185: Good Bit Man, Let's Go (with Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein)

Summary

Podcast Summary: "We're Here to Help" – Episode 185: Good Bit Man, Let's Go (with Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein)

Release Date: July 3, 2025

Introduction

In Episode 185 of "We're Here to Help," hosts Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds welcome special guests Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein. The episode kicks off with humorous banter surrounding a mock advertisement for Hyundai, setting a lighthearted tone for the conversation ahead.

Daily Accomplishments and Humorous Banter

The hosts and guests delve into their daily routines, sharing amusing takes on mundane tasks. Gareth Reynolds humorously predicts Steve Berg's accomplishments as minimal, remarking, “I'm gonna predict Steve's accomplishment list involves making food, having coffee and doing one tiny like little R D or around the house thing” (00:59). Steve chimes in with his own comedic take, highlighting a successful bathroom project, which leads to a playful exchange about household chaos and bachelor-style living.

Adventures at Trader Joe's and Air Conditioning Woes

Eric Edelstein shares his early morning rush to Trader Joe's to stave off his hungry cat, humorously admitting, “I ate all. I ate everything” (01:55). This segues into a discussion about his recurring issues with his air conditioning service, highlighting the challenges of maintaining household appliances and the humorous miscommunications with service providers.

Planning and Anticipation of Vandy Camp

The conversation shifts to the main topic of the episode: Jake Johnson’s anticipated trip to Vandy Camp, a day camp event hosted by the legendary Dick Van Dyke. The hosts express their mixed emotions about attending, especially after previous disappointments where Dick failed to show up. Jake recounts his excitement and subsequent frustration when Dick Van Dyke did not attend the event despite his high hopes: “But just because it is such a show I'm like is it this bad? I bet I don't know but normally when I go to see some ironically it never, never works” (49:04).

Prank Stories and Host Dynamics

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to sharing prank stories, particularly one where Steve Berg was led to believe he was in a real street fight. Steve narrates the intense yet humorous situation, stating, “It was a magical... mythical creature of defense came out” (29:55). The playful dynamic between the hosts is evident as they poke fun at each other’s antics and past pranks, reinforcing their long-standing friendship and camaraderie.

Sponsor Messages: Hero Bread and Kachava

Midway through the episode, the hosts seamlessly integrate sponsor messages. Steve Berg enthusiastically promotes Hero Bread, highlighting its health benefits: “Each serving contains 0 grams of net carbs, 0 sugar, 11 grams of protein and 22 grams of fiber” (31:22). Gareth Reynolds echoes the sentiment, sharing his personal preferences and usage of Hero Bread products. The conversation then transitions to Kachava, with both Steve and Gareth praising its plant-based protein offerings and nutritional value, encouraging listeners to use their exclusive discount codes.

Concert and Event Stories

The guests share their experiences attending various concerts and events, including Jake’s adventures with legendary artists like Charlie Pride and humorous encounters at events featuring Dick Van Dyke. Eric Edelstein recounts his support for cold classic acts, amusingly noting, “He was dancing with pap” (50:28), while Jake details the chaotic and often underwhelming nature of these performances, emphasizing the unpredictability and occasional disappointment that comes with such events.

Closing Remarks and Future Plans

As the episode winds down, the hosts encourage listeners to engage with their show by emailing questions to [e-mail]. They also promote their other projects, including Gareth Reynolds' new podcast "Next We Have." The episode concludes with playful remarks and a heartfelt appreciation for their listeners, leaving the audience eagerly anticipating future episodes.

Notable Quotes

• Gareth Reynolds: “I'm going to predict Steve's accomplishment list involves making food, having coffee and doing one tiny like little R D or around the house thing.” (00:59)

• Eric Edelstein: “I ate all. I ate everything.” (01:55)

• Jake Johnson: “Normally when I go to see some ironically it never, never works.” (49:04)

• Steve Berg: “Each serving contains 0 grams of net carbs, 0 sugar, 11 grams of protein and 22 grams of fiber.” (31:22)

• Eric Edelstein: “I'll test your product, give a full honest review. I'll put it in use.” (16:57)

Conclusion

Episode 185 of "We're Here to Help" delivers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and engaging conversations between Jake Johnson, Gareth Reynolds, and their guests Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein. From everyday struggles and humorous pranks to disappointing event experiences and promotional segments, the episode offers listeners an entertaining and relatable glimpse into the hosts' lives. Whether you're a long-time fan or a newcomer, this episode provides ample laughs and insights, embodying the friendly and supportive spirit of the show.

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

This is a headgun podcast.

[Steve Berg]

In the time it takes you to actually board that flight from Group 8, now boarding Premier Altitude Elite club members. You could have bought a Hyundai on Amazon. Yes, that Amazon, where you buy everything else. Mid tier Altitude Elite.

[Jake Johnson]

Feel free to board now.

[Steve Berg]

So while you're waiting for them to make up new boarding groups, you can order your dream car and the dealer will have it ready in no time. Now boarding, groups one through seven.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So close.

[Steve Berg]

Visit Hyundai USA.com or call 562-314-4603 for more details. Limited availability pickup through participating Hyundai dealer and select markets. Hey, Steve Berg is here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna predict Steve's accomplishment list involves making food, having coffee and doing one tiny like little R D or around the house thing. Jake. Because he said he's done a lot today.

[Steve Berg]

Bathroom. Yeah, a successful bathroom.

[Eric Edelstein]

Pretty successful.

[Steve Berg]

I would have liked. I would have liked better, but I was a little anxious about starting the Zoom.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, well, you know, I get stage. I have stage fright. Which is definitely true. No, but I woke up to my cat sitting on my chest, meowing my face and I had nothing to eat. So I went to Trader Joe's right when it opened. First one in there, by the way.

[Steve Berg]

You were the first. You went to a Trader Joe's this early in the morning?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, I went right at 8 when it opened.

[Steve Berg]

Now what for?

[Eric Edelstein]

I had nothing to eat. My house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, doesn't sound like hungry.

[Eric Edelstein]

No, it does. Oh, I ate all. I ate everything.

[Steve Berg]

I've never heard of somebody eating their house out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know his wife's gone, right?

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, I didn't know that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

His wife's gone.

[Eric Edelstein]

Chaos. It's bachelor boy style, you know, so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It'S just Carl's junior Rappers and like post its.

[Steve Berg]

Hold on, Steve. At our age, we can't be bachelor boy style.

[Eric Edelstein]

It is what man in the house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But also what that big bodies walking.

[Steve Berg]

Around the house is not a bunch of bachelor boys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But what that means to Steve is like, I ate all the pasta.

[Steve Berg]

You know how much rice pasta I had? There's none.

[Eric Edelstein]

There's none. And that's actually what I'm having for dinner tonight. I'm very excited. But I also had a. My air conditioning service this morning.

[Steve Berg]

Okay, what's going on with that AC unit?

[Eric Edelstein]

Babe, it's fine. But I, I turned to the guy was like, yeah, actually I was out here four months ago. You don't. He's like. He's like, you still want me to do it? And I was like, does it need it? He's like, not really. I'm like, okay, cool. That was a waste.

[Steve Berg]

So you rebooked him and didn't remember?

[Eric Edelstein]

I thought it had been a couple years and it turns out I had done it in like November. And he was like, yeah, buddy, maybe wait like 18 months at least.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake, can we get into the accomplishment prediction that really nothing has happened?

