186: I Ask the Questions & I Love My Wife

Summary

We're Here to Help – Episode 186: "I Ask the Questions & I Love My Wife"

Release Date: July 7, 2025

Hosts: Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds
Produced by: Headgum

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Episode Overview

In Episode 186 of "We're Here to Help," hosts Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds continue their comedic journey of dispensing unconventional advice to callers facing a variety of challenges. This episode delves into dealing with persistent door-to-door salespeople and explores the humorous yet relatable predicament of maintaining personal hygiene in shared spaces like saunas.

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Show Updates and Community Engagement

The episode begins with Jake and Gareth reflecting on their previous episode, where they deviated from their usual format by featuring Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein. They acknowledge the feedback from listeners and invite the audience to share their preferences for future content, whether it be more re-releases or casual "fireside chats."

Notable Quote:

Jake Johnson [00:02]: "We have a very crisp format to our show. This is a call and advice show."
Gareth Reynolds [00:02]: "Yeah, you and I give C to D advice."

They emphasize the importance of listener input to shape the show's direction, fostering a sense of community and participation.

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Introducing Tom: The First Intern

A significant highlight of the episode is the introduction of Tom, a dedicated listener from New Zealand who has interned with the show. Tom's enthusiasm and commitment are celebrated as he discusses his experience and contributions.

Notable Quote:

Tom [05:04]: "I'm doing good. I'm doing good."
Jake Johnson [05:24]: "You've really been helping. You've been working a lot, learning a lot, and everyone has very positive things to say about you."

Tom shares his excitement about interning with "We're Here to Help," highlighting his role in assisting with the podcast's operations while balancing his studies back in New Zealand.

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Kyle's Appreciation Email

Jake reads an uplifting email from Kyle Long, a mailman with short-term memory loss, who expresses his gratitude for the podcast. Kyle's heartfelt message underscores the positive impact the show has on its listeners.

Notable Quote:

Kyle Long [07:08]: "I slap in headphones and listen to you guys for a few hours every day. Every day."
Jake Johnson [07:57]: "Kyle, you're the best."

Kyle humorously adds personal details, mentioning his two dogs and cats, and requests advice on convincing his girlfriend to get another dog—a testament to the show's blend of humor and genuine listener engagement.

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Main Call: Advice for John on Aggressive Salespeople

Caller: John from the Kansas City area
Timestamp: [13:14] – [22:05]

John seeks advice on handling aggressive door-to-door solar panel salespeople who disregard "No Soliciting" signs. He describes their persistent tactics, such as knocking on windows and providing vague information about smart meters and new programs.

Key Points:

• John's frustration with sales pitches that lack transparency.
• The difficulty in stopping these unsolicited sales attempts.
• John's desire to find a way to make the salespeople's approach as annoying to them as it is to him.

Notable Quotes:

John [13:18]: "I'm calling from the Kansas City area."
Jake Johnson [13:35]: "So, John, if you had a memoir about your life, what would it be called?"
John [14:03]: "Eventually."
John [16:05]: "...these guys are like college kids that are just doing their summer job."

Advice and Discussion: Jake and Gareth brainstorm creative and humorous solutions to John's problem. Their suggestions range from employing prank tactics inspired by the movie "Home Alone" to more unorthodox methods like using rapid-fire questions to disarm the salespeople. The conversation is filled with playful banter, highlighting the hosts' comedic chemistry.

Notable Quote:

Jake Johnson [22:03]: "We could create an audio recording that... you could be a character."
Gareth Reynolds [28:01]: "I think this is a crazy position I'm in right now."

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Butt Wax Segment with Nick: A Comedic Take on Personal Hygiene

Caller/Participant: Nick from Utah
Timestamp: [35:39] – [73:02]

Nick introduces a peculiar issue related to frequent sauna use—leaving streaks of fecal matter behind due to excessive bowel movements. He humorously seeks advice beyond conventional medical solutions, leading Jake and Gareth to propose an unorthodox remedy: butt waxing.

Key Points:

• Nick's problem stems from needing to clean up after using the sauna.
• The hosts propose waxing as a humorous alternative to medical interventions.
• A comedic role-play segment where Jake, Gareth, and Nick simulate their own butt waxing experiences, adding layers of humor and absurdity to the conversation.

Notable Quotes:

Nick [35:39]: "Can we get your name, please?"
Jake Johnson [38:43]: "I am not a pervert."
Gareth Reynolds [45:16]: "They poured something. It was like they put something and then they rubbed it around."

Role-Play Highlights: The segment features exaggerated reactions and dialogue, such as Gareth humorously describing the pain and awkwardness of waxing, and Nick expressing his discomfort and reluctance. The playful interaction emphasizes the show's comedic approach to advice-giving.

Notable Quote:

Jake Johnson [54:12]: "Nick, I am thrilled. Thrilled. At this point, I am, too."
Gareth Reynolds [57:26]: "I think Aba's right direction."

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Conclusion and Future Segments

The episode wraps up with reflections on the interactions with callers and the humorous scenarios they've created. Jake and Gareth express appreciation for their listeners' engagement and tease future segments, including potential follow-ups with Nick to see if butt waxing resolved his issues.

Notable Quote:

Jake Johnson [86:00]: "Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions."

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Final Thoughts

Episode 186 of "We're Here to Help" masterfully blends humor with relatable problems, maintaining its signature style of unconventional advice. Through engaging conversations, role-plays, and the introduction of Tom, the first intern, the hosts create an entertaining and interactive experience for their audience. Notably, the episode reinforces the community-driven aspect of the podcast, encouraging listener participation and feedback to shape future content.

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Disclaimer: The advice provided in this episode is intended for entertainment purposes only. Listeners should consult professionals for personal issues.

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

This is a headgun podcast on a Monday. You know, our last Wednesday episode, we did something different, Gareth. We sure did. We did a Steve Berg, Eric Edelstein around for an hour. I don't know. Look, people, we. We have a very crisp format to our show. This is a call and advice show. Yeah. You and I give C to D advice. That's exactly right. Cajole people to take it, then we follow up and we probably have a 54 hit rate. Yeah, well, we're currently getting stats on that. People are sending it in. We are going to actually, I know you don't check the email, but we are. A lot of people have written in. We are starting to get numbers. Okay, I can't wait. And there's going to be an intro where we read it out. We're going to. It's going to be a whole thing. Okay, great. That was a huge departure because we thought, well, it's a holiday week, it's kind of a weird week for podcasting. So we thought, why not just do a kind of muck around with Berg, who came in 12 minutes early to the show. Everybody will have heard it by now. And Eric Edelstein, who once again just flame throws any chat he's involved in with his takes that are so hot, they could be a hot take festival winner. I agree. But it was a wild event. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So do.

[Jake Johnson]

Do me a favor to the people listening just for the fun of the show and the choose your own adventure aspect of podcasting in 2025. Comment wherever you watch it. If you like that you want more of that or you don't and it's fine. But it's. Because then you could also do the random, like, Friday, I love hanging out with you and those guys on a zoom, or you and me and anybody else. It's also a fun thing to do every once in a while. It's not what our show is. Well, it's also because our show is not like a sit down, chit chat podcast. It agrees. There's a lot we could talk about. We're not like. We're not like, low on stuff we can gab about. But here's a question, Gareth, that I have to the audience.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Jake Johnson]

Would people rather the occasional re release or would people rather the occasional fireside chat? Recap it, muck around. The idea of it was we were going to talk a little bit about the world of the show, where we're at, other stories, have the occasional guest come in and just clown around with us just for the fun of it so comment. And like always, it doesn't matter if it's negative. We want your real opinions. And don't forget to share the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good luck.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, I've got something really fast about sharing the show that I wanted to read.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm glad you brought that thing in. But first, we're doing a little something differently. And please remind me about sharing the show thing because it's fun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

But in terms of the world building and the show getting bigger, we're actually doing something that is not something we had planned. It's kind of unique to Gareth and I too, and we're excited about it. Well, you alluded to the fact that you're the email checker.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

And we've. We've really had a number of people get involved in the show from Caitlin, starting with social media. Email. Yeah. To eliminate Tina who's helping us right now with also new. So it's like people jump in and help. So you got an email from a teenager in New Zealand named Tom who is a day one listener. Ride or die of the show. Had had his. Had the episodes, everything, knows his stuff.

[Natalie]

And.

[Jake Johnson]

And we. And. And he pitched us on an internship and we were like. But very specific. And it was, can I come out for a month? I have my own place to stay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And I just want to learn the ins and outs of the business and I want to know all facets of it. So we kind of followed up and made sure his parents had okayed this and this was not some sort of catfishing. And Tom was real. Tom's parents were super into it. Wanted to give him a break. This is from school. He get. He got a month off, basically. But there was a version of credit. Like, I'm not going to get into the weeds of it, but there was educational things involved. Yeah. Wasn't drinking beer out here and gambling on horses. Not that we know. Yeah. But so let's. Let's bring on. So we have Tom, the first. The New Zealand Thunder to help. The New Zealand Thunder, the first intern. Tom. Welcome to the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello. Hello. How are we?

[Jake Johnson]

Good, brother. How are you?

[Nick]

I'm doing good. I'm doing good.

[Tom]

Just happy to be on the show.

[Nick]

Happy to be the intern.

[Jake Johnson]

How have you been enjoying your internship on. We're here to help.

