181: All in Crumbles (with Steve Berg)

Summary

Podcast Summary: We're Here to Help – Episode 181: All in Crumbles (with Steve Berg)

Podcast Information:

• Title: We're Here to Help
• Host/Author: Headgum (Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds)
• Episode: 181: All in Crumbles (with Steve Berg)
• Release Date: June 18, 2025

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I. Introduction

In Episode 181, titled "All in Crumbles," of the Headgum podcast "We're Here to Help," hosts Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds delve into one of their most elaborate prank endeavors yet involving their long-time friend, Steve Berg. Known for their humorous and unconventional advice, the duo embarks on a multi-layered prank that intertwines real-life interactions with their habitual bits.

II. Background on the Pranks with Steve Berg

Jake and Gareth open the episode by reminiscing about their history of pranking Steve Berg over the past 15 years. These pranks range from harmless antics like making Steve bet on past football games to more elaborate schemes involving Jean shorts and Zumba classes. Jake clarifies, “[00:52]...we revelled in it,” emphasizing the camaraderie and mutual enjoyment derived from these pranks.

Notable Quote:

• Jake Johnson [01:22]: "Eve Berg, Gareth and I, and Eric Edelstein have all been dear friends for 20 years. Steve loves the pranks. Nobody laughs harder at the reveal than Steve Berg."

III. The Call from Annabelle: The Dead Rat Package

The episode takes a serious turn when caller Annabelle joins the conversation. Annabelle recounts receiving an unsettling package on her 22nd birthday—a taxidermied rat in her likeness, complete with dyed hair and blue eyes to match hers. This disturbing gift was sent by her coworker, Katie, known for her strange pranks.

Notable Quotes:

• Annabelle [13:36]: "So on my 22nd birthday, I received an unmarked package on my doorstep. When I unwrapped it, I found inside a dead rat."
• Jake Johnson [14:35]: "I'm legitimately afraid for you. Please tell me there's a second half of this where there's some, like, goofy prints."

IV. Advice Given by Jake and Gareth

Jake and Gareth initially perceive Annabelle's predicament as a straightforward request for advice on disposing of the dead rat without offending Katie. They joke about various disposal methods, from burning it to feeding it to wildlife, showcasing their typical humorous approach.

Notable Quotes:

• Gareth Reynolds [13:44]: "Garbage."
• Jake Johnson [17:36]: "So the real problem is simply you want to get rid of the rat. You're not worried about Katie. Your question is really simply, what do I do with the rat?"

V. The Plan to Send the Rat to Steve Berg

Recognizing the pattern in Katie's pranks, Jake and Gareth devise an elaborate solution: sending the taxidermied rat to Steve Berg. They propose packaging it along with other quirky items, thus perpetuating their longstanding prank on Steve. This plan involves coordinating with Annabelle to create a personalized package that would bewilder Steve.

Notable Quotes:

• Gareth Reynolds [19:41]: "Here's what I'm going to say, Annabelle. You're gonna send him stuff from some Swiss boy owner and some Swiss candy."
• Jake Johnson [21:20]: "Annabelle, what are you thinking of putting in the box? What's in the box?"

VI. A Second Call: Steve Berg Responds

As the prank unfolds, Steve Berg joins the show, revealing that he has also been on the receiving end of similar mysterious packages. This interaction highlights the depth of Jake and Gareth's prank network and Steve's reactions, which oscillate between confusion and amusement.

Notable Quotes:

• Steve Berg [51:25]: "I did not go back and listen, I did not say you should eat it."
• Jake Johnson [58:03]: "You've won, dear Steven."

VII. Further Prank Revelations

Throughout the episode, multiple instances of prank reciprocation are revealed. Another individual, referred to as "D," shares his experience of receiving packages filled with Swiss chocolates and other peculiar items, linking back to the podcast's influence. These revelations demonstrate the widespread impact of Jake and Gareth's pranks and their intricate planning.

Notable Quotes:

• D [54:05]: "It's a box full. I mean, and I mean full of little lube packets."
• Jake Johnson [60:09]: "Steve, I got to give you a lot of credit here, babe."

VIII. Conclusion: Acknowledging Steve's Victory

In a humbling turn of events, Jake and Gareth acknowledge that Steve Berg has outsmarted them in their prank war. Despite their best efforts over 19 years, Steve's recent actions have tipped the scales in his favor. The hosts express both disappointment and admiration, appreciating the enduring friendship and the laughter it has brought them.

Notable Quotes:

• Jake Johnson [60:30]: "We have lost. I'm happy for Steve. Sleep well, sweet prince."
• Gareth Reynolds [61:27]: "It's a great run."

IX. Recurring Themes and Insights

• Friendship and Camaraderie: The episode underscores the deep-rooted friendship between Jake, Gareth, and Steve, illustrating how their pranks have strengthened their bond over the years.

• Balance Between Humor and Sensitivity: While the pranks are often humorous, there is an underlying respect and understanding, ensuring that the jokes remain in good spirit without crossing personal boundaries.

• Community Engagement: The involvement of callers like Annabelle and D highlights the podcast's interactive nature, allowing listeners to become part of the ongoing narrative.

X. Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jake Johnson [00:42]: "How about we do this, G man? Just stream of conscious a little bit. What all this is, what's the backstory, and what are people getting themselves into?"

• Gareth Reynolds [03:08]: "We wanted to let this go for a while. You'll hear, you know how it kind of falls apart early."

• Annabelle [32:20]: "I did text Katie, the person who sent me the rat, and asked for ideas of what to send..."

• Jake Johnson [41:33]: "Annabelle, back to you."

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Final Thoughts:

Episode 181 of "We're Here to Help" masterfully blends humor with a touch of suspense, showcasing Jake and Gareth's commitment to their unique brand of advice and entertainment. The intricate prank involving Steve Berg not only provides laughs but also highlights the enduring friendships that fuel the show's dynamic. For listeners who enjoy a mix of comedy, camaraderie, and clever scheming, this episode is a standout addition to the series.

Transcript

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[Jake Johnson]

We've got a special one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake. How. I mean, we thought this one would maybe never be released because of how long we might be teasing this, but where do we start?

[Jake Johnson]

How about we do this, G man? Just stream of conscious a little bit. What all this is, what's the backstory, and what are people getting themselves into?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, let's just lay the foundation very quickly in that you and I, for years before there was any public benefit to playing pranks on Steve Berg, reveled in it. We've kind of gone through some of the pranks. They would involve jean shorts, Zumba classes. We one time made him place a bet on a football game that happened 24 hours earlier.

[Jake Johnson]

But quick pause. I have to say, for the sensitive viewers, because Lord knows there's a lot of them. 20, 25.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Jake Johnson]

Eve Berg, Gareth and I, and Eric Edelstein have all been dear friends for 20 years. Steve loves the pranks. Nobody laughs harder at the reveal than Steve Berg. When we did the football one or the Zumba one, by the way, we still haven't made him do the Zumba class or the head.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, there's a couple we've left on the table. So. So to the. To the sensitive people, we haven't even made him do some of these bets, but we've just enjoyed the process of tricking him or fooling him. We would be in cahoots. Jake, for the most part, would be the architect. But I was always like. Like this to kind of, like, quelch his paranoia over whether there was a prank. I would always step in as a trusting friend who would betray him. But. But we've been doing that for a while, so. So anyway, what you're. You were.

