sorry, girl, I haven't had my coffee yet. What were we talking about the other day?

[JoJo]

Oh, you know that meeting that we had about the ice machine?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I'm trying to remember which one. I'm so sorry, babe. My head has been, like, in the clouds, girl. You know how it goes. What was the meeting again? That's why I love your coffee, girl. But what was that meeting?

[JoJo]

Yeah, well, you were so kind to let us use your ice machine because ours is broken up here, so. Remember we had talked about. You, like, told me it was okay for us to go in there and use your ice. I'm so appreciative. Thank you so much. Yeah, so you had let us know that would be. Okay, so we've been doing that the last couple weeks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, Gareth, jump in as the girl. Now let's both be her and try to figure out how to do this because we're very close to something here. If Jojo. This is really how the coffee shop lady is milking the cow?

[Jake Johnson]

Could be the way, I think so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is also insane, Jojo, and this really might be a bad pitch, but is there any world you could go in a disguise with a voice and go like, hey, girl, sorry, was there a girl woman here who kind of looks like. And describe yourself. Who, like, through a hot dog party? I gotta give her a gift card for, like, Dunkin Donuts. What floor she work in?

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, but I wouldn't do that voice, obviously.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nobody know where I'm going, Gary.

[Jake Johnson]

Nobody would. But what you could do is show up with. Keep going in in some kind of disguise, like a wig, a weird hat. I'm going doubtfire now and we're doubt firing. Go in there, show a grainy picture of yourself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

In a mask and say, and say I'm. I was supposed to meet this woman here for coffee. She works here. She threw a hot dog party or something like that. I just want to give her a gift as a thank you. She's been so helpful to my family. Do you know what her name is or where she works in the building and just see if you can get any.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You could also do this.

[Jake Johnson]

Have, have a friend do it or a significant other.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We here or do this. Jojo. There was a woman who came in here who looked like this. And you show the photo and you go, she was so kind to me. Can you leave her? This is a little gift. And it's just a gift card with a little note with an email on it saying thank you for your kindness so that she gives it to her. Then the woman emails a thank you. Like, thank you for the card. I don't remember you, but that's awfully generous. Now you got her. I like that's called the Jojo Trap.

[Jake Johnson]

I, I, I like that too. I think that's pretty good. I think, I think you could have. If you want to avoid going to your work in a disguise, you can have someone else do that for you with that. Set up the picture. She threw the hot dog party.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's such a clear thing. And you just want to say.

[Jake Johnson]

And just you get her a 50 gift card to something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Take it easy, Daddy Warbucks.

[Jake Johnson]

Come on. We want to make the email possible. What are you gonna do? 8.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you see they don't make $8 gift cards.

[Jake Johnson]

You can put in whatever amount you want. Someone's someone. Isn't gift carding a lot of people. You just added yourself. You just added yourself, Mo. But whatever it is, and I like that too. I think that's another way to maybe, you know, that's a slower play. Let's go to start.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, Jojo, I gotta tell you, we've thrown some hitters at you. What are you thinking?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[JoJo]

Gosh, as much as I would love to like, try and do a disguise, I'm not sure how, how skilled I am.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mask and big glasses. Yeah. And then just before we go on, give me three different voices, characters. But I don't want you to think about it. Don't get nervous. We're all terrible. You heard how bad mine were. So give me the first one. Start off with Jojo, tell us her name and then go.

[JoJo]

Wait. Tell me. Oh, the name of the character that I'm playing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The character's name. Make it up as you go. What's her name? Character number one. And go.

[JoJo]

Hey, I'm Sally. I'm just coming up to the cashier to get me some coffee.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wonderful. Sally works number two.

[JoJo]

Hi, I'm Sally. Sarah. And I'm just here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's go, let's go. Yeah, let's go. A little bit away from Sally.

[Jake Johnson]

Maybe older. Older. Think older.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? What do you sound like? 60 year old who smokes.

[JoJo]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Lifelong smoker. Love the slots.

[JoJo]

Yeah, this is GN and. And I'm here to get some. Some coffee for the day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You are? Jan. So we got two great characters. The third one is you just picked up the kids at soccer. You do every PTA meeting. You're just the sweetest old pumpkin pie in the world. But you're crazy. And you've got a dark secret.

[Jake Johnson]

I hate hot dog parties.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You hate hot dog parties. And you are bad news. What's her name? Jojo. What's her name?

[JoJo]

What's her name?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Barbie with a secret.

[JoJo]

Well, Barb seems like a good name for that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Barbados. In. In. 3, 2, 1. Piglyon. Mo.

[JoJo]

Hey, lady, I just got done.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sounds a lot like Jojo.

[Jake Johnson]

That's Jojo. Why are you lying to me? Why are you doing this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jojo, remember, we can't be. Joke, Ashley. Three, two, one, Piggly. And go.

[JoJo]

Hey, girl. I just dropped off the kids at soccer and I'm just here to get my matcha strawberry vanilla extra latte. How you been?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think we go with Gianna or Sally. And I think we got a winner here. But what do you think, Jojo, of this going in as a character? Is this something you might try to actually do?