[Nick]

Been loving it. One of my first trips overseas. First time to America and I've been loving it here. It's.

[Tom]

I've got a place to stay.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but you're pretty much. You're at the end of your Internship with us for now, Tom, we're gonna keep using you for certain things. You've been over online with them. Yeah, yeah, of course. But you've, you've really been helping. You've been, you've been working a lot, learning a lot, and everyone has very positive things to say about you. Is it strange that the initial chapter is kind of coming to an end because you're going back to New Zealand, back to school now, and you're going to kind of.

[Nick]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom]

It feels, it feels weird, you know, like one day I was helping on a podcast with Jake Johnson and now.

[Nick]

I'm going back to do like stuff like, and get.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry, sorry.

[Jake Johnson]

He knows the bit. He knows the show. He's our Heather, baby. He's our Heather. Well, you've been awesome, dude. Everyone has great things to say about you. Yeah, we wish you luck going back to school. We're going to miss you like crazy. But you're also not done with us, obviously, as we've all talked about. We're going to keep emailing and figure stuff out. Tom, you're a hard worker. You got a bright future ahead of you. Now I'm just going to include you in this opening now, Tom, I. Not. I want your opinion too, but we got an email, of course, about the show spreading that I thought was very funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

From a guy named Kyle Long.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Not the Bears Kyle Long. Cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not cool.

[Jake Johnson]

First of all, it's not him. And second of all, it wouldn't be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cool if it was.

[Jake Johnson]

Third of all, I didn't read his name Kyle Long until right this second.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Subject, strategy, planning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh.

[Jake Johnson]

And Tom, feel free to jump in whenever you feel free to.

[Tom]

Of course, of course, of course.

[Jake Johnson]

Just wanted to say love you guys. Just wanted to say love you guys show and everything you guys do. I'm a mailman with a short term memory loss issue, so I re listen to your podcast episodes all the time. This is an ideal listener for a podcast. Like it's the first time I'm here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is exactly what we need. Every download counts.

[Jake Johnson]

Then he wrote, lol. I will say you don't need to increase your following on the show. You just need a good like five or six people with memory issues and you'll have plays and views for the rest of the show's life. Thanks again for making my job more enjoyable. I slap in headphones and listen to you guys for a few hours every day. Every day. If you're ever in Cleveland, Ohio and have mail related questions in Your I'm your guy P s. I have two dogs. P.S. i have two cats and a dog and really want another dog. If you could convince my girlfriend that we could get another dog, that would be great. And I wrote this genuinely brought a huge smile to my face. Thanks for writing it. Can I read it to Gareth during show? He wrote hell yeah brother. I'm sure after a few listens I'll forget it's from me. Hello. Appreciate you guys. Enjoy your day. Kyle, you're the best but so.

[Tom]

Sad but cool.

[Jake Johnson]

That's our sweet guys. That's our sweet we're looking for from now on. We've asked you guys to share. We have seen you have been. We appreciate it but let's share to people with short term memory.

[Nick]

We've got if we can win that demo.

[Jake Johnson]

Well thank you Kyle and thank you Tom for all your hard work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And good luck. Safe trip back and enjoy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Missed.

[Jake Johnson]

You'll be missed anyways, Jake.

[Tom]

Thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

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[Nick]

Good, good.

[Jake Johnson]

Can we get your name, please?

[Tom]

My name is John.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Don. And Don. Welcome to the show.

[Tom]

John with a J.

[Jake Johnson]

That's what I was saying.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Goodbye, John. Where are you calling from, pal?

[Tom]

I'm calling from the Kansas City area.

[Jake Johnson]

You're a Chiefs fan.

[Tom]

I am, yeah. I am now. I grew up in D.C. lived in Chicago and Southern California, but been here for 10 years.

[Jake Johnson]

So, John, if you had a memoir about your life, what would it be called?

[Tom]

It would be called Eventually.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I like that.

[Jake Johnson]

John. Eventually. Lived everywhere. Now you're in Kansas City. What can we do for you today?

[Tom]

So I live in the suburbs and it's summer, so we've got door to door salespeople coming around every once in a while. But I work from home and don't really want to get bothered by every person that wants to sell me a new roof or pest control or whatever, right? So we've got a do not or a no soliciting sign out. And it works kind of half the time. Other half the time, you know, someone comes to the door like, hey, working in the neighborhood, do you have some loose shingles? And say, not interested. Pay attention to those listening signs. See you later. It's all done. This summer, though, we've got these solar panel guys that are coming through and they are just next level in terms of how aggressive they are. Like, the first guy came and he rang the doorbell and ignored it. And he knocked on the door and I ignored it. And he starts knocking on the window. What the hell does this guy want, right? So I go down, I'm like, okay, he must really need something. What's going on? He's got some, like, company shirt on. And he's like, hey, you know, have you gotten your new smart meter installed? I was like, oh, well, maybe he's from the power company. So, like, yeah, like, are you with the electric company? Goes, well, I wanted to tell you about this new program. Like, hold on, are you from the electric company? Every time I ask a question, he starts in on a spiel. I'm like, all right, I'm closing the door now. Like, well, I mean, right? Like, yeah. So he. He's like, well, yeah, I mean, I'm trying. Like, we've got these things. I'm like, well, if you're not going to give me a straight answer, I'm not going to hear you out. I kept interrupting him at all. He goes, well, if I told you I was trying to sell you something, you would have said no. And well, now I've said no. And you've wasted my time and you've wasted your time with, oh, I don't care. Like, this is kind of fun. Like, I'm annoyed. Close the door. Try to look up the company. They don't seem to actually exist. So I don't know what this guy's trying to do. And like, two weeks later, another guy in the same shirt shows up and he knocks on the door. He rings the doorbell, he knocks again. So I go down like, look, your buddy came before. I'm not interested. Pay attention to soliciting signs. Get out of here. I'm just trying to do my job. Like, I. They tell me to knock on every door no matter what. So my question is, these guys are like college kids that are just doing their summer job, right? Somebody's telling them, ignore this. They're just doing what they're told. But I want them to stop. Or, like, what could I do that would be just a little bit weird, a little bit uncomfortable for them to make the situation, like, a little bit as annoying for them as it is for me? Because they're not going to stop if I tell them to stop. There is no one that's going to tell them to stop if I complain. So what can I do to make the situation just as annoying for them or uncomfortable for them as it is annoying for me?

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, John. First, I want to start by complimenting you. You clearly listen to the show. You drove past. You did a full set. Ew, Gareth, I was praying you didn't see that. What was that lick?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I.

[Jake Johnson]

It's all got spilly. Okay? So I had to. Holy animal. Holy ante. Drink your mug. Compliment John. I'm sorry, John. Gareth just took a sip of a mug called Garis Mug. What is going on with you? You are. Your ego is out of control. It was a gift. Then you lick. I didn't mean to face it to the camera. No. Okay, you lick. Gareth. John. John. What Jake was about to say was you had a very clean in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was great.

[Jake Johnson]

Can you explain that weird lick? Yes, actually. Rabbit G. Can you guys edit this? Okay, so first of all, yuck. Gareth, stop. Stop. Sorry. I'm just waking up. That was so gross. It was not okay. I know, but you know that you know. Okay, moving on. I thought that's all I needed to hear. I needed. I was trying to move out of frame so you wouldn't see it. What happened was the lid got stuck. Did you see me leave before we started recording? I was trying to get the lid. Okay. So the lid got stuck for some reason. And. And then when I got it off, it had gotten real drippy. Okay, fair. I get it. It had got drippy. So that I thought, well, while you're talking to John, this is a perfect time. Just do a weird cat lick. So I did a rim job. You did a cat rim. I did a cat rim job and it didn't come across great. I'm sure this will be a clip.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That would be.

[Jake Johnson]

My guess is that people will see this because it's very visual and it's disturbing.

[Morgan]

Definitely.

[Jake Johnson]

You know what?

[Natalie]

It'.

[Jake Johnson]

Will you put his beatboxing under that?

[Tom]

I.

[Jake Johnson]

Look, I think we all trust Matt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A little bit less after we look.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, but back to John. John. John, I'm sorry, because Jake was really giving you a nice compliment. I thought, I'll use that. But that was. That was a really great setup and it was very clean, and you finished it with a question. So I appreciate you. I. You definitely called the right place. Absolutely. Mike, can I ask a question to you? John, how much time do you have to put. Put into this? I mean, do you lick. Sorry. Keep going. You try to drive. You try to drive through it while I do what you did to me. I gave. I gave it a very fair spotlight. Fair. I. I owned what I did.

[Natalie]

Fair.

[Jake Johnson]

It was not right. Yeah, I know that what you're doing is even better than what I did. I mean, I fully went like ice cream in public. Sad. It was bad. How much time do you have to devote to this? How much? How many. Not too much. He works at home. Yeah, but I mean, he could hit hard. Go ahead, John.

[Tom]

I work from home, but I work for myself. But I'm also the guy that made the Piggly and Mo site. So, like, if I get off on a tangent.

[Jake Johnson]

Did you hear what happened? Yeah, John.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

John, this guy made a whole website honoring of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Tom]

And Jake tried to catfish me one night.

[Jake Johnson]

Wait, no, I didn't. John, you thought I was catfishing you? John, tell. John, tell the story. This is so funny.