[Jake Johnson]

You were fredo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was 100% Fredo. Couldn't happen without me.

[Jake Johnson]

But I was the other crime family you were afraid of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, but. So knowing that and. And again, kind of, you know, doing the show, things would pop up, and. And you'll hear today that there were certain items that were almost an albatross for someone. They wanted to get rid of something they didn't know what to do with something. They had an item they didn't want, but they didn't want to just throw it in the garbage. And so for the past few months, this has come up a couple times, and I think it started probably in classic fashion with your idea of, let's just start sending some of this stuff to Steve and not saying it's from the show, from us, but just kind of Some confusing stuff.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, you know, what also happened is. And we've had this also with the Pigley and Mo Nonsense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And that is what. What a. What a battle we're in right now with the public. And not only that, Gareth, I gotta say, I think a fourth of the people are on Pigley and Mosside who would.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, we've definitely. I. I think this is what happens. It's like once you start talking about it, people start coming out and saying, hey, I'm not saying anything, but I like them. Because you know what it goes to.

[Jake Johnson]

Show about somebody who wants to be a little Internet troll and say mean things? It's now time for the other trolls to start saying stuff. And they are. It's a mixed bag. But this isn't about this. You know me. I can go on a tangent because.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no. And it's a shame. Look, again, we know that they didn't have the thing to break the window in the car, so they're gone. But again, we've been hearing there are pitches we love.

[Jake Johnson]

What the fans. There's a great new one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a great new one.

[Jake Johnson]

And the guys suggested literally just creating for Friday episodes where you and I, late night, just do full Piggly and Mo podcast. And then we are recommending people to the Piggly and Mo podcast under the we're here to help umbrella.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, he was. He was also suggesting that we just for kind of to. To sort of validate the fact that this exists. Use some Gemini AI.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And have that kind of deal with the Piggly and Mo podcast so that. So that we're not just hitting random voice notes to people and people like, hey, this podcast doesn't.

[Jake Johnson]

That is the funniest comment that people have made. Yeah, look, I don't. A lot of my favorites are, look, it's fine. It's not that funny, these two characters. But what's the worst is that you're actually thinking it's going to work and that people send each other clips of a little podcast and that nobody does research. That's where I felt like the audience had a bullseye on us and they beat us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Definitely. You and I were like, we got this.

[Jake Johnson]

And going to how that connects to the Berg thing. Certain pitches we've gotten. Guys, we've done how many of these calls, Gareth? 400.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Is that an exaggeration, do you think? No, I don't think so either, man. And we've done it all in a year and a half. Two years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

So every once in a While the gman and I are on a four hour session, we're at hour three. We're trying not to go off the rails and do too many bits because everyone gets mad at us when we do that. But we don't have any ideas. But what do you want us to do with a dead old rat in a box? So one of the pitches came just to make each other laugh. Just send it to Steve Berg. See what happens if old Steve Berg and that. It's our example, it's our way of getting Steve Berg back on the show, which we love. Talking with Steve, hearing his reaction. And so you're gonna see what we were hoping was a multi year prank.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We had a plan to let this go for a while. You'll hear, you know how it kind of falls apart early. But you know, I think that the, the best part of all of this and always has been is when Berg is talking to us thinking we're not in on it. It's, it's a real pleasure.

[Jake Johnson]

But there's, there's also some interesting growth and changes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, maybe I will also say that we, we both took part. Some of this will probably. You can listen to the full episodes of High Strangeness.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Steve's podcast. Because we were also laying found. I mean with the world we lived in around this time was just a world of fibs with Berg.

[Jake Johnson]

So check out, enjoy this episode. Check out High Strangeness Birds podcast. And if you want to see me live, go to garethreynolds.com Yep, Jake's out there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or if you want to see Jake doing his other show, the dollop, go to $podcast.com it's going to be on the road.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And oh, and then you have a new show next. We have with.

[Jake Johnson]

There's too many shows, Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree, it's a nightmare. Anyway, anyway, listen to this show and if you just listen to this show, ignore the other ones. Jake's doing too much stuff. He's in Alaska. He's flying on biplanes. Without further ado.

[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Annabelle]

Howdy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What was that?

[Annabelle]

I said howdy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Howdy. Okay, where. Where. What's it. Can we get your name? Where in Tennessee you're from and your rough age, please?

[Jake Johnson]

Wait, but did you say how or.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you say she said howdy y' all.

[Jake Johnson]

And did you combine a bunch of things at once?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you say, howdy y' all?

[Annabelle]

I said howdy y' all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How do y' all.

[Jake Johnson]

I love how y' all. Okay, that's gonna be a new way to start these calls. Howdy, y' all. Can you. Can we get your name please?

[Annabelle]

Of course. My name is Annabelle.

[Jake Johnson]

Annabelle, where are you from, Annabelle?

[Annabelle]

I'm from California, but I'm calling from Switzerland.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where's the.

[Jake Johnson]

Did you go. Did you go to international?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Where's that?

[Jake Johnson]

Did you and I go to school together?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where is there.

[Jake Johnson]

Did you go to school with my accent?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not. Not to force you to defend your intro, but where's the howdy y' all coming from if you're California direct?

[Annabelle]

My dad is from Texas. He just always answered the phone like that.

[Jake Johnson]

I think I picked it up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, how do you. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And when did. When did you graduate international school? And was that cool?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And was it 4th and Cathedral from South London?

[Jake Johnson]

So, Annabelle, California, your dad's from Texas. You want to just get into it or you got.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're in Switzerland Something.

[Jake Johnson]

What are you doing in Switzerland?

[Annabelle]

I'm working here. I'm teaching.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What are you teaching? What?

[Annabelle]

I'm teaching English.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There we go.

[Jake Johnson]

Love it. And how old are you, Annabelle?

[Annabelle]

I'm 22.

[Jake Johnson]

22. And what part of California? In my opinion, the best state in the union. Do you agree or disagree, Gareth?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I disagree.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you think is the best state in the union?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'd go Vermont.

[Jake Johnson]

Interested? Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or Hawaii.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, Hawaii is pretty great. So, Annabel, what part of California? North, South, Central? Where were you?

[Annabelle]

I'm from the San Francisco Bay area.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, Annabelle, can. Can you get into the problem? What's going on? What can we help you with?

[Annabelle]

Absolutely. So on my 22nd birthday, which happened this past September, I received an unmarked package on my doorstep. It was a little gift bag filled with tissue paper. I felt similarly, but I did take it into my apartment because I wasn't sure what else to do with it. And when I unwrapped it, I found inside a dead rat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh.

[Annabelle]

Oh.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that like a taxidermied rat?

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or.

[Jake Johnson]

That's a. That's a. Potentially. It's a taxidermy or a fetus snake. It's a white rat with blue eyes.

[Annabelle]

It was a taxidermied rat. Taxidermied, quote, unquote, in my likeness. So the hair was dyed because I'm blonde and the eyes were dyed blue because I have blue eyes.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on, Annabelle, this is a comedy show, not a horror podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm assuming we get a little more information because that is fucking horrifying.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm legitimately afraid for you. Please tell me there's a second half of this where there's some, like, goofy prints. You do pranks. Keep going, Annabelle. How do y' all.

[Annabelle]

I did find a note at the bottom of the bag under the rat, and it clarified that this is from an old co worker of mine. Turn friend as a fun little prank. Funnier.