[JoJo]

Oh, my God. I think I would. I'm a little nervous. I think I would do this. Why not have some fun with it?

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, Jojo, you could pull it off. I really do. Here's one of the things. If. Here's one of the things. Like having worked on, like prank shows before, you forget. And you got to realize nobody thinks someone's going to do this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's exactly right.

[Jake Johnson]

So you've got to remember she's not like on the lookout for someone pretending.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Exactly right.

[Jake Johnson]

So they can dig up facts about a hot dog party.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, Jojo, I'm going to ask you to do something crazy that is half for fun, but not full Piggly and Mo. Because it's also. I think it's going to help us. Can You. Who are you going to be? Sally or Gian? Who do you like?

[JoJo]

I mean, I think Sally's probably easier for me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good. Then do it then.

[Jake Johnson]

Do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, so now I need you to be Sally. And I need you to be the coffee lady, because, you know, the coffee lady. Well, and take a guess of how it's going to go. Remember, the goal of this is to give her something to give to the other you. So the other you can respond to the email. Right. So will you do both characters so we can see to the best of your ability if this has a fighting chance or not?

[JoJo]

Okay. I can try.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Three, two, one, Piggly. And go.

[JoJo]

Hi, good morning. It's nice to see you. How are you today? Okay. I'm doing great. How about you? Oh, well, you know, it's been a slow start to the morning. Hey, listen, I was wondering if you could do something for me. There was this really nice lady who helped me out the other day. Actually got a picture of her here. And, you know, she was just so kind and I wanted to thank her, so I left her a little note and my contact information. Would you be able to give that to her for me? Yeah, sure. I can do that. I think I know who this is. You do? Yeah, I think that's. I think that's actually Ashley. Does that sound like the right name? I'm not sure her name, but I trust you to. To get that to her. Thank you. Yes, you're welcome.

[Jake Johnson]

That. That's great. The only thing I'd say is, why not. Why not say names?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ashley. Yeah. Why did you make it harder on yourself?

[Jake Johnson]

Say. Say, like all I can.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think her name's Ashley, but I don't know her last name.

[JoJo]

Ah, that's perfect. Okay. I didn't even think of that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, she's a wonderful lady. I think her name is Ashley.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Then we just had. Then she's just waiting for this one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Woman, but JoJo, that's phenomenal.

[Jake Johnson]

That was phenomenal. Can I make some outfit suggestions?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

I want big glasses. Go to the Goodwill. Get a big set of old lady glasses. Huge chew gum during the whole thing and have some big lipstick on, like a big cup.

[JoJo]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, I love all that. A lot of gum will change your character.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, yeah, gum will help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Also, Right before you go on, drink, two Red Bulls.

[Producer Sherlock]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Right before you go in, go grab a coffee.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just. I want you to be so jacked up that you have shaky hands. So she's like, oh, honey, relax.

[Jake Johnson]

And you're going like, let's do this the day before you have a day off so that the next day you're not in any trouble of being involved in them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or just make sure you've got two days in a row where you just get in your coffee from the other stand.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Yep.

[JoJo]

Perfect. Perfect. I can do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, JoJo, will you take a picture.

[Jake Johnson]

Of yourself in the outfit?

[Gareth Reynolds]

But voice note the whole thing be holding on to your phone, please. Oh, you've got to record this.

[Jake Johnson]

Where the wire.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But we gotta see what you look like. And then you go to Donnie Brasco at where the wire.

[Jake Johnson]

Wear the wire.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wild makers fish.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, that's killing her. We're not gonna do.

[JoJo]

I'm not here for that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well, throw a hot dog party. That means kill it.

[Jake Johnson]

That. No, it doesn't. Not mean what?

[Producer Sherlock]

That.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're gonna get promoted. Garrett. Come to my hot dog party. Forget about it. Sit in the front seat of the Oldsmobile.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, I decided we got to get rid of Garrett. We're gonna make him a hot dog party. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. He'll call.

[Jake Johnson]

Throw him a hot dog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come to my hot dog. In the basement in New Jersey.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, wait a minute. You guys throwing me a hot dog party? Why are all these tarps down? Pop, pop, pop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, JoJo, will you please follow up? I think this is going to work.

[Jake Johnson]

I do, too.

[JoJo]

Oh, my God. Absolutely. Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you for the great call.

[Jake Johnson]

Can't wait.

[JoJo]

Thank you so much. Y' all have a great rest of your day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, now I need you to Piggly and go.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. And don't make it Piggly and slow. Scram now, would you? Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jo, when my shirt's off, it's definitely Piggly and Dough.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, I don't know why it went there. Please stop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you on the road. It's Piggly and Blow.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, every now and then, a little something to get me ready before the Piggly and show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you so much.

[Jake Johnson]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Mint Mobile.

[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

It really does.

[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Producer Sherlock]

Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

Hello there. Welcome to the show. Can we get your name, age and where you're calling from, please?

[Producer Sherlock]

Yeah, we will go with Nick for this. Roughly 30 and calling from Utah.