[Tom]

So I'm listening to the podcast while mowing the lawn, however many weeks ago, and you guys do the thing of.

[Nick]

Piggly and Mo died. Right?

[Tom]

Like the announcement of that. They did die.

[Nick]

Right.

[Tom]

So one of my Jake, like, one of my bad habits. Hobbies is buying website domains. And occasionally I'll make. It's what I do for a living. I do digital marketing stuff.

[Natalie]

Cool.

[Tom]

I was like, wouldn't it be funny if Piggly and Mo fake Is cool website. So kids are, you know, watching their screens on a Saturday and I'm trying to cool off from mowing the lawn and so buy the domain and make a quick website.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, John, what's the name of the website so people listening could check it out? Yeah, I don't see if I've seen the actual site.

[Tom]

Piggly and mo.com.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, that's insane. Oh, yeah, yeah. Why you think it was taken, Garrett? I mean, everything's taken. I was just listening to the Hot.

[Tom]

Dog lady episode last night.

[Nick]

And.

[Jake Johnson]

Off on like, this is so whatever.

[Tom]

Like, Ashley, the hot dog lady is still available. So that's the kind of thing. So I've got some time to burn online.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, boy, John, you know, so I've got my first pitch for you, John.

[Natalie]

All right.

[Jake Johnson]

Actually, I got two pitches.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got a few too.

[Jake Johnson]

One, we could Home Alone it. Remember the movie Home Alone? Keep the change, you filthy animal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Of course.

[Jake Johnson]

Where?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you're. Oh, this is very.

[Jake Johnson]

What? Jump in. It's very. No, I love it. Right? I love where you're headed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

So I'm thinking we could. I like how you're like, john has a job. He can't. We're gonna Home Alone. Well, I didn't realize John was the guy who created the piggly. And there's time to burn. Yeah, we got time. So, John, do you remember in the movie Home Alone, I know you've seen it when little sweet Kevin is home by himself and you got Peshy and Stern trying to break in, and Little Kevin decides to record sounds from a movie and scare the pizza guy away. And it's drop it on the door and get the hell out of here before I like, shoot you in your keister.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Take care of her. I'm gonna pump you so full of lead. Keep the cage. I'm gonna give you to the count of 10 to get your no good yellow belly off of my porch.

[Tom]

1.

[Jake Johnson]

1, 2. 10. Yes.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So we could create an audio recording that and look as one of the creators of Piggly and Mo, which we got busted on. I'm not positive how this technology works. John, that's on you. You're the web designer. We're just here to pitch an idea that maybe you could do. Do you have a ring or something like that that maybe you could talk through it or even just like a speaker? So is there a world? If this idea works and you like it, do you have the technology to pull this off?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Tom]

I was even thinking, like, I'd be Up for going down and answering the door. And I can like be a character, have the recording ready. Was thinking if it's like a recording I have on my phone, pretend to be on my phone, accidentally left on speakerphone and it's like something ridiculous recorded.

[Jake Johnson]

Of that makes sense.

[Tom]

Voicemail from a doctor. Or like I'm getting fired right then and there.

[Jake Johnson]

Or what I would like to do is. So what I do when I get calls from spam is I always answer and I try to get them on the line. I'll do it with my kids in the car on speakers and I'll do a whole routine with these people. The best. A lot of it has to do with Jesus. And I'm preaching a little bit to them and I'm trying to bring the Lord back to them a little bit. And you'll be surprised in the middle of it they'll be like, so are you interested in selling your house? And I'll be like, I'm interested in the Lord and I'm interested in the Lord coming right through the phone to you, Jack and Angela. Because I'll tell you what, I live on a goddamn dirt floor. I got fire as my light. As they're looking at a 360 view of your house. And then all of a sudden, midway seeing gorillas in the yard, this guy, they will go all right, well thanks so much. And never stop until they hang up. So what you could do is we could create a preacher character, John. And rather than doing it over voicemail, you could be it. Because what a salesman hates is when they're being sold. So sell the salesman.

[Nick]

That's the other thing I thought.

[Jake Johnson]

Go ahead, John was.

[Tom]

So my parents moved out here from out of state a number of years ago and they lived with us for a bit and it's a whole thing. But they're. When they tried to change their address, they changed my address too. And my dad and my information got like meshed up with these data miners. So I get calls for him, a 75 year old guy for like reverse mortgages and insurance and stuff like that. And they wouldn't stop. So I just started telling them that my dad had died. Like I can't believe you would call and grieving family just after they died. Trying to sell my dead dad insurance or whatever.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, right.

[Tom]

Like do I take it in that direction?

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, John. Yeah. Speaking of Home Alone, you remember another great classic from that era, a little movie called Uncle Buck. What do they both have in common?

[Tom]

Buck.

[Jake Johnson]

What? What are you talking. Wait you said you never saw Uncle Buck.

[Tom]

I never saw Uncle Buck.

[Jake Johnson]

First. First piece of homework. You gotta watch Uncle Buck.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

Wonderful John Candy movie. But there's John Candy and Macaulay Culkin, of course. Well, that's where I'm going with. There's a moment when little Macaulay is Uncle Buck is the uncle who comes in from the city to the suburbs to watch the kids for a weekend. And Macaulay rapid fire asks questions to Uncle Buck, and Uncle Buck just asked. Here's what I'm thinking. When they come to the door, you bring your phone on voice notes and you rapid fire take over the thing and ask questions. And we use it for the podcast. I think a lot of what we're pitching we use for the podcast. Yeah, but. Yes, but literally. I agree. They go to the door and you go like. You go like, here we go. And you say beforehand, this is John from Kansas City. This is door number four, starting time, 2:17. You answer and they go like, hi, I'm here. And you go like this. I'm asking the questions. Number one, what's your favorite color? Do you wear orthotics? Do we get you enough questions until. Have you ever found ham in your car? And we will come up with questions. And John, what we can do as a community too is we could have the Patreon people write questions too. I love it. Do we even want to get you a hat that says press on the side of it, like you're representing some sort of old timey publication or something? Or a shirt that says I asked the questions. Yeah, something like just.

[Tom]

I think a hat could work.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Because it's easier.

[Tom]

Like, this is what I'm looking for because I am not a think on my feet creative person. So I need something that I can like walk down armed with.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Tom]

I might be just coming off a work call so I can throw on a hat.

[Jake Johnson]

You could also have a sheet of paper with the questions. I think you could get one of those little notebooks that are kind of the little flippy notebooks that the reporters used to have and pretend to be jotting down. That's where you can have your question. You do? Yeah, yeah, you use that. And then in your pocket, in like a chest pocket, you're gonna put your phone recording the audio for us. John, what do you think? Let's. Let's hear from you a little bit.

[Tom]

I love that idea. I love the rapid fire questions. Right. Like, I've got to be able to do this right away when they show up. Honestly, I was sitting here hoping that, like, it was a couple weeks ago that the last came and they came a couple weeks before that. Like, wouldn't it be awesome if they showed up while I was on the.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, I was thinking one of the things we could do is call the company and prank them, but I think this is a better move. This is better.

[Tom]

Well, and I haven't been able to find the company, like, just send a complaint. But, like, it seems like they're not just, like, trying to sell stuff, that there's something shady going on because, like, I guarantee to exist on the Internet.

[Jake Johnson]

Super weird. Yeah.

[Tom]

Rapid fire questions, right? Like, that's what I need is, like, a list. Like, you're putting him in your car. When you knock on doors, anyone ever gets you naked.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, let's do this really fast, John. Let's do this really fast. Tell me how many questions you think you know these people? How many questions do you think you could get before they leave? And you just. You gotta keep firing. And then at a certain point, you just close the door on them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh.

[Tom]

I mean, I'm willing to stand there and do it until they leave.

[Nick]

I now like you.

[Tom]

I want them to. I want them to be the ones to walk away.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Tom]

I know I could do like three or four and then they'd start trying to interrupt me. No, they came out for a second and then just plow. Right. Like just railroad again.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Tom]

With another five or six, I bet I could get through 10 or 15, I think.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's make a goal. Let's make a contest. We're trying to get to 20 questions. I think if you play it right, if you're pretending to sort of absorb a little bit of what they say and just always fire back with the weirdest question, I think you'll be able to get there. I like the idea, too. We don't need to be everything but. Remember when Mike Myers had coffee talk, Jake? Yes. Since we're doing an inspire, it could be questions like that. Like, the peanut is neither a P, is neither P nor a nut. What do you think of that? It could be, like, stuff along those lines. Like, how come they sell hot dogs and packs of 10 but buns an 8? That weird? Like that? Sort of. You know, so, you know, what we could actually do is why don't we come up with some questions right now in case they come? It would be really funny to not only have like a base 10, but just keep changing it because this could be a really fun reoccurring segment. John.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

What could be really fun is if you get one and you send it and we just put it on with just at the end of an episode. We just. Whenever they come for the next year, John's Corner, we just go like, hey, producers, you're like, here. Here's another segment from John's Corner. Listen to the first one episode ever. So if somebody finds our late and they don't go back, they just go like, it doesn't make any sense. What's great about this, too, is that obviously we love it, but you're going to be excited. You hear a knock, you're going to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Be like, I got to get my press kit.

[Tom]

I was just thinking, does that mean I need to take down the no soliciting sign? Does that mean I need to let them come to the door?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, dare I say we put a sign up that says, please solicit, John. Please solicit. I have some questions. Please solicit. I have questions that is.