[Steve Berg]

Well. But I will say busy.

[Eric Edelstein]

But I've been a busy, busy bee. Busy, busy bee.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And he's all hopped up on caffeine.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. When will I ever have time for me, right? That's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We haven't even explained what this episode is. And Steve's talking about how he's a busy, busy bee because Steve showed up 10 minutes early to his full time having.

[Steve Berg]

15 minutes early.

[Gareth Reynolds]

15 minutes early, yeah.

[Steve Berg]

The idea was, Stephen, Gareth and I were gonna take a little bit of time for us.

[Eric Edelstein]

I thought. I just. I always thought I would sit in the lobby and then, you know, just kind of like, you know, read a periodical or something. So I did.

[Steve Berg]

Lobby, Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

I got a brand new People magazine I can read.

[Steve Berg]

Once you see Steve, you can't. You just gotta. You get too excited. Hold on, Steve.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tight. Just hold on tight.

[Steve Berg]

You just hold on tight. Well, first of all. So this episode is. We're releasing it today?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, are we? We're kind of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're sort of hot off the presses.

[Steve Berg]

So we get going, we can talk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

About the Diddy news and be very topical.

[Steve Berg]

That's exactly right.

[Eric Edelstein]

Did that should happen?

[Steve Berg]

Guilty on two charges, not guilty on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A bunch of others.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, man.

[Eric Edelstein]

He's gonna want. He's just not gonna do any time, is he?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's doing a little time. I interrupted the intro, Jake.

[Steve Berg]

No, I mean, so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we're just gonna have a little around.

[Steve Berg]

So here's what. And it was wobby wobs and not attacks idea. We were all texting and we were gonna do another re release of just other episodes, which are fun, but you know, they're not the greatest because people have already heard them. And they're fun for us because we get to re listen to them and then we do a new intro. And then they said, why don't you and Gareth just get on? And just about the fourth.

[Jake Johnson]

And I've been wanting to do a.

[Steve Berg]

Little zoom with Gareth and so hold on. Watch this.

[Eric Edelstein]

Three, two.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Eric Edelstein]

Are you allergic right now, Jake?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm so good at that.

[Steve Berg]

Thanks, man. It's time. It's. Yeah. The allergies have been killing me.

[Eric Edelstein]

Me too.

[Steve Berg]

Thanks, man. And so then we said Imagine being.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Steve's AC guy who's like, buddy, how high are you?

[Steve Berg]

I know it.

[Eric Edelstein]

Not even.

[Steve Berg]

But by the way. No, that you called him back at a short period of time and he was a gentleman to charge you.

[Eric Edelstein]

He didn't charge me. He's like, yeah, man, you know, Jesus. Still have to have us out. Change the filter every 18 months.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

And then you. Well, here's what he also could have done to you, Steve. Yeah. You need a whole new AC and everything. And then, like the character from Memento who doesn't write it on his arm, he could come back a week later and do it again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He really could.

[Steve Berg]

He could be ac.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Momento.

[Steve Berg]

We are so rich off this guy.

[Eric Edelstein]

I wasn't stoned this morning when he came over, but was I stoned when I made the appointment? Likely. I'm like, you know what I'll do? I'll get on top of the air conditioning maintenance, which is. I mean, as we all know, those units are expensive fellas.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Yeah, hold on, hold on.

[Eric Edelstein]

You want to get the most out of them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hold on, Steve.

[Steve Berg]

I. I agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

G. So today we're just going to have a little 4th of July f out. We invited a friends, one who's going to aim to be here when we asked him, and one who's already here, talking about how ACs work or don't work. And it's coming from a guy who, again, booked an appointment two times in a few months, one of them which was totally irrelevant, and now he's nodding and looking at us. And he really boasted today about how he showed up to Trader Joe's before anyone else, like a flex. It's not a flex. And then he called it bachelor boy style. Well, he's just sitting in a house with towels on the ground.

[Steve Berg]

By the way, Gareth, you're not wrong. Everything you're kind of pointing out is accurate. This has been a crazy, crazy, crazy. Steve, what are the. Now I'm turning because I was just. I'm waking up. And so I was in seeing Stevie sweet face mode. But I think Gareth has been up for a little bit more. He said things clearly. What were the accomplishments?

[Eric Edelstein]

I mean, I think I've been laying it out. I'm all business today, folks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I don't answer to his question.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, okay, well, let me finish. You cut me off, we'll start. It's about give and take. I wake up, I feed the cats, we play a little stick, and as soon as I'm like, well, Trader Joe's, I got about 12 minute drive. Get there right at 8pm and by the time I get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

8Pm Huh?

[Eric Edelstein]

8Am you got me, dude. Nailed me. Oh, man. Today. But by the time we get back, that guy is pulling up. I timed it all perfectly. Turns out.

[Steve Berg]

Hold on, hold on.

[Eric Edelstein]

No, but if I did.

[Steve Berg]

I know if you did, it would have been perfect, but hold on. What did you get at Trader Joe's?

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, okay. Well, I've been doing these pastas. I call them a garden pasta. We kind of make it fun. And so I get some ground chicken. Jake. And then I. But I also get. I get like four. Four peppers. I get two green, two red, a big onion, and some mushrooms. And I cook those vegetables down. It's almost like a. It's almost like a ratatouille in a way. And then I add the traditional marinara sauce on that. And I will be doing brown rice noodles because, look, you can't do flour noodles during the week. That's.

[Steve Berg]

Okay. So hold on. Gareth, how are. And I know I've said this to both you guys in person, and I did not ask to set up my own slam dunk, but Gareth and I did something. Cooking with Bert Kreischer or something burning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Something's burning.

[Steve Berg]

Bert, friend of the show. Really good to us. Brought us to his place, has a whole setup, a whole fake podcast house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

As a house.

[Eric Edelstein]

Fake podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And there's a business house.

[Steve Berg]

This dude is just in a. In the party state. He's ripping joints, cooking food. We're all telling stories.

[Eric Edelstein]

I love it.

[Steve Berg]

And got a really nice business out of it. How is there not a version of Cooking with Steve? Everything. You're just talking about that meal. Just a. The way Jennifer Garner has a couple cameras on her as she's making little pastries.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, I want to know.

[Steve Berg]

A garden potato. I want to hear.

[Eric Edelstein]

Sounds great.

[Steve Berg]

Peppers. And then you go in as like, you know, with a little apron on, going to the camera, being like, hey, everybody, do you guys want to learn how I make this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I completely agree.

[Steve Berg]

It's like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I completely agree. You need a GoPro and a steak.

[Steve Berg]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you could just put it wherever you're going. In your garden for picking. In your kitchen for starting. Because even what you're saying now is there's no. And I mean this in the nicest way. There's no substance to it. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. Gary, you are. I could keep listening. I.

[Eric Edelstein]

Someone woke up on the wrong side of the web.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can keep listening to it.

[Eric Edelstein]

I think we have a crabby Appleton in our mix.

[Steve Berg]

I hate to say it, though. I love mean Gareth. Yeah, well, he's so funny. And when he's mean, he kills.

[Eric Edelstein]

He's a.

[Steve Berg]

Well, people is scary.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That last. That last episode, people were like, jeez. I mean, we. Heather and I were real. I forgot how intense. Exchange guy.

[Steve Berg]

Heather's so funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She really.