[Jake Johnson]

Utah. And Nick, I think Utah is the most beautiful state. If I may. Yeah, Alaska's. Alaska's maybe better. I would say in the landlord. Yeah, maybe 48. Yeah. Nick, you write a memoir, it's about your life. What are you gonna go with as the title?

[Producer Sherlock]

Oh, I would go with making it through one. One day at a time, One laugh at a time. I don't know, something like that.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, I talked to the publisher, they have some thoughts on that. But why don't you just jump into the problem and we'll try to help you out. What do you got?

[Producer Sherlock]

Yeah, so look, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be straight with you guys. I need to know that you Guys, are, are on my side. Before I jump into the prompt, need to confirm that because this is, you know, it's gonna be out there a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

But we're very public that we are always on the caller side. So we are on your side. It might get sticky to that, but we're definitely going to pitch in a direction to solve your problem. Even if we got to kind of, you know, be the uncles a little bit and say, what were you thinking? But we are, we will try to solve your problem. That's a promise, a premise and a promise.

[Producer Sherlock]

I appreciate it. I appreciate it. Okay, so the setup is I work for a smaller company in Utah and when I started there was kind of a group of guys who would go to the gym together.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Producer Sherlock]

So I was like, you know, I would love to find my way to get into there and you know, be one of the boys, get invited to the gym. Well, found my way in, which is great. But I quickly learned that going to the gym for them means sitting in a steam room for 20 minutes and talking about, you know, most of the time it's talking about work, sometimes it's personal, different things like that. So the problem I'm, I love steam rooms. I think they're great. Sitting in the steam room with them is great. The problem I'm having that. So when we sit in the steam room, we'll just sit in a towel. And the gym provides towels, right? And they're white towels. And so the problem I'm having is every time I sit in there, we're sitting in there for a good, you know, 20 minutes straight. It's always, you know, who can sit there the longest or we get really sweaty. Different things like that. So the problem I'm having is no matter what I seem to do, I will always have a little shit stain on my towel by the end of the, a 20 minute session. And I know what you're gonna, I know what you're thinking right now. You know, it's the simple solution, just wipe or clean your ass. Well, I do and I, I've gone into it multiple times where I'm like, okay, before, right before we go, I'm gonna do, you know, a couple extra wipes, different things like that. But I don't know if it's just the way I'm sweating, if it's, you know, I don't know what's going on down there. There, there's got to be a solution. But I haven't found it. So would love to hear your guys advice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, Nick, we're not goddamn doctors. Have you heard our stupid show? We pitch things like eat three things of bubble gum. Not why is there always in your ass even after you wiped good sir, it feels like you need pigley and mo.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a couple of dollars. You need a proctology consciousness assessment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But Nick, you're telling me.

[Producer Sherlock]

I thought your show was. We're here to help. I thought you guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're dead right. We're.

[Jake Johnson]

We're not here to wipe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We might be, but Nick, you're dead right. And we're for sure not turning on yet.

[Jake Johnson]

No, but nobody wants you to walk out of there without a stained towel more than us. Aside from maybe you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But let's talk this out. Yeah.

[Producer Sherlock]

Tell you everything. Every solution I've had so far. So I'll typically mornings, you know, I take a long time cleaning my ass and then I will always make sure. You know, days that we're going to the gym, I'm always double, triple, sometimes even quadruple wiping. Making sure it's all good down there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have to you should it do you in your pants during the day? I.

[Producer Sherlock]

Not that I know of. I don't think so.

[Jake Johnson]

But. Okay, keep going. So sometimes you will quadruple. Go ahead.

[Producer Sherlock]

So yeah, maybe there's some disconnect. Maybe I've been doing it wrong my whole life. I don't know. I. So I. I've tried dude wipes. Not a sponsor, but I've tried different things, you know. And it's sometimes. Sometimes I've been able to figure it out, you know. But then the next day it'll be back and I'm like, man, I. I don't know what I'm doing wrong here, you know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me pitch you something. So have you ever used the bidet?

[Producer Sherlock]

I have, yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thoughts on it, brother?

[Producer Sherlock]

I'm. Yeah, I'm all about bidets. The. The problem is, is my. The. We're an in office company, so I can't really. They don't have one there, you know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How often are you dumping out in a day, brother?

[Producer Sherlock]

So that actually it might be connected. I am a. An avid runner and an avid protein eater.

[Jake Johnson]

Sounds like you got a runner in the back a lot. Sorry, I had to. I had to. I apologize. Go ahead, Nick.

[Producer Sherlock]

So I. I'm frequenting. I'm frequenting in the bathroom three times a day. That's Maybe that's the problem.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Three times a day.

[Producer Sherlock]

Three times in the morning.

[Jake Johnson]

Three in the morning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nick.

[Jake Johnson]

Nick. Was that it for the day or more after.

[Producer Sherlock]

There'S always at least 3 in the morning. And then sometimes it'll be more. Okay, sometimes less afterwards. But.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you're taking too many dumps, brother.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I, I'm not gonna, we're not gonna get. Have a consistency conversation on this call, but that's too many.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you ever not taking a dump?