[Nick]

That might go ahead at that point.

[Tom]

If we want them to engage. Want them to think that I'm, you know, engaging with them. Does the I ask the questions hat lead them on a bit too much that I'm just trying to.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Nick]

Mess with them.

[Jake Johnson]

You're right. You're right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Nick]

I do kind of like the idea.

[Tom]

Of I ask the questions how that'd be a good one, like, just to have ready with for my kids.

[Jake Johnson]

We're in a new zone now because we wanted to get rid of it, and now we just want to live.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In it with fun.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

No, but we want to live in it in a way in order to get rid of it. So I don't want that anymore. So, John, we're wrapping this up with you and then pick your favorite questions and maybe every time change them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

And just obviously send as you go. Thank you for creating the website pigleyandmoe.com and then just honestly, as you know, you're a listener, just every time it happens, send us a clip. If you want to do a little voice note intro, you want to do a producer Sherlock here and just say, caller John here. And you want to recap it a little bit before. That'd be helpful, too.

[Tom]

Awesome. I'm gonna go down and take off the no listing sign right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Attaboy.

[Jake Johnson]

We're back, baby. So glad we could help with your problem.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Glad we solved your problem.

[Nick]

Thanks, guys. Bye. Bye.

[Jake Johnson]

And we are brought to you by Kachava. So I am a fan of Kachav. I drink It a lot. It's got 25 grams of 100% plant based protein. It's got chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, coconut, acai. I like the chocolate. I also like the vanilla. Those are my two things. I am drinking it on a daily basis. You don't have to be a vegan to love it. But I don't mess with dairy so that's why I like it. Honestly, I am in love with cachava. I started to take cachava on the road with me. It is a protein powder. It makes feel energized, focused, calm, satiated for hours. I try to do healthy protein powders. I have for a long time. I just was over the moon when I tried cachava because I was like, oh my lord, this is delicious and it's good for you. It's filled with all the ingredients that you would want in a protein. Goji berries, chia seeds. These are things you keep hearing about and you're like, how do I incorporate these? You don't need to worry about it anymore because caciava is doing it for you. It's vegan. It's a plant protein. There's 26 vitamins and minerals, 6 grams of fiber, 85 plus superfoods. Maybe 86, I don't know, they won't tell me. But it's 85 plus nutrients, plant based ingredients. I just mix it with a little bit of peanut butter and some veggies in a smoothie and it elevates it. I used to add fruit to my smoothies. I don't do that anymore because kachava is that good. So fuel your daily adventures with Kachava. Go to kachava.com and use code here to help for 15% off your next order. That's Kachav K A C-H-A-V A.com code here to help for 15% OFF. Producer Sherlock here. This next call is a follow up to episode 180, BackDoor Boys. The guys asked Morgan who runs our patreon, to join this call so you'll hear her as well.

[Sherlock]

Hello?

[Nick]

Hello?

[Sherlock]

Hey, it's Morgan. You don't know me. Who do we got here?

[Nick]

This is, this is Nick from Utah.

[Jake Johnson]

Nick.

[Natalie]

Hey, Nick's back.

[Jake Johnson]

We know who Nick is. Nick is. The guy has a problem where he gets in steam rooms and when he gets up there's a streak behind him. And so what we recommended was he gets a Brazilian butt wax to see if it helps the problem. Is that correct, Nick? Am I, am I dead on?

[Nick]

Yeah. Dead on.

[Jake Johnson]

One thing we gotta say really fast before we start, Nick, is your call got us the most emails we've gotten in a while about a call. Natalie, will you read the last email I sent over last night?

[Morgan]

Yeah, yeah, I will. Give me.

[Jake Johnson]

So we just gotta. For anybody who related to Nick's problem or Nick, here was the main response from the audience.

[Morgan]

Yeah, so this is an email I'm gonna read, but they also came through his Spotify comments, other emails, lots of the same advice.

[Nick]

Yeah, I did read some of the comments.

[Morgan]

Yeah, the subject line is shouting at the radio. Love you guys. And NAT attack. I'd called to say this, but I couldn't find the number for the caller who has stains on their sauna towel. I used to have very similar gastro issues and both my wife and I were literally yelling out loud, go to a freaking gastroenterologist. I know a lot of dudes don't like doctors and it's inconvenient and all the excuses just go. I'm 34 and dealt with messed up guts for years and it just kept getting worse. And then after two appointments and one colonoscopy, I was given a medication that resolved all my issues in weeks.

[Natalie]

Done.

[Morgan]

And I've never looked back.

[Jake Johnson]

It's not fun advice.

[Morgan]

Medical problems deserve medical solutions. Enjoy your butt waxing.

[Natalie]

I enjoy you.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Nick, we just want to say to everybody out there who's relating, I we agree with that email. That's an option. But the option we took was something else. Well, you called a different show. Yeah. So we did some butt waxing. So, Nick, where are we at here? Big daddy, how we doing?

[Nick]

Yeah, well, I read all the comments and I actually had a lot of people reach out to me as well about that. So it's noted. But, you know, I. I call, you know, Dr. Gareth and Dr. Jake for my advice. You know, you know what I'm saying?

[Jake Johnson]

Because you get it, dude. You're not a freaking idiot. Yeah, because, you know, being a doctor is just a state of mind. We know what we're doing.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm not wasting my time.

[Nick]

We're not gonna confine to societal norms and have good, you know, bowel movements. We're gonna talk to a podcast and wax our phone.

[Jake Johnson]

Wasting my time going to med school when I know these answers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Jake Johnson]

Exactly, Nick. So you. Did you get the butt waxing?

[Nick]

I did get the butt waxing. And let me just say, it's gotta be up there for one of the craziest experiences of my life.

[Jake Johnson]

Please, take your time.

[Nick]

Can I. Well, first, can I ask, did Gareth get his as well, or was I left out to dry?

[Jake Johnson]

I don't know. Gareth, did you get a butt waxing? Natalie, how do we want to handle this?

[Morgan]

Yeah, I. I want. I have reactions from both of you guys. I want to play yours first, Gareth.

[Natalie]

And then.

[Jake Johnson]

So the answer is yes, Jake. You did?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

It's been a lot of sex, but how much should I say now? I said, don't tell me anything until we're on the show. How much should I say, Natalie, because.

[Morgan]

It might be funnier to listen to you.

[Natalie]

And then. And then. But.

[Jake Johnson]

But, Nick, here. Here's what we need to do, because this is an exciting one for us. Don't be quiet. Just jump in. Okay? You're part of this.

[Nick]

Can I also. Can I also say. I mean. Okay, watch Garrett's first, and then I'll give you some context before I show you mine.

[Morgan]

Okay, so Garrett's is just audio. We have a little quick video from Nick, but we're only going to use the audio on the pod, cuz we're gonna respect your privacy with your face, but, you know, it's good.

[Jake Johnson]

This is Garrett getting waxed. This is me, probably before.

[Morgan]

No, no, no. You had like, maybe 10 minutes.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, let me. Let me say, Jake, what happened was I thought we were going to record. I was going to record some with Dave Holmes. Yes. And I was sitting there, and we'd had a miscommunication, so he wasn't showing up. And Natalie was like, well, go get your waxing. And I was like, am I doing this? I was like, what's going on with. You know, that's when we started texting, and I was already basically on. So I went from sitting here about to record to literally 30 minutes later doing this. All right, go ahead, Natalie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, boy. I can already tell this is going to be wild.

[H]

So how long have you had a podcast?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This podcast is about two years now. So this is me in the room. Say the wax faces. Oh, my God, is it bleeding?

[Natalie]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that was nuts. Oh, my Lord.

[Tom]

Would have been so much better if.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We did it together.

[Jake Johnson]

I agree, Nick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't know there was more there.

[Jake Johnson]

Now, now, this is really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is more than I expected, I'll be honest.

[Jake Johnson]

So, okay, let me say this. What happened was this. I. I said I was in for the butt, right? And I said, and when you and I talk, like, I was trying to just be. I was like, well, what'll be best for the show is what I started to think. But the place I was going only did the back. Right? Okay. So I thought. And when I went in and I said, you don't do the front too, do you? She said, we do it all. And I said, let's go. You did. Is the front. Oh my God, Nick. You just went back?

[Nick]

I. Yeah, I only did.

[Jake Johnson]

Back is ten times more painful. Wait, hold on.

[Morgan]

All right, so now we're gonna. Now we're gonna.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on, hold on. Natalie, I have to ask questions. I have to ask questions. Okay, so you went in. Gareth and Nick, you're gonna. You're gonna get grilled too, but we want you part of this as well. But my 20 year friend got a Brazilian all. So what happens? You go there, you take off your underpants and they wax your backside in your dick and balls. Dude, it's. It. It is. Let me say this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

I'll never do it again. There is. This will never happen. There were there. Did you say that makes one of us? Yes, he did. Yes.

[Nick]

I'm having a different. It sounds like I've had a different experience.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth, hold on. We got. We have to go to Nick now. Nick, Nick, should we listen to yours and hear your take and then. Yeah, let's kind of get into it.