[Steve Berg]

We had a caller come. Come on, and she had been on a few times, and she just was doing. What's been really fun about the show is now the callers really know the show. So not all of them, but a lot of them really know all the bits. And she just decided everything Jake said was great. So I would say something really stupid, and she'd be like that, can I please hear Jake finish? And every time Gareth thought she would.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, shut up, G. He just was.

[Steve Berg]

But having a caller do that bit and Gareth and I happened to be in person for it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just gave.

[Steve Berg]

Just. It was too much. I gave up, like, comedically. It was a 10 out of 10.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. Great experience for Jake. I was like, shut up, Heather. I was eventually like, heather, shut up.

[Steve Berg]

He was. Guy pushed you. But it was so funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But.

[Steve Berg]

But no substance. You were saying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree with your original premise. I think that we. It really is an injustice that there is not a Cooking with Steve show.

[Steve Berg]

And that there's not guests can come on. We different people. Like, I would love to sit and have like, a. You explain what. Because, you know, it's probably just copying too much birds, so you'd have to do your own version. Because what I really like that he did, and I hadn't seen his show before I did it, but he asks, what do you want? And then he makes it. And the dude's a good chef.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's good.

[Eric Edelstein]

He good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He chaos, but he's good.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

Then there's a version of what Jennifer Garner does, which I find to be. There's a bunch of these Instagram actors who do it now, which, I mean, I think the woman from Sopranos does it too, where all of a sudden they just film their really expensive kitchens, and for some reason, they make videos of them, like, cooking pastries.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, yeah.

[Steve Berg]

And I'm like, I don't think you're a chef. I don't know what's happening here, but you'll look and it'll be like a billion views and everyone going like, oh, yay, yummy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wowzers. What's also great about it?

[Steve Berg]

And I'm like, what galaxy am I in? This is just an actor making brownies. And if someone's gonna do it, I would like it to be Steven.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. Well, look, I. You know, I. Guys, thanks for the vote of confidence. Really building me up. This is great. Especially after Garrett has tore me down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, you did nothing.

[Eric Edelstein]

What have you done today?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nothing. But I didn't start off with, whoa, I'm crushing today.

[Eric Edelstein]

I've been to Trader Joe's, got groceries for the week. I called the air conditioning guy, had a nice conversation with him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You didn't need him.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, I found out today I'm probably going to be buying the extended, like the. The annual checkout plan, so.

[Steve Berg]

He did take you. That's what he sold you.

[Jake Johnson]

He did take you.

[Eric Edelstein]

He got me. I didn't sign up where I had the pamphlet it. I'll be showing the better half, and she'll make that decision.

[Steve Berg]

By the way, go into that, Steve and I've given this thought. The prank we did on you in the end, you had so much confidence that you had Murder She Wrote at the ended. And then I re. Listened to the episode. You didn't figure it out. Susie did.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Completely.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, but I. I gave her credit for it.

[Steve Berg]

I know you did, but she's like.

[Eric Edelstein]

Are you sure this wasn't Jake and Garrett?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, that's Susie doing it.

[Eric Edelstein]

I'm doing this to you. And then you were like, wait. And it was like a flashback of all the times you guys have pranked me. I wish. It was a great, like, little monster.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Steve, your big clue, it was all.

[Eric Edelstein]

Black and white, you know, and you were speaking slowly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your big clue in the episode of Murder, She Wrote was that your wife told you what was happening.

[Eric Edelstein]

But I was smart enough to deduce.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then you went into your mind palace.

[Steve Berg]

I was smart enough to deduce. By the way, a Steve Berg version of Murder, She Wrote is always confused. And then his wife, who only appears in one scene in each episode, just goes like this, like, oh, stop it. The mailman did it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, do you remember one night, Jake, what I was saying was, it's like Inspector Gadget. One night, we were all in your yard, Jake, and we started talking about it, and we called it Murder, He Wrote. And we laughed. Right. For so long.

[Eric Edelstein]

No, Clay Allen, actually. And I. I mean, developed. We had lunch, we talked about it, but I was going to play Jessica Fletcher's grandson.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. So funny.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Murder hero would be amazing. And the idea of sue, because. Because to what Jake's saying, it is true. It was like. I think we were so gutted with you knowing what was going on, that it really clouded the reality, which was that you.

[Eric Edelstein]

You.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We had you.

[Eric Edelstein]

You had me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We just gotta get to Susie and let her know next time.

[Steve Berg]

Gareth. I was so. Because what I really in my heart of hearts wanted Steve and so did Gareth. We talked about it. There was a world. We were going to do this for like five years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

And Steve keep sending whatever. Because a lot of calls to the complaints of some of our listeners. We repeat pitches. Well, I'll tell you why we're not. We're not the sharpest tools in the shed. And you just. After a while, some of these calls, like booking and air conditioning guy who's just been there, they seem familiar.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

And some of them are.

[Eric Edelstein]

There's only so many tricks in the bag, you know.

[Steve Berg]

Some of them are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's true.

[Steve Berg]

You got a weird box in your attic. Weird box in your basement. It was like, send it to Steve the best. Because every time Steve reacts to it, it'll be like new. He'll go like, this is crazy. What happened? Chocolates from South Africa. What happened? I was very scared, but I did eat it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My wife said to not have them. And then I got really high one night and I tried to. It was game over.

[Eric Edelstein]

I will say if I'm good at forgetting, as we all know, and if people want to send me products, I'd be happy to go through and review them.

[Steve Berg]

O. Well, hold on. We can't give your address out willy nilly.

[Eric Edelstein]

No, I'll give. I'll give you a P.O. box that I'm supposed to create. It's on my list of things to do.

[Steve Berg]

So what. What is the thing you're pitching that you would test products?

[Eric Edelstein]

I'll test your. Yeah, I'll test your product, give a full honest review. I'll put it in use.

[Steve Berg]

I like.

[Eric Edelstein]

You know, if it's a jump rope, I'll go out to a church parking lot and jump rope and say like, I don't know. This one doesn't really have a lot of flex.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. I.

[Eric Edelstein]

How does. How does that grab you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Grabs hard.

[Steve Berg]

Grabs hard.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I also. I gotta get eyes on. I gotta get eyes on this to do list.

[Eric Edelstein]

It's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The P.O. box is on his to do list. Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

What is it? Hold on. Gareth. You nailed it, Steve, off the top of your head. What's on that to do list?

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, boy.

[Steve Berg]

Looking back, I did.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. I don't know why I'm looking over there. I was looking in the hallway for help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your wife's not here to solve this in your head.

[Steve Berg]

For real. What's on the to do list?

[Eric Edelstein]

I. Well, I. Here's one I did accomplish recently. It's not on the list. I was sent a thousand dollars worth of steaks. And so I had been mean to get a deep freeze for about two and a half years, but once I got those steaks, I'm like, I can't fit all those in my just regular refrigerator.

[Steve Berg]

Why'd you sell them steaks?

[Eric Edelstein]

A thousand dollars? I. I do mc work for Omaha Steaks and they've sent me a little gift.

[Steve Berg]

Incredible.

[Eric Edelstein]

And no one I. My, no one in my family eats beefs. My wife doesn't eat beefs. And now I'm basically just going to clog my arteries with like T bone steaks. So what's your brag here in six months?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You got a freezer.

[Eric Edelstein]

I got a freezer. That was a big, you know, I have a to do list, like a weekly. And then I have like the to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do list, which, well, we're kind of looking for either right now. It's the only thing you did was look behind you and told us about something you did do.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, no, I did the deep freeze. That was big. What's on the accomplishment?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's on the weekly and what's on the overall?

