184: A Classic Vinnie Problem & Guest Host Energy

Summary

Episode 184: A Classic Vinnie Problem & Guest Host Energy

Release Date: June 30, 2025
Hosts: Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds
Guest Host: Heather

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Introduction

In Episode 184 of We're Here to Help, hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds from Headgum, the dynamic duo welcomes Heather as a guest host. The episode seamlessly blends humor with genuine advice as they tackle listener questions ranging from annual meat-centric gatherings to personal dilemmas involving honesty and relationship dynamics.

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Caller Segment 1: Vinnie's Meat Fest Conundrum

Timestamp: [15:56] – [28:47]

Caller: Vinnie from the Philadelphia area, aged 25.

Issue:
Vinnie introduces the concept of "Meat Fest," an annual event hosted by his friend Joe where their group of 25-30 friends congregates to indulge in excessive meat consumption and drinking. Having celebrated it for five years (with a hiatus due to COVID-19), Vinnie seeks advice on how to make the upcoming fifth event more memorable and special.

Details of Meat Fest:

• Activities:
  • Start: 7:38 AM with a multitude of beers and house-mixed drinks.
  • Meals:
    • Meat Breakfast
    • Pre-Lunch Rum Ham
    • Lunch Burgers, Sausages, Corn, Grilled Salsa Dunch
    • Continuous Hot Dogs
    • Dinner Ribs, Shrimp, Kebabs, Goat, Chicken
    • Dessert (ambiguous from transcript)
  • Challenges: Managing propane expenses and other miscellaneous costs.

Advice & Pitches:

1. Theme Enhancement:

   • Heather's Pitch ([22:45] – [23:19]):
     "What if you got a whole pig, roasted it like you were in Hawaii, and called it 'Go Pig or Go Home'? It's one animal, simple yet intense."
     This idea aims to simplify the menu while adding a fun, competitive twist.

2. Competition Element:

   • Heather's Follow-Up Pitch ([25:46] – [26:08]):
     "Implement an Olympic-style competition where participants weigh their plates before and after eating. The biggest eater wins a gold medal, and the least consumes a dunce cap."
     Injects a playful rivalry to heighten engagement and memorability.

3. Dress Code & Themes:

   • Heather's Suggestion ([23:45] – [24:15]):
     Proposing a dress code, such as Hawaiian shirts and straw skirts, to differentiate the fifth event from previous years.

4. Interactive Elements:

   • Heather's Additional Ideas:
     Incorporating chants like "All hail the pig" and having winners be carried on shoulders to create lasting memories.

Outcome:
Vinnie expresses enthusiasm for the competitive and themed elements, particularly appreciating the Olympic-style competition, which adds a unique flair to the traditional meat fest.

Notable Quotes:

• Vinnie ([16:49]):
  "It is essentially in its simplicity. Just one giant tailgate."
• Heather ([23:19]):
  "Go pig or go home."

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Intermission: Advertisements

Note: As per instructions, advertisements, including promotions for Schedule 35, Kachava, and HeroBred, are omitted from this summary.

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Caller Segment 2: Jake's BDSM Cooking Class Situation

Timestamp: [29:03] – [65:41]

Caller: Heather from Orlando, previously introduced as a guest host.

Issue:
Heather revisits a previous dilemma involving Jake Johnson's participation in a BDSM rope-tying class. Initially, Jake coerced Heather into lying to his boss by creating a fake cooking class website to attend the workshops. Now, Jake seeks advice on enrolling in an advanced rope-tying course ("Rope 200") that requires time off work, complicating his already strained relationship with Heather due to past deceit.

Background:

• Previous Incident:
  Jake attended a rope-tying course instead of a cooking class, misleading his boss. Although the initial deception worked out, it left lingering tension.

• Current Problem:
  Jake wishes to advance his skills by attending "Rope 200," necessitating time off work on Wednesday nights for four weeks. He struggles with how to truthfully communicate this need to his boss without further lies.

Advice & Pitches:

1. Simplified Honesty Approach:

   • Heather's Strategy ([47:28] – [48:36]):
     Encourage Jake to minimize deception by aligning his existing activities with his new commitment.
     "Shift your truthful Jiu Jitsu practice from Sundays to Wednesdays for four weeks, explaining it as a temporary adjustment for personal development."

2. Role-Playing Exercise:

   • The hosts engage in a role-playing scenario to simulate the conversation Jake would have with his boss, refining the approach to ensure clarity and honesty while maintaining professional integrity.

3. Consistency & Minimalism in Explanation:

   • Heather's Emphasis ([49:53] – [63:26]):
     Advocate for a straightforward request without overcomplicating the narrative.
     "Explain that your instructor has availability on Wednesdays for the month and assure your boss of your commitment by adjusting other work schedules accordingly."

Outcome:
Through iterative role-playing and refining the request, Jake develops a plausible and honest strategy to approach his boss, reducing the need for further deceit and fostering a more transparent relationship.

Notable Quotes:

• Heather ([48:36]):
  "Simpler is better."
• Gareth Reynolds ([50:10]):
  "In the world of lying, it's easier to be closer to the truth."
• Jake Johnson ([63:00]):
  "This is the longest follow for sure."

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Conclusion

Episode 184 effectively balances humor with practical advice, helping callers navigate both social gatherings and personal honesty. Vinnie's Meat Fest problem is transformed from a simple annual tradition into a memorable, competitive event, while Jake's personal dilemma is approached with strategies that prioritize honesty and simplicity.

Heather's role as a guest host injects fresh perspectives, demonstrating the podcast's commitment to dynamic and engaging discussions. The episode underscores the theme that even quirky or challenging problems can be addressed thoughtfully with the right approach.

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Notable Quotes Summary:

• Vinnie ([16:49]):
  "It is essentially in its simplicity. Just one giant tailgate."
• Heather ([23:19]):
  "Go pig or go home."
• Heather ([48:36]):
  "Simpler is better."
• Gareth Reynolds ([50:10]):
  "In the world of lying, it's easier to be closer to the truth."
• Jake Johnson ([63:00]):
  "This is the longest follow for sure."

---

For those interested in similar episodes or wishing to participate, listeners are encouraged to email their questions to [e-mail].

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we are back.

[Heather]

Back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is it nice to be back in the. The back home?

[Heather]

Have we not done this since I was back?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We have, but I feel like you just had gotten back.

[Heather]

Yes. Yeah. I miss Alaska was awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Heather]

But I like California more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. That seems to be what most people.

[Heather]

Say, but I liked it a lot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I told you it was a. It's a good. It's a good break. It's good to like. It's like a fast.

[Heather]

Yeah. Wait, hold on. Where did you perform? I was thinking about it. Where did you do stand Up? At a place called Coots.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Cry.

[Heather]

What was the bar?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was in Anchorage. It was kind of like. It felt like an old movie theater. And I.

[Heather]

Never mind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It might have been that.

[Heather]

So I don't know if there's an old, like, It's a. We shot in there. It was this cool westerny bar with like seven different rooms.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Heather]

Okay. But what was insane was there was a wall of where standups performed there. And I got to tell you, it must have been. Would have been the most intimidating room in the world to go to. And there were names I knew. I'm like, these fucking dudes are showing up to Coots on a Thursday and doing stand up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you know, it's like, there. First of all, there's a whole run you can do throughout Alaska. Obviously, you're not. It's just like seven cities, but you would be like, how is that even possible? If you're doing that, you're not necessarily doing it because you're like, these are going to be huge venues. You, like, want to be there. But when I was there, pe. Like, people were like, thank you so much for coming. And I was like, think. Must be pretty bad if they're like, gareth, bless you for coming here.

[Heather]

What cities did you go to?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I only did Anchorage for standup, but I've been to Juno and Ketchikan. I did, like. I. You know, I used to have a travel show and I did Ketcha Ken for a weekend travel show. We did like, a lot of lumberjacking and stuff like that.

[Heather]

What was the coolest place you went in the travel show?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It might have been Alaska. I. It really might have been. It was like. It was. So we got access to stuff that was just crazy.