[Nick]

Yeah, yeah. Can I set the stage first of saying that I'm not a comedian or not an actor? And so I felt incredibly uncomfortable pulling out my phone in this situation. So, yeah, you'll be able to see on my face how awkward I was. It's a short video too. Again, I felt very uncomfortable and the girl was looking at me like, why the hell are you recording this? So you'll see his face. Pretty quickly.

[Morgan]

You'll see his face, but it, it's fine. We'll just play the audio on the pod.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, let's hear and let's see. You ready?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

3, 2, 1.

[Gareth Reynolds]

More.

[Natalie]

3, 2, 1. Okay.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Natalie]

Other side. Okay, you ready?

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Yours didn't seem so bad, Nick, but. But the thing is this. I went in there and I was like, I'm. What I'm not going to do is 40 year old vert. Like I'm not going to go over the top. I was like, I want it to. It. The front hurts. So. Hold on, G man, where that. So that's. I. I assumed from that. From the follow up from people writing. So I don't know if we needed two guys getting their butt wax. That's why I pushed you so hard for the front. But. Nick, walk us through what happened with the butt wax?

[Nick]

Well, first of all, let me just set the stage. When you're filling out the forms, there's a part in it where it says that you consent to not touch yourself while getting this done.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, because some people do it for perversion.

[Tom]

That's what I was seeing.

[Nick]

So I'm like, man, like, I. I feel like this girl is probably gonna assume I'm a pervert, of course. So the whole time I go in and I'm just like, by the way, I. I love my wife and I. I have a very happy family and I'm a very normal person.

[Jake Johnson]

So by the way, weirdest thing you could have said to start. I think it's fine to go in there for that and just keep saying how much you love your wife while, hey, family, just on your wax your asshole.

[Nick]

I. I needed her to know that I. That I wasn't a pervert. And then she also. I don't know why.

[Jake Johnson]

That's exactly what a pervert would say. No, perverts always tell people they're not perverts. You find, hey, will you wax my butthole? And I'm a pervert.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's not how it works. Probably.

[Jake Johnson]

They go like this. I love my wife, Stephanie, she's the love. My boys, they have soccer practice. Wax my butthole as I touch my sack. And you go like, ew, you're a pervert.

[Sherlock]

Just have to say, never had to fill out that form.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I haven't either.

[Jake Johnson]

I didn't have to fill that. The male, I think it was identical. Wife's. I think it's Nick.

[Nick]

Yeah, that's what I was saying. It must been a male only form because it was like, the second page was like, you agree not to touch yourself or the person. If they ever feel uncomfortable, they can kick you out. And so I'm like, okay, what. What am I signing up for? I'm not trying to tell them a, you know, pervert or anything like that.

[Jake Johnson]

So, you know, this reminds me of, Remember the Eddie Murphy skit where he wore white face and the whole world was different when he was white?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The best.

[Jake Johnson]

There is the same reality for men and women. Like, if a woman goes to get a wax in, if a guy goes and goes, send us a piece of paper that if you touch your fucking dick, you're out of here. We can kick you out, whatever and just go like, yeah, just get an actual waxing that sketch. The best.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The best.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, so, Nick, you go in there, you fill out the 15 pages of consent you're not going to creep this poor woman out. You're not going to jack off. You're just going to get your butt waxed.

[Nick]

And she told me. She's like, you know, take off your pants, as was expected. And then I. And so I clearly said, may I take off my pants now? So that she knew I was, you know, this was all a consensual transaction.

[Jake Johnson]

Again, I was going a little over the top, Nick. And in that. In doing that, while your heart was in the right place. It is. It seems a lot stranger to me to be like, I love my wife. May I take my pants off? I have kids. I am sorry for my half erection.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Nick]

You were adding in that part.

[Jake Johnson]

That was not. I agree. You were a quarter. So, Nick, you said, may I take my pants off?

[Nick]

Yeah. And then. And then she just said, yes, you may, you know, took them off. And then she's like, sit down on the table. And, you know, I. I had thought, how many people have sat on this table? And then for a second I was like, well, hopefully the. The source of this issue doesn't happen right now sitting on this white table. A lot was going through my head.

[Jake Johnson]

Every time he sits down, he leaves stains. Guy goes to the bathroom eight times a day, though.

[Sherlock]

I've thought about Nick a lot in recent. In the instance here. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Thinking about you or what happens when they rip it out is that we. Are we dealing with a whole new. It's gonna be like a fire hose. It's like striking oil. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just.

[Sherlock]

Regardless, there's no wax inside of you. You continue to be like, do they pour it? Do they.

[Jake Johnson]

This Morgan doesn't care. He has shit stains from sitting on a towel. He's not jamming it up his ass. I agree with Gareth, actually.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

All right. So back to Nick. So, Nick, you said, may I take my pants off? She said, obviously, I just did that. You sat down, you got a little scared of leaving a stain. Then what happened, big daddy?

[Nick]

Then I was expecting to be asked, you know, roll over on your stomach.

[Jake Johnson]

I would think so, too.

[Nick]

That's. That. That's what I would think so. But then she said. But then she said, roll on your back and pull your knees to your chest.

[Jake Johnson]

She fucking diapered you. Humiliating. Way to do it. So you had to put your legs up like a baby getting a diaper change.

[Nick]

Exactly.

[Jake Johnson]

I would prefer to lay on my stomach for that. I don't want to do the diaper. By the way, your dick and balls just go right into your Body Nick, you are turtling on your back, you have no genitalia, your legs are spread, you're afraid of dirty in the sheets. You don't want to be a pervert, so you keep over perving out, saying things like, can I spray my legs now? Then what happens? This isn't a turn on well.

[Nick]

And for a split second I was like, how have all my decisions in life led to this point? But then I immediately thought, anything for the potential. And if I'm really trying to get, you know, to the source of this.

[Jake Johnson]

Problem, which big part of the team, Nick.

[Nick]

Yeah. Doctor here. Doctor who? You know what I mean? It's really, I'm trying to get to the source of the problem. And that's whatever Gareth and Jake suggested.

[Jake Johnson]

So you get it?

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Ignore doctors. Okay. So, yeah. Then the, the hot liquid gets poured on the, the butt. Is this correct?

[Nick]

Yeah, very hot.

[Sherlock]

What kind of wax was it? Was it a wax strip? Was it hard wax or sugar?

[Jake Johnson]

Why did they put sugar there?

[Sherlock]

The sugar wax?

[Nick]

I'm pretty sure it was sugar.

[Sherlock]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

You do a little bit of sugar for the person to have a little bit of sweetness before they wax you out.

[Sherlock]

They put baby powder on you and then to dry up the area and you know, help with any stains that might be there. Genuinely.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, really?

[Sherlock]

Yeah, like to Santa, like, it gets rid of moisture, which would also, you know, that's what's going on behind him some.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so they baby. Did they baby powder your butt like a little baby boy?

[Nick]

I, I don't, I don't remember being baby powdered, but maybe they did for all I know. I, you know.

[Jake Johnson]

Pour sugar on your ass.

[Nick]

They. They poured something. It was definitely poured.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Nick]

It was like they put something and then they rubbed it around with a little stick and then just ripped it off.

[Sherlock]

Oh, that's hard wax.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[Sherlock]

That's one of the good ones to get. Nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Nick]

That one is hardwax. Okay. I wasn't sure.

[Jake Johnson]

So they pour and what do you think it. When you got hot wax going all around that hairy body or his neck?

[Nick]

You know, the application of the wax wasn't the worst feeling in the world, but then obviously the tearing off.

[Jake Johnson]

I know, but did you say when the hot wax came in, did you go like, I don't like this.

[Nick]

No, I just was like, by the way, my wife is as the best and I'm going to go home to my wife.

[Natalie]

I went to jail.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, my wife is the best. When they hot wax, your butthole is an Incredible move. Let me just pour this hot wax your butt. I love my life. I'm a big fan.

[Nick]

Okay, so then I think I was doing good at being, you know, cautious to make sure she knew that I wasn't a pervert.

[Jake Johnson]

You did great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you sure did great.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm not a pervert.

[Nick]

Part about it. The craziest. The craziest part about it was she had done probably, like, four strips. And then she goes, by the way, like, I thought I was done. And then she goes, oh, by the way, there's still hair there. You. Did you want me to get it all? And I was like, what did you. What do you mean? Do you want me to get. Yeah, that's why I'm here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Leave some.

[Nick]

And so we. And so that, like, doubled the problem. I mean, she doubled up on all.

[Jake Johnson]

She went back.

[Nick]

He went back over it again. Yeah. To get all the hairs. So.

[Jake Johnson]

And so now for. I mean, obviously this has become its own event, and the event is. I got a lot of questions for Gareth, too. But this was originally about solving a problem. And before we got scolded by our audience for being buffoons and having you go to a doctor, I really believed it was the right pitch.

[Nick]

So I still believe it is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Nick, you got a clean. You got a clean butt, my man. No hair back there. Yeah.

[Nick]

Oh, yeah. Yep. And let me say, I. I couldn't even recognize my own butt. It was. It was quite the transformation.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, and how's it going?

[Nick]

You know, it's only been a week and a half since. So we've only done, like, two or three sauna sessions, but you guys knocked it out of the park.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, holy shit.

[Nick]

Yeah. So far, so good. I don't want to jump to conclusions, you know, fixed, but it's. It's definitely helped.

[Jake Johnson]

So it was. It was a sticking around issue.