[Jake Johnson]

What is the prank?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pranks are not this strange.

[Jake Johnson]

So keep going. Give us some more information here.

[Annabelle]

So this is a friend of mine that I've known for about four years now, and.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Annabelle]

Does have a history of sort of strange pranks and particularly strange birthday gifts. So, for example, on my 18th birthday, I got in the mail a box of 500 condoms, which was fun to explain to my parents. So it does. It does have some backflip.

[Jake Johnson]

It does have a great gift.

[Annabelle]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your parents.

[Jake Johnson]

Great gift. I told you. My brother used to, whenever I'd move, would get me a subscription to really over the top smut magazines.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The best.

[Jake Johnson]

And so the mailman, when I would move in, it would be like the grossest stuff imaginable and I'd have to make eye contact with him. And my male people always thought I was a big pervert and I had to beg my brother to stop doing it. And then he would get a bunch of pizzas delivered when I'd be home alone. So. Okay, so who is this co worker? Can we get a name for this individual? John Gacy.

[Annabelle]

Sure. Her name's Katie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Katie.

[Jake Johnson]

Katie. Okay. And what's your relationship with Katie? Definitely thought it was gonna be a guy happy. It's a Katie. Less scared. I feel less scared.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. Agree.

[Jake Johnson]

Were like blue. But he tried to date me in high school, but I said no, I'd get scared.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's 55, but he's chill.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Lives with his parents or in some weird basement, but is cool, I guess. So Katie. Okay. And what's your relationship with Katie?

[Annabelle]

Katie and I worked together for a while when we were both late teenagers.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Annabelle]

Since then we have kept in contact. We see each other every once in a while, but not every day.

[Jake Johnson]

And in the picture you sent of the dead rat behind it, there's a Barbie laying on her back with her arms up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Is there a reason there's a dead Barbie behind a dead rat or just random photo?

[Annabelle]

No, I think that's just the serendipitous concern.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, okay.

[Jake Johnson]

So, all right. So we got this set up. I do feel like I'm in a slightly different show. I think I'm in a little bit of a horror picture, but maybe there's a way out of this. Maybe there's some fun. What is? Unless there's more setup. What is the specific question?

[Annabelle]

Well, the specific question is how do I get rid of this dead rat that's in my house?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Garbage.

[Annabelle]

I. That's an easy one.

[Jake Johnson]

Garbage. Literally burn.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Out the window. Get the Barbie out too.

[Annabelle]

One is that living in Switzerland, they have a pretty strict trash system. And there are about six trash cans in my house. None of them have the iconography for a dead rat. So I don't want to get fined. If I throw it out, put it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In a Jamba Juice cup and throw it in trash on the street.

[Jake Johnson]

Throw it in the woods.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Throw it in the woods.

[Jake Johnson]

Eat it. Steve Berg's pitch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Send it to Berg.

[Jake Johnson]

Put marinara sauce on it and. Yeah, you know, we can do actually, by the way, all jokes aside, I have a pitch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do too.

[Jake Johnson]

Send it to us and we'll send it to Steve Berg and we'll do the same pitch to him. It'll just be at his house on his door.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we don't tell him anything. We. This is what we do. We send this rat to Berg. We don't tell him anything. We make up a fake name. Then we have him on the show. Shortly after, we think it's arrived for an intro and we're just doing a catch up and we get it.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then we reveal that we said.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, if. Okay, Annabelle, is this. So the real problem is simply you want to get rid of the rat. You're not worried about Katie. Your question is really simply, what do I do with the rat?

[Annabelle]

No, my question is how do I get rid of the rat knowing that Katie is going to come visit me in June and I don't want to hurt her feelings by throwing away the present.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, first of all, you're sending it to us for Berg. I don't, I would not.

[Jake Johnson]

I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, I don't know your friendship. I don't know how sensitive this person is.

[Jake Johnson]

She sent her 500 condoms, which she was 18. It's not a sense of. Did you say?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, there's, there's at least like a utility to those. This is just like, kind of gross. So I would say that, you know, I would just say that.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's the. No, no, no, no. You tell her about the podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's good too.

[Jake Johnson]

You say you called in a podcast, we're giving it. She goes, where's the route? You said, I gave it to Steve Berg.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Steve Berg has it. And then you can play the intro where we get Steve.

[Jake Johnson]

And she goes, he's the guy who burnt his chicken.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's the guy who was trying to give people advice, but while he was doing the show, he got so baked he forgot he was roasting a chicken and thought he burned his house down.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that's fair. And then she'll go, what show? And you'll go, like, it's a long story. Have you ever heard of the Ballad of Mrs. Gingerbread? Then play the song on blast. She'll get freaked out, then throw some robot glasses on and go, there's a camera in here. And she'll go, a lot of callbacks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Coming at you right now, Bell. But he's right. I think if you send it to us, we'll give it a good home. We'll send it to Berg, we'll freak him out. And then I would. Do you want to be receiving these gifts do you care?

[Annabelle]

I think they're a lot funnier in retrospect than in the moment, but I'm not too worried about it.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

So then we have an easy fix. You know we're going to do. We'll email you after. We'll send you the money for shipping. We're going to. We'll take the rat. We're going to handle this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'll take the rat. We're going to send it to Berg with a fake name in the corner. Yeah, fake address.

[Jake Johnson]

But will you do us a favor then? I've got. I've got something for you, Annabelle, so you can be part of the fun. When will you put it in a package? Maybe put that Barbie in there too and leave him a note? That is a surprise to us and we will not even open the package. I'm going to give you a P.O. box to send it to. We are just going to grab it, resend it to Burke, but we're not even going to open the package until Berg opens the package.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How. How does this sound to you? Are you into this?

[Annabelle]

Sounds fantastic.

[Jake Johnson]

And then let's also do this. But really quickly though, contact Katie and ask what else she thinks you should put in the thing because now you guys have a gag together.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And remember, Annabelle, in the note, we want Steve to be as confused as humanly possible.

[Jake Johnson]

Either way, it's going to be fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, well, I don't want her to say we're here to help her. I want him.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, that's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

To receive this in a way where he's like, there's some energy coming from.

[Jake Johnson]

So Annabelle, what are you thinking of putting in the box? What's in the box?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the box.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, Berg doing a. What's in the box?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's in the box? Within the box. What's in the box?

[Jake Johnson]

But Annabelle, what are you going to put in the box? And do you want to contact Katie and have Katie be part of this with you and do it together?

[Annabelle]

I think she would be the number one brainstormer as the origin of the dead rat. Certainly that's going in there. I do like the idea of the Barbies in various states of disarray.

[Jake Johnson]

Agree.

[Annabelle]

Maybe you can. Oh, you're not supposed to give me any ideas.

[Jake Johnson]

Right.

[Annabelle]

Because it's supposed to be a surprise to you.

[Jake Johnson]

Could it could. We could also pitch on it because I think we solved this problem pretty fast but because we have a second half that could be fun. I'm not against discussing.

[Annabelle]

All right. Go ahead.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, first I was asking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want to hear, I definitely think some condoms.

[Jake Johnson]

How many of Those? Of the 500, how many you still got?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No shame.

[Annabelle]

Well, they do expire after a while, so I think they might have.

[Jake Johnson]

Let me throw some things out of my wallet. What do you mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got to make my phone calls.

[Jake Johnson]

1999.