[Jake Johnson]

Dump?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe your butthole doesn't know that you ever turned the faucet off and it just goes, we remain open. Food comes in just whenever it wants to leave, just leave. There's no exit. Just on, brother. Three times in the morning every day, Nick. That's.

[Jake Johnson]

If that was it for the day, I think you could maybe get away with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But then you're saying to your body, why three times in the morning?

[Jake Johnson]

It's a lot. And I don't. Again, we're not going to have the consistency conversation, but obviously, what's the consistency? No.

[Producer Sherlock]

For the most part, it's, it's normal, it's healthy. I've healthy stools. I've looked it up. Okay, but the consistency, just the amount of, the amount of times I go is a lot. Probably the issue.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you're talking in a day. If threes in the morning, by the time you go to bed. We're talking about six in a day.

[Producer Sherlock]

I mean, we. That's. We've had six in a day. We've had seven in a day. It's regularly.

[Jake Johnson]

That's called diarrhea.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's not regular.

[Jake Johnson]

It's impossible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, but you're talking regularly. I always say go, Nick.

[Producer Sherlock]

I, I'm on a, I'm on a schedule. Like, I, I'll know exactly when. Like it's, you know, right when I get to work, sometimes before. But most of the time it's right when I get to work. And then, and then a couple, you know, coffees or whatever, and then I go again and then another time right before lunch.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but you're saying you're on a schedule. You're not. You're. You're. It's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, he might be. What. So what is the schedule?

[Jake Johnson]

Well, what he just said. I mean, it's one in the morning and then a couple unpredictable ones, which is how it is for everyone, basically. That's not a schedule. That's like, you're saying, like, I take shits. We, we all take shits. So, so you're not necessarily on a schedule. Especially if you're going seven times in a day. There's a schedule, but you're just listening to your body like everybody does yours is just calling.

[Producer Sherlock]

Yeah, definitely not. Seven times every day. Can I give you some more context? If it helps, sure.

[JoJo]

It'll help.

[Jake Johnson]

I.

[Producer Sherlock]

As I run. As I run, whenever I sweat, I always kind of say to people, I'm not a sweaty guy. My armpits never stink. I don't really. It takes a lot to get me sweat. The reality is I. The first place I sweat out of is my place butt. And so even if I'm walking, even if I'm going. You know what I mean? And so that's where I'm like, sure. Can I be contributing the problem? Is it too sweaty down there? You know what I mean?

[Jake Johnson]

It could be. I'm gonna. I'm gonna have to ask a gross one, Jake. I'm sorry. I don't want to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, imagine the poor people eating during.

[Jake Johnson]

I know there's people right now. There's. There's probably.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're sitting down at a kitchen table.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. No, no, no. We're absolutely ruining.

[Producer Sherlock]

Imagine me, I'm trying to enjoy a sauna session, and this is happening to me. You know what I mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We feel bad, Nick. We side here.

[Jake Johnson]

We're on your side, and we're. We're about to ruin the lives of many to save yours. So we apologize to everyone who's, you know, just maybe they're like, hey, let me listen to this podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Run while I'm eating yogurt on the commute.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. You know, with fruit in it. This is my question for you, Nick. How are you a hairy guy? Is it hairy back there?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a good question.

[Producer Sherlock]

That is something I was thinking of. I. I'm not a hairy guy, but it is hairy back there.

[Jake Johnson]

Is it Harry in there?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, of course it is.

[Producer Sherlock]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me ask you a question on the question, Nick. I'm not a hairy guy, but it's hairy down there. Define hairy guy.

[Producer Sherlock]

You know, there's not a. Not a lot of hair on my chest. There's. There's some hair on my nipples, but that's pretty much it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, hairy butt.

[Jake Johnson]

You got. You got the crack here. Okay? And look, this is important, and I'm glad you answered honestly, because are you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gonna pitch something insane?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go for it.

[Jake Johnson]

Brazilian.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's. I knew you were gonna say that.

[Jake Johnson]

I want you to get it waxed, and I want to see if there's a difference. I want you to do it on a Friday afternoon after work where you're not going to be doing gym bros for a few days. I think that might make A difference for you. I want to see what this does to before.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Before we even go further with this insanity. Which you're right, Gareth.

[Jake Johnson]

I am right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But we need a certain type of hero in Utah.

[Jake Johnson]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I don't know if we got that. A. Nick. Nick, are you willing to get.

[Jake Johnson]

First of all, how dare you? Knowing Nick the way that I know Nick. Yeah, he's at his wit's ender. I know he's gonna. He's calling whatever it takes, but this is different. I don't think he's tried everything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You think he's willing to try?

[Jake Johnson]

You're damn right I do. You're damn right.

[Producer Sherlock]

You think I'm emailing. You think I'm emailing into a podcast about my dirty. And I'm not gonna try everything?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Nick, I'm wrong. You're.

[Producer Sherlock]

Honestly, I'm offended.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, Nat, attack, will you?

[Jake Johnson]

Brown eyes, tiger.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So where in Utah are you, King?