[Nick]

That's what I'm thinking. Yeah. But then reading all the comments from the podcast made me realize that I probably do have a problem.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. I don't know, Nick. I don't know if we solved the goddamn probe. You want to know why all these people are saying, go to a doctor? Because they've been conditioned by society. Okay, easy, rfk.

[Natalie]

Slow down.

[Jake Johnson]

Guess what? They don't make money off you if you just wax that butt. They make money off you with all the medicines they're giving you.

[Nick]

There's nothing more holistic than getting your butthole.

[Jake Johnson]

I can't believe Nick is, like, buying doctors are fake. Nick, let Me ask you a question. When you take your 9, 900 dumps in a day and you sit down on that white towel in the steam room, you leaving a mess behind?

[Nick]

No, the towel is honestly probably cleaner than before I sat on it wrong.

[Jake Johnson]

So 100% not accurate. But it doesn't have a streak. We're happy with. The problem is solved. I would say, just to be safe. What's he gonna say, doctor? Is he gonna go, I used to have a problem. No, I don't. Can I have a medicine?

[Nick]

I don't know. I probably just tell my a lot. So.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, like this. Okay. Why are you here you go. Because everybody told me I should see a doctor, and they go, you want medication because I charge you for it.

[Nick]

On the comment section.

[Jake Johnson]

Exactly.

[Nick]

Told me I need to go see a doctor.

[Jake Johnson]

Nick, I am thrilled. Thrilled. At this point, I am, too. Are you going to repeat the process? Because you might be a guy that now just has to wax?

[Nick]

Well, I was gonna say it's actually. That is real. I think you two opened up Pandora's box, and inside of it was my Pandora's box.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, you said, I love my wife.

[Nick]

While I said, yeah, exactly. So I don't know. I'm. I. I did Google how long it takes for butthole hair to grow back, and so I will probably be back. You have to keep shaving again once. I need to.

[Jake Johnson]

Great.

[Sherlock]

Four to six weeks.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Usually once a month. Once a month?

[Sherlock]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

But you know what? It's less painful every single time you go.

[Sherlock]

Natalie was just gonna say, and Nick, you'll notice they won't have to do the extra strips as you go, because the hair learns, like, to not grow as thick or as. Like this, because it's like being ripped out by the follicle every time. So you'll have a better experience each time you go. In theory.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Nick, are you going to become a regular?

[Nick]

Yeah, I mean, I think. I think I have to.

[Jake Johnson]

What a show.

[Nick]

And I was even asking my wife if she could learn how to do it.

[Jake Johnson]

Don't do that. Don't do that. Jesus Christ.

[Sherlock]

Save money. Save money.

[Jake Johnson]

No. You guys want to pay for me.

[Nick]

To go once a month? I can't. I mean, I'll take it, but it's like, you know, I can't afford that life.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on, hold on. I think you sent us a bill. It was like 40 bucks, right?

[Morgan]

55.

[Jake Johnson]

55 bucks. We will send you money for the year if you promise to go once a month. Do not have your wife wax your Butthole, my buddy.

[Sherlock]

So, yeah, don't have, like, tummy time with your wife.

[Jake Johnson]

You're saying, save the money, save the marriage.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You're not going to be able to go. You're not. You won't be able to go to the waxer anymore and talk about how much you love your wife, because there will not be a wife because you've ruined your marriage by saying, wax the bags. There are certain things that the other person should never see. One of them is you with your legs up like a little baby with your dick in your body. Completely waxes your butt. And then later you go, like. Like, what do you think? You want to have some romance? And she's like, not with your baby turtle ass.

[Nick]

That's fair.

[Jake Johnson]

Fair.

[Nick]

That's fair enough.

[H]

Yeah.

[Sherlock]

What if she catches.

[Nick]

Now, let me ask you another question, please. Maybe this is. This has come up with another. I've come up with another problem in my head.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God.

[Nick]

Okay. Do I. On the website of the waxing place, it has the option of choosing the same person over and over. Should I choose the same person each time, or should I go to a different person each time and then re. Explain how much I love my wife each time? So they let all of them know I'm not a pervert. You know what I mean?

[Jake Johnson]

N. I gotta say, I love the way your brain works. You are perfect for the show. That's a perfect followup. Morgan, Natalie, do you guys always go to the same person?

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Same person.

[Sherlock]

Yeah. You build. You actually have a relationship. You build a relationship with this person. I've had great conversations with my wax specialist.

[Jake Johnson]

See, I'm going to go the opposite direction. I do not want the same person.

[Nick]

Why? I don't.

[Jake Johnson]

You want to re. You want to have as many people see your asshole as possible?

[Sherlock]

No, Jake, you're a public figure.

[Natalie]

Think about that.

[Jake Johnson]

I. I agree, but I don't want that relationship. I don't want. How you doing? And they go, good. And I go, oh, what happened with Stacy's ice skating? And she goes, she twisted her ankle. Hold on, let me get in your butthole here. And wax. And I go like, ah, it's too bad. She was practicing so hard. I don't want that. We know each other's thing. We're more comfortable with each other. I want the. I walk in there, I turtle on my back, my dick goes in my body. And I say, you want as many people to see that as possible. And I say, I'm not a pervert. I love my wife.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Jake from New girl came in. He went on his back and as soon as his knees touched his sternum, his dick vanished. Then my wife would say, his dick is always vanished. Have him walk around. It's the same thing. I would go to the same person.

[Gareth Reynolds]

100% the same person.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. So, Natalie, same person. Morgan, same person. Sherlock. You on this call?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

If you were to get a wax and I could tell by your face you got some air on that body, you wouldn't like the feeling of a wax, I could promise you that. Have you ever had a wax?

[Tom]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No wax.

[Jake Johnson]

If you were to get. If you were to turtle and get your body wax down there, would you go to the same person or a different person for your next one? I think same person. I like having the same person cut my hair and that's the only thing I can compare it to. Yeah, I think that's a very different kind of comp, though.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Totally. Totally. Yeah.

[Nick]

But that's the closest thing I got.

[Jake Johnson]

So. Nick, I think the majority are saying same person. I am going to double down on new person each time. Where are you at here? What are you going to do?

[Nick]

I. While you guys were talking, I was thinking third option. Should I ask the person, hey, like I'm going to be doing this once a month. Should I just come to you every time? That's weird, right?

[Jake Johnson]

That's the weirdest.

[Sherlock]

That makes it really.

[Nick]

What if I sprinkled in? What if I sprinkled in. By the way, I love my wife.

[Jake Johnson]

Wait, Nick, let's do this for real really fast, okay? No joke. Let's do this for real. You be you and Morgan, you be the person working there.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And really say that you're asking them the question if they should use the same person again really fast. Let's just hear how that goes, Nick. Okay.

[Nick]

Okay. You just want me to go right now?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. You're in the shop. This is number two.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Sherlock]

Hey, how are you today?

[Nick]

Okay, I'm good. How are you doing?

[Sherlock]

Good, thank you.

[Nick]

Yeah, we're just back here for another Brazilian, if that's okay with you.

[Sherlock]

Yes, it's the business.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Nick]

See how respectful that was? By the way, I love my wife. Did I mention that last time? Sorry, forget that. But I was just curious. I'm going to be doing this once a month. Would it. Would you prefer if I just came to you every time or should I try going to different. Different estheticians or what should I do?

[Sherlock]

I mean, it's. It's a strange. Yeah, I Need the business. Yes, you can come to me every time.

[Nick]

Okay, okay, okay, I'll do that. Yeah, no, you guys are right. That. That was weird.

[Jake Johnson]

I should have made it more than perfect. Thank you for not heightening it and doing it how they would be. It's a business, Nick. They're not doing it for pleasure. They're not like, I'm into this too. Don't tell anybody. You're making it seem like this is like you guys are meeting in an alley and not telling anybody. Yeah, this is her job, brother.

[Nick]

Yeah, you're right. You're right. I'm overthinking it.

[Jake Johnson]

Questions and qualifiers. Never mention your wife again.

[Sherlock]

I also think it'll be inherently less weird the further times you go, because I'm assuming you're not going to record it every time.

[Natalie]

Well, I just think.

[Jake Johnson]

Show doesn't hate the idea of a recording every time.

[Natalie]

Doing it out.

[Jake Johnson]

Agreed. The next time when you don't record it, it'll be less weird. Especially just because you recorded your face the whole time like a pervert and you kind of were smiling it. Hey, so, Nick, you going to do this once a month?

[Nick]

Yeah, yeah, I'll do it.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth, are you comfortable if we send him a check for the year? I'm fine with that. Okay. We're going to pay for the year. I want you to go once a month and then follow up with us each time. Maybe a little voice note recording of how it went, who you. Are you willing to do that? We could just add it to the show.

[Nick]

Yeah, and then we'll bring you back.

[Jake Johnson]

On in a few months and do a real follow up of did this fix the problem.

[Nick]

Okay, will do. And you're saying just. Just so we have it on record, you're saying don't go see a doctor. Right.

[Sherlock]

Sounds like a legal issue.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, Gareth is saying see a doctor. Morgan, where are you at?

[Sherlock]

At I think be ready, have one queued up. Because if in a few months when we follow up, I think like, potentially have a doctor lined up, but I don't think go yet because we have to see this through.

[Jake Johnson]

Natalie, where are you at?

[Morgan]

You got to go see a doctor.