[Gareth Reynolds]

These Nevada condoms don't work anymore.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on, baby, let me put this on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It just coughed.

[Jake Johnson]

So I've got something that you could put in there that could be a lot of fun. I think the barbies, the rat. And then things that are very specific to Switzerland, like a candy bar or a wrapper or something that he's like. I think this honestly came from Switzerland.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what he would love is like something, some sort of lip tobacco y thing from Switzerland. He would love that.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When I was in Iceland, he was like, I need you to get a very specific kind of lipper.

[Jake Johnson]

So I think we've got a win here, Annabelle, do you mind doing that? And then I can email you later the address to send it to and we can send you money for shipping.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And don't be afraid to throw in like a pair of socks or something like that too. Just stuff that really use socks. Use socks would. Might be nice, actually.

[Jake Johnson]

That gets pervy. A lot of people pay for that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but Steve's. Not that.

[Jake Johnson]

I know, but. I know, but there's a whole business of it. It would change the tone of this if they're like, they just did all this to get that weird girl from Switzerland socks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, how about like a hand towel or something?

[Jake Johnson]

People pay for that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Half used roll of toilet paper.

[Jake Johnson]

People pay for that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What, now you're just making it up? Now you're creating fetishes that don't exist.

[Jake Johnson]

Everything's a fetish. Paper Jacker Berg is going to go like, jesus sent me a dead rat with a Barbie. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

I guess I have a fan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got to go play house.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I think I'm the rat in this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The. And we know the Barbie's my wife.

[Jake Johnson]

So Annabelle, let's do this. Do you feel comfortable doing this? Has this in fact solved the problem?

[Annabelle]

Absolutely.

[Jake Johnson]

Great. Winner, winner. We'll get you that address.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dinner.

[Jake Johnson]

Winner, winner, burnt chicken dinner fiery chicken. Winner, winner, get to stone burn your chicken while you're doing your buddy's podcast. So good. So this is a weird one, but then we'll probably have you. We'll try to maybe have you on the follow up with Steve at some point.

[Annabelle]

Yeah, sounds good.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, Annabelle. There we go.

[Annabelle]

All right. See ya.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you. Appreciate you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See ya. So we want him to open it and kind of stew with it a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, well, I'll. But I'll get a tracking number on it. And then once I know he's had it, we'll do a follow up. And then in the follow up, we'll start bringing things up and try to get it. I mean, we'll be able to trick him. We have had, you know, the story where he bet on a game that had already happened. And we watched.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We got him to bet on a playoff game that had already taken place.

[Jake Johnson]

I also convinced him that the Denver Broncos had decided to be the openly gay team and it was known in the league. And they were only draft. The reason Josh McDaniels got rid of Cutler and Brandon Marshall was they weren't comfortable being on the gay team.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Drafted no Shawn Moreno because they were gay together.

[Jake Johnson]

And that Steve Berg got to the point where he called me up, sad. And he goes, honestly, like, I'm happy that this exists in the NBA, in the NFL. I just wish it wasn't my team.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he said the same to me. He was like, I was just. Because Jake set it all up. And then I text him, are you seeing this Broncos stuff? This is crazy. And then he called me, he goes, this is insane. This is insane. And then he calls his buddy, who's like a huge Broncos guy, and he goes, this stuff about McDaniels and Moreno. This is nuts. And the guy's like, what are you talking about? He's like, he drafted Moreno because they're dating. And his buddy goes, he said his buddy took him off speakerphone and went to, like, regular phone and goes, what are you talking about? And he's like. Repeats it again. He goes, briggy, you are smoking too much weed. Who told you this? But he's like, Jake and Gareth. And. Oh, no. I told him I was listening to ESPN Radio and it was all they were talking about. He's like, they're not talking about it anymore. I was like, they. Because they covered it so much.

[Jake Johnson]

Holy cow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, fuck. This will be great.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode is sponsored by Kachava Kachava Jake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Big fan of Cachava. Basically, it's a protein energizing drink that you can take with you anywhere. There's a lot of times, I mean, I know both of us, when you're, like, working, you're out of your comfort zone. Sometimes you need a quick boost of energy or protein.

[Jake Johnson]

What Gareth, I Brought it with me to Alaska. I was enjoying the goji berries, the chia seeds. I felt very healthy. It was 25 grams of 100% plant based protein. I like the chocolate, I like the vanilla. It was healthy and delicious.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like the matcha and the coconut acai. There's a lot of flavors, but like Jake said, 25 grams grams of protein, which is a lot. And like we said, the flavors are chocolate, vanilla, chai matcha or coconut asahi. Two scoops. Giving you a bunch of superfoods. No artificials flavors, no, not. It's non gmo, there's no soy, there's no animal products. But what it does have is great flavor and lots of protein. So you're gonna love it.

[Jake Johnson]

It tastes genuinely good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It really does.

[Jake Johnson]

And it gives you everything you want. So if you're looking for something nice and easy to get all your health in, you could do it with fro, you could do it in a smoot, a little bit of peanut butter to it. I make a little smoothie in the morning with the ice and I enjoy it. So try Kachava K A C H a v a.com code here to help for 15% off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's Kachava k a c h a v a.com code here to Help for 15% off.

[Jake Johnson]

Hello.

[Annabelle]

Howdy.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, how are you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's our second Audi, Jake.

[Jake Johnson]

Agreed. I got a question for you. We're in the dark here. Is this a follow up or a first call?

[Annabelle]

This is a follow up.

[Jake Johnson]

That's. Oh, so this is the feeling with the laugh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good eye.

[Jake Johnson]

So can you remind us who you are? Have you said howdy in the past? Is that how you started the other one? Are you the howdy lady? Where are we at here?

[Annabelle]

Yes, I'm the Howdy Lee.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Howdy.

[Annabelle]

I got a howdy. I got a dead rat in the mail. That's me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, right, yeah, we're sending it to Burgo.

[Jake Johnson]

No, Natalie sent an email. Something happened. Annabelle, tell us what's going on.

[Annabelle]

Yes, I regret to inform you, upon unearthing my taxidermy brat, which I had received a while ago, I found that it had become decomposing and therefore I found it inappropriate and possibly illegal to send via airmail. Okay, I did, as I was leaving my apartment, run into my neighbor who volunteered to take it and said she was going to use it to place in her garden to guard her plants from real rats. So maybe it sound its real purpose.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so question for you, Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I. I think we're on the Same page. I mean, we're very happy that the Radis found its second home, but obviously for us, this is not a bell ring.

[Jake Johnson]

It's not. Okay, so this is an official no season 2.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But. But what I would suggest is, yeah, we should still send Berg a weird package.

[Jake Johnson]

Maybe we can find some weird stuff in your house and send it to Steve. It would be nice if it came from a different address. But what do you think, Annabelle?

[Annabelle]

I mean, I would absolutely love to be a part of it. If nothing else, I do want to tell you I did text Katie, the person who sent me the rat, and asked for ideas of what to send and she did send me a long list just in case you want to do it on your own or with me. And you need some ideas from.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's hear the list. Because, Jake, let me say the bell's not dead just yet, is it not. It's not. With this little turn here. Okay, we might ring the Annabelle soon.

[Jake Johnson]

But let me tell you this, Justin, then we're not getting the weeds about is it a bell or not? Because this show is not. Do we get to ring a bell? What we turning it into? That's not the premise.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not the premise, not the premise, but the bell. It's sweet.