[Natalie]

Well, we're.

[Jake Johnson]

We'll bleep that out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I'll tell you why I say this. Because we're gonna pay for it.

[Jake Johnson]

I was gonna say we're gonna make.

[Gareth Reynolds]

An appointment right now, if you're okay.

[Jake Johnson]

With it, Nick, we don't want to clean out your bank account. We want to clean out your butt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what we're gonna do, Nick? If you're comfortable with this, if you really do it it, we're going to call the place right now and book the appointment for you and ask what we're looking to do. But we need you to go do it if this all works. Are you in? A hundred percent?

[Producer Sherlock]

One hundred percent. I am in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Producer Sherlock]

Thousand percent. I'm in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Brother. We're gonna beep out all the details, obviously, but will you give to Nat? Nat, will you do a quick Google search? Call a place that's close, see if we can get them on the line, and then we're gonna book an appointment. Nick, we're gonna need you talking about when you. So the three of us will. Oh, no. You know what would love to do, Nick? You book the appoint. You do the talking.

[Jake Johnson]

Yep. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And if we need to, we'll jump in as uncles.

[Jake Johnson]

Yep. Which will only be my mom.

[Producer Sherlock]

My uncle.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. Well, here's what we're going to do, Nick. We're going to. We're going to call and you're going to do the talking. And if you need us for any reason, you say the word. I don't know if we want to initiate that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, we're not. You just go like this Jake or Gareth. And then what? Whoever you call, they'll just jump in and help.

[Jake Johnson]

Yep. So why don't. Why don't you give us your zip code, Nick? And again we'll bleep that all out.

[Producer Sherlock]

Yeah, you could do should be Utah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[JoJo]

Okay.

[Natalie]

I'm looking for. There's a few different waxing studios.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nick. I'm sorry I doubted you.

[Jake Johnson]

You and Nick. I'm proud of you. We're both proud of you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you'll for sure have to film yourself a little bit during it and then come on for a follow.

[Jake Johnson]

You'll definitely have to just get your face while it happens. No, because we don't want his face.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But just the vo.

[Producer Sherlock]

I am being anonymous.

[Jake Johnson]

We'll just have to get a voice memo of your reaction to the. The sound and the reaction. And then you're definitely going to have to come on for a follow up to talk about the experience and if it's helped is close to you.

[Producer Sherlock]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm just as we're doing it, just so you guys know, I just wrote.

[Natalie]

A Brazilian for men.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They do have Brazilians for men. I just wrote how long does it take to recover from a Brazilian butt wax? Let me explain what's going to happen to you, brother. Immediate aftermath. First 24 to 48, you're going to have a little redness. You're going to have some bumps and you're going to have some irritation. Your skin may feel a little sensitive, itchy or tingly. And we're going to need you to avoid sweating. Tight clothes, hot showers or friction. Full coverage two to five days. Go ahead.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, here's what I'm going to say when we have the appointment coming. Do you guys work out when you go to the steam after or is it pure steam?

[Producer Sherlock]

It's pure steam. Sometimes we'll work out if we have some time in the day. But most of the time it's, you know, if we only have 20 minutes we'll just go do steam.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I guess. I got two other things go consider using a post wax soothing product or witch hazel.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then the other one is wear loose breathable underwear. And we just got a new sponsor. I think it is me on these.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna contact Tanya. We've send your address. We're gonna send you a pack of me.

[Jake Johnson]

We have to do that. And let me tell you, these are gonna be meundies are perfect for everything. I don't know if they have co signed the idea that they're the perfect Underpants for a post male Brazilian. They certainly. They certainly are versatile.

[Producer Sherlock]

We're co signing it for them. Can I ask you two a question?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Producer Sherlock]

Have you ever sat in a steam room for. For 20 plus minutes? Yes, but naked in a white towel?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Many times. And no. To answer your question.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Nick, so many times. I just did one in Girdwood, Alaska. I don't want. I used to do them at the YMC all the time. Time.

[Jake Johnson]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. I love him. I love him. I love it. Not once. Not once has there been a stain.

[Jake Johnson]

Never have I found a stain.

[Producer Sherlock]

Okay, then I. You know, I'm being humbled right now because I thought maybe everyone had this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, this is a problem, brother.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a problem. But we're, you know, let's. Let's start. Let's start checking things off the. The box here. Natalie.

[Natalie]

I wanted to ask you guys a question. Have you guys had a. Any sort of Brazilian?

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[JoJo]

Wow.

[Natalie]

Yeah, I have. And it's very painful.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Okay. Well, hey, we can actually.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To scare our friend.

[Jake Johnson]

Can we. Can we sign the deal before we start talking about the fine prince?

[Natalie]

Just like go do it. I feel like he should also do it.

[Jake Johnson]

You feel like I should go do it too? What is this book, Natalie?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Jake Johnson]

Nick, quiet. What are you talking about?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Would you do it for the show?

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Make a YouTube video. It'll be all good for your 15 podcasts.

[Natalie]

You can't recommend.