[Jake Johnson]

Sherlock, where you at? Yeah, doctor is a good idea, but I get why you don't want to. The community seems to be 70 to 80 to 20. See a doctor. Nick, would you take your car in for service if it was driving perfectly?

[Nick]

I wouldn't, no.

[Jake Johnson]

Would you send back a chicken burrito that tasted right?

[Nick]

I would not.

[Jake Johnson]

Neither would I. Jake, I have a question.

[Gareth Reynolds]

For you.

[Jake Johnson]

Would you want to hire a lawyer? You didn't think we needed to right now? In the future, why do you think I spoke in code there? Because, Gareth, when we go to court, I will be representing us. We'll.

[Nick]

You will not be.

[Jake Johnson]

We'll be calling a different podcast for legal help. Our. Our lawyers are going to be called Mr. Pigley and Mr. Mo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good Lord.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Nick, we're gonna. You know, you're where. This is the beginning of a long term relationship, my friend. And we're very curious. And what I really, in my heart of heart hope is that this solves your problem and you just become a guy that look. You might have just had a hairy butt, my man. And you can open the hood and keep looking and find. First of all, I would say I would figure out your diet a little bit. Nine dumps in a day is too much. It's crazy. I would slow down on the fiber, figure out what you're doing. So in your car analogy, Jake, every time he parks, there's a big oil spot, but you're saying the car runs fine. No, there's some flags. Remembering now that there's. There's some flags. So there's some flags. See if you could change that dial a little bit. But you shouldn't be going to the bathroom more than two or three times a day, brother. Okay, if that keeps going, maybe check the car out. But in terms of.

[Nick]

Yeah, hood.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, look under the hood. But as of right now, in terms of leaving streaks behind. Hey, man. Little wax of once a month with a dear friend of yours. We all know you like it. We know you're a little pervert.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

We will be nice. Must be so nice. But Nick, you're just a little pervert. Dude, it must be nice to get up from your sauna or your steam and not see poop on your tongue.

[Nick]

Yeah, it is nice. It is nice. And I really appreciate. I really appreciate the help. It feels like a home run.

[Jake Johnson]

It does for us too, my man. This is an absolute homer. Ring the bell. Nick, you're the best, buddy. Thank you, Nick. Congratulations.

[Sherlock]

Best of luck, Nick.

[Nick]

Thank you. Thanks. I appreciate it.

[Sherlock]

I like that Garrett's just sitting here bald.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth. G A R E T H For you, Reynolds. R E Y N O L D.

[Natalie]

S All right, my friend, you're all.

[Nick]

Set for 1pm over at our center.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you very much. Of course.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, bye. G me.

[Jake Johnson]

So I'm. This all just happened. So rush. I was like, I, you know, look, I don't Want to go get this goddamn thing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I never wanted to get it.

[Jake Johnson]

But then I was on. I was talking to Nat Attack because I thought I had someone scheduled to do the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm an idiot.

[Nick]

Whatever.

[Jake Johnson]

So she's like, well, go get your wax. And I was like, why? I thought I was waiting. She's like, no. So now the whole thing's rushed. And then I were texting Jake and Jake's like, I don't know, you don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have to go do it, but.

[Jake Johnson]

But Nat's like, go do it. So I'm like, like. So now I'm driving to this goddamn waxing and I don't think it feels crazy.

[Natalie]

So for your birthday month, you do get like $10 in points and stuff like that. Want to give me the birthday month?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I'm good. I. I'm not this kind of be a one timer, I think.

[Natalie]

No, yeah, all good.

[Jake Johnson]

Do you mind if I'm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When I'm in there, I have the audio of my phone as like a voice memo just for my reaction. Is that okay?

[Natalie]

You have to ask the wax.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. All right, cool.

[Natalie]

So it doesn't depend on wax.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, cool.

[Natalie]

So. Okay, so let me see. Okay, cool, cool. And then you do get the service.

[Sherlock]

Half off today for your first time. I some form of like, you just confirm your due.

[Natalie]

Awesome. Perfect. There you go. All right. I just hit the win. She'll be out for you shortly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

How much does it cost?

[Natalie]

It usually costs 67.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Sherlock]

For 33.50.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, cool. And you don't do the front too, do you just do the.

[Natalie]

No, no, it's all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, it is all of it.

[Natalie]

Yeah, it's all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, so it's the full Monty.

[Natalie]

It's. It's everything except for the butt sheets.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah. I don't want the butt sheets.

[Natalie]

Okay. Yeah, and you did want that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're bare anyway. Okay. Okay, gotcha. Okay, thanks. Appreciate it. I promise you'll hear it and you'll think it's funny.

[Jake Johnson]

So it's purple, the wax.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Should I get on the table already or. Which. Yeah, okay. Okay, gotcha. Thank you. I've never had anything like this done before.

[H]

And what with me do get that again.

[Jake Johnson]

So my show is like a call.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In show, fully naked, just for the weight down. Okay. All right, Gotcha. My podcast is a like a advice call in show. So people call in for advice and stuff.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And so butterfly, Butterfly. Okay. I've never done anything like this.

[Jake Johnson]

So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So this guy was getting it done. So I said I would do it as. Because he was getting it done. So I was like, okay, so it's.

[H]

A first, and then for the wax. Close your bikini.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure. Yeah. You go for everything. This is insane to me, though. So you do this all day? You know, this version of it, like, for men? Yeah. I mean, it's men or women.

[H]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does this hurt?

[H]

Everyone is different.

[Natalie]

Everyone is very different.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

But I would say, just in general, I would give it maybe a seven for a first timer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, boy. So it's like you're putting mayo on the bun of a sandwich, kind of. Oh, my Lord.

[H]

How's the temperature?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Temperature is fine, but it makes me nervous that, you know.

[H]

Yeah, it's definitely gonna be, like, something necessary.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can already feel with that hair on the side of my leg that that's gonna hurt.

[H]

But it may be different compared to, like, actually.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Okay. Okay.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Boy, this is. Oh. Oh, wow. Yikes. That definitely o.

[H]

It was only for a second.

[Jake Johnson]

Only for a second.

[H]

For a second.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow.

[H]

Now, did you want to move everything, or did you want, like, a landing strip or something?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I don't want a landing ship. No. Thank you for asking, though.

[H]

I like to give you guys an option.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure. That's nice. Yeah, I know. Don't. I think I'm past that phase.

[H]

But your hair is short, so it's just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I did just trim.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But the. But the rest, I've never trimmed. I mean, never, like, you know, shorned myself that much. Oh, boy. I can already tell this is going to be wild.

[H]

So how long have you had a podcast for?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This podcast is about two years now. So I think that's when they say the waxing face is. Oh, my God. Is it bleeding?

[Natalie]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Oh, that was nuts. Oh, my Lord. That was nuts. I didn't know there was more than there. Wow, this is really. This is more than I expected. I'll be honest. And then how much does the back hurt? More or less than that.

[H]

For the butt strip?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Is I feel the butt strip?

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

Your butt, literally.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is it like one.

[H]

Talk about, like, right here then?

[Natalie]

I don't know. I think it's different.

[H]

I. I don't know. Yeah, your back should be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you gonna do. Right there? Is that normally what happens?

[H]

Yeah. You want me to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How bad is that? We're talking about the balls. How bad is that?

[Natalie]

I don't think it's that bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know. I'm asking you to like, weigh in.

[H]

On parts that I wish I could.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Give you, like, a. Yeah. Do you feel like when men get it, they freak out more over that or less?

[H]

I think less.

[Jake Johnson]

Really?

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. All right.

[Natalie]

It's scary. Like, they're just like, how the hell.

[Jake Johnson]

Do you do it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is definitely scary. This is all scary.

[Jake Johnson]

Yikes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. That is intense.

[H]

We're, like, halfway done.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know if I feel good or bad. Wow. Wow. That is.

[H]

I will be asking you for your assistance.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You need me to. Yeah, okay, sure. You tell me whatever you need. But, I mean, that wax is hot.

[H]

Is it, like, burning?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's just my core temperature has risen dramatically in the past two minutes. This moves fast, though, huh? Yeah, no, I feel like if I was a reactor, sirens would be going off. Wow. Yeah. This is wild. Oh, you know what? It is less on the scrotum. On the scrotum. But then once you go to the other side, it's back to the nerve endings are real.

[H]

Doing pretty good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pretty good, right?

[H]

May think that you're probably, like, reacting crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think I'm having a pretty bad reaction, like, with how I. Okay. As long as you're not like, man, this guy's okay.

[H]

Like, you're not sweating.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I am sweating up here. Okay. I'm keeping it up to the top. Like a thermometer.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[H]

And then, like, I mean, yeah, you're reacting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a normal reaction. Women react less.

[H]

Yes. I don't think you guys can really.

[Tom]

Handle that.

[H]

As good as we can.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't disagree with. I'll tell you after this. I really. This is. It's more than I thought it would be. I thought it would be, like, something, but. Oh, wow.

[H]

Do you usually shave, though?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I just trim with, like, a manscaper deal or something.

[Natalie]

Oh, my Lord.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just wowie, wowie. Oh, wow.

[H]

Can I have you grab the other hand?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The other hand?

[H]

Can you hold, like, hold your skin?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. Yep. Okay. All right.

[H]

So, yeah, this is definitely up to you on how bad this hurts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm like, how you think I get to this side?