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, the weekly one was Go to Trader Joe's. Nailed that.

[Steve Berg]

That's a weekly one.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, that was on. I put that on my ical last night. I. If I don't have it on my ical, it will not happen. I'll just forget about it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's trying to bit his way out of this. He's in a half nelson. He's trying to bid his way out.

[Eric Edelstein]

I mean, it's tight. No, I, I really haven't made. I mean, it's a holiday week, so, you know, I'm kind of. I'm going easy on myself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. All right. So we're not going to get any answers on the actual to do list or any of that stuff?

[Eric Edelstein]

No. No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Steve Berg]

Gareth, what's going on with you, pal?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm a little concerned about Steve and his to do list and all that stuff, but he's.

[Eric Edelstein]

He's kind of a crappy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We should point out we invited a second force of nature.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Look at that shirt.

[Steve Berg]

You're on mute.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hold on.

[Steve Berg]

Eric just showed up in a tie dye shirt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you for joining us. I like how he's got to sit like a mermaid now.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Jake, what did you just eat?

[Steve Berg]

Jake, I'm. I'll eat anything, man.

[Eric Edelstein]

You just ate something.

[Steve Berg]

I took a bite of ice in the coffee. Because I'm trying to. Yeah, I'm trying to do keto these days. Eric knows. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why.

[Eric Edelstein]

Here we go.

[Steve Berg]

I did a body scan where you can go in the back of a van, somebody touches your body in a parking lot.

[Eric Edelstein]

Wait, no, this is not true.

[Jake Johnson]

It's true stuff in Catholic school, man.

[Steve Berg]

This won't end well. I didn't go to Catholic, so I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Went to public school.

[Steve Berg]

So I went to a body scan where I go like. Well, you know, so it. I went to the place, and it was in a strip mall on the east side of la. And I get there and I go to the little, like, you know, what looks just like a physical therapy training place. And I walk in to check in and they go, oh, the scans aren't here. They just use our location. They're in a van in the parking lot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good feeling.

[Eric Edelstein]

Ask for a guy named Spider, you know, come.

[Steve Berg]

Well, and then I go, well, there's no van in the parking lot. And they go, well, he must be late. Just hang out. You'll see the van.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good vibes all around, for sure.

[Steve Berg]

Ten minutes later, a van pulls up. I go inside it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How did this start, Jake? Why did this start? This just.

[Steve Berg]

You know. Gareth, I'm gonna tell you. So, my journey into the martial arts.

[Jake Johnson]

Here we go.

[Steve Berg]

Sorry. Sorry, King. I know you love karate, man, but I was out there rolling on the mats, Jack.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So wait, so you here, you have the. The dalliance with Jiu Jitsu.

[Steve Berg]

So here's what's been going on. And this is where I'm gonna do my morning to do flex. And you're gonna be able to kill me, Gareth. I've been working on lifting heavy. King knows this. I texted him, but I deadlifted. £325 the other day.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's real.

[Jake Johnson]

This is confirmed. This is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's real weight confirmed by text message.

[Jake Johnson]

Eric, we have a psychedelic trainer that is changing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right?

[Steve Berg]

I remember as we speak, Rudy Garcia.

[Jake Johnson]

Everything is new with G Fit.

[Steve Berg]

G Fit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

G Fit.

[Steve Berg]

And so he pushed me. I didn't want to do it. And he said, you're being a bit of a baby. And the weights, when I started lifting, I went like, I don't got it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't got it.

[Steve Berg]

And he goes, help. Help for your guy at your girth. You should get it. That was the tone. That was the tone. You're a big boy, just like Lift the weights, you human, baby. And so then I was going like, well, I kind of want to know where I'm at, and I need to know numbers because I'm like, you work out, and you start getting in this zone where you're like, what am I doing? If you're not going to get in a street fight, which Gareth, you know, you know me, I would love to just test my. You know. You work out. You did. Go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it'd be great for you to get in a street fight to bring you back down to earth for a minute.

[Jake Johnson]

I've seen him in a street fight. I saw it. He's 1 0. For those that don't know, they tried to jack this man's cell phone on this avenue. And this man went ahead and said, you know what?

[Steve Berg]

No, well, hold on, hold on, hold on, Eric.

[Eric Edelstein]

Because you came and saved his bacon.

[Jake Johnson]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Steve Berg]

Eric, will you tell the story of what happened?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was getting beat up.

[Steve Berg]

We were moving three gentlemen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They were beating him up.

[Eric Edelstein]

Gentlemen.

[Jake Johnson]

Absolutely. And it was one of the first times I'm like, jake's just given a little bit more. And only other. It was a weird thing I'd only ever seen in my Gonzaga friends went on to professional athletics. And I, we were moving from 1545 North Las Palmas. Still there, Jake. We got to check it out because that's. That thing's getting knocked down soon and it's trash. We're moving on up to 1850 North Whitley. And I'm gonna live with an accordion door.

[Steve Berg]

Eric, who lived in that building.

[Jake Johnson]

Also, when the new building Bag, Brian Austin Green. We were real nasty and jealous of Bag.

[Steve Berg]

What? Not we. You.

[Jake Johnson]

I was real nasty and jealous of Bags.

[Steve Berg]

And what did you do one day.

[Jake Johnson]

Chuck the thing in sour cream down in the pool at him? You, Sarah Cream.

[Eric Edelstein]

Pool day.

[Steve Berg]

Brian has a Green swimming in the the pool with a couple friends, Eric and I on the porch. And he's just. He's just going off on Bag. I didn't have a lot of thoughts on Bag, I'll be honest. But Eric was hot and it was funny. 10 Eric goes It out. And by the way, back was with some friends who would have beaten us up.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, easy.

[Steve Berg]

Me and Eric.

[Eric Edelstein]

You guys up.

[Steve Berg]

We're not winning against Bag and the boys.

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Steve Berg]

Eric whips a thing of sour cream at him. You know, it doesn't hit him, but it splashes nearby. Like the whole. Siegel took a Nero.

[Eric Edelstein]

They probably took some sour cream Shrapnel.

[Jake Johnson]

Probably. He did. He Did I bought my own sour cream for Baja Fresh. Beat the system.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, wait. So then you see. Explain how Jake kicked ass. And then we'll get to when he was in the back of the van.

[Jake Johnson]

I was actually moving. And we were moving all my stuff in my Sebring convertible at the top down, because the convertible can actually function.

[Steve Berg]

As a Tell the quick story of the really sweet couple from the Midwest who looked at your apartment. Do you mind?

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, yeah. Well, I just wasn't living well back then. I was, I, I was a work in progress. And as I was moving out, there was a couple looking around like, huh, maybe we could make the transition to, like, a bachelor apartment in Hollywood. And then I was like, oh, I'm moving out. If you want to check the place. This place was in such a disgusting state of disrepair. They'd walk in and collect themselves and walked out with a look of horror. But she didn't her Just a look of pure human sympathy that someone had been living like that. Some someone was ready to show like an animal.

[Steve Berg]

Eric volunteered it. Really sweet couple from, like, Minnesota. He's like, I'm moving out. If you want to check it out now. And they're like, you don't mind, go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, it's ready to show.

[Steve Berg]

Hallway where the bathroom was. I remember I used it once was like a scary dungeon with no light. Like, they literally felt like they walked into, like, a serial killer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, probably left L. A.