[Heather]

Yeah. We had the. The same shoe. We had the same thing where it's like, there's no regulation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It really. It just.

[Jake Johnson]

It.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, this. It s. It probably sounds condescending to people, but it's like. I was like, I'm in the 80s.

[Heather]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, this is like we're smoking and bar. Like, it's just. There's one of everything.

[Heather]

Well, how about this? There was. We went on the. One of the producer's husband at a little plane. And so we would fly around on his plane. And not only were we able to shoot in it, but Corey Michael Smith was able to fly it on camera. And then I was able to fly it. Oh, my brother Dan flew the plane.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is he like? He's not even involved in the production.

[Heather]

Because they would be. You got the pilot and then you got the copilot, but you both have steering, so the real pilot's right there. But you're in the middle of the air and it feels like you're moving a boat. Like you can move it to the right and the whole thing moves.

[Gareth Reynolds]

An airboat, though.

[Heather]

This is not happening in California.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. And to be fair, it shouldn't. That there were certain things in the 80s, like you could have an open can of beer while driving.

[Heather]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Seatbelts were, like, mildly encouraged. There's a reason we got past it.

[Heather]

I think we've talked about this, but there's this really funny clip.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's the. I know exactly what you're gonna say.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think I think about it all the time because it just shows you the way that what maybe feels abnormal now.

[Heather]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In 20 years we will be like, why did we ever have it the other way?

[Heather]

It's people mad because there was a new law that you. You had to wear a seatbelt and you weren't allowed to drink a beer while driving.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The. The. I think the video you're talking about is in Indiana and it.

[Heather]

Yeah, it is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have an open container and people are like, you're telling me in America you can't drink beer on the drive?

[Heather]

It won't walk me through this. I can't finish my job and drink a couple of beers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's really that one. And by the way, that person was the only one where I was like, that's a pretty good point.

[Heather]

Honestly, after a day of work, Gareth, I felt 50. 50.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I really do, too. I think, look, if we're talking about one beer on the drive.

[Heather]

Agreed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like I say this, I do that on stage, where I'm like, I'll have one on stage. I'm not feeling difference.

[Heather]

It's different after the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When I get home. I feel the beer after the drive.

[Heather]

By the way, I. Growing up, when we grew up in the 90s being part of our teenage years. I remember my buddy Clay Allen used to pick me up. He had a little Jeep Wrangler that was open top. And he would pick me up, and he would always have a cocktail in a little plastic cup, and he would hand me one, and it wasn't strange to be like, hey, Clay. And he's like, all right. And you're drinking. I'm like, what's this? And he's like, it's a rum drink. And you're like, we're fully drinking alcohol in a Jeep in Chicago.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And how old are you?

[Heather]

This was, you know, when I was 20, 21.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It's just so it's. It really.

[Heather]

Yeah. Changed the drinking and driving game for me. Look, and I know people are going to go, you know the world when people. And they're going to get annoyed by this. But it was different before. Well, nowadays, drinking and driving is insane, but it's as crazy as smoking cigarettes now. Everybody used to smoke cigarettes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I really. I. I mentioned because I got a dui, and I've. Yeah, back in the. But. But. And. And I. I'm not proud of it. You know, it was a huge mistake. But I've. I have tried to contextualize it when I've talked about it sometimes because I'm like, it was not like now. It was like, I literally would have taxis cancel the time after waiting a half hour, and I'd have to go to LA now. Yeah, you're right. I should have, like, been smart about it, but I was an idiot.

[Heather]

Right? So what happened with your dui?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God, dude, it was just. It was. I was just over the limit. Not by a lot.

[Heather]

Where were you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was leaving. Improv Olympic. Obviously.

[Heather]

I remember this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The whole problem was Jake. I stopped to get Cool Ranch Doritos.

[Heather]

How drunk were you, Gareth?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was. You're. You. You. You're not drunk until you see sirens and then you go, well, I'm definitely. I'm not great. You know, Now I gotta prove it. I gotta prove. But I got it in front of my house. I was parking. I was. I'd made it. That's what I said to the cop. I was like, I did it. What are you doing?

[Heather]

I'm here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm home. I did it.

[Heather]

Oh, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then. And you know who picked me up? Steve Berg.

[Heather]

Amazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A power bar, a banana and a water.

[Heather]

But the next morning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The next morning.

[Heather]

And you spent the night in jail?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I did. I was cuffed to a guy who was like, you and me. Are going to put the system on trial. And I was like, buddy, I want to fly under the radar so we're not on the same page with what we're trying to get.

[Heather]

But you got cuffed to me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got. Yeah. And who is just like, hey, we're supposed to be allowed. I was like, just let. Let them do this, my man. Let them do their thing.

[Heather]

Chill, brother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Please, please. And I was in there for, like, 12 hours. I didn't. I didn't. Here. Worst part, I, I. The toilet was like, in the center of the room.

[Heather]

Shared.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shared. And I went up to it five or six times trying to pee like I was going to die from urine.

[Heather]

Why? Because you had to go to the bathroom so bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Heather]

But you couldn't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Couldn't.

[Heather]

Why?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The stage was too big.

[Heather]

That's the title of your memoir.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The stage was too big. The stage was too big, and I couldn't. And. And you want to talk about embarrassment? Standing in front of humility men and just having your penis out and no pee come out. Four or five. It was.

[Heather]

I wonder what that is. You couldn't pee.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was. I. It was like.

[Heather]

You were terrified.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Terrified.

[Heather]

I would have been terrified.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I was just like. It got so bad that it was like, they're gonna need to cut it out of me or it's gonna have to come out.

[Heather]

It hurts so bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was. I was dying.

[Heather]

I didn't even know that was possible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't either. You've never stepped up to a urinal and not been able to.

[Heather]

I have, but I don't then have to go that bad. It. Something happens in my body where it'll just, like, disappear in there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Heather]

I really have to go to the bathroom. And then I'll be like, this is my opportunity. Like, if I have to take a dump. And I'll be like, what's the bathroom situation? They're like just the weird hole in the floor. My body will go. Like, let's agree to not go to the bathroom on this trip.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, See, I think I'd gotten there, and I think that was bad. But this, like, I'm not kidding. There have been a couple times in my life where the stage is too big. You go to a urinal in England and you're just at a trough.

[Heather]

I grew up in troughs. Wrigley Field.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. See, I. I grew up. I had a charm. I had a charm life. We had our own urinal and most beautiful Milwaukee bars. We're not like Chicago, you know, once.

[Heather]

You get used to using the trough and you just whip it out. It's normal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You call them whoppers.

[Heather]

Yeah, I used to. I remember Berg told me because when I first met Steve I was still drinking and driving pretty heavily.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Heather]

And he was like Jesus, you have got to pull this together. You will lose your license for six months and it'll cost you $10,000.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's not that wrong.

[Heather]

Really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean it did it really look changed your life. Yeah. You realize, I mean look again. It's. We're like laughing but it is like it is serious. It was back then though. It was just. There's no L A transit and we were just idiot young dudes at a theater. Just.

[Heather]

Well what I also realize and it's just how I feel and as I get older I care less about the backlash stuff but the world changes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is what we're talking about. The Indian. You should be able to have a beer on your tri.

[Heather]

And when the world changes, it's then over and the past is the past.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Heather]

And it is what it is and you change with it or you become a weird dinosaur.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I.

[Heather]

But there was. And look, drinking and driving is never good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Heather]

And I also believe if you're drunk. Okay, caller is here and you hit somebody and they die. You should go to jail for that crime.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Heather]

You up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But if you want to read us if you're in front of your house, you let him know you've made it. He made it.

[Heather]

The race is over.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's ended. What are you doing?

[Heather]

We got a caller. Let's get into it. Thanks for everybody for listening. Yeah, we just initiated a new thing of trying to tell somebody and recruit people to listen. We appreciate it. Once we start getting those, we're going to start posting those in for the fun of it and without. Further, further. This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Schedule 35.