[Jake Johnson]

It's huge.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

It's huge. Someone gave Gareth a bell. Now we're excited.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

I will say the original call Annabelle, was what? Will you rephrase your first question?

[Annabelle]

Of course. I had gotten the dead rat and I was trying to find a way to have an excuse to get rid of it that wouldn't hurt the feelings of the person who had sent it to me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Jake Johnson]

And we pitched send it to Steve. Turned out it was decomposing. The neighbor took it. We don't. That was not our pitch. She solved the problem, but not by calling in. Now we're starting a whole new problem and it's not. She's not calling for help now. We're. She's helping. So now just in a new zone. Yes, this one in our percentage goes down. God, please let a listener out there who's really into spreadsheets actually do a tally so we can get a real percentage. Like baseball stats.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would also like to know first season, second season stats too. If we're going to do an overall.

[Jake Johnson]

I agree. We might have to do a mass email to anyone who's called in and if you don't want to do a followup, just email back. Didn't help. It better be an email. We bcc every get hundreds of emails didn't help. Didn't help. Didn't help. Waste of time. Never listen. Didn't ruin me. Are weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm ruined.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. You told me to bully a seventh grader. You're weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I hung up flyers. I've been in jail.

[Jake Johnson]

Your advice sucks. Your show's weird. Rocket money dot com. Let's not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because you.

[Jake Johnson]

Annabelle, this is our first one today with Gareth and I were excited to see each other, but this is about you. So what is the list that Katie had about sending this to Stevie?

[Annabelle]

Of course. It's not child appropriate. Is that all right?

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Steve's an adult man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Steve's a grown man. Believe me. Seems like.

[Jake Johnson]

He seems like a little guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sweet, but he's an animal.

[Jake Johnson]

Annabelle, back to you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Annabelle]

All right. Okay. I'm gonna read it straight as I received it from the top.

[Jake Johnson]

I love that.

[Annabelle]

Glitter bombs are a classic. No live bug ladybugs are common. You could also use earthworms or crickets.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna tell you living stuff internationally.

[Jake Johnson]

But it's not internationally. Annabelle, you're in the States, correct?

[Annabelle]

No, sir.

[Jake Johnson]

Where are you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

In Germany, right?

[Jake Johnson]

Switzerland. That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Close enough.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. I don't want to say. You know what? I've done that thing where I release ladybugs because they. You put them on milkweeds and they eat the. I'm not remembering the little bugs they eat. I don't like the idea of getting them and just killing a bunch of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you also. I. I think there is an ethical claim. However, I also don't think you could put worms in the mail. From Switzerland to America to Nebraska.

[Jake Johnson]

Annabelle, Gareth is not wrong here, in my opinion. So what else we got? We're not doing a glitter bomb. I don't want him to have to clean that up. I want to spook him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we want to make him feel like, wait, what's going on?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. So the call he did, which was a really fun call, where he spooked somebody was. There was a call we did with him that I think was his. One or one of his best ones, where it was. Somebody was putting underpants on pumpkins. And Steve called the woman who house it was or something and pretended to be wanting to buy one of the pumpkins. If you haven't heard, you got to listen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. And got like. Was like in love with one of them and got really mad and at one point was like, I am so sorry for being upset here, but you have not returned my call. So I'd like to give Stevie A little taste of his own medicine here. So what's the third thing, Annabelle?

[Annabelle]

Okay, it's only gonna get worse from here. The next thing is used needle slash surgical scalpel with just a bit of blood on it.

[Jake Johnson]

Nope.

[Annabelle]

Some bones.

[Jake Johnson]

Bones.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Nope.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You said bones like a positive until I reacted.

[Jake Johnson]

Agreed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You were like bones. I mean, come on, that's insulting, not bones.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, what else we got, Annabelle? Good pitches, by the way. Katie's shooting with real bullets here.

[Annabelle]

A crayon drawing of the person, plus a kid with a note saying how much they want to meet their long lost parent.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, there's something there, by the way.

[Jake Johnson]

Not lost parent, but I want to meet you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I'm your biggest fan.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Or not. Maybe just what if I want to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Meet you, I want to meet. It was pretty good. With a crayon picture with a grand.

[Jake Johnson]

Drawing of what Steve Berg looks like. Very easy Google search.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

With a little kid that just. The whole package is I want to meet you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And maybe like some Tootsie Rolls.

[Jake Johnson]

One Tootsie Roll.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One Tootsie Roll. And we've got to find out when we reveal it if he ate it.

[Jake Johnson]

Or what we could heal. He'll eat it. Or what we could do is some sweet from Switzerland that you can only get there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's good.

[Jake Johnson]

So that he goes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. We could make it seem like a Swiss boy.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't understand this. A Swiss boy who loves him. And we don't explain how or why.

[Jake Johnson]

This is insane. This is. I got a package from Switzerland with a delicious milky treat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Honey, get here. Look at this. And look at this flaky milk bar.

[Jake Johnson]

There's a real chance he hangs the picture.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I like this. I mean, let's maybe hear a couple more. But I feel pretty that that one has a real kind of charm to it.

[Annabelle]

All right, these are going to go in a slightly different direction. The last few are silicon foot, slash chastity cage, slash large sounding rod.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, chastity cages. It's a diff. At least we have options.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm inclined to go with the. The child picture. And. And I agree.

[Jake Johnson]

Put the child picture in the chastity cage.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't think we could do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I think the FBI would be like, sir, how are you?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, exactly. Is that the last one, Annabelle?

[Annabelle]

That's the last one sounding right.

[Jake Johnson]

Shout out to Katie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Creating a really weird list.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And she covered a spectrum, which is nice. There's options.

[Jake Johnson]

She. She is like a dark chat GPT.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep, yep. Absolutely. All right, Annabelle, so what are the logistically the next steps? I mean, we don't want to ask you to do a drawing, but we probably do. We want Swiss chocolate. Do we want to pretend like it's a Swiss chocolate?

[Jake Johnson]

We need the drawing from Annabelle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Are you making the drawing Switzerland for us, Annabelle. And throwing in some Swedish chocolate and, and a letter that we should probably maybe write now.

[Annabelle]

Absolutely. I also do work with children, so I could.

[Jake Johnson]

If you want to get real kid droids. Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get a real, you know. Okay. How many kids do you work with, Annabelle?

[Jake Johnson]

Why does that matter?

[Annabelle]

Well, I'm a teacher, so 160.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, what if.

[Jake Johnson]

160. What if we take pretty big classroom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What if that's nuts? By the way, now that I'm. Now that I'm actually moving, America ain't so bad anymore.

[Jake Johnson]

Listeners, I gotta pay for my preschool. Well, over there in Switzerland, they got 160 kids in a goddamn class.

[Gareth Reynolds]

60 just stacked on shoulders.

[Jake Johnson]

It's a auditorium.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's nuts. I what I was going to say is Maybe we get 10 kids to do drawings of Berg and we can have one of them write the letter that she dictates and it could be short but.