[H]

Well, because at the end of the day, everyone is different.

[Jake Johnson]

I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It felt earlier like that actually didn't hurt as much, but.

[Natalie]

Wow. Yeah, everyone's different.

[H]

So what may hurt for you may.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not hurt for you. Okay, well, I'll. I'll stick around for their session and talk to them too.

[H]

I have another, like, Brazilian pee.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is your only one today?

[H]

Yeah, that's my only one for today.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You probably feel good about that.

[H]

Well, having it for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you'd ra. I. My guess is in your line of work, you. These are. You'd rather not do these. You don't care.

[H]

I actually wish I had more.

[Natalie]

That.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's just. I'll be honest. It's nothing against you, but none of it's been good.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's nothing against. Yeah, it's. But we're moving down. We're marching down to the promised land.

[H]

Yeah, we're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're.

[H]

We're getting there. We're literally almost done. But yeah, I wouldn't mind having more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But why is that because of financial. Or you like doing this?

[H]

I mean, it's. It's actually cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, I mean, that's cool to hear.

[H]

Not causing guys pain.

[Jake Johnson]

No, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would imagine that's nice too, though. Who doesn't want to knock down a white guy a little bit in this society of our.

[H]

But no, I mean, like, it's good experience. Like, I mean, not a lot of women are comfortable black to men.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Right. Well, good for you because I'll tell you, this is a first for me, so I don't even. I love having a conversation with you while this is happening. No, I really appreciate that.

[H]

Yeah. That's why I was like, I don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I'm a last minute booking, so you're like, this guy's got to be out of his mind. Who's like, I need a 91 1.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, my goodness.

[H]

So is your podcast live?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's. It's. It's like, you know, we tape it all live, but then it's edited. Yeah.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's. But so this guy called in and he was going to get one, and then we started talking and I sort of said I'd do one in the solidarity move. And then all of a sudden I.

[H]

Was like, that's very nice.

[Nick]

It was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But now that I'm here, I'm like, what was I doing? But the aftermath is good. Yeah.

[H]

But then, like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I needed that.

[Natalie]

Three weeks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, really? Okay. Yeah. I think this. If I ever get one again, you'll be my person, but I'll be here. Oh, are we done with the front part? Almost. We got one more there.

[H]

I have one more strip.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, do the same thing there. Yeah, like that.

[Natalie]

Wait, hold on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, sorry.

[H]

Okay, that's a little too much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

All right, just hold it, like, right here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Natalie]

Yeah, like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Natalie]

Are you doing okay?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I'm doing great. I just.

[Jake Johnson]

It's definitely a first.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, see, now we're getting to the yeah. Now we're really. Things are happening.

[H]

This is one of the strips I.

[Natalie]

Did on the other side.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, it's the. Oh, I thought. Oh. Part of me thought we were done. So then what is the aftercare of something like this?

[Natalie]

So.

[H]

So by the post care, you do not want to take a shower.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

For 24 hours.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

Going into any swimming pools.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Natalie]

Jacuzzi.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

Beaches.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Any, like, body of water.

[Nick]

Water at all.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[H]

Because you don't want to cause any infection.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. I don't want that from any bacteria. Okay.

[H]

And then same thing with, like, no friction. Sexual activity.

[Natalie]

No.

[H]

No sexual activity.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Natalie]

You can go ahead and let go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

No gym.

[Natalie]

Like, nothing.

[H]

Does your college.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's for 24 hours. Okay.

[H]

And then after 24 hours, you can shower. But I would prefer, especially for first timers to just use their hand cloth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Okay. And then could I work out after 24 hours?

[Natalie]

Four hours, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

Yeah. And then, I mean, at the end of the day, like, I can't control you. I'm not the wax police. I. I can't follow you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[H]

You don't do anything. But if you do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you're saying. Yeah.

[H]

Make sure you shower immediately.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

And again, use your hands.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gotcha.

[H]

Gloves or anything.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[H]

And then as far as aftercare, you do want to exfoliate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Exfoliate, though, to be consistent.

[Natalie]

Good job. Good job.

[Sherlock]

Be waiting for you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's nuts.

[H]

And then we're do your butt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Okay. Is the butt strip one or two or what Is the same like the rest? Two. Okay.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[H]

I try to only do two. I don't like doing four.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. I don't either. We're on the same team.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're the same. Page with the number.

[H]

I like to get it done and over with for you guys. Can I have you hold it up like this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. Yep. Okay.

[H]

What am I saying?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You were saying the shower, like, no workout, no hand.

[Natalie]

No.

[H]

The after care.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[H]

We would like for you to exfoliate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[H]

But it's totally up to you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That just helps with no ingrown hairs and stuff. Stuff like that feel irritated.

[H]

Exfoliating helps relieve it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

You know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

It gets rid of the dead skin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

It helps prevent ingrowns from forming.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Which we're trying to not have.

[H]

Yeah. And then trying to be consistent. It's still good to do some aftercare if you shave.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

It helps you get a closer shave and everything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Natalie]

So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it feels like we're done with the.

[H]

I'm going to do a cleanup real quick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no. Okay. What does that mean? You just missed a couple zones. Okay.

[H]

So is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no, it's.

[Jake Johnson]

It's not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's cuz it definitely feels like you're going back to a zone. That was.

[H]

I know it was a big stroke.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

But it hurts less.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that did hurt less.

[Jake Johnson]

I told you.

[Natalie]

I told you.

[H]

Doing great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you're doing great too.

[Natalie]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Real good team on this one. Although I will say it feels like you're going over that spot again. Okay, I know. Yeah, I'm not.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm not suggesting that you're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're trying to kill me.

[H]

I'm not trying to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just will be a byproduct when I die on the table.

[Natalie]

Good job.

[H]

Good job.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Yeah.

[H]

So you are having your.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go ahead, hit me with it. Yes.

[H]

As if you have histamine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

Perfectly normal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[H]

You have to let your skin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Could it be. Oh, okay.

[H]

So in this case, I would very much, much like for you to literally stay away from any showers, anything that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just told you I won't do. Anything.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[H]

Let your skin relax.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[H]

This should definitely go down within an hour.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. I'll drive home bottomless like you said. Do that.

[H]

Loose fitting clothes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

Other than that, I think you should be fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

I'm gonna have you bring knees to chest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Knees to chest. Well, we really getting to know each other. We are becoming friends.

[H]

We might as well be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, this is. This. I did not. Oh, my Lord. This is the craziest thing I've ever felt someone else do.

[H]

Now, like I said, it doesn't hurt. It just feels very uncomfortable.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Jake Johnson]

Would you say the other stuff hurt.

[H]

Like the top part?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[H]

I feel like for both genders, that's worse. The top part is probably like, painful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. This is a crazy position I'm in right now.

[H]

I mean, this is probably the best position you would like to be in compared to any other ones.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I mean, on the couch. Asleep is a great one too.

[H]

You like asleep? Like laying on your stomach or something?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Jake Johnson]

Just in general.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not for a waxing. Oh, yeah, that's not as bad. It's not heaven, but.

[Nick]

Oh, wow.

[H]

Also not hell. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's not hell. No.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[H]

Let me just get rid of some of this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, sure. Yeah. Wow.

[H]

All right, go ahead, relax for me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Relax. Okay. I just had my first look at it.

[H]

I'm going have you just open up real quick for me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Like that.

[H]

Just relax.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

Put some serum dishes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. I mean, it looks like. It looks like when, like a really out of shape kid in gym class would run a lot, which was me. Oh, my Lord. It's very, very red. No fault of you. It really isn't. Okay. Okay. It's just that it's a lot. Yeah.

[H]

You're used to shaming.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[H]

This is a normal reaction.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[H]

It was like visibly, like really, really red.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[H]

I would not have continued.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Oh, really?

[Natalie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that all of it?

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're done.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my Lord. Oh, I cannot believe we did that. Look at how much I shredded the paper below me from my freakouts. Okay. Oh, I'm taking it with me like a.

[Natalie]

Sorry. Go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, you're fine. Okay. Oh, my Lord. You are an angel. That's okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Don't worry. Well, that will feel weird. Like we've been through a lot together. That doesn't feel weird. Okay.

[Natalie]

How do you feel?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just like, that was crazy, but you were awesome and. And it actually does feel interesting. I feel like a dolphin boy.

[Jake Johnson]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPodmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] heretohelpod to see our entire catalog.

[Nick]

We're Here to Help is produced by.

[Jake Johnson]

Rabbit Grim Productions, Executive producers Rob Hollis.

[Tom]

Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis.

[Nick]

Associate producer Jesse Thurston.

[Jake Johnson]

Editing, mix and master by Chris theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Sherlock]

All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward/heretohelpod.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey there, we're Heredos. That's the new name we have for you. This is Gareth. Just reminding you if you have not checked out my new podcast, next we have also a headgun production.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Please do that.

[Jake Johnson]

It is a show that just has a lot of good, quick hitting segments that are funny. The show is just silly, goofy. It's a good time. I think people will like it. That's why it was named Time magazine's Podcast of the Year.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a lot. Don't look it up.

[Jake Johnson]

But, you know, listen, we're here to help the best.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So if you like this show, I.

[Jake Johnson]

Think you might like my new podcast called Next we have. Please give it a listen. And if you like it, you know, do all that stuff you got to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do with podcasts, appreciate it.