[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Heather]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Heather]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Heather]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

It's hard to eat healthy. Even if you try to cut out hot dog buns or bread or bagels or tortillas, any of those things. It's hard. What are you going to wrap everything in? Lettuce? Come on, people are talking. People are looking at you. They're going, what's with lettuce, Andy? So that's why Herobred is great. They make all the things I just mentioned. Burger and hot dog buns, bread, bagels, tortillas. All those things that keep you at your health goals. Why? Because each serving contains 0 grams of net carbs, 0 sugar, 11 grams of protein and 22 grams of fiber.

[Heather]

You never know. It's low net carb and high fiber bread. From the texture, it actually tastes like old school wonder bread. But I say that as a compliment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Personally, I'm partial to in the summer, the hot dog buns, vegan hot dogs, and the tortillas. It's as good as it gets. 11 grams of protein, 0 grams of sugar. You would never know that it's a low net carb, high fiber bread product from its texture. We love it. We eat it. We're here to help. How about we're hero to help? That's right. I did it. So right now Herobred is offering 10 off of your order. Go to Hero Co and use code help at checkout. That's help at H E R O CO. Come on. Hello?

[Vinnie]

Hey, how's it going?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, how's it going? Cool. Can we get your name please?

[Vinnie]

Yes, my name is Vinnie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Vinnie. I think this might be the first Vinnie of the show. Vinnie, where are you calling from?

[Vinnie]

I'm calling from the Philadelphia area.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of course you are. And what's the approximate age, Vinnie?

[Vinnie]

25.

[Gareth Reynolds]

25. Italian. Italian. Parents, time? Family?

[Vinnie]

Yeah, for the most part.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. It's interesting that maybe they weren't and they named you Vinnie.

[Heather]

Vincent, huh? Vincent.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do. Can we. Would you rather go by Vincent?

[Heather]

No, but it's just Vincent.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is your God given name Vincent?

[Vinnie]

It is. It is Vincent. But everybody calls me Vinny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. All right, we'll call you Vinny. All right, Vinny, what's your favorite thing to put in a calzone? What's the problem? What's going on today. What can we help you with?

[Vinnie]

So I don't know if I would necessarily call it a problem, but some years back, a friend of mine, his name's Joe, he came up with this concept called Meat Fest. And essentially the idea being Meat Fest. Yeah. M E A T. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Feels very much like a mini problem.

[Vinnie]

It sounds like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What sounds like a problem of Vinny got. Vinny's gonna call into a podcast. Yo, I'm struggling with Meat Fest just killing me.

[Heather]

Vinny, can you please? Go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How dare you?

[Vinnie]

Yeah. So essentially it is a holiday where once a year, our entire friend group gets together and we spend the entire day drinking and more importantly, like, eating some form of meat for each meal. And we usually start at like 7:38 in the morning. And it can normally go until like 1 or 2am and this August will be the fifth year that we do this. And seeing as it's the fifth year, I am trying to come up with an idea or like, something to put together for the group that can sort of like, commemorate the fact that we've been doing this for as long as we have.

[Heather]

Oh, that's an interesting issue.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you, you, you. All right. So Vinnie sent a document that shows.

[Heather]

Do you mind reading it, Garrett?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure. Okay, so we start with drinks. Lot of beer. Ceremonial mead, house mixed drink, which is pineapple, spice drum, fireball, lot of limes, whatever. Meat breakfast, same as Meat Fest Prime. Pre lunch is a rum ham. Yeah. What is a Meat Fest Prime Prime Ribbon.

[Vinnie]

I will say I did not create this menu, so it's hard to get into his mindset, but I believe Meat Fest prime is like the first Meat fest we did.

[Heather]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Pre lunch is a rum ham. Plus the weirdest freaking thing at the shop. Lunch is burgers, sausages, corn, 15 ears, 30 pieces. Grilled salsa. Grilled salsa dunch, which is a dinner. Lunch is continuous hot dogs, which is just a scary thought. Thought. Dinner is ribs. Load. Shrimp. Boy, oh boy. Kebabs. Goat question mark. No, chicken. It's very stream of consciousness. Dessert. See? Beverages. And then at the bottom there's a note that says, other expenses. Propane. Propane, expos. Whatever. Okay.

[Heather]

All right. So you guys. You guys throw a huge meat party. Yeah, just a. A grill, like a fourth of July thing where you lean heavy into the meats. You've been doing it once a year for. This will be your fifth year.

[Vinnie]

Yeah. So it hasn't technically been five years in a row because of like, Covid and some other stuff, but this is like the fifth year. We've done it since, I think, 2019.

[Heather]

But I would agree that this doesn't. I don't see a big problem here. This is just saying. This is a call.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How do we make it special?

[Heather]

How do we pitch to rename the fifth one and make it really special? Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rename it, or you just want to make it a very special event, is your question.

[Vinnie]

Yeah, just like. Just like, something memorable. I also sent, like, no email.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Or human, no vegetarian. I love it. Personally, I love it.

[Vinnie]

Yeah. I, as, like, a point of reference, like, one of my friends a few years back started making, like, koozies and, like, designing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. We see a koozie now it's got a pig. It says meat fest 20, 23.

[Heather]

How many people show up at Meat Fest?

[Vinnie]

I would say, like, at its peak, anywhere between, like, 25, 30.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Heather]

Because it's a small group. A group of friends just gets together once a year and has a barbecue.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't.

[Heather]

I'm not being me. Yeah, but it. What I'm trying to get to is it means something to you, Vinnie, you were. And you guys seem to eat a lot of meat, but it's not like. Like, there was guys I remember who were, like, really in. Where they would eat, like, the whole thing would be like, we're gonna try to knock back, like, 50 pounds of pork, and it's like. And then you got the guy, like, man versus food, where the whole thing is, like, how much you guys. The menu I just saw was lit. It felt like a Fourth of July thing where I was like, yeah, we're gonna drink some alcohol, some beer, some rum. We're gonna have some shrimploads of it. And then we're gonna have some hot dogs. We're gonna have some steak and some chicken.

[Vinnie]

It is essentially in its, like, simplicity. Like just one giant, like, tailgate.

[Heather]

Yes. That's what. That's. You're more than Fourth of July. It feels just like a big tailgate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Vinnie]

Right. But I think the core of it is not so much the, like, drinking or even the, like, meat per se, but it's like the fact that we can get, at 25 years old, still get all of us in one place together for an entire day. So that's, I guess, really what I'm more trying to, like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would have two pitches to make it a bigger event this year for the fifth annual.

[Heather]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I think. I mean, it is. It's just a tailgate.

[Heather]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So. But you're saying you kind of want to have a Way to make it go. I thought you were saying because it's a fifth one, you kind of want to make this a little bit bigger.

[Vinnie]

Yeah, I. I don't know if bigger is the word I would use necessarily, because I think you're online in the sense that, like, it's special and personal to, like, me in this group, like, 25 people, is not, like, that crazy.

[Heather]

But. But it means a lot to you.

[Vinnie]

Yeah. And I want it to be, like, memorable, like, something we look back at it like, oh, that was really cool that that happened.

[Heather]

How about this? And I say this as a guy who does not like this or eat this, but what if you got a whole pig, roasted it like you were in Hawaii, and that's all you ate, and it's called Year five. We're eating the whole pig. No hot dogs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go pig or go home.

[Heather]

Go pig or go home. It's one animal. It's really simple. It's more intense than anyone had where they're like, ooh, I don't like pig, but I like bacon. Let's look at what we eat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think to what Jake's saying. I personally also don't want to pitch in a meat direction, but you're the caller. We're going to try to help you. So I think that's a good one. I got one after that. But what do you think of something.

[Heather]

Like that as a. As an idea?

[Vinnie]

Yeah, no, I don't. I don't hate that at all.

[Heather]

Especially like, yeah, go pick or go or in that zone. What do you think about dress code required?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like that?

[Heather]

We're doing a lua.

[Vinnie]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Heather]

So we're only drinking on the fifth one. My ties. And you got to wear one of those straw skirts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Heather]

And Hawaiian shirt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like it.