[Jake Johnson]

But I don't want. No, I'm going to pitch no on that. Here's why I want to scare him. I don't want him to think it's a school thing. What if we do something like this and anything you want to do, Annabelle, I just say no because that's my pitch. But you do you. I would say one kid draws the photo and then Annabelle, have kid write Steve the weirdest message you can. But don't tell the kid what to write. It's like little kid actors. A lot of little kid actors, when they audition, their auditions are spectacular. Then when they get to set, their parents have coached them and they're terrible. Yeah, they're like, I do everything mommy tells me so that I get a chocolate. And you're like, oh, you were such a true weirdo at your audition. Let the just say to the kid, write any message you want to Mr. Steve.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I completely agree. You sold me in that direction. I think you're right. I was thinking of penmanship, but let's get essence and let's throw that all in a box.

[Jake Johnson]

He goes, he goes. There's a little boy from Switzerland who is a die hard fan of me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Man.

[Jake Johnson]

Man, this could be something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

As we've walked Steve through a number of strange worlds. This is a good One I got a good feeling like.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. And Annabelle, you're a big part of this team.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And now we're holding off on the bell until we freak Steve out, but.

[Jake Johnson]

Could you do us a fit? Yes. But could you do a favor? Let me jump in here before you say that, Gary, and wrap us up. Could you take a photo of all the stuff before you send it and send it to us?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great.

[Jake Johnson]

So that we have all the stuff before he does?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's great. It's great. Follow up, of course.

[Jake Johnson]

Great. And then, Gareth, what were you gonna say, buddy?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was just gonna say, are you cool to do all this for us? Will you. You ha. You know where we're sending it? Can you put, like, some you. But just a little bit of chocolate in there? Does that sound good?

[Annabelle]

Define too much chocolate.

[Jake Johnson]

No, you, Annabelle, you and Katie define it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Annabelle]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

You just tell us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I think. Absolutely right. Again, your gut's been real good on this one.

[Jake Johnson]

Real good. I would say Annabelle's has. I thought you're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Both of you, but Jake, you're. You're the Steve whisperer with this sort of stuff.

[Jake Johnson]

And I think we're in a good zone. And I think Annabelle's a real big player in this. And Annabelle, if it was works, and then we get him on and we talk about it. We don't reveal it. We might do this with you annually. Yeah, we might be. This might be the beginning of a very strange relationship the three of us are in. And guess what? Katie's welcome to be part of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Katie's evolved, too.

[Annabelle]

Happy.

[Jake Johnson]

So keep us updated. Send it as fast as you can, because the sooner it's there, the sooner we can get Berg on. Oh, also, we're all going to do his podcast. Gareth. I don't know if he's talking about it. We're each going to individually do it, and we'll do an episode of High Strangeness. So maybe we can do that after he gets it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we should do that. And that way it'll come up a little organically. One of us can get it out of it.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, here's what I'll do on that. I'll talk about strange things that I've gotten.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, great, great.

[Jake Johnson]

Perfect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then we'll have that. And then we can bring him on for the show to talk about it as an extra.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. And then we'll reveal. And I'll go. If he says his. I'll go. That's the weirdest thing, man. You got to come back and tell this to Gareth. Yeah, yeah, and then maybe he'll tell you individually too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great. Okay, so Anna is not a beauty.

[Jake Johnson]

Hi, Annabelle. Could you do this asap?

[Annabelle]

Absolutely.

[Jake Johnson]

You're the best.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you, Annabelle. Appreciate it.

[Jake Johnson]

Do you just hang out without saying goodbye, Annabelle, or did you just get quiet?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Howdy.

[Annabelle]

No, I still here. All right.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, you start with howdy. What's your goodbye?

[Annabelle]

Goodbye.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

All right. How about fair thee?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, but you've hit some dingers today, so we don't expect it to all be home runs.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, look, this is. The game's over. We already won. I'm asking her to come out of the dugout and swing again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, she's tired.

[Jake Johnson]

She's like, I got Gatorade on my back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I won the game. I'm.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm doing preps.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm doing my interview. Bye, Annabelle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you. I texted you the other night that I started thinking about this and I. I genuinely laughed. I was laughing. I was laughing alone.

[Jake Johnson]

If the whole reason we have done this show is for this very well could be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And so. So now Steve is get. The package has been sent to Steve with Switzer Switzerland chocolates and a Swiss boy.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, this is the package. So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So. And we got an email telling us what's in the package.

[Jake Johnson]

We will post this for everybody so they see it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, so in the little boy or girl handwriting, it says for Steven. Spelled wrong, crossed out Steve. Great start. Different colors. I know you can all see this. How we do the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, we can't read it as well as you.

[Jake Johnson]

Hello. I am a Swiss boy. I'm very.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a. It's a remarkable start.

[Jake Johnson]

Agreed. I made this for you with our classmates. We love American raising canes, crumble cookies or in n out. Do you like Travis Scott or having guns? Sorry if it's too personal. Maybe you know our teacher. She is from Scali.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh.

[Jake Johnson]

Hope you are finding it. Please return with answers. No. Nils Dino. Something in yellow. I can't read. Eve's Finn. Mateo P. S. Did you know that Edward Berger is Swiss? Hi. We also wanted to send you Zins, but chat. GBT says it is not allowed. Also, the Rivella has milk in it. Then they sent this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, they're not gonna be able to send the soda.

[Jake Johnson]

They did.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No way.

[Jake Johnson]

It's already been sent.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not going to clear our customs. There's no way. So Death of a Salesman.

[Jake Johnson]

Just to talk it out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shocking.

[Jake Johnson]

And so then out of a hundred times. How many times do you think Steve Berg is going to eat at least some of the chocolate?

[Gareth Reynolds]

God, yeah. I just could go either way. There's part of me that's just like, he's gonna get high and eat it. And there's another part of me where.

[Jake Johnson]

I can just see him getting really paranoid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. And throwing it out right away. I'm not eating that. I could see him have that attitude too. He'll definitely Google the chocolate and see if it's real.

[Jake Johnson]

So one of them is like a grain bar. Then there's Ricola cough drops. Then there's three different types of chocolate and then there's like a soda. And this soda, by the way, is sealed. He's gonna drink this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's not gonna get the soda. You can't send liquid like that.

[Jake Johnson]

But so what are they gonna do? Open the package?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, they're gonna open the package and take the soda out. And then. So it's going to be delayed.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then.

[Jake Johnson]

But he's definitely gonna eat the Ricola. They're packaged like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you mean package? Like it's in a sealed bag.

[Jake Johnson]

Sealed. Like it looks like a pack of cigarettes and it's plastic coated and sealed as well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The chocolate is just regular wrapping. Just chocolate.

[Jake Johnson]

The three chocolates are regular wrap, but the crackers are like a. You have to tear it open to get to it. I would feel like it. Honest to God. I would eat the. Looking at this, I would eat the Rola. I would eat the cracker. And then realistically, I would take my chances with the chocolate because they looked very sealed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would too. He's definitely gonna contact some representative.

[Jake Johnson]

Who?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know.

[Jake Johnson]

He's not, he's, he would be embarrassed. He's not going to want to go like, hey, any auditions coming up?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Also, I don't think, I don't, I don't think he'll either it.

[Jake Johnson]

Any of it. Because we could also make a side.

[D]

Bet.

[Jake Johnson]

Because this is now getting too juicy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, let's, let's bet 50 bucks. I'll, I'll say he doesn't eat it. I can see the paranoia. Well, I think he's all or nothing.

[Jake Johnson]

I think he's either, I don't just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's either in or out.

[Jake Johnson]

Do you think one cough drop will get opened and eaten or none of it will all?

[Gareth Reynolds]

God, I could see him doing something where he's like, I had the cough drops, but the rest. That.