[Producer Sherlock]

You got Salt. You have Salt Lake on your tour. Let's go together.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, now we've pushed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. If you do it together, I'm.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't have anything Salt Lake, so. No, but you guys could do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

On the same day. Then we can have you both on to discuss it.

[Natalie]

Yes. Follow up where you guys talk about your experience.

[Jake Johnson]

You know, this is. This is the. This is the difference between our success levels, Jake. This is. You can't do this. I can do this and I will do this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

I will do this.

[Natalie]

Okay, because your idea. I didn't point at G because he wasn't the one one who suggested it.

[Jake Johnson]

He's. What are you talking about? We are both coaching up on here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not turn this into something it's not. Gareth, you're excited to do it for the show. It has nothing to do with success. You are excited to do this.

[Jake Johnson]

I. I will do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know you will, Robert. So let's not pretend it's anything but fun. So now.

[Jake Johnson]

Fun.

[Natalie]

But we cannot call Them yet because they're not open yet. But says for guests with the penis. This service includes everything from the.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm out.

[Natalie]

You're not going to this one. I gotta find one in.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Natalie]

Or something for you. This service includes everything from the bikini full, plus the scrotum and shaft. You decide how much hair remains on top.

[Producer Sherlock]

Wait, why are we doing. Why are we doing Shaft?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, we don't have to. We don't have to.

[Natalie]

All we're doing is backdoor saying that this is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're just doing Backdoor boys.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, backdoor boys. By the way, Nick, we got a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gang name, we got new merch.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm a backdoor boy. Nick, what's your window? Let's say if we're gonna actually be for real and pick a date, I'm thinking we do it June 12, July 12 or June 12. That's what I'm thinking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can you have it done by June 12th?

[Producer Sherlock]

Yeah, I could do it and then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do this Nick, when you do it, because we can't make the appointment. Appointment, Send us the bill and we'll pay for it.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, but send us confirmation of the appointment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, and then Gareth will send his confirmation of the appointment and we'll lock this in and then we'll have both you guys back on for a big follow up. Because, yes, this is, we're going to have two follow ups. The first one is just how it felt for both you guys, where you're at in your experience. And then we're going to bring you back on again for did it fix the problem?

[Jake Johnson]

Problem?

[Producer Sherlock]

Okay. I might need, I might need a couple weeks after that, because there are times where it's like, it's been good, but then it. Okay, but then it, you know, Nick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You'Re gonna be on the show a lot, brother. Don't you doubt it.

[Producer Sherlock]

Looking forward to it.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's the other thing, Nick. Remember what Jake said when he read the nightmarish follow up part of this? No sweating for a couple days after. After. So you're not going to be able to steam. Right.

[Producer Sherlock]

Problem, dude, I, I, I'll be walking and I'll sweat out of my.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I know, but just take.

[Jake Johnson]

All you got to do is just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Take it easy for a couple of days. You can sweat a little bit. Just take it easy.

[Jake Johnson]

So book your appointment, send us confirmation, and I'll, I'll see you in the end zone, amigo.

[Producer Sherlock]

He will do.

[Jake Johnson]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great call. Thank you, brother.

[Jake Johnson]

Bye.

[Producer Sherlock]

We can call each other, we can call ourselves the Brazilian brothers after this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'll.

[Jake Johnson]

We'll catch you later, Nick. Take care, bud.

[Producer Sherlock]

All right.

[Jake Johnson]

Hi.

[Producer Sherlock]

Hi.

[Jake Johnson]

Great for you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wonderful idea.

[Jake Johnson]

Producer Sherlock here. This next call is a follow up from episode 90 hunk with a little chunk. Hello there. Welcome to. We're here to help again. Hey, guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Guys.

[Jake Johnson]

Hi. Welcome back. We know you're a follow up and that's all we know. So how about your name and what the first call was?

[Nick]

I believe the name I went by at that time was Opal. And the follow up. Yeah, the call is about how my dad, he is following a page called Women's Butts, along with a bunch of other.

[Jake Johnson]

You know what's great about this? Here's two things are great about this show, Jake. One, one, that I. I didn't remember this until I did.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And it says a lot about what we work with. And two, now that I remember it, I'm full of joy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, Opal, will you walk us through and re pitch the problem and what our pitch was and what you did?

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, my God.

[Nick]

Okay, so.

[Jake Johnson]

His follow page right now. And his.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's women underscore butts.

[Jake Johnson]

It's just. It's. It's. Go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Silly fertily.

[Nick]

Yeah, Women's butts.

[Jake Johnson]

It's so funny to follow women butts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your dad's got some interesting taste.

[Jake Johnson]

Who?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's like, into character. The baby Sophia. Darius.

[Jake Johnson]

How does he find him, by the way?

[Gareth Reynolds]

An old guy looking at baby Sophia.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, well, she's not a baby. To be fair. She's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why call yourself Baby Sophia?

[Jake Johnson]

It's not great. I'm not trying to fully defend it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But why don't you just go infant gross?

[Jake Johnson]

Or just be like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about 18 plus?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, like big boobs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about I'm an adult?