[Vinnie]

Yeah, I do like that. I will say we have, over the last couple of years, done, like, themes for this, and I do believe last year was sort of like a Hawaiian theme shirt sort of thing.

[Heather]

They're doing the themes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, they're doing the themes.

[Heather]

Let me ask you a question, Vinnie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Heather]

What are three things in the back of your head in the zone you were hoping we were going to pitch on? Because you've already done themes. So what when you in your head, you're thinking, I'm gonna call this show. And what I kind of want is something in this zone, but heightened. What zone were you in?

[Vinnie]

I think for the most part, like, I mean, I don't think you're totally off base with, like, the idea of, like, a whole pig and then, like, coming up with some sort of pun for that. I don't think I wanted, like, anything. Like. Like the koozie thing would be cool if it was, like, something I could come up with where, like, everybody got some sort of, like, tangible object that they then bring home.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You did the koozie?

[Heather]

We did.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Here's what I'm gonna pitch off of what Jake just pitched. And since you're saying you want to make it a little special, why don't we do the whole pig? And again, I would. I think pigs are as smart as, like, a three year old. Why are you gonna eat it? I don't know. But we call it the Olympics.

[Heather]

You don't think there's any animal products in your creams?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop. There's not.

[Heather]

I guarantee there is. There's not gelatin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop. You hear Natalie dying out there. Why don't we call it the Olympics?

[Heather]

Okay?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you're. What you're gonna do is everybody's gonna weigh in their plates before they eat them. And at the end of the day, the person who's eaten the most gets some sort of prize.

[Heather]

Let's make it even easier than the whole pig.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Heather]

Same menu. Yeah, but the Olympics still works.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Heather]

And every plate you weigh. And at the end, the winner gets a gold medal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Heather]

And the person who got the least gets a dunce cap.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Vinnie]

I love that. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The loser next year doesn't get to eat. This is where we're going to offset some of the meat consumption. The loser next year.

[Heather]

Don't get political.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop.

[Heather]

No one's interested in that vest and hair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop. Everybody is. People are talking. Stop.

[Heather]

Three girls talked about it, and you've.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Lost your mind at the premiere tonight.

[Heather]

It's not a premiere.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it is. Let's feel good about it. Let's be positive.

[Heather]

Agreed. But it's not a premiere.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is showing up. I know where it is. And you're not going to turn me away if I show up. I know you.

[Heather]

You're welcome to come.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't. I'm busy.

[Heather]

You're not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not, actually. So the next year, the person who loses the first three meals of the event has to only have salad or.

[Heather]

Because I like what he was going with the punishment, but I would make it this year dependent. What I would do is at the end, the loser has to make a speech of why they didn't eat enough. And then they also need to make a speech of why the winner is the greatest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, I agree.

[Heather]

And then everybody needs to chant, yes, all hail the pig.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pig.

[Heather]

And the pig makes a speech while you all carry them on your shoulders.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, what, What? You know what? What else do you want, buddy?

[Heather]

What do you think of that? There's the. It's called the Olympics. You weigh your plate. The. Oh, no, rather the loser at the end stands up and everybody throws garbage at them. And the winner, everybody carries on their shoulder as you chant all hail the king. What do you think?

[Vinnie]

Oh, my God.

[Heather]

Because that'll put some incentive. You're like, yeah, I don't want to do that. So it's like, all right, let's keep going. Let's go. And then you go, you can eat whatever you want. You're like, I don't want to eat all this. But you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to weigh it down with corn, have a strategy. Who cares? And then you've got an official tally to how to keep weight. You've got, like one big board, a dry erase board, and as you go, you just add your numbers. Add your numbers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You want to go full. I don't like this pitch, but you want to go full. Glutton. Just put a scale in there and you weigh in the day as soon as you arrive. And at the end of the night, we weigh in.

[Heather]

That's exactly right. Well, then liquids count. But liquids do count. I mean, by the way, that's what you do, Gareth, is you keep it simple. Everybody, when they first get to the Olympics, weighs in. Everybody weighs in at the end. Who's ever gained the most weight is your winner. Whoever has gained the least gets garbage thrown at him.

[Vinnie]

Yeah, I'm really glad I called in.

[Heather]

Hey, Vinny, thank you for the call. Please follow up with us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, buddy.

[Vinnie]

Thank you.

[Heather]

Thanks, buddy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm really glad I called in. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God. That is so. That is so counter to I want to have happen. And it's also, at the end, I was like, this is awesome.

[Heather]

I'm really glad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm really glad I called it.

[Heather]

Sincere. I'm really glad I called it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is awesome. We're going to weigh in. Oh, I remember when Farve threw that pick, his last pick, to the Giants. It was like four days before I felt normal. Hello?

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, guys. How's it going?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good. How are you?

[Jake Johnson]

Good.

[Heather]

Can you remind us who you are? Jesse, AKA Sherlock, just told us this is a follow up, but that's all we know.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, it's not just a follow up. I have a new problem. So this is Heather from Orlando. And I had the BDSM cooking class situation.

[Heather]

Oh, remind me. This was a while ago.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, almost a year ago.

[Heather]

What the problem was and what. Yeah, I remember this one.

[Jake Johnson]

So what happened was I signed up for a rope tying course. It was once a week for four weeks. And so I needed one night off a week from my job. And I didn't tell my boss what I was doing. I told her I was going to a cooking class. So the class is over. And she had just had a baby and she was like, I'm ready to leave the house. And that cooking class sounded great. I would like to go to that. And I didn't have anything to send her a link to. So we made a website.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We squarespaced the website.

[Heather]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But we made it look like a legitimate cooking.

[Heather]

Can we. Jesse, can you pull it up? Do you remember what the name of the website is?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, you guys called it Friendly Shark. And it confused my boss because she was like, why is it called so?

[Heather]

Is it still there? Is it friendly shark.com?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, we're not. I know that we shout out our sponsors a lot on this show. This website I think that we did on Squarespace.

[Heather]

Wait, did you make this or did Caitlyn? Yeah, Caitlyn did a great job.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It still looks so legit.

[Heather]

Yeah. By the way, shout out Caitlyn who used to do our social media. She's excellent.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Awesome. She's doing great too. So, okay, basically the site's up. It says, where to next? That shows a bunch of things. It's. Yeah, it's totally legit.

[Heather]

You say, are you ready to create? Yes, Shadow.

[Vinnie]

This is great.

[Heather]

Okay, so we made this site, then we brought you back on. This is sniffing like it's going to be a Wednesday re release now that we got the two and then Gareth caught us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Heather]

And so what is the real follow up then?

[Jake Johnson]

It's a new problem.

[Heather]

Wait, hold on, hold on. But then we still got to go to the other one. So what did you follow up with us in that follow up again? Will you remind us? We've done about 400.

[Jake Johnson]

So the follow up was. She believed it. I shared screenshots with you guys last time about our text messages and we kind of made fun of my boss a little bit, to be honest with you. We were like, wow, she was dumb. So she believed that it worked out fine. And yeah, I basically sent her another cooking class that actually exists. And she never went to it, to be honest with you. But she was like, oh, thanks, I'll do that.

[Heather]

So ring the bell.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So the bell's rung, right? That. That situation.

[Jake Johnson]

You guys never rung the bell for me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'll ring it.

[Heather]

Well, we don't have one now. The new studio. Yeah, I know it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're together.

[Jake Johnson]

It shouldn't even be era.

[Heather]

We're ringing it. We're ringing it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's ringing. We'll do it in post.

[Heather]

Is it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're together.

[Jake Johnson]

This is more everybody. Don't you hear it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. All right. Heather, come on.

[Jake Johnson]

That's a good acting.

[Heather]

Hey, hold on. We do have a bell.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's a weird little clay thing.

[Heather]

Hey, guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like something my mom would hang under one of her weird plants.

[Heather]

That wouldn't. Pam wouldn't send something like that. Stop. Hang a pair of panties.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop.

[Heather]

Because they're dripping enough. Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You need to. We. I'm gonna call in our own show. Stop. Stop everything. Jesus Christ.