[Steve Berg]

Do you remember? Did anyone see the movie Barbarian? The horror?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God.

[Jake Johnson]

Great.

[Steve Berg]

I just watched it. You know, when they go down and they enter that, like, basement, they keep walking. That was Eric's place. He showed that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He even has the old woman back there.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, yeah. My kitchen was an electric wok on top of the toilet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Alternate between an electric walk and a Foreman grill working at Willy Market. Pizza bell on the back of a pizza joint on Whitley and Franklin. And I just, you know, I, I, I was into some pills. I wasn't living right. I wasn't, I wasn't the best version of myself that you guys see now. And I know you all kind of look, kind of looked at me as a spiritual.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We look up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I being on pills and having an electric walk on your toilet. So specific. It belongs to the script.

[Jake Johnson]

You just sit there and wonder where it all went, Right? So then, so we're moving, and so we're moving my stuff just, like, four blocks up. And we are very excited because even though I'm only living in a den with an accordion door. We now have access to a pool. We know this is a step up. And we also knew that Chris Farley's brothers used to live in this high rise apartment. And so he would party there. So that's even more exciting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

So as we're moving, I come out with like the last two things. I have a hammer and I have a giant cigar store indigenous head. I don't know how to put that diplomatically, friends. That wasn't your best moment in the morning. That's the best we're getting. Yeah. And a giant cigar store indigenous head. Sure. And then I come out and I look at. There are three guys attacking Jake at once. And he is fighting them off. One of them is hitting them. One of them is grabbing his cell phone. And Jake, if I recall correctly, saying, I'm not giving you my man. I'm not giving you my man.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

The other guy's also on top.

[Steve Berg]

King throwing blows.

[Jake Johnson]

It was shocking to come out to so much. So I thought he. It was improv, folks. I thought he put me up to it. I didn't believe this is really it. I'm like, oh, these guys are doing a herald. And I come here and with my body. So then. But then I. It's also sort of undeniable what's happening. So I just, you know, while holding the head and the hammer, just go, hey. And then they swirl and look and they're just kind of. Because I'm standing on these stairs with the sun behind me and I'm already tall as hell anyway. So I looked about 20ft tall.

[Steve Berg]

By the way, that is not a joke, because I saw it too. I was in the middle of a scrap for my life. And I was right at the point where the tipping point was happening. And Jakester was about to go down. And I hear it was Paul Bunyan. And what it looked like. It was like that because the indigenous head, it was a. A huge head. It looked like he was holding the head of something. And then the way the hammer was looked like a huge weapon. It looked like a mythical creature of defense came out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was.

[Steve Berg]

And these three dudes scattered. And then Eric walks over and my head was banging. It was like I got a couple blows to the temple and the adrenaline was going down and I go like, oh, thanks, man. And he goes, good bit, J, man, let's go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, you still thought it was a bit?

[Steve Berg]

He thought it was a bit. Through the drive to his place.

[Jake Johnson]

In.

[Steve Berg]

The middle of it, he's like, wait, are you okay? I'M like, no, my man. I was punched in the face a bunch. This old geek might be concussed. This episode is brought to you by Hero Bread. Hero bread is easy for me to talk about because I eat it all the time. I love it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's hard to eat healthy. Even if you try to cut hot dog buns or bread or bagels or tortillas, any of those things, it's hard. What are you gonna do, wrap everything in lettuce? Come on, people are talking. People are looking at you. They're going, what's with lettuce, Andy? So that's why herobred is great. They make all the things I just mentioned. Burger and hot dog buns, bread, bagels, tortillas. All those things that keep you at your health goals. Why? Because Each serving contains 0 grams of net carbs, 0 sugar, 11 grams of protein and 22 grams of fiber.

[Steve Berg]

You never know. It's low net carb and high fiber bread. From the texture, it actually tastes like old school wonder bread. But I say that as a compliment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Personally, I'm partial to in the summer, the hot dog buns, vegan hot dogs, and the tortillas. It's as good as it gets. 11 grams of protein, 0 grams of sugar. You would never know that it's a low net carb, high fiber bread product from its texture. We love it. We eat it. We're here to help. How about we're hero to help? That's right. I did it. So right now, Herobred is offering 10% off of your order. Go to hero co and use code help at checkout. That's help@h e r o dot co. Come on. And we are brought to you by kachava.

[Steve Berg]

So I am a fan of kachava. I drink it a lot. It's got 25 grams of 100% plant based protein. It's got chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, coconut, acai. I like the chocolate. I also like the vanilla. Those are my two things. I am drinking it on a daily basis. You don't have to be a vegan to love it. But I don't mess with dairy, so that's why I like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Honestly, I am in love with cachava. I started to take cachava on the road with me. It is a protein powder. It makes feel energized, focused, calm, satiated for hours. I try to do healthy protein powders. I have for a long time. I just was over the moon when I tried cachava because I was like, oh my lord, this is delicious and it's good for you. It's filled with all the ingredients that you would want in a protein. Goji berries, chia seeds. These are things you keep hearing about. And you're like, how do I incorporate these? You don't need to worry about it anymore because kachava is doing it for you. It's vegan. It's a plant protein. There's 26 vitamins and minerals, 6 grams of fiber, 85 plus superfoods, maybe 86. I don't know, they won't tell me. But it's 85 plus nutrients, plant based ingredients. I just mix it with a little bit of peanut butter and some veggies in a smoothie and it elevates it. I used to add fruit to my smoothies. I don't do that anymore because kachava is that good. So fuel your daily adventures with Kachava. Go to kachava.com and use code here to help for 15% off your next order. That's Kachava K A C-H-A V A.com code here to help for 15% OFF. In your assessment, Eric, you think that Jake is a fighter. You believe in the jiu jitsu form?

[Jake Johnson]

Absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think he's on the right path.

[Jake Johnson]

I believe in Rudy Garcia, who, who is. You know, when the teacher's ready, when students ready, the teacher appears. And that's Rudy for us. But Jake just has that little bit extra. I think if Jake focused himself on professional athletics, he could have made it. He could have played in the NBA. He's more athletic than my friend Dan Dickow.

[Eric Edelstein]

The NBA?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. I think he could have.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What Water guy.

[Eric Edelstein]

I could see. I could see with a lot of training, a lot of focus.

[Steve Berg]

Single a baseball. Single a baseball.

[Eric Edelstein]

Baseball is real. You have a good arm. You throw the baseball well.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. Single a baseball and you could drink on that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a. That's an athletics event where you can drink.

[Eric Edelstein]

Exactly.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, Jake had been born into my friend Dan's family would have made the NBA. My buddy, my buddy's dad, Randy held it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Eric, once we start toying with the genetic makeup of a person, I think we're sort of saying.

[Jake Johnson]

Jake as is. He's. As you all know, he's very athletic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He is.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm just saying he's more athletic than my friend.

[Steve Berg]

Hating this. This goes back to fris ball in the park where we would play two on two.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I will say, Gary, you had prowess.

[Jake Johnson]

Yep.

[Eric Edelstein]

You both good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You did have prowess.

[Steve Berg]

I gotta say. Well, Eric, you were missed on those days. But it was the three of us and Clay Allen. And Clay Allen's sneaky, athletic, he was good.

[Eric Edelstein]

He's a slider, he's a glider, fast, he moves.