[Jake Johnson]

Like, how did he find her anyway? We're not trying to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

An adult. You're an adult. You want to look at each other's genitals dot com.

[Jake Johnson]

Adult General Swap.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Adult Enter Adult General swap dot com. I will finance that app.

[Jake Johnson]

None of this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

None of this with a younger kid. You people getting trapped.

[Jake Johnson]

You're an adult.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm an adult. We want to swap.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's have a look.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you got to be over. You got to be from Chicago. The Midwest.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, back to you, Opal.

[Nick]

So, yeah, basically the. The bridge version is that my. My husband and my brother in laws kind of came up to me and my sisters and were like, you got to check your dad on Instagram. His followers aren't private. And we could see, you know, who he's following, and that it's mainly, you know, for him to kind of, like, be a little bit of a horn dog. So you guys propose. I remember the main proposal is just to have maybe my husband talk to him. Whoever was the closest to my dad as far as, like, being chill with him, just be like, hey, you know, you've gotta, you know, reel this in or make your page private, or something along those lines.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So what's. What happened?

[Nick]

So I proposed that to my husband at first, and the first he was game, and then he was kind of a little nervous about it. And then. I don't know if you noticed that Instagram does this now, but you can. It'll kind of suggest posts that your friends already commented on. So, like, if you look in, like, the top corner, it'll have a little icon of their page, and then you can see stuff they've commented on. Oh, and I kept seeing the icon for my dad's page because he's the only one I know that has that. Who doesn't have a picture? And I was like. And it's gotten worse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Opal, hold on. What are some of the things your dad has commented on?

[Jake Johnson]

These commenting?

[Nick]

I'd say, like, you know, twerking videos.

[Jake Johnson]

What is he saying?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's he saying? Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

No, no. Oh, it's a whole new level to be commenting. Did we know that in your first.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Call.

[Jake Johnson]

Commenting is just next level bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

On a twerking video. These are the people. These are the people who comment on porn.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, for everybody listening, just comment on our show. Just write, yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, yes, yes. Yes, or no. No, no, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. You. You see a butt video? Yes. You see a butt video? No.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I wish that's how critics were with movies. The New York Times. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

That was Cisco and Ebert. They, like, thumbs up, and we were like, it's good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Those two were the best. You ever see the video of them where they get mad at each other.

[Jake Johnson]

During the pro, where they're just, like, trying to cut a promo for the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Show or something, if you weren't such a jerk. Well, the only reason we're doing it again is because of you.

[Jake Johnson]

And tonight we're going. Yeah. They go right back into it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've got a little bit of enthusiasm, Gene. But so Opal, he's now writing. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Seeing that.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

First of all, are you okay?

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Nick]

There we go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Resounding no.

[JoJo]

Yes.

[Nick]

I. I had spoken to my. My siblings, and I was like, you know, this is what I see. Now, should I do something? And I was like, you know what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It.

[Nick]

I'm just gonna. I'm gonna message him because I don't know. I don't have the mental fortitude to have that type of conversation in person.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree. Can we have a screen grab of the conversation and can Gareth and I read it?

[Nick]

I could. I could find it.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, you could do it real quick. And while you do, allow me to just point out how. How amazing.

[Nick]

Actually, I. I don't think I have it because I didn't want to keep seeing it in my inbox, so I don't use the conversation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I get that, actually.

[Nick]

But I do remember what I said.

[Jake Johnson]

Pulling your siblings aside for a chat about dad commenting on butt videos. Just unreal. Okay, what. What was the conversation like, Opal?

[Nick]

So it was basically like, hey, you know, know, I don't want to pass any judgment. We're both adults here, but I'm not sure if you know this, but people could see what you like and what you comment on on Instagram. You know, I was like. Like I said, not passing any judgment, but just. You might want to be mindful of that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Passing a little judgment.

[Nick]

The more I say no judgment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. So no judgment, but you should know there's some judgment.

[Jake Johnson]

I call the podcast about it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

As much judgment as there can be.

[Jake Johnson]

No judgment, but I think I should be wearing a robe with a gavel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, keep going. So you lied and said no judgment.

[Nick]

Yes, and then I. I sent it. I sent it on its way. And then he read it. He just did not respond, and I left it at that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, this is a nightmare.

[Jake Johnson]

How long ago was this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That?

[Nick]

Probably about a month or so ago.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And what's been happening now, it.

[Nick]

It has not changed. So I'm. You know, I think he's just kind of like it. I'm retired. I'm gonna do me.

[Jake Johnson]

You mean it hasn't changed in the sense that he's still commenting?

[Nick]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Holy.

[Jake Johnson]

Holy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I got a. I got.

[Nick]

I gotta give him respect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got a crazy. I got a crazy piss.