[Heather]

Are we 69?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, Jake, it's my mother.

[Heather]

It's my lover.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop.

[Jake Johnson]

Tied up your mom.

[Heather]

You stop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Quiet. Heather.

[Heather]

We took the class together with you. We learned how to each other up. Pam tied me up and then called me a sizzling fajita.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I hope she ties you up and throws you in the hot tub.

[Heather]

She does her hot tub.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. All right, listen, Heather. We got a. We're actually up against it. We have a really tight schedule today, so we can't around too much. More like that, unfortunately.

[Heather]

Stop.

[Jake Johnson]

Around. Garrett.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Heather.

[Heather]

I agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Heather, just. Heather.

[Heather]

Tie Gar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Heather, you are ti. Jake's timing.

[Heather]

Quick pause.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Heather]

How was the tying up class? Yeah, actually, don't say yet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Actually, we're blowing out.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, that kind of leads into the new problem. If you want to get into it.

[Heather]

Yeah, let's get into it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rope prices.

[Heather]

Things are good. Yeah, you need a new rope. I'll just cut off one of little chops of eggs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Boy, I can't tell which side of the bluff you're shooting from anymore. It was all over the place.

[Heather]

Just chop off his hair and tie up anybody you want.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, does anyone. If you saw someone drive to a BDSM class naked, would that be strange?

[Heather]

How about with a 70 year old woman on his lap?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's enough.

[Heather]

That's what she said.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Enough.

[Heather]

That's what she said.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's wrong.

[Heather]

Not. That's what she said.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what I'm saying.

[Heather]

But I convinced her it's not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop.

[Heather]

And she fell for it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Heather. Heather, stop. Stop. Jake. By talking now. Please. I'm Gonna Venmo you $150. Heather. Heather.

[Heather]

Thank you. Heather, I'm with you. He's interrupting everyone today. He's wearing a vest. You put this guy in a vest with some curly hair, he won't shut up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake. I wouldn't be surprised if after I found out Jake had been drinking.

[Heather]

Same with you.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

So I found out that the same place I went to the first time is having a rope 200.

[Heather]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And I want to go to it. You have to have had the 101 class.

[Heather]

What was good about 101? What'd you learn?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Heath Filler Sailors?

[Jake Johnson]

Just the basics, really. The basic stuff. Honestly, a lot of it was just about how to be safe in the kink scene and how to be safe with rope.

[Heather]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And just like the dangers of, you know, nerve damage, stuff like that. And so we just learned a lot about that. And then we Learned Basic, like 1 column, 2 column ties, and then a few other things. It wasn't like a ton of information, to be honest with you. It was a lot of foundation.

[Heather]

So you've been using the. The role play in your life and how's it going?

[Jake Johnson]

Well, good news is I'm single now. I got out of a six and a half year vanilla relationship earlier this year. And so I've been playing a lot more and it's been going really great.

[Heather]

So. What do you mean? So you were in a vanilla relationship so that your partner wasn't interest the ropes?

[Jake Johnson]

That's correct. So that's why I went with a friend last year.

[Heather]

And what happened when you brought it up with the partner? Walk us through that chat.

[Jake Johnson]

I had to convince this man to let me go this class because he. All of the BDSM stuff made him really insecure because he wasn't. He didn't want to be part of that world.

[Heather]

I understand.

[Jake Johnson]

He didn't want me to be part of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you're in. If you're into BDSM and you're in a relationship, then that isn't.

[Heather]

It's tricky.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You must have known that this was probably not.

[Heather]

You're hoping maybe there's a chance.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I guess it's a confining.

[Heather]

Yeah, that's really helpful. I'm totally with you. You should see his hair right now. And so now you want to go to the next level. And that's 201. Rope tie in.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Heather]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

So the problem is I would need to get off work once a week for four weeks. Wednesday, 7:00pm Remember, I did this last year.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How, how this is tough. How long? Seven weeks.

[Jake Johnson]

No, it's four weeks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Four weeks.

[Heather]

Medical procedure?

[Jake Johnson]

No, she's a doctor. She's basically my doctor. I talk to her about everything.

[Heather]

What do you guys talk about?

[Jake Johnson]

If I have a problem. I mean, she wrote me a prescription this morning because I have a sore throat. Like he's not gonna buy it that I have a procedure once a week.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or four weeks therapy.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you think about therapy at 7pm?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Heather]

Wait, 7pm oh, wait, that's when the.

[Jake Johnson]

Time the class is.

[Heather]

Wait, what.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What time do you work?

[Heather]

Yeah. What is your work schedule again?

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, well, I've been working more nights because she started paying me overtime that year.

[Heather]

Bosses.

[Jake Johnson]

I've been working a lot, so. So the thing is, is I need. So maybe I'll be off at 6pm one night, but I still need to get over there and be at the class at 7 and so I really need to be off by like 5:30.

[Heather]

Okay, so you do need a way out every. Let's say Friday. For seven weeks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

For four weeks?

[Jake Johnson]

No, for four weeks, guys.

[Heather]

Four weeks. Okay. Sorry, sorry, sorry. There's just a lot of information. The rope stuff and. Gary. No, no, it's not you, it's us. We've also been really weird today. It's okay, it's okay. The audience will love it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I bet they will. Honestly. We started at Saint.

[Heather]

We started, but. So this is a big one. This is a big one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. It doesn't.

[Heather]

I mean, I think here's what we should do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Heather]

I'm gonna come wherever you are, tie me up and then we'll see if we can get a gorilla around.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that's worth a shot.

[Heather]

Let's just do it. T me up and then I got a guy who makes dinosaurs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Heather]

For $5,000 we could make.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stay away from.

[Heather]

Tie that thing up and get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stay away from Jake.

[Jake Johnson]

You know what we never talked about Jake is I do Jiu Jitsu.

[Heather]

You do?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Heather]

Holy cow. What belt are you, by the way?

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's our. Out.

[Heather]

By the way, what you have. Wait, by the way, what belt are you.

[Jake Johnson]

No. So I hired a personal trainer.

[Heather]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So we just did it like one on one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, look, this is. You already have the beginnings of your life.

[Heather]

I do too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you're the Jiu Jitsu you're going to. Yes. You now are taking Jiu Jitsu at night once a week for the next. What you say is you're going to take it every night for a little while and then after Four weeks, you say it wasn't for you.

[Heather]

Here's what. Here's what I think you should consider saying.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Heather]

Your trainer is asking that maybe you start competing in order to get your blue belt. And so they want you to step it up a little bit to see if you're going to compete. So they want for four weeks at an earlier thing, if you could put in, like a big two hour intensive. And you're very nervous, but you just want to give it a month to see if you're ready to do this. And then after the month go, I've realized I'm not ready for these group classes. I'm not ready to start rolling more. But thank you for giving me the time to do it. And when you're talking about your excitement about the ropes, you just pretend you use that excitement, but you talk about the jiu jitsu. It's all the same tying up. You really learned how to lock things in, by the way. You got a thing with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, she likes to be confined.

[Heather]

You like to be confined and confined if you're a Jiu Jitsu practitioner.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So.

[Jake Johnson]

I'd like to respond, please, and.

[Heather]

I'd love getting her up, but, yes.

[Jake Johnson]

I think this would be a bigger stretch than you guys know. I don't think. I think this would be, like, kind of a big lie because she knows I do it on Sundays, usually.

[Heather]

Understood.

[Jake Johnson]

And it's for, like, self defense and for, like, exercise.

[Heather]

Of course it is.

[Jake Johnson]

So it would be a big stretch for me to say, hey, now it's on Wednesdays.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It can be both once a week.

[Jake Johnson]

But she's saying it's for competition, and it starts this Wednesday. No, I can't wait and change it another day. I have to go this Wednesday.

[Heather]

Okay, I understand. So it's not gonna work.

[Jake Johnson]

You know what I mean?

[Heather]

But I'll tell you what's also not gonna work. A new fake cooking class.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, we can't do cooking.

[Jake Johnson]

She wanted to go to the class last year.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know.