[Steve Berg]

And I gotta say, Steve, you know, and I've complimented you, Gareth, on your athleticism. 1987 Oldsmobile, where Gareth's athleticism is the athleticism. And I just sounds like a dig, but it is not, because you guys know how I feel about cars. He's an 87 Oldsmobile with 200, 000 miles on it, but it never breaks down. And you want to go 90, hit the gas, it'll get you there. You want to zip around a course, it's gonna do it.

[Eric Edelstein]

Gareth had like Tom bad knees from major league back in, like when he was 22, but you like new braces when you were like a kid complimen.

[Steve Berg]

Still hitting 280.

[Eric Edelstein]

I know. Still good.

[Jake Johnson]

Laying down that bunt to win it all.

[Steve Berg]

It looks like it hurts.

[Eric Edelstein]

It looks like it hurts, though.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, this all leads us to Jake Johnson deadlifting a great amount of weight. And now you go into a.

[Steve Berg]

So here's what it is. I. I know that these days I'm stronger than I've ever been and I'm feeling good about it. And then I was like, But I don't know, a gauge. What's the gauge of this stuff? I was like, I don't give a. How I look in some denim pants. I hate seeing you hurting, Eric.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, no, it's so much better. I promise you.

[Steve Berg]

It can't be better. I know you.

[Jake Johnson]

No, no, no, no. Yesterday was. Yesterday was much worse. Oh, no, no, no, boys, I promise you, I'm. I'm up front, but here, by the.

[Steve Berg]

Way, Eric, you're not up front.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, sure I am.

[Eric Edelstein]

Not everybody sitting on the side like you're in excruciating pain.

[Steve Berg]

Also, every time I ever see you, you go better than ever, brother. Eric, will you tell the story really fast of the Dick Van Dyke show you just saw?

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, God. I mean, I'd much rather you. This is like where you look at every. Everything that everybody laughs about you behind your back and goddammit, they're right. So I have a reputation for dragging friends and for me going to see a lot of geriatric rock stars.

[Eric Edelstein]

He's taken me to see Kenny Rogers and Jerry Lewis where he played a fake typewriter. Stephen joking. First off, what we saw Kenny Rogers. I got so drunk I fell down a flight of stairs. It was fine. Remember at the end I felt. I literally fell down the flight of stairs and saved by drink. So much whiskey. That was so loose. I was. Nothing happened.

[Jake Johnson]

Nothing happened. You're also indestructible, Berg.

[Eric Edelstein]

But, like, it was shocking, Bones. But it was.

[Steve Berg]

Steve does it.

[Eric Edelstein]

I would black out drunk.

[Steve Berg]

Steve could get hit by a truck. And once he got up, I wouldn't ask him if he was okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay.

[Steve Berg]

I'd be like. If he went like this. Jesus. That truck was coming at a 35 mph pace.

[Eric Edelstein]

I'd be like this.

[Steve Berg]

You good? You go? Yeah. And go. Okay. So the next thing, we're doing the.

[Jake Johnson]

Damage to the truck.

[Steve Berg]

But as Steve gets hit by the truck, he would go like this. Like, Jesus, hit your truck. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I am so sorry.

[Eric Edelstein]

But Eric also took me to see Jerry Lewis. I mean, this is late stage Jerry Lewis, where he literally. He couldn't. He didn't do anything. He showed those. And then played the Typ writer.

[Steve Berg]

Wait, you got to be kidding me. That's the show mean.

[Eric Edelstein]

I'm not joking. So he has, like, this old typewriter bit from the 50s where, like, someone plays a piano, but he plays the typewriter like he's playing the piano. And he. He was doing Faces. I'll give him that. He was like.

[Steve Berg]

Actually, when I showed Gareth, he said, I'll give him that. Like, it was.

[Eric Edelstein]

It wasn't. It was.

[Steve Berg]

Faces while playing a keyboard is not. I'll give him that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll give him that.

[Steve Berg]

So he was making faces.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to throw you off on Dick Van Dyke, but I was.

[Jake Johnson]

This was. This was much needed. And then my buddies Mark and Scott also give me a ton of. Because I once made them. I. This whole thing. We picked up Mark in Toronto. He was working. We're supposed to go to the outlaw country show. I'm like, hold on. We have a day off and Charlie Pride is doing a show in Western Pennsylvania. So I pick him up and I'm. And I. I want to make sure I get to see Charley Pride early.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who is Charlie Pride?

[Steve Berg]

No idea. Thank you for.

[Eric Edelstein]

He's a country artist.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, God, he's great.

[Eric Edelstein]

He is.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm sorry.

[Jake Johnson]

Trailblazer. Charlie Pride's the Greatest Story. Basically, Gareth, you'll. You'll get into him. He's one of these amazing American stories. Charlie Pride's first country album.

[Steve Berg]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Everybody Wikipedia, if you're interested.

[Eric Edelstein]

Charlie.

[Steve Berg]

Great.

[Jake Johnson]

He is a legend and a hero and Charlie Pride's first ever country tickets.

[Steve Berg]

To his show because of this. He's not listening.

[Jake Johnson]

Charlie Pride. But we lost Charlie two years ago.

[Steve Berg]

How old was Charlie Pride? Was he nearly 100? Okay. Talking about a young guy like a Charlie Crockett. This is another older guy.

[Jake Johnson]

No, he's incredible. Charlie Pride is historic because in the early 60s, his first album came out. Charlie singing the music he loves. It goes to a rocket on the country charts. And the only slight interesting thing is his picture is not on the front of this album because Charlie was black.

[Steve Berg]

Shut up. Shut up with your tone.

[Eric Edelstein]

By the way, I think Eric saw the movie. Wait, hold on. I think Eric saw Cocoon as a little kid. Those are my people.

[Steve Berg]

I know.

[Eric Edelstein]

Agree. I like the old guys.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, don't you dare tell me you weren't influenced by Gene Heat as well, buddy.

[Eric Edelstein]

Fair enough. You got.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what else I love is that this story is headed towards how this show disappointed the people he took there. He's like, you don't know Charlie, Brian.

[Steve Berg]

Also, the rhythm there of his photo wasn't on because he. We all know this story. It's happened a million times.

[Jake Johnson]

I thought, you know Charlie.

[Steve Berg]

I don't know Charlie. I know the story. Why guys have stolen black guy's music forever.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, but he was the first to come on straights in country music. And you couldn't tell. And so it was this whole thing. And he went on to this meteoric career. And I really wanted to see him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When he was 80.

[Jake Johnson]

My mark and Scott were true. Because I'm like, I don't think we can stop in Niagara Falls. Sounds like we've all seen it before. I think we're good. I want to make sure we get to the casino early. And they're like, you're not really. Because I get a lot of. Because these trips demand leadership. And I step up and they're like, are you.

[Steve Berg]

Nobody's demanding leadership.

[Jake Johnson]

The world is. The world leaders, by the way.

[Steve Berg]

Wrong. It's adults just going to see a show. Did not need leadership.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Honestly. That's what a dad does to ruin a vacation.

[Steve Berg]

That's what I do to ruin everything. The reason I call you out here. I'm looking in a mirror, not in a zoom.

[Jake Johnson]

I know. That's why waves of love and empathy.

[Steve Berg]

All right, keep going. So that that group needed leadership and you stepped up, Jack.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. So I didn't stop at Niagara Falls. And then also, I will say this. The show is heroic. But Charlie did have to leave the stage twice to change.