[Jake Johnson]

And the yellow package is one of those. It's packaged almost the way like a, A Granola bar is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm going to say no.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so I'll do a $50 bet that he eats something.

[D]

I got a package from Zurich, Switzerland, yesterday. I'm not joking. They sent me three different Swiss candy bars. Look at these. I mean, these are fine chocolates. These are fines with chocolates. They send me some weird cookie. They send me Ricola. Look at that, right? They send me a weird drink and they warn me that it has dairy in it in case I'm dairy allergic to dairy.

[Jake Johnson]

But it's all sealed.

[D]

It's all sealed. Then the, then the kicker is they send me Death of a Salesman.

[Jake Johnson]

You're an actor.

[D]

Arthur Miller's Death of a Salem.

[Jake Johnson]

Incredible.

[D]

I mean, and, and I'm gonna write them back and send him like some like, I guess, candy and other stuff from America, because there was a return address and it was like a. It was a Swiss school.

[Jake Johnson]

What are you gonna say back?

[D]

I'm gonna try to answer the questions and tell them about what I like in America or what I.

[Jake Johnson]

Please tell me what you're gonna send back, Steve.

[D]

I'll read the letter to you. Yeah, maybe.

[Jake Johnson]

Come on. The Patreon for. We're here to help.

[D]

Yes, yes, yes, I promise.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, no, I could post it to your High Strangeness Patreon too.

[D]

Well, we can, we can do. We can construct a letter in real time. Maybe, maybe, maybe you and Gareth can help me write the letter.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, here's what we can do on mine. We heard that we. We will not help you, but we'll do it with you.

[D]

Yes, okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll talk to Gareth about it. Well, yes, we're doing this 100.

[D]

I mean, but I can't remember, like, oh, so you were just asking me about the pizza. I'm like, like, well, that's a synchronicity crazy. I've never been sent a random package with Swiss candies in a letter.

[Jake Johnson]

That's when you get this package yesterday.

[D]

And like a five o' clock.

[Jake Johnson]

What was your thought of. What was percentage of you thinking of eating it? Even the closed stuff.

[D]

I have not. I mean, honestly, like, my instinct was, oh my God, I'm gonna tear into these chocolate fine Swiss, like milk chocolate. I mean, yes, please. I mean, this is a wafer chocolate, dude. Like, what could be better, right? So my natural inclin is to take a hit of a sativa hybrid and go to town, brother. And then luckily Susie comes home like right, like 10 minutes later, and she's like, what the hell is all this? I Read her the letter. She died.

[Jake Johnson]

The only reason you didn't eat it.

[D]

She's the only reason I didn't. She, she's like, hold on, hold on, hold on. Maybe don't eat some random food.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, that's exactly what we said.

[Jake Johnson]

I go, why didn't you? And he goes, susie came home. And I was like, so now he's home alone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just think I, I, that I, I don't think he eats it.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm going to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, all right, double or nothing.

[Jake Johnson]

But by the way, I don't know how much, but he will have at.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Least, least if he eats any of it. You win. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. So, so 50 bucks. 50 bucks by the, and it's by the time we do the Patreon with him, which will probably have eaten early next, he'll have taken a bite or a sip of one of them early.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh yeah, yeah, right. Okay, yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Or even a rola, whatever it is. But right now everything is closed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Ricola's tough, but I don't think he's going to eat the Ricola for I, I, I hold strong. He will not eat any. He's gonna listen to Susie. He'll get a try.

[Jake Johnson]

Not gonna, he's gonna get st.

[D]

So about, I want to say, six weeks ago, five weeks ago, I received a box in the mail with this lovely handwritten letter that looks like kids handwriting and it was full of like Swiss chocolates.

[Jake Johnson]

This is true.

[D]

Some kind of weird drink called Revella. And then the only thing I haven't eaten yet.

[Jake Johnson]

Wait, how much have you eaten?

[D]

Almost all of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I thought you weren't in it. I thought Susie flagged it and you weren't gonna have any of the.

[D]

She flagged it and then marijuana won.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And does she know that you, does she know that you went against her judgment?

[D]

Yeah, the next day she found, you know, like a, like a rappers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you passed out under like, like.

[D]

Jenny Theft from Sopranos, you know, getting caught in the basement eating a box full of candy bars.

[Jake Johnson]

I remember. You did not eat the. You were gonna eat it. That was the last thing. But you ate everything else.

[D]

Yeah. This is called Darvita. It seems like some kind of high end cheese and crackers and why haven't you eaten it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's waiting.

[D]

Honestly, Because I left it up here and I forgot about it until a minute before this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You gonna do a mukbang and eat it on air?

[D]

If you'd like me to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I think that'd be good for ratings.

[D]

Okay, you want me eat it. Right now. Okay, sure, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Why not?

[D]

The packaging's nice. Wait, hold on, hold on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Asmr. He eats it.

[D]

Wait.

[Annabelle]

Just silent fingers.

[Jake Johnson]

Do you know the person who sent it to you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[D]

It said. I think it was from a classroom.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[D]

Right.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, an entire classroom.

[D]

These are all in crumbles, I'll tell you that. Much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Much. All in Crumbles title.

[D]

Oh, it's excellent. You can tell there's no preservatives. Like, we get crackers over here. Oh, this is the mother's milk. This is like. This is like fine wheat. It's like a Wheat Thin, but elevated. Now they. Now they said there's. They said there's.

[Jake Johnson]

Please do this as a thing. Do they do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you got to develop a relationship with. With whoever this.

[Jake Johnson]

But also new show food reviews.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This whole thing is amazing. But then also for him to eat it is. Is shocking.

[D]

Do you want to know what else I was sent? So I was sent something else.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's more from them.

[D]

I don't think. I mean it. This does not seem to connect. Okay, I was randomly sent another package late last week.

[Jake Johnson]

Is this a joke or for real? Steam.

[D]

It's for real. Here it is. And it came with a note that says, steve, hope you can put this to good use. Enjoy. P.S. don't use it all at once. Ha ha.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[D]

And it is a box full. I mean, and I mean full of little lube. Easy. Lube packets.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What the fuck? Producer Sherlock here. The lube packet origin story will air on a future episode.

[Jake Johnson]

Episode Here.

[D]

Here's where my head is at right now. Jake and I did a podcast. We record a podcast.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[D]

When reviewing the podcast, Jake was adamantly it would not leave it alone. Kept on asking me, have you ever been sent a weird gift? And I didn't notice it at the time. And then eventually in the podcast, I broke out the Swiss chocolate. Was like, well, now that you say I have. I just got sent back to chocolate chocolate. Even the next day, Susie and her outside, we were having a nice glass of wine, and she goes, did you ever think that maybe Jake and Gareth sent it to you? And I did. Somehow I didn't think of this.

[Annabelle]

You.

[D]

I know it was you guys. If you were to go back and listen to the second half of the podcast or record with Jake.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[D]

Jake asked three times. Even when I answer it, he comes back, he's like, no, but have you ever received, like, a weird gift? Gift? Even people commented on my. People who listened to my show were like, jake and Jake said It to you, Jake. It was abundantly clear, even to the listeners. Somehow it went right over my head.

[Jake Johnson]

Guys, I gotta pull the plug on the bit. Steve won.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Damn it.

[Jake Johnson]

Steve won. You won. We've been doing this on you. But you pulled it off, and I blew it.