[Jake Johnson]

It would be weird for me to say, like, oh, it's back in town.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about this? How about this? There's someone who you are trying to go out with. Your schedules are completely upside down.

[Heather]

Can't do that. Four weeks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You could start. Wait, wait, wait.

[Jake Johnson]

Very supportive of my love life nowadays.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, I've got. I've got two.

[Jake Johnson]

He supported me in the breakup.

[Heather]

Sorry, hold on. Garrett keeps interrupting. I can't hear you. Because he talks so much and he insists that his mic is louder than everybody else's. So it's all I hear.

[Jake Johnson]

I think you should consider a gag. That's all I'll say.

[Heather]

A gag.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm in.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll still get bits.

[Heather]

He would talk through it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You got. I'll eat through it.

[Heather]

It will be the first time the gag dissolves.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, I've been there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have special bit enzymes.

[Heather]

So she's really interested in your love life.

[Jake Johnson]

Very supportive. I stayed with her when I broke up with my ex. It was a really hard time. She was super, super supportive.

[Heather]

Can I interrupt for a second?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It that's all you've been doing?

[Heather]

Why not be honest with her? She sounds like. She sounds like an amazing friend thing. Oh, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because what she's worried about last year.

[Jake Johnson]

I lied to her last year, and I think it would, honest to God, creep her out that we made a fake website and I tricked her.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not going to tell her about that part.

[Heather]

I don't disagree with this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, look, I don't disagree.

[Jake Johnson]

She'll be like, please, why would you make a website?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Honestly, it is so much weirder than being in a BDSM class. To be like, I called a podcast and we made a fake cooking website.

[Heather]

That'S still in a danger zone that you're stuck.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this is what I would do. I would say one of two things. Either you do the thing where you say, there's someone who works regular hours, and for whatever, they work two jobs. There's one night a week when you guys can really hang out. It's gonna be this. You do that for four weeks, it didn't work out. Your schedules are topsy turvy. Or you say, that's a good plan. Or let's say next one is, you say the next four weeks. I had a friend of mine who gave me a birthday present and signed me up for speed dating. They're going to do it for the next four weeks. So the next four weeks, I'm going to speed dating.

[Heather]

This gets hard because then you guys start making up who you're on the dates with if she asks. We're looking to simplify the lie because the other part of this that gets complicated is that you like her. I got something crazy. Yeah, I got something crazy. And don't say yes unless you like it, because I don't know if I like it.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, okay.

[Heather]

What if we have her on and we admit Gareth just gave me scared eyes?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, let me just say. Let me just say this very quickly, Heather. During the last pitch, Jake said a pitch that made Jesse. Sherlock. Go. Whoa. And it worked out. So I'm not. Sometimes you want to take his hand on this one?

[Heather]

I don't know. But here's my thought. You and this woman have a wonderful friendship, and you seem like you've gotten a lot closer in the last year since your breakup.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Heather]

So it is true you lied, but you don't want to keep lying. And the reason you lied was you were embarrassed she was going to judge you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I also think if you wanted to go this route in any capacity, you also were in a relationship where you felt a little bit of shame over something that you liked, and you weren't sure how much that would carry over. And now you're taking the power back.

[Heather]

And you don't want to keep lying, but you don't know. Know how to admit that the first thing was a lie, but you would love to be honest with her, and you blame it on us. And you say, I called into this show, but you go, like, I called into this show because I thought it'd be funny. And these goofballs did this whole pitch. They made a way. And. And you go, like, I liked the attention of it. I thought it was fun, but I didn't ever want to hurt you, and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't want to lie to you.

[Heather]

And I don't want to lie again, but I want to go to 201, and she's gonna go, I want you to take the class. And if we can do it right, she's gonna be laughing, and then we can all look at the website together.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think. Well, what's your gut reaction to that?

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, I. My gut reaction is I like it, but I. I have a little bit of fear just because I know she will listen to that call. The episode that I did. And.

[Heather]

Yeah, that's what you said.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We were making fun of her. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

What?

[Heather]

Okay, you were saying we were making fun of her a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

I think we did. A little. Like.

[Heather]

Okay, I understand what you're saying.

[Jake Johnson]

The episode. Like, I lied because I wanted to get out of work, and I knew that the cooking class was not a.

[Heather]

Good enough reason that we can't do it. And also, sometimes you say things that you don't even fully mean. You're just having fun on the podcast, but the other person will be like, why'd you say that? And you go, like, I honestly didn't mean it. And they go, why'd you say it? And I go, because I've never seen a man at your age start per. Perming his hair. It's curling cream and then curling cream.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like gel.

[Heather]

And then I go like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It would be like having gel is what they. The person would say.

[Heather]

I'm trying to talk to her first.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I understand, but I'm just saying I'm jumping in to give Heather.

[Jake Johnson]

I'd really love to hear Jake.

[Heather]

What's that?

[Jake Johnson]

I'd really love to hear from Jake in this moment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Heather, that's come across very strongly.

[Heather]

You're really trying to calm down my heart, and it's working.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We know whose team you're on. Heather, I'm still going to try to help you with your problem.

[Heather]

You now tell me after Jiu Jitsu.

[Jake Johnson]

And I would love for you to start helping Garrett. That would be great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Heather, I'm the guy who pitched the dating one that you've responded to most.

[Heather]

That's true.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do I need to reintroduce myself?

[Jake Johnson]

Hang on. You said once a week for four weeks. Speed dating. That does not exist.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was my second pitch. That was me talking past the clothes, Heather. That was me talking past the clothes. Heather.

[Heather]

Here's where we're at. We need to create. We need to create something for you that is a clean way out of this. If we start the boyfriend thing, it's going to lead to a lot of lies. Are you comfortable with that? If you are, we can create a thing. I don't want to just do the role playing for the fun of role playing. And I'm going to tell you why, because I don't think that's going to work. I think what you don't want to do is keep lying to her. And I think that's going to create a lot of questions here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's really your comfort level. I think the problem in that pitch is that there's going to be a lot of specifics. If you said you're going to take a botany class.

[Heather]

Exactly right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you said you're going to take a botany class for a month. Month. She's not going to want to hear about that.

[Heather]

I think it's Jiu Jitsu. She won't want to talk about Jiu Jitsu.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think the Jiu Jitsu one works. But Heather Nixon.

[Heather]

So. But what if you said this, Take away the tournament and all that, say, hey, my instructor this week can't do weekends. He can only do Wednesdays. Is it okay if in May I get out early just so I can do Jiu Jitsu, but then in June, I'm back in?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's great.

[Jake Johnson]

That could work.

[Heather]

And if you say, if we want to make up more time, I can do it on other days of the week. I won't miss any hours. I just. For these four things. He needs me to do it on Wednesday. It's the only time he's free. And I don't want to fall off because in the. The Jiu Jitsu game, once you fall off, it's really hard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You might pull your knee playing with a doll.

[Jake Johnson]

So I would say to her, like. Because we talk about, like, I'm about to start living on my own for the first time and she's been trying to help me feel ready for it and confident and we talk about like, how to save money and stuff because she's really good at that kind of thing.

[Heather]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

So I would say I've been considering, instead of my personal trainer, what if I try taking a class? It's a lot cheaper.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great.

[Jake Johnson]

And there's a really good one on Wednesdays. But it's at 7.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do I do? Great.

[Heather]

But here's the catch. Maybe goofy.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, go ahead.

[Heather]

So heth. Er we are. Heath and J. Date each other. You're getting Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just go.

[Heather]

Have. Do you want more lies? If there's a class, is there a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Website for the classes your friend recommended?

[Heather]

What if she says, maybe I'll try Jiu Jitsu?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We got a website.

[Jake Johnson]

It's not going to, though.

[Heather]

But why do we do a class as opposed? Here's what I'm saying. Let's create the simplest thing possible so you can lie to this woman as little as you can get through this class and move on. You already take privates, you do it on Sunday. He can only do Wednesdays. Four weeks, that's it. How were they? Whatever you did on Sunday, you talk about it on Wednesday. It was good. What do you think of that clean trainer?