[Eric Edelstein]

Pants.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, yeah, hold on, hold on. I'm going to Gareth for a second.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Eric, I love you and you really should work in some kind of damage control for celebrities because you went and saw an 80 year old his pants tw. And the lead up to that was that you saw something heroic.

[Jake Johnson]

That is heroic, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is.

[Jake Johnson]

Back out twice, Gareth. Because he's got stomach, which I can understand.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He got obligated, he said. I mean, he probably didn't know what the fuck was going on.

[Steve Berg]

Look, my friend, you're to make money. Gareth, these guys are getting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. And you and Berg have the lowest. The fact that Berg was like, he did make faces, I'll give him that. And you saw a guy shit his pants twice. And we're like, I watched a hero, hero today.

[Jake Johnson]

A hero. And there was some silence in the drive after we saw him. And I could tell that they disagreed with my decision not to stop at Niagara Falls for Charlie. But I stood by it and whatever. But especially with those two have a difficult thing and I'm trying to make up for it. So this week I realized I had a chance to really do right by Mark and that is that we were going to Vandy Camp. And yes, that is a day camp circus put on by Dick Van Dyke. And as the pause.

[Steve Berg]

Gareth, your thoughts on this so far.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just I, I two, two fold. One, obviously. Why? No, the second is just a real sense of. I'm almost impressed by Eric's inability to not do things because when I hear these things, I think I could just be at home.

[Eric Edelstein]

Home.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And he wants to go to Dick Van Dyke.

[Steve Berg]

Vandy Camp.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Camp.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

Steve, if you were still living in LA and were invited to Vandy Cap, which I've stopped getting the invites to.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, yeah.

[Steve Berg]

What do you. How you responded? How does the text come in? What happens here?

[Eric Edelstein]

It's like basically Ferris Bueller and Cameron where Eric can work me over. Like I'm. I'm very pliable with him. Well, he'll put it out there. I go, no, man, like at that point, I'm totally good on that. Like, I'm not like a big Van Dyke fan. I'm not a Van Dyke head. And then he'll say something about. But when I thought we'd see this show leave early, of course, then we go to. We go. We go down to Chinatown and get those noodles you like on me, brother. I'm driving. And then I'd be like, I could eat.

[Steve Berg]

That's interesting.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, he's got my number. Oh, he's Got my number. Like, yeah, the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll drive big too.

[Eric Edelstein]

I will say one out of the three things though, is incredible. But you're going to have to sit through some utter garbage like, you know, to get there. Like the Jerry Lewis thing was insane. But the Kenny Rogers. Pretty great.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, it's pretty great.

[Eric Edelstein]

Pretty, pretty great.

[Jake Johnson]

And I'll take one out of three that. That's an MLB hall of Famer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

You'll go to when he hits.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. But you're willing to go to three events knowing two of them are going to be terrible because I don't view it like baseball stick stats.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, baseball stats are really. They're kind of an outlier in sports.

[Steve Berg]

I view it more like going to a concert. I view more like life saving medicine. If I'm going to go on, it's got to be. Yeah. Yes. It can't be. It can't be even 50. 50. It's like, no, this is going to be a good ass show, but you.

[Jake Johnson]

Got to slog through it to get there. And one of my joys in life, you all know live music's my medicine. One of my joys is when I.

[Steve Berg]

Do one of your medicines.

[Jake Johnson]

One of my med.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Back in the day.

[Jake Johnson]

Muscle relaxer. I Cabo this morning.

[Steve Berg]

This guy's got a lot of medicines. That's right.

[Eric Edelstein]

My wife.

[Jake Johnson]

My wife goes him after special.

[Steve Berg]

Back off.

[Jake Johnson]

It's my medicine. No, but like, and I'll go and I'll see the people that are the next big thing. I went to one a couple weeks ago and then I very respectfully was like, he's not my guy.

[Steve Berg]

What was.

[Jake Johnson]

He's not the next big thing. But you slide through. Then I went to see James McMurtry.

[Steve Berg]

Who was that?

[Jake Johnson]

The never ever. Then CG is the troubadour. Blown away.

[Eric Edelstein]

I'm sorry to cut you off, but about three weeks ago he sent me that great text. You know that when he said he it was something important. He'll just go, buddy. Then you'll wait. Then you wait because you know a block of text is coming. He's like very close to you. On July 3rd, Ann Margaret is playing. And I'm like, ann Margaret, Margaret. She's like 90. He's like, she's dancing with pap. Yes, yes. There's no bit. And he almost had me going. I was like, I mean he's right. This is a great, this could be a great opportunity. And I'm like, no. I'm like, I can't go to Emma what am I thinking?

[Steve Berg]

What am I doing? It's a 90 year old woman being tortured by some weirdo in her group.

[Eric Edelstein]

Trying to make money off Eric is all over the every concert in Omaha that is quasi interesting to Eric. Eric's sending me like a flyer for.

[Steve Berg]

You know how often he says to me me dude some minor league team is playing five hours away from Omaha let's go meet Berg And I'm like that's another state brother. We have to fly into a different state drive to another state for Berg to drive to another and he goes but then we get to watch a minor league game for three hours. I'm like I don't want to see the event. Why don't we just meet in like a Denver in the middle.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh God.

[Steve Berg]

All right so Steve, wait really fast so Eric we no tangents to other concerts please. Vandy Camp.

[Jake Johnson]

Vandy Camp. So Mark and I go out there I promised him good times like dude he's 99 years old.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a crazy start to a pitch of good times.

[Jake Johnson]

Our spirits are going to be renewed. I've heard this is amazing. I've seen Instagram videos of Dick Van Dyke singing this is awesome.

[Steve Berg]

Him, how old is he?

[Jake Johnson]

And he's 99 90s.

[Eric Edelstein]

Literally 99 and.

[Steve Berg]

He turns 10099 year old man should not be hosting a camp if you're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tired in hospital me going to an event starts with a 99 year old is the thing we're going to see.

[Steve Berg]

Perform a 99 perform for you. This is what I told, this is what I told Eric the other day. These guys are being tortured.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is hell.

[Steve Berg]

They are, these are people pulling these old guys up to tap dance to milk the out of him and Eric's going like Frank, this is darkness brother.

[Eric Edelstein]

Like Frankie Val just walks out there and he, he mumbles to his own music.

[Steve Berg]

It's craziness.

[Jake Johnson]

He's playing a casino out here in a few months. I am.

[Eric Edelstein]

You're going aren't you?

[Jake Johnson]

But just because it is such a show I'm like is it this bad? I bet I don't know but normally when I go to see some ironically it never, never works. It's never good. I kind of have the pure intention which I had for Vandy Camp and we got out there and it seemed magical. There's like this outdoor circus I'm seeing other Groovers around I'm like we're all.

[Steve Berg]

Just gonna get what's a Groover?

[Jake Johnson]

So we go out what's a Groover? Kind of like, you know, a cooler version of a hipster.

[Eric Edelstein]

It's Eric. Eric is a groover.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I'm a dog.

[Steve Berg]

What is a cooler version of a hipster at a 99 year old?

[Eric Edelstein]

It's a man who's extremely stoned, wearing a tie dye shirt, dancing with his hands up in the air.

[Jake Johnson]

What Steve said.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, like he's at evangelical snake handling church.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh my God. I'll talk to you off the air. I just had some really good luck in a Bill Walton auction. To be continued.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This life, every little glimpse into it is unique. A real.