[D]

Garrett, let me just say that. Well, let me just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I went too hard because I was excited when Susie.

[D]

When Susie said the next day, I was Susie, I was like, I don't know. And then all of a sudden, it was just like a life review. Of all the times you guys have pranked me, and it's a lot, and I bite hard when it. And I did. I'll tell you when I first got it, because I got it like a few days before you were on Damn it. I. First off, I was disturbed. I thought it was like a serial killer.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. But that's why I needed to say, if you remember, I was like, nothing to be afraid of. Nothing to be scared of.

[D]

Yeah. And you were like, you should eat it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's because we had a side. That's because we had a side bet on whether or not you.

[Jake Johnson]

No, I did not go back and listen, I did not say you should eat it. I said, are you going to eat it? Because, Stephen, because Gareth and I made a bet. Would you eat it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we done it now because as of now, I owe you money. But, Steve, did you eat it before or after Susie made the connection?

[D]

About two weeks after.

[Gareth Reynolds]

After the connection, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, wait. So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So now I think you've known this for a while.

[D]

I've known it for about a month. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then the l. You just assumed.

[D]

Huh?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The lube you just assumed was us.

[D]

Too, Right Where I got. I was like, ah, by the way.

[Jake Johnson]

You reverse played us well, because we.

[D]

Were going to do this, like, a few weeks ago. And then some, like, double dogged us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Double dog would.

[Jake Johnson]

Double dog. Double.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I double dog. We lost, but he didn't win. A double dog would have been him being like, we're moving. We're freaked out.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, you're right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a double dog.

[Jake Johnson]

Had.

[D]

Had.

[Jake Johnson]

You flipped this and got us scared and we had to break. That would have been a double dog.

[D]

But I would say I didn't get full double dog, but I. I got.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You are no dog.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth and Jake, we have lost.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We've lost. I also think that the $50 bet is null and void because he figured it out and then ate it.

[Jake Johnson]

So we're off on that. I honestly thought he ate it. I Was so excited.

[D]

I do want to say this, though. When I did eat the chocolate. Yeah, it was fucking phenomenal.

[Jake Johnson]

And you're going to love this episode, Steve. We're going to release this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, now we can finally.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because what happened was we got a call from someone who basically had a taxidermied animal and she didn't know what to do with it. She was disturbed by it. This is in Switzerland.

[D]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And. And we said, well, why don't you send the taxidermied animal to you?

[D]

You.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we came up with this whole thing to send a taxidermied animal to you.

[D]

To me?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Unfortunately.

[Jake Johnson]

Or a weird. Whatever she wanted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The animal basically had disintegrated. So the person called back in said the animal disintegrated. So that she revealed she was a teacher. Then she and her friend who sent her the taxidermy animal came up with the idea that we send you a package from her students with a bunch of Swiss stuff in it. Really? We had the class put together a package and a note and we kind of said, hands off, go for it. They sent that to you? We wanted to let that cook, Jake and I made our side bets as to whether or not you'd eat the chocolate. Etc. We. We were fishing for you to go send something back, but then we got another call about all this lube. This person didn't know what to do with lube. And we thought, well, hey, we're sending Bergey stuff. Let's send Bergey that as well. And so we have so much.

[Jake Johnson]

Steve, I got to give you a lot of credit here, babe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Susie, it's.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't care. That's why they're a team. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on.

[Jake Johnson]

But we, Steve, Gareth and I have been. When this thing first started, we saw.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This going for a while.

[Jake Johnson]

We were like, there's a chance we could do this for six months.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Honestly, longer. Years. You guys were talking longer.

[Jake Johnson]

It could have been a multi year pen pal. And then another person sent the loop. We were like, we could create a thing where one of the responses is, you got something weird, just send it to Steve. And all of a sudden you get like a trampoline.

[D]

I mean, look, I know it all jokes aside, I. I mean, like, the chocolate was exquisite. I mean, as good as it can be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Susie ended the gravy train. I hope you're happy.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. But what I will say, apologize to you, Gareth, and the community. I went too hard in the paint stop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because, Steve, that was our initial burst. You Were just trying to get him to talk about it.

[Jake Johnson]

No, but I said it so many times.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

I literally went like. I go, like, have you been sending anything? And he goes, no, nothing I could think of. And I was like, you sure?

[D]

Well, you kept it.

[Jake Johnson]

No, you. By the way, Steve, somebody in the community might have sent you a comment too, because we've been talking on this, on our show a lot. We've got something cooking with Steve. Yeah, because you. I knew when we hung up that phone. You did not do the math on that.

[D]

I did not know when we were talking. I did not. And I will say you did phrase it well. You got a little impatient at the end, but you would say, like, have you ever received, like, a gift? You were trying to play into the high strangeness. And I kept saying. I kept saying, like, oh, yeah, like a synchronicity. Like you're, you know, like. And I was answering it like a paranormal professional that I am.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Bergie, honestly, I'm happy for you. I'm happy for Susie, and I'm disappointed for the show.

[Jake Johnson]

Go. I'm happy. I'm happy it's ended.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But it's a great run.

[D]

But I mean, like, you know, I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was a great run.

[D]

I can forget like, like, no, we're.

[Jake Johnson]

Not sending you more chocolate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop it.

[D]

No, no, I'm not. I'm not asking for chalk. I'm saying. But for, like, one word to send me, like, some Giordano's from, you know, I can forget about the whole thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[D]

We could keep on going with it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Even you ruined it. If anything, this is the win for the show because Steve was about to get said a lot of free and now he's not getting anything anymore.

[Jake Johnson]

No, you know what? But we got to give Stevie when he deserved it.

[D]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Way to go, Steve.

[Jake Johnson]

Way to go. I'm very happy for you. Last but definitely not least, I need to end this sequence by giving the great Steve Berg the credit that he deserves. Gareth and I have been pranking this man for 19 years and loving it. The three of us have been laughing our asses off, but old Stevie Berg won this one. He beat me. Feels different. Humbling, yet exciting. I'm happy for Steve. I'm sad for me and I. I'm. Gareth didn't lose this one, so I'm neutral for Gareth because I blew this one. So going to our PFF rankings on this prank sequence. I'm a jack. I'm a Jack. And I would like to apologize to the team, being the audience and say that I was overconfident. I was ready to give lessons about how I was going to prank old Steve Berg. But Steve, AKA Alex, is not an eight to my two. He's not even a seven to my six. He's a five to my six. So congratulations, dear Steven, if you make it this far. But I'm not going to tell you about it if you don't. I love you and you've won, dear King. Sleep well, sweet prince. Sleep well. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod gmail.com and if you want to watch video video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] heretohelpod to see our entire catalog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis associate producer Jesse Thurston Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike, animations by Andrew Strlecki. And if you'd like to see Gary Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Jake Johnson]

All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com heretohelpod hey there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're Heredoes. That's the new name we have for you. This is Gareth just reminding you if you have not checked out my new podcast Next, we have also a Headgun production. Please do that. It is a show that just has a lot of good, quick hitting segments that are funny. The show is just silly, goofy. It's a good time. I think people will like it. That's why it was named Time Magazine's Podcast of the Year. That's a lie. Don't look it up. But you know, listen. We're here to help the best. So if you like this show, I think you might like my new podcast called Next we have. Please give it a listen and if you like it, you know, do all that stuff you got to do with podcasts. Appreciate it.