[Jake Johnson]

Go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do we create a fake butt account trying to trigger what he likes so that we can DM him and tell him, try to get him to stop by, like, what's the Paul Thomas Anderson movie again? I'm forgetting Punch Drunk Love, where we all of a sudden trap him into something and then go like, I'm a man. You're looking at these accounts and you're texting with me. I know where you live. And he'll be like, ah. And then be like, dad, get off of those site. Not women. It's men. You're commenting to me like, these are scary guys. They're getting your info, Pigley and mo time it could. He's a perfect candidate. But what do you think about is that. I mean, it's probably insane, but is it insane? But how could. Where are you at, Opal? Is this just a follow up looking for p. Let's hear it before we go to Opal. Gareth pitch.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean. Oh, yeah, go ahead, Opal, you go. You got something to say, say it.

[Nick]

Oh, no, no. I was just saying I. I think, you know, this is just one of those things that like, he's just. He's content with it and I don't want to dive even deeper into what can happen, so.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, then maybe you don't want pitches.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you know what? We're not going to do the pitches, but let's hear it.

[Jake Johnson]

The pitch would be that you get a crew of people, your friends or, you know, you don't want to go too big, but maybe you keep family. But you guys start commenting back on the pictures that he is commenting on. I love with stuff like Thanksgiving. Yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are we doing a year house on Thanksgiving or we going to mine?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. If you try to just start making Thanksgiving arrangements as every comment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. And you just.

[Jake Johnson]

All you guys reply to his humanizing his disgusting pervert. Not disgusting pervert, but his is. Is want for butt with just like, hey, dad, should we cook the turkey this year?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you cooking it really pedestrian things. Yeah, I like that. The other thing you could comment in is. Oh, omg dad, one of those was mine. I sent it in from college.

[Jake Johnson]

Ah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because if he's just looking at a random butt and I go, dad, did you just. Yes, that. That's literally my butt. This is a account my friends and I started as a joke. And he'll go, no, it isn't. And then you'll go, yeah. And he'll go then, no. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

There's so. There's so many. I mean. But you want to leave it alone, right? Opal, you're not. You don't want to open this up any.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think. Can our social media start commenting. I'm sorry, Opal. Opal, say what you just said again. I interrupted.

[Nick]

I would say it might be one of those like let sleeping dogs lie or whatever that saying is.

[JoJo]

I don't.

[Nick]

I'm afraid of what I might. Other rocks. Well, there's stones I might been turned.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can I pitch one other thing, and then if you don't like it, we move on. You know, we have. You know, we have a Instagram account. Can we get your dad's info and start commenting all on all his comments from us?

[Nick]

I don't know, because I don't want him to. To. To accidentally get on the podcast and then listen to it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Understood? Understood. All right, you know what we're going to do? We're going to walk away way.

[Jake Johnson]

And we're not going to create a fake news channel account that starts commenting on there. Can we interview you for a piece about old men who like butts?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we're not going to do that because Mo might.

[Jake Johnson]

Mo's gone, dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what, Opal? Here's what we're going to do. Thank you for the follow up. We're going to stop pitching.

[Jake Johnson]

We'll stop pitching. Opal, way to go, though, on trying to confront him. And if we're being honest, way to go to dad for just being like, this is not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't care.

[Jake Johnson]

This is not a secret.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like women's butts. It's my thing.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, it's one thing to like women's butts. It's another thing to be like, My social media footprint is. I'm writing women's butts. Yes. Yes. Oh. It's supportive.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I will also say, unfortunately for our percentage, this is a miss. It's not a bell ring.

[Jake Johnson]

I know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But, Opal, we appreciate you tried. I understand why your husband passed. I would probably pass, too, if I were him. We understand why dad likes women's butts. We just wish he wasn't so open about it on Instagram.

[Jake Johnson]

He's retired, right?

[JoJo]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

You see, it's just house money. It's like, he's like, well, what do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You want from me? I worked my whole life. I raised my kids. I would like to look at just butts.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, and some boobs. He definitely likes a busty lady as.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, at least in the pick, but he's into. He just likes a. Just shot of a butt.

[Jake Johnson]

He likes a butt. I mean, we all, you know, we all got our stuff, but I just don't want people to know my stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your dad likes butts?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Opal, we appreciate the call.

[Jake Johnson]

God bless him. Thank you, Opal.

[Nick]

Thanks for having me, guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thanks for the call. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPodmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] heretohelpod to see our entire catalog.

[Producer Sherlock]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis associate producer Jesse Thurston Editing, mix and master by.

[Jake Johnson]

Chris Theme song by Oliver Raleigh the COVID artwork is by James Fosdike animations by Andrew Strelecki and if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[JoJo]

All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 12th.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go to patreon.com heretohelpod hey Gorg, it's.

[Jake Johnson]

Me, Gottmik and me Violet Chachki, and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We want you to listen to our.

[Jake Johnson]

Podcast no Gorg now on Headgum. Each episode we will be bringing you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Vlogs, answering burning questions, discussing what's going.

[Jake Johnson]

On right now, and diving into all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Things fashion, hookups, gossip, and more with.

[Jake Johnson]

Past guests such as Heidi Klum and Dita Von Teese. No Gorge always keeps things hidden. Hot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Listen to no Gorge on your favorite.

[Jake Johnson]

Podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube.

[Gareth Reynolds]

New episodes every Thursday.

[Jake Johnson]

Bye gorgeous.