[Steve Berg]

What the hell is a Bill Wal auction?

[Jake Johnson]

They auction. They auction off his personal possessions.

[Eric Edelstein]

What?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, every.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See Jake, you said no tangents. But how can you resist all the breadcrumbs?

[Steve Berg]

How could you just sell off a dead man's stuff and a bunch of groovers buying his dirty socks?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, it's disgusting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tie dye shirt.

[Steve Berg]

Let the man rest, Eric.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jacket, a watch. Eric's gonna be Bill Walton. Yeah, his hair.

[Jake Johnson]

Steve knows this. This is the goal. Bill had it all figured out.

[Steve Berg]

Anybody listening to this has any access to Luke Walton, his normal seeming son. Just know they are auctioning off your dad's personal items to groovers. The definition of a groover is a man in a tie dye, dancing, as Steve said, like this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like how a baby dances when I die.

[Steve Berg]

A message to my daughter. Someone clip this. Don't auction my garbage and my dirty under. It won't be groovers for me. It'll be a new term called hustlers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

What'S a hustler? If you got greasy hair and you're trying to make a deal like this. Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me. So you go to a 99 year old man. No, all my images is one of those monkeys I see on Instagram with a chain around their neck in some country with tourists walking by. And the monkey comes out and does like a real funky dance and they make money and somebody goes like, we've got to release the monkeys. That's what I always think when I hear these. So Dicky Van Dyke has in my head, he's got a little chain around his neck. He's in the back cage.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way. I just, I just googled Dick Van Dyke now just to have a look. And the first thing that it says is that he had to miss an event due to health reasons.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, 8 99.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Unfortunately today is not a good day for him.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, here it go on.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, Gareth just gave the story away way oh Sorry.

[Steve Berg]

Go on, Eric.

[Jake Johnson]

I'll still get there. I'll still get there. But, yes, sadly, mercifully, perhaps for our listeners, Dick did not show after about an hour and 40 minutes.

[Steve Berg]

Eric was at that show.

[Jake Johnson]

I was so excited. And I knew, you know, there was a MC that was having some issues because he didn't bring his glasses and he couldn't read the record. How old? Number old. There was a whole bunch going on. Gareth, I wish. I wish Dick and Arlene had met you, because this is the kind of thing. This was a layup to. To mc, but God bless Stu, he did the best he could. We're an hour and 40 minutes in. Is this Patreon or is this regular?

[Eric Edelstein]

Regular.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is regular.

[Steve Berg]

Okay today, but talk like it's Patreon.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, Gotcha, Gareth. I'm filtered because I truly love all three you. About an hour and 40 minutes in, they introduced the Fantastics, which I have seen on Instagram. The magic.

[Steve Berg]

Gareth, your thoughts?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Completely shocked, horrified. It's all fluff. I mean, this man is a hundred years old. To be an hour 40 into an event to see Dick Van Dyke, and he's not there. And as I've ruined, eventually doesn't show. And this is a makeup event for someone you've let down before. I mean, it's. I would be. I would literally be like, eric, look, I love you. I won't go to another thing with you.

[Steve Berg]

I'm mad at you now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm mad at you.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Next time we do dinner and you drive.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, yeah. Well, that's also part of the problem is I did drive. And then an hour and 40 minutes in, and I'd seen clips online of Dick Van Dyke finding this fountain of youth and dancing with this group of musicians and his wife at 99. And they introduced the Fantastics. And this childlike thrill comes through the room. And it's three musicians and it's Arlene Van Dyke, Dick's wife. And she looks very somber. And then she says, well, I know this isn't the Van Dyke you wanted to see. And then there's this kind of horrified pause and a gasp because we've all driven to Malibu. Malibu High School. Like, this is a buff. Earlier, they played the game. How far did you come? There is someone there from Belgium. There is someone there from London to meet the great Dick Van Dyke at a high school. Yeah, high school auditorium. It was at the Dick and Arlene Van Dyke High School auditorium in Malibu. And then she says, dick is not able to make it today. And he's 99 watching on Veep. And we want to send messages to Dick. Dick, Vanity Camp has always been about your talents. So we want to invite people from the audience to come up and sing and send messages to Dick. And then this is where I do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Feel so much worse. So fast.

[Eric Edelstein]

They invited Randos to sing.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Yeah. And I felt guilty because I saw a couple, like, Hollywood folks. I saw Tia Carrera there and I saw Instagram footage. Tia ended the show on stage singing to Dick Van Dyke. I'm like, she's a better person than I am.

[Steve Berg]

What other celebs were there? King put some more digits on the streets. Who else was at Vandy Camp?

[Jake Johnson]

It's a Tia Carrera, Doug Jones. And then amazingly, people just come up to be on stage. Some an actress from the movie A Family Affair. She's like, I want to come up still. And she just came. He's like, ladies and gentlemen, it's so and so from A Family Affair. And like, I'm. People can just come from the audience that want to be on stage and do it. So then for me, I just started getting a little frustrated because I'm like, when do they know Dick wasn't showing? Because this is old hat for me. Imagine going geriatric rockers. I get so many shows canceled, I get the option of a refund or move up. So when Merle Haggard kept canceling, I just kept moving up my tickets. And then the fourth time's a charm. He played and I was like, second row. And I know I'm going to be a glutton for punishment here. Year. I will try one more time for Vandy Camp because this is what's keeping Dick alive. Arlene said he wants. She wants to do a show a month till he's 100. And I'd be devastated if I miss seeing Dick Van Dyke. So I'm hoping she says he has good days and bad days. I probably will make the trek out there again. What else am I doing on a Saturday afternoon?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm just picturing my face if I was with you. And you started saying, I wonder when they knew that he wasn't going to make it. To me, I'd be like, buddy, I don't give a fuck what. What. This was a makeup event. The last time we hung out, a guy shit his pants twice on stage.

[Eric Edelstein]

And you called it rolling.

[Steve Berg]

King Berg, thank you for joining the. This first ever type of show, which was just bullshitting on a Wednesday. So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Steve Berg]

Eric. Steve, where can people find you?

[Eric Edelstein]

Eric, why don't you go first.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Eric will be at a senior center. Winner.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. At Eric J. Edelstein and all things.

[Eric Edelstein]

I am Steve Berg. What am I doing?

[Steve Berg]

Where could people listen to this? Go. I like that guy. I want to see him and stuff.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. Burg Master 5000 on that stuff. And then I have a podcast called.

[Steve Berg]

High Strangeness available anywhere you get your podcast.

[Eric Edelstein]

Absolutely.

[Steve Berg]

Gentlemen, we love you guys. Thank you. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod gmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] hereto help pod to see our entire cast catalog.

[Eric Edelstein]

We're Here to Help is produced by.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rabbit Grimm Productions executive producers Rob Hollis.

[Steve Berg]

Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike. Animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Eric Edelstein]

All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go to patreon.com hereto helppod. Hey there. We're Heredos. That's the new name we have for you. This is Gareth. Just reminding you if you have not checked out my new podcast Next we have also a Headgun production. Please do that. It is a show that just has a lot of good, quick hitting segments that are funny. The show is just silly, goofy. It's a good time. I think people will like it. That's why it was named Time magazine's podcast of the year. That's a lie. Don't look it up. But you know, listen. We're here to helps the best. So if you like this show, I think you might like my new podcast called Next we have. Please give it a listen and if you like it, you know, do all that stuff you got to do with podcasts. Appreciate it.