[Jake Johnson]

I think you're right. Simpler is better.

[Heather]

Yes. How was it? Great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a world that she's disinterested in.

[Heather]

Yeah. And you already do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You already do it.

[Heather]

You are going to do it every Sunday. You just say Sundays. Wednesday for four.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is. In the world of lying, it's easier to be closer to the truth.

[Heather]

Yes. As opposed to now there's a class. How was the class? What'd you do in the class? Did you spar? Yeah. There was a guy named Jeremy. What Jeremy look like he had a goatee. He did. Yeah. He did this. What are we talking about? Yeah, what did you do on Wednesday? Well, what you did on Sunday He.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep, doing it.

[Heather]

What you do on Sundays, you just move Sunday to Wednesday. Where do you guys do it? Wherever you did it. What? You practice.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Heather]

Yes, it does. Well, but what do you think?

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so I would say let's start the role play.

[Heather]

Gareth, would you like to be the boss?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no network.

[Heather]

It's gonna be. It's gonna be network pastime studio pastime producers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm just a guy who showed up at the fence of the creative past 10 years. There's literally. Why did I even look at the sides?

[Heather]

Because they were around somebody else's. And you said, can I look at those sides, brother?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I took a picture of them, zoomed in and printed it.

[Heather]

So here's what's gonna happen. He's gonna jump in because he's very excited about this southern voice. And now he's just gonna steamroll.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I'm out.

[Heather]

Out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I promise.

[Heather]

Okay, Heather, are you ready to practice?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Heather]

All right, so where. Where are we?

[Jake Johnson]

All right, so the kids are napping.

[Heather]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And the kids are napping. You come down.

[Heather]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. What kind of fantasy are we in?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was talking about role playing at your job.

[Heather]

Kids are napping. I come down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ. Heather.

[Heather]

Heather, what are we doing here?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you know what we're doing here, Jake.

[Heather]

Hey, where are the ropes? Do I have them or do you have them?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You have them.

[Heather]

Why are the kids napping? They're at somebody else's house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We might get caught.

[Heather]

Also, it's a fantasy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's no kids, by the way. If it's a fantasy, it's definitely your fantasy.

[Heather]

The kids are asleep in you. We only have an hour.

[Jake Johnson]

We're about to practice the conversation.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We are, we are. But what was the kids. What are they napping?

[Heather]

We haven't heard about kids up to this point.

[Jake Johnson]

He's my boss and I'm her nanny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, right. I forgot. Jesus Christ.

[Heather]

I forgot and I forgot about that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I honestly. Wow, what a twist.

[Heather]

Cuz I was thinking with the doctor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what I thought I picturing in a medical room.

[Heather]

That's why you said the nights of how late do you work?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kids are sleeping.

[Heather]

Now I remember that you were her nanny.

[Jake Johnson]

That there's a tear in my eye. That was so funny. I was like, yeah. What's confusing? The kids are napping. That's when we talk.

[Heather]

It makes perfect sense again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, who the hell was I gonna be? Ha. I'm a robber.

[Heather]

Okay, so the kids are napping.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Heather]

All right, now we're back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here we go.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Heather]

And are we doing eyes open or close?

[Jake Johnson]

Who's my boss? I'm gonna go have.

[Heather]

What are we doing? I'm your boss.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You've never asked this one before.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Heather]

I did it to you before.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Eyes closed.

[Heather]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Heather]

Do you want to do this with our eyes open or closed?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's crazy.

[Jake Johnson]

I'll close my eyes, and then you guys decide for yourselves.

[Heather]

Okay. All right.

[Jake Johnson]

It'll be like a personal journey for everyone.

[Heather]

You learned that in the class. I like being more rulesy. Garrett's are open. But he's not even invited.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm fully aware. That's why mine are open. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Classic creed.

[Heather]

Yeah. We're literally saying this is an invite only.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Heather. Heather. You have guest host energy.

[Heather]

Heather, I want to say, first of all, you're doing a great job. We've been medium tonight.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't agree. I've been crushing. Heather, you've been a bit of a problem. Go ahead. Close your eyes and your mouth. Close your eyes and your mouth. Hey.

[Heather]

Hey. Hey, creep. This is why guys like you aren't invited.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey.

[Heather]

Never.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Come on. Back off. All right, girly. It got. Hey.

[Heather]

Your weird hair. Stop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nude driver.

[Heather]

Okay. Heather.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Heather]

Our eyes are closed.

[Jake Johnson]

Me, too. All right. I'm doing the dishes. The kids are asleep. That's the water. Oh, hey. How's it going?

[Heather]

Good. How about you?

[Jake Johnson]

Good. Just doing these dishes.

[Heather]

Everything okay?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, mom, he woke up. This is so stupid and loud. You should just get to it.

[Heather]

Hey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now we're gonna go back to bed.

[Heather]

I'm. Use those ropes. Tie that kid up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Excuse me. That's a crime.

[Heather]

Okay. And from the top. Heather, let's do a little less insane with the dishes and just more.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm so sorry. I got excited.

[Heather]

You got excited. It's okay. Just regular, real humans.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, all right. I'm trying to picture her now.

[Heather]

I walk down the stairs. No, you're you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait.

[Jake Johnson]

We need to come up with a name for her.

[Heather]

No, you're you.

[Jake Johnson]

I know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way. You guys sure you don't want me on this project? It seems like a bit of a train wreck.

[Heather]

You're talking about for the boss.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Someone to clean it up a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, So I can say, like, hey, Selena.

[Heather]

Trick.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Heather]

Great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Very creative. Action.

[Heather]

He doesn't call action. He doesn't have that authority. He's literally worthless. He's like a PA on a set. You ever heard a PA call action?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And egg sandwiches? Oh, sorry. We rolling?

[Heather]

Okay. Ready and Action.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you, Jake. Hey, Selena.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cut. Let's go from the top.

[Heather]

Legit pa. He's the producer's son.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey. Cut.

[Heather]

All right, let's go from the top. If he says that again, just avoid. He's the produce.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We have money involved in this.

[Heather]

And action.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, do you have a second?

[Heather]

Of course. What's up?

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. You know how I do Jiu Jitsu on Sundays?

[Heather]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, he was asking me if I can move to Wednesdays for a little bit. And I told him I could, like for a few of the weeks. But I have work on some of the weeks. I was wondering if it's okay if I leave by 5:30 on Wednesday for maybe like a month.

[Heather]

Is it indefinite or is it just a month?

[Jake Johnson]

Just for a month.

[Heather]

Okay, let's start overhead a little bit cleaner. And you didn't tell them yet? You're asking her? Yeah. You're asking her first?

[Jake Johnson]

How do I. What's my reason that I know that it's only a month?

[Heather]

Okay, let me. Let's reverse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're Selena, Are we doing eyes open or close? Because you said close. Your eyes are open the whole time.

[Heather]

I'm doing eyes open.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Heather]

I just want to see where the mic is near Garrett's face. So I know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just want everyone to be honest.

[Heather]

Okay. Ready? Hav.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No need to lie to each other.

[Jake Johnson]

Ready?

[Heather]

And action. Hey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey.

[Jake Johnson]

Did the kids down go okay? Wait, did the kids go down okay?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Excuse me. Cut. I don't mind calling it on that one. The hell happened? Back to one I had name. Heather. Take a look at the script real quick. It sounds like you euthanized the children a minute.

[Heather]

That one did the kids.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can we put the kids down twice? Good.

[Heather]

Now, did the kids. Down for a second.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did the kids down for a second not wake up?

[Heather]

Heather, I need you to take a breath and just. Let's just be in the moment, right? And action. Hey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Me.

[Heather]

Heather. Heather, I now have to say. Okay, you're doing a very bad job.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Back to one, guys. We're losing daylight.

[Heather]

Heather, I need you to. I need you to step up a little bit, okay? This is falling off the rails. I need you to just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know you like to be tied up, but where's the tongue?

[Heather]

Okay, are you ready for this? We're gonna do it right now.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, I'm really ready.

[Heather]

Action. Action. Heather.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. I didn't know if you wanted to start.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my goodness.

[Heather]

Let's start over. Let's start.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're still rolling.

[Heather]

And action.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, did the kids go down okay?

[Heather]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was no problem. Everything was fine.

[Jake Johnson]

Ah, good.

[Heather]

Yeah. How's everything with you?

[Jake Johnson]

How are you? Oh, you know, I'm doing great. How are you though?

[Heather]

Meeting Heather. Heather. Heather. It's a tad aggressive. Yeah. Let's just. Let's just feel each other out a little bit. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, all right, all right. I'm not on this project. It's a bit of a train.

[Heather]

It's not great right now, but we're about to find it right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's find.

[Heather]

But let's not think about what we're going to say, Heather. Let's just be in the moment together. Let's as if we're musicians. Let's play jazz.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Heather, as a threat. I'm about to do cat voices.

[Heather]

And action. Hey.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey. How's it going?

[Heather]

Good, how about you?

[Jake Johnson]

Too good. Just got off a big call.

[Heather]

Oh yeah? What was the call about?

[Jake Johnson]

I had to present this new project to corporate.

[Heather]

Oh no, wait, what was the project?

[Jake Johnson]

Kind of a mess.

[Heather]

What were the details of the science, blah blah blah.

[Jake Johnson]

Medicine, blah blah.

[Heather]

Yeah. Could you mind being a little bit more specific? I'm interested.

[Jake Johnson]

I usually am specific with you, Heather, and you don't remember the details.

[Heather]

That's true. You know me. What's your favorite memory we've shared?

[Jake Johnson]

Probably when you raise my kids so lovingly. You're really great.

[Heather]

You are the absolute best. Hey, can I ask a favor?

[Jake Johnson]

Sure, anything.

[Heather]

So my Jiu Jitsu instructor cannot do Sundays for the the month of May. And he asked if I could do Wednesday nights so I would have to leave here at 5:30, but it's only for May and then after that it goes back to Sundays. But I wanted to ask you before I said anything, is it okay if I leave early? Just on Wednesdays for like a month?

[Jake Johnson]

I think so. Let me double check.

[Heather]

Awesome. And if it's not, no big worries. I just wanted to ask because he can't currently do him, so just if I can, it would be leaving here at like 5:35 5. Just for four.

[Jake Johnson]

I totally understand. Yeah.

[Heather]

Okay, cool.

[Jake Johnson]

Let me see. Yeah, that should be fine. We'll be fine.

[Heather]

Okay, great. Thanks so much. I appreciate it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's lying to you.

[Jake Johnson]

What was that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I lying to you? You. Who is that the wind? Being honest, she made a website last year at Cooking Classic.

[Heather]

So how did that sound, Heather?

[Jake Johnson]

That's good. I mean, I hope she says, yeah, that's fine. I think she will.

[Heather]

So now let's reverse.

[Jake Johnson]

Flexible.

[Heather]

Now let's reverse it and now you're you and gave is your boss.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great. Let me know when you're ready.

[Heather]

Ready. Heather.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, Heather, sound a little more excited about the pride? You're right. Absolutely. 3, 2.

[Jake Johnson]

Please don't make me laugh again. Here we go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

3, 2, 1. Senate Centered Senate action. That contrast.

[Jake Johnson]

Hi. Are you okay?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I just so stressed out with some of the work stuff. Piles and piles and piles. How are you? The kids okay?

[Jake Johnson]

Oh yeah, they're doing great. They're both sleeping.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh good. Great. God, nobody puts them to sleep faster than you, Heather. What's your secret?

[Jake Johnson]

Well, yeah, but not in like a creepy way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry?

[Jake Johnson]

I said not in like a creepy way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of course thou dost protest too much. What do you mean? That's weird.

[Heather]

Let's start over. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Action.

[Gareth Reynolds]

God, what an asshole that guy was.

[Heather]

Let's start with Heather. And action.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, hey Selena.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, Heather. How'd it go up there?

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, can I ask you a favor?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Everyone napping?

[Jake Johnson]

What?

[Heather]

And let's start over.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Heather]

And action. Action. Heather.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, hey, hey. Selena, Can I ask you a favor?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure. What's going on?

[Jake Johnson]

My judicial instructor, you know we always do Sundays. He asked me if just for May if I could switch over to Wednesday nights instead. And I know some of the Wednesdays I work late. I was wondering if I could be off by 5:30 on Wednesday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just for the month.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, just for May. And then he said he can go back to Sundays like normal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That shouldn't be a problem. Let me just make sure that that works for me. But that should be fine. As long as it's okay. Yeah, okay.

[Heather]

That's perfect. That's perfect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

Thanks.

[Heather]

And there's no follow up. That's perfect.

[Jake Johnson]

And I think if she says oh, why? I'll just be like, oh, I don't know. He didn't say May.

[Heather]

Yeah, I don't know. He just asked. But he said. He said but it's only for. He said it's only for May. And then I'm back to Sundays.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. And I don't know the reason. I don't know.

[Heather]

Who knows?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's mysterious.

[Heather]

Yeah. But that's a win.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You got it.

[Jake Johnson]

This is perfect. Thank you guys.

[Heather]

Yeah. Will you follow up with us?

[Jake Johnson]

Absolutely. And how long has this called?

[Gareth Reynolds]

So long. I honestly no clue. For a. It has to be the longest follow.

[Heather]

This is the longest follow for sure. And what we're do to going to need you to do at some point, Heather, you're going to have to. You're going to have to Guest host an episode with us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Honestly, we'll zoom.

[Jake Johnson]

One week when like Gareth is busy or something. And I could guess you just got.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bounce from the project. Heather, have a good one.

[Heather]

I was thinking with Gareth, but I hear you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Peace.

[Heather]

Heather, follow up with us. This is going to be a great one.

[Jake Johnson]

Wait, I have a question for Gareth real quick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nah, goodbye.

[Heather]

Let him let her out.

[Jake Johnson]

I didn't mean to ask you.

[Heather]

Go ahead. Good.

[Jake Johnson]

I've been thinking about it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here we go. This is gonna be. This is a dumb bit, by the way. Nobody smells a dumb bit more than me.

[Heather]

It'll be sweet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it won't be.

[Heather]

Yeah, well, it's gonna be a compliment. Heather, go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, get ready. Gonna tighten my vest for the claws, literally.

[Heather]

Your vest?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Heather]

And the claws to get through your.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesse, get ready to hang up.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. Heather, no, don't hang up on me.

[Heather]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

All right. I just want to know how's your wife? I mean your cat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, I'm so glad we hung in there for that. That has to be that. That is the biggest plot. What? The actual Heather, by the way.

[Heather]

Heather, you're the best.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Heather. Take care. Go think about what you just did.

[Heather]

Heather, don't listen to him. It was perfect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, she doesn't way expect it.

[Heather]

By the way, Heather, I thought he was coming in. Sweet. I thought she was going to go like she was trying. Really love you. You're the best.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, what I thought was it was going to just be. I thought it was going to be crazy, but I. Jesse, hang on.

[Heather]

I didn't see that one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bye, Heather.

[Heather]

You're the best.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Heather]

I love you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love you. Bye. Wait.

[Heather]

Never would I have guessed that ending.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That might be the best follow up.

[Heather]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod gmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] hereto help pod to see our entire catalog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grim Productions Executive producer Rob Hollis.

[Heather]

Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdyke. Animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Jake Johnson]

All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com hereto help pod hey there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're Heredos. That's the new name we have for you. This is Gareth just reminding you if you have not checked out my new podcast Next, we have also a Headgun production. Please do that. It is a show that just has a lot of good quick hitting segments that are fun and funny. The show is just silly, goofy. It's a good time. I think people will like it. That's why it was named Time Magazine's Podcast of the Year. That's a lie. Don't look it up. But you know, listen, we're here to help the best. So if you like this show, I think you might like my new podcast called Next we have. Please give it a listen and if you like it, you know, do all that stuff you got to do with podcasts. Appreciate it.